#im so sorry if i didnt answer this properly or like rambled on

[goldencuffs]

I’ve always been interested in Laurent x Torveld just for the simple fact that Damen saw Torveld admiring Laurent and Laurent demurely sidestepping him 🤭 but just in general I think it’s funny & cute how Damen gets mildly jealous of whomever gets Laurent’s attention like even with people he knows won’t ever happen like Nikandros & Kaenas

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i think it's truly the beauty of pacat's writing to write scenes like this. like i remember genuinely holding my breath when the damen caught + interrupted torveld and laurent on the balcony even though technically we weren't even supposed to like laurent!!!! it's such a testament to how damen's mind works -- even before he had realised it himself, he was always so possessive over laurent.

and damen's possessiveness in general is so........ idk how to describe it except it makes my chest HURT. like i laughed so hard when damen got offended about laurent learning wrestling from nikandros

and one of my favourite scenes in the whole series is damen losing his mind when the clan leader touches laurent. i remember pacing my room after i read that WOW

[cowboybrunch]

writerblr interview tag!

thank you for the tags @tragedycoded (here) @sableglass (here) and @saturnine-saturneight (here) <3 ive been meaning to get to this one for a minute sooo let's get into it

Short stories, novels, or poems?

i started with poetry, so it has a special place in my heart. all of my short stories turn into beasts. is it a cop out answer to say all of the above?

What genre do you prefer reading?

it'd be easier to list what genres i don't like. when i say ill read anything, i mean ill read anything. lately i've been on a sci fi kick (thanks Pierce Brown) but i love a good modern trashy romance as much as the next guy (i read the booktok sludge so you dont have to!) im not really a nonfiction guy but hey, if anyone has some recs, ill give em a shot

Are you a planner or a write as I go kind of person?

def NOT a planner. usually when i start writing i have a vague idea of where we start and where we need to end up, but what happens along the way is a surprise for everyone involved

What music do you listen to while writing?

SILENCE. sometimes white noise. i cant focus with music, brain gets jumbled

Favorite books/movies?

of all time? oh god for books, probably This Is How You Lose the Time War or The Song of Achilles but The Locked Tomb series is def up there. not a novel but i've read Bluets by Maggie Nelson so many times i probably have it memorized by now favorite movie is Zoolander, easy answer. that movie owns. i can watch it on repeat and ill never get sick of it

Any current WIPs?

Dust to Dust is still alive but im taking a bit of a hiatus before hopping into the final bit (tag is here if you wanna see me ramble about it) Felix Wonder is the fun time brain break WIP of choice currently and im working on draft 3 of Burden of the Reluctant Death (we will get to the ending this time. we will)

Create a character description of yourself: 

Elusive, or pretends to be. Too much energy in too small a body. Refuses to sit properly in a chair. Prone to fits of melancholy remedied by sunlight. Easily excitable, but fussy. Same outfit every day: big sweater, little pants, fuzzy socks. Nails bitten bloody but at least her hair is clean (if a bit too long for summer)

Do you like incorporating actual people you know into your writing?

i could say no but that would make me a liar

Are you kill happy with your characters?

i was gonna make a joke but it would be spoilers soo. i write about grief. no way everyone makes it out alive

Coffee or Tea while writing?

coffee. i dont like tea (sorry sorry!)

Slow or fast writer?

im very much a burst writer so. flood or drought, no in between. lately i'd say SLOW but im just waiting for that spark u get me?

If you were in a fantasy world, what would you be?

this really isnt fantasy but i feel like i was destined to be the kind, slightly off-putting maintenance man in a haunted apartment building that says cryptic things like "don't take the east elevator on a full moon" and "the air conditioning has made that noise since the fire in 12B"

Most fav book cliche:

yea there's only one bed and ill eat it up every single time!!! also: "i didnt know where else to go" or basically any overdone romance trope you can think of. im here for it

Least favorite cliche:

if there's a cliche that i dont like, i havent found it yet

Favorite scene to write?

confession scenes of any kind! scenes where the big tough character breaks down. any kind of emotional revelation, positive or negative

Reason for writing?

words in head, need words out of head ok ok fine, serious answer. i feel like writing is both asking and answering the question, "have you felt like this before? has anyone ever felt like this before? am i alone?" and it's proof that you're not the first and only person to ever experience the things you're experiencing. even this made up guy in this pretend world understands rage and despair and joy and grief and love. the source is different but the result is the same. human connection, man. love it and! it's fun. im having fun

tag!!

@knightinbatteredarmor @friendlesscat @tildeathiwillwrite @glassonthewall @illarian-rambling

@mysticstarlightduck @dyrewrites @sarandipitywrites @oliolioxenfreewrites @xenascribbles

[caffeiiine]

hi hi i didnt realize i cant like rb or answer anything answered privately which makes sense cuz its meant tobe private but its a lilinconvenient noq that i think about it but anyway answering stuff about the rewrite!!

the idea that angie can accurately replicate handwriting is so good to me ouagh, i wantee to add something where kokichi's signature was different on angie's note than the actual note for evidence reasons but idk if i ever put that in the doc

okok the wuestions now (i do not remember a lot of these things befause of this having been made 2+ years ago BhbBDFIJGBRJK)

- "how did miu not burn the whole jacket?" - i imagine a leon situation. most of it burned, but a part of it fell out of whatever machine miu made to burn the jacket and she just never picked it up (in part bc she didn't feel like it, in part bc she's dual masterminds with kirumi in this world)

- "why did she wear her jacket if she were trying to frame kokichi?" - yeh no i did not think that through FBHEBIJABFUIA i think me from two years ago just wanted an obvious difference to a character that at first wasnt very suspicious but later was like holy shit ur the mruderer AND HERES THE EVIDENCE sorry i have monster im very shaky so im not fixing typos i hope u can read these BEAUIBDFIUDSFBU

- "miu + angie alliance? :3" - in retrospect i so should have done something with that cuz i lowkey love that idea BUAOHAOJHEAJO

- "[...] if there was a rivalry between your s/i and angie bc of the similarish talents" - never thought about it but absolutely i think yes

- "what was the point of the torture post-mortem?" - angie wanted to make it seem like kokichi had dragged my s/i into his lab and tried to get him to help with some plan but my s/i refused (mightve been my reasoning?) and got to the point he tortured him to try to get assistance or something, angie just wanted it to seem like kokichi had tortured my s/i for some reason (cuz atp they all think kokichi is mega cruel mega heartless ygwim)

with a lot of the above questions i came up with this entire chapter within the span of like... a day home alone on a day off i had from school so i never really changed anything after i came up atih it? and i had reasonings for things i just never wrote them doqn properly and was like rambling to myself out loud ot think that day) (my dogs probably thought i was crazy) (i am crazy)

onto commentary comments :3

YESSS KAEDE IS ALIVE!!!! i wanted her and shuichi to both live in this so i made it happen :3 along with them i think kokichi is the only other of the remaining 5 after chapter 6 that would be alive (kirumi's influence, miu's inventions, they caused Despair and Hell snd whatever yadda yadda i tried making it work and i never really fleshed it out)

ENHABHAJDGBIHA YES ANGIE REPLICATING HANDWRITING HS MY HEART BECAUSE I JUST. i feel like shes really good at replicating styles? like art styles, s the ultimate artist yk, so i feel like she could replicate handwriting pretty well too

BAJHAUAHAJ I QANTED TO MAKE HER HVE SOME REALLY OBVIOUS THING WRONG BUT LIKE TRY TO EXCUSE IT OUT OF TRIAL. i made a few crazy angie sprites actually ebcause i wanted to hold on

crazy angies i made cuz i wanted to do that trial insanely ^ i mightve actually made these before i came up with this idea and then i qas like "WHAT IF ANGIE NO COAT AND NO ONE SUSPECTS ANYTHING UNTIL ITS TRIAL EVIDENCE" idk i had no reasoning to make her go to th etrial qithout her coat other than i wasnt cery good at thinking of incriminating evidence

i cannot actually think of a way to reply to the thing aoubt angie assuming and backing it up with atua + that whole paragraph (it is 12:12 in the morning rn as i type this) but hard agree with everything u say there

ALSO YES ANGIE REALIZING "ATUA" FAILED HER AND LOSING HER MIND OVER THAT ACTUALLY!!! YES!!!

u can like copy paste the format for the trial stuff if u want to btw!! with this i tried to make sure i did a lot of looking into what info i needed (i had an "evidence" tab too but i forgot what i was gonna put there so i left it blank + couldve been the truth bullets or smth! maybe the detailed descriptions for them??? idk) but anyway u can copy paste the actual format itself and leave maybe a few things in each thing to dtermine what exactly it is that you can put there idk idk its 12:15 im struggling BSHBSFDHIHA

ALSO YES HRUTAL MURDER, i didnt realize until i read through it again that it is a very brutal murder + generally brutal case and i put a lot of lements in there but i was very over the top 2-3 years ago so i blame that. id do better now if i could erase my memory of making this case and redo it

also ur welcome for accurate dearh times i think i had to actually look up "does a stab to the back of the neck kill you instantly" i htink the fbi has me on their watchlist now because of that alone BFRUIHRUIAHUIHAGHAH

alos yes i Can read tags on privately answered posts, i watned kokichi angst back then so i thought the best way to do that was to make him fall in love with me adn the n kill myself off BSJAHAUHAHHA, alos probably because i would have died immediately in a killing game so i gave myself the benefit of the doubt for it and made myself live for an extra 4 chapters than i probably would actually live

oookay sorry this rotted in my inbox i now have a spare 30 mins to type this 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

OHHKAY OKAY i was thinking that i was thinking it might be a leon thing or similar to that

AH GOT YAHT👍👍 adding on a little i think it’d be silly if she early on in the trial somebody asked her about her coat and she was like “oh, i lost it!” and everyone brushed it off until later a bunch of things come to light and then its like idk insert reaction i can’t think of anything😞😞

ALSO ALSO if we can fit it in somehow we should use miu + angie alliance, only thing now is would miu hang on until the end in order to not get herself tied up in the aftermath? or would she throw angie under the bus the minute things are turning out bad for her kinda like nagito and teruteru? except she definitely wouldn’t be as nonchalant about things as he was, she’d probably be taking everything as an attack against herself and being super defensive. but at the same time, she also has a super weak will and crumples very easy so at that point she might be more focused on minimizing her position as much as possible? idk im rambling <3

and also that’s so real i have several old aus i made on like testing days and stuff that i just never got around to fleshing out <3 and when i looked back on them they just. SUCKED. so i didn’t do anything with them. not saying yours sucked btw just saying mine sucked [like they were HORRENDOUS. trust.]🫂🫂

off topic i love saimatsu so much <3 anyways the kirumi + miu mastermind thing reminds me of hiyoko and ibuki tbh [LOVE them + that pairing] super super off topic once but me and my friend made a crackship once with ibuki + miu and that just reminded me of it mxnxnd

THATS SO REAL AND TRUE IM STEALING THAT HC

WOOO ANGIE SPRITES!!!! she so deserved to be a killer in the main game idc what anyone says

THE ATUA THING IS A DETAIL ID LIKE TO INCLDIE IN OUR REWRITE BTW <33 OPINIONS ON THAT

YAAY i’ve got the general format in my head for whenever i decide to actually sit down and make the doc since i’ve been procrastinating on that so hard😞

this is so off topic but i feel like you were a theater kid at one point, i barley meet people that are very expressive like you and 9 time out of 10 they are/have been theater kids :3

THATS SO SILLY THOUGH, if im being completely realistic id be the first one gone just bc im stupid😞 and id probably complain about people killing in ways that were stupid to me, id be lucky to get to chapter 2 i think unless i was in some position of power nxbdhdb s/i’s are silly and funny

[akaakeis]

sav the terriblest thing has happened......... i joined english coaching.............

okay its not that bad the guy was my ninth grade english teacher and hes kind of a w

i also found out my current english teacher is mentally ill and not one of her students got 90+ in english like..

#notmepls

ANYWAYS

this Means that i shall be offline when ur usually first online during the day on sundays tuesdays and thursdays throws up

ive alr been so busy and i was like omg #textingsav and then i realised we probably wont talk today and also the only time we'll talk is

wait omg no school tmr we WILL talk tmr which will be ur today

the way im just. rambling in ur inbox but its ok bc ur u and im me #neverdoingthisanywhereelse

next thing . wait i forgot im remembering

oKAY remembered 👍 ERM i got like a. 68 on my english test and apparently this mentally ill woman marked it wrong and i shouldve gotten an erm. wait calculating. at least an 88 LIKE GIRL WHAT THE FREAKKKKKKKKK

in other news erm why i cried in the last four days list .

i love my sister

i love my friends

english grade

teacher yelled at me

there was no garlic bread at home

i got disconnected from dti

i didnt want to get up and change

the electricity cut off five times and i couldnt play genshin properly

tumblr wasnt loading

86 eighty-six

hashtag periods i love periods

in other news i also love maths like i WAS a maths girl i AM a maths girlie i will always BE a maths girlie it is THE subject of all time and if anyone disagrees then they're wrong (unless it's u because what can i say. i always agree with cute girls🤷‍♀️)

also like i said id tell you about the smau but literally erm. i forgot.. what was supposed to happen.. i have two lines ill dm them to u or something 😭😭😭😭 WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED SOMETHING ELSE AND THEN I FORGOT IT IM GOING TO SOB.

OH YES spilling school tea

our chem teacher used to tutor this one girl and he flirted with her mom at 1am on wahtsapp and facebook and then his wife divorced him😭😭

this one girl's picture got taken. like a norm picture. and then her bf and some people fought over it. like physically. at coaching. LOL INSANE

english physics and chemistry departments of our school are failing everyone is underpaid and leaving

my english teacher is senile but we mentioned that already i think

ANYWAYSSSS UNINTENTIONAL YAP ASK I LITERALLY JUST CAME HERE TO SAY IM MORE BUSY THAN BEFORE LMFAO. look where we are. oh omg im so #scared #excited #terrified for us w/o u part 2 thats flipping SCARY IM SCARED anyways how are u? feel free to yap in the answers if u do answer it and uhhh take care stay safe love u mwa mwa dm me whenever

LINA MY LOVE!! this is gonna be long i fear. oh dear.... ok so english coaching is not fun good luck with that 😕

well at least the guy is cool ‼️

im sorry but lowkey... #wbk about that one i fear!! I ALWAYS THOUGHT SHE WAS A LITTLE MENTALLY ILL? IS THAT JUST ME OR

anyway if u dont get 90+ in english send her my way I WILL FIGHT FOR YOUR GRADE SO HARD you deserve a good grade!!! i can tell you've been putting in the effort + im proud of u!!1!!1!1

NOOOOOO WE WONT BE ABLE TO TALK AS MUCH 🙁 lwt me think so today is thursday and youll be on on mondays wednesdays fridays + saturdays as normal presumably? THATS OKAY i usually wake up latw on thursdays because i sleep late and its a whole mess... i was nearly late this morning harhar ANYWAY POINT BEING WE WILL STILL BE ABLE TO TALK TO WE'LL BE GOOD

girl me too <//3 was so locked in on tuesday you should've seen me writing my article for the magazine + writing out the rest of my speech and finalizing ITS SO BUSY RN ICB IT

these timezones are confusinf me hello i am so lost as i read this! 12 hrs apart w you ahead is all ik regarding this

ANYWAY WE WILL FIND TIME AND WE WILL MAKE IT WORK ITLL JUST TAKE A MINUTE FOR ME TO FIGURE IT OUT

its okay i live laugh love for ur asks actually im sitting in my room smiling as i type out this reply to ur ask... inbox yap hour MY FAV

A 68 IS ACTUALLY INSANE GOODBYE how did she screw up the grade so bad 😭 she can catch these fists for that one LIKE HOW DO U GET IT 20% OFF THIS IS NOT A CLEARANCE SALE MISS!!

HELP all of these reasons are equally valid 😞 periods really get me fucked up fr i think im about to get mine too smh

that is SO valid lina math is honestly a good subject 🙂‍↕️ not my fav but i honestly enjoy the class cause it's 1) simple for me 2) my tablemates are so odd to the point of being hilarious and 3) my teacher is gay and we found his grindr profile so i always giggle when i think about that HAHDBDN so math class is just heaps of fun

NOOOO I WAS SO EXCITED TO HESR ABT THE SMAU U NEED TO SEND ME THE TWO LINES U HAVE SOON!!1!!1!1 STOP I HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS BUT IT HAPPENS TO ME SO OFTEN ITS AWFUL

ok THE CHEM TEACHER??? wow okay so thats crazy! HIS WIFE DIVORCING HIM TOO PLEASE SO DESERVED everyone point and laugh!!! L man!!!!

HELP WHY WERE THEY EVEN FIGHTING IF IT WAS JUST A NORMAL PICTURE THATS SO WILD?? 😭 like guys its not that deep </3

WHAT. so like is this hyperbole or is literally everyone going to leave bc of being underpaid and whatnot CAUSE THATS SO BAD 

senility✊😞 what a trooper/j

ITS OKAY I ENJOYED READING ALL OF THAT!!!  PLEASE PRIORITIZE ALL YOUR STUDIES THEYRE THE MOST IMPORTANT <3 I HOPE YOU DONT BURN OUT FROM BEING MORE BUSY THAN BEFORE BC I KNOW I DEFINITELY DID WHEN I HAD VOLLEYBALL.. SO TAKE THINGS EASY AND DONT STRESS YOURSELF TOO MUCH PLEASE!!! ILY ILY ILY!! oh okay so us without me pt 2 is probably gonna be BAD BAD cause it will b talking about how he was actually in love w eden since BEFORE he had moved and all that so itll be extra angst talking about before he had moved 😸 basically timeskips briefly showing how he gives you less and less affection as the time he leaves draws near AHAHAH ITS GONNA BE BAD

+ im alright!!! no homework for once in a blue moon so im sitting here relaxing i feel so good rn <3 i have an iced matcha latte and a cake pop I AM LIVE LAUGH LOVING

so i dont have much to yap about at this moment but i just got back from school SOOOO ill yap about that!!

starting off strong i woke up an hour + 15 mins late and had 20 minutes to get ready and eat... i was almost late this morning BUT i have fitness first thing in the morning on my a-days (we work on an a/b schedule!!) and my teacher always comes late to that!! so i had time to dress down and i BOOKED IT to the weight room + made it!! in that class we basically just do weightlifting + my usual partner wasnt there bc she had a golf tournament... so i was with some of my other friends for lifting!! was kinda thriving bc my other partner usually does heavier weights + they did lighter ones SO I WAS REALLY REALLY FAST W MY SETS i was very proud!!

then i went into second period (i have bio) and we were doing a lab where we examined some cells in onions, tomatoes, + the inside of our cheeks (ew) but basically we had to group up and im not rly fond of one of the girls that r in my group cause she doesn't talk much she just squeezes in to look through the microscope so it annoys me 😞 ANYWAY THE LAB WAS LIGHT WORK GOT IT DONE IN 30 MINS and then i had like an hour of free time after that so i asked for a hall pass and i roamed the halls for a bit 😸 after that i have to go to advisory + i was just helping people w math hw and doing some of the nyt games to kill my boredom (oh and drivers ed stuff!!)

at lunch i was just sitting with some of my friends and playing imessage games with them 😭 then we went into the gym and played volleyball for a bit!!

after lunch i had geo and i was taking notes like a madman i fear... dk if ive said this before but like ohhh man everyone makes a point of telling me how small my hand writing is its so annoying 😭 i heard that three times during class today and i was literally done LIKE STOP LEAVE ME ALONE PLEASE ‼️

theeeen i had my speech + debate CLASS not to be confused with my club!! i already finished my oratory so i just played games the entire period 😻 lots of fun would recommend!!! i just hate the teacher cause he's always telling me to go back to my seat WHEN IM HELPING HIS STUDENTS CATCH UP ON WORK like ok! sorry for trying to help you fix the mistakes you made when teaching them how to make their speeches! goodness! my bad! anyway hes my opp 😒

AND THATS MY DAY!! anyway take care stay safe i love you!!! MWAHH <3

[autisticandroids]

tw mentions of transphobia homophobia racism and bullying, here's my ramble

what if i cant make amends? i made amends before, i fucked up with the person again, i fucked up , badly, i acted bigotted and i regret it now, for real this time. and i decided at that time to cut that person off from my life. simply because keeping that cycle of "im sorry, i fuck up again" was unhealthy. i think that making amends with people is needed if and only if the person comes to you for explanation - and apologies.

i think about bojack horseman's apologies episode - but he ended up hurting everyone. it's not because he simply didnt mean it - but also because he showed up, impromptuly, in the life of people he hurt and didn't want to hear about him, ever.

now to say i fucked up as badly as him - but the guilt i feel is there, and this impresion of "what the fuck are you doing back in my life, go away' the people we hurt in the past have - is real.

the internet crowd also - wouldn't be happy about making a donation to a cause. for example - imagine you used to act transphobic or homophobic or racist, and you decide to make a donation to an association. no matter the amount, people will say "you're just performing" or "what, only x dollars? arent you (job)?"

that's why attonement feels impossible, no matter what you do, it's not possible to feel 100 percents healed from the past, because you never will.

voicing your regrets, striving for the best, treating the next people better, being kinder isn't ignoring closure from the past.it's quite moving on from it. i know pretty much so many people who told me they wouldn't want to deal with me again because of views i had, actions i made in the past. with those situations, how am i supposed to "atone for my sins" where i must respect the boundaries those people set, aka "get out from my life"? i can only carry regret in me.

it's good to note that i made those awful life choices when i was between age 17 and 19, i have identity disturbance problems and acted like a sponge to bad influences. getting cancelled is something i fear but that i'd honestly roll with "yeah that just happened, i'm sorry for everything" which is honestly the bare minimum - but at the same time, you can never ever appease everyone.

i remember once someone who bullied me apologized to me, i felt nothing. so when someone fucks up badly, making amends is useless, it's just self serving, because what tells that the victim will actually accept your apology? what if it sinks them down further?

i don't know how comfortable i am answering this ask. it asks me to solve a problem that i'm not really qualified to solve, or frankly able to solve with the information you've given me. i am just a rando on the internet and you should not be treating me as an authority figure.

that said, you are clearly in the middle of the kind of anxious death spiral that is both destructive to yourself and useless for any kind of self-improvement, so... my attempt is under the cut.

i mean, you have to seriously consider whether an attempt to apologize will do anything for the other person - maybe it will, maybe it won't, that's on a case by case basis. i'm not the person to ask about that. i do think in most cases that a properly non-self-centered apology probably won't hurt. but that's just my opinion, i'm not god. it's something you have to decide for yourself. i don't peddle redemption arcs.

but primarily like. the thing you need to do is learn your lesson and then Move On Dot Org. don't wallow, just learn, accept, and live with. it actually doesn't benefit anyone for you to hurt yourself.

now, obviously, there are some things you can do which i think should bar you from being or having certain types of authority.

for a rather small, petty example, i can think of one person i know who was a bully in high school and deeply regretted it, but then got deeply into the "callout witch hunt" side of tumblr social justice and replicated their old bullying behaviors pretty closely, but this time just in a way where they could have it fit with their code of ethics. so like, "i believe i have the right to decide who should be harassed over a callout" is a kind of authority to grant yourself, and i am kind of ambivalent on anyone having that authority, but also specifically That person should not have had it, because they just used it to satisfy their desire to put other people down in a "more ethical" way.

so like. it is more effective to strip yourself of certain types of authority than to punish yourself. if you don't have the right to decide whether people deserve cruelty, you cannot be cruel to them. but this is not a punishment, it's simply a loss of certain privileges.

and things like "being happy," "having friends," "having a nice time playing video games" are all rights you shouldn't have taken away as a result of past behavior. but "presenting yourself as an authority on a topic," "being involved with one specific person," and "making money off your reputation online" are all privileges you might potentially want to strip yourself of if your past behavior showed that you can't be trusted with them. again, this is not a punishment, and is not intended to induce misery - it is simply a reasonable precaution.

and also, with respect to being cancelled or not - do not worry about this. that doesn't really have anything to do with you. get thicker skin. if someone tries to cancel you and they are more popular than you, you will be cancelled. if they are less popular than you, they will be cancelled. whether a cancellation is successful is purely a product of social power and is unrelated to morals. my recommendation is to make peace with the fact that if you live your life in public people will sometimes hate you. this is their problem, but also it's their right. you can't stop them and i would go so far as to say you shouldn't try. they can't do anything to you unless they doxx you, which probably won't happen unless you're really famous. or they can take your internet income stream away if you have one. the best way to defend against this is to have a real job.

[tobesobri]

duolingo emailing me out of the blue to go back to my italian lessons that i abandoned sometime last year........................

[onewizardgirl]

Part 1/3

minerva takes her cub under her wing, and a letter the next morning makes her far more protective than ever

Her little cub

Midnight chills swept through the corridor, dim torches lit the hallways. All the while traversing the dark a cloaked figure made its way through the dim corridors.

First year lakelyn thomas was shaking in her boots, a small black cloak wrapped around her, covering a blue nightgown soaked in blood. She found this blood when she woke for a glass of water. She panicked, and hidden in the darkness with her black cloak she creeped down the stairs hoping not to fall.

She aproached the door to mcgonagall’s living quarters that resided at the bottom of the gryffindor tower.

Mcgonagall was about to leave her quarters to spend some time with her old friend poppy in the hospital wing but was startled by lakelyn approaching and sternly asked

"What in the heavens are you doing out of bed miss thomas? Its past midnight,"

Lakelyn looks up at her professor,

"I-I'm sorry professor.. ," lakelyn said her eyes becoming glassy with unshed tears

"What happened, my cub?" Mcgonagall asked leading the small figure into her quarters. Usually she would take away house points and send her student back to bed, but something told her she needed to do something different. Take a softer approach, evenn the darkness minerva could tell when her cub was injured.

"I woke up to get a glass of water and i found blood on my bed," lakelyn told quietly

“Follow me,” the elder witch told, guiding the first year into her quarters.

“Are you in pain?” mcgonogall asked

“A little,” lakelyn answered “its just a stomachache though,”

“Is there a known source of the bleeding?” the elder asked again as she knealt down to look over her cub to look for an injury.

Lakelyn stayed quiet, usure of what to say, she didn’t think anyone had hexed her while she was sleeping but she could tell the blood was on her legs,almost like she’d been splinched on the inside of them, but it didn’t hurt like splinching did, and she should know, she splinched her ribs once when her and her mother had apparated somewhere in london when she was a child.

Minerva picked up on the tension in the air and made a likely assumption, since any magical ailments that could cause blood loss in this degree would have the girl howling in pain.

"Lakelyn, i believe you've started your period," McGonagall told

Lakelyn began panicking now, how could she've been so stupid?

Minerva saw the change in her demeanor and grasped the girls hands in her own

"I assume by way of your reaction you know what i meant, correct?" Minerva asked

"I'm so sorry professor, how could ive been so stupid, i didnt even think of that, I just pani-" lakelyn rambled before minerva cur her off putting a gentle hand on each of her shoulders to help steady her.

"Hush my little cub, it's fine, I understand, truly. Now, here's what you will need to get you through this week, for now I'd recommend one of the orange ones, since they are a bit bigger and are better for sleep. I will allow you to use my personal bathroom to shower and clean yourself up, afterwards you and i can take some time to talk, im sure this must be quite a difficult time without your mother near," McGonagall explained

"Thank you professor," lakelyn thanked

Minerva swirled her wand and conjured a black nightgown and clean underwear for the girl before she disappeared into minerva's bathroom.

She graded some rather awful essays from a few fourth year slytherins, finally getting to her gryffindor essays coming across hermione granger's essay written well and properly cited, just like the three years she's taught the girl prior.

Lakelyn came out of the bathroom in the black gown, minerva used her want to put lakelyn's bloody clothes in her dormitory where the house elves can take care of it.

"This will help with your cramps," Mcgonagall told "come sit,"

"Thank you professor," lakelyn said taking a seat near Mcgonagall.

" would you like to stay here for the rest of the night, my cub? I wouldn't mind a bit of company." Minerva asked

"It would be nice to not face my roommates for a morning, they all think i'm quite peculiar, scribbling down stories and fairytales at all hours if the morning," lakelyn admitted

"Very well," Mcgonagall said as she summoned a fuzzy red blanket for them while they were on the roomy sofa,

"Do you want to share some of your stories? I'm sure you'd make quite a good author for the wizarding community," Minerva asked

"Well, I've been writing one about a witch from hogwarts and a boy from the wizard school in america Ilvermorny isnt it? They met over the summer when the boy came to london to visit his grandparents and they hit it off immediately, they write to eachother nearly every day. I havent really got much after that, and im stuck in a rut right now." Lakelyn explained

"Quite the romance plot, i like that. Maybe you could do a plot twist where the boy finds a girl to date, essentially leaving the girl in the dirt, and she goes through a major character arc and becomes a completely different girl and ends up happier than ever that she's got her friends by her side" Mcgonagall said thinking of a plot to help lakelyn write.

For hours the pair sat and bounced ideas back and forth until lakelyn finally cuddled slose to minerva resting her head in the elder witches lap as she asked about minerva's days at hogwarts and listening until she eventually fell asleep. Minerva with papers that still needed to be corrected accioed a small table infront of her and her work. Letting the girl sleep while she graded.

By the time breakfast came that saturday morning poppy had made her way up to see why minerva had not visited her the night prior.

"I couldn't leave my cub alone, especially with her first period in a new place without her mother around to comfort her," minerva whispered as poppy took a seat in the recliner by the sofa.

"I see, well, i'll get some breakfast to bring up for you and your little cub, and we can play chess until she wakes." Poppy said, giving Minerva a small kiss on her lips as she left.

An owl left a letter on her lap moments later, what it read made minerva more protective of lakelyn than ever.

[bunny-lou]

Hello!! Im the anon with the ask from 2 weeks ago about how much i love your fics and how autophobia kicked my ass into hyperfocus so bad i ended up napping on the floor in the hallway and almost missing class after reading it

I just want you to know that i really appreciate you taking the time to answer said ask because i was massively anxious about having sent it as it was all pretty much nothing but an absolute ramble and since i was exhausted as shit (hadnt slept for more than 40 hours at that point in time) i didnt even remember what exactly i had said in it until reading it again just now after seeing it answered on my dash (didnt even figure it out it was my fucking ask until halfway through) so i was kinda worried about having come across differently than intended and sounding idk entitled or some shit by talking about wanting to read more from you whenever and only of possible (id fucking hate to sound like one of those "next chapter right now!!!! I dont care that you have a life!!! Write the fucking chapter now!!!" readers) and i was more anxious ab it after time passed without getting an answer (ngl i was p much straight up stalking your blog every few hours the first few days then i saw a post from you about how tumblr eats your asks and calmed down quite a bit) but yeah anyway i just really wanted to tell you how much i loved ypur stuff and how strongly i feel about autophobia and your writing in general hopefully without making you uncomfy or coming across as rude or anything i hope i succeed in doing that at least kinda

But yeah jsyk youre the first desc account i started interacting with properly after randomly becoming hyperfixated as fuck on descendants and your stuff is responsible fpr getting me more into the fandom and into desc itself so yeah thank you

And also i just wanna say that when i first started autophobia i REALLY didnt think my autistic aroace ass would like it since i never was into abo in the traditional form of the trope but goddamn did i fucking love ypur fic despite any initial assumptions i had made about it i loved carlos' characterization so much and i loved everyones characterization so much amd the whole plot and everything i felt it was So well executed i often daydream of like alternate events for my favourite fics but for yours i can conceive no alternate plot development that id like more than yours its absolutely chefs kiss

Anyway sorry for thia absolutely fucking gigantic rant feel free to ignore me apologies if its too much and (tldr:) thank you for everything!!

(Original ask)

I'm the actual worst at responding on Tumblr, I'm so sorry.

Your asks, both the previous one and this one, are so sweet! I never mind long asks, though it does take me longer to respond to them. Seriously, if it takes me a while to answer, it's because most of my work days are 10-12 hours and I do not have energy to reply, it's a busy life!! My mobile Tumblr (which is what I normally use) does not give me any alert that I get an ask, but if I check my mobile tumblr, my desktop tumblr will not show that I have an ask because it thinks I saw the notification on mobile (which I don't). So also blame the wonky app lol.

There are months of effort that go into all my pieces on AO3, especially Autophobia, so messages like these that show that people know how much effort I put into my work are so rewarding. And I love Descendants, it brought my such entertainment and joy during harsh periods of my life, I am in awe if my writing helped you to love a fandom as much as I do!

And I've had a lot of people tell me that Autophobia is their favorite ABO fic or the fic that got them invested in that trope, which also means so much to me because ABO is my favorite AU!!

Thanks so much for taking the time to send me such a lovely letter, it makes me smile so much!!

[suckjasmins]

The love story Part 1

A/n soo im rewriting this story lol i just felt like i could do better so yeah and sorry for being gone for so long (if anyone noticed) i didnt and still dont have wifi, I only have it when my sister is home and she works lol so it will take time for me to post

edit: guess who has wifi bitches!!?? this bitch right here!!

Pairings: Bakugou x Reader

Word count: 2069 (nice) words

Warnings: none lol

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Only the sound of the rain and the thunder was the only thing anyone heard. It was one of the few days where it rained and usually would be celebrated. Living in the desert like place, only heat and blinding sun was regular. A rainy day was like a blue moon, and everyone, celebrated it. The kids would play in it, the young adults would party in it, the elders would simply stand in it and converse with one another. Music and laughter would be the only thing anyone heard. This day was the opposite however, and the reason for it? More than half of the village was gone, they were on a hunting trip that should only lasted for a few weeks. It had been a few months now, and everyone was beginning to lose their hope of the hunting group returning. The only ones left were, children and elders and a few adults that had stayed for different reasons.

You were one of the adults that stayed, your reason was that you fell sick right before leaving. It was then decided that it was too dangerous for you to leave the village. It took all of your friends to convince you to stay. And let's say you were furious that you had stayed, especially now that the group were now gone. But you were not the only one who's heart were filled with rage and sorrow.

The warriors and the dragons had left to hunt the orcs who had dangerously been inching in close to the village. The whole village thought that if they could get rid of the orcs now. All would be safer, and the orcs didn't have the recourses to go to war now, so why wait until the orcs can?

You sat on the floor at the opening of the tent. Watching the puddle, you thought about how hot it still was when it was raining. You thought about your friends, and what you would be doing if they were here. You probably would be dancing and partying in the rain. And nobody would be able to hear the siren over the music, unlike right now when it was going off. The siren that only was used to important things, to signal when a new season started or when someone returned home-

When someone was returning home after war or after a long time...

You looked up, towards the mountains and right there, in the middle of the mountains. A group of people were walking towards the village. They were too far away to be able to see who they were, but everyone knew. It was them.. Getting up, you started to run towards to the group of people, standing and watching them. You pushed your way to the front and your vision started to blur from tears. Even though it was still raining, even though it was still dark from all the clouds. It felt like the sun was shining, like the rain now was a sweet reminder of the parties that usually held place here.

The group were closer now, and you could clearly see how hurt they all were. The few dragons by the humans was transformed to their human shapes. Almost everyone were limping, and helping each. other to walk. Finally you could not hold yourself back and you broke out of the crowd. A few kids following you, you made you way to the group. The first person you saw were Mina, your long time best friend. And by her side were Eijiro, one of his wings were bandaged.

"Mina! Eijiro!" you screamed out as you neared them. You stopped a step from them and you went to hug them when you realized that that wouldn't be the best.

"Are you guys ok..? Is it ok if I hug you or..?" you fidgeted around, only you three stood there, everyone walking around you.

Mina chuckled and leaned forward, hugging you. You hugged back, squeezing her hard until she slightly winced. It felt like you hugged each other for hours, rambling about different things. Like how much you missed each other.

"Hey.. when is it my turn for a hug?" Eijiro whined behind Mina, crossing his arms and playfully pouted.

"Now's your turn" you let go of Mina and turned to him. "Come here big guy" you squeezed him just like Mina. You two also stood forever and rambled about things. Just like when you were younger, he always felt like home. You also would stand there forever if Mina hadn't interrupted the two of you.

"The Bakugous is about to start their speech, let's get over there, then can you two continue your hugging party." she nodded towards the scene where Mitsuki Bakugou, the village leader, or queen, was about to start her speech. Walking towards her, you blended into the crowd already there. Mitsuki Bakugou stood in the middle of the scene, her husband, Masaru Bakugou stood slightly behind her, a supporting hand on her shoulder. On her other side stood Katsuki Bakugou with his usual scowl on his face. Mitsuki exchanged a few words with Masaru before turning her attention forward.

"Everyone... We'er finally back from the hunting trip that were only supposed to last a few weeks. It was hard but I'm glad to tell you the exiting news. When we arrived to the last sighting of orcs, we saw that there were a few who had made camp there. We fought them off our land and got information on where the main camp was. When we arrived, we were shocked to say the at least. There were a lot more than we thought there were going to be. We had to make camp and discuss our new battle plans. But then we were ready, and we fought. And... even though it was a big possibility that we would lose a few soldiers... WE LOST NONE!" a big cheer broke out and people started to almost party right there and then. Mitsuki with only her hand silenced and calmed down the crowd. "We fought bravely, many of us were hurt and are going to be treated shortly after this speech. We have now gotten rid of the orcs that harmed and threatened our land. And luckily... the mating season has not started yet. It will begin in a 2 short weeks along with spring. I feel like this year is extra special, and we will treat it like it. Now just a few words from my husband and from my soon then you can continue to reunite with your close and loved ones" she finished her speech and stepped to the side. Her husband and her switching their places. He cleared his throat and started with his speech.

"Even though my wife has said almost everything there is to say, I have a few words. I want to say thank you, for every brave soul that followed us to fight the evil. It is only with their help that we could defeat the enemy without losing one of our own. And for anyone wondering... the harvest has been good this year. And along with the animals we hunted on our way back. We have more than enough food to relax without the need to hunt. We will celebrate the beginning of spring with a feast so big it will last for days!" he laughed and the crowd cheered again. The thought of being able to properly relax and the thought of food, making everyone happy. Mitsuki then pushed her son, Katsuki, to the front. It was then you noticed his arm were wrapped and hung around his neck. It was clearly broken, you looked around and noticed a lot of people had broken something. But thankfully Mina or Eijiro hadn't broken anything. Eijiro was only bleeding from his wing but otherwise was okay.

"I would like to say... It was brave of everyone to follow on this trip, to risk their life for each other. And now we can celebrate it" his words were short and you could hear how he didn't mean any of that. Or maybe he did but was too tired to say it. Everyone clapped and Mitsuki clapped Katsukis shoulder. She whispered something to him and he scowled. The Bakugou family left the stage and almost the whole crowd turned to the direction of the medical tent. You walked with Mina, Eijiro had left to find Katsuki Bakugou, his dear friend.

"So Mina, are you excited about the mating season?" you asked her, as you walked together.

"Ah... I don't know actually... I mean Eijiro competed for me last year and well, I don't know if he's going to do it again" she answered, she stared ahead at nothing. You got a brilliant idea, almost like a lightbulb went off in your head.

"Why don't you compete for him? I mean it's tradition that couples compete every year and imagine how happy he would be!" your eyes shined as you awaited for her answer.

"Omg... Y/n I love you!" she grabbed your shoulders and shook you back and fort before hugging you. "And it can be a surprise too!" you laughed along with her.

"I'm really happy for you, you know? I don't think your or Eijiro could fins a better match" you smiled warmly while Mina gave you a cute pout.

"That's so sweet... I have to do something for you now!" she gasped and pulled you with her. "What if... I help you find someone to compete for you or someone for you to compete for?!"

"Ah... Mina, there isn't really anyone I'm interested in.." you sighed, you never really thought about dating or anything like that. But it wasn't the first time someone told you to get a date.

"I know I know... but if there's someone who would be a great match for you? It would be Bakugou!" she almost yelled out, which resulted in you covering her mouth with your hand.

"Shush! You can't just yell that!" you shushed her, she only giggled in response. "And.. Bakugou..?" you slightly blushed.

"Yes yes! I was with him a lot during this trip and you'er perfect for each other!"

"But I don't really know him? Like at all?" that was a lie, you did know Bakugou. Or at least you knew him when you were younger. You and Bakugou were thick as thieves when you were children.

It was only after he started to really bully Midoryia that you had told him to stop. Before that you would also tease Midoryia, call him Deku and laugh along with Bakugou. When you became 5 you got close with Midoryia, and started to be his friend too. And at the same time Bakugou only bothered Midroyia more. You would try to protect Midoryia but would always run after Bakugou, laughing and playing with him. Until you stayed, and told Bakugou to stop. It was the first time you were deadly serious and Bakugou only let out a tch before leaving. After that day Bakugou started to ignore you, and would bully Midoryia as much as you could.

But now, you had grown up and you pretended that you didn't know Bakugou. Like you never talked to him at all. A lot of the elders knew of your friendship, but never discussed it. The people your age didn't know, mostly because they weren't there when you were younger. It was like your friendship with Bakugou was in an another life time.

When you and Mina arrived at the tent, you saw a long line of people waiting. You let out a sigh and turned to her. You scanned her up and down and tilted your head. She wasn't really hurt, only scrapes and dirt on her skin. She didn't limp or act like anything hurt.

"Mina, are you hurt? Or why are we here?" you asked, not knowing what her answer would be.

"Oh not really... But I have a nasty cut on my back that need to be cleaned" she shrugged, and turned to stand in line. You lit up.

"That's great!" you exclaimed, before wincing. "I don't mean it's great you have a cut but I have stuff at my place. I could patch you up there!" you smiled.

"Oh really? Great! Let's go" she turned swiftly around, already heading to your tent.

[spenpy]

Was the gang jealous of Takemichi? I mean- a literally 15 year-old was/is the elite of the Diamonds. And he’s Mondo’s “right hand.” (And he was pretty close to Daiya tho.)

mm, its an interesting question, i sat on this ask a while but im still a little unsure haha........

preamble time before i directly answer!

overall, i dont think the gang was a healthy environment, though it also served as a sometimes crucial and loving (in its own sense) "family group" for many members. type of thing where they leaned on and supported each other, but there was always this culture of "you gotta be willing to be really fuckin aggressive and maybe outright violent to fit properly"--

--which accounts for mondo's desperate need to be strong (not helped by the fact that he was looked down upon a little by just being "daiya's little brother"), something that runs a little more personally than ONLY being from overall societal expectations. in the end, this need for identity and guidance in a scared guy who didnt feel strong or masculine at all when he felt like his entire self hinged on being those things ate him alive.

the gangs behaviour was cutthroat with an UNDERCURRENT of familial warmness, not the other way around, yknow? thats my take (my PERSONAL take!!! other takes on the subject are sexy!!!!) on it from what we're given. so keeping that in mind, a bit of a toxic environment, though not intentionally or truly maliciously so.

so GETTING TO THE QUESTION YOU ASKED ME IN THE FIRST PLACE (IM SO SORRY I THINK A LOT ABOUT THESE DIAMOND ASSHOLES), i think there was jealousy. there was always gonna be some with a structure like this, though not like, VICIOUSLY bad, i dont think, tho. at least not openly? likely a lot of them privately thought it wasnt the best choice (tho ill later say they could more-or-less understand why) mondo was an outwardly and superficially strong man, competent-for-the-job, and related to the original (incredibly venerable) leader who he "proved himself against". takemichis pretty far from the stereotype: small, quiet, thinks before he punches, and not particularly excitable. he doesnt really make em look as cool when theyre out riding tbh

maybe not like, ANGRY jealous feelings in the gang, with that said. i really doubt there would be that degree of friction in the gang about these kinds of decisions beyond what i said earlier. they respected their leader, and by extension they would respect his choice, especially knowing that takemichi is a perfectly trustworthy and competent individual in his own right. plus, no doubt mondo had a LOT to say about it before he left em.

HOPEFULLY THIS MAKES SENSE ITS A LITTLE LATE ATM. THANK U FOR ASKING ME ABT THIS STUFF ANON ITS FUN TO RAMBLE

[kaitosimp]

As a filthy, filthy multi shipper I’d like to know both headcannons you have for all his pairings and why you like them so much, if you want to of course!

As soon as I read this, my mind started ranting so hard 😂 I will happily answer! And tysm for asking bc if being able to talk about kaito is rare, imagine how much ive talked about the ships i have with him, so im very happy rn!! 🥰 WARNING: dis gonna be long as hell 👁👄👁

OKAY SO the two main ships I have for Kaito are Oumota and Saimota, Saimota is my fave ship and Oumota is my fave comfort ship! The other ships I rlly like with him are Akamota, Amamota, and Momoharu, i pretty much read any fic that has him paired with someone but these are the ones i search for on my own whereas the others its a "i'll read 'em if i come across em" type of deal! So lets dive in 👁👄👁 (i have endless hc's for my ships so i'll only give a few or else this'll never end)

🌌🎭 Oumota 🎭🌌

Reasons: I am a goddamn sucker for thematic parallels, enemies to friends to lovers, and the rivals tropes 🌚 I dont even know how i fell into the oumota hole, cause i didnt consider it much in game, but after reading a few fics it just made me so happy! I love their banter and clashing personalities and stubborness lol, and goddamn, the post game/hangar fics for them are *chef's kiss*

Hc's:

-The way Kokichi tried to get Kaito to see he had feelings for him was by bothering/pranking the absolute shit out of him, but Kaito's dense to these things so he didnt even realize Kokichi stopped bothering other ppl to target him specifically

-When Kaito realized he had feelings for Kokichi, his initial reaction was "oh fuck oh no why him pls no-"

-Eventually Kokichi had to directly tell him to his face he liked Kaito cause Kaito wasn't getting the message at all

-Kokichi loves stealing Kaito's clothes, esp his jacket

-They argue a lot but its over the absolute dumbest shit like before they got together, its usually nothing serious

-Kokichi secretly loves listening to Kaito talk about space, though he teases Kaito about it

-Kaito's fave thing is to cuddle/spoon Kokichi, cause he's the perf size to snuggle with

🌌🔍 Saimota 🔍🌌

Reasons: CAUSE YES!!! From the beggining of Shuichi being the main, Kaito is there for him and supports him so much and makes sure Shuichi is okay, he's just so supportive and loving and helpful and motivational and he's something Shuichi def needed to move forward in the killing game! I just fucking love their dynamic and how they help each other and how they balance each other out as well, plus the whole hero and sidekick thing is adorable! AND OFC THE FAMOUS "i shouldnt be talking about another boy like that" LINE ASDFGHJKL ITS CANON OKAY

Hc's:

-Shuichi confessed first, it took a few times for him to get his feelings across properly bc each time he said something like "i like you" or whatev kaito was like "aw bro i like you too!"

-Kaito tried to get over his crush on Shuichi bc he thought Shuichi wouldn't go for someone like him (i hc him being kinda insecure and covering it up with that confident persona of his)

-Shuichi isn't big on physical contact, but he makes the exception for Kaito bc he's always so warm and gives the best hugs

-Shuichi is the only person who Kaito lets see him vulnerable, it took a lot of time but he eventually learned to stop bottling everything with Shuichi

-Kaito constantly takes Shuichi stargazing, its his fave thing to do and Shuichi is ever so happy to accompany Kaito and listen to space rambles

-Their first kiss was beyond awkward and Shuichi nearly fainted but they got the hang of it eventually

🌌🥑 Amamota 🥑🌌

Reasons: I literally saw an amamota fic on ao3 and it won me over oops- to me it just makes sense! They're both adventurers in a way and i love their personalities together, Kaito's boisterous nature would be a nice change of pace for the ever calm Rantaro and Rantaro's mellow nature would be something refreshing for Kaito y'know?

Hc's:

-Kaito always tried helping Rantaro catch up in classes bc he always misses 'em to travel and he was always the first one to welcome him back

-Rantaro got attached to Kaito and didnt even realize it until he came back one day and kaito wasnt there to greet him (cue disappointed rantaro and bAM thats when he realized)

-Kaito loves hearing about Rantaro's travels, he's always asking for pics and details

-Kaito confessed first, he literally couldn't take it anymore and just threw it out there while Rantaro was mid greeting

-Rantaro didn't tell Kaito about his sisters until about a year into their relationship bc he was scared Kaito would disappear too

-Rantaro literally re-visited a bunch of islands and countries in the artic circle just to take pics/vids of the aurora borealis for Kaito

🌌🎹 Akamota 🎹🌌

Reason: I just think they'd be sooo cute together 🥺 Kaito and Kaede are both positive people who try to help others and their personalities fit so well together! Idk man it just makes sense to me

Hc's:

-Kaito absolutely loves hearing Kaede play the piano, sometimes he'll sneak record her so he can listen to it whenever he's feeling down

-Kaede tries teaching him how to play the piano, instruments aren't his thing but he tries his best in the lessons cause it makes her happy

-Kaito's confession was accidental, he was just listening to her play when he blurted out how pretty she was, which led to an awkward confession talk with lots of blushing

-Kaede has tried to compose a piano piece that embodies Kaito's personality but she fails everytime, cause his larger than life personality is hard to capture perfectly

-They're both big on affection, so they're constantly holding hands and hugging

AND FINALLY, 🌌🔪 Momoharu 🔪🌌

Reason: THEY'RE GREAT TOGETHER OKAY 🥺 I just love how Kaito got Maki to come out of her shell and how he trusted her/accepted her!! He gave her the cutest nickname and befriended her and literally gave his life up to protect her, aND MAKI'S CONFESSION ABOUT FALLING FOR KAITO STILL MAKES ME CRY

Hc's:

-Maki confessed it ever so casually while mid training, which literally made Kaito fall over in shock

-Kaito loves Maki's hair, he could spend hours playing with it and he always helps her brush it

-Maki hates her scars, but Kaito's always there to kiss em and remind her how beautiful she is, he always traces constellations on 'em when they cuddle

-Maki's constantly scared she'll accidentally hurt Kaito, or that he'll get hurt bc of her past

-Kaito's very protective of her, just like Maki is of him

-Maki loves the sound of Kaito's voice, her favorite thing is to listen to him talk about space

W O W i am so sorry for this massive post 💀 I seriously tried limiting myself asdfghjkl oops

[babysizedfics]

I’m sorry if you either can’t or don’t want to answer but how do I know how old I regress to!! I always see people go “when I’m little I’m from x-y” you know but I just,,,,, baby...?

Is there like,,,, a “kids this age can do this thing, kids this age grow out of that, etc” list or something...?

yeah generally the only way to know if to 1) have a good understanding of your behaviours when little (this could be a problem if ur not aware of yourself when regressed and dont have anyone else to help obeerve) and 2) research developmental stages in human children! which is like you said basically a list of kids this ages can do this but not this etc

when writing vee i did a lot of googling of developmental stages of babies, when youre a baby each month has very distinct behavioural changes

but it is a tricky thing to know and its definitely not essential to your regression to hav an exact age

i say i regress from 0-2 because i know that when im regressed i dont talk and if i do its babbles and cant walk properly and do various baby things etc but i dont have enough awareness to know exact months, and not many regressors do

most people kind of guess - i will also say a lot of people guess their age without knowing abt developmental stages and that doesnt rlly help. like vee in the fic for a few yearsi thought i regressed to 6 yrs old just because i rlly didnt understand what behavioirs match with what age

so yeah the only way to know or at least get a good guess is to research developmental stages - there are tons of reaources for that online but i have found the most detailed and accurate to be this website:

which gives u developmental stages from age 1 to age 17 for every year - however it only gives you year by year, it isnt good for infant age ranges since every month of development is so different at 0-2 yes old

so for working out a baby age you will want to check developmental milestones by month in an infants life which i found this wensite good for:

this is a link to the three month old stages on that website but they have pages for every month of a babys life which u can find links to near the bottom of the article, and i used this to help find vee an age range in the fic. i would use it for my own regressoon age too but as i said im just not aware enough of my own regressed behaviour to do that

also just gonna say if you cant figure out an exact age thqts totally normal and okay, people have age RANGES for a reason - regression isnt always a cut and dry thing, you may pick up behvaiours from various ages so its not always exact down to a momth. its also harder to tell ur age when u regress to baby ages because each month is quite heavily defined by physical development too and of course you still have a fully developped body.

so while it is a fun exercise to try to investigate ur baby brain, please dont stress too much if its trickiwr than u expected! its wnough to just say ur a baby regressor if thats enough for you

but yeha i hope this helps! sorry for rambly

[ephemelody]

hi!! i hope im not bothering u by coming here, u can ignore this if its too personal, but im currently in my junior year of college & i still dont know what i wanna do w/ my life. i remembered u mentioning that u pursued something u didnt want in college & are now going after ur dreams, & i was wondering if u had any advice for me? ive always loved writing but its daunting to me as a career bc i just dont think im good enough. again, u dont have to reply! im just kind of lost rn & thought of u.

hey anon, thank you for opening up to me about this topic! it’s no bother at all!! i’m sorry for the late reply; i’ve been quite busy with my jobs and applications and i wanted to answer this properly. 

i’m definitely a supporter of following your dreams and pursuing what you truly want in life. life is short and the world is falling apart, and for me i knew that if i didn’t pursue something i really wanted, deep in my bones, i would most likely die with all my regrets weighing down on me. maybe that sounds melodramatic, but that’s ultimately what pushed me to make my decision. so if writing is something you want, something you’re willing to fight for no matter how hard the journey might be, then i say go for it!! 

making a career out of writing is definitely daunting though, i feel that anxiety 200%. to be honest, ever since i quit applying to medical school to go after the dream of publication, it hasn’t been a walk in the park. i’m currently working 2 jobs to pay my bills and i had to compromise a lot because of my personal family issues and because i didn’t want to waste my degree that put me over $30k in debt. that’s another reason to pursue something you’re actually interested in college: don’t waste your time and effort and money on something you don’t really want. it will only hurt you more in the end. 

of course, it’s also important to be practical/financially responsible. not everyone can be as lucky as veronica roth who got a crazy publishing deal for ‘divergent’ before she even graduated college. a lot of the authors i follow on social media have a day job to make a living wage while working on their stories in whatever time span they can. leigh bardugo, the author of the ‘six of crows’ duology, worked as a makeup artist among other jobs until she finally published her first book in her 30s. and madeline miller, author of ‘the song of achilles,’ worked on that incredible book for 10 years while being a college professor. so if there’s a major or career you’d be content with studying that will be able to support you financially while you pursue writing on the side, that’s definitely a good option.

i don’t think there’s any author out there who feels like their writing is “good enough.” it seems like most writers are riding the imposter syndrome boat lol. and in publishing there’s going to be A Lot of rejections. i actually finished writing my 1st novel last year and it didn’t go anywhere, so now it’s collecting dust in my computer while i try to finish my 2nd novel this year and hope it’s decent enough that an agent will be interested. i don’t think i’ve ever felt “good enough” about my writing, but i love doing it anyway. there’s nothing else i’d rather break my heart over. 

so pursue writing if you love it, because someone out there is absolutely going to love your story too. i definitely finally got the courage to chase after my dream because of people supporting my klance fanfics. when i read people’s comments and saw how happy my silly stories made them and all the wonderful encouragement i received, it gave me hope that i’m not as bad as my brain often convinces me. it made me want to read up on the craft and study other authors’ way of drafting and improve in whatever way i could. so if you need some encouragement, share your writing with a few friends or take creative writing classes in college! the biggest support system i have right now is a writing discord i share with a friend who’s also pursuing publishing. 

i hope this ramble was somewhat helpful/made sense. please let me know if there’s anything i didn’t answer and please don’t hesitate to talk to me more if you need. i felt very lost and alone sometimes in college because of this topic. definitely supporting you and wishing you the best if you ultimately choose to pursue writing in whatever way!!! 

[fourthwingingit]

Two

Edit: tumblr didnt post my edits from my original post (like you know when you save something as a draft and go oh wait there are some errors like no header and awkward phrasing lemme fix them) so im gonna repost this eventually but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Edit 2: tumblr sucks and never lets me put the thing so... This is for the anon who requested a fic of touch starved clark and conner with the prompts 'nobodys ever done that to me before' and 'i just want to be held' sorry it got angstier then i ment it to.... hope you like hurt comfort

Clark hovered awkwardly outside the door to conners room. He was nervous about seeing the teen with everything between them and what he wanted to ask him.

He took a breath. Conner almost certainly knew he was there already. But that didnt matter.

Ma always said that manners matter

He knocked.

From inside came a muffled, annoyed, and clipped

"What is it clark?"

Taking that as the best invitation he was going to get he opened the door and went in.

He looked at conner. The kid was on his bed, facedown on top of the covers like an angsty teen in a movie.

Clark thought he looked too small for the position he was in. Like he was waiting for some blow that was going to take a part of him with it to land... or like it already had and he was cradling a hole

Clark shook off the disturbing thought and steeled himself. He swiftly walked to Conner's bedside, and said, eloquently,

"Well. I... you see...... uh... lois- i mean to say..... uhh"

Lord this was already going to hell in a handbasket.

Conner turned his head enough to raise one eyebrow

"What the hell was that?"

He sat down a respectful distance away (as far away as he could) and tried again

"Hmm... you see i uhh- hmm you know how uhh.... things umm. Sometimes.... uhh"

Conner slowly turned his head the rest of the way to clark, confusion now written in every line in his body. great.

Clarks back bowed fast. Like his head gained 20 pounds in a half a second, his arms planted themselves on his knees and he gave up trying... he'd try again some other day. Maybe tomorrow. Or maybe lois should do it.... Kal-el you coward.

"I... i dont know, ive got nothing."

But now he was scrambling, he needed a reason for being here. And what came out was;

"Ma told me shes uhh, seen you acting in a... less than..... ideal...... kind of.... way.?"

"Wow."

"No yeah i heard it"

"That was some next level awkward," and there was some distinct venom in that voice shoot. "if its that hard to be around me then you can find the door. I certainly dont need your pity handouts anyway."

Well.... shit

"No thats not.... im.... i wanted to ask- uh... whats been bothering you..... sport."

He now had what bruces kids called The Awkward White Man Smile... great.

Suprisingly, Conner chuckled.

Maybe a small part of Clark's brain said its not hopeless?

"Right now? Your social skills."

Banter! He hung around batman! He could do banter.

"Aww man and here i was thinking i was handing out winning lines."

"Oh no, youve gone senile a little early, well... maybe not early... good thing you've got Kara."

There was a small smirk playing at conners lips and an actual opportunity. God was real and he loved Clark Kent.

"At least I know I have two good boys to pick me up after im down." He looked away fast.

Silence stretched on

.......

Awkwardly

Oh lord he messed up the moment

He presumed too much and their only friendly interaction in over a month is ruined

"Two?"

The voice Conner used was so painfully soft and small. Like it didnt dare to hope anymore and had stopped trying a long time ago.

Clark never was good at leaving voices like that alone. And he was always more comfortable when something needed doing anyways.

Superman courage steadied him enough to take a risk.

He reached out his hand, and ruffled Conner's hair, trailing his fingers down after to rest on the shoulder closest to him and said.

"I have two kids dont i?"

More silence

Conner was frozen beneath his fingertips

He panicked

Oh god

He had fucked it up

He had fucked up enough times that conner didn't want anything to do with him

Okay damage control

"That is...." Conner stiffened further "if i haven't been so horrible to my eldist that he doesnt want anything to do with me"

The silence was now so deep he could hear the dust motes brushing against everything

He heard a tiny sniffle

And then he telltale sound of tears hitting bedsheets.

His head whipped around, his glasses flew off somewhere into the room. He barely noticed.

Shocked, he started to speak but Conner cut him off before he could finish the first syllable.

"You know when i was in Hawaii i used to watch families. Specifically parents and children. I'd be so jealous of-"

Conner cut himself off.

"Nobody's ever- i mean...... parents do that to their kids.... the hair touching thing.... Nobody's ever-" his voice broke, he cleared it. "Nobody's ever even tried to touch my hair if we werent kissing."

He gave a pitiful, watery laugh and, after a breif, stunned, pause, started rambling about how "of course i get it cut, like, the barber touches it and stuff..."

And it all hit clark.

Somehow it had never occured to Clark, that even though Conner looked like he was so much older than Jon, he wasnt.

He wondered who raised him

Who fed him

Who hugged him through nightmares

Clarks heart broke

Because he was certain the answer to most of those kinds of questions was 'Conner' and none of them were "Kal-el" or "Clark Kent"

Clark turned a bit and ran his hand over Conner's back softly, cutting off his rambling and said in a voice that was somehoe warm but still felt guilty and mourning;

"What do you want? What can I do?"

Conner was stunned. Kal had never given him anything like this. So he kept talking to give his brain time to catch up.

"I don.... i- i used to watch families... in- in Hawaii, and I'd get jealous of the kids, that they got to have families. Got to have parents. I dont..."

Clark turned a little to properly face his son and grabbed his hand.

"What can i do Conner?"

One day ago Conner would have asked for a lot. To never see Kal again, the superman title, his spot in the JL, even some time with Jon. But now?

Conner shifted, he sat up as best he could. And guided Kals hand to the side of his face, through tear tracks, held it there for a second, and then slid it into his hair. All thr while leaning into it like it was the only support he needed.

"I just want to be held.... without expectations..... without titles or rules or anything in return."

Connor wouldnt meet his eyes, or look up from the bedspread during his request.

For the second time that day Clark's heart broke. But now he had something he could do.

He reached out with his other hand, guiding his son into his arms, and gently layed them down

He kept one hand on the back of Conner's head, stroking the strands there. And one hand on Conner's back slowly moving back and forth.

From the first point of contact, Conner's world narrowed to the hand Kal had put on him. And now, there was more. Now he was allowed to reach out. He wanted to get closer. To bury his face in Kals chest and curl up small. To let the world fall away around them. Until nothing existed but them. Holding each other forever.

Kal seemed to read his mind, and guided his head to tuck itself under his chin and pressed them closer together.

No promises, no strings, no obligations after.

He could leave whenever he wanted.

He wanted to stay forever.

Conner wondered breifly what was like to be held by a father. If it felt as nice as this. Like everything crashed in on him, but it was okay.

Maybe, he thought.

They had a maybe.

And this maybe was a lot of ground to stand on.

[georgeinamerc]

Ayeeee good afternoon bestie i totally fucked up my back yesterday and now I’m walking around like a 90 year old man djdjdjjd but hi hello how are you!!??? I have to do a bunch of shopping today and I’m not looking forward to it but at the same time I weirdly am, and then I’ve got to bake later 👀 if they come out good I’ll send you some pictures :))))

(Also! My pronouns are she/they ty for asking I realized I didn’t know pronouns with that other ask and I didnt want to scroll through your entire blog to figure out what they were I’m sorry 😞 )

I hope you have a happy day!!! :)))))

-jc

Goodmorning bestiee I'm sorry for answering just now but it just appeared in my inbox? anyways...

How did you fuck up your back huh??? interesting..🤔👀 (no no i'm just kidding lmao don't block me💀) HAHAHAHAHAH IM LIKE THAT MOST DAYS TBH i just have the worst posture when seated and when standing so i always look weird i'm sure! But seriously get well soon baby! I'm sending you a tight hug<33

uh I'm doing okay, I just haven't had a lot of motivation lately- not just to study but to just properly function like a human being lmaoo, this week (bc it's the last one before holidays) our classes are online so i've been rotting in bed watching my series and reading smut all day🤩finals don't exist in this little brain of mine!!

YESSS I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN ABOUT THE SHOPPING PART for me it's like getting in the shower, at first you don't want to (but also kinda do?) and then you just can't get out bc you enjoy it IF THAT MAKES SENSE AND I DONT SOUND WEIRD-

Thank you for letting me know!! I wanted to ask you before but always got caught up in the rambling that i forgot about it- and that's on short memory!! No no please don't apologize, i don't even know if i've mentioned it before on my blog! I usually tell people when we start dming cause it's hasn't been needed before yk?? but yeah it's my fault, i should have them on my description thingy :(

PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU BAKED AND I WILL BE EXPECTING PICTURES IF YOU LIKED HOW IT TURNED OUT :))))

I hope you have a happy day as well!!!!<333

[spitelout]

As that makes sense, thank you for answering my questions! => Hmm this one might be a weird one but if when the gang have a run in with a new dragon who's breath has the ability to de-age anything it touches for a limited amount of time, how would Spitelout react to his son conning back a toddler again and staying that way for a few days? Espicially if his now toddler son would want/need his attention so often?

He would be unbelieving at first, then angry, it would probably take him a bit to realize Baby Snotlout doesn’t have his memory intact, hes just a baby again….Then he would fall right back into his old dad ways, making silly noises while trying to teach him how to use his bludgeon properly all over.

Because what greater pride is there in the Jorgensen family than to train the young to be just as good as their parents =3

He probably isn’t the most responsible parent, however. I mean…neither was Stoick, they both gave their children deadly weapons as their first gifts.

He was probably rougher than most people, I can see him putting Snotlout with Terrible Terrors to make them play fight and then beaming with pride over any scars the toddler might receive in the tussle.However, I can also see him reassuring the toddler as they cry that this is a good thing, that they will grow into a strong warrior and be able to tell the tale of when they beat a dragon as a baby. (In fact, I think thats where the idea of Stoick killing a dragon with his bare hands as a baby came from…exaggerated scar stories. It probably happened about the same way….with a Terrible Terror.)

Tbh, if such an event occurred, Hookfang would probably have to take over caring for the reborn Snotlout because I just dont believe Spitelout is capable of being a responsible adult with babies, he doesn’t understand how fragile they ARE compared to what they CAN BE.He, among other vikings in the tribe, were probably the type to put several babies in a ring and watch them fight.Vikings are communal - even in parenting, so its possible he often left Snotlout with anyone willing to watch him….The twins parents come to mind - which is probably why they spend so much time together as teens as well, they were raised together.However, its possible Snotllouts mother died later in his life and she raised him until he was able to walk and follow his father around. Perhaps she raised the tins as well - they do mention they’re orphans, but -shrugs- their pasts are pretty clouded in mystery too.

Unfortunately, with this in mind, the twins would probably convince Spitelout to let them watch baby Snotlout for a bit and…I think we can all guess how that would go.

Lets just hope Hookfang isn’t affected by this as well, bc that baby is going to need a guardian angel - especially a five ton angel of fangs and flame

Also , since your ask was so specific, heres a sorta drabble based around it.

————————————————————————

There are few things that can surprise Spitelout these days, very few, but as the small viking - no, chieftain, Hiccup, stood awkwardly before him, he found himself at a loss. Hiccup was always presenting the tribe with surprises, and now, it seemed, he was presenting a very personal one to him.

Curious, and perhaps a bit bemused by the awkward chieftains shuffling he began the conversation, “What brings the chief of Berk to my door today?”

Hiccup scratched the back of his neck as he looked between the ground and Spitelouts gaze, “Uuuuuuh,” He took a deep breath and let it out, “Spitelout…” There was something heavy on his mind and he didn’t seem to know how to get it out.

“Yes, I am he. go on, boyyo.”

“While we were out exploring the islands, we encountered a dragon we had never seen before, it was amazing, it was - - ” Hiccup never had been the best at getting to the point, but Spitelout let him ramble; the lad really liked his tales, Stoick had too….

Luckily, Astrid stepped in, ah, what a great lass, always straight to the point. “What hes trying to say is, we found a new dragon and Snotlout being Snotlout, well,…” she trailed off, biting her lip as she held out a tightly wrapped bundle towards him, a Snotlouts helm delicately placed atop it.

Spitelout felt his brow furrow as his gaze trailed down to the bundle. There was a tightness in his chest that he refused to acknowledge. Had his boy really gotten himself-

He glanced up as Snotlouts Monstrous Nightmare waddled into view, it seemed anxious, but not particularly upset. Strange, that.

He became plagued with wary curiosity.

“Hes a bit…shorter than when we left this morning,” Astrid continued at last, a light chuckle in her voice,

He took the bundle in one burly hand and gingerly unwrapped it with the other.

He looked back up at the pair, who continued to watch him warily and awkwardly at the same time, he furrowed his brows deeper, trying to decipher what sort of game or joke they were playing at. He looked to them fr answers.

“Spitelout, this- this is your son.”

Spitelout chuckled heartily,  it was just some game they were playing, strange, he always assumed they were different from the twins. “I only ave the one, boyyo, don’t think I could handle anotha.”

“No, Spitelout, that is - this is Snotlout.” Hiccup insisted. “the dragon he battled had this strange…” he struggled to find words, “venom, I guess is the best word for it, that, when inhaled, reverses the aging process and turns people back into younger versions of themselves.”

Spitelout critically searched their faces for the lie, then stared down at the child in his hands, it looked back at him with familiar grey eyes.

“Gothi says theres a cure, but we have to find all the parts.” Hiccup hesitated, choosing his words carefully. “Until then, you need to take care of him…”

“Alrigh, Ill play your lil game, ” he sighed good-heartedly. He found it hard to believe such a thing could really happen, “But if ye needed  babysitta, all ye had to do was ask.”

Hiccup began to protest, but Astrid stopped him, pulling him away with one last wary glance behind her and leading him to their dragons.

Spitelout shook his head as their shadows vanished in the horizon, it seemed the pair still had a ways to go before they became parents of their own. He looked back down at the child and wiggled his fingers near their face making silly noises as he did so. The child gripped his fingers tightly, and a seed of doubt entered his mind.

—————

He was angry at first, pacing the room as the Monstrous Nightmare coiled itself around the child and watched him carefully he didn’t doubt that the thing would light the entire archipelago on fire just to protect Snotlout, but he wasn’t concerned by its low rumble.

“Ow could you go an be so brash!” he scolded loudly, “I ave told yew time and time again, ye cant jus rush in blind!”

“Now, Look at ye! Reduced to - to this! Well I ave news fer yew, Im not changing that diaper. Yew can change it yerself!”

The child sniffled, a cry beginning to bark from their throat.

“Oh don’t start yer cryin, Ive told ye about this before. Were Jorgensens! We don’t cry! We make other people cry!”  he tried to sound harsh, but there was a softness edging into his voice as tears streamed down the childs face.

The Monstrous Nightmare was growling now, a full fledged snarl that bared every single dagger-point fang in his head.

“Oi don’t ye start! Where were yewwhen this happened anyway?”

The dragon bulked at the accusation and simmered back into a low rumble.

Spitelout sighed as the childs screams ripped through his home. He wasn’t angry, he was frustrated, frustrated at himself.

Freya help him, he couldn’t raise a child alone.

Ignoring the dragon he plucked Snotlout from its coils and sang him the Jorgensen lullaby.

————————————————–

“its just wee scratch,” he reassured his son as the toddler screeched and flailed away from the terrible Terror. “Hopefully it will scar and then yewll have a story to tell when ye get older!”

The baby sniffled unconvinced, but curious. 

“Ye can tell em you got it grappling a berserker who tried ta kidnap the prodigy of the Jorgensens!”

The baby lit up as his father articulated this cheerily with his hands.

“But no one kin take a Jorgensen from the place he calls home, no one!”

————————————————————————

He was happy to play father again, really he was, up until day three had passed and neither Astrid nor Hiccup had returned.

He was a busy man, incredibly busy, and also incredibly tired.

Did babies normally cry this much?

Spitelout did his best to comfort the babe, but it didnt seem Snotlout understood how great it was to be a Jorgensen, couldn’t see what a great warrior he would be one day….had been….

———————————————

There was a ruckus upstairs, a series of dragon shrieks and the smell of burning wood. There were startled screams and the screams of a woken baby.

Spitelout rushed upstairs, ax at the ready as he prepared to defend his son.

the screaming stopped when he got halfway up, the house became eerily quiet, and chill went through him followed by a burning in his gut. Whatever was up there better have prayed to whatever god they believed in that no harm had come to his son.

Voices reached his ears, soft but with an annoying edge to it, the twins.

“Hes so cute now that he cant hit us~” Tuffnut purred as he let the small Snotlout play with his braids.

“Yea, and now that he cant talk!” Ruffnut laughed.

“Oh, hey, Spitey” Tuffnut noted blankly, unapologetic in the damage they had caused. “Mind if we take Snotlout out for a midnight flight?”

————————————–

Edit: Annnnnd sorry but I ran out of juice here. -shrugs loudly- Its 1 am, I spent too much time on this as is. X3