#im stuck here!!!!! god anyway .
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superboy (1994) #8
"It, uh... it kinda goes on forever, doesn't it?"
#rimi talks#rimi's comic liveblogging#man i really do need a better panels n pages tag. oh well#anyways im living vicariously by looking at kon and dubbilex getting to travel. god i wish that were me#(<- guy who is stuck in an airport)#(<- guy who has been in this airport for like 5 hours now)#(<- guy who just wants to get on a plane and go home. please. i miss my dog. let me out. let me out of here. please)#kon
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undertale yellow. clutches head in anguish.
#[cherry on top]#undertale yellow spoilers#[..its still you]#anyways. finished my uty playthrough yesterday. oh my god.#^ that might be a bit of a surprise given that ive said like. nothing about it on here#but honestly i felt like positive-neutral about the game for most of it. like yeah it was good;#but nothing that drove me crazy. yknow? it was just an overall good game.#which is why i didnt really say anything about it#then it started picking up near the middle-end with the steamworks-#i enjoyed axis and guardener a lot; ceroba was a cool party member;#and the music in steamworks goes hard. one of my favorite tracks tbh#then there was the buildup to cerobas fight.#then i /got/ to cerobas fight and. crumples up into a ball AAUUUUUUUUUU#OH MY GODDDDDD#something about it made me shatter into a million tiny pieces.#a lot of things did actually. like how HARD IT WAS#i was stuck on her for OVER AN HOUR#BUT I DID IT. I DID IT LEGIT. IT WAS SO SATISFYING WHEN I FINALLY BEAT HER#god im just insane about ceroba rn. women who fuck up everything big time#and see no other option other than to dig their hole deeper because they sure as hell arent getting out of it#OH AND THE ENDING... BECAUSE OH MY GODDDD OF COURSE CLOVER WOULD DO THAT AHUGHHHHH#THEY'RE THE JUSTICE SOUL. THEY WANTED TO BRING MONSTERS TO JUSTICE AFTER ALL THEY FACED#OF FUCKING COURRSSSEEEEEEE AAAUUGHHHHH <- wail of anguish#KILLING AND MAIMING AND BITING.#SORRY. i needed to lose it for my mental health. quoting that one tiktok: 'im craeezay. im insaaane!'#for other tidbits i wanted to mention:#cerobas bossfight music went HARD. i fucking love the phase 3 transition especially with her yelling as the music starts;#that black hole attack can go fuck itself;#and if you were wondering how long it took me to beat uty. it was around 10-11 hours for a pacifist route.#anyways i totally need to play more games. that was fucking awesome and i need to experience more things like that
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scott mccall | labyrinth
if you enjoy the stuff i post on this blog, please consider donating to one of these campaigns to help people in palestine. thank you!
#twedit#twvid#scottmccalledit#twrarepair#scott mccall#oh my god ok one thing about me#i finish a vid in like 2 days max. cause i get possessed and if i stop ill lose the Vision#i got sooo stuck on the scolia section of this and its literally been waiting to be finished since#NOVEMBER 2022!!!!#i had a couple version of the scolia part but i literally did that and the last scallison in the last couple of days#and they both gave me sm trouble but theyre prob my fave parts YAYYY#that and the transition from the end of scallison to the beginning of scira.... love. anyways.#scallison#allison argent#scira#kira yukimura#sceo#theo raeken#scolia#malia tate#tw#tw movie#vid#one thing abt me im gonna fit a gay scott ship in here#i wish i couldve fit scisaac too but alas
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"i cant keep doing this anymore" says guy who will continue to do this some more
#its me im the guy#im so tired . so so tired#in a really bad time with my job lately#in that nearly every day is so so trying and gives me moments of stress#and every week is just a countdown to the weekend#and like the day may not even start bad but by the end of the day im just tired and on the verge of or having a headache#it may just be that i get like this especially before my vacation where im like if i dont get my vacation im going to perish#and thats coming up in september so yay i can finally relax and have fun then#and i do that on the weekends but god they are so short. i hate working full time so much but! i have no choice but to do it#i cannot afford to work part time or not at all i dont have the time or money to go to college for a degree for a better job#im stuck here!!!!! god anyway .#its also just a lot less good at my job now theres so many more people here and i dont have as much goof off time which is essential#god anyway im too tired to rant any more#only solution is to finish my screenplay and make it big
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Hoo, here we go again...
Honestly so unfair how ORV made me a romantic, i can't think about stars falling from the sky without reminding myself of a subway car following them
I've never fallen in love with a person, but this novel has given me thoughts to write prose beautifully enough that I fall for its story all over again. It made me a writer.
It made me redefine my hopes for the future, and it taught me to read all over again. It made me a reader.
It rewrote me in every important way; like I was a completely different person before this story. It made me a character.
It showed me three ways to survive in my own ruined world.
#omniscient reader's viewpoint#orv#again#sorry but just ugh#im realizing how romantic my writing has gotten#not sure if i like it or not#but its my own words so im stuck with it anyway#as a reader and a writer and a person#thank god ppl here are so nice I might died from my own self-hate otherwise#but you guys are awesome and amazing#ill shut up now#i hope you exist for a moment today
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simon : *unable to do something for whatever reason* barry : *nobody fucking asked him* hal could do it
Real and true however you severely underestimate how rude Barry is to Simon lol
Istg its
Whatever problem: exists
Barry: wow this is crazy. I wonder if Jess could fix this with this ring of hers. Let me go run into the next room and ask her, we really need a lantern on this and I bet Jess would know. Or maybe I could call Hal, he's out in space but- *leaves to get Jess or Hal*
Simon (has been standing there the entire time): 😐😐😐😐😐 <<contemplating murder
Like just oh my godd 😭
Barry rlly is such a dick to Simon unprompted at all times. Within like 6 issues of rebirth JL I think I have 3 or 4 different instances saved of this exact thing happening where Barry just totally ignores Simon's presence or what he says just to talk to or praise Jess. It makes me want to explode
#anyways simon should be allowed to snap and kill barry#put him back in his grave#also like yes im sure rebirth jl was horrible in terms of barry characterization probably like that wouldnt surprise me. but like BY GOD is#he annoying there. what did my guy do to you for real barrys out there constantly ignoring him and only talking to jess when simons RIGHT#THERE. intensely infuriating to me. also j*ssbarry makes me want to die. he has a wife guys#sorry this devolved into a complaining abt rebirth jl post but i just hate that book. been stuck in the same place in the simonjess chrono#read for months now bc i havent built up the mental fortitude to get through it#bryan hitch my archnemesis 🤬🤬🤬#if thats not how you spell it idc#answered#like they had a beef in the nu52 too but rebirth really took it to a whole other level. and i feel bad for simon bc hes my guy but also like#what can you do. you know? anyways my barry allen hater mode is showing here#blah#simon baz#barry allen
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so tired of being a shitty bandaid for my parents' loneliness. like have u ever considered you passed your curse to me and some days i feel so lonely it's like i can't breathe around the emptiness in my chest????
#my dad is like#you can't just be in your room all the time then what's the point of you living here if ill be sitting here all alone then#and im like bhai what#mom also says this to me she always wanted to sit and rant and she used to say you never talk to me#both of these people don't even fucking get it that they're not even interested in me listening to me#mom just wants a sounding board for her venting and dad just wants someone to pretend everything is okay and happy all the time and#the only important things in life is the immediate present and food and making money and stuff#i swear this is why i feel so ????? about myself my identity like no i can't describe myself#because there is no myself there is just a white sheet of paper where people can write whatever they want#im so tired man#why can't they just go and live with each other and leave us kids out of it 😭🙏#like i genuinely am getting teary eyed about such a small thing but god. i want to have my own life so bad. im sick of feeling all these#complicated emotions guilt and anger and pity and obligation and duty like just god pls fuck off#people my age are so fucking mature and put together than me so confident so clear about their path#have friends partners breakups parties just so many new memories#and im just stuck.#and im fine with it now because i get it studying is really important and this is quite basic requirement to be perfect at#atleast my syllabus to survive in this industry#but then. let me do that only. please don't make me pretend to like you like spending time with you and everything#ive hated you for like. idk 14 whole years. since the first time you hit mom in front of me#i remember it so well like my childhood broke that day you slammed her into a wall for some stupid fight and her hair was all messy and#untied and you shouted so loud i thought surely everyone can hear. and then you left to roam around the city at night with your friends#i remember this because my mom and my sister sent me to check up on you with the excuse of a painting of a parrot that i had made#i didn't understand anything back then#but yeah fuck you fuck you fuck you for being so fucking delusional thinking i love you or something#ive prayed to god that you die and i still do#it would directly mean 4 people being happy#anyway#dni#this was meant to be fun and short lol fuck
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very very personal, just insight into where im at w my family and things that bother me/have encouraged me to move out
"i know youre moving out so im just gonna say no ones kicking you out and if you feel like this is something you have to do then ok"
thanks! i know im not being kicked out! but yknow i kinda yet a weird vibe when your out of touch husband takes me to a cemetery to yell at me, tell me im just like my father/dont give my father "the time of day", and that im "mean to people who care about me" in front of his dead mother's grave in a poor attempt at guilting me out of speaking my mind. but no yeah thanks for stating the fucking obvious that im leaving on my own terms
#problems!#people seem to underestimate how quick i am to make moves#the job market is piss. cant believe yall two would blame me for being unemployed when all i do from rise to slumber is hound ppl for jobs#im not going to stay in a house where i will be 'scared straight'. that shit doesnt work on me. in fact it has the opposite effect#i respect yall even LESS now#and youre so so fucking lucky one of my goals for next year is to make things right with you it would be easy to cut you off forever#same way i did with my abusive transphobic dad.#my mom is someone i know can do better and can actually listen to reason instead of being stuck in her generation's mentality of#'x is easy if you just do y. you kids have it so easy the world is at your fingertips' blah blah fucking blah#i am autistic i do not keep jobs easily. i am trans jobs do not want me. i am black and perceived as a woman. every customer at all of my#past jobs thinks i am rude or mean or have an attitude when i do nothing but treat others the exact way i would want to be treated#customers dont like what i say? i stop talking. customers dont like when i dont talk? i talk to them. rinse repeat#like i know im the problem here but all of my problems circle back to my autism and the fact that because im not a supergenius or#someone whose special interest is capitalism i fail at every avenue i try to jam myself in.#but yeah no i need to work harder i need to be taken to a FUCKING CEMETERY and yelled at by YOUR HUSBAND for wanting to go to the bathroom#in front of his mothers grave. god rest her soul and yall know im no christian so i actually mean that shit#because in his mind all i want to do is smoke and party. when i smoke because i have fucking migraines and g to shows#(two out of three of them being free and for the purpose of their willingness to 'get me out of the house')#bc i like music and i like engaging w my scene. but no its all violent noise theres no actual purpose or activism behind moshing. nope#its just one big party right. im just wasting my time right. because i like sleepin on a couch every night with no doors to close. yep ok#anyway heres to me getting my meds getting the fuck out and being somewhat far from my scene now that im moving#hows that for smoking and partying all the time huh?#if any of yall read this i am so so sorry. bitching about my stepdad will become a thing i think#hes one of those bible thumpers that are totally boring and indifferent to differences around them and thinks my mom is just like him#in some ways? she is. but she is a people pleaser and will never take her wants or her feelings seriously#because she had the unfortunate upbringing in being brainwashed into thinking her feelings/wants are sinful#shoutout to my christian or catholic mutuals who are fucking normal and dont let some old fantasy novel control your life. peace#religion mention
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i like literally wish i didnt feel compelled to rewatch and relisten to the same things over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again its like actually really annoying and frustrating because i just feel like im constantly stuck in a loop doing the same things over and over but thats just literally what its like being autistic like its just frustrating cos i dont want to have to be constantly fighting with myself over it because its like okay we dont need to get stuck in the daily loop of walking in circles for hours listening to the same songs we've heard 200 times or sitting and watching things we've seen 30 times and there are better ways we could be spending our time but the compulsion is SO strong and its just Omfg like its just annoying and horrible because I have to force myself to try to break out of patterns I wish the constant compulsion I have to do the same things over and over and over and over and OVER AND OVER wasnt there at all because it would make things way easier for me and it just makes me feel so dumb.
#Like please for the love of god can we stop doing the same things over and over and go have new experiences oh my god#And i dont know its hard not to beat myself up constantly#im thinking about how im back into the same thing i was into for literally like 5 years when i was younger and i love it so much but it als#causes me despair because im like so im just spinning my wheels but like having a special interest that brings you joy your whole life is#the whole thing with being autistic and its fine but im just like ughhh UAEGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!#how it feels to go back to your old hyperfixation and its the guy with the chains on his wrists.#anyways omfg sorry that all i do on here is either post autistically about this band or agonize for some reason about being into this band.#if i could just calm the fuck down.#its literally fine but im like soooo im just walking in a circle forever and ever#but if i could just stop feeling guilty for no reason i would be having so much more fun#but the circular/obsessive thought patterns also mean i constantly worry about the same thing . when will i shut up#i just had a bad day because i basically have done nothing but stare at screens and its fine but i feel Aueahehaeufhehweughwhgdjhgdf#Its pathetic though like i have to fight with myself to pause music to even put on a podcast or something and its just so like. oh my god i#a grown adult come on#but i literally will like start an album too and then be like well i cant turn it off i have to listen to the whole thing and ill do that#with 4 albums and just walk and walk and then im like so i wasted 2 hours#etc etc its just god i dont know i feel so frustrated with myself constantly this doesnt have anything to do with a specific thing anymore#its just the general like. i do the same things every day im just stuck in this pattern of behavior constantly it makes me so frustrated#i didnt do Any of the things i actually wanted to try to do today so im just like.#im at least gonna go play guitar for a few hours
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It might just be a lot of things. I really don't know. I don't like not having any energy after work but it staves off a lot of our thought processes but at the same time I don't love it. It's tolerable but I want to be doing something else. I wanna be in the dirt and I want to feel the earth under my feet and I want to know she's listening to me and telling me it's ok and I want to take care of her like she's taken care of me. I want to plant trees and cut back weeds and learn to identify our native plants and I just can't do any of that and make a living. It's not even a volunteer opportunity for me. I'm just some random citizen who didn't even go to school for any of it. And I'm so lonely. I'm the loneliest I've been. I love all my friends online I do. Truly and wholly but it doesn't help the fact that I have no one around me irl. And it hurts. And I'm scared. And I am so small all the time. And I just want it to change.
#elias.zip#i think. that dreamis affecting me a little more than I thought it did. it really exemplified that I feel like everyone sees me as not tryin#g to make connections in my adult life but im in a dead town with an aging population i didnt grow up in or around. i can't find public even#ts that would get me around people my age. I can't drive still to go places anyways and I struggle so fucking with the entire process anyway#s that even with the stars aligned I fuck myself over anyways. I'm too weird. too quiet. too loud. not assertive. weird. weird. weird. werid#. just some fucking crybaby.#everyone's moved on from being anxious but not me. I can't do it. i try and try and try and try and push myself out of my comfort zone but n#obody wants new friends. and my interests are too niche. and i dont fit in and nobody wants to be friends with the baby because all he does#is cry and god I've felt worse moving here than i ever did back at the old house and it feels like I'm never going to get to see what cou#ldve been I'm stuck like this!!#sometimes i really wish i could just leave. leave it all. vanlife or backpack or something and learn why i was made to live as a human. i ju#st want to go back home. I wanna see my packmates again. I'll do better this time. Please. I'm sorry
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.
#microphone effect#vent ahead ->#im. really lonely#i miss loving someone.#i miss having a partner.#stuffing my head full of fandom bullshit to distract myself only works for so long yanno#found some old letters from my ex and read them against my better judgement.#good god. we were so in love. that breakup took me by surprise so horribly#i still cant quite comprehend it. and its been over a year#over a year of me being alone and realizing i dont want to be anymore#but im stuck here. in shitville rural conservative midwest. with not many great options for a gender-confused super nerd#still embarrassed about the state of their life at the age theyre in#its just great. /s#anyways i feel really bad. think i need to have a good cry
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Cant you communicate to him that you REALLY dont like the way she treats you??
oh wait yeah shes— fuck.
uh
….im out of ideas.
..yeah..
#i dont have anywhere i can go anyways#im stuck here.#uzi posts#i really tried before but he just wants me to mend my relationship with her because he thinks its just. normal#OH GOD I FORGOT HIS PARENTS WERE PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE TO HIM TOO GOD DANNIT YEAH NO THIS I S NORMAL TO HIM...#tw abuse
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Since you mentioned it, what did you think of Speak No Evil? I was thinking of watching it myself :0
i really liked it ............ my friend scoffed at me when i told her i was watchin it so take my opinion with a grain of salt tho </3
#snap chats#SHE DIDNT EVEN WATCH IT BUT W/E SPOILER FREE QUICK REVIEW DOWN HERE HIIII <3<3<3<3#ive been made aware my tastes are. Questionable so proceed with caution vlklvjv im so sorry if i convince you to see it and you dont like i#moving on I Have. done nothing but listen to Eternal Flame for the past week its been stuck in my head ever since#BUT FR as i said I Really Liked It. i heard that theres another/original version so i wanna watch that at some point#if i care to remember and find it vjaelkjeakl but as This Movie On Its Own i had a swell time !!!#it does a really good job of teetering that line of#'this is just a quaint little sometimes-awkward get-together' and 'this is so stressful i just might throw up'#it did a good job of keeping me invested and on my toes i guess- it bitters innocuous scenarios really well which i like#like i wasnt sure WHEN whatever scene i was watching would turn sour but i always had that feeling it /would/- that lingering feeling#the horror in this is more psychological than violent- it only gets crazy by the last quarter honestly#which isnt bad! i like psych horror and Christ. the amount of times i was just grimacing in my seat like Suspense Is The Word#like imagine a dinner party where people only say controversial things and you dont want to blow up the situation#so you just try to be really polite about pivoting from the topic. but they keep going. thats basically the horror of this movie at its cor#i do have SOME comments about some bits but i wanna rewatch the movie at some point to be thorough on my comments jglejlakj#yk do a rewatch where im. NOT jokin bout with my brother- THO TBF DESPITE THAT I was still invested#like its premise is so. simple? in concept imo. but 'simple' isnt automatically bad in my eyes and i really liked how it played out#i dont watch movies much tho so maybe its been done different but there is ONE thing tht definitely made me like. HUH#but its nothing super major i dont htink? I MEAN IT WAS KINDA BIG BUT there were signs to it being revealed. still it made me vjLJ like god#i cant explain tho cause SPOILERS but ... Yeah. its not that crazy it just definitely took me by surprise for how quick the reveal was#tldr: if you ever wanted to watch an awkward dinner party where you couldnt do anything about it this is the movie to watch#and i like that. i like that because i hate myself apparently jVLAEKJVAEKLJ#coupled with horror it was also funny at times which i felt did help with that underlying 'when will this be tainted' horror#i really liked that ... when normalcy or the feeling of safety can be taken away in an instant#if you watch it and wanna talk bout it more in depth ill prob have rewatched it by then and id like to give a more. Detailed review#OR AT LEAST ONE NOT SO RAMBLY VELKAVJEALKJ im not good at reviewing things .... i just know when i like or dont like somethin ..#ive only had my bro to talk bout this with and he doesnt really. Give his thoughts or opinions too much like i do#so id be happy to talk bout it and get your perspective !!!! but only if you want Again if you dont like it im so sorry erlakjaekl#god theres so much more i want to say but im just rambling and i wanna be brief for you my friend vlakjlakvlkj#anyway yeah. those are my quick thoughts. i was Very Normal about james mcavoy for most of this movie ty for reading
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instead of continually making new posts, i'm just going to rb this when the medical system has failed me in some way KJNkjankjn.
#if i'm gonna vent i can at least make it funny and keep it organized LMAO#anyway. guess who had to reschedule a procedure a second time bc - just like the 1st time - this facility is ALSO 'out of network'#despite the fact that they GUARANTEED me during rescheduling that this place was good#and despite the fact that I GO TO THAT HOSPITAL FOR ALMOST EVERY DOCTOR. PROCEDURE. TEST. AND ER VISIT. LIKE....#someone's fucking making shit up here and stringing me along. and tomorrow i have to find out who. :3c#god. even if ren couldn't do anything to make it make sense bc he's stuck in the same shitty system i am... i want to hug him... ough.#give him kissies. let him give me kissies. faceplant into his chest on the couch. /hold/ /is hold/ or whatever. as long as he's close... :(#ugh i might redo the meme with fresh art or smth later i just threw some old art on it bc im tired jndkjn#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]#vent -
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HOLY COW YOUR BIBLE POSTS
I’ve been Christian for 15 years and I never thought about the prophets as whumpees. I am enraptured by this take on the Bible.
Also, have you gotten to Jezebel yet? Her death is *chef’s kiss*
JEZEBEL IS ANOTHER FAVOURITE OF MINE YES. not as in omg i love her but as in wow amazing story. for anyone who doesnt know jezebel was prophesised to die and have her body be eaten by dogs so that she would never be buried. and thats exactly what happened. very very whumpy. and u know what? im not mad abt it at all bc she wanted to hurt my dear dear elijah... no one hurts my dear dear elijah.
im glad u like my bible posting :) ive been told my comments and opinions r... very fresh. a new perspective /j the thing is- yes im reading the bible but im also super super cynical abt it and i also have "must project onto the characters and must read it like its a YA novel" disease. like bc of my bad experience w religion i went into it Wanting to poke holes in it lol but the more i read the more i understand how it works. and the more i understand that most of the Bad Bible Things ive heard growing up were either completely taken out of context or straight up lies. its a little comforting ngl
#my intense desire to poke holes in the story and bring up every messed up thing god does is just the other side of the coin for me#w one side being 'i want the bible to be good so so so bad'#so i poke holes in it and hope someone debunks them yknow#well u guys dont rly see me poking holes in it i only share the fun stuff here#but yes anyway i am super glad u enjoy it lol#as im reading im thinking... im glad im documenting my first read thrh#bc if i do become christian and i do get sucked into this whole world again#i want to be able to look back at my first impression#instead of getting stuck in my views#idk if that makes any sense sorry#ANYWAY#asks#poetryofdory#not so holy bible posting
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one more night suffering through the curse of living in aragon, land where voice tones are very loud and booming. and some men refuse to cant control their voices so it can be 2 am and i will be hearing him speak in the room next door
#worst of all is that yesterday i found out through the security guard who is my friend (kind of? i guess?)#that the security guard thats here today complained abt me complaining. as in 'it seems everything bothers her (me) now'#'its like we cant speak at all or we bother her'#SO NOW I DONT WANNA BE AN ANNOYING WOMAN AND TELL HIM TO SHUT UP#god i wish someone would either tape his mouth SO HE SHUTS THE FUCK UP so i can sleep/study/concentrate. or slap him silly#so he realizes. I BET. that if i was not a woman he would take me more seriously#but nooooo. i gotta get out of my room every single fucking day that hes here to tell him to lower his voice. bc he doesnt want to CONTROL#his voice volume. the other security guard (my friend) told me that he told him that!!!! that he just had to control the tone and volume#but nah man. my security guard friend also doesnt like him😭bc he doesnt shut up lmaaooooo AND hes super irresponsible#anyways im so sorry guys im truly so fed up with this. also did you guys know that one time i went to tell them to shut up and i got stuck#in there with THEM TALKING for an hour. it was 1.30 am or so when i went there. i got out at 2.40am🥴#they wouldnt let me go. they just keep droning on and on. and they also just basically not let you get a word in#and i was standing the entire time too😭#z xarre
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