#im still getting used to the barber thing...

[hart-on-my-sleeve]

5 9 1987 - Superstars - Brutus Beefcake Promo

"Don't worry, I make housecalls."

... so i'd read a fic on that-

[bengals-barnesbabe]

Picture Day

Tee Higgins x Chase!Reader

Desc: You start getting antsy 5 weeks postpartum and find something to do with your hands.

TW: nothing too bad, mostly fluff.

Princess Ti | Main Masterlist

WC: about 1k

＊✿❀ *. ꕥ * · ❀✿＊

The buzz from your clippers fed your creative soul. You had only come in the salon to reminisce and take some time to yourself while your baby girl naps. You couldn't help but miss the chatter of clientele and the smell of coconut oil usually in the air. The pristine white counters in front of each station were completely bare, only each counter’s handheld hair dryer sticking out of the black cubbies.

Sitting in front of the first station, you think back to when your husband asked you what you really wanted in your home. It was a ballsy ask, in your opinion; you weren’t even sure what he meant by it. But he said you could turn the basement into whatever you wanted. It baffled you because you thought he’d want a man cave to escape the realities of marriage. That’s what your dad did, so you thought it was normal to think so.

So you tossed around the idea of taking on more personal and private clients in a home suite. A month later, he pleasantly surprised you with a fully furnished and functional home salon. It resembled a mini version of your main salon in the city. There is nothing that man wouldn't do for you.

After giving birth, Tee kicked into full dad mode. When he said your only job once Tiana was born was to just take care of her, he did not go back on his word. He's been an absolutely phenomenal father and partner, always taking her when you need a break, making sure you eat and stay hydrated, and even getting up during the night to calm her down. Him and your brother are literally upstairs putting together a new nursery glider so your morning feedings can be cozier.

Maybe that's why you're so antsy. You were so used to always caring for others; now that someone is holding you down the same way, you don't know what to do with yourself. You don't even cook anymore. Your mom has been handling all the meals so you can take time and heal. Everything they were doing was amazing, and you deeply appreciated it, but damn, you were bored.

The sound of your phone buzzing made your train of thought drown.

Bigheaded Dumbass🐧

we're done with yo fancy ass chair, come see it while Titi still sleep

sent at 2:23 pm

You thought about going back upstairs for a minute, but a different idea caught your attention.

To: Bigheaded Dumbass🐧

I have a better idea, you bring your wack ass fade to the basement and come sit in my chair😌

read at 2:27 pm

Bigheaded Dumbass🐧

arent you supposed to be resting, imma tell momma👎🏾

To: Bigheaded Dumbass🐧

Im offering you a free haircut and you wanna go rat me out😑 don't you have team pictures in a few days👀

Bigheaded Dumbass🐧

fine im coming, but when momma finds out I'm blaming you

To: Bigheaded Dumbass🐧

yea right, just come down here. AND DONT TELL TEE!

Bigheaded Dumbass🐧

yea... a little late for that one😬

read at 2:33 pm

Great, just when you thought you'd be able to do your own thing, your little brother goes and fucks it up before it happens.

Oh well, you shrugged and walked over to the back of the salon for your supplies to set up for Ja'Marr's haircut. You grabbed an apron for you and a barber cape for him (even though you should let him be itchy for threatening to snitch), your black pro clippers, a razor, a number 1 and 2 comb, some holding spray, and a brush. Then, set up your chair.

Minutes later, you were all ready, and your client walked in with your husband.

"Y/n, what are you doing?" He asked with an amused smirk on his face.

"I'm giving my brother the haircut he so desperately needs." You smile back, patting the back of the chair for J to sit down.

"You're supposed to be resting." He crosses his arms as you drape the cape over your brother.

Smirking, you untie your apron and walk up to your husband with your hands on your hips. "Look at me, babe." You slowly spin around to give him an eyeful of your postpartum baby body.

"I see you, mamas. Trust me, I see you." The very nice thing about everyone making sure you take care of yourself these last few weeks has been your ability to prioritize your "snap back." You weren't working out to get to a certain shape. You were just prioritizing strengthening your core, which meant some belly binding, light ab exercises, and self-care. You were nowhere near your pre-baby weight, but you liked the extra curves, and someone else did too.

"You can't just expect me to just sit down and wait for Tiana to wake up. I gotta keep my body active, practice my trade."

He knew you were saying words, but ever since that apron came off, his mind was somewhere else. "Oh, I know how you can get active."

"Alright, y'all just nasty. Am I getting my hair done or what?" Ja'Marr groans from behind you.

"Yea Tee, you gon' let me work or what?" You say, biting your lip.

He takes a deep breath and shakes his head. "Fine," he says, pulling a waiting chair over to the corner of your area. The 6-week rule playing over and over in his mind.

"Good, now let's get to work. Don't worry babe, you're next." You chirp, picking up the brush to begin the haircut.

But Ja'Marr jerks his head away. "Ay, Y/n don't go too rough now."

You can't help but snort. "Yes, yes, I know. You too tenderheaded for my skills."

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

~ a/n: yall see what I did there ;) last addition to the au for a while. time to go work on some other fics ♡

[contraryclock]

Limbus rambling Don Quixote edition number #2 the second

SO!!! that new canto huh Part 1 is out, im avoiding leaks to the best of my ability, and i am CAUGHT UP! still havent read La Mancha or Don Quixote though but i dont think that matters right now OBVIOUS disclaimer about my lack of knowledge with the source material once again point is i have a crackpot theory that just might not be that uncommon or unlikely? idk we'll see

Also sorry for no ALT text, this uses a lot of images and my fingers are very cold

spoilers under the cut obviously, catch up before you click and otherwise beware

oh yeah baby welcome to the cool people zone im going to be using a mixture of my own screenshots and the Limbus Main Story Library for this, so buckle up

I propose that there are in fact, two Don Quixote's! Our Don, the sinner of limbus company! and a much older, original Don Quixote, the possible Founder / Lord of La Manchaland!

To start, almost all of this theory is based on those flashback bits we get with the colored text, and is running under the assumption that the Yellow text is, reasonably, supposed to be our Don.

... which brings up the question of why they are acting so uncharacteristically in what is supposedly their own story.

Now, onto those flashbacks!

First up we have the instance at 7-9.

This one doesnt tell us much but it gives us some initial context.

The grey text is clearly Vergillius, you can just tell that from the delivery. The blue text is an unknown femenine voice, The yellow text feels somewhat familiar to that deeper voice that Don quixote will have on occasion. Ironically its more clear in her scream there at the end. ... and then we have the masculine voice in the red text.

But we'll get to that later! our next instance is in 7-13, on the inside of the Shooting Rage attraction. (( although i personally think it says Shooting Bagel. ))

okok but actually heres the text

Only the red voice this time, clearly the same person given the delivery too and with the added context of this node and the last one, it can be assumed that this is either the person who dreampt up La Manchaland, or straight up founded it.

And thanks to the Barber's Narration, we can also come to assume that this voice is also a Fixer, if these things are to be true.

Next, in 7-16, is NOT a flashback, but rather the reaction of The Barber.

The Barber recognizes the name to some degree, "THAT name" feels incredibly deliberate. But she is otherwise completely indifferent to Don.

and now we get to talk about this blue fuck

Sanson, Knight of the white Moon, Knight of Mirrors, ect ect, the BASTARD quick unrelated tangent but i think its cool that they made the arguable* main antagonist of Don Quixote possibly also be apart of Demian's Cool Blue Crew™ (( DCBC )) (( i say this because he shares his dialogue background with the other members of the blue crew we've met )) anyways basically the ENTIRE SEQUENCE he causes is the main reasoning behind my theory here *arguable ok again i havent read the book so i have no idea if this is an accurate assessment of his character i saw an article say that he was "arguably" the antagonist once and i haven't talked to anyone who has actually read the book to yap at about before i make these posts. addendum over

The fact of the matter is, Don Quixote does a right shit job of recounting her own story. She gets lines wrong, minor details, and this becomes readily apparent as soon as she implies that her own fucking shoes are who she was talking to, and that they are given proper reply. (( My thoughts are that instead of Rocinante, the role is in fact Sancho, but we have no evidence of that being the case ))

We also get the most telling flashback lines in this segment!

...The voice we've come to associate with Don Quixote is shown to NOT say her own line, but rather that of the line in red. And in both of these incidents, ellipsis are used to blank out a word, my bets are all on that word being "Knight" baybee

THATS A WRAP FOLKS we've established all the evidence for my epic theory that uhhh the Red voice in don's flashbacks are an Older, Original Don Quixote and that its possible that our Don is a 2'st Don instead of a real Don

As for why this is happening??? I have no fuckin idea its the first part of the canto i just wanted to get my thoughts out

i hope this wasnt too incomprehensible! as is usual dont follow me ect ect and reply or something if you have anything to add, as said im not very knowledgeable on the source material. or do that thing where you reblog with an additional comment because i will reblog that. free reblog ok goodbye now i will be stabbed to death momentarily

[clubdionysus]

[BAD DECISION #10] Blonde

warnings: b is in her bleach era. love that for her!! jaykay is in the chapter for like 1.5 seconds and still manages to be the best thing about it. also if u think wow holly sometimes your chapters end very similarly, uhhh yes. ur right. mainly because my brain is smooth but also because jungkook is a creature of habit! it’s within his character traits! not because im stupid! even if i am!

soundtrack: space - audrey nuna;  blonde - maisie peters

wc: 3.5k

bd total wc: 540k (on-going)

minors dni | AO3 | series masterlist 

You suppose you really shouldn't be surprised when Seokjin leaves you on read. It happens as soon as he escapes the city, just like it always does. 

It's always the same; he'll come back to town for a few days - to visit friends, his family, or maybe for a haircut with the only barber he trusts - then leaves just as quickly as he comes.

The predictability of it all would be funny, you think, but your knees are getting worn out from how many times you fall for it; his charm, his deception, his pretty lips that soothe the burn of his selfish choices. 

He'll be radio silent for a while, and then suddenly, as if he's finally changed the batteries in his walkie-talkie, he won't be. It'll most likely be when he's on his way back to town in a few months time.

The saddest part is that you know you'll want to see him when he does. Will have the burning desire to show him just how well you've been; how well you've coped without him.

Most of all? You'll want him to know just how much you don't need him.

Inevitably, he'll end up in your bed, and you'll end up all in your head - again - overthinking and underestimating just how easy it is for him to drop you. Forgetting just how badly he fucked you up, only for him to remind you in the most callous of ways.

When Danbi comes home on Thursday night - three days since Seokjin's last message - she knows exactly what's happened. You've got a special kind of pout reserved for Seokjin-related upsets. It's always a little soft yet incredibly hard to break.

"You gotta stop letting him in," she says over a glass of red. She hates the taste, but loves the soft buzz in the pit of her stomach. Though she's much better suited to Moscato, Danbi will never turn her nose up at free wine.

If she knew why you were drinking it, she might consider rejecting it.

Seokjin's favourite. You'd bought it on the way home from work. Just couldn't help yourself.

Had figured that at least when you hugged yourself to sleep that evening, your lips would taste like his used to do, on the nights when he'd tell you that you're the most delightful thing he's ever laid his eyes upon. Would be all giggly. Wine drunk. Happy. In love.

But it's been a while since he did that. Feels like a lifetime ago, now. 

You shrug as you let the ruby red liquid swirl in your glass. Fighting against your feelings feels like swimming against the tide.

Always struggling to breathe. Never winning. Failing. Falling. 

"I don't know how to, Dan."

"But you do," she insists.

And she's right. Of course you do. 

His number has never been blocked, but a simple restriction of access to you would solve so many of your problems.

Thing is, you kind of like him still being your problem. At least that way, on a technicality, he's still yours. Kind of.

Every time he comes back to the city, it's still your bed that he ends up in.

Never for the night. Just for an hour or two - but for long enough for you to convince yourself that he can't stay away.

The lies you let your mind whisper are insidious. You're irresistible. He's still just as affected by you as you are by him. He can't possibly leave you.

And yet he does, each and every time.

He doesn't ever let you go. Not fully. Whenever you think you're getting over it, he shows up just to get you under him; his thumb, his spell, his body.

You're halfway through the bottle of wine when Danbi tells you once more that you need to get Seokjin out of your hair.

You've reached the end of it by the time you're grabbing your purse and heading for the closest Olive Young.

It's just down the street, by the crossroads that lead into town, and the staff there have seen you in worse states. A little tipsy has nothing on the mascara-stained eyes they used to be greeted with during the worst days of the breakup.

"Sure about this?" Danbi asks just to check before you take the boxes in your hands to the counter.

"Absolutely not - but he always hated me blonde," you grin a little sardonically. The happiness that comes with this change will be temporary, but you have to remind yourself that so was he. "At least even if I can't resist him, he'll resist me."

Peroxide and perhaps a little fried, your blonde hair had caught his attention in the early days - but you had dyed your hair dark in a bid to keep it. 

He'd said some bullshit in a conversation amongst friends about his preferences, and how he favoured the 'natural look'. You weren't together at the time, not officially - but everyone there was a friend of his. They all knew you'd be going home with him. It only took two boxes of dye to get him asking to be exclusive. A week later he was introducing you to his friends as his girlfriend. 

Funny what a little bit of conformity can do for a man who loves playing by the rules. 

You assume his desire to tick the boxes and do what is expected of him is also why he was such a bellend when it came to the glitter you liked to dust yourself in. 

Nobody's perfect though, so he was willing to overlook it. Was just one of the flaws he perceived in you. When you love someone, you accept them.

He ultimately never grew to love it, but for a while, you thought he might.

Bleach boxes in one hand, another bottle of wine in the other, you waste no time and head straight for the bathroom. Danbi follows you right in. She's always there to lend a hand or at least provide a Spotify playlist to get you through your woes. 

Folding the powder into the developing lotion by the sink, you know your bleach-induced bathroom antics could get you a spot in a Brad Mondo video.

All a little haphazard, you're without a mixing bowl and brush, so are having to use an old takeout container and a plastic spoon, instead.

It's not quite how the instructions suggest you should mix it all up, but no good ever comes from following the rules.

You'd tried for Seokjin, and look where that got you.

Unlike him, trusty Tupperware has never done you dirty before. No reason why it should now. 

Danbi sits on the closed toilet seat, legs crossed, a small bottle of bubbles in her hand. The bubbles had been a Christmas party favour from the office job she'd quit four months ago. Rediscovered when she'd been cleaning her room earlier that day, Danbi had taken to blowing pretty little bubble flurries your way all afternoon. 

Your reflection is captured in the peacock sheen of the bubbles while you study your rapidly developing hair in the mirror. 

You haven't bothered to change out of your shirt. It's not yours. One of Seokjin's. It's navy, and you hope the bleach ruins it.

"I think I've fucked up," you say all rather calmy, talking about your hair and not the shirt. It's not the end of the world if you have. Just hair, you always think.

Danbi shrugs. Has clearly spent too much time in your company, because she echoes exactly what you're thinking: "Just hair, babe. It'll grow."

That's the joy of your friendship; you both encourage each other with the same dumb remarks whenever you feel like you've reached the point of no return. 

After all, if you can't go back? 

Go forward.

"Plus," she adds, blowing more bubbles instead of taking a breath. "You can just chalk it up to being your hot mess era."

"Been in that for months already," you smile at her in the reflection of the mirror. You prod a little at your roots, and know that you definitely should have waited a little longer to work the bleach up to them. Bollocks.

You've done this enough times to know you'll end up with a gold band haloing around the top of your hair thanks to how easily your roots always lift. Nightmare. 

"Exactly, so you may as well look the part," Danbi encourages. Worst influence going, she is. Also the best at times, too. You find comfort in the fact she won't always say what you want to hear, but what you need to hear instead.

The conversation dissolves into empty chatter, gossip about Danbi's dog walking clients, mentions of Taehyung and how he's still trying to talk her into a mates-rates discount despite the fact they aren't actually 'mates'. She asked you about your Bartender That Smiles, and you say he's all good - before you have to insist there's nothing going on there. 

"He's got issues with his ex," you explain.

She rolls her eyes. "Don't they all? Boys and their first loves, I swear to God."

"Not sure she was his first," you defend, though you're not sure why. The thought lingers as you rummage around for an old tube of toner that you know you have hiding in the bathroom cabinet somewhere. It's been a while since your hair was pale enough to take toner, so it's been pushed right to the back.

Danbi is shooed from her perch on the toilet seat and into the living room as you let the shower run to heat it a little.  

The first crash of water against your skin is lukewarm. Tepid. Unappealing, but necessary. 

You hate anything other than boiling-you-alive degrees Celsius, but know you need to be kind to your hair after the torture you've put it through. The water runs cloudy until the bleach is rinsed out, and then it runs purple thanks to your silver shampoo. It pools around your feet and seeps into the drain. Wishful thinking has you hoping memories of Seokjin will do just the same.

It's just to preemptively tone it, but you can't help but worry about the pigment taking too strongly on your roots. 

The ash toner you found in the cupboard is in a box by the sink. You plan on putting that over the top of whatever mess your hair is anyway, but it doesn't hurt to get a head start on the process. 

The water glistens a deep violet, briefly coating your skin - and for some reason, all you can think about is Jeongguk, and how you'd really like to be downing a Purple Starfucker (or five) with him right now. He really is the perfect distraction. 

Still, you have a task at hand. You rinse your hair; ring it out. Sigh as you frown at the mess that greets you in the mirror - lilac roots, a yellow band haloing just like your thought it would, and silver ends. Brilliant.

It's as you're sitting with Danbi in the living room a little while later - body wrapped in a towel that isn't half as fluffy as Jeongguk's favourite, ashy toner smothering your peroxide blonde hair - that you notice your phone flash on the coffee table.

Danbi clocks it first, and stifles a laugh as she reads the screen. "Isn't that the guy from the club?"

You assume she means Jeongguk, and are a little perplexed to see it's Jimin's name on your screen instead. 

"Yeah... Jimin. Smooth talker, shit shagger."

"A glowing review."

"Hey, I still let him think he was good," you say as you reach for your phone to read his message out loud to Danbi. "You guys out tomorrow night?"

Sipping on her wine, Danbi raises a brow. Shakes her head in confusion. "He hoping for round two?"

"Fuck knows."

It's just gone midnight, so you consider maybe he's thinking about his desire for a hook-up, and is hoping for a safe bet in the form of you. 

And so you don't reply. If he double texts, you'll just lie and say you've fallen asleep.

The scent of your toner is beginning to give you a headache, so you go to rinse it and bid farewell to your final day as a brunette.

Sleep evades you. Doesn't want to let go of who you were, apparently. Wine makes you sleepy, and yet you're wired as if you've just had a triple shot americano.

But then it's three in the morning, and all you can seem to smell is the deep conditioner you bathed your hair in that evening. 

Somehow, when you look to the empty space beside you - delicately ruffled, a dent prevailing in the pillow - you convince yourself that you can smell fig leaves and coconut. The notes of his favourite aftershave linger like the ache in your chest. It's hollow, and you can't work out why it hurts quite as much as it does. 

If there's nothing there, how can it be so painful?

You sniff back tears that fail to truly form and pull your phone from beneath your pillow. It's hard to move your fingers when they're tangled up in puppet strings that Seokjin is refusing to let go of, but eventually you manage to tap through some Instagram stories in a bid to distract yourself from him. 

Inspirational quotes don't do much for you, nor do the engagement pictures of people you haven't given a second thought since graduation. There's an abundance of them. Smiling faces. Diamonds, or maybe just cubic zirconia. Fresh sets of nails, hands that are pink and warm from the heat of whoever's been holding them.

It's a curious thought; what people who haven't spoken to you in years must think of you now. 

You were the one who was going to succeed. Going far in life, made for a boardroom, would look incredible in a pantsuit - and yet you're working in a cafe, first-class degree of no more worth than the tissue paper you flush down the toilet. 

See, you switched out life goals for glitter. You wear it like armour; protect yourself from the world around you. Who cares about seriousness and success when you're a constant disco? Not you. Could never be you.

Or at least, you hope that's what people think. Hope that no one realises you're covering yourself in artificial shine; like a canvas in acrylic because you were too impatient to watch the oil paint dry.

One day you'll glow. Glow for real. 

For a while, you thought you had been with Seokjin. 

All you see when you look in the mirror these days is tarnished silver; copper alloy pretending to be much more than what it really is. Your skin will turn green eventually.

There is, however, one person you've managed to fool. 

When his story pops up - a repost of tomorrow night's paint party event at Dionysus - you find yourself clicking through to your DM thread without much thought. You know he's at work. Know it's a 50/50 whether or not he'll get back to you before your mind begins to berate you again for how miserable you feel. 

It's a simple message - hey - and you're pleased that it's met with an equally simple reply not even a minute later.

JustJK: To what do I owe the pleasure?

You decided that 'I'm about to cry over my shitbag ex so chose to message you instead' probably won't be Jeongguk's favourite thing to hear, so you opt for a little white lie.

You: Just wondering how the kids are <3

Part of you worries he won't understand what the fuck you're on about - but of course, he does. He's Jeongguk. Gets you better than you get yourself, these days.

JustJK:  Missing their mother. 

JustJK:  Perry the Pigeon almost fell earlier.

JustJK:  Roger the Robin looks like he has a broken wing.

JustJK: Must be one of yours. Inherited his mother's wonkiness <3

With each message that comes through, your smile grows wider in the midnight darkness of your bedroom. 

You: Careful or I'll file for joint custody.

You: Get poor Roger away from his father's cruel remarks </3

There's an ease to how you joke together, both aware of how unserious you are. There's no second-guessing, no worrying about saying the wrong thing. If you do, you'll say sorry and move on. No harm, no foul.

JustJK: Your appeal won't hold up in court, Byeol.

JustJK:  You've neglected them ever since you spawned them.

JustJK:  Haven't even paid them a visit!!!

Laughter stifles in your throat as your body curls up into a more comfortable position. The audacity of this boy, you think, ignoring the way he manages to get you entirely focused on something that isn't your own despair.

You:  You've got full custody!!!

JustJK:  And you're still allowed to come for supervised visits!!!!!

JustJK:  smh and to think you call yourself their mother.

JustJK: I'm their mother now.

You pout at your screen, and whine a small little 'nooo'. 

You:  They need me :(

JustJK: Come and see them, then. They miss their mother.

You:  Tomorrow?

He reads the messages instantly, but takes a little longer than usual to reply. It worries you slightly. Makes you more aware of your surroundings. The scent of Seokjin's aftershave begins to permeate the air once more.

Until, all rather suddenly, it doesn't anymore.

JustJK:  I'm not working tomorrow night, but Jimin's insisting on going to the paint party - you coming?

You:  Will Perry the Pigeon be there?

JustJK: If he falls before I leave for the club, then yes.

It's not a bad proposition. One that quite intrigues you. One that has you agreeing, and him telling you to fuck off and go to sleep. He's got work to do, he says. 

It's actually quite quiet at the club - Yeonjun just caught him looking at his phone with a dumb smile a few too many times for Jeongguk's liking. Doesn't wanna get caught out again. 

Especially doesn't want him catching onto the fact that there's a reason Jeongguk's eyes light up like Disco Balls when he looks at his phone.

Yeonjun doesn't really have friends who are girls, Jeongguk reasons with himself. Won't understand that he's perfectly capable of having a little flirt without it meaning anything more than that - after all, isn't that just what banter is? Friendly flirting? He does it with the boys all the time. Doesn't mean fuck all. Just fun.

Jeongguk's a couple of years older than his cerulean-haired coworker, and has learnt the hard way that you really shouldn't escalate friends above the level of purely platonic. One day Yeonjun will realise this. 

For now, though, Yeonjun'll shag anyone who looks at him in the right direction. Has probably already ruined a few good friendships. Doesn't even realise he's done it.

Jeongguk trusts himself not to make the same mistakes he's made in the past with you. Thinks that he's pretty happy with how things are. Has missed the dynamics of friendships with girls. Is looking forward to Monday movie night with you and Danbi again.

And yet when he gets home to find Perry the paper pigeon on his bed, he can't help but smile.

You wake up to a picture of the fallen bird in your DMs - and even though you'll whine and complain about it when you see him that evening, all you can do is smile, too.

JustJK:  Looks like we're having a wholesome family trip to Dionysus tonight.

You: Mummy and Daddy reunited at last <33 Perry will be so happy.

JustJK: It's okay, you don't have to lie.

JustJK:  I know you're talking about yourself, not Perry.

Jeongguk doesn't send the message where he tells you not to call him Daddy. Knows you'll read into it; tease him about it. It's not like he's got a thing for it, or anything, he just... maybe wouldn't be opposed to it, and so he'd rather not be called it when he's having casual conversations with you. Wouldn't wanna get flustered. 

Part of you already knows this. Is precisely why you'd said it. It's not really your style, not the kind of thing that gets you going.

But it is also exactly why you choose to end your next message with, 'See you tonight, Daddy x'.

You're laughing as you send it.

And as he receives it, Jeongguk groans. Buries his head into his pillow. Crumples Perry a little in the process. Whines. 

"Don't fuck this up, Jeongguk."

AO3 | MASTERLIST | NEXT

[the-s1lly-corner]

Jeff the Killer cutting reader's hair (platonic)

debating on if i wanna draw tonight but idk , i have a few wips i need to get to + i drew all of the mane 6 for a small little infected au im cooking up and i still need to line and color those

Switched to mobile because my organs started aching again hisshiss

okay so lets say hypothetically he gets something stuck in your hair that forces you to have to cut it

jeff is by no means a talented barber but hes done well enough with his own hair between now and running away from his home after.... yeah... he has a few years of experience under his belt ...!

Better at doing short hair styles so you might have to accept that if you cant afford a barber or cant get to one ooor are in a pinch and need your hair fixed ASAP because of shenanigans

Probably makes lightly makes fun of you (and dare I say, with his older brother instinct just barely kicking in, scolding you for being too rough on your hair) for having split ends

If you shed a lot hes going to make comments about it while hes brushing your hair out (he sheds a lot too) (friendly fire)

Kind of a hypocrite because he doesn't know shit about self care I bet he uses dawn dish soap to clean himself and douses himself in axe body spray

Gives you a pat on the head when hes done

Tries to avoid responsibility if hes the one at fault for your hair getting messed up in the first place

Maybe it's the position as barber but you guys unload while hes trying to fix your hair

You both learn things about each other you wouldn't have otherwise found out

Okay now fix his hair hes running around all night and doesn't have much time or thought to properly detangle it and shit

Dandruff man

[yuukei-yikes]

care for my kagepro au inspired by phineas and ferb across the 2nd dimension where they hang out in a dark undisclosed location and they all have knives

this is extremely over the top and supposed to be funny btw. ayano's plot hole plan that makes no sense doesn't work but from another angle. she gets spit back from the daze in the same way it doesn't make sense for her to stay in there and she's still in THE AIR FROM JUMPING so erm she shatters a leg and maybe her spine too. fun times. she walks with a limp now

ayano in the daze's like. but i wanted this -> i deserved this -> im guilty i got what i wanted though -> i deserve punishment -> this IS punishment -> but i wanted this (restart) SO in this scenario where she survived she's still struggling with guilt because she DARED try to take the easy way out when she knew her siblings needed her. so now she's edgelord I must protect my siblings i dont deserve my cape (edgily puts scarf away) also the eyepatch is for extra edgelord vibes but i think it'd be cool if she can't control favoring because she's so all over the place so it's always active, and since she feels so much regret she can only project that one memory of her jumping to ppl. sad. so she covers it for the sake of everyone.

because of ayano's survival it's evident kenjirou is posessed so ayano+mekatrio move out immediately and are in actual hiding from him. that's why they're at undisclosed location. seto brings mary with them. so ayano's like ok, saeru wants all the snakes together, they're all gonna gather anyway it's better to have them all in one place and have eyes on them. so she starts the gathering process herself. in this saeru is extremely just Out There cartoonishly taking over the city style i told you this is based on phineas and ferb. i told you. btw the joke is that it's insanely over the top. i just find it episodic and joyful.

also ayano's cold to shintaro because she can't afford to have her feelings for him distract her, she has no right to normal teenage girl feelings like a CRUSH. but shintaro still believes kano as ayano saying IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT was the real ayano which matches with her new behaviour towards him so he's extremely pathetic about it. he's with her through her entire recovery and becomes her right hand man which the trio HAAATE bc ayano doesn't let them do anything but shintaro can always come<3 their missions go from buying groceries to saving haruka and takane from the evil lab to kidnapping hibiya and hiyori. shit like that.

they get hibiya and hiyori and it's their BIGGEST PRIORITY to protect them because they're saeru's next target and if they can avoid having all snakes out it's by making sure these 2 stay alive. erm they don't wanna be there though. it's dark in here and you're all weird as hell. momo is tasked with babysitting them. she's not happy about it.

momo never gets her money controlled, dropped out from school since day 1 and the fame got to her head so she's kinda awful. she's the only one allowed out of wherever the fuck they are because of work she's literally the one paying 4 everything. toxic yuri situation with kido who has one side of their head shaved. you know how it goes. also kido acts rly tough like they're out there killing thugs and goons but mostly they just make food

takane is the medic in the same way barbers used to be surgeons in the middle age which means everyone tries really hard not to get hurt so they don't have to go to her. also saeru's whole Experiments on haruka and takane thing is a lot more evil and ermmm she has one less leg and she's permanently connected to a reactor thing of sorts so she's also the team's tech! woohoo!! it's unknown whether she got opening eyes or not because she has no idea how to activate it which makes ayano rly frustrated. same goes for haruka who has not woken up since aug 15. which is the main reason takane started watching youtube tutorials on medicine. get you a girl who will take care of you if you're in a coma and there is no access to a hospital.

seto and mary wield weapons for one reason or another. kano is extremely guilty about shintaro's guilt but also hates him more than ever bc ayano won't trust him anymore and now shintaro's the one knowing everything. probably some doomed yaoi in there somewhere. this is my evil kagepro au

[blueskittlesart]

hiiiiiiii so um. ik a while back you posted a doodle of yourself with short hair and i’ve been thinking about cutting mine short—do you have any tips about picking a style or anything that might not be obvious about having short hair?

oh fuck yes I do! I've had short-medium hair in a few different styles since I was thirteen (im 20 now, so it's been a while) and I recently buzzed my head for the second time so i'm pretty experienced in this area lol!

first thing you should know is that if anyone has ever suggested that you don't have the "facial structure" for short hair or that you're not gonna look good with it is full of shit. no one tells men they don't have the face for short hair. i promise it's gonna look good. chop that shit off

in terms of style, be aware of the amount of work the style you pick is going to take. when I first cut my hair short the reference photo I gave my stylist was of a heavily styled cut--something that would take gel and hairspray and a lot of effort to maintain every day. The base cut was fine, but it didn't look like my reference photo without a ton of effort on my part, and at 13 I wasn't really willing to put that kind of effort in, so my hair ended up unstyled and kind of flat and weird for a while. if you're someone that doesn't like to put a ton of work into styling their hair every day, pick a style you can just wake up and go with. my personal favorite lazy bitch haircut is the buzzcut that i currently have. insanely low maintenance and comes with the added benefit of stopping weird men from talking to you in public. perfect haircut.

Also be aware of how your cut is going to grow out and/or how often you're going to have to get it trimmed to keep it looking the same way. that was something i remember being really surprised about when i first cut my hair off--when your hair gets to a certain length, it grows more slowly and you don't have to cut it as regularly to maintain its health and your look. when you have shorter hair, your hair grows FAST, and if you're not planning on growing it out you're going to need much more regular trimming to keep it in check. Make sure that that's in your budget or that you have the time and skill to trim it back yourself! Alternatively, if you're planning on growing it out after the cut, look into how it's gonna grow out so you know what to expect in terms of look and styling. I like to buzz my head mid-summer and let it grow out for about a year before shaving it all off again, because I know that I like all the stages of growing out that cut and I know how to style all of them. there's always gonna be an awkward stage of growing out your hair, but make sure that you're not gonna spend a ton of time hating your look just to get your length back if that's your plan!

my final advice: if you're looking for a specifically masculine haircut as an afab person, do not go to the same older female stylist you've been going to since you were 10 years old. trust me. You can show that woman a picture of a whole grown man for reference and you will still be leaving with a karen cut. she is incapable of giving you what you want. Either try to find a stylist who you trust to use your reference faithfully, go to a male barber, or cut it yourself! especially if you're going for a simple buzzcut or something similar, it's really easy to cut your own hair at home with a pair of electric clippers from amazon. I've been cutting my hair with safety scissors and some clippers borrowed from a friend for going on 4 years now. it's easier than you think!! youtube tutorials are your best friend.

now onto things you might not know:

listen to me. this is the single most important piece of advice i can give you. buy spray-on sunscreen and SPRAY YOUR FUCKING HEAD. there is no hell like a peeling sunburn all over your fucking scalp. it will happen and you will not expect it and you will want to die. you are going to think your hair is thick enough that it won't happen and it is going to happen anyway. do not take chances with this shit

you do NOT need nearly as much shampoo and conditioner for a short cut as you are instinctively going to put in your hands after years of having long hair. think, proportionately, about the product-to-hair ratio you were using BEFORE your haircut, and do not squirt out more than like a nickel-sized pool of product at the absolute most. your bank account and your hair will thank you.

short hair still needs to be taken care of especially if you're bleaching/otherwise chemically treating it regularly! if you're putting harsh chemicals in your hair you should be using restorative treatments afterwards regardless of length. no matter how short your hair is it can still get stringy and gross and break!!

in that same vein, you CANNOT be applying bleach to your short hair in the same way you do for your long hair. listen to me. Drugstore bleach cannot be sitting directly on your scalp for more than 20 minutes. if your hair is short, any amount of bleach you put in it is going to end up sitting directly on your scalp. i know it's tedious to do multiple passes but chemical burns are even more tedious. please do not put bleach on your skin

also in regards to bleaching/color, keep in mind that your semipermanent color is probably going to have less longevity in your short hair than it did in your long hair. Since all your hair is close to your scalp now, it's taking the brunt of your shampoo regimen and therefore the dye is going to wash out quicker than it would in long hair where most of the dye is further away from the scalp. if you're regularly trimming your hair to keep it your desired length, you're also going to be cutting out a lot more color than you would by just trimming dead ends on long hair. you may find yourself spending more on hair dye if you dye your hair regularly!

[snowball-doie]

whats halloween like in the 127 house

before the kids, the boys always did halloween stuff at the office for content. ahri would stay at home and dress up wearing something revealing so that the second the boys were back, they'd jump her. one year she straight up just wore white lingerie, bunny ears, and a bunny tail. "i dressed up like doyoung--" she could barely get the joke out before jaehyun had his lips pressed against hers and mark was unclasping her white bra. sometimes the boys would go out to party in clubs that were more catered towards idols.... on the rare occassion they would do that and they wanted to take ahri with, she would just wear a costume with a mask so that no one could take a picture of her face if they saw her with the boys.

yuta's been planning reyna's costume for MONTHS. he's always dressing her up, right, so this is the most important day of the year for him because he gets to go all out, buying her the most expensive costumes, putting all the accessories together, making things to go along with it, etc. haechan helps her get into her costume before johnny takes her and jooha to school. jungwoo always tries to do her hair, but taeyong has to fight him off-- he's been a victim of jungwoo's barber shop, he will not have their daughter suffer the same. reyna outgrew her princess phase at a fairly young age, so yuta's able to put together cool costumes from animes or popular film franchises, like harry potter or marvel. one year reyna was sophie from howl's moving castle, and yuta dressed up as the turnip head, and tiny jooha was markl <3

jooha doesn't like complicated costumes that take a lot of time to put on or feel heavy or irritate him throughout the day-- they learned when he was little that if they put something like thor's armor on him, he would just take it off before lunch time. so jungwoo, mark, doyoung, and ahri will sit with him and figure out, like, a month in advance what he wants to dress as. when reyna does harry potter one year (she dressed as fleur, and yuta was krum), they just put jooha in a gryffindor uniform and a thunderbolt sticker on his forehead (which he took off at lunch), and he wore his usual glasses. boom. harry potter. he dresses as favorite era haechan one year........ the boys cant stop laughing. dont worry, he does cherry bomb johnny too. and then fire truck taeyong. you know, none of his dads are safe when it comes to halloween, okay. they should've seen this coming when he wanted to dye his hair like them lmao.

when the kids are older, reyna, um. well. she wears, um. revealing clothing to say the least-- yuta HATED the first year when she said she didnt want him to make a costume for her "what do you mean?" "im going out with my friends this year, so i dont need you to make something. we're going as the fairies from tinker bell" "there's guy fairies in tinker bell" "chichi, you're not invited to go to a party with us"-- he tried to move to jooha, seeing if he could still do something with one of his kids, but all of the options yuta thought of made jooha turn up his nose. he's had a bad time with halloween ever since. "yu, come watch movies with us," ahri begs after she finds him sulking in his bedroom like a wounded cat. "no. my kids hate me" "they dont hate you" "they dont wanna match with me anymore" "they grew up. that happens." and he just rolls over to pout some more. so reyna likes to go partying with friends in hongdae and/or itaewon-- literally anywhere there's a party, she and her friends are there. jooha doesnt dress up by the time he's in high school because no one wears costumes to classes anymore, and he doesnt go out at night, so theres no point in making a fuss over it. instead, jooha and his parents stay in and watch movies together. it's the only time they can be convinced to eat a shit ton of candy without feeling guilty about it.

[kogaan]

hey i saw you post that the only thing that makes you a woman is being female... so a woman can use her/him pronouns, and a 'male' name, and pass as a man, and still be a woman? if so, awesome!! im fine with you classing me as a woman if the definition of woman other than "can bear children" is non existent

so based off your profile and pinned post, i can only assume you aren't an adult. if i'm wrong i do apologize. you and your tumblr just kinda remind me of myself at 14-17!

since i believe you might be a bit younger, the only thing i'm gonna tell you to do is to focus on your education, your hobbies, and your RECOVERY most of all. many things in life will fall into place as time goes on and it will matter little if other people see you as a man or woman. i think maybe you want to be seen as a person, and your needs aren't being met. i truly sympathize with you! i felt the exact same way.

yes, a woman can pass as male and perform masculinity perfectly and still be a woman... dressing like a man and having a man's name etc. is not what makes a man a man. it doesn't make a woman or girl a man, either.

i think if you truly read my post you're referring to, you'd know that i know "woman" absolutely does not simply mean "can bear children". obviously that isn't entirely accurate. a more accurate statement would be something like "women, not men, are the ones with the ability to bear children, even if an individual herself cannot".

my point was that women and girls are those of us born female (or maybe you'd rather say "assigned female at birth". same thing either way, i guess) and our femaleness does not limit anything about ourselves. a woman can wear whatever she wants, including traditionally masculine clothing. a woman can go to a men's barber and get a men's haircut. she's still a woman. any amount of surgery, hrt, name changes, wardrobe change, personality changes, etc, will not magically or scientifically or spiritually turn a woman into a male. you are born female and will be female until long after you are dead. it's not how you identify, it's what you are.

and that's a good thing! being a woman is amazing. unfortunately society is extremely misogynistic and pretty much sexualizes us from birth (+ the violence women and girls receive across the world at the hands of males and patriarchy/religion is absolutely gutting, it's enough to make you want to lose hope or escape). but the best thing you can do for yourself as a young woman is to take care of yourself! embrace your body because your body is you. it's all you've got! you don't have a male soul, you don't have a male mind, you don't have a male personality, you don't have a male body. that's impossible. you're a woman! and that means no limits! being female does not limit you! it does not mean you have to be feminine, it does not mean that when you conform to male standards that you are male. it means you're you, you're a woman/girl, and that's wonderful!

womanhood isn't something you can take comfort in. it's not something you can identify into/out of. it's not being totally feminine and wearing makeup and dresses and having long styled hair and being submissive to men. womanhood is being a woman. and a woman is an adult human female.

i know you might be dealing with a lot of trauma and stress rn so don't even respond to this. just read it carefully! and please be yourself, give yourself some grace, work on your recovery - at least, don't die; there is only time to recover if you are alive. i understand that some days it takes a lot of strength to simply remain here. 💗💗💗

[soapified]

weirdly specific soap mactavish headcanons!! for sfw for funsies

fem!reader

hehe my first (and probably last post) sorryy if the format is confusing im still learning 💔💔. mb if things don’t make sense or i didn’t say the correct name/spelling im bad at english lol

IM SORRYRYRYRY 😭😭

ugh i want him so bad

——————————————————————————

sfw (wrote too much sorry)

words are his love language so if you play them correctly he WILL melt

loves giving and receiving compliments no matter how big or small

sliding him a few compliments at first will flabbergast this poor guy especially ones about his physique 🤭

his nose would twitch instead of him blushing

uses nicknames like “schnookums” “shmoopy” ironically especially to embarrass you in front of everybody else

sneaks in actual little nicknames for you and tries to be sneaky, ex. “love” “lassie/lass” “sweetheart” “sweet girl”

he thought he was being slick, he wasn’t and doesn’t know that

has earned a few snorts and furrowed eyebrows from the rest of them because of his antics lol

wants you to touch his hair but doesn’t wanna admit it (i am not sure if he has any tbh)

doesn’t have time to go to a barber anymore so he shaves and cuts his own hair

talks about his petite little mohawk and chews your ear off about it

“would you still love me if i shaved it off? not so beautiful anymore? arent i?!” he says, jokingly threatening to shave off the feeble strip of “mohawk” standing up in the middle of his scalp

wears Spider-Man pajamas every time he gets a chance

bought the shirt a smaller size so it’s tighter

enjoys it when you stare at his cute little Spider-Man shirt

listens to old white dad metal music and grossly adores radiohead

doesn’t admit he likes soft voices and black box recorder (our lana del rey coded sad girl king!!1!1)

“actually- i have sort of a kinship to the song creep 🤓” and his voice would thicken saying this

genuinely teared up to ‘high and dry’

his hands are very rough, his palms are slightly softer but it sometimes hurts holding them

has scars inside both of his palms

was weary of holding your hands at first because he knows how rough his hands are

does the thing where he strokes your hand with his thumb

is a bath man

has those bath trays that connect from end to end on the bathtub rim

has an arsenal of axe body spray on the tray

loves the brand philosophy because of the smell of the shower gels so he treats himself with a bottle after a long task

his one and only alternative is the dove cucumber soap bars

despises loofahs

tries to start with a cold bath but it’s too scared and then immediately starts to crank the faucet to the hot one

sings in the shower (..when he actually showers)

starts out quiet and hums but the longer it takes, the more it becomes a mini concert

sounds terrible when he sings radiohead

once tried to sing the last part of creep, his voice cracked, he knocked over a shampoo bottle on his foot, and started coughing and almost punched a hole in the shower because of the pain

tries to take cold showers and endures it unlike the bath

uses head and shoulders because he thinks his oily scalp is dandruff

doesn’t know that’s what makes his tiny mohawk flat

refuses to admit he has a skin care routine

“a what? well i barely use anything. very little.. yous gotta believe me!!1!1!1”

aftershave, retinol serum, tatcha moisturizer (he somehow accidentally bought it and was fuming because his military pension isn’t built for that)

uses the same bar of soap he uses for his body as a cleanser

also secretly has an amethyst roller (it constantly falls apart and cracked)

he has a king size bed all for himself

has a shit ton of pillows like a cocoon

bed smells like his own like scent but also a sickening amount of sauvage

never let go of his paw patrol blanket that he bought as a joke in like 2019 because it’s very warm and fluffy

surprisingly let’s you take up most of the space if you want and gives you the paw patrol blanket

used to be a mouth breather and snores so loud

throat used to be so dry and he was afraid of drinking orange juice because it stung

he thought his hoarse morning voice was hot (probably is)

doesn’t snore anymore because he got those sony headphones

he swears they’re magical (they’re really just expensive

he cherishes them and is very attached to them

once fell asleep to his usual playlist, woke up to lana del rey’s “cola”

has this one fluffy white persian cat plush toy that he named ‘goyangi’ but pronounces it horribly, also doesn’t know that it means ‘cat’

“go-YANG-gEE 🤓” and pronounced the actual G twice

“my cat is a SHE. 🙄🙄 she’s pretty little creature isnt she?”

when he’s too embarrassed to say it out loud his second name for it is “Hubert”

has had that thing since like 2014

okay that’s it byee 🫶🫶

might make a 2nd one with both sfw and nsfw

[alphabetboyluvr]

bad decisions - jjk | ten

When his story pops up—a repost of tomorrow night's paint party event at Dionysus—you find yourself clicking through to your DM thread without much thought. You know he's at work. Know it's a 50/50 whether or not he'll get back to you before your mind begins to berate you again for how miserable you feel.  It's a simple message—Hey—and you're pleased that it's met with an equally simple reply not even a minute later. JustJK: To what do I owe the pleasure? You decide that "I'm about to cry over my shitbag ex so chose to message you instead" probably won't be Jungkook's favourite thing to hear, so you opt for a little white lie. You: Just wondering how the kids are. Part of you worries he won't understand what the fuck you're on about - but of course, he does. He's Jungkook. Gets you better than you get yourself, these days. JustJK: Missing their mother. 

Bad Decision #10 - Blonde

warnings: b is in her bleach era. love that for her!! jaykay is in the chapter for like 1.5 seconds and still manages to be the best thing about it. also if u think wow holly sometimes your chapters end very similarly, uhhh yes. ur right. mainly because my brain is smooth but also because jungkook is a creature of habit! it's within his character traits! not because im stupid! even if i am!

soundtrack: space - audrey nuna;  blonde - maisie peters

wc: 3.5k

bd total wc: 370k (on-going)

minors dni | wattpad | series masterlist |

You suppose you really shouldn't be surprised when Seokjin leaves you on read. It happens as soon as he escapes the city, just like it always does. 

It's always the same; he'll come back to town for a few days—to visit friends, his family, or maybe for a haircut with the only barber he trusts—then leaves just as quickly as he comes.

The predictability of it all would be funny, you think, but your knees are getting worn out from how many times you fall for it; his charm, his deception, his pretty lips that soothe the burn of his selfish choices. 

He'll be radio silent for a while, and then suddenly, as if he's finally changed the batteries in his walkie-talkie, he won't be. It'll most likely be when he's on his way back to town in a few months time.

The saddest part is that you know you'll want to see him when he does. Will have the burning desire to show him just how well you've been; how well you've coped without him.

Most of all? You'll want him to know just how much you don't need him.

Inevitably, he'll end up in your bed, and you'll end up all in your head—again—overthinking and underestimating just how easy it is for him to drop you. Forgetting just how badly he fucked you up, only for him to remind you in the most callous of ways.

When Danbi comes home on Thursday night—three days since Seokjin's last message—she knows exactly what's happened. You've got a special kind of pout reserved for Seokjin-related upsets. It's always a little soft yet incredibly hard to break.

"You gotta stop letting him in," she says over a glass of red. She hates the taste, but loves the soft buzz in the pit of her stomach. Though she's much better suited to Moscato, Danbi will never turn her nose up at free wine.

If she knew why you were drinking it, she might consider rejecting it.

Seokjin's favourite. You'd bought it on the way home from work. Just couldn't help yourself.

Had figured that at least when you hugged yourself to sleep that evening, your lips would taste like his used to do, on the nights when he'd tell you that you're the most delightful thing he's ever laid his eyes upon. Would be all giggly. Wine drunk. Happy. In love.

But it's been a while since he did that. Feels like a lifetime ago, now. 

You shrug as you let the ruby-red liquid swirl in your glass. Fighting against your feelings feels like swimming against the tide.

Always struggling to breathe. Never winning. Failing. Falling. 

"I don't know how to, Dan."

"But you do," she insists.

And she's right. Of course you do. 

His number has never been blocked, but a simple restriction of access to you would solve so many of your problems.

Thing is, you kind of like him still being your problem. At least that way, on a technicality, he's still yours. Kind of.

Every time he comes back to the city, it's still your bed that he ends up in.

Never for the night. Just for an hour or two. Long enough for you to convince yourself that he can't stay away.

The lies you let your mind whisper are insidious. You're irresistible. He's still just as affected by you as you are by him. He can't possibly leave you.

And yet he does, each and every time.

He doesn't ever let you go. Not fully. Whenever you think you're getting over it, he shows up just to get you under him; his thumb, his spell, his body.

You're halfway through the bottle of wine when Danbi tells you once more that you need to get Seokjin out of your hair.

You've reached the end of it by the time you're grabbing your purse and heading for the closest Olive Young.

It's just down the street, by the crossroads that lead into town, and the staff there have seen you in worse states. A little tipsy has nothing on the mascara-stained eyes they used to be greeted with during the worst days of the breakup.

"Sure about this?" Danbi asks just to check before you take the boxes in your hands to the counter.

"Absolutely not, but he always hated me blonde," you grin a little sardonically. The happiness that comes with this change will be temporary, but you have to remind yourself that so was he. "At least even if I can't resist him, he'll resist me."

Peroxide and perhaps a little fried, your blonde hair had caught his attention in the early days - but you had dyed your hair dark in a bid to keep it. 

He'd said some bullshit in a conversation amongst friends about his preferences, and how he favoured the 'natural look'. You weren't together at the time, not officially - but everyone there was a friend of his. They all knew you'd be going home with him. It only took two boxes of dye to get him asking to be exclusive. A week later he was introducing you to his friends as his girlfriend. 

Funny what a little bit of conformity can do for a man who loves playing by the rules. 

You assume his desire to tick the boxes and do what is expected of him is also why he was such a bellend when it came to the glitter you liked to dust yourself in. 

Nobody's perfect though, so he was willing to overlook it. Was just one of the flaws he perceived in you. When you love someone, you accept them.

He ultimately never grew to love it, but for a while, you thought he might.

Bleach boxes in one hand, another bottle of wine in the other, you waste no time and head straight for the bathroom. Danbi follows you right in. She's always there to lend a hand or at least provide a Spotify playlist to get you through your woes. 

Folding the powder into the developing lotion by the sink, you know your bleach-induced bathroom antics could get you a spot in a Brad Mondo video.

All a little haphazard, you're without a mixing bowl and brush, so are having to use an old takeout container and a plastic spoon, instead.

It's not quite how the instructions suggest you should mix it all up, but no good ever comes from following the rules.

You'd tried for Seokjin, and look where that got you.

Unlike him, trusty Tupperware has never done you dirty before. No reason why it should now. 

Danbi sits on the closed toilet seat, legs crossed, a small bottle of bubbles in her hand. The bubbles had been a Christmas party favour from the office job she'd quit four months ago. Rediscovered when she'd been cleaning her room earlier that day, Danbi had taken to blowing pretty little bubble flurries your way all afternoon. 

Your reflection is captured in the peacock sheen of the bubbles while you study your rapidly developing hair in the mirror. 

You haven't bothered to change out of your shirt. It's not yours. One of Seokjin's. It's navy, and you hope the bleach ruins it.

"I think I've fucked up," you say all rather calmy, talking about your hair and not the shirt. It's not the end of the world if you have. Just hair, you always think.

Danbi shrugs. Has clearly spent too much time in your company, because she echoes exactly what you're thinking: "Just hair, babe. It'll grow."

That's the joy of your friendship; you both encourage each other with the same dumb remarks whenever you feel like you've reached the point of no return. 

After all, if you can't go back? 

Go forward.

"Plus," she adds, blowing more bubbles instead of taking a breath. "You can just chalk it up to being your hot mess era."

"Been in that for months already," you smile at her in the reflection of the mirror. You prod a little at your roots, and know that you definitely should have waited a little longer to work the bleach up to them. Bollocks.

You've done this enough times to know you'll end up with a gold band haloing around the top of your hair thanks to how easily your roots always lift. Nightmare. 

"Exactly, so you may as well look the part," Danbi encourages. Worst influence going, she is. Also the best at times, too. You find comfort in the fact she won't always say what you want to hear, but what you need to hear instead.

The conversation dissolves into empty chatter, gossip about Danbi's dog walking clients, mentions of Taehyung and how he's still trying to talk her into a mates-rates discount despite the fact they aren't actually 'mates'. She asked you about your Bartender That Smiles, and you say he's all good - before you have to insist there's nothing going on there. 

"He's got issues with his ex," you explain.

She rolls her eyes. "Don't they all? Boys and their first loves, I swear to God."

"Not sure she was his first," you defend, though you're not sure why. The thought lingers as you rummage around for an old tube of toner that you know you have hiding in the bathroom cabinet somewhere. It's been a while since your hair was pale enough to take toner, so it's been pushed right to the back.

Danbi is shooed from her perch on the toilet seat and into the living room as you let the shower run to heat it a little.  

The first crash of water against your skin is lukewarm. Tepid. Unappealing, but necessary. 

You hate anything other than boiling-you-alive degrees celsius, but know you need to be kind to your hair after the torture you've put it through. The water runs cloudy until the bleach is rinsed out, and then it runs purple thanks to your silver shampoo. It pools around your feet and seeps into the drain. Wishful thinking has you hoping memories of Seokjin will do just the same.

It's just to preemptively tone it, but you can't help but worry about the pigment taking too strongly on your roots. 

The ash toner you found in the cupboard is in a box by the sink. You plan on putting that over the top of whatever mess your hair is anyway, but it doesn't hurt to get a head start on the process. 

The water glistens a deep violet, briefly coating your skin - and for some reason, all you can think about is Jungkook, and how you'd really like to be downing a Purple Starfucker (or five) with him right now. He really is the perfect distraction. 

Still, you have a task at hand. You rinse your hair; ring it out. Sigh as you frown at the mess that greets you in the mirror—lilac roots, a yellow band haloing just like your thought it would, and silver ends. Brilliant.

It's as you're sitting with Danbi in the living room a little while later - body wrapped in a towel that isn't half as fluffy as Jungkook's favourite, ashy toner smothering your peroxide blonde hair - that you notice your phone flash on the coffee table.

Danbi clocks it first, and stifles a laugh as she reads the screen. "Isn't that the guy from the club?"

You assume she means Jungkook, and are a little perplexed to see it's Jimin's name on your screen instead. 

"Yeah... Jimin. Smooth talker, shit shagger."

"A glowing review."

"Hey, I still let him think he was good," you say as you reach for your phone to read his message out loud to Danbi. "You guys out tomorrow night?"

Sipping on her wine, Danbi raises a brow. Shakes her head in confusion. "He hoping for round two?"

"Fuck knows."

It's just gone midnight, so you consider maybe he's thinking about his desire for a hook-up, and is hoping for a safe bet in the form of you. 

And so you don't reply. If he double texts, you'll just lie and say you've fallen asleep.

The scent of your toner is beginning to give you a headache, so you go to rinse it and bid farewell to your final day as a brunette.

Sleep evades you. Doesn't want to let go of who you were, apparently. Wine makes you sleepy, and yet you're wired as if you've just had a triple shot americano.

But then it's three in the morning, and all you can seem to smell is the deep conditioner you bathed your hair in that evening. 

Somehow, when you look to the empty space beside you - delicately ruffled, a dent prevailing in the pillow - you convince yourself that you can smell fig leaves and coconut. The notes of his favourite aftershave linger like the ache in your chest. It's hollow, and you can't work out why it hurts quite as much as it does. 

If there's nothing there, how can it be so painful?

You sniff back tears that fail to truly form and pull your phone from beneath your pillow. It's hard to move your fingers when they're tangled up in puppet strings that Seokjin is refusing to let go of, but eventually you manage to tap through some Instagram stories in a bid to distract yourself from him. 

Inspirational quotes don't do much for you, nor do the engagement pictures of people you haven't given a second thought since graduation. There's an abundance of them. Smiling faces. Diamonds, or maybe just cubic zirconia. Fresh sets of nails, hands that are pink and warm from the heat of whoever's been holding them.

It's a curious thought; what people who haven't spoken to you in years must think of you now. 

You were the one who was going to succeed. Going far in life, made for a boardroom, would look incredible in a pantsuit—and yet you're working in a cafe, first-class degree of no more worth than the tissue paper you flush down the toilet. 

See, you switched out life goals for glitter. You wear it like armour; protect yourself from the world around you. Who cares about seriousness and success when you're a constant disco? Not you. Could never be you.

Or at least, you hope that's what people think. Hope that no one realises you're covering yourself in artificial shine; like a canvas in acrylic because you were too impatient to watch the oil paint dry.

One day you'll glow. Glow for real. 

For a while, you thought you had been with Seokjin. 

All you see when you look in the mirror these days is tarnished silver; copper alloy pretending to be much more than what it really is. Your skin will turn green eventually.

There is, however, one person you've managed to fool. 

When his story pops up—a repost of tomorrow night's paint party event at Dionysus—you find yourself clicking through to your DM thread without much thought. You know he's at work. Know it's a 50/50 whether or not he'll get back to you before your mind begins to berate you again for how miserable you feel. 

It's a simple message—hey—and you're pleased that it's met with an equally simple reply not even a minute later.

JustJK: To what do I owe the pleasure?

You decide that "I'm about to cry over my shitbag ex so chose to message you instead" probably won't be Jungkook's favourite thing to hear, so you opt for a little white lie.

You: Just wondering how the kids are &lt;3

Part of you worries he won't understand what the fuck you're on about - but of course, he does. He's Jungkook. Gets you better than you get yourself, these days.

JustJK: Missing their mother. 

JustJK: Perry the Pigeon almost fell earlier.

JustJK: Roger the Robin looks like he has a broken wing.

JustJK: Must be one of yours. Inherited his mother's wonkiness &lt;3

With each message that comes through, your smile grows wider in the midnight darkness of your bedroom. 

You: Careful or I'll file for joint custody.

You: Get poor Roger away from his father's cruel remarks <;/3

There's an ease to how you joke together, both aware of how unserious you are. There's no second-guessing, no worrying about saying the wrong thing. If you do, you'll say sorry and move on. No harm, no foul.

JustJK: Your appeal won't hold up in court, Byeol.

JustJK: You've neglected them ever since you spawned them.

JustJK: Haven't even paid them a visit!!!

Laughter stifles in your throat as your body curls up into a more comfortable position. The audacity of this boy, you think, ignoring the way he manages to get you entirely focused on something that isn't your own despair.

You: You've got full custody!!!

JustJK: And you're still allowed to come for supervised visits!!!!!

JustJK: smh and to think you call yourself their mother.

JustJK: I'm their mother now.

You pout at your screen, and whine a small little 'nooo'. 

You: They need me :(

JustJK: Come and see them, then. They miss their mother.

You: Tomorrow?

He reads the messages instantly, but takes a little longer than usual to reply. It worries you slightly. Makes you more aware of your surroundings. The scent of Seokjin's aftershave begins to permeate the air once more.

Until, all rather suddenly, it doesn't anymore.

JustJK: I'm not working tomorrow night, but Jimin's insisting on going to the paint party—you coming?

You: Will Perry the Pigeon be there?

JustJK: If he falls before I leave for the club, then yes.

It's not a bad proposition. One that quite intrigues you. One that has you agreeing, and him telling you to fuck off and go to sleep. He's got work to do, he says. 

It's actually quite quiet at the club—Yeonjun just caught him looking at his phone with a dumb smile a few too many times for Jungkook's liking. Doesn't wanna get caught out again. 

Especially doesn't want him catching onto the fact that there's a reason Jungkook's eyes light up like Disco Balls when he looks at his phone.

Yeonjun doesn't really have friends who are girls, Jungkook reasons with himself. Won't understand that he's perfectly capable of having a little flirt without it meaning anything more than that—after all, isn't that just what banter is? Friendly flirting? He does it with the boys all the time. Doesn't mean fuck all. Just fun.

Jungkook's a couple of years older than his cerulean-haired coworker, and has learnt the hard way that you really shouldn't escalate friends above the level of purely platonic. One day Yeonjun will realise this. 

For now, though, Yeonjun'll shag anyone who looks at him in the right direction. Has probably already ruined a few good friendships. Doesn't even realise he's done it.

Jungkook trusts himself not to make the same mistakes he's made in the past with you. Thinks that he's pretty happy with how things are. Has missed the dynamics of friendships with girls. Is looking forward to Monday movie night with you and Danbi again.

And yet when he gets home to find Perry the paper pigeon on his bed, he can't help but smile.

You wake up to a picture of the fallen bird in your DMs, and even though you'll whine and complain about it when you see him that evening, all you can do is smile, too.

JustJK: Looks like we're having a wholesome family trip to Dionysus tonight.

You: Mummy and Daddy reunited at last <33 Perry will be so happy.

JustJK: It's okay, you don't have to lie.

JustJK: I know you're talking about yourself, not Perry.

Jungkook doesn't send the message where he tells you not to call him Daddy. Knows you'll read into it; tease him about it. It's not like he's got a thing for it, or anything, he just... maybe wouldn't be opposed to it, and so he'd rather not be called it when he's having casual conversations with you. Wouldn't wanna get flustered. 

Part of you already knows this. Is precisely why you'd said it. It's not really your style, not the kind of thing that gets you going.

But it is also exactly why you choose to end your next message with, 'See you tonight, Daddy x'.

You're laughing as you send it.

And as he receives it, Jungkook groans. Buries his head into his pillow. Crumples Perry a little in the process. Whines. 

"Don't fuck this up, Jungkook."

minors dni | wattpad | series masterlist |

[cannedheet]

yyyyYIPPEEEEEEE!!; ANTONIO HEADCANONS BITCH!!! I LOVE THIS MOTHERFUCKER!!!!! NEW AND IMPROVED WITH SO MANY WORDS

also i am very sorry for the wait. my apologies yall

(below cut)

- Tony had a habit of biting his nails for a while. He mostly did this when frustrated or nervous, so it wasn't often, but still.

- he won't wear sunglasses even if the sun is blasting straight into his eyes, it's a ego thing 😔

- I already mentioned he knows how to use a crossbow and is very good at doing so, but our boy can use a regular bow too!

- his momma is a barber!! That means he gets free haircuts :-)

- he generally doesn't like walking/running in snow. Dude just doesn't like snow in general

- most of his family is in Texas, more specifically the costal parts of Texas! he doesn't know how he ended up in the shitfuckplace he's in now, though

- he was in the orchestra of his middle school for a bit, cello playing dumbass. He can still remember the notes to certain songs because there was like, nothing else to do but practice his instrument

- speaking of driving, when stopped at a red light, he drums his fingers against the wheel.

- The part of the town he lived in as a kid got power outages in the spring frequently, so he can make do with the dark.

- Hydrated Homie!!! Water Warlord, even. (my point is this bitch drinks water like he should be doing btw. if you even care)

- poor little meow meow but. but like a little to the left. i can't believe im using the term 'poor little meow meow' unironically

- roach hater and for a good reason

- I wouldn't say he's Tejano (a Texan person with Mexican decent), but that's kinda what he is in my mind. my fucked up little brain

- Tony had a hamster once, and only once. its name was Pequeño and it died of a fucking heart attack (tony was like ten when this happened so. pretty traumatic. it's buried in a cookie tin in his mom's backyard)

- after that he refused to get a pet for like, five years.

- oh right tony also saw a small dog get devoured by a coyote so. yeah thats uh

- tony listens to billy idol!!

ok goobers. more on the way soon goobers

[azaka3507]

Reynie is in Mr. Curtain's custody AU!! (i have no idea what to name this AU suggestions would be very nice)

so basically, Reynie keeps dreaming about a cat which back then looked like Seymore (the orphanage cat and who will soon become Cheesecake/more on that) when he was in the Orphanage to Institute. When during the time Milligan gets captured and Mr. Benedict sends them the "Laughter is the best medicine", Reynie snaps at Constance for, well, being Constance. After that, Reynie decides to go out because he didn't wanna be in the same room as Sticky, seeing him cry, it would probably worsen things for Sticky and Constance. Sticky warns him but Reynie's like 'I can talk myself out of trouble'. S.Q. catches Reynie and with the spies roaming around, S.Q. suspects Reynie of being one of them. No matter how Reynie explains it to S.Q., S.Q.'s loyalty was still with Mr. Curtain. He brought Reynie to his office and there Mr. Curtain made a deal. He would only let his friends go if Reynie helped him with the Whisperer, for his friend's freedom, Reynie would be in the custody of Mr. Curtain to avoid any temptation from Mr. Benedict, which made it very clear to Reynie, he was being used as a shield. And to make up for his imprisonment, Reynie could make a wish, as long as it didn't involve him being removed from Mr. Curtain's responsibility. His wish was to be with Miss Perumal or rather let Miss Perumal be with Reynie. Mr. Curtain considered this, but was merciful. picture 1: Reynie trying to focus and make a thing that will destroy the Whisperer Cheesecake who needs pats But, no matter the circumstances, Cheesecake ALWAYS wins. picture 2: so I think I need to explain this one Basically, the doors are like universes (Mysterious Benedict Society and the Society-Verse), leading him to different times (thus the clocks) in either the same universe or a different one. The doors and clocks are connected, so let's say you change the clock's time, the door WILL change. The day, months to year is controllable by Cheesecake, but chooses not to, as said by her "will leave to CAT-astrophic events" (yeah, pun overused but it's a talking cat, come on) but it's Reynie's dream so not like it's gonna matterrrrr... some notes that i think will find some amusing: Reynie has long hair because he refuses to go to the barber shop with his "bodyguards" Sometimes, if Mr. Curtain has an interview, Reynie would wait for him in the lobby and if he was "lucky" enough (unlucky, in Reynie's words) the interviewer would interview him. Cheesecake would sit on Reynie's books as a way for him to get sleep. yeah im gonna make more idk why but it makes me happy for some reason I just realized losing it is spelled with one o im gonna cry

[redraven393]

Catching Up with Phil's QSMP VOD

3rd July

LETS GOOO

Oh Chat makin Cookies?- HI PHIL!-E-eppy Phil

Oh maybe to Vidcon,- I mean French is in fire rn.

Ok QSMP TIME

YEAH-yo wtf??? The qusest today?

Ah Super Hero theme today eh?-ah it cant fly now eh?

A GIANT SQUID??- nah fam they are not doin that- a leo Themed?-stream o plaine

OH shit Hi Chayanne- YEAH FUQ THE MISSION

YEAH DÉCOR TIME- concrete?- OH YEAH YELLOW AND ORANGE THEME

Safety first- oh wait its broken?-oh it did?-ugh got bad felling about it

DON’T JINX IT CHAYANNE

?

Yeah its fixed-hopefully

LET HIM COOK-omg god look at that bag

Rare food?- oh shit the end fruit!!-Bone Soup

YEH ADVENTURE-wait why is fit with Dapper?

Hi Dapper- KIDS PLS-KIDS WHY??

Lol the poison Spider- Phil pls- I mean BBH is expensive- OMG BBH DON’T HAVE THAT

Lol dragon magic- OMG THAT’S HOW THE GOT EM???-that’s bs Phil

Oh hi Tubbo

RIGBY 2.0 LETS GOO- a whale?- oh its Dapper

Kitties! :D- oh? The Cat that survived the Big blow ystrday r8??- OH???

Oh shit fit omg- DIAMOND NOT FAKE THIS TIME LETS GOOO

Oh yeah 4th of Jully-YAH FUQ THE MONARCHY

Omg the Island is Fukin with them

Shinny!-Lol fake- SPIDERSS-omg the fancy Twins –

PHIL DON’T MOCK US THAT WAY

Yeah mission are BS rn-oh tempting the gods are we?- lol summoning Cucurucho phil ur son right there

Lol dapper-Lol Chayanne

  OH LOOP HOLE- BECAUSE ITS LEO’S THEMED TODAY FIT.

RAMON NO

Ah yes the Parents Gossip time- Yeah VID CON!-

PFft- FIT PLS- o mg

KIDS OMG PLS NO

Welp they done I guess-Rare fruit time!- 1 done and many bs along the way to go

Ohh cool sword- HOLY SHIT –

Yeah that would be Crazy~-I MEAN-

 OH THAT WAY

WHAT??!!OMG- Phil and Fit  have so many Illegal shit omg

Wat Shulqur?- OMG THEY USE NETHERATE

Lol- YEAH NEW MISSIONS- lol it crashed- Black Mail POG

Omg its still there- break the ruleee

Of course u did phil

Opp there goes Ramon and Chayanne-  boys wil be boys- they all lost it- RAMON NO

YEAHH  CHURCH VANDALATIONS

Phil is so Scared to be left with others egg

Hi Dapper- WTH? Where do you get that thing??- holly shit?- yeah 2009-2013 Vidio game rumours are crazy

Lol Chayanne is clearly alt tabbing

KIDS PLS

Guys pls it’s a place of holly matrimony – what is that?

NO more Marriges- lol

Time to pay I guess- oh god they did miss a few

Lol Chayanne- Yeah Dapper join in!

Lol yeah cmone chayanne why so stiff?- good lord Chayanne is living that admin life rn

Oh kitty- CAT CAT- catcucurucho- holy the cat is immortal

Kil the cat Chayanne- CIA CAT

Oh god Philza and Fit is just a menace

Oh? Chayanne u invited someone?- Dapper pls

OPP WE GOT EM BOIS!- Walter Bob??-Come on dude we just wanna talk

Omg fit pls- YEAH if BBH cant do it then no one can do it

Bad hair btw- oh yeah that ankle thingy-opp rainbow

Best bob

Omg Chayanne is Alt tab- he’s in emergency meeting

Ah! They’ve gone to Ramon’s Barber shop nice

Still waiting- Okk at least we get reconsiderations- Waltuh

Thank yu for yur service WALTUH

It wont break the emergences- break the holly mellon

YEAH CREATIVE

Yeah they all alt tabbing- “in my scientific reason-

Wat if he Forgo-opp wher did they go?

Do you get paid bob?- is it good pay

Lol Hot tub stream- YEAH NEW MISSION

Thanks Bob!- thanks KIDS- ah yes a loop hole

WAT??- new moshrom island

BOAT TIMEEEE-WTF?? A Lost TENTICALE???? IN THE RIGHT AMOUNTS???

Omg the kids was fightin for their life for that thing

Omg- Yey island- ahh brings back memories

Lol Sussy baka Phil- Oh they found one- oh not that one

BOAT TIME- OMG CHARLIE’S Corpse

Oh? An Illegal Villager Farm- BY AYEPIERR?!

Where are the going?

HOLLY SHIT????

Omg dapper pls- HOT NEWBLACK MAIL LETS GOOO- good god this place is confusing

 Oh the found it YEY

Oh no-FIT PLS-Trauma in coming

Fit is a charmer-oh Hey Baghera

Omg that thing is ugly

FIT PLS

Opp Bye Fit bye Ramon

Im really dozing off finishing this Drawings

Hi BBH- oh wait Crimson Forest?

CAT- THE CIA CAT

Yeah give Bad the scoop

Yeah its weird-welp time to chill I guess- oh shiny Fish- NOO it died rip

Still waiting

Weird bunny is so hard to find ugh

Wat is happening with Baghera rn?

Rescue mission?- Yeah get the kids to safety first- opp crashing

Server Close??- are we chill today?- oh hey Tommy

Yeah we back- opp cant see Dapper- uhh not sure coming with them is a good idea kids

Oh noo-welp guess we alone now-shit trauma~-

Yeah Rabbit sound fine-opp BBH? Ah so he did needs help-oh shit where is Dapper?

Dapper pls buddy don’t just jump where is danger kid- wait? Dapper isn’t there?-

oh there is Pomme too?- we cant see her-okk bye

ok following you king- yeah the train is soo awesome

opp guess we still searching

Cucurucho??-yey bunny- is the bunny normal?

YEAH FLIP THE OFF THE TARANTULA- ohno you lost it?

Yeah safety first kiddo

Etoiles???- u okay sir???

Yeah Do your Magic King- oh shit it attacks!- oh no king

Thanks, Dapper-oh shit that wikked

Oh shit- fuq off!- yu won’t fight today?

OH FUCK OFFF YOU BINARY BASTARD

No- Don’t go ANYWHERE near Tallulah you Bastard

Oh they are fuking with us at this point- Fuk

Oh hey baghera

Yeah Those binary bastards are so cruel- they cant attack while election?- opp bye Baghera

Oh hey Dapper wat are yu doing bud?- Omg lol

That’s not how fair trades work Phil

Yeah  the cats are clearly sus like random animals cant just appeared tamed out of no where

And only admins can killem

Opp Red Vine???- of course YOU would find them nice Bad-LOL

OHHH- prteey- okay chayanne stay safe

   Yay it work- BIG LAD-cant put him in a cage- YEAH LET EM ROAM AROUND!

YEAHHHH The Wither Skeleton Head is Cooler

Hah~ it remind us of him

Opp? Oh Yeah no u right Pomme is in way to many danger rn

YEAHHH BED TIME

Aww- yeah you go Rest King-

PHIL no Spoilers for the Spider kid movie

NOOOO

Yeah HOBBIE ANARCHIT SPIDERMAN LETS GOOOO

?? he breaks the rule of frame break?-  omg ANIMATION POG

Hobbie is so cool- yes Brtish Anarchist Spider

Wait who’s Signs is that? OH LEO’S

Kay get some rest Kiddo

Big stress- Lol Chayanne is gone FAST-

YEAH HAPPY 4th of JULY

Go eat yur cake Phil

BYE PHIL

[janeblr]

body hcs that nobody asked for, I’m just articulating them so it’s easier for me to visualize my silly little scenarios

vanya: biiiig guy. 6’5 of well insulated muscle. thick thighssssssss tree trunk arms tits and belly. High cheekbones and the quintessential big ass nose. Used to keep his hair really neat but now it’s kind of shaggy because he’s too cheap to go to a barber and just cuts it himself. Dirty blonde. AUGHmy big man 💗💗💗

al: college quarterback after three years in a frat. Lean, strong, but a little soft around the edges. Ass is 10/10. Tan skin with freckles, still a bit of a baby face. Bottle blonde to fit in with his European family lol. His hair is a little floppy but with some gel it sits nice. He has a poppy tattooed on his inner wrist!

Gil: saddest most pathetic frail little man. Literally looks like he’s dying because he is! Silvery hair is kind of thin and lifeless these days, there’s not much warmth in his cheeks, and he’s constantly covered in bruises from falling or whacking himself into things by accident. Crooked nose from fighting so much. He’s too shaky to shave himself and Erzsi is the only person he trusts to pt a razor to his throat so if she’s not around he gets kind of scruffy. And fine I’ll say it he was in a Camp and has a tattoo to show for it.

Erzsi: r/fit lady… does CrossFit and jogs like 10 miles a day. Killer muscle definition and abs of steel. A bit lacking in the boob department but nobody’s perfect and Gil has always been an ass man so it’s okay. Gorgeous dark brown hair and a prominent nose. Sculpted cheekbones and thinner lips. All in all a pretty angular appearance that’s still distinctly feminine.

Katya: STRONG GIRL! FARM! She’s a lot of woman…. Yes she is tall. Yes she is strong. Yes she is fat. Hourglass figure with body for dayssssss. Her face is pretty round but she’s still got those high cheekbones and rosebud lips. Prominent nose but not like Ivan’s. She has nipple piercings! Her hair is a pretty silvery blonde and she keeps it short so she can just put it back with a bandana.

Mattie: Big guy. Think hockey player in hibernation. Im so tired of people twinkifying Matthew and I will not stand for it!!! Also a bottle blonde but more vigilant about his roots than Alfred. Also tan skin but not as warm as his brother. The wavy hair was a gift from his papa but his curl pattern has been fried by bleach over the last few decades. Blessed and cursed by hockey player ass

Ber: built for endurance! Strong and stocky, like he could chop up firewood like a breeze AND keep you warm at night. Second tallest nord!c. Not glaring but squinting 24/7 because he needs new glasses but he’s too cheap to buy them lol. Stick straight straw blonde hair that he can’t do much with besides brush back and pray it stays. Little rainbow tattoo behind his left ear. Keeps a neat beard in the winter.

Ti: hurhfhfjdkjfkdjfj plump. Like there’s no other way to put it the guy is just fat. Still very strong but you wouldn’t know it looking at him. Built like a moomintroll. Very proud of how he looks except that he’s got a round face and can’t grow a beard which makes him look like less of a threat like no motherfucker I’ll kill you!! Pretty blonde hair that can do this nice swoopy thing to stay out of his face. Tits >>>

Mads: triangle man!!! Broad shoulders, defined muscle, taper down into a small waist. Strong arms and legs. Freckles aaaaall over that really pop out when he gets some sun. Strawberry blonde hair that sticks straight up so he’s learned to embrace it. Nose is crooked from being punched in the face a few too many times. Sharp defined jaw so he doesn’t like to hide it with facial hair.

Lu: *deep breath* CHUBBY LUKAS SUPREMACY!!! Stop Kate Mossifying my boy he takes Thorazine and it made him fat. He’s on the indoorsy side so although he does exercise some he’s not as muscular as Mads, Ber, or Ti. Platinum blonde hair he straightens and pins back because otherwise the waves are just too much. He would have defined cheekbones and jaw if his face wasn’t chubby lol. Thin lips and a thin, sharp nose.

Eirí: scrawny lil kid. The shortest nord!c. Not much substance to him at all so he dresses in somewhat baggy clothes to make him look bigger. Silvery blonde hair that he straightens like his brother. Occasional issues with acne and miserable volcanic pimples so he’s got some ice pick scarring. Same sharp nose and thin lips as his brother.

Feliks: Skinny queen, fairly toned but generally model-type thin. Soft blonde hair around his shoulders. Prominent nose and thin lips. Scarred up a lot over the last millennia.

Vi: Also scrawny, but you can tell that he used to be strong.

Sorry ladies the klonopin is hitting hard I can’t finish the post

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

Day of Anger (1967) is still a tragedy after the credits stop bc there are LITERALLY no good options for Scott Mary. look. a movie with an ambiguous ending is a good thing, the movie ends there bc it's done telling its story at that point, and i think it's a good stopping point. however, im not going to shut up about it bc we so rarely get a spaghetti western that is an overt tragedy with a protagonist with a real character arc

i cannot imagine he'd stay in Clifton, even if the brothel madam Vivian Skill asks him to? he owes her so much. twenty years of being one of three people in Clifton who looked out for him, and she and the girls nursed him back to health after he got shot. it is fascinating that this is such a clean polished town, but it still has a brothel.

what does he do with Talby's saloon, the 45? burning it down would be such a lovely fuck-you to the town, unless he sells it to Vivian? i CANNOT imagine the judge (who survives) would let Scott get away with claiming the saloon without a real will, and i can't imagine Talby actually leaving Scott anything OR having a will.

so what the fuck is even an option for Scott? these are the options for Type of Guy in Clifton and they are all ill-fitting:

indigent, like Blind Bill and Murph

sheriff/deputy (both Nigel and Murph try to enact a specific and personally directed version of justice, and die. the deputies also try to kill him)

real piece of work gunslinger like Talby/Talby's men, or Wild Jack/Wild Jack's men, or Owen White the hired gun

regular townsperson (also pieces of work)

property owner/honorable professional like the judge and banker (submit him to twenty years of abuse, the rancher outside Clifton tries to kill him and Talby with a posse, the judge/banker coalition try to use him as a pawn and shuffle him off safely into a political marriage to the judge's daughter, and when that doesn't take they try to kill him)

storekeeper (the saloonkeeper and barber also submit him to twenty years of abuse, the general store clerk nearly kills him)

doctor (the most neutral townsperson, still has his hands tied within the power structure of Clifton, really isn't thrilled about treating him or Talby, i think there's a reading to be made that the doctor deliberately cut the muscle in his arm or at least told him he did)

we're ignoring the stagecoach/mail coach bc they're outside the power structure of the town, and the citizens of Bowie who he simply doesn't ever interact with.

interestingly, the only business owners who don't try to kill him are Vivian Skill the brothel madam and the unnamed tequila distiller in Bowie.

being a regular guy isn't even a possibility for Scott (at least not in Clifton). he made a name for himself as Talby's right hand, and even though he does throw the pistol away at the end, Talby formed him in his own image and kind of ruined him for any other job. killing Talby is going to haunt him forever, both by tales of his skill and speed in killing such a famous gunslinger and like, the CPTSD.

Scott is a victim of a nasty cycle of betrayal/greed and abuse/capitalism perpetuated by the town of Clifton AND Talby/Talby's rules of being a gunslinger, and these cycles and rules are their downfall as Scott shouts Talby's rules out while gunning down Talby's men. this is not a subtle movie.

even if you knock off the five richest guys in town, that doesn't break the cycle bc almost everyone in Clifton is still such a goddamn piece of work. and even though Scott throws away the gun at the end, i don't know if he can break that cycle for himself or the town either. nothing changes except for Scott, who now in theory has the backbone/freedom to go "fuck you", steal a horse, and leave for good.

does Scott go off and start a saloon/brothel/distillery somewhere that is not Clifton? what does this man become??? again, i think the fact that there are no good options for him is part of the tragedy-- losing his two father figures and his hometown in the span of like half an hour is brutal.

rotating this movie in my brain forever.