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yesimwriting · 3 years ago

Text

Crossing lines

General Kirigan/the darkling x reader

Summary: This was requested by my friend @vvsdiamond28 who also writes and has a really good kirigan x reader story up right now! The request was basically for a fic in which the reader is out wandering at night and runs into kirigan while he’s in the banya and then they get to talking and some other stuff before he admits to only trusting the reader and giving her his real name. This gets kinda steamy bc of the request and bc the story called for it lol but it’s not full smut bc i decided that it would be better to do that as a part 2 so that i could add some jealousy tension haha

a/n i think im back?? Ive been working on requests a lot and ive really enjoyed writing regularly again. A small side note, after rewatching revenge of the sith im kinda in the mood to try writing an anakin fic 😭 pls he was my OG fictional crush,, so either send help or a request for him or something, Anyways,, back to this fic--ahh i had fun writing it but i still feel awkward writing steamier stuff so be nice!!

Those that wander in the night, lost in uneasy thought--there’s probably a lot that can be said about them. But I can’t think of anything to be said about me. Nothing good comes from walking around a place full of powerful and tense people in the middle of the night. It wouldn’t take much effort to interpret my actions as suspicious, and yet I continue forward. I’m an idiot--just because I can’t sleep doesn’t mean I have to wander around campgrounds. My presence is barely tolerated here, I shouldn’t try backstroking in waters I can barely tread.

But still, I walk, eyes more fixated on the open night sky than anything else. The moon is as full as an overflowing glass, the stars twinkling as if desperate to compete with a light it will never be able to duplicate. I sigh, pressing my lips together. Maybe the stars and I have more in common than I thought. Normally, that would be a good thing.

Letting out a weary breath, I continue forward, away from the relative safety of the main tents. I’m still on the grounds, I’m approaching the border where the tents of higher ranking officials are. That should make me more nervous, but if anything it almost eases me slightly.

General Kirigan is not the type to be friendly, and yet our interactions have always been laced with a touch of intimacy I can’t quite explain. We’ve been alone together more and more frequently, and I think that’s how I like him best. It’s strange, but when we’re alone some of his sharpness dulls, leaving space for something I might consider humor or actual personality on anyone else. He probably speaks to many girls like that when they’re alone together--a fact I have to fight to remind myself of--but it’s the closest thing to friendship I have here. Maybe it’s foolish to hold onto that, but I can’t bring myself to release my grip on those sentiments. At least not yet, when the kind moments are still rare and fleeting and no line has been crossed.

The danger, however, comes from the prospect of not recognizing lines before they’re crossed. Even now, as I walk aimlessly in the night, pacing in hopes of exhausting my thoughts, I’m crossing lines in a much more literal way and even these are ill defined. I must be in new territory now, and even that I can only vaguely recognize because of the strangely humid scent that surrounds this area of the grounds.

I’m near the banya. I didn’t intend to wander here, but the thought of splashing water on my face is too tempting to pass up on. I move closer, finding a sense of peace in having some direction, even in a small way.

When the promise of water is only steps away, I begin to regret everything. There’s a figure in the bath. I freeze, ready to attempt to shrink away in hopes of disappearing before I’m caught. This could easily turn extremely awkward even though I technically haven’t done anything. Most people don’t bathe at this hour. Who bathes this late at night?

I keep my eyes on the individual, trying to make out who they are and how aware they are of their surroundings in the dim light. Pale skin, dark hair--unbelievably attractive torso. My eyes linger there longer than they should. I force my gaze upwards, towards their face as if that can erase my ogling. Embarrassment leaves my face burning--I’m not the ‘ogling’ type, and this person doesn’t even know I’m here. I keep my eyes on them as I step back, taking in unaware features as best I can in the dark.

I know them--I--Saints, it’s Kirigan.

Fantastic. Of course he has to be even more impossibly attractive while shirtless and wet. I turn my head upwards sharply, more desperate to not be caught than ever. I would never, ever recover from being caught. Whether he’d tease me or be angry with me, I don’t know. I also don’t know which option I’d prefer.

I step back again, my gait wider due to my urgency. Snap. The sound of both a twig and my chance of a stealthy escape being shattered. I cringe, craning my neck to the left in a desperate attempt to make it clear that I wasn’t watching him. I take another desperate step, ready to duck behind a nearby tree. Maybe he hasn’t seen me--maybe he’s distracted and assumed that some kind of rabbit or something passed by. He may not actively dislike me, but I’m not sure any semblance of favor he may have for me extends to this situation.

“Y/n.” His tone reveals nothing but his level of certainty. Ignoring him will only make me seem guilty.

I pause, keeping my gaze off of him. “Yes.” It wasn’t really a question, and yet I still answer it like one. “I was--I couldn’t sleep so I thought I’d get some air, and I was walking kind of aimlessly and I ended up here and I didn’t think anyone would be here.” Why do I feel like I’m making this situation worse? “I’m sorry--I’m gonna--I’m going to go now.” This is the kind of embarrassing moment that will come back to me when I’m trying to fall asleep at night. I know it.

“You know the polite thing to do after intruding is to make eye contact.”

I don’t think my face has ever felt this warm before. At least he doesn’t sound angry, but his voice doesn’t reveal that much. I raise my gaze carefully, turning my head slowly. “I didn’t mean,” I exhale slowly, “It wasn’t my intention to intrude.”

He straightens slightly at my words, exposing more of his chest. I stay still, eyes trained on his to avoid an accidental lapse. “You could make it up to me by offering conversation.” Kirigan’s tone is deliberate, his words measured and calm. I don’t speak, feeling like I’m being presented a test I don’t understand, but most of our conversations leave me feeling like that. “Only if you’re comfortable.”

And just like that, I’m backed into a corner. A challenge. To deny him now would be to expose the effect he has on me. My chin raises a fraction of an inch as I take in that assured half-smirk. “Why wouldn’t I be comfortable?”

Kirigan arches a dark brow, assessing my response. “Then sit,” his voice has not changed, “You want air and I want company.”

I don’t think anyone that looks as good as he does shirtless has ever had trouble finding company, especially with the smooth way he speaks. Despite this, I step forward to accept his challenge without calling him out on his coyness. Each step is the crossing of another invisible line until I’m near the water’s edge. I make sure to keep my nightgown at a respectable length as I sit down.

I make a point of extending my legs towards the water while leaning back so that I can’t be easily accused of being a coward. “I feel the need to warn you that I might not make particularly interesting company.”

He angles his head to the side slightly, drawing attention to his jawline and neck. I force my stare to focus on the water. “I’ve never found you uninteresting.”

There’s something resigned in the way he says this. On instinct, I look up, taking in the slight softening of his features. The release of his usual sternness only adds to his beauty, a fact that I’m already resenting.

“You may be the only one.” It’s not meant to be a deprecating comment, but I’m not sure my partial laugh softens my bitterness. I hope it does--I’d rather his interest than the interest of my entire unit.

Kirigan shifts forward, the water moving with him. “Do you think that any coldness you’re experiencing has to do with you?”

The question has me drawing my eyebrows together. What else could it be? I shrug, “I’ve considered it.”

He nods once, eyes hardening slightly. “Do you always have trouble sleeping?”

The personalness of the question shouldn’t surprise me as much as it does. Kirigan seems to only understand boundaries when he’s the one setting them. “Not really.” A partial lie--this time I’m glad I can’t quite bring myself to look at him. “It’s not uncommon for me, but it’s not something I deal with every night.”

I risk shifting my eyeline when I hear the sound of water moving. Kirigan’s now resting an arm on the rim of the pool, wet skin dangerously close to my ankle and lower calf. “It’s not always easy,” his voice is low now, “Being alone with your thoughts.”

That’s not the kind of reply I’d expect from him. I blink twice before turning to study his expression. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him seem so tired--so weary and human and in need of something. The line between his eyebrows and the far off quality of his eyes leave me with the strong desire to give whatever it is he needs to him. The urge to reach out, to touch him in hopes of breaking him free from his odd trance leaves my stomach knotted. That line is too clear to cross so recklessly.

I need to chase away the serious atmosphere he’s created. “Is that why you bathe so late at night?” I let myself smile, “To avoid thoughts?”

“I like the peace of it.” Something akin to amusement touches his words. “And for the record, little dove,” the nickname is pointed and earns him an eyeroll, “The warm water doesn’t exactly chase away thoughts so much as encourages others.” He pauses. “You understand, considering you can barely look at me.”

This is the most embarrassing thing to have ever happened. The suggestive jilt to his words has to be intentional. Damn him. I turn my head, forcing myself to meet his gaze. “I can look at you just fine.”

“And if I were a Heartrender and could hear your heartbeat your pulse would be normal?” The question is teasing, a small smile pulling at his lips.

The warmth in my face increases, spreading down my neck. Kirigan’s expression remains smug. “You’re not as funny as you think you are.”

“No?” He leans forward, angling his head so close to me I can faintly feel the warmth of his breath on my lower calf. “I find myself amusing.”

At least being around him like this is getting easier. I open my mouth, ready to provide some sarcastic comment I haven’t thought out yet. My mouth clamps shut on instinct when I feel his touch on my ankle. The faint contact quickly grows, his fingers brushing up my ankle and calf, leaving drops of cool water across my skin.

“What are you doing?” That’s a--a fair question, right? I’m not sure, rational thought slipping from me more and more with each passing second.

“Nothing, really,” his reply is quick. “Nervous?”

There is no way he doesn’t know what he’s doing. I roll my eyes, fighting against my instinctual fluster. “No,” a full lie, “You’re just getting me wet.”

“Barely.” When he’s not busy being brooding he’s not much better than an irritating child. He retracts his hand slowly, fingers grazing my skin slowly as he submerges his hand beneath the water. The loss of contact should feel like a victory. It doesn’t. “Y/n,” he shifts closer, back straightening.

There’s an odd seriousness to his demeanor that almost leaves me reeling. “Yes?”

He beckons me forward. I hesitate, but comply, letting myself shift closer to the water’s edge. Kirgan’s lips part, but no words leave him before he moves his arm, purposefully splashing water over my thighs and bottom of my nightgown. I let out an instinctively annoyed sound. “That is getting you wet.”

“Kirigan!” My tone is as menacing as I can make it, but he continues to grin. There’s such a lightness to the look I almost forget to be annoyed. Almost. “I should tell the entire Second Army how much of a child you are.”

My threat does nothing, his smile softening without fading. “They fear me too much for your stories to make a difference.” He says this flatly. “All of them except you.”

I don’t know if I’m supposed to make something of that comment. A brief moment passes in which I think his eyes come close to softening. Maybe that’s a side effect of seeing the world as you want. Wait...what do I want? Him? No, no, I can’t.

Okay, he’s objectively attractive and sometimes I think I may see more depth in him than he wants to be capable of. But that doesn’t mean I’m allowed to want anything with him. Even if he was trustworthy enough for me to be with him in any capacity...even casually, it could never happen. Nothing good could come from having relations with the highest ranked general and I doubt he’d ever want me like that. He likes to fluster people and I’m an easy target. I just accept it because being some level of entertainment to him is better than being nothing to everyone.

“I don’t think there’s much point in fear.” It feels like a fair answer. The fairest answer I can manage, anyways.

He sighs, the sound heavy. His hand stretches forward cautiously. I watch him and make no attempt to stop him from touching my lower calf. His fingers trace absentmindedly across the skin. “Of course you’d think that.”

Again, I don’t know what to make of his words. Or his actions. He couldn’t find anything wrong with me just slightly adjusting my position. It’d be a polite way to remind us both of the natural order of things. But then again, someone like him is allowed to be mad about anything. And I’m not sure I want to remind us of our place.

Actually, I’m completely sure that I want the opposite of that. But admitting that to myself is enough of a risk. I’ve already crossed thousands of tiny lines and what I want will require us to cross a thousand more.

“I’m a little surprised you’re not reminding me how foolish a notion like that can be.”

He lets out a tiny breath as he shifts even closer to me. “Maybe I’m enjoying your foolishness.”

“I’m not sure if I should take that as a compliment or the opposite.”

The slightest hint of a smile is visible to me beneath the moon’s glow. There’s something about darkness that adds beauty to things. I wait for him to reply, but instead of speaking his hand moves further up my leg. I struggle to hide my reaction to his long fingers trailing up my skin.

He’s touched me before, sure. Tiny moments in which he’d push a strand of hair out of my face or wipe at a bit of dirt on my cheekbone. More recently, he had gripped my hip firmly to guide me through a crowd of soldiers. He had been in a hurry, stealing me from a conversation with the only member of my unit that’s been somewhat friendly to me. It wasn’t serious--he had just been rushing me because he only had a minute between meetings and apparently he had too long of a day to not take a moment to speak with me.

“Are you alright, Dovey?” Normally, the nickname and all of its variations earns him an eyeroll. But everything is a lot less humorous with his hand half up my lower leg, leaving a trail of cool water wherever he touches.

His fingers press more firmly into my skin. “Yes, I’m fine--it’s just late.”

“Hm…” Kirigan breathes before tilting his head slightly. “You’re warm.” I stay silent as his hand shifts slightly. “Perhaps too warm.”

If I’m hot that has absolutely nothing to do with fever. “I’m fine, General, I promise.”

“Come closer,” he says, “It’ll take me no time to check.”

...A little too convenient. My nightgown is still embarrassingly damp from the last time I eased tonight. “Please tell me you don’t find me that naive.”

“Naive? No.” He lifts his hand slightly. “Warm? Yes.” I still don’t trust him. “I’m not going to do anything. I promise.”

His eyes are dark and the limited lighting of the moon doesn’t offer me much in my analysis, but what I can see makes him seem genuine. “Why do I feel like that’s not the first time you’ve had to say that?” Despite my comment, I move towards him.

The back of Kirigan’s palm is pressed to my forehead for less than a second. He brushes his hand down the side of my temple, rotating his wrist so that his fingertips can touch my cheek. His hand then continues to move down my jawline and then my neck...and then finally trails down my collarbone. I bite my tongue to avoid exhaling audibly at the contact.

“Warm,” he concludes with a tsk, and yet he doesn’t withdraw his hand. “Though that could just have to do with the climate.” His thumb slips beneath the sleeve of my nightgown. “Perhaps you could benefit from joining me.”

I bite my tongue to avoid letting out a surprised, embarrassingly enthusiastic squeak. I don’t know what’s gotten into him...maybe it’s the night air and the prospect of being fully alone. I should be strong enough to break whatever spell he’s starting to place on me. But I’m not. I’m really, really not.

He pulls on the sleeve of my nightgown slightly. “I’m…”

“Unless you’re nervous?” Another damn challenge. To shy away from this would be to expose myself. He tugs on the sleeve a little more assuredly, exposing my shoulder to the humid night. “Do I make you nervous?”

His voice comes out a shallow rasp. I feel it straight in my core. “...Not more than you should.”

“More than I should?”

Ugh--too honest. I let myself get distracted. It shouldn’t be too difficult to explain what I meant. He knows he’s feared. He wants to be feared. “I’m sure we’re both aware that there are a fair amount of cautionary tales revolving around you.”

His hand falls next to my lap. Oh? I didn’t expect to miss the contact between us so much. His expression seems to have fallen slightly as well. Was it my response to his question? It felt fair and straightforward without being too blunt. “And you believe every cautionary tale you hear?”

There’s something stiff about the way he asks the question. His moodiness is making me miss his touchiness even more. At least then I didn’t have to feel like I made a mistake. Did I say something wrong? “Should I?”

“It depends on whether or not you plan on being brave.”

“I told you...I don’t see much point in fear.”

“And yet you’re still there.” A bit of humor returns to his voice. “Why is that?”

Rolling my eyes, I shift forward, letting my legs dip into the water. This is as far as I should let this go. I’ve already lost too much more control. “Better?” He’s strangely tense again, a hint of something bitter playing at the smug look he tries for. “You alright?”

“Of course you’d ask me that.” He says this with a tired sigh. “You can never make things easy.”

“I don’t understand.”

He shifts backwards slightly. I can feel the distance between us like I’d feel a pebble in my shoe. “Do you believe all the stories about me?”

Is he still bothered by that? “I didn’t mean it as literally as you’re taking it. All I meant is that people are intimidated by you, but that’s not a bad thing. It’s the way things have to be, you’re the only Shadow Summoner in existence and the army needs you to be intimidating so that they can act on your guidance.”

“The way things have to be,” he echoes, his voice strangely weighted. “There’s a specific kind of loneliness that comes with being feared by everyone.”

Oh--I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t that. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him feel defeated like that. I reach for his hand without thinking, pulling his fingers towards my lap. “I don’t--I’m not scared of you.” It’s a weak attempt to comfort him, but it’s the only one I can think of. “That probably doesn’t mean anything, but I--”

His hand turns in my lap, squeezing the exposed part of my thigh. “It means something.” Kirigan’s voice has hardened in a different way. “You’re the only person I’m certain of.”

Everything in me seems to tighten at that. At the implication of something so personal from someone so closed off. “Kirigan, you don’t have to be as alone as you feel. You talk to me all the time and you do so in a way that makes it easy to forget the cautionary tales.” His hand moves further up my thigh. I fight as I try to remember our usual dynamic. “You’re the only one that talks to me like that.”

“Have you ever considered that maybe the others refuse to take to you because of the favor I’ve shown you? The instinct to stay away from me is strong enough to extend to those around me.” Kirigan’s hand moves higher up my thigh. “To be near me is to involve solitude.”

“I don’t care.” The answer leaves me too quickly. “Being near you is worth it.”

He leans closer before resting his chin on my knee with no hesitation. “Careful, you don’t understand the line you tread.” Kirigan places his hand more firmly between my thighs. “Or perhaps you do...perhaps you know what you want to cross.”

This time I can’t help the airy sigh that leaves me. Kirigan pushes against my thigh slightly, separating my legs. I feel his breath on my inner thigh before I know what’s going on. I can’t move, I can’t think, I can’t even breathe. That inability to do anything but feel my heart pound against my chest only worsens as I feel his lips press into the inside of my thigh. His lips trail up my skin before his teeth gently sink into the top of my thigh.

“Is the line you want to cross?” He breathes the question so softly I feel like I’m being coddled. Everything in me feels too hot to think of any kind of coherent response. Kirigan uses his free hand to pull the fabric of my nightgown as high up my thighs as he can from his position below me. “Or maybe this is the line you want to cross?” Kirigan pulls me forward so suddenly I let out a tiny gasp. I’m not fully on the edge of the banya. “Or perhaps this one?” He kisses the skin of my inner thigh gently. Each time I exhale too loudly, his teeth graze my skin. He gets harsher with each passing second. “Lay down.”

My body listens to him on instinct. How is this happening? How am I this powerless to fight against something that’s so clearly wrong? The sound of water shifting causes my entire body to tense. He’s pulled himself out of the water. Kirigan moves above me instantly, water dripping from his toned chest and dark hair and onto my still damp nightgown.

Before I can speak, he’s on me completely, his lips pressing against my jaw. He kisses down my neck, his teeth grazing against my skin sporadically. He pulls away from me by tracing his tongue across my collar bone. I let out something dangerously close to a moan. “Such pretty, little sounds.”

“Kirigan--”

“The only name I want you to hear from your lips is the only name that I’ve not given myself. The only name that holds meaning to me.”

His lips graze where my skin meets the hem of my now soaked through nightgown. I’m not sure the poor lighting is offering me enough coverage now. There’s no way the thin fabric leaves much to the imagination while being this wet. He kisses up my chest and neck until his lips reach the shell of my ear.

“Aleksander.” The name is grace in the form of a breath so soft it’s more like I’m feeling the name than actually hearing it.

He presses his lips against the spot on my neck directly beneath my ear. I exhale into the contact. “Aleksander.” As I test his true name on my tongue, his teeth dig into my skin much more harshly than before.

I let out a partial squeak at the sudden shift in pace as his hands grip my waist. “Say it again. Say my name again.”

He traces his tongue gingerly over the skin he just aggravated with his teeth before I can speak. The soothing sensation is so much I can barely find my voice. “Aleksander.”

His hand bunches the bottom of my nightgown, raising the fabric to my hips. “...Say it just like that.” Kirgan’s rough hand slips between the bone of my hip and the fabric of my hip. “Like I’m the only one that knows you like this.”

“Aleksander.” I breathe as he traces invisible patterns into my skin with his lips. “Aleksander.” Each use of his name earns me extra attention--a stronger hold on my hip, a more adamant nip at the base of my neck. I feel my need for him so heavily I swear it’s leaked into my bones. “Aleksander.”

When he pulls away, I fight the urge to whine. The night is still humid, but with the absence of his touch I feel like I’m shivering. He regards me silently for a long moment before shifting his weight again. I feel my heart stall in my chest as his hand softly brushes a strand of hair out of my face. He lets his hand linger there, at the apple of my cheek. The entire world seems to stall as he leans down, his hand cupping the side of my face as his mouth inches closer to mine.

“I can feel the fluttering of your heart.”

Any poor defense dies in my throat as his lips meet mine. He gives me no time to think about what’s happening as he presses into me even harder. Kirigan holds my face as his teeth graze against my bottom lip. My mouth opens slightly in surprise, giving him the opportunity he needs to slip his tongue into my mouth. His tongue slowly brushes against mine, coaxing me into total, delirious, compliance. When he starts to pull away, I react, my hands flying forward to grab his hair. He lets me get away with tugging him towards me, prolonging the kiss as he bites my bottom lip.

One of his hands leaves my face and travels up the hands holding onto his hair. He pulls me off of him easily, pinning both of my wrists above my head with one hand. “Easy,” Kirigan warns, “You’ve been such a good girl, let’s not ruin it before we’ve started.”

A tiny sigh leaves me. I can feel the pride he takes in that as his hand trails further down my body. His fingers ghost along the hem of my underwear teasingly.

“Is someone there?” I’ve never damned the voice of a stranger more.

Panic and dread roll in my stomach. I’m going to get caught like this, with my nightgown bunched at my hips beneath the General Kirigan. An unclothed, wet, General Kirigan. “I’m bathing.”

Okay...good...Aleksander spoke. Anyone with common sense would run at the thought of invading on Kirgan’s privacy. It’s a good thing that the soldier had the sense to linger behind a thicket of bushes. “Pardon General, but there’s been a crucial development. A new strategy should be thought of as soon as possible.”

No. No. The thought of losing contact so entirely, of having a moment that should have never happened be ripped from me before it’s even really happened is overwhelming. I feel my lips pull into a pout. Kirigan’s hand adjusts on me, his thumb pressing teasingly over where I’m neediest. I bite my tongue to avoid making an inappropriate noise.

“Five minutes--I’ll be in the strategy tent in five minutes.”

“I’ll tell the others, General.”

Great. I hear the stranger disappear, his feet crushing twigs and grass as he leaves us. Aleksander’s attention returns to me quickly. Disappointment swells in my chest as I take in the solemn look that crosses his features. His hand moves to my chin quickly before pulling me into another deep kiss. It’s too short lived.

“I have to go.”

Frowning, I lift my hand to trace my fingers up his arm. It’s softer than I should allow myself to be, but it doesn’t really matter anymore. Not when this is probably never going to happen again. “Do you?” I mumble to myself, half joking.

He sighs once, his thumb brushing against my cheek. “No pouting.”

Now that whatever little bubble we were in has popped, I’m capable of normal feelings. Including shame. “I am n--”

“Easy, little dove, I’ll remember all of this when I find you again.”

This...this is going to happen again? “You’re going to find me?”

“I haven’t yet heard your voice crack on my name as I undo you.” He punctuates the promise with a kiss to my jaw. “Again.” Another kiss. “And again.” Another brush of his lips as he finally pulls away. “And again.”

My breath catches itself in my throat as he moves off of me entirely. Damn whatever change in the war that’s pulled him away from me so suddenly. I sit up as he stands. I’m not sure where to look now that he’s not in close enough proximity to cloud my thoughts. I should leave as he dresses, but I can’t quite bring myself to. It doesn’t feel safe, not when the man that interrupted us could reappear at any moment. Not when I want to hold onto his presence like this as long as possible.

He squeezes my shoulder warmly as he passes before bending down to press one more kiss next to where his hand is.

“Soon,” he promises again.

General taglist: @theincredibledeadlyviper, @grishaverse7 @benbarnes-supremacy @tranquilitymoon @kaitlyn2907 @lunamyangel @christinawxxx @deceivedeer @real-mbappe @tonks33

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safetycar-restart · 2 years ago

Note

Hiiiii 🍋 here! This is bit long bc head full many thoughts and also im v wordy sorry

The Seb pitch!! (With fair dosage of Charles and a bit of Lance in the mix oops)

I was thinking past d/s au setting bc it has BEWITCHED me it literally feels like all the itches scratched at once but I digress

I have a lot of feelings about late Ferrari Seb and just. The whole strain of it and how much of a relief it would’ve been to have an outlet like this, an opportunity to just let go. He is curious and even excited, at first, when Ferrari brings in a professional Dom. It will certainly be good for Charles who is on the verge of snapping constantly by then, and will hopefully be very good for him—he’d get to let some steam off for once, follow instructions and just not. Think. At all.

It doesn’t exactly feel right from the get-go, but maybe—maybe it’s normal. Maybe it’s not supposed to, maybe he’ll get used to it, this is a professional, surely, they know what they’re doing, right? Right? But time goes by, and it doesn’t get better, and it feels like someone reaches inside his ribcage every time to rummage about with dirty hands with no regard of what’s inside, and afterwards he always feels used and abandoned and in pieces and usually with a complete wreckage that is Charles on his hands as well, because apparently what happens to them after they finish a scene is not their Dom’s problem.

So he does his own research, and then he goes to the bat with the management to remove this psycho, but nothing happens. The contract is signed for a year already, and in any case, they come highly recommended, maybe he just doesn’t get it, maybe he just needs to try harder?

He tries ignoring the sessions. The problem is, he feels antsy without them, even as bad as they were, restless, and after the third one he’s skipped he gathers enough strength to come pick Charles up, because realistically he can’t be doing too good, what with no aftercare and Seb not there to keep an eye on him afterwards at least a little.

It’s not just not too good—it’s bad. Charles ends up in a cage with a tiger when Seb’s not there, and it takes such a toll on him it’s actually alarming, but he refuses to skip the sessions—he just can’t. But could Seb, maybe, go with him every once in a while? Please? So he wouldn’t be so scared and alone in there?

And it’s not like Seb does half-measures, and to be fair ‘every once in a while’ wouldn’t’ve cut it anyways, so he returns. His body gets less shaky after that, but his skin is still crawling sometimes, and he still gets a lapful of sobbing Charles every time and is completely helpless to do anything about it but keep going and trying to comfort and protect him as best he can.

Then he changes teams. He barely needs half a look at Lance to know that if push comes to shove, he’d have the same exact problem on his hands, and to know that he’d protect him, too, because how can he not? Aston Martin has changed the Dom at Lance’s request, which is encouraging, because at least they listen to their drivers if something is wrong, but also unnerving, because there is no way to know if the new Dom is actually any better without testing it out on their own skins.

The problem is, he is so tired. Has been, for years now.

He comes into the session squared up as if this is the last fight he ever fights, Lance half a step behind him, eyes wary—and you know immediately something is not right. You could’ve chalked it up to being anxious in the face of the unknown if neither of them has subbed before, but you know for a fact that they did, for a full year, and your heart clenches at the thought of what sort of damage had been done for them to come in like that. You’re prepared to go slow, as slow as you possibly can—take them out for a coffee, discuss their limits in as much detail as you can get, assure them that they’re free to set their boundaries and you will respect them, do some non-sexual subbing for quite some time before moving forward. You expect it to be a ride and a half before you get them to be comfortable with you.

The thing is, Seb is so exhausted. He doesn’t realise the extent of it himself, not really, but you can see him slip up, strain to be present during discussions; he admits he doesn’t sleep very well.

“Why don’t you lie down while Lance and I talk things through?” you tell him, and he kind of eyes you and lifts his eyebrows.

“Is that an order?”

“Do I need to make it an order?” you ask, and he starts smiling at that. Shakes his head slightly. You tell him to pass you the pillow from the couch and lay it on your lap. He looks at you curiously again when you gesture at the pillow, but lies down without questioning it.

He is really tired—enough for him to fall asleep in a minute or two, you and Lance quietly talking through some of his remaining concerns. You notice you’ve started to play with Seb’s hair only when Lance smiles at that.

“Did I say you could get up?” you ask when Seb wakes up, and he blinks at you, disoriented at first, but then smiles and lies back down.

“Sorry,” he says, flushing a little. You get him to stay on the couch with you for the rest of the session and even beyond as far as his schedule would allow. He starts to fidget when it gets dangerously close to his next meeting, but you tell him to relax and trust you to know how to take care of him. He looks up at you and swallows. Nods.

It’s the moment you win him over—because all he wanted for so long was for someone to take care of him, even if just for a bit, take the responsibility from his shoulders for just one moment. He almost collapses into your hands as a result, willing to give you whatever you ask of him, and you actually have to hold him back a little because of how eager he is to give back twofold.

It also becomes your thing after that—him lying in your lap, whether it’s because he needs rest, or is lapping at your fingers while Lance helps you get him off, or hides his face in your knees while sitting before you on his heels, whining and straining not to come as a plug is buzzing away deep inside of him and you pull at his hair gently, telling him what a good boy he is, taking it so well for you.

Holy fuck 🍋 this is INCREDIBLE. Seriously this is so SO good I can’t even.... I am so impressed holy fuck.

Ok ok I’m gonna do my best to add some thoughts but I honestly don’t know how I can make this any better because it’s so fucking good.

Seb always trying to look after Charles is so sad but he can’t stop himself. He has to protect charles. Even though he’s so hurt himself, he has to.

I also think that watching Charles get worse and worse also makes it so much worse for Seb? Cause Charles is just.... falling apart.

Seb can turn away and refuse to be dommed and yes he’ll have some negative consequences and eventually have to go back, but at least he can function for a while. Charles can’t. Charles can’t function AT ALL.

And yeah eventually he just has to go back. It’s not any better than it was before. He hates it. And the worst is, he can’t even allow himself to drop deep into subspace and ignore it all, because he has to look out for Charles.

Their aftercare is just Charles sobbing in his chest as he tries desperately to comfort them both.

So yeah, he’s not exactly optimistic with Aston Martin.

While I do think lance had his own problems with aston’s previous Dom, they weren’t as bad as seb’s problems. Which is why lance isn’t quite as bad as Seb when you meet them both.

It breaks your heart to see how Seb immediately pushes lance behind him, trying to protect him. That lets you know immediately that Seb expects you to hurt them.

You sit them down and start to tell them how you work, and you can see how seb’s shoulders start dropping. It’s like the moment his body realises that he’s sort of safe with you, he immediately just drops.

He doesn’t even feel safe, but his mind seems to believe you’re not going to hurt him or lance, and so can’t keep the walls up anymore.

Seb is so surprised when you ask him to lay down. He never expected that. If anything, he thought you might be angry with him for not paying attention.

He’s hesitant to lay on your lap when you offer it, but then you go to the cupboard and fetch a soft, fluffy blanket. And well, a soft pillow on your lap and you have such a nice blanket and honestly he’s just.... he’s so tired.

So he lays down, snuggling against the blanket when you drape it over him and he’s asleep so quickly.

You play with his hair as you discuss things with lance. Lance is weary of you, but much less so now that you have Seb napping on your lap.

Seb wakes with a start, confused by where he is and even more confused to realise he’s very comfy? And he’s not as tired as before?

Of course you’re going to make him stay laying down for longer. You can see how tired how he is, how desperately he needs someone to just take care of him.

You don’t miss the way he relaxes when you say “let me take care of you, I will decide when you have to move. You just lay there until I say so”

He just falls into your domination, so happy to finally have someone there to take care of him, to help him feel better and take the responsibility away from him for a while.

It’s almost overwhelming how quickly Seb allows you to control him, how he just gives himself over to you, like he can’t bare the weight of his own decisions anymore.

He definitely ADORES laying on your lap from then on. Even when things gets sexual, it’s still his favourite. Just letting him rest his head on your lap as you slowly jerk him off is one of his favourite things to do.

I think from there, Seb leans on you a lot? Even when you’re not supposed to be scening with him. He’ll just come to find you, curl up on your lap when he has a few minutes. Or even just talk to you?

He loves grabbing lunch with you, loves how you always listen to his complaints or just talk about his day.

One question still remains though, what about poor charles?

#d/s au #sub!sebastian #sv #nsfw.#gn!reader #🍋

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ahsokryze · 3 years ago

Note

hi I’m back with another prompt bc the first prompt fill you did for me was so so good and I crave more!!!

Number 10 from the same prompts list please? I wanna know what the day before was like from the previous prompt I sent 🥺🥺🥺

thanks for the prompt! I kinda got carried away with this… // prompts now closed

10 - hair ruffles

(this is a prequel to this prompt fill)

~~~

"I'm cold, Master."

Obi-Wan lowered his binoculars, looking from the vast expanse of white in the distance over to the only figure amongst the vast expanse of white. Anakin, adorned in his light blue temple-issue winter parka, was standing several feet away, leaned slightly forward with his arms dangling in front of him, looking incredibly bored. Though he couldn't see Anakin's face through the buff he was wearing (the buff that Anakin had so far flat out refused to take off—even for eating and drinking—which, surprisingly, Anakin had somehow managed to do. Anakin. Ever so intuitive), Obi-Wan could tell that his former Padawan was dawning his oh so familiar "i'm bored" pouty expression. Obi-Wan didn't even have to look at Anakin to recognise that face.

"I know, Anakin. But we only have to keep surveying for a little while longer. It won't be too long until we can head back to the ship."

Anakin let out a disgruntled whine, turning around to kick at a mound of snow with his boot. Obi-Wan rolled his eyes with a sigh, lifting his binoculars. Oh Anakin...

"Ugghhh," Anakin grumbled. "We've been looking for hours, Obi-Wan, and there's clearly nothing here. No Separatists. No droids. No wildlife. Nothing. So can we please just go home now?"

"Anakin." Obi-Wan sighed. To be fair, Anakin wasn't wrong. They really had seen nothing all day. Not even any wildlife—though there could be creatures burrowed and living underground—but that wasn't why they were here. They were here to search for any indication of Separatist control on this planet.

"I admit that there is likely nothing here," he continued. "We will wait five more minutes. And if nothing changes, we can head back to the ship. Does that sound like a good deal, my impatient Padawan?"

"I'm not a Padawan anymore, Obi-Wan."

"Oh?” he said, lowering his binoculars. “Then why are you acting like one?"

Anakin crossed his arms with a defiant huff, turning away. Obi-Wan had to hold back a chuckle.

"Patience, young one."

"I have been patient," Anakin replied. "All day."

"Oh Anakin. I'm sure you can manage five more minutes?"

"Yes."

"Good."

Obi-Wan once again lifted his binoculars to scan the frozen, icy landscape ahead of them. After a few moments, he let out a sigh. There really wasn't anything here. Nothing but dunes of snow and ice, upon more dunes of snow and ice.

Obi-Wan lowered his binoculars to look at Anakin.

"Ugh,” Anakin muttered. “And I thought Orto Plutonia was cold..."

The younger man was repeatedly dragging his heel through a powdery section of snow on the ground. He was writing something, Obi-Wan realised. At a glance, it read: IM BORED. Obi-Wan let out a scoff, rolling his eyes.

"Having fun there?"

When Obi-Wan's playful question went unanswered, he put his hand on his hip.

"Anakin, watch your footing. That area looks quite icy."

"I am watching my footing."

"Now he speaks." Obi-Wan muttered. He received a glare in return.

Obi-Wan watched Anakin for a few more moments, before turning round to scan the frozen wonderland another time. Snow. Snow. Snow. More snow.

"Master, look over here. I think I see something."

"What do you see?" Obi-Wan asked, turning back to see that Anakin was perched dangerously close to the edge of the ice river flowing close by, pointing at something Obi-Wan couldn't quite see amongst the rush of crystal blue water below.

"Look."

"Careful, Anakin," Obi-Wan said, watching how Anakin was crouched over a section of thinly veiled ice as he padded towards him. "What is it?"

"I'm not sure, I think it..."

"Anakin—"

"Ahh—"

There was a resounding thud. A sharp cry.

And Obi-Wan watched as Anakin slipped and slid down the side of the riverbank, submerging into the icy water below with a large splash.

"Anakin!"

—–—

"Come on, let's get you dried off."

Now safely back on the ship, Obi-Wan peeled the soaking-icy parka away from Anakin's shivering body, throwing it unceremoniously on the floor in a heap.

"Arms up."

Obi-Wan quickly stripped Anakin of his soaked layers, wrapping him up in a large blanket (they didn't have any towels so a blanket would have to suffice), and rubbing his arms and back in attempt to dry him off and warm him up.

Anakin shivered ceaselessly, even as Obi-Wan used the blanket to dry his dripping, icy hair, rubbing the sodden curls between the fabric in his hands, grimacing at the tiny ice crystals which had formed as a result of the cold. Once Anakin was mostly dry, Obi-Wan wrapped a new blanket around his former Padawan, handing him a spare set of tunics to change into—a beige set of tunics, to be precise.

"Sorry," Obi-Wan said. "They were the only ones I could find.”

"'s okay."

"Will you manage to get changed on your own?"

Anakin nodded, his teeth chattering.

"All right. I'm going to go start up the ship so we can leave this snowball, and then i'll come back to see about getting you warmed up."

Before he even gave Anakin the chance to reply, Obi-Wan swiftly rushed into the cockpit to start up the ship.

—–—

Watching the hypnotic swirl of hyperspace through the viewport ahead, Anakin sat in the co-pilot seat in the cockpit, bundled up in a cocoon made from all of the dry blankets on the ship. He was warmer now than he had been, yet he couldn't seem to stop shivering, feeling a deep chill lingering in his core.

With the sudden feeling of a hand ruffling through his hair, Anakin turned his head to find Obi-Wan kneeling by his side, a caring smile on his face.

"How are you feeling?"

Anakin let out a hum, shivering as he shrugged the best he could while wrapped in his blanket cocoon. Obi-Wan's brows drew in concern, placing his hand over Anakin's forehead.

“Are you still cold?” he asked. Anakin nodded.

“A little.”

“Come here.” Obi-Wan reached out and quickly rubbed Anakin’s shoulders and back, attempting to warm him up a little more. It seemed to work. Anakin’s shivering ceased. Even if it was just for a few minutes.

After that, Anakin slipped in and out of sleep as tiredness overcame him, soothed by the gentle thrum of hyperspace as their shuttle continued en-route to Coruscant. A few times, he woke up to the feeling of a warm hand on his forehead; his former Master intermittently checking his temperature, before he would drift off again, tranquillised by the endless blue and white swirl of hyperspace as they travelled across the stars.

“Anakin… Anakin, we’re home now.”

Anakin awoke to a soft voice willing him from sleep. A gentle hand stroking his hair.

“We just landed. We’re at the temple. Do you want to go inside now?”

Anakin slowly blinked, the image of his former Master coming into view. Obi-Wan was kneeling by his side, looking at him with a warm smile from outside the blanket cocoon he was still bundled up in. Anakin nodded sleepily.

“Come on then. I’ll take you back to your quarters.”

But, instead of heeding Obi-Wan’s words, Anakin didn’t so much as budge from where he sat, instead letting his eyes shut once again. His throat felt weird now, he noticed. It was all scratchy and yucky as he breathed in. And his nose was starting to run now too. He sniffed, but that only made everything feel worse.

“Anakin, are you going to move?” Obi-Wan whispered, lightly nudging his shoulder. “Or do you plan on staying in here all night.”

Anakin didn’t reply. Staying in here honestly sounded like a great idea. Yes, he was just going to stay here. He was comfortable right now. And the thought of having to leave his cosy little cocoon made him shiver.

Obi-Wan nudged him again. “Anakin.”

When Anakin still didn't reply, after a few moments, he heard Obi-Wan let out a quiet sigh. Then, he was being lifted up, and Anakin felt too tired to argue, already drifting back to sleep in his former Master’s arms.

—–—

Anakin awoke to find himself being tucked into his own bed. Obi-Wan was covering him with extra blankets, meticulously tucking the fabric in at his sides as if he were a youngling. Normally, Anakin would've complained, telling his former Master that he wasn't a youngling anymore—he didn't have to be tucked in.

But right now, Anakin couldn't bring himself to care. After all, it was making him feel all cosy and warm.

"Hey, Anakin," Obi-Wan whispered, seeming to notice his eyes were open. "We're back home now. I tried to wake you on the ship, but you didn't seem to want to move.”

Anakin blinked, slowly nodding. Obi-Wan gently smoothed back his hair, brushing away a few loose curls which had fallen into his eyes.

“Are you feeling okay?” Obi-Wan asked with a whisper. “Still cold?”

Anakin shrugged. When Obi-Wan didn’t seem to take that for an answer, Anakin sighed.

“Feel like…blegh.”

““Blegh”?” Obi-Wan questioned. Anakin nodded. ‘Blegh’ really did feel like the best way to describe how he was feeling. He didn’t feel terrible, but he also didn’t feel okay either.

“Oh, well, i’m sorry you’re feeling this way, Anakin.” Obi-Wan replied. “Though, I must point out, maybe there is some merit to listening to your old Master when he says “watch your footing”, hmm?”

“Was watching my footing.”

“Oh, clearly.” Obi-Wan deadpanned. “So you were watching your footing when you slipped and slid all the way into that ice river? Before I had to come and rescue you?”

Anakin rolled his eyes. Obi-Wan ruffled his hair.

“Why don’t you get some more rest, Anakin.”

Anakin let out a big yawn, his body already seeming to succumb to Obi-Wan’s words. Obi-Wan gently tucked the edge of his blanket under his chin.

“Goodnight, Anakin,” Obi-Wan whispered softly, placing a hand lightly on his head. Anakin felt the becalming surge of a sleep suggestion being pushed into his mind. His eyes fluttered closed. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

#natalie writes #my fic #prompt fill #ani and obi #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker

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cunningambitousdetermined · 4 years ago

Text

Do You Love Me? (I Loved You Part 2: young!Sirius x Reader)

ahhh im so excited to write this! @aseriousfckingmess and @iamninaanna AND @maraudersbitvh asked for this and i was so happy bc i had so so many ideas and even more feelings. thank you to everyone who read my last two things i’ve written, i feel so so lucky and so happy. and thank you to those who spurred my ideas for a part 2! thank you thank you thank you.

this is the second part to I Loved You which i wrote for @vogueweasley‘s challenge. so here it goes:

warnings: swearing, fluff, some angst, walburga being a butthole

not my gif

“Did it mean anything to you? Did I mean anything to you?” With that she turned on your heel and ran out of the dorm. Sirius stood and watched as you got smaller and smaller and with step she took, his anger ebbed a little. And then she was gone, leaving behind the boy who loved her.

“Mate,” Remus’s voice was cool and collected but the undertone of fury shook Sirius out of his stupor. “What the actual fuck did you do?” Remus swore often- he was always tripping over his long limbs, mumbling curses under his breath- but this, this, was calm fury. His jaw was wound tight and his eyes bore through Sirius.

“Moony, I- I- What?” Sirius whispered, his voice sounded like the sad ending chord of a symphony as it moved and filled and soared through the space between them. “I- I- She hates me?” The realization rocked Sirius so hard, he found his knees skidding the rough carpet of the floor, Y/N’s words filled every inch of his head, spilling out his ears, mouth, his nose. “She hates me.” The only person who had ever seen past the arrogant smirk, the only person who had ever wiped his tears, whispered his fears away. The only person who had ever loved him, was gone. Gone.

Remus needed to sit down. His whole body was buzzing with anger at Sirius. How could he hurt her? Why would he hurt her? It didn’t matter though. All that mattered was how sad Y/N looked, how tired and then how angry she had become. That wasn’t the kind, soft, funny, Y/N he knew. This was hurt, and betrayed and broken. He went to move the lumps in Y/N’s pillow aside when his hand brushed against paper. Remus dug his hand down farther underneath the sheet and grasped the paper. It was a letter and a stack of small papers, crumpled and wet with tears. He glanced down at Sirius, in his current shocked state and began to read.

Sirius shook the tears from his eyes and turned to find Moony reading some papers on Y/N’s bed. Y/N’s bed. The one he’d used to sleep in. The one that he used to whisper the love of his life to sleep in. His mind was filled with thoughts, memories, and ocean of words and kisses and hugs.

“YOU ARSE!” a screech shattered the rose tinted memories, Remus was up and towering over Sirius. “YOU ABSOLUTE BASTARD! I TRUSTED YOU! I TRUSTED YOU NOT TO HURT HER! YOU PROMISED! HOW COULD YOU?! SHE WAS NOTHING BUT GOOD AND KIND AND WONDERFUL TO YOU! SHE GAVE EVERYTHING TO YOU AND YOU BROKE HER! YOU BROKE HER!” Remus’s hands were shaking in an effort not to hit Sirius, he didn’t know the boy in front of him. It was occurring to him that maybe he never did. “YOU DON’T DESERVE HER AND YOU NEVER WILL!” He tossed the letters at Sirius’s face and with a turn Remus stormed out of the room and once again Sirius was walked away from, by the people who loved him most.

Y/N was racing around the castle, trying not to break. She just needed to find a place. She paced past the stairwell to the Gryffindor Tower and stalled. She had taken those stairs and cuddled in his bed. She had kissed him awake and kissed him goodnight there. The memories came in waves, flowing down the stairs, kisses and hugs, fights and making up, crying and laughing until their stomachs hurt. Barefoot, racing toward the common room, collapsing on the couch, reading out loud. His smile, his eyes. His laugh, his cry, his nose all the way down to his toes. She knew it all.

“Y/N?” a soft voice inquired, large hands placed on her shoulders, the soft smell of chocolate wafted through her nose. Remus.

She slowly turned around and was met by her best friends eyes drowned in worry. She croaked, “Did you know Rem? Did you know?” Her eyes filled with tears once more and she turned away, embarrassed.

“No.” Remus slid his fingers under her chin, tilting her face up to meet his eyes. “No, no no. I never knew. I never thought he could even...” Remus trailed off as the tears spilled down her cheeks, “Come with me, love.” He then tucked Y/N under his arm and started to walk. She dug her face into his neck and smiled softly as she felt his hand encircle her own with a soft squeeze. Right now she just needed her best friend, who had always been there no matter what. And somehow he always just knew what she needed. As they entered Remus’s dorm and he threw her some comfy clothes and a book, she thanked him internally. Thanked whatever higher being there was that she had ended up with the best friend in the entire world. Her heart felt a little bit light as she snuggled into his side and he began to read aloud as he had done so many times before.

“Rem?” she questioned, turning her gaze to his soft green eyes.

“Yes?” his soft smile gave her made tears fill her eyes in gratitude.

“Thank you,”

“What for, darling?” Remus let his hands card softly through her hair as she looked away.

“Everything.” That word held so much meaning for them. Everything meant all the full moons, all the hard days and the good ones. All the sad moments and all the happy ones, all the time they had just been there. The quiet moments of just reading and the loud ones filled with laughter and joy. Everything just meant Remus existing. Thank you, she said, thank you for it all.

Sirius would watch them from afar. His heart would ache as he hid around the corners as Remus and Y/N would walk to class. He would turn in his bed to hold her only to grab at cold sheets, to tell her a joke but she wasn’t there. To ask her if she really thought he was enough even if his family didn’t. If she didn’t think he was an awful person. Before, she would have held him and with words so soft, she would’ve told him how much she loved him and that he was real, human and it was okay to feel. But now, he was an awful person. Remus wouldn’t talk to him, Y/N wouldn’t look at him, and he was tired.

He didn’t sleep anymore. All he could do was lay awake in hope of never falling into the dreams where Y/N would yell at him. Would curse him, spit at him. It was all his fault that she was gone. His fault that she couldn’t meet his eye. His fault that she hated him. Even drowning in these thoughts, he felt a confusion. What had he done?

Sirius was sitting by the dying embers of the fire one night when footsteps echoed from behind him. “Sirius?” James’s groggy voice called, “What’s going on?” He didn’t answer. The footsteps got closer until James was next to him, sitting down. “Pads?” his voice had softened to one of worry, “Hey, tell me what’s up?”

“I can’t sleep James,” Sirius’s voice sounded like broken glass, the echo of happiness all but lost, “I love her. And I don’t even know what I did, but she’s gone. She’s gone. She’s gone, she’s gone, she’s gone. I love her. She was the only thing that mattered. I lost it all. I lost my family, my mom, my dad, my brother. My cousins. But I had her. And you guys but, with her... it was different.” James put a hand on Sirius’s shoulder and Sirius collapsed into James’s side. “She got it. And she was all I had. All that kept me good inside. The glue that held me together. SHE’S GONE!” and it went like that, Sirius sobbing into James, repeating how he didn’t know what he did, he loved her, he did. James just held him, his broken best friend as he cried for the girl he had lost. And James cried. He cried for his best friend who had been hurt so much and lost it all. He cried for the girl he once knew. But when his tears ran out and Sirius drifted off to let sleep’s greedy claws take him, he had an epiphany. Whether or not they liked it, Sirius and Y/N would forever be each others catalysts. The only way to balance was together. Apart, they would just keep on falling.

James found a sense of resolve as he walked over to where Remus and Y/N lay under a tree, reading.

“James...” Remus acknowledged him with caution, but James wasn’t done.

“Remus, can I speak to you?” he asked, motioning to a spot not far off from the tree, “It won’t be long.” Remus glanced down at Y/N who offered James a tentative smile and wave.

“Go on, Rem.” She said, “I’ll be fine.” With one last suspicious look, Remus got up and followed James to the shaded area where James leaned against the cool stone wall.

“Jam-” Remus began, but James was faster.

“Just let me say something.” James needed to know, “I just have to know. What happened?”

“Sirius didn’t tell you?” The bite in Remus’s voice made James flinch and he saw Remus’s face soften to apology.

“No. He hasn’t slept, he lost it last night. Just blubbering about love and how he just didn’t know what he did!” James cried, “What did he do?”

“Tonight.” Remus’s face hardened now, “Room of Requirement, and bring Sirius. We need to have a little chat.” He then whipped around and resumed his position with Y/N, placing a brotherly kiss to the top of her head. Remus gave James a look which he took as a sign to leave. Sighing, he trudged off, hoping that Sirius wasn’t going to end up in the hospital wing tonight.

Remus paced impatiently in the seventh floor corridor as he waited for is roommates to show up. Just as he was about to go drag them from wherever they had gotten themselves sidetracked, James rounded the corner, dragging Sirius behind him. James stopped in front of Remus and shoved Sirius forward. He looked up and Remus’s heart clenched. His eyes were sunken deep and his eyes held a pain so deep he had to look away. He closed his eyes and heard the familiar scratching of the wall becoming the door. Remus couldn’t stomach a glance back at his friends sad face as he pushed the door open. Inside, there were plush couches and loveseats scattered around near a small fireplace. Remus took up a position curled into a loveseat and raised an eyebrow in expectation at James and Sirius. They quickly took their spots. James sitting on the floor while Sirius sat stiff backed on the couch. The silence and tension thickened as Remus started Sirius down, his eyes burning through his long tousled locks. James finally had enough, “AHEM.” Sirius’s head shot up, “Remus, please tell us what the bloody hell is going on.” Remus sighed and pulled the stack of well work paper from his pocket. Glancing down and then at Sirius’s hurt face, he let out another tired sigh.

“What happened is that Sirius, our dear friend,” The way he spat the word friend had Sirius flinching and James’s eyes widening. “was using Y/N. To get back at his mother. And, and I quote ‘ It doesn’t hurt that I get sex. I mean I could have any girl but damn, she gave herself to me so fast. Even I didn’t know I was that good. ‘” He let out a hard breath as Sirius’s face still looked painted with confusion.

James had stood up and was towering over Sirius, “YOU DID WHAT?!” he screamed, “YOU TOLD ME SHE WAS DIFFERENT!” Remus was in shock, he had never seen James yell at Sirius before. And he barely ever saw James angry.

Sirius couldn’t even register the things that James was saying. He didn’t write that. No, no he didn’t. He loved her more then anything. She was the only one who cared. She kept him human in his family of monsters. She kept his feet on the ground when his head was in the clouds. He loved her. This was supposed to be the real thing. Like forever, this was it for him. “I didn’t- I would never- Remus-” The shock that she had read those words hit him like a knife to the gut. Remus threw the paper down at him and Sirius scrambled to read them all. Note after note after note saying awful things. Each time he read something he felt the knife twist as he realized she read this. His love. Thought.... he couldn’t even bare to finish the thought. He kept going and going. He knew he didn’t write these, his handwriting was neater then that, crafted to perfection by his mother. But all the things that the notes said; worthless, mudblood, fat, ugly. His Y/N was stunning, took his breath away, blood status didn’t matter. She was worth more then anything this world could offer. She was his world. The notes just kept going, the pile seemed endless. He couldn’t tell if he wanted to puke or go find you and get drunk on your kisses. He could feel Remus and James’s stares on him as he rifled through the papers. Just as he was about to turn away from them and tell his friends that theses weren’t his, a signet caught his eye. The Noble House of Black signet. He yanked the letter out and his eyes frantically scanned the page. His mother’s tone made his stomach churn. It was no wonder she hated him now. He might not be able to get her back, this was quite unforgivable, but he could put her heart at ease. He still loved her. But did she still love him?

“Remus, James; I didn’t write these” His voice came out raspy and shaky from the tears he didn’t even realize were falling down his face, hot waterfalls cascading on the papers. He cleared his throat and continued, “It was Regulus and Walburga. I know it. I love her. I don’t care about her blood status, I never have! She was it for me.” He lowered his head, “I know that I hurt her by putting her in harms way and she might still hate me, but I can try and fix what I’ve broken. I know I don’t deserve her and I never have, but she’s all I have and I need her. I need her to know how I feel. I need her know I love her and I’m sorry.” Sirius was crying harder but his voice was firm. Remus and James exchanged looks that very clearly said He’s telling the truth. Remus sunk to his knees and took Sirius into his arms. “Do you believe me?” Sirius’s voice was cracked and tired.

Remus tugged him closer letting Sirius’s tears soak through his sweater, “Yeah, yeah I do believe you. I’m sorry that I yelled at you, I didn’t even think.... but it all makes so much sense. She told me Regulus gave her the letters, and I mean Reg is a nice enough kid on his own but something seemed off. You’re my best friend and I should have given you the benefit of the doubt. I’m sorry. But if you ever really hurt her...” Sirius made a noise somewhere between a sob and a chuckle.

“I know, I know... you did the right thing. If I did that, I would murder me too.” The boys laughed and James joined the hug. Sirius gave his smallest but most real smile in the weeks it had been. He had his friends back, now all that was left was her.

Sirius was shaking. Like actually shaking. He stood outside your dorm door as Remus knocked softly. “Y/N?” he called, “Can I come in?”

“Remus? Come on in!” A soft voice floated out the door and he felt his mind go blank, his only thought was to get to her. James tried to shake him but he could only think about his skin on hers. The delicate shape of her hips and the small curve of her smile. His mind spun, would she forgive him? Could she forgive him? With one last glance back, Remus pushed the door open. Sirius froze. There she was. She had never looked more stunning in shorts and a old t-shirt of... his? Yeah, that was his shirt. His heart leapt, she was wearing his shirt.

Y/N was petrified. What was he doing here? Her heart clenched, he looked so soft, and her whole body ached with the effort to run to him. “Siri...?” her voice came out soft and wispy, high and broken. His whole face broke open at the tears in your eyes. Y/N whipped around, furiously wiping at her tears. “Leave.” she croaked, “please.”

Remus let a hand massage her shoulder, “Love, just listen to what he has to say. I would not have brought him here to hurt you, you know that.” She gazed up at her best friend with glassy eyes and scanned his face. His face only held love for her and strangely enough, hope.

She turned away again, letting Remus’s hand fall of her shoulder, “Fine.”

Sirius stepped forward and took a breath. This was it. There was no going back or do overs anymore. “Y/N, I love you.” he began, “And I always will. Those notes, they weren’t from me. Regulus wrote them after he told Walburga about us. He must’ve seen you sneaking in or with me in the yard. They took you away from me to hurt me. And I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you. I’m sorry for making you a target. But none of that bullshit if true. I love you and you are perfect. You are my whole entire world. You are my oxygen and I’m struggling to breathe right now. I love you so much and I know I don’t deserve you or your forgiveness but I need to know. Do you love me?”

Y/N was shocked. It all made sense, the notes, Regulus. The tears pooled in her eyes slipped out and she sobbed, hands clasped over her mouth. She had missed him so much and here he was in all his glory, with his long hair and his grey eyes, asking her if she loved him. She did, there was nothing to ask.

“Y/N?” Sirius whispered and she realized she had been silent for much to long.

“Of course I love you, you arsehole!” That was all it took to break Sirius and he was running at her and sweeping her up into his arms. Her breath fanned over his neck and he pulled back to gaze at the face he had been missing so much. The soul that completed him.

“Do you forgive me?” he whispered as he inched closer to her lips.

She closed the gap, pressing her lips against his and his heart had never felt lighter. She pulled away softly and Sirius panted as he laughed at the sheer happiness of it all. “There’s nothing to forgive baby.” She breathed against his lips and went back to kissing him. He kissed her neck and her cheeks muttering all the things he loved about her between kisses. James and Remus shared a disgusted but happy look as they slipped out the room.

“I love you Sirius Black and don’t you ever forget it.”

wow sorry the ending was rushed and idk but it’s done! thank you guys so much for reading this ahhhh im so happy that you guys liked it enough for a part 2! i love you guys!

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cupidhaos · 4 years ago

Text

just how much i love you

pairing: hong jisoo x gn reader

word count: 3.2k

genre: fluff, slice of life, established relationship, non idol au

summary: you recall each time you realized just how much joshua loved you and decide to return the favor

warnings: mentions of illness

song rec: better | jeremy passion

a/n: YOOO im a day late i meant to post this yesterday for shuas bday but then it completely slipped my mind and i forgot that time was a thing and i was like CRAP so then i was like u know what ill post it tmrw bc i mean its technically still his bday and hes a from america so it still counts anyways enjoy this tooth rotting fluff

you already knew that joshua meant the world to you - yet there are just some certain moments that come to mind when you think back on it.

one of the first moments that you thought of was when he was playing the guitar.

“whatcha writing down there?” you ask curiously as you leaned over joshua’s shoulder, trying to take a peek at whatever he was scribbling down on his journal. as you rest your chin on his shoulder, you wrap another arm around his neck. a silent chuckle leaves joshua’s lips as he slowly closes the book - pushing it off to the side “nothing that you need to know of just yet”

pouting, a whine leaves your lips as you shake his shoulders back and forth “aw c’mon shuaaa - you’ve been sitting here all day playing your guitar and you won’t even let me know what you’re doing”

he moves to the side a little so that he was able to get a good look of your face. setting his guitar down on the table in front of him, he motions for you to sit down with him. once he realizes you won’t budge as long as that pout on your lips was there, he stands up to wrap an arm around your waist - pulling you over the couch as you loudly yelped in surprise.

joshua places you onto his lap as he sits back down. securely wrapping his arms around your waist as he looks up at you with large, apologetic eyes “i’m sorry - were you getting lonely without me?” he teases.

all you could do was scoff in response which joshua just laughs at. its quiet for a second before he speaks up again “i can’t let you see it just yet. it’s a surprise”

“can i at least have a hint?”

he smiles at your question, reaching over to grab his guitar that he left on the table. he places it on your lap, leading your hands to hold onto it with his own. you were glad he wasn’t able to see the blush that covers your cheeks as he guided your hands to the guitar chords.

leaning over your shoulder to look at your hands, you can feel his hot breath graze your neck, which causes goosebumps to spread through your body “place your finger right here on this chord, and just strum lightly - exactly like that”

after teaching you a couple more chords, he pulls his hands away from yours, causing a wave of disappointment to wash over you. turning to look up at him, you give him a curious look “what was that for?”

he just shrugs as he moves himself towards the end of the couch, a sly smile on his face the entire times. opening up his notebook, he starts skimming through the pages “just chords for the song that i’m writing”

“song?”

“mhm - for you”

your face immediately turns red at his response “what?! you’re writing me a song?! why!”

he gives you a look of genuine confusion “do i need any other reason asides from the fact that i love you? anyways - it’s not ready yet so you’re just gonna have to wait” was all he said before getting up and leaving.

“wait! you can’t just say that and leave!” you call out after him as he laughs.

“i just did!”

that was the first time you had realized just how much joshua loved you.

“y/n… whats that in your jacket?”

you freeze from where you stood in the tiny apartment that the two of you shared. it was raining outside, and you were drenched from head to toe. joshua gives you a questionable look as he crosses his arms, cocking up one of his eyebrows.

you slowly look up as you clutch your jacket to your chest, a dumb look on your face “my jacket? theres nothing in it other than me, myself and i” you reply back. his eyes squint towards you as you try your best to avoid his gaze “you sure?”

as you open your mouth to respond, you were cut off with a bark coming from inside of your jacket. moments later, a small puppy pops up from your jacket - wiggling its way out of your arms and jumping onto the floor. a sheepish look covers your face as you lean down to pick up the puppy “okay maybe i was lying”

joshua doesn’t even look shock at the news, only a tired sigh coming from his lips “i thought you were going to get groceries”

you kick your shoes off and you hold the puppy closer to your chest “i know i said that but! look at him shua! isn’t he so cute!” you ask him as you walk towards your boyfriend. he looks down towards you and the dog in your arms as he chuckles “you know that you can’t just pick up stray dogs and bring them home right?”

your shoulders slump at his reply, a pout forming on your lips “i mean i know that… but he was all alone in the rain and he looked so sad… i couldn’t just leave him there!”

he nods in understanding, wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you closer “i know you had good intentions - but have you ever considered that our little friend has an owner already?”

turning towards the side, you pull the dog in closer “well they just left him outside all alone in the rain they’re obviously not a good owner” you say under your breath.

joshua points towards the dogs neck “isn’t that a collar? have you checked if they belonged to someone?”

“no… but!”

“we can’t just steal someone else’s dog - they may be upset right now”

a sigh leavings your lips as you lean forward to rest your head on your boyfriend’s shoulder “i know… but he’s just so cute!”

“i know he is, but he isn’t our dog. how about this - after we return him lets go to the shelter and see if we can get our own?”

you gasp loudly as you quickly turn to look up at him, eyes wide and filled with hope “really! do you mean it!”

joshua nods, a soft smile on his face “of course - but we still have to return him first okay?”

you nod your head quickly, noticing the fond smile that joshua aims towards you “what? what is it?”

all he does is shake his head, brushing off the question “nothing, you just look really cute right now” is what he tells you - quickly causing your face to heat up. he places a hand on your forehead as he leans in close, causing your breath to hitch.

“you feel warm - lets go change your clothes before we go back out. we wouldn’t want you getting sick do we?” he tells you as he pulls you on your head, dragging you towards your bedroom. you just nod shyly in response to his question as he laughs quietly at your reaction.

that was the second time you had realized just how much joshua loved you.

“joshua stay back! i don’t want you to catch -” you suddenly stop your sentence as you felt a sneeze coming up. quickly burying your face into your elbow, you let out a loud sneeze. joshua shakes his head at you as he pushes you back down onto the bed “shh, just let me take care of you”

feeling weak, you’re unable to even fight back “you’re always taking care of me though - it’s my fault that i got sick in the first place…”

joshua nods his head in agreement despite the offended scoff that leaves your lips “it is in fact your fault. i told you to dress warmly and bring an umbrella, and what did you do?”

“i didn’t dress warmly…”

“what else?”

“or bring an umbrella when it rained…”

he hums in acknowledgment as you places a wet towel on your forehead “i would say i told you so, but i think that you’ve learned your lesson”

a small frown appears on your face as joshua continued to scold you. you open your mouth to say something, but felt a pang in your head, causing a look of discomfort to now show on your face. a flash of worry appears on joshua’s features as you groan in pain “take it easy okay? don’t push yourself” he tells you as he hands you some medicine.

you place in the medicine in your mouth as you reach for the water, joshua’s already one step ahead of you. he brings the water up to your lips before you can even protest, helping you drink. once he pulls the cup away, you frown immediately “you don’t need to take care of me - you’ll get sick too”

he just shrugs at your comment though as he places the cup back down “i’m your boyfriend - why wouldn’t i take care of you?”

you’re about to retort back before he cuts you off with a quick kiss on the lips. you gasp loudly as you look at him in horror “joshua!”

joshua just laughs at your reaction “you can pay me back when i get sick by taking care of me. besides - if i wasn’t here to take care of you who would be?”

you’re unable to think of a response as joshua wraps his arms around you to pull you in for a hug “don’t worry y/n - i’ll always be there to take care of you” he reassures, causing your shoulders to relax.

a week later, joshua catches your cold.

“i told you that this would happen.” you scold him as you bring a spoon of soup up to his lips. he just smiles cheekily at you as he sits warm in bed “i told you you’ll be paying me back. but you don’t need to take care of me either - i was just joking really”

a light laugh leaves your lips at his comment. you place the bowl down and turn to look at him, grabbing his face with your hands “and like you said - i’ll always be there to take care of you too”

his face turned from surprised to one filled with adoration quickly as he gives you a toothy smile “then we’ll be taking care of eachother until we’re old and wrinkly”

that was the third time you had realized just how much joshua loved you.

“did you make these cookies yourself y/n?” seungcheol asks as him and jeonghan take a bit out of the cookies that you just baked. you nod your head excitedly as you await for their responses “i did! what do you think?”

before anyone could say anything, jeonghan opens his mouth to spit out the cookie “what did you even put in this? poison?”

you frown at his comment as you turn to look at seungcheol “they can’t be that bad!” you retort, but the look of disgust on seungcheol’s face tells you otherwise. he places the bitten cookie back down as he looks at you with wariness “why is it… so salty…”

“what are you even talking -” you start off as you grab a cookie from the cooling rack, but you stop yourself once you take a bite - a bitter taste of salt filling up your mouth. you quickly spit it back out as you now understand what your friends meant “why is it so salty!”

jeonghan shakes his head at you as he picks up one of the cookies to inspect it “maybe you put in the wrong ingredient when you were making it?” this comment makes you gasp as you come to realize your mistake.

“i think i mixed up the salt and the sugar!”

both of your friends give you looks of pity as you drop your head into your hands “this is horrible how am i supposed to give them to joshua now! i spent the last three hours for nothing!” you groan. seungcheol claps his hands together as he thinks of an idea “i know! lets throw them away before he gets home! then he’ll never know of your failure!”

raising your head from your hands, you give seungcheol a deadly glare which causes him to freeze in his chair “was it necessary to say it like that”

before any other ideas are thrown, the sound of the front door opening is heard - causing the three of you to panic.

“i’m home!” a familiar voice calls out, and before any of you were able to even touch the cookies - joshua has already entered the kitchen “oh! seungcheol! jeonghan! what are you two doing here?”

“well you see, y/n here wanted us to try her oh so amazing and delicious cookies that she’s worked so hard on” jeonghan explains, a devilish look in his eyes. seungcheol sighs once he realizes what jeonghan was planning and joshua just looks surprised.

he turns to you with a curious look on his face, glancing back down at the cookies on the cooling rack “you made cookies y/n?” he questions and all you can do was nod sadly “i was planning on surprising you with them when you came home but -”

“y/n spent hours working on these wonderful cookies just for you shua - why don’t you try some?” jeonghan presses on to which joshua nods. you glare at jeonghan who just gives you mischievous look back. as joshua reaches over and grabs a cookie, panic settles inside of you,

“look you really don’t have to -”

“these are great!”

you pause from where you stood and jeonghan and seungcheol both have the same confused look on their faces as you. joshua gives you a genuine smile as he takes another bite out of the cookie in his hand.

“they’re - wait what did you say?”

he nods as he continues to eat it - no sign of hesitation or lie on his face “you did great on them baby! thank you for the cookies” he tells you, leaning over to place a kiss on your forehead. you just stand there confused as he ultimately finishes up the cookie before grabbing another one.

jeonghan and seungcheol share a look with each other before turning back to joshua.

“you really think they’re good?” seungcheol asks warily which joshua nods in response to “of course i do - anything that y/n makes from scratch is good”

you felt your heart flutter at his response as you just stare up at him with wide eyes. jeonghan stares at joshua intently as he watches him eat another cookie “don’t you think theres anything off about it? maybe it tastes a little - salty?”

joshua pauses from eating the cookie and you hold your breath as you wait for his response. he just shakes his head though as he continues to eat the rest of the cookie “hm, its a little bit salty - but i still like it anyways”

as he finishes off the salt cookie, he excuses himself and tells you that hes going to go change first and be right back. you nod in response and the three of you wait until he finally leaves the kitchen. once you realize hes out of range, all three of you turn towards the cooling rack - each shoving a piece of cookie in your mouths.

as if on cue, you all spit the cookie back out. seungcheol grabs a napkin and tries to wipe the taste out of his mouth “either joshua’s a really good liar and was trying to get back at hannie - or theres something off about his tastebuds.”

jeonghan nods in agreement as he throws away the leftover cookie that he had onto a paper towel “i have no idea how he was able to eat three of those biohazards without even flinching”.

“its literally a salt cookie what is wrong with him” seungcheol questions as he grabs a glass of water for him and jeonghan. as jeonghan reaches to take the glass of water from seungcheol’s hand, he shakes his head.

“theres no way he actually found that edible - he must’ve just lied so he wouldn’t hurt y/n’s feelings”

you just stare at the cookies in shock as you realized that joshua ate your cookies no matter how gross and salty it tasted - just because you made them. a soft smile slowly appears on your face as you recall watching him eat the cookies you made - going as far as complimenting and thanking you for them.

that was the fourth time you had realized just how much joshua loved you.

“guys shh!” someone says as joshua enters into his apartment that he shared with you. his eyebrows furrow together in confusion as he takes off his shoes and his coat.

“y/n? you there?” he calls out as he realizes just how dark the apartment was. he waits for you to answer and immediately fills up with worry once he doesn’t hear your reply. he’s about to take his phone out to call you, but is stopped once the lights suddenly turn on.

he covers his eyes as he tries to adjust to the brightness as loud pops suddenly filled his ears. moving his hands from his eyes, he is then met face to face with you holding a birthday cake along with the rest of his friends. confetti falls onto him as more party poppers were released.

“happy birthday joshua!”

his eyes widen in shock once he realizes what was going on. a wide smile covers his face as he looks behind you to see his friends holding confetti poppers as well as a large banner saying ‘happy birthday shua!’ on it. looking around, he realizes the rest of the apartment was decorated as well. he then looks at the cake you were holding in your hands.

“did you do this all for me?” joshua asks you in disbelief. you nod your head as you smile back at him “of course i did! why wouldn’t i?”

joshua just shakes his head though, the smile never leaving his face “i totally forgot it was even my birthday today”

his friends just laugh at his reply as one of them points towards you “you should thank y/n! they were the one to plan all of this!” he looks back at you as you turn your head away from him sheepishly “did you really plan all of this for me?”

you nod your head shyly as you feel his gaze now on you “i mean… yeah… it’s really not that big of deal…”

somehow, the smile on his joshua’s face grew ten times bigger. he leans down and gives you kiss on the top of your head “thank you y/n, it truly means the world to me”

shaking your head though, you look at him with a soft smile on your face “i just wanted to show you just how much i loved you since you do it to me all the time” you reply back, causing joshua to laugh in response.

“you don’t have to do anything - i already know how much you love me.”

m.list

#kwritersworldnet #joshua hong #hong jisoo #joshua x reader #joshua x you #written fics #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen oneshot #seventeen fics #svt scenarios #svt fics #svt imagines #svt oneshot

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commiekinkshamer · 2 years ago

Text

I can’t stop crying and I don’t want to live anymore

I’m not gonna do anything I’m so just so far gone. Colitis symptoms including symptoms I haven’t had for years are back, things are getting worse… and worse…. And the pain. The fear. The anxiety I don’t want it. I can’t take it

There’s no end. No relief. No hope of seeing a doctor. Just staring down the barrel of more and continually worse symptoms and pain. I’m completely hopeless. I’ve tried being hopeful for 30 years and every time every shred of hope gets ripped from me again and again and I’m tired!!

I’m tired of pretending to be ok when I’m falling apart and barely attached to reality most of the time. I’m tired of not being able to express that bc I will become an unbearable burden. There is nothing anybody can do or say to help me anymore.

Physical health issues notwithstanding, I’ve been ina state of crisis and misery since I was 11 years old. Almost 20 years of on/off therapy and high doses of medications didn’t help me.

Repeated traumas wore down whatever will or ambition I had left and now I have nothing.

Nothing brings me comfort anymore. I barely look forward to anything. Im gone. I’ve honestly felt like I died a long time ago ajd I’ve just been a ghost. Everything is dark. Everything is hopeless.

I can’t take the stress of medical fundraisers. I can’t take the stress of having my hopes dashed again and again at the promise of medical help only to have red tape or some other factor cut me off from it, sinking back to the absolute depth of Fucking hopelessness again and again after clawing my way out. I can’t take anymore flitters of hope crushed again and again.

Don’t tell me to fight with doctors. That’s worse than useless. I don’t have the energy to do that. I’ve sobbed and begged and sobbed and begged. Literally have sobbed and begged them. They don’t care and even the ones who do can’t help.

Physical pain is terrifying to me. I am perpetually terrified. Every day is a battle and every day I get more tired and more tired. It never ends. It never ends!

I am too exhausted. I can’t talk. I can’t speak words. I’m nothing. I have nothing left. I used to think I could revive myself but I truly believe I am gone. I don’t know what’s left of me or who I am anymore. I don’t feel alive. The only alive feelings I feel most of the time are fear and pain. I do feel love but it’s tainted by fear too.

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wellbafineline · 4 years ago

Text

Promise?

Harry is needy and you visit him on tour

hellooo this is my entry for ms olivias ( @bfharry ) boyfriendathon, im not entirely sure that anything happens in this but it is just reuniting w harry on tour fluff!!! i used the promt ‘harry’s number 1 groupie is his gf’ & this is my second full fic so pls be nice to me lol but enjoy!! also here is my other writing

also the title honestly has nothing to do with the piece i just picked it bc i though that line of dialogue was cute.

& heres livs boyfriendathon masterlist to read everyones entries!!

It didn't take much convincing for Harry to get you to join him on tour, actually all it’d taken was him to call you after one of his first shows on the North American leg telling you how much he missed you, and how lonely his hotel rooms felt and a couple of days later Jeff was forwarding you the plane tickets and info to meet them in Sacramento for a week of the tour.

It wasn't strange for you to visit harry on tour, but you both normally lasted a few more weeks before you caved and took the week off to go visit him, but a particularly needy harry and late night phone call with him listing all the ways he missed you, even after just a week and a half of being a part was all it took for you to take the 14 hour flight from London.

You were antsy to see him from the minute that you got in the car at the airport, but it was only increasing as you were walking with a security guard through the corridors of the arena. The security guard points you in the direction of Harry's dressing room as you turn the last corner. You could hear Harry's playlist playing quietly behind the door as you approached and knocked. ‘Jeffrey, said i just need ten minutes and i'd be there’ he shouted through the door ‘try again’ you laughed ‘not Jeffrey’

The door quickly flung open as soon as he heard your voice, immediately wrapping you in his arms, resting his chin on top of your head, and you both stayed like that for a minute before he started to squeeze you a bit too tightly. ‘Getting a bit hard to breathe here H’. ‘sorry love’ he loosened his arms a little around you, allowing him to look at you for a second before completely freeing you from his grasp, you looked tired from the long flight from London and your hair was a little wild because you hadn't had the chance to brush it in the rush from the airport to the venue he place a quick kiss on your forehead before letting you go to follow him into the dressing room to get settled.

There was probably an hour before the preparations for the show tonight really started, meaning Lambert would come with the rack of all of Harry's outfits and steal him away from you for him to get dressed and prep to perform but for now you were more than content with the position you were in. Harry had come back from soundcheck earlier and immediately lay on top of you wrapping his arms around your waist and his face pressed into your neck, while your hands were stroking through his brown curls while he sighed contentedly every so often.

You two stayed like that for the time being until people started to filter in the dressing room and asking for Harry’s attention to put the final details on the show and his outfit for tonight. You gave his hand a squeeze getting his attention to tell him you were going to find Mitch, Sarah and Adam and leave him to get ready for the show.

•··°　• ·*　　·　·　★　.　✦　　　*　*　　.　

The next time you saw Harry was as people were gathering to send him off onto the stage, you could hear the crowd cheering as the venue lights dimmed. ‘Come ‘ere quick’ he said as he pulled you by your hand into his chest ‘Need m’ good luck kiss’ he had the biggest cheesy grin on his face, you couldn't help but indulge him and match his smile. You bring your hand to cup his jaw, giving him a sweet kiss, but quickly pulling away, because you knew Harry and knew how he'd turn your good luck kisses into ‘make out in the venue hallway’ kisses, and you’d had enough teasing from Jeff about that over the years you’d been together.

•··°　• ·*　　·　·　★　.　✦　　　*　*　　.　

You’d made your way back to the dressing room ‘Ew! H you’re all sweaty’ you laughed as his arms tightened around your waist, clearly not listening to your complaints. ‘Missed this though didn’t y’.’ His voice is murmured in your hair with his arms still wrapped around your waist, but loosening so you could walk back for him to pack up and go back to your hotel, he’d said earlier that he wanted ‘his girl all to himself’ on your first night which you couldn't really argue with, being exhausted from the flight.

•··°　• ·*　　·　·　★　.　✦　　　*　*　　.

You were waiting on the plush hotel bed scrolling through your phone, checking social media while you’re waiting for Harry to get out of the shower, he was bound to be exhausted once his post show adrenaline wore off and he said he just wanted to take a quick shower to get clean, but now you were almost certain he’d fallen a sleep under the water.

The shower water turning off is what pulls your attention away from your phone, as you were in the middle of texting back your best friend who was checking that you got there safely. After a moment harry comes out of the bathroom, he was tying the belt of one of the hotel robes as he makes his way over and flops himself on the bed next to you, motioning for you to move over so you were both lying on his side of the bed, your head on his shoulder, and moving the few pieces of wet hair he missed in his hair clip off of his face.

‘M tired, glad we didn't go out now would have been asleep in the middle of some bar by now’ he murmured into your hair ‘Yeah, better off here’ you agreed, moving so that your leg was thrown over his hip and arm across his middle.

After a while of laying with each other he started to get restless, still some pent up adrenaline from the show, so you suggest doing the sheet masks you picked up in the airport earlier.

‘Y’sure your not tired? can do all of this tomorrow?.’ His arms tightened around your waist where you were sat on the bathroom counter putting the facemask on Harry's face. He scrunched up his face as you smoothed out the cold material on his face ‘M’fine just wanna spend some time with you.’

A little while after you had finished your facemasks Harry had decided he was hungry, finally crashing from his post show adrenaline and wanting to devour a bowl of fries from room service there was a knock on the door as you reached to put on the next episode of the show that you guys were watching.

‘it'll be food, I'll get it’ Harry mumbled as he pushed himself up off of the bed to get the door, grabbing his wallet on the way to tip the waiter. He returned a minute later with the tray of food you ordered, setting it down on the bed.

‘Missed you y’know’ harry starts as you put another chip in your mouth

‘Missed you two H, was only two and a half weeks though’ Harry scoffs ‘What not allowed to miss m’ own girlfriend now?’ You were already laughing as he finished, picking up a chip to throw at him across the bed. ‘Course not, like knowing you miss me’ you smile at him ‘always love.’

After finishing your food Harry’d moved you both back to lay in the bed with his head resting on your chest, his eyes fluttering shut every so often, he was clearly trying to stay awake. ‘S’alright H go to sleep, will still be here tomorrow, got me all week’ you told him, lips pressing a kiss to his hairline as you reached to turn off the TV so you both could get some needed sleep.

‘Y’promise?’

‘Promise.’

#harry blurb #harry fic #harry styles blurb #harry styles fic #harry styles x reader #harry styles imagine #harry styles x you #harry styles concept #harry concept #boyfriend!harry #boyfriendathon #my writing

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kimnjss · 5 years ago

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fix us | myg

⤑ series: do it again

⤑ genre: smut, rapper!yoongi x model!reader, ex lovers au.

⤑ rating: explicit.

⤑ word count: 6.1K

⤑ warnings: cursing, mentions of violence, dirty talk, fingering, slight nipple play, biting, oral sex (m. receiving), handjob, shower sex, unprotected sex (stay safe loves!).

⤑ A/N: thank you guys so much for waiting so patiently for this part! i had started it, but kept scraping it bc nothing seemed to flow??? i hope you like this one! nd even if you don’t, let me know what you think... im o b s e s s e d with the feedback! x

The cushions on his couch had been organized and reorganized at least six times. He couldn't figure out what position he should be in when you arrived. Although, you would just knock so somewhere near the door would be ideal. Right?

It was no use trying to act like he hadn't done anything. You'd be able to tell the second you saw him. You could read him like an open book, there was no way you wouldn't call his bluff in a second. Would you be mad? He did it for you, so there was no way you would be mad, right?

Standing to adjust the pillows on the couch once more, Yoongi's shaky hands were frozen by the knock on the front door. He could feel his heart trying to climb up his throat, ditching him to deal with you on his own.

Sock clad feet dragged as he made his way to the door, pulling it open as if it weighed two tons. The pounding in his heart slowed, skipped then began racing again just from the sight of your face. Your pretty face.

Freshly cut hair pulled back in a short ponytail, big eyes bright and lined with... mascara? Your full lips were set in a frown though, nevertheless, he still had the aching urge to lean forward and kiss you. Knew all too well what your lips tasted like, especially when they shined with that gloss.

“Why are you staring at me?” Yoongi was barely able to register your words, stunned from seeing you again after too long. Without a word, he was moving out of the way so you could walk in. The sweet scent of your perfume tickling his nostrils as you passed him.

Fuck, he missed you so much. You were standing right in front of him and he still missed you. How you use to be. He wanted everything to go back, didn't want to have to live with this tension between you two. It wasn't like you.

“You look pretty,” He found himself saying before he could even think. Like always, you could feel the blush creeping up your cheeks. It had been a long day, from working out with Jungkook, accompanying Jimin at dance rehearsals to running lines with Jin, you were beat. Hadn't really even looked in the mirror since you got out the shower, but here he was saying you were pretty.

Yet, you forced yourself to ignore the warming of your heart. Things were different now. You were different now, at least you were trying to be. His sweet words weren't going to be enough to sway you anymore, he needed to know that. You weren't willing to just let things slide, not this time.

“You said you had something to say to me?” With arms crossed, you decided it would be best just to get straight to business. No need for formalities, both of you were way past that. You kept your jaw set, expression stoic, not wanting to give anything away.

Clearing his throat, Yoongi nodded his head. “Yeah, uh.” For a split second, his hand found your hip... but he was quickly pulling it away, you didn't even have enough time to register it had been there. “Why don't you sit down, I bought those juices you like.” He fixed you with a smile, dashing toward the kitchen before you could insist that you were fine.

Sitting back on the couch, you waited. Heart pounding against your ribs and you tried desperately to calm it. It was just Yoongi, you've been with him countless times, on this couch, in his room there was no way for feeling so nervous. Why were you even nervous? Seconds ticked by before he was returning with a drink for you, your eyes catching his bruised knuckles as he handed it over.

“What happened to your hand?”

He lowered himself onto the couch beside you. From this angle, you could clearly see the darkening bruise underneath his eye, the split in his lip. Lunging forward your hands were on his face, turning so you could see him fully. “And your face!? Did you get into a fight!?” He was fidgeting, being weird with the way he refused to meet your gaze.

“Yoongi.” There was a sternness in your tone, forcing his eyes to meet yours. “Did you go fight with Hyoseop?”

He was batting your hands from his face, scooting back to create some space between you two. “It's not big of a deal,” His hands pushed through his hair, eyes focusing on the floor in front of him.

“Not a big deal!? How did you even... is he okay?” A dark chuckle fell from his abused lip, dark eyes rolling as he stood. “Is he okay?” He mocked your tone. “Fuck the fact that the prick made a fucking fool out of you, no, fuck that because you want to know if he's okay.”

Yoongi was right, but you knew how he got when he was pissed... especially if you were involved. Asking if Hyoseop was okay was the only logical thing to do. If Yoongi was walking away with a bruised cheek and a split lip, there was no telling how Hyoseop looked right now.

“Of course I want to know if he's okay, Yoongi! You can't just beat people up!” You didn't even know why you were raising your voice. You weren't even all that mad because Hyoseop deserved everything that came to him.

You could tell Yoongi was getting annoyed, frustrated. Yet, you were so use to seeing him like this, you couldn't bring yourself to care. “He fucking hurt you, Yn. What? Did you expect me to just be fine with it?”

“I can fight my own battles. I don't need you to take care of me,” He was groaning, shoving his hands through his hair. Quiet for a moment as he went over the thoughts cruising through his mind. A heavy sigh left his lips as he settled into the chair across from you.

“The fuck you don't.” His eyes were rolling again and you half hoped they'd get stuck that way. “It's like you live to make shitty decisions and I'm like some fucking cleaning crew that has to come to pick up after you!” He sure knew how to tick you off.

“Remind me when I've ever asked for you to do that, Yoongi. Not once have I acted like I needed you to come and fix things for me and you know that.” Now standing, inches from him.

You could feel your blood boiling like it always did whenever you were around him. He was just so good at getting on your nerves like it was some type of second nature to him. That and snarky remarks that never failed to remind you how brutally honest he always was. You hated that.

The laugh that fell his lips was sarcastic and extremely frustrating. “I'm fucking in love with you, Yn. Do you really think you need to ask me to fix things for you?” Three years was a long time to get to know someone. By now, you were pretty much an expert on all things Min Yoongi, which meant you could tell when he just slipped up.

Right then? Telling you that he was in love with you? That was a slip-up. Could tell from the upward twitch of his right brow, the slight hitch of breath- all quickly being replaced with that stupid stoic expression you had fallen in love with.

Normally, you'd let his slip-ups slide. Normally, they were things that really shouldn't have been said out loud. But this, this was different. This was something he had never said to you, not once. Something you wondered for years. No way would you let this slide.

“What did you just say?” You could feel your heart picking up in your chest because God! this relationship, this thing... wasn't one-sided. Of course, you always felt like Yoongi loved you, he surely treated you like he did, but there was something in hearing the words that solidified things. Until now you had been walking on cracked ice.

“I didn't say anything,” But of course, your Yoongi was a massive idiot. There was a tint of pink on his cheeks, eyes lowered to concentrate on the floor again. “You just said you were in love with me.” There was no use to mask the grin that was pushing its way onto your lips as you closed the space between you two.

“You're in love with me?” The crack in your voice couldn't have been avoided, there was still that possibility that he might deny it. Act as if those words had never left his lips. Being rejected by him was something you had never imagined, but at the same time, you had never full-on asked him if he loved you.

“Are you kidding, Yn? We've been together for three years.” Your hands were reaching out, tired of the way he wasn't making eye contact. Those pools of rich chocolate that always seemed to make you swoon. Usually unreadable, told you all he was thinking. All he was feeling. You just needed him to say it.

“I don't care. Say it,” You urged after he gone a few moments, just staring at you wordlessly. His mouth opened and you felt your heart jump, the anticipation of finally hearing those words getting the best of you. “I...” He breathed, frowned, lifted his hand to bath yours away from his face. “This is stupid.” He grumbled. “You obviously know how I feel about you.”

Yoongi was walking away, but you were just steps behind him. Stopping in the kitchen as he rummaged through the drawers, most likely just trying to avoid having to look at you. “It's not stupid. Why can't you say it?”

He didn't answer. “I say it to you all the time, but you've never said it to me once, Yoongi.” You felt like you were whining, but you hadn't realized how much this actually bothered you until now. He continued with his search through the cabinets.

“I love you, Yoongi. Do you love me?” You could feel the tears getting ready to fall. Hated how emotional you got when it came to him, but you couldn't help it. The thought of him saying no, rejecting you, just that thought alone hurt you more than everything Hyoseop did. Just the thought.

He had stopped in front of the fridge, hand hanging loosely on the handle with his back to you. Slow steps were taken in his direction, the palms of your hands finding the taught grooves of his back. His body stiffened under your touch, but you didn't dare remove your hands.

“I love you,” You repeated, hands landing on his chest as he turned around. “I'm in love with you. Tell me you love me back,” You felt pathetic, begging a man to tell you that he loved you. But this was Yoongi. Your Yoongi. It was different.

“I... really love you, so much.” You added emphasis to your words, loving the way his heart jumped underneath your palms. How fast his heart was beating. You moved closer, the tip of your nose brushing against his lower lip as you kissed his chin. “Nothing?” You wondered.

His lips shaped into an instinctive pucker, a kiss being pressed against the tip of your nose. You smiled, landing gentle pecks on his skin. “Why don't you want to tell me you love me?” Eyes shifting to find his again, a sad pout printed on your lips.

“It's obvious, Yn. I shouldn't have to say it.”

“Why are you being like this? I just want to hear it. Only once,” He sighed, lifting a hand to push your hair back on your forehead. Lips lifting into a soft smile as he stared down at you. “I love you, you know that.”

The confession had caught you a bit off guard and it showed in the way your eyes widened. Your breathing stilled for a moment, you knew he caught on. You see, Yoongi knew you just as long as you've known him; he had picked up on a few things in the past few years too.

“Don't expect some long drawn out speech, okay? I love you and that's it.” You couldn't help but just stare up at him, lovingly. He shifted uncomfortably, wiggling out of your grasp. “Stop looking at me like that, it's weird.” He was blushing, trying to avoid your gaze again.

Overwhelmed with happiness, relief, a giggle was slipping past your lips before you had a chance to stop yourself. “You love me,” You grinned, arms circling around his waist to pull him close.

“Yeah, Yn. You knew that.” His eyes were rolling, but you didn't care. “I don't care, you said it. I loved hearing it, too. Say it one more time?” Yoongi hadn't realized how pretty you'd smile from just hearing three little words. Would've reevaluated his silent love treatment if he knew this would be the result.

“Ugh, stop it.” He feigned annoyance, but you could see right through him. The faint smile that teased the corners of his lips, the gentle way he lifted his hands to cup your face. “I love you,” He mumbled, only loud enough for you to hear. Not giving you a moment to coo or reaction, he was leaning down pressing his lips to yours.

Body leaned against the counter and hands braced on his shoulders, you kissed him back. He's warm around you, the intoxicating scent of him intoxicating you, going straight to your head... and your pussy. He feels the shift, tongue teasing your lower lip as he takes a handful of your ass, using his grip to lift your body onto the counter.

There was no denying how much you wanted him, wouldn't even think to reject him if the circumstances were different. But, you didn't come here for this. You came here to talk and there was no way you'd be able to do that with the hungry way his lips trailed down your neck.

Your fingers curled in his hair, a desperate attempt to anchor yourself as he sucked hickeys into your skin, hands groping your bottom and pulling you closer. Legs wrapped around his waist, you could feel him. So thick, hard and ready for you. Fuck.

“Yoongi, wait.” You managed, causing an automatic still in the movements of his hands. His mouth releasing you, but not moving away. “I slept with Hyoseop.” The words sort of just fell from your mouth. Although you knew that he was already aware of this information, you hadn't planned to actually say it.

He was pulling back, glaring at you with a set jaw and pursed lips. “Way to kill a boner,” He rolled his eyes. “I fucking know that.”

Your fingers caressed the tightness of his jaw, soft eyes finding his. You didn't want him to be mad, you didn't want to fight with him anymore. “I mean, don't you think we should talk about it?” He was quick to shake his head, dropping it back into the crook of your neck. “Nope,” He mumbled, rolling his tongue over the dip of your collarbone.

You shuddered, stifled a moan as you tried to keep yourself from pulling him closer. “You said...” His hands were sneaking up the hem of your skirt, lips catching your lobe. “Yoongi,” Gasping at the feeling of his teeth sinking into your skin.

“You said you had things you wanted to say to me,” Your sentence was rushed, pushed out in hopes to beat the moan that was fighting its way up your throat. “Forget it,” The tips of his fingers tickled the skin of your stomach, stopping just underneath your breasts.

“No, not forget it.” Your hands were stretching out on his shoulders, creating enough distance between the two of you where you could think clearly. “We need to talk, Yoongi. Sex isn't going to fix us, we need to talk.”

He stares at you, studying your face. A hand slipping from underneath your shirt to grasp the back of your neck. Yoongi is dragging your lips to his, smiling faintly as he pushes his way into your mouth. He's going slow, in the way he knows you like, taking his time to map out each corner of your mouth with his tongue.

A moan slips when his teeth nibble your lip and he's full out grinning as he pulls away. Looking at you, waiting. He cocks an eyebrow, a slight question if you had changed your mind. A little out of breath, but still feeling the same. His eyes roll, “Fine.” He grumbles, a hand around your waist lowering you from the counter.

You hadn't realized all the shit that was wrong with your relationship until now. The two of you sat in Yoongi's room for a whole hour, just laying everything out. No sugar coating, no beating around the bush, being as brutally honest as you two only knew how to be.

It was nice, being able to get all that shit off your chest and to know that he was actually listening, willing to make a change. You were no saint either, a fair share of your problems were caused by you and you were more than willing to take responsibility, try your best to fix it.

On separate sides of the room was how the two of you stared this conversation. Yoongi sat on his bed, while you stared at him from his computer desk. As time ticked, you had found yourself migrating to his bed. Your head finding its familiar position on his lap, he played with her hair as you talked.

Yoongi's fingers twisted and pulled at yours, as he reminisced the time you had first introduced him to Jimin. The two of them bickered that whole night, Yoongi never missing a chance to prove Jimin wrong.

How weird, your relationship had only been a month old, yet he had no desire to try and impress your friends. You didn't know it at the time, but thinking back you admired that. He was always himself, all the time.

This was why you were so sure that you loved him, knew with your entire being that he was the one that you wanted to be with and you were willing to work through whatever to accomplish that.

The months spent apart were torture because you knew in your heart where you belonged. With him, like this, with his hand in yours, your head on his lap. You were happy. You loved him and he loved you right back, what more could you ask for?

“I love you,” Your words interrupted his rant on the way Jimin scowled at him all the time, catching his off guard. His eyes widened, stared at you for a moment as his cheeks darkened. “I love you,” He repeated and your heart fluttered.

“I love you more,” You challenged, not even surprised with the way he rolled his eyes. “We're not doing that,” He laughed, the sound mixing with yours. With quickness, you were shifting on his lap, legs easily wrapping around his waist. His hands settled on your hips, head leaning against the headboard to look up at you.

A chaste kiss landed on his lips, giggles slipping at the way he chased your mouth with his. “I missed you.” Fingers toy with the strings on his hoodie as you breathe out the confession. No matter how well you tried to hide it, in the past months. It couldn't be denied. You missed him like crazy.

You could see the emotion in the way he looked at you. Pools of sweet chocolate expressing more than words ever could. Seconds tick by, silence falling between each other as you become completely absorbed in each other.

Feeling the like you might drown in all these feelings, you break the contact. Open mouth finding his cheek, teeth gently sinking in. You laughed as you pulled away, catching his look of disgust as he wiped your slobber with the palm of his hand. A hint of a smile on his lips.

“I knew you were gonna fucking do that,” Your laugh is drowned out by the sound of the front door slamming closed. Loud chatter filling the lower level of the house, a heated discussion about God knows what, being led by Taehyung. “Do you want to go down there?” He wondered, fingers tracing the curves of your back.

You were shaking your head without a second thought, arms securing themselves around his torso as your head rested against his shoulder. “No, I wanna stay like this for a while,” He was being warm, kissing you, telling you that he loved you. You wanted to stay in your little bubble for as long as you could.

A soft kiss was pressed to your forehead as he nodded. “Whatever you want, baby.” He was pulling you closer, if possible, back leaning against the headboard as his eyes began to close. You nestle further into his embrace, breathing him in. There was something about having his body close, feeling the steady beat of his heart against your chest, the warmth of his body under yours.

Your lips seem to take on a mind of their own, finding his jawline and leaving wet marks there. He could feel him smile, but can't see it. His hands move to their innocent position on your waist, dropping to grip the firm roundness below it. You moan, teeth sinking into the conjunction of his jaw and ear in retaliation.

His hand draws back, spread fingers landing a loud smack on your bottom, making your body jolt and a yelp to slip from your lips. He squeezed, using his grip to pull your body further up on his lap, the feeling of his hardening cock meeting your core. “Fuck,” You cursed hips mindlessly moving against his.

“You two don't know shit! I'm gonna ask him,” Namjoon's voice boomed from the other side of the door, pushing it open just barely giving you enough time to release Yoongi's hair from your grip. “Yoongi, man... tell Tae-” His eyes became moons as he realized what he had just walked in on.

“Namjoon!” You screeched, trying to hide the obvious blush on your cheeks. The second you were rolling off of Yoongi's lap, his hands were moving to adjust the bulge in his sweats. “What do you want?” The monotone of his voice made it clear that he wasn't the least embarrassed.

Joon was wearing that annoying 'know it all' look, he loved to pull whenever he felt he proved something. Arms crossed over his broad chest as he looked between you two. “Are you two...?” He trailed off, wiggling his eyebrows in a way to fill in the blanks.

“We would've been if you knew how to knock.” You were slipping out of the bed as Namjoon mumbled a halfhearted apology, sensing his best friends annoyance, but not really caring enough to leave the room. The argument he had been having downstairs was long forgotten.

By him, of course. The heavy footsteps alerted you that Tae was on his way up. “What did he say?” He wondered, entering the room with Hobi close behind him. “Oh, shit,” He snickered, readying a snarky comment. You could basically see the gears turning behind his eyes.

“Fuck off,” Yoongi warned, not giving him a chance. “I'm gonna go, baby. I'll see you later.” You rounded the bed, a hand landing on his chest as you placed a kiss to his cheek. “'Baby'?” Taehyung repeated. “Are you two back together?”

Yoongi's hand caught your wrist before you could completely back away, ignoring his friend. “Stay the night.” He sat up, clearing his throat and shaking his head. “If you want. Please? Stay the night?” You smiled, noticing the effort.

“Okay,” You were agreeing because honestly, you didn't really want to go home anyway. “This some weird shit,” Hobi pointed out, turning to exit the room. His footsteps were heard, signaling he went back downstairs.

He was right, it was weird. But it was going to be your new normal. After hearing how much it bothered you that he never really asked for anything, Yoongi was determined to make a change. No more demanding, no more expecting, he'd ask and be okay with whatever you decided.

Namjoon was turning, following Hobi down the stairs seconds later. “Come down then, Yn. We can order a pizza.” Taehyung called as he followed the other two boys. Yoongi standing from the bed as you pulled your shoes from your feet. A warm hand landed on your hip, body being pulled into his warm embrace. He stood there hugging you, holding you tight as gentle kisses were peppered on the top of your head.

“I love you so much,” He breathed, pulling back to look at you as the words left his lips. Smiling, you leaned up to kiss him. You could definitely get used to this.

The steady sound of the shower was what pulled Yoongi from his slumber. The emptiness of his bed letting him know that you were the one under the water. Last night with you had been perfect, more than perfect. He knew that he missed you, but never knew how much until things were shifting back to normal.

Hours were spent in front of the TV with the guys, loudly talking over the movies that played while filling up on pizza and chips. You didn't leave his lap the entire night. Not even when you were up in his room. Changed in one of his t-shirts and stripped of your uncomfortable jeans, your leg wrapped around his hips and head on his shoulder.

You slept like that.

Sleepily, Yoongi pulled the blanket from his body. Heavy steps were taken toward the bathroom as a yawn fell from his lips. He pushed the door open, eyes finding his shirt on the floor, your lace panties thrown on top.

The sight had Yoongi's mind wandering, suddenly being hit with the desire to shower. A hand gripped the collar of his shirt, pulling it up and over his head before pushing his boxers down his legs. He peeled the curtain back, eyes scanning the length of your back landing on the swell of your ass.

Blood rushing downward as his hand ran through his hair, wondering how he could've gotten this lucky to be able to see you like this again. He was stepping in fully, pulling the curtain shut just as you twisted around to look at him. You flashed a grin up at him, “You're awake.”

He nodded, silently. A warm hand wrapping around your waist as he moved into the spray of water. His chest pressed against your back as he wet his hair. “You smell like Hobi,” He commented, lifting his head from the crook of your neck.

You laughed, nodding your head. “I used his shampoo.” Yoongi nodded, barely listening to your answer. He used the grip he held on your waist to move you aside, taking your position underneath the water. He reached for his shampoo.

Shamelessly, you allowed your eyes to scan up and down his frame. Taking all of him in as his muscles jumped and flexed with each movement, catching the flex in his arm as he squeezed a decent amount of shampoo onto his hand.

Your arms were wrapping around his waist, bare breasts pressed against his back. He could feel the hardness of your nipples, his hands stilling in his hair. His eyebrows rose at the feeling of you placing soft kisses against his back. “I wanna wash your hair,” The second you spoke, his hands were dropping at his sides patiently waiting to feel your hands.

Raising to your tiptoes, your fingers massing the shampoo into his hair. You could feel him relax against you, his eyes falling shut. Your nails gently scratched at his scalp, eyes widening at the moan that slipped through his lips. Just the sound alone was enough to have a rush of arousal pooling between your legs.

In front of him, his cock stood straight up. You had always liked the way Yoongi's dick looked. It shined wet from the shower water, a little on the thicker side and generously long. The tip a blush pink, just begging to have your lips wrapped around. Without thinking, you were pulling your soapy hand out of his hair.

He cursed at the sudden feeling of having your hand on him. Only a giggle acknowledge the effect you had on him. Your hand wrapped around his base, grip dragging up to his tip, watching the bead of precum that leaked out mixing the soap covering his length.

Yoongi's head was bowed underneath the water, the suds being washed out of his hair as he tried to regulate his breathing, legs trembling just from the pleasure your hand was giving him. Your whole entire body was throbbing, pussy screaming for any form of friction.

“Use your mouth,” He urged, in that sexy morning voice of his. You were quick to lower yourself onto your knees in front of him. His hand knitting into your hair as you rinsed him, not wanting any soap in your mouth.

Teeth tugged on the skin of his lower lip, his once-sleepy eyes now dark and lust-filled. Your mouth fell open as you leaned forward, taking the head of his cock into your mouth. Yoongi's finger's twitched in your hair, the feeling of your warm tongue teasing his silt making him groan. Wanton moans fell from your lips, as you greedily tasted the precum that had collected there.

“So fucking perfect,” He complimented. You opened up your mouth wider, taking him deeper into your mouth. Sinking down slowly with the help of the firm grip he had in your hair. Breathing evenly through your nose as he slid down your throat, tip tickling your gag reflex.

You fought against it. Loving the groans and curses that he'd spew watching you swallow him whole. Every last one of your senses was filled with him, yet your tongue flexed, wanting to taste more. “Fuck,” He groaned, the grip in your hair tightening.

Drool had begun to leak out of your mouth, flowing down your chin and onto your naked chest. The sight had Yoongi rutting forward, freehand lifting to brace himself against the shower wall. “You look so good... my cock in your mouth like that,” He could feel his orgasm approaching with each bob of your head, he wanted to feel the heavenly way your pussy wrapped around him, though.

With much care, he was pulling your mouth from him. His dick falling from your lips and hitting his naked abs. He lifted you off the floor, meeting your confused stare with a gentle kiss to your lips. “I need to be inside of you.” His words were mumbled against your lips, but you heard him loud and clear, your walls automatically clenching around nothing.

“Fuck me,” You all but begged. The slow, sultry smirk that took over his features held much promise. Yoongi lifted you off the ground as if you weighed nothing, pressing your back against the wall with ease.

His lips are quick to find yours, tongue swiping across your lower lip before he's sinking his teeth into it. A hand pins your hips to the wall, his hips doing the rest of the work to hold you up. Freehand wanders down the front of your body, toying with your breasts briefly, pinching at your nipples before traveling lower. He licks into your mouth, twisting his tongue with yours and you breathlessly kiss him back.

Blunt nails sink into the skin of your hip as you lift your hips, desperately trying to catch his finger. Yoongi's mouth falls from yours, head lowering to tease your nipple. Your back arches, moaning out. He grins, grazing his teeth against the hardened bud.

Yoongi pulls off, moving to pay attention to the other side as his fingers continue the descend. A broken moan falls from your lips as he gently caresses your soaked slit. Hands burying themselves in his wet locks, tugging at the roots as he went on with his teasing. “You're soaked, baby. Did you like having my cock down your throat that much?” He groans out near your ear and you're nodding before he could reach the end of his sentence.

He chuckles, darkly, fingers finally lowering to circle your entrance. Instinctively, your legs are spreading, silently praying that he wouldn't decide to be a tease. You wanted him so bad. Your head falls back at the feeling of him slowly sliding a finger into you, a labored breath leaves your lips. Yoongi's lips find the newly exposed skin of your neck, teeth sinking into the skin. A wet kiss quickly following, his tongue soothing the mark.

Your moan bounces off the walls as he pulls his finger back, pushing two in this time. The thrusts of his fingers much rougher, your walls clenching around his fingers and your stomach tightens at the feeling of his palm brushing against your clit. He watches you like that for a while, loving the twitch of your hips each time he pushed his fingers in. But it was quickly getting too much to bare, he was pulling his fingers from inside of you.

You whined, pouting at the empty feeling. He laughed, leaning up to press a soft kiss to your lips. “Don't worry, baby. I'm nowhere near done with you.” The blunt head of his cock, pressed against your hole punctuated his words. You moaned, thighs spreading to take him in. “Yoongi,” You panted, once he had bottomed out.

He answered with a groaned out, “You're so tight, baby.” His eyes focused on where your bodies met. He pulls back slowly, but thrusts in hard making you cry out. He smirks, head lifting to watch your face as he starts to fuck into you. With enough force to have your body hitting against the shower wall. No doubt you'd be sore later.

His head falls into the crook of your neck, the sensation of his teeth pulling and sucking at your neck making you weak. “You...” Your words are stolen as he pushes himself deeper, chasing the sweet spot deep inside your pussy. Screaming out a cruse when the head of his cock hits it, over and over again. “Fuck, you feel so good, baby. Squeezing me so tight, mmh...” His words are murmured against the skin of your lips, interrupted by the wet kisses and sucks he places between.

“Like you're...” He groans, a second hand finding your hips to pin you in place. His relentless pace doesn't falter, not even for a moment. “You're fucking made for me,” You could feel your body tensing, the orgasm staring at the pit of your stomach and spreading throughout your limbs.

“Fuck, Yoongi! Please-”

“You're so fucking close, I can feel it.” He pins you to him with his hips, a hand lowering between your legs to find your clit. He's so deep inside of you, but the moment of his hips doesn't stop. The tips of his fingers tease your clit, in the way he knew would get you close to the edge. The way your pussy clenched around his cock was evidence enough. “Cum for me, baby. Fuck- I love you so much,”

You had no idea if it was his confession or the feeling of his fingers against your clit, although you were pretty sure it was the former, but your body was being thrust over the edge. Orgasm washing over you as your hips began to buck, incoherent words of praise falling from your lips as you released around him. The sight, the sound, the feel of you falling apart had Yoongi falling apart with a loud 'Fuck!'. Ropes of cum coats your inner walls and your head falls forward to onto his shoulder as you tried desperately to calm your breathing.

He holds you to him the entire time, cold water falling on your heated skin, but both of you too fucked out to care. A soft kiss is placed on the top of your head as he lowers you onto shaky legs. Even still you're standing straight, closing the space between the two of you as you wrap your arms around his neck. Your lips find his in a sweet kiss, teeth clashing at the lack of being able to contain your smiles.

“I love you too. So much.” You breathed against his lips, capturing his smile once again with yours as he pulled you close.

– months after deciding to end their three year long relationship, a sex tape hits the internet. fans go wild speculating that rap star, min yoongi and aspiring model, yn are the stars. old feelings arise as the couple try to figure out a way out of this.

⥦ masterlist ⥦

⤑ taglist: @randomkoalablog @hellotherehoneybee @goldenlilyz @strapsforyoonie @brilliantlybasicb @itsrapmonstanotdancemonsta @ratking101 @butterflylion @swanqook @jaiuneamesolitaiire @cultleaderyoongi @honeybeesrec @crzybtslove @bangtansbun @snaconakookie @bookoffracturedescapes @seoulgotmysoul @tae165 @jimintulips @korkanswers @softwithbubbles @hosucki @sayanne @heyitsbreeeeee @ladymidnightt @thecityrain @isimyazaki @crackhead1-800 @sailor-moons-butt @honeyoongles @neptu-pysch @ashleyjoyx @falsegodtae @osnapjenn @betysotelo18 @mochibabycakes @withlovestudyblr @hear-me-growl @dee-ehn @jeonkoookiee @comingjimin @purpleheartarmi @dammit-jjk @mermaid-vader @karissacranley @neptunejjk @morgsstudies-blog @mochiloverbts @mini-coop25 @angjeon @seungkwanismyaesthetic @sugashoneyy @moonlightmvrvel @tahaing @bluefaeriefury @super-btstrash-posts @infiredbychogiwa @softlyjins @eugeneliem @moarmynation @honeyspillings @thefiresfromheaven @houseofarmanto @peterrogers15 @rjsmochii @xxxanimangxxx @sku11z-n-r0s3z

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hansoulo · 5 years ago

Text

thread count

Pairing: The Mandalorian/Reader (gender neutral, no Y/N)

Warnings: liek… cursing? mentions of nightmares. bed sharing. the works.

Word Count: 1.7k

A/N: posting this at noon bc im tired of staring at it in my drafts 🤡also i recognize that star wars decided glass is called transparisteel but given that it’s a stupid ass decision i’ve elected to ignore it. enjoyyyyy :)

“No.”

“Mando-”

“No.”

You let out a frustrated groan, your rucksack dropping to the floor with a heavy thud as you flopped back onto the bed. The one, single bed.

“It’s too late to go anywhere else, alright? We’re basically stuck here. Let’s just make the best of it, okay?” He grunted at this, still standing at the doorway gripping his disintegrator rifle. “Drop the ‘tude, tin can. Could be worse,” you mumbled as you reached to wipe a hand over your face, sinking into the soft sheets.

It was kinda nice, actually. You couldn’t remember the last time you slept on a real mattress, with real pillows and blankets that didn’t feel like sandpaper. The inn owner was sweet, a wizened old woman who’d only smiled when you asked if there were any rooms available. Just the one, she had said. Down the hall.

This was ridiculous.

The Mandalorian stepped forward, closing the door with a large hand on the rusted knob. The room was small and sparsely furnished, but it was a far cry from your usual, less than ideal sleeping arrangements, so you relished in the feeling of the pillows beneath your back before propping yourself up on one elbow, eyelids already drooping as you watched him. He looked… awkward. If you had any more energy, you’d probably laugh. “I could- ” he cleared his throat, setting the rifle against the wall, “I could sleep on the floor.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” you scoffed as you reached down to pull off your boots, throwing them haphazardly into a corner. You’d helped him with the occasional bounty for years, and known him for longer than that. You could share a fucking bed. Besides, it’s not like anyone else was around to see. Minus the baby of course, but it (he? she?) didn’t really count, right? It was already sleeping. “It’ll be fine.”

“No, I’m going to just-”

“Mando,” you glared, standing up. “If you sleep on the floor, you’re gonna be even more of an ass tomorrow morning. Just do us all a favor,” you waved a hand towards the baby in its pod, “and get over yourself, alright?” You reached down to the hem of your top, tugging it above your head before you heard him make a low, distorted sound - probably a cough, but the modulator made those kinds of things hard to tell. Left in your undershirt, you crouched down to stuff the fabric - dusty and soiled from a day of travel - back in your bag. “What?”

He shifted on his feet, his helmet ducking slightly at the sight of your exposed skin. “Oh c’mon,” you groaned, your expression teasing. “You stabbed a guy with a serving fork yesterday, Mando. I don’t think this could be any worse.” If you could see underneath his helmet, you’d be willing to bet he was blushing. Funny, how that worked. How he worked.

The bedsprings creaked underneath your weight as you laid down again, pulling the blankets out from their tucked corners. The window on the other side of the room lay open, bringing in a chill that had you drawing the covers tighter around your shoulders. “Could you close the window?” you whispered, tracking the glint of beskar through half-closed eyes as he complied with your request. His armor reflected orange light - dim and flickering from a small lamp hung beside the door - before it was snuffed out by a gloved hand. You let out a quiet thanks, not bothering to fight the exhaustion dragging at your mind as he stood above you. “I’m going to sleep,” you mumbled, turning on your side to face the wall. “Do what you want.”

⫸ ——-– ⫷

Flat, white light crackled across your vision and you opened your eyes with a groan. You could hear rain beating against the windowpane, glass rattling with every new roar of thunder in a way that had goosebumps erupting across your arms. It was dark outside, inky and fogged over save for the few flashes of lightning that cast the room in sharp relief. You didn’t really mind the storm - you usually liked them - but something about the way it sounded had you on edge. It was a bitter kind of rain, unrelenting and loud and really, really cold. Bracing yourself on your hands, you lifted your head, only to knock it against the edge of something metal. “Ow what the fu-” Oh. Oh.

He hadn’t been next to you before - no, you would’ve remembered if he had - but now... now he was. Next to you. And he… had a hand on your hip and- and you were still facing away from him but you squirmed, feeling the weight of his arm on your waist, heavy and slack. No gloves. No vambrace. No pauldron. Just… the helmet. No shit, bantha-brains. The Mandalorian let out a breath, the sound low and seeping syrup in your bones. Was he still asleep? Maybe you should- “Stop moving,” he rasped, his voice hoarse.

“Sorry,” you whispered, your words thick with sleep. “M’just cold.” It was a half-truth. You were cold, but the fact that you were pressed up against one of the most feared bounty hunters in the galaxy probably didn’t help either. Neither did the fingers digging into your hip. Or the arm tucked underneath your neck. Or the hand attached to said arm that was skimming across your collarbone, seemingly unaware that it was touching anything at all. He drew you in closer and you could feel his legs slotted into yours, your toes brushing the bare skin of an ankle (that didn’t belong to you) before your scattered thoughts were forced elsewhere.

“Then why’d you take off your shirt?” he mumbled. The rain pounded a rhythm in your head, lulling you down and allowing yourself to sink back into his arms. You didn’t really want to think about tomorrow morning. If things would be weird. There was a chance neither of you would remember this when you woke up, though, so it’s not like it mattered. Even if you did - if he did - you knew it was all business.

“Hm?” you said, tucking your chin and scooting back slightly. Your back met the hard planes of his chest, his skin hot and thrumming even underneath the thick material of his shirt. The man was like a fucking space heater. Ha. Space heater. Funny. You were funny. And tired. And- wait did he ask you something?

“Why take off your shirt if you’re cold?” he repeated. The last word trailed off as a palm moved across the expanse of your stomach, his thumb rubbing circles across the raised seam of your undershirt and burning the skin beneath.

“I wasn’t cold then,” you huffed, reaching a hand over his and guiding it below the thin fabric until it rested still on your sternum. A better version of you, more awake and with more critical thinking skills - with the power of thought in general - would probably kick you for using the Mandalorian like a fucking hot water bottle, but that didn’t really matter. You were cold - and exhausted and laying on a bed that was very, very comfortable - and he was warm. You couldn’t really be expected to take any responsibility for this. “Plus, the shirt was dirty,” you added, only dimly registering how your fingers laced with his, tracing battered, scar-shiny knuckles in your half-sleep. He hummed and leaned forward, the metal of his helmet rounding smooth against your hair.

“You’re thinking too loud,” he said, his breathing falling back into tandem with yours as you felt your eyes fluttering shut. “Go to sleep.”

⫸ ——-– ⫷

“Mando, wake up. Wake up, please.” Your voice was tremulous as you shook his shoulder, stretched over tight with desperation and knocking against the walls of the room. Your plea bounced back hollow, a high, unrelenting tone that made your ears ring. Everything was caving in on itself, crumbling slow and then all at once in a way that had the sweat on your temples icing over. You weren’t a child anymore. You shouldn’t have nightmares. “Please.”

He sat up quickly, a hand bolting out to the blaster tucked underneath his pillow and aiming steady at the enemy that had yet to show itself. “Is someone there?” he asked, graveled over but still frighteningly alert. A light sleeper, you supposed.

You shook your head, wet tracks crackling on your cheeks as you spoke. “No, no one. It’s fine.” He relaxed at this, setting the blaster down at his side. His palms were dry when they came up to your face, slightly calloused but still soft as they traced over the rolling tears.

“I’m sorry I woke you up,” you whispered, meeting the dark slit of his visor before ducking your head. “It’s nothing, I-” you sniffed, swallowing the air that was caught in your throat. “I shouldn’t have bothered you.”

“Hey,” he called out, hesitant and a bit unsure. “You okay?” You nodded, closing your eyes in an attempt to clear your vision before opening them a few moments later. The Mandalorian only stared, his helmet tilting with a cock of his head.

“Just nightmares,” you said when he remained quiet. “But they aren’t normally this bad.” The remains of a sob fragmented beneath your ribs, bubbling up in a wet cough that burned your throat. His hands came to rest at your back, flat and steady against your spine until your breathing evened. “I’m sorry,” you repeated after a few minutes.

The Mandalorian let out a quiet noise, gruff and a bit pained-sounding. “It’s okay,” he said, his fingertips pressing softly into your shoulder blades. You could only just hear him through the storm outside. “I get them too.”

You faced the beskar, gaze searching for the eyes you knew were looking at you and finding nothing but darkness. It was enough, though. To know he was looking. “You do?”

“Every night.” A beat passed before you hiccuped again, swiping at your eyes with the back of your hand. “It’s still late,” the Mandalorian whispered, his hands gentle as they reached around your shoulders. You let him pull the covers over you, feeling his words soak into your back. “Let’s just go to bed.”

permanent: @ah-callie @itzagoodthing @spookypym @opheliaelysia @watsonwise @damndamer0n @amarvelousmandalorian @bunnyart-blog @agirllovespasta @pascalispedro @pascalplease @coffeencontemplation @chelsfic @lesqui @javierpenaspinkshirt @symbiont13 @glowingpena @squidlywiddly87 @1zashreena1 @hiscyarika @lostingoogletranslate @keeper0fthestars @bobafvtt @halfwaythereroyal @starwarsiscooliguess @huliabitch

#the mandalorian #the mandalorian x reader #din djarin #din djarin x reader #the mandalorian fanfiction #din djarin fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfiction #sw fanfiction #the mandalorian oneshot #din djarin oneshot

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hongism · 3 years ago

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I’ve finally done it. I started moc and finally caught up and omg what a fucking ride that was. It took me a month to get there but after so many tiring days at work and being pretty no thoughts head empty… i made it. Honestly the start of this year has been pretty shit irl, but moc really has been a shining light for me. Caly bravo for creating a world and story so captivating. I honestly don’t know how you and others do it. Moc really is THAT FIC 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 Literally everything about it has me so hooked. I’m sure others have said it better than me but holy shit its good. Its so good that i’m literally just smacking myself on the head for not reading it sooner! But i’m here now so that’s better than nothing 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️ idk how i avoided all the spoilers since literally everyone and their mother loves this fic and theorizing but woow going in without knowing anything was such a fun experience. I’m definitely gonna have to go through the tags and read everyone’s thoughts now that i’m caught up and can actually understand what everyone’s talking about.

Once again though, bravo to you and your creative mind for make this. Its truly an honor to be able read it and has me excited for what happens next!! I hope you have (or had) a wonderful day and continue living your best life ❤️❤️

also before i forget, i’m really excited for lilacs in our white spring! it sounds super cute 💕💕

oh my goodness T-T thank you so much for reading eee i totally understand i have many many days of head empty no thoughts... but in any case i have seen your reblogs and your tags and such i loved reading through them and seeing your thoughts, i wish i could go through and respond to every little thing but that would be awfully obnoxious kljfglkdf i truly hope that this year can have an upwards trend and get better for you sooner rather than later, and im glad that i could offer some sort of relief through my story, that makes me heart so so full thank you <3

i've said it a lot but truly even if i hear it 100 times, each time someone gives me love and compliments my work, i feel fulfilled as a writer and encouraged to continue as well. im the queen at underestimating the scope of things so i'd be SHOCKED if everyone and their mother knew about moc but seriously HUGE kudos to avoiding spoilers i dont know how some of you manage to do it 😭

thank you again you can't see it but im sitting behind my screen with my hands clasped over my chest and a huge smile on my face bc it means so much to me eeeee 🤧❤️ and thank you for looking forward to lilacs as well, im so excited to bring that idea to life and share it with you guys 🥺💓💞

#mists of celeste

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selfcareparker · 4 years ago

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(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

#lovely anon #<3333333333333 #‚‘it‘s literally longer than your german compound words‘ LMAODKDMSLDKSLKS #ignore the comma at the beginning of the last tag????#aww wait i just read what you said at the end of your tags🥺🥺💘💘💘#love youuuu #ooooof i‘m reading my response and do i not know what a period is? like period as in. full stop.#my sentences are literally paragraphs and i use keyboard smashes to separate sentences from each other like what‘s wrong with me???#or ‚lol‘ snd ‚lmao‘#imma need me to do better (did you listen to heavy is the head as a whole? like the whole album? the song do better is stuck in my head toda #today so)#i‘ll try to write normal length sentenced in the future💀#sentencessss*

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shihozaki · 4 years ago

Note

TW mention of anxiety

hi!! im so excited for your matchup event and i’ve really liked your writing style so far :) if it’s not too much trouble, i’d like to request a haikyuu male matchup please!! my name is joyce, i’m 17, and i use she/her pronouns. (i’ll message you my appearance and stuff :D )

i’m ISTP-T, a slytherin, and leo. my voice is pretty quiet and i’m just a quiet person overall when i’m around new people (social anxiety goes brr). i love baking, making hyper specific spotify playlists, and reading. i don’t really show my emotions well and i have pretty bad RBF so i usually come off as cold even when i dont mean to according to what my closest friends told me. also my self esteem goes from *i am the sexiest mf to walk this earth* to *im an ugly POS and deserve nothing* with no in between

my love language is anything tbh but especially gift giving and physical touch, even though i’m terrified of initiating it bc i didn’t really grow up in an affectionate household and i think i might be touchstarved :/. quality time is also nice since i’m completely down to just sit in comfortable silence with them, spending time together

in an SO, the most important thing is that they need to understand sometimes i just need time to myself. i’m not mad at them at all but i tend to isolate myself whenever my mental health deteriorates and i sometimes go a few days without contacting people simply bc i don’t have the energy to do so. whenever it does deteriorate, it’s usually because i just feel really down out of nowhere and it lasts 12 hours to a week.

i don’t really mesh well with clingy or unloyal people. i feel like i’d be okay if my SO focused on volleyball a lot bc i respect that they need time to work on their own things, so i wouldn’t say i’m necessarily needy in relationships. an ideal first date to me is going to an amusement park. i LIVE for the adrenaline roller coasters give me and i just think everything about it is super fun. plus it minimizes the chance for awkwardness bc there’s so much to do :D (i’m kinda awkward around people i don’t click with so uh yeah)

my favorite relationship dynamic is light hearted bullying. making fun of people and getting made fun of (with love ofc) is definitely a love language, and i’m not taking criticism <3 but i still want to be able to talk to them about serious stuff so knowing that i can wholeheartedly trust them is big for me

my athleticism is close to zero so in the HQ universe i’d probably be a manager. actually, i would give ANYTHING to be able to manage a team in haikyuu so rip 😔🤚

other facts:

i have a huge caffeine addiction bc i’m usually tired/sleep deprived (monster energy, coffee, whatever)

i also just love coffee in general (the aesthetic, the smell, everything is *chefs kiss*)

i’m more of a cat person but i still think dogs are so cool

my relationship w my parents SUCK so bad

i’m 90% book smart (my one flex is being good at math) and 10% street smart/common sense

even though i can bake well, i can’t cook for sh*t unless it’s avocado toast which i can make surprisingly well

i can be eliminated by a single peanut

Big Anxiety bc the only way i could get approval from my parents growing up was straight As and now my biggest fear is being unsuccessful 😎

artists i’m obsessed w right now are cigarettes after sex, chase atlantic, lil peep, the 1975, arctic monkeys, conan gray, and lana del rey

i love wearing my SO’s clothing and all of a sudden, their closet is now ~Our Closet~

thank you so much for doing this, and i look forward to the progress you’ll make in writing and whatever else you choose to set your mind to <3

Hi! Thank you for requesting! I’m also a Slutherin and a Leo, happy to meet you :)

I pair you up with Tooru Oikawa!

- You guys first met when you signed up to be your school’s volleyball team’s manager. Oikawa was immediately intrigued. A girl who doesn’t immediately faint when he waves at them? Wow.

- When he first made you smile, he KNEW he had to ask you out.

- First date at the amusement park, just like you suggested. Oikawa was a bit shocked that you enjoyed rollercoasters but that just made him more interested in you.

- Since he is the captain of his Volleyball team, and quite obsessed with the sport, he is willing to give you lots of time for yourself. He does check on you from time to time though, maybe by texting or giving a call :)

- Never makes you uncomfortable. He knows how you don’t do well in social situations, so he didn’t even tell his volleyball mates that you had started dating (of course they somehow found out later)

- Teases you SO. MUCH. Always makes some type of remark about your height and how much you drink coffee (even though he buys you coffee for Volleyball practice)

- He can always make you smile. He brings out the “Leo” side of you often, and raises your confidence up. In return, you help him with the “book smarts.”

- You guys trust one another and understand each other well. Even if you guys have a “silent date” (where you are reading and he’s watching videos of volleyball matches), you don’t feel any awkwardness.

- He hates it when your self esteem is low. He doesn’t understand how such an amazing girl could feel that way.

- Oikawa’s self esteem is sometimes kind of low too, so whenever you give him a motivational playlist on Spotify, he listens to it on repeat.

- Overall you guys bring out the best out of each other :)))

Scenario: When you guys talk about the future.

“We could get a cat.” You suggested. “A cat?” Oikawa quickly wrote down ‘cat’ on the list named ‘our future’. “We need a name.” You claimed. Oikawa shrugged. “How about… ‘Peanuts’.” “No.” Oikawa laughed. “I think it would be ironic. It’s a cute name too.” You rolled your eyes. “Okay, let’s scratch that then. What about our jobs?” You asked. “Quite obvious. I want to be a professional volleyball player.” Replied Oikawa. He grabbed the pillow from the couch and pretended to set it, acting as if it was a volleyball. “Yeah… I believe you can do it.” You smiled at Oikawa. Oikawa’s eyes met yours. “What about you, Joyce?” He questioned. You stayed silent for a bit. “.. I’m not too sure. I just don’t want to make a mistake and choose the wrong career, you know? I don’t want to fail.” You mumbled. Oikawa slowly moved towards you and pulled you into his arms. You immediately relaxed on him, your heartbeat going slightly bit faster. “You won’t.” Oikawa declared. “I’m sure no matter what you do, you’ll be great. There’s so many things to choose from, Babe. You’re gonna be okay.” You smiled. “Besides,” Oikawa added with a smirk on his face, “You might not need a job if you have me as your husband.”

Song: Campus by Vampire Weekend

I hope you enjoyed it, thank you once again! Constructive criticism is encouraged :) I hope to see you again soon!

#haikyuu matchups #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fanfiction #oikawa x reader #matchup #matchups open #haikyuu!!

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yakocchi · 5 years ago

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The Bewitching Full Moon // Count

smh they’re never gonna release points-based event cards ever again are they guess I gotta make my own 5-min headers

This event is another one of those “His POV” events. I guess the reception on those has been very positive (which, good, bc I like them too) so they’re pushing them out more and more. They’ve also been pushing the envelope on these ooh lala so sexi ma gah stories with these scandalous avatars. yea sexy ok w/e but are they fashionable? idk abt that one chief... and according to the twitter surveys the community has been comparatively lukewarm too. I mean if they’re gonna make event avatars harder to get why are they getting uglier man

also holy crap the resulting doc for this thing got really long i hope tumblr doesn’t destroy me copypasta

edit: here comes me “slept on it” day after edit, fixed formatting issues and grammar errors that stuck out. if it made it even worse imma cry-

Spoilers under the cut! Please credit if you take any of it, thenk u (･ω･*) image-heavy!

Under the full moon, which shimmered with an ominous violet light - a single stagecoach wheeled through the city. (I wonder how many times it has been where I’ve left the manse like this with her.) I sneak a glance to my side, and gaze at Kara’s dress-clad form. (Dress, shoes, gloves, necklace, hair ornaments...) (I give you every single object, article to wear - and with that you are dyed in my color.) (I experienced that joy even before, but...) Now that we have become lovers, that joy is becoming more and more difficult to come by. (Whenever I look at you, there is this emotion - one that is difficult to put into words - that surges within me.) (Frankly, I try my best to simply suppress it.) (...Well, there is particularly something that is too much to entirely subdue.) I recall that sweet sensation of the very moment where I get to strip off the dress I give her– While deep in my thoughts, a smile cracks my features.

count: the joy from dressing her up is becoming rarer me: ? o whys that count: bc the horny supersedes it me: sir

[Kara]: “Count?” (Oops- if she learned of the things like the carnal passions I bear, she would surely grow disillusioned with me.) [Count]: “It’s nothing. You are just so stunning that a smile eased onto my face.” [Kara]: “D-Don’t play around, please…” As if to hide her face, she lightly puts her hands on her cheeks. She takes small breaths, apparently to temper her heart, before looking up again.

[Kara]: “Um… Tonight’s banquet is opening quite late, isn’t it?” The typical banquet opens its curtains at approximately sunset, where the usual routine is to have dinner together before taking pleasure in dancing and chitchat. However, the time now is already past 10. (Will this be your first time going to this type of evening gathering?) [Count]: “There are nobles who grow tired of the same old pattern of the typical party.” [Count]: “So occasionally, evening parties with fascinating themes appear.” [Kara]: “Fascinating themes’?” [Count]: “Costume parties, calling on an acrobat…” [Count]: “Which reminds me of this one gathering where all the lights of the mansion were to be off. It was quite the fascinating party, yes.” [Count]: “Well, now I’m wondering what tonight’s party will be like.” [Kara]: “Hehe, I’m looking forward to it.” (Whenever you so innocently accept the circumstances at hand like this– because it’s you, I get worried. But...)

With a hand I quietly turn her waist towards me, and bring my lips to her ear. [Count]: “I don’t mind if you enjoy yourself, but I would like if you could firmly avoid being careless.” [Count]: “As in these kinds of parties, the dangers lie hidden.” [Kara]: “What do you mean by ‘dangers’…?” She quietly stares at me, visibly failing to catch the meaning behind my words. [Count]: “In a space separated from everyday life, reason easily crumbles away.” [Count]: “And when instinct conquers reason, the floor changes into a hunting ground for love.” I smoothly stroke her back and hug her waist. [Kara]: “Coun-…“ [Count]: “I do not have even the slightest intention to present my adorable lover to such wolves.”

[Count]: “Because you only belong to me, after all.” [Kara]: “—Nn,” I wrap my arm around her body that had slightly jumped, and as if to engrave my touch I press my lips against hers. [Count]: “…So that you will absolutely not separate from me. Understood?” [Kara]: “…Under, stood…” [Count]: “—Good girl.” I narrow my eyes in satisfaction at her answer, and intertwine our hands against my knee.

(Back before we became lovers, I feel that I still had my wits about me.) (So it was quite unexpected of me to become brimming with emotion like this from simply spending time after time together.) (But, tonight… it has become more difficult than usual to tie down…) I shift my gaze to the window, and the moon that floats in the sky above radiates this violet. (—It couldn’t be… Well.)

When we step inside the noble’s mansion, a different world stretched before us. The saloon was colored a brilliant red, and several tables had been arranged in a line where aristocrats entertained themselves with card games and roulette.

[Count]: “So you’re surprised by the casino.” [Kara]: “Wow… I’ve seen Arthur and the others play these sort of games, but this is the first time I’ve ever set foot in a place like this.” [Kara]: “So there can even be things like casinos in the parties of nobles, huh?” [Count]: “In the beginning, gambling was an activity popular within the elite. So it has been as much as a long time for me too.”

“get it cuz im old as fuuuu”

Her eyes swelled of fresh expectations as she looks around the saloon. (We came here to enjoy ourselves, so yes, I would like you to have fun. To be honest, I would rather not teach you how to play the more dubious games, but…) (If it’s just something like cards, there shouldn’t be a problem.) While I survey the surroundings, right in the direction of the bar counter a voice calls out to me.

[Baron]: “Ah, the Count. It has been a while.” [Baroness]: “After this we’re playing a bit of poker, but would you like to join us?” I turn my eyes to see a baron who I was acquainted with and his wife beckoning me over. [Count]: “Kara, would you like to try?” [Kara]: “I only know the very basic rules, but I’ll try.” [Count]: “I’ll teach you, then.”

[Count]: “…And with that, I have shown you more or less the fundamental rules– but is there anything else that you may be confused about?” [Kara]: “I think I’ll be okay from here…!” [Count]: “Then, let’s put it into practice.” [Kara]: “Please go easy on me.” [Baron]: “Well, young miss, when it comes to winning or losing there’s no such thing as leniency.” [Baroness]: “Oh, you! You shouldn’t scare such an adorable little lady like that.” During our pleasant chatter, the cards are dealt before the four of us and we each check our individual hands. (A King, another King, a Three, a Seven, and a Jack… With only these, I can form One Pair with my Kings. A rather mediocre hand.) (Or, I could discard the other three cards and aim for a Three of a Kind?) (Well then. And Kara…?) While maintaining a poker face, I slide a glance and— [Kara]: “…” Within the tension her cheeks were slightly flushed red, and her mouth was shaped into a faint smile. (It appears that good cards have come to her.) (…But I probably should have also taught her the techniques of forming a poker face.) Though subtly smiling bitterly, I pleasantly watched my beloved to whom I shall compete with in her first poker game – She was fixated on the five cards in her hand before suddenly lifting her eyes. The moment our eyes met…—

(Huh…?) Almost in slow motion, my fingers move… [Count]: “—kgh,”

My fingers pick out the two Kings from my hand and throw them into the muck without a moment's hesitation. (Why, am I acting like…) (For a moment, it was almost as if someone had taken over my body—) Akin to a marionette, my actions had disregarded my own will. In my centuries of living, it was the first time I had ever experienced anything like that. (Just what on Earth was…)

[Baroness]: “My, it’s rare for the Count to lose his poker face like that.” [Count]: “Perhaps it’s also all just an act?” [Baron]: “As you’d expect from the Count, you can’t underestimate him.” While playfully exchanging banter, my consciousness was once more preoccupied with some thorough reflection. What rose from my mind was the suspicious moon that had risen in the sky. (—The “purple moon”.) Much like tonight - once every several centuries, there is a night where moon gives off a violet light. (That moonlight sharpens the vampiric senses, and additionally…) (On the night of the shining purple moon, vampires cannot oppose their loved ones.) As for my loved ones, it is undeniably Kara. (In other words, tonight my body is – controlled by Kara.)

If this is the case, then it would explain the cryptic behavior from just a minute ago. (If I cannot go against her wishes…) (Right when I met her eyes, it is highly probable that she had wished to beat me.) I turn over the new cards that were dealt to me in exchange for my discarded ones. (An Eight, and a King.) (If I hadn’t thrown away those Kings, I would have formed a Three of a Kind...)

[Count]: “…It appears I’m out of luck.” I line up my random assortment of cards by suit and place them down on the table. [Baroness]: “Hehe, I have One Pair.” [Baron]: “I also have One Pair.” [Kara]: “I have a Three of a Kind.” She breaks into a cheerful smile and reveals her hand. [Count]: “It seems that Lady Luck is smiling upon you.” [Kara]: “Hehe… it seems like it.” From that carefree smile, a sweet feeling spreads within the depths of my heart. (The real thrill of poker is supposed to be the psychological warfare, but) (When you are so innocently delighted I seem to forget all about that.) (This is not entirely the way I would have wanted it, but I got to see something lovely.)

And so, as the game continued— …In the end, I was unable to outplay her. [Baron]: “It surprised me to see the Count so clumsy at poker.” [Baron]: “Are you up for another round?” [Count]: “Please forgive me, but I cannot afford to display such an unsightly side of myself in front of my beloved anymore.” [Baroness]: “Miss Kara, I had fun with you tonight.” [Kara]: “Me too. Thank you for inviting me to play.” We leave the table, and I call on a waiter dressed in black to halt for me. [Count]: “May I have two glasses of champagne?” Receiving the pair of flutes, I hold out one of them to Kara. [Count]: “For your victory.”

[Count]: “So, for the occasion, shall we have a toast somewhere?” [Kara]: “Yes, of course… Um, where are we going?” [Count]: “How about someplace like the balcony?” [Count]: “With your first poker victory, it is a special night.” [Count]: “I want to have a quiet toast between just the two of us.” [Kara]: “O-Okay…”

Between the two of them, the honey-colored champagne sways in the glasses as if to mark the beginning of a sweet night…

Clinking our glasses, the champagne bubbles rise to the surface. [Count]: “Congratulations. Even to the end, I just couldn’t beat you.”

or rather “Congratulations - For I couldn’t win (over you) even at the end.” but that sounds kind of shady hm

[Kara]: “Thank you, but I definitely just got lucky there.” [Kara]: “I guess there really is such a thing as beginner’s luck, huh.” [Count]: “You say that, but you still seem rather happy about it?” I set my glass down and stroke her grinning cheeks with my fingertips to poke fun at them. [Count]: “Are you really that pleased about besting me?” [Kara]: “This is the first time I’ve ever won against the Count with something, so naturally I’m happy about it…”

lol i know they mean by “winning” in the general sense but i like to think they’ve played several types of games together and he just never lets her win

(You are truly not wearing a poker face of any kind right now.) (Even when you do try to hide it, it’s clearly apparent when you are thinking about something else.) [Count]: “But that’s not all, is it?” (I know that you wanted to beat me because the light of the purple moon had affected my body to do so.) (You so deeply wanted, from the bottom of your heart, to win - so I want to know the real reason behind it.) [Count]: “Come, truthfully confess to me.” [Kara]: “I can’t let anything slip past you, it seems…”

She’s at a bit of a loss for words before slowly looking up at me to possibly gauge my expression. [Kara]: “The truth is… back from when you kissed me in the carriage, I had been thinking about it.” [Count]: “That you wanted to beat me in something?” [Kara]: “Yes. At the time, while I was trying my hardest to calm my heartbeat…” [Kara]: “You, however, maintained your composed, collected face, right?” [Kara]: “That moment today wasn’t the only time it’s been like that; ever since we’ve become lovers, it has happened so many times that it’s impossible to count…” She tightly bites her lip. [Kara]: “I just can’t compete with someone like you.” [Kara]: “But then I thought with something like poker, I could perhaps win with luck on my side.”

[Kara]: “Since I’ve always been the one being toyed with…” [Kara]: “Tonight, I thought… that I wanted to see the Count’s– see Abel’s, restless face…”

At that moment, I realized the consequences I had wrought from my prying – but it was already too late. The instant she shot through me with those eyes blurred with shyness, I could hear the sound of my reason shattering into pieces…

[Count]: “kgh—” (—I cannot fight it.) (Kara, I want to… No, I need – to take you.)

So I changed this entirely bc there’s no English equivalent. The original line can be literally translated as “Kara, I want to take you… no, take you.” What he does is change the pronoun he uses for “you” (kimi → omae) to signal the change in the level of intimacy. With most people (mansion residents, people in general) the Count uses “kimi”. Though with those who know him at a closer level, like Leonardo and Vlad, he uses “omae”. (Mostly) men are only really supposed to use “omae” with people they’re close to or it comes off as rude. This is significant with the Count and MC’s relationship because he begins to refer to her as “omae” when they’re alone together (and thus wants to make a point about how personal it is) once they reciprocate their feelings in Chapter… 24(?). The writers are more than aware of this, because all of the Count’s His POV stories in his route are titled 「君○○」 “kimi ____” but the His POV titles for the Endings use “omae”.

[Kara]: “—gh, Abel…” When I strongly embrace her, from the corner of my eye I catch sight of the moon in its sheen of purple light. Paired with this boiling sensation in my blood, I once again realize the meaning of my existence. [Count]: “…As you desire, I shall become just a man for you.” [Kara]: “A, bel…? —Mn, nn…” I steal her lips, as if to take away all of her warmth. (Just simple touches are not enough.) I draw her head closer and entangle our tongues to steal those lips even deeper. (What’s this - it’s sweet… from the scent, the touch, and the taste…) However, my hunger was not sated even by this kiss. (More - I want to taste you, more…) I pull her waist towards me and capture her tongue that had attempted to escape in a fluster. Dominated by instinct, like a starved beast I devour her lips.

(…Seeking her in this way, in an unknown place where someone could come, what in God’s name is wrong with me?) The remains of my reason murmur from the edge of my mind. But, contrary to those feelings, there was a certain kind of a pleasure intoxicating my heart. (The sense of my reason being thrown aside… is this sweet, hm…?) My fingertips, in their longing for her, slowly ride up the hem of her dress.

sir this is a community balcony i’m gonna need you to take yourself out

[Kara]: “Ngh… A, bel…”

[Count]: “Whether to accept or refuse me, is up to you.”

PREMIUM ENDING

The “purple moon” sharpens the vampire’s senses, and additionally– a vampire’s body that basks in its moonlight shall be dominated by their loved ones. [Kara]: “Since I’m always the only one being toyed with…” [Kara]: “Tonight, I thought… that I wanted to see the Count’s– see Abel’s, restless face…” —A loved one’s wishes, for tonight, can be granted under this moon that emits this mysterious light. My fingertips, in their longing for her, slowly ride up the hem of her dress. [Kara]: “Ngh… A, bel…” [Count]: “Whether to accept or refuse me, is up to you.”

Releasing her lips from our deep kiss, I securely hug her from behind and place her hands against the balcony. [Kara]: “Abel, what are…?” The eyes that look over the shoulder quiver in confusion. (Right now, as instinct overwhelms me... I want to take you.) [Count]: “Show me that disheveled form of yours some more.” A hand glides upwards to approach her chest, and wraps around her breast through the silk of the fabric. [Kara]: “Nnn… Abel,” [Count]: “It’s all right. I shall hide you in a way that no else can see.” [Count]: “Even for myself, I do not intend to show that sweet expression of yours to other men.” [Kara]: “That’s not the…” Her eyes were widened, and moistened with shame. [Count]: “And just who was the one who said that they wanted to see my restless face?” [Kara]: “That’s...” The adorable figure of my beloved, trapped with lowered eyes, also makes a bewitching pleasure sharply simmer within me. (If I happened to look into a mirror right now… Without a doubt, I would see that the face I’m wearing is far from that of a gentleman.) [Count]: “I know that you also want to learn of these indecent pleasures, hm?” [Kara]: “I…—nn,” To cut off her words, I rub the peaks of her breasts against the silk with the pads of my fingers. [Kara]: “ah- Mn…” [Count]: “To the point where I can find that out immediately— harden them for me.” [Count]: “Not wanting to know this pleasure... you don’t seem that way at all, or am I mistaken?” (Because of the purple moon, I cannot go against her wishes tonight.) (If she truly didn’t want this, I wouldn’t be able to even lay a finger on her.) (Since I am able to touch her, this means—)

[Count]: “…You truly, want me to forcibly take you, don’t you?” Burying my face onto her nape I move my fingers to agitate her, her body trembling within me. Desperately biting her lip, she stifles her sweet voice. (Whatever it is that you are thinking, I will quite distinctly know what it is.) (Because the one controlling me, is you yourself…) I rub her with my fingers again, and she twists her back with a shudder. [Kara]: “Hah, ah…” [Count]: “It seems that you are feeling it more than usual.” [Count]: “To seek a thrill like this, what a bad girl you are.”

[Count]: “But, if you don’t keep that voice down, you will be heard, no?” [Kara]: “Ha, ah- But… I can’t… hold o-…” [Count]: “There’s no other choice, then.” The corners of my lips raise into an elegant smile before I lift her chin. [Count]: “I’ll stifle it for you.” [Kara]: “Mn, uhn…” Continuing to lovingly caress her breast in one hand I press my lips to hers, providing even more heat. A voice laced with temptation spills out from her wetted lips. [Kara]: “A…bel… if you do, any more than this, I…” [Count]: “Then if I do any more than this, what will happen?” [Kara]: “Don’t bully me…” Her lovely voice cries out between the light brushes of our lips, and my chest sweetly tightens from the sound. (This appetite will not be satisfied until I make her wholly mine.) [Count]: “Do you take me for a man who only teases and leaves you unfulfilled?”

[Count]: “I shall stain your entire body with pleasure.”

…In a certain room. I slip off my coats, vest, tie, and finally shirt to reveal my bare skin…While I fling them onto the sofa one by one, I lead Kara in the direction of the bed. (The part where I drive her to the corner like this… is exceptional tonight.)

[Kara]: “Ah…” Hitting the edge of the bed, she casts her eyes down as there is nowhere else to go. [Count]: “…Got you.” I capture her beloved body into my arm’s embrace, and slowly push her down onto the bed. [Count]: “In here, you can be as loud as you like.” [Kara]: “But… is it okay to use this room as you please…?” [Count]: “When we arrived tonight we had talked about the themes of evening parties, correct?” I move my hand from stroking her blooming cheeks to press a fingertip against her lips. [Count]: “For those who wish to indulge in something rather risqué for the night, they prepare rooms like this.” [Count]: “So I shall receive this room for use with my humble gratitude.” I unravel the ribbon on the back, and the silk dress almost seemed to glide off her shoulder as it fell down.

(I do like to beautifully dress you up – but stripping you down with my own two hands also sends my heart racing.) [Kara]: “gh…” I seize her hands that were about to cover her chest and pin them to the sheets. [Count]: “Without hiding anything, show yourself to me.” Her exposed skin became shamefully dyed with the hue of roses before my very eyes. This color, teeming with vitality, made my vampiric instincts ache painfully.

[Kara]: “n-no… It’s embarrassing…” [Count]: “Then, if I stop looking… I shall have a taste instead.” I meet her breasts and crawl the tip of my tongue along the peak. [Kara]: “Ah, aah… Abel… Mn,” She pushes against my chest in light resistance. But before long her resistance had ceased, and gradually changed to that of her disheveled sighs and sweet gasps. [Count]: “It seems that you’ve become quite honest with yourself.” [Kara]: “To be loved like this – I have no choice but to be honest, right…?” [Kara]: “As tonight will be the only time I’ll get to know of your ferocious emotions…”

My mind is suddenly drawn to her wording. (Does she know about the purple moon…?) But I cannot imagine that she would know about something like a rare phenomenon that occurs only once every several centuries. I stare at her as if to look into her heart, and our eyes meet.

[Kara]: “More… Please, lose yourself to me, more…” (If she does know about the purple moon, and thus is purposefully provoking me, then…) [Count]: “What a naughty girl. Do you want to ruin my composure that badly?” [Kara]: “Yes…” The Count’s body is completely, sweetly steeped in her words, and as if it were alcohol his reason gradually dissolved. (Right now, even the words that I always shower her with will not come out.) For his heart was dominated only by the instinct of a vampire, and only by the instinct to love her as a man. [Count]: “I want to cast away my morality and reason, and just love you.”

FIN

this guy…………is a lot. i thought maybe everyone would be like this for the event but no, leo only gets weird bc essentially his mc was dumb enough to try to pick up broken shards of glass with her bare hands (im not trying to shame her… but i am) and then it’s not really isaac’s fault when he already has the worst bloodthirst out of all of them so sir step into the paddy wagon, the horni police will question u shortly

anyway tl;dr the sweet ending has the mc reveal to him early that she knew what the purple moon does to vampires in terms of the heightened vampire senses and crud but not the obedience to loved ones so he tells her blah blah romanceu talk but he still wants to bone and so they go home to do it instead.

Make sure to purchase the Epilogue when you have the chance! It’s good stuff ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

So, thanks for reading! (`･ω･´) Sorry if it’s hard to parse through. there’s a reason why editing is a job people get paid for orz

#idk wat the engl tags are idk #like do they call him comte #how french do we get #ikemen vampire #ikevam #comte de saint germain

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