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byrdtrollsunoreversearchive · 10 months ago

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Three Things Rollyn Firlyn Does Not Remember

(teehee, if you want to read the drabble preceding this one, it is here)

Two months into their relationship, Rollyn Firlyn and Sunset Blinks are on a video call in Rollyn’s seemingly endless closet. She holds up a dress so he can see in the camera.

“Yay or nay” She says.

“Hmm” He thinks. “Maybe if you swap back to the other bodysuit with it?” He says.

“It’s coldddd” She complains. “I’m not wearing that.”

“Not the sleeveless one” he corrects. “The one with the sequins.”

“Oh” She says, going back to look for the offending bodysuit, and accidentally knocking over her phone.

“Ow- dammit” She curses, picking it up.

“Did you drop me?” Sunset jokes. “I broke all my bones.”

“Sunset, why can’t you just BE here” She voices, gesturing frustratedly.

“I have work,” he says.

“This party is kind of important to me” She sighs.

“So is my work” He replies.

“Yeah yeah, I know.” She complains. “But we’re doing something important here, the fundraisers for a really good cause”

“I know” he sighs, “And I am so proud of you, and I wish I could be there, but I can’t. I told you, I would-”

“Yeah, I heard your whole stupid monologue” She complains. “‘I will compromise with you on every single front but one’” She quotes her lover, in a mockery of Sunset’s voice. Sunset is silent for a long moment, and the quiet goes on so long even the video call cannot disguise the hurt in his eyes.

“Don’t look like a kicked puppy” She pleads. “Our second date, you told me you were always going to put your mafia bullshit above all else '' She says, stepping out of the view to change her clothes. “Do you not hear how you sound?” She says, dejected. “You’re difficult to understand, Sunset. You are so loving and reasonable so much of the time, but. So obsessed with whatever stupid highblood criminal powergrab that constantly occupies your waking mind. You walk and talk like you’re so much better than that. And I wish you could be.” She rambles, hurt. She is well used to being disappointed by highbloods, and she does not think him any different.

“That’s- not what’s happening here” He says, finally. “I’m not looking for power.” He says.

“Are you?” She retorts. “Or do you just have a more convenient excuse than other clowns?”

“Rollyn,” He pleads.

“Prove me wrong,” She says. “Prove me wrong, Sunset, I beg of you. You’re better than this.”

She is once again answered by silence.

“Well?” She insists.

“I can’t tell you why,” He says. “But you have deeply misunderstood the situation.”

“Why can’t you tell me!” She snaps. “I tell you everything Sunset! I’m an open book! I put so much trust in you! You won’t put any in me?” She says, frustrated, pulling on her dress.

“Rollyn, I…” He starts but can’t finish.

“I took a leap of faith,” She says. “I took the leap of faith, as a mutant, into the arms of a rich highblood in a gang. I hoped so much you would prove my assumptions wrong.”

“Can we wait?” He says, “To have this conversation in person?”

“No,” She says.

“On another night?” he tries.

“No.” She retorts.

“In a few hours?” He says quietly.

“It can’t wait” She huffs.

“If I told you” He says carefully. “You’d understand.”

“Then TELL ME!” She says, holding the phone close.

He opens his mouth, and then closes it.

“You can always wipe my memory if it goes wrong” She jokes, bitterly.

“I would never do that to you unless you asked,” He says. “I promise.”

“What are you afraid of?” She says.

“A lot of things” he says, trying to dig up the words to explain, trying to drag a well kept secret out of an iron box. He had buried this so deep for his safety. It’s easy to say. It should be easy to say. Throw a couple words in a sentence, Sunset, you can do it.

“I…” He starts. “You know my tattoos, on my chest?” He says.

“The lines, and the arms?” She says, confused.

“I got them to cover up surgical scars.” He admits. “I- was born a mutant. I had an extra pair of arms and pectorals, until a sweep ago, when I got them removed” He says. “So I could infiltrate the mafia, and take it down from the inside. I wiped the memory of how I used to be from everyone's mind. I- was not treated well… growing up on the streets, as a mutant. I was in a circus. I had a lot of hard jobs. It’s why I’m doing what I’m doing. It’s not just, stupid power bullshit, I promise. When I say ‘I get it’ I mean it, I really mean it Rollyn I do. But if I let my guard down about this Mafia thing for a second- if I missed a single spot in erasing everything I could of my past- I could be in real danger.”

And now it is Rollyns turn to stand there in stunned silence, trying to process what she’s just heard.

“You’re serious?” She says, running her hand through her hair.

“Yes, and I have proof if you need it- but also Rollyn- you just did that” He says, as she messes up the hair she had just spent a while styling. “Don’t touch it, you have the party, remember? I’m sorry. This was probably a bad time for this conversation. But in my defense, I tried to tell you that.”

Rollyn’s wings droop a little, shamefully.

“I’m sorry-” She says. “I didn’t think- I. Shit. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” He says. “I would have done the same in your situation.”

“Shit” The supermodel says, her wings fluttering nervously as she tries to fix her hair. “Go to work! If you have to. Hang up. Stay safe. I love you.” She stutters. “I’m sorry”

“I love you too,” He says. “It’s okay- I’m gonna be okay.” He reassures. “Look at me Rollyn. You’re gonna nail it” He says.

“Yeah?” She replies.

“Yeah. Goodbye” He says. “I love you” He repeats, and hangs up the phone.

“Really” She says, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “No fancy restaurant?”

“Aren’t you drowning in suitors who would treat you to fancy restaurants?” He teases.

“That doesn’t mean I’m tired of it” She says, squeezing his hand, glancing down the street they’re walking down with trepidation. It feels so civilian, so exposed. Fears for her own safety turn restlessly in her pan, the mutant’s wings held close to their body.

He seems to pick up on the tension in her stance, giving Rollyn’s hand a squeeze.

“You’re safe” he says, leaning over to kiss the woman’s forehead. “I promise.” And its a mark of the trust that had continued to grow between them since his confession, that Rollyn believes him.

“I don’t think I’ve walked” She says, “More than like, a couple blocks, in ages”

“Aren’t you glad I made you change out of those heels?” He jokes, and she shoulder checks him.

“You have Rollyn Firlyn on your doorstep” She says. “I came all the way across town to see you- trolls would kill to take your place- and you took me grocery shopping?”

“I told you” He grins. “I have errands today. You can come over but we’re not doing anything fancy” He says, stepping into the laundromat.

“Sunset,” She says. “Aren't we both rich?” She continues. “I appreciate your down to alternia attitude but you can’t expect me to believe you can’t pay someone to do your laundry.”

“You are just as beautiful to me in a laundromat,” He says. “As you are on the red carpet.”

She crosses her arms.

“This is just starting to feel like some kind of strange performance art” They say, “To domesticate me. Or prove I’m stuck up. Which is rich coming from you.”

“I would be here” he says, “Whether you came over or not. I said I have errands tonight, and I meant it.”

“You own over ten casinos” She says, Sunsets power in the mafia having grown exponentially since that fateful night Nycisn entrusted him with the pier. “And none of them have a laundry machine?”

“That hard to believe I just like doing laundry?”He says, the tiniest bit of his tongue sticking out as it was prone to do. “You know- recreationally.”

“Who does laundry recreationally?” She teases. “That’s like taking aspirin for the thrill. Yes, darling, I find that hard to believe.”

The man behind the laundromat counter is glancing at the couple in disbelief, as if he cannot believe a supermodel is just standing in his dime a dozen shop as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

“‘’xcuse me, m’am,” he says, “Are you the lady from that skincare commercial?”

She turns, flashing him a smile, maybe relishing a bit in his surprise.

“The one and only” She says.

“Gosh” He says, sheepishly. “You’d think you’d have maids doing your laundry.”

The woman lets out a loud bark of a laugh.

“Ha! You’d think” She says, making eyes at her kismesis.

“I brought her here” Sunset replies, rolling his eyes in answer, the ghost of a smile on his face.

“Hey,” Says Rasley, the laundromat operator. “Are you famous too? You look familiar.” He says.

“Only in some circles,” Sunset replies, looking away, rubbing his arm.

“Don’t be so ominous,” Rollyn says, glancing between the two of them, trying to figure out what’s happening here. The machine finishes, and Sunset pulls his clothes from it.

“Dunno what that’s s’pposed to mean” Rasley shrugs. “But I swear I’ve seen you before.”

“I’ve come here before,” Sunset admits. “Sans Rollyn. To do laundry.”

“Yeah, he’s a real laundry head,” Rollyn jokes. “Laundries recreationally.”

“Never heard of somebody doin’ that before” Rasley says, fascinated.

“I invented it” Sunset says, taking Rollyn’s hand in the one not currently holding his bag. “See you around” He promises, flashing a smile, before turning to exit.

“Wait,” Rasley says, “I never got your name” He mutters, but the purpleblood does not answer.

Rollyn walks in silence for a moment, before turning back to him.

“So what was all that?” She says.

“Hmm?” he replies, swinging the hand she’s holding.

“You and the laundromat guy! What’s the deal” She teases.

“There is no deal,” Sunset says.

“You have a crush on him” She guesses, grinning, thinking she has it all figured out. “That’s why you do your laundry there!”

Sunset's hand goes to his face.

“AH!” Rollyn squeals girlishly, believing she’s hit the money. “Are you flustered? That’s so cute,"she says, charmed.

“I do not,” Sunset says.

“Yeah right” Rollyn grins, glancing back at the shop. “Big old country guy. He is cute, "she teases. “Want me to play wingwan???? I’m very good at it, "she says, flapping her wings jokingly.

Three months later, Rollyn lovingly dabs a small, stitched up wound on her kismesis’s shoulder.

“Should we change the bandage color to match the dress” Sunset jokes.

“Sunset!” Rollyn chides.

“What! I want you to look good” He smiles, sticking out his tongue.

“I don’t think they make medical gauze in different colors.” She dismisses.

“They should,” He says. “For the stylishly injured” He jokes, wincing as she wraps the wound.

“I just-” She sighs. “Sometimes disturbs me how flippant you are about this sort of thing.”

“Babe,” he says. “It’s a couple inch wound. Barely five stitches.”

“You got stabbed,” She says.

“On the arm” he retorts.

“I worry about you” She says, her brows furrowed as she seals the wrapping with medical tape.

“I’m fine,” He says. “Sometimes you’ve got to lose a little to win a little,” He says.

“Oh, so getting stabbed was part of the plan? That’s not better, "she sighs.

“Gimme a month, I’ll be good as new” He says. “I’m sure no one at the premiere will even notice.”

Rollyn looks over her work once, twice, and then sighs.

“What is the plan, Sunset?” They say.

“For… the premiere?” He says. “I dunno, I figured we’d smooze around enough for the press to get photos, and then dip and go get sushi or something.”

“Not for the premiere,” She says. “I mean. The plan plan. The mother of all plans. The, I’m going to infiltrate the mafia and take it down from the inside plan," she says.

“You’re really good at asking easy questions,” He says. “Right before parties.”

“Sorry,” She says. “I know it’s- sensitive information. And can’t go into the wrong hands. And all I ever get to hear about it is vague asides and talk about Kokoro faking his death and Midas’s mirror demon and all the nonsense. But, can you just tell me one thing?” She says.

He is silent for a moment.

“Depends what thing” he says.

“You know I love you, Sunset?” She says. “You mean the universe to me. I could live a thousand lifetimes and I’d want to fall in love with you everytime.” She says. “Can you promise me one thing?”

“No fair” He jokes, his left arm gently touching his left arm in trepidation. “You can’t lead with that. What thing?”

“Promise me,” She says. “You don’t lose more than you win on this one. Promise me- at the end of all of this- When, if, Midas dies- you’ll be okay.” She says. “Can you promise me you’ll be fine?”

He does not meet her gaze.

“There are a lot of variables at play here” He says, an answer that sounds as weak and pedantic in his mouth as it did in his head.

“It’s your plan.” She says, reaching over and tucking a strand of his hair behind his ear. “Can’t you pick where it ends?”

“There is always an element of risk,” He sighs. “That is out of my control.”

“Promise me,” She says. “That sacrificing yourself somehow is not part of the plan.”

“I…” he trails off. “There's no way to do this without risk.” He repeats himself, lamely.

“Promise me” She pleads. “You got stabbed, Sunset! You were lucky to get away with five stitches and you’re laughing like it's nothing!” They say, their voice cracking. “It hurts,” She says. “To see you care about yourself so little. Do you have any idea, how many sleepless days I’ve had, wondering if you’re out there getting shot or killed or discovered- promise me there's a light at the end of it all, promise me you’ll be okay” She pleads, covering her face.

Sunset is silent for a moment, before sitting down, staring at the wall, and then back at her, and then back at the wall.

“I can’t promise you that” He says.

Rollyn struggles to ease her breathing.

“You are in” She says. “Over your head.”

“No, I’m not.” He says. “I know what I’m-”

“It’s not too late to back out, Sunset!” She pleads. “Whatever he did to you. It’s not too late to change your mind and run”

He stares at her, unable to answer.

“It is too late,” Sunset says, finally.

“We could go to Gihyun,” Rollyn says. “We could ask her for help”

“Rollyn,” He pleads.

“We could run away together” She begs. “Take the biggest pile of mafia money they have- and run. Find a new city. Find a new life.”

“I can't,” he says.

“Why not!”

“Tes Roven is my home,” He says. “I promised someone. I would see this through to the end. I would go down fighting.”

“I don’t want to lose you” Rollyn chokes. Finally losing her battle to not cry. “This isn't fair.” She says. “You can’t make me care about you so much, and then care about yourself so little.” She sobs, “I know you have a friend who died” She says.

Sunset freezes, suddenly, like a deer in the headlights, never having deliberately shared that information with her.

She sighs. “That night you sent me your old private instagram post, to make fun of how you used to do your hair” She says, wiping her face. “I looked at the other photos on it. It’s full of photos of you and a girl. And then she just stops showing up in the photos. I noticed it was the same girl you have a picture of in your wallet. You’re not the only one who can play detective” She says.

He is still staring at the wall, as if barely hearing what she’s saying at all.

“Whoever she was. Is this really what she would have wanted?” She pleads.

“Don’t talk about things you don’t know anything about” He warns, softly, gently.

“You’re alive,” Rollyn says. “I’m alive. Can’t we both just be alive and in love and be fine, Sunset. I know you’re hurt. I’m sure she meant the world to you and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. But I can’t keep watching you put yourself in danger.”

He does not answer.

“We could run,” She says, taking his hand. “We could both run.”

“I can't,” he says. She knew he would say it. She keeps asking questions she already knows the answers too. She wanted so badly to believe she was wrong.

“I can’t watch you get yourself killed” She says.

“Then don’t” He says, and flinches as he hears the bitterness in his own voice. “I love you” he corrects. “But I said on our second date, and I meant it. I will compromise on every front. Every front. But one.”

Rollyn stands up, wiping her face again, getting makeup on her hands. She fishes through a drawer in her closet for a cigarette, and lights it, like a woman about to dig her own grave.

“You shouldn’t” Sunset says softly to his asthmatic kismesis.

“Fuck you” she says, and inhales shakily. “You remember that first fight we had? Three months ago? On a phone call in this closet?” She says, sitting down in front of him.

“Yeah?” He says, carefully.

“When you told me you were a mutant for the first time” She says, wiping at her ruined mascara. She looks him dead in the eyes.

“Wipe my memory of you” She orders. “Back to then”

“What?” He stutters.

“You said you wouldn’t do it unless I asked. Well I’m asking.” She says.

“Rollyn,” he pleads.

“I could not stand,” She says, her voice trembling. “To love you, and then lose you, Sunset Blinks.” She says, her voice layered over with rage and care and hurt and despair. “So make it so I never loved you at all. Back when you were an ordinary purpleblood, and this was a silly fling. Give us some silly reason to break up.”

He opens his mouth, and then closes it. His shoulders sinking.

“Okay” he says gently, taking her hands in his. “Are you sure there's nothing you want to keep?” He says. And she exhales, closing her eyes.

“Remember that day we went to the aquarium?” She says, the ghost of a smile on her face.

“Yeah?” He says, trying to keep steady.

“And they had the wading pool with the stingrays, and-” She makes a noise half sob, half laugh. “And you walked right up to the edge- and one of them splashed you? Soaked your whole outfit.” She grins, and then it fades. She could list more things. She could list a thousand things. But she must not start now or she won't be able to stop. Or she’ll want to keep it all.

He touches a hand to cup the side of her face, looking at Rollyn like he always does. Like she were a waterfall, or an open sky, or a range of mountains turning blue and purple as it fades into the horizon- like she is unfathomably beautiful and just out of reach.

“I guess I could keep that” She sighs, leaning into his touch.

“Okay” He says, his gaze lighting up a gentle, purple glow. “Open your eyes”

She pauses, just a second.

“I love you,” She says, opening them.

“I love you too,” He says, “And I’m sorry”

#kicks off this arc for real #SIGHSS #im so normal about these two #rollyn writing #sunset writing #suicidal ideation tw #<---vague and implied but still #smoking tw #fantroll #fantroll rp #homestuck #homestuck oc #homestuck rp #hiveswap #friendsim #pesterquest

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