#im so interested but google has no answers

[aliens-took-my-iwa-chan]

googles not giving me any new information

this is so interesting,,, I want to know more than I already do,, if only google would answer my questions instead of showing me the same articles over and over

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

i would love to be doing something productive right now but instead i am thinking about mark winters reptile biology

[gayestcowboy]

fantasy dildo recs please? im trying to find one that isnt like $100 but is still good and reputable and wont fill my body with microplastics. ive been looking at neotori and they look great but;; the price;;; anyway yeah recs please?

hi! i have a lot of information for you.

first off, my specific recommendations of fantasy toy shops i’ve bought from or know to be reputable: uberrime, wandering bard, twilight meadow creations, strange bedfellas, pleasure forge, pp sculptors, batbites, xenocat artifacts. all of these shops have toys under 100 usd. uberrime especially has a huge selection including non-fantasy, realistic, and dual density. my top 3 fantasy toys right now are TMC’s ambrose (mini), wandering bard’s shadow demon (x small), and uberrime’s ardor dragon (small). highly recommend ambrose to transmascs with bottom growth. also it looks cool as fuck. mine is bright green and yellow.

second, this google doc is a masterpost of fantasy and fantasy-adjacent sex toy companies (created as a list of alternatives to bad dragon) and is organized quite well, and includes some shops to be wary of. it was last updated in 2022 so it’s outdated, but it’s massive and still quite useful. safe fantasy toys dot com also lists body safe toy companies, although you should still check reputability of the company before you buy (some of the companies listed on the site should still be avoided for various reasons— try cross checking with the google doc, browsing reddit, etc). all of the specific companies i recommend in this post use platinum silicone only, but if you go searching for other toys make sure to avoid jelly and other porous materials because they cannot be sanitized properly and will store bacteria. just like with piercing and body jewelry (another one of my special interests lol), it’s always better to pay more for safety when it’s something going inside your body. reputable stores will always list the material, and tend to have pages on their sites with even more specific information on their silicone. shipping also affects the price, especially international shipping.

also, when youre shopping for fantasy toys, make sure you check the sizing. smaller toys are frequently under 100 usd. many fantasy toys tend to be quite large anyways, especially knotted toys (many small knotted toys still have diameters of 2”+ which is usually too large for me personally. for reference i think the average human penis is somewhere around 1.5” diameter.) there’s so much diversity in fantasy toys that you will probably be able to find toys that fit your desired length/girth and are still classified as small and therefore less expensive. if you’re new to fantasy toys or have trouble with insertion (or even just have an average sized vagina/rectum), small fantasy toys can be cost efficient and accessible and more fun than more standard toys. many stores will also sell b-grade toys at a discount for minor cosmetic flaws that don’t affect usage. also, there’s a pretty big market for secondhand toys/dong sales on twitter, reddit, etc so if you’re willing to buy secondhand, that can be more cost efficient. quality silicone toys can be properly sanitized by boiling and other methods. for more cheap options— good glass toys can frequently be under 50 usd, and are easy to sanitize. also, tantus isn’t quite a fantasy brand, but it’s very high quality and has some great toys on the cheaper side (i love the tantus magma). and if you want a really good cheap vibrator, the romp hype is amazing and only 35 usd.

i am by no means an expert, just incredibly autistic, but i hope this helps! i’m always happy to try answering questions about sex toys!

[karmaajr]

HEYO Y'ALL!!!! I got bored and decided my last intro post was WAY too unorganised (even by my standards frfr 😔😔🙏) so i made a new one!!! hopefully this ones a bit better or else ima light somebody on fire 🥰🥰

anyways dms n asks r ALWAYS open and if ur new to my person/being/blog/existancewhatevs and wanna get to know me or smth then FEEL FREE TO SLIDE IN GIRLYPOPS!!! I'M ALWAYS BORED SOO 😭😭🙏 (might take like, a billion years to reply tho mbmb >:3)

and thus again, without any further ado, MY INTRO POST 😍

🎶 try to strike a chord but it's probably A MINOR 🎶 -> ✨️im under 18✨️ idm nsfw convos tho bcuz theyre funny :D

sooo tbh you can call me whatever you want? like ppl call me different things (eg senka calls me kam, bea calls me keke/kekere bcuz shes 🎶a meanie, a big meanie🎶 my irl bestie westie pookie poo calls me jeena CUZ HES A LIL BITCH) but MHM!!! CALL ME WHATEVER U WANNA <33 (as long as it dont feel masc bcuz my dumbass got issues w feeling masc for some RANDOM STUPID REASON 💀) (like im literally a cis girl why do i got problems w this....... but YAAAA 😭) (she/her btw!!! if that wasnt obvious!! ^^)

✨️i am cringe but i am free✨️

I SOMETIMES USE GENDERED TERMS LIKE GIRLY/BRO/DUDE/ETC BUT I DON'T MEAN IT GENDERED SO IF YOU FEEL IFFY THEN DONT HESITATE TO HMU N TELL ME TO FIX UP MY SHIT

btw im a tad bit of train wreck but if u enjoy the chaos then we'll get along js fine i think pooks 😋😋

anyways it came to my shitty little attention span one day when i was just being a silly lil girly that some of yall think im white when i say im british....... CHAT NOOO IM BORN N RAISED IN THIS TEA RIDDEN COUNTRY BUT ETHNICITY WISE IM BANGLADESHI!??!?! YALL IM LITERALLY A BROWNIE OMFDS 🤧

also a lot of this blog is a bunch of reblogs of shit im interested in BUT I DO HAVE OG STUFFFFFF, THEY'RE JUST IN THEIR OWN TAGS U GET ME??? anyways some of the tags!!!

karmaajr rambles -> for everything i post besides answers to asks :3

karmaajr answers ig :D -> answers to asks ^^

important thing for me to tag bcuz yes -> random thing i really wanna save (also im bad at tagging so sometimes thing has an "s" or tag has an "s" lmfao, ITS A RLLY USELESS TAG TO TRY SCROLL THRU ICL.... RLLY DRY AS WELL)

karmas mum mentions :3 -> i like to think this one explains itself yall 😘

daddy's unhinged -> anything about my sweet ol' pops (who totes cares abt me yall) 🥰

my sister and I -> anything my sister is involved in that i actually remember to tag LMFAO

NOT MY ASS MENTIONING PANIK -> me wanting to save things that r to do w my gf 🫶

BTW HIS @ IS @panikbutt0n AND SHE'S MY MAPLE SYRUP CHUGGING 4LIFER AND LITERALLY THE BEST THING SINCE RIPPED BREAD AND I LOVE HER SO SO SO MUCH SO ACC HIT HER UP PLZ 🙏🙏🙏🙏

btw yall, ur homegirl aint no gatekeeper so the group matching pfp thingy is from @tuturthecarvroom 's blog (n they very skibidi sbg art btw so i do reccomend frfr) and mY HEADER IS OFF GOOGLE SEARCH 😍😍

ALSO I AM CURRENTLY MATCHING WITH THE SILLIEST GROUP EVER FRFR, GONNA TRY @ THEM ALL BUT IT'S HARDDD (my memory is the shittiest thing since That One Time my friend shit his trousers on call w me 💪💪💪)

@lee1504 -> BRAINROTTED KING 🙏🙏

@d011zk1ll -> both kind af and somewhat unhinged??? like both "do a good deed to make somebody else's life easier ☺️" AND "im gonna eat a bicycle :p"

@sketchingwithlyn -> JUST THE CHILLEST GUY EVERRRR!!!!

@rot-decay-erosion -> gramps 🧓🏻 (also known as the desendant of our king garfield 😙✨️)

@afrogwhocantdraw -> RESIDENT BENLOR POOKIE

@low-senka -> the brokest senior citezen youve ever met 💔💔💔💔 (yall need to donate to my guy 🥺🥺🥺)

(also the thing below had me stuck looking at it for literally AGES so hehehehehhehehe GET TRAPPED IDIOT!!!!!! >:3!!!!!)

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(dots r fun)

anyways i have no clue what else to write!!! which is weird bcuz im a yapper frfr :D

ANYWAYS LOVE Y'ALL ✨️✨️✨️

WAIT

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THEY 👥 DONT🙅🏼‍♀️ LOVE 😘 YOU 🫵🏼 LIKE I 👀 LOVE 🥰 YOU 🫵🏼🫵🏼🫵🏼

[thewritersofdeceased]

what is up!!!! this is my first time doing a request thing so idk if im doing it right (if im doing it wrong ill be very embarrassed 😞😞) but could you do a tbp x reader but reader just moved to town and has vitiligo? i think it’d be pretty kewl

meow

Started this up a bit ago(10/19), but this has been in my inbox for a while now and I'm deeply sorrow this has taken so long!! I had to do my research for vitiligo, and I deeply DEEPLY apologize if I got anything wrong! But here is tbp boys x a reader who's new in town and has vitiligo! They/Them pronouns ;; gn!reader

FINNEY BLAKE

. Finney would be so interested in learning about your vitiligo! He loves learning about other people, really

. He’d feel guilty that he can’t fight anyone that talks shit about your disease(google says its a chronic autoimmune disease so thats why its stated as disease, correct me if im wrong!)

. does a lot of research in order to learn more about the whole vitiligo thing! 

. since your new to town, he shows you around and loves bringing you to the baseball fields!

. if someone makes fun of you while at a baseball game, he probably threatens to hit someone with his bat :3

ROBIN ARELLANO

. Robin finds it awesome to find someone both new in town and has an interesting appearance

. He doesn’t necessarily have any MAJOR differences minus the fact he’s hispanic, so he finds it awesome to find someone different!

. Unlike Finney, he won’t hesitate to beat the shit out of anyone who talks shit about you whenever he’s around

. SUPER protective whenever Moose, Matt, Matty and Buzz are around you, he threatens to beat the living hell out of them and to drag all four down to the deepest parts of hell for you

BRUCE YAMADA . the one who gives you THE MOST compliments even after finding out your new

. he’ll defend you 100% against any girls or guys who try to spread rumors about you, he doesn’t mess with that.

. He shows you all around town! Gives you little comments, explains the history of most of these places, etc!

. in general he loves touring people so its super fun for him to meet new people to show around!

VANCE HOPPER

. remember how i said finney wouldn’t beat the shit out of anyone?

. well vance would! Really badly may i say, he’d make them bleed

. He thinks your badass, he doesn’t have a problem with defending you against a bunch of pricks

. Vance would take you to all the badass and sort of “dangerous” spots before he brings you to the safer areas.  :)

BILLY SHOWALTER

. Billy’s used to showing people around, and of course Harper comes along too!

. He answers all the questions you have about neighborhoods, streets, etc!

. He loves complimenting you! He finds your vitiligo GORGEOUS.

. But seeing you with Harper and getting your trust? OOGHJS! He’s happy :3

GRIFFIN STAGG 

. Now Griffin himself is terrible with directions, so he’s not really good at showing you around :( Though he tries his best!

. Shows you all the main streets and the things he uses to figure out what street he’s on or where he’s going!

. He finds you really pretty/handsome, but is always nervous to compliment you even after everything!

. Helps you around the school!! Of course he does :3

[lowkeyren]

hello !! i really love your aventurine fics <3 i was wondering how you go about characterising him?

ahh thank you!! (,,>﹏<,,) i'll js use this chance to give a brief overview of my understanding of aventurine!! so feel free to scroll below for my take on aven characterization on my fics. for now, tw: yapping (lol)

at face value, aventurine is js a cocky bastard (/aff) with a rlly fucked up backstory; in which i believe that he fakes his confidence to mask his insecurities + his inability to let go of his past (evident from quest desc, reddit user compiled it here). 

his self loathing words are also kind of an inferiority complex (??) though he hides it really well. plus he often puts himself down because he genuinely doesn't believe that he's worthy (was literally sold for 60 tanbas, definitely fucked with his mental, thinking his life is only worth that much) + his tendency to overcompensate in money cus he isn't able to believe that people would genuinely want his company if not for his fortune or riches.

CN: 

没了那块���砂金石」，你就只是个被公司判了死刑的茨冈尼亚奴隶——还是说，你脖子上那行「商品编码」也是琥珀王的恩赐？

translation: without that piece of "aventurine", you're nothing more than a sigonian slave sentenced to die by the IPC —or is the line of "commodity code" on your neck also a gift from the amber lord?

he was favoured by gaiathra, but does he really see his luck as a blessing, or a curse? i’m sure we’re aware of his tendency to hide his hand behind his back because he’s terrified of losing despite being known to “have nothing to lose” when gambling; well his mantra on "all or nothing" also breaks me deeply cus it’s the same thing the man who bought him said (fits his character too i guess). 

i genuinely started tweaking when he (indirectly) said he attempted on his own life 3 times in penacony + when we had to take a photo of kakavasha, and there were 3 other empty spots for his parents and sister. 

tldr: aventurine fans are allergic to happiness because aventurine himself is allergic to happiness.

OKAY IM (not) DONE, SORRY LET ME ACTUALLY ANSWER THE QUESTION LMAOO

for my aventurine fics, i have yet to write one that actually deep-dives into his character, not one that mainly focuses on his character at least!! 

but i digress, dwst was written with “aventurine often wears a smile that masks his true motives, but when he's drunk that facade crumbles.” in mind. (though it didn’t come out exactly that way? up to your interpretation honestly!) 

from heartfelt embrace: “but nonetheless, maybe one day aventurine will open his heart to you, and you’ll find the courage to speak your truth. until then, you’ll find comfort in the warmth of his embrace.”

^ aventurine's guarded nature is evident in his emotional reticence. as he’s not ready to reveal his vulnerable side just yet, he yearns to provide warmth and security to you even if he struggles to express his feelings verbally.

incandescent feelings overflow was also kinda like “haha he has a nonchalant facade, but in reality he does have smt to hide” (can be interpreted as his romantic interest in you or he simply finds teasing you amusing) 

anyway live laugh love aventurine!!!!

good question google

[noctilin]

Hi jez!! ive been a long time follower of yours and your art has been a huge help when i was struggling in school. Hope you dont mind me asking this out of the blue but Im graduating soon and i still dunno if the careerpath i'll be taking is one i wanna take for life. I really like art, but im not really good at it, and i dont rlly have the means to "follow my passion". Im curious, do you do art for a living full time, or are you doing art while also having a quote unquote "real job"?

it doesnt really help that my parents arent very supportive of my art hobbies as of now, especially since im not making any money out of it. Money speaks as they say... LOL

hello!! i answered a question similar to this before you might be interested in. but tldr, i draw for a living! mainly freelance illustration.

commitment to art as a career is such a... complicated topic, i won't lie. even more difficult when you don't really have a sturdy support system like you say :( unfortunately, most people don't realize this is or isn't what they want until they take that leap.

personally, at first, it felt good, affirming to earn a living out of my art, it still does, but after years of it, i realized i would rather not monetize my work. it caused me to develop a complicated relationship with my creative process over the years. it often makes me question if i feel fulfilled with what i do, or if i'm only making this a means to survive. it burns me out constantly. even in the present, i have to continuously recondition my own perception of my process. but i'm currently not in a good position to just switch out my career.

i have been incredibly lucky that my art garners interest the way it does, and i make sure not to take it for granted. but i cannot hide how mentally draining it is to draw because i need to make ends meet instead of drawing because of the joy of it.

i like my art, i just wish i could enjoy it without worrying about a hungry stomach at the same time. 😅

i guess the point i'm making from all this is that money as a motivator in a creative field can be a mind killer. some people can do it, but i've rarely met such personalities... so what i'll say is this: if you want to learn and be around creatives, i would encourage going to art school, if you can. but going to art school isn't the end of it all either if you find it difficult to enroll yourself in one. art is accessible to all nowadays! just take a few google or youtube searches and maybe a little trip to the library, regardless if you want to keep it as a hobby or pursue it professionally. i've met a lot of artists who've landed full time jobs in studios without finishing an art degree. it's just a matter of letting your portfolio talk for you, a little bit of luck, and surrounding yourself with people who spark and uplift your creative spirit.

i know this is all still uncertain, but if there's anything i'm sure about, it's the fact that you don't have to give up art to live. art is living. it can still be your hobby if it doesn't end up as your job. and even if it doesn't become your career now, it's not impossible to have it in the future. i hope you find your way and, for what it's worth, congratulations on your upcoming graduation :)!

[kookidough]

random rant about tbp tiktok cause i’m actually Sick of it at this point💆‍♀️💆‍♀️ these issues probably exist Outside of tiktok as well but i only ever see them on there so thats the platform i’m gna talk about

before you read i just wanna say warning for mentions of sa!!!!!

first of all i dont want to jump straight into the serious shit so the unoriginality is actually INSANE like ive been seeing the same jokes since 2022, can we Please get something funnier than “griffin does gymnastics / is a ceiling fan” 😭 the amount of times recently i’ll see a tbp tiktok and then get someone copying the idea and making the Same exact post like 3 scrolls later is insane like Pls can we be original Pls this movie is so sad i need something to laugh at

outside of being totally unoriginal some of the jokes tend to be Really Fucking Disgusting like straight up joking about assault, i shouldn’t even have to explain that thats not funny in the slightest?? this one person made a bunch of really gross ones and kept blocking people who called them out in the comment section, my friend had to dm them Several times and all they did was take down one post, the rest are still up with a ton of views :/ i know its like shock humour or dark humour or whatever but i dont see the ‘funny’ side of a grown man forcing himself onto a child and i think if youre laughing at that you should sit down and ask yourself why you think thats so funny.. people in the comments are always like “i shouldn’t laugh” so they Know its wrong as well which just ugh the whole thing just really gets on my nerves

another thing that gets on my nerves is the lack of media literacy and straight up spreading misinformation, maybe on the media literacy part i’m just a hater but i see so many questions being asked or theories being posed when all of the things mentioned were… literally answered in the movie?? “whats up with finney and gwen’s mother” it’s literally said in the movie that she has the same ability as gwen and she killed herself bc of it, next question, “why was max so interested in finding the missing boys” maybe because he was a coked up conspiracy theorist who saw a serious crime happening in his brother’s area so he decided to be a genuine concerned citizen who wanted these boys to be found💀 “why did the grabber kill max” because he had evidence of the highly awful crimes he’d been committing and was about to let his latest victim free?? the list goes on and on but those r the main ones i see all the time

as for the misinformation. Ough. it annoys me So much this is a hill i will die on😭 i dont know if its people’s half-baked theories or personal headcanons that just got way out of hand but i see so much stuff being spread that just Isnt true, it gets spread so far that when you google these things it appears as true when its not which is annoying !!! i actually was gonna make an entire rant about one theory in particular that pisses me off so bad but i can fit it in here alongside my list of “other theories presented as facts that i Absolutely Despise”

first theory, the one i was gonna make an entire post over, is the theory that vance is the grabber’s son. if i see one more tiktok of those two with that marina and the diamonds song im going to fucking lose it😭 i have no idea where people got this from but its so fucking popular that it comes up on google and i Hate it, i think it comes from the fact that in gwen’s dream sequence, which, might i add, WAS A DREAM, it looks like the police drop vance off outside the grabber’s house and he goes inside there, which… apparently automatically makes them related…?? it takes like one ounce of media literacy to realise that Obviously he’d be getting dropped off at his own house in real life, but as a ghost he’s centred on the place he died and is showing that house to gwen in her dreams, like how every other ghost shows that house to her. awful theory awful take i hate it, if its ur personal headcanon sorry but i do Not fw that

the other theories i have like. not much to say about other than the fact that they’re Not true, i see a lot of stuff about griffin for some reason? the number tends to change but a lot of ppl say “he was kept in the basement for 4 years” like . Huh. where is your proof???? i know the missing posters are insanely unreliable but if you literally read them griffin went missing on april 2nd and billy went missing on may 4th so highly likely griffin was only in the basement for like. a month at most, no idea where ppl are pulling 4 years out of💀 i also see people say griffin has broken legs or a broken back Just because of the first scene where we see him doing a backbend but . if that was the case then he wouldnt be able to stand with the other ghosts when they show gwen the house, i think the backbend was just the position he died in and thats why he first appeared that way to finney but Hey thats just my opinion! last two i have like no rants over but just. firstly people saying robin never made it to the basement for some reason but clearly he did otherwise his ghost would not be down there with the rest of them😭 secondly the theory that vance was kept there the longest “because he’s the most feminine” which. just makes absolutely zero sense to me whatsoever idk whos random headcanon got popularised but i dont like it

okay getting serious again, while this one does not make me angry its like. just really weird to me? i think its common knowledge at this point that both the book and the movie are inspired heavily by the john wayne gacy case, with the grabber literally being inspired by john wayne gacy himself (you Cannot argue with me on this one its literally confirmed and theres a boatload of evidence supporting it). i guess its natural to see people making comparisons between the movie and the case because of the inspiration but i’ve seen Several videos recently of people taking photos of jwg victims and putting them next to tbp characters and saying thats who theyre inspired by and i think thats . Really coming across as insensitive i cant lie😭 we know the grabber was inspired by jwg and its heavily thought that billy was inspired by johnny gosch but theres not much about the others and i think its just really distasteful to compare real life murder victims to fictional horror characters just to get views/likes on tiktok, it comes across as insanely disrespectful to me but idk i havent seen anyone else talking about it so i might just be being sensitive

last thing that really really bothers me is grabber simps. while i do see it on tiktok i see it on here, tumblr, most often and its… so odd to me…. like why are you thirsting over the paedophilic serial killer… so so strange to me… i want to see art and character analysis and silly little posts about all the characters but every time i open the tbp tag i’m jumpscared by someones weird ass grabber x reader oneshot and its SO GROSS get that shit away from me😭😭😭😭 also saw this one girl on tiktok one time whos literal entire account was dedicated to the grabber and she defended this by saying the sa in the movie was “just a theory” which is so victim blamey girl i do not trust you there is so much evidence for it in the movie, again w the media literacy point, just because something isnt directly shown to you doesnt mean it isnt shown in other subtler ways… anyway i get if people like the grabber as a villain but actually like. loving him and thirsting over him is weird as fuck to me

so um ya the fandom is a trainwreck can we go back to there being like 3 of us please and thank u. if you actually read all this then Wow thank you its literally just me being chronically online and ranting about stuff that doesn’t matter in the real world at all

[priceoftheduchess]

100£ tip

johnny mactavish (+ tf141?) x waitress!reader

tw) descriptions of intimacy, johnny mactavish is also a charming bastard, use of 2nd person, reader is described as female w/ a feminine figure-ish! reader is also southern again i’m sorry im obsessed w her

a/n after writing: idk wtf this is tbh, also not proofread tw

Juggling hosting and waiting on tables, you’re a bit frazzled when a group of four large men come in.

One of them is the tallest, with a blond buzzcut and a black surgical mask covering the lower half of his face. You can’t see much, but his deep-amber eyes are absolutely gorgeous. The next tallest, you can he’s a bit older: peppering of grey in his hair and beard, smile lines gracing his face and he’s positively covered in hair. The next two are about the same height — one of them with a dark complexion and the smoothest skin you think you’ve ever seen, and a nicely groomed mustache. The other, a wavy mohawk and a dashing smile that has you drooling from both sets of lips.

“Jesus fuck,” you mumble, straight to their faces, trying to scan the quaint restaurant for a table that would accommodate them all. They all bust into a hearty chuckle and smile at you, your face heating with the passion of a thousand suns.

“God, I’m so sorry.” You face palm at yourself, and lead them to their table. In your section. You are so cutely unaware at how Johnny’s ogling your sauntering hips, and how everyone else is watching him do so.

They shuffle into the booth you’ve directed them too, smiling as they browse the menu.

You introduce yourself sweetly, your Southern twang ringing out in Johnny’s ears. He decides now that he must have you before the end of tonight.

“Dinnae got drinks here, d’ye?” The one with the mohawk asked. He’s … Scottish? What is he doing in America? What is he doing in Georgia?

“No, sir. We don’t serve alcohol. There’s a lot of rules and regulations around getting permits for that and our owner just ain’t interested.” You explain. “I’m sorry. We got coke products, sugar. And lemonade. And the best sweet tea in the Bible belt. I can make you an Arnie Palmer,” You offer, trying to soften the blow.

“What’s’at?” The one with the mustache asks you.

“What’s what, honey?”

“That drink you said.”

“An Arnie? Oh, it’s a non-alcoholic drink. Made of sweet tea and lemonade.” You nod. “Perfect mix of sweet and sour.”

“I think we’ll all just take one of those.” The oldest one says, shrugging as he looks around the table. Everyone nods in agreement, making it super easy for you.

“Alrighty. Also, excuse me, but where is y’all from?” You ask, slipping your order book into your apron.

“Inverness, I’m Johnny,” answers the Scottish one. You make a note to Google this place later.

“Herefordshire, I’m John,” answers the oldest. Google this one, too.

“London, I’m Kyle,” answers the one with the good mustache. Oh! You know this one.

“Manchester, Simon,” answers the blond one. Oh! Bingo!

You nod in response. “Well, whatch’y’all doin’ here?” You ask, laughing softly. Your hips are eye-level with Johnny now that he’s slouching, and he’s praying to any God who’ll listen that you don’t notice the metaphorical drool dripping from the corner of his mouth.

“Mactavish,” Simon snaps, raising a cheeky brow. Johnny straightens his face and gives you a grin when you shift your attention to him.

“Came out here to meet with some friends, is all. Friend of a friend told us to come and try out this place.” John explains with a shrug. You nod and saunter off to grab their drinks. You’re smiling like an idiot walking back to the drink station. Your coworker pulls you out of your trance by whisper-yelling your name.

“What?” You respond, just as urgently.

“The blond guy… you need to get me his number. His address, something!”

“Aubrey!” You laugh, as if you weren’t thinking of doing the same thing with the Scottish one. “Just talk to him when he leaves, you weirdo!” She laughs and groans at how you’re no help before walking away to look busy.

You finish making the drinks, shaking your head at your coworker. You walk over to their table, smiling.

“Four Arnies and some straws,” they all nod at you. “Can I get you boys started with some food?” They all nodded and passed you their menus.

“I t’ink we all agreed on just the brisket sandwich. ‘Pparently it’s the best cuts ‘ere, we ‘eard.” You nodded.

“Y’all are so simple! I appreciate that. I’ll get that put in. Y’all just call me over if y’all need refills or somethin’ ‘fore then.” You say and they nod.

Their food is out quickly, and you bring the plates over. “Brisket sandwiches for the whole table!” You smile wide, passing out plates. You make a small little “oh, no,” as you almost drop Johnny’s plate and he’s positively in love with you. More than before.

You tell them to enjoy and Kyle, Simon and John oblige — while Johnny watches you effortlessly work your tables. His food is lukewarm by the time he gets to it, and it’s his own damn fault.

You bring them their cheque and insist that it’s absolutely no rush before sauntering to the table next to theirs. The man at the table, sitting with his two kids and his wife, gives you a bit of lip.

“Asked you for ranch ‘bout fifteen minutes ago. Some service, sweet-cheeks. Probably why you can’t get a real job, huh?” He snarks and you nod softly, promising that you’ll get on it. And you do, with tears in your eyes. But while you’re gone, Johnny demonstrates freedom of speech.

“Bit of a prick, aren’t you? No way to talk to a lady.” He scolds the guy, his voice plenty loud.

“Mind your business, douche. Ain’t even your country. Why not go back onto where you came from?” The guy responds, obviously feeling proud of himself.

“Real mature, wanker. Apologise to the lady when she comes back over, aye? Dinnae make me deal wit’ye. Dinnae wanna hav’a beat ye ass infront of yer kids.” Johnny winks at the man. The man stands up and John matches his pace, holding up a placating hand.

“Lay a hand on my soldier and I’ll be dealin’ with you next. Johnny’s right. Apologise to the lady, pay your bill and take your food to-go.” John explains, his voice deceptively calm.

You walk back over, eyes a bit puffy with the man’s ranch, inordinately confused.

“Sir? Your ranch?” You say softly, and he scoffs at you.

“Bit late, bitch.” He spits out before walking to the counter to cash out with Aubrey.

“I’m sorry,” you say to the woman and the kids at the table before setting the ranch down.

“I’m going to go take my break. But do y’all need anythin’ ‘fore I do?” You say, sniffling softly.

“Nae,” Johnny gently grabs your hand from your hip and kisses your palm. “Take your time. We’re in no rush.” This seems to be the general consensus at the table, so you nod and take fifteen outside.

Once you come back, any trace of that man and his family are completely wiped from the restaurant and Aubrey beckons you over.

“They’re still here, girl! That Scottish guy was the one who said somethin’. Maybe ask him to stick around until we close,” she winks, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively and making you giggle. You nod, considering her suggestion and walking back over to their table.

“Refills? Dessert?” You ask and they shake their head.

“When’d’ye close, dove?” Johnny pipes up. Has Aubrey already given him the same idea?!

“Kitchen’s already close because it’s 8:30, but I can do refills and anything from the freezer until nine. Me and Aubrey are the only two working this late.” You smile softly and he nods.

“Mind if we stick around? Walk you two ladies to the parking lot?” Johnny smiles, and you’re dangerously close to collapsing into his arms.

“I’m sure Aubrey’d be fine with that,” she nodded, obviously eavesdropping, and you shrug. They smile softly at you.

At five after nine, you and Aubrey are cleaning tables, mopping and sweeping. You finish cleaning bathrooms and she finishes up cleaning behind the bar. It’s 9:54 when you’re both done and gathering up your purses. John and Kyle are gone, but Simon and Johnny are waiting patiently for you both.

“John and Kyle got called away by their birds, but we’re here.” Johnny explained, and Simon nodded to corroborate that statement.

“Oh! Okay!” You and Aubrey smiled at each other.

“What does John’s girlfriend do?” You asked Johnny, Simon and Aubrey already engaged in whatever conversation.

“Oh, she used to be a den’ist out in Texas, ‘n’ now she does travelin’ den’ist’ry.” He explains, you nod and smile.

“She sounds sweet,”

“Not as sweet as ye, dove,” he flashes you that charming grin.

“Simon’s my ride,” Johnny explains once all four of you reach Simon’s truck. It’s a rental, but it’s clean as fuck nonetheless.

“Well, what if I went home with Simon and Johnny went home with you?” Aubrey suggested, clinging to Simon’s arm. You agree with a shrug. Johnny is all too quick to agree to these terms as well.

You make it back to your apartment and you’re changing out of your work attire when you find Johnny posted up in your bed, all too comfortable for a stranger. You giggle softly, already knowing what’s happening tonight as you tuck yourself at his side.

He wraps you in his arm and passes you a 100$ bill.

“Whoa, what the Hell is this for, sweet pea?”

“Jus’ your tip for tonight, ya ken? For dealin’ wit’at prick.” You nod, as he vehement about not taking it back, and set it on your nightstand.

“Now, how about another 100$ tip?” He winks, and you melt entirely too quickly in his arms — despite the corniness of his joke. You nod and his mouth is on yours, tongues dancing and teeth softly clashing.

He slips his hand to the hem of your night shirt, separating your lips only to pull your shirt off. He’s immediately enraptured by your bare chest, despite the unsexy bra you’re wearing. He looks up at you for permission to take this off, too, and you nod.

He flicks the clasp open before you can even say a word and tossing it elsewhere. His shirt finds solace on the carpet, following your sweatpants and his jeans.

He’s kissing all over you, sucking marks onto your soft skin and gently slipping a hand down to your wet heat. He gently opens you up with his fingers and takes him time with the prep. You’re so blissed out already that you don’t realize when he’s buried himself to the hilt.

“Dinnae have to rush, hen.” He grunts, squishing gently at your hips. You nod for himself to continue and eventually he’s got a moderate pace, drawing everything out with deep, intimate thrusts.

He’s talking you through everything when you tip the brink, gently praising you in your ear and cleaning you up afterwards with soft kisses to your abdomen.

“Goodnight, hen.” He whispers softly, and you’re so tired after a long shift and a long session that you’re half asleep when he kisses your forehead.

You hope Aubrey’s having a good time, and that she got two 100$ tips as well.

[1eos]

mx kendra, do you have any advice for job hunting? I'm about to start looking(again), but its always so intimidating - have a lovely day!

how it feels to start job hunting in the 2020s:

but yes i have advice for you anon! last time i went job hunting i got serious enough where i was reading 'askamanager' blogs and shit like that to really make sure i wasn't wasting my effort

so kendra's advice to job hunting in the most effort effective way:

first and most importantly is to understand that job hunting rn is simply a numbers game. it's not you it's just that the society we're living in is full of shit. for every 10 job postings, 4 are fake, 1 has an internal candidate in mind already, 3 are just posting jobs to look good and the rest are legit but slow af

bc job hunting is a numbers game its easy to be discouraged if you're not receiving responses consistently as proof that you're not just throwing shit into the void so its superrr imperative to try your best to apply to legit jobs. ive found my best success using indeed as a method of jobs being brought to me and then going on the company website myself and applying. this also doubles as a way to make sure a job posting/company is real

keep a spreadsheet of applied jobs. i just googled 'job application spreadsheet template' and picked one of the first ones i saw, made a copy, and then modified it to suit my needs. keeping a spreadsheet was one of the best things i did bc it can help keep track of jobs you've found and haven't applied to/ones you have applied to/and if you're like me and had a goal of getting a state job i could pre-empt when the interview requests were gonna come in lol 😭

resumes/cover letters. whew. probably the most important part of job hunting. ai scanning or not its a good rule of thumb to have skills mentioned in the job description to match the job posting. what i did was dedicate a folder in my google drive to job stuff and made a folder for each kind of jobs i was interested in. from there i would find a job i wanted to apply to and tailor an old resume to have a bunch of the shit mentioned in the posting on the new resume. i'd save it in the appropriate folder with the date i edited it. if you haven't been in the habit of tailoring your resume you may be doing this a lot but eventually you'll have so many variations you won't have to do much editing if at all. and i do the same with cover letters. i have a general template for my cover letter and then tweak them for each kinds of jobs im looking for. this + ditching linkedin helped me A LOT

create an interview cheatsheet. you probably already know the job hunting sphere has a language and culture all its own. personally as someone with a touch of the 'tism it do not make sense to me so i have unknowingly not navigated interviews as well as i could have. what's helped? ask a manager. seriously. miss allison has helped me blend in as a normie soooo much 😭😭😭😭 if you have any specific questions/have any specific weaknesses just search the site but what really helped me was the list of good interview questions. oh and for the longest i could never come up with a good question to ask my interviewer but one day google recced me this article and now every time i ask 'so what would separate a good candidate from an excellent candidate in this role' and when i tell you my interviewers gag every time lollllll. i also went through 'boost your interview iq' [pdf download link here <3] and jotted down notes on how i can answer common interview questions to quickly be able to go over the night before

study the job posting before the interview btw and try to drum up at least one correlating anecdote for some of the major points of the job bc they WILL ask you that lollllllll

[habitsbf]

hi, I really like your account and you always post very interesting things! I would have loved to ask you to explain the seven trials of Habit because since am very new to everymanhybrid and i just cant understand it and i know that it probably plays a big part in the lore

(Sorry if this dosent makes sense i cant really write in english so i used google translation)

AHHH YAY IM GLAD YA THINK SO :D EverymanHYBRID is a pretty confusing series to get into. theres a LOT going on in it and im more than happy to help you understand better!! ALSO SORRY THIS RESPONSE IS SO LATE </333 ive been kind of out of it lately, but im back now!! i can only go so long without posting about HABIT...

the seven trials of HABIT is a tournament that HABIT hosted a couple years ago. everyone involved in the tournament was assigned a new name under "Rabbit #XXX" and 231 participants were accepted into the trials. this included ryan (rabbit #001) who was the first one eliminated, jeff (rabbit #002), evan (rabbit #003), vinny (rabbit #004), and at the time jeff told alex that he forbidden from joining the trials, but alex ignored jeffs warning and joined anyways under rabbit #231. the other participants were viewers at the time who could join via email, but not everyone who sent in an application was accepted into the tournament.

HABIT eventually created his own Twitter account (SEVENTRIALS) and officially welcomed all the rabbits to the tournament. he then divided them all into 3 groups: angora, english lop, and netherland dwarf, which are all breeds of rabbit. the groups were divided by numbers, 1-77 were angoras, 78-154 were english lops, and 155-231 were netherland dwarfs. each group was set to hold 77 members (its clear the number 7 is important to HABIT for some reason, it appears a lot here)

what is the purpose in all this? what is the purpose of the trials? well you see, we dont know exactly. theres been multiple speculations surrounding the purpose and we dont have a real canon verified answer for it.

one thing i would like to mention is a lot of what takes place in the trials matches up to how cults function. a lot of cults require their members to do things that will strip the members of their former lives in order to make them ready for a new path. im gonna list a few examples ↓

TRIAL ONE: the rabbits had film themselves burying a cherished item of their choice.

"LEAVE YOUR LOVED ONE BEHIND."

they had to part with a beloved possession that was important to them in some way. im not sure what jeff buried, but i know evan buried the prettiest knife he had, vinny buried his special edition of ocarina of time, and alex buried a bullet he shot with his dad.

"I REALIZE YOU MAY HAVE LIVES. THAT IS UNFORTUNATE. AND WILL CHANGE."

TRIAL TWO: when congratulating the rabbits who successfully passed trial one, HABIT says "GREAT, YOUVE BURIED SOMETHING. ALL YOU HAVE DONE IS LOST ONE MORE THING THAT MAKES YOU HUMAN."

TRIAL THREE: the rabbits have to lose a friend "BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY."

"DO NOT TELL THEM WHY YOU ARE DOING THIS. BLAME IT ON THEM."

the rabbits dont even get to go by their own names, which is required in some cults. some cults make their members change their names as a way to sever ties with their past identity.

whenever the rabbits do something, he wants them to state and make it known "HABIT MADE ME DO IT."

HABIT hasnt said anything about this publicly, but HAS addressed it in 2 private chats he had with some of the rabbits. in the first conversation HABIT stated the purpose of the trials was simply "BODY COUNT", but in the other conversation HABIT stated the trials would come to and end when the last rabbit was eliminated, regardless of whether he had reached the seventh trial.

ALRIGHT THATS ALL IM GONNA LIST i definitely left some details out, but i just wanted to go over the gist of it and give a decent amount of info since this post was getting too long. if i listed every single thing that took place within the trials, this post wouldve been SUPER MASSIVE 😭 buuut if youre still curious about anything, feel free to shoot an ask my way :D

[bright-and-burning]

january books

masters of death by olivie blake

a fun time!! read this in 3 hours straight right after deciding to get off tumblr for a while. a really fun ensemble cast whose various connections constantly had me gasping (at one of the reveals i gasped so loud my dad thought something was wrong), an interesting enough mystery that was fed to the audience in bite sized chunks. gay people! which i genuinely missed the lgbtq tag on storygraph; what a joy to be surprised with. honestly almost cried at the end... which is less of a book thing and more of a me thing.

the city & the city by china miéville

picked this up on my dad's recommendation, since it's one of his favorite books ever. i kind of got confused by his explanation (and by the fact that he had watched a sci fi tv show w a similar premise except involving two cities occupying the same space in a like. pocket universe sense) so i went in thinking it was going to be like, two cities with dimensional borders. so it took me a minute to pick up what was going on. FASCINATING spec fic. much chewier than masters of death lol. it's two cities that occupy the same Physical space. and all the people in one city Unsee the people and architecture and cars in the other. and then there's a MURDER! that seems to involve illegal border crossing between cities! extreme reread potential. has anyone read this? please somebody have read this i dont even have anything intelligent to say i just want to shout incoherently with someone.

organizing solutions for people with adhd by susan c pinsky

ok this one shouldn't count lol. but . whatever. lots of interesting ideas; the ones i've started putting into practice have in fact been game changers, so. the whole philosophy of like, maximizing efficiency and kind of lubricating your life makes a lot of sense!! im about to reorganize my whole kitchen bc of this lol

the department of rare books and special collections by eva jurczyk (DNF)

i was promised a mystery. this was not a mystery. a very expensive very very very rare book is stolen from her library, and the main character is getting drunk with her ex (and current employee/colleague) from 30 years ago in the stacks instead of paying attention to idk the employee who has disappeared or suspicious behavior or ANYTHING! that would lead to finding the book!!! got about a third of the way through and was so fucking frustrated like 'when the hell does this become a mystery' and then i googled it and apparently it was originally marketed as a "women's book" (whatever the fuck that means) not a mystery. and honestly yeah if i wasn't reading it explicitly bc i thought it was a mystery set in a special collections library it would probably be a fine book. maybe even a great one! but it was a bad mystery. and i was not willing to read 200 more pages just to get to SOME attempt at investigation. much less 400 more to get to the answers. so... DNF. :/

the da vinci code by dan brown

haven’t finished this yet (please don’t spoil anything for me… i have escaped any kind of knowledge abt the contents of it and i’d like to continue that way) since it’s my train book and i have slowed waaaay down. need to be more deliberate abt reading bc i really do hate reading on the train when i can’t finish it in one sitting. anyways potentially controversial opinion i like it so far!!! i love a mystery. love a mystery soooo much. and i love art (and bonkers art history). and im squicked out by catholicism. so perfect for me. realized like idk 70 pages in that it was a sequel and was like well fuck but i think i can go back to the first one without being terribly spoiled on anything. also only just discovered there’s a MOVIE??? with fucking TOM HANKS??????? what the hell.

january overall summary: read three books in four days and then fell way the fuck off once i got back to my own place. but i do now have a library card for libraries not several states away. and i know im currently capable of reading like crazy if i just sit down and do it. so february we work on that…

[the-sheep-from-obeyme-real]

Obey Me! polls

So I have no idea if anyone who follows me actually remembers awhile ago when i used to post polls a lot? well the reason I stopped was because I noticed a pretty big flaw with me using tumblr polls for this. which is that I can't ensure that its the same people answering all the questions. so the results got a little fucky. (not sure if my exact logic there makes sense but its the conclusion i came to.) regardless ive wanted to make a google form for this for awhile, but i never did because i wasnt sure if anyone would actually respond to it. (+it seemed like a lot of effort and im lazy) anyway i made a google form. theres like ten-billion obey me related questions in there (it is not that many). I'll post the results as i see interesting things,,,. you get the idea pretty pretty please answer it? i love data,,, so much... anyway heres the form link vv https://forms.gle/yM5KihdJQYxUK37U7 (if anyone has any other questions they think i should add, ask me and i might just add them)

[kiburebuc]

ten (not ten, sorry) people you'd like to know better!

ty for the tag @wwoofington ;;

last song: Machine Messiah - Yes (last of what i think is the 'classic' yes albums. 90125 was next and completely changed their style. absolutely adore after and before ofc but its interesting to hear some of the later (becoming 80s) style in there)

favorite colour: purple,,, or greeen, or blue, or seafoam. seafoam final answer i think, i am indecisive

last book: Jim Henson: The Biography (finally finishing it up before i go onto another scifi series, maybe retry Red Mars, idk)

last movie: Watched Sixth Sense with my mom, i usually dont like M Night movies but this being one of the (if not *the*) "good one," i liked it a lot

last tv show: Just rewatched the mandatory autumn Over the Garden Wall rewatch with my sister, otherwise im ongoing in watching The Sopranos

sweet/spicy/savory: spicyyyyy, everything should have a little spice in it

relationship status: single, just chilling

last thing i googled: "archipelago randomizer" watching carlsagan42 play The Witness (i lovelovelove the witness) and a chat member said it worked through 'archipelago' and i wondered what that was! (its a game randomizer engine)

current obsession(s): i dont think much really? i dont get obsessed over things, though im always obsessed with furries, cars, other stuff. recently been feeling very feral dog, hence trying to go on the backpacking trip and trying to do more outdoors

looking forward to: • hanging out with friends soon! my childhood friend max has a birthday next weekend im so excited to go bowling with her • meeting a clinician for an appointment for my adhd meds to hopefully make college a lot easier • changes on hrt

tagging: im so tired sorry uhmmmmm feel free to do this whoever sees ;;

[topconfessions]

[ask] hi.. I’m one of the newly obsessed Tops fans after watching squid game.. since he first shows up on screen I’m like “this character seems he could be an idol…and this dude is really really good at playing an idol..very natural” and then did my little research and here I am now in your inbox.. so.. I’m same age as top so I’d say I might have considered my self too old for boy bands back in the 2010s (but I am not NOW at 37 lol) and I’ve entirely missed his golden and dark days and I genuinely want to understand what the hell is going on with him.. I’m so intrigued by what I saw TOP was when performing, how shy and posed he was off stage for example in interviews, how quirky and random (and I agree he might be high functioning neurospicy) and so talented and classy and all over the place with his interests passions and work projects.. like.. I guess I wanna know him or his story a bit more, from people who were there this whole time.. I mean.. has he really tried to unalive himself? That pic of him in a wheelchair seemed staged to me no? Like why would there be pictures of someone after something like that.. if not for spectacle or pity? I mean I don’t know what to think or what to believe.. but I’d love to know your perspective (while I keep reading your blog in search of more answers).

Also in my humble opinion his role in sg was the perfect contrast to the heavy sense of doom the rest of the players were giving off.. it made the whole thing even darker cuz he was intentionally out of place mentally basically..I reckon it was a genius move, from a cinematic standpoint.

Im not Korean so I can’t possibly understand their culture, unfortunately, nor their unforgiveness and strict morality around drugs and whole the hate towards him, but I believe the hype now and the new international fans will boost his confidence.. I’m convinced it must take a lot of courage to do what he did, despite his reasons (broke or not, fame thirst or whatever) which we’ll never know obvs.. he should show up for promotion tho.. put up a poker face and expose himself if he wants to heal the wounds..

I have felt a lot of compassion towards him and I’d love to get to know his past a bit more.. if you’d like to share some of your stories or even just recommendations of reliable sources where I can get an idea of who is was/is.

Thank you so much and sorry for my venting 😅

I think I'll have to go back and compile a list of links and sources for it all, but he did try to unalive himself when he was younger when he was briefly (and secretly) dating Kim Woo Bins current girlfriend (finance? Wife??) Shin Min Ah. They had a bad break up and everything wasn't working out well. He has some mental health struggles but he recovered a lot from that point. It was way before I'd say their big album Alive. Alive in 2012 was a turning point for their career.

Didn't he have like an anxiety attack or panic attack? Pills? Damnit. I gotta go comb through netizenbuzz blog (type netizenbuzz into google then enter T.O.P or bigbang into the search. Enter his name any way you can to see the list of stories). He did say that the industry teeats idols like Machines. He doesn't like the idol industry and made it clear how toxic the working conditions can be in that interview for the magazine where he has white hair and angel wings behind him.

He is multiple dimensional so while I do feel he was acting out an exaggerated caricature of his worse time in the industry some years ago, he really is one of the most intelligent and sophisticated men in the idol world for real, his art history and painting knowledge is incredibly expansive. I'll tell you now, my interest in him helped me land a great job once cause I learned so much about art through paying attention to him lol. I really wish he would go back to that.

I do miss the old top. But nearly everyone changes eventually while some people stay the same. I wish he was kinda like GD and consistency with his personality and interests.

What do you think of his wine so far? Like his investment in that? I think he should've pushed it harder, as hard as the space x project and create a non alcohol version of it so all fans of legal age can drink it.

Theres so much to unpack and revisit. But yes to all of this.

[tiramegtoons]

Hi! Im the "Search Okage Shadow King on Google" anon.

After watching a full 23 hour gameplay of the game, I sent you that message because I honestly thought it was crazy that so few people knew about this game and I wanted to contribute some publicity

And after weeks of playing the game myself, I must say that while it has some flaws, it's a game that shouldn't be ignored. It has many interesting aspects, such as its story, lore, world design, characters, character/creature design, humor, and the many morals that the game gives.

I wouldn't want to ask you much, just that if you could, take a look at this game. You don't have to play it, watching a gameplay is enough, and if you're interested, you can advertise it, the fandom of the game is so tiny that it's a shame, the game isn't perfect but it doesn't deserve to be criminally underrated.

That would be all, I love your Snatcher art btw!

OH HEY I remember you~

oh my gosh thanks!!! ><

And yes! I've heard of the game I've even seen some crossover fanart of the game with a Hat in time But what i didn't know was-

IT WAS ON THE PS 2???

If somehow i had a hold of it i would've played it then when i had the console (btw i loved playing the Sly Cooper trilogy) Anywho

23 HOUR GAMEPLAY???

jesus fbhdbgjhdbgd thats gonna keep me on my toes also before i answered this i watched like 20 minutes in, nothing too interesting yet. also strangely giving me Persona game vibes so far for some reason maybe even some Psychonauts as well. I guess I'll have to keep seeing what's in store. (also i really wanna see this shadow dude who looks like Snatcher's uncle or smth lol)