#im sorry this is GIBBERISH im losing my mind

[alilaro]

okay listen but can you imagine witch!Aro like losing Didyme, the only other person with powers like himself, then going through the Salem trials of burnings, drownings, and brick bitings, etc and finding "witch twins" Jane and Alec? Twins just like himself and Didyme.

Then even after he saves them from a burning pyre, outside of all the human superstition and religious prosecution, vampires all over the world, his own kind, after his thousands of years, and the twins centuries, being subjected to the same thing? As their father figure, being so helpless to stop rumors spreading like wildfire, and of course back at himself.

.....things to ponder over

[weallpartyatybcpatricksfuneral]

anyone else think it's insane that folie a deux -- which literally means "the shared delusions of two"-- opens with "I'm coming apart at the seams/Pitching myself for leads in other people's dreams"

[daenysx]

lovely Hii

Can i get poly!marauders x fem reader where maybe she has been exhausted and busy lately and maybe they’re giving her some space cause they dont know if she wants affection now but she sees them all lovey dovey with eachother all the time and she feels sad cause she wants to join but feels too shy to ask so she tries to discreetly slip back and one of them notices?

Im sorry if that is a bunch of gibberish but i have been awake for over a day now and my brain is fried (i hate uni)

thank you for requesting, i hope you enjoy <333

(comments are always appreciated and i literally need to see what you think to keep writing, angels. of course i can't force you to send me anything but it would be amazing if you take two seconds to tell me what you think. it's not always easy to keep doing something without getting any feedback about it ♡)

poly!marauders x fem!reader

the relationship between james and remus has always been somewhat chaotic.

they have huge chemistry, maybe something like opposites attract situation. remus is calm when james is bubbling with excitement, remus loves with silent kisses when james loses his breath as he makes love, remus likes rationality when james swims deep in his emotions.

you watch them flirt as they sit on the couch. you're at the table across them in the living room, staring at your laptop screen with exhausted eyes. it probably would be easier to complete what you've been writing if you could have more energy, but sadly you sit all tense and cold at your place. your arms get the chills, you avoid looking at your lovers.

if you leave the table to join them, james and remus would welcome you with open arms. the mere thought of james's lips against your forehead and remus's fingers rubbing your neck makes you want to cry loudly. it's just torturing yourself, but you don't think you're strong enough to ask for love. you need to get this done. you need to think about the classes you gotta pass.

james kisses a line on his boyfriend's cheek, so warm, remus practically loses his mind. "where's sirius?" james asks, remembering sirius leave for the kitchen minutes ago. "is he burning up our kitchen, do you think?"

"we would've notice."

"no, we wouldn't." james whispers. "you're too damn distracting."

remus melts. autumn always brings starvation for touch and loving, two things james is the best at giving. he looks at your way briefly, your droopy eyes worry him.

"she seems so tired." remus says, his lips kiss james's knuckles mindlessly. "should we say something to make her give a break?"

"she said the essay has a deadline, moons." james answers. "i mean, she clearly needs a break, but i'm not sure if we should interrupt her."

it's hard to decide because you get nervous with breaks sometimes. you complain about not controlling the time good enough when you're spending your free minutes with them and being unable to finish stuff at time. you say most of this teasingly, but the boys know there's always some truth in it.

sirius walks into the room with a big mug in his hands. he carries it carefully to your table. james and remus watch the scene, their hands together and legs tangled.

"here it is." sirius puts the mug on the table. "a perfect cup of hot chocolate for my gorgeous girl."

you look at him with the widest eyes. you can't cry. fuck, he's so sweet. he smiles, he looks so handsome with his old t-shirt and messed up hair. you close your laptop, curve your lips to stop yourself from crying.

"this is so nice, siri." you say to him, unshed tears clog your throat. "thank you."

"um- can i get a kiss? i spend fifteen minutes for this."

you nod with a smile, he leans down for you. you only mean to kiss his cheek, but he smells so good and he's so kind- your hand shakes as it touches his shoulder. it doesn't take sirius long to understand what's going on. he manages to hug you before you start crying.

"oh, baby, no-" he says with a sad voice. he attempts to make a joke. "you can't cry for hot chocolate- i'm sure it doesn't even taste that good."

james and remus sit straight with worry. "dove?" remus leaves the couch. "what's wrong?"

"are you okay?"

you nod, they probably won't believe it. you hold onto sirius, he lifts you up from the chair. it's a proper hug now, your skin tingles with the sensation. it feels so good to be touched.

"it's okay." sirius kisses your head. "you're just overwhelmed. you're okay."

you keep your head on sirius's chest. he's warm and his arms are strong, he supports your body to help you stay on your feet. remus brings his hand on your waist, his thumb gently draws a circle.

"can we go to bed?" you ask. separating yourself from sirius is hard, but it's harder to stay vertical. james extends a hand to you, you hold it greedily. they are all thinking the same thing, you'll calm down but you need to feel safe enough with your surroundings to do that. even though they'd like to keep you stuck in their arms, this might not be the best idea.

the bed is cold. it will pass in a few minutes. remus takes you under the blanket, james adjusts the pillows. sirius has a wrinkle between his eyebrows, he gets behind you on bed and wraps his arm around your shoulder. you sniffle softly, suddenly embarrassed by all the attention.

"sorry." you offer, your voice sounds sincerely sorry. "i don't know what came over me."

"i think we should be sorry." remus says. "jamie and i were talking about whether we should tell you to take a break but- we didn't wanna distract you. we should've distract you."

"it's not your fault that i can't manage my time doing stuff i've been doing for years." you say, weakly. "i'm just sick of being tired. i guess i- missed you."

sirius gives you a generous kiss on the side of your head. "you can jump on us any time you want, you know that, gorgeous."

"i think my head doesn't work like that when i'm exhausted."

"it doesn't have to." james says. his voice is like honey. "you don't have to ask for anything. we should be giving you everything before you even have to ask."

"he's right." remus agrees. "it should be like this for all of us, i think."

you nod. your eyes have a grateful look in them, they are undeniably tired, but still pretty to your boys. the bed is warmer. you force yourself to stop counting down the minutes for deadlines. james puts his head on your chest, hugs you as your back touches the bed, his arms are tight around you like you'll run away.

it's good to be touched. it's amazing to have contact with their hands, safe and secure, you can do anything you want if you always feel like this. remus kisses your fingers. his eyes are gentle. they are all so gentle, kind with you, you feel like you'll never break as long as you have them.

sirius's kisses help you fall asleep at the end. he's always bold with his affections, this time he manages to be softer with his lips and more tender with his hands. long fingers in your hair, chapped lips on your skin. he whispers how much he adores you, the tone of his voice hits your mind so well. you are okay. you think you'll be okay, and that's a nice beginning to get things done.

[markiemelon]

hiiiii~~ can i request a scenario where nerd!mark and athlete!reader are on a study date and mark finds reader so cute when they don't understand the material? also bonus points if the reader is shy and doesn't want to ask for help cus they're embarrassed

Thank you!! ur writings make me so happy

focus

genre fluff ﹋֪֢ ♡︩ · no warnings!

pairings nerd!mark x athlete!reader

4:18pm — ♡

“yn,” your math teacher addressed you, “im worried that your training is interfering with your studies.”

that wasn’t the first time you’d heard that, and yet, you still couldn’t think of a good excuse to tell. “look, yn, i’ve made it easier for you by arranging some study sessions with a classmate of yours.”

you actually felt kinda relieved to hear that. surely, some extra studying couldn’t hurt.

“in fact,” he continued, “he’s right here.” he gestured to a familiar boy walking into the room.

it was mark. you knew mark, but you never crossed paths much, considering how different your priorities were…you were all about training, and mark was all about studying…

“so i have to spend the rest of my afternoon with this nerd?” you accidentally said aloud.

“now, yn, we still have to be professional during after-school hours.” your teacher demanded.

mark just chuckled and smiled at you. his round glasses and ruffled hair added a gentlemanly charm to him that made you swoon a little.

“i’ll be off now, but feel free to stay in the classroom.” your teacher said, shuffling together some lose papers. “mark, just lock up the door as usual, i trust you as our class president.”

you widened your eyes. “he’s class president?”

“you didn’t know?” mark raised an eyebrow.

“i—uhh”

“i’ll leave you guys to it then.” your teacher nodded before he exited the room.

you approached mark. “if it makes you feel any better, i didn’t even know our vice principal until last week… so um, don’t take it personally.”

with that pathetic attempt at explaining yourself, mark sensed you were nervous. he walked up to you, his arms crossed and head nodding ever so slightly. “alright.” he said with a grin. “i won’t.” he looked at you for a second longer before pulling a chair out from the desk. he insisted that you sit, and he sat beside you.

and so the studying began… you handed mark a crumpled up page from the deepest, darkest depths of your backpack, and he looked confused “do you… want me to throw this away for you?”

“no!” you snatched it back. “that’s my calculus homework!”

“oh shoot!” he couldn’t hold in his cackle. “I’m sorry— yn im sorry.” he said it with the biggest smile on his face, weak from the laughter.

“whatever. just tell me how to solve this. or save us both some time and just tell me the answers.” you slumped in your chair.

he scanned the page briefly. “yeah, so it’s simple, really..” mark inched the graph paper closer to your side of the table.

he pointed at some numbers and rambled, of course, you couldn’t keep up. so you did the next best thing, which was letting your mind drift off to somewhere else..

“actually, he’s kinda cute..” you admitted to yourself while observing his side profile.

focus.

“it must be the glasses. he looks good with glasses.” now you were noticing things you hadn’t payed any attention to before.

focus.

“why is he so close to me…” your heart skipped a beat at the realization.

suddenly, mark’s voice became clear at the mention of your name.

“yn… focus” he cooed, not even looking up from the paper. he must have felt you staring, but oddly, you didn’t look away from him.

mark stopped his writing, but he kept his pen to the paper, holding it still as he turned to face you.

almost immediately, your confident demeanor crumbled, and now, head lowered, you depended on mark’s answer to break the silence.

“solve this one. it’s what i just showed you.” he rolled his pen to you.

“oh. okay.” you hesitantly took hold of the pen, and did your best to pretend like you understood, but mark obviously wasn’t buying it. after writing some gibberish, you gave up.

“um, mark?”

“yeah?”

“im a little embarrassed to ask… but.. can you explain it again?”

he didn’t look surprised. he looked at you endearingly. “as expected..” he chuckled, weighing his head side to side to stretch out his neck. his gaze shifted to the clock on the wall behind you. “you know, we should probably head out now.”

“already?” you looked back to see the time for yourself. he didn’t say anything for a second, he just nodded and flashed a gentle smile. “you get too distracted.” he nudged your shoulder. your cheeks burned a little when he did that. “well you’re too distracting.” you nudged him back.

mark grabbed his shoulder where you touched as if he were injured by your strength. “i’m so distracting yet you couldn’t focus on a single thing i said?” he teased you. you didn’t have a witty comeback, so you just stayed silent and stuffed some things wherever they could fit in your bag.

at that point, it was clear to both of you that the next few study sessions you had lined up, would be far more exciting…

a couple weeks of studying with mark went by, and the flirting made its way into your classes. he was getting bolder in his advances. it started with some subtle compliments but now he’s been giving you these corny winks from a across the room, and he makes it really obvious what he’s doing.

once mark started sitting next to you, hell broke loose. one time, the teacher asked the class to solve something, and you miraculously managed to figure it out before mark did. it still backfired tremendously…

“oh my gosh, i got it!” you whispered to mark. “it’s 29!”

he smiled at you for a second, before raising his hand, while simultaneously blurting out, “29! it’s 29!”

your teacher looked pleased. “that was quick, mark. as always, you never disappoint me with your calculating abilities.”

mark threw is head back laughing as quietly as he could, and you kicked his leg underneath the table.. as hard as you could.

later, you would find yourself sitting with mark, side by side, staring down at your math textbook.

“okay, so tell me, what's the answer to number 4?" mark questioned you.

you didn’t even try to hide the fact that you had no idea what was going on. “i don’t know it.”

mark paused and laughed out of disbelief. “yn, it’s a good thing you wanna be an athlete and not a mathematician.”

what he said was true, but it annoyed you regardless, so you snapped back.

“and it’s a good thing you’re cute, ‘cause that’s the only reason i haven’t killed you yet.”

“psh,” he laughed in an exhale. “are you into me or something?” he kept his eyes fixed on the paper in front of him.

you giggled, “i think that’s the first time i’ve actually known the answer to a question you’ve asked me.” you smirked to yourself, feeling proud of your smooth talking.

when he didn’t respond, you continued.

“yknow.. mark, for being top of the class, i thought you’d have a bit more common sense.”

“what’s that supposed to mean?” he didn’t even bother looking at you.

“yes, mark, i’m into you.”

he still avoided looking your way, but he couldn’t hold back his smile. you stayed staring at your cute math tutor, and you could tell it was making him shy. “yn. focus.” he tapped his pencil on the table.

you tried to pout. “but the math isn’t cute...”

he tapped his pencil more aggressively.

you didn’t try to fight back. you started jotting some things down desperately trying to figure out the equation, until he tapped his pencil again. “yn. i need you to focus.”

annoyed, you jerked your head to face him. “i am focused. im literally doing the math-” your eyes traced his features.

“no, i mean on this.”

“on what?”

he smiled and tapped his pencil to his cheek.

“i need you to focus on me.”

this ended up being longer than intended... but thank you thank you so much for requesting, im so happy to hear that you like my writingggggggggff!!!!! also sorry this took so long, im kinda backed up on requests LOL.

[kyoosoup]

once again posting to say I hate working in food service particularly when I'm serving customers. because it is very difficult for me, as a neurodivergent person, to keep up with it and NOT beat myself up about it afterwards

If customers stray off my scripted dialogue, it is hard for me to get back on track or make small talk. I will end up sputtering gibberish in an attempt to think of what to say, or I'll say a bunch of things at once to the point where they can't understand me, or I'll mumble and try to get away, or I'll repeat back what they say to me even if it's weird, or I'll accidentally say maybe too much information AGHHH

like today a lady asked me which of two food items I preferred, and instead of being like "oh this one" I was like oh tough choice cause i actually can't eat that one because I'm avocado intolerant because it makes my stomach hurt a lot" and I said that and immediately was like oh gosh why did I say that. THIS IS WHY I CANT GO OFF SCRIPT.

also today we had a regular who was asking about my brother who normally serves on Saturdays but he wasn't here today. and the regulars first language isn't English so he was like "he off today?" And out of instinct I just repeated back "yeah he off today" 😭 IM SORRY DAWG I CANT HAVE CONVERSATIONS

Another regular was ordering a drink and I was like "oh just regular is fine?" And she was like "what do you mean?" And I just stood there like ermmmmm uhhhh uhhhh cause in my mind I was thinking about how she sometimes got it as a latte instead of a cappuccino but I didn't know how to explain that in the moment so I just stood there :/

Not to mention I am very forgetful. I don't want to be. I try so hard to remember everything. But I cannot help it. I will forget customers that are right in front of me. I will forget to bring something that someone asked for. And so far no one's been mad or I'll remember eventually and speedrun. But still. I feel bad I can't keep track of so many things at once

That's part of why I walk so fast in service, because if I don't I might forget. I also try not to sit down or take breaks too much cause I'll lose my rhythm. If someone asks for something I do it IMMEDIATELY so I don't forget.

Switching tasks is really hard for me and I may yap about this in extent later because I've noticed it increasingly more recently, in work , in school when I was in school, and in life in general.

There's other things that make it difficult for me , but ugh man I didn't feel very good about my service today. I think I was fine probably but I'm too in my head sigh

We'll get em next time

[emodennis]

im not in the clearest headspace so this will be fuzzy, but basically i love fat mac because i am also fat and have severe body dysmorphia, and being able to laugh at my problems helps a lot. much in the same way im mentally disabled and seeing the gang make fun of charlie for his own makes me laugh, it makes me happy in a weird way to know that the gang would treat me just as poorly as theyd treat anyone else. i think if the gang Werent super mean to mac for being fat, then that would be out of character for them, especially dennis and dee. but i would totally love to hear your perspective on it!!!! sorry if this sounded like gibberish aksjsjdjd

this makes total sense, dw. everyone deals with their problems differently, and i think this show can be especially cathartic/comforting for people for different reasons. and i don't want it to seem like i'm trying to take that away from anyone.

i agree that the gang not being mean to mac for being fat would be out of character, which is why i wish that plotline was just not in the show.

but basically, i have three major issues with fat mac: the reason behind him, his characterization, and the way the gang treats him/the way that the show expects the audience to think about him.

so we all know that rob wanted to satirize the fact that often characters on TV shows look better as they get older because the actors get richer and have the means to maintain/improve their appearance. so he wanted his character to look worse, aka fat. already stigmatizing from the outset.

additionally, we see mac get stupider, lazier, and hungrier in season 7, moreso than in any other season (although he does get stupider in later seasons due to flanderization. but the change from seasons 5/6 to 7 was drastic). i don't have all the examples for this off the top of my head- i was going to gather those for a more thought-out post, but i'm sure some come to mind. they basically turn him into a fat stereotype for a season, and then subdue those traits immediately once he loses the weight in season 8. and every time he's shown wanting/eating food, it's in a way where we're meant to laugh at the spectacle of a fat person being obsessed with eating. and i know that's the intention because of how they utilize the gang as the straight person/people in those scenarios. which brings me to my next point.

i tend to compare/contrast the fat jokes to the way they make fun of mac for his gay behavior- the gay jokes are funny because they’re making fun of him for not realizing that what he’s saying/doing is gay. it doesn’t come across like his being gay is a bad thing, because we know that the characters accept him for it. the fat jokes are meant to be in a similar format- they’re making fun of mac for not realizing he’s fat. the joke is supposed to be about his delusion. but the difference is that they hate his being fat. the gang plays the voice of reason in those scenarios, the audience surrogate. they’re supposed to reflect what we’re all thinking: mac is fat and he needs to realize he’s fat and lose the weight because it’s disgusting.

also from the podcast, we know that rcg have very mainstream (aka fatphobic) views of health, which are especially visible in the who's more healthier episodes. i'm not going to get into the science of why fat does not equal unhealthy, but a quick google search should explain why correlation does not equal causation (and even if a fat person is unhealthy, there's the whole "why should we harass/discriminate against people for being unhealthy" part too but that's another thing). anyway, it's pretty clear that rcg view being fat as a bad thing and it shows up in their writing.

i know this show perpetuates all sorts of bigotry, and fatphobia is just one thing on a long list. but i have a neurodivergent level of fixation on fighting fatphobia, so that's one of the battles i choose.

i accept (and on good days, love) myself for being fat. i don't find catharsis in fat jokes. they just piss me off and make me sad for all the fat people who are going to have to hear yet another message about why their bodies are bad.

(btw, most of this was just a general rant/explanation and not a direct response to your message. i wish you the best on your acceptance journey and i'm glad that fat mac helps you through it.)

[swqns]

“ I swear it to you, I will never forget how you loved me. “

synopsis ;;

                    You think back on a distant memory of Kazuha finding you wounded at the Wangshuu Inn. He hadn’t been there to protect you from such an injury, but you two still looked back on it fondly. Now, you reminisce alone, praying to any god out there that Kazuha doesn’t have to see your downfall.

-- kazuha x gn reader

-- cw ;; blood , death , injury.

-- note ;; enjoy <3 do let me know which part of this hurt the worst in my inbox, im curious

Being a traveler, you’ve had your fair share of injuries. some worse than others. some … you weren’t quite sure how you healed from them.

Some injuries were sourced from carelessness, ignorance, or pride. you did take more care to not get injured after falling in love with kazuha, though. he means the world to you, you can’t imagine leaving him alone in it. you knew he had his worries about you, and as much as he wishes he could follow you into battle .. sometimes you just traveled where he could not follow. he was a wanted man, after all. but you always returned home. always on time, or earlier. you were never late so .. why were you late?

Kazuha paced back and forth, nibbling at his fingernails in his worry. you were supposed to be home from this commission hours ago .. where had you gone?

His pacing is interrupted by a deckhand knocking on the door of your shared quarters, the place you two had been calling home for a while.

“Kazuha, you have a letter. it’s important.“

He doesn’t say anything other than a quiet thanks as he unfolds the delicate paper, reading the words scribbled down. you can almost see the moment his spine stiffens and his blood feels like ice in his veins. kazuha is out of that door and jumping off the boat in a second, using his anemo vision to aid him in his sprint towards a certain inn.

He’ll be damned if he cares about getting caught. you have docked in liyue anyway, the chances were slim. all he cared about was reaching you in time.

The letter had been delivered to inform your fellow crew of your condition. you’d taken a hit from the blunt side of a mitachurl’s axe. it broke several bones on impact, but your arm had shielded most of the damage away from your ribs. you’d be extremely lucky if your arm healed back completely, though.

You’d been ushered to one of the upper floors of the Wangshu Inn by several adventurers who had found you on their way home, laying unconscious. your arm was broken, making even the seasoned adventurers wince at the sight of it. verr goldet had convinced the green-haired Adeptus living at the inn to deliver the letter, your condition was critical and your companions and loved ones needed to be notified of your whereabouts. after running the errand, however, he went back to his anti-social tendencies and disappeared against the mortal eye. he had no reason to be physically present with you .. but maybe he could watch over nearby and make sure you were breathing. just for verr goldet’s closure.

You can hear kazuha’s voice pierce the thick fog of your unconsciousness.

“Where are they ?! [ name ], i- i got a letter they were here and hurt, where are they ?!“ he calls, voice hoarse and you can almost hear the way his heart shatters in it. you don’t have the strength to open your eyes, but you can hear his light footsteps approaching the cot you’re resting on as the door opens.

Kazuha falls to his knees beside you, grabbing your unwrapped hand with his and holding it close to him, mumbling incoherent prayers to some god that you’re okay. you peek at him through your eyelashes, moving your hand to pet his hair.

“Kazu, you worry too much,” you speak.

A held breath leaves his body, and you can see his shoulders relax. unshed tears shine against his eyes, a shaky laugh leaving him.

“You worried me sick. what happened ? are you hurt ?”

You laugh. a weak sound leaving your beaten body, your hand once resting on kazuha’s hair moving to your shattered arm. “ … yeah.”

Kazuha’s eyebrows furrow and he stands to get a better view of your other arm. With how heavily it was bandaged, and the makeshift splint peeking through the layers of fabric and gauze, it wasn’t hard to figure out just how bad the injuries were. You had other bandages and bandaids scattered around your body, a few small ones on your face. kazu wordlessly presses soft kisses to each of the wounds on your upper body, scooping you into his arms. he’s mindful of your injury, keeping any and all pressure off of your arm.

..

Oh, how you wished you were in his arms again. the blue sky above you seemed to dull as you laugh. laugh at the gods for cursing you this way. left to bleed out on an expedition in jueyun karst. your previous break had left you with permanent injury in your arm, and though you could move it just fine, the range in which you could was not as good as it used to be. meaning, your entire side was exposed to enemy attack.

You knew how kazuha beat himself up that time. when you first broke your arm, he didn’t leave you alone until you had completely healed. apologies spewed from his mouth for the first few days. he was sorry he wasn’t there to protect you. how long it took him to get to you. sorry for not being the one to find you.

Knowing that, you almost hoped he didn’t find you. it would shatter him more than you just not returning home. it was such a warm place. you and kazuha shared many memories there. you grew closer there.

You let your eyes close, the blood loss making your eyelids feel like lead and your limbs feel like ice. maybe it wasn’t your delirious state that made the sky seem dull, as soft raindrops patter against your face, making your spilled blood travel with the water. does death feel warm, you wonder? as warm as kazuha’s hands around you? what you’d give to feel his arms around you one last time.

You’re too far gone to realize a warmth does embrace you until you’re physically shaken into consciousness. your eyes flutter and reveal a certain ronin dressed in red clothing. tears stream freely down his cheeks, his words nothing more than gibberish to you. you smile to yourself, cursing the gods once more to give the love of your life the pain of watching you die.

The downpour grows heavier, drenching both you and kazuha as it washes away every feeling from your body. with the little strength you have left, you lift a shaky hand and hold kazuha’s face. a smear of your blood is left from where you rub your thumb on his cheek, trying to reassure him with what you have.

“Kazuha, I love you. don’t you ever forget that” you murmur, and one of his own hands goes to cover the one holding his face.

“Don't talk like that. I’m going to save you, I won’t let you die here,” he speaks, but deep down you both know there’s no saving you. the edges of your vision go blurry as you lose the strength to hold your hand up, and kazuha does it for you.

“Swear to me. swear that you won’t forget how much i love you,” you whisper, and you can feel yourself letting your eyes close. if you have any hope of living, you know you need to keep them open. kazuha does too as he ushers you to look at him, to reopen your eyes, to say something. anything.

He can feel his will draining from his limbs as he hugs your dying body close to his. you’re cold, colder than any cryo beast he’s ever fought. colder than the rain falling on your bodies. you’re already gone, he realizes. pulling your body into his lap, he wraps an article of his clothing around you as he leans against a rock. letting the rain soak through his hair and into his clothes, he holds you close to him as your blood seeps into his clothing.

“I swear it.”

[luv-hqs]

them crushing on the opponent’s tall, handsome ace

HI OMG I REALLY ENJOYED WRITING THIS AAA !!! also *scratches head* i learned how to play the guitar but ion know how to barres crying emoji. anyways enough story times, here it is !!! requests are open <3

REQUESTED: yes

Bokuto Koutarou

when bokuto heard rumours of the opposing team’s ace being so fucking handsome,

he didn’t expect you to be so deliciously attractive.

during their warm ups, bokuto couldnt help but glance towards your direction.

he would stare at your defined features and those big biceps, or he would marvel at how tall you were

when you caught this owl-like cutie staring at you, you gave him a wink, causing his cheeks to flare up before muttering incoherent gibberish towards his teammates.

when it was time to play with your team, not only was he mesmerized by your attractive looks, but also, your powerful spikes.

Bokuto however, being the competitive owl that he is, decided to show you that his spikes were as strong and as cool as yours too!!

when you witnessed his powerful spike first hand, your breath was caught in your throat, and just seeing the happy smile on bokuto’s face made you just as flustered as he was.

because of bokuto’s distracted state, your team ended up winning

causing all of your fangirls to swarm your way congratulating you.

meanwhile, bokuto frowned on the sidelines, watching his new crush, getting swayed away by the girls.

just as he was about to leave, he felt a warm hand on his shoulder, making him look towards the person’s direction.

his eyes widened when he saw you giving him a warm smile.

“Uh hey! you’re bokuto-san right?” you asked timidly, earning a nod from the owl like boy.

“Uh, im y/n l/n and i really like you-- i mean your spikes! and.. shit, youre cute can i have your number?”  you mentally face palmed at how dumb you sounded.

Bokuto grinned, nodding excitedly, “sure y/n-kun! ill be waiting for your call!”

Kuroo Tetsuro

Kuroo was so excited when he found out that the volleyball team was going to play against a new powerhouse school.

he was so ready to intimidate the players, just like how he did with hinata

but what he didn’t expect, was for all of them to look so handsome.

especially their #4 player

Kenma noticed kuroo’s love struck gaze towards the tall, handsome ace and nudged the captain’s stomach.

“That’s their ace, y/n l/n. don’t get distracted by him, his spikes are really strong.”

Kuroo whined, “how did you get all that information kenmaa? he’s really my type!”

“he’s a rising star kuroo. he was chosen as one of the reps for U19. focus on blocking his spikes today.” kenma grumbled.

During the match, kuroo really tried to avoid staring at you too often. 

but he was like a moth drawn to your flame. You were undeniably talented, and your spikes were definitely stronger than sakusa’s or ushijima’s

kenma, again grumbled, telling kuroo to focus because your team needed one more point to win, and that if he didnt focus nekoma would surely lose.

he nodded, giving his best; blocking quite a few of your aggressive blocks, which ended up in his finger bleeding

you on the other hand found kuroo, determined and attractive. you couldn’t take your eyes off of him during the entirety of the match, your mind just as distracted as his

despite nekoma catching up by a few points, your team was unstoppable and they ended up losing instead.

you felt guilty deep down inside, because of the disappointed frowns of his teammates and his bleeding finger.

you slowly approached him, making him tense up. “Hello, kuroo-san, im sorry for your finger. are you alright?” you asked worriedly, gently grabbing his bloodied hand, before taking a few bandages out of your bag. 

Kuroo gave you a flirtatious wink instead, making you blush shyly while you continued to bandage kuroo’s finger. 

“I’m fine, now that someone as handsome as you is holding my hand.”

Iwaizumi Hajime

the moment the two of you met wasnt on the court, but on campus.

he saw oikawa clinging onto you as he practically scolded you for going to a different school instead of aoba johsai.

at that time you were facing the other direction, but when Iwaizumi told oikawa to stop harassing strangers,

you turned towards his direction with a thankful smile on your face.

when i tell you iwaizumi was speechless, he was literally SPEECHLESS.

you were so handsome and tall , not to mention those biceps ?!?!

“IWA-CHAN GREAT TIMING! THIS IS Y/N L/N !! HE’S ALSO AN ACE LIKE YOUUU!!”

Iwaizumi couldnt stop thinking about you after that encounter.

when iwa found out that he was playing against your team, he was fueled up, and he was determined to show you that he was a strong player too.

Iwaizumi was absolutely impressed at your killer spikes.

even oikawa seemed to be overwhelmed by the intensity of them.

Your gaze was trained on the seijoh ace the entire time.

you expected him to be distracted, but in the end you were the one being distracted by his amazing talent and looks.

you scowled lifting your shirt to wipe the sweat on your forehead, earning a chorus of screams from your fangirls and a flustered Iwaizumi.

you sent the ace a smirk and the wink, making his face even redder if possible.

Anyways, after the intense match, your team obviously ended up winning.

you decided to approach the handsome wing spiker and ask for his number, however, he beat you to it, when he poked your shoulder.

“l/n-san... you were cool out there...” he mumbled shyly, making you smile at him and ruffle his hair.

“you were really cool out there too iwa-kun.” you complimented, “say you’re really my type, can i get your number?” you asked, with a slight smirk on your face.

iwa nodded with a blush on his face, grabbing a pen before writing his number on your palm. 

[peanut-butter-parkerxx]

plane pillow

where peter planned to play video games with ned through the whole flight but fate decided to take another turn....

*A/N: this isnt related to far from home nor the ending of endgame, just pretend infinity and all the movies after didnt exist since i imagine pete 16 in here. i dont know why 16 i just like that age on him lmao, enjoy reading!*

pairing: peter x reader

status: strangerz (well sort of since they haven't talked to eachother but they're in the same school)

NOT PROOF READ BTW SO SORRY IF THERE ARE ANY MISTAKES

peter's POV

"the flight will be amazing! i heard they'd installed the new game we were talking about" i gushed to ned, excited for the whole flight to be filled with video games.

"im excited" ned stated practically jumping from excitement and i shook my head laughing

"OK CLASS!" Mr Harrington clapped his hands getting our attention "we're boarding the plane in a few minutes so pack your stuff and lets goooo" he pointed at our gate dramatically.

we walked to the gate, scanned our ticket and sat on our assigned seats, ned and i sat on the three seater, he took the window seat by winning a 3 round match of rock, paper, scissors *sighs angrily* and i obvious got the middle, kinda scared of who'll sit beside me though.

we had to wait for a few minutes, since we boarded the flight early. ned and i obviously started playing video games, too entranced by the small glowing screen infront of me i haven't realized a girl.

she hadn't really acknowledged me either because she looked tired, i cursed at the screen for losing the game too quickly and my dumb ass still didnt realize a GIRL, MY AGE, looking PRETTY FUCKING ADORABLE was sitting next to me. oh dear god.

after a couple more games and me being the most idiotic teenager known today for not looking at my right to see her  the flight attendant alerted us that the plane will take off so we the screen will freeze any moment. ned and i decided to sleep, it was very early in the morning and we need to rest if we plan on gaming most of the flight.

i closed my eyes and shifted a bit in my seat, and slept. the plain was moving at the time trying to find the best place to take off. i guess i was really tired that i havent felt someone sleeping on my shoulder.

i was peacefully sleeping still agitated from the uncomfortable seat but i heard a loud noise that frightened the life out of me and due to my spidey senses i sensed a hand on my right, so what did i do? i fucking held the hand. hard, may i add, from the fright.

i opened my eyes quickly and jumped a bit, turning around to see who's the stranger that i held hands with, startled as well. i sighed in relief knowing our plane was safe and it was just about to take off. but then i took a good look on the perso- her, took a good look on her, on her? OH MY GOD ITS A GIRL calm down peter and please dont scare her off. i couldnt stop looking at her and to my luck she was looking at me as well, but none of us spoke

i couldnt help but notice the small part of her y/h/c hair that was shown from her hood looked so shiny and smooth, her eyes were the most perfect shade of y/e/c. the extremely large hoodie looked so comfortable on her which made me think of her wearing one of mine, how big and long it'll look on her body sent butterflies to my stomach. she looked small, and precious so fragile yet she held her body confidently.

the voice of the flight attendant echoed through the speakers which made us both stop our trance of one another. even though the lady's voice wasnt scary it still frightened us. i mean no hate towards miss attendant she called me a cutie and gave me extra blankets

but coz we got startled again we held hands....again looking for the sources of the noise. we visibly relaxed once we realized what it was, looked at eachother and laughed, her laugh was angelic and soft, hands down the best sound ive ever head. she looked rather embarrassed from the encounter but i bet you a thousand dollars i look worse, i could practically feel the blood rush through my cheeks once she realized how long ive stared at her

"i- uhm i-im so sorry for sleeping on your shoulder, and- and holding your hand and stuff" she apologized, it only made me even more baffled by her. how could a voice match with a face so perfectly.

"no no its fine uhh i dont mind *nervous laugh* and for the hand thing i was the one who grabbed yours so i-i should be the one apologizing...im sorry" i rubbed the back of my neck. this is why i dont talk to girls, ever. well mj is an exception since shes like the closest thing i have to a friend other than my best friend obviously.

"i-im y/n, by the way" she lifted her hand properly introducing herself

"peter, peter parker" i shook her hand, it was nice feeling the warmth of her hand again. we probably held hands (for the third time today by the way) longer the we should have but who am i to say i was bothered. i definitely wasnt.

"nice to meet you peter" she smiled shaking our hands one last time then sitting it on her lap. scratch what i said about her gorgeous laugh, hearing her say my name was the best thing ive heard in my 16 year of existence. (her laugh is obviously the second best)

before i could ask anything else, the plane decided to finally take off. i adjusted myself to the seat, not turning to my right side anymore and closed my eyes trying to think of smiling puppies. ive been on a plane before, in fact a private one last year but that was it. this is my second time flying away from new york and i was a bit nervous.

y/n somehow noticed my sudden tense form, who am i kidding i looked like i was about to die coz of my nerves. and held my hand. and i immediately opened my eyes again, the feeling of her skin coming in contact with mine brought chills down my spine, good ones obviously

"you looked rather tense, is this ok?" she leaned into my ear so i could hear her. i looked at her confused on why she would want to help me but nodded as a reply. a smile crept on my face and i couldnt seem to take it off.  the take off went smoothly thank god. and ive occasionally squeezed her hand, usually when the plane made very loud sounds. but i made it! woohoo

i didnt know if i should stop holding her hand or not, even though i didnt want to. will she think im a creep? and if i did, will she think im rude? but i guess it didnt seem to bother her if she went back to sleeping. so i figured i should do the same

i shifted in my seat a couple of times trying to get the perfect comfy spot....nothing. this seat will be the death of m-

"you can sleep on my shoulder if you want" she whispered. "i figured since you let me sleep on yours which im very sorry about, you could sleep on mine" she smiled

"thanks, but i dont wanna bother you or make you uncomfortable"

"oh nonsense! my body is screaming right now cheering for me, well partially scolding at me for saying something risky like that to a good looking guy, its ok" she laughed, her eyes widened in shock from what she confessed. i smiled at her and rested my head on her shoulder

"you think im good looking?" i whispered playing with our fingers, i dont know when i got the sudden confidence but hearing someone like her think a loser like me is cute did something to me.

"shut up" she playfully shoved me and i laughed.

"are you from midtown?" i asked her

"no im from queens" she joked

"oh you're definitely from midtown" i chuckled, next thing i know i was having a normal conversation with me laying my head on a girl i just met like we knew eachother for years, it was nice to talk to a girl i potentially thought was cute instead of talking gibberish

she was very understanding and looked like interested into what i was saying, i was gonna skip my geeky side when she asked about what i like but to my surprise, she mentioned it when i asked her the same, she said she loves comics and likes watching sci fi movies. i asked her if she watched star wars and she said she didnt...yet.

"wanna uhm watch it together?" i played with her fingers absentmindedly nervous if she'd reject me.

"yeah sure" her eyes lit up like she was waiting for me to ask her that. we watched the movie in bliss, thankfully she liked it! and immediately said to put the second one. and surprise surprise, we finished it.

when the credits rolled in, i saw her yawning, shifting in her seat again, i decided to be bold so i lifted her head off my shoulder pulled the arm rest away from us, took a pillow and patted my lap. immediately after doing it i regretted it, she barely knows me, what the fuck peter.

"you sure?" she asked smiling a bit, she looked like she felt something giddy inside which made me feel at peace again and i nodded.

"good night" she whispered snuggling her head on my lap, i hesitantly put my arm over

"good night, y/n" and we fell asleep like how ned slept the whooole time i was talking to her, wow we have a lot to catch up on

bonus:

peters pov

i didnt know the whole plane (our class) practically gushed over my interaction with y/n, i know its been a while since i liked a girl but betty and the rest (including Mr Harrington) practically begged mj to take photos of us since she was the closest, not that she wouldnt have done it without them asking her....

*A/N: idk what this bonus was lmao but i had to add the school feeling happy for our boy pete*

have a wonderful morning/afternoon/evening/night!

-quacksonlover

[olde-scratch]

So I watched LUCIDS 1-4 without any prior knowledge...

and here were my thoughts. I didn’t watch any backstory or anything so enjoy my suffering.

PART 1

“So what happens when the people inside of their dreams go to sleep?” They die

“What happens when we wake up? Do they go on living while we’re not there?” THEY DIE-

“Who are they anyway?” they’re faces that our brain catalogs and stores for later use, although it’s also arguable that every time we dream we go to an alternate reality and inhabit the body of another version of ourselves. Now, were you in a car accident and trapped underwater or-

Are they twins?

(Me tuning out to do something)

“-the squirrel in spongebob was your soulmate, making you a Sandy simp-”

Me, snapping back to the video: hold up-

[missed the part about the worksheet, realized it when i rewatched 10 mins later to make this post]

yall speakin gibberish idk what youre saying-

“I’m gonna go to bed.” bro it literally looks like morning-

“You should get some sleep you look terrible.” i get six hours of sleep a night minimum and i look worse than him shut up bro-

“jump into someone else’s dream” ah i know this con-

why they all got the same face-

haha funni meme

“--an interruptiion can create feedback and tear them apart.” Death. I long for thee.

Is that Karl Jacob’s jacket?

“a second grader” makes me think this is a different school system. [i was wrong? i think?]

“[get him to] eat your apple”

[in the dream sequence] weird dream, but ive had weirder. now, Why Pamper’s-

why does he suddenly have a knife-

“You put a filter on the Dreamscape feed?”

“Technically, you are seven years old.”

???????????

the second hand embarrassment is UGGGHHH

[reading the description] you mean like the guy who was knocked out for 2 minutes on a football field and woke to find he’d dreamt 17 years of his life? oh this shall be Fun

PART 2

[I check the description] “jasper cult” what the fu-

how many camp camp references can i make during this

Is the apple a reference to religion or does the creator just really ilke apples?

“meal.”

“meal?”

meal????

Wait why couldn’t that guy eat the apple? If he wanted it in the fruit bowl, wouldn’t there be a chance of the guy eating it anyways?? Why can’t the guy who brought the apple eat it?

well he’s Dead

[debating if I should read the backstory}

n a h h h h h -

Was he gonna feed the dead guy the apple or something? Why is he upset about the apple in this scene???

oooo the grownups are fightinnnngggg

Is he an antagonist?

HE WROTE A BOOK???

oh now i want food

ESTABLISH JUSTICE ENSURE DOMESTIC TRANQUILITYYYYYYYYYYYYY

“I watched all those aforementioned shows” what shows did i miss something what-

man why you gotta hate on her jane austen fanfic let her live bro

string theory! i can get behind that! sorta-

o no he found the memes-

BOY GOT KNOCKED OUT-

kim there’s people that are dying-

is SHE an antagonist?

quinn? calling himself jasper? u sure hes not just nonbinary? is this just a metaphor for transphobic parenting?

“He died... but somewhere, he grew up.” So is your plan to take a Quinn from a different universe and make him your own, thereby robbing another version of yourself from happiness? When does this ever go well?

Yknow most people, when they lose a kid,,,, kinda,,,,,,, dont go on a ceaseless quest to find another version of their kid that grew up without knowing that another version of his mother was invading other peoples’ dreams to find and kidnap him,,,,,,,, like aint u got a therapist-

“Once you get past the point of not knowing what’s real anymore, you realize it doesn’t matter.” Well, I Got Called Out-

PART 3

“you’re real, oliver.”

aRe yOu sUrE aBoUt tHaT-

“you’ve been infected by the anti-love parasite of Mandadon” the amatonormativity is strong

so anyways ive been infected since birth hbu-

“James Jasperson, creator of Japple” did you mean to Fancy Well-Educated Man in a Black Turtleneck? cause the only FWEMBT i allow near me is prof. hidgens

“are you winning?” says the capitalist

why did you rewind to see his face?? you have the same face????? is this just bc the creator doesnt like working with other people cause in that case same but???????

“it’s a bad idea. i’m not gonna do it.” we’ve all been there. and we’ve all done it.

looks like me trying to study. (i say, a person who has studied a total of five minutes throughout their entire life.)

your “Spartan trial” looks like a bunch of guys standing on a hill pretending to be something they’re not. Let The Man Bring His Snacks.

eat the apple.

is this your first existential crisis or something what a loser lets all point and laugh

“One of you should be spared, the other shall’nt.” did you mean shant or was that a choice-

yall gonna get called out for talking shut UP

“sorry if this is too personal, btw. are you okay?”

me, confused and half understanding what’s going on and also needing to sleep cause its almost one in the morning but wanting to finish what i can find of lucids which i only starting watching cause i saw an animatic of ranboo and dream w audio from it: i don’t know anymore

“i just want my life back... i was gonna get married-” AREN’T YOU LIKE SEVEN-

ay man if this is a sacrificial cult yall gotta get daniel-

UPDATE: I  H A V E  N O T  F O U N D  I T -

“oliver”

I  F O U N D   I  T -

WHICH ONE IS QUINN?? WHO’S JASPER???? WHICH ONE IS BENJAMIN???? I THOUGH BENJAMIN WAS SEVEN BUT I THOUGHT HE WAS THE ONE GETTING MARRIED WHAT-

oliver. eat the apple.

“Can you still have memories even when you’re dreaming?” One time I woke up to my alarm and fell back asleep and in my dream I remembered that I had class in a few minutes and my dream self woke my real self up so fast I thought I was gonna get whiplash. Anyways, I was late to class bc of my computer but that doesn’t matter.

NOPE I FOUND IT. HERE’S THE AUDIO. THE ANIMATIC ONE. FINALLY.

im thinking car crash. but also maybe murder. but also maybe both? is it raining or was he drowning? is he in a coma? hmmmmmm?

wait olivers the one with the apple does that mean he’s the one dreaming? is the ending gonna be him and jasper (quinn? idk) fighting against ben and mrs hills about jasper eating the apple to save oliver from the dream? hmmmmmmmmmm-

waitwaitwait i thought oliver was 7 how is benjamin 7 years younger than him if they look the same age what what what explain america explain what you mean arkansaw-

are the cuts on his nose plot-relevant or

“What if you hadn’t been driving?” So I was right about the car accident but Mrs. Hills still said he was seven so did i mishear her say that BENJAMIN was seven? but even then oliver would be 14 and that would still be illegal-

“How are you feeling?”

“Like you’re a pretty bad therapist.”

mood

“--it makes it all bearable to have power over the stories we write in our heads” that’s why i write fanfiction

HE’S GOT THE NOTEBOOK HE’S GONNA WRITE SOMETHING ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US

WHAT YOU MEAN AN EXPERIMENT THAT’S HIS NAME-

[upon reading the description] so i was right.

wait was that supposed to be the twist in part 2 about the apple in his pocket is that what the existential crisis was about i thought it was because he was introduced to the multiple worlds theory-

PART 4

wait wasnt the other one january 2018 why we going back to 2017-

appol

“--the future and the past all already exist” mhm yep figured this out long ago

there was simultaneously a point in time in which i hadn’t known about this, had been looking it up, had been watching it, and had been writing an ending to this post, and had been posting it the next morning before class. that time is both now and not now. Welcome To The Multiverse Theory or whatever its called-

“--my favorite scene of the movie is waking up next to you.” Mine is eating fast food as I listen to AJJ and play Minecraft. We are not the same.

Now I’m hungry but it’s 1 in the morning and i already put my retainer in god fu-

[reading description] what do you mean previously??? she did that in the first episode????????

[still on description] WHAT DO YOU MEAN WILL QUINN BITE THE APPLE AND GO TO BENJAMINS REALITY ISNT THIS OLIVERS REALITY AND HE HAS TO GET BEN TO BITE THE APPLE WHY IS APPLE CAPITALIZED IS THIS THE DOING OF THE FWEMBT

i should have watched the backstory i should have watched the backstory i should have watched the backstory i should have wa-

[description] oh ive been spelling quinn right the whole time nice

i hope she rejects you /j

WAIT BENJAMIN WAS THE ONE GETTING MARRIED TO ISABELLE

ISNT HE IN SECOND GRADE-

HE IS SEVEN YEARS OLD HOW IS HE GETTING MARRIED ARE THERE TWO BENJAMINS THAT WE’RE FOCUSING ON-

bro get out of the road ull get hit

how do you knOW WHICH ONE IS QUINN THEY ARE THE SAME PERSON-

so

wait

hills wants ben to feed quinn the apple bc in his mind, that will give hills and quinn a happy ending and she doesnt want ben to see the apple bc thats gonna mean ben will know that his reality isnt reality at all. so then oliver has to,,,, not let anyone eat his apple? he just has to wake up?

IS HILLS THE VILLAIN AFTER ALL ORRRRR

wait but if ben sees the apple wont he realize that his reality is wrong and his reality will change, making it so that hills doesnt get her son? or is there some time-based rule that says they’re only transported to the reality that the person believes at that moment? or is this another stab at the multiverse thing where an infinite amount of hills gets their happy endings while an infinite amount of hills doesnt and etc etc?

i should have watched the ba-

oooo dramatique

they’re in a time loop?

nope thats a new powerpoint

wait so theyre,,,, no-

wait-

nvm-

IS THE BEN WE KNOW AN ADULT GETTING MARRIED TO ISABELLE OR NOT-

“they were actually pretty nice” didnt they throw someone off a cliff-

oh so it got confusing THEN??? NOT BEFORE?????

“it all seemed so real.” is that Not the point of vivid REM sleep hallucinations-

is oliver gonna show ben the apple and ruin hills’ whole operation

WHO ARE ALEX AND RYAN-

“what’s 25-8″ bro dont do this to me-

yep hes gonna show the apple

ayyy the guy who stole karl jacobs jacket it back

the second hand embarrassment is back and I Hate It

all that happens in episode ONE??? bro get some better writers that is bad pacing

“it’s the best!” wait until season eight. no show has a good season eight.

quinn knows about the apple thing w the dreams and multiverse and realities dont he

YOU KILLED HIM

NOT KARL JACOBS NOOOOO HES ALREADY DIED ONCE

oliver is v relatable

wHaT iN tArNaTiOn-

lemme hear that explanaton again-

is bill cipher gonna show up? i hope bill cipher shows up. i miss gravity falls

“ah! a tree! ah! a tree! ah a tree!” moooooooood

did hills murder quinn

is your family the jasper cult

TOXXIICCCCCC get that lady out of your life quinn that is so toxic

“ ah! a tree! ah! a tree! ah a tree!  ah! a tree! ah! a tree! ah a tree!” mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT’S THE END NO WHAT WHY NO

The Adventures of Benjamin and Oliver

he is Not Good

ope-

wait so ben is equal parts an adult AND a child?? okay that clears a lot up

I MEAN HE WAS RIGHT THO BEN U CAN’T REALLY ARGUE ON THAT-

ew get off the floor

butterfly effect, multiverse theory, memory decay, and your imagination ALL exist yall gonna ignore that cause you wanna be famous?

“We already know what the future looks like!”

aRe yOu sUrE aBoUt tHaT-

to add to the list of bad things: Cats (2019)

YA BOI THINKS IT’S NOT ALREADY FIFTY YEARS TOO LATE TO START FIGHTING CLIMATE CHANGE FFFFF

BINGO BABYYYY

get what what

what mapped-

awwwww he thinks THEY’RE creating the multiverse

you gonna dismiss the multiverse theory bc of something you created in your current reality? loooserrrrrr

ABUSE YOUR GODLIKE POWERS

she draggin that seven year old

a lot makes sense now why didnt i do this first-

Jasper

the food shortages-

bro that calculators like 90 bucks at walmart

imagine meeting a stranger and they know Everything about your life like that’s gotta be so weird

what’s even weirder is them telling you you’re the deity of a cult that sacrifices animals

THAT FOURTH WALL BREAK WAS-

KARL JACOBS IS DEAD NOOOOOO

ooohhh there’s context for that

OOOOHHHH THERE’S CONTEXT FOR THIS TOOOO

w h a t -

w  h  a  t  -

W   H   A   T   -

Conclusion:

it’s 2 in the morning and i need sleep but hOOOOO MY GODS THAT WAS GOOD IS IT OVER OR NOT IDK ANYMORE IM TIRED THAT WAS CRAZY I HOPE QUINN AND JASPER GO ON TO BE VERY GOOD FRIENDS, AND I HOPE BENJAMIN AND OLIVER STAY VERY GOOD FRIENDS AND I HOPE HILLS FINDS A THERAPIST WAS A LITTLE CONFUSING BUT I ENJOYED IT

if i dream about apples im suing /j /lh

[laraheartstaylor]

Meeting @taylorswift - My Experience 💘

The Main Story

It all started on the 5th of October 2017 (Thursday). Taylor Nation dmed me on instagram&tumblr that they needed to speak to me about a confidential eventand asked me the basic information they needed to know. I gave them it and a few minutes later they called!!! They asked to speak to my mum but I wasn’t at home I was at someone’s house so they said they’d call back. They called back a few hours later and told my mum that I was too young to attend the event (secret sessions) and so they’d be sending me a package from Taylor instead! They said the package would arrive on the 11th of October(Wednesday) and the time was to be confirmed. (From the 5th-11th tn we’re keeping in contact with me it was so cool)

So I waited SUPER EXCITEDLY DKCJDKD for just under a week until THE GOLDEN DAY THAT WOULD CHANGE MY LIFE FOREVER rolled around!!!! I went to school and could not concentrate for the whole day of course and then the end of the day came around. I raced home and got changed and waited. Then Taylor nation sent me a dm saying my package would be delivered from 4pm-6pm. So, I went upstairs to the bathroom and sat on the ledge, looking down into the street waiting to see a delivery truck drive down my road. It must’ve been aliens 4:30 when I noticed a man standing in my road wearing head phones and speaking into them. He was looking up my road and at a car that was driving down it. The car parked up in front of my house (I just thought it was someone parking ect). There were two men sat in the front seats and the back ones were blacked out. THEN,, a boy stepped out of the car (so I thought it was just a boy getting dropped of or something) BUT then I noticed he was holding two tope bags that said “rep” on them. AT THIS POINT I WAS LOSING IT, but what was to happen next would KILL ME. A ~BLONDE GODDESS~~ STEPPed OUT OF THE CAR AND STARTED WALKING UP TO MY FRONT DOOR. I WAS RACING DOWN THE STAIRS AND THE KNOCKed On THE DOOR AND I STARTED SHOUTING to MY MUM LIKE SHES HERE ELEKFKKEKFRKFKOEFK!! SO I OPENED THE DOOR AND THERE SHE WAS !!!!!! BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING AND CUTE AND ~THE WOMAN I HAVE ADORED FOR SO MANY YEARS~ STANDING THERE AND THEN SHE HAD THE AUDACITY TO SAY “HEY BUDDY” LIKE OMAY SIS ATTACK ME MORE IM AMREADY DESD OKAY IL SHOOK IM DEAD UK SKCMDCKD uMMMMM PAMYCJEJCKRKFKFKFKEKFRKFKRJFJRJJF I MISS HER SO MUCB SKMFRMKFRKKGMFGMMF IM GOING TO INCLUDE THE CONVERSATION JN TBE NEXT SECTION

sorry guys I tried to keep this chill and neat and professional but ofc you know me I cannot do that!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyways next section HERE WE GO JM SOBBING ALRWSDY

The Conversation

Okay sisters I’m going to try to say as much as I can because it’s such a blurrrr !!! I can only remeber bits of the conversations so here we go :,)

So after she decided to attack me with “hey buddy!” and I had stopped speaking gibberish and being super embarrassing (for now) she said “can I see you room?” And wbk I was praying to the heavens that my room was tidy (it was not) so I said “yEAH SURE” and like we went upstairs and LIKE TAYLOR SWIFT WAD WALKING BEHIND ME AND SHE WAS LIKE “you have such a cool house!” LIKE SIS IM ALREADY ATTACKED STOP! And we walked into my room and she said something along the lines of “omg!! I love your room, I saw in your videos it’s really extensive” LIKE SIS WHAT VIDEOS STOP KILLING ME LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!! AND THEN WE TALKED ABOUT STUFF AND THIS IS WHAT I CAN REMEMBER:

“You’re so cute!!!!! *hugs*” MORE THAN ONCE LIKE SHE HUGGED ME MULTIPLE TIMES LIKE UM OKAY UM ILDJDJDJJDDN

BASICALLY TAYLOR TOLD ME BECAUSE SHE WAS GETTING USED TO ALL THE NEW IG FEATURES SHE DIDNT KNOW WHAT A LIVE STREAM ON IG WAS SO SHE WAS LURKING MY PAGE ON THE 6TH OCT (day she joined my live) AND THEN CLICKED ON MY LIVE STREAM WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT IT WAS AND SHE “FREAKED AND AND THOUGH CAT EMOJI CAT EMOJI” KDKCKDK I ADORE HER

“Oh yeah I love how you love the song how you get the girl”!!

my mind: “SKS WTF MAN YOU CANT DONTHAT LIKE WJP GAVE YOU THE RUGHT SIS NO ATOP THIS JS NOT DAIR IM NOT PREPARED YOU JUST BROUGHT IP TJE SONG I OWE MY LiFE TO”

me: “ OH MY GOD YeSSS I ADORE IT SO MUCH! AND THE DRESS AND EVERYBUNG ITS HONESYLU SO PERFECT!”

Taylor: “oh yeahh haha the light up dress?!!”

mE: “YES!!!!!!!!!!!! That’s the name of my second account hehe” (we love a self promoting queenie😩😩😭)

THEN...

me: *speaking about ibfs*

Taylor: “how do you know all these people?” *smiles*

Me: “LIKE THROUGH YOU”

Taylor: *laughs*

Me: *try to talk about Brits GC without losing it... (moral of the story: i lose it )

Me: *tries to remember Brits usernames and names but I’m tOo dead so gives up and says “should I show you them?”*

Taylor: “yeah yeah”

Me: *shows her them”

Taylor: “that’s so cute! That’s so awesome! They’re just chilling there. Oh yeahhh *giggles* I know a lot of these”

THEN

Me: *speaks about tabby and how great she is*

Taylor: “ooo does she live in the uk?”

Me: nope, she lives in Germany but she sounds a bit American so we have a joke that she’s ‘gemerican’

Taylor: *LauGHS* (AT TABBY AND I’S JOKE WE HAVE HAD FOR AGES)

THEN...

Taylor: “do you want me to sign these posters?”

me: “yes please!!!”*hands pen*

Taylor: “do you want to hear a song from the new album no ones heard yet?”

Me: “UM YES PLEASE “

Taylor: *opens bag, gets out head phones&ipod hands me them* “alright this song is called king of my heart” *plays it on her iPod*

me: *hears what heaven sounds like*&bops super hard

Taylor: *goes around my room signing my posters with her autograph&cute messages*

komh: *ends*

Taylor: “did you like it”

Me:”I LOVED IT!!!”

Taylor:” turns to Patrick* “sUCCESS!!”

THEN...

T: “where are the kitty cats?!”

me: “ we can go downstairs and find them!”

we: *all go downstairs*

We find my cats in the garden and the run away whoops

*we all take photos in my garden*

Then Taylor had the leave to have dinner with her parents ( OH YEAH SHE ALSO SAID “my parents told me to say hi!!” BECAUSE THEYD ALL BEEN stALKING ME TOGETHER)) and we hugged and I was super emo and I told her about a cookie dough place in nyc (@taylorswift sis pls say you’ve been there it’s so good!!!!!!!!) and we hugged for the last time and it was so genuine like patrick watched us hug and he smiled because it was SUCH A CUTE AND TIGHT HUG AND UGH I MISS HER

(Also throughout,, taylor hugged me so much and we took lots of photos too!!)

The Taylor Week- 5th-11th October

So basically between those dates Taylor attacked me more!!!!!!! On the 6th (Friday) she joined my live stream and commented “😻” ONAY SIS EAH JUST KILL ME AHAIN and then on the 8th (Sunday) she just OPENED MY DM AS SOON AS I SENT IT AND ID BASICALLY SAID “thank yOU FOR NOTICING MY BEST FRIENDS ILYYYYYY”

So yeS EXTREMELY ATTSCKED

Highlights

The moments that meant to most to me was (everything of course ) when we spoke about hygtg and I listened to komh and when we hugged so many times :,) but the whole thing was the best day of my life and the brightest highlight of my life!!!!!!!! TAYLOR INMISS YOU SONMUXN BABE HOW ID IT POSSIBME GOW MUCH I MISSS U I DONT GET IT

@taylorswift thank You so mUCH FOR EVERYTHUBG YOU HAVE DONE FOR ME I OWE ALL MY HAPPINESS & MY LIFE TO YOU I MISS UOU BEYOND WORDS AND WOW I JUST ADORE YOU WILL MY WHOLE HEART!!!!!!!! TOUR WAS AMAZING AND IF YOUNSEE THIS INMISS UOU SO MUCH AND YOURE DOING SO WELL!!💗💓💗💗💘💗💗💓💗💗💓💞💘💘💗💓💓💗

[the-goddess-of-change]

Games

  Unfortunately, some of the pics wont save on here so im putting up a deviantart link for those who need it. Sorry 

http://aleanne.deviantart.com/art/Games-683937049?ga_submit_new=10%3A150205849 A late Saturday night, four friends are all sitting in a circle on the floor looking at each other with gleaming eyes It's two two guys and two girls. Jerry and Chris as well as Anna and Lily. All of them are in their mid twenties. They stare at each other taking turns to look down on a small little crystal on the floor It's said to have mysterious gift giving powers which they have tried out and it seemed to work. but for each time i grew smaller Jerry took a sip of his beer and looked at Chris ''So, you wanna use it all for fun today?'' Chris took his up from the crystal and looked at him ''Yeah, we're all buzzed, its a good time, and we tried to get money and that didn't work so i doubt it can do everything we ask for'' Lily picked it up and held it in her hand ''it looks nice though...sure you dont wanna save it ?'' ''Chris shook his head ''Well then i got an idea'' Anna said in an excited tone The three of them all looked at her ''oh ? what did you have in mind ?'' ''Well...if it grants wishes, instead of just using it, how about we make it a competition ? the winner gets to decide what happens to them or the losers'' The three looked at each other and grinned ''what if one screws something up though ?'' Lily said ''I'm sure none of us are that evil'' Jerry laughed and took a sip of his beer ''Well, im up for it'' Chris said ''Same'' Jerry said The girls looked at each other and shrugged ''Yeah, okay, we're in, right Lily?'' ''Yeah! we're not gonna let you two have all the fun and since it was Anna's idea, i think she should go first'' Anna smiled and looked at them all and grabbed two die from the game they played earlier ''okay then...the one who rolls highest wins this round then'' They all nodded and Anna rolled first ''I got a...2...'' Anna sighed and picked up the die ''My turn then!'' she yelled and rolled and got 5 ''just a 5 ? awww'' she sighed and handed the die to Chris Chris smiled at them and closed his eyes and rolled them he slowly opened his eyes and looked at the results ''i got 12! two sixes!'' Jerry looked at him in an annoyed way ''you lucky dick'' he snatched the die and rolled without a care ''i got an...8'' Anna smiled and picked back up the die ''So, Chris won, Jerry got in second, Lily third and me last...'' Chris smiled and picked up the crystal ''okay then...here we go! dont hate me guys i'll start with you then Anna!'' Anna giggled but at the same time looked worried ''What are you gonna do ?'' Chris just smiled and looked at her ''you'll know'' Chris smiled and looked at Anna ''Okay, Anna, i'd like you to turn into a copy of your mom'' Chris said laughing and took another sip of his beer Anna's face turned pale and looked at him ''oh my god Chris! i should kill you!'' she looked at him angrily but then started to laugh as the crystal lit up and she started to change Her hair went from Blonde to a gentle light brown, her face started to change and she took on a more mature look to her as she changed When the changes was over Anna looked over at Chris and sighed ''you turned me into my mom...that is so weird!'' Chris just laughed ''it worked tho! that is awesome!'' Lily and Jerry just laughed as well ''Hello Lauren'' Lily giggled ''oh shut up Lily'' Anna pouted ''its your turn now anyway Lily so this better be good'' Chris nodded and looked at Lily ''Well then Lily, i wish for you to turn into a copy of Anna then'' Lily sighed and looked at Anna ''That sucks'' She said and started to change as well Lily sighed once it was over ''This is so weird...im Anna and Anna's her own mom'' Anna nodded in agreement ''Well, take another sip of beer and float with it then'' They both looked at each other and shrugged and took a sip from their cans Chris then turned his attention to Jerry ''So for you Jerry, you dick, i'd wish that for each sip of beer you take, you turn wasted even faster, since you never get drunk'' ''What ?!'' Lily and Anna screamed at the same time ''thats all ?'' Jerry said ''Yeah...for now i guess'' The crystal shimmered as jerry took another sip of his beer and instantly felt his vision getting messy and his head feeling heavy and light at the same time ''..it worked...i think'' he said in a droopy tone ''Okay! Since i won this round, i think i pick the next game as well then ?'' They all nodded slowly while Chris looked around the room ''Hmm...'' ''i'm so bad at coming up with stuff...'' ''How about...okay, we go to the tween route and i get the bottle and spin it ?'' Anna just sighed ''Bottle spin ? for real ?'' ''Well you do better then!'' Anna just shook her head as Chris got a bottle and put in the middle of them and spun it ''First spin goes to...Anna...or should we say Lauren ?'' he laughed Anna poked him and grinned ''just keep laughing you'' Chris spun the bottle again but Anna stopped him ''Wait...if i got first..does it matter who gets second, third and fourth ?'' ''I well...it was your idea to do it like that, i just went with it because i didn't know what to say'' Jerry yawned and took another sip of his beer ''I..think you'reallgreat!'' ''Thank you Jerry'' Lily giggled ''But i won so, i decide now, you loser Chris, i'm saving you for last, but i think since i won, i get to pick for myself as well'' ''Hey, no fair! i didn't get that!''Chris yelled ''Not my fault, you never said anything'' Chris sighed ''Okay then, i'll start with....Lily!'' Lily looked at her ''Okay...dont be mean'' she giggled as Anna looked at her Anna just smiled and poked Lily ''I wish that you forgot who lily is and became me in your head as well!'' Lily's face turned pale white and she was about to scream something as the crystal shone and her face turned into normal, she then turned and looked at Anna ''You okay Anna ?'' ''Y-yeah mom, sorry'' Chris and Jerry looked at Anna ''An...wait, Lauren...that is messed up'' ''Like you're one to talk Chris!'' Chris immediately shut up and looked down ''As for you Jerry...i dont like you being wasted so i wish you turned back into normal'' The crystal shone and Jerry regained his composure ''Thanks...'' Lauren smiled and then looked at Chris ''For you Chris, i'd wish for you to become a little baby so you will shut up for a bit'' Everyone in the room looked at Chris and started to laugh violently as the crystal started to shine and Chris shook his head and looked at them and started to shrink into his clothes He grew smaller and smaller til the mountain of clothes was just a pile on top of him Jerry laughed and removed some of the clothes to find Chris wearing some cute baby clothes ''oh my god!'' they all started to laugh as Christ tried to talk but nothing but gibberish came out They all started to poke Chris as Lauren walked over and picked him over and sat him down on her lap ''He's kinda cute, but i dont think he likes it, look at him'' they all just laugh as Anna picks up the crystal and looks at it ''its so small now..'' ''Mhm...oh, but Lauren, you didn't pick for yourself'' ''Oh right...uhm...okay well, i wish...my back didn't hurt i guess'' she said as the pain went away ''that worked'' ''So who goes now ?'' Jerry shrugged, how about you go Lily ?'' ''you sure ?'' ''Yeah, just pick a game and lets go'' Jerry nodded and looked around ''okay, Chris is going to lose this one instantly but...'' Jerry stood up and walked to the fridge and got out three cans of beer ''first one to chug it down wins'' Lauren and Anna cracked open theirs and smiled ''You're on Jerry!'' Anna said as Jerry cracked open his ''i'll put a timer on my phone, 10 seconds'' he got out his phone and put on a timer and once it hit zero they started to drink ''I win'' Anna yelled and put the drink down!'' ''Damn it, was almost there'' Jerry sighed as Lauren put the can down ''i guess i come in third and little Chris loses of course'' They all nodded, Even Chris as Anna held up the crystal and smiled at them all ''So, are you ready ?'' Anna smiles as Chris grabs the crystal from her hand and tries to say something anna quickly grabs the crystal away from his as Chris slowly starts to glow as her grows older and returns back to himself ''oh thank god!'' he smiles and quickly grabs his clothes and gets dressed Anna just sighs and looks at him ''what a shame so anyway, lets have some fun'' ''My first wish goes to mom!'' ''oh ? me ?'' Anna smiles and nods ''I wish Lauren..or mom would never get older!'' The crystal glows as Lauren can feel her body tickle a bit ''Awww, that is so sweet of you!'' Anna smiles and looks at Chris and Jerry ''Now for you two i have a fun thing, i'm going to combine it so its for you both'' Jerry looks at Anna ''what do you mean?'' ''You will soon find out Jerry'' Anna giggles and looks down at the crystal who has turned quite small by now ''Okay for you two, i wish that you became twins, but not just twins, I'd like you two to become non identical twins and a little change of appearance should be in order'' ''So for my wish, i wish you two become twin girls!'' Anna smiles happily as the crystal starts to glow as Jerry and Chris' face turns pale white The crystal glows brighter and brighter as they all close their eyes as Jerry and Chris slowly starts to change The crystal slowly starts to glow as Lauren and Anna opens their eyes as they both start to laugh as they look at the two new twins in the room Lauren and Anna looks at where Chris was sitting where it now sits a woman instead Chris brushes some hair away from his eyes and looks at Lauren and Anna then over at Jerry once sat and gasps Jerry looks at them and gasps Before any of them can say a word Lauren starts to laugh ''Oh my god! you two look amazing!'' she screams out as both of them look at each other then down at their bodies ''holy...shit..'' Chris manages to say as he looks at Jerry Jerry just looks down and gently pokes his breasts with his new slender hand ''oh my god...i got no words...'' ''S-same...this is not what i...thought...'' Anna smiles at them ''you two look amazing...but you dont really look like twins...i mean you're...uhm...you know Chris and you're...uhm...you know Jerry'' ''We are what?'' Chris stutters ''you know...different races...'' ''That is your..my god'' Chris sighs and looks at Jerry who is to occupied with poking his breasts Lauren just smiles and looks at them then notices something ''oh..look, the crystal...its almost gone'' she says and picks up, its about the same size as small coin ''i think its one charge left...'' Chris says and looks at it ''Well...if it is one left...we should reverse the changes we made you know'' Lauren says and looks at it Chris nods while Anna shrugs but Jerry tilts his head and looks at it and quickly snaps it away from Lauren Chris looks at Jerry ''Jerry...? what the hell are you doing ?'' He says nothing but just keeps looking at the crystal, quickly glancing and the three others ''we can reverse it...or do one last thing...'' ''like...what? '' Lauren asks ''Money...Fame...whatever we might want'' ''I dont know...id kinda like to go back being...myself again'' Chris says Jerry looks at him ''But you look amazing...why ?'' ''Its not about looking amazing or whatever! i was happy being myself, and i dont want you to mess it up for some...pervy dream or something'' ''Jerry, stop it..for real'' Chris sighs ''...Call me Mia instead'' Chris rolls his eyes ''Whatever then'' Lauren looks at Anna who just looks back at her ''What do you think dear ?'' ''I dont know mom...'' ''its settled then, one last wish...lets make it a big one'' They all look at each other and after several minutes of silence they all just sigh and shrugs ''...fine'' Chris says ''Fine for me and mom'' Anna says Mia smiles ''Okay then, for our last wish...lets make it a big one...if i put a lot of wishes into one single wish..it might work...if that makes sense'' ''i dont know...try it out'' Lauren says Mia smiles ''okay then, lets try!'' ''I wish Lauren had an infinite amount of money! i wish Anna would would become famous for a good cause and never get sick or ill, i wish that i would become a famous model and i wish...Jerry...no...Rachel would...uhm...i...i wish...'' she stops talking and just keeps looking at Jerry who she just decided to call Rachel ''Rachel ?...okay...so what for me ?'' ''....I wish Rachel would become my girlfriend and in the future my wife!'' Mia screams out as the crystals glows brighter and brighter and starts to gently float in the air as it just vanishes into thin air As it happens an insane glow covers the room as they can all feel themselves kinda floating in the air, After a little while they all lose just slowly drift into sleep ....An uncertain amount of time later ''H-hey ? Wake up...Wake up!'' Anna pokes Mia Mia yawns and slowly sits up in a large sofa and looks around... ''Where...am i...?'' ''in my mom's home...thanks to your wish i guess...looks like...somethings changed...'' ''oh...nice...'' ''Yes...Nice...'' she looks at her ''you know we heard you right ? you wanted me to become famous...i dont know if i am yet or will be soon enough and all that...my mom checked her bank account and...well...that came true but...'' she looks at mia ''For your wish to Rachel...'' Mia looks down on the black leather sofa Anna sits down next to her and smiles ''Although i...dont agree with the way you did it...i dont know...im glad you..did it kinda but...shouldn't you have asked her ?'' ''i...i know but...i couldnt think...i just saw her next to me and...i just felt like i wanted to be with her forever...'' ''Yeah but...you...you forgot...you're sisters now...'' Mia's eyes turns wide ''i...i for...forgot...but...i dont care...'' ''...i know you dont'' ''Where is she by the way ?'' ''she's in the garden...she was the first one who woke up here...she's been thinking a lot and of course due to your wish she loves you a lot but she still knows what you did'' ''She is trying to put it all into perspective, not only did you make her love you but you also made her stay a woman without really asking her about it'' ''I...i know...but like i said...i just...i dont know when i say her...its like i saw a image in my head...'' ''i know you've always been kinda...like that Mia, But...well, it cant be changed now but are you happy being Mia?'' ....She stands up and looks at Anna ''I...feel good, i like it...it might be weird but...i cant explain it, i never wanted it, but now that has happened to me...i just feel this peace I've never felt before'' ''And like i said...when i saw Rachel...i just got this picture of us...me wearing a dress and just cuddling next to her...and it felt just so right...'' ''Well...you were a guy....most guys are kinda.....they get of to that'' ''No! not that! not being a lesbian or whatever, i dont care about that, it was just the feeling i got for her! if Rachel had been a boy...and not Chris...i would have felt the same'' Anna shrugs ''i dont know...but if that's what you chose so be it'' ''Yeah..i guess i should talk to her....where did you say she was ?'' Anna points to a glass door behind them ''out there, shes sitting on the sofa outside'' Mia nods and slowly walks over to the door and opens it and walks out as she spots Rachel looking at her as she walks trough the door ''Hey'' Mia says and walks over to her and sits down next to her Rachel smiles at her and strokes her cheek ''If it is a wish or if it is real...i dont care, the feeling when i saw you now...i know that's real'' she says and looks at Mia as a single tear rolls down Mia's cheek ''You're right...You're right Rachel...this is real'' ''it is Real sweetie...my beautiful sweet Mia'' she says and strokes her hair and scoots a bit closer to her ''I love you Rachel'' ''And i love you Mia...forever'' They both smile at each other as they both close their eyes and slowly kiss lovingly as Anna takes a quick peek then quickly heads back inside ''Dont bother them sweetie'' ''I wasn't mom..i was just looking'' ''They love each others...they might be sisters in this world but...i dont think it matters to them at all, and it shouldnt to us either'' ''i know mom! i am not saying anything!'' Lauren just smiles and checks her account again ''my god Mom...you're impossible'' ''Whatever...with this we will never worry again and Anna ?'' ''Yes mom ?'' ''You'll adjust to it, forget about jerry and Chris...you got two new friends now, help them when they need it and support them'' ''oh my god Mom'' Anna smiles and walks over to the door and looks at them again as Lauren follows ''They're my best friends mom...of course i will and i support them...'' Mia and Rachel just keep looking at each other and smiles ''Who would have known it would end up like this'' ''No one mom but...after looking at them...i'm happy'' Mia and Rachel looks at them and stands up holding hands ''And so are we''

[knowyourkaldereta]

Roj and Jeff

‘Kilala na kita, pero hindi mo pa ako kilala’, these were your words when I asked you how do we tell people how we knew each other. I remember you telling me that you always have this huge crush on me back in college,  you were telling me that you saw me in a Facebook page on Diliman crushes (haha!).

I am not even sure which photo you were referring to but I guess this one?: 

This was a selfie using Zhar’s phone on my 18th birthday. Back then, I was still in CSSP making my dad’s dream come true. That was 6 years ago. 

Come to think of it, I actually started noticing you 3 years after that, since you were using this profile photo: 

I recall this very well (haha) so far your best! We never met (I think?)  but we always engage online. I remember there were instances where you reply to my tweets (and most of the time, I just ignore, i’m sorry haha). 

Years went on, and we continue to live our lives, do our own thing while seeing each other online every now and then. My life went up in smokes, tried to push through, swivelled my plans around and zoom-in to 2018 -  we started having actual conversations, aside from your usual facebook messenger birthday greetings (haha). Instagram is your platform talaga - I digress. 

I figured back then that it wasn’t our time- we were in a transition period (work and you looking for work), I was in a difficult situation with Purefoods and we were both seeing someone else. As they say, it all boils down to timing - being at the right place at the right time. I remember messaging you twice when we have bumped into each other - funny how we had those almost moments and before we eventually met.

Come 2019, you’ve met me at the most complicated time. We went on a bad start - and I blame myself on that. I was sure that I want to spend most of my time with you, travel with you and do things for you. From all of these, it’s not enough to admit my mistakes- but I needed to reflect on them and identify where I always make the wrong turns.  

It kills me thinking how much I miss you- how I long for you. You’re always on my mind, before I sleep and right after I open my eyes in the morning. It feels empty and painful. 

- I miss your good mornings and goodnight kisses, the songs you play while we’re at your room. 

-I miss waking-up beside you, and seeing you get-up from bed to turn-on the lights. 

- I miss how we tear papers to avoid bad luck since we were laughing so hard on petty phrases, those random chicago moments that went on for days. 

- I miss how I joke around breaking your ribs. I miss how you’re amazed with my nipples (haha)

- I miss how you giggle and shake your leg when I slowly kiss your neck and nape, I miss how passionately you kiss mine. 

-I miss feeling the warmth of your skin and how I stare at you while you are sleeping, how you recklessly wake me up to shower so we can make it to BGC on time.

- I miss closing the windows before we turn on the AC every time we get inside your room. And delaying dinner for more important things. 

-I miss seeing you at the office like you’re an actual employee. The way you line-up and get freebies. 

-I miss holding your hand on the way home inside the car. I miss crunching ourselves at the back and inside the motorcart (haha Im keeping the term)

-I miss the pouty kisses and the ostrich kisses. I miss how make crazy faces. 

-I miss holding your cheeks, and feeling your soft warm skin. 

-I miss holding you in my arms, hugging you tight. 

-I miss greeting your fish every single time. 

- I miss everything. 

We had bad days, but I hope you can still remember all the good days we had. All the liempo we shared, the hugs that I wish went on for days, the outrageous laughters and gibberish talks.  

I’m sorry how I acted the last time we talked- I was all emotional and was determined to have you back.  I forgot how I needed to listen to you. Know that I respect your decision and I am aware of the pain that I have caused you. What I did was unimaginable, all the paranoia and anxiety - I should have taken care of you better. 

As I am writing this, I had some time to think and assess myself- why I did the things I did. 

1. Not being able to let go of my ex and not giving us a proper chance. 

- I have talked to some friends and I tried figure out with them my issues. I needed to sit-down with them, I also needed to figure things out on my own. Back in 2016, my breakup with Ken was a disaster. I hit rock bottom since it was the same time I lost my lola. The pain of losing people and being left behind consumed me for so long - and I realised that’s the reason I was the kind of person who can’t break-up with someone even though the relationship was a flower already withered long time ago. 

a. I cannot imagine causing the same pain I experienced before. I know the feeling of being cheated on, being left behind. I was so weak that I dragged the issue for so long - I have given him false hopes and kept things uncertain because I was a coward. I cannot bare to stand on my decisions- and our relationship suffered because of me being weak. 

I want to apologise on the way you thought that you were not enough for me. You are enough, not only for me- but for other people as well. I’m sorry for being confused- this time I’ll love you much better. 

b. You were right, that I was afraid to be alone. I thought I was able to overcome this back in 2017 - but no, it still scares me to the bones how I can go on without someone as my kakampi. I guess it roots from my relationship with my family, I seek rescue whenever I feel like my family is dropping me mid-air. We learned it the hard way, all of my siblings. We can only rely on ourselves at times- I was raised to be independent but I am still afraid most of the time. I have been looking after myself and I always wish someone would also look after me. 

During the week of our break-up, I tried to keep it to myself. I wanted to shut everyone off. Eventually, I was able to talk to some of my trusted friends. Allison has no clue since I don’t want her to be in an awkward situation with you- but she knows I’m going through something. I talked about what happened, on the cheating, on the lies and everything in between.

I really fucked up, and caused you so much pain. I’m sorry for throwing tantrums and being so selfish. Sorry, naging madamot ako sa pagintindi na kailangan mo rin hanapin yung Jeff na nawala nung minahal mo ako that I also needed to step back and pull back the Roj you loved. 

You are right, you deserve better - that’s why I wanted to be a better version of myself. Not only for you but I also want to give myself a chance to prove that I can. I want to be a better son, a better friend, a better brother to all of the people I hold dear.

That for this time around, I can confront myself and settle my issues once and for all. I have lost myself in the process, not only that I disappointed you- but everyone who believed in me. I disappointed my lola on how I acted, this isn’t the way I was raised. 

I want to find myself again- to find my centre. To understand the things that I want, the things I don’t want to become and the things about myself that I want to retain. My friends told me during our talks that I should list down 1/ the things that I like about myself, 2/ the things that I think I should change, 3/ the things that I want to develop. I am excited for all the possibilities, it never was about finding someone to love- but being able to find myself as a person. 

For the next days, weeks- I want to focus on knowing myself. I want to be able to keep how passionate I am on things, build my career, go back to being fit, eat clean and strengthen my relationship with friends, family and God. I want to be able to be honest with myself, accept and understand my mistakes and be firm on my decisions as an adult. I want to meet my friends more often, spend more time at gym, rebuild my relationship with God and with my family. I want to be that person. 

I know this relationship was painful- and you need time to heal. Para makalimutan natin lahat ng sakit at maalala lahat ng maganda at mabuti sa atin. You have no idea how much I wanted to tell you na ‘Umuwi na tayo, kumain at matulog na magkayakap’. But I know that you need time to heal, and while you are doing that, I will be focusing on being the renewed version of the person you have met before. The person who will be able to give you the right kind of love, the person you’ll be able to trust your life with. Figured I am not getting any younger and I need to figure these things out. I’m uncertain if you ever want to see me again, but I’d want to write you letters every week to check on you- you don’t have to respond. Alam ko suntok sa buwan, but know that I love you so much. I want to be able to transform this love and  change my life. That’s when I realised that you are the one for me- I was so determined to be a better person. So when the time comes, if ever you’ll be in my arms again, I want to give you the man whose able to take care of your heart and soul. Kapag dumating na yun, kaya na kitang mahalin ng buong-buo- na walang pagaalinlangan.  That time, I’ll be strong and I will stay and maybe book you tickets to Chicago in the future :) 

Will always love you, right now from afar. 

Rojuboy

[wearethewalkingdeadimagines]

Babysitting - Ron Anderson

Request: Hey could you write a Ron imagine were you two are best friends and you like each other and when he wees you take care of Sam he get's the courage to tell you how he feels Warnings: fluff, minimal swearing A/N: thanks for requesting anon :) p.s: I probably won't edit this but I hope this isn't just gibberish, im also hella sick so sorry if this sucks --

Additional A/N: i couldnt find anymore ron anderson gifs for some reason so im probs just gonna start using Ben Starling ones too.

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You had been asked to babysit Sam Anderson while Jessie Anderson did some work with some other residents in Alexandria. You didn't mind much, as much as Ron would complain about how much Sam was annoying, you didn't think that he was even that annoying one bit. The kid had grown on you, but what you wouldn't admit to yourself is that his older brother had grown on you too.  It was a crush nonetheless, in the midst of this whole apocalypse you had formed a crush on the older Anderson boy. He was nice to you, funny, and he never failed to make you smile when you thought about how the world went to shit.  You walked up the porch of the Anderson house, your hand reached up and knocked on the door three times. After about thirty seconds, you heard the lock come undone and you were standing face to face with Ron.  "Hey, my mom already had to leave. She said that I could watch Sammy for a couple minutes before you came," he laughed softly -and you could have sworn that you saw a light blush tinge his cheeks before he turned and let you inside the house.  Silently, you closed the door to the house, turning the lock before walking behind the older Anderson to the living room. There sat Sam, who was playing with some kind of toy car that one of the adults must have gotten him. He looked pretty encased in whatever he was thinking because he didn't notice you walk in until Ron patting him on the head and told him to look up. "Y/N!" Sam screamed softly as he ditched his toy cars and ran up to give you a hug, his arms wrapping around your torso.  "Hey Sammy. See? I promised I would babysit you again. I know how much you don't like to be home alone with Ron," you looked up at Ron as you spoke, he had a fake pout on his features.  The way that Ron was looking at you and Sam almost made you want to melt on the spot. He had a slight smile on his face full of adoration, his eyes were lightened up, and he looked to be just downright happy with the sight that he was seeing.  But it wasn't any different. Sure, Sam would hug you from time to time, you loved taking care of the kid, but maybe it was just because Ron wasn't around to see you take care of Sam.  "Y/N? I'm hungry. Can you make me macaroni and cheese?" It was an odd question, you didn't know that they had macaroni and cheese. "They just gave us some, and I really want it please?"  Nodding, you set off to the kitchen, hearing some footsteps behind you which you thought were Sam's, but when you turned around Ron was standing behind you.  "I was just gonna tell you where they were," Ron said, brushing past you and going in one of the many cupboards and taking out a box of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. He handed it to you, his hand brushing up against yours.  Both your cheeks lit up like a Christmas tree, his hand moving back away from yours as if yours had sent him an electric shock. Your hand just kind of stayed there as you looked at him in the eyes. There was a longing sense between you, some kind of tension that you had never felt before. Maybe this was a sign that Ron liked you too, or maybe the tension was all you, you were just making it up and Ron was in the middle of it all. What could you say? Ron was your best friend, he had been since you had came to Alexandria. You two did everything together, but it wasn't until now that you felt some tension between the two of you. It felt like tension that had been there for a long time.  His eyes slowly trailed down to your lips, you wouldn't have noticed unless he had moved closer to you. His eyes just stayed on your lips, his brown eyes got bigger almost.  But you needed to get the macaroni in first, you didn't want Sam to be in the middle of this tension. That’s the last thing you needed, the little 12 year old making it more awkward between you and Ron. "Excuse me I need to get one of the pans," you mumbled. He moved away but you kept on looking at him with some kind of adoration and care. Then you moved, reaching down and getting a pan before putting it under the sink. Once the water was in, you set it on one of the burners and turned it on high. Slowly, you turned back around and got the box of the pasta, tearing the top seal off and dumping the pasta into the water.  You turned around and looked at Ron, walking forward so that you could feel his breath on your face.  "You know, I saw how you were treating Sam and I couldn't stop thinking about how much I want to be with you." Ron had said the thing that you had been thinking since well, forever.  "Best friends don't say stuff like that to each other Ron." "Well what if I want to be more than best friends?" "What if I lose you? What if I start falling for you more and then you die?" Ron walked over so that your chests were pressing up against each other's and his hands went to your waist.  "Don't think like that Y/N."  His lips went down to meet yours, you couldn't help but lean up so they met halfway. Your lips worked with each other's until you two were sent apart with your bodies yelling at you to get air.  "Does this mean that you like me too?" You asked quietly. He looked down and laughed.  "It wasn't obvious at all that I've fallen in love with you Y/N?" He asked. "No, it wasn't. But at least you don't have to hide it anymore."  He pulled you in for a hug, his lips on top of your forehead as he sucked in your sweet scent.  "I've been wanting to tell you for a while. But yeah, at least I don't have to hide it anymore. But before you decide to kiss me again, you should check on the macaroni, I think it's starting to boil over." Indeed, you could hear the bubbling of the water about to boil over the edges of the pan. "Shit," you mumbled as you took a spoon and started to stir the pasta, taking down the heat of the boiler so that it wouldn't try to boil over again.  You heard running footsteps coming into the kitchen, and you knew that Sam came in to check on the pasta. 

"Y/N? Why does Ron look redder than a tomato?" Sam asked, sending you into a laughing fit, looking at Ron who got even redder by the minute. All was good.

[shirina-kalila-blog]

Have you ever wanted...

To just grab a bat and smash your face in so hard that you couldn't recognize the face the next day?... To just lock yourself in your room for days, no food, no human contact, just you and your broken mind repeating the same stupid gibberish every day?.... To jusy follow the voices in your head...to just let them lead you towards the inescapable pit of death?... I do, I've wanted that for so long but for some reason im still here... After everything, after every single FUCKING attempt im still here! Going through the same FUCKING cycle, over and over and over again! I wanna change, i don't wanna be me anymore! I can't find myself like i used to! Every smile is a forced one! Every gesture i make, if its with my body or my face, whether its good or bad its just torture to me! My body aches, my mind hurts! No matter how much i cry, how much i scream! Nothing comes out! Not a word! I feel like i can't even draw breath! I am just suffocating! I feel so alone.... Im tired of all the hate, all the lies, all the betrayals....if someone wants to kill me whats stopping them?! I am wide open! JUST FUCKING END IT! PLEASE!!! IF THERE IS A GOD THEN WHY HAS HE CONDEMNED ME INTO A LIFE FULL OF HATE, LIES, RAPE?! IF THERE IS ONE I JUST WANT A LIGHTNING BOLT TO JUST HIT ME IN THE HEAD!.... I can't understand myself anymore....its funny...i have no idea why im even writong this here but....i guess there's always a chance someone will actually read this but i doubt it...im just a porn dispenser....a joke machine....if someone actually reads this....i guess all i can say is thank you...thank you for at least hearing my cry.... It means a lot...I'll be up tomorrow and I'll probably be alright again....I'll be reposting or maybe posting or whatever...im sorry to everyone for wasting your time....please, enjoy the rest of your day and if you have the will to smile, don't loose it.... I know you are just hearing this from a random person but please.... If you are one of those who is always happy then im glad for you, keep going at it and you'll reach the stars!.. Don't let yourself be pushed down like i am...its not a good feeling and it'll be really hard to recover so just don't lose it, I love you all...