#im stressed af but imma be honest

[adimouze]

I may be a bit apprehensive esp after how they announced Checo despite reassurances that they were not gonna, but to be honest I think I’m gonna take a page out of Daniel’s book and just enjoy the butterflies. He’s here, he’s glowing, he’s having fun and he’s being taken care of. I would rather enjoy the moment than worry about next year already. Whatever happens will happen x

[dragon-spaghetti]

I need to know more about Rosé 😭 she is so cute omg.

1. How does she exist? I really want to know about your canon for her.

2. How is Rosé and Violet's relationship and how they met each other with the deal of Violet living in heaven and Rosé being a hellborn/daughter of sinners?

3. How Husk's grandmom took the news about Rosé?

4. What do the rest of the guys think about Rosé?

5. What would happen to Rosé if Angel and Husk were redeemed? Would she leave hell with them?

6. Does Molly get to know about her brother's family?

Sorry if there are many questions, I really love it when people make these kid characters it's so cute and hits my soft spot 💗

IMMA AMSWER TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY IM AJSJEHS IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE HER

1) imma be so real I'm leaving this up for interpretation LMAO, do we get mpreg do we get magic who fuckin knows, not me ✨

2) oh they fuckin adore each other 🥹 Violet always wanted to have a little sibling and, for obvious reasons, thought she'd never get to, so Rosé is a welcome addition!! I'm fucking with heaven's rules and saying that violet stays at the hotel on the weekends ✨

3) she was v happy for them both!! She had passed before violet was born, was overjoyed to get to hold her second great grandbaby 💖

4) Charlie begs to babysit, thinks she's adorable lmao 😭 Vaggie is in the 'oh god what do I do' boat but has a soft spot for her!! Alastor generally ignores her, husk starts bristling if he gets too near and as funny as it is to mess with him Al doesn't really have enough interest in an infant to bother. Niffty has been found standing over her crib watching her before; no one is really sure why but she seems to like her. Pentious bawled holding her for the first time, he also loves babysitting but stresses himself out over wtf to do. Cherri thinks she's funny af, doesn't really know what to do with an infant but Rosé is always laughing when she's about so "hey I must be doing something right". Lucifer made her a lil duck toy which she adores and he is so 🥹 about it lmao

5) honest to god I do not have an answer to this 💀 if both were redeemed then yes she'd go with them, but if only one was then I have no clue HA

6) eventually yes!! Not sure how canon will approach her potentially being brought in, but fuck it we ball rn since I've already got husk's family in here lmao; she absolutely adores both Rosé and Violet, and could not be happier for her brother 💖

No worries at all!! I have fun answering them (even though it takes me forever ;^^)

[free-pool-trash]

Okay, can I requests all free! boys (maybe add for albert and kaede too) with s/o who is youtuber (they s/o is pretty famous though) and what kinds of video would they like to do together. I love your writing and tq for it and don't forget to stay safe🥰🥰

Hey lovely! 💕 i love this request so imma pump it out rn (hey Free! queens haven’t seen yall in a while, how we doing? 😎)

Im just gonna do for style 5 + Albert and Kaede for now but let me know if you want the rest 😉

This is actually something I’ve thought about a lot so lets get into it 🤩

Did i proof read this? No ❤️

Haru:

He’s that boyfriend who supports you in everything you’re doing while simultaneously having absolutely no clue what you’re doing

For example; vlogging absolutely boggled his mind at first

“Who are you talking to?”

“Oh I’m just vlogging, do you wanna say hi?”

“Vlogging?”

“Yes, say hi.”

“BuT tO wHo?”

After a while he gets used to it though

“You’re vlogging? Hey guys.”

You have to beg him to be in videos otherwise he won’t do it

When he does though it’s usually a good old “How well do we know each other challenge” and sometimes you can even manage to rope him into one of those “picking each others clothes” videos

He’ll make appearances in vlogs though

Actually quite likes holding the camera

He ends up seeing fans in public and when they come up to him he’s like “👁👄👁 how do you know who i am?” But after the initial shock he’s really nice to them

Will facetime you so they can say hi

Absolutely 100% gains a fanbase of his own

All the comments under your videos with him are the funniest things ever with some gems such as:

“Haru really said 😐(😍🥰)😐”

“POV: ur the camera seeing Haru actually smiling ❤️👄❤️”

“#saveharu”

Makoto:

Supportive king!!!

Hands down your number one fan

He’s always offering to help you with your videos

Is always down with being in videos with you

His favourite thing is making videos like story times and doing gaming videos with you

Which are usually pretty chaotic and funny

The gaming videos provide your subs with a lot of cute y/n-makoto content

“Babe I suck at this”

“No you don’t, you’re the best” he says it really quietly while smashing buttons and taking his game very seriously

Vlogs are the best too, he talks to the camera like he’s on a FaceTime

“Oh! Hey guys, how are you all doing? I hope you’re doing good.”

Your fans love him

You’ve earned the “mom and dad” title

Since they love him so much you often let him take over daily vlogs

“Hey guys. Y/n isn’t feeling great today so you’re stuck with me!”

The comment section:

“Hi dad 🥺😭”

“Imagine having a boyfriend who loves u enough to literally do your job for you when you’re sick 😭😭😭😭”

“Whose gonna tell y/n that her boyfriend contemplated bringing home like 5 different cats 😳”

Everyone wants you to give him an e-boy transformation

You’re still trying to convince him

Rei:

I think he’d really enjoy doing videos with you

Not camera shy at all

The man has a lot to say

His partner has a beautiful online presence and he’s super proud of you!

He’d love making videos that have a little bit of competitiveness to them

Loves a challenge

Playing boyfriend tags with him is stressful af because he has the date of everything you’ve ever done memorised

Absolutely BODIES the swapping clothes for a day videos

He’s a really good sport and your fans really like him

“Rei looks better in a skirt than I do, you guys...”

“I simply can’t help my calf muscles, my love.”

Not great with vlogging

The comments you get:

“Rei when the vlog camera comes out in the mall 🙈 i do not see🙈”

“I wanna see them wear matching outfits 👀”

“Y/n please ask Rei to start up a studying channel 😭”

You actually rope him into making a study tips video with you

To be fair he does most of the talking and you just listen and look at him like 🤩🥰

He loves interacting with fans

He’s always liking and commenting on fan edits of you on Instagram

Nagisa:

Jenna and Julien. Jenna and Julien. Jenna and Julien. Jenna and Julien.

Most chaotic baby on camera

Craft! Videos!

Also chaotic challenges

King of gaming videos

He also is willing to let you put make up on him

“Nagisa, I’m begging you, please sit still.”

Absolutely does not sit still but gives you a lil kiss

He’s so sweet on and off camera

Most of your vlog content is just him doing golden retriever boy stuff

Your audience adore him

Videos come up in your suggestions and they’re all like, “Nagisa being chaotic for ten minutes straight”, “Y/n trying to get Nagisa to pay attention for 4 minutes.”

He gets so excited when your doing videos together, “Yeah guys, this is actually my channel now. I’m taking it over.”

“No he isn’t.”

“Yes I am. Sorry babe but you’re fired.”

Mr. Steal your channel

Rin:

😍😍😍 am i right?

First of all; he’s such a heart throb

Your fans are obsessed with him

He always wants you to work out with him so you decide to get some content out of it

Video gems like “Eating like my olympian Boyfriend for a week”

“RinRin, how the fuck are you even still alive?”

“It’s a salad, Y/n, not a bowl of air.”

“Who the fuck orders a salad at a restaurant, Rin?”

“I’m so sorry that you guys have to hear this profanity.” He says to the camera as if he doesn’t swear every five seconds

Those are usually the types of videos you guys make together

The comments you guys get when he’s feeling lovey in a video

“Oh to be Y/n 😓”

“Alexa, play sweater weather by the neighbourhood”

“The way he looks at her. Im in pain.”

“If they ever break up, i want you to put me down.”

Vlogging at the movies is hilarious because 99% of the time when you come out he’s crying

“Guys please stop telling Rin to take his shirt off on camera, he literally can’t say no and it’s distracting.”

Rin swimming content is highly requested

And what can you say? You give the people what they want 😌✨

Albert:

He’s into it

Once the camera comes on, this man becomes a comedic legend

“Hey guys, today we’re uh, doing something. I’m gonna be honest I don’t know, I didn’t ask. My girlfriend pulls out the camera and I do what I’m told.”

“We’re going to give you different aesthetics.”

He’s like 🤗 “oh okay go for it”

Very complient

He’s down for absolutely anything

“Content is content baby”

Sometimes he just comes into your video room and hijacks your videos

“Thought I’d pop in and say hi”

And by pop in and say hi he actually means sit beside you and look at the camera like he’s on The Office

Oh my god do the fans love this man

He trolls them

He sees comments like, “Y/n is so cute! 😍” and he’s like, “That’s why she has a boyfriend.”

They love him though and if he sees them out in public he’s super sweet

Kaede:

(Im ngl this dude kinda scares me)

Probably has to be coaxed into making videos with you

I get the impression that this man is cocky on camera

Did someone say ✨pda✨

“K, I’m making a video”

“So?”

Doesn’t really interact with fans

Or pay too much attention when he’s actually filming with you

He doesn’t really care but he does it because it makes you happy

He’s more responsive when it comes to vlogs

“I’ve convinced y/n to come to the pool with me, she doesn’t swim but she looks hot in a swimsuit. Not as good as I do, but still.”

You have to cut a lot of the stuff he says out of videos

He makes so many innuendos

✨comments✨:

“It’s the way Kaede doesn’t care about literally anything for me 🙈”

“Someone please check on Y/n, she’s TIRED 😩😓.”

[amjustagirl]

hi Nikki~ it's ellie again !! glad to see you found Fitzgerald interesting ! im waiting for book recommendations myself, especially ones from country if you'd like. i've noticed that most writters outside the English/American/Russian trio don't get as much recognition and it feels a little silly, at least that how things are in Europe ig

i was reading the Kuroo fic you re-blogged (im horrible when it comes to noticing things so i didn't even read the title to be honest T^T) and then i kept scrolling down your blog and ended up reading tug of war, again, im terrible when it comes to noticing things so i didn't even know it was you that wrote it ! i actually came here to recommend you this amazing Atsumu fic i had just read but i had to go back to read the tittle and author so i could, you know, properly recommend it to you and then i realised, the writting style felt familiar for a good reason ... anyway the bottom line is that you served yet another beautiful piece, thank u !! 💚🌸

that aside how have you been? i understand you have a lot of things going on lately but please remember to take care before anything !!

ellie! i'm so sorry for responding to this so late but i wanted to marinate and consider what books i loved so i cld give you a proper response! im guilty of reading mainly english / american (well, less russian cos tolstoy is heavy af and imma not reading nakabov lolz) authors too, though to be very honest we don't have a robust literature scene in singapore, esp given the fact that the country is barely more than half a century old! i shld delve into it more, but for now i definitely read more singaporean poetry than prose.

but for book recommendations - the orange girl by jostein gardner really shaped my writing with lines like "Sometimes it’s worse for us human beings to lose something dear to us than never to have had it at all". oh and i loved the quiet desperation and the what might have been in kazuo ishiguro's the remains of the day. if you like something light hearted - the corfu trilogy by gerald durrell is super fun and it will make you want to spend a year in greece, and for mysteries - agatha christie is such a classic? i used to read a book of hers every single day in my teenage years!

i probably disappoint you - my reading tastes aren't super sophisticated HAHA.

and awww <3 im glad you enjoyed the little atsumu fic! idk i never even knew i had a writing style but i suppose looking at my fics...there are a few cornerstones in each one! tug of war is really kind of my rendition of youthful love, and i...actually want to revisit that story with a sequel collateral damage that examines atsumu and the reader through their long distance relationship and in their adulthood.

im...a little burnt out, not going to lie. work has been quite relentless, my social battery's being used up by my husband's friends and i'm constantly stressing myself out to hurry finish my kita longfic cos i'm worried ppl here will get impatient with me. but!! i've been reminded to slow down and enjoy the process, so i will try my best? thanks for asking though i rly do appreciate it - what about you!!!

[goatbi]

Hope everything is going well :) Its currently late at night and I'm anxious cuz i just opened my tommyswap ask blog and I'm thinking of some of you all and I think you've been stressed so imma remind you to take care of yourself and drink some water and stretch for a minute :) and tell your friends too. Being dehydrated is no fun and I only have the courage to barely send you messages oop

sflaskdjf Valid af, but i am just a littol creachure, I am just sittin here

I’m doing good ! Drinking water, had some food (it was popcorn if im being honest) but !!! I’m doing good now, thank you !

[dcmiiniic]

wuddup, is mini ! again so dom needed a revamp since some people left and now some things don’t make sense. also i know jackshit about sports unless it’s soccer or basketball. i have bamboozled myself, so i switched things around to fit connections better and just how dom is. :)

❛ new york’s very own Dominic Parker was spotted on broadway street in  Off-White White 3.0 Off-Court Sneakers. your resemblance to Reece King is unreal. according to tmz, you just had your twenty third birthday bash. while living in new york, you’ve been labeled as being impatient, but also idealistic. i guess being a sagittarius explains that. three things that would paint a better picture of you would be reading a book by the beach, torn up runners, and neon highlighters & ( cismale & he/him )

LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANNA KEEP CONNECTIONS, OR FIGURE OUT NEW ONES. LIKE THIS AND I’LL IM YOU 🖤

(if not imma just assume) 

Basic Information

Full Name: Dominic Omar Parker

Nickname(s): d, dom

Age: 23

Date of Birth: December 20th 1995

Zodiac sign: sagittarius

Hogwarts house: ravenclaw

Ethnicity: african-american/white

Nationality: american

Gender: cis male

Pronouns: he/him

Orientation: bisexual

Religion: agnostic

Language(s) Spoken: english

Accent: american

Favourites

Weather: summer

Colour: orange

Music: logic, big sean, etc.

Movies: the lion king

Sport: track + field

Beverage: hennessy or red label

Food: oxtail soup

Animal: sea lions + turtles

Family

Father: henderson parker

Mother: cassandra parker

Sibling(s):��3 siblings ( 1 sister, 2 brothers WC? )

Children:  aaliyah strawberry parker, 1 yr. (stormi webster fc) 

Pet(s): a turtle named franklin

BIOGRAPHY

The Parkers are a family known for their businesses worldwide through import + exports - of what ? we don’t ask. It’s more or less legit, but there’s some shady stuff under it all that no one really talks about. So, Dom’s mom is from the Bronx, and his dad is from Brooklynn, the two met at a house party, and were street pharmacists for awhile, just to get things started. They invested the money they made from their business into a consumer goods company that arose in mid 90′s, it becoming known worldwide. 

Dominic was raised with his siblings, him being the middle child and they were primarily raised by his grandmother in The Bronxx. 

At 10 years old, The Parker’s moved from NYC to California for a few years, and in Cali, Dom mainly studied since that’s really all he could do.

He was really into books, music, and going for runs a lot. Studying came easy to him.

Out of all his siblings, Dom got the higher grades without even trying, and that’s why his dad had super high hopes for him. There was a lot of pressure on him once his dad saw he was able to get straight A’s without having to stress very easily. 

Dominic never rlly saw himself as anything besides average - he knows he’s smart, and he can get away with a lot, but he really never cared, but seeing his dad be happy just from his accomplishments made him want to please him more.

@ 15 years old, The Parker’s moved back to NYC bc Dom’s dad wanted his kids to go to Uni back in NYC. While Dom wasn’t responsible with studying, he did well, and he got a lot of beatings from his grandmother when he didn’t study, or stayed out late a lot before an exam. 

It was a wild ride but at 18, he got into Columbia University for Law, and did 4 years to get his degree. As easy as it was for him to get that piece of paper and please his dad - and Dom was being groomed for the business - It was something Dominic didn’t want. He didn’t even like his degree at all if he was being honest. 

After getting his degree, and during the first year of his Master’s program, Dominic dropped out to pursue other interests. 

Dropping out of school caused a strain in his relationship with both his parents. For awhile Dominic was cut off and had to make way for himself. Good thing his name was already floating between bigger collaborations.

He was a socialite for awhile, attending parties, going to fashion week, being sponsored by brands. His whole life was kinda to just show up, and be this influencer. 

He’s opened up Youth programs in different parts of New York city to help kids become dreamers for a better future. 

On top of being a program co-ordinator, he’s diving his hands on creative/artistic directing for different brands. Right now it’s with Louis Vuitton, Balmain ( So think of Olivier Rousteing or Virgil Abloh  ) AND Nike.

He did this in 2 years, mf is poroductive af ok

A year and a half ago, Dom had a one night stand with some girl, and that wasn’t serious except for the fact that she got pregnant. That’s when Aaliyah Strawberry Parker was born! There’s no bad blood between dom and his baby mama (npc), except maybe that they don’t agree on things but it’s fine, it’s cool. Dom still does his best to be a dad, and he doesn’t really talk about his daughter in public cos he’s the type to keep that part as protective as possible, y’know? 

And you know, he’s still a mfng fuckboy, out here doing dumb isht.

PERSONALITY + HOW HE IS

Throwback Dom and present Dom are two different people. When he was younger, he took things a lot more seriously, mainly because he was oppressed to do the things he actually wanted to.

Now, he’s pretty laid back, but he has really good resting bitch face, most people will probably think he’s serious since he doesn’t smile too much.

He’s kind of always analyzing things inside his head. He loves a good book, puzzle, challenge.

Really, once you know him, he’s a goofball, pretty dumb. Loves his face masks and old books bc he likes the relaxing life too.

Take him to a party or anywhere really and he knows how to work a room. his smile is infectious and once you get him in a meeting, interview, etc, it’s like game time.

He’s pretty honest and blunt, and cares a little too much without wanting to care but acts like he doesnt care which he can pull off. Feelings man, they do these things to you. fkdfghdfsjkg

He’ll go for 10k runs just to let out steam, or just find some kind of work to do. so yes, he still loves track + field.

Sometimes too chill for his own good wELP

CONNECTIONS (i took from my old intro, but these can spark other connections. )

some connections based off of muse posts :)

one

two

three

four

five

six

seven

eight

nine

ten

besides that, i’m down for anything !

unrequited connections

toxic relationship/friendship

brotps

give me a SQUAD

first loves

childhood friendships

sibling type friendships

exes on good and bad terms

all the fwb~

creative type friends

enemies plots pls

crossword puzzle friends pls

[survivor-kuwait]

Episode 10 - “I wanna merge” - Thomas

alright just a recap of the round since i was at work all day! i was suuuuper excited that despite being in the warzone i was there with owen and matt my main boiz. also now people don't need to go bitching that i haven't been there yet anymore xoxo bite me cullan u bitch. apparently right when we got to the warzone tommy threw out adrian's name to trace bc he's still pressed about him calling him inactive during the round that nehe left which i mean eyeroll but ok. so as soon as i heard this i told matt, which probably was a mistake on my part but oh well. at that point i still was wanting to go through with what matt had wanted which was an alliance with us, adrian, and maynor. matt tells me last night though that adrian apparently initially brought up wanting to vote myself or owen due to challenge prowess, and i'm assuming the fact that we're winners as well. again, eyeroll. i brush it off and am like well let's sleep on it and see where we're at in the morning. so i tell owen all of this as well and make him promise me not to leak bc this could've potentially been a big round for us depending on what we wanted to do. he agreed with me that adrian even suggesting our names in passing wasn't a cute look and i didn't really wanna stand for that. we talked about it in pms and then again in the paradise hotel chat and it was odd bc then traces' information and actions were always seemingly right behind us. i'm fairly certain matt was leaking all of it to him but ok. i mean i hope he wasn't, but we'll see. trace and adrian got close real fast if they weren't already so that was kind of another point that i was trying to drive home with matt. good ol' matt kept mentioning yk that me and owen are his main people and that he doesn't care if adrian goes and at that point it just felt like ok well put your money where your mouth is. so we push for that and come to the conclusion that we really just need us, tommy and chloe obvs bc she's not gonna vote herself. the group decides to leave trace out of it after i bring up how trace apparently has all of the tea so maybe it wasn't getting leaked to him afterall??? idk shrug. i did let stephen know what was going on a little before tribal, i probably should've confirmed with him earlier but i wasn't sure how much he was willing to trust me with kind of right away like that. everything goes right as planned and adrian leaves 6-2??? happy to be back and out of the warzone, but i miss matt and owen already, but corey is back with me now!!! oh that reminds me apparently matt is wary of both ian and corey so i gotta keep an eye on that moving forwards and plan accordingly. ummmm also trace messaged me and was like hey so what happened?? i decided to tell him that i legit must've misunderstood messages from someone and that he was back to voting adrian. idk i just played dumb so i hope he bought it. he was like yeah as long as it was miscommunication and not me getting fucked over it's cool sdjgksdlg like what am i supposed to say to that.... yes i was trying to fuck u over u right.... got me!! 

Genuinely surprised Chloe survived after being a target for so long, makes me suspicious there might be another alliance out there, because most people told me Adrian, they might not trust me yet, hopefully voting with them helped me there.

If I’m being truly honest. This challenge is so weird that i dont think imma be able to like do iy. Might be a warzone trip for me this round and it sucks because I dont want to go. Like Adrian was someone i could have worked with but he left 6-2 and I hope it wasnt Matt who voted Cloe.

---

I got the first one in 6 clicks. I hope im able to get the rest pretty quickly but i dont know if i move from kuwait or i start from survivor again.

Part 1. I have emotional motion sickness. Somebody pls roll the windows down. I'm scared to lose Matt or Owen at this tribal. I don't see it happening but it still worries me. Ideally, Thomas leaves. Kait or Stephen leaving aren't the worst case scenarios either. Realistically, I predict Trace or Stephen. Trace.... pls survive. I'll send this confessional in two parts. Will be writing the second part later tonight. Part 2. Well. Adrian left. this is bad for my game. Is it worst case scenario? no. But Trace didn't vote him out; Matt did. Matt betrayed Adrian and Kait basically told me so. I cannot trust Matt as much as I thought I could; but maybe his allegiance is to Owen primarily as Matt sold Adrian out bc Adrian wanted to target Kait/Owen. It's hectic but Adrian was a number for my game, personally. I'll do my espionnage and try to keep tabs on what everyone is thinking. Oh, and attempt to win immunity again!

Well, last night's war zone did NOT go as I expected. I really thought that everyone was on board to vote Chloe, but I was clearly mistaken. The tribal left me a little confused, and genuinely nervous about what my fate would be if I were to return to the war zone in the near future. There are a few things that I did learn from this war zone, however. I really think that matt is kind of calling the shots over there. He seemed to be the sneakiest one, and was the one lie that kind of hurt the most. Kait claims that she thought I knew the vote was Adrian, and that is was a mistake on her part. I don't fucking buy it. Kait is clearly close with Thomas (she literally calls him Tommy), but decided that they couldn't trust me enough to tell me in the end the vote wasn't chloe. I did not appreciate that. I hate being in war zones where people who are inactive get to stay because somehow, someone figured out how to goat them to the end. I am going to do my best to stay out of the war zone this round, but this challenge is confusing so I have no idea if I even have a chance.

Im really nervous for this immunity. I hope i had a quick clicks. If not I hope im with people i can work with and not be voted out. Im anticipating a merge soon but how it works idk.

http://prntscr.com/nu7q5f what kind of false scorpio antics.......... 

Me? Safe again? Hskshdjd who woulda THOUGHT!!! I’m glad madison is finally safe I feel like the more she goes the more time she has to make connections lmao. I know she rlly wanted to be safe this time for some reason but part of me thought she had been throwing tbh so she could actually play the game which isn’t a bad strategy. I feel really bad for matt going again :( but I think he will be okay. Here’s hoping they send Stephen out please and ty!!!! In other news I still think I’ve never talked to Ian or corey which is funny af because corey could be my number one in this game. I feel like he will be loyal to me once we make it together.... I rlly just hope him and Kait don’t clash, but I’m scared af because Matt was sus about corey getting renee out and I haven’t gotten to tell corey that yet. Hopefully when the time comes I can get corey and Kait to work together and the three of us can go to the end somehow. I’m not gonna turn on Kait. I can’t turn on corey. It’s gonna be messed up if they ever start to target each other bc Kait doesn’t know I’m close with him but he knows I’m close with her nnnn

Kait thinks I'm targeting pairs, huh? Well, yes but actually no. I'm targeting pairs in the since that members of those pairs are people I don't think would work with me, I'm not targeting them for being pairs. I've got a pair in Leo I want to work with, also MY SIGN PARTNER IS STILL IN THE GAME, albeit barely. It has become abuntly clear to me that Matt does not have over lapping interests with me in this game. The man is out there spreading propaganda against me to Kait and Owen, who has never met me might I add so he sees me exactly as I see him. A threat. Kait, I thought you were warming up to me, but please keep thinking Corey is who you should confide in, he's totally not closer to me or anything.

This Warzone is really stressing me out. I don’t think I have the same allies I’m usually confident with. There’s Devon and Trace and Maynor and Chloe but I only can trust them so much because none of them are working together. I’m hoping to get out timmy or Stephen who I don’t know and don’t trust but I also know that my name certainly could be coming up soon enough because with each tribal I survive I become a bigger and bigger threat. I’m ready for some idol shenanigans if need be but I’d love to save that shit for down the road.

The names being thrown out right now are Cloe, Timmy, and Stephen. I much rather have Timmy stay because we are actually working together in this game rather than against. Stephen even tho we dont talk much there is still that connection through his game he hosted and one we played together. Getting majority on Cloe will be great because she wont get dragged to the f3 and take a spot that could be mine.

This warzone feels different. It’s an odd group and a lot of people who haven’t been together. So it’s somewhat quiet but also contentious since anything could happen at this point. Not sure how tonight will play our, should be fun....

So the vote seems to be Chloe, yet she always gets votes and it’s never her so naturally I’m weary. I think this will be the time though, especially with who is at this tribal. Trace was saying Devon had said Stephen, which I don’t want him going because he would be a good number for me. Trace also said that Matt said my name but I think he’s now on the Chloe train...I’m hoping. Either way I doubt he would have majority. I’m hoping I stay because it’s about to be merge and I think I’ve been doing well so far. I’m proud of how social I have been with people, it’s not the best, but it’s a lot better than I usually am.

It looks like the vote is locked on Cloe but still very awkwardly quiet. I hope nothing crazy goes down. *knocks on wood*

Don’t mind me just dying and having no idea what’s going on at all hahaha probs gonna be voted out next xoxox 

This better be the last Warzone, I wanna merge.

So, with little debate, I think we settled on voting Chloe. Originally, Devon and Matt wanted to vote Stephen, but I had to convince them onto Chloe because I want to make sure we have more people on our tribe than theirs so that I have a chance of winning immunity. Matt told me he heard Timmy's name which is weird. I think he was just trying to scare me. I told Timmy about it, and Timmy was upset, but I really don't think it went anywhere. Chloe came to me and told me that she would vote anyone as long as it wasn't her. I really don't trust Matt even though he keeps telling me that I can trust him, so idk. Maybe I'll flip the script at the last minute and try to get everyone Matt at the last minute, but we shall have to see if that's smart for me... idk

[moidse]

okay so life is just hard as shit. def hit a rough patch with mental health. its lowkey hard to trust myself because im stressed out and anxious af and my emotions in general are just like less stable and secure. It’s been tough as fuck tbh but i know i’ll make it through this period and i also know things are NOT as bad as they feel rn. I still have SO much going for me, like for reals. Failure is apart of the journey. yatta yatta. learning experiences lol. 

honestly, i dont know what the fuck im doing talking to k. like for real dawg, what the fuck am i doing. like they seem cool and are cute but i feel like things aren’t moving forward and like i know they are out of town so obvi we can’t hang irl but still i feel like any other person ive talked to that’s into me is more flirtatious and ... idk acts like they want me. lol. i don’t get the vibe that they like me that much or are interested in being with me which is what im pursuing rn. They come off as distant and avoidant af. i mean, we been chatting for a month now and things aren’t spicy, we’ve had no dialogue and i feel like i’ve tried multiple times to hint and it isn’t going through. I do feel like they are somewhat into me and just reserved af and/or shy or just has intimacy/ affection issues. it sucks cuz i need that shit other wise it feels like mixed signals which it lowkey does a little. like yea they said they like me and stuff but idk imma need them to step their pussy up or idk if i can continue this ldr weird blah. also lol how the fuck is e going through like the same thing rn. i feel like that often happens with pals, we are both having a similar romantic situation going on... idk also if im being real my mental health rn can’t handle whatever ~this~ is between us. like im struggling rn and i can’t really handle someone hurting me more and they aren’t very soft and affectionate and it’s odd to me and makes me feel like they aren’t into me. i suppose it would be best to just communicate my honest thoughts but i’d have to say them in a nice way. idk like.. 

That was mostly a joke, but i mean yeah, who wants their time wasted? Meaning like who wants to be strung along? I’ve definitely experienced it in the past and it’s no fun. Also, can I ask, what did you mean by saying i’d be lucky to have you email me back for 5 weeks? 

ugh communicating is so hard. i hate conflict. i hate confronting people when they hurt my feelings because i feel like it almost always doesn’t go well. communication is hard af and i feel like our society is shit at it. lol. but fr. it’s hard to be vulnerable though. i just hate feeling anxious and stressed about someone else like it almost doesn’t feel worth it and idk it’s a lot. it’s just been starting to feel less fun and like a bit a lot lately. 

it sucks cuz they are cute but there are other cute ppl.