#im so so scared like i CANNOT get covid right now

[bonetrousle]

Mcr concert is in five weeks im officially going mcr mode and im not going to behave “normally” for the duration of that time by which i mean i will do everything in my power to avoid getting covid so i will avoid everyone and wear a mask at all times :)

[questionablydehydrated]

um hi im actually going to start crying or maybe panicking does anyone have any tips for extra care? i am the only one in my family to have never gotten covid (from what i know) and am currently immunocompromized due to a new pill im starting. i had no idea this was happening and i just got out of the hospital about two weeks ago. the trip was for me, but my mom had some of the worst sickness she's ever had while there (what she describes as the worst shes had, although her symptoms feel familiar in what usually happens to me when i become sick) and we had thought it was her being really worried over me and she has some sort of chronic coughing so..

what im trying to ask is if there's anything extra we could be doing to keep me and my mother safe? we're low on money because i went to the hospital twice last year and my father consistently works three restaurant jobs with people who have been getting sick. im scared this will infect my household as both me and my mom are more in danger and cannot deal with this mentally right now. so please, any tips? better masks or the like?

Covid Update, USA, late December 2023: Buckle up, folks.

Takeaway from his (very informative) thread:

Wastewater counts are obscenely high right now, belying the official case numbers. Considering that we've stopped collecting or reporting most COVID data, wastewater is the best way we have to judge the actual infection rate now.

We are currently seeing ten million new infections a week, and can expect that to greatly increase within the next three weeks.

If you've stopped masking, please start again, for your own safety and the safety of your community. Many hospital systems are already trending toward being overwhelmed right now; let's do what we can to lighten their burden.

Avoid unnecessary gatherings where possible.

Ventilate your spaces well (this is a good time to build that Corsi-Rosenthal box you were thinking about! I made one, it's great).

And just from me, personally--now's a good time to reevaluate casual habits. I've been careless, again, about touching my face. Time for me to knock it off!

This is a period where we need to act with more care. Not a time to panic, but a time to be more cautious.

[jayflrt]

alice !! im started college and omg im so scared and anxious of moving overseas. literally screaming inside as days near by. so i wanna say ill probably miss a lot of updates which is sad but ILL BE BACK AND START WORKING MY MIND WITH THEORIES. 😋 mini rant, most of my friends are already in their second or third year of college and me just starting college makes me feel im so behind in life. honestly I finished school right after covid and with that mindset I knew I can’t really cannot get a degree or do anything. I needed a good break, which really didn’t go that well but I would say it was good. yeah sometimes having brown parents is a battle you have to fight. Also I didn’t really have a career choice made by the end of school. I feel like the gap years I had (which btw I spent working) was somewhat good for me so I can really think about what I wanna do. however I do kinda wanna say my decision for moving abroad was a bit rushed maybe or this is just the anxiety in me ? now im thinking of moving abroad is really worth it or not 😞.i know im still young and college isn’t really about age, rather about education. but peer pressure and pressure from my parents are just so much. i have been coping with these thoughts in a healthy way, but sometimes its just eats me up. Regardless im so excited for college and I can’t wait to get good education !!

Theory anon

omg congrats on starting uni !! i hope you have an easy transition into college life :') and it can be really overwhelming to move so far for school but i'm sure you'll adjust smoothly and have a great time!! AND DW ABOUT IT AT ALL i can't wait to hear all about your uni adventures 🥰

ml you are not behind at all!! you're starting COLLEGE!!! you're already ahead 🫶 and i've had plenty of friends who took gap years after high school to work a little and take some time to find themselves before they started college, and they were really successful in college because of that! i so get you with the brown parents though but trust they'll chill out eventually 🤧 and it's good that you got to take some time to think about what you wanted to do in the future!! a lot of people enter college and feel really torn halfway through their degree, so it's a universal feeling dw

and honestly i got the same cold feet before starting my undergrad! i'm sure it's a lot more intense for you since you'll be traveling abroad :( but don't worry the experience will be worth it!! i'm sorry that the peer pressure and expectations from your parents are getting to you though :(( maybe take some time during your first year to figure out if this is what you truly want,, it's never too late to make a decision on how to live your life ! but it'll definitely be an exciting chapter in your life regardless 🥰💖

[frostbite-the-bat]

.

i still cant believe its been basically over a year since the start of my last year at my high school - like i am free from that now.

the first month or SO was pretty breezy - before things get harder and things are still getting started. but still, less breezy than the other years of course, as we already had some dumbass typical-for-my-school bullshit thrown at us.

i was terrified of my finals that were coming later next year, but i was still carrying through. i also began realizing i am basically in pain daily - NOT just my hands. but couldn't pinpoint the cause but i knew that practice where we do laborous physical shit was going to be a nightmare. (it was)

after covid and bad untreated carpal tunnel shit it was a nightmare to go through note-heavy classes too. not being able to pause for even a second or you miss out on important notes, getting weird looks from your teacher. literally gasping for air as your hands cannot handle the sharp pain from having to write this fast. and you're still 'slacking behind'.

that got better and then worse in some days. but. sure. can deal with that. have been dealing with that since.

but at time went on and on i became more and more miserable, more scared of my future. this school was hurting me more and more, being constantly neglected by my teacher. me especially. the others being better at what they did, so they got some special treatment. more time at the more laborous work for me!! it was a painful fucking nightmare both physically and mentally

i dreaded going there everyday. everyday i wanted to drop out - i wanted to get out of that god damn hell school. as things got worse so did my thoughts... and yet i made it! i managed to get through. i did it.

at this time last year i would've been already going through so much shit. and yet i'm here. like. i've actually done it. i lived. did i deserve that?? did anyone deserve that treatment we got there?? absolutely fucking not.

in all fucking seriousness i couldnt be happier right now doing nothing, even if it does get to my brain sometimes. even if i know i wont get good treatment in the future, possibly. but even then there's still a future for me. even if still under my parents - if i do get a job i can just quit i will not be tied to a shitty teacher and possible legal trouble if i dont attend. this teacher who also likes getting too personal and nice and then whips out some of the most cruel most insulting shit you could imagine. i hope shes fucking happy quitting the job after essentially abusing me and my classmates. i hope shes happy doing her own thing after screaming and yelling at me and telling me to cry harder when i did a simple mistake. i hope she's fucking proud of herself for this. i hope she knows how miserable we all were during her classes, or rather, the lack of them, as she never taught us anything and made us do her own personal event shit for her. i hope she knows i dont ever plan on doing anything in my life thats like what i studied at this school and graduated from basically because im so scarred by it.

seriously. how was any of this legal. it cant be. i feel so sorry for any future students, but also happy, since they wont have to deal with HER anymore.

i do not, honest to god, plan on going back to any school anytime soon, and i'm just fine staying unemployed for now even if just.. completely under my parents. i cant do shit anyway. but god im happy to just.

rest finally after all that. nobody deserves that. looking back and not living through it anymore makes me realize how fucked up it was. its so surreal. im not dealing with that anymore.

but god is it going to haunt me for a long time.

[areyoumyparadox]

Return

I haven't been on this blog for awhile not that I am not struggling with the same issues, it's just that I find it hard to cope.

Yeah it has been many years without love but not without attention. It's great being in a relationship but you cannot force things.

Song: Fall in love - Yuno.

I can't make you fall in love with me. Sometimes you might like someone in a relationship. It is difficult to stop yourself from liking someone, but it has happened before. One sided love. Sometime thoughts are just so consuming and so overwhelming that I cannot concentrate on things.

Anyways last year I almost had a thing with this person. I think ever since that time when we were in school I fancied him. We don't run away from facts. He has always been a friend and stayed that way as the years passed. We would hang out, I guess covid was a good time too, we would call and stuff. But I guess in Switzerland we started talking and calling and everything and I must say I really really liked him and I think he liked me too.

Im staring at the keyboard, I don't know how to continue.

I guess that was kind of the end of the whole situation. I friend zoned him, maybe I was scared or I was convinced that he wasn't the right person or maybe my short temper got in the way I get ticked off/ turned off easily as I nit-pick a lot. Anyways I friend zoned him, he moved on, now with an arguably cute girl and every September when I wish him happy birthday I start on my cycle again. The ooooh I fancy you phase, waiting on messages like a little puppy.

Anyways its been about 3 days and you haven't replied my text, a very non intrusive text and I'm left sitting here being upset, checking my phone every hour, not concentrating and wondering why you aren't replying my messages. Perhaps it might be drawing a line or maybe I'm just overthinking. Regardless, he has a girlfriend now, and you should never overstep, you made a choice a year ago why are you regretting it now. What is the solution then? What is going to help you cope.

This is punishment? This is punishment. Suck it up and live with it. It stings now maybe for 2-3 more days but that should be the end of it. Direct your mind to other important things.

[tenseoyong]

Hellooo, how are you? Hope you are safe and healthy.

So, I came across this dude on Instagram and his posts make no sense to me. And I thought 'What would liz think about it?'.

The link:

1) https://www.instagram.com/p/CNnSmzcA23J/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

2) https://www.instagram.com/p/COaVn9MgT-a/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

I see a lot people making covid-19 a life and death issue. Yes, it is but it is more than that too. My father got infected with it in the month of April this year and fortunately he escaped it alive but it effected his lungs forever. He used to walk a couple of kilometers previously but not anymore. His diabetes just makes it worse.

I hope mask hating covidiots realize this.

And this man thinks the government is turning authoritarian because it's asking us to wear a mask but at the same time let's force a pregnant woman to carry the baby to term.

You getting an abortion affects no one but you but an virus infected person refusing to wear a mask is endangering people's lives.

Sorry for the long ass post.

i hate when any man opens his damn stupid mouth.

survival rate? ok you may have a very good chance of living through it, but it’s the after effects that are going to fuck you for life, like you mentioned your father. i think it was more to do with scaring the public, wear the mask or you may die! because people (specifically americans) have this idea that just because it can happen, it’ll never happen to me. yeah old people die, but im young and healthy so im basically superman. until you’re not.

open the schools. okay, more likely to die from the flu. so how about we not sacrifice any children to potentially die for the sake of a gatcha! moment. better yet, why is it acceptable to mass infect the population with an illness that causes so many deaths yearly?

the microchip is just making my head spin stop.

lowdown’s don’t work, yeah because there’s always a few fuckers that don’t follow the rules.

i can feel every brain cell i have turning to baby food with each slide why must you torture me.

everything a man has to say about abortion is so easily dismissed if you talked to literally any pro-choice person ever.

24 week old baby. brain isn’t fully developed yet. nor are their lungs. their inner ear is just now fully developed. 65-70% survival rate. literally no person says that the fetus isn’t ‘human’ what kind of crack does he smoke?

it’s a human. at some point it’s developed enough to be called a baby. but it’s not it’s own person, it’s codepended on the birthing parent. it cannot live on its own.

i do appreciate they always include ‘disturbing’ pictures of fetuses. yeah it’s gross to look at a barely developed creature. who woulda thought.

it is, and never was about children. or saving lives. they aren’t protesting at frozen eggs being thrown out and the lives ‘wasted’. they aren’t adopting any of the children that are born and then given up after forcing women to go through birth. they don’t care about the lives of women lost from self performed abortions.

my favorite videos are the people arguing with the hecklers outside of planned parenthood—asking them what they do for the children in foster care. do you foster children? no? hm. do you donate anything to children in need? no? huh. do you volunteer your time to help children abandoned find their place in the world someone forced them into? no? oh. what are you doing to change the strict rules and expenses it takes to adopt a child, keeping many children in the system when there are families unable to provide the thousands of dollars it takes to go through the adoption route? nothing? funny. but you have all the time in the world to stand outside and terrorize people making one of the scariest and hardest decisions of their life. right.

it’s nothing but their need to control women’s bodies, and push their religious fear mongering.

[jean----ralphio]

IT’S BoB LIVEBLOG TIME

Episode 1 is under the cut!

Warning, I swear a lot... and am very in love with RSJ so a lot of this was just me pointing at the screen and screaming RICH and then remembering you can’t see me so writing it down...

Episode 1: Curahee! Curaahhee? Curraahhee? I can’t spell so I’m renaming it Ross is a punk bitch

Buckle up my babies, this will be a carcrash!

00:01 Here we fucking go aw yis

00:11 Aw who’s this? I wish they named the gentlemen at the start of the episodes, I wanna know who is who :s

00:25 Shifty, is that you my angel son?

00:41 OMG you guys… these men are breaking my heart </3

01:06 Lord, men were committing suicide because they couldn’t go to fight? That mentality… man. Oh my God, you angels. Babies.

01:36 No jokes allowed, every man is <3

01:40 Now that I’m humbled and we’re all well and truly miserable…the credits, ugh, my heart. The score is amaziiiing. Some of the footage is actual war-time footage, I read, which is a brilliant touch.

02:01 DICK <3

02:13 DICK’S HUSBAND <3

02:18 RSJ’S NAAAAAME

02:27 JFC this music makes me so emotional. Look there’s Matthew Settle’s face. That makes me emotional too

02:48 Ah it’s Roe <3

03:48 I’m trying to pick them all out in the line-up but I can’t tell who is who. Are we supposed to be able to? There’s a short one in the middle, is that Harry?

03:49 I’m not drunk enough to handle this

04:10 Upottery? Ah it’s so English I love it. That’s not a name! Wtf is up with English place-names, you guys have the weirdest names. Upottery? Seriously? Is it only potters that live there? I’m so confused

04:22 Close up of Roe! Perfect. I approve.

04:32 Is that the guy from Line of Duty? I think it is

04:39 Lip <3

04:44 Ew. GTFO Cobb. He doesn’t even go here

04:47 IS THAT RICH? RICH. ILY. ILY RICH. Please note that 94% of this will be a Rich-watch

04:53 Lieb stop. I am sure you are not a certified hairdresser

04:56 RICH. SMOKING. SMOKING RICH. More like smoking hot do you see what I did there?

05:20 I can categorically say that I love Joe Toye. I do. I love him. But every time I see Kirk Acevedo, all I think of is Charlie my baby from Fringe (awesome show, please watch it). And I just. Charlieee <3

05:39 Aw. They’re so sad

05:55 They’re so despondent. Guys. It’s fine

06:05 Fassy?? FASSY!!

06:18 God Damien is pretty

06:25 Nix that’s not how you flirt

06:57 Lol at Dick noting its happy hour. Thinking about taking Nix on a date, are we? I bet you are. Now THAT is how you flirt!

07:24 OMG the fucking flirting! GUYS. “And give up all this?” NIX SAYS AS HE CHECKS HIM OUT

07:37 Yeah, Nix, you’ll take him ‘to Chicago’ huh? Is that what they call it nowadays.

07:44 Do you want to be that cigarette? ‘Cos there is nothing heterosexual about that lingering look, Dick

08:18 ‘Murica time

08:25 Ross, fuck off. Nice jacket though. “You PEOPLE are at the position of attention” ugh GTFO. Dick’s sideye tho lol

08:52 NGL Ross does a great job at being super unlikeable

09:05 Noooo you don’t want it with Johnny Martin. You wont win. Yeah, walk away Ross

09:15 Careful around Lip too, or Speirs will materialize out of thin air and snap your neck

09:33 RICH. Don’t be scared of that douchebag, baby

09:43 What kind of question is that, there is nothing Lieb wants more!

09:50 It’s weird hearing Ross swear tho

10:26 Don’t argue with Johnny, baby. Also Roe OMG <3 Shane is freaking fit

10:43 Wow Lip is ripped

10:48 Oh no, poor baby. Lip leave him be ☹ </3

11:10 LOL I just noticed the drum by the door. It says ‘butts’ and it took me a seconds to realise it was for cigarettes. I am an adult (31-year-old married woman). I’ll laugh at the word butts if I want.

11:11 RICH

11:18 Lieb omg lol

11:39 RICH BABY NO! FUCK OFF ROSS! LEAVE HIM ALONE OR I WILL HAVE SPEIRS CUT YOU

11:52 I can’t take Ross seriously in those shorts. Hi-ho GTFO

12:07 Ew fuck off running up that, I’d just nope out like nah babe imma go chill with that sweet baby back in the butts cabin

12:18 Aw Dick <3 The juxtaposition of Dick as a leader compared to Sobel who sure he might be honing them into something formidable and skilled but he’s an asshole. He’s not a leader. He’s a bullying, abusive scumbag. Dick is an actual leader who protects them and supports them and encourages them and IHAVEALOTOFFEELINGSOK

12:43 You don’t deserve that sick jacket, Ross. Seriously. That is a boss jacket, I want it

13:04 Have they not stopped fucking working out all this time? Ugh

13:23 Oh good, Dick gets a boss jacket too. He deserves it.

13:30 I wish people had to ask me for permission to speak.

13:53 I just. He. I can’t with Dick Winters, you guys. I cannot. I have lost the ability to can. Like they’re so upset and tired and low and just with that little joke he boosts their morale back up from where Sobel fucking beat it down into the mud and makes everything lighter and they laugh and are less tense and I just. Fucking love you, Dick.

14:00 Is that my angel son? I see you Shifty, love you baby

14:03 RICH. DON’T TOUCH MY RICH.

14:07 Oh my God, address them yourself you weirdo, Ross. They’re right there, you’re right there! I had a colleague that used to do the same, would get me to speak to my employees for her when they were right there in front of her like… ‘can you tell x to do y for me pls…’ … I was like wtf you know you CAN talk to them… you won’t catch poor just by speaking to people lower down the pecking order

14:22 Fassy! Wtf they’re not supposed to drink? Dehydration is legit one of the most dangerous things, how tf can you turn them into high-key supersoldiers if they’re dehydrated? How is this man so dumb? The guy in front of Fassy tho omg. I bet Fassy’s boss wife Alicia Vikander won’t like her husband being treated that way… she’s so badass tho right?

14:26 He’s so dramatic! Ugh

15:11 Piss off omg

15:24 oh my DVD flipped its shit here, only picked back up at 16:30 don’t @ me

16:52 RICH WHAT ARE THEY DOING TO YOU RICH

17:21 Shifty my angel son

17:46 so sweet

18:04 Sink, babe, no he is the worst, stop

18:20 LOL no, he’s jel as fuck babe

18:32 NO FUN ALLOWED. Im sorry, that tie is so ugly

18:44 Simon Pegg??!!

18:51 Ross is so dramatic God shut up. it’s not a conspiracy, weirdo

19:10 “It’s a can of peaces, sir.” Iconic.

19:11 Dick’s tiny smile is equally iconic.

19:17 SHUT UP ROSS

19:44 He wants to be punched, I think, like he’s goading them. The sick fuck.

20:47 DON’T TRUST HIM, DICK!

21:02 ROE <3

21:31 Hoobler, aw <3

21:37 I warned you not to trust him, boys

21:54 Ah boys, oh no

22:04 RICH. Kick him, baby

22:17 Bull, punch him, seriously

22:24 Oh Luz <3

22:26 Yeah GTFO, suck it, bitch

23:06 Who is this? Fella’s hot

23:40 RICH. FASSY. WEB. TAB.

24:19 Suck it, Ross

24:30 Real footage?

24:41 Lol you suck Ross

25:23 RICH. SMOKING RICH.

25:26 Bill omg

25:45 Perco, baby, no. don’t talk to Johnny Martin. Don’t look at Johnny Martin. Don’t so much as think about Johnny Martin. He will fuck you up with his gaze alone, baby

25:56 Ah Luz

26:06 OK. That’s hot. Joe/Charlie don’t be hot. It confuses me

26:42 Winnix being husbands in the corner

27:42 YOU’RE in the wrong position, dumbass, it’s no one else’s fault

27:46 Dick’s come to save the day

27:56 Ross knows nothing omg

28:05 RICH. Even my Rich is confused, Ross, you dweeb

28:20 Lol at Dick dropping down ready for a fight

28:36 Fassy isn’t happy. That means Alicia Vikander is coming for you. Joe/Charlie is definitely not happy. Lip is upset. Think about your life, Ross, think about your choices. You know you’ve failed when Roe is judging you

28:57 Nix is like lol where tf is the alcohol tho

28:59 Harry! Harry is here! But yes, baby, you’re interrupting the husband’s foreplay, leave immediately

30:00 Lol at the Nix vs Ross staredown. Nix won

30:17 RICH. GUYS IT’S RICH

30:33 Do it, Lieb. Drop the grenade. Just don’t upset my angel son Shifty

30:40 He is a literal angel. Don’t corrupt him Lieb

30:59 Nix is having another crack at flirting. “Going my way” so suave omg. Omg stop. No wait don’t

31:09 “I’m not the intelligence officer.” Neither is Nix half the time babe let’s be fair

31:14 “If I told you I’d have to kill you.” Nix is getting better at flirting! He’s been attending flirting 101 classes it seems

31:40 They’re legit such husbands prove me wrong

32:00 He’s not joking, Dick

32:06 Harry’s like oh yay yes please

32:11 Lol Nix

33:03 Ugh. Men. I feel like that hold smells so bad.

33:09 RICH. Naw, Rich is sad he’s missing out on the flamingos.

33:32 Joe/Charlie you deserve a day to commemorate you tbh. I love you.

33:46 “My brother’s in North Africa, he says it’s hot.” Bill is iconic.

34:34 Lieb, honey, don’t, please

34:49 I feel you, random hot guy. Tipper?

35:05 Eyyy this place is nice, let’s all move there.

35:17 Shifty, my angel son, my baby <3

35:26 Yay, Harry gets a boss jacket too!

36:22 Mum and Dad of Easy. I’m low-key living for Lip’s little worried faces.

36:33 THAT JACKET IS SICK AS FUCK I WANT 20

36:38 The fence is there, Ross, because you’re so fucking dumb

36:51 Guys, look, cows

37:06 He’s fucking useless. Hi Simon Pegg.

37:22 RICH

37:25 This whole scene gives me life and waters my crop

37:31 RICH <3. YOU GUYS. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. RICH RICH RICCCCHHHH

37:42 Poor Tip is so done

37:58 Simon Pegg is so confused

38:04 Good job, Tipper, I’m proud of you and your pretty face

38:10 Iconic

38:15 Keep it together Tip

38:54 The hand signals, no, I’d be like BABY. WHAT. I CAN’T UNDERSTAND YOU WTF. I’d last like a millisecond in the military lmao. Does my country even have one? Tbh probably not. Us Kiwis are too chill, cbf’ed with anything. Too busy watching rugby, drinking, and sulking that we can’t afford houses cos our housing market is fucked. But at least we beat Covid *shrugs*

39:06 ILY, old guy. You are the best thing in this episode, aside from Rich

39:22 But wait, there’s more weird Americans hopping out yo’ bushes

39:26 “Bloody hell!” Mood

39:47 “You’ve done it now, yanks, you’ve captured me!” He is such a mood. I love him.

39:54 FUCK OFF ROSS. “Would that be the enemy?” “As a matter of fact, yes.” DICK IS SO VALID I LOVE HIM THIS IS ICONIC.

40:25 Be free, moo-cows

40:40 LAMO GET WRECKED

41:00 Guys imma be straight with you. I’m on my third whiskey lmao.

41:10 Simon Pegg, please refrain from being a douchebag. Leave Dick and his husband to flirt in peace.

41:23 I love how Nix is like instantly suspicious. He knows.

41:39 Worried husband

41:45 “Misspelled court-marital.” Iconic

42:14 Ross, why you lying? So threatened and jel that you gotta lie omg.

42:50 God Damien is freaking hot. Guys.

42:57 Punk bitch Ross.

43:22 Dick is so BDE. It’s fucking hot.

43:30 Ross is shooketh tbh. Punk bitch.

43:36 AH! IT IS HIM! THE GUY FROM LINE OF DUTY S5!

43:50 That underbite must have hurt FJH a lot omg so committed.

44:02 Hey Lip <3

44:09 Johnny Martin has absolute BDE

44:22 God they’re willing to be killed just to not follow Ross. Same tbh.

44:57 This whole scene is BDE.

46:00 But Sink has the most BDE let’s be honest

46:44 The respect for Dick. Even after what they just went through. I AM EMOTIONAL.

46:58 He’s so worried like omg what have my troublesome sons done now

47:09 ROSS WHY YOU ALWAYS LYING??

48:09 Weak

48:24 Yeah, fuck off back to ‘Murica

48:34 Legit, can we acknowledge Ross did a great job (the actor). Really really well done, one of the best performances on the series tbh.

49:48 LMAO GET WRECKED PUNK BITCH

50:06 Dick just wanders about a lot on his own, huh?

50:50 What? What? I understand nothing of what the cockney guy is saying.

50:55 Me too, Hoob, the fuck.

51:00 RICH I SAW YOU

52:19 “Never put yourself in a position where you can take from these men.” Don’t omg I can’t, Dick, I’m weak, I can’t deal with these fucking feelings.

52:36 DAFUQ

52:40 OHHHH I get it. Right. Dick, you’re so smart. It’s a little sad they have to do all that just to get some answers and guidance but tbh it’s probably fair? Gotta be top secret so punk bitches like Ross can’t screw things up.

53:30 Hey Nix. Speak French to me any day.

53:48 Unf.

54:08 LMAO Lieb, how many cigarettes do you need!

54:10 NGL I paused here for a little while.

55:05 We could ALL use some brass knuckles, Joe/Charlie. Mood.

55:25 LOL Lieb is so nosy.

56:15 Oh no

57:00 Luz LMAO

57:10 Oh babies

57:13 Bill LMAO that’s not ice cream, yuck it looks like soup

57:28 God. All that effort. Not just logistically but emotionally, mentally, psychologically, to prepare, just to have it put off. Fuck.

57:38 That movie again. Poor boys.

57:47 That’s actually a really smart move, Johnny.

58:41 Oh no. I would lose it completely. Oh Bill </3

59:11 Naw, Dick dawdling around again

59:49 RICH I SEE YOU

1:00:08 AAAHHHH IT’S TOO CONFRONTING DON’T

1:00:48 NOOO I CAN’T aw Bill

1:01:09 Naww

1:01:16 RIIIIICH

1:01:20 It’s like they’re kiddies on a field trip and Dick is the teacher wrangling them lol

1:01:47 Lol their crap is so heavy Dick has to help pull them up. That’s actually really sweet.

1:01:51 I wish I could hold Rich’s hand

1:02:08 Oh God. I can’t. Like he’s helping them up BUT IT’S ALSO HIS WAY OF SAYING GOOD LUCK AND GOODBYE AND HAVING LIKE A MOMENT TO CONNECT WITH EACH OF THEM I CAN’T LIKE THE EYE CONTACT NO DICK STOP

1:02:19 LMAO at them having to shove each other into the plane

1:02:23 That look between him and Roe. Ugh. Like. You two gotta take care of your boys together. Brotp

1:03:22 Can someone explain the block on that guy’s helmet to me?

1:03:55 I’m sad. And scared. This series is so confronting. I’ve watched in annually since I was like 16 and I’m still so nervous for them.

1:05:37 Rich, I see you! I recognized his chin lmao

1:06:16 God, Dick be careful

1:10:00 This show. The feels. Every time.

[basil223]

Queer Girl Rambles pt.1

(If you don’t like long stories that could be said in only a few sentences, skip this. It’s a winding road, so either get in the car and drive with me, or skip the party)

I’m a recently self accepted Queer person. I realized I was a homosexual a little over a year ago and it took a bit for me to be comfy with that. And then I decided I’d download the Her app. It was beginning of lockdown (although if you had asked me then I would have said it was mid lockdown, so I guess this qualifier doesn’t really matter), and I, as a socially out, but familial closeted person decided that talking to women on a dating app might give me a chance to spread my little gay wings.

It took about 20 minutes but a girl, let’s call her Hannah, messaged me. She was funny and actually held a conversation, and Hannah made it very very clear that she thought I was beautiful and that had COVID not been a thing, she would have asked me on a date.

I was shocked, delighted, and baffled. A woman? Liked me? I had never felt desirable before then. No one had ever actively pursued my attention before ~at least, in a respectful way~I was excited.

But here’s some things you’ve got to know. I am a college student. I am a college student who struggles with school. I am a college student who struggles with anxiety. I am a college student who’s main goal is to graduate with possible grades and this is her one try main focus. And most importantly I am a college student who is trying their best.

Sounds normal right?

I get busy, everyone does. Over the next week, Hannah and I seemed to be playing phone tag. One of us would respond, and then along while later the other would. Eventually we exchanged Snapchat’s.

Ok. More backstory...at the time I was taking summer classes, which is essentially a 3 month course jammed into a 4-6 week period. I was taking not only Physicsand Physics lab, but I was also taking Calculas. A class I had failed, in a normal term, twice already. My strengths are not in math or science but I had to take these to keep my graduation date from pushing back. For MANY reasons, it was one of the most anxiety ridden summers I’d ever had. But I handled myself. I’d gone to therapy a few years before, and I had some therapist sanctioned coping mechanisms, and some self taught ones. For example. Spoons. You have 20 spoons a day and you can spend them on whatever you like. Some tasks take more spoons than others, but you only get 20. So use them well. At the time, school was about 15 spoons. Staying closeted during a pandemic and social movements in a southern conservative home took up 4. Which left me about one spoon to spend. Most days this was spent laying on the floor with my puppies or attempting to keep in contact with my ride or die friends. Because that’s one of my self taught coping mechanisms, which may not be healthy or not. But when I reach my capacity, I shut out the world. I cannot respond to texts or calls or, anything. And at this point in my life, my friends understand that. If they don’t hear back from me, I don’t HAVE to worry about upsetting them( I mean I still worry but as I said. Anxiety). At the very least I can just text them spoons and they get it. I try to respond as fast as possible but sometimes things get pushed back a few days.

Anyway, back to the story. We had been snap chatting a bit, at least everyday, but it wasn’t the same. I began to notice that Hannah never seemed to talk about herself. I’d ask her questions about herself but I’d get very little information. And she’d quickly turn the convo back to me. And let me tell you. There is only so much of talking about my own life that I can do. I tried using convorsation starters or asking her opinions on things I had never experience but she had, and...still she gave little information and turned it back to me. It was frustrating, but I accepted it. Maybe she wasn’t as good a conversationalist as I first thought. And another thing I noticed was that she never seemed to be able to chat with me first. I was the one who had to initiate it first. One day I decided that I wasn’t going to message first. A few hours go by and I see on her story that she posted a meme about people not texting people. It seemed weird but I thought, no can’t be about me. The next week I tried it again. The meme was way more pointed and most could argue passive aggressive. I called her out on it, and told her if she wanted to talk to me, she didn’t have to wait for me to do it. She agreed said she’d do that. ~stage whispers~ she didn’t.

These passive aggressive story posts would continue for,gosh a half a year now. If I didn’t text her for a stretch there would be a post on her story about it. It got to a point where I wouldn’t open her stories or even Snapchat at all.

In December I got an internship, which is essentially a full time job and it’s expected I take night classes to accommodate this (it’s part of my major so it sounds crazy but I swear it’s normal). I was anxious and it’s been a huge learning curve. Throughout this time, I would off and on respond to her texts, I’d tell her how the internship was going all that jaz. But there would be days where my spoons we spent and most defiantly not on her. Her call out posts increased. My anxiety got real bad and her posts only made things worse. So eventually her messages sat in my inbox, unread, for 3 weeks. I contemplated never opening them. But I felt bad. I opened them and reexplained why I couldn’t answer in a timely mannor, apologized for the unintentional ghosting, and made it very clear that if she wished to continue texting me, that I couldn’t promis a prompt response. She said “don’t worry about it. I get it. Just remember to text me when you’ve got time!”

Last week J hit, and while Im still not comfy with what was going on in my job and life, I was mentally able to make a rare Snapchat story about getting to pick music at work.

I still didn’t have a lot of spoons to answer her, so her comment on my story sat untouched in my inbox till tonight.

Tonight I found the courage to leave a groupme of people I am no longer friends with. And I opened Snapchat to leave our Snapchat groupchat, when I began to think about Hannah. Because there on her story was another call out post. I had just left groupchat a of toxic people and yet here I was clinging to a girl who made me feel so bad about spending my spoons. Who could not, for whatever reason, have an adult behavior about her feelings and what she wanted and needed out of our “friendship”. I decided I’d remove and block her. I don’t need this in my life.

But her unopened messages were still there. I opened them. There on my screen was Hannah’s response to my week old Snapchat about picking music. The gist of the message? “Looks like your not to busy to post on Snapchat”

All my guilt and remorse flew out the window, and Hannah was immediately blocked from my life.

Why did I wait this long to boot her out? I think it’s because she was the first, and so far the only woman to show interest in me. And I was scared that by blocking her, I was giving up my proof of gayness. Her interest made me feel more valid in my identity.

But that’s the thing. My identity is MINE. And it took my first year of Gay to understand what that meant. I am queer. And that is not dependent on if someone of my sex finding me attractive. That is not dependent of somone giving me attention. I will not be giving others the power to hold my identity hostage anymore

[sotheywrotestories]

Disease

This fic is NOT related to Covid-19 or self isolation

Request: Lokixreader, reader is sick or injured from a mission. @dreams-of-feysand

Pairings: Loki x Reader

Warnings: Sickness, quarantine (not Covid related), language

Word Count: 1,599 words (she thicc)

This fic was started before the Covid-19 outbreak and is in no way related to current events. If such events are too triggering or make you uncomfortable, please scroll ahead. Any sickness related material will be placed under a cut. 

Take care of yourself and check up on your friends, love you all

                                                            ***

(Y/N) was careful about missions. Always. And if she wasn’t, Loki was. He watched her back when he knew he should really be worrying about himself, but he couldn’t help it, she was so fragile, in his mind, he never wanted anything to happen to her.

But he would never let anyone know what his true feelings to her were. He treated her as though she was just another Midgardian scum and that he was far above her in every way possible.

He knew he could get away with treating her like shit at the compound because that’s how he treated everyone and if he treated her even slightly differently, people would question him. It’s just easier to treat her the same as everyone else.

On the field was different. He looked like he was just concerned about her well being because she is his teammate, it doesn’t look like it has anything to do with his real, true, and raw feelings for her.

He never expected a large enemy inside the compound. Not even a physical enemy. He’s beyond prepared to fight any intruder that dared to threaten the well being of anyone in the compound, especially (Y/N).

He was not, however, prepared when the entire wing (Y/N)’s room was tucked into was put under quarantine. It happened in the night.

Loki vaguely remembered hearing loud noises late at night, but it being a hallway away, he didn’t have a care. It was the next morning, when the hallway had a plastic tarp over it, a giant yellow biohazard warning on the zip door.

“What…,” Loki pointed half-heartedly at the impromptu wall.

“(Y/N) contracted some weird disease on the last mission, we had to put her under quarantine,” Tony sipped on his coffee. “We don’t know how it’s transmitted so we’re taking every precaution.”

“Is she okay?” Loki asks.

“It just looks like a common cold right now, but none of her tests are coming back with anything we know,” Bruce said. “We are just treating it like a common cold, but I suppose we’ll see as time goes on.”

“Well,” Loki swallowed the lump in his throat. “She was foolish enough to get sick.”

                                                          ***

Loki wasn’t concerned about catching this mystery disease. He’s a god. Certainly, some disease a Midgardian had couldn’t do anything.

He was worried about (Y/N) not doing well because of the disease. It slightly scared him that she had to be placed behind a sheet of plastic just because Tony and Bruce didn’t know what it was she had come down with.

But if it was just an alien cold? Even if it was just a cold would her mortal body be able to handle it?

So Loki poured himself into looking up every illness there was across the nine realms. Her symptoms developed rapidly from a runny nose to a headache and a stomach ache in between. Which helped Loki all of none, being since early every sickness had the same symptoms as any Midgardian cold.

“Brother,” Thor boomed. “I have returned from Asgard with the books you requested. I do not, however, understand your need for these books, they appear only be about sickness.”

“Yes, you buffoon, I’m being useful for once and seeing if I can try and figure out what illness plagues Lady (Y/N),” Loki snarled.

“She is the one you love,” Thor nodded.

“Excuse me?” Loki snapped his head up. “What did you say?”

“Oh, come now, Loki,” Thor tossed his hand to the side. “Anyone with two eyes can see how infatuated you are with Lady (Y/N).”

“…they can?” Loki paled. 
 Thor laughed, slapping a hand on Loki’s shoulder and leaving the library.

“You are not nearly as subtle as you think you are.”

                                                            ***

“I wish to see (Y/N),” Loki said, standing at the zipper door of the plastic hallway.

“No can do, reindeer games. She’s sick we can’t risk exposure,” Tony said absentmindedly.

“I cannot get sick.”
 “It’s not about you, Loki,” Bruce peered over his glasses. “It’s about whatever it is living on you and then finding its way out here.”

“I think I know what it is,” Loki finally turned to the science pair, glancing at Natasha tucked in the corner. “If I can be in the room with her, I can get a more accurate reading and perhaps rid her of this disease.”

Natasha laughed and sat a little straighter in her padded chair.

“Well, she doesn’t want to see you,” Natasha said. “She doesn’t want anyone to see her as sick as she is.”

“It bothers me not.”

Bruce sighed, taking off his glasses and rubbing the bridge of his nose.

“Well, okay. If you’re so confident. But we’ll have to hose you down after and you’ll have to take every precaution.”

                                                            ***

Loki waddled his way into (Y/N)’s room in a big, yellow hazmat suit.

“I’m here to help,” he smiled slightly.

“Lokes,” (Y/N) smiled, her eyes tired. “What’re you doing here.”

“I just said, I’m here to help.”

Loki maneuvered a chair to sit next to her bed and awkwardly sat in the giant plastic bag.

“I don’t think you can help with this one.”

And the look of her did deter Loki just a bit. Her hair was a little less vibrant and her eyes dulled to what they used to be. And she looked weak. Like her body was fighting something she just couldn’t handle.

“It’s alien.”

“Yes.”

Loki nodded. “You know this.”

“I know that we don’t know what it is, so ergo, yes, I know it’s alien.”

They were silent.

“What if I used magic to fix it,” Loki suggested.

“We cannot use your magic as a catch-all for every problem we face.”

“What if this problem can only be solved with magic?”

(Y/N) squinted at Loki.

“How much research have you put into this, Loki?” (Y/N) asked.

“Enough to know that there is no solution here on Midgard, or, if we ever found one it would be far past hat your body could handle.”

(Y/N) heaved a sigh and lied back in her bed. Her eyes fluttered shut.

“I don’t want to have to depend on your magic to get better.”

Loki bit his lip, debating whether or not this was the right time to confess his true feelings for the girl.

“(Y/N),” he cleared his throat. She turned her head. “I care far too much for you for you to deny what I can do to help you get over this mystery sickness.”

(Y/N) met his gaze one more time.

“Loki I need you to be so sure of this that I’m not going to get hurt, that no one else can possibly get sick from whatever it is you plan on doing.”

Loki nodded. “I can promise, (Y/N). Whether or not Ic are about the rest of the team, I would never do anything to endanger anyone you care about.”

                                                          ***

Tony and Bruce joined the pair in their own hazmat suits, insisting they be present when Loki did whatever it was he thought could help (Y/N) get better.

“So what’s the plan here,” Tony plopped into a plastic chair.

“The plan,” Loki rolled his eyes, “is to use Seidr to move the virus from her body.”

“Where will it go?” Banner took notes on is StarkPad.

“Where would it be safest for it to go? Where can you send it, Lokes?” (Y/N) rasped from the bed.

“I can send it back to the planet it came from.”

“Do that,” Tony waved his hand, clearly done with the conversation that he started.

Loki nodded and looked back down at (Y/N), making sure she was ready for whatever it was he was about to do. He carefully removed the gloves from the suit and looked into her eyes.

“I believe in you, Lokes,” she sighed.

Oh, good, Loki thought. So if I mess up, that’s that, then.

Loki carefully grabbed her hands and focused his Seidr into taking all foreign substances from her body and sending them back to where they came from originally.

“You’re sure you don’t want any of this? For study?” He asked, his own eyes closing.

“No, we have what we need, we don’t want more of this around than necessary.”

It was a process all of fifteen minutes. By the end of it, (Y/N) already looked five times better.

“I feel so much better,” her body melted into the bed.

“You look better, Kid,” Tony stood up, smiling.

“All vitals are at a stable place.,” Bruce reported. “She’s virtually recovered.”

“Oh, good,” Loki ripped the mask off his suit, already tired of being confined to one bubble of plastic. “Now, you will feel like you just have a cold, so.”

Loki materialized a bowl of soup and a packet of tissues.

“I’m gonna leave, now,” Tony said, ripped the plastic off the walls. “You two…do what you do…Bruce? Wanna…get out of here.”

Bruce nodded, still tapping away at his pad and making casual observations.

“Soup?” (Y/N) laughed, her cheeks feeling hot.

“Is that not right?” Loki tore the rest of his suit off. “Wanda told me it can make mortals feel better.”

“Yeah, I mean, definitely just…wasn’t expecting you…to bring this, I guess.”

“I already told you, silly girl,” Loki rolled his eyes. “I care about you far more than I let on.”

"Well, (Y/N) took a slurp of soup. “I care about you, too.”

Though the sickness was scary, Loki couldn’t be more thankful for an opportunity to baby the one Midgardian he could more than tolerate.

Tags:

Permanent:

 @im-not-an-egirl-im-baby​ @ima-fucking-nerd​​  @embrace-themagic @fireboltrose5737@whatdafricklefrackle@peeterparkr @sherlokiantheatrenerd @legit-fandom-trash�� @abitchformarvel​​​ @dark-night-sky-99​​​ @dreams-of-feysand​

[mageofcolors]

reasons i hate my job:

1. a job in sales is super manipulative of the customers just so you can get some money. ive seen people straight up encourage abusive behavior in order to make a sale

2. typical shift is 11 hours long

3. we have 4 people working in our store but only two tablets. so even if we have 3 people working at a time, not all 3 of us can hepp customers at once

4. schedules are made super last minute, and sometimes i have tp remind the manager to give us the schedule

5. at least one of my 2 days off in a week my manager will ask me to come in anyway

6. manager is irresponsible tbh. i asked her one favor once and she didnt do it and bc of that im not getting the money for my sale

7. manager once went to wisconsin dells and swam in a pool DURING THE PANDEMIC and then didnt take the time to quarantine after. the district manager knew this and didnt do anything to stop it. when i encouraged all my coworkers to get tested after she came back and the store ended up getting closed for 2 weeks, the district manager called it us "wanting to take a 2 week vacation" instead of a safety precaution we had to take because HE AND THE MANAGER didnt take the proper precautions first.

8. our company is two companies that just merged and there are so many errors in the systems ALL THE TIME

9. i just got a 3/10 review from a customer bc i was coughing the whole time, even though i explained to the customer that it's not covid and it's not contageous. this was also my very first review so that's great /s

10. half of the customer service and sales support people we need to call practically every day dont know what theyre doing

11. since the merger they took away our stools and now we have to stand for 10 hours in a day

12. our air conditioning is broken right now and i am overheating

13. they sometimes supply us with water, but usually not. so i have to bring enough water from home to last me 11 hours

14. none of my coworkers voted and im pretty sure theyd vote for trump anyway

15. one coworker is just. super annoying in everything he does. i cannot stand close to him without being uncomfortable

16. oh yeah we cant even stand 6 feet apart when we do our jobs

17. i got written up once because i was in charge during a couple days but the mistakes weren't even made by me

18. my first manager literally believed in stupid questions and it got to the point that i was scared to ask him anything

19. it took 4 months for me to become commissionable for some reason (that being them refusing to teach me), while everyone else becomes commissionable after a week

20. when stores in this company were closed bc someone was tested positive for covid (which happened multiple times), then closed it for one day and had it deep cleaned, then the next day they forced people from other stores to work overtime at that store, instead of just letting the store be closed temporarily

21. when the stores were closed during the quarantine at first, people had to use their paid time off in order to get paid at all

22. my coworkers would put insurance on people's devices without even asking them, which charges them an extra $15 a month

23. everyone here is cishet and i'm just. really uncomfortable talking about anything i like or do bc cant relate

24. one of my coworker doesnt do shit outside of selling. he literally tells me im better at it and leaves it at that. he doesnt even TRY

25. almost every single customer asks me about my cough and i am EXHAUSTED

26. my manager dumps a lot of her work on me and instead of taking the time to work on it herself, half the time she's just talking to people on the phone and getting distracted

27. one time my manager went on her lunch break (we get one hour) and then came back to the store 1 1/2 hours later, and then went to the back room to eat. i'm like??? did you not have time to eat in that 1 1/2 hours???? you know what she said? "oh i was shopping"

28. ive told every one of my coworkers my pronouns. none of them use them. they dont even notice when i try to correct them

29. my manager also randomly deadnames me. like you didnt call the other guy his legal name??? you called him by his preferred name completely fine when he's not even trans??? but this enby you gotta "forget" to call by their chosen name, even though that's all anybody else calls me??? actually, my district manager calls me by my legal name sometimes too thats probs where she got it, but he knows my preferred name too so fuck them

30. when i finally got my log in information to sell things, they misspelled my last name. i had to get it corrected. this prevented me from being able to sell things for a longer time. when the companies officially merged and i got new logins??? they fucking did it again

31. when they gave me my name tag it had my deadname on it so i asked them if i could get one with my preferred name on it. district manager said he'll order one. it's been over a month.

32. two of my coworkers smoke and then i have to stand next to them when they come back in and smell the fucking smoke. im sorry im trying to breatheover here

33. we have to say this long-ass intro when answering the phone and it's so awkward and annoying

thats all i got for now

[selfcareparker]

(lovely anon) ok so this may sound so dramatic but; let me paint you a picture: i’m responding to your latest message, sitting on the edge of the sofa. i type in “lovely anon” into the search and see this longgg post come up and i’m like uhhh... i scroll down and see the people you tagged and literally. when i saw @ lovely anon. i . cried . like full on tears. my brother goes “what are you doing” “she tagged meeeee” and he continued what he was doing and didn’t care LMAOO but i was so emotional? i love and appreciate you too and aAH IM CRYING!! you’re just really sweet and i didn’t expect it at all and it was really lovely to be a part of something :’)

the kermit pic sent meee but yes yes yes!! when you start uni let me know, lol i’m so excited for you!! let me know how it goes cuz i’m literally hype hahah & yes we will be in our sad corners of the world, missing england but you’re right it’ll be sooooo worth it in the end!!! and oH i’m glad you talk to them lol i truly thought you like haven’t seen them/haven’t spoken to them this whole time😭 that would’ve been awful!

also i totallyyy get what your saying about the english speaking thing. and idk why you’re insecure (well i *knowww* bc it’s not your first language and you’re studying it in college so yuh) but your english is great :)))

lol yeah that makes sense.. my mom took french in college and she remembers NOTHING HDJSHSJ (the fact that you wanna learn MORE languages i- ahh i so admire you.. you literally know so many languages🥺) yea i mean you know a bunch of languages bc you know the base of words lol, but i wonder if because you know latin it’ll be easier for you to learn french? oh- oh wait you said it’ll be easier HAHHAHA

THERES SO MUCH EXCITING STUFF TO TALK ABOUT HDGSJSJSL it’s so wild to me that you can’t watch chaos walking :( i’m a professional hacker tho so i’ll try and find a way for you LMAO (by professional hacker i mean i literally have gotten multiple free trials and i’m pretty sure the hulu police are after me bUT ITS THEIR FAULT BC WHY IS IT SO EXPENSIVE???) i mean the movie was good? and cute? and funny? but yea don’t think it’s gonna be the most fantastic thing haha AND THE DOGGO AWWW (i saw it again today- or my today lol, saturday, aND THESE OLD PEOPLE CAME AND SAT IN FRONT OF ME AND MY FRIEND LIKE ITS A LONG STORY LMK IF YOU WANNA HEAR IT)

SHARK FILMS?!?!! PLEASE READING THIS I HAD NO IDEA YOU WOULD LIKE SHARK MOVIES TOO FHSKSHSHDJDJGAJAYSJS ok so i haven’t seen any of the classics (i’m working on it) but i would probably watch jaws to laugh at it? not like that lmao but like comparing it. OKAY BUT HONESTLY I BARELY KNOW ANYONE WHO LIKES SHARK FILMS AHHH OKAY im adding “the shallows” to my watchlist bc it sounds super good AND SAME AHSJD ANY BODY OF WATER IN A MOVIE I JUST KNOW ITS COMING LMAO watch me not go in the water anymore after seeing that picture HHDJSJ

WHEN I READ THIS I JUST GOT DONE TALKING TO MY MOM ABOUT THE MEG AND THAT SCENE WHERE THE SHARKKK JUMPEDDDD AND ATE THE OTHER ONEEEE AND THEN JONAS HAD TO DO- bro i cannot (i think that one is my favorite because i love me a bit of romance and the subtle romance hAD ME) 47 meters down PHEW could you imagine?? i try not to think too hard about it i’m like “don’t be dumb catherine, don’t put yourself in a dumb situation” (not autocorrect having “dumb bitch” ready i am not lying) and i literally understand... there is no other way to explain 47 meters down

i CANNOT watch horror movies, can’t can’t can’t, i literally hate them i cannot do it!!! the thrill is tempting and it’s cool in the moment but i cant lmao. i don’t have nightmares about scary things (for the majority of the time) but going to sleep i’m like oooohhhhhh shit 🥲 literally what you explained

music !!!! music !!!! music !!!! (u ever write a word and now it looks weird lmao) MY BROTHER DOESNT LIKE MUSIC AND ITS SHIT IM LIKE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU- anyway, my music taste is all over the place i mean......... it’s crazy. earlier today i was listening to meghan trainor’s album “title” oUT OF NOWHERE, but just a few minutes ago i was listening to fall in love with me by earth wind and fire soooo lol .. megan is *chefs kiss*, i’m not familiar with stormzy🙈, harry styles.... IM SORRY IM THAT PERSON but i don’t listen to his solo music EEK i only listen to adore you... and not that frequently... the music video freaked me out... i like niall’s solo music a lot more, which i listen to a lot more. now. one direction. favorite. please & thank you. i have a playlist called “boy bands” and it consists of one direction and the vamps (obsessed with cherry blossom btw) but as you can see my taste is all over the place!! fr fr if i sent you what apple music has as my “favorites” it went from ariana grande to carrie underwood to glee (OBSESSED DONT LET ME TALK ABOUT IT) i mean please if you let me i will nonstop (hamilton HDJSH) talk about music all day😩 & NOOO UR MUSIC IS GREAT HAHSK IM NOT A BIG RAP PERSON BUT DOJA CAT IS MY FAVORITE!!

okay good, i’m glad :) i was just nervous that you did feel that way <3 and GOT IT HAHAJ healthy pressure is always good :’) my friend got me these pens cuz i love stationary and school supplies lol and was like “now you have to write something” soooo yea i feel that! and i saw you posted the ficcccccc literally so proud of you 🥺🥺 i’m trying to decide if i read it tomorrow or tonight..... sleep or a literal beautiful creation made by the sweetest person and is v v nice smut and college!peter and 4.7k...... sleep aint really calling no more.

GIRL ALL OF MY SENTENCES ARE TOO LONG HAHAHAH IN FACT THIS IS TOO LONG SOOO (also why am i 3 days late..😑) anywho it’s 1 in the morning so <33 lovely anon

🥰

oh my god the fact that you cried nearly made me cry too😭😭🥺🥺 (also, your brother LMAO), i wasn‘t even sure if you‘d see it but i immediately thought of you so of COURSE i included you <333

the hulu police lsjsjaiaik, girl i was ready to get a hulu membership when i wanted to watch big time adolescence and i couldn‘t find it anywhereee, and when i got to the payment it said i need a bank account that‘s based in the US or whatever. like bro i was about to pay you!! but i was forced to find it somewhere (and i did, on levidia,— not that i‘ve ever used it because it‘s illegal 😤 i would never!!! i‘d rather support billion dollar companies and spend my money on watching films that i can find for free 🥰🥰🥰 not

i‘ve found chaos walking online so i‘ll watch it som time this week!! also YES TELL ME THE STORY

okay so idk if you watched/are planning on watching falcon and winter soldier but i watched the first episode the other day and they were speaking french (just a few seconds) and I UNDERSTOOD SOME WORDS DLDJDJ and i was so proud of myself. i‘ve only ever learned french with duolingo lol (i only do like 5 mins a day and that‘s why i was so surprised that i understood some of it!!). and yeah apart from latin i feel like italian, german, french and english are all similar in a sense.. i mean obviously they‘re completely different languages but for example there are some grammatical constructions in french that i think i wouldn‘t understand if i only spoke english? so when i translate those things into english you can‘t directly translate them bc you say things differently, but when i translate them into german then it makes more sense to me. idk that‘s something i noticed so i feel like if you already know multiple languages it‘s easier to learn another language compared to if you only know one language and are trying to learn a second one. even if the languages aren‘t similar then i think you get the hang of it easier.

ikd slsjsjs also i don‘t want you to think that i‘m a linguistic genius or anything lmfao, like i‘m only fluent in english and german and i‘m just a wannabe (ew that word) polyglot sksj (yes i had to google polyglot— i do think learning ancient greek would be super cool tho? like imagine studying latin AND ancient greek, whew). and honestly i don‘t think i‘ll ever be fluent in another language bc i don‘t plan on living anywhere other than germany or possibly england and i‘m not dedicated enough to properly learn any other languages esp if i don‘t have anyone to speak the language with. but i still try my best and i just love language/languages as a whole so yeah i‘m happy & just learning as much as i can dkdjh🥰

(I guess language/linguistics are/is my passion (which sounds sooo lame lmaoooo) and the word passion comes from the latin word pati (i think💀) which means to suffer, and in german passion is called Leidenschaft which basically means suffering too, idk why i‘m telling you this maybe you know it already. but ok dumb fun fact, in german you can make compound words with as many words as you like, and the longest official german word is Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz which is a law for the monitoring of labels on beef... this is such a dumb fact but i think about that word like once a day idk why dodjsjsj so... 👁👄👁)

but i‘ll stop boring you with my linguistics talk because truly i don‘t know much about languages but i am interested omg i‘m gonna shut up now.

now water + sharks. (so in non-covid times i always go to croatia with my dad during the summer, and even before ever watching a shark film i was always kind of scared in water.. but after watching so many shark films wldjdj HELP Like you know when you go deeper into the ocean and you can‘t see or feel the ground/floor? anymore.. then i just start imagining sharks. like i can‘t help it i just imagine a shark sneaking up on me or feeling something graze my foot ABD I JUST START FREAKING OUT SSKJSHSJ. idk. anyway kdkdh i do love the ocean/swimming though but the older i get the more i realise how fucking scary the ocean is ( even if we’re gonna disregard sharks)

your brother... what‘s wrong with him? HOw CAN YOU NOT LIKE MUSIC LIKE WHAT THE FAWK

OKAY BUT SAME ABOUT THE ADORE YOU MUSIC VIDEO DLDKDJSJSKSLSLKSKSJSHSH and yeah i have to say harry’s style (styles lol) as a solo artist isn‘t reaaally my cup of tea, and i only like the popular songs from his second album and the first album is only good when i‘m in the right mood (haven‘t actually listened to it in a while though, but kiwi is one of my all time favourites along with only angel but i hate the start, like it takes 40 seconds to actually begin properly). i like mgk and because of him i watched the dirt which is a film about motley crue, and now one of my favourite songs ever is same ol situation and i‘m into rock now lol. +++ justin bieber. I had a justin bieber cardboard cutout thingy😭 i was the biggest Belieber on earth when i was 13-16, but i didn‘t like his last album and tbh he‘s become a bit weird lately, BUT OH MY GOD. i Listened to his new album yesterday and i‘m in LOVE with the song hold on

i really like niall‘s music toooo!!!! And doja cat 😌😌😌😌 And THE VAMPS OG MY GOD. i got to see them live bc they were the opening/support act for little mix and ajdsjskslslsjsjsj. (Also i love concerts, some of the best memories of my life are concerts, i‘ve seen nicki minaj live 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and justin twice and my heart fills every time i think about how excited i was, it was my first concert ever (16th of September 2016 😌) and i was the happiest person alive seeing justin drew fucking bieber (even if i‘m not tooo sure about justin nowadays)

i have a confession? Idk what hamilton is. I mean I‘ve heard about it and i keep googling it but i‘ve never watched it (is it even a film???? or like a proper musical? also pls tell me you grew up with high school musical. i have a few friends who didn‘t and it makes me so sad 😭😭😭 hsm is the best thing to happen to my childhood , the sooooongs— i still listen to some of them every week or month lool they make me so happy)

(Okay wait i was about to recommend some stormzy songs but you said you‘re not that into rap so i won‘t dksksjl)

What you said about my fic AHSLSLSJB (i wasn‘t sure if you sent an ask about it earlier? idk that might have been someone else, so if it was (and you‘ve read it already) i hope you liked it sksjsj i was...... unsure about it. and i have this reeaaallly long peter fic that i started writing in december and that‘s the only peter thing i currently want to write but also i can‘t because idk how to continue kddjj.) but I’m definitely getting back into writing i have a few blurbs that i want to write so 🥰🥰🥰

Oh and pls as soon as you read this let me know: violet or yellow? (it‘s just a tiny thing for my new theme slsksj)

[syncogon]

sad only 480p version this time, and delayed. oh well, temptation too strong, and clips on the weibo looked promising, so let’s go

mjy sighhh i guess he’s just dumb not malicious but man

“the truth isn’t important” glasses shing. oh wow that hair swish tho that was like unnecessarily well animated hahaha

iiiii just want jhx to tell off yy!! i think that’d be great, what a faceslap! also wtf is this thing? iron supplements?? a spray? icy-hot? 铁打损伤喷雾?? god i spent like five minutes trying to mouse-trace those characters and i still don’t know if this is supposed to be significant or if it’s just significant that jhx caught yy doing shady shit 

anyway given music / context it seems jhx is annoyed at what yy is doing? so yay friggin finally. “our classes aren’t at nanhua” nice 

“xu-da” vs “xu-ge” hmm. anyway jhx don’t fall for the lies. jhx is like sx, annoying and chuuni but probably isn’t as obnoxiously awful as he first appears... probably.... maybe. 

goddd sucks that the full version of this op is kinda weird, because i LOVE this op so much like holy crap. jiyi bei yingfu huanxing.... 

man now im like stressed about the yf at the airport scene. trailer showed an airport. what’s gonna happennn

this exchange about dd feels so weird like it sounds like ctg is trying to explain they’re not in any pre-relationship or smth but maggie is like “i don’t mind” in a way that makes it sound like she wouldn’t mind if they’re together? what??? but whatever

ok i really enjoy this cr/yf dynamic. like i feel like it’s a bit ooc and yf as portrayed here is maybe too far on the acquiescence but also it’s really funny and sparks joy for me so i’ll buy it. i’m happy to see like established relationship stuff i think bc i generally don’t in the stuff i watch. speaking of which i’m super glad that they didn’t make the awful dumb move of trying to insert like Another wack love triangle drama dynamic thing in this like the fans want yecong and tianmai!!

wowwww it’s so nice how supportive cr is being tho like i love to see it!

handholding!! soft!! nice inversion of the earlier part where cr is bandaging his fingers. but like -

WHY DOES SHE HAVE MARKS/CALLUSES ON HER THUMB AND NOT HER PINKY??? like ok i have not played ukelele but i sure have my own share of stringed instrument finger calluses and you don’t?? press on the string with your thumb???

still, they’re trying, it’s a cute detail, i appreciate it. i liked that one wwgk review i watched yesterday that pointed out s1 was like a coming of age story disguised as a music story, whereas s2 is like a real music story.... 

wait this is incredibly cute wtf. oh my god. 

YF SIGHED/FACEPALMED AT THAT? COME ON!! WTF THAT’S SO RUDE? THAT WAS ACTUALLY LIKE PRETTY GOOD?? AND SHE DID THIS JUST FOR YOU? like maybe not performance ready but bro she’s learned for two days!! also holy shit the strumming animation is really good for smth like this im impressed! that reminds me of the like actually legit violin animation they showed in the trailer yo im so ready 

like i totally understand the frustration (damn, maggie’s face... 3 free performances? really?) but also i feel SO BAD FOR CR HERE this is so awkward oh my godddd at least ctg like tries to apologize to her (and cr’s reaction to this whole thing is also v solid, good for her) but still like damn 

aww ahh man im glad maggie still like! supports encourages cr here! that’s also char dev being able to like get past her own complicated emotions at least for this sort of gesture 

awwww i also like seeing maggie’s coping, the happiness philosophy i always thought that was super interesting. she’s a great char! and i think running is good

animators animate a girl running normally challenge

oh nice you have to walk a bit after sprinting, good

the train track scenes are so pretty wahhh 

does... does the track just end there? what

the ~significance~ of maggie now sharing this piece of her that used to be a yf thing, with ctg 

also excellent bgm - oh omg it’s og soul link remix!!! 

“i don’t want you to go” 

MY GOD HE’S FINALLY MAKING A REAL MOVE. and one based in real friendship. GOD FUCKING FINALLY CTG AAAAAA she’s cryyying man this exchange is also pretty cute ngl 

i can’t believe they figured this out a full 4 episodes before the finale 

this is so pretty here wahhhhhh i wanna ss the whole thing in 1080p 

awhhhhhh

they never released pink twilight shanghai!! i want this ver!!! 

aww yayyy open still cheering her on - YF BE NICE TO YOUR GF COME ON

haha this is like reverse of cr tutoring him - WAIT YEAH YF YOU WERE A SHITTY ASS STUDENT COMPARED TO HER BE EXTRA NICE 

also remixed dream i dig it! sounds like new lyrics? 

julliard hahahaha

dong dong goddess

HAHAHA did dd just steal ctg’s fries

ctg: expressing some deep thoughts

me: just watching dd

“forever confident, forever happy” 

wait sooooooo are they a thing now or what did that count as a confession

“and qing’er is finally here” WHAT’S THE TEAAAAA WE STILL DON’T REALLY KNOW

“im a guitarist this is fine” YOU GO DD I LOVE YOU 

BEACH EPISODE BEACH EPISODE BEACH EPISODE 

omg oyzq. you’d think they were trying to extort a confession from him. what the hell is this instrument he said what is a xiao 箫. A WOODEN FLUTE? YOOO THAT’S COOL my god PLEASE let us get some kickass trad/modern fusion music im so ready 

“i trust ouyang” ahhh double char surnames are cool

HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA WHAT THE FUCK

“because i’m about to have surgery on my knee” REALLY? REALLY? IS THIS REALLY HOW YOU’RE GOING TO JUSTIFY ALL THIS? FOLKS I AM LOSING MY SHIT I HAVEN’T LAUGHED OUT LOUD LIKE THIS IN SO LONG

ok this is interesting tho he’s not a dick for the hell of it it’s out of desperation or smth. but like half a year, oh no, what a horror. (i’m fresh out of hb feels ok you shaddap // tho i can also imagine the knife, like in lotus bloom, where they didn’t think szp’s injury was permanent). tho i do also like the “then we’ll be seniors we won’t have time to perform” but also that’s just a reminder that all of these ppl are like frigging 16 year olds and i still cannot take this seriously

i like “i didn’t expect, that i couldn’t give you the confidence to win”. god im so glad this confrontation is happening. man this feels like a wrap up already are they really spending all 3 last episodes on the competition? what’s the story gonna be? 

feel like he’d be less ugly with hairstyle that looked more consistently like this. anyway sucks that both of them are so ugly otherwise there’s some nice sun/moon (+stars?) imagery you can get going here

GROUP CHAT GROUP CHAT GROUP CHAT 

pretty! i wanna save this hq

it’s this bgm!!! godd i just want this track so bad

an empty beach?? in china near shanghai??? 

anyway ahhh it’s the iconic beach shot! i like how the promo ver cuts out dd lmfao

wow nine episodes in and cookie finally gets a character moment??? cookieeeeeeee i missed you

ok i can’t ship them he calls her shifu but also THIS IS SUCH A CUTE FRIENDSHIP calling every day 10 minutes?? wow!! i love dongdong and i love cookie. also this hits different in covid times “no one says that we can’t be friends because of distance” 

oh i guess they are pushing this as a ship. meh.

wahhhhh. need this hq then i have more propic material. 

HE HAS COVID 

ah lang is VIBING oh to be the ah lang of my own life. parasurfing. walking into poles. 

wow this is so modern! the red bag thing! wow i do love this show flexing the modern-ness 

this is the mercedes benz arena im SURE of it ahhhh holy crap this crowd. oh to be in a crowd without mask

IT’S THIS DUDE AGAIN like the trailer spoiled this but if i found out this right here right now i would’ve lost my shit my god hahhaah

im like torn about how i feel about cr’s dress like idk if it fits her well even if it’s pretty

:<

oh im scared i hope this doesn’t become embarrassing 

:0

OMG THEY INCLUDED PENCIL SKETCH OF THAT S1 SCENE. HAHAHA. char growth yayyyyy

ok anyway im happy!! spent like an hour watching this or something lmao but good times!! much better than last ep HAHA yayyy im so glad we’re finally at the comp and lots of these little things have been tied up now im ready for new song drops!!!

[coridallasmultipass]

Vent / personal / tmi / menstruation / endometriosis / long post ... Im so fucking sick of healthcare professionals telling me to just wait it out and pushing my problems onto other doctors I just got my 5th shot of lupron and have 1 more next month. On my appointment last week i told the gyn how ive been having much more cramping and tissue but not blood coming out regularly and he said its possible the combined lupron and norethindrone are making my uterine lining too thin, and to stop the norethindrone (it was being prescribed to help any menopause-like side effects the lupron can have) And less than 24 hours after my first missed dose i get a full blown period complete with extreme mood swings and depression Im not bleeding this week but im still cramping and the mood swings are so fucking bad, being chronically ill and not getting enough relief from any of my medications is making all of this worse but im literally breaking down over any little thing The lupron and norethindrone combined i guess have been suppressing all my emotions bc this is what it was like on the daily before i started it (just not as bad) which is telling me that none of my psych meds are working but whatever I just now got off the phone with my psych and he said he doesnt want to do anything with my meds or dosing bc he says its related to hormones and thats what my gyn needs to address and i Need To Wait im fucking sick of waiting i cant do this ive been waiting since last august!!!!!!! I now have to wait 2 more whole months of mood swings until i can have another appointment with him hes refused to actually screen me for adhd too and says its bc im An Artist type that im not able to sit down and draw anything since last fall like i fucking hate him and he never gets my name or pronouns right and i cant go see a new psych bc of all the closures and i dont wanna call my gyn bc he said if things get worse i need to have a pelvic ultrasound done again and i cant do it!!! I fucking cant do it it hurts too much im too traumatized from depoprovera and mirena that i cant even touch myself without extreme dysphoria and fear that im going to cramp Its killing me that as someone who was so personally sexual to completely be traumatized from the road to an endometriosis diagnosis that i can no longer masturbate or even talk about sex without anxiety and being trans on top of it hurts even more Next gyn appt is my last injection of lupron and im really gonna push to plan for a partial hysterectomy (i only had endo cysts on the back of my uterus but it was 100% confirmed with surgery and biopsy) so i hope it will help so i can stop taking all these fucking hormonal medications like Before being diagnosed i was really planning on going on testosterone but now im too scared because i feel like it would really fuck up my health problems more - mentally and physically Ive given up on passing and am trying to focus on body acceptance especially now that ove had rapid weight gain that isnt being addressed by any of ky doctors i bring it up to God im just trying to vent here but seriously Do not take the diagnosis of endometriosis lightly its super serious to go forth with any treatments and you really have to commit to long term treatments and its a gamble either way For me not starting any treatments was unacceptable i needed help with extreme monthly periods and all forms of birth control ive tried exacerbated symptoms and never stopped bleeding - i literally cannot personally recommend any form of medical birth control bc every one has fucked me over, many different pills at different points in my life, shot (depoprovera gave me debilitating cramps and i bled non stop all 3 months which started this whole journey to diagnosis), iud (iud was the worst i had to go to the er bc the gyn refused to give me pain meds and i was screaming in pain a few hours later unBle to move or think - i really cannot stress enough how painful and long insertion is like it was the longest 5-10 minutes of my life crying while it felt like a knife going through me) I really dont want that ultrasound tho ffs i had to get the first one done while i was in full force cramps during my depoprovera shot and the pelvic ultrasound rod is humongous and they dig it around inside you (i already had a painful and hard time trying to have pleasurable penetration even by myself or with partners) and it takes like 40 minutes of jumbling around your insides for them to document every thing like at least at that time i was only like 2 months from my last time jerking off but now its been almost 6 months of me not even thinking about putting more than one finger in to clean myself in the shower like to go right into an huge ultrasound is going to be so painful and anxiety inducing and i cant do it id rather go straight into surgery My biggest phobias have to do with pain around this part of my anatomy i cannot stress enough how long ive wanted a hysterectomy just so i dont have to fear accidentally getting p r e g... like i would literally kms... i would probably be able to handle the pain of cutting off my arm with a rusty knife better than extreme cramping pain like i had with the iud or ultrasound its such a phobia and now its source of trauma for me from everything ive gone through the last 6 months Having to readjust my life goals from doing p o r n as a hobby and wanting to transition and be who i am, to becoming a vegetable and trying to cope with the fact that i cant ever transition how i hoped Everything just really sucks for me right now and i have literally no social life any more, not even online bc im so stressed about my health and my attention is so bad i cant focus on a convo online, my laptop is about at its grave so all i have is a phone and xbox with bare minimum internet speed.. i live in the middle of nowhere and cant get my license bc the person who was guiding me to drive is an essential worker in a hospital so i cant go in their car any more... im just so fucking alone i cant do anything except break my back gardening and then cry about it later bc my fucking meds dont fucking work!!!!!!!!! Oh thats another thing im also dealing with fucking gerd on top of all this and i cant get the proceedure i need done to confirm if i need surgery or not bc the fucking lockdown!!!! So im stuck taking pantoprazole (been trying similar meds since march 2019 and its currently june 2020!!!!!!) I just want to eat tomatoes and chocolate again it fucking kills me if i dont take pantoprazole i will lose my voice and have such a sore throat and ears from the stomach acid and i know im gonna have to stop it for 2 weeks for one of the tests i need done and its going to be literal hell like it feels worse than strep throat ill probably do the thing where i start choking and coughing at night bc it gets so bad Im a fucking mess like why couldnt all of this happen one at a time I really want to get my belly pierced again bc i feel so naked without it but i cant bc i probably will be having 2 surgeries once covid blows over (if it ever does) Sorry for taking up so much dash space im just really hurting and need some outlet bc therapy isnt helping rn

[asking-jude]

hello! im a student, i live on campus with 10 roommates and i have anxiety, hypochondria and an eating disorder (great combination right). everything is on lockdown now because of the coronovirus and i am so so scared. i cant sleep and i have stomach problems from all the stress. and i have no idea when this all will end. i dont know what to do and i am so scared please help

Hi,

First off, I am so sorry that you are dealing with all of this - it must be a lot to handle on top of everything already going on. However, in these uncertain and chaotic times, I want you to know you are not alone in your struggles. With all of the drastic changes being made and nonstop media coverage, it is natural to experience stress and worry for your safety. Although we cannot control the overall situation, we can control how we respond to it. I know it is incredibly difficult, but there are things you can do to help keep your stress at bay.

In the midst of these difficult times, it is especially important to practice self-care. Journal, take a warm bath, meditate, create a gratitude list, declutter, watch your favorite movie, etc. - whatever helps you unwind. Since the best thing you can do right now is self-quarantine, you can also try to take this as an opportunity to engage in various activities. You can immerse yourself in a hobby you enjoy, or even try out something new. There are many people are offering live classes on various topics or you can even watch YouTube tutorials. You could try out a new recipe, learn a dance routine, do an at-home workout session, enhance your creative skills, etc. - with the Internet, the world is at your fingertips! These virtual opportunities are a great way to distract yourself and stay active in the comfort of your own home. I also suggest you limit your media exposure, as it can heighten your anxiety and give you false information.

I've also attached some resources that may help you cope with your anxiety around COVID-19: 

 https://time.com/5791076/coronavirus-anxiety-cope/

https://adaa.org/learn-from-us/from-the-experts/blog-posts/consumer/covid-19-lockdown-guide-how-manage-anxiety-and

https://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-cope-with-coronavirus-covid-19-anxiety-psychologist-2020-2

https://www.healthline.com/health/9-resources-for-coping-with-coronavirus-anxiety

 Here are some further links to help you manage your eating disorder and hypochondria during these tough times:

https://www.eatingdisorderhope.com/blog/coronavirus-quarantine-eating-disorders

https://www.drdorie.com/coronavirus-and-eating-disorders/

https://www.vox.com/first-person/2020/3/10/21172206/coronavirus-covid-19-anxiety-depression-mental-health-ocd

 I recommend you stay connected with your family and friends. I'm not sure if you are friends with your roommates, but it is good to have them around to keep you company. A Facetime/phone call to a family or friend can be helpful in getting you through the day. If you feel particularly overwhelmed, you can always speak with a Crisis Text Counselor by texting HOME to 741741 (in the U.S.). This is a 24/7 text service for individuals who need someone to listen and support them through whatever they need. If you feel that you need (and can afford) more regular, individualized support, there are virtual counseling services, such as TalkSpace or BetterHelp. 

We are resilient - humans have made it through terrible wars, famines, and (like we are currently) pandemics. Like everything, this too shall pass. In the meantime, take care of yourself and stay strong. I wish you all the best and hope you are able to find some peace in these uncertain times. 

Much love,

Siriveena 

Asking Jude needs YOUR help! Donate pocket change here and save our safe space.

[kabutone]

so i was wondering why people suddenly don’t care about covid anymore despite the fact that not much has changed since 2020 and what HAS changed has been changing for the worst. pretty much the ONLY better thing is that if you’re vaccinated you’re less likely to straight up Die or have severe symptoms, which is good! don’t get me wrong that’s good! but that ALONE doesn’t do much cause the new variants are still just as likely to cause LC except they’re MORE contagious this time! and even if you’re vaccinated you can still get infected and you can still suffer from LC AND you can still spread it if you’re sick. so, we have not improved by much since 2020.

and i realized that 1. maybe most people are simply bad people and they don’t have the capacity to care for other human lives for very long. perhaps myself, and my beloved friends and family that still mask, were blessed with a superhuman empathy and incredibly smart brain, and we are leagues above everyone else or something /s. and 2. when people say “new normal” they don’t mean “we care for each other more now” they mean “we’re going to settle for death and not take any steps to prevent it.” cause here’s the thing, when alex jones called the sandy hook shooting a conspiracy theory, everyone was horrified right? and rightly so, large scale child death is nothing pleasant. but nobody is saying “school shootings are just normal now! don’t live in fear, children are just going to get shot in their classrooms now, and we should all just accept it! if your kid dies, sucks!” cause that’s insane right.

like maybe there are SOME people that are saying that. im sure there’s some insane people that are shooting advocates out there. but all us normal people would agree that it’s bad right? a lot of these people that are minimizing covid are otherwise sensible, smart, reasonable people. they would never advocate for school shootings. and now i know that gun violence is NOT being properly addressed in america, but for the most part, the majority of people are against it. even the conservatives that are scared of gun restrictions, im sure it’s not because they want to shoot up a school, it’s for some other reason like hunting or a sense of self defense. like i’m fairly positive they’re not fighting for their right to shoot up a school like i hope to god im right but they ALSO want shootings to stop, right? they just don’t want it the means of getting there to be stricter gun laws?

so anyway. what if the gov was like “when you get mad, you can take some deep breaths. you can listen to music. or you can go to a crowded area and just start shooting. you do you ❤️” and we would be against that right. like yes, a shooting happens every few days in the US now because that’s how bad things have gotten. but imagine how outraged most people would be if the government was like “we are no longer going to take steps to stop shootings. do whatever you want with your gun we don’t care” that would be completely irresponsible right? anyway. i can adjust to a new normal where masks, sanitation, and caring for your community become commonplace. i cannot adjust to a new normal where mass death becomes the norm and human life is worthless

[cutie-romero]

personal rant (haven't done one of those in a while)

tldr: im really depressed after making the biggest dream of my life come true 😶‍🌫️

i'm 26 and ever since i can remember i've wanted to be in a place that spoke english. i feel like i am WAY more comfortable speaking english than my mother tongue (even though i'm not perfect at it and make mistakes daily) but i just never got the chance to go due to money.

then, in 2020, i made a friend, who is from and lives in england, through the funhaus discord while isolating in my room with covid, and we started talking. we watched movies, videos, listened to music or would just shoot the shit for hours on voice. we started talking every single night and he was all of a sudden this hugely important person in my life. feelings were/are involved but imma not get into that now because yeah i cant. anyways, last year the lineup for reading&leeds festival came out and it was a fucking banger. my roommate and i decided "fuck it" and bought tickets, and told my friend we'd go over in late august and spend a few days there.

long story short (lol) we went there on august 25th, and i came back on september 3rd. it was the most unbelievable experience of my life. the weather was ideal, the people we met were the sweetest, and my friend was... lovely. just the loveliest, most perfect person. we hooked up every night i was over there and the feelings i had hoped were dead and buried came right back up to the surface. he had made it clear way before we met up that he didn't want to get into (another) long distance relationship. even though its something i would put up with to be with him, i can fully understand and respect his decision (even though it kills me on the daily and i wish i could be with him).

HOWEVER, i've been having such a hard time being back home as the time i spent there was fucking perfect and everything ive ever wanted. i'd expected to feel anxious, or out of place, or not be able to understand/speak english, but none of that happened. it was as if it was meant to be. not just things with my friend, but just the place, the language..

and i'm so, so fucking scared because i'm starting to forget. i'm starting to forget the shows we watched, i'm starting to forget what he smelled like or what his kiss tasted like, i'm starting to forget what places we visitied and what jokes we made. depression and anxiety have stolen and fucked with my memory for my entire life and i cannot handle it if it does that to this as well.

i have literally no idea what the point of this post was, just a rant i guess as i havent spoken about this to virtually anyone and it hurts more and more everyday lol