#im so used to being behind in the story bc of always getting distracted by events or just not playing much besides dailies bc of uni

[acaciapines]

for the ask game, answer whichever of these speak to you the most: 4, 5, 11, 14 :D

HI ASH MY LOVE ASH.

oh they ALWAYS speak to me. i answer All. i will not be contained.

4. How many WIPs do you have right now?

actually shockingly few! ever since i finished my big owl house editing pass back in june i've not done a whole lot in terms of projects...and recently i've been playing rain world so instead of writing im playing rain world like 24/7. currently my only main project is the dess raises kris au, and in that 'verse the only thing i'm writing right now is a dess/chara relationship study. i WOULD finish it, but, uh. rain world. (<- guy who is trying so hard not to write rain world fic. i probably wont but also i am always tormented by ideas. but consider i have to tell the story of my slugpup scooter SCOOTER I WONT EVER FORGET YOU--)

5. What's a fic idea you've had that you will never write?

probably countless that i do not remember right now! but digging around through my drafts, i've got a few deltarune daemon aus that won't ever see the light of day...one of them was a fangame where the player played as one of kris's two daemons, and the other was a fic where ralsei was kris's daemon. the ideas from there have basically been repurposed elsewhere--a lot of my kris&ralsei stuff went into various works, and the fangame stuff is being reworked into the dess raises kris au.

beyond that, in terms of things that are actually abandoned and won't be used elsewhere, there are so many daemon aus that i've left behind for one reason or another, though the gravity falls transcendence au is the one that i think was the best...that one postcanon his dark materials fic i was gonna write where lyra and pan return to will's world and cause general shenanigans there with him and kirjava...a vera-centric son of sea foam wings of fire au because vera is the love of my life and i was rereading wings of fire bc i felt nostalgic....oh my god fantasy high SOPHOMORE YEAR FIC, which i tried to start TWICE, once from fig's pov and once from ayda's that was their road trip back home and i have some very funny snippets from...MY INFINITY TRAIN DAEMON AU WAIT THAT ONE STILL GOES SO HARD ACTUALLY. okay drop everything ive ever said the fact that i never wrote my infinity train book two daemon au is a travesty. i was cooking with that one.

11. Do you have specific playlists for writing fics?

sort of! i usually always have at least one or two songs i connect to any given fic, but in terms of what i listen to when actually WRITING, it's changed over the years. i used to put on compilations of video game music--usually utdr, pmd, and then just whatever got recommended to me lol--then i did like. those character playlists people make on youtube? mostly bc they tended to pull from the same pool of songs so it became good background noise lol. now i use the youtube mix or whatever its called for a similar reason--it tends to play the same handful of songs ive listened to a lot, so they dont distract me.

14. If you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as comic or film, which fan fic would you pick?

oh i LOVE this question, and it would be without a doubt my nimona daemon au oh, are you at all like me. nimona itself is obviously both a comic and a movie, and i'd say animated film since the fic follows the movie plot more--i think there'd be a LOT of really cool scenes you could get with that fic. i also think i could make killer animatics based on my fics if i could draw good enough <3 and thats not a joke i have scripts and sketch storyboards and everything. maybe one day i'll finish one of those.

[arillustrated]

ok so like i can't figure out why mizu was so disturbed by kinuyo's death... even tho it should be so obvious to me i just can't put it into words ?? it was so sad. i thought at first maybe it's bc she's acting as the protector she wish she'd had as a woman (aside from swordfather) but idk if that makes sense in my head. like. idk. it was just v quick and gentle but rly damn sad tbh and she was shaken from that point

(im going to use they/them pronouns for mizu not for any hc reason, its just for legibility. i just woke up so my train of thought is. there. itll be easier to read if there aren't 5 different she's that im referring to)

i think that what you're talking about is apart of it definitely, because i think that mizu associates womanhood with safety. it's something that they themself are not allowed to have because danger follows them regardless of where they go. this is also why i think mizu lets akemi be taken by her father's men, specifically emphasizing that being a wife to the emperor is a good life. which is a weird choice, but one that makes sense for mizu because they would be thinking about their own experience as a wife. mizu's happiest days were when she was married to mikio (less bc of the marriage and more bc they weren't constantly thinking about revenge but mizu hasn't made that connection). to mizu, being a woman is a life that they aren't allowed to have, as repeated throughout their childhood, because hunters will always come. their identities can't coexist, they can't be a woman and mixed race.

when mizu kills mikio, it's not because they think he sold them out to the hunters or because he killed their mom. mizu kills him because he stands in the way of their revenge. this is their justification for everyone they kill. the moment anyone gets in the way, everything that mizu unleashes on them is justified. when mikio and mizu's mother are fighting behind them, mizu realizes that they have let themself be distracted from their quest. revenge will always come looking for them, and the hunters were their wake up call. so after this, mizu is completely focused on their mission, represented by mikio literally being out of focus on screen. when he dies, he is just another blameless person standing in the way of mizu's revenge.

there are two things that i think make kinuyo's death worse for mizu. the first is that kinuyo had struggled and been abused all throughout her childhood, and when she had finally found safety, it was ripped away. the circumstances are different but im sure this hits home for mizu. kinuyo's story, albeit for different reasons, mirrors mizu's own tragedy. mizu sees themself in kinuyo, which is obviously hard to reconcile. the second reason is that kinuyo is a side quest. she's not another character standing in mizu's way, nameless and blameless. mizu can't justify killing kinuyo the same way they do everyone else.

[jasonntodd]

Hi, I'm sorry if you've addressed this somewhere already but what happened to your Mass Effect mods on Nexusmods? I was just about to download your practical bodies mod when I noticed they were hidden. Just wondering if you hide them while you update or if you were overhauling your mod pages? I adore your mods for ME3 :]

hi! i’m flattered and thank you for liking my mods. i’ll use your ask as an announcement for those who are following me for mass effect modding - i hope that’s okay.

thank you to everyone who has supported and downloaded my mods these past few months. i’m forever grateful for the support, even though there were definitely moments that made me extremely sad and upset due to the hateful and misogynistic/homophobic/transphobic comments i would receive on my mods. while not the reason for my hiatus, i have to say, who knew buff women would trigger so many people? it certainly hasn’t helped getting the amount of hate these past few months. but modding definitely helped me (or at the very least, distracted me) during the last couple of months which have been extremely rough for me mentally, so i’m grateful to have discovered it and through it, the amazing community.

however, due to reasons i’m going to be taking an impromptu hiatus for a little because im feeling pretty conflicted due to it. i know this is sudden but i’ll still be active on my tumblr like always and my ao3 for those who follow me for my stories, so you guys can send me asks and whatnot and i’ll answer. if you’ve followed me for a little, you’ll know i love to just shitpost and reblog things and tumblr has been a safe space for me for a very long time - but i’m taking all of my mods off nexus bc i’m not comfortable with keeping them up for the time being. some things have happened behind the scenes and i personally don’t want to keep them up right now because it’s upsetting - i know i posted some WIPS over the past few days and they were exactly that, but due to said issues that just happened those will have to remain in limbo as i figure some things out.

things might change of course and i may bring the mods back sooner rather than later, depending fully on how i’m feeling at the moment, but until i’m comfortable enough to do so, they’ll remain hidden. i really do apologize for the inconvenience. if you want the mod, i have no problems sending it to you if you message me off anon. this also goes for anyone else as well!

thanks always for your support; it definitely meant the world to me.

[dwarfsized]

12 13 14 for the fic writer ask gameeee mwah

12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you?

I used to loathe miscommunication but it has grown on me because it really is just like that on this bitch of an earth, but it has to be motivated by something. it cant be, like, stupid. if the miscommunication is stupid i will still click the back button with extreme prejudice. when two characters think they are having the same conversation but are in fact having two different conversations, that is fun but it used to drive me up the wall.

13. Are there any tropes you used to like but don’t anymore?

if AUs count as tropes there are several modern workplace-setting aus i simply cannot tolerate now that ive worked in those settings (bookstore, daycare) like sorry but i am not going to be able to conduct a romance with someone at the check-out counter bc of their impeccable taste in literature. they havent even read those books yet and ive been on my feet for 6 hours. i want to go home. i was reading fanfiction on my phone behind the register, and this witty banter is interrupting me. go away.

also this is not meant to cast aspersions on people who write this au in this fandom, chase your bliss, but one time i saw someone do a Mandalorian daycare au and like im so sorry but id never be able to fall in love with Mando if grogu had been in my infant class, he'd be the kind of parent id have hated. he'd never talk enough at drop off to tell me what i needed to know, always blame me for his kid getting into fights, sir stop bringing your gun inside the building!! enemies to worse enemies. grogu might have been my favorite kid but god, his fucking dad.

14. Are there any tropes you would only read if written by a trusted friend or writer?

i will only engage with certain characters in certain fandoms Being Parents--even via Accidental Baby Acquisition-- if certain writers are doing it or if its thoroughly tagged such that i think i know exactly what kind of story the author is trying to tell because. i do not trust people. :') why are all of these characters parents in the endgame? do these writers actually know them? that is not my little guy. crying. screaming. throwing up.

Also because I've worked with infants and!! So many people writing those stories know fucking nothing about children and it shows. It shows! and its so distracting! why is the newborn making meaningful eye-contact and smiling at people on purpose. it should not be doing that. is the child haunted. is the baby possessed.

[maladaptivedaydreamsx]

⚠️ (minor spoiler alert for ch20 i guess?)

you know..... it's pretty ironic that i'm just finishing chapter 20 now, nearly a year after starting obey me.... so i quite literally finally made my final pact with lucifer towards the end of the exchange student time period.... funny how some things work out, huh? 👁👁;

[shotowoki]

WHAT WHICH BOY YOU SIMP FOR IN BNHA SAYS ABOUT YOU

—i.midoriya, k.bakugou, s.todoroki, d.kaminari, e.kirishima, dabi, s.aizawa

disclaimer: this is a generalisation and just a bit of fun. of course not all the descriptions will fit everyone so please take these with a grain of salt. if you are on the sensitive side, just sit this post out bcs i don’t want to offend anyone :( this also does not include EVERYONE in bnha so if you guys really enjoy this one, i will consider doing more!! enjoyyyy. slight nsfw disclaimer.

IZUKU MIDORIYA: first of all, i love you. you are the sweetest person ever. but sort your trust issues out. you probably don’t love easily, but once you do love someone, you put your all into it. you just want to love and feel loved. perhaps you have some sort of abandonment issues and liking izuku feels like a safe space. how could a sweetheart like him leave you?? exactly. unrelated but you probably are weird. you give me wheeze laugh vibes as well. your childish but in the best way possible.

BAKUGOU KATSUKI: are you ready to finally go confront your childhood traumas instead of using fanfics/fandoms as a form of escapism? you probably have a degradation kink im not even going to lie. you’ve developed a saviour complex but it’s honestly just a projection of what you wish someone would do for you. you treat your love for katsuki the way you wish others would treat you; loving you past all your flaws. you’re probably, honestly, the nicest, kindest and most selfless person behind the walls you’ve built up. i literally just want to hug you.

SHOUTO TODOROKI: you like hot men with trauma… there’s nothing wrong with that… haha. let me guess, you probably also like akechi, cloud, diluc, venti, xiao. you honestly just probably trauma bonded with todoroki and wish you could treat him better than anyone else in his life. once again PROJECTION. you are a big softy and love affection, but ironically, you are touch starved. you were always told you were mature for your age and definitely dealt with your issues alone. and it shows because you are insanely independent and strong minded. you give me an intelligent and playful vibe. the best of both worlds :)

DENKI KAMINARI: you’re just here for a good time, you know. you picked a boy who was good looking, dumb and flirty. lets be honest, do you lowkey want to feel superior to the people around you? you also self-insert into every scene denki has with jirou…anyways, you’re easily distracted, childish and annoying. you had a nightcore, fnaf phase when you were younger and i know it. you picked denki because you either want to dominate the shit out of him or let him dominate the shit out of you. there’s no in between. you always like those skinny musicians and those playful flirts who you’ll never get a chance with. do you like kaeya and childe by any chance? go touch some grass.

EJIROU KIRISHIMA: you’re a raging bisexual. you actual pick guys who won’t treat you like shit. respect is your number one priority from other people. you definitely like being chased or you like it in theory. unlike the others on this list, you don’t chase. you give me bad bitch vibes (regardless of gender). i feel like despite liking kirishima, you are extremely lazy. yeah, i don’t think he would find that very manly of you. regardless, you just want to be babied and cared for by your partner. you probably like rpg games, some sports and you have those aesthetic home screen layouts. you know the ones i’m talking about. i feel like you’d be incredibly sarcastic 24/7 and a lowkey crybaby :’)

DABI: is everything okay at home? you are one self destructive person. very similar to people who like todoroki, you just love hot guys with trauma. but you’re more spicy. you probably cry over his back story before going to read nsfw fanfics about him… pick a side you horny freaky fuck. lets be honest, you see broken people and think “yes, i can fix them”, right? please be safe out there. i would not even be surprised if you liked the joker or something. i feel like you’re a very fun person though. youre with whatever and love new experience. you are very open minded and always want to see the best in other people. i can’t imagine u being anything but a massive heterosexual… i’m so sorry. unless ur nb/male, then you’re a massive fruit.

SHOTA AIZAWA: daddy issues go brrrr. i’m joking, but seriously you definitely find figures of authority attractive. (not the police tho, fuck them). I feel like you find yourself liking all the “sensei’s” in every anime. do you like gojo and kakashi as well? to be honest, you probably kin aizawa more than you actually like him. i feel like you are probably super hard working once you put your mind to something. like, you’re just super passionate about the things you love! you are a lowkey attention whore and are a bit annoying. i’d say, you’re either super well put together or falling apart completely. you’re probably fruity as well. in conclusion, i love you.

[yoonpobs]

bodyguard | kth | m

pairing: kim taehyung x oc

genre: enemies to lovers, Bodyguard!AU but oc is the bodyguard, fluff?

warnings: eventual smut, sexual tension, light choking, suggestive content bc oc is a minx and so is tae, i'll add as the story progresses, kim taehyung as a rich kid

words: 2, 138

summary: you protect taehyung from people but forget about the biggest threat. yourself.

“You’re who Namjoon hired?”

You’re used to having bewildered expressions when they find out that you out of all other possible candidates was what your agency decided to provide clients with rather than an objectively more stereotypical option—the big man.

But you were here for a specific reason and you knew that your duty lied in your responsibility to the man in front of you, even if his expression of doubt irritates you.

“Yes, Mr Kim. My name is ____.” You bow your head slightly, hands held together by your pelvis as you stand with your back straight.

The man in front of you glances over at his assistant, who only shoots him a firm nod as if to tell him that he was in fact stuck with you, despite all the uncertainties he may have.

Frankly, when Seokjin first recruited you into the agency, you were merely meant to be in charge of off-field duties and act as intel for field agents, but few of your previous mentors recognised your potential and physical agility when it came to mandatory training and pushed for you to be trained as an official agent rather than a tech lady.

You were lucky that a few of your colleagues had long ditched the misogynistic mindset that women were biologically weaker than men and would serve as a liability to the agency, but there were still a few higher-ups that were traditional in every sense that stuck their noses in your business when Seokjin would assign you to high profile clients.

Kim Taehyung was no different, but you were sure he fell into the latter of the traditional man. He did come from a lineage of old money.

“But you’re a … woman.” He says slowly, eyeing you up and down.

Even the outfit you were in was far off the usual appearance that most bodyguards would take on the first day of work. A long dress with a maxi slit by your leg, which left little to imagine what lies beneath. You bite your tongue to keep the snarky remark down and nod your head tightly to your new boss.

“I best fit the requirements you listed out to my agency.” Is your simple response.

His assistant steps between the two of you before your boss can say anything else, and based on your observations you note that he probably is the rationale behind Kim Taehyung’s mind; the reasonable and objective one.

“I’ll show ____ around headquarters just so she’s aware of the layout.” His assistant says hastily.

You don’t miss the last look your boss gives you, and all you do is bow your head before you turn on your heels, pulling out the gun in your garter and hold it behind your back—ready for duty.

“Jesus fucking Christ, _____.”

You’re used to hearing Taehyung sneer at you. It was something that you needed to get used to when you first were hired for the job because while he was known as an icon, a genius behind his father’s legacy—he was still wholly immature in every sense of a man child.

“Yes, Mr Kim?” You say blandly, flipping through the brochure that was laying idly on his coffee table; clearly ignoring the glare he was shooting you as he wraps the robe tighter around his frame.

Before he can open his mouth to yell at you again, you see the silhouette of the woman that was previously occupying his bed scurry past by the two of you, offering a meek bow of her head towards Taehyung before she’s out the door.

Your eyes follow her uninterestedly until you hear the click of the door, signalling that she was out and gone.

“What is your problem? Is my sex life something you need to protect too?” Taehyung spits.

You skim your eyes over his frame and spot a few marks littered along the expanse of his neck before your eyes rest on his tightened expression; your own one remaining impassive.

“My duty is to ensure you’re safe.” You remind him.

He scoffs, running a hand through his tangled hair—a clear testament to what he was engaging in before you had shamelessly kicked the woman out, mid-progression.

“Hyunbi is harmless.” He sneers at you.

You note that his erratic behaviour was likely a symptom of being cock-blocked, so you hold your tongue and just level him with an unimpressed stare.

“Hyunbi is the heir to the Im group. Need I remind you that her father’s company is the one that threatens your stockholders?”

Frankly, you try to engage with Taehyung on business matters as little as you could because all you were here for was to protect him and ensure that his head wouldn’t be served on the plate of an assassin that was out to get him.

You scoff to yourself because men were truly blinded by their desires and he would’ve risked his family’s fortune because he wanted to get laid.

“Okay, and? She was about to suck my dick not steal intel to the company.” He scoffs.

You don’t say anything but drop the files you found in her purse as you were doing your much-needed background checks on the woman that was visiting on such short notice, especially given the fact that she managed to bypass the system on being on the list before she was sent up.

The moment the beautiful women stepped foot into the apartment, you knew something was off about her. It was intuition from years of training under your belt, but also a womanly instinct. An intuitive sense that told you that she was going to wreak havoc if she could, and it was your duty to prevent that from happening.

“What’s this?” He picks up the documents to skim over the contents.

You don’t say anything but keep your eyes focused on his expression when you see it morph from confusion to realisation and pure mortification.

“She was going to blackmail me?” He asks in a disbelieving tone.

You nod your head.

“And if I hadn’t intervened then she would have probably falsely claimed that she was carrying your child.”

Taehyung shoves the documents aside and rubs his hands across his face, releasing a grunt as he lays back into the expensive leather of his couch.

“I can’t even get laid.” He huffs.

You roll your eyes.

“Taehyung,” You call out to him sternly, and when he opens one eye to look at you, only then do you continue, “You need to be more careful with who you fraternise with. You’re the CEO of the biggest manufacturing company in Korea and that is bound to make you a target to competitors. I can’t be cross-checking every single person you come across because my job is to protect you from physical harm—not be your mother.”

He narrows his eyes at you, and you see the petulance skim the surface of his iris as he leans forward, ensuring that his gaze is kept on your blank expression.

“So, that’s it? I can’t fuck around with anyone? Just because of my position? That’s a load of bullshit ____.” He snaps.

You purse your lips and give him a pointed glare.

“Stop twisting my words. Fuck who you like but be smart about who you stick your dick into.” You tell him lowly.

“Then I might as well fuck you, right? You’re the only person I can trust.” He sneers, leaning closer to you.

Your eyes widen, and your stoic demeanour is interrupted with his blunt words.

While you couldn’t deny that your boss was undeniably attractive, and alluded major sex appeal—he was still your boss and you would never cross professional boundaries no matter how much your body betrayed you. Even the Taehyung’s banter got much more … explicit and flirty, you brushed it off as him being himself. But he’s never explicitly stated anything like that before.

When you realise you’re gaping at him, you quickly try to compose yourself but unfortunately for you, he immediately catches on your surprised expression and bathes in it.

He smirks at you, standing up to walk across to where you were sat and plops next to you, a bit too close for a boss to be to his bodyguard.

“I’m right, aren’t I? You said to be smart and fuck someone who won’t have anything against me.” He whispers into your ear and you try to stop the shivers that travel down your body.

Taehyung notices how tense you are and reaches an arm to trail down your neck, slowly and teasingly until it rests on your hipbone.

You curse yourself for wearing only a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, since it was meant to be your day off until you were made aware of Hyunbi’s visit.

“Watch your mouth, Kim Taehyung.” You grit.

He snorts but nuzzles his nose into the column of your neck, and you feel the hot breath fan across your skin.

“You’re not denying it. Does that mean you want me to fuck you? Nice and deep?” He whispers the words against your skin and you can’t help the involuntary clamp of your thighs.

Taehyung, even as dense as he is, picks up on your movement immediately and reaches his other hand to keep your thighs apart, large hand sprawled across your thigh and you marvel for a moment at how big his hands are.

“Bet I could fuck the uptightness out of you, sweets.”

“Did you forget that I know everything about you?” You hiss, attempting to sound threatening but that only causes Taehyung to grin wider.

“Ooo. I love it when you get bitchy with me.” He teases, rubbing a circle with his thumb on your inner thigh as you feel desire pool in your belly.

“You’re insufferable.” You huff and you hate the way you sound breathless.

“Did I ever tell you how much your bitchiness turns me on? Always dreamed of shutting you up with my cock.” He confesses against your cheek this time and your eyes widen comically, your own hand clamping over his one over your thigh.

As Taehyung momentarily gets distracted with mouthing at your ear, you come to your senses and realise that you’re becoming the pawn in his game.

You quickly flip him over, until he’s settled under you with your knees sprawled next to his thighs, pelvis’ nearly touching as he smirks at you.

“Listen, Kim,” You whisper, leaning down until your noses are touching and you can spot every freckle on his face. He leans up to chase your breath but you don’t allow him the satisfaction of caving in.

“You’d never be able to handle my pussy.” You grin at him.

His eyes darken, and you feel his hands rest tightly on your hip.

You straddle his thighs and lean in until you’re sure his cock feels your pussy against him through the barrier of his robe and your shorts.

“Try me.” He challenges, mirth dancing in his eyes.

“You know why?” You lean into his ear to whisper, and your hands trail down his chest slowly and seductively until they reach the opening of the robe where his pelvis is, touch teasing and suggestive, especially when his breath hitches.

“Why?” He attempts to grind up to you, blinded by his carnal desire.

“Because …” You bite his earlobe and hear the grunt he lets out, cock unmistakably hardening until your core.

“Once you fuck me, you’ll never be able to fuck any other pussy without wishing it was mine.” You say as you pepper kisses down his jaw, right up to his chin until your lips are hovering above his.

But as soon as he attempts to close the distance, you push yourself off of him and return to your stoic and professional stance.

“You have a meeting with your investors in twenty.”

Taehyung gapes at you, the outline of his cock clear against the thin material of his robe as he releases heavy breaths of want as he looks at you in disbelief.

“You can’t be serious.” He snaps.

You shrug your shoulders and cock your head to the clock behind him.

“Good luck getting ready, Kim.” You say with a final smirk, enjoying the fact that you had him frustrated and high.

“This isn’t the end, _____.” He says lowly.

“You better hurry up and hope you finish in less than twenty minutes.” You tease, and you see the tip of his ears burn.

“Maybe I’ll give it five.” You say, flipping your hair over your shoulder and making sure to add a little sway to your hips when you walk away.

You briefly hear a fuck being uttered when you open the door to leave, and you feel triumphant with what you left him with.

[minahoeshi]

you were loved the most of all.

Ushijima Wakatoshi x reader | break-up angst

summary: You should've known that when Ushijima Wakatoshi found it easy to fall in love with you, it might be even easier for him to fall out of it. But who expects the worst when it comes to loving someone as seemingly perfect as him, anyway?

Chapter 1 of 2

Chapter 2 of 2

He said it was easy to fall in love with you. He said he didn’t know when exactly, at which place, nor for what reason. Simply one day, Ushijima Wakatoshi found himself looking at you with the epiphany that maybe there’s something more meant to happen between you and him. There you stood before him that day, the person he could promise love to. (And there he stood before you that moment, the boy whose promises you found yourself believing in no matter what.)

So maybe that’s why it was even easier for him to fall out of love. When he told you he was no longer in love with you, it didn’t matter to you to ask when exactly, at which place, or for what reason. Even the universe itself is meant to fizzle out one day along with the death of the stars. Just one more person drifting away from you like a lone planet with no real orbit shouldn’t leave you broken. You are used to this. You won’t fall apart.

But you break anyway.

It was snowing outside when he decided to tell you to end things now before it hurts both of you even further. Not that the snow has anything to do with the coldness creeping up your chest threatening to spill out of you in endless sobs. You were glad, though. That at the very least, he remained honest with his feelings. He never left you guessing. Every time, he never forgets to tell you what’s on his mind. His honesty is something he thought was necessary.

“I understand, don’t worry. Thank you for telling me right away. I know you’re also considering me–” you tell him and choke up. There are tears running down your face but you’re not worried about that. Wakatoshi never let you mask your emotions around him. For the longest time, he reminded you to feel free to be completely bare with him. All the good and the bad, he said. Don’t be afraid to show them to me. I will always understand.

He steps closer and puts you between his arms. You feel his chin on top of your head as you lean your face into his chest. You’re sobbing now. “I’ll be fine, Toshi. We’ll be fine.”

He kisses the top of your head and lets you stay in his arms for minutes. “I loved you then, and I love you still. It’s just that they’re no longer the same kind. I will stay if you ask me to, okay? Anything you want.”

This only makes you cry harder. He’s always been too good. And even in breaking your heart, he’s too good. You want him to hold on. You want to ask him to stay with you for years and years. Even with a different kind of love, you’ll let him be as long he’s close by. But someone like him who has dreams beyond yourself shouldn’t ever be with someone like you who still lacks certainty toward anything.

“Just for tonight,” you ask, still crying. “Can I stay?”

“of course,” he replies. Anytime you want. Anything you want. It has always been this way.

Because humans are creatures of routines and familiarity, you spend that night the way you usually do when you’re at his place. You cook dinner with him and eat on the dining table, sharing stories and laughter. You keep adding food to his plate and he smiles as you giggle at everything you find funny.

It’s okay, it’s okay. You’ll be okay. You’ll be fine.

You clean the kitchen and stay in the living room. He leans on the couch as you lay down with your head on his lap. You keep talking and laughing. He goes along, sometimes adding things to make you laugh even more, sometimes simply agreeing, sometimes asking questions. You keep it loud and light, afraid of the silence. Inside you, it’s so heavy, your heart might just fall off. This will be the last, you tell yourself. You want to be happy for now. While he’s still here.

"Do me a favor, okay?" You tell him as you're nearing slumber. "Let me leave first tomorrow. Maybe stay in bed, maybe pretend you're asleep. But tomorrow, don't get out of the room until I've left the house." Your voice shakes, feeling yourself wanting to sob.

"I don't want to wake up to another empty bed but I don't want to see your face when I wake up too," you curl into him even further. "I'm sorry for being selfish. I'm sorry I still don't really know what to do. And I know you wake up pretty early and you know, do stuff, but just for tomorrow, please?"

Wakatoshi didn't really understand why. He originally planned on cooking breakfast for you and taking you to the train station. He would watch you board the train and he'd make sure to smile at you as he waves. You always waved back. That's how it works. Even after fights, and even after especially bad nights, you'd still do the same. Watching you leave with a smile was how you both knew you'd still be fine the days after. That nothing much can affect your relationship. For years, this has been the routine.

But tomorrow, he knows he has to give way. He knows what he said hurt you. It would be wrong of him to do what he wants simply because he's used to.

Tomorrow's the last, he realises. And then if you want, he'd never see you again.

--

You wake up pretty early. The sky is a calm shade of blue, the world outside still waking up. You check the time on your phone and find it's 6 AM. Last night, you slept with your back on him. The sight before you is the other end of his bedroom and you notice just how much of yourself you've managed to leave around his place. Pieces of just one other person in his life, scattered in places around his world pretending that’s just where they belong. You didn't mind leaving things behind back then. You never really thought of the day that you might’ve to take back all of them. Just how does one pick up parts of themselves when they thought they’ve finally found a place for them to stay?

But as you stand up, you conclude that when things end, traces shouldn’t be left behind. He didn’t decide to break up only to be reminded of you even after you’re no longer close to him. So you go and pick every little thing that's yours. Even your jacket and sweaters and a few pairs pyjamas in his closet. You'll just take his things from your place too and hand it to Tendou's shop. Coming back here won’t do you any good. Him coming to your place instead wouldn’t either.

Collecting all your things, even the ones you can't use anymore, you leave the bedroom and enter the living room. You don't have many belongings here aside from some DVDs and books. You only take the books and leave the rest for him. You've always preferred reading anyway.

Setting your bag and things aside on the sofa, you go ahead and wash yourself in the bathroom and bring your toothbrush and some other products with you when you're done. You then head to the kitchen to cook him something light to eat for breakfast . You knew you didn't have to. He knows how to cook. It has always been him cooking breakfast for you. When you could, you’d rather stay in bed until the very moment you must start preparing to go to uni or work. But you did anyway. He's probably in his bed, awake. He has never been a heavy sleeper. With all the moving you did around his room, he was bound to wake up if he wasn't already.

You make him a simple omelette and write a small message on top of it with ketchup. "Good luck with practice today!"

You've already cleaned everything you used, preferring to wash and set utensils as soon as you're done with them. That way, when you're sitting down to eat, there won't be any cluster around to distract you.

You put the ketchup down and decide that should be enough. You'll stop here. You should go now.

Ushijima is sitting on his bed. He's been awake since 5 AM when he usually goes on his run. It isn't the first time he chose to stay with you instead of going out, but he can't help but feel heavy this time. He stayed in for you. But as the minutes pass by, it seems that he simply cannot find the courage to sit up and face you.

He wants to sink into his bed.

There's knock on the door followed by sentences uttered softly. "Toshi, I'm going now. There's breakfast on the table. Make sure to eat before you go."

There goes the heavy feeling again. Maybe if this keeps up, he might just actually sink and never get back up.

You've done that a few times. Leaving while he's still in the room. You don't even open the door. You simply knock and tell him you're about to go, always reminding him to eat before he goes too.

But this will be the last, he thinks. If you leave now, will he never see you again?

a/n

chapter 2 will be up soon not rly sure when tho. (it's up now the link is at the top)

also, im not entirely sure but i think i didnt use any pronouns or gendered nouns for this except "girl" in the 1st paragraph which i erased just now? if i'm right, then i hope everyone reading this get to feel as though theyre rly the person in the story. unless ofc u dont want that bc this isnt the happiest ushitoshi x reader fic u can find🥲. but thanks for reading!!!! m so sorry for typos nd other errors as well. i kinda cant read my own writings bc sometimes doing so makes me wanna smack myself in the head and never write again nd i hate that so now im leaving my mistakes to the gods nd hope they love me enough or smth. but yes thank u sm again for reading!!!!

[waifstarion]

Im very interested about the whole jared bullying Misha thing.. because i always heard about it but i never really got to actually see it or read about it

there’s actually a lot of things that have happened over the years that jared (and jensen) have done to misha. i’m only going to list a few of the most jarring ones, as there’s far too many to remember.

jared and jensen make many comments about misha intending to demean him. these range from calling him an awful actor, talking about how weird he is, how he’s expendable, how he and his character are easily replaceable, that no one wants him around, etc. these comments happen frequently, often weekly thanks to panels. while some people try to pass this off as banter/teasing, misha often seems uncomfortable and doesn’t always retaliate. a lot of these things are said behind his back. even worse is that they are said to a crowd that hates misha and has actively threatened physical violence against him. J2 are well aware of this vitriol, as misha has had extra security at cons bc of these threats on multiple occasions.

when misha had his directorial debut in s9, j2 intentionally sabotaged it wherever possible. they shredded what they believed to be his only set of director’s notes (misha luckily had a copy bc he anticipated j2 pulling a stunt like that) and they would intentionally screw up takes to delay production and cause him more stress. it got to the point where they had people driving up to see misha having a breakdown over everything they had done (3:00 mark). the entire story starts around the 2:00 mark

misha’s directorial debut is also when jared and jensen pulled the prank that he considers the worst out of all of them. they intentionally delayed shooting so pies could be brought out, then pied misha. jared, however, did it with such force that he nearly broke misha’s nose.

jared regularly distracts misha and intentionally screws up his takes. misha has told him many times that he dislikes it, and that it makes him look unprofessional

jensen and jared intentionally make schedules of “pranks” to pull on misha that stretch over weeks of time. jensen stated that on day six or seven, they intentionally had no pranks planned so they could laugh at misha being paranoid and on edge for the entire day because he was expecting a prank. the clip is around the 11:52 mark

jared once poured $600 worth of coins in misha’s car, which he used to transport his kids. this actually rendered the seatbelts unusable, which put misha in danger. jared actively acknowledges that misha’s first son had just been born and he had no time to get it fixed, so he’d been driving around with no seatbelt.

jared loosened the screws on the bike rack on misha’s car. misha had to sit him down and explain to him that it could have killed someone.

jared once rear ended misha’s car because misha took “his” parking spot. in response, misha parked his car close to jared’s driver side door so he would have to get in through the passenger side. in retaliation, he let all the air out of misha’s tires, which led to misha calling caa so they could fill them. he considered having jared’s car towed while they were there, but jared came out before that happened. he then informed misha that if he had towed his car, he would have totalled misha’s.

tl;dr jared frequently picks on misha, and takes pranks way too far, to the point of putting misha and others in physical danger. while j2 will tease many people, they have explicitly said that they intentionally target misha “just because he’s misha” (12:20 mark). this creates an incredibly toxic work environment.

[jewpacabruhs]

i was rlly rlly enjoying that it felt like s11-esque SP again which, my personal fav seasons are like s6-s12 n around there so i was having a blast and then that ending just. pulled down its pants and projectile-shit all over me. it wasnt bad ig it was just. gross which i mean i'd expect nothing less but. yeah idk this is my way of saying cartman nipples ruined a whole special for me. that being said tho that was. probs my fav special yet? ending aside gkfkf

cartman went back to his roots a bit and i LOVED it (pointing guns at people, correctly deducing a situation like a little genius but then drawing a wildly inaccurate conclusion about it like a little moron, I MISSED HIMM), he even bullied butters into helping him like the good ol days n the cartmanbutterstoken combo like christian rock hard made me SO happy theyre such a good trio. cartman w the two boys who call him by his first name... speaking of i love how token calls him eric even tho he hates him.

i love token sm actually he was so good in this special. hes been rlly good lately in general actually, the one good thing to come out of the weed plot has been the black family (...ahh...) getting more screentime and development. tokens highkey the stan of craig and those guys which rlly Makes the rival weed farm parallel bc theyre both just. the normal ass kids next door dealing w insane bullshit. i LOVED his compassion for the little. chuck chuck creature it reminded me of the goonies and it was cute. cartman scoffing in the background was funny but it was rlly sweet n did remind me a lot of goonies which. childhood nostalgia always good. also im a child and the thing squirt-shitting made me laugh KGFKFK toilet humor will always get me bc im a 8 yr old boy ig

it was cool to have an overarching villain again i do think SP handles narratives with like. Big Bads well? idk i never see it praised but i personally enjoy those plots and i liked how it was done here. tho this is a bit morbid, the, er, conclusion of pipi's story reminded me of that ummmmm verruckt incident in kansas (if u kno u kno; if u dont and u google, sorry) and it made me wince. im sure it wasnt intentional but my macabre lil mind drew the parallel n i cringed fff. but i enjoyed the rest of that story

and oh my goodness it was nice to see south park shit on celebrities again FKFKF like TRULY getting back to its roots. felt like classic sp mockery i loved it a ton

ummm what else. OH RANDY oh my lord. when he went back to normal i was like. holy hell i missed this. tht was nice to have back. modern randy can be plenty funny but he's overwhelmingly annoying and played out and the meta behind his plot made me wonder if m&t agree w that sentiment? ik they started using randy as a mouthpiece for themselves once they hit. 40 or 45 or whatever idk when it started but them acknowledging the weed shit was played out (when previous recent eps had had more of a "haha we know u hate the weed shit and WE DONT CARE LOL!!!" stance) was kewl. ik randy reverted by the end but im hoping maybe smth might carry over. and it was nice to see the marshes being. normal n supportive n smiling again. i dont rmr the last time i saw sharon smile ;( and the sacrifice stan made of letting randy do what he needed to do... he sounded so sad. he'd only jus got his dad back. man i luv stan hhh poor kiddo

the karen shit actually made me laugh i thought it was funny. i don't hav any deep thoughts on it it jus amused me

ummm anything else. oh the fucken. cartmans boobs fkfkf just the boob physics. the way they bounced i was so distracted by them FKDKFK that was cursed but also real af tbh

ok thats all goodbye til more sp content luvs

[infinites-chaser]

Librarian! PH. 52 MLQC MC / Victor :)

HELLO ANON U WERE ONE OF THE FIRST PEOPLE TO RESPOND TO MY LIBRARIAN ASK GAME I’M SO SORRY IT’S TAKEN SO LONG,,, victor is just. hard to write. aLSO I'm doubly sorry since i’ll be combining this with the Victor ask from @truth-be-told-im-lying ​ hope neither of you mind T-T i don’t think my mind could do two victor ficlets akwlfjsdkls

ANyway I love you both LOTS AND LOTS hopefully this attempt at Victor isn’t extremely out of character;;; it’s a lowkey soulmates AU if that counts for anything :> aND this fic gets the special treatment of an actual Title bc True was wonderful enough to help me by typing Victor as an Enneagram Type One

okaaay and without further ado, 

49, 52 + Victor/MC

‘[He] wakes up in [his] bed, determined to begin again.’- These Ghosts Are Family, Maisy Card. (pg. 49)

‘As [he] pushes through the onlookers to meet [her], he is certain he is the only person moving.’- These Ghosts Are Family, Maisy Card. (pg. 52)

((pronoun changes in both quotes to better fit the ficlet))

spoilers for Victor/MC’s childhood!

spend my whole life searching

Victor doesn’t believe in soulmates. (After half a lifetime of searching turning up nothing, he doesn’t believe in much.)

Once upon a time, he might’ve. (He wanted to). His heart rate doubled and sped up to match hers— a carefree little girl skipping across the road, too far away to hear his nerves cry danger, too caught up in dreams and fantasies to hear his warning shout. Time slowed down so he could save her, and on that afternoon on the crosswalk, drops of rain suspended in the air, he did.

At that age, he hadn’t had the sense to wonder why a young girl like her had been crossing the street without supervision. Why her smiles had come freely, but had always looked a little sad, a little wistful. Why she’d been so eager to accept his baked treats. Why she’d been at the playground without a parent. Why she’d always been alone.

Now, seventeen years later, he wishes he did. Wishes he’d known something as simple as her last name.

He dreams of her. Of finding her again: the girl whose heartbeat matched his. The girl whose smile had slowed down time itself for him, as if short moments with her could’ve each stretched into a gentle eternity. He’d wanted them to. He’d wanted to capture every moment spent with her, to make them last, to savor them, so they’d pass slow and sweet like honey on the tongue.

Time had passed slow when he’d wanted it to. Those sunlit afternoons had been sweet, they’d been happy.

Only, time is a fickle thing. When he takes his eye off it, it races away, too fast for him to keep up.

The kidnapping. The experiments. The torture.

The escape.

She saves him. He’s too slow to save her.

And even if he can stop time, here’s the thing: he can never turn the clock back.

Still, he wakes up. Every morning, he gets out of bed. Gets dressed and goes to work. The world around him moves on, and demands he does, too, even if his heart’s still eleven years old and clutching her motionless body, eleven years old, the only sound in his ears his pounding pulse, the absence of the accompaniment of hers an accusation more painful than any hateful words.

It’s a recurring theme in his life, time. It’s ironic, really, when he thinks about it. That he can stop time without lifting a finger, and yet, when it comes to things he cares about, people he loves most, he’s always eleven years old again, always too late.

(His Evol’s time control, but perhaps, all this time, he hasn’t been controlling time, it’s been controlling him. He’s imprisoned by a single moment, a memory, a regret. A past that can never be undone.)

Whenever he has spare time, he devotes himself to searching. Resigns himself to the fact he’ll probably never find her, if all he has to go off of is a child’s face, once preserved in his memory, now fading. Hair color. Eye color. Age. A name. Nothing more.

The searches turn up nothing. 

He spends late nights in the office to distract himself, builds up a capitalist kingdom of a company, if only to put off for a few hours more the prospect of returning home to face his nightmares alone.

His father praises him for LFG’s growth over dinners filled with awkward silences. The name Victor Li appears more and more often in business newspapers. Investors approach him. He gets interviews. Gets offers for TV appearances, for sponsorships.

He takes them, these material successes. Wonders if any amount of them could ever make up for the failure from his childhood. If they could bring her back. He tells himself if he finds her, when he finds her, when he brings her back, it’ll be to a more perfect world. One in which he’ll never fail her again. It’s a foolish thought, but it keeps him going. With it in mind, he proceeds to work twice as hard.

Souvenir is what saves him. A small allowance, a self-indulgence, a seed of hope planted in what he thinks is his darkest time.

It’s for her, more than any of his frantic searching ever was. A dream, a foolish one, that one day she’ll step through his memories and through the restaurant’s door, that one day they’ll share a pudding together again, their hearts beating as one.

He doesn’t get to open Souvenir often; his job doesn't let him. He made sure of that, long ago. But when he does, after the last customer’s left, and he’s put up the closed sign, he cooks for two.

(The first time, Mr. Mills had taken a single look at his silent, still face, and his expression must've spoken volumes. The older man hadn't said a word, only helped clean the kitchen after, the normally gentle lines around his mouth pulled taut in a worried frown.)

He sets the second place at the table himself: carefully places fork, knife and spoon beside lukewarm appetizers, tucks a napkin under soup bowls going cold. Watches the empty seat and the untouched meal for an eternity before finally eating his own. His technique's impeccable. It has been ever since he'd aced his culinary lessons, since he'd bought out the school. He'd used the finest ingredients. He always does.

The food still crumbles like ash in his mouth. (It always does.)

Mr. Mills will find him there, nursing a glass of wine long into the night. He knows better not to question it, but sometimes he'll pull up a chair, drink a glass, too. talk of everything and nothing, talk of his parents, his sister's family, of times gone by.

Victor will never admit it, but the older man's presence makes those nights less hard. his stories, his memories — they keep the ice in his heart from spreading any further when it feels like nothing else will.

Ten years stretch into thirteen, into fourteen, into fifteen, into a broken clock, time stopped because does the passage of time mean anything if he measures it, measured it in time with her? If she's gone?

The meals shrink. First appetizers vanish, then entrees too, until all that's left are desserts, puddings that he stares at all evening, puddings a girl had loved once, that he can almost imagine her sitting there eating, her noticing him watching her and her answering blush and smile. His smile back.

Almost, because after all these years without her, he can’t quite imagine her face. Not as she would look now. Not even as she was, seventeen years back.

(He dreams and finds he doesn’t remember what her smile looked like, exactly. Doesn’t remember the sound of her heartbeat mingling with the sound of his.

Memory is cruel. Memory is imperfect. No matter if you can stop time, no matter how hard you try to memorize a moment, when you revisit it, it’ll never be the same as when you lived it the first time.)

Then:

The day starts like any other. He wakes up, gets out of bed, gets ready for another day of work, another night of searching. He scrolls emails while waiting for his espresso machine to heat, then puts his tablet aside when the coffee's done. He eats in silence. As always, he's done five minutes before he needs to leave for the company, the perfect amount of time for him to do a last-minute check in the mirror— his tie's straight, his shirt unwrinkled, not a hair on his head out of place. The reflection that stares back at him is unchanging; these days it barely shows even the passage of time.

He sighs. Shakes the thought off like the piece of lint it is on his otherwise immaculate state of being, and heads for the door, the lock automatically clicking behind him at eight o'clock am, exactly on schedule, exactly as planned.

He's about to take a seat in his car when an inexplicable urge to walk to work takes hold of him. He pauses. Calculates and re-calculates the time it would take (fifteen minutes, not accounting for rush hour traffic making crosswalks slow), and he's about to decide it's not worth it, it's a silly thought, but the urge intensifies.

Do it, the eleven-year-old in his heart seems to be telling him. You won't regret it.

He frowns and rubs his forehead— for a moment, he wonders if all his searching, all his foolish hopes are finally getting to his brain.

He decides to take the walk, anyway.

He regrets it, not nine minutes later, when despite the sun's light shining strong through the clouds, a light rain begins to fall.

Worse still, the traffic lights haven't changed once in the past ninety seconds. He won't be late, he'd accounted for this, but he's stuck in a crowd of pedestrians, and their chatter's beginning to grate on his nerves. He's considering calling the mayor about it after exactly one hundred seconds have passed— clearly, the light's broken, this is far too long for commuters to wait— but then, finally the walk sign flicks on.

He's already across the street when it happens:

First, a phone rings.

Then, the loud honking of a car.

Tires screech.

Time slows. Time stops.

He's back on the crosswalk in a matter of heartbeats, the inattentive idiot in his arms (it's a girl, it's always a girl, hair dark, eyes wide, expression shocked).

"You..." She says, blinking up at him with those wide, almost-familiar eyes. Distantly, he registers the echo of a heartbeat overlapping with his.

"Who are you?"

Who are you? His mind asks, but deep in his heart, he already knows the answer. It can't be.

"Evolver?" He says instead, shoving down memories that threaten to surface: another rainy day, another crosswalk, another heart that had seemed matched to his. He tells himself he's being delusional, that he thinks he can hear her heartbeat because she's in his arms, wide-eyed and fragile, her heartrate skittering back and forth like a fool— this isn't like his careful, methodical searching, this is a fluke beyond flukes, it means nothing, it'll lead to nothing in the end.

But she's in his arms, warm and soft against his protective embrace, she's in his arms and it feels so right it's almost painful, his pulse pulled into a panicked pace to match hers.

He sets her down abruptly, as if burned, and turns to go.

"Someone can't come to your rescue every time."

Around them, suspended raindrops begin to fall. The world, resumed. The world, once again predictable and mundane. Except for her.

He knows, without looking back, she's staring after him, her heart, his heart, still racing.

He allows himself a smile.

He allows himself some small sliver of hope.

(His frozen time starts moving again.)

[konaizumi]

A Tale of Thousand Stars ep 9 thoughts/reaction

so gmmtv really decided to play with us this morning with those subs huh

au where torfun lives and finds a girlfriend who gives her all the love she deserves

they really give us this cute scene with torfun and phupha then come at me with “when i come back from bangkok” and remind me that torfun never comes back

the chaos of the scene where they bring phupha in

poor tian just hovering, wanting to do something, but unable to do anything to help

the tenderness of tian at his bedside and falling asleep next to him

thank you to dr nam for admitting his mistakes and apologizing

“i’m scared of losing everything i have right now” how did phupha hear this and still think tian would be happier elsewhere

tian’s dad keeps trying to use the mom as an excuse and it pisses me off bc like, they can visit?? she can see him whenever she wants, and tian would’ve moved out eventually or did she think tian would live with them forever? and i get that the mom would be concerned about tian living in a remote village but like she could adapt once she saw that tian was happy

like just say you don’t approve of your son being a poor volunteer teacher and go

“if you didn’t have fun, why would you run away from home?” the real answer that tian doesn’t want to say out loud is because he wasn’t happy at home

and tian’s dad just...doesn’t get it, doesn’t get why tian is happier here than he was at home, still thinks this is some kind of rebellion and it’s so frustrating for both of them

tian keeps talking about how he knows he eventually has to go home and i wonder if it’s ever occurred to him that he doesn’t actually have to, that he can choose the village, that he’s an adult and he can choose what to do with the rest of his life

i’m sorry but the matching slings were so distracting for me in this scene

the theme of self forgiveness in this ep is so good bc tian feels so guilty and he feels like he needs to make it up to torfun but it’s not torfun’s forgiveness that he needs it’s his own

especially bc torfun would be happy that at least her heart allowed someone else to live

god this whole scene is just so beautiful, with the sun shining behind them

when phupha said that he was also thinking about tian when he almost died and then cradled tian’s hand

so my predictions last week that the dad was involved in illegal stuff were way off, i genuinely so surprised that it was phupha who had been reporting to him (though in hindsight it does make more sense) but i slapped the table so hard when that happened

but oof, the angst is so real here and i love it

tian feels like his entire life has been lead and shaped by his family’s wealth and privilege and the village is the one thing he was able to do on his own and his relationship with phupha was genuine, then he finds out that this too was bc of his family’s wealth

and at this point i think even tian knows that phupha didn’t do all of that for wealth so he tries to get phupha to just say it, say that he genuinely cares for tian but phupha won’t say it and even confirms it and even if tian doesn’t fully believe him, phupha’s still being mean and saying that on purpose to hurt him and it does hurt

so tian accuses phupha of caring for tian for his own gain and even though that’s what phupha wants him to think it still hurts phupha to know that tian would believe everything he did was fake

and they just lash out at each other out of their own hurt

then phupha accuses tian of just having fun even though they both know that’s not true and it makes tian feel like the one person who understood him doesn’t actually see him

also i think it’s funny that phupha tried to be all mean for the express purpose of scaring tian off so he’d go home but tian, being the little shit he is, just digs his heels in harder

also i truly can not express enough how much i love and appreciate khama, like no wonder longtae is such a good boi when he was raised by khama

ugh, i can see the struggle in phupha’s eyes where he wants to drop the act and comfort tian so badly

poor longtae is so sad to lose his friend

tian is such a good teacher and it makes him so happy, how can anybody think he’d be better off doing something else

dr “despite all evidence to the contrary, i’m a doctor, not a therapist” nam

fuck, these scenes are supposed to be serious but i could not stop laughing every time I saw phupha with that fucking beard

the father’s like “i know my son well” like bitch, no you don’t, otherwise you would realize that tian is happier than he’s been in a long time and he’s not staying in the village as some way to spite you, it’s just that you and your lifestyle don’t make him happy

im sorry i still cant get over the beard

“im okay” that’s not what your hobo beard says

everybody keeps saying tian wouldn’t have listened if phupha asked nicely but did y’all really think asking meanly would work on this boy who stayed in the beginning out of spite toward phupha

they’re finally admitting their feelings so why does it have to be so heartbreaking?

tian wants to stay so badly and he wants phupha to ask him to stay so badly

phupha says tian doesn’t understand (why they can’t be together and why tian has to leave) but it’s really phupha who doesn’t understand

he genuinely thinks that tian was happy in his old life (and honestly why wouldn’t he?) and that tian is only staying in the village to assuage his guilt over torfun before leaving again to resume his old happy life, and that asking tian to stay would be depriving him of that happiness

but the village, teaching, phupha are all his happiness, he’s not giving anything up by staying but he’s giving everything up by leaving

and i think tian doesn’t fully understand that this is how phupha thinks so he doesn’t know how to explain to phupha what it would actually mean to him to stay

i also love how this show isn’t downplaying the other bonds tian has made, he wouldn’t just be staying for phupha, he would be staying for the kids, for the other rangers, for longate and dr nam--the whole village has become his family

tian looked really cute the way he bounced over to khama

god i can’t wait for next ep when tian decided to stay in the village forever and the angst is over and he and the kids get to celebrate and the kids don’t have to deal with the constant cycle of new teachers

longtae is baby and he just wants to keep his friend

tian not being able to count the stars because he can’t stop crying :(

we’re gonna find out what torfun’s wish was next ep and it’ll be something like the kids or the village or phupha being happy and it’ll be sweet as we and the characters realize that tian already carried out her wish without even knowing, no magic necessary

also i love that they used the version of the ost sung by aye (torfun) bc it really set the mood and also her voice is beautiful, i might like it better than the original

“you should do everything for yourself and not for someone else” it’s painful bc if tian really wanted to live his life for himself that would mean staying but phupha only thinks he’s staying bc of torfun

i need fanart of torfun’s ghost hugging tian and saying thank you

but your story doesn’t have to end!!!

we finally get to learn about the ring and it’s literally phupha’s heart and he gives it to tian and still sends tian away?!?

im not crying, you’re crying

tian is doing the lord’s work shaving off that ugly beard

the way his thumb brushes his lip

so, great ep as always, very angsty, both more and in different ways than i expected

can’t wait for next week when everyone finally gets to be happy, i will totally cry when tian tries to leave the village and is saying goodbye to everyone

[anakinthetrashking]

BnHA One-Shot Fic Recs (pt2)

 I AM HERE! With more recs for you! The last post was all about DadMight, such a beautiful genre *wipes tear from eye* This time its DADZAWA! if you happen to follow me, you might know that i really really(really) love Aizawa. a lot. So im going to try to keep this to only 10 recs, but,, well,,,, we’ll see anyway leTS GO

Aches and Pains by Badwolf36 Rating: G     Category: Gen     ~2700 words Summary: In which Izuku isn't willing to admit how much pain he's in, and Mr. Aizawa is just as much of a softie for his students as he always is. I’m always SO WEAK to stories that deal with the very real consequences of breaking all of your bones. Poor Izuku. I enjoyed the details of how he’s feeling, the way that the reader’s awareness of his pain waxes and wanes along with Izuku’s (temporary distractions can only do so much, A+ for realism there). Also, soft Dadzawa while not mushy-ooc-Aizawa! Conclusion: I love this and also want Aizawa to make me hot cocoa when there’s storms and i cant sleep!! (sidenote, everytime i see this username my brain shorts out bc my old ff.net account was also Badwolf## lol)

My Neighbor Shouta-ro by Hound_of_Heaven Rating: G     Category: Gen     ~2,700 words Summary: Yamada Hizashi, on Christmas Eve of the year he turns 19, jokingly presents Aizawa Shouta, also 19, with a Totoro kigurumi. Everything that follows after is pure chance. Heeeeeeeeeck this is ADORABLE. I- You guys- this is so pure and so precious and so!! go read it, i died. such fluff.

constrained by my own mind (im not fine) by CamsthiSky (tumblr: @camsthisky ) Rating: G     Category: Gen     ~1,500 words Summary: Midoriya Izuku is a problem child, and for some reason, Aizawa Shouta cares too much to let him fend for himself when the kid is obviously dealing with something First of all this is written by one of my fav Batfam writers!!! I was so hype when i saw this posted and OF COURSE IT WAS JUST AS WONDERFUL IF NOT MORE SO THAN I EXPECTED!!!! A+++++ in character for both Izuku and Aizawa. Izuku is jumpy and anxious and stressed and i love it. That the way Izuku started out, and while i am eternally happy at how much his life and social reactions have already changed, stuff like that doesnt just disappear in even a year, so I love fics that address that and expound on all the progress that he would have to make behind the scenes. and having Aizawa as the catalyst to begin getting actual help? *chef’s kiss* This checks boxes and then proceeds to cover the page in checkmarks LOL

remember from here on in by aloneintherain (tumblr: @captainkirkk ) Rating: T     Category: Gen     ~8000 words warning: spoiler heavy from manga chp 215 Summary: Aizawa glances from All Might to Midoriya quickly. It sounds impossible—he’s never heard of a quirk that can be handed down like a family heirloom—but at the same time, it makes perfect sense. Midoriya’s inability to use his quirk at the start of the year. The strange, familial relationship between All Might and Midoriya. The slow malnourishment of All Might’s body, like his power was being siphoned away. “You’re …” Aizawa begins.“I’m All Might’s successor.” Midoriya’s proud but shaky voice rings clearly down the empty corridor. Aizawa finds out about One for All. Awwwwwwww yiiiiiiiissssssssss!!!!! reveal fic!!!! one of my all time fav tropes!!! Plus it expounds on some future theorys/possibilities(Spoilers!!!) and you get some great interactions between Izuku and Shinsou, and plenty of opportunities taken to wear out our already worn out catepillar-sensei. poor guy needs a break but would do anything for these kids. Incredible characterization, great feels!!

Those Hardest to Love Need it Most by DancingintheStorm Rating: T     Category: Gen     ~8,200 words Summary: Shouta gripped the phone tight enough to make the phone case groan. “So it’s true. Midoriya was Quirkless.”“Until soon before the entrance exam,” Nedzu confirmed. “That’s not relevant now, though, because—““Relevant?” Shouta hissed. “Midoriya is barely functional, socially. He doesn’t trust any adult. He thinks the whole world hates him. He apologizes for everything except breaking the law, and I’m sure I can trace every single one of those things back to his Quirklessness. You call that irrelevant?”  Aizawa visits Aldera Junior High and finds out some disturbing truths. Yes. Just. Yes. Righteous anger abounds, local anxiety-child is told for the first time that his life has worth, more at 10 (I LOVE THIS ONEEE)

The Gaunlet and friendships and how memes tie the two together by averypassionateperson Rating: T     Category: Gen     ~3,500 words Summary: Shinsou walks into his first day in the Hero Course hoping to get politely ignored. He walks out having gotten into a sanctioned fistfight with the entire Bakusquad and a whole lot of new friendships. Also, memes are responsible for most of this. This fic is SOOOOOOOOO much fun. Always sure to bring a smile and honestly all I could want from a fic about Shinsou’s first day in 1A!!!

like light through a window by achievingelysium   (tumblr: @queenangst ) Rating: T     Category: Gen     1,139 words Summary: The first time Shouta sees what Hagakure looks like, it’s because she’s covered in blood. Coming from one of the best Dadzawa writers around, is a delightfully haunting fic centered on Hagakure!! The Dazawa is of course, spot on, the premise makes your heart ache as it plays out like a movie in your mind. So smooth to read, while so emotionally painful. Ouch. It is a fic with imagery that has stuck in my mind like a plant with deep roots, bc i keep thinking about it despite my too-much-fanfic-reading-adhd-muddled-brain. I feel like i had more to say but tumglr erased the paragraph i had originally written. D:   (side note, as i am keeping these posts to 10 fics... this fic came from her series of 30 min fics which you can find here on tumblr ao3  its an absolute goldmine of one-shots, go check it out)

a frozen pond, dark and deep by walking_through_autumn Rating: T     Category: Gen     ~3,800 words Summary: In the aftermath of Endeavour's battle against High End, Aizawa escorts Todoroki to his home for special leave, and they have a conversation that has been long in the making. (Or: Over two car rides and the mystery known as bubble tea, Aizawa divulges information, Todoroki returns the favour, and trust is built over unexpected similarities.) This fic felt just as quiet as the two characters it surrounds, which was really nice. Even deep emotional grieving can be quiet, since everyone feels things and reacts to things differently. It was a brilliant way to chip away at these character’s walls to let light shine through without creating an earthquake event to destroy the walls completely, you know? and it works off of canon so well. ah yes seeing the process of Aizawa realizing that hes has adopted another child is my fav    anyhow i enjoyed it very much!

but still my heart is heavy (with the hate of some other man’s beliefs) by honeyandsunshine Rating: T     Category: Gen     ~3,500 words Summary: Nemuri jerks a thumb to the side window, presumably the one with the best view of the front gates. When Shouta looks, a small crowd, all of which he can recognize from his class, are gathered around a sleazy looking man with a camera and a microphone. Half their quirks are activated. Bakugou and Todoroki are smoking. From the bushes nearby, a rather enraged stag emerges. As he gets up, Shouta just hopes they haven’t already killed him. Or:Class 1-A defends their own. Aizawa suffers, but looks after them anyways. I love how this doesn’t go the way you expect it to. and how much Aizawa loves and trusts his class full of gremlin heroes. The Dadzawa is so soft, his logic is sound, my heart aches, and i kinda want to cry. really, really, really great you guys

bend, don’t break by heyhamlet (tumblr: @hey-hamlet ) Rating: T     Category: Gen     ~4,100 words Summary: It started, as it always seemed to, on what was supposed to be a pleasant day. ---A Christmas shopping attempt gone wrong, Aizawa and Midoriya have to survive a strange nightmare quirk, all while trying to work out how to get out of there alive. Aizawa is injured, Midoriya is panicked. It's less a question of what could go wrong, but more what could go right. Another fic that has not left my soul since i read it. Some of it is truly terrifying in a way that I hope never haunts my own nightmares. and honestly isnt that reason enough to read it? While near death experiences bond people together well, nothing beats being trapped with someone in a nightmare that is feeding off of your deepest fears! If Aizawa wasn’t considering adoption before, he certainly is now. Found family before the monster finds you...0.o go read it, its a treat from another top notch writer!

well, thats 10! the next post will probably be misc. bnha one-shots. Enjoy and don’t forget to give the writers your souls love and comments!

[tobi-momo]

Disconnected Fate

a/n: hehe thank you for @velvxtparadise​ for requesting this im so happy you did bc it was an amazing idea (their works are also so amazing you should check ‘em out) but ya THANK YOU ily!!

Disconnected Fate: Soulmate AU/Quirkless AU - Sero x Reader

Synopsis: Soulmates were something to be treasured. The second half of your soul, finally connecting, becoming one. But, you couldn’t really rely on that if your string is cut. But will meeting someone with your same fate change that?

Word Count: 3110

Warnings: Cursing, clubbing, drinking, mentions of vomiting, kissing, old ass pervs, groping (if there are more pls let me know!!) {does include some todomomo and kamijirou}

“Mina, I don’t think this fits very well,” you laugh at your figure in the mirror, turning your body and running your hands down the fabric to slim it down. Mina opens to you, practically jumping at you before placing her hands at your shoulder to rotate your body; jaw dropping at the sight.

“Y/n, shut the hell up. You look so fucking sexy it’s not even funny,” she chuckles, giving your ass a playful smack before tugging at the thin strap that held your dress up. The strings connected to a loose bateau neckline, showing a little cleavage, and looking down, you see the way your snug dress brings out your curves and hips. Wow- you really did look amazing, didn’t you? “Okay, that should do it. Are we ready? The guys are probably waiting for us.”

Your head whips to your friend, who definitely did not tell you about boys being with you. “What? Boys- boys? Mina.”

She looks back at you with a shocked look, making it seem like you knew, and gave a blank, “what?”

“Why didn’t you tell me there would be boys? I only know like, three other people from your friend group, and I’m not even sure they like me.” You complain, leaving the closet for the bathroom to touch up on your makeup before hearing your other bestie chime in.

“Don’t worry, y/n! I like having you around very much, and I’m sure the others will, too!” Momo says, finishing her mascara. 

“Yeah, and you’re fun to duet and play with,” Kyouka acknowledges while painting her nails.

“See?” Mina remarks. “They love you. Eiji has already told the others, and none of them have anything bad to say!”

“Yet.”

“Kyo!” 

“Kidding~” she corrects.

“Y/n, you’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it, they’ll love you. Just...I don’t know, be yourself!”

“Thanks, Mina, that actually helps a lot,” you smile sarcastically before turning your smile flat. “I’ll be sure to do that once I get over the fact that I’ve never hung out with your friends before.” 

“Oh my God, y/n. Stop stressing. You’ll be fine.” Mina assures. “And maybe you’ll find a little special someone~” she vocalizes and points to the ring finger of your right hand. 

Oh. Right. You thought, looking down at your hand. The red string tied to your finger that connected you to the person the universe wants you to spend the rest of your life with. The string that leads you to the person you’ve always wanted, needed. Your soulmate. You had always wanted that person to come in your life, to sweep you off your feet and be with you for the rest of your days, but it was hard to believe in all that when your string was cut. Your string connected you to your soulmate, so why was yours cut? Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be for you.

“Y/n? Y/n.” You blink up to Mina’s fingers snapping at you.

“Huh? Oh, sorry,” you smile, “I just spaced out.”

“Classic y/n.”

“Kyo.” Mina glares at Kyouka.

“What? I’m just sayin’.”

“Okay, are we all done here?” You ask while looking around at Momo, Kyouka and Mina; checking the belongings around them and seeing their small handbags.

“Yup!” 

“Mhm.”

“Finally! Okay, let’s go bitches.” Mina exclaims as Kyouka shakes her head then drags herself up, leaning her head back, an annoyed expression painted on her face. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Bro, come on! Just have one- ONE- drink. Please?” Kaminari pouts, handing Sero a small glass of whiskey, the ice clinking within the glass.

“I don’t know man. You guys are probably gonna get hammered tonight, and Katsuki refuses to be the DD again,” Sero shrugs back, leaning on the counter of the bar.

“You’re damn right I ain’t the DD tonight. I haven’t had a good drink in a minute, and you guys are annoying as it is, so maybe a couple might make it easier to put up with you.” Bakugou groans, downing his drink, walking up to the bartender to order another one.

“Hey, where are the girls? Are they still coming?” Kirishima asks curiously.

“Uh,” Kaminari pulls his phone out, checking his messages, “they are on their way.”

“Why do they take so goddamn long? It’s annoying.” Bakugou calls out, waiting for his drink impatiently.

“Because they are ladies, Katsuki. They need time to get ready and stuff. You know this,” Kirishima whines, as if he had told him this multiple times.

“I know it’s stupid,” he emphasizes. He gets his drink and continues to sit at the bar, irritated.

Kirishima makes his way over to Sero, who sips his water through the black straw poking out of the glass. He looks bored, but not as if he didn’t want to be there. He always liked hanging out with his friends; the more the merrier. So taking this invitation to hang out with his guy and girl friends was a must. He needed a break from all of the stress school put on him. College was a lot harder than he thought it was going to be. This was a perfect way to distract himself even for a little while and drinking water. His friends would be entertaining enough anyways. 

“Hey, Hanta, you excited for the girls to get here?” Sero’s head whips up, breaking his thoughts. Sitting up straight, he leans back with an elbow on the back of the couch. Kirishima smiles giggly, taking a seat next to him.

“Oh, ya,” he says, as if it was obvious, “excited to see how they act when they black out,” he jokes. The girls were always a handful when drunk, thankfully some had their boyfriends to take care of them, but the boyfriends were always a little drunk, too.

“Ha ha, yeah, always super fun,” Kirishima replies sarcastically, knowing exactly what Sero is thinking. “What about you, Shoubro?”

Todoroki was sitting at the end of the table awkwardly, waiting for more company. He looked lonely, but patient. He looked up at his nickname Kirishima gave him tiredly. “Hmm?”

“Excited for the girls to get here?” 

“I guess. They will make the night more entertaining.” See, he knows, too. The girls were known for making the night more interesting. Whether it was karaoke, body shots, dancing, or even fighting with douchebags that tried to dance with them. The night always ended on a good note either way, so whoever was staying sober sure had a sight to see.

“Oh, here come the girls,” Kaminari chimes in, putting his phone in his back pocket before turning around for the door. Three girls walk in: Mina, Kyouka, and Momo. Wait- where were you? Didn’t Mina say something about bringing a friend?

“Hey, boys,” Mina greets, “how are we this fine evening?” She says smoothly, strutting her way to the bar. “Four vodkas, please.”

“You havin’ all of those? Momo and Kyo don’t usually have vodka.” Kaminari laughs, a jokingly confused question.

“Oh, y/n is gonna be here in a sec, and she likes vodka. A lot. So half of these are for her.” Mina smiles as she carefully grabs the shots and cautiously carries them to the table where Momo, Todoroki, Sero, Kirishima, Kaminari, and Kyouka reside. She sets them down, keeping a close eye not to spill, and starts walking over to your figure.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You head into the club, surprised the music isn’t louder, while avoiding the other people around the area. You knew at places like this it got a little crowded and hectic, so you just wanted to find Mina before anything else. With your hands behind your back holding your tiny purse, you look around and see Mina walking over to you, a bright smile plastered on her face as giggles and grabs your hand, dragging you to the table where everyone (besides irritated Bakugou) resides. 

“Katsuki get your ass over here right now!” Mina shouts from across the club, catching Bakugou’s attention. She gives him a stern look, then smiles softly when he grumbles and pushes himself off his chair, slowly walking over there, drink in hand. He plops down next to Kirishima lazily before staring at the ground. “Good. Anyway,” she inhales, clearly excited. You stand there awkwardly, wondering why it has suddenly got so hot. Something in the air was different. You didn’t know what it was, but it was making you nervous. “Y/n, the boys,” she points at each boy, introducing them, “Todoroki, Sero, Kaminari, Kirishima, and Bakugou.” You nod in acknowledgement, getting to know their faces to hopefully not forget later. One face caught your breath, though. Literally. Your breath hitched as you looked at him. Sero, you were pretty sure his name was. He was- beautiful. His raven black hair, his smile, his eyes, his everything- was gorgeous. 

What the hell was this?

You stand there, frozen, staring at his handsome face and body, practically drooling. You were interrupted by Mina yapping at them to shake your hand. Each one of them sat up straight and nodded to you, said how nice it was to meet you. Then you shook hands with Sero.

No. No way.

Right as you switch your hands for him, raising your left hand, he raises his. The red on his finger caught your eye, making you stop in your tracks. Again. He also comes to a halt, both your eyes wide in shock and surprise as you gaze at each other’s string.

This wasn’t real. You were the only one you knew in your entire life who had this. You had looked it up several times for a sliver of hope, but nothing showed. In fact, everything you had searched for came up the opposite. Because of the stories and the legends and the research, you were convinced it wasn’t true. You were convinced that it wasn’t going to happen to you. Convinced that you were going to live your life alone. Was this man really the one for you? Was this man really the one to share your soul with? You couldn't believe it. You just couldn’t.

“Ahem,” Mina purposely coughs, trying to dissipate the awkwardness everyone else has to endure as you and Sero share the weirdest and yet most thrilling moment you’ve had in your life. Your heart was beating so fast, you were nervous, but excited. You were surprised, but happy and sad, a little disappointed and mad, though you felt awakened at these new feelings. They felt stronger than anything you’ve ever felt before, and you could tell he could feel them, too. Mina coughs again, snatching your attention. She smiles and widens her eyes while pointing her head at the other men, who are tiredly awaiting your hand. Once you suddenly realize you’ve been focusing on Sero for the past 45 seconds, you breathe out an ‘oh’ and move on to Kirishima. 

You never stopped thinking about him, though. Throughout the entire night, after every shot you took, every song on the dance floor, Sero was still in your mind. And because of this, you took more shots. And you danced some more. You were taking a body shot off of Mina’s stomach when you notice eyes boring into yours. Swallowing the stinging alcohol you turn over to him, not finishing with the lime, almost stumbling. You want to tell him to stop looking at you, to mind his own business, but you can’t separate your words, slurring an incoherent sentence. 

“Oh? Baby girl needs some help? I can help you,” the strange man, teases, laughing as he grabs your waist, grazing the side of your torso up and down, trying to drag you to the back of the club. “Let me help you, honey.” He starts guiding you to the back, using his fingers to touch the soft skin on your shoulders, your forearms, making their way down to your hips, and finally up to-

“Hey, y/n, you okay?” The man gets interrupted by your hero, his voice giving you butterflies. “Sorry, man. She’s drunk. You really shouldn’t be messin’ with girls like this,” he shrugs before grabbing you by your waist and putting your arm around his shoulder, “or any girls, for that matter.” You lean on his shoulder, barely keeping up with the situation. You feel so light on your feet, but so heavy at the same time. He helps you to the tables you originally sat at before going a little more overboard than you would’ve liked. You moan, a little overwhelmed by the noise, but once he sets you in a comfortable spot on the bench, you lean your head back, satisfied with the cold air on your face. He quickly hands you his glass of water, placing the straw in your mouth and nodding his head, whispering to take a drink. You comply, sipping his water before he takes it out and puts the cup on the tabletop for a brief moment.

Dazed, you look around the room. Your vision is blurry, but you can clearly see Momo and Todoroki making out on the other side of the booth. At least she’s having fun. Meanwhile you get groped by an old man in a corner and probably won’t remember it the next day. Sero’s gone, you think. He was, but only a couple feet away from you. You turn your head from Momo on top of Todoroki’s lap, to Jirou leading Kaminari out of the building, then to Mina taking more shots with Kirishima, and Bakugou acting annoyed but is actually having fun. They all looked like they were having a great time. You look to your left once more and smile to yourself once you see him walking back over. He sits next to you and grabs the cup again, pushing it towards you to take a sip. And you do. 

The next half hour was you and him in the bathroom while you throw your guts up, the nasty alcohol leaving your stomach while he holds your hair up and rubs your back. You cough everything back up, regretting taking a single drink in the first place. You feel his hands smooth over your upper back, and his grip on your hair, tightening in a circle at the back of your head. You lift your head up, turning away in embarrassment.

He smiles in return, taking his hand off your back to grab something to wipe your mouth with. “Don’t worry, it’s not the first time I’ve done this. Come here,” he says softly, almost like a whisper. You turn your head towards him, still not looking at his face, but at his arm. His very attractive arms. He raises his left hand to wipe a cloth at your mouth, you catching the bright red string in sight. He notices this, and slows his motions. “You see it, right? My string.”

You only nod in response, looking away with a blush.

“I can see it, too. Yours, I mean.” You weren’t that surprised, considering what happened earlier that night when you first met him. The feeling was the same as it was before, but more intense. It was like sparks every time he touched you, like fireworks, like electricity. You could tell he felt it as well when he pulled back a little, hesitant to touch you. You knew he felt it when he pulled you away from that strange guy. Guess you were too drunk to notice.

Once he finishes up, he tells you he’s done then helps you up to get ready to leave. You were both tired of this place. Walking back out to the main room, the only people to be seen from Mina’s friend group was herself, Bakugou, and Kirishima. You could only guess where everyone else went. You two continue making your way down, asking if everyone else will be alright, or if they needed a ride. Mina responded that they’ll take a cab home, and that they’ll be okay. Thankfully Bakugou looked sober enough to understand what was going on.

“Yeah, yeah, I got it. Whatever. Fuckin’ leave already.”

Sero returns with a smile, silently thanking him as he leads you to the exit. The cool air felt wonderful against your face, the breeze making you feel a lot better. You groan as your head starts to pound. Sero leads you to his car, opening the door for you and helping you in, shutting the door. 

“Hey, what’s your address?”

You look up tiredly, ready to fall asleep right then and there. “Oh, uh, building 474 on 32nd.”

He only hums in response, checking his mirrors and backing out, heading for your apartment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey, uh, thank you, Sero. I really appreciate it. I know this is not how you wanted to spend your night, even if you were sober.” You apologize, genuinely disappointed in yourself for letting yourself drink that hard.

“Don’t worry about it. It was fun watching you guys for most of the night, though,” he laughs.

“Oh I bet. Me and Mina got a little crazy.”

“A little?”

“Shush, I know,” you chuckle, trying not to embarrass yourself further. “Um, do you want my number? Or something? It’s just, your Mina’s friend,” We both have red cut strings, “and I want to make up for being such a slob at the party,” I want to figure out why I can see your string. He gladly agrees, putting his number in your phone. “Also,” you interrupt his movements, causing him to look up, “I remember that weird guy from earlier, where did he go? I didn’t see him for the rest of the night.”

He smiles cunningly, a smile that cocks the sides of your mouth up subconsciously. “He was getting on my nerves, so I kicked him out of the club.”

You tilt your head in confusion. “How?”

“I have my ways,” he says slyly, implying exactly what you’re thinking. You smile in understanding, thanking him for the help. 

You unlock your door and wave goodbye to him, sad that he had to leave, but grateful that he didn’t have to put up with you anymore. You lift your left hand in curiosity. Looking at it, you can see every thread on the piece of yarn. Every knot. Although you couldn’t take it off, it looked as if you could. It was weird, knowing the fact that everyone else’s string connected them to their soulmates, while your short piece of combined thread just drooped towards the ground. You never expected to find another person like you. Another person with a lost fate. Huh.

Part 2?? Let me know!!

[irishmacguirefucker]

Truths

Or alternatively, Karen jones weasels the ranch plan out of Sean and then has a brief crisis about it

(3150 words! holy shit its long but i hope its a good read bc i worked hard on it and im pretty proud of it. You should probably read Seans hcs first buts its not necessary)

Karen Jones is not a particularly optimistic person. She wouldn't say pessimistic persay, maybe more of a realist.

There were a lot of things she felt were ultimate truths. Women would never be treated equally to men or allowed to vote, she would always despise the hot weather, she would never be good at embroidery, and she would die as she lived. Nothing but another forgotten criminal. Another gang member shot down and swept underneath the rug that was the new century.

She was sure that was what happened to Sean. Dutch says he was captured but in Karens book he may as well have died on that boat job.

But one day, somehow, those truths she clung to seemed to be wavering.

When Tilly and Mary-Beth spoke of the women in Rhodes and San Denis, or even places further like New York, fighting for their right to vote and be equal she tried to brush it off.

But it stuck out in her brain. Was the world changing? Could things be different? Sadie Adler was running around in pants like it already had for her. Maybe she was a pessimist, not a realist.

Things were changing, she could feel it. And not just in the world of politics and women's rights. (not that she thought herself much of a scholar in that area)

There were whispers around camp, Hosea left for a long time and when he came back he had a look in his eye that she just couldn't decipher. But then suddenly that look seemed to be catching on all around her. First in Arthur, though whatever was happening seemed to have put Dutch in a very grim mood.

Next it was John and Abigail Marston. Suddenly they were fighting less, and speaking in low whispers like schemers plotting some plan that Karen was still desperately trying to figure out.

The final straw was Ms. Grimshaw. She had that look in her eyes just like the rest and suddenly she was ordering the girls to start looking for legal money, legitimate jobs for the gang to get done. Suddenly, she wasn't the only suspicious one anymore.

Things stayed that way for a while, looking for legal money with sob stories and not so innocent flirting to find jobs. And it was weird, and suspicious but no matter how much she grilled Grimshaw for it, that woman was locked tighter than the bank safes they used to rob. (Used to. How incredibly odd to think that they aren't anymore)

And then suddenly, Sean Macguire was back. He was alive and safe and only a little worse for wear. Karen Jones' solid truths were all being broken and the return of the man she -was pretty sure she- loved was the last crack she could handle.

She wanted so many things at once in that moment. She wanted rum, she wanted to run to his arms and never let go, she wanted to mount old belle and escape, she wanted to curl up in one of the wagons and cry

But she did none of those things. Instead she took his greeting to her as she always had, sarcastic yet flirty, the way they had always been. Because that little game of thiers, the dancing around each other but knowing deep down (at least she thinks he knows) that she is his and he is hers.

If she changed that game, broke another solid truth that she was desperately trying to hold onto, she would be broken open and the world would suddenly become unpredictable and scary.

So she drank her beer, sat in his lap, kissed Sean, slapped him, kissed him once more and then took him to bed. And while that whole mess wasn’t the greatest experience on her end, she practically had to run from that tent because Sean had about a thousand new scars and bruises and she wasn't about the cry over it in his face. Naked. After bad sex.

After the night of Seans reunion with the gang, he seemed to hang around her a little more. Not much more than before, but now it was rare if he wasn't hanging off her skirts around camp. And she couldn't complain because she did miss him terribly, no matter what she said to his face.

In some ways she found it hard to face Hosea anymore. Right before he left on his apparently life changing trip, she had gotten particularly wasted and cried on the old man's shoulder, clinging to one of Sean’s vests.

She actually admitted, out loud that she thinks she might love Sean, but she was so sure he was dead she didn't know what to do with that thought anymore. That ‘almost’ that was floating in her head as she grieved.

When Sean came back, suddenly the memory of her drunken confession did too, and Hosea always seemed to have this weird soft smile when her and Sean spent time together. So she kinda had to avoid Hosea for a while

At some point she saw Hosea and Sean having what looked to be a deep conversation and she prayed to the god she was entirely unsure even existed that Hosea wouldn't share her secret.

Of course he didn't, and she felt a little guilty that she even thought that about the man who was in so many ways a father figure to her. But he told Sean something because suddenly, even Sean had that look in his eye.

The plotting, scheming, planning look that was catching around the camp like a disease and suddenly, she would pay any amount of money to know just what they were plotting. She knows that it's big, bigger than anything they have even done.

Sean was never able to keep a secret from her for very long. She knew that if she got on his case about it he would likely spill, so thats exactly what she did. But then suddenly Sean was no longer hanging off her skirts, and seemed to be avoiding her as much as he could.

His absence from her side was obvious. There was nobody pestering her (other than grimshaw), nobody sitting with her while she drank her morning coffee, nobody sneaking up behind her to spin her around just to see her get all flushed and mad, nobody to give her a cheeky kiss as he promised not to do it again with his fingers crossed behind his back.

Karen Jones is far from stupid, she knows that she must have been getting close to something if Sean was leaving her alone on his own free will.

So finally she caught him on guard duty. It was near the end of his shift and she made her way into the trees that hid their camp from the world.

She knew what she wanted to say, but once they locked eyes he immediately looked so nervous that she almost laughed at the shifting feet and darting eyes of the man in front of her.

She nearly forgot she had brought him a mug of coffee, and handed it to him wordlessly. He thanked her quietly and then everything was silent. Far too silent to be normal for Sean “I never stop talking even when I’m in mortal danger” Macguire.

“You’re awfully quiet Sean, ain't like you.”

A pause. More darting eyes. “Ah yes well I'm on duty, can't let those bastards out the woods hear me talking up a storm.”

Another pause. A chuckle under Karen's breath.

“Ain’t never stopped you before.”

Briefly he smiled, and looked into the blonde’s eyes. “That it hasn’t Karen my love, but I'm not looking to get another cuff up the back of me head from Hosea for forgetting to keep me fuckin’ mouth shut.”

For a moment he looked like he might start acting normally again before he remembered just why he was avoiding her. Suddenly he was staring at his boots once more. Some guard he is.

“Right. You and Hosea been talking a lot lately. In fact, a lot of people seem to be talkin’ with Hosea ‘cept me it seems.” That was her own fault for avoiding him, but she wouldn't say that.

Sean looked uncomfortable with this conversation, looking past Karen to see if anyone was on their way to take his shift. She hoped that meant she was close to cracking him.

“Ah yes well, you know how it is with the old man. Always wanting to have long discussions about the glory days, or give ya advice ya didn't ask for.”

“I suppose. But you know what I think Sean?”

Sean has never looked this nervous before she thinks.

“What's that love?” Bold of him to ask anyways, she will give him that.

“I think yall are plotting something, and you're keeping secrets Mr. Macguire.”

She watched as the irish man stiffened, took a look around, threw back his coffee and sighed. They both knew he wouldn't be able to keep anything from her for long, perhaps he was finally accepting that.

“I just might be Ms. Jones, but I hardly think it's much of your business to be pryin’ it out of me is it?”

Sean hardly sounded like himself to her ears. Sure, he could be nasty out on a job but never to her. She considered this man to be her best friend, the man she was almost sure she was in love with, and he was slapping her away like she was nothing but a fly bothering him. She can count on one hand the amount of secrets she had ever kept from him.

He always had a way of pulling them out of her, because he always wanted her to be happy around him. He wanted to know her problems not to fix them, but to distract her from them.

She had always thought it was a sort of mutual agreement. They were close. Not just friends but not quite together. Close enough that they had a bond neither could deny. So the idea that hes been avoiding her for some reason and would get so nastily defensive when she asked? It hurt.

But she wouldn't let him know that. That's not how the game works. But suddenly all these changes around her gave her the courage to say screw the game.

“Screw you Sean Macguire. How fucking dare you.”

“Karen-”

“No, you wanna keep your mouth shut about this then you can keep your big mouth shut while i yell at you. How dare you talk to me like that. How dare you keep secrets when never in my life have i ever been able to keep a secret from you. No wait, I kept one secret from you didn’t I? I never told you that I thought you were god damn dead.”

That and the fact that she was in love with him. When did she suddenly become sure of that fact? Not that it matters. She was already saying more than she meant to.

“I thought you were dead in the ground and it damn near broke me. You are my best friend, and you have the god damn fucking balls to tell me its none of my buisness why you wont even look my way for 3 weeks. Go to hell Macguire, you don't wanna speak to me then fine. Don’t. I don't want you around no more either you bastard.”

It took one look at the young man's face to make her eyes start watering, and then she was marching back to camp. Like hell she would let him see her cry after that mess.

She almost wanted him to run after her. To apologise and tell her why he can barely look at her, and hold her as she cried. But he was on guard duty so that wasn’t an option, and that wasn't how their relationship worked.

She didn't see him again for a while. She took the work Grimshaw gave her down to the lake, and watched Jack wade in the water trying to catch a crab or a fish while she sewed up a shirt. When she got up to get more clothes she saw Sean conspiring with Hosea once more and refused to even give him another glance. She watched Pearson fish off the dock for a while, whilst she stitched a blanket, she watched the sun get lower in the sky till it lit up like the campfire.

And then out of the corner of her eye she saw a lanky leg step over the log she was on, and then he was sitting beside her.

She didn't look up. He didn't speak. He nudged a bottle of beer her way, and she took it without a word.

The sun had just barely sunk below the horizon when he cleared his throat and took a breath to speak up. She cut him off before he could start.

“Don’t start Sean, I don't want your damn apologies.”

“Well then it's a bloody good thing I wasn't about to apologise love.”

She wished he wouldn’t call her that. It's not like she exactly had time to process the whole being in love revelation she had earlier.

“What the hell do you want then.”

“I want to tell you a secret.”

She scoffed and started to stand up, but he grabbed her waist before she could, and she looked him in the face for the first time since that morning when they fought. “Let me go Sean Macguire, I don't wanna hear it.”

“Oh hush, yes ya do. I couldn't bloody well tell you this mornin’, it weren't my secret to tell you. But I had a little talk with Hosea, and he gave me then blessin’ to share with you.”

He couldn't tell her  because it wasn't his to share. So here she was getting angry at him for something that wasn't even his fault. Not that there was no reason at all.

“Dammit Sean, the hell does that have to do with you avoidin’ me like the god damned plague. You could have said you can't tell me and I woulda’ left you the hell alone about it.”

“Now that is a dirty lie Ms. Jones, I have not successfully kept anythin’ from you in my whole life. You knew what I was going to give you for your birthday the day I stole the damned thing. I wasn't able to risk something this important falling out of my big mouth because you distracted me with your beauty.”

He was trying to abate her anger, and the fact that it was nearly working only served to anger her more. How dare he sit there and nearly make her laugh when he was apparently keeping some giant secret from her.

“Fine Sean. What's the big secret that's been makin’ you run away from me like a dog afraid of his own shadow.”

“Well my love, you had better get comfortable, this is quite the tale and I happen to be quite the storyteller.” And before she could tell him to get the hell on with it, he started doing what he does best. Talking.

It took him nearly a fucking hour to get to the point. He told her everything he knew about the ranch plan, every word Hosea had said to him about it, all the way up to him begging Hosea to let him tell Karen about it. By the time he finished, both their beers were gone and everything Karen had known her whole life was slipping through her fingers like the sand beneath their feet.

“-an’ Hosea says that nobody has to go with him, we can all go our separate ways and such but that's what his plan is. Him and the bloody Marstons and Arthur and everyone else they can get are going with him. And Dutch was planning on telling everyone as soon as we had the money to do it and I only know because I’m fuckin’ excellent at eavesdropping. But Arthur caught me sneaking off and told me to keep me trap shut about it so I did.”

She stared at him in stunned silence. Half the gang was plotting a move to New Austin to start a ranch in the middle of nowhere. Finally she managed to get her thoughts together just long enough to spit out the words “The one fucking time you can follow a god damned direction.”

And that was enough to make him laugh. And he sat there and laughed like they weren't getting their worlds turned upside down.

All the things Karen considered to be complete unbreakable truths were shattering. She was looking at this offer of a real life that wouldn't end in her premature death and it terrified her, but at the same time nothing had ever looked so good.

“I'm still mad that you avoided me like that.”

“Don’t think you've ever screamed at me quite like you did this morning Ms. Jones.”

“I did not scream at you, you were on guard duty.”

“You bloody did. The bird flocked out of the trees. Some broad on the street heard you and said ‘I wonder what stupid bloke pissed of that woman’”

“Are you going? To the ranch with Hosea?” She didn’t notice that over time she had practically ended up in his lap until just now.

“Well Ms. Jones, that all depends on where you're planning on going.”

Sean Macguire had confessed his love to her many times, drunk and sober. But she never thought any of them sincere until now. Here was Sean Macguire, willing to follow her wherever she may go. And it terrified her just as much as the idea of the ranch did. But just like the ranch, nothing had ever looked quite so safe, so sweet, so good.

She knew she wasn't ready to tell Sean she loved him yet. It was nice to know he loved her, and that she was hardly going to get rejected should she tell him. But she wasn't ready yet.

So instead she said “I think that I'm gonna go with Hosea and Arthur and them. To be ranchers or whatever the hell they wanna do.”

“Then I guess we’re gonna be ranchers! Though I was never good with bloody livestock.” and that made Karen laugh good and proper.

Karen Jones feels that a few things will always be ultimate truths. She would always despise the hot weather, she would never be good at embroidery no matter how hard she tried, that Sean Macguire loved her to the ends of the earth and back, and that she loved him too.

Being ranchers meant she would likely never have to lose him again, and so ranchers they would be.

[smellysluna]

The one where Luka is a clown | Fictober19 #1

Prompt number: 「 one 」“It will be fun, trust me.”

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug

Pairing: Luka Couffaine & [YOU]

Rating: T (Teens And Up)

Warnings/Tags: none

Summary: you’ve always had a crush on him bcs he simply was your type but nothing really happened unitl You & Luka get set up as project mates

Side note: I know that it’s the twelth of october but i just started it, i’ll write some more for fictober but i’ll use the prompts as i see fit bcs i’m just like that so yeah. anyways i hope this makes some kind of sense, its been a long time since i finished something i began writing. okay so i also wanted to write luka because there’s not many fics with him with an “x reader” tag. okay talk over, enjoy the story babes!!!!

"Hey."

I turned around in my seat and smiled. "Hi, Luka."

"So... how'd you wanna do this?"

I cocked an eyebrow. "Do what?" Luka shared an amused smile. "Oh!" I face-palm. "The project! Right." I picked up the notebook with my notes from my desk and slammed it on his desk. Then I rotated it in his direction. "This is how we're going to do it."

"Wow, you've really thought this through already."

I rest my face on my hand and smirk. "It's no coincidence that I ace my presentations."

"I guess I'm lucky then."

"More than you think." I straighten my back. "Okay, no funny business tho. You fuck up and I'll make you suffer all the way to June. Take a picture of them notes so you have a copy and have a slight idea of what's going on."

He puts up a half-amused smile, "this ain't my first rodeo."

"But it's your first bullfight, so keep up." He laughed and I bit my lip. I might've gone overboard. 

"I'll do my best," he assured in a soft voice. Holy shit. He's so mellow. As soon as I was sure he had a picture of my notes, I took his phone. I entered into his contacts and added my number then dialed myself. 

I show him the screen of my phone. "Now we have each other's numbers." He smiled before I turned around just in time for the teacher to get in. 

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

I was watching dessert recipes on YouTube when I received a message from Luka. The popup appeared from an Unknown number which reminded me that I forgot to add him to my contacts.

"hey"

     "hi"

    "what's up?"

"i went through ur notes"

    "yeah?"

    "they're amazing, aren't they"

"u made those in class"

"how???"

"they're too good"

You sent an image:

Unknown sent an image:

"anyhow"

"i wanted to know when you want to get the project finished"

"i thought that you'd want to finish it asap"

"u look like you have a busy schedule"

    "i'm free whenever, really"

    "but i don't want to finish it in one go"

    "so we'll spend a couple of days on it"

    "if u dont mind that is"

    "btw you give me too much credit"

"right"

"it's fine, yeah"

"more time to clown around"

Unknown sent an image:

    "> AUDIO (laughter)"

    "IM DYING"

    "WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY"

"i took clown courses in my childhood"

    "where's the diploma huh?"

"wait, lemme look"

"wait"

    "ur serious???"

"photo(clown certificate)"

    "I CAN'T BREATHE"

"clown code: never joke about being a clown"

    "AND HERE I WAS"

    "THINKING YOU WERE THE COOLEST GUY AT SCHOOL"

    "BUT ALL THIS TIME YOU WERE JUST A CLOWN"

    "I WAS SO FOOLISH"

    "ur now officially added to my contacts as clown boy 🤡"

"coolest guy huh? ;)"

    "don't let it get to your head, clown boy"

    "as much as i'd love to know about your clown career, i have to go make dinner"

    "we'll talk more about it at school"

    "don't vanish on me"

    "i'll snap my fingers into Thanos' ass if i have to"

"right 😂"

At dinner, I couldn't stop thinking about Luka. We might've never talked much to each other but I always had the hots for him. He was just my type: tall, supposedly long hair for a boy, dyed hair, punk-like feel and especially (these just get me going) those black gauges in his ears. Anyways, I'd lie if I said I never got distracted in class because of the smell of his cologne.

"Thank you for dinner, [Y/N]," said my mom after she cleaned the table.

"Don't forget to do the dishes, love."

"Yes, Dad," I chuckled.

"We're off to bed, then. Goodnight, [Y/N]."

"Goodnight, mum. Goodnight, dad."

That night, I fell asleep thinking about how nice that chat conversation with Luka was.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

I groaned loudly when I got into class. I ran because I was late for geography. When I got to class, the lack of a teacher at the desk made me want to kill myself. My classmates were scattered around the classroom in groups, as usual when a teacher was absent. Done with life, I walk to my desk, drop my backpack and accommodate my face on the desk. Suddenly, somebody is standing next to me. But I really just wanted some sleep so my first intention was to ignore whomever until well, it's self-explanatory.

"Looks like someone spent all night thinking about me."

"What!?" I see Luka. Now fully energized and heart pumping, I stutter: "No, no. What are you even saying?"

He laughs and takes a seat on the vacant spot in front of me. He rests his arms on my desk. "I'm just messing with you, wanted to see the reaction I'd get out of you. I wasn't expecting to fully wake you up." He smiles broadly and I stare into his eyes.

Have you ever met that person, no matter who they are, their eyes are so enthralling that you just can't help but keep staring at them? These kinds of eyes just have something... Something I'm unable to describe. And when I stare at them, they're so glossy and shiny.

"I think you'd look amazing if you wore eyeliner."

"Huh?" Half of his face moves upwards in sync. "That's very random."

"I mean, yeah." I look away, fidget with my bracelet and then look back. "I just thought it'd bring your eyes out even more."

"Ooh," he exhales knowingly. "Because they're blue, right?"

I knit my eyebrows together. "No," I say offended. Had this boy never realized how nice his eyes are?

"Why then?" He asks and nods his head onto his arms.

"Well," I lick my lips, "I don't know." I shrug "It's not because of the color, which is beautiful just so you know." I caress my arm and try very hard to maintain eye contact, occasionally looking away. "Your eyes, I don't know, they just have something."

He smiles at my words, "look who's talking."

"Not a clown, that's for sure." He groans in a boyish way and it melts my insides so warm I almost let it show.

"You won't let it go, won’t you?" He lays defeated on my desk, arms sprawled.

"You did that to yourself." He hummed in a way that seemed a mixture of displeasure and annoyance. His long hair was sprawled in every direction of my desk. I could tell that he washed his hair either last night or this morning —it smelled so nice. Luka smelled really nice and I couldn't help but bite my lip to restrain myself from sniffing him all over like I was some kind of dog-bred. I started playing with his hair and it was so much softer than I expected it to be, it was dyed after all. He let a pleasurable groan slip through.

"Does this bother you?"

Luka abruptly opened his eyes and forced my head to rest on the desk as well. With very soft caresses he ran his hand through my locks and I understood what it was that he intended.

"What about you?"

I stared into his eyes for a moment and closed them, then resumed playing with his hair as he did the same. We were so close, I could hear his silent breathes. I wondered if this could be considered as cuddling. Honestly? I didn't care because I was enjoying it.

"Hey, guys, look at [Y/N] and Luka."

"Woah, when did that happen."

"Never thought [Y/N] liked that type of guy."

"You're kidding, right? Luka's definitely her type."

We spent the rest of the hour like that. Somewhere in between, the rest of the class noticed us but, frankly, we paid them no mind. But it made me anxious. Not because of what they said but about what Luka might've thought about it.

"I kind of like this," he whimpers softly as if scared he'd break whatever we had going on.

I agree with him softly, just as scared to ruin the mood.

When the bell rang, we hesitantly broke apart. Luka returned to his assigned seat behind me and then class started. The moments the teacher repeated subjects the class already went through, Luka played with the ends of my hair.

After the school bell rang for the last time that day, Luka approached me. He asked if I wanted to start on the project today. Luka was so cute while he asked. He didn't do anything particularly cute but the way he looked when he leaned on the wall had sent me flying. Obviously, I said that it was a good idea. Not desperately, of course, even though I wanted to grab him and steal him away. I kept my cool.

"What time?"

He grimaced to hide a grin. "I was hoping, like, right now?"

"Uh, well... On any other particular month, I'd agree and take you to my house. But we're getting reformations done so it's a very big mess."

"We can go to my place." He states like it's a universal fact.

"But all my shit's at home, and I'd want to empty my backpack, grab some money, etcetera."

"Okay, I get it. I can take you home and we'll head right over to mine?"

Even though I might pass out any moment out of pure embarrassment, I cross my arms in an 'X' in front of his face.

"No way that's happening, clown boy."

"What? Why?" He frowns.

"No way in hell I'm letting you drive me on your motorbike."

A small laugh escapes his lips. "You've never been on a motorcycle?"

I act displeased.

Luka laughs with a hand on his stomach. "You haven't!" I scowl and his laughter subdues. He waves his hands in front of him and apologizes for laughing. "I'll be careful, just for you." He assures.

"Even if I agreed... I doubt you'd have a second helmet. And we all know that police officer which has an obsession for the law."

"I got us covered on that one, I have two."

I stare at him. "You had this all planned out, didn't you?"

"No," he grins, "it just happens to be that I usually pick my sister up from her school."

"Oh, so she's gonna have to walk all the way back to your house. We can't let her do that, can we?" No matter how much I crush on Luka, anything that can get me out of sitting on that devil's contraption, I'd go with.

"I said 'usually', didn't I?" I can feel his smirk soaking right through me but in a much more softer tone he said "it'll be fun," and smiles "trust me."

It was his goddamn smile that convinced me to agree.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

"I never knew you could live in a boat."

I looked around the main deck and, for some reason, I felt very lightweight and free.

"You don't like it?"

"The contrary, I love it!" I smile at him, "it adds to your charm."

Luka smiles back, "thanks."

Both of us walked inside the boat. I took everything all at once. You rarely get the chance to be inside a boat-home. But the most surprising thing was that it was stable —at least more than I thought.

"My room's the one at the end. Get yourself comfy —I'll be right there."

I bite the inside of my cheek. "Okay."

Once I get into his room, I relax and take a look around. I leave my backpack by the door and head straight for the most valuable thing to me in his room. Luka had one of the nicest guitar stands available on which laid the most basic electric guitar ever... but since looks can deceive, I pick it up.

I make myself comfortable on his bed along with Luka's guitar and a guitar pick I snatched from the wall. Without thinking twice, I started to play. It didn't matter to me that I hadn't plugged the guitar into an amplifier, this particular tab didn't need the magic of electricity. I suppose I should have asked first if I could play but it's too late now-

"That's 'Lonely Day', right?"

"Ah! Shit! Sorry!" I stood up hastily, the guitar pick went flying to the floor and I placed the guitar back where it was supposed to be. I turn to him to apologize, "I should've asked-."

Luka walks past me, grabs the guitar by its fretboard and puts the strap around himself. He shuffles around me and I was too confused to realize what he was doing. Then he hands me the guitar fully-tuned-connected-to-an-amplifier guitar. He lifts it by the fretboard again and hands it over to me as if telling me to take it. I stare into his eyes and do exactly that.

At that moment, we didn't need any words as I accepted his silent offer. I strum dumbly and then start fidgeting with the knobs on his amplifier. I bite my lip, it doesn't have as many options as mine and it's smaller than the one I have at home but I managed to get the right sound.

I started playing a song that I had played countless times and felt very confident. This moment was about impressing Luka and I was determined to blow him away. But the moment I started playing, I couldn't keep up the cool-girl act and grinned as I played around the room.

"Wow," he said amazed after I finished. "I never knew you played guitar, let alone that well."

"I'm amazing, I know," I wink.

"What did you play?"

"You don't recognize it!?" I gasp loudly. I put my hands over my heart. "Oh, my heart! It hurts! I have never been so hurt before!"

He holds back an embarrassed smile. "Guilty as charged."

"It's Crowd Chant, by Satriani," an exaggerated sad smile adorns my lips.

"Oh, right! The guy from 'Surfing with the Alien'!"

"Yes, that one! I love him, he's my idol!"

"He's good."

"Good? He's a GOD." I pout at him. "Your idol is Jagged Stone, that's why you have so little appreciation for him."

"Right."

I playfully punch him. "Just kidding."

"I thought I was supposed to be the clown around here."

I laugh very loud at that. "Yes! I will - haha - leave - ha - the rest to you."

During the week we were making the project we had gotten really close and we kept hanging out at each other's houses even when the project was long ago finished. I met his very cool mum, and his sister, who is physically exactly like him but both of them don't seem to admit it. And he met my small family too.

"I keep telling you! You do look alike! Genetics is no joke."

"I agree with [Y/N]!" Juleka's friend said one day over dinner. I can't remember what her name was but I always thought there was more than 'friends' between her and Juleka.

"We do not look alike; you both must be very blind," Luka jokes and I pinch him very hard. "Ow! Stop!" He pinches back.

"No! Luka! That was payback for yesterday!" He stuck his tongue out at me and I growl. "You're very mean."

He shrugs, "whatever you say, [Y/N]."

"Oh, 'whatever I say' it is, is it?" I crossed my arms and pondered without breaking my staring contest with Luka. "So if I said you're ugly, you'd agree?"

He smirked, "sure." I felt how triumph tasted and literally a second later I tasted defeat. "But it won't affect the fact that my eyes have 'something'."

I became a blushing mess and everyone at the table stared at us.

"So..." Juleka started, unsure. "Does that mean that [Y/N] confessed first?"

Juleka's blonde friend nodded, "I knew it!"

"I'm happy for the both of you," Mrs. Couffaine cheered with a very sweet smile.

There was a problem with their cheers which made Luka and me quite uncomfortable. It was wrong. Nothing had happened between us.

"It's...! It's not like that!" I attempt to defend ourselves and turn to Luka. "That's not what that was, right, Luka?"

He was looking in the opposite direction, scratching his crimson red neck. "I mean..."

I hide my face in my hands. "Oh my God, I want to kill myself."

"You know what? We will leave you both to work out whatever misunderstanding there might be, okay?" And with no answer, all three of them left.

"Let's go outside." With no warning, Luka took me by the hand and guided me to the main deck. It was chilly outside and I shivered but kept it to myself. "Here." Luka handed me his jacket.

"Thanks," I smile and put it on. It still smells like his cologne.

"About what Juleka said..." He avoided my gaze by looking into the river. "I might've told her that I like you," he turns to me and takes my hands, "a lot." Luka squeezes my hands out of nervousness. "The way you and I understand each other, without any words, just the music is enough. I feel like we're connected through it like we are the power-chords to any rock song."

My heart was melting, I always knew deep down that Luka's a very sweet romantic and he was killing me with his cuteness. I never knew you could look cute and hot during a confession. "Luka, I-"

"Remember when we sang 'Anything better than you'?"

"Yeah."

I recalled the memory. At the end of the song, when the part that goes "I can sing anything sweeter than you" our lips were so close... I couldn't stop thinking about it before I fell asleep every night.

"I wanted to kiss you so badly, but I just couldn't do it." Luka pulled me in and we were as close as that other time, my heart was beating so hard I could hear it in my ears. "Until now."

Luka kissed me and I kissed back. We kissed each other so desperately and I ran my hand through his hair. Fuck, how I loved the softness of his hair. We break apart for a kiss and stare at each other's eyes, dumbfounded. We kiss again except this time it wasn't as desperate. It was softer, a kiss only Luka could make amazing. Luka had thin lips but made up for it with the way he kissed. I wanted to kiss him more, I wanted more from Luka so I kissed him harsher. Then he broke apart the kiss, clearly taken aback from it.

My heart stopped, "I... I'm sorry-!" He cut me off by kissing me harsher than I did and I loved every second of his harshness. I began feeling his neck, his back, his chest and pushed myself closer to him as every second that passed it became hotter.

We broke the make-out apart. Our flushed faces appreciated the cool night breeze. We keep wrapped around each other. "I think we should get back inside."

I listened to his pounding heart through his chest. "Not yet, clown boy."

"Whatever you say, love."