#im sorry for texas i really am

[klanced]

Keith walking into the holding cell greeting all the regulars by name while Lance is sobbing lamenting that his life is over and his future is ruined (they were like. Trespassing or some shit he’s going to be fine)

lance: (actively dry heaving in the corner, on the verge of a panic attack as he imagines having a permanent record)(actually what does a permanent record even look like?)(omg is he going to have to go to COURT? like in JUDGE JUDY?)

keith: remy, this is lance. lance, this is remy, she’s my favorite alcoholic :)

[moonysfavoritetoast]

last time my mom saw mike and cat she told them my preferred name + pronouns and they’re supportive :3

[yoshistory]

i really fuckin hate my current roommate situation for multiple reasons. one of which is due to him deciding to quit her job immediately after i moved down here i had to be the only leaseholder with a secret roommate situation. and now. their gate system is changing and uses an app to open the gate with a verified occupant's phone number. fuuuuck im like banging my head against the wall

[vaguenotions]

I really hate feeling irrational and upset over food. One of the worst things to be upset about. It feels SO fucking stupid.

[jesterjamz]

@salemruinseverything none of these are correct but somehow the steak one is the closest out of all of these

have i even said why im going to texas in the first place

[niniluvsainz]

LOS ASTROS ☽ mv1

(social media! au)

in which their astrology signs match perfectly well together.

pairings... max verstappen x fem!model!reader

face claim... valentina zenere

warnings... suggestive content, cursing, isa is still with carlos in this (?), probably bad translations (reader speaks spanish)

author's note... this is my first fic so sorry if it's messy! i was listening to becky g's new album 'esquinas' and when i came upon this song i realized i would declare it as my song. it's also such a cute song, give her entire album a listen! also, i recently heard about the rumors about danny and heidi and i really hope they aren't true (there is a part in this where they are mentioned and i was too lazy to change it to someone else). if a part two is suggested, then i'd be happy to write it

maxverstappen1

location: texas, usa

liked by redbullracing, charles_leclerc and others

maxverstappen1 an amazing performance at circuit of the americas! thank you for the support! let's continue pushing for the next race! redbullracing, thank you team once again!

comments

user1 respect for verstappen button >

user2 im so tired of him winning

⤷ user3 keep crying hater

landonorris happy to share the podium with you

⤷ maxverstappen1 as am i, mate

⤷ user4 omg i love their friendship sm

user5 how can someone look so good

⤷ user6 because he's never looked so good

redbullracing happy and proud of you always, max!

yourusername

liked by isahernaez, tinistoessel and others

yourusername la vida recientemente (life lately)

tagged: tinistoessel

comments

isahernaez te extraño, amiga (i miss you, my friend)

⤷ yourusername pronto regreso a españa, para ver cuando nos juntamos! (i'm returning to spain soon, let's plan something!)

tinistoessel las perras que somos (the baddest bitches we are)

⤷ yourusername tienes toda la razon (you are so right)

landonorris oh damn

⤷ yourusername i miss you, noodles

isa: i have news

isa: i have extra tickets for mexico gp

y/n: but i have a tight schedule

y/n: i was just thinking maybe you, me, and carlos could have a night in to catch up

isa: but y/n, you have to come to a race

isa: carlos is also asking for you to accompany us to one

y/n: ugh

y/n: esta bien (fine)

y/n: i'll see what i can clear from my calendar to at least attend sunday's race

y/n: but i still plan on us having a movie night to catch up

isa: claro que si, amor (of course, love)

isa: i'll book ur hotel now

y/n: no tienes que hacer eso, isa (you don't have to do that)

isa: pero yo te invite 💞 (but i invited you)

yourusername

location: cdmx, mexico

liked by maxverstappen1, isahernaez and others

yourusername me encantaste, mexico! mandame taquitos al pastor a españa, por favor! (i loved you, mexico! send me some sheperd-style taquitos to spain, please!)

tagged: isahernaez, francisca.cgomes, alexandrasaintmleux, lilymhe, carlossainz55

comments

user7 where's max's tag tho👀

⤷ user8 right like we see that last post ma'am

isahernaez a la siguiente, amiga! (to the next one, my friend!)

⤷ yourusername ya me dieron mas animas de ir 😏 (i have more encouragement to go now)

user9 y'all notice max started following y/n AND liked the post without the tag?!

⤷ user10 something fishy is going on there

⤷ user11 honestly just waiting on the double date from these four

landonorris added to their story!

caption: so yourusername is wondering if your astrology signs align

replies;

⤷ yourusername this was supposed to stay a secret

⤷ user12 first we find out lando is obsessed with zodiacs, now y/n?!

⤷ user13 who are they tryna see if their stars aligned 🤔

⤷ oscarpiastri is this why i kept hearing you two scream "THEY MATCH" from the other side of hospitality?

⤷ maxverstappen1 y/n is into astrology? hm, maybe i'll look into it

⤷ user14 i love gemini women

maxverstappen1 added to their story!

location: são paulo, brazil

caption: catching rain in brazil☔️

replies;

⤷ user15 MAX EMILIAN WHO'S IS THAT HAND BECAUSE I HAVE BOTH OF MINE ATTACHED TO MY BODY

⤷ landonorris it was rare i was there THIRDWHEELING

⤷ user16 hold up who is that hand and why does that just scream y/n because of the red fingertips

⤷ danielricciardo ew stop you're already showing each other off

⤷ charles_leclerc wait until the lestappen fans come attacking like military soldiers

⤷ carlossainz55 wait is that- THAT'S THE JACKET I GAVE HER FOR HER BIRTHDAY

yourusername

liked by lilymhe, landonorris and others

yourusername se me juntaron las estrellas y los astros

comments

landonorris sure keep bragging about it to the single people

⤷ danielricciardo im not single and i feel single

⤷ heidiberger_ okay.

⤷ danielricciardo NO KEEP GIVINGME SOME SUGA

lilymhe ahhhh sososo happy for u and ur new man ! <3

⤷ yourusername thank u lils 🤍

user17 now you can clearly see she's trying to soft launch but that is the deadpan face of max verstappen

⤷ user18 no it doesn't (im living in delusion because i want max for me)

carlossainz55 quien es el? (who is he)

⤷ isahernaez no nos conmueve eso, carlos (that doesn't concern us)

⤷ yourusername carlossainz55 mi novio (my boyfriend)

maxverstappen1 so astros is also a shortcut word for astrology but also the baseball team the astros

⤷ yourusername exactly, maxie

⤷ user19 SHE HAS A NICKNAME FOR HIM. I REPEAT, SHE HAS A NICKNAME FOR HIM

maxverstappen1 and yourusername

liked by schecoperez, carlossainz55 and others

maxverstappen1 i'm happy shes the gemini to my libra

tagged: yourusername

comments

user20 y/n said soft launch, max said fuck that

user21 I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT

user22 AH NEW SHIP SAILED OFF TODAY AT 13:24 HRS ALL ABOARD THE MAXY/N

⤷ user23 its gonna sink like the titanic

⤷ user24 i hope u go sink like the titanic

landonorris so happy for my fwiends

⤷ yourusername now it's time to find someone for you for the double dates

⤷ user25 I VOLUNTEER! i volunteer as tribute!

user26 now max has two spanish-speaking natives on his ears at all times

⤷ maxverstappen1 yeah i have a mexican who keeps screaming the 'mexicanos al grito de guerra' and an argentinian who moved to spain who keeps slapping my butt like i'm the bull and she's the bullfighter

⤷ yourusername you are literally in the formula one team that is named a 'bull'.

⤷ schecoperez but you love us

⤷ yourusername schecoperez vamos a seguir con el plan de enseñarle todo el vocabulario español (let's continue with the plan to teach him all the spanish vocabulary)

⤷ maxverstappen1 wait i need to google translate what you said

carlossainz55 this is how i found out.

⤷ isahernaez sorry

⤷ yourusername sorry

⤷ maxverstappen1 sorry

⤷ christianhorner sorry

⤷ charles_leclerc i knew before you ?

⤷ carlossainz55 that's the last straw, leclerc.

[luckieduckiie]

im fried | d. dennis

you and your friend are in the club and you spot future… or you think you do.

the lights were dim, a little too dim some may say, but it didnt help that you were drunk either. too drunk, and well maybe a little high too.

“bro, is that future ?” you say to your friend, pulling her close, your eyes wide as you point to the dreaded man standing in the vip section.

“bitch!” she exclaims jumping up and down. “it is oh my god! OH MY GOD!”

a grin finds its way to your face as you look at her.

“im the shit bitch i know.” you say smugly. “ im going to go ask for a picture come one.”

you feel her hand grab your belt loop as she follows you throughout the sea of people, a chorus of excuse me’s and sorry’s stream from your lips as you finally get to the edge of his section. as you are looking up at him you notice the diamond smile he had on his face.

“sir, sir excuse me” you say, well yell. the noise was deafening.

he glances down at you and the smile widens.

“yes gorgeous.” he says, a slight southern drawl playing on his tongue and from the sound of that you should have know that it was indeed not mr hendrix as you had initially anticipated.

“ i love your music!” you say exclaim happily.

“ im sorry, what you say?” he questions leaning down over the edge of the wall that was between you two.

“ i love your music,” you say getting closer to his ear giggling. “ cause i am fried yes fried and very fucked up” you recite the lyrics back to him.

a deep laugh errupts from his as he stands back up causing you to look at him quizzically.

“so, can i get a picture?” you yell, confusion setting in.

“ yeah, yall come on up here sweetheart.” he says the word sending shivers down your spine. he motions for you and your friend to come.

he walks over and meets you at the entrance signaling the man guarding it that you could enter.

you immediately go in for a hug without thinking and your friend who is prepared snaps the picture.

“ oh ok, damn.” he laughs wrapping his arms around you large hands gripping your waist. you cant help but bask in his scent. it exudes sex and masculinity. it smells exactly as he look.

“you smell so good.” you say looking up at him head still resting on his chest.

the look he gives you says it all. “ thank ya.” he says smiling at you then licks his lips.

“ yo friend want one too mama?” he asks lowly eyes still locked on yours.

“oh, shit yeah.” you say pulling away, sighing at the loss of his body against yours.

“here girl.” you say reaching for the phone.

she goes over and just wraps her arm around his waist and his over her shoulder, the other going up into a peace sign. a sense of satisfaction arises in you as you see he didnt embrace her just like he did you but leaves as soon as you see the big smile on her face. she was happy for you and you the same for her, besides he wasnt your man anyway.

you click a few pictures and then she pulls away and thanks him coming back over to you and grabbing the phone to look at them

“yall wanna chill with us for a lil bit?” he asks motioning to the group of guys surrounding him.

“yeah.” you reply without even realizing, looking at your friend and she nods too.

“type shit” he says. you both follow him to the couch and as he sits he leaves room for you both on the side of him.

“so where yall from?” he asks looking between the both of you.

“ texas, but we go to school out here!” your friend answers smiling.

“type shit, what yall studying?” he asks curiosity genuine.

“im working on my masters in business and she is currently working on a phd in biology.” she says motioning to you. “she really smart as hell. tell him bout your research” she says smirking at you and you smile in response, her way of saying he yours girl.

his eyes widens as he look at you and you begin to explain, “ uh yeah my thesis is on the rate of duplication in cancer cells in african americans.”

“oh shit, you gone be a doctor.” he asks.

“thats the goal but i dont know shit is crazy.” you say staring at him. as you look you start to realize he is lacking nose piercings and the signature blond on his dreads.

your eyes widen as you come to the realization. “oh my God youre not future.” you exclaim standing up.

a loud laugh erupts from him and your friend stand up as well when she realizes this and she moves to your side.

“thats who you thought i was?” he is able to say between his laugh.

embarrassment burns through your body at this and you begin slightly angry.

“obviously!” you say irritation heavy in your voice.

as he notices this his laugh stops and smile drops.

“yo calm down.” he says reaching a hand out to grab yours and you pull away disgust on your face.

“dont fucking touch me.” you say grabbing your friend. “come on lets go.” you say grabbing her hand and pulling her towards the exit.

“what the fuck.” you hear him say behind you. you dont care, not only did he laugh at you, he lied to you. or at least in your eyes he did and that alone was enough to piss you off and ruin your night- your high too.

yall im really rusty at writing but i got the idea for this when i was high & i think i wanna do another part or two ! let me know what yall think cause there aint enough on here about dada

[itsjustaninchident]

I feel like an interesting prompt for Lando would be being with/meeting a girl he likes who isn’t an influencer or popular, just a regular girl who stays more private. (Me for example, a girl who lives in the middle of no where Texas, with a regular business office 9-5 job) lol

You Are in Love

Lando Norris x Interior Designer!Reader

socmed au

summary: seems like mclaren's driver is not available in the market anymore but the real question is, to whom?

warning/s: none

author's note: hello! I am so sorry for taking so long to respond to this request 😭 I didn't know how I would create this and I am still quite scared to take requests but here we are and I hope you enjoy it! A little warning I'm not very knowledgeable about America so I might have overlooked some things and I am sorry for that 😭 and also lmk~ I also chose interior designer as the career for the reader I hope you don't mind >< 🫶 Please request more!

Part 2

yourusername

Texas, USA

liked by yourbestfriend, yoursibling, and 129 others

yourusername another tiring week but at least i get to be a passenger princess hehe :)

view 10 comments...

yourbestfriend tell him to watch his back i CAN take you back 😏

yourusername dont worry bae im all yours 😉

yourfriend is this the london boy 🫢

yourusername well...

yourfriend when will we meet him👀

yourusername he's a little shy😆

yoursibling mom says she miss him more than u

yourusername i guess i have been replaced in the family now

landonorris

liked by maxfewtrell, carlossainz55, and 320,478 others

landonorris another normal but lovely week

view 1,093 comments...

user1 this is so out of character of him😭

user2 fr why is this kinda lowkey of him to do though👀

user3 am i thinking what you're thinking

user4 is he yknow the d word 😭

user7 okay pack it up people he can have a life that does not concern us at all

danielricciardo 🤠

user9 what's with the emoji

maxfewtrell when will u be back here

user5 oh OH

user6 since when are you interested in architecture 🧐

user6 trying to connect shit...

user7 no you're not go get a life

user8 baes take all your delusional asses elsewhere 😭

yourusername

liked by yoursibling, yourbestfriend, and 218 others

yourusername golf isn't as bad as i thought

view 2 comments...

yourbestfriend am i really about to lose you to some guy who drives in circles???

yourusername nah still urs babe 😆😘

landonorris

liked by maxfewtrell, pierregasly, and 530,789 others

landonorris golf kinda day

view 305 comments...

maxfewtrell you got beaten up bad...

landonorris she was just lucky

maxfewtrell sure...

carlossainz55 i guess ill replace you as my golf buddy

user1 why are his pictures so boyfriend coded lately?

yourbestfriend that's really a nice pic i wonder who took it? 🫢

yourusername 🤐

user2 the comments from max and carlos😭 who's able to beat this man in golf😭 i need to pay my respect

yourusername

liked by lilymhe, yourbestfriend, and 137 others

yourusername fun week in canada :)

view 6 comments...

yourbestfriend I should've went with you!

yourusername definitely! 😭 It will be so much more fun with u around luv :'(

lilymhe hope to see you again !

yourusername looking forward as well! I miss u alr 🫶

lando.jpg

liked by danielricciardo, carlossainz55, and 834 others

lando.jpg canada you were fun 😏

view 1,456 comments...

user1 DID HE JUST HARD LAUNCH?!

user2 I AM NOT SO READY FOR THIS

user3 i genuinely think he has no idea what he posted....

user4 LANDO WHO'S THAT IN THE 3RD PHOTO

danielricciardo mate I think you're not supposed to post the 3rd photo...

carlossainz55 she will definitely kill him

maxverstappen1 im here for it

maxfewtrell so much for being lowkey

this post has been deleted

lando.jpg

liked by pierregasly, danielricciardo, and 234,598 others

lando.jpg canada you were fun 😏

view 5,405 comments...

user1 no way you're trying to gaslight us

user2 man really said nope not today

danielricciardo i saw nothing

carlossainz55 me too

maxverstappen1 me three

user3 twitter fans gonna have a field day with this 😭

to be continued...

[marksbear]

Hear me out, 141 boys x southern/cowboy male reader, he wears the his hat and/or boots round base cause it reminds him of home

I can imagine Soap toying with him and making Wild West jokes and the like

Maybe even a reference to the “you wear the hat, you ride the cowboy”?

I'm listening loud and clear my friend! I love anything about southern people and their culture and all that jazz. SO I hope you like this!

And only Soap and Price IM SORRY! Its just that i'm in the hospital trying to get my shit together and physically I can't handle writing too much. But I will add more characters

141 Boys x Cowboy reader.

Soap!_________________________________________________________

🤍 "What's with the hat?" Soap asks looking at Y/n while he takes down an enemy. "What 'ch ya mean?" Y/n answers already knowing where this is leading. "The cowboy hat. Really? In the middle of battle." 🤍 BURST OUT LAUGHING WHEN HE HEARD YOUR ACCENT (But he literally can't be talking.)

🤍 He likes to mimic your accent. 🤍 "It's hot today in'it?" Y/n says sitting down on next to Soap in the base. "The hell did you say?" Soap asks whipping his head towards you. 🤍 BOY dies trying to understand you sometimes BUT always makes an effort to understand you. 🤍 When he first saw you wear a cowboy hat he almost fainted. He was weak in the knees when he saw it. 🤍 When it's Halloween he'll dress up as a thief/ outlaw and you be the sheriff. Both of you acting like the role. Next time he'll want to be a cowgirl while your the cowboy. 🤍 Loves it when you give him a cheesy nickname it doesn't even matter how strange it is to "Hey huckleberry." even to "Hi my horseshoe."

🤍 IF you can ride a horse he'll just go feral about it. Begs you to teach him how to ride or at least let him sit on the horse with you. 🤍 Steals your boots all the time. Like he does it so much and so often it's basically his boots as well. 🤍"I thin'ak you're in the wrong part of town." Soap says in his annoying fake southern accent whenever you go in the wrong direction or something. 🤍 "So...You live on a ranch or what? Or you live on a farm y'know with the animals and all that." "I told you millions of times. I live in a ranch over here, but I got me a farm in Texas." Y/n answers with a groan. 🤍 "Am I your stallion?" Soap asks after millions of things about southern states and their slang. "You? my stallion? Darling have you been searchin up southern things again."

🤍 He melts when you call him any nickname in your accent. Like knees weak. Even if it's an insult he wouldn't even care tbh.

🤍 Takes your hat almost everyday. Wear it around the base and run or hide when he sees yo

🤍 Downright submissive when you whisper anything to him with your accent.

Soap walking around the base suddenly stopped by a pair of arms wrapping around his waist holding him in a tight grip. "Did you know...You wear the hat, you ride the cowboy?" You whisper in his ear after sneaking up on him. Soap squirms in his arms. "C'mon since you always wearin my hat, how bout I show you the consequences."

Price!_________________________________________________________

💚 Understand the struggles of having an hard accent to understand.

💚 He tries his best to teach the team about your accent and the words you say to help them understand you.

💚 Likes to listen to your rambling or stories just to hear your accent sometimes. It makes him feel so calmed and at peace.

💚 You make him chuckle every time you give him a weird southern nickname. "Captain honeybee?" "Yes L/n?"

💚 Likes to compare accents with you and the others. Like one big group of men just swapping words in their accent or language.

💚 MAKES Asks you to read things for him.

💚 He loves the fact that your country.

💚 Likes to watch you from the far when your wearing your boots and hat he loves them so much and he thinks you look great with them.

💚 If you have a thick accent he will help you try to lose it even though hes struggling with his own.

💚 Quick to give you comfort when ever you miss home or something.

💚 Once a moth both of you go on a trip back to the country and y'all stay at a farm taking care of all the barn animals together. His favorite animal is probably the goats.

💚 Wears your cowboy hat when he thinks your not looking.

You give him your hat, watching him put it on his head. Price looks at you suspiciously when he sees your smug smirk. "You wear that hat, you ride the cowboy." Price stares at you wide eyed and a bit caught off guard.

THE END?? GONNA ADD MORE BOYS SOON!

[silly-circus]

★SillyString’s story/background★

(Way long overdue lmao and long I’m so sorry guys, also made some edits because I wanted to word some things better)

I want to start off by saying she is me, me is she(Im not sure if I made it clear or not so apologies I’m kinda dumb🫰). I say “her” in my posts instead of “me” because idk it feels right since I make her look differently than I actually do. Even so, we share the same name and I do the clown look all the time when I go out to places that I get an excuse to🧍‍♂️so really it is just me but anyway,,, time to begin! This is my first time actually writing this out so I’m sorry if it’s formatted and explained terribly

First off, Silly String is my persona’s clown name. She came up with it herself, everything else was Pennywise’s idea. She was originally a human, and still looks like one and has the appetite of one(when she changed Pennywise assumed she would want to eat people. He was wrong.) She lived in texas(yee-honk) before moving to Maine literally because she thought “why not?” and ended up in good old Derry. Her life growing up wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t the best. She was always into odd and strange things, or things that most would find creepy(clowns. Love clowns. They’re so cool) so she was kinda outcasted from others at a young age but soon people learned to just let her live in peace which of course she was happy about. She did manage to make some friends, solidarity. After moving, she continued pursuing freelance photography and painting, but her full time job is as a barista in a local coffee shop(wow, how interesting💀).

The way that she met Pennywise was kinda stupid. All she was doing was taking photos of the local wildlife and next thing you know a kid is running by before she notices a fucking weird ass clown creature from hell charging straight towards her(she still snapped a photo before running). He does catch up to her and jumps her. How she managed to not get away, but the kid did, don’t ask me. She survived, her camera unfortunately did not(he gets her a new one eventually guys trust).

since then, they kept bumping into each other. He does try to kill her again but she kept managing to escape him(pissed him off more and more each time) but soon enough he starts to chill out and basically decides to learn more about her. The more she realized he was going to not continuously try eat her every time he visited she would start asking him questions about who he was as an entity and where he came from. It does start out as a weird friendship where he would mess with her at work or appear out of literally no where to hang around. He does start to enjoy her company and watching her do normal, human things since her doing it made it seem entertaining. After a while of slowly getting closer and closer they become loving parters yay(she was still human at this time).

Fast forward and they get “married” which they really call their “eternal binding.” Basically what it means is that she became a part of him. As in if he dies, she dies. She unfortunately didn’t gain any cool shape shifting and such, she just gets to live and thrive as long as he does. When it first happened she was having a hard time with it simply because she’s going to outlive everyone she knows and will continue to, but over time she made her peace with it and saw it as a privilege to watch the world change around her and of course stay with her beloved.

Also the year they met was set in the 1980s, or honestly it could be any time after that or something I don’t know yall get creative I’m just going with the flow.

That is it :) sorry again this is long, and I hope every one has a good day/night(it’s 3 am why do I do this to myself). I also hope you guys continue to follow along with me on their lover clown journey :D

AND- little sneak peek of an upcoming piece I’m working on for Mermay 😙

[delimeful]

Really? You don’t find passive aggressive comments, such as your tags, do be impolite?

And how, exactly, is an ask button (which YOU enabled) that is commonly known to be used for requesting stories on Tumblr from writing pages impolite? Are you new to writing Tumblr? What do you think a majority of writers on Tumblr use that ask button for?

I’ve been a follower for a while but I’m pretty dissapointed tbh.

Anonymous asked: I noticed a reply from @/gstash So let me address that as well. No, of course I don’t expect everything immediately and for free, and I initially requested this story over a year ago. I also spent over $50 being subscribed to Lime’s Patreon specifically for this story, but I had to stop due to low finances. I was just trying to check on when it may be up soon, but I felt the response was rather rude.

(the added slash is mine, i didn't want to inadvertently @ anyone else in this debacle lol)

this is gonna be my final word on the matter because im sick of getting home from work to asks like these. anything else is gonna be deleted. feel free to go ahead and use your actual blog to reply instead of anon if you still feel that strongly about it.

i dont think my tags weren't passive aggressive they were just plain statements. no, i don't think it's impolite to express a boundary irt people asking me for updates. your indignation about this reflects on you, not me.

to clarify, badgering me for updates (verbatim: "Could you please please please post chapter 7") isn't impolite, just irritating. it was the decision to send another ask chiding me for my response that was impolite. kind of a dick move, as most involved in the tumblr writing community know. i genuinely feel sorry for the writers you follow if you genuinely only see their ask boxes as an opportunity to pester them.

i'm disappointed too, anon. i hoped that maybe keeping calm and sincerely explaining myself would be enough to prompt you to respond with empathy in kind, but instead you doubled down.

it seems like there's been a misunderstanding in regards to my patreon; there is no tier that ensures a specific chapter of a fic is updated within a specific time frame. that would be a commission, which is explicitly listed as a reward for my $30 tier, because those take a lot more time + energy for me.

my $12 patreon tier offers early access to my writing, and the ability to request future chapters be moved up on my to-do list, through polls + priority continuation requests. i can't guarantee any specific chapter update in a month, and i'll explain why.

currently, i have over 50 total WIP fics being worked on. each month, i get around 25 chapter update requests. even assuming that each chapter is 2k, my usual minimum chapter length, i would have to write 50,000 words every single month. if i had the capability for that kind of regular output, i would be churning out books like stephen king instead of constantly struggling for my usual monthly 10-15k like a chump lol.

in essence, don't subscribe to my patreon for a specific story unless you know the next chapter for it is already up there. which it is, because i eventually got to your request. and it'll eventually be up on the blog for free. and during the months you spent subscribed to my patreon, you received at minimum tens of thousands of words of content.

finally, an earnest request: please stop acting like twelve dollars is an exorbitant fee when i'm literally making pennies per word written. like, i could have worked a single 8 hour shift at mcdonalds in texas for minimum wage instead and i would have ended up with $8 more than you paid me for four months of many hours of dedicated work.

(not even a joke: 7.25 x 8 = 58.)

in conclusion, i am a human person with feelings, just like every other writer on this site. please take a moment to remember that when sending asks in the future

[patito-oward]

I recently found your account and I love it!!

Could you write a pato x reader who have been doing long distance and the reader randomly decided to surprise him?

im sorry ive been so MIA i love you all and miss writing for pato. life has been so. crazy. recently.

YN loves a lot of things about Pato. How adventurous he is, his love of animals, how outgoing and funny he is, but she does not love his job. Ok, maybe being able to say your super hot boyfriend is also a super cool race car driver has its perks, but him traveling so often is definitely not a perk.

When they met in October, YN knew she had found her person. She never believed in love at first sight until him. YN is a school teacher in San Antonio, working extra hours after school bartending to pay her bills. She met Pato when he visited the bar, and they instantly clicked.

If she had known he lived over a thousand miles away, she probably would have never answered his text. None the less, they made long distance work, Pato stayed most of the off-season in Texas, and by the time the season really picked up, YN was able to travel to many of the races on her summer break.

August has to be the worst month of the year. YN is exhausted, getting back into the rhythm of working two jobs, and she misses her boyfriend. She sounds childish even to herself, like one of her students who doesn’t want to separate from their significant other for chem class, but she can’t help that every night when she lays down she misses his body next to hers.

As the season is wrapping up, YN knows Pato is ready for it to be over. He misses his family and Mexico, and because he’s out of contention for the championship, he’s already focused on next season. YN knows that going into Nashville, Pato is dreading the entire weekend.

YN hates seeing Pato so upset, and wants to do something to cheer him up. After talking with Felix, who told her that all Pato does is mope around and complain that she’s so far (which secretly makes YN happy to hear), she decides to surprise Pato in Nashville.

YN was miraculously able to get time off from both jobs, making her able to take a long weekend to fly out and see him. After planning with Felix, YN was able to secure his schedule. When she arrived at the track, Pato would be in practice one, giving her plenty of time to sneak into his bus.

YN had a spare bus key from the summer when she was often at the track with Pato, and let herself into his bus. She decided to begin making dinner while she waited for him to come back.

As she put the chicken in the oven, she heard a key turn in the door. When Pato walks in and sees her, he drops his belongings on the counter and immediately wraps her into a hug.

“What are you doing here!” His voice is muffled by her hair, and she can’t see his face, but she can tell how excited he is.

“I missed you, and we’ve been apart for way too long, I wanted to come see you.”

Pulling back to look at her face he says, “You have no idea how happy I am to see you, I can’t believe your real.” He jokingly inspects her face, turning her head from side to side.

“You’re ridiculous” She laughs at him pulling his hands away from her face.

“You’re incredible.” He finally kisses her and she feels as if it’s scratching a month long itch. “By the way, if you don’t move to Indiana this year I’m sure to lose my mind.”

[stawpny]

Gov, after New York said something completely out of pocket: I sometimes wonder what goes on in your head. It keeps me up at night.

New York: I don’t like that you think about that.

(pause)

New York, again: I don’t like that you think about me.

—

(1950’s)

Massachusetts: No, York, you can’t do that, fucking dumbass

New York, really quickly: onlyredbloodedcommunistssaywhat

Massachusetts, puzzled: what?

New York: HE’S A COMMUNIST!! HIM!

—

Random Person: I can show you a magic trick!

Massachusetts: Really? Show me.

Random Person: Is this your card?

Massachusetts, horrified and frantically pointing at the person: WITCH!! WITCH!

—

Young New Jersey: Well, York’s got a bad case of “stupid disease” that unfortunately gets worse as the days go on.

Pennsylvania, almost losing it: What?

Young New York: Stop telling everyone I’m stupid! I am not stupid-

Young New York: OHMYGODAKITTY!!

Young New Jersey, overdramatic : What did I say? It’s so hard to see such a young child suffer.

—

Gov: Tell me truthfully, how old do I look?

California, a people pleaser: You look not a day older than 24!

Texas, an honest soul: Around 32-ish?

Florida, the one who’s whole purpose is to flex his age: You look like you’re 10 to me.

Louisiana, who is too drunk to say anything relatively normal: Uh.. 53! Yeah!

New York, too tired to care: You look fine. Can we get back to the meeting now?

—

New York, boasting about his height: You wouldn’t believe what it’s like to live with these short fuckers.

New York: I mean just look at them!

New York: It’s like im Snow White with the.. *counting* 9, sometimes 10, little dwarves. And they’re all the grumpy one!

New York, arguing: You about the same size of one of “Santa’s Little Helper” yet you don’t even help the fatass!

New York, still: You fucking elves. Go make toys or something.

—

credits: me!!

I’ve been thinking abt these for a while

sorry they’re very NY-centric 😿

oh yeah I’m alive btw

[grif-hawaiian-rolls]

@leonardalphachurch ASK AND YE SHALL RECEIVE (in reference to this post)

Donut thinks his fursona is a red wolf, all handsome charm and roguish double’o’donut vibe but NO he’s a collie to me, specifically a rough/scots collie— he’s pretty he’s fluffy, he does good work but theres nothing behind those eyes affectionately. Also he likes to be told when he’s a good boy DOING A GOOD JOB

Grif… would not make a fursona for himself, but I think Kai makes one for him a-la garfield (fat orange cat) and he appreciates the Iconic humor of it at least and u know what i do think kai is right in the cat aspect but more maine coon less garfield (still fat tho /pos)- the kind of big lazy cat that make you do a double take bc like is that a big house cat or a bobcat, ya know?

Simmons does not Want a Fursona thank you very much he’s not Weird (tm) I'm telling you, he is a chihuahua. Puntsized ball of anxiety that bites and thinks its meaner than he is(but still pretty capable of being a mean little bastard, just,, not as big of one as he thinks)

Sarge Knows his fursona is a bald eagle. Bc its American. Patriotic! Sounds like a red hawk! Even better! He’s a pitbull— big brick of a head, mean reputation, but he’s a protective kind of caring at heart and u know he’s got that Iconic pittie grin

Lopez is hard, honestly, and if you asked him youd either get No Answer, or something thrown at you i think but like his fursona is like transformer mech bullshit that no one ever wants to draw and if you commissioned it you get like 20+ complex design additional charges because the rivets have to be 100% accurate and if they arent he would Know, its not even a fursona really at this point its just a cool mech body he wont ever build bc he doesnt trust anyone else to not fucking break it but emotionally its his fursona - the fursona I assign him is a remote control warthog, bc im sorry dude but i cannot give you a proper fursona to save my life my brain just refuses to do it so, goofy shit it is

SHEILA is, wonderfully, a sea turtle. Specifically i’m partial to a leatherback for her just for the scale factor alone but just the vibe in general of just,, seat turtle fits her idk how to describe it. In character, i do think she would misunderstand the assignment and just be like “oh! Im a Scorpion” bc thats the casual term for the M808B main battle tank in halo

Church(A), like simmons, REFUSES to even Consider it (epsilon considers it a Lot okay, theta’s got some cool design concepts but keep it on the dl bud) but i think he’s gotta be idog from the early 2000s. But like an edgy one the kind that were born of 12 yearolds traced over google images of the normal ones and recolored into Original Characters (i think their shape is based on beagles iirc??? Or labs), but yeah those things. If pressed, epsilon auto answers wolf but in that asshole way that sounds like he’s being a dick about it but no thats his actual answer

Caboose is a great dane. He’s just Great like that!! Yay! Friend shaped, really not used to being uhh mindful of his size and strength but loyal and protective ya know?? He's the only one who i think would correctly clock his own fursona on the first try

Tex would claim something badass like a tiger or something, but she’s like,,, a mockingbird :) i mean it IS the state bird of texas, and well... shes not a mockery of anything but she isnt the og either, ya know

Tucker claims a fox, because he’s sly and bitches Love foxes but to me?? Bluejay. Brightly colored, loud, mean little corvid asshole. Too damn clever for his own good- i would also maybe give him peacock or kingfisher if feeling more like,, flamboyant but he just feels very jay to me. maybe its the corvid bastard thing, or the bluejay in my backyard choosing the tree by my window as prime screaming spot for 6 am yelling for like a month but the vibe is there

Kai has so many furry characters. With the worst application of color theory known to man but somehow it works for her brand??? Sparkle dogs man, the woman is made for making sparkle dogs!! If i assign her cat to match grif, it'd specifically the kind of like bengal, this cat climbs walls kind of cat you know?? Zoomies all day every day! BUt i think more accurately to Kai as a person? Raccoon. Mischief and little grabby bastard hands and she would love it

Washington, if asked would shrug and say probably a cat bc u know, nine lives and all that- no. Im sorry cat wash truthers I respect cat wash, but nah Washington is a dog boy to me im sorry and specifically he’s a little Jack Russell terrier thats fast and vicious but man sometimes u gotta remember he’s like,,, he’s smaller than a cat man you gotta give him some help ya know?? Dont make him do it alone!!!

.......Or a horse i dont know how to elaborate on that one just,,, trust me

Carolina is oblivious to the concept of fursonas almost entirely, but she’s a greyhound and you know im right

Locus is genuinely the hardest one to place and i dont think he’d come up with a fursona for himself, but he gets assigned wolf by Donut i feel it, the whole lone wolf thing he has going and all during his redemption! Which honestly???? Maybe yeah? An argument could be made for another working dog (HELLO German Shepards my god) (context here: i had a german shepard/corgi mix, he was my lil guy, he was too damn smart for his own good and patrolled the back yard fence up until he couldnt keep his hips underneath himself anymore and then! He! kept! trying! So yes that does influence my input on german shepard locus) i just struggle to see locus as a dog???? Dogs are very high energy which -gestures to red team- but locus rarely has that same baseline energy i associate with dogs??? He’s hard to pin down and i’ve yet to manage it but im partial to something arboreal,,, the first thing that comes to mind on that train of thought is a binturong and i lost it imagining that so sure we'll go with that i have a lot of thoughts about locus

Felix wouldve loved the energy of being like the lucky cat with nine lives. I personally dont care for felix, but he would be that guy with like, its not a proper fursona bc he wouldnt b caught dead calling it that, but he has a fursona for scamming people and driving up the prices on auctions for no reason other than to fuck with people when he's bored. I subscribe to weasel/ferret Felix personally, specifically a yellow bellied weasel bc theres just,, honestly the name amuses me with the implications. He’s difficult to catch and handle, energetic and gets into shit no one wants him getting to. It fits

Doyle is a mouse, maybe MAYBE a rabbit, he doesnt know what fursonas are either but he just checks the mouse box for me personally,, very holdable, but skittish and might still bite you if u scare him bad enough

Dr Emily Grey does not have a fursona but she does think theyre neat and has let her patients all give her one, tho none of them agree on what she is. I think she's a shrike, specifically a great grey shrike! they're VICIOUS little birds, who dont look like much but they regularly hunt shit twice their size and are also known for impaling bugs on thorns and like, barbed wire?? theyre neat, and technically i think they count as corvids? clever little hunting machines

Kimball is definitely a german shepard tho like while im on the fence about it for Locus, there is no question about it for her she checks the boxes fits the vibe right down to the way she guards the new republic and chorus with her heart just under her sleeve

Sharkface. Shark. I mean….really. SPECIFICALLY THO a tiger shark tho, and he would absolutely be a dick if you implied a great white or a megalodon would be “better” bc no tiger sharks are exactly the kind of shark he should be thank you VERY much

thats everyone i have STRONG fursona assignment feelings for, and some are more flexible than others or more solid in some cases but YEAH! i think about this shit. a lot sidebar: i think the chorusans who know and are open about fursonas would probably use weird alien animals from chorus when picking them which makes this harder for them specifically bc the ones who would have fursonas arent limited to earth animals

all images are from the wiki pages for the animals! except for lopez. thats from the amazon page for the warthog

[queenofallimagines]

Meet cute~

Isagi x fem Reader

A/N: Morning to all the baddies✌🏿Nothing gets you in the mood to write than starting something brand new and not working on WIPs😘 based off a rly cute TikTok I saw I think isagi would be one of the ones to meet his S/O in a super cute way

CW: black reader but not rly focused on, bad grammar it’s like 4:45 am sorry,foreigner reader, was gunna sneak in like artist reader or something but the way it’s so ambiguous is cute, Bachira the pot stirrer, he also knows Spanish a little,U-20 captain isagi?? polyglot reader, She’s afro latino, Isagi falling in love at first sight. Let me know if I missed anything!

TAGLIST: @priv-rose

"Did you see the way shidou kicked rin?” Bachira could barely breathe as memories of today’s practice filled his mind— he looked over at isagi, who was shaking his head in faux disappointment, trying to hide a smile.

“Course i did, poor rin.” Isagi chuckled, running a hand through his hair. the striker was about to add onto his sentence but the feeling of someone bumping into him distracted him. he peered over his shoulder, a small smile on his face when he saw who it was. “mm… you good?”

Looking up at him with apologetic eyes she anxiously rushes out her words.

“Ah, im Sorry!”

“It's fine, it was an accident, it happens." Isagi smiled softly, and that smile would remain on his face even as he noticed her hair. his eyes lingered on it for a moment too long, taking in the way it was pushed out of her face, the colour of it.

“Nice hair."

“Huh?” He watches as she brings a hand up to her hair reflexively fidgeting with it. “oh uh thanks. I like yours too….”

“You do? thank you, it's nothing special." He smiled still staring down at her hair. he realized he was staring and cleared his throat. After a brief moment, he spoke. Trying to clear the awkwardness.

“Hey, just out of curiosity, where are you from?" He fumbles out awkwardly internally wincing at how nervous he sounded. But he was curious as to the way she spoke. her accent sounded familiar to him, almost foreign.

“I guess but it really suits you! Shapes your face really well. And, I mean… if you’re asking where I was before Japan I’m from America.”

“Oh you think so?" Isagi's cheeks had begun to turn red, he could feel the blood rushing to his face as he smiled sheepishly Rubbing the back of his neck.

‘America? He was right, he thought. She spoke differently.’

“Ahh, you're an American, yeah? Is that why you speak funny?" He teased playfully, smiling down at her. Watching her wince a little at his words and he immediately felt embarrassment wash over him. Saying she talked weird wasn’t really polite was it? He watches as she chuckles nervously at him.

“ah, kinda? America has a lot of different accents depending on region so I’m not sure which one takes precedence when I speak Japanese. Nodding his head in relief she didn't deny it, so isagi decided to continue with his questioning.

“Okay, but what region are you from? Are you from the South?" Tilting his head slightly, his eyebrow cocked, curiousity sparking in his eyes.He tries to hide his smile as he watches her face morph into shock. Her eyes were really pretty from where he was standing…

“That easy to tell huh?”

“Yeah." Isagi snickers, he continued. "The way you speak….it's different— a lot more laidback, but not like the Tokyo-y, or Osaka accents. The American accent isn't quite heavy, but not super light either. There's no way it’s something like Texas, Florida, or California, but I'd guess somewhere in the South, closer to the South-east. Am I right?" Looking at her expectantly he can’t help but get lost in her eyes.

“….. Spot on again. I moved from Texas but I was born and raised in the east coast so sometimes I’m New York sometimes I sound more like Houston or New Orleans. Depends on the words I’m saying and how fast I’m talking.” He was actually surprised that he'd managed to guess correctly not one, but twice! With the way the corners of his lips crept upwards, he didn't realize how much he liked talking to her. As the conversation continued, he found himself smiling.

“Wow, so you're just all over the place huh, like a rainbow?" His heart fluttered hearing her giggle reach his ears. It sounded so melodious.

“yep!” Humming in thought he shoots her a smirk. “It'd be interesting to hear how you speak, like if you were super angry or something." The black haired boy teased, not realizing the flirtatious implication it could have.

“I’ve been told I talk faster and with more force so probably New York. And then I speak Spanish too so definitely that.” At the mention of her being able to speak a third language, Isagi's eyes widened. He leaned closer his curiosity growing.

“You can speak Spanish?"

“Mhm. My family is Latin American so Spanish fluency runs through my family.”

Isagi's eyes twinkled with an undeniable sparkle of curiosity. he was definitely intrigued. He’s only heard some of the players on opposing teams he’d play curse at him in Spanish but never actual full on sentences. his lips curved upwards slightly. "Can you speak it right now? If you don't mind." He watches as her eyes far around for a second before letting his again. He felt a little bad for putting her on the spot like that but not bad enough to take it back.

“Oh uh sure. Uhh” She hums for a second before clearing her throat.

“Hola, isagi y bachira. Encantado de conoceros. Los dos sois muy guapos.”

(Hi, isagi and bachira. Nice to meet you both. You are both very handsome)

Isagi's eyes widened with amazement, a look of pure joy on his face. he clapped his hands together. “That's amazing! You speak it so well!" His face flushed at the compliment.

“You know what, I have a question for you." His grin grew into a bigger, brighter smile. Her way of speaking had a certain musical quality to it. He watched her closely all the while, his eyes taking her in, and listening to the way she spoke. She'd said something about them being handsome he thinks? He looked at Bachira who'd been witnessing the conversation the entire while, he noticed his friend's eyebrows raise slightly, and a small smile come onto his lips.

‘Did she just call us handsome?’ Bachira mouthed to him. He knows Bachira definitely isn’t fluent playing in Spain and spending time around Lavinho he must’ve picked up on some. He understands it better than he does English anyway. Feeling his heart racing he looks at her without missing a beat.

"Can I try something?" His gaze didn't waver from the way her lips curved at the sides, her smile being a mere testament of her good features.Quirking an eyebrow at him she looks at him confused for a second before cautiously replying.

“Okay?”

“Say my name." Isagi said, his words laced with a soft breath. Taking half a step closer he watched her lips closely, taking in how each syllable looked as it left her lips. He heard her breath hitch as those beautiful eyes widen looking up at him.

“Yo- I mean Isagi Yoichi.”

He couldn’t help but smirk at the way she said his name. he'd told her to do so, he'd expected it, but the way she'd said his name had his heart beating out of his chest..

"Say Bachira." She chuckles smiling at him confused but obliging him anyway.

“Bachira.” Isagi's gaze remained fixated as he watched her lips form each syllable. He was enjoying this and his brain hadn't quite caught up with the fact that he was enjoying this.

“Say your own name." She smiles at him before speaking her own name. He can’t help the shiver that runs up his spine. The way the words flowed out of her mouth like honey, her tongue curling around every vowel. He would do anything to hear her talk forever if he could. The way her accent was almost hypnotic to his ears. It seemed even her name had no special effect on him.

“I have to tell you, your accent is so cute." He tilted his head slightly as he continued.

"One more thing." The stunned look on her face had him biting back a smile. That deer in headlights look was absolutely precious. It wasn’t until then did he notice the difference between them. The way she looked up at him made something inside him go absolutely wild.

“Oh. Uh thanks.”

“How about you say... isagi yoichi is an absolute cutie?" He teased playfully. He knew when saw her flustered face he had to tease her just a bit more. Like if he’s gunna try and shoot his shot he’s going to put himself at an advantage. Grinning, he was having so much fun, he forgot Bachira was watching the two of them carefully now. His eyes darting back and fourth between the two.

“Yoichi Isagi es precioso.”

The athlete felt his heart stop. He wasn't actually expecting her to do it! And so quickly without any hesitation. He was stunned into silence. His jaw had dropped and his cheeks were blazing bright. Bachira hadn't missed or misread what had just happened. He laughed quietly, a smile tugging at his lips.

‘Damn.. Did that really just happen? Talk about matching energy.’

She laughing seeing his flushed face. He looked like he was trying to find words but forgot how to speak at all.

“Uh,you ok?” Isagi who was was still blushing, lifted the corners of his mouth tilted upwards in embarrassment and joy. Bachira was just barely holding back a laugh. When he found his voice he finally managed to speak after a moment.

“Y-yes. I'm very okay." Isagi's voice was still laced with embarrassment, but he continued anyway. “Can I ask you something though?”

“Hm?”

“Do you have a boyfriend?" His voice still laced with embarrassment, but there was genuine curiosity behind it now. He tries to steady his heart as he looks at her expectantly. He watches as she looks at him surprised stuttering out her words.

“W- I- no?? Like I don’t. I don’t have a boyfriend.”

Isagi nodded, his mind reeling. This day was wild already, she was flirting with him, he was flirting with her– it was really something else. He couldn't deny that the idea of her not being taken was something that gave him the confidence to continue.

"You don't?" He asked again, this time a little slower just to hear her say it. His eyebrows rose, his cheeks were hot with embarrassment, his mind began to race. Deep blue eyes remained on her, he couldn't help staring. He didn't need any other confirmation other than this. he smiled softly, trying to hide just how happy her answer made him.

“Oh, So that means there's no one who'd come and beat me up if I asked you out?" He asked her jokingly, but his voice still remained soft.

“o-oh uh no that wouldn’t happen….” Smiling wider as he caught onto the fact that she'd blushed. She was too adorable, the way her eyes were looking at everything but him. Her hands nervously pulling at her shirt. That, and her soft, smooth voice was sending him into a state of bliss.. And he was starting to get carried away. His grin grew.

“Wellll... Can I ask you something then?"

“Y-yeah?” Shyly looking up at him he noticed the tips of her ears looking red.

“Would you like to go out with me?" He had put all his cards out on the table now and was waiting in anticipation as he asked her. He could hardly believe that he'd gotten to the point of asking her this. His heart was beating out of his chest and there was something happening in his stomach. It wasn't pleasant... The nerves were eating away at him.

“Mhm….i would.” Isagi felt his breath catch in his throat as she agreed. His cheeks were heated, his palms were sweaty, his fingers were trembling. He couldn't breathe. Everything about this felt surreal, there had to be a catch. But, no. It was really happening, he really just asked her out on a date and she agreed.

“Really?" He watches intently as she rocks on the heels of her feet looking away from him. “Mhm.”

His heart was still beating out of his chest. His whole body felt tingly as his cheeks grew hotter. Her answer had taken him by surprise, it'd been a lot easier than he thought it'd be to ask her. His eyes were drawn towards her lips, they were so cute and looked so soft…

Just before he could say anything though, Bachira coughed.

"Isagi?"

Jolting she glances over at him flushing in embarrassment forgetting he was there. She’d completely put all her focus on the boy flirting with her. Bachira looked more like an amused observer, his lips curled up into a small smile. Isagi was flustered to have been caught staring, he snapped out of his thoughts to glance over at him. He felt his face grow even more hot.

“W-what?"

He felt a wave of embarrassment slack him in the face as his friend’s laughter rang out. he'd been enjoying watching what was going on behind the scenes. Bachira's teasing was usually directed towards Isagi, who was easy to tease. So, seeing him be the one getting teased for once and being affected this much by was entertaining.

"You're all red, man.." Bachira teased, the corners of his lips remained curled upwards.He whips his head around to hear the girl snickering at him, hand over her mouth.

“Shut up." Isagi tried his best to sound annoyed, but his voice came out sounding flustered. He was very flustered, he was still red like a tomato. His mind couldn't seem to come up with anything else.. The only thing his body was focused on was her. Her pretty face, her soft voice, her sweet smile, her laugh…. Flinching he felt her grab his hand and he froze.

“Here.”

His heart skipped a beat as she grabbed his hand and held it firmly. He couldn't help, his eyes went wide and his jaw dropped. Was she really holding his hand? Her touch was so soft... her grip was gentle, yet firm.. He found himself trying not to close his eyes in that brief moment. She steps closer to him turning to hold her hand in front of him. He was hoping she couldn’t feel his heart beating out of his chest as her back pressed up against his chest. He feels frozen where he stands as she writes her name and number across his wrist.

“How about you can decide after you win your next game yeah? I’ll be watching so don’t disappoint me.”

His eyes remained on her as she wrote her number down on his wrist, their thumbs grazing together and sliding together for a brief moment. The feel of her grip on his wrist had Isagi's body tingling and his mind racing. He was taken aback by her gesture, but his mind was only focused on one thing right now. She wanted to watch him? She'd be there... watching him? Isagi couldn't help, he grinned, his pulse was rising. Once she finished she moved away from him letting his wrist fall. Capping the pen she held she tapped the end on his nose smiling at him.

“Don’t disappoint me now pretty.” Isagi was startled by her words. For the first time in his life, he was called pretty. His cheeks went red and that one word alone caused his entire world to stop moving around him, he felt so warm.

“I don't plan on it. You'll see, I'll be impressive." He said, his tone was much more confident than he'd meant to sound. She rolled her eyes at him letting a huff leave her lips.

“I’ll definitely hold you to that Mr egoist.”

“Oh?" Smirking he was aware that she was teasing him.He chuckled as it was his turn. “You have no idea..I'm gonna do my damn best to go all out in the game and win." He was already confident. His ego was growing, but he didn't mind that. He had every right to be confident with the skills that he had. His cocky smile remained on his lips.

“I expect to see you there?" He watches as she swallows hard looking up at him. She felt her face heat up at the look of determination in his eyes.

“y-yeah definitely. I’ll keep my eyes on you the whole time….”

Now isagi could feel the adrenaline running through veins. This was all so new to him, the way she was acting so flirty, the way her eyes were on him and her cheeks were flushed just by his look.. The way she was talking right now was making his whole world spin again. Smiling he was enjoying the feel of all those butterflies. He let go of her hand finally and he looked away for a second.

“Okay, then. I guess I'll see you there." He finally said as he turned to leave. Clutching his jacket in hopes to stop his heard from beating so loudly in his ears. He was on cloud 9 and he couldn’t even process this moment being real.

“Yeah… bye yoichi. See you there.” Isagi waved at her, turning to exit. He felt her eyes still lingering on him as he went. His mind was filled with so many thoughts right now. He couldn't believe that he'd done that, he couldn't believe that it had happened... But, it did happen. He had got a date. He had a date with the prettiest girl he'd ever met. That didn't seem real, and he couldn't be happier about it. As he left the gym, Bachira was waiting for him with a smug look on his face.

“You got a date?" Bachira asked, watching him as he approached. Isagi's cheeks were glowing bright red, his grin was infectious. "Shut-up." Isagi snapped back, clearly feeling flustered still. His hands were trembling ever so slightly and he was aware that it was all over his facial expressiosn. He attempted to hide his emotions but to no avail, he was just too excited for his own good.

“Awwwww Come on, you can't lie! I can see it all over you, your face is bright red and your lips got this dumb grin on em. You're down bad when you're flustered, and the way she was looking at you? Yeah, you got a date." Bachira said excitedly as he watched his friend trying his best to hide his emotions.

“Shut. up." He said, a hint of frustration in his voice. Isagi didn't want to acknowledge that his friend was right, but he had a point. He was right. Isagi could still feel her hand on his wrist. He felt like he could still feel her breath on his skin. His cheeks were red, his hands were shaking. All because this damn date.

[lovelyrotter]

okay but i actually kinda wanna know ur take on stridercest being canon compliant O_O <- autism stare

oh hey i am also hitting you with the autism stare. ill try to get my thoughts down in a way that makes sense to more than just me hahaha

bear in mind that im an epilogue lover and i think Meat/Candy are really valuable pieces that further all of the characters and are also hard canon in the sense that we're looking at just 2 post-game universe outcomes out of an uncountable number (the book in the picnic basket representing post-canon fanfic). i think the characters actions in the epilogues make sense and are satisfying to me. yes even jane (i love alpha jane and i will not do her the disservice of 'cleaning her up' w/o showing her work for it. thats not how you depict a character who grew up with fascist programming). i could totally go on a whole tangent about this specifically but thats another post lol we'd be here forever and its also not stridercest

but okay. canon stridercest. under the cut cause it got kinda long

basically it has to do with the cherubs and how their relationships and mating rituals are pretty obviously incestuous leaning even though cherubs dont have the human concept of Siblings or blood family. the cherub who predominates will search across paradox space to mate with another cherub who closely resembles the cherub they predominated which is like textbook Freudian sexuality. theres a lot of Freud and Jungian stuff in HS imo even if im kinda [wobbly hand gesture] at the validity of these theories applied to real life and real people. but theyre super fun tools and lenses to use in fiction and i mean. gestures at all of dave

so the incest aliens cherubs. the whole reason why im talkin about them is bc Caliborn is so incredibly interested and invested in the Striders in particular. caliborn as both Lord English and Lil Cal shapes earth NOT OVERTLY but more so embeds himself in earth society, but again, the Striders lives in particular. dave is full of incest jokes. hes even apparently got a list of his friends arranged in order of how likely theyd incest-elope with each other (thank you epilogues for this amazing factoid). he seems to think about it often enough to, yknow, Do That. have a good solid think about that and construct an organized list about it. bearing in mind dave makes jokes about stuff thats a) bothering him, or b) generally camping out in his brain. hes not even really aware of it most of the time (as we see in one of the openbounds where hes all 'why am i thinking about puppets???' after seeing dirk for the first time in that dream bubble. he is thinking nonstop about dirk at that point and going off his only frame of reference for ANY dirk, which is his bro. his bro who was most likely deeply warped by Lil Cal)

sorry for the long blocky paragraph lol. but now onto the next thing

Caliborn as Lil Cal is the centerpiece in the beta strider apartment. dave cant escape him and beta dirk grew up with him. what the fuck do you do when youre childhood comfort item is also the most evil creature across all of paradox space? if youre a dirk you try to fight it. but how long can you keep fighting something like that. its safe to say that bro was affected by Caliborns particular brand of perversion and sfw kink. i dont think i have to say how insidious abusive and toxic he is about those things. and looking at the truth of beta bro (16yo alpha dirk) you can start to see just how warped beta bro became. beta bro is a false dirk (still a very Real dirk but not the Truth of dirk. beta bro has been toxified and made infinitely worse by an absolute evil influence over decades of life. in 80s fuckin texas. presumably in the system. anyone would be fucked up after that)

so for this analysis/theory im stating beta bro as a false persona. using jungian terms he is apha dirk's shadow

both dave and dirk live with a fake, carefully manicured version of their bros. they live with personas (or shadows of their guardians on the walls. hello platos allegory of the cave). they dont actually know e/o and they dont until the striunion

alpha dirk especially grows up embedded in the Public Persona Of Dave Strider 400 years post mortem and completely alone with unlimited internet access. hes a self admitted expert on his bro and we dont get to see a lot if any of his early childhood but i can hazard a guess at how much he clung to that persona of his bro. he fuckin idolizes dave. he LOVES dave. right off the bat he is in some kind of love with dave and i think if you try to argue against that then thats you slippin. i think youre a fool and have to reread homestuck because i wholeheartedly believe the striders loving eachother is part of the win state

once again this is speculation cause we get barely anything about alpha dave, but from what we already know about him im guessing this bro-persona is

achingly effortlessly cool

oozing masculinity (toxic or not, not really interested in categorizing that although toxic coolboy masculinity IS something the striders contend with & is an important facet in their lives)

a skilled fighter

a dedicated moviegoer (hes a director need i say more. this one is probably the only genuine thing about his on-screen persona)

and now lets look at jake. someone whos grown up on pretty much nothing but movies, whos doubtlessly been influenced by hollywood and its idea of gritty 'main character' masculinity through that, and who also clings to more old-school ideas of manliness (think victorian/edwardian era gentlemanly-but-loves-a-good-scrum kinda manly. moustache twirly with a monocle kinda manly. basically everything that grandpa harley is)

but okay lets look at what jake wants to be. lets take a look at his teenager persona

achingly effortlessly cool (his own 'hollywood star' kind of cool also def influenced by his favourite characters like lara croft who is indeed achingly cool. you see him succeed in inhabiting this hollywood star persona on earth c)

oozing masculinity (the old school manly mans-man kind)

a skilled fighter (two pistoles always. harder to aim cause you cant use a free hand to make up for kickback. that takes skill)

a dedicated moviegoer (again one of the only genuine parts about his persona. his questionable-to-wretched tastes aside. but bearing in mind that the SBaHJ movies are intentionally bad which is what makes them loop around to good. such is the nature of intentionally 'bad' art. jake fuckin lives in this perpetual bad-good art loop. okay enough with the art tangent keep focused man cmon)

because dirk has obviously way more contact with jake i dont doubt he sees through jakes own (admittedly way more flimsy) coolboy persona but the point still stands i think. different flavours but the same kinda guy. dirk has a type and i dont think its a stretch to say that hes looking for aspects of the bro-persona he grew up looking at in other boys, much like the winning cherub looking for the one they lost in the cherub theyll mate with

also wtf is with dirks obvious boner for dave chasing him across paradox space to decapitate him huh?? the last few sentences in Meat are about that very thing. he wants to fuc fight dave sooo bad. haha remember how the cherubic mating ritual is one of the most violent and long running spectacles in paradox space? i sure do