#im so unhinged ugh
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I have spent an ungodly amount of time the last four days trying to make my game run as fast as possible with Fabric and shaders + look as cottagecore as I specifically wanted, and I'm questioning my life decisions
#like all this for a season thats gonna last 1.5 months?? :sob:#what is wrong w me#im so unhinged ugh#most of it was spent trying to make optifine cem work on fabric DO NOT RECOMMEND#those mods claiming they can get them to work? LIES#ALL OF THEM#anyways now i have like 25 resource packs and 30 mods or something lol#but my game looks good and runs okay!#so yay!#minecraft#mc#sunset smp#.txt
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Sparkle on
#art#digital art#digital drawing#artwork#scott pilgrim vs the world#scott pilgrim#gideon graves#gideon gordon#sparkle on!#it’s Wednesday!#dont forget to be yourself!#ugggh i NEED THIS MAN#pls i love him hes so babygirl#also i love the idea of him having painted nails like ugh so slay#lemme kiss his face-#okay maybe im unhinged
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introducing xephos: the hero, the villain and the spectre haunting this narrative
#putting my unhinged 'yogslabs as the play hamlet' meta in the tags because im cringe anyWAY#so! hamlet doesn't kill claudius because hes afraid he'll go to heaven#xephos doesn't kill rildernstern because he wants *proof* someone was against him - maybe he wanted to prove something to honeydew?#prove he wasn't evil or paranoid and that people really were out to get him#but he didn't realise it wasn't only him who was in trouble because even though he ran yoglabs - you can't only kill one of them.#theyre a matched set. the other would destroy you.#also!! xephos is both the king (his past heroics haunting the narrative and effecting his and honeydew's choices)#claudius (the usurper destroying hamlets legacy) and hamlet himself (alongside honeydew - the heroes of our story)#with lalna as ophelia (hamlet/xephos' actions driving him to madness and unnatural action)#i still need to draw ophelia!lalna gimme like. a day. it will be done#ough just. xephos as hamlets cunning and ruthlessness but his natural inclination to overthink and ruin. and honeydew as the rare moments#of sweetness and relief. honeydew as horiatio who *is* hamlet's moments of respite#im not normal about hamlet. we all knew i wasn't normal about yogs so i dont feel the need to put a disclaimer for that but Ugh#gonna draw now i think#storyteller
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I genuinely wonder if I'll ever be fully over my cherry magic brainrot. It's everything I ever wanted in a romance manga like what's after this?
#cherry magic#cherry magic 30 years of virginity can make you a wizard#kurosawa especially is such a peak character to me#HES SUCH A FREAK#LIKE HES ACTUALLY SO INSANE#adachi isnt any better#im serious#its easy to miss but ive been rereading the manga like crazy lately#and adachi is so down bad#everytime he sees kurosawa its always#“ugh hes so handsome”#which eventually just turns into#“fuck hes so hot”#MY BEAUTIFUL PRINCESSES WITH A DISORDER#They're so unhinged and obsessed with each other#kurosawas fear of being hated by adachi is the only thing keeping him from being in an entirely different genre#like yes hes the perfect man because hes super respectful and kind and genuinely sweet to everyone around him#but he's also a maniac when it comes to being in love#i have so many thoughts about this man
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i think the thing with charles is so much of him is already given away freely and enthusiastically to the world it is deeply unnerving that people would stalk and go to the lengths of mobbing outside of his home because they feel entitled to a sick sense of demanding more. theres rarely a day that goes by that someone doesnt post fan interactions/signings/selfies of him off the clock because its clearly in his nature to be understanding and interactive with fans. the videos of him running to barricades to try and appease to people that have waiting hours for him to get a photo. the hordes of people waiting for him in restaurants and hotels and blocking his car. the ‘secret’ filming of him undressing clearly uncomfortable and knowing someone is recording him. a stranger kissing him as he walks through the paddock. a stranger posing as a fan to get close just to steal from him- i dont blame him for trying to regain some autonomy in that situation at all. this isnt even to go into ferrari posting videos of him in ice baths before every race to farm engagement. all the deeply detailed fantasy you are charles leclercs significant other posts with hundreds of notes- i know this all for fun and ‘just fiction’ but you really dont know who is on the other side of the screen and what world they are living in. i would hope no one following me or anyone on here would ever cross a boundary as heinous as doxxing him but i do think we have to step back. just because something is posted online does not mean it is not a massive invasion of a real human beings privacy.
#charles leclerc#f1#furthermore who he or any driver is dating and what u think of them: literally not any of our business#idk he is a real human being not a toy/idea/fanfic wangst concept. he is so generous to people even in his insta story#asking people to not wait outside of his home and ring his doorbell he is bargaining terms of his own privacy to people!#that is so deeply sad!#i know im the aha unhinged charles leclerc post blog but i know these people must be online somewhere#and i think we need to be more alert to the fact obsession/stalking feeds from online communities where it is (ugh) normalized#esp from fandom mindset hivemind mentality.
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One day I will learn, that just because the bottle is low, does not mean I need to finish off the bottle.
#imma be so fuckin hungover tomorrow#someone should kiss me#and i moght be either asexual or aromantic or both which like woo thats funny to only me for so many trauma reasons#i love#im so drunk#i too drunk#i stated typing thos at 12:30#imma smoke pot after i post this#if your reqding my tags hi i love you. why are you reading this though like im a schizo bipolar depreased trans girl im unhinged in the tags#i need to stop drinking by myself#if think im an alcoholic as well if it wasnt for the fact that i can genuinely stop when ever i want but idkmaybe that changes?#at this point im just typing to annoy myself cause i think its funny to annoy other people and itd be hypothetical to not annoy myself#im ramblimg in the tags and honestly its your fault for still reading this#trans thought time#i wish i was born with a pussy but i do like having a cock and there is a possibility im genderfluid and fuck me that sucks if true#like how do you transition if your genderfluid? like i kinda want a cock and pussy and i know thats an actual option#but is it the right option?#i hate being trans but not knowing what kinda trans maybe ill hit where im at with my gender and just say tranny#cause i already say faggot for my sexuality instead of anything specific maybe i should just say tranny#this is probably what a therapist is for but idk if i can justify paying for this instead of saving money to buy a hoise#america sucks#capitalism sucks#love is such a bullshit thing#how can i be in love with some ane be in love with someone. being in love is nothing but selfish but also you have to be selfish for youryou#like i know that doesn't make sense sense but it makes sense to me and i also know its wrong#maybe i should give up and spend money on a therapist#i love my freinds and would sacrifice myself for them literally#12:51 and i have one more short tag to add#i hope you didnt read this far cause even in a drunk state this tag is embarrassing and im sorry you know me irl im sorry this is rambly+ugh#but if you dead read all the tags <3 i love yoh and would die for you
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this year i am experiencing having someone's mars (and chiron) in my 8H, and im going absolutely feral over them, like. im insane. ive lost whatever inhibitions i used to have. i am free and wild 🩷
#me experiencing attraction for the first time at the age of 26 and its only for someone whose mars is in my 8th house 😩🤌#astrology and synastry are real btw...im proof of that 😭#ive NEVER felt this way for anyone ever and im learning so much about myself its rly cool actually! and good. its good#thank u slipknot man number 8 for awakening something primal in me that i had previously suppressed 👍#now i know that i AM capable of having unhinged feelings and desires 🥹✌️#like not only is his energy intoxicating but his lyricism has me feeling STUPID ugh 😩 in multiple ways#i love passionate artists so much UGGGHH 🥺💖💖#anyway dont u judge me ok? im trusting u and opening up to all of u rn so ur not allowed to judge me (thats a rule)#txt
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Person who has not watched naruto: So why is naruto the main character? He seems lame compared to other characters
Me: sir. SIR. That is my beautiful sunshine child, who I adore. HOW DARE U??? Naruto will heal the ninja world thru love and empathy and he will not stop no matter what 😭
#he called me a naruto stan. im not a stan. that implies i dont hate everything abt naruto which i do but i also love it#whatever. hes also called me a jerma stan before and that did fucking fatal damage to my psyche#naruto is the best naruto character. u cant change my mind. iruka is also the best naruto character#naruto is just a baby to me. i love him so#fucking. my lab mate was indulging me with asking naruto questions today. stuff sounds so unhinged when u just describe it#like theres so much weird eyeball and alien stuff#naruto ramblings#unrelated#ugh i kinda hate when ppl irl ask me to talk abt things im unhinged abt. its embarrassing bc i kno im over enthusiastic and fixate too much#and they dont care as much as i do
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POV ur me 🥴❤️
Models: KandiTVOfficial, Wawari, れんとん
Stage: Ketokeas, Ame-Yuki
Effects: Rui, O_Tamon, Harigane, Beamman, Elle, Ikeno, Glam, かき
#GOD HES SO FUCKING FINEEEEEEEE IM TELLING YOUUUUUUUUUUUU#UGH#marble hornets#slenderverse#hoody marble hornets#brian thomas#mmd#mikumikudance#RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE HIMMMMMMMM#im so sorry im so unhinged rn#❤️❤️❤️
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even tho im so fucking pissed at dean rn (again 💀) the number one thing to keep in mind is that how i look at him in this arc is exactly comparable to how i look at daniil at the end of patho
#funnily enough!#basically something actually world view shattering is revealed that causes a singular obsession that makes you act like an unhinged freak#partly just bc you abandon everything else to reach your goal. but partly to cope as well#bc ive seen the last 2 eps i know this plan isnt gonna be the one that gets us to the end but still for now im just rlly sad#(esp bc shit like this is gonna take years to untangle psychologically but bc again ive seen the end so i know theres no satisfying send of#and jack is just gonna leave and its no big deal? ugh)#EDIT im writing an essay abt this LMAO im at the billie reveal and everything going according to chucks plan reveal#and the parallels are only getting stronger#yes these characters are not related at all im just SAYING these two characters relevant to me are sooo similar and you can#rlly understand ones actions if you understand the others already
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Idk. Lately I've been a lil shy about posting my Justin and Lawrence drawings XD
#lerons rambles#Idkk whyyy#I wanna post them but then Im lik omgg so embarrassing#I've posted pics of them. Why am I hesitating all the sudden???#I NEED TO BE MORE UNHINGED#I NEED TO BE MORE CRINGE#Ugh I hate this feeling XD
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No cos some of the polls for this round is the most difficult shit ever
Scott and Jimmy
Cleo and Eret
tango and Wilbur
PEARL AND PHILZA?!?!
I care about too many of these silly block guys to pick
#exspecilay pearl and philza#pearl is one of my favourite hermits ans she was so unhinged in dl ...dbdbdbdb i cant not pick her#but also philza Minecraft... philza MINECRAFT....ugh#also the tango wilbur one#as much as i love tango ...he has not taking up as much brain rot soace as cwilbur has#that man is made pathetic wet cat since birth#hhhhhggggg#btw im talking about the sexy man tournament...if that wasn't clear
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Thought# 45 of ?
How do you beat into someone to listen to you when you say, “No.” and they totally disregard it?
Because it makes me feel the homicidal thoughts and the feeling of being obsolete, not worth the time of being acknowledged.
…
I have so many problems.
#just struggling#mental health#go brrr#like why#shit at 12 to 1#murder vibes#try not to be unhinged#but i’m so tired#I’m also constantly angry#gotta get on that#with a therapist#when im not#broke as fuck#ugh#😑
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i'm feeling so indecisive and i don't know what to do hmmm....
#thoughtzz ��#should i be openly unhinged on this blog or should i try to keep it concealed....#being too transparent will alienate me further hmm#but also i need to pathologically overshare but also i want to be mysterious and normal ugh#im not even being perceived rn (feels so nice i was getting overwhelmed w all of that...)#but im still stressin because without a blog that is my homegirl i feel so lost and restless...
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Today my ex lowkey stalked me my partner and my friends at an event we were at so I got a flash tattoo as retail therapy how did your day go
#like i thought he was just ignoring me like i was ignoring him until he stood directy behind me and my partner at a stall#we just sort of stared at the merch refusing to turn around bc he clearly wanted us to turn and leave and bump into him#like pls how absolutely pathetic can you be!!! grow up!!#it’s been 3 years since i last saw him and im truly greatful that my biggest emotion was ‘ugh’ until he did that lmao#absolutely unhinged behaviour#but to be fair this is the same man who two years after we broke up was saying we should get married bc he wont find anyone else so like#feels on brand#other than that i had a very lovely day w my pals and bought lots of cute prints AND got a new tattoo#its a frog with a cowboy hat i have named him jeremiah after abi’s suggestion hehe#this is too many tags now uhhh#byeeeee
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🙃
#i think im at the point of hating myself that i have to actively work on myself ugh#i dont WANT to but whats the other option??#i kind of gave up on myself in like mid 2022 bc of health problems and shit but im in a more stable mindset so i need to just get back to it#im so ashamed to admit but i havent actively worked out (routinely) in almost 2 years 😭 i want to its just so hard to start again#and its not abt looks (tho i am in fact Gross&ugly its not abt that) i miss feeling energized and shit#i just want to climb up the stairs w/o feeling like shit!#the problem is..i be working 12 hr shifts and that makes it hard to find time for anything#its not consecutive shifts (at most 3 in a row) but it makes it so i dont want to do anything on my days off#like even hanging out w ppl gives me fucking anxiety bc of timing kms kms#im just rambling but like the point is i need to start taking care of myself#even trying to plan a shcedule is exhausting lmao bc my mind is like yes start on march 1st#but i know imma be fucking tired as hell so??? wtf do i do#and then theres the whole finding what works for u#bc what worked for me 2 years ago will probably not work anymore lmao esp after my foot injury last yr#i hate this!!! i need someone to like plan everything for me or something. or at least hold me accountable bc i cant do that shit#i also need a diary or something bc i just realized how unhinged and pathtic it is to be talking to myself in public on here 😩😩#ignore me
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