#im still not entirely sure if id like her to be my girlfriend (because I fear that would be an unkindness to her) but I do want her to know
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there really never is a good time to tell someone you have feelings for them, is there?
#gopher rambles#complaining#ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#every day I think 'I should tell her I like her' but then I think of all these reasons that it would be a bad idea#im still not entirely sure if id like her to be my girlfriend (because I fear that would be an unkindness to her) but I do want her to know#its only fair. shes been a good friend and she deserves to know that my actions arent for entirely platonic reasons#but Im also afraid of losing her as a friend#genuinely looking for advice if anyone has any
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Worlds shittiest super power: Spidey senses for when your crush is single again but has given 0 indication for it. And you aren't in a position to do anything about it
#we're back on main again#id been almost entirely over him#largely thanks to finally meeting his girlfriend and absolutely loving her#this weekend would have been their anniversary#a fact i should not know off the top of my head#but i did#and I also noticed he was responding to messages (both dm and gc) a lot more than i expected for an anniversary weekend#thought it was weird and wondered if theyd broken up#but thats ridiculous thats not enough information to make that leap#then this morning i got a text asking if i could give him a ride to dnd and that his girlfriend wouldnt be joining#i always give him a ride but hadnt last time because he said he and his girlfriend would be driving together#that was enough of a red flag to go check both of their Instagrams#all pictures still up#still dismissed it#got to his place and asked how his weekend was#weird silence#then he said not great#sure enough he broke up with her#im usually socially clueless and then i have leaps of connection like this#this happened the other time he went through a break up too#i had not enough info and still knew before he said anything#both times i was the first to know and it took him a few days to tell everyone else#this time we got to dnd and others commented on her not being there and he didnt say anything#I'm the only one#i cant even do anything because hes leaving the country in a month
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Dont Get Caught
paige bueckers x (female) reader
down bad reader + even more down bad paige
warnings:
pure smut (sorry in advance) mdni !!!
use of bad language
kinda public sex
i watched from the stands as my girlfriend scored the game winning 3 pointer. it was an extremely close game. she immediately locks eyes with me before smiling and running to her teammates and celebrating together. she was definitely getting it tonight.
i made my way from my seat to the sidelines where i congratulated everyone on the team making sure to give azzi and molly a hug. by now the whole team knew me and paige were dating, considering we’ve been together for almost 7 months, it was kind of hard to hide. but imagine how hard it is to keep it from the media. with reporter after reporter trying to get a chance to talk to all the girls, i couldn’t just go up to her and kiss her without someone taking a picture. i didn’t mind the media knowing and i know she didn’t either, but to be fair we did agree to wait.
i just sat down in a chair on the sidelines scrolling through tiktok liking pretty much every post that had to do with paige in some way. she was still getting interviewed while the rest of the girls had already made their way out of the locker room.
as she finished up, she finally walked into the locker room, clearly not noticing i was right behind her. i managed to get past anyone trying to take pictures as i walked in after her. i dont know how she was so oblivious to my presence.
“hi baby, you played so good” i said while smiling, still behind her.
“holy shit” she said practically jumping as she turned around to look at me. “how did you get in here without anyone noticing” she laughed
“they were all focused on azzi, just wanted to congratulate you” i beamed happily
“well thank you, im so glad you were able to come i know how behind you are on school shit”
she walked towards me wrapping her arms around my waist. i instinctively put mine around her neck. the eye contact we held could make anyone fold, and i was trying so hard not to. i wanted her to kiss me first, i don’t give in that easy even when it comes to paige fucking bueckers.
after what literally felt like hours she finally kissed me, my hands going straight to her hair that was still in a ponytail. i pulled off the hair tie making her groan into my mouth at the feeling of relief.
she lightly tapped my thigh to signal for me to jump. and of course i did because id do anything for this girl. she lifted me up making me wrap my legs around her waist. still not breaking the kiss, paige carried me to the counter where the sinks were and set me down before pulling at my shirt for me to remove it.
“paige not here we’re gonna get caught.” i mumbled before pulling away
“cmon baby everyone already grabbed their stuff out of here, no ones coming back.” she reassured me with her infamous smirk
i reluctantly nodded my head accepting the fact that if we get caught its on her. i pulled of my shirt and watched her immediately unclip my bra. she stared at me for a minute before speaking, “you’re so fucking beautiful im so damn lucky.”
i blushed, usually i was the one praising her and giving her compliments. must be the post-win feeling getting to her. nonetheless i appreciated her words even though they made me practically melt.
we reconnected our lips, her hand playing with my nipple sent a wave of ecstasy through my entire body. she pulled away again this time to remove my sweatpants, leaving them at my ankles because deep down i think she knew there was a good chance someone might walk in. she marveled at how soaked my red laced underwear was and i felt my self sheepishly covering my face. her hands were quick to pull mine away.
“this wet for me hm? and i haven’t even done anything yet.” she smirked again and pulled down my underwear. i was now fully exposed and she still had her uniform on.
“paige come on take it off.” i said motioning to her uniform and feeling quite embarrassed knowing i was the only one with out a single piece of clothing on.
she complied without a complaint and stripped down to her sports bra and boxers. i see her like this almost every night and it still amazes me how gorgeous she is. running my hand down her toned stomach i start spewing out compliment after compliment before she starts kissing my neck, making me shut up and throw my head back.
her hand thats not on my waist is touching everywhere but wear i need her. im sitting at the edge of the counter at this point, our bodies are flushed together skin to skin.
“please p.. i need you” i murmured quietly when her kisses started getting lower and lower. i just know that there were going to be bruises from where she was sucking in the morning.
“yeah? where do you need me baby use your words.” she said softly against my skin making me shiver. her long fingers finally touching my clit as she moved her fingers at an agonizingly slow pace. “here?”
“mhm- oh shit.. paige please just fuck me already ” i stuttered through my sentence and she laughed
“you want my mouth or my fingers ma?” she said as she made eye contact with me. the nickname repeated in my head, usually i wouldn’t let any girl call me that but it just felt so different when my girlfriend said it.
i debated between the two when i finally settled on an answer and said “both” she just laughed and told me to let her know if it gets to be too much. always so full of herself..
she sat in front of me on her knees spreading my legs apart. she didn’t even break the eye contact before her tongue started circling my clit.
“fuck p, you always know how to make me feel good.” i moaned leaning my head back on to the wall behind me.
i could feel her fucking smirking.
that just encouraged her to move her tongue faster and harder against my clit. she quickly got me to my climax and i grabbed at the back of her head pulling her closer and letting out a string of curses and moans to signal that i was close. she didn’t slow down though, she continued until i begged her to stop when the pleasure got so intense. she pulled away and stood up and kissed me, making me taste myself on her mouth.
“you did so good baby, can you do one more for me?” she cooed against my mouth and i quickly nodded my head, desperate to feel her again.
she brought to fingers to my mouth urging me to suck, to which i complied. her eyes were glued to my mouth as i took her fingers into my mouth. when she pulled them out she brought them right back to my entrance.
“oh fuck.” i moaned at the feeling of her fingers moving in me, immediately hitting my g-spot. she knew my body so well.
my moans encouraged her to speed up “can you take another one?” she challenged and i was so incoherent from the pleasure i could only mumble an “mhm” and nod my head while gripping at her shoulder.
she added another finger and i knew i couldn’t last much longer. my legs started shaking and my hand flew to my mouth to cover any screams that threatened to slip. she immediately tore my hand away.
“no i wanna hear you and know exactly how i make you feel.” she said cockily with a smirk plastered on her face. using her free hand she grabbed my leg and put it over her shoulder, increasing how deep her fingers went in me. i couldn’t take it any longer and i came all over her fingers. she slowed down her pace and removed her fingers before praising me for how good i did for her.
she put her clothes back on because there wasn’t enough time for me to make her “feel good.” i tried to jump down from the counter but i immediately felt my knees buckle from beneath me, luckily page grabbed my arms. she helped me put my shirt and sweatpants back on.
“hey paige?! have you seen my water bottle?” kk said as we heard to door to the locker room open. i quickly fixed my hair to look more presentable and paige walked around the corner and over to kk.
“yeah its out by the bench on the sidelines.” paige replied quickly ushering her out.
“oh um okay.. thanks?” kk didnt further question paiges weird behavior and instead walked away.
paige came back over to me and i put my shoes on before giving her a kiss. not a sexual one, i was just so proud of her.
“we could’ve gotten caught p, we gotta be more careful.” i said jokingly as we left the locker room, being careful to avoid any cameras.
“yeah that could’ve been really bad.. good thing you finish fast.” she said the last part as a whisper and that shut me up immediately. yeah she was gonna get it the second we get back to our apartment.
author speaks- guys im nervous this is my first post. constructive criticism is welcome!!
#paige bueckers#paige bueckers x reader#wlw smut#ncaa#18+ mdni#paige bueckers smut#basketball#dont get caught#wnba#caitlin clark#kate martin#caitlin clark smut
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alrighty, so i was 9 think. the school day was ending, i even remember the sun going down. i was alone with my teacher until a odd woman id never seen before came in. she came in with whatever permission to take me, not sure in what medium, papers/documents? maybe. i cried when we left, so was my teacher. then i was in her car in the back, leaning a bit, really tired and bored. it was a drive all the way up to maine.
the big house was beautiful and near the water, but thats about where the beauty ended. this woman used to be my moms partner, though they seperated a short time after my grabdmother passed, i never met my grandparents either. so this woman is Paula, and she had a partner of her own at the house, dont remember her name but she slim and tall. always yelled at me,
that slim woman is the reason i came back to my mother petrified of showers and water in my face
i was showering just fine on my own (i think maybe) but she seemed like she had a horrible, anoyying job to do. stuck my face direct into the shower. i wasnt okay but she tried and i guess succeded in having me stay like that, like as if for my own. i flaided and scratched at her, but she threatend putting a bar of soup in my mouth if i didnt stop.
that was also the same time i slipped and fell tummy first on the side of the bathtub. id never gotten the wind knocked out of me before, so i thought i was dying.
and my siblings lived in the same house.
thatcher was my brother, he was nice i think, autistic like myself to, but somewhere on a different spectrum. didnt exactly seem interestd in anything, but content. didnt really talk.
my sister……..hunter. hunter hated my guts the second i came. and still did by the end, horribly so. she hated me because of paula, paula lied to her from the start, making her think my mom, her actual mom, didnt want her. i tried looking up to her, like a example, but she always was embarred to be around me, pushing me back into a feeling i didnt get at the time, just broke my heart, i was aware siblings loved eachother so i really blamed myself around her, and i was isolated even further. i stopped trying to please her a bit later, i didnt want to try anymore.
my room was the closet, my bed was a sort of sitting up camper bed. it was really narrow, but….i have to admit, i loved that one small window inside my room, i really liked just sitting there looking at the sky, and wishing to go home.
i was also forced to eat many foods at any quanity, it was vile, distgusting.
i was always yelled at, because i couldnt seem to do a single thing right, the whole year, i was isolated and taught i was a problem.
thats why i say sorry too much. its also the reason i flinch when mom even tries to hug me, how i get so frighted by any loud speaking because im in trouble,
i was used as a tool to hurt my own mother by that woman. i was used as a weapon.
used as a weapon on my own mom
its the main reason i wish to kill myself everyday.
i do not beleive in kind words and comments. i am a monster.
i am a monster
my mom tried everything in the book back then to come get me, nothing worked for a entire year. near the end of the year, my moms new-ish girlfriend was close to her grandfather. her grandfather was in the mafia.
that man, he gifted my mom enough money to come get me, without hesiation. i…..i owe that man. he's long sinced passed, and i even never met him either. but i owe him.
i came back home not as a child
but as a monster. and thats how its always been
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been seeing a lot of matchups in your blog lately and I wanted to give it a go. ❄️
Gemini, INTP, bi-ace. 158 cm with straight black hair and tan skin. My outfit style is emo/punk. Pretty much just blacks and reds. Interest lies in world history, digital drawing, writing, musicals, and otome games... Too much of a romance sucker that these fictional men have raised my standards a bit too high. That and romance books too. A bit of a neat freak even if my mind is a jumbled mess. I love learning in general so I would always have one day interests or queries. The other day I wanted to learn how to do a full split (didn’t work out but still trying), yesterday learned European etiquette for the nobility. That kind of thing. Very much an introvert, no I will not come out but when we do go out I’ll make sure to put my full attention to you and the event and only whine in my head when we go back home about how tiring that was.
I may also have a thing for being marked (kind of like cute aggression and they just randomly bite or nip me) but its not as if I’d say that out loud lmao. I may have a resting bitch face but I swear I’m a bit naiive when it comes to social cues and not mad at ya. I once had a coworker during lunch deadpan tell me that the nearby school had it’s own McDonalds and I replied “oh that’s cool!!” with stars in my eyes and she then said she was joking. She felt bad at my enthusiasm. Well a lot of things are possible so I didn’t even question it. Another one would be the time I went on a bus for the first time in years and I shouted out to stop nowhere near a bus stop and everyone looked at me weirdly. It’s one of those embarrassing memories that haunt me.
baby imma be entirely honest with you ??? im just as naive as you. you could tell me abe lincoln is your grandfather and I'd believe you. i wouldn't even question it or the mathematics of this claim, id just be like 'damn, that's nice !! sucks that he got shot tho'
for you my fellow naive friend, i give !! :
both peter and gwen !! because us naive people deserve the double trouble couple 🙈
seating in the corner if the room, you frowned deeply while hearing both laugh on front of you. this was absolutely not funny. your predicament was not funny.
they were the worst for laughing at you had to suffer the memories of your own embarrassing past.
you know these moments in life that you get and they're so embarassing that they stick in your brain for like, forever ? and they come back to haunt you from time to time, sending you through a physically painful reaction ? these moments that you get and you wish no one around you was a mind reader because they had to be buried in the darkest corner of your brain, for the rest if eternity ?
well these moments you had a few, one of them worse than others. this moment you shared it with your boyfriend and girlfriend. you didn't really know why but you didn't mind. not until they started cooing at you and laughing very, very, very loudly.
you felt so embarrassed you hid under your own hoodie, tucking in your legs and hiding yourself on a corner of the seat. you whined and groaned as they laughed harder, giggling to themselves. this was absolutely humiliating and you hated them just enough to put dishsoap on their toothpaste.
"this is not that funny ! stop laughing !" you exclaimed, glaring at both as you saw peter roll to the floor.
your words had the opposite effect, making them laugh a little harder the more they looked at your face.
"this is... this is absolutely hilarious actually..." mumbled gwen, trying to catch her breath and get peter to stop rolling around on the carpet like an idiot.
he turned to you and collapsed on himself, laughing still. sick of dealing with his mockery, you stood up, marching towards him and stepping on him repeatedly.
"you buffoon ! stop laughing at me ! i genuinely hope you stub your toe on the sharpest corner there is out there !" you threatening, gritting your teeth when he only laughed hardee.
you watched him catch his breath, wiping tears of amusement from his eyes and sitting up to look up to you.
"you thought... you thought the school had a macdonald and you didn't question anything !"
"i was young !" you exclaimed to save faces.
"you were a worker ! you had a job ! seems pretty grown to me !" he chuckled, shrugging his shoulders and dodging your feet.
you narrowed your eyes as he jumped back up to seat back on the bed next to gwen. both stared at you, observing your displeased expression.
it was rare for anyone other than them to see you this vivid and expressive. you were known for your natural RBF and difficulty to communicate.
truth is, you weren't difficult to get through, you just needed to be comfortable and making you comfortable had been peter and gwen's mission as soon as they met you. both pieces of sunshine, you were the moon and god did they love their moon. you were the one who brought the stars out and revealed the many secrets hidden under your deep dark sky.
"you both deserve to get shat on by pigeons. mostly you parker. i hope while you're doing all that swinging, you crash into a bird and it bites you."
"bunny, birds don't have teeth." frowned gwen, smiling slightly.
"yeah they do ! you told me they did !" you screamed, pointing an accusing finger at your girlfriend while the boy tried to hide his face in her shoulder.
"i was kidding !" exclaimed the blond girl, laughing louder than ever. "oh my god, you're adorable !"
you groaned, hiding your face in your hands and going back to your seat. peter, being quicker than you quickly webbed the back of your shirt to pull you to his lap. you spun backwards, falling on both your lovers. they kept cooing at you while you attempted to flee from their grasps. you were being detained against your will and you would not stand this.
"stay still bunny, or i'll bite you." he threatened, kissing the side of your face.
you stilled automatically, your brain screaming for you to move. he knew which button to push to get you to listen. you were a sucker for marks and being marked, it wasn't you fault.
"awww, look at you listening so well. you really like it when he bites." teased gwen, her hands caressing your calves.
you glared at her, hiding your face in yours hands again. they would kill you one day.
"now that you're calm, tell us more about that school that had its own macdonalds."
nevermind, you would kill them.
#•°jin's 1k sleepover°•#•° jin replies <3°•#tasm!peter parker x reader#tasm!peter parker imagine#tasm peter parker#peter parker x reader#gwen stacy#gwen stacy x reader#gwen stacy x peter parker#gwen stacy imagine#poly relationship
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Fake Dating- Peter Parker x Stark!Reader
Request: Hi! Can you write a Stark!Reader x Peter Parker (Andrew please) were they’re fake dating because May was starting to catch onto the Spider-Man gig? They end up catching feelings and are scared to admit it? I hope this made sense! Thank you!
Word Count: 1.5k
A/N; id love some feedback on this! and let me know if youd like a part 2
“So, let me get this straight” Peter nodded for you to continue “You want to fake date?” He nodded again. You gave him a questioning look. “Care to explain or no?”.
“Right, right. So, Aunt May is starting to catch on. The other day, I came home all dirty from helping people and she looked at me like I just killed someone. So, you know about the spiderman thing so that's not a problem. And since your my best friend” He gave a sweet smile “i figure, when she finds out we've been ‘dating’ she’ll think thats why Ive been acting strange.” He explained like it made absolute sense. It didn't. You were contemplating throwing him off of the roof you where stood on.
“righttttt...” You looked at him strangely. “How do you know it'll work?” you had a feeling this was gonna go very wrong.
“well, you know- you know, she's aunt May, shell believe it” There was also another problem.
“You know if my dad gets wind of this he will literally kill you right? Like he will 100 percent get all the avengers to murder you, and then he’ll bring you back to life, then re-kill you himself” You stated dramatically. He paled then gave you a look. That look. The look that he had given you for the last 5 years. The ‘im right just trust me on this one’ look. 9 times out of ten he wasn't right. But for the sake of both of you, you hoped this was the one time he was right.
“Fine fine, ill be your fake girlfriend or whatever” You groaned leaning into his shoulder.
“Wow, (Y/N) act more believable” He joked.
“Ah, Peter Parker, of course ill be your fake girlfriend!” You laughed loudly, shoving him.
“Shh, she might hear you!” He joined in, throwing his head back in laughter. After the laughter died down, you lay your head on Peters shoulder. You looked out into the sunset. It made you feel weird. Peter Parker's girlfriend. No. Peter Parker's fake girlfriend.
As the night was getting late, you decided to make your walk home, not before making your ‘relationship’ very clear to Aunt May. She was sat in the living room as Peter walked you to the door. As he opened the door for you, May looked your way, so you stood on your tiptoes and pressed a quick kiss to Peters lips before scurrying out the door. He lifted a finger to his lips and blushed. Obviously Aunt May, who’d known you for 5 years and had never seen you kiss Peter, had some questions.
“Peter? What was that about?” Her question pulled him out of his romantic state. Its just because she's your best friend, He told himself.
“uh-h” He awkwardly laughed. Why was he so hopeless. “She's my girlfriend, now, actually” He mumbled tentatively. Before he knew it, Aunt May had gotten up and swooped him into a hug.
“I always knew you two had something going on!” She cheered. He furrowed his brows but hugged back nonetheless. Why would she think that? He shrugged of the thought and told Aunt May he was going to bed.
“Hey Parker! Hows ‘the plan’ going?” You jogged up to him as he made is way through the school corridors, clutching his camera. “She believe it?”
“y-yeah she did” He noted as you fist pumped the air. He thought you looked amazingly beautiful today. As you two stepped outside, he spotted a cleared bench, he longed to take a photo of you.
“(Y/N)?” He asked getting your attention. “Stand righttttt there” He pointed towards the clear bench as you happily jogged over and stood on it. Peter had always taken photos of you, but today it felt different. For him at least.
“Like this?” You giggled as you struck a pose.
“Yeah yeah, exactly like that” he threw his head back in laughter as he snapped plenty of photos at your ridiculous poses.
“(Y/N)! Parker!” Your photography fun was immediately stopped by the dreaded voice of Flash Thompson, making his way over.
“uh oh” You whispered to Peter as he helped you jump from the bench.
“I hear she's your new girlfriend” Flash nodded towards you, grinning devilishly. You and Peter looked at each other.
“Yeah- Yeah she is” He was trying to be brave. It wasn't working very well.
“Lay off, Flash” You both turned your heads your Gwen Stacey, the girl Peter had been crushing on for a few weeks. Although, he didn't feel like that any more.
“Come on, Gwen. You cant seriously believe this can you. Little Peter Parker dating famous Tony Stark’s beautiful, intelligent daughter?” You felt disgusted at his comment, so did Gwen. “Does Daddy even know? Nah, he couldn't, Parker would be dead by now. Or has Daddy just lost his game? Not as strong as he used to be. You could feel that Peter was about to say something out of anger, so you quickly moved your hand to hold his, even though anger was coursing through your veins
“Listen, Flash Thompson” The group of students surrounding the scene got slowly bigger. “im not dating ‘little Peter Parker’ im dating Peter Parker, a guy who is 10 times more smart and intelligent and handsome as you'll ever be. So why don't you go listen to Mommy’ nodding towards Gwen. “And lay off. Oh wait! You don't have a Mommy” You made a mock sad face then giggled. The entire group was in shock, even Peter. Okay maybe it was a bit uncalled for, but he shouldn't have insulted your dad.
Flashs’ face turned magenta as he balled his fist and tried to throw a punch. You ducked under his fist. Your dad had taught you to fight once you could walk.
“Wow! You just tried to hit a girl” You smiled incredulously, while Flash was still bright red. “Thats fine, im all for feminism, ya know, equal rights equal fights” You said nonchalantly. “You shouldn't have punched Tony Starks daughter though” You added, right as your fist connected with his jaw and our foot connected with his nether regions. You grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back as the ever expanding group cheered. Just as you were about to stand on top him, Peter grabbed you and pulled you away.
“Okay, enough fighting, avengers style” He dragged you inside the hallway.
“He deserved it for what he was saying” You grumbled.
“Im sure he did but-” Peter paused as he saw the principle and two concerned looking teachers, making their way down the hallway. “Rain check?” He whispered.
“Yep!” You whispered back as you jumped onto his back and he sped of, out of the school.
“You have to admit, it was pretty cool” You grinned at Peter as he fixed up the cuts on your knuckles.
“It was cool. You knocked out Flash Thompson. ‘The’ Flash Thompson. But you got yourself hurt in the process” He whined.
“Wow, Mr ‘im-spiderman-and-i-risk-my-life-everyday Is telling me about danger, okay I see how it is” You joked.
“You know what I mean” He grinned. As he finished wrapping your hands, you heard footsteps coming upstairs. “Its Aunt May. What do we do?” Before you could think of anything, you instinctively brought his lips to yours and your hand fell into his hair. He kissed back passionately, like his entire life had been leading up to this moment. It sent a flurry of butterflies into your stomach. He felt the same thing. His lips tingled and his hand lay on your waist. You had officially caught feelings. And so had he. You heard the door open and kept your eyes tightly shut and lips moving.
“You got into a fi-” You furrowed your brows, that didn't sound like Aunt May. You moved away from Peters loving kiss to face the door. The second you saw who it was your face turned bright red, you were done for.
“Dad?!” You shrieked. Peter was drawn from his daze, dreaming of you beautiful lips, by your loud voice.
“Mr. Stark” He almost fell out of his chair at the sight of Tony Stark, Happy and Aunt May, all stood in the door in shock.
“Alright, Spiderling, hands off my daughter” Your dad hurried over and grasped your hand, gently shoving you out the room. Of course Tony Stark knew about him.
“s-see you later, Parker” You muttered. After Tony left, Aunt May shut the door awkwardly, returning to living room. And once, he was left alone with his thoughts. His thoughts about you.
#peter parker#spiderman#peter parker x reader#mcu fic#mcu#marvel#spiderman x reader#andrew garfield#andrew garfield x reader#andrew garfield spiderman#peter parker imagine
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Forget You (Kuroo x Reader)
A/N: This one is told entirely from Kuroos pov except for the very beginning. Because, Reader's pov wouldn't have been sad. As she doesn't remember him by the time they see eachother again. Edit: Y'all deadass let me not have the theme in here since the 24th. The theme has been added as of the 29th.
WARNINGS: None really? Angst Kuroo is a sad boy. Tooth rotting fluff from Bokuto i guess if that counts as a warning. Kuroo yells at you in the beginning.
Date: Saturday October 24th, 2020
Details: 5.5 pages 2,040 words
Theme: Stranger- when you get heartbroken you have the option of forgetting the person who caused the heart break as long as you say the word stranger with enough conviction while thinking about the person you want to forget.
Angst masterlist
“I can’t fucking stand you! Why are you so Goddamn annoying!” I took a step back as I looked at Kuroo “All I asked was to meet your friends! Since you talk about them all the time!” I yelled back. I didn’t know what had made him so mad we had been dating for six months having been roommates previously.
“And I told you no so why didn’t you accept that?” I shook my head “Actually you just started yelling at me-" “God see! You always have to be fucking right about everything!” I flinched as his voice raised more “You know what? Get the fuck out,” I looked up at him “w-what?” I voiced “Get your shit and get out I don’t wanna see you again. I’m breaking up with you,” My other roommate Kenma had finally come out of his room at that “Hey Kuroo-" I held up my hand to stop Kenma “No…its okay i-i'll leave but I’m leaving my stuff here until I have a new place. Kenma I leave it in your care,” my voice was shaky as I turned.
“Y/n…,” I shook my head at Kenma “I…I’ll see you later Kenma. Kuroo,” I turned a glare on him to see he was already glaring at me “I hope I never fucking see you again,” I turned on my heel leaving the apartment with heavy footsteps. It was sunset and my feet carried me to the trains I took a random one and let my feet carry me as I ended up at park. I had no idea where I was but I couldn’t find myself to care as I cried.
I wiped my tears slightly thinking about Kuroo and I knew then I didn’t want him to occupy my thoughts anymore. I looked at the sunset and focused before saying the word with as much conviction and venom as I could muster. “Stranger,” I blinked a few times and rubbed my eyes.
More tears leaked out of my eyes when I recalled my roommate Kenma had kicked me out of our apartment. “Where am I?” I whispered sighing as I realized my phone was dead.
“Excuse me…Are you okay?” I turned my head looking at a guy who stood next to the bench. He had what appeared to be silver and black hair his head tilted slightly to the side casting half his face in the dying sunlight. I vaguely noticed that his eyes were gold and seemed to glow despite no light being cast on them. “I…I think so?” I voiced as I looked back at him.
“You think so? Why are you crying in the park then?” He got closer and sat on the other side of the bench. “My roommate kicked me out of our apartment and my phone is dead so…,” I looked away as he hummed “Um…You could stay at my place,” I turned back to look at him with wide eyes. “I don’t even know your name and you’re asking me to stay at your place? Do you know that makes you sound like a serial killer?” He laughed suddenly eyes crinkling in mirth.
“Sorry I’ve been told I’m too nice by my teammates. Im Bokuto Koutarou,” He held out a hand giving me a smile. I took his hand and mirrored the smile “Y/n L/n. You’re on a sports team?” His smile widened suddenly and in his excitement he pulled me closer still holding onto my hand “Yeah! Volleyball I play for the MSBY Black Jackals,” he puffed his chest with a sense of pride causing me to laugh.
“Volleyball huh? Sounds like fun,” He nodded rapidly “It is! You should come to one of my games- ah sorry! I’ve been talking about me when you’re the one who’s sad,” I shook my head with a smile as he let go of my hands eyes wide in panic “Its okay. I’m not sad anymore but I think I will take you up on that offer as long as you promise not to hurt me,” I held up my pinky towards him giggling lightly.
He smiled widely hooking his pinky with my own “I promise. This will be the best adventure of your life,” I nodded at him “I’ll hold you too that Bokuto,” He chuckled at me
“Deal Y/n,”
Two years.
It had been two years since I’d seen the love of my life. I regretted it everyday since our argument and Kenma never made me feel better about it. “No she never talks about you or asks. And I don’t bring you up,” was the last thing he told me when I asked about her. I never meant to yell or kick her out and I’d never forgiven myself for it. She had blocked my number fairly quickly and Kenma never told me where she was.
“Hey Kuroo pay attention to the game,” Kenma voiced causing me to zone back in and stop thinking about Y/n. I sighed “Why are we even here?” I asked watching Bokuto preform a cross-shot that had the audience screaming. “Bokuto said he wanted to say something and he wanted all of us there,” I shrugged “He’s probably just gonna tell us that he’s got a spot on the Japanese Olympics team,” I sighed out while Kenma clicked his tounge. “Sure…,” I looked at him “Kenma do you know something I don’t?” Before he could answer the whistle blew announcing the Black Jackals as the winners of the match.
Kenma stood “Let’s go congratulate them,” I stood with him as he walked off “Hey you didn’t answer the question!” He kept a quick pace ahead of me while I followed. We stepped onto the court Kenma immediately going to Hinata I couldn’t see Bokuto but my eyes caught sight of a familiar face standing by the Miya twins. She laughed at something Atsumu said and laughed harder when Osamu added something that caused Atsumu to glare at him.
I gasped as I looked at her she looked just as beautiful as she did the last time I saw her. H/l h/c hair cascaded down her back her e/c eyes sparkled brightly like gems she wore a Black Jackals jersey and a pair of jeans both of which hugged her figure in just the right way. I let my feet carry me towards her knowing I needed to apologize. I didn’t know why she was here but Kenma probably invited her so I could see her.
“Y/n!” I called when I was close enough she turned her eyes meeting mine. I expected many emotions to pass her face in all the times I pictured seeing her again. Anger, sadness, happiness, etc. But confusion was never one that crossed my mind. “I’m sorry…Do I know you?” she asked causing my eyes to widen in shock. “No…You couldn’t have…,” I voiced quietly. She stared at me offering a slight smile but nowhere in her expression did I see any form of recognition. And I knew then she had forgotten me entirely.
I smiled back realizing I could start over with her “Sorry I’m Kuroo Tetsuro…You’re very beautiful,” her face turned pink slightly and the Miya twins laughed. Suddenly I saw familiarity light up her eyes and I smiled thinking she remembered me. “Oh! I know you! You’re the friend that Kou always wants me to meet! He gets so sad everytime you blow him off,” she frowned slightly at the end. Causing me to frown as I realized she really didn’t remember. But I also frowned at the name it was vaguely familiar though I couldn’t place where. “Kou?” I mumbled quietly to myself.
“Excuse me! Can I have everyone’s attention?” the gym quieted down everyone knew Bokuto was announcing something so most of the audience had stayed to listen. We all turned to the source of the voice and I noted that he looked beyond nervous for whatever he planned to say.
“I’d like for my beautiful girlfriend to come here,” The twins suddenly shoved Y/n forward causing her to stumble a bit but she walked forward anyway. I froze as the name connected in my mind on why its so familiar 'Kou…Koutarou' 'She calls me Kou and its so cute!' I saw her stop next to him and they smiled at each other “Oh fuck,” I whispered to myself as Kenma slid over. Bokuto was fidgeting slightly and rocking on the balls of his feet a telling sign that he was anxious.
“I’ve got something to say and I’ve thought about it for awhile,” he sent a reassuring smile at her when he noticed she looked nervous. He took a deep breath before continuing “Two years ago I found you crying in a park. I remember you told me that your roommate kicked you out and you called me a serial killer,” she turned red as he and others laughed.
I realized then that the day they met was the same day we broke up. “I took a leap of faith that day and told you that you could stay with me even though I had no reason to,” He chucked lightly at the pink dusting her cheeks “At the time I never would predicted that by the six month mark I would have fallen in love with you,” I frowned at the collective aw leaving the audiences mouths. 'That should be me' I thought as I watched the two of them.
“And after a year and a half I’ve decided that I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy. I want to wake up with you next to me, I want to laugh at everything and nothing with you, I want to spend nights with you wrapped in my arms as we talk about whatever comes to mind,” a pink flush had taken over his face and from behind me I heard a sniffle.
“Tsumu are you crying?” I heard “Shut the fuck up Samu,” Kenma snorted next to me at the twins. “I want these things because I’m so completely and Irrevocably in love with you so…,” I watched Bokutos eyes flicker to Akaashi who nodded at him. He dropped to one knee and everything became a buzz as I zoned in on Y/n the audience gasping was barely audible to me as I watched her cover her mouth with her hand her eyes were bright and glassy and every fiber of my being screamed at me to stop this. ‘Get her back! Stop him!’ my mind screamed. I couldn’t move though I was frozen on the spot feeling like id just been doused with freezing cold water.
“Will you do me the honor of continuing this adventure and marry me?” I could hear Bokuto but it sounded so distant to me. ‘No! Say no!’ My mind screamed louder but I felt my heart crack as she nodded in response. He got back up to wrap his arms around her picking her up he spun her around a few times and buried his face in the crook of her neck pressing light kisses to her shoulder.
‘Get away from her!’ I shook my head as I watched him slip a silver band on her finger. I caught sight of the f/c gem attached to it. It was surrounded by small yellow gems that matched Bokuto's eyes. He kissed her cheek as everyone cheered and congratulated them. She pulled back pulling out a small envelope and pressing it into his hands. He looked at her and opened it before his eyes lit up even more. He whispered something to her to which she nodded at. His excitement couldn’t be contained as he picked her up again “I’m gonna be a dad!” He didn’t need the mic this time plenty loud enough without it but it reignited the audience’s excitement as they screamed again.
He placed her down wrapping an arm around her waist and finally I watched my entire world shatter and heart crumble as the love of my life kissed her fiancé and father of her children.
‘That should have been me'
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TAGLIST: @wonhomarshmallow
#haikyu#haikyu x reader#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu!!#kuroo tetsuro#kuroo x reader#kuroo angst#bokuto koutarou#bokuto x reader#bokuto fluff#WhosaskingAngst
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Watching The Amazing Spidernan movies so that I’m all caught up before No Way Home. Will add my thoughts as I have them. Note I am not some big Spider-Man fan nor have I read the comics so if my thoughts sound kinda stupid they probably are.
First movie:
That’s a good trick with the broom. Making a mental note as we speak.
Actually seeing Peter say goodbye to his parents is horrible and I would like to never experience it again
SALLY FIELD IS AUNT MAY?! Why does this one have the good cast? (not good as in better but good as in more well known)
The sexual tension in “good morning flash…good morning Peter” (this is a joke I’m not shipping him with his bully)
Jesus roid rage much?
Shut your blinds! I don’t know who would be looking in your window at this exact moment but close them anyway!
First careful, you never know who is watching what you search (when did I become this person)
Second…curt connors is ableist.
Poor Rodrigo Guevara
Oh internalised ableism. And that is the only comment I will make going forward because my disabilities do not include limb difference and I dont want to overstep.
Stop following the man, you are not subtle…wait wtf how’d he do that?!
This is where he gets his powers right?
Okay but when would 5 men make that much of a fuss over a woman that only 1 of them seems to know?
Same. (This is in reference to smashing the alarm clock)
Oh my god is it really necessary to show all the different kinds of spider bites.
Actually just going back to the internalised ableism thing…he is allowed to feel whatever type of way about his own disability that is his right. But insinuating that all disabled people are weak and wanting to breed out the weakness is eugenics and just kinda gross. THIS is the final comment I will make on the matter.
No but seriously he is way more aggressive than regular teen boy aggressive so either he’s on something or he’s overcompensating for something
The way he looks at him doe (again all jokes am not shipping flash and Peter)
Why is this so awkward? And not like teens navigating a crush awkward just genuinely awkward. I feel no chemistry between them.
I like the song, it’s an interesting choice for this scene but I like it.
Stop does uncle Ben die now? Like I know uncle Ben dies at some point but I was really kinda hoping he just wouldn’t in this iteration. I was going for a ninth doctor moment “just this once everybody lives”
MOTHERFUCKER
God Sally is incredible
Don’t show me moments of Flash being human I might accidentally start shipping them for real and that simply can’t happen.
Oooh he’s a fashion designer
I just really enjoy how he takes the piss out of his victims? Arrests?
Is Gwen aware that the school nurse can’t cure everything? Both legally and just like generally doesn’t have the knowledge to cure everything. She suggests going to the nurse a lot.
This family gives me bad vibes
This is a long movie…it’s not even half way through
Well that’s one way to tell her
NOT GEORGE FOYET!
I think with what I remember of SpiderTobey and what I know of SpiderTom, Andrews Spider-Man is definitely better with the people he’s rescuing. Smoother, good bedside manner.
His sons name is Jack. Why does that make me angry?
So he’s just not gonna rescue the other people hanging off the bridge?
It’s almost poetic that the son of the man tried to stop him the first time will be the one to stop him now
Now how is he getting enough power in the sewer
No means no Peter
Does she die in this one or the next one? I don’t imagine her dying will help captain stacey see him as a good guy
Stan 🥺
This movie is exhausting and I don’t know if I mean that in a good way or a bad way.
MoThEr HuBbArD aRe YoU sErIoUs
He managed to get three whole words out and you didn’t think to ease up on the trigger a little to hear what those words might be?
She’s very clever and I will be sad to see her go
That wasn’t her scream. Or it was but from a different take.
Foyet about to be coming in clutch
I’m going to cry.
He’s so ugly. Some lizards are really cute but lizard + human, kinda gross looking.
Well shit. I didn’t know that happened. I guess what I said about him being upset with Peter about Gwen is irrelevant. Unless it isn’t, like if you believe in the afterlife, imagine how pissed he’s gonna be when Gwen arrives.
He finally got the eggs 🥺
As someone who’s boyfriend at the time didn’t go to her fathers funeral I feel ya Gwen. I mean I don’t care now but at the time it sucked.
Dr Connors was just in a silly goofy mood. He seems to show genuine care for the boy (this is mostly sarcasm).
Second movie
Oh we’re going back to peters dad.
How do they have access to a private jet?
Miss Honey is badass
Ngl I’m actually quite relieved they both died before the plane crashed. Stil devastating though.
Okay so this is first up on the list of potential mystery villains in No Way Home…he looks like a tool.
HeLLo PeDeStRiAnS
He really just let Spider-Man put his hand on his tongue. Sir do you know where his hand has been? Not to mention just in general the feeling of spandex on your tongue. I feel ill.
No respect for the proper care of plutonium.
Please don’t ever say “come to daddy” again 😂
I’m kinda sad Jamie Fox becomes a villain, his character seems kinda sweet so far from the 2 seconds I’ve seen of him
You mean to tell me he missed his girlfriend’s fathers funeral AND her valedictorian speech?!
Stan x2 🥺
Because you can’t lose me you’re going to lose me? 😂
I love her jacket
Why are they still pretending like she doesn’t know?
I may have spoken to soon about Max
See I would be speeding up daddy’s death if he told me he’d passed down a genetic disease and just decided not to tell me.
Friendship.
Okay max is still a little bit nutty but you gotta feel bad for the guy. He must’ve been so scared.
Don’t smile that’s not cute, if he was a regular boy you’d file a restraining order.
Oh I see Spider-Man is gonna fight him which will make him turn and become the “bad guy” whether he will actually be a bad guy is still unknown.
This scene is actually kinda just making me angry (the time square scene)
Cops suck man. Peter was talking him down just fine.
Did nobody teach these people not to touch metal when there’s electricity about.
Interesting that I didn’t pick up any chemistry from them in the first movie weren’t they an actual couple for a while?
Another good song with an interesting placement
I’m sorry did the caller ID not say Mary Parker? How was it Harry on the phone?
Run Gwen!
This version of Harry is kinda creepy I’m sure the actor is swell but the character is terrifying. Original version Harry was swell whereas the actor is…
“Maybe everyone has a part of themselves they hide” gives him the eye
This movies shorter or at least it feels shorter
An excellent show of what happens when you tell a rich daddy’s boy no for the first time.
This makes me very sad. She’s so excited for the possibility of Oxford.
As much as Harry disturbs me, I want him to burn his entire team.
His daddy really did love him!
I think it’s mostly his eyes, his behaviour can be explained by trauma (why I find Harry creepy)
Okay most of his behaviour. The taking joy in killing people that’s just him being nutty and not a trauma response.
This is fucked up. And where is Peter? he is off chasing a girl who has broken up with him twice now.
PLANES NEED THE POWER!
I really like SpiderAndrew, the movies are fine but as a character I thoroughly enjoy him
Sorcerers apprentice who?
Captain Stacy can’t blame him! She’s clearly stubborn as hell and her own free woman
I quite literally stopped breathing (in reference to the almost plane crash)
Is this why they made it Gwen and not MJ so that he could kill her and be an actual bad guy? From my little knowledge of the comics and what I’ve seen from the movies Harry would never hurt MJ so it had to be someone else important to Peter but not super important to him for him to a real bad guy
I like that Harry actually looks like a goblin.
What was the disease he’s supposed to have?
This poor family. I know I said they gave me bad vibes in the first movie but nobody deserves this.
He looks less like a tool with his suit on…but only slightly less
Baby you better get back behind that baracade!
Nobody talk to me I’m very emotional. This child looks very much like a magical mix of all 3 of my brothers put together and seeing him stand there so brave but so scared is doing something to me.
Final thoughts:
So I think SpiderAndrew might be a close second favourite for me. I like the relationships of the original the most, the comedy of the mcu version the most but this one was like a nice in between. Im a little disappointed there won’t be a third not cos I think I would have enjoyed it just cos the original had 3 movies, the mcu version will have at least 3 movies and this one is left out with 2. Don’t think I would have loved Shailene Woodley as MJ though so I dunno. I think the only thing I would have wanted from a third movie is to know who fedora guy is…and for Peter and May to acknowledge that they both know that he is Spider-Man. Apart from that it was fine and I now feel fully prepared for No Way Home.
#the amazing spider man#the amazing spider man 2#the amazing Spider-Man#the amazing Spider-Man 2#the amazing spider man spoilers#andrew garfield#emma stone#sally field#criminal minds#george foyet#spider man no way home
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Care *Smut*
Requested: Kinda, mentioned this yesterday, started as a request but when elsewhere. Orig Request here: Hey hun ease can I have a ddlg little girl smut imagine with sweetpea or fp jones not bothered which where I have been a brat all day and he punishes me thanks so much xx.
A/N: This was created and I accidently went somewhere other than the request, I am also using this as one of the bingo spots on my card: Aftercare.
Warnings: Smut
Word Count: 2339
There was something off with you today and Sweet Pea could tell from the start. First it was waking you up, you didn’t want to, which was not much different than usual, however, this time you actually cried and Pea didn’t know what to do. You weren’t in pain, you weren’t going through anything really. He just held you while you cried and then eventually got you dressed and to school.
Finally at school when pulling in the drive you began to calm down.
“Wanna tell me what that was about?”
“I dunno, Daddy.”
Another odd thing to add to the list for the day. You were his little girl, mostly only in bed though, and once in a while after play when you slipped into little space. It was very, very odd and concerned him that you were calling him daddy in a non sexual manner while at school. You were often a brat in public, using daddy to turn him on, but this was entirely different.
“Baby girl talk to me”
“Gotta school daddy”
“Be a good girl in class and don’t say anything okay, I’ll see you during free hour”
“Okay daddy” you kissed him on the cheek something you always did while in little space
He was afraid you’d get found out, your kink and little space would be exposed and it would put you in even more of a rut. See no one really knew of yours and Peas' relationship except one or two people. You keep it secret, it is deeply personal. You went through a lot of trauma, falling into little space is your way of dealing with stress and hard times, he could usually make it better pretty quick but this time he had no idea why you fell into little space so hard and so quick. I mean you had both been busy the past few days. Not seeing much of each other than in passing and at night when falling asleep, but you never hid anything from him, and you hadn’t mentioned anything bad at all, so the fact you slipped without him knowing or detecting it made him so upset with himself. He knew he shouldn’t have sent you into class, but you had a test you absolutely could not miss and he was hoping you’d be okay alone. He has learned that when in little space you cling to him like a bear. Turning to your little side is your safe space, but without Pea there would be none of that at all. He is like the base to your tower.
The class could not have ended faster for him, he needed to see you and make sure you were all right. He always waited for you by the lockers. He watched and waited but hadn’t found you. He walked to your classroom and saw the teacher yelling at you. He walked in, not caring about anything in the world, plus he didn’t have this teacher for math. But saw you crying eyes watering red and puffy.
“What the fuck is going on”
“None of your business son, you can’t just barge in my classroom like that”
“I can damn well barge in here when your yelling and up in a girls face for no goddamn reason sir, plus no one fucking talks to my girlfriend like that I don’t care if you’re her teacher or not. You can speak to her on monday” Pea dragged you out of the room, grabbing your hand in the process. Tears still streaming down your face he brought you to a corner in the rec room, thankfully no one was in there, because your friends are usually the only ones there and they were all in class except fangs, but he was with Kevin. All you did was cry as he sat you down, no words coming out of your mouth. He loved you so goddamn much and seeing you cry was always a struggle for him.
“Princess you gotta talk to me or I can’t fix it or at least try to make it better” You shook your head pouting up at him
“Baby c’mon please whyd id he yell at you”
“Said… said i was bad at math and, and then he...” you started balling again.
“He got bad at me cause I got done early and it was so bad, but he, he got mad also cause I got done early and drew on my paper. I don’t get it daddy you always say I can draw!”
“Baby you didn’t do anything wrong”
“He… he yelled yes I did daddy he got mad. Was my drawing not good daddy”
“Im sure it was perfect aby, but sometimes there are things we just can’t draw on”
“Wanted to color but no pages, thought I could make a pretty picture but…” You cried one again Fangs walking into the room Pea glancing back at him.
Fangs found out you had a little space when he had walked into the trailer one day completely beat up and you were coloring on the floor while pea ran to the store.
*Flashback*
“Pea I need… Y/N?” HE saw you sitting on the floor onesie on coloring away on a giant page.
“Hi Fangsy, come color, Fangsy color, pleaseeeeeee”
“Y/N I need you to patch me up”
“I, Uh… fangsy hurt?
“Yeah, can you get me ice and a bandage?”
“Mhm, '' you nodded walking over to the freezer, grabbing the ice before heading to the bathroom and bringing it all back over to fangs. You leaned down pacci hanging from your shirt.
Pea walked in then starting fangs down when he walked through the door.
“What the fuck Fangs!”
“Sorry bro im hurt, I just walked in I didn’t”
“Don't yell daddy! Fangsy hurts”
“Sorry baby girl, can you go into the bedroom and i'll be in, in a minuted”
“You nodded kissing him before walking off to the bedroom” That was the night Fangs learned about your little space. It only made sense he would find out. Him and Pea were always together, so that means you are always there too. SOmetimes you were good at suppressing it, and hiding it but other times it wasn’t so easy. Fangs didn’t necessarily get it at least not at first, neither did pea, but they both supported and were there for you entirely . Fangs was a good support system and closest to Pea, meaning when Pea couldn’t be there, he was.
*end flashback*
“Aww pretty lady why you crying” If pea couldn't calm you down, fangs would come in making you laugh and forget about it.
“Bruce didn’t like my picture”
“Well that means an old man is just an ass hat, I bet your picture was absolutely stunning. Just like its creator, a true artist”
“I not that good”
“Mhm you sure are, i think you should draw me a picture for my apartment, could you do that?”
“Mhm” you nodded your head smiling. Fangs got you distracted long enough to stop crying and calm down some.
“Baby girl yo okay now” you nodded your head slightly still clinging onto him “baby we gotta get to class…”
“Wanna go home”
“Baby we..”
“Want home Pea, need you… please, wanna forget” he knew exactly what it meant. Sometimes you wanted to color, have food made for you, a bath run with pea in it, and other times you wanted him and only him, not just cuddling you want more.
“Okay, let’s go...” He didn’t hesitate, he knew what you needed. In that moment he knew everything.
He tried letting you go to stand up but you didn’t want to. You clung onto him like a bear in the wild. You loved Pea, you needed Pea in more ways than you could even explain. Fangs grabbed the keys from his pocked and unlocked the truck as Pea placed you in.
“Thanks bro”
“She gonna be okay”
“Mhm she’ll be fine just needs some time today to decompress”
“Okay, I know you got her but call if you need anything, and i'll cover for you in class”
“Always bro, and thanks again”
You got to his trailer as he led you to the bedroom sitting you down slowly. He grabbed the silk ties from the bottom drawer slowly kissing along you wrists as he tied them together.
“Baby are you sure”
“Yes daddy want you”
“Okay Princess but you know your safe word right?”
“Mhm..”
“Can you tell me?”
“Avacadoooo” He chuckled to himself lightly remembering back ot the time that you created the safeword. You thought it was so funny because the first time you used it he wasn’t hurting you at all, but you were so overpleasured you couldn’t go on, out you screamed avacadooooo as both you and him simalteanosly ignished. Its one of his funnies and best memories of the two of you.
By now, the amount of times you had been together he could read you like a book. The emaming of every movement the change in tone of every breath sound, he knew ever bit and piece of you, and your life and you wouldn’t have it any other way”
“Good girl” he began tying your hands to the bedpost.
“Want you to fuck me hard daddy, wnat to hurt, want to forget” when you were so subby that you slipped into little space forhours you wouldn’t always know what you needed or wanted. Pea knew you didn’t need to be fucked you needed love.
“You ready baby”
“Yes daddy”
You felt his body press lightly onto your own, he began kissing you, heading up to your neck, probably one of your weakest spots.
“Daddy not fair, you have your clothes on”
“Wanna take them off princess” You pouted up at him, you couldn’t you were tied.
“Well guess they stay on” You began to whimper eyes filling slightly
“Hey hey princess no crying tonight okay, want you happy”
“Always happy with you daddy” He took of his clothes bringing his body to yours once again. His cock already hard. You atche dhim come up to you, his lips ghosting over your own. HIs tip tickled over your entrance as you whimpered for more. He began thrusting slow short at first, then deeper as he went. The quicker they got the more you moaned. His hand found its way up to your neck, a firm grip, your breath halting for a moment. The feeling arousing you to no end. You felt your orgasm building.
“You like that princess”
“Yes daddy” he untied your wrists with a pull, your arms making there way around his neck as he thrusted into you . Head in the crook of his neck you moaned out.
“Daddy I can’t”
“Gonna cum for me princess”
“Mhm, yes fuck daddy”
“Fuck.” He cried out. CUmming as you came, eyes rolling back into your head he watched you come undone. YOu let out a loud moan of his name, as you felt his hand tighten by accident a second wave of pleasure passed through the both of you. He kissed you on the lips as he laid down next to you, pulling you to his chest. Your breathing remained heavy, your orgasm being one of the stronger ones you've had with pea.
“I didn’t hurt you did I?” Worry overcame him. He never wanted to hurt you. He never wanted to be that guy. He always made sure to protect you, always made sure to make sure that you were okay.
“No you didn’t daddy” you smiled, your eyes fluttering shut as his lips pressed to your forehead.
“I’m gonna run your bath and get you water okay” being with someone for so long helped you realize what they needed after certain things. For you water was number one. A bath always comes second due to the ties and your skin. Luckli silk helped you not get hurt, but it still could leave marks especially with how hard you pull to get away.
He came back and moved the blanket off you watching his release drip out of you. He picked you up placing you in the warm water, before slipping in behind you. You whimpered as you felt him lean you back against him, your hands touching the water and the little marks stinging. It was not a pain you didn’t like. It was nothing that Pea did, everything he did was perfect, but it always made him upset.
“Baby i’m”
“No… don’t apologize, I needed it, thankyou” He leaned down kissing your shoulder blade. You both sat in the water till it became colder. Your eyes began to get heavy. He stepped out watching you shiver from the cold air, as his body heat was removed from your skin. He helped you stand up legs still weak from the session. He grabbed your lotion and helped you over to the bed to lay you down and apply it to you.
“Wanna sleep”
“No baby, not yet or at least lay down so I can cover you in your lotion okay” You laid down, as his hands casted their way over your skin you began to fall asleep, him talking as you closed your eyes. The blanket soon made its way over you, his body coming to touch your back, “I love you” You felt a kiss to your head before you fell into a sweet darkness. Waking up the next day you were better than you had been a while. You thanked him with morning kisses, getting dressed and ready for the day as you both went to Pops for breakfast. He was your rock, your night, the light in the darkness you felt, and he’d always be there.
#sweet pea#sweet pea smut#sweet pea x reader#riverdale smut#sweet pea x reader smut#riverdale#riverdale story#riverdale x reader#riverdale x#riverdale x y/n#riverdale x you#sweet pea x y/n#sweet pea x#aftercare#aftercare smut#riverdale bingo
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Hurt S/o! | Shikamaru + Kiba + Shino | ANGST + Fluff | HC’s
Request: This is my first request so please forgive and correct me if I do something wrong. I was wondering if you could maybe do an angsty headcanons for Shikimaru, Kiba, and Shino from Naruto’s reaction to their S/O getting seriously injured protecting them. If the S/O recovers or dies and the enemy is all up to you, I’ve just noticed a real lack in content for them and I’m craving it hard. Please and thank you!
Word Count: 1953 words
Page Count: 5.5 pages
A/N: i got so caught up in writing this it became way too long lmao. im sorry i forgot about naruto :( but i hope you do enjoy the rest! i made sure to end everything well. i have a shit ton of angst requests so i thought id leave this on a happier note :)
Tags: @bipolartryingtosurvive
Shikamaru Nara
- I could see this being during the Hidan fight.
- Hes set the plan in motion at that point.
- And you’re to make sure Hidan is distracted for the time being .
- Hidan may be an ass, but he isn’t dumb.
- He notices how you are keeping him from Shikamaru.
- Fucking LIVID
- You notice how hes shifting your fight closer to Shikamaru until he gets to the point where he definitely can get a deep slash into the Nara.
- You knew he was trying to get to him.
- You were fast, one of the fastest in the village, but that was because you were fairly weak when it came to strength.
- You tried to zip around, gaining speed and momentum, and within seconds- right when Hidan was going to bring his scythe down on Shikamarus neck, you slammed your body to his side.
- Shikamaru flew away as Hidan managed to get a large and deep slash into your body; you felt it start from under the right side of your ribs, curving across your stomach, and finally finished above your left knee.
- You didn’t feel it until you fell to the ground- shock really is a bitch.
- And then you felt the dull sting grow and blood dripped from the wound.
- The stinging grew into a pulsing and unbearable ache, and you knew for a fact he cut through each muscle in the way of his scythe, but your organs were nipped ( at best ) in the process.
- You couldn’t hear what was going on.
- You heard your heart beat in your ears, it was deafening, but you focused on your breathing and trying to keep calm.
- You trained for this- having a close friend beat your ass near death so you could focus on remaining in a state where you could prolong the inevitable.
- Yeah you thought of the most wild scenarios, and managed to prepare for them- turns out it worked out well.
- Once Hidan is buried Shikamaru went straight to you, managing to help out with Ino and Choji, stopping some of the bleeding while getting you to the village.
- You’re passed out at that point, so Ino cauterizes the wounds ends, the part under your ribs and the entire thigh.
- Shikamaru starts freaking at this point, he almost passes out, and Choji has to get his ass back together.
- Once you get back to the village Tsunade is ready to go, with Sakura by her side your ass isn’t ending up on that stone.
- It takes about four hours to get you all settled, and into a private room, out of critical.
- He’d stay by your bedside, your hand in his till you woke up.
- “Shika…?”
- “Oh my gods, [ Y/n ]!”
- “Hi”
- Your soft giggles helped ease this poor boys heart.
- “You look awful.”
- “Don’t look too hot yourself.”
- “Wow. Okay.”
- “Get up here, you need some sleep. And don’t even deny it.”
- He took off the bulky clothes, only in his pants and tank top, climbing in next to you as you settled your head on his chest.
- “Thank you for taking care of me,”
- “Thank you for not dying.”
Kiba Inuzuka
- Being in Anbu had its ups and downs.
- But mostly downs.
- Okay. Only downs.
- But you managed to find your light, in a childhood friend and now lover.
- Though- he managed to act more like a puppy than a boyfriend at times.
- You didn’t mind though, and you lived your life peacefully after having to leave Anbu due to an injury that limited your eyesight greatly and it hindered all sight starting at arms length.
- Though, when in Anbu, its always- ALWAYS expected to have an old rival or two come back for more, even when one is retired.
- And here you were, walking through the forest with Kiba and Akamaru, talking about his past mission with Hinata and Shino.
- He got so excited to tell you that he didn’t notice the shift in scents in the air, and you couldn’t see ahead or through your peripheral.
- It happened so fast.
- Too fast.
- One second you were smiling with his arms around your waist, his chin on your head as you both laughed with Akamaru yipping.
- The next you were slipping from his arms, and blood was pooled at his arms, the slash at your neck was gruesome.
- Your hands went to your neck as Kiba yelled, Akamaru going after the person who came from the shadows.
- “No. No. No. No. No. No. [ Y/n ], NO!” He was panicking, picking you up quickly as a hand wrapped around your throat, gripping it so tightly you almost couldn’t breathe.
- Almost.
- You learned to stay calm in situations like this, and with Kiba’s harsh grip you didn’t have to waste any energy to help with the bleeding, so you focused on breathing and not getting your heart to pump too fast.
- “Tsunade! Fuck- get a medical nin! Now!”
- He yelled, running into the village again, where many were coming to help you out.
- Akamaru had come back by then, his mouth bloodied as well, but nothing else- indicating he got a good bite on the fucker.
- You made it to the hospital before you lost consciousness, making Kiba worry even more, because THAT was never a good sign.
- He had to be the one to lay you down on the table and his grip never wavered, getting into a sterile room and waiting for some instruction.
- He was freaking out inside, he wanted to cry and let go, just hold you- but you would die if any of that were to happen.
- He had to stay calm for you.
- He wasn’t going to let you die.
- The tell him to let go quickly and all hands go to your neck, working quickly to stop the bleeding, while a nurse came to get Kiba cleaned up and situated.
- His mom even came to help the boy, who looked dead while staring at your room, not even wanting to go in.
- “Boy."
- Oh did she go off, telling him to go to his girlfriend and be a man.
- He did want to go, but he couldn’t help but feel so… helpless.
- "Helpless? Helpless! Boy, you do understand you just saved your girls life? That if you weren’t there she’d be laying there dead?”
- Kinda rocked his shit, but thanks mom.
- He went into your room alone first, your neck was bandaged and you looked pale, with blood and other IV fluids being attached to your arms.
- He noticed the especially dark bruise on your neck.
- It could have been either from his hand or the surgery, but he still felt bad.
- His mom came in and sat with him on the other side of you.
- They both held your hands and visited you till you woke up.
- “I lived bitch.”
Shino Aburame
- I honestly can’t see his S/o getting hurt so bad.
- Because when you think about it his bug control is OP AF.
- Like he can essentially control you with a bug.
- I would go with someone would be after him, but since they can’t get to Shino- you would be the best option.
- Get hurt him physically so lets do it mentally and emotionally :)
- Poor boy
- I could see this being when your both adults, and teaching the younger generations, including your kids :)
- And you’re chilling on your house rooftop, that you’ve decorated with couches and tables and such, even hanging lights around.
- You had Shino build a retractable sliding glass on top in case it rains.
- If you’re having trouble imagining this- think Fast and Furious ending where everyone is eating dinner together.
- Yeah that’s ya’ll with the rest of the group :)
- You’re relaxing, reading a book and curled into the couch and drinking some tea or coffee or hot cocoa ( THEY’RE ALL VALID )
- You had gotten up a second to go to the large chest you had near one of the tables, to pick out a fluffy blanket.
- You never noticed how someone had mixed a poison into your drink, because they were gone before you could even decide on a blanket.
- Your kids would have been home soon, and they knew you liked to hang out up here, especially Shino since he kept the bees up here.
- You settled down and read some more, before taking sips of your drink.
- You noticed it tasted weird, and you had gotten up to check it out you felt your head get light, and your throat was stinging- making you cough horribly.
- You honestly felt like death was coming for you, and you knew something was wrong, but by the time you had gotten to the door you fell down and struggled to breathe.
- “Hey mom, Aponi kicked me-”
- “Shut up! Adonis don’t be- Mom!”
- “Mom?!”
- Your kids started freaking out, with your little girl noticing how strange you looked and saw the cup that was broken at your side.
- “Addy! Get dad! Mom drank something!”
- “Alright! Stay there- I’ll be back!”
- They managed to get their dad and Uncle Kiba, with Aponi looking to the cup- having some of her bugs recognize what was in it.
- “Dad! Its Saifu Ants! Someone poisoned mom with Saifu ants!”
- Shino had gotten some for himself and used their toxins to create an antidote.
- You were currently at the hospital, and declining rapidly, stressing out everyone around you.
- Even Naruto came and the dude is Hokage and is busy as hell.
- “You should all be prepared for the worst.”
- Everyone’s hearts dropped, and Shino couldn’t be there- he was helping making the antidote.
- It took about 20 more minutes until Shino came rushing in with it.
- Everyone made their way to your room and god.
- You were so pale, you honestly looked dead. Your kids only knew you were alive due to the heart monitor and your weak chalkra signature, your breathing was supported by a machine and even then your lungs sounded horrible.
- God Shino worked as hard as he could so fast.
- He felt like his heart stopped, that everything was moving too fast for him and he was going to pass out.
- Thank god his eyes were covered cause he had tears in them the entire time.
- He felt his soul ripping apart, what would he do if you left him so soon? The kids?
- You had gotten the antidote in time- but not before the poison had it’s time with you.
- Your lungs were destroyed and your heart was weak, your muscle was torn down.
- But you made it back to them.
- Everyone held a sigh of relief.
- You were a little off at first- still sleepy and slurring.
- After a few month you were able to leave- with everyone visiting you in the meantime with what had been going on in the village.
- Once you made it home you collapsed on your bed with Shino, easing his heart just a bit.
- Your kids jumped in too, snuggling up to both of you, with Aponi on your chest and Adonis on your stomach.
- “You scared us. Please, don’t do that again.”
- “It’s okay. I told you. You can’t get rid of me that easy.”
- “Like I’d want to.”
#naruto x reader#naruto reader insert#x reader#reader insert#shikamaru x reader#shikamaru nara x reader#nara x reader#shikamaru imagine#shikamaru hc#kiba x reader#kiba inuzuka x reader#inuzuka x reader#kiba imagine#kiba hc#shino x reader#shino aburame x reader#aburame x reader#naruto imagines#naruto shippuuden x reader#🐝
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taako meets death (again)
(also posted to my ao3)
taako has met two raven queens in his life before now.
well, close enough, at least. most - though not all - of the worlds the starblaster had traveled to had gods, and surprisingly enough, those gods were usually - though not always - strikingly similar to their homeworlds gods. (this was useful, because one of the crews number relied very heavily on a certain nature god for his magic. luckily, the nature or life god of each world always seemed to have a soft spot for little old merle, even if they werent merles traditional cloven-hoofed pan.)
twice, taako had met the death god - someone equivalent to faeruns raven queen.
this had led to taakos understandable trepidation upon kravitz finally putting his foot down and insisting taako meet his mother boss.
the first time taako had met a raven queen, she had been… overwhelming. the light of creation had fallen into a forest dedicated to her and her followers, and the head acolyte refused to give the wandering crew the light unless they first received permission from the queen.
the crew had agreed, with no other option, bracing themselves to firmly explain the direness of the situation. surely a goddess would be intelligent enough to understand.
that raven queen had burst into a forest cleaning in an explosion of black feathers, half illusion, half steel, so that when lup brushed the smoky feathers from her eyes they blurred and dissipated, but when magnus tried the same thing he yelped and brought his hand back bleeding.
that raven queens laughter had been eerie and echoing, almost but not quite mocking, almost but not quite infectious, almost but not quite joyous. the crew had stood firm and offered their argument, and the queen had given them tests and tokens and bargains and tricky promises with too many clauses and loopholes and at the end of it all the ipres numbers had been halved and the rest were weary and worn as they caught the light of creation and fled with only minutes to spare, the faelike laughter of death following them terribly even through the overwhelming cacophony of the hungers assault.
that laughter had trailed after them longer, if only in their heads. taako would be making stir fry, planning outfits, swapping merles shampoo for hair-loss potions, when hed have to sit down suddenly and breathe through the musical trills of the raven queens cruel pleasure. it had seemed to bounce in his head the way a rubber ball might, ricocheting off thoughts and feelings until it rolled under a couch to be forgotten about, till some slight movement sent it rolling and bouncing about once more.
davenport had died in an illusion, thinking he was saving his crew. poor merle had been choked by his own plants, betrayal writ across hos face. barrys skin had grown sickly purple with poison - ten to one odds arent very good odds. taako doesnt forget easily. he decides the goddess of death can go fuck herself.
the second raven queen taako had met much later in their journey, and taako had met her alone.
lup and barry had become liches a few cycles back. it was something taako had still been coming to terms with.
taako loves lup. this is an immutable fact of any and every universe. taako loves lup and lup loves taako and not death or memory or space can separate them, not for long. but seeing your sister die, and then… go beyond death, to twist herself and latch on to a chance that she may never return except in madness and spite - thats a hard thing to grasp, even when she succeeds. taako had still found himself shivering when his sister forgot she had a body again and grabbed a hot pan off the stove, crying out in pain. taako still woke sweating from nightmares in which his sister and his friend flew apart and reformed as cackling red robed horrors of insanity and cruelty, too far for him to reach.
until that cycle, though, barry and lups choice had only been an asset.
but some raven queens do not take kindly to anything they see as a perversion of their domain.
barely a week into that cycle, taako had awoken from the guilty non-elven pleasure of a nap only to find himself in some cold, hard court, fashioned seemingly of steel and silver and concrete, onyx lining the floor and the only color coming from sparse sapphires sparkled throughout the long echoing hall.
at the end of it - and taako had known his eyes must have played tricks on him, because at first the being at the end of the hall seemed, while large, not much larger than a giant, but when hed called a nervous greeting his voice had echoed so awfully he knew the hall stretched much farther than hed thought and the goddess at the end of it must have been unimaginably huge.
her eyes had glinted a flinty sapphire in her carven steel face when she ordered him to defend the existence of his sister and his sisters lover.
taako had tried. he truly, truly had. but while taako is a being of preservation and caution, full of intelligence and cleverness, he is not one of cold hard logic. perhaps lucretia could have convinced this raven queen, the only of their number who had ever been able to grasp true hard reason… but taako doubts it. he had doubted it then and he doubts it even more these days.
the point is, taako, for all his love for his family and his brilliant wit and devotion (probably, in fact, because of it) taakos arguments couldnt convince that raven queen. she saw past his genuine belief that lup and barry had made a good decision, and into his fears for her, and the goddess of death had based her own argument on those. she won. taako never had a chance.
he, lup, and barry had woken up in the next cycle, newly resurrected. taako never stops feeling guilty about it.
so. yes.
taako is more than a little nervous about meeting the goddess his boyfriend serves so devotedly. but, and youd be hard pressed to convince him to admit it, taako would do anything for kravitz. and despite it all he does actually want to see what the deal is with his sister and his best friends boss, and his patron gods… friend? lover? girlfriend? taako isnt quite sure what fate and death are to each other, but its definitely something.
kravitz lays a warm hand on taakos shoulder, but taako squares them up. he can do this, for fucks sake - hes died a shitton of times, he can meet death.
the doors open and taakos breath - the only breath in this realm of the dead - catches in his throat.
taako is a die hard istus fan, and shell always be his goddess. but if taako wasnt a taken elf, hed follow the raven queen, he realizes with a startle.
shes beautiful, yes. shes gorgeous, and taakos always been weak for beauty, but hers isnt the cold hard beauty of gemstones and gold, thinks his nimble fingers snatch up and hoard in his endless pockets. the raven queen is beautiful in a way that taako cant describe as anything other than simple.
he cant pin down any features. she has a kind face, gentle hands, bright eyes, but taako can tell she is a goddess because despite staying still the image of her flicks and shifts in his head. at once she seems to have every kind face hes ever seen, even if he doesnt recognize anyone. her hands reach out to comfort him - no more than comfort - but she stands without moving in front of taako and kravitz. her eyes glitter and sparkle and crinkle up with cheerful laughter, except taako isnt entirely sure she has eyes at all, or maybe she has too many.
he thinks… he thinks maybe she has wings, or maybe theyre arms, or maybe theyre black fabric, draped around and behind and below and above her, shifting with the last breaths of every mortal in the universe. its darkness but its not scary, taako realizes, its solacing, healing, the way that he feels when dusk passes to night and the sky is huge and warm and the brush of lups hand against his as she says goodbye for the night is a relief and a love.
hello, taako, death says. its lovely to meet you.
she means it, taako knows. he can tell, somehow. shes just happy to meet him. nothing more, nothing less.
'oh,' taako says aloud, and kravitz laughs his quiet sweet dorky laugh, and the raven queen laughs too, and its just that. its just a laugh, and its a nice one.
'oh indeed,' kravitz says. 'taako, did you really think id serve a monster or a cruel master?'
'well,' taako replies hesitantly, 'honestly, homie, i kind of thought you were, and id, like, have to start some quest to slay death itself and rescue you.'
the anthropomorphic personification of death laughs again, a note of delight in her tender voice. i like him, my kravitz, she says, good job.
kravitz does the dead-reaper equivalent of blushing. taako grins a little because its very cute.
'death is different here,' taako hums. 'its… it wasnt like this anywhere else i went. it was cold, or cruel, or empty. i dunno why its different in your world.'
'then i guess we're the lucky ones, huh?' kravitz asks. taako leans up against him and murmurs an agreement. 'its why i love my job so much, why it means so much to me. its not that im some hardass, i just…'
'yea, cha'boy gets it now,' assures taako. 'still.' he looks at the ever-shifting, ever-stable face of death again. 'you better treat my boy kravitz and my lady istus well, capiche? or we will have issues.'
its a deal, taako, the raven queen says, smiling.
when taako opens his eyes, hes in his home in the material plane, and kravitz is next to him, and theyre both smiling.
#this is unedited and also i wrote it at 4am#taako#kravitz#taakitz#the raven queen#taz balance#the adventure zone balance#fanfiction#death tw#trigger warning for death because it is a fic about the goddess of death#and also taako mentions some times that they died before story and song (so they dont count)#m text#fic#text#ask to tag#o shit yea and its lowkey lowkey inspired by gaimans death because i like the idea of a nice death
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The breakup
I saw someone type a post about their break up and while i’m fairly new to Tumblr, I hope this reaches someone with a similar experience or someone who can read this and hear me out.
I met my ex girlfriend sometime in September of 2020 last year. we officially began dating October 17th, 2020. The very first week that i met her, she hit me up flirtatiously and from there sparks were risen. the downfall of that was , she was on a phone detox or as i would like to call it, a mother with extreme control issues. Her phone was frequently taken for any slip ups in school or mishaps in her home life. She would go m.i.a for long periods of time and the longest was 2 weeks. we dated for almost 7 months and I pushed through every baggage she came with because She was my person. I was the mos happy, the most alive when I was in the same room as her . but we were long distance(2 hours away) and id come see her but that was once every month. The first time, she came to see me and her mother drover her. she was always super supportive of our relationship. she told me she would be here for me no matter what so as much as i’d like to think her getting the phone taken was a motive against me , I couldn’t she welcomed me in her home with open arms and I will never forget the time that she welcomed me and told me how proud she was of me. eventually this problem caused so much stress and unneeded pressure each time we reunited. we never got into any arguments or crucial discussions. after a sudden cut off from communication we were just... off? and the next following days . we spoke about a mutual pause for about a month just until she comes back from her trip so we can be in a better area . she was going to visit family in the spring time so we can have our summer because her dad kept bugging er and she didn’t like him and as soon as she spent a week there we began having intense disagreements and she initiated a complete break up. the initial reasoning was because off communication and personal growth which I respected but still felt very torn apart about because I fought so hard for her. I could’ve dismissed her and lived my own life but she was so sure that she wanted to build a future with me. she eventually caught Covid while on her trip so i was there to be someone to keep her company in an empty room ,fall asleep with her on the phone, engage in her flirtatiousness and do anything for her despite my raw feelings of the break up. I was a total wreck but i tried to stay strong for her and time and time again i broke down .I was having severe panic attacks at the thought of loneliness and neglect again. after she got better, two weeks later, she started hinting for more time with her family and that she wouldn’t have her phone on her. at that moment I realized as soon as she got better she would want nothing to do with me. I was right. she rarely texted and called despite her telling me she would and that she wanted to stay in my life to check on me and stuff. once I began vocalizing how false that was , she got further and further. we were official the couple we never wanted to be. fast forward from all of the drama the next couple of days, my mental health started down spiraling once again. Im convinced that i am meant to walk this life alone with nothing meaningful to keep me happy. I relapsed and withdrew from so much. I feel used, broken, betrayed and led on.. she eventually blocked me from Instagram and tiktok but remained an emergency line on imessage. the last conversation we had she just kept apologizing and saying how she would rather me hate her if that meant i would get over her.I cried for a month straight and now After every time I feel the urge to I just swallow it because i end up in a horrible habit of self hatred and sabotage. I have no one to talk about this with .she said she grew apart from me.. Im so so so alone.I feel so used and abandoned. everything came out of this because of her decision that i supported.the worst part is that she knows up to all of this and is fully aware of how this has impacted our entire relationship but still does nothing to fix things. I loved her. she made me feel alive. I forgot i battled with metal illnesses at times and when they appeared she held me close to her chest. I had to put all of her gifts , my promise ring and journals dedicated to me in a big brown box. they dont belong there.
#breakup#abandonment#abandoned#triggered#socialanxiety#ldr#longdistance#lgbtq#lesbian#broken#relationship#neglect#bipolar#anger#worst#trauma#brokenheart
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I found out my ex un blocked me from some social media sites
I was seeing a post from my facebook rewind and it had my ex’s name in it. And it wasnt greyed out like it used to be. We cut ties in march of 2020 and ive been struggling with how to feel about everything regarding our relationship. We dated for over a year and as things went on she became (or rather i was made aware that she was) emotionaly manipulative and allowed her insecurities and trust issues stop her from realy ever trusting me the way i trusted her. She wasnt always like that though. There were times that i didnt want to exist away from her because i wanted her that close to me. And how should i have felt? She was my first girlfriend. And i trusted her with everything. Noone up to this point in my life has ever loved me the way she did and as much as i hate to admit it. I still think about her from time to time. Amidst all this quarantine stuff i imagine having someone close to me who could give me the safe space ive needed to heal would be nice. But i also know that i gave up everything to make it work in the way that i could at the time when we were together. She would find things that id said or done to be problematic to her in some way so i would remove those parts of myself to try and make it work. I never cheated on her. And i never would have. But after a while she stopped treating me like her boyfriend. And more like someone she had to manage. Because her trust issues wouldnt allow her to overlook anything even remotely questionable. Even if there was no basis in her mistrust. Her mind just kept giving her reasons not to trust me so I tore myself apart over and over again to make things easier for her and in doing so i lost myself. I still love her. I dont have any bad blood with her. But the last time we spoke she sent alot of mixed signals. And granted i could have resisted or said no. My weakend emotional state made me fall for my feelings for her. And afterwards she determined that i couldnt be trusted to navigate my feelings for her and that she felt used. Which devistated me. I had considered getting a place with her. Possibly even marrying her. But thinking that far ahead gives me anxiety because noone had ever been this close to me before and i didnt want it to end so i sacrificed whatever i could to keep what we had going. Even at the cost of myself. Once i started sticking up for myself and trying to establish more healthy boundaries. Suddenly everything was an arguement and we would spend entire nights arguing in circles about who was more or less right and the entire time im just buckling at every stand off so we could just be together and not arguing. I miss us. I miss the way that she talked to me. The way she touched me. The way i felt sleeping next to her. And through the months ive had withoutbher id like to say ive grown. And gotten better about asserting myself and establishing boundaries. But part of me wonders. Why did she un block me? Will she reach out? Should i reach out? And i circle the drain wondering if itd even be worth it to try and make it work again. And i still dont know. I miss her. Does she miss me? Will i ever know? Is it worth it to find out? My heart is so weak as it is now and i so miss being cared for the way she used to care for me. Idk. I needed to write this down. For my sanity sake. Part of me says I want to be close to her again. And i want to build that trust with her. But part of me says i shouldn’t. Should i open my heart to her again? Should i block her and move on? Do i wait and see if shel reach out? I want to be soft again. TLDR: my ex unblocked me on social media after choosing to remove me from her life after our less than clean break up. And im not sure wether i should reach out or not
#personal#emily#relationship#ex#feeings#i want to reach out but im scared if i do shel hurt me again...
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THE KING: ETERNAL MONARCH EP 5, My Appreciation and How It Made Me Feel
This going to be a hell long writings because this have been my most anticipated episode.
King is in Korea again finally. To pay his debt to Nari and take away tae eul. I enjoy the aesthetic shot and camera movements. 1 thing that was interesting, Nari write down “She’s Gone” on the board to inform people that Maximus was not here anymore. But seeing KSJ looking at it, it kind of tells him that Tae Eul is gone too. I love the analogy.
Because she is now in Corea with Gon and pretty much took Lady Noh and Jo Yeong by surprise. We got an explanation of the space between 1 and 0. I love how they called it that. And also i remember during Marvel’s end game im looking so much stuff of quantum mechanic, just curious about the quantum realm that helps them to go through time and space. That is why im excited to see it in this series too. They are using Quantum Tunelling theory same as end game. This space in between world has a rule and its different in every movie, what similar to end game was time flow differently. In TKEM 1 minute here equal to 1 hour outside. There were no wind, no air and no light here. Gon tells us that he was exploring this place for days and using euler’s number to count, which led many people to make their own theories and i love to read it ! I love this fandom, you smart geek 💕 and what makes me love Gon even more, here he shows that he was not greedy to found out more about the place, Since at least in the meantime he only need to know how to back and forth between Korea and Corea. Usually people who love science will have this greed to explore more, but Gon seems to know his priority and will explore later when needed. I love realistic boy 💕 They got critiziced badly for the bad cinematography, and im glad they listen to it and make it better and darker later in the series. But for me, this pinkish is fine.
The next scene was hilarious, we got to see JTE trying to figure out what is going on and try to prove many things in her way. Nicely executed. And i might say, that JTE is the main character of this episode, because we will saw her character development here and damn great acting by KGE. Im a fan now. Also i will always praised Jo Yeong. He is a very good actor. JY realized that JTE is this woman that Gon has been looking for his entire life.
Just wanted to appreciate more of the backsound used in this particular scene, Fantasia from Another Dimension. All praised for whoever make it and know exactly where to used it in which scene. Because it added the value of the scene and the series. Also to Gon appereance. Here, especially when Gon says “Welcome to my palace” . I mean, wow.
Lady Noh pissed and being overprotective to Gon. But its understandable. Now its JTE turn to be a stranger with no identity. As she said “You reap what you sow” . I appreciate Lady Noh professionalism here, eventhough she is a close person to Gon, but Gon is still a King here. There still boundaries and she knows that line and never crossing it. I adore this line of her to JTE “I should trust you, You’re my King’s guest” and bow. 👏🏼👏🏼 also i love how she scolded Gon. And Gon actually obedient to her words. Im soft for them.
Gon’s is back to work and planning to make a meal for JTE, which startled the hell out of SA and JY. Btw, both JY and SA should date because they were cute af. We only got to see a little of both, i want more 🥺
Just to appreciate the parallel scene as what we saw in episode 1, where JTE saw money with Gon face and teased him about it being monopoly money and teased him whether he buys many land. Here we saw Gon teased her upon seeing her hands in a red stamp and asking “did you sign a contract or something? Did you buy a land?” I just loved it. I also like on how JTE is still pretty much relax around Gon even when she knows he is a King. She casually asking his phone left unlocked for her to search something later. I think Gon’s line here was funny “who would even try to look through a King’s phone? No passcode” 🤣 Their bickering also funny. Gon expecting JTE appreciate the food he is making but JTE teased him by saying it taste bad, and how Gon look at JTE while she eat, is love, i love them, somebody help me. What i also realized here is that Gon also really relax when he is with JTE, he can be himself around her. He let go his upright posture, for example, we can see from his sitting posture, he is leaning to the chair unbothered. But when Lady Noh bark into the room he is back to his stiff posture.
Appreciation for this line “Is it far to the right or to the left of my room?” Gon’s smirk and Lady Noh’s face 🤣
The conversation between JTE and Lady Noh’s was quite bitter. She answer JTE question about how people here knows her, she explain that King has a strange ID with your name and face but it looks fake because no one in this world have this identity as stated on the ID card. “But that nonexistent person, suddenly appeared here. Its shocking. Everything is just absurd, but one thing im sure about. An existence that cannot be explained will only bring chaos to the world, and it will only harm our King” Lady Noh’s told JTE not to be curious about this world and not try to stay, she says “By “this world”, i mean, including, the King” im amazed by this line and how this Lady say it. Bitter truth. She is just being protective to the King.
JTE seems to think about Lady Noh’s words so much and bothered by it. I think she kinda wants to go home because he asked Gon when he will show her ID card. This conversation between Gon and JTE also gave us a glimpse of what a bad shooter Gon was. And led to us confusion and for me personally this led to me doubting many things of Gon savior on 1994 🤡 This bedroom scene was intense though, those who said both of them dont have chemistry better do an eye check or maybe somethings wrong with your heart, because the tension here was high, i mean their line here was iconic af
JTE “내가 뭐 하나 물어불 테니�� ‘예’, ‘아니요’로만 대답해” (im going to ask you something, so just answer with yes or no)
Gon “물어봐” (ask me)
JTE “연애 한 번도 안 해 봤지?” (You’ve never dated before, right?)
Gon “깜짝이야, 아닌데? 해 봤는데” (you startled me, you wrong, i have)
JTE “언제 해 봤는지 맞혀 불까?” (Should i guess when?)
Gon “맞혀 봐” (guess)
JTE “지금” (now)
And the music stop before Gon come closer to JTE and KISS HER SO SOFT then the piano continues to play, IM DEAD!
I love how JTE startled and open her eyes to analized what is happening and kind of give me a sight of her being curious in this whole new experience even the kiss. I love her acting!
Gon “내가 방금 뭘 증명했는지도 맞혀 봐. 연애해 본 거? 아니면, 지금 연애하는 거?” (Try guessing what i just proved. The fact that i’ve dated before? Or that im dating right now?” 💕
I still very mad that i dont get this piano backsound in the original ost! Why!!!! This piano play is everything and added the tension of this scene.
I dont know what else happens last night but Gon came to JTE room and said “I told you to sleep well but i guess you didn’t” 🤓 he has a plan to bring JTE out by pretending to be his bodyguard for a day slash wants to show off to his girlfriend that he is cool at work 😎 Lady Noh’s is such a party pooper however she dont have any choice but to let this weird King do his plan 💕
NO PICTURE TOGETHER 🤣
To be continue..
#the king eternal monarch#tkem#kim go eun#lee min ho#woo do hwan#jung eun chae#kim kyung nam#lee jung jin#kim eun sook
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Devil’s Ballroom ch.2
A year after the events from the earth’s final attack, Little Homeworld is finally complete, and there’s a new jazz bar where gems and humans mingle and drink. - As you’re typing back a reply, someone pulls the stool out next to you and takes a seat. You see a sliver of pink out of the corner of your eye as you try not to actually Look. Oh god. It’s her. God can’t help us now.
Spinel/Reader
collab with wife @firstofficertightpants
The place actually happened to be like, right on the edge of Little Homeworld. Outside had full glass windows, tall, that reached the ceiling. Inside the lighting was dim, and a bit smokey. You figured it looked alright enough to head in, and gave the bouncer your ID. He nodded and you walked in. It smelt of cigars, and of cinnamon, and it wasn’t entirely unpleasant. A pretty woman in a low-cut red dress was playing the piano on the stage, and it was some contemporary jazz piece. The low murmur of people talking filled the air in between the swells of music, and the place actually seemed busy with people and even gems enjoying themselves. You liked the vibe. It was.. comfortable. At ease. You looked over at the bar, rather than any of the tables, and saw a spot near the end. Perfect. Right by the bathroom. You headed over and plopped down on the stool. There were three empty at the end, so you took the one in the middle, which had the best view of the stage from back here.
While waiting for the bartender to come back down this side, you took the chance to look at the people around you. A couple familiar faces.. small town you know? And some new ones. New gems too. You can see Mr. Fryman sitting at a table with Kofi and Nanefua, and they look like they’re playing poker. You try not to snicker since Kofi looks absolutely blasted, and Mr. Fryman is cursing up a storm because Nanefua is clearly winning. You see her wink at Mr. Fryman. You suspect a rigged game.
Your phone chimes a couple times. You pull it out of your bag, and check to see who’s bothering you. Ah. The group chat.
Alex: ughhh you guys my gmas killing me
Alex: no seriously mexico fucking blows rn
Alex: i cant step outside without feeling like my balls are melting off my body
Alex: and my brother won’t stop listening to the book of mormon soundtrack
Alex: im going insane
Your friends are so melodramatic. You type out a couple of replies.
Y/N: You should be used to mexican summers by now, you go every year.
Y/N: And for the record, your brother is valid. Book of Mormon slaps.
Alex: what the fuck youre supposed to be on my side u ass
Alex: i thought our special thing was wicked. OUR SPECIAL THING, Y/N
Y/N: I’m allowed to like multiple things. Including musicals.
Alex: never. fuck you. also what are you even doing rn come play minecraft with me
Y/N: Yeah as much as I’d like to, I can’t.
“Y/N! So you finally came to see what this place is all about! What can I get ya?” you hear a familiar voice ask. Turning around to face the voice, you see Bismuth wearing her usual overalls and a rather nice looking bow tie.
“Hey Bis, how’s it going? I like what you’ve done with the place. It’s nice. And uh, I’ll just take a hard cider for now.” You smile at her and set your phone down for a minute.
“Thank you! After we finished Little Homeworld, I had to find something else to focus on in my down time.” She explains while grabbing your drink from the fridge under her side of the bar, and opens it. “So tell me,” She sits the drink in front of you and leans on the counter. “What brings you out here today?”
You take a rather long sip from your drink before meeting the large gems eyes. On the stage, a tall, beardy man replaces the woman that just finished her piece. He immediately starts this jaunty, irish tune. He’s singing loudly, and it’s not bad. A couple of people are clapping to the tune.
“I just really needed to get out.” You replied, taking another sip from your drink. “I was kinda hoping I’d meet someone new, maybe get another friend to hang out with, since my friends wanted to ditch me this summer.” As you’re saying this, more people join the clapping. It’s getting a bit rowdy. “Or maybe at least get drunk enough to forget how lonely I feel.” You add, shrugging.
“Well, I can supply the drinks, and at least a bit of company.” Bismuth winks, and turns to the patron 6 seats up waving her over.
You check your phone again, and there’s more from Alex. AND Harper? She must still have phone service wherever she’s at. Alex: what are u fuckin doin that so important that u cant play minecraft with ur best friend
Harper: yeah, Y/N. the heck. Also alex, get lost, she’s MY best friend bitch
Alex: u had ur chances but u left us so we’re a duo now. u can go
Harper: excuse me!? I WILL end you.
Y/N: Oh my god, chill. I’m just out right now, so I can’t okay?
Y/N: And nice of you to join us, Harper.
Harper: fuck you I miss you okay. And I miss constant wifi :(
Alex: OUT!? What do you mean OUT. its night. u play games with ME during this time
Alex: for real what the fuck are you doing
Harper: yeah, you don’t go out without us. Wtf are you doing?
Y/N: I’m at a bar!! Alex: WHAT
Alex: dont tell me its the one place that just opened
Alex: Y/N do NOT betray me you TOLD ME you were gonna go with me!!
Y/N: I was. But I was also bored and you’re both gone, soooo.
Alex: wow
Alex: i cant believe youve done this to me
Harper: hmmm. ;)
Harper: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ;)
Y/N: What.
Harper: you tryin to find girls again?
Harper: like that one time you went to empire city just to peruse the mall?
Alex: LMAOOOOO
Y/N: No.
Alex: LMAOOOO Y/N GOOD LUCK TRYING TO FIND A GF LOLL
Y/N: I’m not trying to find a girlfriend you fucks. Christ.
Y/N: Also Alex, you’re one to talk. You can’t KEEP a girlfriend.
Alex: ur just mad i have a passionate and intimate relationship w/ my hand
Y/N: And it will probably stay that way.
Y/N: Besides, so far, no one cute here. So it’s a bust.
Harper: a bust. Lmfao u just outed yourself :)
Y/N: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
You put your phone down before seeing whatever Alex attempts to reply back with. It sounds like the current boisterous song is coming to a close, and really, most of the people here are clapping along with this guy. It’s fun. And despite the playful ribbing from your shit-talking friends, you’re starting to have a nice time. You finish your drink, and nod over to Bismuth who catches your eye and nods back. You look over onto the stage, the man having cleared the piano, and see Lapis wiping down the piano and seat. Guess he spilled his drink while playing. Lapis, unlike Bismuth, actually dressed up a bit for the job. Her hair was pulled in a cute, small bun, and she was wearing what looks like a tailored tux with no jacket. The vest fit her quite well. She seemed.. happy. Good for her.
No one had taken up the stage again yet, but the place was still lively with chatter. You see someone out of the corner of your eye move towards the stage, but Bismuth comes over again so you tear your gaze away.
“Another cider? Or do you want something else this time, Y/N? She asks, cleaning a glass with a rag, and moves on to the next one.
“Ehh, yeah, give me another cider.” You say as you pull out your phone again. Bismuth sets down the drink in front of you.
Harper: what a goddamn disaster. she got that from me i think
Alex: no, youre both disasters separately
Y/N: Fuck you guys. Give me a break.
You hear the piano start to play again, and someone pulling the mic forward. You look up to see pink hair.. And someone kind of familiar. She’s wearing black slacks, a white collared shirt, and suspenders. The shirt is partially open, and you see part of a pink gem showing through on her chest. It looks like she’s got mascara running down her face.
And then.. she starts to sing.
It’s lovely. It’s slow and a bit sad, but she seems to be enjoying herself. She’s definitely done this before. Quite a few of the people around quiet down some, so you can hear her pretty clearly. You drink some, and text your friends.
Y/N: Guys, I lied. There’s a cute gem here who can sing.
Alex: holy fuk
Alex: what
Y/N: She looks kind of familiar though? I can’t quite place it though.
Harper: dude theres like near 100 gems now in little homeworld lol
Harper: you’ve probs seen most in passing? :P
Alex: are you serious Y/N? cant flirt with human women so u turn to aliens? lmfao
Y/N: Ohhhhh my god. Die.
The gem on stage sings the chorus with gusto - man she’s really getting into this. You’re kind of taken a bit with her performance. It just pulls you. But also.. She really seems familiar now and it’s bothering you.
Y/N: No I’m serious she seems really familiar and not in that In Passing kind of way.
Harper: what does she look like?
Alex: yeah a description would be nice
Harper: TAKE A PIC
Alex: holy shit YES
Y/N: I can’t take a pic. She’s too far away, it’ll be blurry.
Alex: literally just zoom in lord almighty
Y/N: Okay. Hold on a sec.
You turn on your camera app, and face the stage. Looks like the gem is actually finishing up her song. Perfect, you’ll snap a pic once she stands up. She finishes, and most of the people are clapping for her. You zoom in, and it’s grainy, but decent enough to make out most of her. You snap the pic.
The flash was on.
A couple people turn to look at you, and you try turning away quickly, horrified, and see the gem looking in your direction before walking off into the crowd of people. You cannot imagine a worse scenario.
Y/N: FUCK FUCCCCKKKKKK.
Y/N: (image sent)
Y/N: I GOT YOUR FUCKING PIC BUT THE FLASH IS ON.
Y/N: I’M PRETTY SURE SHE SAW THAT IT WAS ME THAT TOOK THE PIC.
With shaking hands, you take another sip of your drink and wait for a reply. Why is life like this.
Harper: uh.
Harper: ummm.
Alex: wait
Alex: one fucking second
Y/N: WHY ARE NONE OF YOU CARING ABOUT MY PLIGHT.
Y/N: I’M TRYING NOT TO COMBUST ON THE SPOT HERE.
Alex: shut up for one second
Alex: harper isnt that
Harper: uhh. yeah i think so.
Y/N: WHAT!? WHO IS IT. WHY DOES THAT MATTER AT THIS POINT.
Alex: lmao i cant believe i have to tell u this
Alex: bitch do u remember that shit that happened last summer
Alex: where half the town almost died from that gem shit
Alex: that’s her Alex: that’s the bitch who almost killed like, the entire planet
Harper: you know that night your dad almost died??
As you’re typing back a reply, someone pulls the stool out next to you and takes a seat. You see a sliver of pink out of the corner of your eye as you try not to actually Look. Oh god. It’s her. God can’t help us now.
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hey. share your Thoughts on the cutesy and unassuming line youve referred to it during our Trans Scott Discussions but never elaborated
i actually have gone semi in-depth abt it here but it was in the middle of the night and more about trying to help a dude w the ~abstract nature of gender~ so nobody except the question asker really saw it BUT ID LOVE TO TALK ABOUT IT AGAIN WITH MORE CLARITY. big paragraphs under the read!
okay like. firstly you have to look at scott as an archetype and what exactly he was written to be before you can get into top ten transed gender moments. i mentioned in the previous explanation how the scott pilgrim character was written by o’malley as an expression of “[his] fantasy of being a cute white indie rock boy (which, as an ostracized mixed-race weirdo, was something I occasionally wished for when I was younger).” (the article in question is more about race and the way he’s making sure he doesn’t accidentally make all his characters white out of racial ambiguity like he did w spvtw and i really recommend reading it)
So once you address the way that scott pilgrim is, essentially, partly a self-projection power fantasy, you can see where it comes through. Best fighter in the province, gets all the girls, cool band, doesnt work a job, etc etc etc. this, however (im tapping my screen with a pencil) this doesnt line up with the rest of the story. The way that traditionally male protagonists would deal with arcs is completely different from how scott deals with his character arc. Like, the closure of his break-up with Envy and realizing he was in the wrong rather than them getting together/her slobbering all over him; he doesn’t end up with knives at the end thank GOD and in fact, she moves on from him (and this is why we kill edgar wright - for wanting them to be together :vomit:); he has to take ramonas feelings into account to even attempt to mend their broken relationship - he has to move on from being an asshole, which for most male protagonists, goes hand in hand with power fantasy.
That alone is amazing and #smashgenderroles and all that, but once you carve further into the details like you and i have bc we’re obsessed with meta, its not just within the arc itself where hes positioned as non-traditionally masculine. Its also the way he is with his loved ones, whether friends or romantic interests.
Him being his best self is entirely due to this softness that he has. Scott’s relationship with knives, positioned in the first book as creepy but something to be semi-appreciative of, is bad and reads very. Cis to me. Idk how else to describe it, but thats how it is. The same goes for some of his time with Lisa, Envy (USE HER CHOSEN NAME YOURE TRANS YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS *SHAKES HIM*), and Kim throughout the course of the books. Spoiler alert, its when he’s being an asshole and ignoring ppls feelings and ignoring his own past mistakes.
Scott, as he is who he is, despite being a skilled fighter, is, well. Somewhat pathetic. Or, well, i guess a better way to say it is that he inspires a sense of protectiveness in people? Despite being pretty self-reliant (at least in the fighting sense) and being a dick (at least in the all the time sense), his friends love and care for him, attempting to help him when he massively depressed, or when hes fighting the exes.
Even ramona feels this! Here is where we get the first addressing of scott “cutesy and unassuming” pilgrim. Throughout the books, hes constantly juxtaposed against his female counterparts, arguably to a degree more than his male counterparts. Wallace, Stephen Stills, and Niel are his only male friends, with the rest of the dudes being very very very secondary characters or exes, and they usually serve to sometimes goad him, sometimes help him (mostly wallace), sometimes just be his casual friends. On the other hand, all of the female characters, unless theyre very very very secondary (like julies friends), impact his actual character VERY deeply. This in turn calls to mind the time in v5 when scott said all his high school friends were girls and ramona remarks that shes unsurprised he was “raised by teenage girls” as hes “such a sensitive boy.”
Like, the dudes are just dudes hes friends with. Wallace is really the only one that fosters any visible emotional growth in him, but even so, despite living with him, basically being his best friend, and helping him out with the fight training, a lot of the growth that wallace pushes him towards is incidental, and more due to the women in the story.
Theres something kinda eh when you acknowledge that literally every single female character except for julie&co was/is into him, but at the same time, it is pretty interesting when you realize that all of scott’s emotional growth, while not manic pixie dream girl-ed by them, was at least pushed towards him due to his interactions with women. And THATS TRANSGENDERISM.
I mean. Im not a girl. But because of my agab, i feel MUCH more comfortable with having girl friends rather than guy friends, and im sure thats not a rare phenomenon in transmasc ppl. the fact that scott has a cutesy/unassuming demeanour to him, especially when you consider that this statement is coming from his girlfriend, the frequent references to him being soft and “raised by girls” and, as said by envy in a flashback, “the girl of the relationship,” it all points to the conclusion of him being very non-traditionally masculine at the very least, and definitively trans at the most.
Anyways.. I dunno if that makes ANY sense but writing this just made me have several very nice relizations about how to read the story in a new light. Tl;dr: scotts trans and i proved it youre welcome everybody
#this was fun to write i didnt even realize the 'female friends play a bigger part in sp than male friends' unti i was writing it#spvtw
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