#im so sorry river song

[icarusredwings]

The Library. Pt 1.

The TARDIS disobeys her owner... again. Shocker. This time, though.. she takes him and Donna somewhere they REALLY don't want to be. Dinner can wait. There's someone here that needs him more.

A 14/River (RetiredSong) fic following my Retired Time Lords series. Oh and Donnas forced to be here too..

Standing at the front entrance, the doctor felt his hearts shaking in his chest, pounding so hard that it felt as if they were beating against his ribcage. Everything within him was telling him to run away. To go home. Run. For gods sake run. But he couldn't. His knees were too much like jello. All he could do was stare, frozen in place as multiple people walked around them, heading to read whatever book they could imagine.

Swallowing, he looked at the floor, eyes searching the tile for any sign or clues that might jump out of him. Turning his head, he saw that they each only had one individual shadow, licking his lips as he glanced up at Donna, who was crossing her arms (like always).

"Wot?"

"You're counting.."

"How do you know?"

"Well it's either that or you're intrested in the new shoes I got."

Donna's doctor snorted, shaking his head. He's been caught.

"They're nice. I'll give you that.."

"So-"

"Ssoo..... what?"

"This is the library."

He nodded, putting his hands in his pockets as he rocked on his heels like a child about to admit something to their parents and was extremly nervous about it. "Yu-puh."

"Like.. The Library"

"Uh-huh..."

"....Riv-"

"Nmhm..Don't."

"Okay.... Doctor?"

"Yeah?" Having not paying attention, it was like his attention snapped back to reality, thinking far too hard about something else.

"Why did the TARDIS bring us here?"

"I don't know.. shes funny like that I guess.."

Donna scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Funny??"

"Ereuugh. Yeh..." He shrugs, his voice becoming higher and softer in the end.

"... did you get a note on your paper?"

"No.. not this time. I just... I think she.."

Despite the lack of words, the way his wide eyes stared at the entrance, longing, waiting for someone to come through those doors that he knew oh so well..? Donna knew why they were here.

"Are you... okay?"

"Me? Oh yeah- Im okay. Thats me. Always okay."

"Time lord okay or human okay?"

"Mmmh.... the first one."

"....right. Sooo you're panicking."

"Yea..."

"Well... Brianna did say that you should face your fears more often and stop running from them...? Maybe the TARDIS is helping you."

The look that Donna received could kill a man on sight. Luckily, she wasn't a man. She only raised a brow at him, and instantly, his attitude changed, shaking his head and sighing. Putting his hands up, he turned around, trying to push the TARDIS doors open, but they were locked.

"Hey! Excuse me. I kinda live here."

"Not anymore." Donna muttered.

"Well, I have the keys still, so that means Im still allowed in. Hello??" By now, he became almost desperate, beginning to rub the side of the big blue box, whispering. "Ooh, come on old girl, you used to be such a sweet thing... don't do this to me.. please... Are you cross with me?"

Honestly, she should be used to this by now, but the redhead coughed a bit. "Should I leave you two alone?"

"Don't litsen to her. She's a mad woman. What if I leave her here hm? Would you like that?" He asked the box, patting it with a smirk.

Earning himself a slap in the arm, he was quick to flinch and chuckle as he rubbed the spot, pouting. "Ooww!"

"Oh shut it! Now you figure out why we're here! And quick! This place gives me the heebie jeebies.." she mumbled, hugging herself tight. She still had nightmares of this place. Of the children she lost but never actually had... quick milisecind thoughts of Lee. A man who wasn't even real. (As far as she knew)

"Hey, I don't know what her deal is either! You saw me tell her to go to Waksacarnus and she brought us here!"

"Oh great. Yeah, the time machine took us to the most terrifying library in the universe instead of the intersteller grocery store... how ironic.. Were you thinking of this place?"

Just then, The Doctor went silent, looking at her with eyes as if she had figured it out before him and now he was a wee jealous and embarrassed. "Nope! Not at all, definitely not!"

"What were you thinking about then!?"

"Blood beets!"

"You were thinking about blood beets? And magically YOUR telepathic ship brought us to the death library?"

"Well it's not anymore..." He looked around as if to be sure, seeing people smiling and carrying books to read. "Just seems like a normal library now..."

"Except this library has something no other library has..."

Cocking a fluffy brow he glanced at her, putting his arms up. "Well, no, duh, this is THE library! It has every copy of every book ever written!"

She gave him another look. Silent and staring with a glint of pitty in her eyes, pursing her lips and let her arms fall to her sides.

"... oh... Donna i-.. It's been so long I don't- w-What would I even say?"

"Everything."

"I.. i-cant I..." he looked at his hand, swallowing. "Donna I'm.."

He was married now. Well- he was always married. But he REmarried. He had left her here all alone and went off to be REmarried. His chest hurt just thinking about is actions, regretting them horribly, but the idea of stepping into this library? That was a worse feeling. One that made him want to call his other self to come pick him up and scold his own TARDIS for disobeying him for the millionth time. If he couldn't even trust his own TARDIS... who could he trust? And she knew. OH she knew how deeply this hurt him. The thought alone of his beloved box betraying him made him want to have a nervous break down right here, right now, infront of everyone.

"Yeah. To her. And about 7 others. So get along. You'd probably marry that thing too if you could."

"Huh?" He asked, still staring at the ground when asked, now looking up to her, baffled.

It was now Donna realized just how much this was fucking with him. Note to self. At the Library? Phycologically? The Doctor was screwed. He would have picked up on this tease any other day, and yet? Not a word. Just those eyes that said, "Im terrified because I can't save us." The eyes that she knew all too well. The eyes that he's also given her so many times before. And yet? Every time he succeeded in saving them. (More or less)

She decided it was time for plan B. This always worked on his younger self, maybe it still would.

"Alright. Guess you're just a featherless chicken then." She muttered, making an effort to check her nails and not look at those puppy eyes or else her persona would break.

"Wot? Feather.. less?" He made a whining noise as he suddenly realized that once again, without his fancy toys, he was useless. "Ooh... This is just like that maze all over again!"

"Which one?"

"Donna!!"

"Right. Sorry... erm...." Okay, that backfired.

"Should I call er... the other you?"

For a split second, he was about to say yes, before realizing that meant he would probably want to see River too and knowing him and her, they'd hit it off a little too well. He grunted, pouting almost, coming to the realization that he had to go see her. It's all he wanted right now.

"No."

But it felt so... wrong? Going to the love of your (multiple) lives and reconnecting with them after you told your husband just 10 minutes ago that you'd be back in time to watch The Great British Bake Off with him when you were supposed to be infact going to the store just to pick up some stuff for dinner felt so wrong.

"Yes??"

And yet.. his eyes kept shifting to the entrance, the bones in his body wanting to rush down to the basement and see if there was any smidge chance that he could at least talk to her.

"Ugh! I don't know!? What do I do?! Donna!" He whined again, his hands going to his hair and then rubbing his face, beginning to pace the way he usually did before having an inconvenient criss.

"You got yourself into this mess." She giggled. "Stop being such a 'pretty boy' and you wouldn't have to worry about everyone wanting to marry you."

"You think im pretty?" He pulled his hands away from his face, looking at her with excitment. He liked compliments. They fed his ego.

"Far from it, mate."

"Ooh!" He grunted again, grumbling some things."

"Come on, it's not that big of a deal. She's just a computer. I doubt he'll get mad about that."

This, for some reason, upset him greatly. She wasn't JUST a computer. She was IN a computer. There's a difference.

"Tch. Like you're one to talk. What's shaun going to think when you tell him you've visited the same place you met Lee, Hm? I doubt he'll get mad about that." This ending tone was mocking.

"Oi!! Just because your marriage is rocky doesn't mean that mine is!"

"So you're going to tell him?"

Her eyes softened as she thought of how she'd even begin to explain it. So many adventures with the Doctor where 'you had to be there to understand' moments and reciting them to others felt like a fairy tale..

"I... Yes! I-i am! And for your information, YOUR TARDIS brought us here to see YOUR wife. I had nothing to do with this! Besides!...He wasn't even in the system.. remember? Just a guy that I.. i dont know.. dreamed up?"

The tension between them was slit, cut, and a chunk removed. His head lowered, his eyes softened, and his brows looked the way a child might if admitting a mistake to a parent.

"Im sorry.."

"Yeah yeah.." She waved it off, taking a breath.

"No.. Donna." He takes her hand, pulling her close as he kisses it. His signature 'i really fucked up' apology. "I really am sorry... I just.."

"I know.."

"You don't. You really.. really don't. I promise that you don't." He mumbled. "I dont think there's anything in the universe I could do to make up for how much I've hurt you. I made a promise to make up for it.. and here I am. Doing it again. For what?"

She shook her head, putting it on his shoulder, resting into the hug. "..you're hurt too."

Pulling her away, he held her face and looked her in the eyes. "That doesn't give me an excuse to hurt you back. Never. I promised Shaun I'd look after you. I told him im the one that needs looking after, and he said I know. We have to look after each other, alright? So don't let me do that. That's... That's not who I am anymore. That's not who I want to be." He whispered to her as she nodded.

"Excuse me?"

The two jumped, separating and became defensive only to realize it was just a worker. At least thats what you could assume by the girls big glasses and the fact that it said "Librarian" on her shirt.

"Sir, you and your wife have to move that.. what is that?"

"Oh were not-"

"Pfft! Not a million years!"

"Yeh.. what she said. Anywho. That's a Police box. Otherwise known as my TARDIS. And unfortunately I can't move her. She's being stubborn!" He said this part extra loud, turning to glare at the box who did absolutely nothing.

"Sir, its blocking traffic and by Library saftey policy no large objects are allowed to block the path."

"Right... well.. as I just said, I can't. It's not like I want to be here in the first place.."

"Say doc... do you still have HADS on?"

His eyes brightened as he looked to the redhead with borderline mania. "Oh!! Yes! Donna you're a genuis!"

"Damn right.... wait.. why?"

Again, she spoke up. "Sir, this is your final warning. Please move your vehicle from out of the walkway. It's a safety hazard!"

"Oh wait- If HADS is on.. and shes not leaving.. that means she doesn't sense any threats. Still though you'd think from the last time she wouldn't want to come back.."

"But you had the HADS off back then."

The shorter Liberian blinked, cupping her hands together as she litsened, kind of annoyed that they were ignoring her. Bringing out a digital pad, she clicked a few buttons, and suddenly, with a bright light, some clicky sounds, and a WOOSH, the TARDIS was sent up to the moon, saved into the Libraries file.

"OI!! You can't just take that!! She's sensitive!"

"Bring her back right now! You dont want to upset him, I promise you that, let alone me!"

"Until you can move your vehicle, it's been safely removed and downloaded to the library. See the front desk to retrieve it. Have a good visit!" Handing him a ticket, she walked away.

"Oh I outta!-" The Doctor grabbed her shoulder.

"Donna.."

"That miffy little elf thing has it coming!"

"Donna...."

"Wha-" Turning, her jaw dropped just as his, staring at the beautiful white goddess infront of them.

"Is that-!?"

"River.."

[happistar]

Day 6: Two River squip

So Normal about this guy. the 'uip <3

[hecksupremechips]

Come back home when you have some sense

You can throw your life away just not at my expense

You’re not the son I raised

[pastelshroomsbasement]

"when you go, and would you even turn to say"

"I dont love you, like I loved you yesterday"

MY YOUTUBE APOLOGY:

[orions-beltloops]

apparently I’m the most incorrect doctor who fan of all time bc I just watched silence in the library and forest of the dead and I fucking hated it. actually the first ep was mostly fine but the second one I didn’t care for. River Song fills me with fucking rage god I genuinely can’t stand her character. she was so annoying. and the fact that she’s probably gonna come back??? I wanna scream. but I looked up the eps to see if other people liked them and apparently they’re like beloved episodes. yikes for me. also ig this was like moffat introing what his writing for doctor who was gonna be like so I’m not looking forward to it now I’m kinda afraid I’m not gonna enjoy his style. and I loved a lot of things within the episodes and I agree with a lot of the points people praised, but I left the episode really unhappy. I think I just really like what the first few seasons have been and the stuff next just might not be my vibe which is disappointing bc I’ve really really loved finally watching Doctor who. I think it’s so funny to post my takes on this shit like fifteen years too late lmao. anyway I’m probably gonna get unfollowed by fellow doctor who fans for this sorry guys. but also if you disliked these episodes hit me up so I feel validated you’re correct and I love you.

[joelletwo]

[getting so unbelievably stressed abt the last like hundred-fifty pages of book four] had to get up and take a BREAK

[quietwingsinthesky]

i can turn anyone into lesbians. just watch me.

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

i have this silly little undeveloped au in my brain that's just like. tedependent but it's the sarah jane adventures. sort of. not literally in the doctor who universe necessarily but like. local intrepid reporter trent crimm investigating weird shit except the local neighborhood kids will not leave him alone.

i have so many thoughts about this but none of them are coherent enough for a proper fic i think:

i just think trent being good with kids, generally. go mentor figure trent! (what this has nothing to do with my thesis what do you mean)

trent, like sarah jane pre-series, having a sort of reputation in the neighborhood (or in general, since i'm also incorporating his actual canon vibes/story) as to being standoffish, aloof, cold, etc., and generally anti-social, keeping to himself. and as the kids keep dragging him into things kicking and screaming he might also be dragged kicking and screaming into a community <3

if his daughter is essentially luke does that mean he adopted her under Strange Alien-Related Circumstances? absolutely it does, yes.

see i've got two great ideas for ted/tedependent. on one hand, although in the context of SJA/nuwho i'm not so much one for sarah jane and the doctor as a Thing, ted playing the role of like. someone from trent's Mysterious Past who he won't talk about who set him on this path? someone who was kind and wonderful and changed his life but then--at least it feels like to him--abandoned him? someone who made him a better person--from doing whatever journalism he used to do to this--someone who he's still kinda in love with... but trent can no longer even really talk to......until he shows up again? that's some good shit, not gonna lie. although i'm jimmying that into a happy ending somehow, goddamn it.

ALTERNATIVELY. henry being one of the Neighborhood Kids (as if we're using "canon" kids, we've got limited options) and ted being an oblivious parent. trent is trying to get these kids to STOP POKING INTO DANGEROUS ALIEN NONSENSE PLEASE THIS IS HIS JOB PLEASE STOP BREAKING INTO HIS HOUSE but they're stubborn and smart and they may or may not have saved his life once or twice and oh GOD THIS IS SO IRRESPONSIBLE but he can't just TELL THESE RANDOM NEIGHBORS about ALIENS. but like anyway this just painful secret identity-esque nonsense where ted knows henry's taken a shine to that nice journalist down the street and his daughter but does NOT know that henry is getting into Shenanigans(TM). this could lead into all sorts of drama about, you know, his kid being in danger... or, alternatively, ted has worked with some unit/torchwood-esque place before and is like OHH you know what? this explains that time i thought i heard you speaking an alien language. cool, cool. and trents like. .....WHAT

etc. i'm not wording this well but i think you get the idea.

if you really really wanted to make it complicated you could do both, considering the doctor's whole thing--either a fob watch or a regeneration--but honestly, i don't want to do that, so i won't

some of the adults do definitely get involved though. keeley either clocks that shit right away or thinks she's clocked it but she's actually clocked something entirely different. she's like i know you're mi6 babe ;) and he. is not. meanwhile roy having ten freakouts in a row and then being like nvm i'm fine with this. (is not fine with this, but will be eventually). jamies like yeah aliens. everyone knows about those. and they're like what?? no they dont?? and so on.

is beard an alien? genuinely no one's sure. he's not telling.

HOLD ON can i give trent k-9???? can trent crimm get a robot dog?????? yes please i think he deserves a robot dog

also see the trickster episodes? bet you could do something real fucked up with those.

i feel like i had more when i started this post but i don't remember

this not well thought out at all and i have no idea where everyone would fit in

anyway my point is. trent crimm, intrepid journalist, running around trying to stop alien shenanigans while Those Meddling Kids keep following him around. trent crimm doin a little Breaking And Entering. scooby doo shit. and he has such an interesting mix of seeming suave and badass and then immediately doing something embarrassing. trent crimm--via shenanigans and also Those Meddling Kids dragging him into their lives (aka he tries to keep his distance SO badly and only is involved when dangerous shit is going down but like then it's all. child knocking on his door like IT'S AN EMERGENCY OPEN UP and hes like WHAT WHAT IS IT and theyre like can you help me with my homework :( and hes like. fuck. yeah fine what do you want help with. (some subjects he's very helpful on others he's VERY not) until they're like okay but you're coming to this bbq right. and he's like? no? and they're like you're coming to this bbq right. and so on) ANYWAY the point is they keep dragging him into their lives and now oops! trent actually knows his neighbors and has to go through the mortifying ordeal of being known. but that also means that when he gets badly hurt or sick he's used to the empty hospital room but now he actually gets people showing up and forcing baked goods on him and shit and i'm just feeling a lot of things about this extremely hypothetical au based on my already existing feelings about trent gaining a community in s3/post-canon,

wait does this mean trent gets sonic lipstick? HELL YEAH IT DOES

[sonickedtrowel]

🐤 orrrr 🕊️ or both if you feel like it!

Hey so I'm really terrible at the internet!!! I went and posted a thing and then didn't even answer all the responses I got, I'm sorry anon!! So... this is about this fic ask thing! Okay! Here we go!

🐤 a mystery quote (take out the context, even censor the names if you want! let em guess!)

Ooh okay I had to go ahead to my "notes" doc because I haven't gotten to this part yet lol, but love to let you guess. Although I think it's pretty obvious lol.

Now, don’t be alarmed.  I had to see exactly what sort of creature could inspire our Doctor to such new heights of idiocy.  Because, I’m sure you know, Ms. Does-Her-Research, Time Lords don’t really ‘do’ marriage.  The concept exists, of course, but it’s an enterprise of the eccentric.  The black sheep cousin who rocks up to Nana’s funeral in a studded leather jacket, sure, they’d have a wife.  Everyone would be whispering about it.  But it’s very much not the done thing.   So naturally, we both married young.  Rebels do.  And that’s when you learn the real lesson: it’s not just that sentimentality is discouraged.  It’s a dangerous liability when it goes well, and when it doesn’t?  You think you’ve seen a messy divorce?  That’s when the funny collars come off.  No, the real problem is: it ends, one way or the other.  One’s with solicitors, and the other is worse.  And if you’re the unlucky one left standing, you may find you have more lifetimes left to think about it than you’d like. I had to take a little peek at the one who made him forget such a lesson.  Of course, he is a moron.  Spending centuries going round picking up humans?  It’s like, you keep on buying hamsters, then come crying to me when it’s time to get out a shoebox?  Maybe after the first twenty you’d start to see a pattern? 

🕊️ a sweet quote (something sweet, fluffy! maybe it's cute or funny banter! or sappy wedding vows!)

Throughout their centuries together, the Doctor counted every day spent with River as a good day.  But some of them were just that little extra bit good.  Some days, her eyes lit up with immediate recognition of his age, and she greeted him as “husband” before even mentioning diaries.  He did so love when she was naughty, even if it was their own rules she was bending.   Some days, for example, they narrowly avoided being burnt as a ritual sacrifice on the way to dinner, then rushed back to the TARDIS on the sort of giddy adrenaline high that pushed dinner right to the bottom of the list. “We should be burning at the stake right now!” River scolded as he shook out his umbrella.  “It’s lucky for you you’re pretty.” “You were in no danger.  I knew something would come up.” “No you didn’t!” “I did!  I promise I did!” “Rubbish,” she declared, striding up to the console and pulling off her gloves.  She tossed her hair over her shoulder, shooting a wry glare back at him, and very nearly managed to hide the smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.  The Doctor was overcome with such a fierce wave of adoration, his rational mind checked out entirely for a moment.   “Okay,” he admitted as he stepped up behind her.  He slipped his arms around her waist and dipped his head; inhaled the cool, earthy scent of ozone and petrichor that clung to her hair, mingling with her perfume.  “I was just hoping,” he muttered in her ear.  “And they got lucky.  We wouldn’t be the ones burning if they dared lay a finger on you.”

You ask me for a quote you get a friggin novel because I have no self control. Thank you anon if you're still around, I hope you see this!!! I am going to try to write more and complete the second chapter if not before the holidays then very soon after!!

[m3llowm1sh]

cw for flashing lights tw for (slight?) ab*se mentions in the lyrics!

ok so ever since i saw this post (specifically the last pic) i could not stop thinking about how the first glass beach album is kind of cocole coded which led to me thinking about it for like almost a week which led me to start progress on this custom level of glass beach by. glass beach which. is far. VERY far from finished (7 FUCKING MINUTES ARE YOU KIDDING ME) but i wanted to share what i have of it it anyways bcuz. i need ppl to see my vision.

this post got longer than i thought it would so. More ramblings under the cut

ik the song is supposed to be about a girl’s parents being shitty and the guy wanting his lover to run away from them and stuff, but i have a plot in mind about how instead of parents its nicoles smoking addiction which keeps on hurting her and how cole is tired of it. i think its nice to explore their journey of cutting away from their addiction (even though its mostly talked about in the game… idk i still think its interesting) and how everyone else in the hospital helps them idk. also including some pining because that's always wonderful

theres also this little mini comic i drew w the first couple of lyrics of classic j dies and goes to hell part 1, theres not really a story its just random moments but i still think its decently alright? i am. not a storyteller. IDK

but anyways i just want people to get that they are so. glass beach coded and i could NOT get them off of my mind for the life of me. i hope i can muster up the motivation to finish the level because i really really want to and i think itd be cool idk RAMBLE OVER

[lilmisswhyso]

secret worlds is the wildfire and the calling is the downpour that puts it out

[find-me-in-hell]

my doctor who christmas special ranking is like this;

1) The Husbands of River Song (2015)

2) Twice Upon a Time (2017)

3) The Runaway Bride (2006)

4) The Time of The Doctor (2013)

5) Voyage of The Damned (2007)

6) The End of Time (2009)

7) The Snowmen (2012)

8) The Doctor, The Widow and The Wardrobe (2011)

9) A Christmas Carol (2010)

10) The Christmas Invasion (2005)

11) Last Christmas (2014)

12) The Next Doctor (2008)

13) The Return of Doctor Mysterio (2016)

No, I will not explain.

[bowie-leblanc]

@riverpatel

[iwakuraz]

weezer actually did something kind of interesting for the blue album deluxe!!!!

genuinely thought it was gonna be very boring

[lamphous]

COWARDS

[wingkink]

This edit goes so insanely hard but has so few views. Beam this into my brain