#im sorry if u followed me for a completely different fandom im trying to post a little bit of everything | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

franeridart · 4 years ago

Text

Anon said: i dont know what blue lock is but that art you just posted is making me interested lol

AHHHHH please getting people interested in it is all my life is about lately hahahaha it’s a sports manga about soccer! Kind of!! Definitely has all the good sides of sports manga, but it’s also different enough from the usual sports manga that I know people who aren’t huge sports manga fan who loved every second of it, please do give it a try if you find yourself with the time for it! It’s such a cool manga!!!

Anon said: I don't even like BNHA anymore, haven't for more than a year, but your blog still has me shipping the characters somehow. I live for your KiriBaku content (and your KamiJirou stuff, when you post it!)

Gosh, I’m glad I can make you like them still!! It’s such a compliment, honestly ;A; <3

Anon said: so i was looking through your art and stuff and was wondering "hey i wonder if theyve ever drawn voltron stuff" and tbh, i didnt expect you to have

To be fair, if you checked it means that at least a little you thought it was possible lol I haven’t watched anything past s1 of it though, so the chances of me ever picking it up again are less than zero

Anon said: You... are one of the loves of my life... and also the main reason I check tumblr everyday lol.

Anon!!! You’re gonna make me blush here!!!!! ;;;; thank you so much!

Anon said: i started reading bluelock because of u and now im obsessed soooo,,,,, thanks!❤️😭

SO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT!!!!!

Anon said: Hii, do you have a Spotify account? If you do, can you share it? I really like the songs u use on your arts, and I would love to see your Playlists Sorry if it's already on your FAQ, I didn't find it And sorry for my bad English ps. I LOVE YOUR KIRIBAKU ARTS THANK YOU

I don’t! I listen to all my music from youtube, because I’m that kind of person lmao happy to hear we share music tastes, though! And thank you so much!!! <3

Anon said: What's your favorite arc of ToG both story wise and art wise?

SCREAMS I don’t know!!!! I’ve been thinking about this ask since getting it I have genuinely zero clue I love all arcs so much for so many different reasons!!!!! The first that comes to mind when I think about it is the workshop battle arc, because I love Viole with everything I have and the whole arc (plus the build up to it too!!) hurts in the most wonderful way, but then I keep thinking about it and I realize there’s so many character I live for that don’t appear in it - I love the floor of death arc SO MUCH cause for one, there’s nearly all my favorite characters in it, and also because it’s such a good, dynamic arc?? everything that happens is so much fun and interesting?? also Hockney is there, and Urek is there, and Garam is there, and the Hell Train gang is all there, so!! AH and the hell train as a whole is so damn good (the dallar show???? my whole soul rests in there, Khun’s trust in Bam!! the coin flip with rachel!! Bam’s whole everything!!!!!!!! GAH) but my fav part of it has to be the hidden floor?? because!!!!!! it’s perfect from start to end, everyone in it is wonderful, Bam’s growth in it!!! GODS! My favorite scene in the whole webtoon is in the hidden floor arc, it’s how much I love it - THEN THERE’S YAMA and the whole arc there is so so SO good too, and the latest arc!! how good is the latest arc!!!!!

so yeah I can’t pick - art wise I think it goes without saying that SIU’s art has only gotten better, so the closest to the newest update you go the more I like the art.... though, my favorite Bam is still the short haired one from the Hell Train arc haha

Anon said: Oh, wow, how stupid of me. Like 2 months ago, I sent you a message telling you how much I loved your work... and I didn’t see it on your page, or anywhere else. Finally today, I discovered I had an inbox where you answered me... 🤦‍♀️... I still love your work, by the way...

AHHH yeah I always answer off-anon asks privately! And thank you so much for still liking my things!!

Anon said: Have you read the last haikyuu chapter? How did you feel about it?

I’ve reread it at least twenty times and then I went and reread the whole of the last game again and it’s been three weeks and I’m still thinking about it more or less constantly and feeling giddy happy about everything that manga has ended up being, genuinely one of the best manga I’ve ever had the pleasure of following till the very end - that’s how I feel about it <3

Anon said: I really like looking at your art it’s so therapeutic it’s wonderful please keep drawing I want to support you on Kofi and patreon and yet I am broke please just know I love u very much ok bye

Ahhhh it’s okay anon! I try to keep as little completely unavailable for my followers as I can, and I’ll do my best to keep drawing! Can’t promise the fandoms will always be stuff you care about though haha

Anon said: This is my FAVORITE art blog. Is blog even a word that ppl use anymore?? Idk but anyways your kiribaku gives me life and cures my depression so ily and thank u

I’m so so happy to hear that! Thank you so much!!! TTATT <3

Anon said: just now realizing your oc looks like the human version of kamakiri

To be fair the only thing they have in common is the green mohawk, but I get where you’re coming from! I was very happy when Kamakiri’s official colors came out exactly cause he makes me think about my boy, after all xD my love for Kamakiri is definitely biased, in that sense haha

Anon said: Just wanted to let u know im very gay for ur oc giulia that is all thanks

Anon I’m gonna cry I’m so glad you like her!!!!!!!!!! She’s one of my oldest OCs out of that group, it’s always so thrilling to know people like her ;A; <3

Anon said: I really like how you draw kirishima’s hair

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!! I have a lot of fun with it, though it does mean it ends up being kinda off canon more often than not haha

Anon said: hi! just a random question but how’d you come up with your name?

Fran is my name! Erid comes from Eridan from homestuck! Art is what I try to do! And that’s the incredibly interesting story behind my screen name haha

Anon said: Heya, so i sent the ask about the person who i suspect either heavily referenced or traced your art (i sent another ask about this tho im not sure if it went through) anyway, it was posted by ****************** you'll know it when you see it i think

Ahhhhhh sorry for how long this took me to answer, I went to check and it’s!!! fine, I mean, would have preferred if they had credited but I don’t think it was completely traced so I don’t mind too much, I used to copy art of people I liked too back when I was first starting, after all haha

#fran answers #many chattering tonight #anyway yes please do go check blue lock out I assure everyone it's a cool af manga #long post #also spoilers for tog in one of the answers #i went off there hahaha

227 notes · View notes

wri0thesley · 4 years ago

Text

many many anons under the cut bc i didn’t want anyone to feel like i was ignoring them and i wanted to respond to u all! warning for small text too, it was so long i wanted to make it look smaller fgbnjkgkjn

Anonymous asked: NAT... you can write WHATEVER you want! It's your blog, and I hope that rude anons can learn to respect that. I used to be on your blog just for jjba content too, so when you started getting into jjk I was indifferent but eventually you dragged me into jjk so hard!! I already like bnha, so seeing you write for it only made me happier! I hope that you continue to write whatever make YOU happy:) ❤and yes, longer fics certainly doesnt mean it's better, quality over quantity

ahh i’m happy that you are here for all three!! i always feel so accomplished when someone is like ‘your constant screaming made me think about jjk <3′. all three of the fandoms are fairly popular and i tag everything v carefully so i hope people who do use the filtering find that useful!!!

Anonymous asked: Goodness gracious. People really be out there thinking they're entitled to dictating what kind of content you should be making

i think part of it might be that i do take requests so people feel like they have like . . . a certain right to certain kinds of my content? i take requests mostly bc they keep me motivated, i like making content for ppl who cant find what they want bc i’ve Been There, but maybe people think i am a pushover? idk i am just trying to have a good time!!!

Anonymous asked: Hi. I only started following you a few days ago but please ignore that rude anon. People are so fucking entitled towards writers it's insane. I recently had someone throw a fit for "spoiling" something in my fanfic, even though the fic was about a manga-exclusive character, so what did they expect?? Overall I've really enjoyed your writing so random assholes coming to guilt you is just a shitty thing that happens. Keep going with what you wanna do.

ah gosh anon i’m sorry about that :(. i’m always super careful tagging spoilers and stuff but like, if someone clicks on a fic about say, naoya or the steel ball run boys and is mad that i spoil something they havent found out yet . . . yeah thats on them fgbnkjgfkjn

Anonymous asked: That...that anon had the nerve to say "we". The fuck?! No no no anon, YOU'RE the only one talking and you're just talking for yourself, don't you dare try and lump us other anons/followers up with you to make yourself look like you're right. We love you nat and we appreciate you. It's your blog, you're allowed to write about whoever and whatever. This brain dead anon just needs to either go read someone else if they're that salty or write their own stuff if they're that impatient.

gosh i WISH some of my mad anons would just write their own stuff honestly. idk if this anon thought they were talking for everybody but i guess they expected anons to agree with them and not be mad at them. i appreciate u anon ;_;

Anonymous asked: Just want to say that ily and you’re one of the best jojo fanfic writers in my opinion 💗 I don’t think you’re half assing jojo fics and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you being multi fandom. A lot of jojo blogs have started posting about jjk so it’s not as if you’re the only one. I’m not sure why you get hate like this but I think it’s just because you’re one of the popular writers and that makes people bitter for whatever reason. Keep being you and posting about the things that make you happy 💕

honestly after so long writing for jojo - i’ve written well over 200 jojo reader insert fics - sometimes it feels like i’m retreading stuff, and that’s when i take a break bc i dont wanna half-ass stuff!!! i love all of my fellow jojo friends who are posting about jjk too, i appreciate them <3.

Anonymous asked: Hey my dude, ur writing has really grown since the jojo days and its better and awesome seeing u become happier to branch off and write in different fandoms 🤌🤌 those stupid anons are just boring farts that couldnt be bothered making their own content 😤😤 is it possible to block them to ease ur mind?

hello anon!! i run a statcounter for IPs but it doesnt always work for ppl who access through the tumblr app, i don’t think; a lot of the anon hate i get i just use the ‘block’ option, but last night got to me because i’ve been getting that kind of writer a lot which is . . . a bad look for the jojo fandom who are, as a whole from the ones i’ve interacted with, lovely!!! <3

Anonymous asked: People often forget, the person behind art or writing, is just another regular fan. You deserve to be happy with what you create and we should be thankful you share your talent with us. You also have right to change your main interests, and it's very normal thing. Jojo is one of the MANY things that you write for and all you get from that is a like or share. Its not your job. It's your fun thing to do, in spare time. You haven't betrayed anybody. That person was just rude, selfish and bored.

i am just a person doing my best!!! anime fanfic is one of many interests i have and i already devote a lot of time to it honestly, i love when people tell me they’ve enjoyed something i made bc it makes it feel worthwhile but equally it gets to me a lot when people are rude because i am usually trying my hardest.

Anonymous asked: Bro that jjba anon... the entitlement🤮 Fam, you write whatever you want to write😤 -Saturday

dfnjbkjnkgf i find most fic readers are NOT entitled at all and are just grateful but when they are . . . oof.

Anonymous asked: It's funny how people throw "we got you popular" and they think you start apologize and cry. Your writing and passion made you gain few numbers on a follow counter, nothing more. I think I'm too old for stuff like this, we are nothing more, but +1 on a number scale. You ow us nothing, we ow you nothing. Popular... Funny word. You just write for fun of it, fake scenarios about someone's manga characters. It's not that deep. Have fun and don't listen to people like this. I knew it's not that easy, but they are really not that important as they think they are.

extremely fun fact for people who think ‘popularity’ is important to me: i would 100% rather have 10 people who regularly comment, reblog my fics with tags and interact with me than 100 people who read my fic and either leave a like or simply move on. i think this is true for the VAST MAJORITY of writers tbh. i’m glad that people think i am a ‘popular’ blog (i am not in the grand scheme of things, one of my ex-best friends used to run a kpop reader insert blog with like 30,000 followers) bc it gives me an ego boost lmao, but i really just want people to read and enjoy the stuff i write!!!

Anonymous asked: I followed you a while ago for jojo and when my friends started getting into jjk i was like...eh sounds like work...but now that I see you writing for it I feel really motivated to get into it!!! I really enjoy your writing and I want to be able to read the new stuff too!

ah anon i really hope you like it!!! it’s only one season rn if u wanna watch the anime and there isn’t too much of the manga to catch up on either but it is a lot of fun and it’s nice to be in a fandom that’s like, excited about a new chapter and new plot developments every week!

Anonymous asked: Pls dont reply if u dont want to! <3 I'm not sure if this will be of any help to you or not but this is the kind of thing that often helps me and is the only way I know to try comfort others so I wanted to give it a go~

Now im not gonna say 'dont feel bad pls' bc I know that's not really useful but what I do think is useful is just discussing why that anon and many others feel the need to respond that way. As someone who follows a lot of writing blogs myself and have done for a long time, i've seen my handful of favourite writers come and go for different reasons, lose motivation for a while, gain motivation for a while, go from multi to single fandom, or single fandom to multi. Often times as a reader it can be upsetting when things change but it's also important as a reader to understand that some things aren't in anyone's control, I can't control what my favourite writers become a fan of or lose interest of, I can't control things in their personal lives that may motivate or demotivate them to write, but what I can do is support them as long as they're active, and if they move on to do things i'm no longer interested in or i'm the one that changed interests, rather than being upset that they're evolving to do other things or that they're not evolving with me, I think it's important that I still feel thankful for the works that I enjoyed while we were still on the same page and this is how I personally deal with those negative feelings. I think the anons that lash out at you probably just dont know what to do with themselves, maybe they got attached to your works while you were still only a jjba blog and now that you're evolving they're upset, while I understand how they feel, they're going the completely wrong way about it. I've learned to take these things and turn them into something positive for myself or at least something bittersweet that I can move on from but the anons that lash out at you for whatever reason probably haven't learned this yet. Maybe it's because i've moved on and changed interests a lot myself that I know how these things go for both writers and readers but those anons maybe haven't experienced this as much so they dont know what to do with themselves other than complain that you've changed and throw insults at you in an attempt to get you to revert back. None of this is because of the quality of your writing like they want you to believe, it's literally just because you've evolved and while some of your old followers might not like the new content for no reason other than it not being their cup of tea, it's definitely not regressed at all. You are pumping out a lot of content right now but every single thing i've read has just been better than the last. Things that really stand out to me is how well you get characterisation down to a T and all of your dialogue is just on point and from the pov of a reader I think those things seem the hardest to get right so I am such a huge fan of your stuff at the moment and I can tell you're really putting so much thought and care into each and every fic no matter how fast you're producing it, I think the fact that you're also proud of what you're writing at the moment really shines through as well and I just adore the passion that radiates from every completed request as well as in the responses for the subsequent thirsts resulting from these works that appear in your ask box later (I know i've sent quite a few by now~)

Just to be clear i'm not defending those anons in any way, while I can understand what they might be feeling/why they're reacting in the way they are I still believe it's just so immature to be hateful online point blank. Even during a time where I still got upset with writers if they started doing something else I still never targeted that negativity directly to the writer and sending rude or hateful comments whether on anon or not never something i'd stooped low enough to do even when I still had an immature way of thinking, however, I hope that it might make it a little easier to brush them off if we try and understand what they're really upset about, and that they're just putting the blame for their negative feelings onto the wrong thing rather than coming to terms with change themselves.

hello anon!! i appreciate the long message. i do feel bad for people who have no interest in what i’m currently producing and i get that they feel upset about it; i’ve watched a lot of fellow jojo writers move on completely or just stop posting, honestly. this kind of thing is why i was so intense about asking people if it would be better if i made a separate blog but the resounding answer seemed to be ‘i’m just vibing with whatever happens and i’ll block tags as needed’.

i often return to works by my favourite reader-insert writers who no longer write for the fandoms i like (and i read stuff bc it sounds interesting or i trust the person who writes it), but change can be difficult and i guess at this point i’ve - whether u like me or not lmao - been a fixture in jojo reader-insert tumblr for a While so it’s probably kind of jarring.

anyway i really appreciate you and the nice words! <3

Anonymous asked: hi nat! I just wanted to pop in and say that regardless of what fandom you write for, the love and care you pour into your writing and into interacting with followers who care about your work as well is really obvious. you're doing this for FREE and people should appreciate what you've given us so far, since ultimately this blog should be for you, whatever that means to you at any point in time. it's ok to jump fandoms! the important thing is that you feel good about what you're producing and that it makes you happy. everyone else is just a bonus - but, seeing you on my dash certainly makes me happy : ) I hope you feel better soon!

thank you anon! i’m feeling much better and happier today. birthdays are very difficult for me (i did not think i’d be alive at eighteen, much less 25!) so this event is definitely kind of a way for me to concentrate on something else, and i’m a little bit extra sensitive atm. i appreciate you so much, thank you for the kind words!!! <3

Anonymous asked: Hello! I just wanted to say, write what YOU want and make YOUR writings as long as you'd like. 💖 To the anon who is like "We mAdE yOu FaMoUs dOnt HalF asS iT" stfu, let people do what they wanna do. If you think they half do it, write something better and longer you asshat.

this is an open invitiation to that anon to send me a link to their writing blog and i’ll hype them up i promise <3

Anonymous asked: nat i'm so so sorry about that ask please know that your older followers don't share the same opinion :( sometimes people forget about the living, breathing person behind the screen smh. you are not a machine. you absolutely should not restrict yourself to posting about one fandom forever. yes, we're first pulled in by your amazing content, but we stay for your wonderful personality and work ethic. please just keep being you, taking up projects you feel comfy with! <333 bless u

ahh thank u anon! unfortunately i actually am a writing robot, i’m sorry u had to find out this way. my jojo chip has been removed, please send it back so i can continue to not half-ass my jojo work. fgnjkbgjkfn thank you so much angel!!! i appreciate you ;_;.

Anonymous asked: i don’t think it’s fair for other people to say shit about what you choose to write about because on tumblr and other writing platforms, writers are constantly developing how they write and the fandoms that they write for. it’s not fair for someone to criticize that “you don’t care about jjba blah blah blah” because you can enjoy new shows/manga. and like you said you’ve grown so much!! proud of you nat and im glad that ive been able to read your works (sincerely other nat)

i am STILL waiting for you to come and fight me other nat fgnjkbnf. it’s nice to be enjoying different things! i am constantly learning new things and reading new works and making new friends and improving and i think that’s important. i do care about jjba - a lot! but i can care about other things too! <3

Anonymous asked: I may not be one of your oldest followers, but i've been here for almost 3 years. Yes, i started following u for ur jojo content, but let me tell u, ur newfound motivation and enthusiam for other fandoms was honestly contagiuos for me. And i say this as a person who finds very difficult to move from one interest to another. Jojo is great, but so are other fandoms. Please don't let some faceless scum rob u that motivation. This is ur blog and u r always free to write whatever u want.

honestly, i have been there! i am autistic and i have special interests and watching other people move on to stuff i’m not vibing with has made me sad in the past, but i want people to be happy more than anything and sometimes that means new things and change! <3

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I saw that rude anon message & I just wanted to pop in & say that they're wrong. You're not betraying anyone & you should write whatever it is you want to write. I followed you for jojo & I'm not familiar with the other fandoms that you write for, but personally it makes me SO happy to see you enjoying new things! It's always good to find joy wherever you can, so keep writing what you're interested in. There a lot of ppl who want to see you happy and healthy <3

honestly the idea of it being a GRAND BETRAYAL is so funny, i am just writing anime fanfic here and thriving!!! tysm anon! <3

Anonymous asked: Those anons can piss off! They have no right to judge how long or how short your writing is. If they want longer content write it their damn selves. I think your writing has improved wonderfully and I originally followed for Jojo and I'm enjoying all the content period. I don't even watch jujutsu ( not my cup of tea personally) but I love seeing the creativity and the interactions. You write what makes you happy Nat and that's on that! You don't owe anybody anything! I know how hard writing is and when your consuming new content it's hard to make content for something else. That doesn't mean you don't like it any more your just doing something different for a while. Love you and your content and I'm enjoying the love your putting into your content whether long or short. ♥♥💕 Sending love your way!

honestly my idea of ‘short content’ is still over 1k words, i’m not good at reeling myself in! i guess it’s bc they see like, 1.5k jojo fic versus 5k jjk fic but it’s not that i didn’t enjoy the first fic, just that the point and the story came a lot quicker and so did the natural end! thank you anon, i appreciate you ;_;

Anonymous asked: Hello! Just wanted to let your know that I think your writing is awesome, and that you should write for whoever and for whatever you want to! You dont have to stay loyal to one fandom or anything, and your followers shouldn't expect that from you! It's not like they are paying you to write, you are doing this for free, and because you enjoy it and it makes you happy! If they dont like your stuff, they dont have to follow you, they can go to other blogs that cater to their taste, and they definitely don't need to be sending you such hurtful comments, and they dont get to make you feel sad about your writing! Just because they followed you during your earlier stages of writing, doesn't mean you owe them some type of loyalty or compensation! You can write literally whatever you want as long as it makes you happy! That's what your hobby and your blog are for! I hope you know that alot of your followers love your work and think that you are an amazing writer and are down to support the work that makes you happiest! 💖💖

ahh thank you so much anon!!! i am always so bowled over by how many people are nice to me when something like this happens, i am sending you my love <3

Anonymous asked: don’t listen to them!! we love you as a writer no matter what you write, because you’re a good person and a talented writer!! you shouldn’t have to change what you write to please a bitter person, and if they only want jjba, they can go to another blog instead of bringing you down. you’re doing amazing and they should be thankful you grace us with your talents!!

to be totally honest, if i was half-assing or not vibing with content i was making i just. wouldn’t post it. like you’d be able to TELL when i was half-assing stuff just to get words out (source: i have re-read my own nanowrimo works). there are lots of great jjba blogs who could do with more followers n interaction!!! i hope they do find them and i hope they’re nice to them :(.

Anonymous asked: Please don’t pay attention to that anon. People only have that confidence when they have anon turned on. Them looking through your blog despite feeling that way is peak fan behavior and speaks to how addicting your writing is. Naturally, you can’t please everyone and there will be people who are irrational and feel entitled to tell you what to do or what to write no matter what. Trust me when I say they’re a small minority and are more likely probably passing viewers rather than regulars. I check your blog about three or more times a day because I love reading not just your fics but also your takes, banter with other anons, or even random updates. Brainrot posts? LOVE TO SEE IT!!! Desk update? AMAZING!!! With that being said, don’t feel pressured to continue pushing out content for others. Write what makes you happy! You’ve been writing for JJBA for 4 years and it’s completely normal + healthy to get into new media. I’m not sure if it would mean much, but your love for JJK has gotten me excited to start it too!!

anon i really hope you enjoy it!!! sometimes these anons remember stuff i’ve posted and said better than i do tbh, i am living in their heads rent free i guess!

Anonymous asked: I've been following you for a couple of years and honestly it would always be a joy to see when you posted. Your writing has improved and I'm very happy you're enjoying yourself ! I know it hurts hearing and seeing stuff like that but I'm happy you're here. I'm honestly blessed everytime you post. Your writing is phenomenal. I love reading it even if its characters that I dont care for. You capture their essences so well and weave an amazing tale within the prompts and whatnot. You're amazing nat!

wehh thank you so much!!! re: the improvement, i really don’t feel like it has and then i re-read something i wrote when i first started and i’m like oh my god maybe it has. did i really write about jotaro acting like that.

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat. I recently became a follower of yours and I'm really saddened to see you get hate. You seem like a genuinely sweet person with amazing talent! I'm a writer myself and, unfortunately, get the same kind of comments. And when you get those comments, it doesn't leave you feeling motivated. People need to understand that people can and will, at times, grow out of fandoms. (1 Not just that but you're doing all of this for free. Again, I'm sorry you got such a comment. But please know that I'm proud of how far you've come. I'm proud that you're living a life that makes you happy. And no matter what fandom you may find yourself in next, I will always enjoy your writing. Take care of yourself. (2 end

HELLO NEW FOLLOWER I LOVE YOU (i get a lot more a day now than i used to and i feel guilty about not being able to look through so many blogs but i do try and follow back other writers for my fandoms!! ;_;). i’m sorry you get the same kind of comments! i’m always just happy to see people i like enjoying new things, even if i have no interest in it (hello to all of my mutuals who write for hunter x hunter and haikyuu, not interested but i’m sure you’re having a great time and i support you!!!).

Anonymous asked: I'm sure you're getting a barrage of supportive messages now (at least I hope so) but I figured I'd add my voice, because I'm a longtime follower. Your writing is, and always has been, wonderful. I've been so happy to see you and Haz get to a place that works for you both. Idk if it's obvious for everyone, but you seem like you're emotionally in a pretty good place most of the time these days, and it makes me really happy to see that. I followed years ago for JJBA content, but I stayed because regardless of what content you put out, I find your wit delightful. And I'll stick around even if you move fandoms entirely, because whatever content or editorializing you produce is going to be worth reading, regardless of what it's for.

ahh, anon!! thank you for sticking around so long, sorry if you’re old enough to have been around the vore and jorts and spider rohan fiascos! <3 i am definitely a lot more stable than i have been and - barring the Pandemic Related Mental Health Issues - happier! i’m glad that it’s noticeable! <3

Anonymous asked: It actually makes me mad how entitled some people are. Nat, you're not a content creating machine and those who expect you to be are not worth wasting a thought on. Your love for something is not measured in word counts and for you to write every day without getting burned out in the slightest you really must have a burning passion and huge dedication to your craft. If others decide to send hate then allow me to send admiration because I can feel your love and hard work in each post you make!

i try and write every day bc it’s super good for my little ocd/autistic brain to have routines and distract itself, so i’m glad other people can enjoy them because that makes me motivated to carry on! like, i write for myself mostly bc the content i want i sometimes get find, but filling requests and writing for other people also leaves me with happy warm fuzzies too! i appreciate you!! <3

Anonymous asked: If people only care about your writing for the jojo porn that’s on THEM, not you. Your writing was amazing when I followed about a year ago, and it’s only gotten better and will continue to get better! I think it really comes through when you enjoy what you’re writing and it adds a whole other layer of worth to it, because not only are you making free content but you LIKE that content and we can all gush about it together!!! More than just fans, I think you’ve created a community here and we don’t just stick around to read smut, I promise you that. -Reronon

i do miss having a discord community bc it was nice to talk to everyone in real time but it was hard work, i am glad that people feel like they can just come into my askbox and gush! i’m not very friendly in real life and people tend to think i am cold and stuck up so i work very hard to try and seem friendly and approachable online, which is much easier for me because i get to think and re-draft before i type! <3

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I’m sure you’re getting a lot of messages like this right now but I just wanted to say for what it’s worth that, as a person who originally followed you for jjba content and hasn’t watched/read any of the other series you’re currently writing for, I’m honestly still along for the ride. This is your blog and you’re allowed to do what you want with it and put out what content you feel like writing. Sometimes??? People acquire new interests??????? Shocking! I know absolutely nothing about jjk or bnha but out of curiosity still read some of your posts about them and even though I might not Get It, I still enjoy them because I think you’re a very talented writer! Honestly, as long as you’re still writing, I’m still down to clown, and whenever you take breaks (which are important!) I’ll still be waiting for your return or supporting and respecting your decision to stay away longer. Don’t let the entitled assholes get you down. Utilize YOUR blog and YOUR space however YOU choose. Your talent and kindness speak for themselves. Love you!!! ❤️❤️❤️

anon i care about you and i am so appreciative of you and everyone for sending me such nice messages! i am running out of ways to say it but it’s true, it really does mean a lot to me ;_; <3

#nat.txt

13 notes · View notes

disaster-bay-leaf · 4 years ago

Note

Ok so these were the cutest~ (ㆁωㆁ)

4, 6, 7, 9, 12, 19, 22, 23, 28, 33, 34, 46, 47, 52, 59, 60, 63, 66, 83, 87, 88, 93, 99

I kno I listed like....all of them lmao but feel free to answer whichever you want and ofc you can ask me in return Baybe ( ◜‿◝ )♡

uHUHUHUHU much content for me to answer, im happy bebe 💜💜💜✨

4 - how do you take your coffee/tea?

hm coffee either Very Black No Sugar (for the sleep deprived me) or iced latte three sugars and theres no in between

and as for tea its All Black Teas That Exist, cinnamon-flavoured especially (but basically all teas that come to mind when u think “autumn”), and rooibos!!! okay basically the only oke i dont like is any type of green tea (which is sad because they look cool but my tastebuds said ✨no✨)

6 - do you keep plants?

honestly id l o v e too because i love plants but,,, im kinda horrible at taking care of them though still way better than the majority of my family (research helps) so the only plant i own is kinda a small-palm-tree-looking thing in a bigass glass jar that i saved from my mother’s plant-destructing hands and its mostly doing well (the ends of its leaves are starting to be yellow tho and im worried:((( )

7 - do you name your plants?

yes!!! though the current one was named by my sister and its called “pickett” after fantastic beasts shsjjsj

9 - do you like singing/humming to yourself?

oh god oh dude you have n o idea

i have absolutely n o singing voice but its something i do constantly to give my brain the right amount of stimuli so basically i listen to music 24/7 and hum to myself 99% of that time

12 - whats your favourite planet?

oh i actually didnt think about this for so long but either pluto (hes a planet screw nasa) or saturn (RINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) or venus (girls,,,and libra,,,)

19 - do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw in it?

okay im gonna be completely honest with yall and say that my every single try at keeping a journal failed spectacularly and i lost motivation after like a few months so my only journals rn are my fancy fake-leather-bound calendar to note tests and assessments into, a kinda roughed up notebook that i uses for noting down poems or scribbling or passing notes in class, and a kinda fancy bullet journal notebook that i used as a book of shadows for a while but since my fountain pen died i didnt touch it

22 - are you a morning person?

n o

i am so not a morning person but i wish i could be because honestly dawns are beautiful

but as it is rn im either sleep deprived all the time and loathe every second of being in an awake state or (if i have a few days of schoolbreak) my biological clock moves forward a few hours and i sleep 2am-10am

23 - whats your favourite thing to do on lazy days with zero obligations?

except for the fact that i dont remember the last time it happened, i would probably spend it drawing outside, watching anime with my sister and riding a bike around the forest

28 - sunrise or sunset?

i love sunrises because its so peaceful and everyone is asleep but also i subconsciously immediately correlate them with waiting for a train to take me to school (because thats basically the only time i see them) so its a bittersweet love especially with my fucked up biological clock

but sunsets are really really pretty too and i see them more often so i cant choose

33 - whats your fave pastry?

and isnt that a millior-dollar question dhsjjsjsj

either cinnamon rolls (i absolutely adore them) or that one specific type of cupcake-shaped-thing made out of shortcrust/bread/whatever its called and filled with vanilla pudding

34 - tell us about a stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

awwww this is cute

okay so basically my two favourite stuffed animals (i still have them, they sit in my wardrobe) were two teddy bears (like maybe 20cm high each of them) and one was pure brown and the other was silver-brown and they had stereotypical polish male names “Waldek” (read. Valdek) and Stefan (i think tho im not sure if i remember correctly, my memory is a feeble thing sometimes

46 - tell us the worst pun you can think of

what dog would never bite you? a hot dog *badumtss*

47 - what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

huh a year ago id say pineapple pizza but i guess i dont hate pineapples that much anymore (tho putting them on pizza is still an abomination) but i think that if id ever want to get rid of anything it would be parsley, i hate that freakin herb (does it count as food tho)

52 - what are your favourite memes of the year so far?

the ever given for sure shsjshjsjsjsjjsj

but bullying tramp stamps is gold and pure tumblr energy too

as for fandom memes: im in love with all keeping-up-with-the-todorokis variations and the fact that the entire bsd fandom looked at fukuchi and said “biTCH” and thats one of the only things we’re unanimous about

59 - whats your favourite myth?

i always liked the kora/persephone myth (though demeter is an overbearing parent to the nth power), loki and thor crossdressing at a party to get mjolnir back, atalanta because shes a queen and id politely ask her to kick my ass, and cassandra because she deserved better, and theres a l o t more because alas i was a mythology nerd but this post is long enough for me not to make this section 20 times longer sjjsjsjsjsjks

but there are a lot of slavic myths that are very cool too, though we dont know that much about them as about the greeks for example

60 - do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

o o o o h yeah i do like poetry because to create such a beautifully sounding thing with only words someone has to be a genius

some of my favs are: some works of nakahara chuuya (thank u bsd for introducing me to this man’s beautiful imagery in his works i swear to god the descriptions do it for me) (also his poem about having hangovers is a mood like i feel you buddy), the raven by ea poe (i know everyone likes it but hOLY DAMN THE INTER/INTRAVERSE RHYMES ARE LIKE,,, BREATHTAKING) (and aso im a slut for gothic horror), and many more but also That One Poem From Welcome To Nightvale about reaching the island in the west,,, only perfect vibes from it

63 - are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organised or kinda leave them be?

okay heres the thing. for anyone else both my playlist library and my bookshelf would be considered pure chaos of a mad man b u t they actually have a highly focused system which means that i sort them based on their vibes, lovability and (in case of books) their age and whether or not theyre a part of a series so i would say my bookshelf is rather organised (when a quarter of it isnt occupying my desk that is) and my music is more organised than not but sometimes it gets out of control and i have to sort it entirely again

66 - what would your ideal flower crown look like?

either entirely constructed of simple white daisies, entirely constructed of only white roses, or something that probably would win a “how many different coloured flowers can one fit in a flower crown” competition

or something purple (maybe not belladonna)

83 - whats some of your favourite album art?

god i dont know if it counts but hozier’s wasteland baby is probably one of my absolute favourites and no one shall beat that

“thrifted youth” (dalynn) and “standard deviation” (danny schmidt) have very aesthetic covers too

also the iconic p!atd too weird to live, too rare to die! album cover,,, its just iconic what can i say

and last but not least matt meason’s pink-and-black album covers (though bank on the funeral is really pretty too but like,,, “who killed matt meason” d o e s it for me and so does the 2017 tribulation single)

87 - what are some movies that you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

this is such a hard question because im not a really cinematography-oriented gal but i suppose that (at the risk of not going deep enough into the cinema world):

- the princess bride

- inception

- night at the museum

- SPIRITED AWAY

- forrest gump

- truman show

- E.T. (i cried okay)

- the lord of the rings (because damn me if this isnt one impressive adaptation)

- parasite

and one more personal recommendation: “ready or not” with samara weaving because goddamn i dont usually watch this genre but holy s h i t is it good

93 - whats the hairstyle you wear the most?

honestly just plain hair down (because having curly hair is a menace), split in the middle when i have longer hair and split on one side when its short

also low ponytails or half-up-half-down when im exercising, or double french braids when my hair doesnt cooperate enough to look presentable in any other form

99 - list some songs that resonate with your soul whenever you hear them

this is difficult because my music taste is a goddamn rollercoaster on a good day, but heres some:

- me and the sky from “come from away” musical (this is sort of a test song for my mental stability, if i cry i aint stable)

- dancing after death by matt meason (okay most songs by matt meason except for like,,, hallucinogenics maybe)

- tears and rain by james blunt

- i will follow you into the dark by death cab for cutie

- almost home by mxmtoon

- anything by hozier really but shrike especially

- payphone, the cover by alex g (i cried to this song so many times)

- burning pile by mother mother (can i roast all my problems please)

- long way from home and cleopatra by the lumineers

- autoclave by the mountain goats

oooh that was c o o o o o o o l as fuck thank you sm so much bebe (and sorry for the long post @everyone else)

#smadhuman being pure af #bay answers #long post #very long post #ask #asks

4 notes · View notes

hshouse · 4 years ago

Note

heyyy, how are you? im sorry for the rant and hope u don't mind, i really need to talk about this, just get it out of my chest, yk? so, i started to follow you yesterday, i think so? so, i've been here in the fandom for a couple years, since 2013 to be specific but just went really into larry in 2015 (what a blessed year to became a larrie, innit?)

then, i stayed here until early 2017 when i took a break, lost hs1 era and all that came with it, even lost harry coming to my country, that's how much i was far from the fandom lol.

i came back in september/october 2019, and then, as you can see, i lost a lot of drama on the fandom and got so so confused to get into everything again but okay, i searched and saw everything happened during these years. im kinda ashamed to assume but lol i even had a weak crisis because of hamille, thought they broke up and stuff. (like cmon girl, i went through babygate and was weak for that? 😭) in my defense, i wasn't on tumblr so much so my source was twitter when i came back and there is a hell as everybody knows, but yeah. nowadays i'm okay about everything but i'm feeling a litte bad today. (if u can like, idk, hide this part if u post the ask, i don't want some people to know who i am lol). my friend received some asks about harry×rob stringer and okay, i went to reply it for her because she was busy and stuff. i full well know they have a professional relationship and harry's one of the biggest artists sony has nowadays, so i said this, explained that he isn't the evil that rads try to make him look like and i really believe that. that probably will seems contradictory since i defended him and now i'm like 🤯 about some things. anyways, idk, it just makes me uncomfortable, yk? i know he works under sony and they are independent artists, that harry is making a lot of money for sony/rob know and that's why rob will move the world to promote harry if needed but like, idk, i completley agree that louis would never ask harry to give up his dreams and work, and that he knows how to separate things but it's just weird to me that harry doesn't seems uh? idk the right word to say but like, he's not bothered at all about this while rob is putting so much for him and louis was being sabotaged by the same person, yk? i get now we don't even know if he still under sony since syco is dead but yeah, it's just weird to me... i think part of this feeling i have rn is just because of some gross comments i saw from antis today on twitter and that makes me feel bad, normally i really don't care and imlike bulletproof about them but today it's hitting me (as if it isn't enough, im also brazilian and i think you saw about this guy named fiuk, don't care about this at all lol, but the antis comments started bc of what he said 😂 honestly...)

i choose to send it for you bc i saw you are more on harry's lane although you are also a larrie, and im kinda identify with you because of that so i would like to know how you think about this whole situation and if that maybe can help me to organize my thoughts... im really sorry about this lonnnng text, hope u have a nice day.

hi bby,

I’m good and yes 2015 was iconique. (gonna try to address everything you said)

I personally found Hamille harder to deal than other stunts, I feel you.

Let’s get our ducks in a row first.

Rob Stringer is not involved in Harry, or anyone’s, promo. That is not his job at all. He is the CEO of a huge company, he is most likely in meetings making sure Sony has money and the shareholders are happy. What I said, and I absolutely fucking maintain, is that Stringer knows Harry is one of the biggest artists on his catalogue and is going to make sure he is treated well and receives what he wants (within reason).

Harry and Louis are completely different artists and there is a very limited way they can interact business-wise in the way people want it. A label will not, and an ethical artist would never ask, please one artist by giving help to an artist they personally are not working with. They are not even on the same label so it would be like “hey can you give my boyfriend a multi-million dollar deal? can you fit that in the budget?”. He is not asking for a signed vinyl from Miley for his cousin, this is a big deal. I don’t really understand what soap opera moment people expect to happen in the background? Any couple that has millions on the line in their job works to make sure their finances and opportunities and everything is separate. This is not weird? A husband lawyer will not quit because his wife was fired from the firm? That’s not like spicy.

I’m fairly confident Louis is still under Sony, since changing majors is a huge thing and I doubt Sony would be willing to just give him away and not negotiate further. He probably got a better deal in another Sony label.

I will say this. Out of all the reasons to not believe in Larry this is a dumb fucking one. It’s business AND we have no idea about what is actually happening. At all. So like to again make all these jumps just to say Larry isn’t real? There way less messy ways if that is your end goal yk.

Also I want to say that I understand, feel and agree with the frustration over Louis’ career. I don’t think anyone doesn’t? Just because I don’t subscribe to this one narrative it does NOT mean I am suddenly thinking he has the best team and promo and everything is rosy and perfect. I just don’t think this is the story and I think it is way more complicated than we even think.

#Anonymous

3 notes · View notes

lavellane · 6 years ago

Text

DRAGON AGE QUESTIONS

tagged by: @nordxz thanks so much !!! *heart emoji*

favourite game of the series?

origins! although inquisition is very close as well. inquisition was my favourite for a very time, but like midway through last year i replayed origins and it just felt.....so good. i really struggled with enjoying dao because of the clunky fighting system but an amazing mutual introduced me to a mod that lets u skip fights basically lol, so i was just able to focus on the story/characters/exploration of the game, which just....made me realize how immensely beautiful the game actually is, and i fell in love all over again aaaaa

how did you discover dragon age?

i was a huge mass effect fan ! mass effect was the game that motivated me to make this blog, actually, and obviously through following people i saw a lot of posts from the da community as well. so i bought origins and inquisition (i had NO idea there was a da2 until half way through awakening lmao) and tried to play origins but HATED it gtrhutgrhugtr and then eventually gave it another try like a month later and completely loved it and now here we are

how many times you’ve played the games?

not as many times as some people on here have - i would say origins maybe four times, da2 maybe twice, inquisition three times. but that also doesnt count all the timesw ive created new games and then abandoned them lol bc theres too many to count

favourite race to play as?

love me some elf booty ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

favourite class?

at first it was rogue dual wielder ! i played as a rogue in every single first-time playthrough and idk i felt that class has always been the easiest/most op. but in the last maybe 2 years it’s changed to mage. ive always been super intimidated by magic classes in every game i play but i LOVE inquisition’s mage classes/specializations and i can never go back now

do you play through the games differently or do you make the same decisions each time?

im so so so bad and i usually end up making very similar choices, but usually bc i just......replay the same characters every time hgtuhgtruhgtrui. i REALLY need to make more da ocs to explore more choices but....i dont want to lol i already have to many. i still havent sided with the templars in a playthrough like i just cant do it

go-to adventuring group?

i always bring my characters love interest with them no matter what, just bc its cute, but usually i try to evenly cycle the other characters around that. i always try to have a warrior/rogue/mage in every party. but sometimes i’ll go warrior/warrior/mage/mage especially if i need to focus on straight damage and a LOT of healing lol

my favourite parties would probably be:

dao - alistair + zevran + wynne (wholesome and also funny)

da2 - anders + fenris + merrill (SO much chaotic energy)

dai - solas + cassandra + cole (i just love them ok)

which of your characters did you put the most thought into?

ashara lavellan, my canon inquisitor who was never supposed to be canon tghtgurhtrg. my original canon inq was a trevelyan rogue, who was super nice and good. i made ashara so that i could actually play as an evil/mean character without feeling bad lol, oh and i also wanted to see what the deal with solas was bc i had heard his romance was good ;;;;) anyway that backfired and i ended up completely falling in love with her, and i STILL couldnt make the tough choices with her so i was like ok maybe she isnt THAT evil and now shes just..... the way she is now i guess lmao

favourite romance?

trhhtruih okay u guys KNOW its solas. u know. i dont even have to say anythiing about it bc...u fucking know

(alistair’s is very close tho)

have you read any of the comics/books?

i havent :(((( im such a bad fan but i cannot deal with ordering online and thats the only place ive been able to find them. im planning on reading asunder and the masked empire as soon as i get the chance (and the money) tho !!

if you read them, which was your favourite book?

nope

favourite DLCs?

trespasser ! its pretty simple and very plot-driven like u didnt have to worry about side missions as much as u would with other dlcs so idk that was... refreshing. but obviously i loved it just bc it was so beautiful and intense and sad (since my chara romanced solas obviously) and that music score????? unbelievable i’ll never be over it

things that annoy you.

can i say the fandom trghuitgrhutrhui

mostly the thing that pisses me off the most is the grey morality. writers trying to make everything deep and Thought Provoking like..... no jerry, slavery IS bad theres no alternative viewpoint lol??????? also the fucking whitewashing makes me see red.

orlais or ferelden?

ferelden!!!!! (*blows a kiss* for highever)

templars or mages?

mages <3

if you have multiple characters, are they in different/parallel universes or in the same one?

i only have like 3 protag da characters and they’re all canon, although emeraude is an au. so ella is my canon warden and ashara is my canon inquisitor, but emeraude does exist in that universe, bc i hc she befriended the warden and alistair when they visited the alienage, and she was very outspokenly angry and didn’t really give a shit that alistair was going to be heir. which alistair really,,, appreciated i guess? so emeraude is made his official elven adviser after his coronation but she also kinda helps out as a royal protector because she’s one of the only people in court they both trust completely lol. also she is....stronk.

and the only other characters i have for da are obviously side characters who are related to my canon protags so. they’re all canon as well lol

what did you name your pets? (mabari, summoned animals, mounts, etc)

ella named her dog ser bark gthutgrhutghruihtr she thought it was cute ok

emeraude just went with barkspawn since alistair came up with the idea as a joke but she thought the joke was so bad she made them keep it as punishment vjhuightui

i dont really have a hawke oc but.....he named his dog shepard in my playthrough ! like from mass effect ;;;;)))

have you installed any mods?

origins is modded to hell and back and i genuinely couldn’t play the game without mods at this point. inquisition is slightly modded but im in the process of removing them all, and only keeping a few because my game runs pretty terribly with them installed

did your warden want to become a grey warden?

ella did ! but it was kind of,, a naive childhood dream, she had a really romanticized view of the wardens and she wanted a life of excitement and bravery and adventure, not really taking into consider all the bad things about it (and obviously not knowing the full truth about what it means to be a warden)

emeraude did NOT want to be a warden. she basically had to be dragged out of the alienage because she wanted to stay and protect her community. she never really enjoyed being a warden, although her friendship with alistair was its one redeeming quality

hawke’s personality?

uh i cant remember the colour/personality thing but he was a combo of funny/ethical. mostly there for memes tho.

did you make matching armor for your companions in inquisition?

for origins i do ! i always make sure alistair and ella wear the grey warden armour, as well as every warden in awakening. thats like, all theyre allowed to wear lmao.

if your character(s) could go back in time to change one thing, what would they change?

ella would obviously change her family’s murder lol, and emeraude would at least try and change what happened at her wedding, to prevent shianni and the others from being hurt.

ashara would change romancing solas :((( she was so angry at herself after discovering who he was, and she felt weak and foolish which she HATES more than any other feeling, so she definitely wishes she had never met him for a long time. after she kind of processes it though, and learns to deal with her anger, her answer would be that she wishes she had saved the chargers. it’s the one move she made that actually keeps her up at night sometimes.

do you have any headcanons about your character(s) that go against canon?

ghuitrhuigtrhugtr so many. canon? dont know her.

the biggest example would be that i hc king!alistair was at the winter palace during the wicked hearts level. because uh..... celene and the fereldan monarchs had been corrosponding for over 10 years, trying to build up rapport, of COURSE the king would be there to see who the potential ruler/s of orlais would be and whether or not he ought to be worried. like. im sorry but alistair was there lol you can’t change my mind. i also hc he helps ashara with information about the grey wardens during this chapter, because ???? it just makes sense??? im so angry i wish this was canon

are any of your characters based on someone?

ok it was unintentional but ashara reminds me of an english teacher i had in highschool who was very scary but also....really cool and i loved her. it was an accident but,, still counts.

who did you leave in the fade?

gtiturghtugh okay at the risk of pissing off EVERYBODY who reads this, i left hawke in the fade, even though it was a toss up between hawke and stroud. it was ashara’s fault tho !!! she would have 100% prioritzed an alliance with the grey wardens over like,, some guy. it broke my heart but yeah That happened.

favourite mount?

i like all the elk mounts mostly ! but i never use them bc they sound ugly af

tagging : @trvelyans @f3nharel @allisondraste @ensevens @tethraas @talizorah @fereldun if u are up to it <3 and whoever else wants to do this !

#/ long post #sorry this is so long i got carried away oops #dai #dao #da2 #personal

7 notes · View notes

tumblunni · 6 years ago

Text

Man, god, im just suddenly thinking about "ak/ur/oku" and like.. How the fuck did that even become such a huge thing in early 2000s fandom? Dear god so much early gay shipping in fandom was super unhealthy "sinful" bullshit made by straight people for fetishy purposes rather than genuine representation. But a/kurok/u was such a weird one because it was like.. Just globally accepted and never aknowledged to be problematic?? Man i still remember how lil 13 year old me didnt know there was anything wrong with it, like seriously when stuff like this becomes popularized it ends up sending bad messages to actual queer youth. Learning about your sexuality via the internet cos there's no sex ed irl for you, abd you end up stumbling into toxic fandoms before you have the critical thinking skills necessary to know that this stuff is bad and shouldnt be imitated. Like seriously one of the things i worry about EVERY NIGHT AT 2AM THAT KEEPS ME FROM SLEEPING is that stupid lil 15 year old me made a post on deviantart going like "are pedophiles really all bad? I mean it sounds like an illness. I mean maybe theyre just scared and they want help." Like im terrified constantly that someone will find that old thing and judge me as if i still believe that apologist crap, or as if it was actually an opinion i formed from a fully developed mind, rather than from a kid who (as far as i knew) had never met a pedophile, thinking about pedophiles in the abstract, while being influenced by fuckin pedophile-dominated fandoms and having NO IDEA. and of cooooourse i wanted to believe that i was mature for my age, i thought that was a compliment.. Uuuuugh...

Sorry, going a little offtopic there.

But anyway isnt it kinda weird how akur/oku was just.. Not even regarded as pedophilia? And when i was a kid it wasnt just me not understanding the gross parts of the fandom, i legit never thought axel was that much older than roxas. And it was one of the more popular gay ships cos at that point as far as we knew it was the only person axel had any sort of backstory with, and he cared so much about this guy that he was willing to sacrifice his life to help sora even when he knew roxas would never come back. At the time without further context it seemed like a reasonable assumption to make? And it wasnt until Days that i realized axel was intended to be an adult rather than a teenager, and even worse A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO MADE THAT SHIPPING ART KNEW THAT. Uuugh it was so gross in retrospect to go back and see all the clues i missed that these people were fetishizing roxas's inexperience and veey much writing him as underage. AAAAAAA!

Anyway im glad that shit is now recognized as shit and now we have canon evidence of this dude being old as balls. And honestly i love the relationship of him as a big brother/dad to roxas and xion a lot more, even though as a kid i was desperate for any kind of queer representation in kh. Like.. I never really actually liked the ship that much or felt any chemistry? I just latched onto a few bad writing flubs that could potentially be interpreted as Gay Evidence because i was SO damn desperate! Like i felt like i had to support all these gross abusive ships in fandom cos if i wasnt then i was being 'homophobic', i mean they were THE ONLY AVAILABLE OPTIONS, right? :( Its only now ive grown up i can see how wrong that was, and how people just used it as an excuse to make gross shit and get away with it. Like how in Black Butler all these 'yaoi fangirls' kept erasing the rarest of rare things, a canon trans woman, because 'its sexier if its gay'. Ughhhh. And seriously that discourse still exists for poor Grell, and there's still a lot of these shitty bigoted people pretending to be allies, but like seriously this was EVERYWHERE in 2005! And lgbt rights and even lgbt communities at all were way smaller and less available to the poor teenagers who really needed that positive influence while they were figuring out who they are. So man the abusive side of yaoi fandom was WAY more powerful, and wya more.mainstream, with barely any criticism. And the whole content of this fandom was creepy fuckin adults making pedo porn, and kids who just discovered they were queer and tried to headcanon their favourote characters as being like them. Fucking predator heaven! So yeh that ruined KH for me and definately made me scared of returning to Black Butler for almost a decade. And then i found out that the manga itself has none of that pedo shit and that one of the fandom's biggest abusive gay man archetypes was actually a trans woman this entire time, and just gahhhhh....

Also like seriously this is a tad offtopic but can we kill the anime trope of either everyone looking young or everyone looking old? Or creepy things where just one character looks the wrong age in order to fetishize pedophilia? I dont think kingdom hearts was one of those intentional ones, like i mean there's super bad shit where its like 'this 5 year old looking person is really 9000 years old/actually 18 and just hasnt had their growth spurt yet' (somehow its even more insulting when theres not even a magical excuse) Or the other way around and we have a character thats canonically underage but drawn looking sexually mature with big ol knockers so its somehow okay. The existence of those horrible things is why i end up feeling uncomfortable even seeing ambiguous ages as just a trope in completely innocent anime, yknow? Like in pokemon and digimon all the 10 year old protagonists are exactly the same height as all the adults, and all the female love interests for ash have to be early bloomers in terms of chest and hips, while notably Iris is the only one who actually looks her age and also the first non love interest. Its another reason why i prefer the new art style for the latest season, they make everyone look like kids and Lillie continues to look like a kid even though she's the main girl and has all the cute scenes with Ash. The girls even got very normal looking kiddy swimsuits in the beach episode! Why is that so uncommon, to find the bare minimum thing of underage kids not being sexualized at the beach??

Soooooo yeah, thats at least part of why kid me thought axel and roxas were within a similar age range. Like i thought roxas was maybe 16 and axel was 18?? Somehow?? I dont even know, kingdom hearts isnt even SUPER bad with the 'kids look like older teens,all adults look like age 20 at the most' anime syndrome. Its probably more because id been raised on games and anime that followed that trope, before i played kh. And as a kid you just dont really know the exact differences between 'old', like i mean i knew teenagers were tall and boys get a growth spurt, so somehow it made sense to me that axel could be the same age as roxas?? And man even if i knew he wasnt, i was barely educated at all about pedophilia and i didnt know the nuances of it. I just knew 'its bad for adults to marry kids' like man i was really behind the curve in general learning due to my undiagnosed autism and abusive parenting so like HERE'S 12 YEAR OLD ME NOT EVEN THINKING ABOUT THE SEX ASPECT. And i didnt know that adults in relationships with teenagers was bad too, or like 16/17 year old teens dating kids... I was so fuckin dumb... I really cant believe that not only did i believe stupid adults saying 'pedophilia isnt bad if you're non offending, its okay to make cartoon child porn as long as you dont physically abuse real kids' but also i somehow just DID NOT EVER REALIZE that axel was an adult and roxas wasnt even a goddamn older teen...

So yeh im making a lot of excuses for why my stupid younger self was blindly parroting bullshit, but im not trying to excuse how goddamn wrong and bad it was. I still wake up ashamed in the middle of the night for crapoy decisions i made as a dumb kid, and in terrified that some shreds of it might still exist out there on the internet and maybe someone else could read it?! Gahhhh! Seriously could i have accidentally helped spread that bullshit brainwashing to other kids? And seriously when people say this shit is harmless they just need to look at this, look at how being into problematic yaoi is such a common 'phase' for ACTUAL CHILDREN. Like its not fuckin NATURAL for kids to fall into this stuff, they do it because they dont know any better but the people making the goddamn founding blocks of the fandom are fuckin grown women fetishizing gay men or grown men fetishing lesbians. There's people who do know better who actually conciously decide that a/kurok/u is a good ship while knowing all the goddamn details of what it actually is and exactly what theyre supporting by shipping it. Ughhhhh!

So yeh fuckin Please Stay Safe In Fandom, Kids

And pedophiles have absolutely none of my sympathy, please ignore that goddamn shit i wrote as a little kid being fuckin groomed by a fandom without even knowing it.

This also applies a lot to the rest of LGBT+ aside from just gay shipping, like seriously it took me til age 18 to find any positive representation of trans people or even a proper explanation of what being trans is, yet before i was even 8 years old i'd seen a million 'lol gross man in a dress who gets sexual gratification from wearing women's underwear' jokes in kids shows. And when i was 12 i'd already been exposed to the fuckin hell of m/pre/g thanks to its prevelance of untagged n/sf/w shit in the kh fandom. And by age 15 i'd been exposed to pedophile apologists arguing whether child porn was okay if they only got off to that and didnt personally abuse that kid with their own hands. All of that shit but actually learning about homosexuality and gender in sex ed would have been 'too much' for someone my age...

God what a fuckin mess. Fuck im really really fuckin worried that any of my ignorant comments at those ages could have been read by other ignorant kids and contributed to that disgusting fandom atmosphere. Fuck i think about this so damn often im so damn ashamed of how ignorant i used to be yet i know the adult fuckfaces making pedo shit never reel one lick of shame any damn day of their life. I used to excuse their shit as an actual kid cos i just ASSUMED they would be ashamed and want to seek help! Gahhhh..

1 note · View note

noxiim · 7 years ago

Note

(1/3)Okayyyy so i mightve sent a few asks abt this before but this topic is really now bugging me cuz i have depression and im sensitive to like everything. Im starting to take this "not getting notes on my art" thing really personally and i know it sounds childish (and i laugh at myself for it) but i cant help but get upset when i spend so much time and effort and get like no feedback. And i know people say not to draw what u love and not for attention but honestly i dont even know what

and i dont even know if im drawing what ilike sometimes. Yeah i love bts but i dont know if i like what im drawing or ifim just doing it for notes???? And i have a lot of anxiety too and thats wherei feel like im taking this too personally. Cuz im starting to think that my artdoesnt get notes cuz its straight up not good which leads me to think ishouldnt even try to pursue a career in art anymore. But im not good atanything else so wtf am i gonna do if i dont succeed in art???? Like i said i laugh at myself for thinking like this and iprobably sound like a fuckin child but i cant help it???? Like i think my artis decent???? But maybe its not???? Idk like this was really hitting me todaycuz i feel like im wasting so much time and im probably gonna be one of thosepoor college students cuz i decided to focus on art more rather than taking ajob cuz i thought i could make money off of my art but yknow clearly its notgoing so well and im scared for my future U dont have to give advice to all of that i just needed tolet that all out

Aw dude don’t worry I get what you mean,I actually experienced something similar when I first started posting my art totumblr, and even recently when I first started posting bts fanart. It’sperfectly normal to want recognition (in this case in the form of notes) forsomething you worked so hard on!! I think one of the major issues with postingto such a big fandom such as bts though is that there’s so many peopleproducing content at any given time, that it’s incredibly easy to get drownedout. Especially since tumblr changed how search and track tagging worked, itmade it that much harder for people to get noticed for their content.

When I first switched to drawing for bts,I found it hard because I also focused a lot on my note count. For someone whowas originally well established in a previous fandom, the move to bts was quitea jarring experience. I had built my following on tf2 art, and used toconsistently get a couple hundred notes, but one of main reasons why I left wasbecause of the dwindling of note counts. When I first left, overwatch had justcome out and a lot of attention shifted towards that game away from tf2, andalthough I still love the game, the dramatic decrease in notes on my art fortf2 really made me sad and I ended up deciding to leave the fandom after 3years of drawing tf2 art. I hopped around a bit, before eventually getting intobts. Even then, my first few pieces (they’re not on my #bts fanart tag so mostpeople wouldn’t have ever seen them) either got no notes at all or only two orthree. It was easier for me to establish myself in a fandom such as tf2 back inthe day since it was such a small, tight knit community with limited contentcreators, but now with bts there are so many more people and it just seemedhopeless for a while and I lost motivation in my art. I stopped wanting todraw, since it felt like nobody cared. Art is the biggest hobby I have, solosing my confidence in my art was crushing.

Now you might be wondering how I got towhere I am today. I’ll be completely honest with you. For me, I highly doubt Iwould be anywhere near where I am if it weren’t for networks. I had neverjoined a network before, but decided to join armiesnet and jimin network one daywhen I saw that applications were open. I got accepted, and I joined theirrespective group chats too. I met lots of great people on those chats, and madea lot of new friends which was nice after having moved fandoms and lost touchwith many previous mutuals. I’m so glad I joined networks, because not only doyou have the chance to make mutuals who will support you and your art, thenetwork blog itself also reblogs all its members’ content which gives youexposure to members of the network through both the network tag and through thedashboard. It’s a perfect way to get started, rather than hoping that somebodywith a decent following will happen to stumble across your work in the tags oneday and reblog it.

That being said, unless you’re like somesort of godly human being I don’t think we can ever get over how note countsfeel as an artist. We need something to gauge people’s response to our art, andthat tends to default to note counts. I can assure you that the feeling of disappointmentwhen your post doesn’t get as many notes as you want/expected it to is a thingpretty much all artists on this site shares. People always say “you should drawfor yourself, not for other people” but that’s the equivalent of like say themona lisa being painted and then left to rot in Da Vinci’s closet or something.The whole point of art is sharing your ideas/love for something through yourdrawings with other people, and so it’s perfectly normal to want therecognition you deserve for working so hard and putting so much love into yourcraft. When it feels like you’re all alone, you have to remember not to giveup. Creating art in such a big fandom can be unforgiving, but just rememberthat your art is never the one at fault. It’s all about finding that littlegolden window of exposure, whether it be through one big blog or a couplesmaller blogs reblogging your work. Those kind few people will be what helpsyou grow, and you have to keep posting for that to happen. If you water a plantbut it doesn’t bloom the next day, abandoning it will get you nowhere. If youjust keep going, keep watering it, results will come. Keep reminding yourselfthat you’re doing well, and you can compare older art to your current art tosee the progress and keep you motivated. Don’t force yourself to draw if youaren’t feeling it – art is something that should make you happy. I used to drawbecause I felt the pressure to put out content, but that just resulted in mefalling into a negative spiral of art block, limited motivation and generalunhappiness with my art as a result. Remember that there’s no such thing as adeadline when it comes to posting art on tumblr – work at whatever pace suitsyou and if anybody tries to rush you, shut them down. You’re the artist, youget to choose what you do with your art, how you do it, and how long you spendon it.

If you truly have your sights set onbecoming an artist full time, then by all means go for it! I can’t give muchadvice in that area since I only plan on keeping art as a hobby, but justremember that art school is always optional. In the end, working as an artistis all about the portfolio, not where you graduated from. It’s more importantto work on your art than it is to get in to an amazing art school. Sure, artschools can be useful, but in the end they are simply tools, sort of like atutorial rather than something that will magically turn you into an amazing artistwith amazing job offers. At the end of the day, it’s all up to yourself to workhard and promote yourself. Since art is all about reaching different audienceswith your work, promoting yourself is essential, even if it’s just casualfanart on tumblr. Feedback can’t come without exposure, and exposure can’t comewithout self-promotion.

Lastly, remind yourself that there’s nosuch thing as ‘bad art’. That might sound like a stupid statement, but inreality art is a constantly changing thing. There is no pinnacle of perfection,no model artwork that represents the most perfect drawing out there. Everyonehas different styles, everyone has different approaches, and most importantly,everyone is still improving. I’m still learning and trying to improve my ownart, and there’s no shame in that. It’s easy to perceive someone else’s art asbetter than yours which would lead to some self-critical thoughts, but you haveto remember that the other artist is probably looking at their own art andpicking it apart, thinking “aw man there are so many mistakes here.” It’s fineto make mistakes, after all, that’s how we learn. Just because we see mistakesin our own art doesn’t mean that everyone else will too – nobody looks at artand their first thought is to list all of the mistakes present. As long as youare aware of what you are less confident in and actively work to improve it,you can quickly surpass even the people you look up to.

So yeah, sorry that this is hella longlol, but in all honestly I can understand what you’re going through. It’seasier said than done, but even though it might feel hard - don’t give up. Youmight feel like you’re not getting anywhere at the moment but I assure you thatif you just keep going, things will only get better. That’s the thing abouttumblr, if you keep posting art your audience can only grow. For now, I would definitelyrecommend joining some networks, and making some friends. It’s not uncommon forpeople to promo their own work in the network chat occasionally, as long as youdon’t spam haha

Anywho, I wish you the best of luck withyour art journey. If you need me you know where to find me 💕💕💕

#long post #sorry I kind of rambled #but anon if you want to talk to me don't be afraid to message me instead #I'm always here if you need to vent 💕#asks #Anonymous #art asks

42 notes · View notes

arituzz · 7 years ago

Text

nineteen firsts and one last

-SNOWBAZ-

Summary: It’s Simon’s nineteenth birthday. He’s not expecting anything unusual, just some messages from his tumblr friends. But Baz has different plans.

Word count: 3.7k

Rating: T

Tags: tumblr au, friends to lovers, distant relationship, first meeting

Ari: This is just an edit from last year’s fic, because I didn’t like the format. Happy 20th birthday, Simon ♡

SIMON

I wake up to the doorbell ringing. I look at the clock. 5:59 am. Fuck. Who could it be at this unholy hour? Probably my father, coming back home drunk after a night of partying. Damn, why didn’t he stay in the hotel, as usual?

The doorbell rings again. “I’m fucking coming, dad!” I yell.

I put on some clothes and go to the door. I open it, ready to scowl at my father but, instead, there’s a delivery girl looking at me through her pointy glasses.

“Good morning,” she says. “A packet for Simon Snow.”

“Uhm… that’s me,” I tell her, a little bewildered.

She gives me the packet and makes me sign a paper. I tell her thanks and make to go back inside. “Wait,” I shout before she leaves. “Next time, could you come, I don’t know, in the afternoon? When I’m not sleeping?”

“Sorry, the sender wrote specific instructions to deliver this on 21st June at precisely 5:59 am. He even paid an extra and called the company to make sure we followed the instructions. Sounded rather bitter. I wouldn’t risk my job,” she explains. Ha. Like dying her hair blue wouldn’t risk it. Though, I have to say it looks awesome on her dark skin.

“Oh, in that case… Thanks. Have a nice day,” I wish her.

“See you later!”

I close the door and go to the living room, to open the packet. It’s a basket full of fresh-baked cherry scones and some blocks of butter. There’s a card with a note. It reads:

Some like it hot (page 38)

5:59 am - First breakfast to your door

I’d bring it to your bed if I were there

Baz

(Gampire Chaz to my Craigon Rain)

Oh my God. Baz. Right, it’s my birthday. It’s nice of him that he remembered. Baz is my best friend on tumblr. Well, he is my best friend, period. Although I’ve never met him in person, I feel like we’ve known each other for years. And to think that we used to be at each other’s throats!

When I first read the book A Charmed Life, I became hugely obsessed with its characters—i.e. the protagonist, a half-dragon named Craigon Rain—so I created a tumblr blog to obsess about them. At that time, there were very few people in the fandom: gampire-chaz-loves-craigon-rain (Baz), rainchaz61 (Penny), tape-exists-and-im-glad-for-it (Agatha), trixiethelesbianpixie (Trixie), gampirhys (Rhys), so-noted-rainchaz (Niall), and craigonsnowrain (me). And we were like a little family.

But I hated Baz. And he hated me. We would make stupid competitions to see who had the most notes on their posts. I finally gave up because the fucker draws the most brilliant fanart. So I decided to befriend him and make some projects together.

A smile draws in my face as I eat the delicious over-buttered cherry scones. Just the way I like them.

I grab my cellphone to send a thank you message to Baz.

When I’m done with breakfast, I scroll down my dash on tumblr. No happy birthday message. Well, it’s still early. Not for Baz, though, he lives in England, so it must be the afternoon already.

I decide to watch TV for a while—I have nothing planned for today. The fact is that I don’t really have any friends in real life. I don’t know many people here in Nebraska, and the ones I know are complete idiots. So my plan is to stay in all day and read a freaking lot of Rainchaz fanfiction.

After a while, I turn off the TV and go to tumblr on my laptop. Oh, one notification: gampire-chaz-loves-craigon-rain mentioned you in a post.

I open the link and it’s a beautiful doodle of me and Baz, fighting a chimera—as in one of the book’s scenes. I’ve posted some pics of me before, so he has references. The post says:

“Do it. Fucking unleash. Now.” (page 5)

First doodle of you (and me)

Baz

I hit reblog and add:

“I can’t. It doesn’t work like that.”

BTW it’s fucking WONDERFUL!! tysm <3

I’m reading a smutty Rainchaz fic when the doorbell rings again. It’s not that I’m gay, I just love the characters so much. And the smut is great, I love it. The authors in this fandom are just brilliant.

I look at the clock. 7:59 am. It’s still too early for dad to come and I’m not expecting anyone. (Ever.)

I open the door and the same delivery girl brings another packet, this time smaller.

She smiles at me and says, “You know the procedure.” I sign the paper and she leaves with a “See you later!”

“Later,” I reply.

I go back into the apartment and open the packet. It’s a book. The book. A Charmed Life. I go to the first page and, holy shit, it’s signed by the author! It’s so difficult to get a signed copy, I’ve been trying for months, but the author is not very sociable. She wrote:

To Simon Snow,

May you fight your own battles and forge your own wings.

Cather Avery

Wow. It’s perfect.

There is also a card with a note that reads:

“It’s the good things that’ll drive you mad with missing them.” (page 11)

First signed copy of your favourite book.

(I miss you even though I’ve never met you)

Baz

Jesus Christ. This is the best birthday present of my life. I take a picture of it to post it on tumblr and add: @gampire-chaz-loves-craigon-rain I wish you were here so I could hug you into oblivion! Thank you, best b-day present ever <3

I grab my old copy of A Charmed Life—don’t want to ruin this one—and start running through its pages. With all these gifts I feel like re-reading it. Again. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve read it.

It’s a Young Adult fantasy novel about a very special chosen one. A chosen who doesn’t want to be chosen. Craigon Rain is the last half-human, half-dragon alive. He’s never met his mother—that’s where he got the dragon part. His father wants him to take part in a battle that’s not his own. A battle against the vampires. At first Craigon—the half-dragon—obeys his father’s orders until he meets Gampire Chaz, a teenage vampire who finds himself in the same situation as Craigon, but on opposite ends. The two boys fall in love, defying everything that’s been established by their families and it’s precisely their love the thing that saves them all.

I identify myself quite a lot with Craigon Rain—my name is Simon Snow, see the irony. I never met my mother either and I also think my father is the responsible of everything bad that happens in my life.

Baz identifies himself with the antagonist, Gampire Chaz—only because he’s got brown skin like him, and their middle names rhyme. The moron.

My phones buzzes and I leave the book on the table. Another tumblr notification: gampire-chaz-loves-craigon-rain mentioned you in a post.

I open the link. It’s an aesthetic with six pictures of us—separately, duh—and three pictures with vampires and dragons. It’s beautiful. Under the post, Baz has written:

“Strong. Graceful. Fucking ruthless.” (Page 14)

(You are)

8:59 am - First aesthetic of us!

Baz

I hit reblog and add: This is too much Baz. I can’t even!! tysm <3

I can’t believe any of my tumblr friends—we call ourselves raindrops—has wished me a happy birthday yet. Except Baz, sort of. I mean, he hasn’t said it explicitly. Penny lives in India and Agatha in France, I think they should have posted something by now… Now that I think of it I have no clue where Rhys, Niall and Trixie live… Well, Niall is clearly asian but that doesn’t mean that he lives in Asia. I don’t know.

I’m hungry. Thinking too much makes me hungry. Thinking makes me hungry. I go the kitchen to see if there’s anything to eat.

Nothing. Fuck. I’m gonna have to go buy something.

I go to the closest supermarket and buy some popcorn and a peanut butter cup ice cream. Perfect combination for fanfiction reading.

As I climb the steps to my apartment, I bump into the delivery girl from before.

“Hey, watch out,” she scowls and extends me yet another package.

I sign the paper and tell her, “later?”

“Later,” she answers, with a smile.

Once I’m inside, I open the packet—the third one today, and it’s only 9:59 am.

There are some papers inside the packet, a photo of a star, I think?

I read the note that Baz has left:

“Twinkle, twinkle little star!” (page 260)

9:59 am - First star

(These are official documents that prove that this star is named after you and is now yours.)

(Sorry I couldn’t give you the Universe, but this is a star-t.)

(Yes, I knew you wouldn’t understand shit of what the papers say.)

Baz

I’m at a loss of words. What the fuck. It must have cost him a fortune. Well, it must have cost his father a fortune. I guess they can afford it.

I send him a message on tumblr: got the star. what the actual fuck? speechless.

And then I add: why arent u replying to any of my posts? u ok?

Right after reading the first fic, halfway through my ice-cream, the doorbell rings again. 10:59 am. I’m guessing it’s not dad, just yet.

I open the door, and a familiar blond haired girl with the most beautiful brown eyes I’ve ever seen is standing there, looking bored.

“Agatha!” I scream.

“Happy birthday, Simon,” she smiles at me and kisses my cheek. “I’ve come to bring you your next gift.” She shows me what seems like a tattooer box.

I know what Agatha looks like and that she’s a professional tattooer. She’s posted several pics on raindrops faces day. And the rest, too. All except Penny. (She says she can’t be bothered to take a selfie.)

“Agatha!” I shout again. I still can’t believe it. “Come in,” I add.

We sit on the sofa and she gives me the next note. It reads:

“Flames and Blazes—The Art of Burning.” (page 203)

10:59 am - First tattoo

(This is a combined gift from Wellbelove and me)

(I made the design and she’s going to tattoo you)

(You actually asked for it, so it’s no surprise)

Agatha shows me the design. It’s a constellation. And there’s fire surrounding it.

“Simon,” she says. “This is going to hurt.”

“It’s wonderful, Agatha,” I say when it’s finished, looking at my back through the mirror. “You could’ve been gentler, though.”

“I was gentle, Simon, believe me,” she replies.

The doorbell rings again. I think that it has rung more in one day than in nineteen years.

“Lunch,” Agatha says, and goes for the door. She opens it. “Hi, Penny,” she says to the delivery girl.

What?

“Penny?” I ask, stupidly.

“Sorry, Simon, it was too fun seeing you all clueless,” she apologizes.

“I am still clueless,” I retort.

She takes me into her arms and gives me a tight hug. “Happy birthday Simon! Let’s have lunch. Where’s the dining room?”

“Uhm, here, in the living room. I eat in the living room.”

“Oh, your note,” Penelope says as she gives me the card.

“Because roast beef and Yorkshire pudding are fucking real as Rain.” (page 84)

11:59 - First roast beef and Yorkshire pudding from Watford

(Because you haven’t eaten real roast beef if it’s not from England)

(And Watford Restaurant serves the best one)

(Enjoy your meal)

Baz

We sit on the sofa and start eating our lunch. I’m so happy. It’s like we do this everyday. But I miss Baz. I miss him so much. Where the fuck is he?

We finish eating and Penny looks at her watch. “It’s 12:59,” she says. “Dessert is here,” she smiles wickedly.

“Open the door, Simon,” Agatha says.

I go for the door and open it.

Baz.

Baz is here. With a cake in his hands.

Baz is here. And I can’t hug him.

“Baz!” I say, grinning widely.

“Hey, Snow, happy birthday,” he says, and hands the cake to me. There’s a card on it, too.

“But he just stood there for as long as he could stand it. I don’t know how he resisted the pull; I felt like my intestines were going to burst out and wrap around him.” (page 167)

12:59 - First meeting

(I’m here.)

Baz

Baz looks like he’s trying to hide the huge smile that’s drawing in his face. But I can see it.

“Fuck, Snow,” he says, finally giving into the smile. “I wanted this to happen at 1:59 pm, but here you go.”

“What?” I ask

He takes out another card from the back pocket of his jeans and reads it.

“Trying not to crack a smile. Page 517.”

Then, he looks at his watch and adds, “ 1:01 pm, first smile. First real life smile from me to you.”

“The presents are getting better,” I say, trying not to smile from ear to ear.

We eat the cake on the sofa. Baz tried to oppose to it, but I don’t really have a table with nice chairs to sit down and chat while drinking tea. I’ve never had anyone come over.

We talk about our lives. Well, they talk about their lives and I listen. And look at Baz. His eyes are prettier than I had imagined. And oh my God, his skin. It reminds me of toffee. It has such an appetizing color it makes me want to taste it.

After a while, Baz leads us downstairs and into a cab that’s parked in front of my building.

The taxi drives for around twenty minutes before it comes to a stop. “We’ve arrived,” the driver anounces.

Baz tips him and gestures us to follow him. We enter a place called The Wavering Wood Cafe.

“Happy birthday!” Rhys, Niall, Trixie and other fellow raindrops I identify from tumblr say at the same time as I go through the door.

“Jesus,” I say. I’m stupefied. A surprise party. For me.

Baz hands me another card and our fingertips brush. He cracks an undecipherable smile and looks away.

I read the note.

“It feels like a party.” (page 40)

2:59 pm - First birthday party

(First of many to come)

Baz

I’m having a great time. It’s so fun talking to all my tumblr friends in real life. I finally got to meet Keris, Trixie’s girlfriend. She always posts pics of them together. (Penny finds it gross.) (But that’s personal. She doesn’t like Trixie.)

I keep giving glances towards Baz’s direction. I don’t know why I can’t stop staring at him.

Suddenly, my phone buzzes. It’s a tumblr post from Baz.

I open the link. It’s a fic. It’s called Snowbaz. Not Rainchaz. I read the summary:

“Because I’m disturbed.” (page 205)

“Ask anyone,”I think out loud, smiling. And then continue reading the summary:

3:59 pm - First fanfiction about us

Baz

I start reading the fic. It’s all fluff and love until the last part. Smut. I read it all. And love every word. Fuck.

I look at Baz. He’s already staring at me. I step towards him.

“Hey, Snow,” he says. “Ever tried a flaming shot?”

“I’m underaged, you know.”

“Not in my country,” he smirks.

“Okay, fine, give me a shot.”

“A flaming shot, Snow,” Baz says. “Here.”

He hands me a small glass of liquor and sets it on fire with a lighter. He does the same with his glass.

“To us,” he says.

“To us,” I reply.

He blows out the fire and drinks all the liquor. I mimic him. Ugh. I grimace.

“Sharing a room with the person you want most is like sharing a room with an open fire,” Baz starts saying, looking directly into my eyes. “He’s constantly drawing you in. And you’re constantly stepping too close. And you know it’s not good—that there is no good—that there’s absolutely nothing that can ever come of it. But you do it anyway. And then…”

“Then you burn,” I finish. God, his eyes are fire.

“Page 177. 4:59 pm, first flaming drink.”

“First drink,” I correct.

He laughs and orders a couple more.

We have a couple more shots and talk about our favorite AUs. We talk more than we drink.

Suddenly Baz looks at his watch, and then back at me. With the same blazing eyes from before. He stays silent, just looking at me, for a moment. He looks hesitant.

I think he’s going to kiss me.

But he doesn’t. He keeps staring. Some minutes pass. I stare at my watch. 6:10 pm. Where’s my 5:59 pm gift?

“Simon…” Baz starts, flaming shot in his hand.

And then I kiss him.

We kiss for a long time. Then I let go and make him reach for me. And we kiss again.

After a while, we break the kiss and smile at each other. I’m grinning. I can’t help it.

“I was going to say You were the sun, and I was crashing into you,” Baz says. “But I guess the best quote for this is And then HE kisses ME.” He can’t hide his grin, either.

“Page 342,” I say. “6:10 pm, first kiss.”

“Shite, what time is it?” He asks, already looking at his watch.

“6:50 pm,” I answer, moronically.

“Let’s go have dinner, Simon. You and me, only.”

“Okay,” I say. And I follow him to the next room.

There’s a small table for two with two candles. It’s always fire with Baz.

We sit down and he takes out another card.

“You smell like something I’d gladly eat, page 421,” he says, staring at my eyes. “6:59 pm, first romantic dinner.”

I blush.

After dinner, we all go to a pub. It’s called The World of Mages.

It’s great and I’m so happy to be surrounded by friends and the person I like. Baz. That’s new. Liking boys. No, not boys. Only Baz. Wanting to kiss him over and over again.

He takes my hand and says, “Want to dance?”

I nod and smile at him. I’m crap at dancing but I don’t care.

Baz puts his hands on my waist and leads me through the song. Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody.

“I should have known that this is what it would be like to dance with Craigon Rain. Fighting in place. Mutual surrender,” Baz whispers into my ear. “Page 508. 7:59 pm, first dance.”

I place both my arms around his neck and slump into him.

We’re still at the pub. Dancing. Well, at least I’m trying.

“What are we going to do?” I ask him. “You’re going to leave back to England.”

“I know,” he answers with a crack in his voice. “We’ll figure it out, little puff.”

“Baz,” I say. “What’s the next gift? I think I have a better idea.”

“Huh? I was going to take you for a drive…”

“I want to be your boyfriend. Your terrible boyfriend,” I say. “Page 390.”

Baz looks surprised. He places both his hands on my face and kisses me, tenderly. “Of course,” he says. And kisses me again.

“8:59 pm,” I say. “First boyfriend.”

And I kiss him again.

After the pub, we say goodbye to our fellow raindrops. There’s a lot of hugging and kisses on the cheek. God, I’m gonna miss them.

“We have to do this more often,” I say. Even though I’m broke. But I’ll find the money somehow.

They all agree.

Once they’re gone, it’s just me and Baz.

“Let’s go back to my apartment,” I tell him.

“What if your father is there?”

“At this time? Not likely. He must be out, drinking again.”

“Okay,” he says.

We go to my apartment and settle in my room. It’s full of constellations on the walls. Because I love astrology. Hence the tattoo.

“Baz, you haven’t seen it,” I say.

“Seen what?”

“The tattoo, idiot!”

I take my shirt off and show it to him. He places his fingertips on my back and starts tracing it. The touch sends shivers down my spine.

“So beautiful…” Baz says.

I turn around and look at him. I reach for his shirt and take it off. Eyes locked on his. I close the distance and kiss him. And then my hands go down. I can’t stop myself. I kiss every spot of his dark olive skin. And I want more. And I can see that he wants, too.

So I take more. I take it all. And I give it all. To him. To Baz.

“Because we match,” I say after a while. My head is resting on Baz’s chest. Our fingers laced. “Page 420.” I look at my watch. “10:58 pm, first time.”

“When did you start giving yourself birthday presents?” Baz asks.

“I think it was when I did this,” I answer. And I kiss him.

“God, I love you, Simon Snow.”

“I love you, Baz.”

“Fell in love, didn’t you?” He smiles.

“10:59 pm, first I love you,” I say.

I go with Baz to the airport. I’m sad that he has to go. But I’m happy that he came. And he’s going to move to the States with his aunt, Fiona, next year. So I just have to wait for a year. And I’m going to visit him soon. Maybe for his birthday.

He looks at me with watery eyes. He holds my hand so hard it hurts a little.

“I’ll come to England, in a couple of months,” I reassure him. “And then you’ll come back. We’ll be seeing each other a lot. You won’t get rid of me that easily.”

“When I come to live in America with Fiona, I’m going to haunt your door day and night.”

There’s a shout for all the passengers of the flight to Southampton Airport.

Baz kisses me, before letting go.

“Goodbye, Simon,” he says. “This is a first and a last goodbye. Because the next time I see you, I won’t let you go for anything in the world.”

“Go on, then,” I say. “Carry on, Baz.”

-FIN-

#snowbaz fanfiction #snowbaz #simon snow's birthday #carry on fanfiction #listen #i know this sucks #but hey it was from a year ago

123 notes · View notes

cmrnfry · 8 years ago

Note

hey, so I'm p sure I followed you a while back when we were in the same fandom((s)??? idk) but I still follow you now bc you seem really cool and you post a lot of pretty anime gifs. anyway I was just wondering what akira was about bc I've never seen it, and it looks really interesting so i'm wondering if I should check it out. so what's like, the basic rundown of the plot? thank you for helpin me out

sure!!! i’ll give a Vague description of the movie.. but not th manga cause its rlly long and even though the movie will probably be harder to follow w/o having read the manga, it’s a big commitment u kno. so um i’m gonna be vague so i don’t spoil much even tho i’ve been reblogging a million gifs. also i’m on mobile so idk how to put it under a cut i am So Sorry BUT:

so obvi it’s after world war III but it turns out the war was actually caused by a child who was taken in after being discovered to have psychic abilities, then tested on heavily for having the potential to be extremely powerful, n then losing control and basically becoming a meat sack of power and , Hng, Exploding. but with him there were like . fuck . twenty? HNGG I GUESS twenty other kids like him but tht didnt have the same Power? I Guess ? idk how to explain it but these kids were discovered, secretly tested on in hopes for being used in the military, then one of them EXPLODED !! AND THAT KID WAS NAMED AKIRA AAAA anyway so That Happens but the shitheads who tested on him still had to keep all the Experiments a secret so they covered it up w/ the War Excuse. but guess WHAT! they still kept the kids and gave them their medicine and kept them secret and theyre not even kids anymore? its been like 30yrs? and only three of them survived the explosion ITS FUCKED theyre wrinkly and little but they each have their own little powers its great. thats the BackStory I Guess that wasn’t explained in the movie. im worried i got some of that wrong but i havent read it in its entirety in a long time so (SHRUGS) CANT BLAME ME OK LOL

ok but like the thing abt the Powers the children have is tht iirc its like passed down thru generations or smth ? im gonna act confidentsososo Basically the movie is abt a biker gang of 15/16yr old kids? 16/17? theyre our main characters. they have no parents but they have Cool Bikes. the main members that we Get To Know r kaneda (the leader), yamagata, kaisuke, and tetsuo! there r other members but fuck them i guess. so we follow them as one of the members (tetsuo!) comes into contact with one of the three little kids (i call them kids but theyre not) who tried to escape from the nursery all three of them are kept in. so tetsuo crashes his motorcycle into the guy and explodes and hes like HHHUYGGHHYYUUGG u kno. layin on th groundso now the Government Ppl who were comin to get the wrinkly buddy back in his nursery home see that tetsuo touched his Power n were like well fuck bring him in too lolso they TOOK TETSUO AAHH and kaneda’s like NO!!! and they do little brain tests on him and give him shots and pills and shit n they see, woah, would u look at that?, he has the potential to become as powerful as akira!!!!!!!! SO UH LETS FUCK HIM Up n try again w the whole capturing-god’s-power thing cause we’re selfish pigs Just don’t let him explode this time!!!!

so that’s uh the basic plot theres also kei she’s cool but is pretty useless in the movie so fuck her too i gue

but um! if u end up watching the movie and wanting to read the manga then here is me trying to convince u to: a shit ton more character development, a shit ton more kei i mean a SHITE ton, a shit ton more kaisuke, more kaori we love kaori, n characters tht didnt make it to the movie that are … So good

also the manga ends up taking place between like Two completely different and surreal aesthetics while the movie gives you.. just one . if you care

but ya thats me rambling about akira im sorry if it doesnt make sense!!!!! thank u for taking interest its a long movie But its very dear to me and its beautiful and funny and tragic and it’ll make u angry but also glad and its good????its a masterpiece so i hope u watch it lol

#long post #gravy answers #anon

4 notes · View notes

meru90 · 8 years ago

Note

I'm sorry you're getting so much hate and bitter anons in your ask box! I don't understand why people get so butt hurt over the fact that it. is. all. fictional. You enjoy it—keep doing you. It's their problem. Like you said, if they have an issue, dude, don't complain just hit that unfollow button if you're unsupportive? I think your fan art was adorable and I can't wait to see more! I'm glad you're not seeing anything as hate and looking past it ʕ ･ω･ ʔ

im almost 13 years in fandoms on the internet and i’m pretty good at avoiding and also a bit used to all the drama hate and ship wars ; v;; i heard from friends about this issue and that ppl can be pretty sensitive about it guess it was my time to get involved in this drama

this sure as hell escalated a bit lol but thank you also for all the support ,love and nice messages within this turmoilim going to post the rest of the msgs under the read more peace out =v=

Anonym schrieb an meru90:god im so sad you heave to deal with this bullshit about otayuri being problematic. You’re handling it pretty well, I respect that you just expressed your point of view and don’t indulge those poor anons. I hope they will soon give up on ‘educating’ you. Have a nice day and keep up your amazing artwork!!

Anonym schrieb an meru90:You are lovely hon. I’m proud of you for handling this so politely. I hope this whole shipping nonsense doesn’t get you down, you are such a sweet heart! Also just a thought that may help keep the peace (or may not,) why can’t we just /headcannon/ that they are 20 and 23 instead of 15 and 18? then the relationship is as nontoxic as we imagine it x0

Anonym schrieb an meru90:Hello! I can’t help but notice that a lot of people are coming act you because of a fictional ship. Are you okay?? Don’t let it get to you. Hope you’re doing okay! ^^

Anonym schrieb an meru90:im the end, yeah its just a ship… and while it makes ppl uncomfortable (me being one of those ppl, but i can control myself :^)) i think ppl should just like, unfollow u and be done with it? like whats the point in attacking u its not like ur appropriating adult/minor relationships (i hope lol). ppl should just chill and back off and as long as u arent drawing them in any explicit poses/spaces u should just do u. people can just unfollow or enjoy the art while pretending its not slash, ya kno?

jequila schrieb an meru90:I saw all the comments about otabek/yuri as I scrolled through my dashboard and was like “Whooooa boy! Did Meru post some kind of filthy R18+ fanart of them??!” but like… there’s some cute pics and nothing dirty. Or did I miss it somehow? If that’s seriously it, people need to calm down. Why would you unfollow a good artist over this?? I’m glad you’re taking it calmly and not backing down! Ship whatever you wanna ship, draw whatever you wanna draw. Most of us don’t care!

haha apparently standing next to each other implies a toxic relationship idk idk thanks for the nice words

mygaysinspace schrieb an meru90:OtaYuri is the best bromance I’ve ever shipped and I’m glad you love it too, and haters gonna hate *shrug face* stay strong honey ❤

right!!??! they are so supportive of eachother

Anonym schrieb an meru90:These tolls need to get off the computer/phone and actually do something with their life. Stop being stupid ya’ll

Anonym schrieb an meru90:I love you no matter what you ship *throws flowers and candy at you* Go enjoy whatever you like!

THANK YOU FOR BEING A CUTIEPOOF ILY!!!!

Anonym schrieb an meru90:if we put yurio and otabek into high school, yurio would be a sophomore and otabek could be a senior, if not, a freshman in college. it may sound wacky, but in the end, a difference between a HS senior and a college freshman is a couple of months. this might be a bad comparison, but im saying it anyway; if one of the anons watches haikyuu, do they not ship yachi and kiyoko? tsukki and kuroo/bokuto (I don’t ship it but some do)?

Anonym schrieb an meru90:why are people making such a big deal out of it, theyre not the ones drawing the art. its your choice what you want to spend your talent and time doing, nobody elses? they can draw their own things if they’re so worried about it smh? theyre fictional

if ppl got much time with nothing to do they can give you butthurt about everything

Anonym schrieb an meru90:I completely support you with drawing whatever you want. You can draw whatever the fuck you want or ship whatever. People who say it’s pedophilia are ignorant. If you’re that upset over it how about you try stoping REAL pedophiles who kidnap kids and do things to them. How is drawing a character with someone else that’s older a crime?

Anonym schrieb an meru90:i’m so sorry you had to get yourself involved in this kind of bullshit, such ignorant and vicious people have nothing to do in their lives. i advise you to turn off anon for a while as these things can seriously turn out to be dangerous. best of luck

i’ll just ingnore the next ones ^^

Anonym schrieb an meru90:It’s not that you’re “not allowed” to ship a teenager and an adult you do you it’s more like it’s morally wrong i guess lol

Anonym schrieb an meru90:r.i.p meru … people are overthinking these ships.. hope it doesnt get to you too much !

indeed rip me but no im good i swear if i had had free time rn i would have straight up ignored all or

mamamyshka fragte:Oh Mann, da machste was mit! Ich kannte deinen Blog vorher nicht, aber ne gute Freundin hat mich auf den kleinen “Shitstorm” hingewiesen, den einige intolerante Menschen gerade über dich ergießen. Schon allein dafür gibt’s jetzt nen Follow von mir. However, I LOVE OTAYURI and whoever follows me on my main or my yoi blog YURIS-ON-ICE and has a problem with that fact, feel free to fuck off. Tschuldigung, musste mal gesagt werden …

na wenigstens etwas gutes hatte dieses unnötige drama :,D danke für den follow

jonryas schrieb an meru90:oh mein Gott, diese diskussion ist so lächerlich… alle diese kinder, die behaupten OtaYuri wäre problematisch sind idioten. du solltest die einfach ignorieren and zeichnen, was du willst >.

tbh im way too old for this xD aber jeder hat das recht seine meinung zu äußern und wenn es einem nicht passt *da ist die tür und bye :)))*

#lehsoleil #jonryas #mamamyshka #jequila #annoying #i meant #Anonymous #xD

23 notes · View notes

adhdvane · 4 years ago

Note

Anon back again, don't worry about delay in answer! I'm not expecting you to reply in a matter of seconds and I'm patient anyway! (●'◡'●) (and yeah, tumblr's notification system kinda suck so really, not your fault haha)

I understand your struggle with fics all too well lol I'm sure a time will come when it just clicks and you can write the good stuff ( •̀ ω •́ )✧ And no need to feel bad if you haven't posted a lot on ao3! You don't have to have 1000 fics or 200k word-long fics for your works to be enjoyable!! Even little ficlets and drabbles are good to have around ♥

It's good of you to have taken time for yourself if you needed it ♥ And yeah, completely understandable to hesitate and come back to fandom in general with the current state of things (a couple years ago I made an IE/Go sideblog and I'm still terrified that someone is going to come up and yell at me for shipping the characters lmao And that's without counting the Problematic™ fics I wrote when I was 16 lmao)

Regarding your tags, I'm just sitting there like starry-eyed because YES TenKyou. I'm DELIGHTED to know that's your preference because that's mine too for the ship asklhjkh

As for Todd and Prof Mirror, that's a tough and personal question, so good luck! (I'm thinking Todd topping's nice but does it make the prof kink better or not is the question!! ALSO in the french version, I know there's a line from Todd going like "Mirror was already being called Professor before he was a professor" so maybe he's not the only one with a prof kink, just from a different angle, hah)

(you say sorry for rambling, but joke's on you, I ramble too! Sorry for clustering your blog though woops Have a good day! (´･ω･`) )

rip, okay, once again i apologize about this one being even later, mostly bc i saw it early, but i haven't been able to sit down and respond to it. this week was the last week of the month so i actually had a lot to do at work and was able to go in every day (as opposed to 1 - 2 days bc business is still so slow). but at the end of the month i do invoicing for inventory charges for that month for each customer. though i was able to actually get a lot of it done sooner than usual (bc i actually started the process on tuesday instead of thursday), there were still three big ones i couldn't even do until thursday bc they had several orders in production that didn't get shipped until thursday. I was going to finally get to this ask on friday when i got home (we only work half days on friday and close at noon)… but the new gbf event had started… and uhg… a sho centric event. g od.

rest of the word vomit under the cut

before i just—IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ ABOUT THIS GBF RAMBLING FEEL FREE TO SKIP BELOW TO THE END THE GBF OF RAMBLE—this event askjdsjkdfslkdjsdjg talk about giving the antag his redemption art event. the emotional growth in sho. so many new assets to save… there are fricking 6 different versions of his character labeled _painful (_painful, _painful2, etc.), and like so many zoom in's that basically every one of his images has an _up version (the battle ones ((the ones of him on his gearcycle)) also have a bunch of _up2 versions that are zoomed in between the default and _up close up) anyways these in particular kill me.

sho "i'm-not-going-to-cry-or-show-expresions-of-gratitude" awkwardly smiling and crying in this event (while also repeatedly getting the shit kicked out of him/getting hurt. having a moment of breaking down from exhaustion and pain, in the rain, before deciding he has to swallow his pride. every single english word that comes out of his mouth, cv: taniyama kishou is a gift (on a side note i can't believe he fucking played alpha in chronostone. like thats fucking hilarious a va and voicalist capable of such range and drama voicing alpha and his serious monotone ass). Sho (@tsubasa): You showed me the light before—[…] Tsubasa: Wait, what? Whaddya mean I showed you the light? ((you mean when he punched you in the fucking face at the end of the previous event of this series?))). I mean I already shipped bc of the their last event, how can you not ship the guy screaming he's going to kill the protag w/the protag esp after getting punched in the face by the protag at the end makes him calm down and be like fine i guess you win i'm not going to try to kill you know and our gangs don't have to fight. also they're both like 16 (or at least tsubasa is canon 16 (a yeas totally looks like a 16 year old) and sho is at least still in school and at least confirmed to be a minor (not age of majority, which idk what that is exactly in universe, could be 18, could be 20, bc it is fantasy, but it's also japanese, thoguh japan's age of majority is actually lowering from 20 to 18 next april (2022), drinking/smoking/gambling age will still be 20, and the comment in this event was about we're still minors save the smoking for when you're an adult). sho could arguably be 18 or 19 and still believably in school and be considered a minor legally (if in universe gbf follows japanese laws) considering the time he spent in juvie he could easily have been held back. gbf will probably just make him tsubasa's age if a canon age is release. but thinking about sho being 19 and tsubasa being 16 would make some ppl upset and that brings me joy. (also just how funny it could be thinking about (bc everyone is perpetually the same age) how later when sho a year older and legally being able to drink, and tsubasa not, and despite the fact sho being like i will break the laws about physically assaulting a guy but underage drinking, smoking, and drugs is a no-no is fucking hilarious. (the app is rated t so i guess there's only so much you can do…) (oh and one last note, a character in the event asking if sho enjoys the pain and is a masochist, to have other character be like dude you can't just ask someone that. sho saying no he doesn't enjoy the pain. only for later when they are escaping, a character noting "You look rather happy about all this. Now I'm sure youre a masochist." gbf first crushing my sho masochist headcanon and then building it back up in this event, thank u gbf). anways, rip that was a lot and not even everything, as you can see i have been… distracted by this event. apologies

—END OF GBF RAMBLE—

oh god worry about ppl like that in ina like, there really people out there who don't want you shipping ficitional children?????? and the main ina cast is roughly between 12-15. and got i started watching ina in 2013 when i was 19. which apparently for some people is like bad uwu because it's a show for young teenagers (like lol too bad i'm 27 and even though i haven't kept up with aries i still love ina and all the little babies and wont stop shipping). i didn't even know there was people out there who get UPSET AT AGING UP??? like wtf???? sorry i want them to be old enough to marry, adopt children, have a job, and also f.uck. the dpk au is my lifeblood (and has a lot of Problematic™ content that's never even been posted online anywhere bc it used to be an rp. my favorite is that out of all the relationships in the au, tenma and kyousuke's is probably the most unhealthy bc of kyousuke's mental health. some very bad things happened to fei (per request of my rp partner) (part of vanfeny and garsha's revenge on saru as they were sent to megun while saru walks around ''free'' (what exactly is free is a whole other lore mess in itself that i wrote up about post chrono stone future). and that just lead to more bad things fei then did to himself. problematic™ content 9492347 in the dpk au, shipping ozrock and lalaya. (even worse, bc of lore planning i did for the au and decided how their species worked, lalaya is about 6.5 cycles (faram obius years) or roughly 130 earth years and biologically similar to 13 year earth years, and ozrock is about 48 Ixal years roughly 48 earth years and biologically similar to 24 earth years. so like even a worse ship. i mean just ignore cultural norms would be different on an alien planet and also she's royalty and has an obligation to be wed even younger and is probably socially more mature than a human 13 year old. rip sorry i just like alien stuff. a lot of this was also because wouldn't it be great for lalaya to have a really long lifespan so the human friends she makes get older faster and also die way before her :) ina's gunna hurt me with the bug aliens then i'm going to… continue to hurt myself with more alien life span stuff.)

Anyways, With TenKyou, idk I think it's easy to paint tenma as the innocent ~pure baby~ and kyousuke as ~bad boy~ bc of the first inago… and seed kyousuke was a little bastard man (affectionate). which would idk explain the default to kyouten. but like kyousuke chills the hell out in chrono stone and galaxy. and just bc tenma is a dumbass with a heart of gold obsessed with soccer doesn't necessarily mean he's has to be ~innocent baby 受け~ trope. (not that these are the only tropes that decide) (maybe it's bc i sort of like messing with what it must be like to be the main protagonists best friend and watch him continue to overcome everything and be in the spot light and how everyone praises him. kyousuke with self-esteem issues, looking back at all the problems he's caused, tenma has flaws but they're either negligible or something to love about him and mine have only hurt others. disregarding his own goddamn plot armor in the past. complex, emotional, suffering kyousuke is how i like my kyousuke. need we even get into how god eden was canonically revealed to be physically/mentally abusing seeds and that whole can of worms) (also just "nervous baby i don't know how to approach tenma" kyousuke, "cheeky little shit doesn't have any regards to personal space and boundries" tenma) at least if anyone starts giving me shit about an ina ship or problematic fictional ina content, i can always respond with something i drew back in 2015.

back to the matter of new snap though… that line is so familiar (im pretty sure it's in the eng txt, i have it set to jpn audio tho). i recently started keeping a log of the messages that pop up on the camp, lab, and map screens (but haven't saved too many bc i get distracted or at least i know i'm missing quite a few i have vague memories of). (also idk why my first thought to that line was mirror responding with "That was because you were the one calling me that.") there actually were a couple messages i saved initially that would be useful for fic writing:

Todd: "The professor used to be kinda reckless back in the day. I suppose after 10 year he must've calmed down a bit."

and

Mirror: "Todd's calmed down since I last saw him. Or maybe he's just acting mature because you kids are around…"

possible implications from these that I'm deciding to consider for headcanons:

both reckless and wild in their early 20's but that's not unusual, so they were acting like reckless young adults when they were 20. makes sense.

because mirror mentions the last time i saw him (which is definitely implied not 10 years ago since todd had a research team pin so obviously he's been around a bit since the lab was established) meaning todd is potentially still a chaotic bastard but is just trying to act like an adult in front of the kids. beautiful.

and on that note another wonderful Tood message:

Todd: "I never invited Phil to be my pupil—he just declared himself my "number one student" and started tagging along! But honestly…I was kind of flattered."

the possibility that when todd showed up in game, after that cutscene he went to talk to mirror like "this 10 year old just started following me and wont go away, pls help. what do i do?????"

this unsupervised 10 year old just followed a ~30 year old man into the wilderness and somehow just declares todd is mentor (and took the research team pin from todd to ''borrow''). this is a hostage situation. todd is the hostage.

the idea that perhaps todd just got back from a long expedition and was glad to be back and spend time with mirror, except this kid started following him around and wont leave him alone or go away, and then when he got to the lab there were two more kids there. how the fuck am i supposed to get it on with mirror when we have little alone time and when we finally do we're constantly at risk of being interrupted and/or walked-in on. (that last part was mainly the premise of the fic i wanted to write. "these kids are a handful how are we supposed to have intimate time. especially bc they're all so young and have child energy levels and when they go to bed i am already fucking exhausted." i'm thinking it might work better as like a drabble collection, that way i don't have to adhere to a plot line and can pick and choose scenarios to write because i keep winding up with more scenario ideas that i can nearly piece together into a coherent timeline anymore.)

(also a bit that rita becomes suspicious that they are 100% fu.cking even though all that happened was mirror wasn't asleep up in his bed above the lab and fell asleep in one of the bungalows w/todd and then tried to cover it up like haha what no, i was checking on todd he's not feeling well uh… what? where are my pants? oh. oh i can't believe i just totally got out of bed and left the lab without my pants haha.) (todd and mirror just trying to keep their relationship a secrete out of fear of rumors spreading and it affecting the lab's funding, even though rumors definitely started ages ago but neither of them realize). (also todd doesn't trust phil to keep his mouth shut and doesn't like the optics of the random 10 year old who started following him (UNSUPERVISED) just blabbing to his parents about how his cool mentor is dating the professor at the lab like yikes that could end badly worst case scenario.)

(i like the idea of mirror playing along with todd's ki.nk, albeit a little awkward sometimes (not very good at being intentionally 'sexy' about it, but that's not what todd wants anyways bc it's already inherenty sexy for him). Phill has a message "I barely get half the stuff the professor talks about. Do you?" and i can only image if he said that to todd

todd: （人*´∀｀）i know it's hot

phil: what)

anyways i hope you don't mind me rambling even more on your asks like this. last time i totally just cut chunks out to be smaller but this time… i'm going to leave things in rip.

#ask #anon #thank you or bearing with me #i haven't been on tumblr the whole week oops #sammy be quiet #i have been thinking about them a lot though #alSO RIP I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT TENKYOU A LOTT TO BECAUSE OF YOU #listening to ina music on the way to work every day this week #but also now i've just entered tsubasa/sho hell because of the new gbf event #their previous event was in 2018 so it's been some time #i didn't except sho to ever get content again #and now i know he's gunna get a gacha release when the banner changes to gala #and i want him so bad #if i don't get him.......... i would be willing to later sup ticket his ass though it'll be a while til he'd be ticketable rip #cw kink mention ///////#the dpk au means a lot to me even now #also speaking of ina shipping my first ina ship tsunatachi and god there was a really good doujin artist on pixiv oh boy #some people on here would lose their shit over like so much of pixiv's content #idk man #i apologize if some stuff doesn't make sense bc brain just vomits out words and thinks everything is in the correct order

0 notes