#im so tired from crying
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guess who bought a house AND received lifelong permanency at her job on the same day???
THIS GIRL
#im currently crying while typing this#ive worked for permanency for so long#four years#and six different interviews#finally paid off#and the house???? holy shit#i dont want to move out#but im nearly 26 its time#im going to miss my sister and my dog :(((((((#this has been the most emotional week#im so tired from crying#so many mixed emotions#ultimately im proud of myself#personal
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I've actually exhausted myself from getting upset about this news
I promise to help keep this fandom alive in any way I can
I will keep making my silly little text posts
I will keep liking and reblogging everyone's posts about the show
I will keep reading all of the fanfiction you wonderful writers create
I will keep gazing at all of the beautiful art you amazing artists make
I will not let d*sney ruin this for me, or anyone else for that matter, despite what they've done
Thank you for coming to my TedTalk
#im so tired from crying#all because of a show#this sounds so pathetic but idk how im gonna be able to function tomorrow#i love all of my fellow questies#thank you all for your contributions to the fandom#you all are the bloodstream of the fandom#willow 2022#willow#willow disney+#tanthamore
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i listen to fog lake too much
#falls through the ceiling with a mighty crash hello#it's been what...8 months?#I was too busy w uni and being mentally ill#thank u everyone so much for the tags on all prev posts.. i re-read them oaccasionally 💗#they make me v happy thank u for giving me a moment of ur time#that means so much#anyway! vashwood!!#i hate them so much#i want to eat them#i want to ugly cry#i want an ideal world where they could've had something for a little bit#im eating drywall and pacing around the room in a cold sweat#so trimax-atypical overt intimacy it is#more coming...in maybe another year#It's a big project!#to me. yeah#my dream is to be put in a terrarium for a while#if only u knew how many wips I have w vashwood..#maybe i'll get tired and pile them into one post all unfinished and no less ok for it yk#whatever u r doing doesn't need to be perfect to make someone happy#didn't u experience a positive little zap from my imperfect colored doodle rn?#what a speedrun of a drawing that was#(<spent 10h on it. that's the minimum for anything ever)#hope today is treating you well! so long stranger!#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trimax#trigun#tzarrz
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i reread this scene and i could just. picture it. so vividly.
#homestuck#hom3stuck#home2t4ck#homestuck 2#homestuck beyond canon#hsbc#hs^2#hs2#candy timeline#home24uck#dirk strider#jake english#brain ghost dirk#bgd#dirkjake#admin draws#fanart#mountain of tags oooooffff#mmm nothing like coming back to an update and getting ur heart juiced like an overripe orange for a 2nd time#2nd jake crying post has hit the world trade center#im sooo soso tired today but i want to draw fluff. so thats next on the agenda#ajyeays i hate them t felt like getting puched in the dick again#i love this update. i dont think ill ever really move on from it. no matter what comes next ill always kinda be here.#also this ended up at first accidental but remained A Choice to leave dirk. largely featureless compared to jake#he is just an afterimage after all. the loose outlines that contain the memory of your friend#who you now have to realize. has long passed. hes not by your side#hes buried in a graveyard that you have not visited since he became its resident#he should go sometime. process it properly. id draw it but i dont think i have the chops or patience.#but its a thought.#I FORGOT TO UPDATE THE NEWER PICTURREEJFKGJDFGMGH
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can't trust the words behind the fangs 🐍🎭 a doodle with my take on his mask :3c
#sampo koski#sampo#honkai star rail#hsr fanart#hsr#hsr sampo#eats him like a starved man#the snake fangs and the poison drips ugh pls i love idsgjfdhkjdg#its unfinished in so many places but idc anymore TAKE HE#WOE SAMPO UPON YE IM TIRED#he's probably going to have like a full face mask but the half mask is nice#like u can still see his mouth but you cant trust what he says#and then his eyes are covered in that forever laugh giggle eye expression#the poison drips and gems from his fangs and tears#laughing? crying? who knows!#im kissing and punching him violently#schedules this at 2am eodfhkjdhjdhgkfh
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#mine#aftg#kevin day#andrew minyard#cc#andrew hated it when drunk kevin got like this#screaming crying throwing things panicking. thats the kevin he can handle#but quiet drunk kevin.#the one that stares reverently up at him when he slots his hand against the back of kev's neck#the one that looks at him like a saviour#like he hung the moon and the stars all for kevin#the one that calls him things like 'talented' and 'amazing'#the one that clings to him like a lifeline#thats the drunk kevin andrew couldnt stand#not because he hated him for it#far from it#but because andrew was only a man#his self control could only take him so far when all he wanted to do#was hold kevins face and press their foreheads together and tell him how stupid he was#to share the same air as the drunken prodigy sitting in front of him#leaning close and breathing each other in.#to trace the contours of kevins pretty crying face with more than just his gaze#anyways ANYWAYS sorry if its ooc im tired and wanted kandrew#kandreil is my bread and butter my pride and joy i love it in every form. but.#something about kandrew.#something something projecting#something something saviour complex#dont look at me
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btw talking about character reactions to bkg dying (i wrote the deku post several hours ago but shh) Aizawa :
The absolute disbelief on his face. And then the widening eyes. Horikoshi really had fun with that close up like my mans was really like nuh uh you are not ignoring Aizawa. The eyebrows? The wrinkles? The absolute panic and despair in this man's eyes? When he sees his student (one of the most promising and one of the best and one of the most reckless) dead on the floor?
And then the anger? The handhold, the grip on that other student that very much should not be here, that should be safe and not in the middle of a warzone with him, the panic and the sweat and the clenched jaw? I'm still and forever going insane
#something to be said of monoma and manual too#monoma who's angry and crying (not just because of Manual's quirk anymore; there's tears dripping down his cheeks)#Monoma who fucking hates Bakugou's guts but who knows he doesn't deserve to die and who knows that means very concretely that /he/ could di#that they could /all/ die#but he still helps because only him can help and he has to help because he's a hero and he can't just back down now#(something something about the burden of a very useful quirk that can't be absent from fights going from Aizawa to Monoma)#and Manual who looks so tired and stressed out and who's glancing at Monoma like. Fuck. he's a kid. he's a kid. he's a kid#cries shakes#the monoma aizawa manual trio in this part of the war is like. im dying#anyways#mha#bnha#aizawa shouta#bakugou katsuki#mha spoilers#bnha spoilers#sorry for the heavy mha posting everyone the hyperfixation is hyperfixating#mad mha ramblings//
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BRUTUS pt.1!!
THIS IS A SONGFIC RAHHH
summary: uhoh yu jie go a lil’ cray-cray 🤪🤪🤪 lil peice of lore drop!!
ive been watching him for my entire life
“Oh what’s that!“ my younger brother squeals digging through my cupboard filled with stories.
I try to supress a grimace, as he rips out pages hazardly. I want to shout, to scream. But I know I’ll be punished.
i hate the air he breathes, his foolish decrees
He grins up at me light shining in his eyes. Oh how desperately I wish to put it out.
his words so contrived
“When I’m older I wanna be just like you Yu Jie!“ He says splattered in colorful paint, while Father ruffles his hair and whistles. and i hate the way the townspeople gather outside “Wow! This is a work of art!“ My mother gasps as she holds out my brothers newest work of trash. A bunch of scribbles is what it truly was.
they hang on every breath, cling to his chest “Yu Jie! How dare you make fun of your brother!“ My mother cries, I clench my fists as I look down at the ground. “Answer me!“ She raises her hand quickly, and I flinch. My first mistake. She narrows her eyes down at me before pinching my arm, “Listen here young lady, we do not disrespect our male relatives“ Tears streak my cheak as I try not to cry from her grip. She pinches tighter. “Do. I. Make. Myself. Clear.“ “...Yes Mother.“ home to his heart full of pride
“Awwwww... ʰᵃ́ᵒʸᵘ̀ this is a beautiful poem!“ Mother gushed over him while Father smoked a pipe and coughed all the smoke over the kitchen table.
’Why do I never get proper recognition? Just why?’
the oracle told him to beware the ides
He looks down clearly sad, I don’t care but Mother and Father would get on my case for not asking why.
“What’s wrong?“ I nudge him slightly wth my foot not wanting to get closer
“N-nothing...“
I narrow my eyes, he was always bad at hiding secrets.
and id be lying if i said i wasnt wishing
He giggles holding up a red toy, red.
Red was all I could see.
for untimely death or demise
“What do you mean Scarlett??“ I glare down at the girl trying so hard not to cry, creasing the newspaper almost causing rips in the paper.
Idiot. You can’t rely on anyone ever since the princess came to power...
“I- Well I just-“ She babbles on, I grimace and snatch it away from her and open it up.
He was on the front page.
I was not.
or am i wishing i could be like you
He grabs me by my ponytails and throws me in the cellar.
His beady eyes watching me.
Forever judging.
He wouldn’t do this to him.
Of course not! He’s the golden child after all...
that the people would see me too as a poet
’She ruffles my hair and looks down at me, the light shining in her eyes.’
’Oh how I ˡᵒᵛᵉᵈ my mother...’
’And oh how she ˡᵒᵛᵉᵈ me...’
and not just the muse
I woke up. Bedroom was as small and dusty as usual.
I should get a maid, but Mother only says ’dignified’ children get servants.
Then why does he have one?
Tagging!!
@babyghoul138 @cheerleaderman @twtysevapr @jewelulu
@beneathsakurashade @bunniehunn @the-rini-rush
@theolivetree123 @teighveepao @skrimpyskimpy @skibidibabygirl
@cloudiepuffs @kuragebride @4necdote @blood-red-bumblebee
@quartztwst @anonymousplant @gl00myb3arz
@imafrealinrainbow478484 @justyoureverydaytwstsimp
@angelwishezz @lavanda-fanstamal @amai-sakura-chan
@lpendergast @verysadsnail @ghostiidasponk @oya-oya-okay
@shinysparklesapphires @lilpainter123 @h0neybane
@buttholesparkles @day-dr3aming @mhedusard @tsubomisno1fan
@teighveepao @jadenui @rainesol
PLS LEMME KNOW IF U DONT WANNA BE TAGGED OR DO :33
#yu jie#’my name is brutus and my name means heavy’ 🗣🗣🗣#twst yuu#is it obvious yu jie is from the victorian era/an actually disney inspired world while all my other yuus are NAWT#anyway yu jie has a SUCH a sense of self-loathing she’s beating leona#bro i started writing this in october...#bad writing#hans christen anderson#hans christian andersen#uhm does she harbor some kind of unchecked misogyny that comes from her family???#yes#RAHH I LOVE THIS SONG#twisted wonderland#twst#angst#(...kindaaa)#i think#bro i hate writing#its so fun but i think im about to cry#/nsrs btw#oh yu jie my little fucked up daughter...#part one bcs i was too tired to write the whole thing#srry broskis 😞😞😢😢😢#and uhm yu jie comes from a classist family#so she kind of sucks#writing#oc writing
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I can't believe I have to say this. I really can't believe I have to fucking say this.
If you're editing screenshots of Viktor to give him a smaller nose, straighten his teeth, reshape his cheeks, and remove his facial lines. Leave. Just. Leave. Begone.
#i live in a constant and unending hell#yall loooove slavic accents but when it comes with a strong nose and asymetrical facial features you start crying 🤡🤡🤡#you are SERIOUSLY. going to edit pictures of a disabled character. So he fits more into your filtered idea of beauty standards ????????????#im so tired im literally so tired#i have never been more dissapointed in Tumblr#id expect this from elsewhere but here ?????#you do NOT actually like Viktor if you think he would look better with different “”“better”“”“ facial features. fuck you.#going insane#arcane#viktor arcane
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he bought him a phone. you guys i've got to get normal about them
#HE DIDNT EVEN KNOW HOW TO ANSWER HIS BOYFRIENDS CALL IM CRYING#JOSH WASNT EVEN IN THE EPISODE AND YET I COULD HEAR HIM VERY CLEARLY#I LOVE THEM SO FUCKING BAD OH GOD#PLESSE DONT TAKE THEM AWAY FROM ME NETWORK TV GODS#josh nichols#oliver wolf#oliver wolf you freak i love you#wolfnichols#them!#brilliant minds#so i watched the episode at 3 am and then i went to bed and the things is that i that and another thing i can't they#i love them#also what the hell is going on with van and ericka#she's not as invested as him it is hurting me.#but also does he have a son or was that a lie and u missed the context#i was very tired#dilf van real!
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You know what. Who wants a damn ramble.
These two pieces of media are very unrelated but I promise they make me feel similar things in opposite ways
Maybe bc i watched both in the same week but anyway
I've seen both Mufasa 2024 and HB several times having their writing and plots compared to "fanfiction" and obviously it's an insult and people never go any deeper than that but I'm tired of accepting that fanfic-y plots aren't hella cool sometimes and that it's all the same bc it's really not and also man it's really not that deep in the end oh my God
Bc you know what. We write/read fanfiction bc we want silly guilty pleasures that we rarely see in "professional" writing and we want to see those cool tropes happening. But then when those tropes do happen people complain that it isn't professional enough??? So what the fuck do you want then
Like Loona having a demon feral wolf form is PEAK deviantart 2012 furry fanfic headcannon but also. That's so fucking cool man. I love her. People ask oh why does she have a demon form but man why should she NOT. Yeah you'd see it in fanfics but isnt that bc we want it. It's in character and in universe and it's cool and I love it bc it's so random but it doesn't destroy the universe and it's COOL it really doesn't go deeper than that man
Meanwhile Mufasa writing is fanfic-y in the way that it has a lot of tropes that you see in TLK fanfiction (white lions, made up lion biology, etc) but it's also BAD bc it's sooo badly connected and the pacing is terrible but also they don't even DO anything cool with it. It doesn't do anything new or exciting with the wacky ideas they decide to use. It doesn't do anything cool with white lions. It doesn't do anything cool with Mufasa being adopted. All comes and goes and leaves no impact.
It'd be the same if they'd randomly introduced Loona's wolf form while she was on the phone or smth. Literally nobody would find that cool the way we are now bc it's hella cool THE WAY they did it
Like fanfics can be bad or good and that's fine bc the only reason they exist is to be self-serving and I give them all the right to be as dumb and as badly written as they deserve and for some people it's just stress relief and some people are literally 11yos having fun. Do whatever you want
But when you have some kind of production then yeah, we expect some level of quality. I just don't think that being "fanfiction level / fanfic-y" is inherently bad you know. It's about how you use it
Both Loona being a feral demon and the whole Mufasa movie have a lot of fanfic tropes but one of them used it in cool ways and the other used it in dumb ways but the tropes themselves aren't the problem you know
I just don't think that fanfic tropes are inherently bad and I'm tired of acting as if they are. Fuck I love THE LION GUARD over Mufasa because The lion guard actually does cool stuff with whatever they did and embraced it being as insane as it is while Mufasa just threw random stuff and didn't do anything with the tropes they used. I would be SO INTO Mufasa having white lions and ghosts and magic and fights and lion monarchies if they bothered to do anything cool with it.
I don't know man. It's not that deep. Sometimes stuff can be silly but also cool. Media can be silly and fanfic-y as long as they write it in a cool way. Which Helluva Boss did and Mufasa didn't and that's the point
Have a great night
#12 yo me is crying bc i so wanted an expanded TLK universe but this is just not it man#it's just bad. like it's a bad movie. it's bad writing#helluva boss is at least cool. its silly and its fun. thats it#mufasa is dumb#not the character#the movie#mufasa 2024#ofc you can think helluva boss is badly written or bad and thats also fine!!#im just tired of saying X is bad bc it feels like fanfiction as if some fanfiction tropes and ideas arent hella cool???#obviously its different from professional writing and im not saying theyre the same but i feek like theres a point im making here#but if it sounds like i wrote this on withdrawl is because i did#helluva boss#furry#fursona#loona#feral#i have so many insane tlk headcanons and fanfics in my head idt the tropes are the problem just pls do smth cool with it#rant#fanfiction#i guess#disney hire me for the next tlk remake#let me show you my Prince of the egypt-esque background for taka and mufasa
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well, this all looks rather familiar...
#the llama or alpaca gem literally looks like one of the gems from the ice king crown#though thats interesting because I thought the ice elemental guy got it from a lava monster#also the wizard looking guys on the part about the magic beans remind me of those things shown in the cosmic imagination explained vids#those ones by paxw on youtube & other creators#im getting a bit tired pardon me if I miss on names & things im still reeling from the 7-8 episode experience; thank you to the AT crew#the next slide looks a LOT like the land of Ooo though I can't pinpoint where; im already terrible with irl geography#this man has been fixated on cursed objects since like day 1 lmao#doomed by the narrative fr#petrigrof got me crying though im ngl#im gonna miss my partner a lot when I go to finland :((( It might be a few years before I can see them in person again because travel#is very expensive 😭 thats probably partially why this hit so hard for me; I'm gonna miss our dates & adventures#mine#op#adventure time spoilers#adventure time fionna and cake#adventure time#fionna and cake#simon petrikov
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SAMS VIDOE GOT REMOVED IM DEVASTATED I MISS MY HUSBAND
HOLY SHITT WAIT WHAT
#IM CRYING YOUTUBE IS SUCH A BITCH#THIS IS TEAA#WAIT DID IT GET REMOVED FROM PATREON TOO#Erik is gonna be so tired when he wakes up and sees it gone😭😭😭#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redactedverse#redacted sam
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they came :3
#outer wilds#riebeck#riebeck plushie#AAAA#they're so huggable...sitting hugging them while im writing this#money well spent i think im always insane about this game#i love outer wilds so much you don't even know (my irl friends are tired of me talking about it atp)#so round and soft....#gabbro and feldspar may be my fav travelers but riebeck holds a special place in my heart because they're from brittle hollow and that's#a very nostalgic planet for me because that's the one i was obsessed with when i first played!! 2019 was 5 years ago oh my god#my fav planet rn? ermmm used to be giants deep but honestly ember twin. ash twin makes me want to cry though#outer wilds spoilers#potentially?#oh well#midstuff
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questioning sexuality is so exhausting
#(edit: sorry for the rant in the tags and i just. i want someone to talk to me)#i keep on doing it for no apparent reason#someone was talking about lust yesterday and i realised today that.#even tho id thought i don't experience it. i possibly do. but exclusively towards women.#i hate it here!#for a multitude of reasons i will never have a relationship with a woman but! i may be incapable of having a relationship with a man!#at some point in the last few months i have abruptly pivoted from definitely wanting marriage and kids to being ambivalent on marriage#and not wanting kids. that's such an outlier in my life that it might just be a mental health thing tho idk#but at the same time i. want to be loved.#i don't know what i want anymore and im tired of questioning myself#i definitely overthink it but idk how to stop it#and i hate hate hate how the moral obsessions have bee lately#this isn't entirely related but it kind of is#like Am i a terrible morally bankrupt person for having certain thoughts or is it just religious ocd go brrrr?? am i overthinking it?#i don't know. i don't know!#for a while labelling myself as arospec ace kinda calmed that down but. i don't know#i do't want to be attracted to women. i don't want to have to look away so often. i don't want any of that.#but i don't know how to stop it.#i don't even know if i'm attracted to men at all.#this is a cry for help and encouragement and prayers no matter what your views on these matters are#queer stuff tag#i nearly fessed up to my friend yesterday about same sex attraction and i might've except that it would have probably outed me as#the person who anonymously sent in a question several months ago about the side b movement to a church thing#ive only told one person at church about any of that sort of stuff and it was very vaguely worded#also see: this friend is the mother of the boy i?? i don't even know how i feel about him#i increasingly think it wasn't romantic at all. but i don't know#i would love any encouragement you got. anything at all.#i don't know how much this stuff is affected by the fact that i consider myself unloveable and think it highly unlikely any boy will ever#care for me#now im rambling. sorry
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sorry my post is just to complain but guys i literally hate adobe after effects. i can not explain to you the mental torture and how LOW it has brought my mental health because I *need* to use it for my post production class because it's "industry standard". ADOBE After Effects has made me write off the entire film and video production industry as a turn off and I never want to do it ever again.
The amount of times this has crashed on me where I lost everything? 5+ hours of work? 8+ hours of work? It's my fault for not saving sometimes but I also have auto-save on. it didn't save anything so im just left with nothing.
You want a trip to burn out town really quick? Use adobe after effects in an academic setting where you have no choice but to use this program.
I have never in my life TOUCHED a program SO TERRIBLE that it made me never want to do anything about that form of art/media EVER AGAIN
#I'm ALSO going in and out of the hospital these past few weeks so im just bawling and crying and crying over losing this project just now#because it was due 3 days ago#and i cant finish it becvause i loste verything#im sorry to everyone reading this i just feel like an insane person#like if i tried to explain this to someone theyd just tell me to stop crying and to get over it#anyway cannot recommend adobe after effects any fucking less#never join advertising/film industry i guess?#im so miserable right now. AE is a constant crasher#i also got a new computer with 18RAM instead of 8RAM and it still did this#does anyone understand why i cant stop talking about this#it makes no logical sense that our industry relies on adobe THIS fucking much that a program that is KNOWN to crash often#is an industry standard i hate it here#its been 3 months of this#im in so much fucking physical pain thats why im going to the hospital and then i come home to this constantly#guys im so tired i hate Adobe with a passion i hate it so much#mod stuff#from kris p#may delete later but i have bad memory so ill forget and just never do that#when i say its fun im lying to you for masking/show. im lying
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