#im still sad and disappointed about it but i hope and pray for the best.

[hellogoodbyegirl]

I just reblogged so many Rog posts and found so many others and now I'm so happy and excited I can't sleep

[fandomfantasyy]

MASSIVE WARNING FOR II 17 SPOILERS ++ INANIMATE INSANITY THEORY ++ ADAM KATZ TWITTER CODE SOLVING !!

i am holding onto way more hope than i should, however, this is a stray theory of mine that im holding onto for said hopes sake.

to those who haven't watched ii 17 yet, PLEASE keep scrolling. i mention just about everything that happened in the episode, and im basically reviewing it at the start. the episode is so much better without any spoilers!!

so, inanimate insanity 17. if you don't wanna hear me blabber on and on about the episode, scroll to the other big text. otherwise i am RANTING i need an outlet. 3:

inanimate insanity 17 was a rodeo. me and my partner had a few straggling theories before we watched it, and a few of them were true. knife did indeed punch cobs, they really did fight, everyone that heard was disappointed to find out they were made by mephone 4.

starting with the majority of the opening sequence, going from memory here, knife's desperation? ow. suitcase's new found paranoia? OW. them doing everything to find out what was wrong was so bittersweet, because you can just tell that they don't know how to stop it and are holding onto to random theories and hope.

nearing more of the middle section, i completely forgot that bow could possess people. made me giggle a bit tbh….. besides that, I HATE COBS HE MANIPULATED MY BABY, TOILET. ☹️ the admission of guilt from mephone 4, only to realize his apology could never speak loud enough almost killed me. lightbulb, fan, and test tube, all dead. the bright lights poly. when toilet told mepad that he understood it wasn't a competition anymore? and when cobs pulled off toilet and begun killing everyone? jesus christ dude (also im a little sad at the lack of extra pronunciation on "your" when paper yelled at salt saying "hes not your boyfriend" as a payjay shipper but....)

more on the end side, the fight convinced me for a damn while. it doesn't make sense to me how one single throw got knife extremely scuffed and chipped, but it's finneee, it's show logic!! :3 anygays. the main painful time. the pull of the plug, prompting toilet to call himself "the best assistant", the way knife put his hand on suitcase to comfort her, the way cobs SACRIFICED MEPHONE X??? dude this show is gonna make me go bonkers.

last but not least, "the show is over," and mephone 4 has no choice but to go back "home" with cobs. ow.

there are still so many questions. the eggs helped power everything, but were they fake? how did mephone 4 find the land he built inanimate insanity on? obviously it isn't fake, he's still sitting on it at the end of the episode. where's 3gs? what about mepad? was mepad made up? too much to answer with too little information.

overall, what a painful episode. it seems like the end, right? wrong.

inanimate insanity is not over. we are getting ii18.

at least, thats my theory. average movie length spans 1½ hours to 2½ hours. us inanimate insanity fans were told that this finale would be as long as a movie. right now, we are only at an hour. i dont remember the last time i watched a movie that was only an hour. they're out there, yes, but i doubt the creators would pray on very short movies to support their angst.

adam katz's teasing on twitter / x, saying that mephone x was after him, only for his account to be seemingly gone or empty? there's no way adam simply quit twitter because he ended his line of work. it's a thing that happens, but i dont think this is that. most of adam's characters in the show died before the plug was pulled. is that a direct reference? i don't know.

as of october 15th, adam seemingly returned to twitter, but instead as the robot from ii17. why would they bring him back suddenly, why would they make this teaser? there's no real, legitimate explanation in my eyes... other than them maybe just wanting to torture us. that, however, is not the point.

continuing on adam robot twitter thing, on his twitter / x profile / status, (idk what it's called i don't use twitter / x,) it says, "Loading a large amount of files... / Estimated wait tim: 2880 minutes, 0 seconds". that directly translates to two days. we're heavily likely to get the true final episode or the trailer of such of ii2 in 2 days.

update for the above. on october 18th, around 3pm EST, a code to decipher was posted. someone in the comments of the twitter / x post said that it was "you seek to know the true reason for such a tragic second season if you decide you want to show more there may be something to restore see .com/insert code". we, the viewers might be bringing the show back.

season one and season three's final episodes ended with a "the end". ii17 did not have this end card. this seems like a very crucial thing that they couldn't just "leave out". after all, why on the most important finale of all of the finales so far, would they leave out saying "the end"? if it's truly the end, they wouldn't leave it with a black screen and a sobbing community. (the last part, maybe, but not the first part.....)

both season one ended with 18 episodes, and season three ended with 19 episodes. season two seems to almost be ending on episode 17. this could go either way, with season two ending with a pattern of 17-18-19, OR, if we're really lucky, 18-19-20. (or we just get an extra 18 or smth idk)

there is a reason why this is only a stray theory of mine. only 6 days before the release of ii17, adam katz and brian koch were saying their thank you's and goodbye's to the inanimate insanity community. it feels like the end of this show is near, if not sadly over now.

overall, i still have hope. but this wont be clear until we either see a ii18 trailer or we dont. i will regularly update this with new information as it gets found by me and my partner. goodbye for now, inanimate insanity community, and good luck.

robot adam's twitter saga.

adam katz's teasing on twitter / x, saying that mephone x was after him, only for his account to be seemingly gone or empty? there's no way adam simply quit twitter because he ended his line of work. it's a thing that happens, but i dont think this is that. most of adam's characters in the show died before the plug was pulled. is that a direct reference? i don't know.

as of october 15th, adam seemingly returned to twitter, but instead as the robot from ii17. why would they bring him back suddenly, why would they make this teaser? there's no real, legitimate explanation in my eyes... other than them maybe just wanting to torture us. that, however, is not the point.

continuing on adam robot twitter thing, on his twitter / x profile / status, (idk what it's called i don't use twitter / x,) it says, "Loading a large amount of files... / Estimated wait tim: 2880 minutes, 0 seconds". that directly translates to two days. we're heavily likely to get the true final episode or the trailer of such of ii2 in 2 days.

update for the above. on october 18th, around 3pm EST, a code to decipher was posted. someone in the comments of the twitter / x post said that it was "you seek to know the true reason for such a tragic second season if you decide you want to show more there may be something to restore see .com/insert code". (credits to @\NickleBFDIA2012 on twitter/x !!) we, the viewers might be bringing the show back.

connecting to that, more hints have already been found. there was a code on cabby's wiki that is decoded to “You want the second key word? These pages are your answer. Next, go to the three time player with the lowest average placement." (credits to @\MeesterTweester on twitter/x !!) this brought the fandom to nickel (i believe), and im not quite sure what it says.

however, i do know one thing. it's been solved, and my theory was proven true.

we will be getting episode 18 of inanimate insanity by late november.

[allamericanb-tch]

philippines recap !!

@vbbaby-girl still no pics yet. also hoping and praying no one from my trip sees this because multiple people told me i seemed like i was like batman (in the sense that i am leading a secret double life) and i don’t need them finding this blog

stuff we did:

13 hour flight, then a 3 hour flight (they took our phones before we left but the plane had little tv’s so it was okay) (watched la la land, played plants vs zombies, journaled, read the secret history, talked to the guy (also on the trip) who sat next to me, slept a bit, and didn’t get up once.)

we skipped wednesday basically

met my twin (sat by him on both plane rides actually) (literally he looked exactly like me. it was so strange.)

went to the beach (SO FUN. except, there were sea urchins. i only saw one and it was already dead.) (we also played ultimate football. it was fun but also scary because i was worried about sea urchins.)

swam with whale sharks (not in captivity guys i’m not a monster) (it was scary but also cool. i am actually terrified of fish. but it was cool.) (the boat we took was like the ones in moana)

went zip lining (SO FUN so beautiful)

saw tarsiers (so creepy. so off putting. yet so cute? their hands were so.. human. but mini. it was so creepy. but cool.)

saw the chocolate hills (they looked like regular hills. i thought we were getting chocolate there and we did not. disappointing but  also it was cool.)

went snorkeling (took another moana boat and the shorts i was wearing got SOAKED) (me and my cousin and one other girl on the trip were together and taken away really far from the rest of the group so we lowkey thought we were getting kidnapped) (part of our group came by us a little bit later and we were in fact not kidnapped and actually had the coolest guide ever. most of the guides wouldn’t let you take pictures of the fish and turtles and stuff but our guide took my cousin’s gopro and got AMAZING pictures.) (i had a wee panic attack bc fish are literally my biggest fear and there were SO MANY FISH. it was okay though.)

had the weirdest dream. (the words directly from my journal: “i was at a gas station and this lady got in my car and threatened me with a knife and i drove us to this warehouse where this massive guy and his kid were. then i woke up.” it was so weird and lowkey scary.)

worksite! moved a bunch of chairs and desk and stuff to the basement. so many spiders. so many cockroaches. also moved a lot of trash. so many spiders. we also bended rebarb, mixed cement, chiseled, and painted a mural. lowkey we did nothing except like odd jobs on the site. fun but like. meh. (most of the time we spent was at the worksite. 9 am to 4 pm monday-friday.)

had another crazy dream. “i was with [cousin] and [1] (the same 1 in the later story) and i left and went to this rinky dink circus. it was a big concrete pit with painted horses. then one of the horses got out and started running at us. i was freaking out and i was getting out of the way and pushed 1 off the circus pit thing and she fell down the stairs and her face got all busted up.” so basically i almost killed her in my dream.

canyoneering!!! so cool. so fun. lowkey scary, but i did all the cliff jumps and the rope swing.

mall! so fun.

free time!!!! it was so needed. a chill day that was not planned but the best day ever.

had another CRAZY dream. i was basically reading a fan fiction about me and my friend who i used to have a crush on.

saw an overview of the city. so beautiful.

had one last fun night with the locals. so sad but did lots of fun things. 

had a meeting with my trip leaders. they got me ice cream.

fun goodbye ceremony at the school (the worksite) 

food:

- we ate two meals on the plane. what meals those were? i have no idea. it was lowkey nasty and i did not eat it. also, im only writing down the meals i wrote down. i also mixed up the order so much in my journaling so it doesn’t really match up with the days.

dinner: pizza with mango and parmesan cheese. it was weird but good. mostly good.

breakfast: toast (untoasted bread), egg-beans (gross. i don’t know why i ate it. i hate eggs and beans.), mango (AMAZING. the mangoes in the philippines were the best ever.), and sausage (yummy)

lunch: floating restaurant (a boat) buffet. i do not remember what it was and i did not write it down :( OH WAIT this was the peppers!! we had these super tiny peppers and they were SO SPICY and we took a couple back with us and snuck them into each others pockets.)

breakfast: (we had a snack instead of breakfast because we ate breakfast at the snorkeling place) mango juice, this cake thing, and fake oreos

brunch: fried eggs (i gave mine away since i don’t like eggs), rice, chicken adobo, watermelon, and cucumbers

lunch: family style. lowkey i forgot what we had. we also got ice cream! but my stummy was hurting so i didn’t have any.

breakfast: pancakes (i put nutella on mine) with fruit cocktail

lunch: rice and this tomato chicken with pineapple

dinner: the most DELICIOUS potatoes i’ve ever eaten and chicken and rice 

lunch: chicken adobo and rice

dinner: spaghetti

second dinner: we were at a members house and had dinner there too. we had pasta with a creamy sauce, pizza, and this filipino drink thing. it was cream with mangoes and green jello. it lowkey made my stummy hurt but it was SO GOOD

breakfast: waffles (with nutella)

breakfast: eggs (did not eat), hash browns, and grapes

lunch: rice, orange chicken, and pineapple. (SO GOOD. top 3 meals.)

breakfast/lunch/dinner: i only ate crackers because i was sick oops

breakfast: nutella sandwich. so yummy. mango juice, but it was lowkey bad. 

snack: granola bar thing. so yummy. also this fried banana thing. so yummy. 

lunch: vegetable rice and grilled chicken. i only ate the rice.

dinner: mall stromboli. so good. 

breakfast: hash browns, eggs (did not eat) bacon, grapes.

lunch: chicken, rice, and the delicious potatoes.

breakfast: chicken nuggets (did not eat), pancakes, and mangoes. i put nutella on my pancakes of course.

lunch: rice, rice noodles, orange chicken, and oranges

ice cream! so yummy. i got strawberry.

dinner: spaghetti with chicken parm

had the most delicious chocolate cookies. 

breakfast: hot ham and cheese with oranges

lunch: rice and beef stroganoff 

dinner: tacos (i slept through this and lowkey i was so sad about it)

breakfast: waffles (with nutella) and mangoes and one pop tart

lunch: sweet n sour pork, rice, rice noodles, and cinnamon rolls. SO GOOD

dinner: chicken, rice, and rice noodles 

breakfast: french toast and mangoes

lunch: this one i wrote so much about. “holy moly i just had the most scrumptious meal i have ever eaten. we had rice, potatoes, pasta salad, this fried meat thing, and red velvet cake.” and then i wrote about how delicious it was.

dinner: pizza and fries. then we got ice cream and cake for a birthday.

bonus things

so many bug bites.

was so sick for 5 ish days

got my ears pierced at the mall for 250 pesos with all but two of the girls in my group (the company office called all of our parents because it is “against the rules” even though there was no official rule (we checked) and the trip leaders both knew and were okay with it)

cried on my cousins shoulder and she thought i was drooling on her (i was sick, literally so nauseous, but i still was at the evening activity (going to a basilica and then going to get halohalo (which i did not eat because i was so nauseous. this was the day i only ate crackers.) because i didn’t want to be left out again because we were pushing day 4 of me being sick at home.) and i felt SO sick and i felt like no one really wanted to be around me and everyone was getting close without me and like i was just on the outside of everything. we were on the bus and i was laying on her shoulder and then i was crying and my tears were rolling down my face onto her shoulder and she thought i was asleep and drooling on her.

learned 2 card tricks

filled up 44 pages in my journal (so far.. i haven’t done today yet.)

did karaoke (love story) (with 4 other people)

played a filipino game (we passed a spoon and a fork around and said “this is a spoon/fork” and “ah spoon/fork” and if you messed up or had both at the same time you had to do a talent)

played john the baptist (the person in the middle had a cup of water and a spoon and was thinking of something in a category. everyone in the circle had to say a thing from the category and if they said what the middle person was thinking of or repeated something that was already said they got water poured on them and became the new middle person) 

made a list of all the foods i won’t eat (will share later upon request)

“[name] is a quiet girl with strong opinions. such as her love for taylor swift and dislike of many foods.” (we did a spotlight every day and at the end of the day we went around in a circle and said what we like about them. one guy wrote a little paragraph for each person and that was the first thing he said about me. i did in fact cry, but it was when i was saying what i like about the other spotlights.)

we couldn’t flush the toilet paper. i am not used to flushing it now.

we also couldn’t use the tap water to rinse our toothbrush. it feels weird to do it now.

left someone at home (the drive was an hour because of traffic and then we realized we forgot him. the drive back was only 15 minutes.) (we are always supposed to be in a group of three and we left him by himself at home. it was so silly because the guy we left behind was high key everyone’s favorite person in the group.)

tried balut! it wasn’t bad. i was lowkey terrified to eat it but i ate the whole thing. the soup just tasted like chicken broth and the duck tasted like a bite of chicken and the egg tasted like a hard boiled egg. all of it with no flavor except salt really. not bad but mostly likely would not eat again. 

strap in for this story guys. so this girl (1) shared a room with this other girl (2). 1 had seen this towel in the bathroom and had been wiping her butt on it after showering or using the bidet (they ran out of toilet paper a lot) or whatever. so basically 1 had been wiping her but with this towel for three days. THEN 1 sees 2 wiping her face with the towel. as it turns out, the towel is 2’s face towel. 1 steals the towel and hides it in another group of girl’s room. 2 has no idea where the face towel went and has no idea that it was being used to wipe 1’s butt for three days. 1 tells everyone in the group (including the trip leaders and trip parents) so we ALL know except 2. then a few days later, the girls are all together in one room and the boys are all together in another. the adults are all having a meeting. the boys pass the girls a note under the door saying “pooker is coming” and the girls respond “do you want the towel” and the boys respond “yes”. so, they take the towel and throw it in the boys room. the towel lands on the pillow of the trip dad. he finds out and is PISSED. he strips all the sheets with everything on them off of the bed and leaves them in the living room. the sheets and towel end up in my closet and were still there when we left at the end of the trip. 

i haven’t pooped in like 5 days

passed around my copy of the outsiders between 4 people (they each finished it completely on the trip)

had the most delicious strawberry oreos. i have thought about them every day. 

pillows!!! my favorite filipino snack. my love. my everything.

so many mango flavored things.

everyone was so friendly. they always waved at us and smiled at us. one time i was on the bus and we were stopped for a bit because of traffic and i played rock paper scissors through the window with a filipino kid on a different bus.

used a bidet for the first time. lowkey scary and did not feel like i was clean. but there was no toilet paper. 

went to church for 5 hours 

counted how many times my trip leader said “like” during one sitting (84)

did the cube ladder field test. i think i messed it up lowkey. 

took so many naps. (i am not a napper ever)

played 4 kings. so fun. so basically each king is a dare. you decide the dares before the game starts. each card is spread out on the table and everyone takes turns picking the cards. the other cards decide who picks and there’s like mini games and stuff. so fun. 

was deemed the third flattest person in the group (i mean. it was true.)

had a super in depth conversation about harry potter lore with my trip leader

for some reason i could not wash my hair. the back was greasy every day. 

all the girls did nightly debriefs.

lived the same day twice. my flight landed two hours before it left because of the time difference, so we time traveled basically.

SO MUCH MORE STUFF HAPPENED but i can’t write it all out

[abukhal14]

Looking back, it was probably one of the happiest moment of my teenage-adult life. Even though yall showed me that yall didnt gave a fuck about me since the start, ive always wanted to be a part of the group. Maybe ive never felt a sense of belonging before but i guess i grow up slower than normal people do to know that what we had wasnt it.

I know i never respected your boundaries and personal space but given the fact that the rest did it too left me clueless. The way you were aggressive with only me is bullshit and maybe i was the only one who you could vent out your pent up anger to. I know I havent been nice to you and i realised it way back but i guess why i did it was purely because it was fun. If only u knew the amount of times u were the topic and how people you gravitate towards to talked shit about you passionately would be disappointing for you. All the shit talking that they do and im always the one defending your name. Im proud of you the most for achieving what you secretly wanted. In all honesty, have a backbone of your own and stick up for yourself.

We go way back and out of everyone, im disappointed in you the most. We've been through alot together but you switching up on me is crazy just because you feel like he has more to offer than what i have to offer. Being opportunistic when it comes to work/school is great but doing that to our friendship is out of pocket. You love putting our friendship on the line multiple times over minute things but act like things never happened. It bothers me how u hate when injustice is happening to you but when the same injustice is happening to others, you act like its nothing. I hope you blossom in life and achieve all your goals and dreams and build a wonderful family like you wanted.

To be honest, i have no issues with you but i havent been the best of friend towards you especially how i tested your patience to your limit. You are probably the most matured but nobody is going to see it the way i do. I truly believe people who has unfortunate background have amazing mind. If there is a thing i could tell you, do things for yourself and never to prove to others that you have something to offer. Friendship is seen when you have nothing to offer and they would still do it for you genuinely.

You are the worst ever. Manipulating your own friend because you feel like are the alpha. That itself is a problem because you see yourself as an alpha. I saw through you but ive never open my mouth to talk shit about you. Nah, maybe i did. You do things to others but when the same things is done to you. You purposely fuck up the mood by getting upset and become the child who throws a tantrum and make sures everyone notice so that way, everyone would know i was the cause of the mood change. Ive been nice enough to you hoping ud change for the longest of time but i guess u become worst. The same people who you "treasure" are the same people you talk the most shit about. Ill pray for you to be a better person and i hope you keep achieving what you want in life.

I know im not perfect, i have my flaws too but im always thinking for all of yall but its never appreciated. I would have given up everything for yall even my last dollar but yall would fuck me over. Im honestly sad that i chose to leave but i feel like its the only way for me to get my peace that ive longed for. Im glad that we happen but ill pray from afar and i hope that ill be the last to break away and for yall keep the friendship strong and have each other to depend on. Thankful for the memories we created together but now i know i cannot trust nobody, i can just hope people dont fuck me over.

[archivesofjules]

Bury me in a Garden of Peonies (draft)

Is it weird or just sad that if there is a chance that If I die young I wanted things o to finally go on my own terms? I’ve been compliant all my life and for once I wanted my burial to be my own. So as crazy as this sounds, to whoever finds this account of mine listen up. Here are my conditions once I go to the other side:

1. I want everything to be white. The dress I get to wear should be with long and the sleeves (long) should be in chiffon (?) lol idk what it’s name it as long as its soft. My shoes I wanted it to be glass slippers/sandals/heels because I want to feel like a princess. I want my make up to be as simple as possible (korean style) and please please please make sure that my acne is concealed! I’ve been insecure about them my whole life that when I pass I wanted to feel pretty. For the hair, I want to show my real curves. my wavy hair...

2. I want my wake to be only 5 days... I know everyone is busy so let’s just make it quick and easy for everyone. I don’t want to be a nuisance.

3. I want my best friends (Cy and Mazhie) to share to everyone what kind of person I am. Sila kasi ang nakaka alam ng mga deepest thoughts ko. How scared and anxious I am all the time. How much I care about the people around me and how much of a people pleaser I am. as much as I dgaf there is still a part of me who wants to be accepted, who wants to be admired. How much I don’t want to disappoint a lot of people to the point I would sacrifice even my own happiness for the people I care for. Matapang ako at malakas but deep inside I know one small push my heart shatters every damn time. It was not easy for me to show weakness, emotions and pain but not a lot of people know how scared I am. Sometimes I show nonchalance as my form of defense mechanism, kasi natatakot talaga ako.

4. Jai. my lil brother. I am sorry for not loving you as much as our parents wanted me to love you. But I want you to know that Ate cares for you so much. I am sorry for not being showy and awkward for most of the time but I want you to know that there was never a day that I didn’t pray to the Lord how much I wanted Him to heal you, no matter how impossible it is I am still praying for you and our family. Casey i’m sorry but it looks like you and pia will be the Ate from now own. Please wag niyo pababayaan si Jai and your Kuya Pjay and Dannie.

5. Mommy and Daddy. I am sorry. I am sorry for leaving so soon. I love you both so much. I have fought hard. I tried. But I guess I wanted to meet Ate Yana as well. I want you guys to know that I have always wanted to have a love like yours. I hope to have a person to love like you dad. You have always been my ideal guy. One of my most precious memory in my entire life was you fetching me everyday at school and you lying next to me telling me the best bedtime stories. It was not the fairytale ones but my favorite will always be “ANg pamilya ISmid” and “Ang Planeta Pakaskas”. Mommy, I know aso’t pusa tayo lagi pero ikaw ang isa sa mga reason kung bakit ako nagpupursigi. kasi gusto ko iparanas lahat ng mga ipinagkait sayo nung kabataan mo. Gusto ko ako ang magbibigay nun sayo kasi sobra kitang mahal at deserve mo lahat ng iyon. Im sorry if I disappoint you all the time and for not meeting your standards but I am trying and I want you to understand that I am my own person too. I am not you. You were the bond that glued our family together. I hope to be as strong as you. Nakita ko kung pano ka nagpaka tatag para sa pamilya mo kaya kahit na maaga nawala sayo si mama hinding hindi ka sumuko.

6. Music. I don’t want a dry funeral. I want one that would make everyone happy. I would probably make a playlist of all the songs that I want to be played at my wake and at my funeral. Dear friends just check my spotify account for the playlist.

7. I’ve always wanted to be reincarnated as the wind in my next life, bacause I wanted to be free. I wanted to be buried on a windy day, not too cold, not too humid, but a windy one. And instead of the usual butterflies and balloons (kalat lang) I want bubbles on my funeral, and I want everyone to have paper windmills. I want them to take it home after the funeral, so that whenever they are having a hard time and that windmill spins, I want them to feel that I am with them in spirit and I would always be there to guide them and support them.

8. My dearest Loey, If I leave you earlier I want you to know that you’ve been my comfort ever since. You know when momma is having a hard time and you never left me when I’m having anxiety attacks. If my parents can’t take care of him, Cy and Cj, please take him and take good care of my child...

9. tbc

[tremmett-19]

Here is a tremmett fanfic... sorry if it’s bad this is my first one!

travis knew something was up. all day he’s been noticing that emmett has been down. From the way travis said good morning and only got answered with a grunt, to emmett turning down going to joes with the usual crew. Travis knew that emmett was not okay yet gave emmett some space until emmett felt like he was ready to talk- or emmett just was hangry the whole day and Travis has dealt with a hangry emmett a lot yet this was different.

emmett knew this day would be hard. Very hard. Today was the day that his mum died. all those years ago an eight year old emmett sat in hospital one hand around his cuddly rabbit and the other round his mum‘s cold hand. he didn’t want to burden Travis with his grief, he thought it might bring stuff about Michael back. But the two people who knew about this day was his dad and his best friend Alicia- but of course he couldn’t go to either of them! so emmett just tried to get through the day- but as the day went on the memories all came back. Especially when he was working with crisis one and he had to go see a cancer patient who had mental health issue- and had to go to hospital. The cancer, the hospital, dealing with sad kids- yeah that brought up memories. after his shift he went home, Travis was at joes with the others so emmett knew he was the only one home, so he decided to whip out his box from his side of the wardrobe in his and Travis’ bedroom. inside the box were letters, photos and objects all about his mum. he picked up the first picture and it showed just him and his mum in a field full of daisies, him and his mum both had paint all over their faces. he could remember that day so vividly, just him and his mum painting. it was a week before they got her diagnosis, the last time he felt her being really happy.

when Travis came home the house was eerily quiet. Theo and vic were still at the bar with the others but Travis decided to come home to check on emmett. Travis went upstairs to find out where his boyfriend was. He found him lying in bed with the photos, letters and objects scattered all over the bed and emmett with tear stained marks on his face, curled up and softly snoring. Travis at first smiled and stroked emmetts hair but just as he was moving the pictures of the bed so he could fit next to emmett- he figured out why emmett was so upset all day- his mum. Just as Travis was packing away the things, emmett‘s eyes shifted and locked in on Travis‘ face. Emmett knew that Travis knew. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you” emmetts voice whimpered. “it’s okay- I just want you to know that you can tell me anything”. emmett smiled softly and Travis snuggled right next to him and within minutes both of them were asleep.

emmett woke up with his heart pounding out of his chest. He sat up hoping that could help him breathe more, but it didn’t help. His cold feet were placed on the floor and emmett stood up and went to the bathroom praying that Travis wouldn’t wake up. Emmett looked in the mirror and craved for more closure about his mum-so he went searching for a person who knew about his pain- his dad.

as emmett was driving to his dads house, he kept imagining the last encounter he had with his father. “You’re a freak” “you’re not my son” “you broke Alicia’s heart and mine” “I never want to see you again” “disappointment” all the words that echoed around his head, his fathers words. Emmett parked the car and took a deep breathe. why is he doing this? He keeps asking the same question but he opened the car door and ran to the porch. *knock knock* no turning back now…

travis woke up with a yawn. He turned round to cuddle up to emmett only to find the sheets cold and empty. Travis’ mind only thought the worst. Where had he gone?

DID U LIKE IT? IM GONNA DO A PART TWO TMRW!!! also sorry I spelt mum wrong for you guys I’m British 😂 hope you liked It and stay tuned for emmett and his dads big showdown!!

[tokyokookmin]

Hi, I need your help :( I had depression and anxiety for about a month, because of that I can not force myself or just push myself to attend our online classes. I do not attended those days because I really can't. I feel empty, drained, lost, uneasy, nervous and afraid of tomorrow, and these feelings are slowly eating me. I can't think of anything to do, and the projects or modules aren't helping, so I deactivated all of my account thinking that it will be a great help for me to breathe and to reflect. To find my happiness. But till now, I still can't find it. I don't really know what to do and I know that our semester will end in a week thus I reactivated my accout to grasp infos what happened on all of the days that I'm absent and I found out that all of my teachers are about to start to compute our grades. And here I am, haven't done anything. I don't want to have a failing grades😭😭😭 What should I do? What should I tell to my teachers beside from the depression that I am still experiencing for them to not give me a failing grades and a chance to pass my pending requirements? What reason should I give to them about why I did not attend our class or why I will just pass my papers or projects on this upcoming Tuesday or Wednesday? I really can't tell them the reason why, especially since I am still not healed, and my mind is still not working properly. Please help me, what should I suppose to tell? I am scared of disappointment. I am afraid of rejections. I am afraid of failing grades. I am afraid of everything. I am scared of my parents when they found out about this. I feel sorry for them. Please. Please, help me🥺😟😟

I am a Senior Highschool student, specifically grade 12. Please, help me. I'm really scared, I don't know what to do😢😔

Hi anon ❤️ oh my, my heart sanked when I was reading this 🥺 This is so sad ☹️.

First of all, I just wanted to assure you that everything is fine, it's going to be okay. The lockdown for the past 2 years has definitely took a toll on almost everyone. Especially being a student and having to join daily online classes, staring at a screen, it does feel unmotivating. It isn't only you who is suffering from this this condition, many are. Take a deep breath and tell yourself that you are witty, brave and courageous 🤍 it helps, trust me!

You are in 12th grade and you have and still are going through your depression and anxiety. You have been assigned to plenty of homeworks, modules and projects which you didn't finish I suppose. Depression and anxiety is a common issue in almost every teen during that era of theirs. Teachers may not or may excuse you. But since these past two years, online classes has been conducted and I'm so sure that many teachers are aware that it isn't effective as face to face classes.

Therefore, I suggest you to talk about your condition to your school counselor, class teacher or any teacher that you are comfortable with sharing private information. Do share your condition with your parents first, tell it your mom, there's nobody else who you can trust the most other than your own mother. Not even your bestest friend. I beg you to not reveal these sorts of things towards any of your classmates. People take advantage of things, remember that! I'm only advising for your best 🤍

It's time to step anon, no matter how much you don't feel up to it, do it and finish it. Try to complete all of the assignments which you think are the most important. Then complete the rest. Ask for a date of extension, I'm sure your teachers will agree to it! Ask for help from your parents to complete it, ask your siblings and get information from Google. I'm sure you can do it! Pull all nighters if you're up to it but you know your mind and body well so it's okay, sleep is necessary for us!b

I'm giving you lots of hope and I pray for good results! I love you so much, please don't be sad and I want to see you happier! Im really grateful that you chose my blog as a safe corner to reveal what your going through. Love you lots 💜💜 .xx

[echtowrite]

last letter for my former lover

Writing is difficult for me nowadays..

 As I am writing now, I am thinking of everything we both went through.. life, we struggle a lot. We’ve been through difficulty together, sometimes it built us but most time it shattered us. Those years were quite fun... fun is just understatement for everything that happened in the relationship. Im not wondering anymore why you did what u did, I just stopped asking for reasons, cause I know, part of the problem was me, and I couldn’t accept the fact that you use me for you to gain something… you wrecked everything I built… looking how happy you are the moment, how victorious you felt after taking advantage of my naïve side, I still think about how you manage to do all of that… Still not feeling remorseful of the things that u did, I dunno why.

I lost count of all times I did everything for u, just realize you’ve been taking advantage of me by manipulating me, I was stunned thinking about it now, out from the relationship we both shared, made me understand all your actions and all the things you asked and you did, I was really lost thinking about it, I trusted you enough for me to share my all. You give me ounce of trauma and im living with it, day by day. It was hard to meet new people and be with new person after all that happened to us. You are my living nightmare and I cant escape you.. I just cant.. im trying day by day, gaining myself back, but there are hard days, its when u just came in form of memory, and drown me to my worries and scared my every being, such a poisonous venom you had inflicted in my good times, cant look at it the same anymore..

I guess I would write it hours and hours.. digesting all of the bullshits..

U know I write to ease the pain, sharing all I went through to all of my trusted friend isn’t enough… u know I write to let it all out.. ive been trying not to, it has  been a month and I vent it out to my friends, all the frustrations, the questions, the disappointment, the pain, the struggle to just accept it all. I went blank for the mean time. I got issues to clear, got mentally unstable because of it, need a breather to calm myself, got triggered for small instances, I was so lost and bind to all that u did to me.. no word can describe how difficult it is for me day by day.. how it affected my friends and my family. My coping mechanism wasn’t working, it worsen my mental state and my being..

I’m not praying for u to feel guilty of this all, I’m not even praying for u to feel, somehow, of what I feel. I stopped reacting to all the things that you cause me pain.. I stopped talking about u and stopped hearing all your whereabouts. U know, this is the hardest of all the pain you given me.. seeing how happy u are now, and here I am, lost.. in agony.. Devouring from all the sadness my heart is aching.. I just hope u wouldn’t feel this… I just hope that what u have now, is the best for u..

It might took me years to gain myself back, but I guess I’ll be fine.. im writing now to let u know that im over u.. and I will never be the same person again.. I will never be the same confidante that u had before. I will never be the same strong, willful and empowered person I am before.. I will be trying things out from my comfort zone.. I’ll be better without u day by day.. I hope this wont haunt u… best luck to life..

[words-for-holland]

Quarantine Series: Birthday Date Night

Summary: It’s Y/N’s birthday, but Tom faces a slight problem. How does a boyfriend top off an accidental proposal while his girlfriend is working on her birthday...again!

Check the Rest: Burnt Out | A New Look | Secret Cuts & Kisses | Breaking Friendships |The Birthday Week | Movie Night | Silence is Golden?

Masterlist

A/N: Sad to say that Quarantine Series may end real soon with 3 more parts to go 🥺. Also this was inspired by my birthday which just happened fairly recently! Thanks for all the support!!

“Tom, mate. You’re pacing back and forth is making me dizzy.” Harry warned Tom, as he lied down on his bed, laptop in hand.

“Sorry, but I don’t know what to do! Y/N’s birthday is in a few days and I have absolutely no plan.” Tom reasoned as he plops on the couch across from Harry. “I mean I already blew the proposal which was supposed to be her birthday gift, but thats gone to shit.” He mumbled, biting his thumbnail.

“Just be happy she said yes.” Harry chuckled as he recalled the day. “I mean has she given any hints? You know Y/N, if there’s something she really wants, she’ll tell the whole world.”

“I know, but she hasn’t said a word and everytime I do ask her, she says ‘I dont know.’”, Tom groans as he rubs his temples. “I just want to do something really nice for her.”

Harry rolls his eyes as he continues shopping for his gift for Y/N. He and Y/N always loved to share memes and compete in board games, so it was only fair he’d get her an exclusive edition of Exploding Kittens. The one with a hard cover box, that plays mariachi music when you open it up. To be fair, he also really wanted it too, so imagine all the rounds they could play in a single day. “You always say this every year, but ever year you always deliver. I don’t know what you’re so worried about.”

Tom sits still to ponder on his brother thoughts. “Yeah..Yeah I guess. Maybe I could take her out for a picnic lunch date. I know she’ll love to get out of the house. I’ll ask her to take off on Friday and it’ll be perfect!” He plans excitedly. He stands up, proud of his well thought out plan, already thinking of the perfect place to settle, the blankets to bring, and the smooth moves he’ll plan to swoon her away. It was completely foolproof.

Just two days before, Y/N displays a noticeable frown on her face. Sludging through the house, only made Tom drop his smile twice as fast when he noticed. “Hey, darling is everything all right?” He asked with worry written all over his face. Deep down, Tom prayed, hoping it was just something she liked was sold out or that she found out the ending of Hamiliton or something..anything but...

“My boss needs me to work Friday. Apparently they think it’s a great idea to put me as the President in charge of IT while he’s out.” Y/N says in a disappointing tone. “Im sorry, I know you wanted me to take off and I definitely wanted to for my birthday, but I guess it’s not happening.” Y/N’s heart feels heavy as she sees Tom’s equally disappointed face. “I did ask for Monday off, so whatever it is you planned we can do it then!” She mentioned, trying to cheer him up.

Tom let out a sadden sigh. He knew it wasn’t her fault, but of all days? Right when he was about to leave for Berlin in less than 4 days? Right when he and Y/N could spend another birthday together? At this point Tom felt like a hopeless man, as he stood in front of his girlfriend, who showed remorse and sorrow. Her long hair draped over her shoulders, and lips forming into that adorable pout that he could not resist. It almost made him smile, but only a little. “I know, but its not the same! You’re turning 24 and you have to work? Can’t you make some excuse?” He asks coming closer to her, smiling mischieviously.

Y/N’s brows knit together as she cautiously observes Tom’s behavior. She knew that look, that smile, that little bite lip he was pulling. “Oh no. No. No. No.” she says repeatedly, resisting the charm. “Im not gonna make some excuse.”

Tom comes even closer, his face bending down a little to meet her eye level, smiling as he runs the very tips of fingers on her sides. “C’mon darling, break the rules a little. I promise I’ll make it worth your while.” He whispers kissing down her neck. “Please?”

Y/N looks up and away from those deep brown eyes, still resisting. “Tom, you know I can’t, no matter how bad I want to say yes.”

Tom draws a line up to her jawline with the tip of his nose. His breath warm against her soft skin. He hums and smiles, “Is your boss a fan of spiderman? What about his kids? I for sure remember you telling me Zach was a huge fan.”

Y/N laughs as she rolls her eyes, but she found it so endearing. The fact that he even remembered your boss’ kids’ name even though he’s probably caught a glimpse of them once or twice during her zoom meetings. “No. You are most definitely not using your celeb status to get me off from work.”

Tom shrugs his shoulders, as if it weren’t a big deal. He wasn’t one for flaunting his fame, but if it meant he could spend another day with Y/N, he would gladly use it. “Please...” he pleads one more time. “Just wanna spend time with my girl on her special day.”

Y/N thinks about it. She really did want to take off, and Tom’s efforts were quite convincing to say the least. It was only a matter of time before Tom would have to leave for Berlin, and Y/N wanted nothing more than to spend every minute with him. But Y/N also knew that if she didn’t do as she was asked by her company, the higher ups would probably have a bad impression of her or worse...fire her on the spot. Yet she knew her boss was also an understandable and chill guy. It wasn’t like she couldnt take off, just not when he’d be out at the same time, especially when she was asked to be in charge of the entire department.

Then, it hit her. She quickly excused herself out of the room to talk to her boss, and quickly came back to Tom with a smile on her face. Tom loved the way she smiled, and how her one little dimple formed on the right side of her mouth. He knew she was really happy, and he had just an idea of what it was. “You got the day off.” He answered excitedly.

“No.” Y/N responded, “But I did ask for half a day, so I’ll be free after 12.” Y/N continues as she comes closer to Tom, wrapping her hangs around his neck. “Hows that for a compromise? And I’ll do anything you wanna do for the rest of the day.”

“Good because you’re gonna love what I have in store for you.” Tom says, almost ready to brag about his well thought out romantic plan. He was ready to treat her like the queen she was on her birthday. How could anything go wrong?

On that faithful Friday, Tom woke up Y/N to many many birthday kisses. Reciting how beautiful she was, and how he couldn’t wait to celebrate with her. Reluctantly he had to let go, as she padded her way to the bathroom to get ready and head into her makeshift office for the next 5 hours.

Tom was all smiles, excited to take Y/N out. While everything felt like it was going according to plan, his mates had other news. “Ninety percent of thunderstorms?!” Tom exclaimed to his best mates in the kitchen.

“Yeah, it’s gonna be a major storm out there. Probably the worse that London’s had in a while.” Tuwaine informs as he reads the news on his phone.

Tom became a stuttering mess not sure how to justify or ask how that could be possible when it was beautiful this entire week. “But...But...It’s so nice out now!” He says discouraged. “No, this ruins my entire plan.”

“Hey mate, dont be like that. You can still find a way to celebrate it. Maybe you can do something romantic inside?” Harrison offers. Thats when it clicked. Harrison smiles, knowning the answer to Tom’s problem. “Yeah..make a date night here. We can set up the living room to be all fancy like.”

“Yeah! Tuwaine Harrison and I can be your waiters and make your dinner. Then just leave you two alone to do whatever you want you want.” Harry suggests.

“Just please...don’t mess up the couch.” Tuwaine groans, thinking about the potential possibity. “Im getting grossed out just thinking about it.”

Tom looks at his mates, giving thought into the new back up plan. He smiles at the group saying , “Lads, I think we got a new plan.”

Its exactly three in the afternoon when Y/N logs off from her laptop. She looks up at the window to notice how dark and dreary it was outside. Thunder was booming, and rain droplets came down hard, splashing off the window. It was her favorite kind of stay-in weather, but she hoped it didnt interfere with Tom’s plans if they had anything to do with being outside. As she opened the door, Harry and Tuwaine greeted Y/N with their own gifts and hugs. They made sure, she got dressed up, and led her downstairs. “M’Lady, your fiance will be right out.” Harry says in the most posh accent he could muck up.

Y/N rolls her eyes, and the moment she sees Tom walk into the living room, her heart skipped a beat. He dressed up with a bouquet of flowers and balloons in his hand. “Happy birthday, sweetheart.” He says. “You look so beautiful.”

Y/N takes the gifts from his hands, placing them on the table. She runs to Tom, kissing him passionately, savoring the sparks that came and left with every push and pull of their soft lips. “You had plans to go outside for my birthday didn’t you?” She teases.

Tom laughs, as he throws his head back. “Yeah...I was planning a picnic and everything, but thats why I made sure Plan B would just be as romantic.” He takes her hand as they sit down at the candlelit table, eating, drinking , and talking away about anything and everything. When it was sometime Harrison, Harry, and Tuwaine brought out a cake that Y/N had only been fantasizing and drooling about since May.

“No way! How did you guys order it?! I thought they didn’t do international shipping for Milk Bar!” Y/N exclaimed.

“Actually..they didn’t. But the recipe was online and we made it ourselves, with Sam’s help of course.” Harry answered, as he placed the candles in the center.

Her jaw dropped for a good ten minutes as she looked at the rainbow sprinkled cake, and the fluffy white frosting that sit perfectly in-between the layers. The crumbs on top were surprisingly uniformed and formed a perfect circle border, she was very impressed with them. Harrison lit the candles as all the boys sang along...off key of course with hints of laughter coming off every other note. Tom moved to her side, placing his arm around the back of her chair and leaned in to place a soft kiss on the top of her head. “Make a wish darling.”

Y/N looked up to see her favorite people in the entire world, smiling. “I dont need to. Everything I could possibly want is right here.” Y/N quickly blew the candles out and everyone left with their fair share of the cake. It was just Tom and Y/N left. They quickly changed out of their fancy clothes and back into their sleep wear, ending the night with watching Stardust and cuddles in the dark. Y/N tries to look behind her to see Tom’s face, who in turn looked down at her. She smiled at him whispering, “I love you.”

Tom quickly leaned in to capture her lips before answering, “I love you too. Happy Birthday Y/N.”

Taglist:

@hollanddolanfangirl @parkerspillow @joyleenl @kihyunwifes @holland-bowen @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh @marvelobsessedteenager @viwihere

[elysianslove]

I wanted to ask to make sure I didn't make you uncomfortable! This turned out really long and all over the place 😭. You obv don't have to read it, since I just needed someone to talk to, bc I am very bad at expressing my feelings :'.

SoI took an important exam a few ago, and I heard some ppl got there results, so I went to go check if I got mine, and I did! But they were disappointing and not what I was expecting, bc the exam felt pretty easy. And so I was quite sad :(. And then I told my sister and she also got her results. But what made em really upset was that she got a higher mark compared to mine. And it's not that I was jealous or smn no i was very happy for her and im so proud of her! But when you keep getting lower than someone no matter how much you try, and how hard you work it makes you really upset. Especially if they didn't put in nearly as much as half the work you did.

I was just really disappointed in myself and it kinda made me question what I was doing wrong. Bc no matter how much work I put in, I still wasn't able to get close to the amount she did, even though I worked hard. It kinda made me think back about what i could've changed. And I feel like I am the problem. That I'm just dumber, or slower, or stupider. It really sucks to be thinking like that, but when it's not the first, or second, or third time it's happped, it makes me feel like there's something wrong with me.

And I only have one chance left for this exam which doesn't help :/. I also opened the results at the wrong time. Bc after I opened them i started crying (and I still am). An I opened them right before my final 😭 don't do that. Don't ever do that 😭

Self-deprecation isn't nice but sometimes you can't help but think that you're the problem when no matter what you do, or try to change,, you feel stuck and nothing changes. *sigh* I couldn't even sleep this morning or last nigh,, today is just not it

Thabk you for letting me rant! I seriously needed that!

hey lovely! i’m sorry i only just saw this but :( i’m so sorry that you’ve been led to think of yourself that way :( (had to put a read more cause this got long haha) 

 i promise that although something like one exam seems detrimental and catastrophic right now, but trust me, in the long run, it’s big results and achievements that matter. not to say that little successes shouldn’t be celebrated, because they absolutely should, but failures should never, ever put you down. i sound hypocritical because god knows i beat myself up for days when a bad exam happens, but honestly, i try to remind myself, it’s already happened. i did my best, and i did all i could, and this is the result. it’s not the best, it’s not me, but it happened, and i can’t change it. all i can do is aim for better on the next exam. 

i know it seems like all your chances have vanished, but i promise they haven’t. newer and maybe even better chances will arrive. and you’ll do amazing. 

take your study habits, and look through them. could there be something you’re doing that might not be 100% efficient? maybe you’re not studying in a way that best helps you. like for example, a lot of people are visual learners, so they require notes, watching videos, seeing things demonstrated, for them to fully understand. while some are auditory learners. there are so many different types to it. maybe try figuring that out first! it might help enhance studying. 

also i trust that you are proud of your sister, but comparing yourself to her will only make you feel worse. compare yourself to yourself. take a time where you’ve done really well, and analyze why. did your study methods differ, did you just understand the material more, did you get enough sleep the night before, etc. 

and i promise you, one bad day does not determine whether you’re meant to be happy or not. i’m really sorry it was bad for you, but i hope and pray that tomorrow’s better, or the day after, or the day after and then all the days after that. you’re going to be okay, i promise. everything will be fine, and you’re perfect the way you are, with your grades and everything. so long as you continue to do your absolute best, everything will soon fix itself, and you’ll be where you’re meant to be.

just trust in yourself, and in your capabilities. you’ll end up where you’re meant to end up, and hopefully that’s somewhere you want, and somewhere you deserve. i love you loads! and you can come to me at any time you need! mwah <3

[yukimoji]

My World: Part 3 ( Tanjiro Kamado x Reader )

( a/n: hello! welcome to part 3 and the final part of the “my world” series! this became longer than i had initially expected, i apologize deeply for that. also, i'm sorry if it seemed like i shitted on kanao too much, im so sorry bby i still love u. take note there will be grammar errors and typos, bec im blind and i always seem to miss those errors rip. thank you all for following “my world”, and i hope you all enjoy! )

(also, how do u even write angst?? i tried my best and i hope ya’ll dont get too disappointed with my poor excuse of angst lololol)

Part 1 I 2 I 3

Total words: 6600+ words

Genre: Angst and Fluff

!!MAJOR, MAJOR MANGA SPOILERS! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!

Warnings: Mentions of blood

--

With each passing day, it felt like you were getting closer towards the edge of the line.

In a dark tunnel, you stood there, wandering aimlessly towards the light that could not be even seen for miles and miles. An endless loop of nothingness, as the feeling of dread, terror, and fear consumes you from the hidden depths of your mind.

You hoped and wished that one day you could see even a tiny glimpse of what lies ahead of you. Wondering if there's more to it than the endless bloodshed and horrors you've seen hundreds of times now.

But then, suddenly, a warm entity started to walk alongside you. A feeling as warm as the bright rays of the morning sun, and an inexplicable feeling of something accompanying you on your endless journey.

Even when immersed in darkness, the underlying warmth seemed to radiate from that figure. There was a tinge of happiness in your harsh world that made the road to the unseen light seem less lonely than before.

However, with every step, the distant light gets dimmer and darker.

And the warm feeling beside you blazes into a raging, roaring, sea of fire.

The morning after you received the heartfelt letter from Tanjiro, word broke out that Tanjiro, Inosuke, and Zenitsu had defeated Lower Moon One.

You were rejoiced to hear that your comrades had defeated another member of the Twelve Demon Moons. When you heard the news for the first time, you promptly darted to find the nearest pen and paper to congratulate the trio. However, you stopped dead in your tracks when your Kasugai Crow screeched out the status of the Hashira that the trio had accompanied.

Rengoku Kyojuro, the Flame Hashira, has died after an encounter with Upper Moon Three.

Your eyes were as big as saucers, as you stood there in shock. You couldn't believe what you were hearing. Upper Moon 3? Hashira? Dead?

You've never really had a proper conversation with the Flame Hashira, but you've had high respects for him. The way he would hold his sword with pride and his never-ending sense of justice would always bring hope to you and your fellow slayers. You could still remember the words of encouragement he would say every time he would have encountered the lower ranks like you.

"Always set your heart ablaze!"

Hearing about the death of such an important figure in the Demon Slayer Corps made you tighten your jaw. Your hand clenches at the thought of someone so kind and strong had died of such a painful death. You inhaled tiny and long breaths as you try to calm yourself down from the frustration rising in your veins.

He would've wanted his death to inspire the Demon Slayers to fight harder, and you will. His fate will not be in vain as long as the Demon Slayer Corps will continue fighting on.

If you feel angry, you could only imagine as to how Tanjiro felt. Knowing the boy, he would've befriended and had grown attached to the fallen Hashira. Your face contorted into one of sadness. He would be distraught, seeing the Flame Hashira die in front of his very eyes.

You glanced at the paper and the pen at the corner of your vision, and decided to write to the Hanafuda-clad slayer. You went to grab the items and sat down to start writing your letter.

You couldn't be there to physically comfort him, you were too far away. You prayed that this letter would suffice, as you could not do anything more to console the Burgundy-haired boy.

--

Tanjiro made his way back towards the Butterfly Estate, after visiting the Rengoku Estate to deliver Kyojuro-san's final wishes. He gazed at the katana guard that was given to him by Senjoru, Kyojuro-san's little brother. He sighs sadly at the thought of the Flame Hashira, his words echoing in his mind.

"Live on and set your heart ablaze!"

Breathing out softly, his Crimson-hues looks upwards to the sky, staring at the moving clouds high above.

"CAW! A MESSAGE! A MESSAGE FOR KAMADO TANJIRO!"

"Yaah!" Tanjiro yells out in surprise at his crow's loud screeching, but his expression brightened at the sight of a letter attached to it's legs. He then puts his arm out to let the crow land on it.

"Thank you!" He affectionately pats the head of the crow, and proceeds to take the letter placed delicately on it's legs. The crow screeches once more, and takes off.

Tanjiro looks at the crow flying away, and returns his gaze towards the letter in his hands. He reads the message written in it, and can't help a smile forming from his lips.

"What can be done, is for us to not let it define our days to come. We can choose to heal, whilst bearing the scars, whether alone or with someone precious.

For as long as you want me to, I will be here for you."

I read that somewhere, but I couldn't remember where, hehe.

I'm sorry for what happened. I can't imagine what you're feeling, but I will always be here for you. Rengoku-san will not be forgotten, and he will always live in our hearts and memories.

Be kind to yourself, Tanjiro. You mean the whole world to me.

- [ L / N ] [ Y / N ]

Tanjiro chuckles softly at the letter, and holds it close to his chest. He sniffles as he flutters his eyes close, the corners of his mouth turning up into a thankful grin.

"Thank you, [ Y / N.]"

--

Months pass, another mission comes by after the completion of another mission. As the weeks gone by, you could find yourself growing stronger each passing day.

During your time apart, you and Tanjiro would often exchange letters. Usually, it was him describing his missions in full detail and how Zenitsu and Inosuke were doing as they worked alongside with each other. Every now and then, little scratches and odd pen marks will decorate the surface of the paper, which you could only assume is Nezuko's doing.

You, on the other hand, would also write about your missions. Occasionally, you would tell him about random stuff, little things on your mind as you go about your day.

One thing remains constant, though. The two of you would always end a letter with a heartfelt sentence that became your little way of saying "I love you" for each other.  

"You mean the whole world to me."

Today, me, Inosuke, and Zenitsu went to Yoshiwara with Uzui-san. He basically forced us to come with him, because he wouldn't stop harassing the poor girls back at the Butterfly Estate if we didn't go. He said he was looking for his three wives, as they stopped contacting him after going undercover to find a demon in the district. Can you believe it? Three wives?!

When we arrived, Uzui-san immediately dressed us up as girls and we were sent off to brothels where we could hopefully find the demon causing havoc in the area. Honestly, I'm kind of glad that you weren't here to see me. Not because I don't want you to be with me, no no no! I actually miss you so much and I just want see you again and I just-

It's because I looked absolutely ridiculous! Seriously, it was a miracle that I was able to pass up as a girl!

Anyway, it's my first night here, and so far, there's no sign of a demon. There's been rumors going around about young women suddenly committing suicide without explanation. There's something fishy going on around here, that's for sure.

I'm going to end my letter here. Tomorrow's another day, and we will do our best to make this mission a success.

Stay safe, [ Y / N ].

You mean the whole world to me.

- Kamado Tanjiro

Of course, there were moments where you were worried sick for the boy. When news broke out that the Sound Pillar and the trio defeated Upper Moon 6 in the Red Light District, you were absolutely ecstatic. Another Upper Moon had been slain, and you couldn't be more proud  for the trio.

That is, until Tanjiro abruptly stopped sending letters.

During those moments, you could only send letters to the Butterfly Estate, asking about Tanjiro's health and condition. You tried not to get your emotions get the best you, but you couldn't help it. Not when Tanjiro was laying in a bed, unconscious, and out of your reach.

You found comfort of the letters that replied to you. Kanao, the Butterfly Pillar's Tsuguko, started writing back to you, and kept you up-to-date of Tanjiro's well-being that would soothe your anxious nerves. You were thankful for her, as she would always write back to you every night without fail.  

Gradually, you began to get to know her, and eventually thought of her as a friend. Since she was a little shy, you gladly told her about your days and endless missions, and maybe a little bit of jokes and puns to lighten up her day.

It wasn't long too until she started talking about the things she liked, like how she enjoys blowing soap bubbles and considers it a hobby. She would also talk about how she likes sweets and accessories, squishing cat paws and helping with the cooking at the Butterfly Estate.

Who knew, that the girl who wrecked you mercilessly during your Rehabilitation training was actually such a lovely and adorable girl who enjoyed the little things in life?

When Tanjiro finally recovered, you never stopped sending letters to Kanao. She was a fun pen pal and a friend to have, because she would listen to each time you would either rant about your day or just say some dumb puns when you're too bored to function.

One day, Tanjiro told you that he was going to the Swordsmith Village to ask for a replacement for his sword. That night, he spoke of how the Love Pillar and the Mist Pillar were present in the village, and how he had the chance of speaking to Genya Shinazugawa, the Wind Pillar's younger brother.

For days on end, the Crimson-eyed slayer would tell you about a training doll that mimicked the strongest Demon Slayer who ever lived. He would rant endlessly, telling you about a swordsmith who trained him to the bone without food and water. He told you, one day, he accidentally smashed the doll into pieces, revealing a worn and old sword hidden inside of it.

You snickered, and you could already hear Tanjiro's voice, which was loaded with panic and anxiety, just by reading the contents of his letters.

You were pleasantly shocked the next day, when your Crow announced the news of the deaths of Upper Moon Five and Upper Moon Four.

Tanjiro was like a magnet for the Upper Moons, and you can't help but feel a heavy sensation in the depths of your stomach.

It felt like the calm before the storm, as after Tanjiro's experience in the Swordsmith Village, there was a rapid decline in Demon activity all across the country.

--

However, it seemed like the crow didn't exactly tell you everything regarding the Village's aftermath.

After what seemed like forever, you made your way back to the Butterfly Estate. Since demons have not been running all over the place, there weren't as much many missions as there was before. Your crow yelled at you to go back to the estate, but hey, you weren't complaining about that.

You couldn't contain the excitement, a giddy expression ever present on your face. Each step brought you closer to your destination, and as the Estate finally presented itself to your vision, you practically skipped your way in order to reach the area faster.

You heard shouting in the distance. There were cries of panic, seemingly asking someone to come back. You didn't stop your hurried pace, but your eyes widened in both joy and shock when you saw the familiar raven locks of your demon friend, who was now running towards you at full speed.

In broad daylight.

"[ Y/N ]! [ Y/N ]! [ Y/N ]!" Nezuko cries out in joy, jumping at you with all of her strength. You couldn't react on time as she lands on you, and the both of you tumbled to the ground. She was hugging you, a hand affixed on top of your head, patting it relentlessly.

"Oof! Hi, Nezuko!" You laughed at her antics, and hugged her back without hesitation.

You were confused, that's for sure. Even though you were absolutely overjoyed to see your friend, your mind was screaming confused thoughts on how on earth she was able to hug you underneath the blazing sun. Not only that, she was not wearing her usual bamboo muzzle and she spoke your name! She actually spoke! Her voice was absolutely adorable!

"Welcome back!" She cheered happily, and you already feel yourself melt into a puddle at how cute she was acting. She continued to nuzzle onto you, and you felt a sense of pride knowing that an incredibly cute and sweet girl was aggressively showering you with love and affection.

"EH?! [ Y / N ]'S BACK! SHE'S BACK!" You snapped your head to the source, and beamed at the sight of Zenitsu calling out to the residents of the estate, signalling your arrival.

"It's nice to see you again, Zenitsu!" You called out and waved at him, a bright smile present on your face. You couldn't really move, not when Nezuko wasn't done hugging you and spoiling you rotten with her affection.

Zenitsu's eyes widened for a second, until he began jumping around and screaming out a series of chants like the madman he is.

"REALLY? IT'S REALLY NICE TO SEE ME AGAIN?! AW! DON'T FLATTER ME, [ Y / N ]! YOU SHOULD'VE TOLD ME BEFORE THAT YOU HELD ME IN SUCH A HIGH REGARD! YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO ASK FOR MY HAND IN MARRIAGE!"

Your smile began to fade, and you could look at him with utter dismay as he proceeded to yell out nonsense.

But then, a familiar voice calls out. The voice that you've yearned to hear for months, as it makes your heart skip a beat as it gets louder and closer.

Tanjiro comes out from the estate, looking around frantically, a desperate expression evident in his gentle features. He looks at your direction and he goes stiff as a statue the moment he locks eyes with you. His eyes began to water, his lower lip quivering from the sight of you.

He races up to you, rivaling with the pace Nezuko had when she assaulted you. Instantaneously, he engulfs you in his loving embrace, and you couldn't hold back your giggles and laughter as he proceeded to wreak havoc on your face with little kisses.

Nezuko lets out a sound of pleasure and releases her hold on you. She watched her brother as he coddled you with so much attention, and she clapped happily at the sight.

After what seemed like ages, Tanjiro stopped attacking your face with kisses and raised a hand to softly caress your cheek. His crimson-hues looked at you with so much passion and adoration, and you gazed at him lovingly in reciprocation.

Slowly he leans in to you, his forehead brushing yours. The corners of his mouth are pulled up, a ridiculously goofy expression adoring his features. You could feel the blood rushing to your cheeks because of the close proximity to his face, but still, you gave him the biggest grin you could muster up.

He chuckles and closes his eyes, nuzzling on you as he holds you in his arms protectively.

"I missed you. So, so much." He breathes out, and you giggle as his warm breath fans your flushed face.

"I missed you too, you big baby." You fluttered your [ E / C ] close, holding him tight and not wanting to let go.

After months of hardship, stress, and pain, you find yourself once again welcomed by your home and your world.

You spent the next few days roaming around the estate, with Tanjiro beside you, holding your hand at every moment. Not just that, you've got to spend time in the garden with Nezuko again! Only this time, you were accompanied by the presence of Zenitsu, Inosuke, and even Kanao!

Each day was filled with laughter and joy. Even when the Hashiras decided to train every slayer in harsh training routines, your happiness never faded. Given the sweat and soreness of your muscles as you shift from one Hashira to another, you would always be rewarded with the sight of the bright stars shining brightly over all of you.

But one day, that happiness seemed to fade away. The devastation and cruelty that you had faced before came back from the ashes of the past, as each second escalated into the catastrophic hell that you were now forced to face.

One night, every Hashira unexpectedly went on a high alert. You couldn't understand what was going on, and you were even more perplexed when Tanjiro suddenly asked you to stay alert and left in a haste. You stood beside the campfire, confused, and you couldn't control the familiar feeling of dread swallowing you up again.

Your instinct was telling you that something terrible and unprecedented was about to happen. Your heart was thumping uncontrollably on your chest, as you started to sweat and tremble from the overwhelming feeling of uncertainty that made shivers run up to your spine.

Unfortunately, your fears were confirmed when a loud explosion was heard in the distance.

You gasped, as you felt the ground suddenly disappear. You couldn't respond quickly, your mind spinning out of control as you fell down to a fortress filled with demons that seemed to stretch out forever.

You breath hitched as you came back to your senses. You looked around, trying to find something or somewhere that could end your endless free fall. You felt a sense of hope as an area where you could land safely came into view. Your eyebrows were knit together, mouth clenching as you performed a breathing technique and landed swiftly at the edge of the structure.

The moment you landed, demons started to flock towards you. Your blood began to boil, rage rapidly overcoming you. You unsheathed out your sword, tightened your grip on the handle, and immediately slashed your way through the hordes of demons. It was then you realized, that it was the beginning of the end, and that it was going to be a long night.

In a blink of an eye, smiles turned into anger, laughter turned into screams, as what was once happiness was now destroyed and replaced by rage and anguish.

And whenever happiness is destroyed,

There's always the smell of blood.

--

Hours of endless bloodshed. Thousands upon thousands of casualties had rained upon the ranks of the Demon Slayer Corps. You had seen the brutal fighting with your very own eyes, and the rage only intensified with each life taken by the hands of those ruthless demons.

The Twelve Demon Moons had perished. But at the cost of their heads, were the lives of your mentors, comrades, and friends.

However, it finally seemed like their sacrifices were not in vain.

The sun had risen, and Muzan Kibutsuji howled out in pain as the sun's fiery rays started to burn him. He had taken the form of a large, hideous baby, as he desperately tries to hide away from the sun's burning gaze.

Almost everybody was severely injured; there were severed limbs, large gashes, and heavily bleeding wounds.  

Despite the overwhelming pain, the remaining slayers continued to fight on, too high on adrenaline and determination in order to bring Muzan to his demise. Everybody held on, performing everything they could do to make the Demon King roast under the sunlight and suffer for his crimes.

Right now, you were driving a bus, speeding towards the crawling abomination. You slammed on the pedals, accelerating at full speed as you rammed into the enormous, yet horrific excuse of a baby.

"Stay down, you bastard!" You yelled out, a dangerous glint twinkling in your eyes as you couldn't help the sides lips tugging up into smug smirk.

You jumped out of the vehicle right before a big hand smashed the front portion, as a voice commands you and nearby Kakushi to push the back portion to block Muzan from moving further. You all gathered together and pushed with all your remaining strength, yells of determination echoing out to stop Muzan from going further.

Your eyes widen as a large hand rises, but before he could smash you all into pieces, the Wind Pillar successfully cut off it's hand on time. You all continued to push, but Muzan was starting to overpower you all and was slowly going over the vehicle.

Then, you heard the loud clank of chains, and saw the monster stumble back as a large chain had wrapped itself on the demon's neck, forcing him to stay in place. You all moved out, and went to the Stone Pillar, aiding him by holding him in place as he uses all his power to grip unto the chains in order to pin the beast down. Muzan hollered out, as he continued to burn under the sun.

Determined to find shade and escape death, the huge monstrosity resorted to dig himself into the earth. The Hashiras then took turns attacking the abomination, attempting to wear off its stamina. All hope seemed lost, as the chains, and all of your energy rapidly depleted as Muzan continued his struggle.

Then, against all odds, the demon throws his head back in a final, ear piercing scream. Gigantic tears fell down from it's hideous face, and after what seemed like eternity, it's body finally crumbled into nothingness.

There was a pause. You all held your breath, the heavy tension in the air suffocating you all. Disbelief was evident on your faces, as you could not properly process what had just gone down.

Then, you all erupted into loud yells of victory.

Muzan is dead. The Demon Slayers had won.

You all cried out in happiness. Centuries of battle, bloodshed, and death finally bearing its fruit. Everyone embraced each other, beaming smiles present in every slayer's face as the shouts of triumph echoed across the battlefield.

"It's not over yet!" A Kakushi yells out, "Stand up! Treat the wounded! Don't cry, you fools, stay focused! We can save them!" You all looked around, and saw the bodies of several Hashira and Demon Slayers slumped up all around. The celebration ceased as everybody started to scatter; newly found strength flooding them as they sought out to save the heavily injured.

In your peripheral vision, you saw Kanao hunched up and unconscious, and she was being tended by several Kakushi. You ran up to her, and your jaw clenched as you observed the injuries and blows she had taken. You kneeled down, and asked for one of them for bandages so you could help patch up your friend.

As you started to wrap up some of Kanao's injuries, lilac hues started to flutter open. She takes a moment to look at her surroundings, and when she sees you and a few Kakushi patching her up, her lips formed a small yet grateful smile.

"...Thank you."

Your eyes darted to look up to the voice, you gasped in relief and your expression brightened as Kanao weakly gives you a wry smile.  

You stared at her, the corners of your mouth tugging up and your eyes flickering with gratitude. After wrapping her wounds, you gently took her hand and encased it with your own.

"We won, Kanao." You whispered. Shutting your eyes close, you recalled the memories of how hard she fought against Muzan, along with Zenitsu, Inosuke, and the Hashiras. The ravenette just paused, and her mouth falling open as she was reflecting on what you had just told to her. Then, she breathes out in delight, and slowly raised her other hand to caress your own. Kanao's whole face lit up, and she beams at you, nodding her head in appreciation.

But then, suddenly, in the corner of her vision, something captures Kanao's attention. She stiffened, and her hand started to tremble under your gentle hold. Her forehead furrowed and she struggled to find her voice.

" [ Y - Y / N ]-chan..!"

You opened your [ E / C ] eyes, and glanced at your friend's facial features. You grew concerned, trying to make sense as to why she was shaking and sweating so much. Then, loud shouts began to echo and you felt a heavy sensation start to enclose your chest. You started to tremble, the loud yells becoming more frantic by each second. The feeling of dread returned, seemingly to taunt you as goosebumps rapidly washed over you. The girl returned her attention to your bewildered expression, her lilac orbs filled with worry and regret.

You hesitantly turned around and looked to where Kanao had her gaze on to figure out the source of her behavior. Instantaneously, your eyebrows elevated, a hand immediately clasping your mouth. Your eyes welled up in tears and the cries of distress escaped away as you stomached in the scene before you.

You stared ahead to meet the figure of your beloved Tanjiro.

But he didn't look like your Tanjiro.

A beast roared out, screaming and assaulting any being that was attempting to get close to him. You saw a glimpse of Zenitsu and Inosuke trying to hold back your transformed lover, the Water Pillar frantically yelling orders not get close to the boy, but to no avail.

It felt like the whole world had shattered right before your very eyes. You struggled to swallow back the bile rising to your throat, your breathes becoming more erratic as the hot tears endlessly fall from your eyes. You become absolutely racked with sobs, the heavy feeling on your chest intensifying to the point of suffocating you.

"Stop crying!"  You mentally scold yourself. "Now is not the time to cry! You have to help! You have to save him!"

But you couldn't move. You couldn't speak. You couldn't do anything but wail out in absolute heartbreak as Tanjiro further succumbed into hysteria.

No matter how hard you tried, your feet were glued to the ground. Your mind hurled insults, screaming at you to step forward, to run, and try to save your beloved. You could only look up to the heavens, reciting a silent prayer pleading to every Deity who was listening to stop this madness.

In the midst of your emotional turmoil, you have flashes of what once was. You recall how Tanjiro would hold you in moments of peace, how his eyes would fill up with tenderness and love whenever you locked eyes with him, and how his beaming smile seemed to brighten up even your darkest days.

Your heart continues to pound painfully in your chest as you gasp out endless incoherent breathes. You could hear his loving voice resonate in your head, your cries becoming more erratic at the thought that you could never hear his warmth-filled sound again.

"You mean the whole world to me, [ Y / N ]."

You could only look helplessly as the now human Nezuko began to cry out to her corrupted brother, holding him in place so that he could no longer hurt more people. Tanjiro continued to screech and thrash in the sister's grasp, his screams releasing powerful waves of energy that would blowed away anyone who had even dared to come near him.

Zenitsu and Inosuke were swept away by the strong shockwaves, but Nezuko never weakened her grasp, as she continues to hold on to her brother desperately. Tanjiro dropped down, the sound of the tearing cloth ringing around as massive and sharp tentacles exploded out of his back. Zenitsu cries out, terror overtaking his face as he desperately reaches out to save Nezuko.

But something still puzzles you. Your stomach still twisted at the sight of Nezuko bleeding, but what was perplexing was that Tanjiro declined to bite his sister. Even though he had a taste of his sister's blood, he resisted and refused to attack her.

Maybe, just maybe, your Tanjiro was still there, fighting to break free from his eternal prison.

"[ Y / N ]-chan." Kanao calls out. You snap out of you emotional daze and faced the girl. She looked at you with a hopeful expression, and she takes out a small box from her belt.

"We can still save him..." She starts, opening the box to reveal an injection. "My master gave this to me, and she said that this is medicine made out of Wisteria flowers that could turn demons back into humans."

Kanao coughs up blood, her face scrunching up as she groans out in discomfort. She stumbles forward because of the pain, and you instantly hold her to prevent her from falling to the ground. She looks up to you, and gives you a sad smile.

"Tanjiro turned into a demon just now. Even if I could evade his attacks with one eye, my injuries could get the best of me." She coughs again, placing a hand to her re-opened wound on her waist. She takes your hand and places the injection on it.

"There's still time, [ Y / N ]. Tanjiro loves you too much to even raise a hand at you."  

You looked down at the injection, your eyes filled with renewed determination. You nodded in agreement, then took long breaths to calm yourself down. You knew what you needed to do, and now, you could save him.

You wiped the trails of dried tears on your face, eyebrows drewn together as your expression hardened. Tightening your grip on the object, you stood up and turned around to confront Tanjiro.

"Thank you." You breathed out, forever grateful to Kanao for giving you this oppurtunity.

You inhaled deeply, oxygen rapidly flooding your veins. You could feel your muscles become stronger each second, as adrenaline fills you once more. Bursts of energy traveled all across your body, giving you the courage and power you needed to pull this off. You focused your strength on your legs, and in a flash, you dashed towards your lover.

"Tanjiro.."

The demon takes notice of a presence rapidly approaching him. He growls and turns his attention towards you. Scowling, he screeches loudly, tentacles aggressively whipping around at all angles to attack you.

"When this is all over, let's make our own world,"

You looked up to meet his eyes, and you were with scarlet ones, which were filled with hatred and rage. Your breathe hitches momentarily as a shiver ran up to your spine.

"A world where no one could tears us apart."

Tanjiro had never looked at you with such hostility before. However, you didn't let that faze you as you continuously dodged his never ending assaults against you.

"Enough is enough, Tanjiro."

You jumped and evaded the whips his tentacles threw at you. Then, an opening presents itself, your eyes dilating and you bolted even closer until you came face to face with the demon.

"You musn't make Nezuko cry."

Tanjiro howls out loudly, and he raises a hand with the intent to smash you. You quickly caught the glimpse of his clenched fist, and you leapt, avoiding his arm as it plunged downwards with such speed and strength.

"Come back to us, and you won't be ever lost again,"

You swore everything looked like it was in slow motion. In that moment, a bright light engulfed your surroundings. Your body flew above the demon, and when his back came into full view, you immediately pushed the cure into him. Tears shone in your [ E / C ] orbs, as a love-filled smile appeared on your features.

You didn't even feel the pain when a rouge tentacle managed to successfully pierce itself into you. Your tender gaze never left the boy, and you finally breathed out in relief. You fluttered your eyes close, and you tumbled helplessly against the surface.

"You are the whole world to me."

"[ Y / N]!" Nezuko calls out to you, her face contorted into one of pure horror as she watches your body make harsh contact with the ground.

Suddenly, Tanjiro stops moving. His tentacles ceased it's assaults, and slowly, but surely, it retreats back into his body. The boy to started to shake uncontrollably, exhaling out heavy breathes as his eyes trembled wildly as he stares at the sight of your injured body.

With all the remaining strength you could muster up, you looked up to the demon. Instead of the hatred and rage you had saw moments ago, Tanjiro's Scarlet-hues were filled with regret. Tears ran down his cheeks, sadness clouding over his demonic features.

You inhaled softly, and with each passing moment, you saw his eyes slowly turn back into the Crimson colored orbs that you loved so much. As seconds pass by, your vision began to darken. Exhaling out in exhaustion, you felt thankful that you get to see a glimpse of your Tanjiro once more. You heard loud shouts resound through the field, feeling something tending to your wounds before your sight was further consumed by darkness as you fell into unconsciousness.

--

" -Ma..?"

" -Ma!"

"Mama!"

You jolt up in surprise, trying to catch your breath as cold sweat falls down from the side of your face.

You take a moment to observe your surroundings, and you could find yourself sitting in a bench that was located at an open lake. Sakura trees were abundant, and their beauty was obviously not overlooked as pink blossoms flew around with the cool spring breeze. Flora was flourishing all over, and the sounds of the little animals living in the lake was prominent.

A nightmare? You thought. Sighing deeply, you let yourself fall back in the bench where you were sitting on. A small hand shakes on your own frantically, as you turned your head and smiled softly as a gigantic pair of eyes, clearly filled with worry, gazed into your own.

"I'm sorry, Takeo. Did Mama scare you?" You chuckled, as the child in front of you pouts and crosses his arms over his chest.

"Stop dozing off like that! I was really worried when you started to cry in your sleep again!" Takeo exclaims out, puffing out his cheeks as he stomped on his foot in annoyance.

You laughed at his antics, your melodic voice echoing across the peaceful lake. You leaned forward and raised a hand to gently pat your son's head. The boy looked almost the same as you, seeing as he inherited your complexion, your facial features, and even your [H / C] hair.

There was one thing, though, that distinguished him from looking like a complete carbon copy of you.

He had Crimson colored eyes that he inherited from his father.

Takeo continues to huff out in annoyance, but he couldn't fight the flush rising up to his face from your act of affection towards him. Whether he was going to deny it or not, it was an irrefutable fact that he loved getting his head pats. As you observed Takeo's features, you felt warmth and tenderness embracing your chest. You pulled your hand away from his head and just chuckled at his failed attempts of trying to look angry at you.

"Papa asked me to fetch you, ya know.." Takeo mumbles, his Crimson-orbs looking away from you in embarrassment. "He says that Aunt Nezuko and Uncle Zenitsu are coming over today, along with Uncle Inosuke and Aunt Kanao. He figured that you would be glad to see them again."

"I see." You whispered. Your mouth slowly into a grin, and you nodded gratefully. You felt excitement and joy bubble up in you, as you beamed brightly to your son. "Thank you, Takeo. I'm absolutely delighted to hear that they're coming to visit today."

Slowly, you stood up from the bench, one hand holding on your son's arm for support and the other caressing your swollen belly. You looked up to the heavens, eyes sparkling with gratitude as a thankful sigh escaped from your lips. You shifted your attention away from the blue sky, and softly held your son's hand as you began your way back home.

"Let's go home, shall we?"

Once upon a dream, you never thought the possibility of true love coming to you all your life.

Growing up in a demon infested world, life seemed to be fond of throwing you into hardships and struggle. Despite the horrors of the world, you always persevered. For every challenge that has been hurled towards you, the tribulations have only made you grow stronger and better.

Your life may had started out roughly, but that doesn't mean that it did not change for the better. The endless bloodshed had become relics of the past, moments of time that helped shape the world as it is now.

Recalling those moments of uncertainty, the rays of sunlight peeking through what was once the dark and gloomy clouds had now completely engulfed your life with warmth and tenderness. What you once wanted to experience all those years ago, has now become your reality. The little bits of happiness that you yearned for, now held onto you, never wanting to leave any time soon.

As you get closer to your home, you could hear the voices of children laughing and playing. Soon, you saw a glimpse of your humble abode, and little kids that looked similarly to you and your husband came into view. Takeo releases his hold on you, and he excitedly makes his way towards his siblings. Your expression brightened, a permanent smile present on your face as you took in the sight of your children frolicking around with happiness evident in their faces.

Then, a warm hand snakes over your waist, pulling you towards a broad chest that belonged to your lover. You couldn't contain your giggles as your face was immediately assaulted by small pecks and kisses. His hanafuda earrings seemed to ring each time he moved his head, his long ponytail swaying alongside with the cool breeze. His crimson-eyes gleamed in adoration as he gazes into your own, an adorable grin affixed in his lips as he continued to lock you in his protective embrace.

Sakura petals flew all around, encasing your surroundings with a sense of peace and serenity. After years of struggle, you can finally wake up in the morning without the likelihood of a horrible and painful death looming over you, as your cruel and dark world was now behind you.

Those dark days were long over. Now that you had finally avenged your family and the numerous deaths Muzan Kibutsuji has inflicted upon humanity, you could finally spend the rest of your life in peace.

Now, you had finally found a place to call your home. With him, you had created a whole new world. A world that was overflowing with love and happiness. Now that he would always stay by your side, you won't have to be lost anymore.

Tanjiro lifts up a hand to softly caress your cheek, gazing at you with so much love and adoration. The corners of his mouth quirked up as he fluttered his eyes close and slowly leaned forward. Your expression softened, and you chuckled softly as you put your arms around his shoulders. Your eyelids close shut as you felt your chest swell up with so much emotion, as his lips finally captured yours into a love-filled kiss.

"You are the whole world to me, [ Y / N]."

( a/n: thank you, thank you, thank you so much for following “my world”! it means so much to me that some of you had taken a liking on this series :’D im sorry if there were mistakes and ooc-ness along the way;;;

thank you for reading, and stay safe! you all mean the whole world to me <3)

[plusultrcs]

Okay so now that i’m done crying about shadow and bone to my friends i want to make a controversial statement. Don’t bite my head off for my opinion bc 1. idc i said what i said and 2. it aint that serious these are fictional characters moving on though. I don’t think the show is bad AT ALL i really enjoyed it and seeing the inclusion of leigh and her books was so fucking cute but i will say i think combining both series into one did a huge disservice to the character development of most, if not ever, character. and i’ll explain why so (obviously) sab spoilers ahead. this also obnoxiously long so if you dont read it thats fine <3 lmao

I know going into it everyone, including leigh pretty much, was saying not to expect it to be like the books. That it was going stray away and be more like a fanfiction than the original works. Which was true, but only for the six of crows characters. The show leaned heavily and relied heavily on the plot of shadow and bone. Which, of course, makes sense but because of the inclusion of a heavy heavy re-worked six of crows plot that didnt fit the plot of shadow and bone at all it left them feeling incredibly displaced. Like on shadow and bones part every single major and sometimes even the minor plot points were followed to the number, but on the six of crows front the only thing closely followed was the nina and matthias backstory. I wont talk about every single character because i anticipate this to already be long, but the ones i noticed the most were done a disservice.

For instance Alina. Despite shadow and bone being followed so closely you dont really get to see the natural progression of alina’s character the way i was hoping we would. And that’s definitely because of the time restraints. They had to find a way to somehow balance the screen time for both separate plots so that they could hold the audiences attention for both. Like when nina and matthias plot wasnt on the screen for i think 2 episodes i almost forgot about them and what they were up to so i understand why they timing had to be so split, especially when you only have 8 hours to cover the characters of 2 over 300 page long books yknow? But that means important moments alina had to herself in the books were completely cut, and so a lot of that growth we got went with it. The the biggest thing i was disappointed to see go was the defeat she felt when she was first captured and collared by the darkling. She was feeling absolutely helpless, mal was in their hold, she had no power to do anything but sit there and let him use her. All the training she did felt pointless to her and she really was at the point of giving up. She went quiet, wouldnt speak,was basically a zombie until that moment in the fold when she saw innocent people suffering when she knew she could stop. And she found a way to break free. There were other moments like this in the book, like moments at the little palace where shelt herself getting further and further from mal and feeling like an outside on her own all over again. They tried to show it in the show but without the time to develop her life on her own at the little palace it definitely fell short.

Speaking of mal: THANK YOU WRITERS FOR FIXING HIS WHINY ASS. And while he was annoyingly whiny in the books, he is not a boring character. Not to me at least, honestly he never was. While i do appreciate them not making him so whiny, I would have appreciated seeing that same dissonance realizing alina was grisha brought about in the books. Its just like alina said, grisha were people they scoffed at and talked about in a joking way. Their lives felt miles and miles away from their own, and then to learn that she had been one the entire time. I know i know, it has nothing to do with, and alina didnt know either. BUT THAT IS STILL HIS BEST FRIEND. And obviously girl he’s in love with even if he wasnt aware of it at the time. it made him question everything he thought about grisha, and more importantly brought both of their biggest fears to light: being torn apart. In the book he doesnt deal with this well at ALL and while leigh bardugo does a great job throughout the series showing him growing to me he never got where he should have been, and the show did place him there but i think they do so prematurely. I definitely wanted him to be as understanding as he was, to take notice of how much healthier and stronger she looks since she’s not withholding her power anymore, but i did still want the tension of him wondering what it means for them, how their lives would change, because just based on laws alone she is a grisha and would typically never be someone he would have the chance to befriend but neither of them would be okay with that.

AND ON THE TOPIC OF MALINA. THEY ARE NOT A BORING SHIP. I think the only person other who would work for alina is nikolai (dont fight me on this im right), and that is who i wanted her to end up with. However, I understand why Mal was the choice. Alina has always been someone who just wanted to belong, to fit in somewhere, AND THAT IS OKAY. IT’S NOT A CRIME TO WANT TO BE ORDINARY. I know shes the main character, and has the prophecy of being the ~chosen one~ but that doesnt mean she suddenly has to alter change and rearrange herself entirely. she never wanted to be a saint, and even by the end of the series she still doesnt. Choosing to let the world believed she died so she could live a quiet life. tHAT’S ALL SHE’S EVER WANTED. And Mal is the perfect person to give her that. People who claim she gave up her life for mal, to me, didn’t understand her character. She bounced around from needing mal by her side, and when she couldnt have him there she still sought acceptance in the only other person willing to give it to her, i.e. the darkling. and then when she couldnt have it from him she’s forced to find it in herself and while she learns she doesnt need him or mal she doesnt need anyone, she still chooses mal bc she wants to be with him. she doesnt feel obligated and even later on in the books makes plenty stands on her own without him but she loves him and they honestly make perfect sense. a softer ship doesnt make it a boring one js.

NOW THE SIX OF CROWS GANG. I hate to say it, i do but they felt reduced to a form comedic relief. they had their serious moments ofc but for the most part whenever they popped up on the screen i knew a joke or gag was soon to follow. i will say kit as jesper? best decision that could have possibly been made he fucking did what he had to DO. Kaz’s development for me felt really really rushed and forced. Like he was saying things to inej he wouldnt have said so quickly and especially not while he wasnt under stress??? it honestly felt like fan service??? which im not mad at because again i dont think the show was bad at all the actors brought really great life to the crows, but it just makes me sad to see all that development and build up go out the window.  i think if they were that set on combining the crows story with the shadow and bone story it would have been so much nicer to get a sort of prequel on the crows. like they should have given them the same treatment they gave nina and matthias. so that we could see their backstories as explained in the book happening in real time like how they all came to ketterdam. i know theres no point in wishing that now since whats done is done and again I DONT THINK ITS BAD. Im just sad about all the character development and strong subtle points lost because leigh bardugo always does such a great job in dropping subtle hints and always bringing them back in the end, and that was sadly lost. STILL A GOOD SHOW STILL LOVE THE BABIES. STILL PRAYING FOR A SEASON TWO.

EDIT: IT ALSO MADE ME SAD TO SEE THEM LOSE SO MANY TIMES??? ESPECIALLY AFTER SOC WHERE THEY ALWAYS MANAGED TO WIN?? Like ofc it made perfect sense for them to be unable to capture the damn sun summoner !!! but kaz and all of the crows are meant to be the best of the best when it comes to criminals top tier and they were bested by a ball of light and a jog???? and them going home basically empty handed was kinda :// like i got it but also where did alina get that necklace lmao so yeah once again still great still love it questions had to be asked 

[itsbebachan]

Unfortunate Soul Chapter 3

Hey sweeties, first I want to thank all of those that have given me kudos and shown your love for my little fic. I am truly touch, it let’s me know that there is someone out there that enjoys my writing. I am truly sorry that I’ve been M.I.A. but as you may not know I am a flight attendant, mother and wife which makes it very hard to find time to write. But I promise that I will see this fic to the end. I truly do appreciate that you stay with me on this journey and I will see you guys soon.

Two weeks went by like nothing had ever happened. Katsuki ignored my presence and continued being his usual obnoxiously cool self. It was like the news of being a father meant nothing to him. I couldn’t stand it; it was killing me inside seeing how he just went about his normal life like if he had no care in the world. Tenya was my rock in the days that followed. He never left my side making sure I was okay and had enough to eat. He kept reminding me that I was now eating for two. I still couldn’t find the courage to tell my parents, I was too embarrassed and scared to say anything to them.

As the days went by, I found myself getting weaker and weaker. I had no idea what was happing to me. Tenya and the others were staring to suspect that something was wrong but they never pushed me for information. They believe I would tell them if something was wrong. I was woken up by terrible stomach pains. It felt as if something was trying to rip their way out of me. I started crying uncontrollably begging for the pain to stop. My mom ran into my room almost tearing down the door in the process, dad and Tenya were not too far behind.

“Zuku, honey what’s wrong? Tell me, how can we help?” My mom was crying along with me, I could feel his anxiety and fear and all I wanted to do was hug him and make him feel better.

“Tenya, call the ambulance. Tell them that a Uke might be having a miscarriage” Dad yelled and we all just started at him in shock. Tenya gave me a look saying he was sorry then ran out of my room to make the call leaving alone with my parents. I started crying and yelling even louder as I had no idea how my dad know I was pregnant. I know that my dad worked in the “Angelic Project” so I guess he has some idea of what is happing to me.

“What do you mean a miscarriage? What is going on here?” My mom was freaking out, I could see his concern written all over his face. I tried to tell him, I really tired but the words were stuck in my throat and nothing was coming out.

“Shota, honey. I'm sorry this is happening but our baby has been showing signs of being pregnant for some time now. I know a lot has been happening here at home and I want you to know I’m not blaming you for not noticing.” My dad held my mom in his arms, his cries were too much to bear.

“Toshi, this can’t be! Izuku is such a good boy. We have taught him better; I just can't believe this is happening.” Dad hugged mom so tight all the while cueing in his ear that everything was going to be alright. All the while I just sat there sobbing, feeling my whole world crumbling down.

Tenya walked into my room announcing that the ambulance was on its way. He came to my bedside and held in his arm which helped me calm down long enough so I could explain what was going on to my parents. I breathed in his Seme’s scent of sandalwood and fresh cut grass and centered my thoughts. I could feel my parents growing anxiety and know that now was the time to come clean.

“Mom, Dad. I could never find the right time nor the right words to tell you but I guess the best way to do it is by showing you.” I raised my pajama sleeve to show them my hormonal watch. Those damn word “Pregnant” kept on flashing like some fucking Christmas light. My mom would have fainted if dad wasn’t holding him. I could see pain and concern clearly on their faces and I knew deep down that they were disappointed. My dad was the first to speak.

“Izuku, I need you to start from the beginning and tell us what happened. Who is the father of this child?” He was calm but I can tell that a storm was brewing inside.

“It’s Kacchan, dad. We dated for almost a month. I know that I did wrong and I understand if you want to kick me out but you have to understand, I love him. I love him more than anything but he doesn’t want us and that doesn’t matter because I’m keeping him my baby. He is the only part of Kacchan that I have left.”

I was crying uncontrollably by the end of it. Tenya just kept quietly holding me and let me just let it all out. Mom’s cries were just soft whimpers as my dad’s face just sank. I could see the wheels in his head turning and I was afraid that he would tell me I had to get rid of my son. The room stayed silent for a few more minutes, we could all feel the tension in the air. Finally dad spoke just one word “marriage” at first I thought he meant Kacchan but then realization hit.

“What?” I was confused.

“Izuku. I’ve known for some time now that you were pregnant. I was just hoping that you had more faith in us and told us what was going on. I know all the signs; you're tired all the time, your moody and even your scent has changed. But like I said, I had faith. So to me the logical step would be for you to marry the father of your kid, but as you have just told us that he doesn’t want it then other measures must be taken. I believe it’s time to hire a matchmaker and find you a Seme that will be willing to take your child in, you know that we Semes are very territorial and the idea of our Uke caring another Seme’s child is enraging.”

He was right of course. No Seme is gonna want me, that’s why my mom was so heartbroken. He knew that any chances I had to have a beautiful happy life was gone. I got out of my bed with Tenya’s help and went to my mom, he’s soft whimpers were drawing me in. I knew I had to make this better, I knew I had to make this right.

“Mom, please don’t cry. I know I did wrong but I can’t change what has happened. I need to know that I’m not a disappointment, I need to know that you still love me and want me to be a part of your life. I need you mommy.” I was crying at his feet begging, praying that he would not push me away. I’ve heard awful stories about unwed Ukes that their parents just send them out of their homes with nothing. Mom looks at me with so much sadness in her eyes that just for a second I think he will be kicking me out. He kneed in front of me and grabbed my arms so I was looking at him.

“Zuku, honey. I love you, I could never kick you out. I am disappointed in you honey, I thought that you would know better than to let some punk sweet talk you into anything and of all people Katsuki. I don’t know what to say. This whole situation is not ideal but like your father just mentioned we need to act quickly. You must be married before you start showing, I’ll go and call the matchmaker to bring potential mates folders first thing tomorrow morning. So we can start the preparations at once. I know baby that this is not how you wanted to meet your mate but we are left with no other options.”

He hugged me and we just sat there in my quiet room while the world keep turning and people just went along with their normal lives.

@alovelie @girl2257 @strawberry-panic @0-ddball @monkeyzz-r-ur-bff @dragon-lover-idk @iyemicomic1920 @leynly @otaku-chan-world @jawazia @im-the-villin-in-this-story @itsatomichyena @rainytears2 @nevergrowingup101 @littlelovebug98 @anxiety-ridden-teen

[one-spidey-boii]

BUMMER SUMMER || peter parker; ch. one

masterlist

an; heya friends. this is a story i actually began writing last year (yoinks) and im pretty determined to finish it now that we’re all stuck inside for who knows how long. thanks covid-19. since i began this last year, before i was well versed in the world of tumblr fics- this story does follow an oc of mine. but i’m pretty sure all my future works will be y/n’s. if oc’s bother you i completely understand. but thanks for reading if you’re interested!

**italics indicates flashback**

summary; edie (ee-dee) wolfe (wulf) can throw knives. peter parker can shoot webs. the two are tasked with watching the avengers compound for the summer while everyone is out kicking bad guy ass.

“do you even have a cool superhero name, wolfie?”

“i’m sure i can come up with something better than spiderman.”

warnings: mentions of battle wounds (i.e. blood/scars/etc), future smut, mature language, both peter and oc are 18+!!

word count; 2.5k+

edie's pov

i grab another chip from the half-empty bag laying next to me on the floor and shove it into my mouth. my other hand is scrolling through my instagram feed, only liking pictures of dogs and the occasional selfie of someone i follow.

the school day is over and i just got home, i immediately start stripping to my underwear and a big t-shirt. pants are for being around people, and i need some alone time.

today was weird. i'm quickly nearing the last week of my senior year and today i received some summer bummer last minute news from my friend, peter.

"hey, e." peter says while wringing his hands in front of him. i turn away from my open locker and look at him with a smile.

"what's popping, parker?" i ask as i close my locker and lean against it. he smiles weakly and shuffles in his place. i raise an eyebrow at him and fold my arms in front of me, awaiting an answer.

he clears his throat and looks at me with an unreadable glint in his eyes. "aunt may, uh, said we're going on vacation this summer." he says with a straight tone. my eyes brighten with interest.

"where to? somewhere with a beach, i hope," i say with a chuckle. he lets out a quick breath and drops his hands to his sides. he looks around the crowded hallway and pulls his lower lip into his mouth. i stop a smile from creeping at the side of my mouth. before he could say anything else, our mutual friend ned comes up from behind peter and grabs his shoulder playfully, making him jump a little.

"what's up, guys?" he asks with a huge ned leeds smile on his face. i let out a short laugh at peter's reaction and answer our friend, "hmm, we're just talking about parker's vacation this summer. i'm betting it's a luxurious beach getaway." i say with a wink in peter's direction.

peter lowers his eyes to the ground and tenses up. ned groans and rolls his eyes. "you mean the one that requires him to be gone all summer long?"

i furrow my brows and look at peter as his suddenly sad eyes snap up to meet mine.

so yeah. our best friend is leaving us for the entire summer. all plans are thrown out the window and stepped on by the thousands of people who walk the streets of new york. after that stupid news, my day just kinda went downhill. i was looking forward to spending my summer nights with the usual group of friends- staying up til four in the morning, watching movies, and making the most of our last summer together.

i shove another couple chips into my mouth as a knock sounds at my door. i grant entrance with a full mouth and my mom peeks her head in. "edie, did you leave your brother at school again?" she asks with disapproving eyes.

i pull myself onto my elbows and swallow my food, "he was running behind! i told him to be out at two o'clock on the dot." i huff out at my mother, "he's fine taking the bus." my mom frowns slightly at me and looks over my semi-messy room.

"you're lucky the school year is almost over," she says while still observing my room, "you should probably clean up in here. and put some pants on." i look at her blankly and flop back down on the floor with a sigh, focussing my eyes on the ceiling.

she cleared her throat and continued, "edie, do it."

i peer at her in my peripherals and mumble a snarky response. she chooses to ignore it as she closes my door and yells an 'i love you' through it before walking away.

"yeah, yeah, love you too," i grumble under my breath. there goes my mom, trying her best.

at that moment my phone chimes and displays a text from the one and only peter parker. i pick it up and read the message.

'can i come over? feel like we need to talk'

i open the chat and stare at the words for a moment before replying with a simple 'okay' and pushing myself off of the floor to begin picking up the clothes scattered across my room. i pick up my favorite hoodie and bring it up to my nose, immediately pulling away in disgust and tossing it into the hamper. perhaps my mother was right.

i continue this process until my hardwood floors are fairly clear and visible. spotting a lone sock under my bed, i bend down to pick it up.

before i can straighten back up, my door flies open and i hear a loud “SHIT” before it slams shut again. i whip my head up, hitting it on the end of my bed frame in the process. i throw the sock across the room, completely missing the hamper and cradling my head in one hand. ouch.

i walk over to my door and pull it open slowly, carefully peering my aching head out to look both ways down the hall. after concluding that nobody was there, i begin to close it before something catches my eye. peter stands there, pacing back and forth at the end of the hallway and rubbing the back of his neck with one hand, mumbling to himself. i clear my throat to get his attention. he whips around and stops in his tracks.

"are you lost?" i ask with a soft smirk. he shakes his head slightly and takes a step towards me, "i'm here," he rushes out with his arms spread in presentation, albeit a little awkwardly and takes a step backward, regaining the distance between us.

"i see that," i laugh, "let me put pants on real quick."

i leave the door open as i grab a pair of leggings and pull them up over my legs, only stumbling a few times as i hurry. walking back over to the door, i watch as peter stares at his feet and plays with his fingers.

"you coming?" i ask. he nods and slowly walks over to me. i turn on my heel and fling myself on my bed. peter enters my room, tosses his bag to the side and hesitantly takes a seat in my desk chair, looking anywhere but me. i open my mouth to say something but peter cuts me off.

"ishouldhaveknockedimsorry." he rushes out in one breath. i quirk an eyebrow at him and he takes that as a cue to explain. "i didn't knock. so i saw you in your... panties." he says, defeated.

i bite down hard on my lip to stifle a laugh as i sit up in my bed. peter and i have known each other for years, i could care less if he saw me in my underwear, but to play with him, i look him the eyes and fake a serious face, "first of all, the word 'panties' is off limits. that's a big no-no," i say as i shake my finger at him, "secondly, peter, who cares?"

he lets out a sigh of relief and relaxes in his seat. he smiles, "well that's good to hear, panties make me uncomfortable." it was silent for a few seconds before he processes what he said and stutters to fix it, "i-i mean the w-word 'panties' not a-actual panties. ah shit..." he trails off.

teasing him, i add on, "oh of course, 'panty-dropper-parker' could never be afraid of some measly scraps of lacey fabric." he rolls his eyes and genuinely smiles for the first time all day.

a comfortable silence falls over us as we lounge in my room. i know he came here to talk about summer, but to me, there was nothing to talk about. he's leaving and i'm staying here. as much as it sucks, i can't do a damn thing about it.

he speaks up first, "a-aunt may is really excited about the vacation. i guess we're going to a few different places, making it kinda like a road trip." i smile weakly and nod my head, deciding not to say anything. he takes this as a cue to keep talking.

"if i could take you i would, e." he says with a sad smile.

i sigh and wipe the disappointed expression off my face, "sounds like a good time, parker. make sure you bring me back something special." i say with a wink.

peter laughs and nods his head in agreement.

this is going to be a long summer.

-

i'm back to laying on my floor after peter leaves. this time i just stare at the ceiling and try to distract myself from the impending doom of the summer. rolling my head to the side, i catch sight of my black suit peeking out of the closet. my eyes widen and i spring to my feet to grab it off the floor.

"shit, shit, shit," i scold myself as i wad it up in preparation to throw it back into my closet, my only thoughts are hoping and praying that peter didn't see it. i stop before i throw it and stare at the stretchy fabric of the completely black suit. i haven't gone out in a few days, making me yearn for the feeling of the suit on my body. with no hesitation, i strip down and pull the one-piece up my legs and hips, threading my arms into the sleeves and pressing the button on my right wrist that makes it fit perfectly to my skin. i follow that by tugging on my black boots that come halfway up my shins.

i rummage through the duffle bag i keep under my bed and grab my set of knives. i put one in each boot and slide the rest into the utility belt that i clip around my waist. with a quick look in the mirror, i pull the hood over my head with a smirk and open my window to climb down the fire escape.

peter's pov

it's not easy lying to my best friend. but with great power comes great responsibility, or whatever. i hop down the remaining steps of edie's apartment building and walk over to the nearest alleyway, away from the public eye.

tossing my backpack to the ground, i unzip it and pull out my suit before stripping down and climbing into it. with a touch of the button on my chest, it shrinks to fit me and i pull my mask down over my head.

a few days ago, mr. stark asked me to stay at the avenger's compound upstate this summer while everyone else went to do crazy superhero stuff.

"okay, kid. nows your time to shine." tony says with a serious look on his face. we're on the roof of a random building and it was nearing sunset. i straighten my posture and nod at him sternly.

"yes, mr. stark. whatever you need, sir, i'm ready."

not letting his serious face falter, he continues, "i'm taking the gang away for the summer, figure we need some bonding time. cap and i still aren't on great terms." he lets his eyes drop during the last few words, but regains his focus quickly.

a smile crosses my face as i try to speak, but he cuts me off, "no, no, no. before you get your hopes up- you're staying here."

my face falls at his words. just when i think i'm going to be able to actually do something, i'm left in the dust feeling like a little kid. mr. stark notices my change in mood and grips my shoulder, "come on, kid. don't get pouty yet. we'll be gone, so you need to be here. at the compound...kinda like a bodyguard."

i perk up at him, excited that he saw me fit enough to protect that building and everything in it. "you got it, mr. stark."

as excited as i was, i knew that i would have to come up with a damn good plan to convince my friends why i would be gone all summer. so, that's where i came up with a vacation. i told aunt may that mr. stark asked me to stay with him at the compound for my internship, which wasn't a full lie. everything was worked out.

i've been out for a few hours- helping old ladies cross the street and responding to any cry of help in earshot. taking a quick break, i pop down on top of a building with my feet dangling over the edge, eating a churro that someone had given me for catching some guy trying to steal their cash register.

my ears perk up at the sound of metal clashing onto the ground. i stuff the rest of the churro into my mouth and follow the noise.

in the alleyway below, there's a female silhouette, surrounded by three men. their voices are low and hushed, enough for me to have to turn on my enhanced hearing to make out what they are saying.

"listen, fellas, why don't you just go on home and take this as a warning." the female silhouette stands with her arms in front of her, as if ready to fight if necessary. the men just chuckle at her and move in closer, mumbling crude phrases that would surely make aunt may slap me upside the head if she ever heard me say them.

with that, i take it upon myself to jump down and land in between both parties, facing the group of men.

"how's it going, guys?" i say playfully before shooting a web at the man in the middle, he flies back onto the ground and sticks there. i turn towards the girl, whose face is shadowed by her hood, and ask with a small smile, "need some help, m’lady?"

she scoffs at me and takes a step forward, kicking one of the remaining two men in the face, who was coming at me from behind. she brings her hands to her waist to reveal two throwing knives. with impressive ease, she chucks one at the last man, pinning his foot to the ground and he lets out a guttural scream. the man she kicked in the face is coming back around with a fist up into the air, ready to throw in a good hit.

i lunge forward to grab him, but before i can, she grabs his hand and knees him in the groin. "ouch," i grumble to myself, feeling the bad guys pain. the girl turns on her heel towards me, and holds the other knife in front of my face as she breathes heavily with a grim look in her eyes. this is way too close for comfort. i swallow thickly and take a step back, "guess you don't need help after all, i'll be on my way now." i rush out and extend my arm to shoot a web to the top of the building where i came from.

once i'm up there, i sneak a look back down into the alleyway and watch the three men scurry off. i shift my eyes and find the mysterious girl staring back at me. all i can see is the small smile on her face as she turns and runs the other way.

|| anyone wanna be on a tag list? message me :)

[caterinawriting]

The Cost of a Legacy (5)

Summary : He sees her and she’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen, everything perfect. Well except the fact that they’re growing up during the revolutionary war. Their love will hit many hurdles and what the future has in store may not be what they planned.

Pairing : John Laurens x Reader

Words : 2,102

July 1772

Dearest John,

I’m so sad to hear you won’t be coming to see me, but of course, I understand. It’s a very long distance from Charleston to Switzerland, the voyage is exhausting. Trust me. I miss you, my love, please next letter don’t be so vague. I wanna hear about work and your studies, on how your mother is or how your siblings are. I won’t lie John your letter upset me, I can tell you wrote it in a rush, your penmanship is usually much neater. I understand some times you might not have time to paint me your whole day, but I long to hear your thoughts. Daddy hasn’t written in a while, unfortunately. Anna, my helper tells me to stay positive but I fear he’s in trouble. He’s never been this distant with me, I don’t know I guess I’m feeling farther away from him every day. I miss you John, please write back soon. 

Yours truly,

(Y/n) Fiore Gavalanch

August 1772

Dearest John, Are you well my love? It’s odd of you not to write me back. I’m worried sick John, after what you said in your letter about your mother, I fear the worst. I don’t want to assume something like that so please John explain to me what’s happening. Its times like this where I wish I was still in Manhattan, it’s still far from you but I’d take the ride to you right now if I could. I miss home, I miss you, John Laurens, I miss daddy, I miss Angelica and her sisters. John, I know its selfish but your letters make me feel normal like I’m still there with all of you. Please, John, write to me.

Yours truly, (Y/n) Fiore Gavalanch

August 1772

Dearest John, I’m just sending this incase my other letters you didn’t arrive. Maybe our lack of communication is just on hold for now. If that’s the case disregard my tone, I’m worried that is all. Be well, John.

Yours Truly (Y/n) Fiore Gavalanch.

September 1772

Dear John,

Its fall already, every one of my friends says they can’t believe I’ve been to Switzerland a year, how fast the times go. Not for me every night I pray to God that he puts me back in New York and every day I wake disappointed. The days only seem to drag, the same routine every day. Daddy hasn’t written to me but he has written Anna, she says the letter is private but that he wishes I be well. I don’t understand why he couldn’t have written that to me. My days are clouded with confusion now. You have yet to write to me and I might know why I wrote my dear friend Angelica and she says she saw you in Manhattan the other day. So great, at least I know your alive and kicking. Angelica writes that I should be angry at you, for obvious reasons, but she has another claim. She states when she saw you, you were accompanied by a woman. She says she wasnt near the age of any of your sisters, I want a clear response. If your even willing to give me one. I want you to write to me and explain what’s happening, are we done? If you no longer want me John tell me. I’m sick of feeling so helpless. I’ve tried to defend you, maybe something came up with your mother, maybe your busy with studies or your father’s company. But if you’re able to lounge around New York then you’re able to send me a letter with a quick response. Please, Im driving myself mad. My mother, my father, now you? It’s too much abandonment John, so for my birthday this month please write me something, anything. I’ve never asked for anything on my birthday, so grant me this John. An answer, I can forgive you, John, If you still want to continue this.  

Truly

(Y/n) Fiore Gavalanch

October 1772

“James, wheres John?” Henry had been searching for his older brother all morning, since their mother passed John hadn’t been the same. He avoided his father and siblings opting to only spend time with Martha. Matha had been staying with them since the funeral, her father still in London funding her visit. He knew John was basically using Martha as a way of coping but it wasn’t right, at least is Henry’s mind it wasnt. Especially when John knew that Martha would do anything for him, and he’d do nothing for her.

“He and Martha went out for an early horse ride, again. And he didn’t say goodbye, again.” He frowned putting his book down, “When is John going to be normal again? It’s like I see him and he’s there, but I feel like he’s gone with Momma.” Henry sighed patting his brother, “Don’t worry little man, I’ll bring John back.” He made his way out, sitting on their porch waiting for the couple to return. He grabbed the mail in the meanwhile.

There it was as he suspected, a letter from (Y/n) Fiore Gavalanch. He knew John was really messed up when he stopped writing (Y/n) back, she had written him many times, probably confused why her John was avoiding her. His brother hadn’t sent anything to Switzerland since July. Even though Henry didn’t like her much he did sympathize with her.

He knew his brother hadn’t forgotten about her too because every time he presented him with a new letter John would take the letter to his room and stay locked in all night. One night Henry passed his room and heard sobs from his brother, from her letters he assumed.

He sat there waiting till he saw his brother riding back into their barn. Henry made his way over letters in hand, “Good morning Henry! Sorry we left before any of you were awake, John wanted an early start. Right darling?” Martha dismounted her horse gracefully turning to John who simply nodded. “No worries Martha, I have a letter from your father if you liked to read it.” She squealed, “Yes thank you, Henry! John, I’ll be in my quarters if you need me.” She pressed a kiss to his cheek handing him the reins of her horse, strolling away.

“What do you have there?” John asked still not looking at his brother, as he put his horses back. “Oh, you know the usual, a letter from that poor girl your torturing in Switzerland.” He handed the letter to him, John tucking it into his vest. “When are you going to write this girl back? She’s probably worried sick about you, John it’s cruel.”

“I will soon, I just don’t know what to say to her.” Henry sighed “How about, hey (Y/n) remember how I said Id court you and write you because I cared for you so much? Well, guess what I’m courting someone new and don’t care for you anymore.”

“I do care about her and I’m not courting Martha, were friends that’s it.” Henry scoffed, “Well ‘darling’ Martha thinks she’s getting courted and (Y/n) is probably being courted by some Swedish guy who actually gives her the time of day.” He walked away, annoyed with his brother’s behavior.

(Y/n) wouldn’t do that to him, right? But Henry had a point he was basically doing that to her but with Martha. He hadnt meant for things to go this far with Martha, sure he hadnt kissed her but keeping her here for this long was definitely giving her the wrong message. He made his way out of the barn and up to his room, making sure to lock it.

Once in his room be pulled out a box under his bed, they’re wrapped in (Y/n)’s ribbon were all her letter. He sat as his desk and pulled out the new one, beginning to read it.

End of September 1772

Dear John Laurens,

I am now 15, you are about to be 18. Happy birthday John. If you were curious to know I spent my birthday with Anna alone. I hoped you’d bless me with a letter but no surprise you’ve disappointed me again. I wanted to take the time to tell you our courtship is over, though for you it might have been over long ago. I will cherish our childhood memories well, and when I’m old I’ll think back and smile. For now, I’ll force a smile until someone comes around and changes that. Thank you, John, for everything, you truly changed my life. It goes without saying that this will be my last letter to you. I hope you have a prosperous career and hey maybe that dream you had about your all-black regiment will come true. Never give that up John, you’re destined for greatness, I know it. I don’t want this part to sound bitter but find a good wife John, someone whose smile lights up your world. Have those 7 kids you want, which I still think is a crazy number. I wish you the best John, I’m sending your necklace with this letter. I assume you’d want it back, and I can’t keep it if I’m not yours anymore. The next girl will adore it, John. Best of luck to you, old friend.

Sincerely (Y/n) Fiore Gavalanch

He sighed wiping the tears forming in his eyes, he should have seen this coming. He took the envelope and pulled out her necklace, his hands shook as he placed the necklace in her box. He understood leaving (Y/n) in the dark for so long was wrong, but he wanted to see if he could make his mother happy. He tried to love Martha, god that was all he was doing for the past 4 months, putting all his time and energy into getting himself to like her. It wasnt fair to either of them, he knew that with (Y/n) if had written her back he knew he wouldn’t have been able to focus on Martha. Martha was everything his mother wanted for him and he was trying to please his mother. The pain he was experiencing now from losing (Y/n) was it worth it? He abandon a girl who knows the feeling too well.

She couldn’t control her mother dying so she grew up with no female guidance. Her father did what he thought was right and left her alone in a foreign country at such a young age. And now he who promised to wait for her and court her dropped off the face of her world.

A knock at the door pulled him from his thoughts, he wiped his tears and placed the box under his bed. He opened the door to see a sad Martha, “John my father wants me back in London, he states it super important.  I’m sorry to leave you now, I can see you’re still hurting from your mother’s passing.” She pointed out the tear stains on his face. He nodded, grateful she was leaving.

He needed time to think about him, he obviously wasnt getting anywhere with Martha. Apparently forcing yourself to like someone doesn't work. “Its alright Martha, safe travels.”

“Well, I’ll come back as soon as I can John. I don’t want to leave you for too long especially considering our situation. Hopefully, I’ll see you soon, Johnny.” She once again kissed his cheek and then left to pack her things. Gosh, he definitely needed to clear things up, at least she was leaving though, breaking the news through a letter seemed better than doing it in person.

---

“Boys! John, Henry, James! Come down here.”

“What is it, father?” Henry asked when they were all in front of their father. “Boys were going to be rich! The business is soaring boys!” They clapped, “Congrdualtions father.” John said.

“Well boys with the business going so good, we’ve got to dedicate ourselves to it. So we’re moving to London! Mr. Mannings has got a house all set for us, so you guys will learn and study there. The girls will, unfortunately, have to stay here with your aunt. But us Laurens Men are going to thrive in London, what do you say boys?” Henry and James celebrated with their father, eager to get to London.

London, way to close to Martha, far from the colonies, where the action was happening. Hed leave his sisters and best friend behind but he'd be closer to (Y/n). Maybe he could make his way to Switzerland one weekend and apologize to her. Yes, that’s what he do, go get his girl back.

...

Not edited, enjoy

[artificialqueens]

Not Nineteen Forever (15) (Branjie/Scyvie/Ninex)- Ortega

a/n: oh u thought the worst of the angst was over? it’s only just begun. apologies in advance hnggggggg. love is always appreciated here or over on my blog! love and hugs xxxxxxxxx

please note: this fic contains young adults often behaving in irresponsible/unadvisable ways with regards to alcohol, drugs and sex. if you are someone who feels as if they could be heavily influenced by fic and incorporate what happens in the plot into ur own life, pls steer clear!

summary: Brooke, Yvie and Nina are three flatmates who forged a friendship in their first year of university and picked up some other waifs and strays along the way. Now in their final year, there are feelings that need to be unravelled and confessions to be made whilst navigating drunk nights, hungover mornings, takeaways, group chats, library meetups, cafe gossiping, and the small matter of getting a degree.

last chapter: Scarlet helped Vanessa deal with the aftermath of the breakup, aided by lecture-skipping and the prospect of a pink-haired rebound. Monet was gearing up to ask Nina to be her girlfriend in the most elaborate of ways, and Scarlet and Yvie finally said the most important three words to each other since “let’s get takeaway”.

this chapter: it’s Valentine’s Day, Brooke is a living flip flop, and something happens that nobody saw coming.

***

“Ayo. We’ve got a mouse.”

Brooke finally got her jacket off that she’d been struggling with and faced Yvie, who was lounging on the sofa in their little living room in front of the TV. “Well isn’t that a romantic Valentine’s Day greeting.”

“Well we do,” Yvie shrugged, Brooke leaving her bag on the kitchen table and joining Yvie in front of Coronation Street. “This storyline has been going for about a year, I swear to God.”

“Should you not be out doing romantic shit with Scarlet?” Brooke asked, hearing how monotone her voice was but unable to take it back now. Yvie looked across at her and raised an eyebrow.

“She’s got uni. I’m picking her up from her flat at five, we’re going for drinks and then out to the restaurant.”

“Picking her up with what, your bare hands?” Brooke let out a small laugh, Yvie chucking a couch cushion at her and snorting.

“Shut up. I’ll get an uber. I might even get an uber exec, really push the boat out,” she quipped, Brooke laughing again. As her laughter died down, Yvie tilted her head. “So what’re your plans for tonight?”

Brooke groaned and tilted her head to the ceiling. “I’ll be fine. I’ll stick on some films, eat some chocolate. Maybe skype my parents. I’ll be fine.”

“You said that twice.”

“Well I will be.”

Yvie made a click with her tongue. “And we all know the hallmark of a person who’s fine is if they have to repeat it about twenty billion times.”

“Yvie Oddly, ladies and gentlemen, queen of exaggeration,” Brooke said sarcastically, Yvie giving a sarcastic flourish of her hand right back at her. In the conversational lull, Brooke checked her phone. All over her instagram page there were couples; disgusting, happy couples who really were just making an embarrassment of themselves with their totally cringeworthy captions. “Happy Valentine’s Day to my number one” with every heart emoji under the sun, “happy vday baby i love u” beneath a picture of someone’s boyfriend pulling a silly face, and the worst, “he’s ok”, the understated caption contrasted by the horrendously soppy picture of a couple that Brooke knew from back home kissing for the camera.

Brooke had a cheek, she supposed. She’d made her bed- breaking up with Vanessa, as difficult as it was, was supposed to make her happier and make everything go back to normal. But it hadn’t. Knowing how much she’d hurt Vanessa brought no happiness to her at all, nor did it make her life any easier. Seeing her post sad, slow R&B song after sad, slow R&B song to her instagram story didn’t alleviate her guilt, nor did her radio silence on the group chat. Brooke had seen her only once since the breakup- across the square on campus when Vanessa didn’t realise Brooke could see her, flanked by Silky and Akeria, wearing baggy clothes and not a scrap of makeup, her face and eyes puffy and red. There was nothing about Brooke that was relieved; she desperately wanted to be there for Vanessa, to dry her tears and talk shit about herself. She had the deepest desire to be a friend to her through the breakup she had been the cause of, because ultimately she still cared about her. Brooke didn’t know if that was normal or not. She was past caring or trying to figure it out.

What was she going to do tonight? Yvie was out with Scarlet, Nina was at Monet’s right that minute. Plastique had told her in the library the other day that she was going for drinks with Ariel (“the most casual of drinks”, she’d said, although Brooke knew it would be anything but casual). She didn’t know what the others would be doing. Akeria would probably drag Vanessa on a night out and Silky wouldn’t need much encouragement to go either. It looked like Brooke was in for a night by herself after all.

Mid-scroll, one of the uploads caught Brooke’s eye- a photo from months back at Vanessa’s birthday night out of all eight of them together, dressed up and smiling with their arms around each other. It was only a few seconds later that Brooke realised she was smiling at it, completely unaware that her facial expression had changed. She wished they could all go back to October. She would exchange all the hurt and the guilt and the sadness that she’d caused in exchange for pining for Vanessa for the rest of her days. Her eyes drifted down to the caption, and her stomach plummeted when she realised who it was posted by.

missvanjiemissvanjie Happy Valentine’s Day to my day ones! Best bitches I could ask for in my life. Love you!! 💓

Brooke scanned the photo again. She hadn’t been cropped out, even though she was on the edge of the photo- the curse of being tall, Nina had called it. Her heart began to spring to life. This was a good sign. Vanessa clearly didn’t hate her, and somewhere deep inside her was a want to be friends again and go back to how things used to be. Injected with optimism, Brooke clicked on Vanessa’s messages. She paused for a moment, looking back at the last ones they’d sent- the day of the breakup, Brooke asking to talk, Vanessa wondering if everything was alright. It felt like a harpoon to her stomach.

Trying to stay positive, Brooke typed out a message.

B: Hey. Hope you’re doing okay. I know we said we still wanted to try and be friends so I was wondering if you wanted to maybe hang out tonight? Just as friends obviously. Since everyone else will be busy. Let me know.

Brooke’s finger hovered over the “x”. She decided against it. Hitting send, she found herself waiting anxiously for a reply.

“How do you know we have a mouse anyway?” Brooke asked Yvie, her words suddenly registering. Yvie shrugged.

“Ran across the worktop about five minutes before you came in.”

“What the hell are we going to do about it, then? I don’t want to even imagine what Nina’s reaction’s going to be if she sees it,” Brooke shuddered.

Yvie laughed. “No, Scarlet’s going to be the same. I don’t know, she looked like a nice lil’ fucker. I think we should get a cage. Put a block of cheese in it and then keep her as a pet."

Brooke felt her phone vibrate twice. Picking it up to check it and seeing that both the messages were from Vanessa, she nonchalantly carried on the conversation. "So Scarlet would be fine with that, would she?”

“Scarlet isn’t here all the time.”

“No, just 99% of it,” Brooke raised her eyebrows, opening Vanessa’s messages.

V: lmao

V: Are you on crack. You broke my heart two weeks ago and now you’re trying to be my friend already. Have you never heard of a thing called a healing process?

Brooke felt her stomach tense. She hovered her thumbs over her screen to reply, but nothing she thought of seemed to make sense or be the slightest bit appropriate. Despondent, she was about to close her phone when another message shot through.

V: And I’m busy anyway. So it still would have been a no.

Well, that was that. Vanessa was out with Silky and Akeria, and clearly she wasn’t invited. That was fine. Brooke could have kicked herself. She instantly wished she’d never been so tone-deaf. It had been a stupid suggestion. Of course Vanessa wasn’t going to be best friends with her a fortnight after they’d broken up.

Brooke couldn’t help the fact that she missed her, though. Even just as a friend.

“Hey, panini head? Are you listening to me?” Yvie suddenly yelled, her best Gordon Ramsay impersonation catching Brooke off-guard.

“What?”

“I said, would you look after Mrs Tibbs if I went home for the weekend?”

Brooke rubbed her temples in confusion. “Who’s Mrs-”

“The mouse! Jesus, Brooke, have you been on this earth for the past five minutes?” Yvie laughed, then gradually a frown spread onto her face. “What’s wrong?”

Brooke hadn’t realised she’d been showing her guilt and disappointment on her face. She sighed. ���It’s nothing. I just still feel bad. About Vanessa, you know.”

Yvie furrowed her brow. “Listen, girl, I know dumping someone is hard and it’s unpleasant. Shit, I would know, I’ve had to do it enough times. But there comes a point where you’ve got to stop beating yourself up about it. I mean you ultimately did what was best for the pair of you. It wasn’t fair to string her along if you didn’t want to be with her. It hurts her now, but it’s better in the long run.”

Brooke nodded. Part of her couldn’t help but wonder…

…it didn’t matter.

Brooke’s phone vibrated again. She hoped and prayed it wasn’t another text from Vanessa to berate her for her shitty idea. What was to come would actually make her feel a hundred times worse.

Okay Then: happy valentines day fuckers!!!!!!! even though im out being soppy tonight i still want u all to know that ur my main bitches and number ones and i love u all sm 💖💖💖

Akeria Sainsburys Bag for Life: You’re disgusting. Love you too hoe xxxxxx

Yvie’s Bitch: Awwwwwww Plastique!!!!! We love you too!!!!

Yvie’s Bitch: What’re everyone’s plans for Valentine’s Day?????

Scarlet’s Bitch: i don’t know i’ve got plans with this weird girl called……Scarface? idk i’ll probs cancel on her

Yvie’s Bitch: Suck my clit x

Akeria Sainsbury’s Bag For Life: Children PLEASE

incongruous silkworm spiced praline: HAPPY INTERNATIONAL DAY OF FUCKING

incongruous silkworm spiced praline: ME N KIKI GOING OUT ON THE TOWN LOOKING FOR THIRD DIVISION FOOTBALL PLAYERS

Okay Then: oh bitch aim high? second division xo

Brooke’s heart dropped twenty storeys when she saw who was typing. Their names on the chat had been quietly changed back, but Brooke still knew who it was.

cursed SatNav voice: Happy Valentine’s Day hoes 💓💓💓

cursed SatNav voice: Even though all you couples can suck a bag of dicks

Scarlet’s bitch: gladly, bitch 💜

Okay Then: Vanj are u not going out with Silk n Kiki?? bc if not ur welcome to join me n Ariel!! it’s just casual!!

incongruous silkworm spiced praline: YES PLASTIQUE IM SURE SHED LOVE TO THIRD WHEEL U AND UR HONEYMOON PHASE FLATMATE

Akeria Sainsbury’s Bag for Life: anna ou

cursed SatNav voice: 💓 That’s sweet but I’m busy tonight!! Thanks though boo

incongruous silkworm spiced praline: SHE GOT A DATE ANYWAY

Time seemed to freeze. Brooke couldn’t move. Couldn’t even breathe. All she was able to do was blink at her phone screen as the chat blew up around her. It was only after a few moments that she realised Yvie was looking at her.

“Hey. You okay?”

“Um. Yeah, no, I’m fine,” Brooke stammered, nodding and putting her phone down in a futile effort to seem relaxed. Yvie gave a laugh.

“Brooke, you can’t break up with her and then get mad she’s going on a date with someone else.”

Brooke bristled. “No, that’s not it, that’s not it at all.”

There was a small silence as Yvie typed away at her screen, her eyebrows raised in a defiant show of disbelief. In the silence, Brooke gathered her thoughts.

“I’m just kinda…I don’t know. Not hurt, but…I mean I thought she cared about me a bit more than to be over me in the space of two weeks.”

Yvie gave a gasp, clutching at her heart. “Oh! The fragile ego of Miss Brooke Lynn Hytes. The wings of a moth cannot compare, nor the web of a spider!”

“You know, you can be a really shit friend when you want to be,” Brooke spat, getting up without a second thought and storming through to her bedroom. She threw herself down on her bed and curled up into a small ball, wishing the world would give her a break.

Her ego was hurt. Her pride was battered and bruised. She supposed she’d been so used to being revered and cared for in the eyes of Vanessa that she found it odd for that to no longer be the case. Brooke sighed. Yvie was right- she wasn’t supposed to care this much, she was supposed to be happy. Fuck, shouldn’t this have been the ideal outcome? Vanessa had moved on already.

So why did Brooke feel absolutely gutted?

She sat on her bed in the cold of her room, stewing in her thoughts, trying to figure them out and failing. She didn’t know how long she’d been there for but it had clearly been enough time for Yvie to make a cup of tea, as Brooke found when her flatmate gave a gentle knock on her door and shuffled in with the Sports Direct mug in her hand.

“Hey,” Yvie began, crossing the room and putting the mug down on Brooke’s cluttered bedside table. She sighed and lay down on top of Brooke in what could have been a cuddle or an attempt at smothering her to death. “Brooky, I’m sorry-”

“Don’t. She used to call me that and…” Brooke began, sighing when she couldn’t figure out why she had an issue with it. “I don’t know.”

Brooke wrestled an arm free from under Yvie’s stomach and brought it to rest over her back. It felt more like a cuddle now.

“I knew she was going on a date, by the way. Scarlet told me the other day. I just didn’t think you’d give a fuck,” Yvie said quietly. Brooke exhaled and felt her ribcage deflate.

“I didn’t think I would either,” she said, feeling small. There was a pause. “What’s her name?”

“Monique. The girl from Monet’s party with the purple hair,” Yvie said. It felt like a stab through Brooke’s chest. She remembered Monique, she remembered the way Vanessa had laughed at her stories and the way Monique had looked at her and the obvious chemistry between them. “If it helps, Brooke, I don’t think it’s going to be anything serious. Scarlet said that apparently she literally gave Vanjie her number and was like ‘In case you ever want a rebound’. They’ve been messaging all week. Tonight’s more of a 'fuck Valentine’s Day’ drink than anything else.”

Brooke thought about Vanessa’s perfect body, about her touching Monique the way she used to touch Brooke, talking to her like she used to talk to Brooke, someone else making her come apart the way Brooke used to. Brooke rolled out from under Yvie, grabbed her pillow, and buried her face in it, letting out a long, loud groan.

“Do you feel like you fucked it?” Brooke heard Yvie’s voice ask matter-of-factly. Brooke brought the pillow off her face and whined.

“No! No, I made the right decision. I didn’t want to be Vanessa’s girlfriend. It’s just fucking…weird. It doesn’t exactly fill me with glee thinking of her with somebody else, you know?”

Yvie smirked. “Because you know Monique’s going to fuck her better?”

Brooke launched the pillow at her flatmate, Yvie giggling. “Sorry! Sorry! Fuck, okay, point taken. Inappropriate.”

There was a silence. Yvie’s joke still hung in the air.

“Well, as long as you feel like your decision was correct,” Yvie smiled gently, patting Brooke’s thigh. “Then that’s the main thing. And it’s natural to get a little jealous.”

“I’m not jealous.”

“Sure, Jan,” Yvie raised her eyebrows and began to slide off Brooke’s bed. “Look, I’ve got to go get ready for dinner. You sure you’ll be fine?”

“Well I said it about twenty billion times, remember?” Brooke deadpanned, earning her a laugh from Yvie. “Just go. Go have fun. Have the best night, baby. You two deserve it.”

Yvie leant down and gave Brooke one last little squeeze before leaving her bedroom and going back into her own. Now she was alone with her thoughts Brooke wanted desperately to silence them so she grabbed her laptop and shoved on the least romantic film she could think of- Kingsman. As she sipped her tea and watched a man get completely sliced in half from skull to anus, she thought that would only be slightly less painful than what her emotions were currently putting her through.

As Taron Egerton refused to kill his dog, Yvie shouted a goodbye to Brooke.

As Colin Firth went absolutely mental in a church and killed everybody single-handedly, Brooke grabbed her phone and deleted all of her messages with Vanessa.

As the end credits rolled, Brooke wondered what the fuck she’d done. Two and a half years of friendship gone and deleted in the blink of an eye. But maybe it was for the best.

Brooke had been scrolling Netflix searching for something else to watch for what could have been an entire hour when she heard four things in rapid succession- the heavy bang of the front door, a scurry of hurried footsteps across the hall, the bang of Nina’s fire door and then a rapid sobbing that poured out of whoever was in the room and through Brooke’s wall. Brooke’s previously lethargic body sprang to life and she shot off her bed, took three quick steps to her door and hurried out into the hallway where she knocked on Nina’s.

“Nina? What’s happened?”

The sobbing continued from inside, Brooke unsure if the girl had even heard anything. Hesitantly, she pushed on the door.

“I’m coming in, okay?”

With no response other than more sobbing and a snuffle, Brooke entered Nina’s room. There was her usual organised dressing table with her makeup strewn all over it, indicative of a rushed getting-ready process. On her usually tidy floor was a mess of tried-on-and-rejected clothes, and there on the Aristocats-patterned duvet curled up with her stuffed teddy was Nina, absolutely crying her eyes out. Brooke practically vaulted the end of her bed to get to her flatmate who was squashed in between her pillows and the wall in the foetal position.

“Hey, hey, hey! What’s wrong?” Brooke asked her, pulling her close and wrapping her arms around her. Nina batted her away weakly.

“Don’t, Brooke, don’t, fuck, getting held is just going to remind me of her and I don’t-” Nina descended into another burst of sobs, Brooke completely and utterly confused.

“Monet? I thought you guys were fine? Oh my God, Nina, she didn’t break up with you?!” Brooke asked, scared and trying to fight the sinking feeling taking root in her chest. Nina elegantly wiped her nose on her teddy and pressed the heels of her palms into her eyes, rubbing harshly and leaving her looking like a human panda.

“She didn’t break up with me,” Nina sniffed, finally seeming to calm down.

“Oh, thank fuck.”

“I broke up with her.”

This was at least twenty times worse than what Brooke had feared. Pulling away, she fixed Nina with a look of complete incredulity. “You did what?!”

Nina rubbed at her eyes again, this time with her fingers. “Yeah, because obviously I can’t have anything fucking half-decent in my life without completely sabotaging it or making it go to shit, can I? I broke up with her, I’m a fucking idiot. Happy?”

Brooke could only blink in response as Nina leaned back and let her head hit the pillow, her stare boring into the ceiling. Her thoughts were all colliding. This was the most sudden and unexpected event, and it had completely knocked her for six. “Rewind. I thought you and Monet were fine?”

“We were fine,” Nina sighed so deeply that Brooke wasn’t sure she would have any air left in her lungs. “I was so fucking happy, Jesus. But there’s always a catch, right? Nobody can stay that happy forever, it’s always got to come to an end at some point.”

She stopped and sat up, propping her head against the headboard. Not looking Brooke in the eye, Nina continued. “She started being really distant with me. Not replying to texts for ages, being really deep in thought when we were together. I’d ask her what was wrong, but…she’d just always say nothing was. I was over at her flat the other night, we’d had a nap together and I woke up and she wasn’t there. I went into her living room and she was there with two of her flatmates. They stopped talking the second I got in, honestly I might as well have caught them all in the middle of a massive fucking orgy,” Nina laughed humourlessly. “And then it clicked. It all started after I told Monet about you and Vanessa. Nothing bad…just about how you weren’t sure, and how it’s better to just break up with somebody if you’re having second thoughts about them. It all made sense. Her being distant, always seeming off, obviously talking to her flatmates about it and having to stop because I came in. She didn’t fucking want me anymore, Brooke.”

Shocked, Brooke could only put her arms around her friend as she leaned into her chest and began to cry again. Nothing about it seemed to fit. Monet was absolutely head over heels for Nina, anyone could have seen it. It all seemed so out of the blue and sudden. Brooke tried to think about the last time Monet had been over at the flat. It had been about a week ago and Monet had seemed fine- although, now that Brooke thought about it, Monet had seemed a little quiet. Almost nervous, Brooke considered. But she was still cuddling Nina and giving her small kisses and paying her attention. It didn’t make any sense. Brooke frowned. “Nina, are you sure she actually wanted to break up with you?”

“I wondered it too. Because I didn’t want to believe it, of course. But then yesterday we were just lying in bed doing nothing. She was on her phone and my head was on her chest. I saw what was on her screen just for a second and she’d fucking-” Nina sighed, cutting herself off. “- typed this guy’s name into Google. Obviously some guy she’s met and she’s trying to find him on social media. I actually felt like I’d been stabbed, Brooke. Obviously she saw me, because she only got as far as the first name and then closed her phone. But I know what I saw, you know?”

Brooke’s frown only got deeper. “But that makes no sense. Why would she look someone up on Google, what is this, the fucking 90’s?”

“Brooke, you weren’t there. You should have seen how quickly she shut her phone off, and she was instantly all over me and telling me how lucky she was and-” Nina’s speech was interrupted by a bubble of a sob. “Oh fuck, it hurt so much. And today she woke up with me and was all "Happy Valentine’s Day!” and all that shit. I couldn’t do it, Brooke. I couldn’t make myself look like an idiot any longer. I suggested going for coffee and while we were out I just…I just fucking did it. Oh my God, it was so so bad, Brooke. She looked so fucking destroyed and she was so pissed off with me that I thought it was all a mistake but…fuck, I didn’t know what to believe. I don’t know. I don’t even know what I’ve done.“

Brooke sighed, desperately not wanting to believe it was over between the two girls. "But didn’t she explain herself? I mean what did you actually say to her? Did you confront her?”

“Jesus, no! No, I didn’t want to make it look like I was this poor, lovesick, pining idiot who was making a fool of herself over her! I jumped before I was pushed. I pretended I was the one whose feelings had changed, that it wasn’t working for me anymore. It was all a crock of shit, but she obviously believed it.”

Brooke bit the skin at the side of her thumb. There was a silence. “But didn’t she try to make you stay? Didn’t she fight for you?”

“She-” Nina cut herself off. Brooke looked down and saw tears pouring down her face, and her heart broke. “- she just sat and looked at me. Something in her eyes just…shut down. They just went all glassy, like those black marbles you got as a kid, remember? Anyway I said my piece and she just…ugh, she just nodded. She just nodded and went "Right. Got it.” in the most cold voice and then she got up, put on her coat and left. And I let her.“

With that, Nina swept her hands under her eyes and heaved a gut-wrenching shudder of a sigh. Brooke was at a loss of what to say. She had thought Nina and Monet were made for each other, and the fact that Nina had thrown it away for the sake of what Brooke was sure had to be a misunderstanding was gutting. She heaved a similar sigh to Nina’s.

"Look at us. It’s Valentine’s Day, we’re both single, we’re both here regretting breaking up with someone-”

“Wait what?” Nina asked suddenly, eyeing Brooke with suspicion. It was only then that Brooke had realised what she’d said. Startled, she backtracked.

“Well, I mean, not regretting breaking up with her, just regretting causing her hurt,” she said, Nina nodding quietly. Although Brooke was still spooked. Why had that thought popped into her head, let alone out of her mouth? She didn’t regret breaking up with Vanessa. It was the ick, just like Plastique had said. She had changed her mind. She couldn’t exactly change it back.

Could she?

“Why don’t we watch a film? I’ll bring my laptop through, get snacks from the kitchen. You don’t even need to move from this room. Or this bed,” Brooke suggested, ignoring the dangerous thoughts swirling round her mind. Nina gave a sniff and a silent nod.

“21 Jump Street?” she offered hopefully, Brooke unable to help the small laugh that escaped her mouth at the suggestion.

“This from the queen of Disney?”

“Disney’s too happy for me right now,” Nina moped, wiggling underneath her duvet cover. Brooke screwed up her face.

“Too happy? C’mon, you’ve seen Bambi. And Lion King. And Big Hero 6. And-”

“Brooke I swear to God if you don’t go get your laptop and stick on 21 Jump Street,” Nina warned, not finishing the empty threat. Laughing, Brooke did as she was told. She could only hope that the film would be enough of a distraction to her and to Nina for the next two hours.

She had no idea what they’d do once those two hours were up.