#im so grateful people want to take care of me but i wish i could take care of them too ya know

[saintqueer]

.

[hoonieyun]

Hello I know your requests are closed rn but when they’re open I was wondering if you can do reader doing the trend when she tells enhypen that she can’t pay rent this month (lmk if you don’t know the trend I’ll link it!)

i can’t pay the rent ⊹˚. ♡

pranking enha hyung line by telling them you can't pay the rent for the month

warnings: profanity, kissing, teasing/pranks, consensual touching, 18+ genre: fluff… just fluff idek LOL notes: OKAY I SWEAR NOWTHIS IS MY LAST REQUEST IM DOING TIL NEXT YEAR LOL yall keep sending good ones and i dont wanna make you guys wait but PLS save the requests for next year, i promise i will do them all hehe anyways thank you for requesting!! i thought this was so funny because my sister did this on her husband recently and he was so dramatic about it, telling her that they had to sell her car LOL anyways enjoy and as per usual… not proofread lmao

husband!heeseung ⋆˚ʚɞ – wc: 484

– you thought this prank was hilarious, especially because it seems like the people’s reactions were always so dramatic and you knew heeseung’s would be similar, if not funnier. heeseung was going to be arriving home from work anytime soon so you sat at your dinner table waiting for him to walk through your front door. 

in just a few minutes, you could hear his keys enter the lock and turn the doorknob. heeseung was very hardworking and as much as you fought him on the fact that you were okay also working, he wasn’t going to let his wife do another day of corporate work if he had anything to say. 

the year before you two got married, heeseung received a huge promotion, one that allowed him to take care of the two of you without you having to ever lift a finger ever again. you were grateful for him and you did your best to be a good wife even if heeseung was okay coming home to ramyeon and cuddling in bed all day. 

“hi, my love. how are you?” he says, throwing his shoes off and making his way over to you. he quickly presses a kiss on your temple and you release a pent up sigh to make your distress believable. “what’s wrong?” heeseung asks, squatting down so that he could be more eye level. 

“hee… promise you won’t be mad at me?” you say and he nods at you, slightly pouting and looking at you with his big doe eyes. he was unsure of where this was going and the contrast to your usual bubbly personality was a bit worrying to him. 

“i don’t think i can pay the rent this month…” you say, jutting out your bottom lip with a slight quiver. heeseung looks like he’s just heard the saddest thing ever, like you just confessed the utmost heartbreaking statement. “baby, that's okay! please don’t worry? we’ll make it work…” heeseung says, pulling you intoa hug anf rubbing your back softly. you accept his hug but can’t stop yourself from bursting out into laughter. heeseung suddenly pulls you away, holding your shoulders and looking at you with a suspicious expression, his left eyebrow raised as he stares at you. 

“babe? why are you laughing! we can’t pay rent and you’re laughing– wait…” heeseung begins to say and you realize that he’s caught on. “you don’t even pay the rent! i do!” heeseung says, shooting up straight and posing with his hands on his hips with a scolding face. “sorry hee!! i had to prank you because your reaction is too cute!!” you respond and he smirks with a chuckle, falling into your arms with a hug. “you’re lucky i love you!” heeseung says before the two of you share a kiss. 

“now… where’s my ramyeon!” he says, picking you up bridal style and walking over to the kitchen.

husband!jongseong ⋆˚ʚɞ – wc: 663

– everything about jay just screamed gentleman. he always opens doors for you, when it rains he carries the umbrella predominantly on your side more than his, he keeps you on the side furthest from the street when walking on the sidewalk, he showers you in love and compliments, and never lets you forget how much he loves you. 

he respected your wishes when you said that after getting married you no longer wanted to work, in fact, he encouraged it. he had wanted you to stop working for a while now because of how shitty your boss was but you ultimately waited until you were married to do so. he wanted you to stay home and work on your dream home, encouraging you to use his card for whatever you needed so that you could make the house you two got together, the one of your dreams. 

so when jay was at work, you were at home doing projects to do just that; make this house your dream home that you and jay would spend the rest of your lives together in. you were taking a break from gardening in the backyard when you came across the tiktok and because you knew that jay was weak to your pranks, it was going to be easy to pull one over on him. 

you finish doing the rest of your garden for the day just as jay was coming home from work. you greet him at the front door, sliding your gloves off and giving him a kiss on the cheek instead of a hug so that you wouldn’t get his clothes dirty since yours was slightly covered in dirt. 

“hi baby, can we talk?” you ask and the atmosphere instantly shifts as you grab him by his hand to the kitchen. you pour him a glass of water as he’s taking a seat at your kitchen counter, eyes fixed on you as you walk over to him. “is everything okay, my love?” he asks and you pause for a second as you try to bite back a laugh. 

“i don’t know how to tell you this but i can’t pay our mortage this month…” you confess and he looks at you with furrowed brows. “what mortage?” he ask and you tell him the mortage for the house and his eyebrows remain furrowed. “did you buy a new house??” he ask and you couldn’t help but break character. “why are you laughing?? what’s going on??” he asks, even more confused than before and you explain to him that it was a prank you saw but he wasn’t able to move on from your statement, still asking if you had bought another house that he hadn’t known about. “wait so is there another house? do you pay the mortage for that house?” he asks as you try to catch your breath from laughing so much. 

“can you be serious? i have no idea what’s going on! do you need me to pay the mortage on this house? it’s okay if you do, you know i’ll help you with anything.” jay adds, proving yet again how kind and generous he was. 

“baby, it’s a joke! there’s no other house.” you answer in between laughs and his eyes narrow at you after finally realizing what you were saying while laughing. 

“wow, i’m going to need to learn how to stop falling for your pranks. what’s next, you’re going to bring home a bunch of puppies?” and when your eyes widen at his response, he pulls you into a hug while shaking his head; “no, don’t even think about it!” he says, pulling you towards the bathroom. 

“but– nope! we are not getting a puppy!” jay says cutting you off. you look at him with a pout and all he can do is place a soft kiss onto your lips. “okay, fine. i’ll think about it.” he says and you cheer knowing deep down jay wanted a puppy too. 

boyfriend!jaeyun ⋆˚ʚɞ – wc: 733

– you and jake have just moved into your first apartment together after graduating from college. it was nothing crazy, just a humble 2 bedroom apartment and although you would’ve settled with 1 bedroom, jake insisted on getting two so that you could have a dedicated space for your art. jake definitely made more than you and although it made you a bit insecure that he was always taking care of the finances, he reassures you that he wouldn’t want it any other way.

often telling you that he’s happy to do it if it means you could put all your focus in your passion for your art. he even goes as far as having your art supplies on a refill cycle because he knows how fast you go through them and he doesn’t want you to ever run out so he has them delivered just in time as you’re about to run out of something whether it be a canvas, tools, or a certain color of paint. jake was loving like that. 

willing to spend what he needed, no matter the price, just so that he can make sure that you have everything you needed because he was your number one supporter. 

you were scrolling on tiktok, procrastinating on a piece, when you scrolled into the trend and it seems after seeing that first video led your algorithm to show you similar videos 8 more times before you decided that you would try and prank jake. you often tried to prank jake because his reactions were always cute and dramatic but you could tell whenever he was able to catch on so for this one, you prepared yourself. going over a small script in your head about how you would say it and what responses you would have for whatever jake could possibly say in return. 

so, when jake got back from work you walked out of your little art studio and welcomed him home with a hug and kiss on the lips. “hi, pretty. how was your day?” he asks and when you tell him that you were stressed and a bit anxious, he immediately drops his work bag and holds you closer. “what’s wrong?” he asks and you slowly you pull yourself out of his grip so you could look at him– bad idea because his eyes seemed to carry so much love and adoration for you in them that you could get lost in them. 

“yn?” he asks and you shake yourself out of the trance of looking into his doe eyes. 

“jake, i don’t think i can pay the rent this month… baby i’m so sorry!” you respond, throwing yourself back into his arms and burying your face into his chest to show him just how bad you felt and you could feel jake hesitantly put his hand on your back. 

“pay the rent?” he asks and you nod your head against his chest. “my love, no offense but i pay the rent not you.” jake says and when you look up at him his head is slightly tilted to the side with a furrowed gaze. 

“we all know i make the big bucks around here, baby!” jake says proudly and although it didn’t offend you at all, you pretend to be hurt by softly hitting him on the chest and pouting. 

“hey!” you yell while crossing your arms. 

“it’s true!” he says, pulling you back into his arms while rocking the two of you side to side. “what are you even talking about? i thought we agreed that i would cover our rent so you could focus on getting your art exhibit together?” he asks and you couldn’t even prolong the joke anymore because he was being too sweet. 

“yeah, i know… it was just a stupid prank i saw on tiktok.” you confessed and jake laughs at you endearly. “aww… not your best one babe.” he says and this time you hit him again because he was teasing you. he let out a small “oww” even though it didn’t actually hurt. 

“come on! i’m just playing!” he says, now he was looking at you with a pout and your scowl transforms into a smile. the two of you shared a tender kiss before preparing dinner. he was your hard working and caring boyfriend and you were his “little picasso if picasso was sexy”; his words not yours. 

boyfriend!sunghoon ⋆˚ʚɞ – wc: 835

– sunghoon, although usually very quiet, was very mischieveious and silly when the two of you were alone. he often played harmless pranks on you like hiding and waiting behind corners and jumping out when you got close, placing fake plastic bugs in unsuspecting spots for you to find, or just randomly having an outburst of energy and screaming that would startle you. 

and although you would tell him that you hated being scared or surprised, you secretly loved this goofy side of him because it brings out the biggest smile on his face whenever he sees your reactions. even when you do get scared, which is almost all the time, he makes it up to you by cuddling up close to you and whispering loving things into your ear until the two of you fall asleep. 

so, when your best friend sent you the tiktok and said you should get revenge on sunghoon for scaring you just the day before, you didn’t hesitate to dwelve into the tiktok trend to find inspiration on how you could really sell the story and try to prank sunghoon the way he pranks you. 

sunghoon would be getting home from work soon, he was a part of the IT team of a large scale company and you loved how smart he was, his cute face was just a bonus. when he got the job and moved the two of you to a bigger condo closer to his work, the two of you agreed that he would take care of the rent if you took care of the smaller finances like groceries and esstentials. 

at first you were a bit reluctant because you didn’t want it to come off like he was taking care of everything but sunghoon soothed your worries and told you that if he were to ever let you take care of the rent, his parents would be highly disappointed in him for letting his lady do that. as time passed, you slowly became comfortable with sunghoon’s job and how it did provide more than enough for the two of you. you didn’t really work, you often would help out at your family’s floral shop but it wasn’t anything to sunghoon’s big tech job; something you’re very grateful for… and of course, him. 

“honey, i’m home!” sunghoon announces as he enters your shared condo and you stay in place, slightly hiding in the blanket so it looked like you had been having a gloomy day instead of running outside to greet him like you usually do. 

sunghoon quickly makes his way to your shared bedroom when you don’t come out to greet him and he finds you on the bed, in a fetal position and hiding under the big fluffy white blanket. “honey, are you ok? you look sad…” sunghoon says softly and his tone of voice tugs at your heartstrings, almost making you back out of the prank. 

you mumbled something but because you were hiding under the blanket, he couldn’t hear you so he gently pulls the blanket off to reveal you, now hiding shyly behind your hands. 

“what’s wrong?” he says, grabbing your hands and placing them in his, gently rubbing circles on your knuckles with his thumbs. 

“hoon… i’m so sorry but i can’t pay the rent this month.” you say, finally making eye contact with him, giving him sad puppy eyes and when sunghoon’s blank face doesn’t change for a moment except for a few blinks, you start to believe that you’ve totally convinced him… wrong. 

“baby… i’m gonna hold you hand when i say this– you’re broke and you’ve never paid the rent a day in your cute little life.” he says, flashing you his cheeky smile that showed his fang like canine teeth. your jaw drops in shock at his response, prompting you to shout an empty “i hate you” at him as you grab the blanket and return to hiding underneath it. 

“noo, you looove me!” sunghoon says, grabbing the blanket once again to reveal a pouty version of you. 

“i buy you those creepy furry thingies you like, i buy you all your favorite snacks, and i pay for this lovely condo so you can have a beautiful home.” sunghoon says, getting closer with each word and finally placing a kiss on your lips. 

“hey! the labubus are not creepy…” you mutter and the both of you look over to your vanity where there sat a pink labubu. 

“okay, yeah they’re kinda creepy– but i was trying to prank you because you always prank me but i guess it didn’t work.” you confess and he pats your head, brushing some of your hair out of your face. 

“don’t worry baby, your cuteness makes up for your bad pranks.” he says with a laugh before lunging out of bed, just in time as you try to lunge at him; starting a cat and mouse chase around your condo until one of you, you 99% of the time, gets tired. 

copyright 2024 - present © hoonieyun all rights reserved all writing here is fiction & not in any association with characters mentioned. if you enjoyed reading this please consider reblogging and following <3

[caramelkoo]

kiss me? jjk.

the one with gentle hands and endless kisses

genre : husband!jungkook, "i can do it myself"!reader, "i know, but let me do it for you"!jungkook

warnings : fluff, more fluff, brief smut, words of affirmation as love language, jungkook takes care of her, oc is so relatable i cried, jungkook being the best husband ever. let me know if i missed something.

a/n : hello besties, here's a little fluffy ☁️ gift for you since im obsessed with husband koo. tysm for loving my previous writings im beyond grateful. the fact that people out there are reading what i write is making me jump from happiness. enjoy and you're loved.

"There she is, my favorite girl" Jungkook's plasters a sloppy kiss on your cheek. His sweaty body connecting with your freshly showered one but you don't mind. Not when the first thing he says is that you're his favorite girl after his early morning gym session. The phrase never fails to make you turn red.

Last night Jungkook had briefly mentioned his wish to have chocolate covered strawberries because apparently, the ones you make are his absolute favorite. So here you were, making chocolate covered strawberries for him.

"I missed you" he lifts himself up on the hard counter and leans back on his palms. He attempts to dip his index finger into the melted chocolate but you swat his hand away.

"You were literally gone for two hours and get down the counter, Jungkook!!!! You're all sweaty" you warn him.

"But you like me sweaty" he gives you the same look he hits you with when you don't let him eat the last piece of pizza. Pouty and adorable.

"No doubt about it but I'll have to clean it again, honey." when the look doesn't leave his face you speak again.

"Okay if you get down now, I'll let you fuck me in the shower" you've barely even finished the remark before he hops off the counter and runs towards the bathroom.

"I HAVE THE BEST WIFE EVER" his voice trails off.

Knowing the fact that he'll not let you live it down if you don't live up to your words, you wipe your hands and join him in the shower. You let him eat you out under the cold water and then pound into you as you struggle to keep your knees from giving out.

The loud sneeze echoes through the room as you wipe your nose which now feels like the 50th time. Tiring.

When you came out of the shower you were perfectly fine. When your nose started stinging, you didn't think much of it then too. Before you knew it, you were sneezing three times in a row with a fever which only keeps getting worse.

Jungkook had immediately wrapped you up in a fluffy blanket and asked you to take a nap as he cooks some porridge for you. At the risk of sounding selfish, whenever you're sick you're tend to crave his closeness more and more. You hate it though, you know it puts him at the risk of sickness but you can't help it. He looks cozy and so so comfy, you just want to snuggle with him and doze off.

After all, he's your safe place, your own personal haven with a gorgeous smile and warm embrace and he's well aware of the fact that you're perfectly capable of taking care of yourself when you're sick, perfectly capable of running yourself a bath when you want to, skilled enough to wear that piece of jewellery around your neck.

However, he'd still run a bath for you with rose petals and scented candles, still ask you to lift your hair up when he clicks the pendant close before placing a kiss at the nape of your neck, still cook for you when you're sick and kiss you goodnight before he takes you in his arms and falls into deep slumber, still whisper into the darkness that he wishes he could take away all your pain upon himself thinking you're fast asleep.

Just like now as he places the tray, the bowl of porridge on top of it alongside your medicines, a glass of water and gummy bears because he knows that you're not fond of the bitter aftertaste of the medicines.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, he touches your clammy forehead before tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. "Feeling any better, love?"

When you shake your head, his eyebrows crinkle in worry.

"I feel like throwing up but when I try nothing comes out" your lips open with a sigh.

His face gets remarkably worried. Not like he's wearing any other expression ever since you've started sniffing and stifling. You feel like shit. Earlier in the morning he's informed you about Namjoon's house warming party and was so excited to visit his best friend. Now he has to stay here and take care of your sick self when he should be with him, having the time of his life.

"I'm sorry you couldn't go to the party" your voice is brittle and you stop yourself from breaking down right there.

"Honey no, you're more important to me than any fucking party. Are you crazy? Besides, he would have poked my eyeballs out had I gone there and told him I left you here, sick and all by yourself."

The kiss that he places on your forehead is soft and tender causing you to close your eyes and bask in the love behind it.

"C'mon, get up and eat something. You'll feel so much better with your tummy full."

When you find it hard to get up all by yourself, you know it's more than just a cold now. You feel a headache coming.

Jungkook helps you sit up against the headboard as he picks up the bowl, taking a spoonful of porridge and holding it out for you to eat.

Your lips quiver and a sob threatens to break out, you hang your head low so he can't see the tears forming behind your droopy eyes but fail when your chest shakes with a sob.

Jungkook panics, quickly placing the bowl on the tray beside him, "Hey, what's going on? What's happening?"

You face him and open your arms, "Can you hold me for a while?" You're crying now. Tears stream down your face as your nose stings even more.

He wastes no time to take you in his arms, hands rubbing your back and then holding the back of your head as if he's cradling a baby. Holding you oh so gently like you might break and maybe you will. Maybe you will break because of how overwhelmed you are and how lousy you feel.

"It's alright, honey. Cry all you want, I'll hold you."

So you do, letting your head fall on his shoulder you cry out all the emotions you're feeling hoping you'd feel lighter by the time you're done. You're thankful for his silence. He understands, he always does and you understand him in return.

Your husband's hands don't stop moving for once. Constantly rubbing your back, running through your hair, gently massaging the back of your neck to release any tension. It's so funny how a tattooed hand like that which might look intimidating to strangers can be so soft and tender for you. For everyone in general, Jungkook is indeed the most gentle person you've ever known.

After what feels like eternity, you lift your head and break the hug. You lean back against the headboard as he speaks.

"Do you wanna tell me what caused that?" he asks in a careful voice.

You're still not in the space to talk so you shake your head and say, "Maybe later?"

"Whenever you feel like it, I'm here. But I wanna say something and I want you to listen carefully alright?" he waits for your nod before continuing,

"When we were about to get married, I had a chat with your father. He told me that you have a tendency to feel like a liability on people and you beat yourself up over somebody taking care of you, doing things for you, showing up for you because you'd rather do them by yourself. And then I promised him something. I promised him that I'll do anything, and I mean anything to not make you feel like that. I will manage to eat three bites less but I will never let you sleep with an empty stomach."

He kisses the back of your hands as you sniffle, scared that the tears might come back.

"So when I do things like this for you, skip my best friend's house warming party for you or doing anything for you for that matter, It's not because you're a burden. It's because you're mine and you'd do the same for me. I want to take care of you, honey. I like to. I love you the most _____, you're my everything and I can't fucking breathe when you're suffering like this."

Well fuck, the tears are back.

"Now, finish this and let me hold you to sleep" he helps you eat the porridge before you gulp down the medicines. The gummy bears follow.

With his help you lie back down on the bed as he saunters back to the kitchen, promising you to be back soon.

You're not surprised Jungkook knew the reason you broke down. You wouldn't expect any less from him and as always he has a way of making you feel loved and mattered with his words. Your husband is a gift and you want this particular gift in all your lifetimes, in every form.

He comes back with a bottle of water in his hand. He places it on the nightstand and joins you on the bed.

You stop him with a hand on his chest when he drops his head down to kiss you on the lips.

"You're gonna catch a cold" you warn.

"As if I care. Please baby, let me kiss you. You know I can't sleep without kissing you goodnight"

The chuckle that leaves you makes Jungkook's whole face light up.

"Only if you let me trace your tattoos"

"I promise" he says with the softest smile on his face.

Pouting your lips, you invite him for a kiss which he gladly places on your lip. His pillowy ones lingering for some seconds before pulling away. He kisses your cheeks next, your temples, your nose, your jaw and then finally, both of your eyes which were now damp from all the crying. Although, that didn't seem to bother him.

"I love kissing you"

When he plops back down on the bed, he pulls your entire body on top of his with your head tucked into the crook of his neck. He feels so warm and cozy, you never want to let go. He would be fine with that too.

"Honey?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you so fucking much. Let's make a baby when you get better"

"I love you too, husband. I wouldn't mind having a little one like you"

[anadiasmount]

ana babes, hot tub/late night in the pool w jude fic please? i’ll pay u in infinite kisses💋 (btw no pressure ofc!)

by the edge - jude bellingham x reader.

quick sum: above!

wc: 2.1k | masterlist | jude's masterlist

psa : HIIII IMY ILYSMM, i'm sooooooo incredibly late to this, it's not even funny... but it has been in my drafts and i needed to finish this 😔 so here's summer! jude despite it being over... small suggestive content but not too in-depth. this is also insta au + fic combined!!

———— j.b ————

judebellingham added to their stories!

19 hrs ago | 9 mins ago

———— j.b ————

spottedcelebrity

liked by: popculture, thesun, dailymail, vouge, yourbestie, and 345,901 others!

spottedcelebrity: PHEW. we did not see this one coming! it’s looking like he’s finally showing off his lady, soft-launching her on his latest instagram story! stay tuned for more update and live show at 9pm!

username291: OH?? so he was actually being fr??

user09: the way no one saw this coming (im actually dying inside…)

username39: if you look closely that’s actually me!!!! 🤗

user21: girl bye-

username49: soft launching on his story is the bare minimum…

↪️ user11: isn’t that the point tho? who cares if it’s on his story? he just made a highlight dedicated to her 💋

username29: does anyone know who she is??

↪️ user19: no, he keeps her private.

↪️ username77: we don’t know that, maybe she doesn’t want to be in the public eye

↪️ user45: apparently she’s a business student at the university of madrid…

↪️ username86: people think it’s @ynusername but she’s private on everything so no one can clear that up

user74: oh! SHES GORGEOUS ??

———— j.b ————

ynusername added to their stories! 🔒

19 hrs ago | 12 hrs ago

———— j.b ————

“everyone on twitter is going crazy,” recalled jude, stepping out of the doorway. “why?” you laughed quesionably, unlocking your phone to check what he meant. you were rushed to see his fans eagerly wanting to know who you were, as jude had soft launched you on his latest post. they had not expected that one bit, now they we’re piecing to see who you were. 

it wasn’t anything new for you, as you had been doing that privately on your own instagram. the media knew he had a girlfriend, and jude respected your wishes to be private since it tended to be crazy hectic. yet the two of you liked to read comments late at night and see how theyre crazy theories came to light. 

“he was with his girlfriend at the airport, they both arrived with hats. she was very pretty and nice as well,” you read, feeling admiration at their comment. there was very few encounters you had together but all of them were positive to say the least which you were grateful for. the last thing you wanted was to be plastered in a tabloid of you being rude or mean. 

“a fan account pinned a comment earlier today, that you were a medical student and lived in norway? I never pictured it for it to get this crazy,” joked jude, hearing your laugh as you walked over to the mini bar. “do you want a drink? or would you like to share with me?” you asked, rubbing lime around the rim of the glass so you could coat with salt. 

“i’ll just take some sips out of yours,” replied jude, coming behind you to wrap his arms securely around your waist, placing kisses over your shoulder. jude watched as a you made the drink, eating fruit slices from the container you had bought in the morning. “i don’t know what it is, but the fruit here is so much better than the one in spain?” you say, jude immediately agreeing with you and going off how here he had the best mango ever. 

“careful, it's slippery,” jude gripped your hand and helped you get down the stairs carefully, making sure you wouldn't fall like he had done the first day here. the summer sea breeze was heavenly, reminiscing the last few days of summer with your boyfriend who seemed attached to you. jude’s second season at real madrid would start soon, and you were on your last year of uni. meaning this year would be hectic and stressful. 

yet right now all you could focus on was the palm trees leaves swaing, the late night sky, and the buzz feeling from your tropical drink. 

the past few days the two of you had spent exploring and having fun, taking tours around places, going ziplining, trying new foods, lots of walks along the shore, making seashell necklace and a bracelet for jude, and ending your nights like this, in the warm pool. you were grateful the place you had chosen to travel was sorta excluded from the world, being a private getaway without the media following around. 

“you okay? you seemed distracted,” jude asked swimming towards you where you lifted your hand to remove the water drops from his face. his sunkissed face from the past few days. you had to force him to wear sunscreen, listening to jude nag and complain he would be fine.  you knew this heat, humidity, and sun wasn't like the one in spain, easily burning in the first few seconds stepping outside. 

“i don’t want to leave, like ever,” you frowned and pouted your lip, jude chuckling as he picked you, wrapping your legs around his waist as his hands smoothed your bareback. “i don’t picture you as a thalassophile, with your little beach bag and sun hat,” jude joked earning a confused look from you. “a what?” you asked with narrowed eyes. 

“a thalassophile.”

“what even is that?” you giggled, your hand scratching the nape of his neck, as jude rested against the pool walls. “a thalassophile? it's someone who loves the ocean. for someone who claims they are the smarter one in the relationship, this is proving otherwise…” jude narrowed his eyes, resting his forehead against yours, seeing the warning look you threw at him. “as the smarter person in the relationship, i’m shocked you even know that word!” you gasp sarcastically. 

“hey! leave me alone…” jude tickled you making you swarm around and swim away from him, going to the edge of the pool where he followed. “what would you do? set up a small shop and sell souvenirs?” he teased, seeing how you looked away nonchalantly. “uhm yes? but mine wouldn’t be overpriced or aesthetic shops, i would bring the culture and actual diversity. give a tiny background of my items and what not…” you shrug with a shy smile, seeing jude’s eyes never leaving yours, watching how your lashes fluttered and iris dilate. 

“why are you looking at me like that? it makes me nervous, baby…” you admit with cheeks flushed, shaking your head. jude laughs and looks away, making you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. your pulse and heart racing with one simple glance from him. “does it? i didn’t know that,” he said carelessly, bringing you back into his embrace, tucking and brushing away your hair that covered your shy face. 

“stop lying…” you rolled your eyes playfully, feeling jude’s warm hands as they ran your sides and thighs. “if i'm a liar, why aren't my pants on fire?” he joked terribley, his brum accent appearing more than ever, which made the two of you burst out laughing. “you and your jokes i swear… you think you're the funniest person ever,” you tease, hearing jude gasp. “maybe because i am?” defended jude. 

you swam back to your drink, having to pull off from your clingy boyfriend, who complained the minute you were away. you finished it, after offering jude some, hearing the ice clink in the glass, only having the strawberry left, which you took a bite of. jude watched intensely, seeing your lips around the red fruit and leave a trail behind. 

he swallowed deeply as you stepped near him, feeling your arm wrap around his shoulders, coming between his legs, your tongue licking off the extra strawberry off your top lip as you offered him some. his eyes looked up into yours, tasting the bitter yet sweet taste from the fruit as he took a bite. he stood up, towering over you as you placed the stem in the cup, your back resting on the pool. 

“you're so beautiful y/n… absolutely stunning,” he whispered, seeing upon how his words had an effect on you. you traced your hands around his bare muscles, veins decorating along his arms, as his fingers tilted your chin to him, jude crashing his lips on yours. he deepens the kiss, managing to sneek his tongue into your mouth, groaning and pulling closer to him, his hand tugging you locks of hair from the back, making you let out a tiny moan. 

“tastes so much better from your lips,” he whispered, yet he didn’t stop, and you didn’t want him to. this was so different, so intimate, driven by lust. jude knew all your spots, and you learned his. he knew how to bring you to the edge, the movement, the words. so it wasn't a surprise when he pulled away, pressing your hips down onto him, kissing down your jaw to your sweetspot on your neck, sucking softly making you shiver and throw your head back. “mhm jude… what if someone sees?” you say worriedly.

“they won't… we’re alone here, it's just you and me.”

you leaned down and captured his lips again, smacking his shoulder gently. “not so fast,” you giggle, feeling as he fondled with the bowtie on your bikini. jude gave you a playful smile, knowing his intentions wouldn't be so innocent. “what i wasn’t doing anything,” jude shrugged. “right cause you never do, and especially on this trip…” you eye him down. 

“i just want to love and appreciate my girl.” 

“you have… i think this may be our favorite trip. it's something about this place i don’t know,” you blabber off, jude listening to every word, already making a future visits for the next years to come. maybe one day bring your kids to this paradise even himself grown to love. seeing you in a new environment, with your summer glow of happiness, he could get used to it. he would drop anything, even football, just to see you this radiant. it didn’t matter if it was in the sunlight or moonlight.

“you think our kids would love this place?” jude said suddenly making your crinkle your brows. “kids? you want to have kids with me?” you say unsurely, earning a confused glance from jude who tensed up. “yes… i wouldn’t picture anyone else,” jude replied, seeing how your eyes dazed from bewilderment to jovial. “you better not, you know how i am,” you give him a look. 

“trust me i know,” jude said, thinking back to the one time a girl wouldn’t get a hint he was with you, doing the upmost right in your face, flirting, touching him, following him. it didn’t help you were deep in with tequila shots, embarrassing the girl by calling her out in public. but she took the hint.

“i’m serious though y/n… i want everything and anything for you and us,” confessed jude, pecking your lips where you turned away shyly once again. “you don’t know the amount of times i think about our future. what were doing 5 years from now, our home, kids, hell pets even! i know you seriously want a cat, i’m willing to do whatever it is to see you smiling always…” he continued, your gazed bored into each other, as in a way of sealing this moment for eternity. 

“when you won the champions league that night, do you remember what i said to you?” you ask, seeing jude think about it, and by seeing his face you knew he was bound to say something silly. “i was really drunk that night, so i don’t recal much,” jude taunted, earning another gentle slap on his shoulder from you. 

“be serious!” you threatened with a huge grin.

“if you’re recalling when you promised a lifetime with me, confessed your love, and promised me that you’d stick with me forever? that you knew it was a complete different world when i was in it? that you wanted to continue making memories with me, no matter the sacrifices?” jude recalled, watching how your eyes became teary. “yes. i remember it all.”

you sniffed while also giggling, kissing jude deeply and messily once again. you notice how jude’s breathing accelerated, tugging you closer to him and keeping you steady, making you sigh in content. “i’ll never get tired of kissing you,” you admit, kissing his nose and a tiny mole he had at the end of his brow, as jude then twirled you both around, hearing the squeal of excitement escape your lips. 

“so about our babies-”

“babies?” 

“yes babies. i want more than 2 kids,” jude said with a huge smile, seeing how you gave him a look. “we’ll have one first and then see,” you state, seeing jude shake his head. “nuh uh, i’m not having that, especially when i heard you say to your best friends you would give me 6 kids when we met that night,” jude said smirking when he knew he had caught you. 

“YOU DID NOT HEAR THAT? OH MY GOD, YOU ACTUALLY HEARD THAT?”

the rest of the night, you and jude counted the stars, he even made another drink where he repeatedly insisted he wanted to repeat the kiss you once had. you even played those silly pool games where you threw a item in the pool and one of you had to find and retrieve it, a game of 2 truths and 1 lie, and recalling your earliest memories you could think of. 

towards the end of the night you sat on the edge of the pool, watching jude do some laps before he swam up to you. you clenched your legs together, when feeling his lips trail kisses up your thighs, forcing you to open them so he could continue on the inside of them. “what are you doing?” you shakily say, seeing jude look up to you as he placed a final kiss on a tiny scar you had. 

“nothing…” jude murmured, pulling you closer to him, where you now realized how this night would end. but you didn’t complain, because you wanted him that desperately too. showing him just how much you needed and wanted him. jude didn’t fight it either, having a taste by the pool side, to then carrying you into you room where he continued to show you, prove to you how special you were.  

“gonna take care of you, you deserve it angelito mio.”

———— j.b ————

judebellingham

liked by: ynusername, brahim, yourbestie, camavinga, vinijr, sophiaamelia, fedevalverde, vogue, spottedcelebrity, and 4,888,769 others!

judeballingham: living life it's fullest along with you mi angelito divino 🤍

comments:

ynusername: EEKKK!! ILYSM 😣😣😣😣

ynusername: still thinking how sunburnt you got...

vinijr: no invite?

↪️ judebellingham: do you have a gf?

jobebellingham: literally why

↪️ judebellingham: why not?

spottedcelebrity: HARD LAUNCH? IS EVERYONE BREATHING OKAY?

↪️ ynusername: no.

trentalexanderarnold: very demure, very cutesy!

username19: hard launch? oh wow!

user38: this is actually so crazy im??????

vogue: HEY JUDE!

———— j.b ————

ynusername 🔒-> 🔓

liked by: judebellingham, yourbestie, jobebellingham, jennaortega, monetmcmicheal, spottedcelebrity, rubendias, trentalexanderarnold, adidas, glossier, and 34,897 others!

ynusername: i LOVE my man!! ily ily ily!! happy gal in happy place with my man!! EEEKKKKK!!!!!!!!!! 💞💕♥️💘💖💓💗💝

comments:

judebellingham: i can't tell if this is sarcasm or your being fr...

↪️ jobebellingham: she hates you. she CAN'T stand you! blink twice if you need help y/n

ynusername: blinks three times **

judebellingham: strawberry kissed.

judebellingham: you're so sexy, i'm so in love with you.

judebellingham: another pool night?

↪️ ynusername: yess!! 🤭🤭

rubendias: lol.

↪️ user55: tea...

↪️ username76: OH? @spottedcelebrity take a look at this?

↪️ spottedcelebrity: yikes... ruben in the comments of THE y/n??

yourbestie: imy!! eek you're glowing!! 🥹🥹

username10: omg!! she has been soft-launching him for a YEAR?

user30: so we were right...

username85: ur a smart and gorgeous queen!

user99: stop i love them so much.

[bamsywrites]

And Comes Dawn pt 10

Pairings: Sauron/Halbrand x Reader, Isldur x reader.

Word count: 3k

Summary: The tension breaks.

Tags: fluff, pining, isldur being cute, reader says fuck, reader gets fucked, uhh smut, fingering, cream pie (please pull out for the love of god), sauron is a gentle Dom, dirty talk, minor like really super minor choking, confessions of love, a lot happens okay

Notes: IM NOT GOOD AT SMUT AND DONT READ MY OWN IF I CAN HELP IT, so it's not that proof read.

It had been 3 days since you saw Halbrand, now with Galadriel in prison for sedition as well. The eyes of the Numenorians were never more distrusting of you. Had it not been for your new friendship with Isildur, you would have truly despaired. Unbeknownst to you, Elendil had been defending you and your freedom to the queen. You were beyond grateful for what their family had offered you, from clothing to companionship to protection. They had treated you with a kindness you had rarely seen and it was with no ill will or hidden intentions.

“I wish to take a year off, as my father did, but his expectations of me will not allow it,” Isildur spoke to you as you walked through the city as you had done every evening.

“It seems he only wants what is best for you, though. He cares for you, and it is obvious.” Your eyes were not looking at him as you spoke. Instead, they were focused on a group of people who were dancing. You’d never seen anything like it.

“Yes, I know. I suppose I just wish he would listen,” his gaze followed yours, and he smiled, “We could join them, you know. If you’d like.”

You shook your head, “I have never danced before.”

“I can teach you. It's not that hard. My sister made me learn with her years ago.”

“I’m afraid I’d step on your feet.”

“How many times have you run into me, too distracted by some statue or art to pay attention? I assure you, my feet will be fine.” He teasingly bumped your shoulder with his.

You looked at him apprehensively. “I suppose…”

“Come then,” he grins as he pulls you to the group. One hand on your shoulder and the other on your back. He guides you to the music, and as suspected, you did step on his feet.

“Here, watch what my feet do and match yours to my movements.”

You watched his feet, but it almost made it worse. You couldn’t help but laugh and rest your head against his shoulder. “I am no good at this.”

“No, you’re right. You are quite shit at this,” He laughs with you. It's a deep and comforting laugh. It fills you with light.

“Isildur,” You look up at him, “I am a lady. How dare you speak in such a way in front of me.” You try to keep your face serious, but your smile is pulling at the corners of your lips.

“You are a foreigner whose companions have committed sedition and violence. Yet the word shit is too much for you. What about damn? Ass? Thank the valar I didn’t say fuck.” He teased you back.

“Isildur,” you scolded him, but it was not serious, your eyes twinkling with a smile.

“Have you never spoken in such a way?” He askes with a shake of his head, “Of course you haven’t,” he answered for you, “If you say fuck right here and now, I will buy you a new dress, and the hair accessories you seem to admire so.”

You gave him a look with narrowed eyes, “You jest.”

“I am completely serious. If you say fuck, first thing tomorrow morning I will take you to a shop.”

You looked at him, brows furrowed before muttering something inaudible.

“Louder, I have to be able to hear it.”

“Fuck,” you muttered softly.

“C’mon,” Isildur egged you on with a smirk, “A little louder.”

As soon as you spoke the word, an older woman approached the two of you. “How dare you! This is a respectable establishment for respectable people. Leave. Now.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Isildur was trying his hardest not to laugh. You could tell it. He led you through the crowd, and once you stood outside, he started to laugh.

Your cheeks were as red as a tomato, lips parted in surprise, “I got us kicked out.”

“You got us kicked out,” he said in between laughs. It didn’t take long until you were laughing alongside him.

He grabs your shoulders, “Please, I beg you, do not tell my father,” his hands move to your face, squeezing it gently. “He would hang me from his ship's mast if he knew.”

“Perhaps you deserve it.”

He scoffed, taking his hands away from your face. “You wound me.”

“You forced me to say fuck,” you said in a whisper.

“I didn’t force you to say it that time.”

You glared at him, “Shut up.”

“I think you would likely miss the sound of my voice.”

You were about to speak again when an all too familiar deep voice stopped you. Isildurs' expression changed, too. You figured that Halbrand hadn’t seen you. He was talking with the forge master and showing the new crest he bore. You were confused about the matter.

How did he get released from prison and then earn a guild crest?

“I need this job, please, just one sword and I will convince you.” You heard his voice for the first time in days.

“To start anew, I remember.”

“Yes, and to prove to a woman, I am serious in my intentions.”

The forgemaster smirked, “A woman?”

“A woman.”

You stood watching the interaction, almost forgetting that Isildur was there. You had told him of what had happened in the cells between him and Galadriel and then your reaction to it. He knew this had to be hard for you.

“You know,” he spoke softly, “I know you think he is in love with the elf. Or that he is torn between the two of you. But, if he was trying to win the elves' affections, he would be asking for armor to go to war and not for a job.”

“You did not see the way he looked at her, the way he talked to her.”

“But I have heard how he talks to you, how he looks at you. He looks at you as if you were one of the valar. It is rather obvious to anyone who sees.”

You wet your lips, “I do not wish to give my heart to someone who will only break it.”

“If he breaks your heart, I will destroy him,” he teases softly. “But, honestly, if he is what you want, all you have to do is take him. It is in your hands.”

You stood in silence for a moment or two. “I would like to go to my room, to think over what you have said. I did enjoy today.”

“I know, I did, too.” He smiles and squeezes your shoulder before you walk off.

Valandil grasped Isildurs shoulder, both watching you walk away. “You're a stronger man than I. I couldn't do it.”

“She is simply a friend.”

“I am almost certain that you have the names of all your children picked out. You dream of her in a wedding dress."

Isildur rolled his eyes, pushing his friend away, “Shut up. It is an honor to be her friend.” But the sadness as he watched you turn the corner told another story.

“Come, let us get drinks. I'll buy yours.”

~

“When did you get back?”

The door had not opened all the way before you spoke. You had spent the evening and some of the night thinking over the words that Isiludr said. What did you want? It wasn’t hard to come to the answer, but it was figuring out what Halbrand wanted that vexed you. Would you end up hurt and heartbroken?

You did not want that.

But you would never know if you didn’t try. If you sat and did nothing, he would surely move on. Isildur was correct, as well, that if it was Galadriel's affections that he sought, then he would have been asking for armor. A job sounded like he wanted to stay, to make a permanent place for himself here. For himself, and,perhaps, you. It was with that thought that you found yourself outside his door.

You regretted not waiting until the morning when you saw him, loose shirt and hair dripping from a bath. Your breath caught in your throat at the sight of him.

“Early this morning, before sunrise.” He spoke, his eyes taking you in. You saw it now, what Isildur had mentioned. He did look at you as if you were one of the valar. As if you hung the stars themselves and taught the sun how to shine.

You stood there, in silence, looking at him and not knowing what to say or do. The revelation made your breath catch in your chest. Also, you had missed him, and you had felt heartbroken. Now, looking at how he looked at you, you thought perhaps he had been heartbroken by you too.

“Sweet one, I am sorry for what happened before. I ..-”

You shook your head, holding up a hand. It took a moment for the words to come, and when they did, they were but a whisper.

“Do you love me?”

He looked at you in shock. You felt like your heart stopped beating in your chest as you waited for an answer. He simply stood there. You could see in his eyes that he was thinking a million things at once. When he didn’t speak, you asked again.

“Halbrand, do you love me?”

He wet his lips and nodded. “I do,” his voice sounded broken, almost defeated. Like loving you was losing some game. His eyes lifted from where they stared at the floor and looked at you.

Any sense of self control, of decency, it all crumbled with those simple words. It was as if a magnet drew you to him. Suddenly, his face was in your hands and your lips on his. He did not attempt to hesitate. A groan that soon turned into a growl rumbled in his chest as he kissed you back. He tasted wine and smoke. It was intoxicating. Your fingers found their way into his hair as he held your face in his hands.

He broke the kiss, holding your chin in his grasp as he kept your face away from him. “Sweet one,” his voice was deep and rough. You could feel his breath on your skin.“Tell me this is what you want.”

“I want this,” you didn’t hesitate a moment, “I want you.”

“Fuck,” Halbrand groaned, pulling you into his room and shutting the door. His lips were on yours in an instant, pushing you against the door. One of his knees found its way in between your legs as his tongue tasted the inside of your mouth. Your mind was quickly becoming fuzzy, a warmness spreading through your body, an aching between your legs. His hands were frantically moving along your body, as if he wanted to feel all of you at once. His hands were calloused and rough but you enjoyed it. Just as you enjoyed the rough scratches of his beard on your face.

This time, it was you who pulled away for breath. The air between you was hot and thick. He rested his forehead against yours with one of his hands gently holding your neck. “Tell me to stop, sweet one, and I will,” his thumb caressed your skin lightly.

You looked up at him, “I am yours.”

“Do not say words when you do not know the weight of them, sweet one.”

“I am yours,” you repeated, in a moment of uncharacteristic boldness, you guided his hands under your dress and to the sticky, wet heat between your thighs. You couldn't help but smile at the way his breath hitched in his throat and the way his eyes flutter.

His fingers moved, rubbing soft small circles against your clit and watched your face intently. “Has anyone touched you like this?”

You shook your head, and the hand still on your throat squeezed gently, “Use your words, sweet one.”

“No, only you.” You gasped, his finger slid inside you.

“Fuck, do you hear that?” His finger moved faster, the wet sound of your arousal filling the room. “My sweet one,” he cooed, “fucking soaked at the thought of my cock, huh?”

You whimpered, bucking your hips against his finger. He added another one, his eyes never leaving your face, and you cried out his name. Your lips parted slightly and he took it as an invitation to kiss you once more. It was wet and rough and sloppy. He was getting just as lost in the moment, you could tell by the almost primal grunts and groans that left his lips.

His fingers never stopped, even when his lips found your neck. His lips sucked, teeth, teeth nipped, and tongue soothed all well. You gasped and whimpered at his touch. There would be hickeys there in the morning, but that was the furthest thing from your mind. His hand on your neck moved to the valley between your chest before cupping your breast, his thumb brushing your clothed nipple.

That was enough, your cunt clenched around his fingers and your body arched into him. It was a pleasure you had never experienced before, your mind went blank.

“That's it, that's my girl,” Halbrand mumbled softly, his fingers never ceasing. “C'mon sweet girl. Fuck, look at you. Look at that pretty fucking face.”

You breathed heavily. You could feel how you had coated his hands. Your senses came back to you. Your head fell back against the door, “that was incredible.”

He chuckled, his thumb coaxing you to look at him. “Pretty girl, look at me.” You did as he told you, his hands cupping your face. Your own essence smearing against your cheeks.

“That's my girl,” he squeezed your cheeks in his hand. “My pretty fucking girl. I need you to look at me, okay, and I need you to be honest. There is nothing more I want right now than your cunt squeezing around my cock but I need to know you want that too.”

You breathed heavily, that feeling in between your thighs returning, though you weren't sure it had ever left. “Yes, Halbrand, please.”

That's all it took for him to hoist you against the wall, bunching the material of your dress at your hips. He was too desperate to wait to take your clothes off. He made quick work of lowering his pants just enough to free his cock.

“Sweet one, look at me, in my eyes. If this hurts, tell me, and I'll stop.” You nodded and pressed a kiss to the corner of your mouth. One hand held your hips in place while the other gripped your face, ensuring you looked at him and only him.

The moment his cock stretched you, your mouth parted in a gasp. It didn't hurt much at all, perhaps due to the slick arousal that was there already.

“Fuck,” his breath hitched, “Fuck. Does my cock feel good, sweet one?” You nodded, “No, no, no. Use your words. Let me hear it.”

“Your cock feels good,” you breathed out.

“Such foul words from such a pretty mouth.” His thumb traced your bottom lip. “I'm going to move now.”

You nodded before catching yourself, “please.”

The first stroke made your eyes roll back. He felt incredible. You could hear the slick sound of him fucking you and it only aided in your arousal.

“You're taking my cock so well, sweet one.” He kept moving, pressing a kiss to your shoulder, soon your hips were moving to match his thrusts and your fingernails dug into the skin of his shoulders.

Something about that flipped a switch in him. His thrusts were harder and faster, and his fingers gripped you tighter. But you did not mind at all.

“You're mine,” he whispered. “This my fucking cunt, isn't it?” When you nodded his eyes all but rolled into the back of his head. You were his and his alone. You were gone, your thoughts only consisted of him. How he was making you feel. There was nothing else in this world other than his cock.

“My cunt is yours,” you repeated, your eyes started to close but he grabbed your face.

“Eyes on me, sweet one. Focus on the feeling. I want to see how good I make my pretty girl feel. Look at those pretty eyes. Those. Gorgeous. Fucking. Eyes.” He gasped, his grip on your face tight. Every word he spoke, he thruster harder into you. You whimpered and arched into him, your fingers now tugging at his hair desperately.

“You feel that cock, huh? It's yours, only yours. This is your cock, sweet one. I am yours. No one else will have me like this."

Your breathing quickened, his name falling from your lips over and over. Desperate and begging.

“Tell me you love me,” he whispered, “tell me you love me and I will come undone.”

Through whines and whimpers, you spoke. “I love you.” it was you who came first, crying out his name as white stars exploded in your vision, but he soon followed. He buried his face in your neck, and you felt the hot breath and vibrations of his moans as he filled you.

He stayed there for a moment, breathing heavily. You finally gained your senses and couldn't help but start to giggle. That was incredible. You'd never felt anything like it.

“Are you laughing at me?” Halbrand teased, his face still in your neck.

“No, no. I just….that was incredible.”

It was his turn to laugh. “I take it you're going to want to do it again.”

“Well, yes, but preferably on a bed next time.”

He chuckled and lifted his head, “I love you,” he gently squeezed your cheeks in his hands. “I love you. I need you to know that,” he rested his forehead against yours.

“I know, Halbrand. I saw you today, at the forge. I know.” You wrapped your fingers around his wrists and gently squeezed.

“The elf means nothing, not compared to what I feel for you. I consider her a friend, nothing more. You must believe this. You are….everything.”

You nodded. “I love you, too.”

He pressed a kiss to your shoulder and neck. “Let's get you a bath. Once I take you to bed, I'm not going to let you leave."

[megumimania]

connie x black! fem reader, in a connie brain rot need him real bad i fear !! likes and reblogs r greatly appreciated <3

best friend!connie who has known you since you were toddlers, with there not being a memory in his life that you weren’t apart of.

best friend!connie who always picks up when you call, whether it’s talking shit about someone or picking an outfit for an event, he’s always there for you

best friend!connie who joins you when you go to the nail salon to get your nails done, often asking for a matching design with you

best friend!connie who always pays for everything despite you constantly reminding him that you can pay for things yourself, saying that his grandma would roll in her grave knowing that he’s letting a pretty girl like you buy things with her own money

best friend!connie who likes catching you off guard when he compliments you which happens like all the time tbh

best friend!connie whose bald head makes him a perfect impromptu wig stand but when he gets bored of being your test subject, he’s quick to make you work for that wig by making you chase him for it 😭

best friend!connie who loves taking candid shots of you when you guys hang out with his captions being so ambiguous that people don’t know if you’re dating or not

best friend!connie who is your biggest hype man, always reposting your shit and changing his pfp to a pic you recently posted

best friend!connie who still calls you by your childhood nickname to this day, only saying your name when shit gets serious or when he wants to scare you.

best friend!connie who doesn’t reply when people ask if you guys are dating, preferring to let them believe what they want

best friend!connie who is the only person that knows you inside out and vice versa. he always knows when its time for you guys to head out from your body language

best friend!connie who feels slightly territorial when a guy approaches you to ask you out even though he knows you can hold your own

best friend!connie who always helps you detangle and style your hair when its wash day (i wish someone could do this 4 me omds 😔🙄)

best friend!connie who puts on your bonnet on your head when you’re too tired to do it yourself

best friend!connie who stays over at your house so much, he practically lives there, i mean he literally has a spare key to your house

best friend!connie who is always eating your food like damnn 😭

“con, how the hell have you been here for 3 days and managed to clear out our entire fridge??” you said staring at the fridge dumbfounded

“im a growing boy sweetheart i gotta eat! plus you know I’ll pay your mama back for the food i ate anyways” he replied with a smile

“i’m a growing boy, my ass.” you muttered to yourself storming out of the kitchen.

(dw connie bought you wingstop later that day to make it up to you.)

best friend!connie who will ride for you until the very end because you are one of the people outside his family that he actually cares for

best friend!connie who loves you more than you know and is grateful for your presence in his life

[mymoshangthoughts]

i knew with my pattern of fandom it was inevitable before i became obsessed with the og owners of the bodies. i was already highkey obsessed with shen jiu, but i knew it would be only a matter of time before i started to hyper fixate on og!shang qinghua, but man, when it hits, it hits me like a freight train lmfao

i should rlllyyyy stop reading transmigration stories, this always happens to me pfff

gonna just obsess about sibling au's, as is my normal comfort food, and curse the author for not giving me their fucking NAMES so that i could just say "shang jingqi" and have everyone automatically know that i mean og!shang qinghua, the same way that i can just say shen jiu (very fucking grateful i got that at least man)

that said, not necessarily sold on "shang jingqi" as a name for him 🤔it was just kinda a random name i threw out for convenience sake. i saw "shang hua" and "shang houhua" and that one could work, altho im not 100% sold idk

this is why i just wish there was a damn canon name for me to obsess about 😭i overthink fan-names A LOT and i just want to have a canon name. or at least a super commonly accepted fanon name urrrggghhhhhhhh

and like

it's the worst with shang qinghua oki

because it's not even JUST trying to figure out a birth name that satisfies me. because it's like, three fucking names i need to figure out

og!shang qinghua's birth name

airplane!shang qinghua sibling au birth name

airplane's og name from his og world

technicalllyyyy i can prolly combine the last two (and i intend to) but it's still kinda this nagging plot hole in my head that BOTHERS me, because obviously he would have a different name!! oargjauhtiehri

until i see something better though, my answers are gonna be

shang jingqi (no meaning to this, head empty, jingqi is a cute name and i like him so i gave him a cute name)

shang feiyu (yes im trying to be punny with "fei" being from "feiji" (airplane), altho not using that character. i miiiight wind up leaning into the pun 100% and just go with feiji even tho thats a really fucking weird name, maybe make the excuse that the system is making fun of him)

????????????

i might just lean into airplane can't remember his og name because man, this is giving me a headache. istg i have not have been this frustrated since the time i was trying to figure out twin names for lcf twin!cale au's. and like, i had a lot of names to choose from back then! the big problem back then wasnt that the characters didnt have names, but rather that og!cale didn't "own" any of those names in the eyes of the fandom so it created confusion lolol

anyway im getting off point

back to babbling about og!shang qinghua sibling aus

i'm thinking of three types i wanna explore

twin au's. already dipped my toes in it and i like twin aus. it's my normal go-to for this sort of thing lol

older brother og!shang qinghua. ngl, people sold me with their fanart LOL im a weak man to adorable fanart oki

adopted brother au: oki bear with me, but what if baby airplane just gets... dropped into pidw with no family and he gets adopted by one of his scummy canon fodder villains? no blood relations for reassurance (not that airplane gets all that much reassurance from blood relations) just some one who has no obligations to him, who airplane KNOWS has a shitty personality, choosing to adopt him and take care of him? get found family'd, idiot! i just love airplane being the family that someone actively CHOSE

oki so the next thing i need to consider is og!shang qinghua's personality, because lbr, the barebones we get from svsss is noootttt a lot lmfao (og!shang qinghua extra when?). butttt from what we do know, he's supposed to be the sort of person who would work for two bosses, backstabbing either one or both of them

there is actually the potential for og!shang qinghua to be a bit of a su xiyan in this regard 🤔because of the lack of information we have, it's possible he could have actually been a double agent working for cang qiong while pretending to work against it. im not sure i like this path, bc im ngl, i kinda like the characterization of him being a self-serving greedy worm (i have a weakness for characters who are like this okay). but it's worth considering. he could also be playing the game from all angles. cang qiong think he's infiltrating the northern desert on their behalf, mobei-jun thinks he's infiltrating cang qiong on his behalf, and ultimately, og!shang qinghua is 100% his own man who's backstabbing them all LOL

there's also the uncle of it all to consider. linguang-jun is the most viable ally for anyone who might want an upper hand against mobei-jun, and if og!shang qinghua is gutsy enough, he might consider working for him

there's also the possible iteration of him thats 100% cowardly victim who literally never had a choice in any of it and died pathetically after being betrayed by everyone. again, the lack of actual canon info about him makes this possible? and it wouldnt not match up with airplane's pattern with tragic villains. that said, im not a fan of this route bc frankly i'm here for villain-fucking, not for "he was actually the most uwu baby of them all!!!" but i gotta acknowledge the possibility of this category, to actually take into consideration og!shang qinghua's personality. if we think of airplane's pattern with villains tho, none of them are absolutely innocent or kind. shen jiu is undeniably a victim of his circumstances annnnnddddd he also tried to rape ning yingying, so clearly he's not a good dude

there is also a line in the novel where shen yuan says that "shang qinghua was written the same way as shen qingqiu", specifically with regards to being lustful. so it's very likely that og!shang qinghua is into brothels and sex and might be a bit of a horndog

so

with consideration to the above (and anything i forgot that people wanna remind me of because i have the memory of a peanut) the things i wanna consider for his personality are

self serving and greedy (personal preference but it's canon compliant so shhhh)

slutty in at least one way (very likely brothels considering the context and very likely hetero in those slutty ways)

a very good liar (a necessity of the position of a double agent)

good at logistics (thats how you become the an ding peak lord after all)

probably has a tragic backstory (as is airplane's penchant with canon fodder villains)

had a bad relationship with mobei-jun (otherwise canon events dont make sense lol)

alright then theres shipping thoughts to be had >:D bc im shipping scum and this is who i am inside

theres the obvious og!moshang and im definitely here for that, but my airplane x mobei jun obsession is currently consuming me from the inside out sooo lolol so very likely to do some ot3 shenanigans with them at the moment if anything, which works for aus where theyre not related, but since im crawling my way down the shang sibs rabbit hole (and im just not much of an incest shipper lol), i'll table that one for now

shen jiu is worth thinking about, put my slutty canon fodder villains together and see what happens >:D

liu qingge could be hot (also ot3 with liujiu cuz my obsessesion with liujiu is only matched by my moshang obsession LOL). definitely love pairing liu qingge with morally corrupt characters who make him scream "WHY DO I LIKE YOU?!?!?"

sha huling might be kinda hot ngl, i could see them scheming together and also og!shang qinghua resenting the fuck out of luo binghe that he's got the woman of his dreams on retainer and she aint even his main squeeze

wei qingwei is a particularly tantalizing option bc if he was also in charge of the rescue party in pidw, then theres the potential for og!shang qinghua (in contrast to our lil airplane) actually feeling super relieved to see him and developing a really cute "my hero" crush on him~ this is something i will definitely percolate on. might become my fav pick tbh bc the more i think about it, the more i like it >:D

luo binghe is also potential, tho it doesnt fizzle in my brain the same way that bingplane does lol. but i could see potential there

zhuzhi-lang would be pure cracky "i like these two characters so i think they should kiss" LOL. but bear with me, the terminally loyal zhuzhi-lang paired with the terminally disloyal og!shang qinghua equates to a lot of conflict and i am HERE for that oki like the sheer incomprehension of "why the fuck would you be loyal to them at the cost of yourself?? are you stupid?" vs "how can you be such disloyal scum??? what is wrong with you?" (except politer bc zhuzhi-lang lolol) is a combination of contrasting values that i adore to see in a ship

obvs theres airplane x og!shang qinghua and again, i'm here for that, but im currently in sibling au hell so i'll table that for later, but believe me that i see it

qi qingqi, look, my only justification for this one is "it would be hot" and i stand by it LOL

thus far, upon considering my options, i still think i like wei qingwei the most but thats mainly bc i have a canon basis to branch off of and while i love crack (clearly) i also like having a jumping off point. after that, i think it's a tie between zhuzhi-lang and sha hualing (those shang bros sure do love their demons LOL)

conclusions:

og!shangqinghua's birth name is shang jingqi

brother aus are very good, airplane is the best bro a villain could have

he is a greedy, lying, and self serving person and also at least a lil slutty with a tragic backstory

he should totally fuck wei qingwei, zhuzhi-lang, and sha hualing

i am satisfied with my considerations lmao altho i'll prolly make a whole post about how i envision the sibling dynamics between the shang bros because i have THOUGHTS

[dirtybitfic]

Taken in Pt.1

matt x y/n

Y/n's dad suddenly passes , her dad left her everything in the will and left his business in the hands of his dearest friend ... but the business isn't all he left in his hands

Yesterday was my fathers funeral . I never thought that id loose my dad so young I guess I thought he'd always be around when I needed him . He was healthy and active which is why this sudden death was such a shock . My dad was my best friend , he loved me more than anything in the world and I the same , he may have been a hard working man but he was always there for me no matter what . He was a single parent to me since my mother passed from cancer when I was four, I know it was hard for him but he did the best he could and I couldn't have asked for a better dad.

Now that he's gone I just feel empty , like nothing matters . I decided not to finish out my senior yer of high school which my father was fully supportive of . I hated school , I was never good at it and it effected my mental health terribly . My father was very rich and now I guess... I am which is kind of scary . I enjoy art , painting and sketching is the one thing I am good at . My father loved coming home and sitting with me as he told me about his day and I would just paint and listen . My father told me " Me amore , if school isn't something you enjoy and you'd rather spend your time home painting and doing what you love I am in full support , I just want you to be happy and have a fulfilling life and if this is it then I am happy too" after that conversation he pulled me out of school and bought so many art products I couldn't run out even if I tried .

I found out during my meeting with our accountant that my father left me everything , the house , the money , the cars , the jet .... which I am grateful for but what could I ever do with all of that at 20 years old . The one thing I was least expecting was to find out that my father left his multi- billion dollar company to a man i've never met .... well evidently I did but so long ago I couldn't remember . Even more shockingly my father had out in his will that if for any reason he passed before I was married or had a family of my own that he wished for me to live with this friend of his .

So now I'm packing away my life to move to Oregon . Im so nervous only because I haven't seen my fathers friend since I was probably 4 years old , i'm not very good with people i'm introverted and quiet. If I had the choice i'd stay here and live alone , sure id feel a bit sad and very lonely in the house without my dad but id feel comfortable in my own space . I know my father wouldn't want me to live with his friend or leave his company with him if he didn't fully trust that he would take very good care of us. My father was very selective with who he was close with and trusted , i'm the same way so I know that he must be a very good person which I guess settles my worries a little .

My fathers assistant has been here helping me with everything , she is in a way a motherly figure to me . Lina has been my fathers assistant since I was about 6 so she's been a very important person in our lives . She helped me get ready for school and with my school work when I struggled and my dad wasn't able to help , she drove me to school and would take me shopping . All around she did everything a mother would and i'm sad to have to leave her behind. " Y/n I know this is all scary for you but I know Matt well . He is a bit intimidating and cold but thats strictly when we talk business , your father loved him as a brother . He trusted him with you for a reason okay , i'll always be a phone call away you know that" Lina says as we pack up the last couple of things . " I know I just... I hate leaving you Lina , you're the closest thing i've had to a mother and it breaks my heart that I have to move away . This house , the place i've lived my entire life ... I know It will always be here and you'll take good care of it but its bittersweet leaving you know" I say as I try and hold back tears but fail when I see her crying . " I know my sweet girl , I hate that you have to leave but on the bright side this could be good for you , new environment and new things to inspire you for your art " she says and I smile " yeah you're right I know it will all be okay " I say as we share a long hug and the moving truck pulls up in the driveway .

After loading up all my things , lots of huge luggage filled with my clothes , shoes , makup , art supplies , easels, canvases, room decor, books and other random shit. Evidently Lina and Matt talked and he asked what I like my room to look like and the furniture designs I like , then went on and entire shopping spree to make my room and his house to my liking . It was sweet of him but I feel bad he went through all the trouble for me . We load my shit onto one of the many big ass private jets my dad owns ... well I guess I own now , and i'm off to Oregon. Evidently we're flying into a small airport Matt had built on a big strip of land he owns close to his house . I put my head phones and put on some storm sounds and decide to just sleep though the flight .

I get shaken awake by one of the staff I know well " Hey y/n were about to land sweetheart " she says softly and I smile " Thank you Lisa" I say as I slide off my headphones and put then back in the case and put them in my bag. My leg bounces nervously as we finally land down . Im getting more and more nervous the closer we get to me having to actually get off and greet Matt. Lina did tell me he wasn't as old as my father , evidently my dad had met him when he was intern fresh out of college and the friendship blossomed from there. So I don't know exactly how old he really is but with and educated guess id say late 20's early thirties.

" Ms. Y/n , we're going to start unpacking the lower cabin into the truck but you can go a head and meet Mr. Sturniolo outside and drive up to the house with him" James our pilot says . " Okay , thank you James . Im so glad you decided to stay on staff you truly are the best pilot we could have ever asked for " I say to him before giving him a hug. " You and your father are my favorite passengers , good luck here I think you're going to like it a lot" he says with a little wink before opening the door for me . I step out into a cool breeze immediately looking out to a foggy field surrounded by willow trees and what looks like a garden maze . I walk down the stairs carefully before looking around for said Matt.

" Y/n" I hear a deep voice say to my right and I practically snap my neck to see ... the hottest man i've ever seen in my life . " M-matt?" I ask shakily . " Yep thats me , how was the flight ?" he asks as he walks closer taking the bag that i'm holding then ushering me to a car. "Good I slept the whole time " I say smiling and he returns it " Im glad to hear that , were going to head up to the house so you can get settled in okay , after they bring all your luggage up and we get it inside we can go get some food if you'd like" he explains and I smile and nod " That would be great, I didn't realize how hungry I was until you mentioned it " I say with a small laugh as my stomach grumbles.

He starts up the car and I have to hold back my gasp from how loud it is , his car is so sexy . We pull away from the landing pad and start down a misty road lined with trees and intricate lamp posts . I look out the window taking in the new place i'll be living for, at this point ,I don't know how long. It's actually quite beautiful if i'm being honest. The amount of deep thick wood and forest , filled with deep fog and animals lurking in the shadows , its quite alluring . I cant wait to paint it , show the true darkness and dancing shadows in the fog , the vibe here is matching my mood lately .

We finally reach a gate and make our way through and up a long loop drive way , he parks and turns off the car . He gets out and comes to my side opening the door for me and offering me his hand to assist getting out , another kind gesture that makes me smile. " come ill show you to your room" he says as he keeps hold of my hand leading me up the stairs and through the large black door into a grande foyer , it feels like a mid evil castle inside and I love every bit of it. " Wow your house is ... just wow " I say as I look around , my mouth hung open as I follow every detail with my eyes. " Thank you but it's your house too now don't forget that , I want you to feel at home and comfortable here so if there is anything you'd want to change I have no problem doing that" he says smiling at me I return it with a small nod. He leads me up the beautiful stair case and into a long hallway going to the right instead of the left. " Your room is just down here " he says leading me down the long checker floored hall . I love the vibe of this house its very dark but it has the perfect gothic victorian look. " here you are " he says as he drops my hand and opens the door for me , I smile as I take in my new bedroom . It's perfect , the dark rich blue walls that almost look black, all black furniture and bedding god I love it. " Oh my god I love it " I say as I turn to him smiling . " Oh thank god I really tried my best to make it exactly how you'd like from what Lina told me but... if i'm going to be honest I was scared you would hate it" he says smiling softly at me jokingly wiping sweat off his forehead. " No really its perfect I love it , thank you for you know ... putting in that much money and effort for me to feel comfortable here it means a lot" I say wanting to give him a hug but i'm to scared to initiate it. He opens his arms for me and I immediately hug him .

It feels ... safe and warm . His broad shoulders and muscles tensing as he holds me tight makes me almost want to cry. I hold onto him like my life depends on it . Feeling a mans touch , a mans hug makes me miss my father even more . My dad gave the best hugs so having that feeling again has tears falling down my face in seconds . Matt shushes softly as he runs a hand softly over my hair and holds my head closer to his chest letting soak his shirt with my salty tears . " I know sweet I know let it all out" he coos making me cry harder as the emotions finally hit me . He slowly backs us to a chair as he sits pulling me with him . Im cooled into a ball on his lap as he rocks me softly as I let all my emotions out . It does feel a bit weird to be rocked and on a mans lap crying at the ripe age of 20 especially a man I barley know but... it feels right and I feel safe .

I must have fallen asleep because I wake up in bed hearing quite shuffling somewhere in my room. I sit up looking around finding Matt putting away clothes into the large walk in closet in my room . I sniffle making him turn around to look at me . " Hey sorry did I wake you ?" he asks and I shake my head " How long have I been asleep ?" I ask and he looks at his watch " About 9 hours" he says smiling at me " Oh shit i'm sorry , we were supposed to get food I didn't mean to fall asleep" I apologize feeling bad I slept through the night . " No its okay , you wore yourself out crying and you obviously needed the sleep " he says as he hang up a couple of my sweatshirts in the closet . " yeah I guess you're right... I haven't been sleeping well lately" I say running a hand through my messy hair and yawning . " Well what do you feel like doing today , we can go get some breakfast, cook here , watch a movie, go into town and walk around ... whatever you want to do " he says and I smile thinking over the options . " I kind of feel like going for a long walk actually and maybe some coffee" I say and he nods "Done and done , I'll let you get changed and stuff and you can meet me downstairs in the kitchen when your ready" he says smiling and making his way to the door " Hey Matt" I say softly and he turns " Yes" he says quietly " Thank you " I smile and he tilts his head smiling " For what?" he asks and I shrug " For letting me come live with you , for being so kind , making this room perfectly for me and letting me cry lat night ... I know this probably throws off your normal day to day life and having a girl in your house is probably a lot to adjust to so really just thank you" I ramble on and he smiles sweetly " Of corse y/n , your father made it clear to me from when you were young that if anything went wrong he wanted me ti be there for you and I made that promise to him 10 years ago and I intend to keep it for the rest of my life , I know this all seems scary and is a lot to take in but all you need to know if i'm happy your here and you are not a burden to me " he says and I smile as I choke up at his kind words . " Okay i'll let you get ready now " he says as he steps out and closes the door . I throw on some flare leggings that are lined with fleece and out on a thicker off shoulder sweater and some fuzzy socks . I find my make up and toiletry bag and head into my large bathroom . I wash my face and do my skin care and putting on bit of makeup , eye liner, blush , a but of bronzer , brow gel and some light brow mascara . I run my hands through my hair quickly then head out of my room to the stairs and take them down . Im not exactly sure which way the kitchen is so I just wander to the left hoping its the right way. The further I get I start to hear nose and get hopeful i'm going the right way . I take a right turn into the kitchen and see Matt at the long island making some coffee . " Hey " I say softly as I approach him . " Hey , I heard you like espresso so I made you like a um... what do you call it oh Carmel macchiato or at least I tried to " he says as he hands me the ice cold coffee and I smile " Thank you " I say before taking a sip , I cant help the moan that slips out of my mouth as I close my eyes . " Good" he asks laughing at my reaction " Best one i've ever had" I say smiling at him " Oh that cant be true you're just being nice" he says shaking his head smiling " No seriously it's really fucking good" I say and he smiles " Good i'm glad you like it" .

After finishing my coffee Matt gives a bit of a hard time about me needing to put on warmer clothes if we're going to go for a walk . Some could even call it a small argument .

" You're going to need some warmer clothes if were going for a walk" he told me and I laughed " Oh come on ill be fine its not that cold" I told him and he shook his head " Yes it is y/n it is 48 degrees outside right now , you need to put on warmer clothes " he told me with a stern look " I don't want to i'll be fine " I told him crossing my arms stubbornly " If you don't put on warmer clothes were aren't going of a walk" he shot back with a glare and I laughed " Are you serious right now" I asked him and he shot me a look " Yes now go upstairs and change" he told me before pointing to the hallway and giving me a hard glare . " Wow one day in and your already ordering me around like your my dad ... I don't know who you think you are telling me what to do i'm not a child " I spit back with attitude which didn't seem to make him very happy " Your living under my roof until that changes ill tell you what to do and you'll listen is that understood " He has said to me in a tone that had me fuming . " Oh your roof now right right you know what . fuck . you. Matt " I had growled back at him before running out of the house and onto a path leading into thick foggy woods.

Now I seem to be lost and im fucking freezing . I am now realizing running away into these woods wasn't the bets idea . In the moment I was angry with him ordering me around so soon but ... now that use been out here for probably 2 hours I wish I had just listened to him and put on warmer clothes. The further I walk I start to see water in the distant fog . I reach the small clearing , i'm met by a small little pond swamp type of thing . I look to my left and see a grave heard in the distance and decide to wait out there till I either decide to magically find my way back home or some one to somehow find me.

I reach the grave yard and a chill runs down my spine , its slowly getting darker and more foggy creating a creepy vibe over the surrounding area. I would normally think this was beautiful but right now , i'm scared and cold and very much regretting my decision to run away. I find a small bench to sit on . I sit and think about how terrible my life is going as of right now. My dad just died last month , I up routed my entire life here, I have no friends , I know no one here and I just got into a fight with the only person who seems to care about me here .

The longer is sit here the more scared I get. I swear I keep hearing sounds around me , crackling branches , whispers in the distance and animals howling . The fog has become thick blurring my line of vision in every direction . Now that I think about it , I might have matts number in my phone . I bring it out of my pocket and look through my contacts searching for his number . I fine it and immediately dial praying to god he picks up , just my luck my phone is a bout to die which makes this situation that much worse. After 5 rings he picks up . " Y/N WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU IVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR 3 HOURS" he yells through the phone sounding angry but also worried " A- a graveyard , I got lost I don't know where I am and i'm scared " I rush out and I hear him sigh through the phone " Its okay I know where you are , stay there okay ill be there as fast as I can " he says as I hear tires screech in the background . " o-okay ... i'm sorry Matt I didn't mean to get lost for so long " I say quietly as tears threaten to spill . " Its okay I know you didn't mean too , i'm sorry for yelling I was just worried " He apologizes his tone calm now. " We will be having a talk when we get home okay , i'm not mad we just need to set some rules" he says and I sigh " Yes sir" I answer not even realizing how weird it was , i'm so used to saying it to my dad when we would argue and it just naturally slipped out . I hear him clear his throat before speaking "Okay i'm pulling up to the gate just look for head lights okay" he says and I look around " Okay I see them i'm walking to you now" I say as I get up and start towards the lights in the distance .

The second I reach the door I open it quietly claiming in not looking at him out of fear. " I was really worried y/n " He says as he starts driving away " I- I know i'm sorry I won't do it again" I say before a tear slips down my cheek . I feel terrible for the way I acted towards him , I mean fuck he took me in and this is how I thank him on the first day of living together .

We drive in silence until we park in the drive way and head into the house . " Come to the living room " he says and I follow behind him quietly . He sits in front of the fire place that currently has a crackling fire immuring heat into the room . I sit next to him on the floor curling my legs to my chest and resting my head on my knees . " so first things first . i'm sorry for ordering you around this morning , I didn't mean to act like I did and i'm sorry , second that can never happen again you could have seriously been hurt out in the forest all alone and third we need to talk about some other things so we can keep this from happening again" he says and I nod along " I accept your apology and i'm sorry too , I over reacted and worried you and that was not what I wanted to do , I guess I just... i'm not used to being reprimanded like that and I blew it out of proportion so again i'm sorry and any rules you set I will obey from now on I promise " I say and look over at him to see him smiling , I smile back and he puts an arm around my shoulder pulling me close to his side .

" Okay here are a couple ground rules , If I tell you to put on warmer clothes to go outside don't fight me on it i'm doing it for your own good , no wandering around in the garden or woods unless I know your going and you share your location in the case you get lost and I need to find you , last communicate your feeling with me so we can avoid situations like today I don't want to fight with you its not beneficial to either of us and honestly it feels wrong reprimanding you as If your a child , you're an adult and I would like to be able to treat you as such okay" he says and I smile " I understand and I will do my best to obey the rules " I say and he smiles " Good now that that is over with , go change and well go get some dinner i'm hungry and I know you must be too" he says and I nod laughing " starving actually" I respond before getting up and jogging upstairs to my room . I throw on a sweatshirt and sweatpants and some tines shoes then head back down to meet him in the foyer.

We went and had some good food and talked a lot about my dad and Matt seemed to be very interested in my interests . " I know you love painting so I took it upon myself to covert one of the rooms into a art room for you , i'll show you when we get home " he says smiling kindly at me . " That very kind of you" I say smiling at him feeling an over whelming feeling of comfort but also sadness. We head home after a while and i'm practically running into the house because for one its freezing and I have to pee really bad. " Someone is in a rush " he says laughing before unlocking the door " I have to pee" I yell as I sprinting up the stairs to my room .

I head back down stairs after using the bathroom and getting ready for bed , wearing my comfiest pajamas that are slightly skimpy but I never really cared about keeping it modest if i'm just going to be sleeping.

I hear music from the living room and follow it only to walk in seeing the music is coming from Matt playing a grand piano that is set up in front of the large windows looking out into the dark misty forest behind the house. " Claire de lune?" I ask smiling and slowly walking over to the piano . " Yeah its one of my favorite classical songs" he says looking up at me but still playing the piece beautifully. He cocks his head motioning for me to come and sit next to him. I do and watch as his fingers dance over the keys expertly . He finishes the song and taps my thigh softly " Any song you want to hear ?" he asks and I think for a second " Sonata 14?" I say more as a question than answer . He smiles widely before nodding . The second he starts to play I close my eyes and smile listening as he plays it beautifully . I took ballet classes from the age of 4 and stopped when I was 18 . I loved it so much but in injured my foot and it ended my dancing years. " keep playing ill be back" I whisper before running to my room and finding my point shoes in one of the snacked boxes.

I run back down with them in hand smiling . Good thing this house is mostly tile and wood , meaning it gives me a good surface to dance on. This living room is so large that I have a lot of room to dance . " Blair Claire de lune again pretty please " I say as I finish tying up my shoes . He smiles and nods as he finished the last song and slowly moves into Claire de lune again .

I move fluidly as I barre quickly backwards in a line and slowly move into turns . I smile as I move with the music feeling like myself again for the first time in weeks. As I finish a turn he stops playing ad I open my eyes still smiling looking over to see him staring at me with a look I cant quite place .

I walk over to him breathing slightly hard from all of the turns I just did . " That was beautiful " he says smiling at me . " Your amazing at playing piano" I compliment back and he shakes him head " Eh i'm okay I guess" he says making me laugh and lightly smack his shoulder " Your amazing " I say and I swear I see a light blush cover his cheeks.

I take my shoes off and he gets up " Come on ill show you your art room " he says and I follow behind him down a long hall to the right . We walk right into a gorgeous sun room that is now covered in different easels and multiple different sized canvases , shelves littered with every type of paint I could ever need all organized by color .

" Aww Matt ... this is amazing t-thank you " I say as I look around feeling overwhelmed . I feel tears sting my eyes , i'm honestly embarrass by how much i've cried infant of him already. " Come here " he says opening his arms for a hug . I immediately hug him tight crying thanking him over and over again . " I want you to know I really do care for you y/n , truly I want to give you the world just like your father did , and if art is what makes you happy then I will spend every ounce I have until this room is filled with supplies to last you forever " He whispers to me while soothingly running his hand over my hair . " Thank you Matt really , I - I don't know how to thank you but I - I feel cared for and after the month I have had you've made me happy so thank you really from the bottom of my heart " I say looking up at him smiling . He uses his thumbs to wipe my tears and places a soft kiss on my head . " Oh I also installed blue tooth speakers in the ceiling so you can play your music as loud as you want while you paint " he says smiling down at me . " Won't that disturb you though?" I ask and he smiles " No for the most part i'll be in the city for work but I will be spending a couple months working from home just until you settle in fully and are comfortable enough to be here alone " he says a nod " sounds good to me " I shrug smiling at him .

" Okay I have one last surprise in the garage for you" he says and I look at him confused " Oh come on you'll love it " He says grabbing my hand and ushering me towards the garage . We walk through the house and as soon as we reach the door he covers my eyes with his hands " Okay open the door and then carefully walk down the steps , there are 5 steps okay?" he says and I nod smiling feeling excited but scared i'm going to bust my shit . I carefully walk down the steps and sigh when I reach level ground " Okay take 6 step forward and then stop " he instructs and I do . he pulls his hands away and I open my eyes , jaw dropping when I see the most beautiful convertible . It's my literal dream car . " MATT WHAT this - this cant be for me ..." I say as I stare at him in shock " Oh it is . It's all yours" he says smiling as he hands me the keys . I squeal as I jump onto him hugging him giggling in excitement . " It wasn't all me ... your dad he um , he had told me a while ago that this was your dream car but he could never find one so I had been searching for it for a while . I found it and bought it for an amazing price but I had to have it reconstructed and fixed up but I know the red seating was the biggest part you loved so I had someone makes custom red leather seats for you " he says and I smile " Thank you thank you thank you " I repeat crying happy tears . I may have grown up with money but I was not raised like a spoiled brat . My dad spent his money wisely and never let me become the type of stuck up rich kid like so many others I grew up around . So having Matt go through all the trouble to make my room exactly how id like, remodel and entire room into a art studio for me and spend thousands of dollars on my dream car for me makes me feel so loved .

" You happy with it ?" he asks and I laugh " Are you kidding words cant even describe how this all has made me feel , I love it so much Matt thank you " I say bringing him back in for a long hug . " How about a little test drive huh?" I ask him wiggling my eyebrows making him laugh . " Okay go grab your shoes and a coat and we'll take it for a spin" he says and I immediately run giggling in excitement all the way to my closet throwing on a coat and shoes and running back down . " Woah fucking shit slow down slow down before you hurt yourself " he says as I run into the garage so fast I barrel into him kicking us both off of our feet . He groans from the fall to the floor as I burst out laughing apologizing through tears from laughing so hard " S-sorry oh my god I d-didnt mean to take you down like t-that" I say still laughing . " Alright crazy lets get this bad boy started up" he says as he helps me up from the floor and opens the car door for me . I climb in and wait for him to get situated in his seat before I turn on the car and smile eyes widening when I hear the loud engine start.

We get out of the driveway and onto the road and i'm immediately smiling as we Cruze through the windy roads . Its dark and a little foggy but I just cant believe i'm driving my dream car .

Matt had some upgrades done to the radio so I have a touch screen , navigation, back up camera and bluetooth. I connect my phone when we hit a stop sign and start playing Rx queen by deftones . He looks at me shocked " what?" I ask smiling and he smiles " Just shocked you listen to this band is all" he says laughing . " I loveeee deaftones" I say and he smiles " same " he says before turning it up . After driving around for probably 30 minuets were pulling back into the garage .

" Im exhausted" I say with a yawn and he nods agreeing " Me too , need anything before we head off to bed ?" he asks and I think " Mm some water and then I'm out" I say and he nods heading to the kitchen to fill up a cup for me . He hands me the ice cold water and gives me a quick hug before heading to bed. " I'll be up early , I have a couple important zoom meetings tomorrow so i'll be in my office most of the day but if you need me come and knock alright" he says and I nod " okay good night" I say waving good bye as I make my way to my room .

The second I hit the bed and rip off my clothes , shoes and socks and am left in just my under wear I turn on the fan and put on a movie I don't care about , I turn off the lights and fall asleep .

Ive only been here three days now but i'm already starting to like living here . Its a beautiful state and Matt has been amazing . Im excited to see more of what Oregon has to offer and growing closer to Matt hopefully building a better relationship and feeling comfortable to fully be myself around him .

[i-am-nefelibata]

HAIIIIIIIIIII

Let me start with saying you are SO SO SO talented and your work is SOOO beautiful and amazing and wonderful and oh my fucking GODS

You are a wonder

And your art style tastes like cinnamon buns :]

I love PJO and HOO with my whole heart 💗 and im so happy I see people who do as well

I wish you the best of health and happiness and my art block passes by quickly for you

As an artist I stare in awe at your work

I’m proud of you

You may be talented but hard work is still what made you the artist you are today

I’m so genuinely happy for you even if I don’t know you

Sorry if im being so out of…. I don’t know

I’m a poet and an artist so I tend to be weird in a compassionate way I guess

I have a fear of people but seeing artists and poets and wonderful people making art in many ways just inspires me to say “wow you are amazing” even if im scared shitless right now 💀

If I’ll ever right English poems I could sent you one if you’d like :]

Okay im done ranting I promise

With much love and respect

- Ray of midnight storm ⛈️

Hi Ray of Midnight Storm 🌧️,

Wow, your message truly made my day! 🥺 Thank you so much for your incredibly kind words. I’m honestly speechless, and I’m so grateful to have connected with someone as passionate and caring as you.

I use my art as an escape method to my problems and seeing people enjoying the one thing that I feel myself doing brings my heart a lot of warmth.

Knowing that my art resonates with you in such a way is beyond encouraging. It’s people like you who inspire me to keep creating, even on the days when inspiration feels distant. Your words have such warmth and sincerity, they really mean the world to me. I’m so touched by the way you described my work, and that you see it with such admiration. And honestly? Knowing that a fellow artist and poet finds something meaningful in my art fills me with so much joy!

PJO and HOO are such incredible worlds, aren’t they? It’s wonderful to find others who share the same love for them. It’s like we’re all part of a big, creative community that keeps growing and thriving together.

I want you to know that your support and your words are incredibly motivating. It’s not easy to put yourself out there, especially when you’re feeling scared, but you did, and that’s so brave. I feel truly honored that you chose to reach out to me. Please know that your poetry would be more than welcome! I would absolutely love to read anything you write whenever you feel ready to share it. 😊

Thank you again, from the bottom of my heart, for this beautiful message. Sending you lots of good vibes and hoping that your creativity continues to flow effortlessly. Stay awesome, and take care!

(Sorry for the long talk)

[tweakerist]

hey guys i just wanna get something out of my chest and im gonna say it as it is, if it sounds mean, i promise you i do not mean it to come off like that. ivw gotten a few asks and even a couple of comments on nyi that rub me the wrong way. i wanna address it this way because i dont wanna make anybody feel attacked, since im pretty sure no one actually meant to cause upsetting feelings.

im deeply, infinitely grateful to everyone who read nervous young inhumans, whether if they read one paragraph and didn't like it or they're actually still here with me. knowing that ppl have given/ are currently still giving my writing a chance is so encouraging to me because i never ever imagined i could finally get over my insecurities and actually put my writing out to the world.

what im trying to say right now is that, sometimes (based on some of the feedback ive gotten, specially recently) a lot of people dont actually stop to consider that every writer is different. ive seen writers on ao3 write hundreds of fics of over hundreds of thousands of words in one year or less, and that is actually amazing, i truly admire them, and i wish i could be like them. but the truth is, ill probably never be able to match up with those writers and that is absolutely fine, because im my own person, with my own life and process, im writing in a language that isn't my own, and going through things in my personal life that thanks to my mental conditions, usually affect my way of living each day.

i understand the frustration of wanting more, of getting the ending you deserve as fast as possible, and im honored that you actually want to stick around for that, but please keep in mind im a human being and im constantly trying my best. for me, having written more than 150k words for a story in a language that isn't my mother language while living in an environment that's unstable, is an achievement in of itself, and i wish more people actually stopped for a few seconds to try to take that in. im a writer, but unfortunately that's not my livelihood, i don't get paid for anything i post and i dont want to, because i do it for myself, because i love it, and i care.

so like i said, im certain that no one who's made these upsetting comments meant to come off as negative, but id like to take this opportunity to ask you to stop and think on how you word your feelings, because i can promise you im always, always, trying to do my best, especially when it comes to writing, it's my favorite thing to do, and if i could, id finish my works 10x faster.

[borzoilover69]

(tampers with the gas) dirkjake for the shipping bingo

as you can see my thoughts on them are varied and i can write entire essays. a gas leak made my obsession with them hit an entire level i didnt know was possible. They're everything and nothing to me and i dislike most of fanon abt it and i hate this ship but also i have never cared this much about a ship in general for the doors it could open into messy straight relationship type bullshit with they give me the mic. I find myself often looking thru the tag just to see what people say on it because either theyre completely annoying and wrong or relatively right it really depends.

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING SECTION CONTAINS EXTENSIVE RAMBLING ON A TOPIC NOT MANY PEOPLE ARE INTERESTED IN:

i will both simultaneously defend this ship with my fucking life but also i will take any chance to shoot those two fuckers dead i genuinely wish jake english and dirk strider ill they are teens with attachment issues and i think the demonisation of it w/o looking at it as just a relationship that sort of is messy sucks and i think fanon should leave them the fuck alone. if given the chance i would kill both of them simply so i wouldnt have to see them at all but also i wish there were more meta writers for dirkjake bcus i find it so hard to find people that extrapolate at length abt it because its so wild to me the guilt and the feelings and the way they tear and grate at each other is so interesting to me.

every relationship is worse with them anyone that gets caught in the crossfires and tries to sort it out is basically doomed because whats probably going to happen is that dirk and jake are going to gang up to either a.) try to use the person as a weapon against the other or gang up to hurt this mfer theyre essentially doomed but in like a way that everyone is partying and those two are stuck together with awkward air.

im. not going to check over this ramble im just going to keep going. i have so much shit to say.

i hate the villainisation of dirk i hate the villainisation of jake they both suck in the way that teens and most young adults will theyre both at fault i hate the "jake never felt anything towards dirk because hes aro" yes he fucking did aro people can still feel levels of attraction and its very fucking obvious how tied up in each other they are and there are like a million and one reasons i could name it if you gave me a day and 15 pages of text.

i hope they both kill each other the idea of them being happy together is endearing but i dont want that for them most times unless im feeling especially sappy the fandom sort of ruined dirkjake for me heres my big old fuckyou to OD anyways heres a few song lyrics that make me think of them

They would literally be the subject of so much fucking talk in publications because theyre never over not even close theyre stuck together theyre going to be doing this dance for fucking years and either end up as the strangest but happiest freaks in some janked up mansion with a million different things that the normal person would think is fucking weird and strange and unnerving but which they think is completely normal or theyre just going to end up killing each other and nobody is going to be safe in the crossfire theyre going to key each others cars and send pipe bombs and poke at every single hole and flaw in the others facade blah blah blah.

people who just focus on the good parts of dirk and jake dont get it people who focus on the flaws only dont get it i think there should be more discussion but also the idea of being exposed to someone who doesnt get it is hell for me ive read their pesterlogs like so many fucking times and ive written extensively abt their selves and what flaws they have and i could prolly kick the shit out of them anyways mic drop im done.

[luveline]

I know we don't know eachother so my words may not make a difference, but I want you alive. Okay? I know you exist, you've made an imprint in the sand of my life by your presence, and it hurts my heart to actual tears that you're feeling this way. That you're going through this. Think about the people in your life. The imprint they make. Imagine they feel how you're feeling. If your favorite people felt like things would be better if they disappeared, how would u feel? Because I guarantee they feel the same about u. If they r any sort of friend, they love u like that. You are worthy of so much kindness, and so much compassion, and I so wish i could make u feel that because it's true. And I wish I could take away the struggles u are going through with well wishes but I can't. But I will pray for u, I want u to know that. You are in one insignificant person's prayers and she wants so badly for that weight to be taken off your chest because she's felt it herself and it sucks so badly, but it worth it to keep going I promise you.

img lovely please don’t be upset for me!!! Im just grateful to be able to talk about it and to know people here are listening to me right now! It’s really funny because nothing has changed and besides a bump in the road I don’t know why I feel so lonely. I feel like I’ve never felt this alone in my life! Maybe cos I just have run out of steam now to fix things. You’re not insignificant at all and it means a lot to me that you’d have me in your prayers lovely, genuinely it’s amazing that you’d care so much! It does suck but unfortunately for me I’m not going anywhere 😅 and I mean that in a jokey way I swear ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[cherry1sblog]

Warning:basically everything sexual :/

SUNOOS RED HAIR HAS BEEN GETTING TO ME LATLY

Summary:it’s your birthday and your hot pink tight dress that almost shows your ass is enough to drive sunoo insane

The time was 10:45pm and your birthday party was going amazing you were finally 20 and in your 3rd year of collage everything was going amazing except for the fact that u didn’t really well want a party and where a dress that is way to short for your liking but you wanted to make your bff happy so hear u are throwing a party witch no one would have came to if it wasn’t for your freind cause u didn’t have many or actually u had none other than seoyeon so u we’re grateful to her

-TIME SKIP-

It was now 12:30 am u drank way to many shots than u were supposed to but u didn’t feel super tipsy so u knew than when u felt that someone was staring at you witch a lot of people were more than usual maybe because I didn’t have my glasses or my hair up like always but this stare was diffrent so u knew you weren’t going crazy so you looked in the direction where u felt someone was staring and you weren’t wrong u locked eyes with sunoo…WAIT WHAT THEY KIM SUNOO IS LOOKING AT ME RIGHT NOW HOLY SHIT !!you immediately turned around fighting the urge to scream until u felt someone’s arm wrap around your waist from behind u froze and didn’t know what to do that’s until they wisperd

Sunoo:why are u so stiff

U turned your head to the side a little

Y/n:s-sun

Sunoo:u seem nervous but u didn’t seem to nervous when u were dancing with your dress almost showing all your ass

U quickly try to get out of his hold now embarrassed a little and wanting to just find Seoyeon and tell her what happened

Sunoo:ah ah no so fast 

Yn:s-sunoo please let me go

Sunoo: why don’t h wanna have some fun baby

He drags you by your arm going up the stairs and ask witch is your room

Sunoo: witch is your room

You said nothing scared somthing was about to go down witch it in fact did…

//5MIN TIME SKIP\\

Sunoo pinned you against the way kissing your neck making sure to leave hicks. Visible this is your first time so obvi u were scared until he started to play with the strap of you dress is gave u butterfly’s he push off from the wall laying u on the bed

Sunoo:hey princes can I take this off

Y/n:yes please

Kissing the top part that your bra left revealing he unclasped your bra as you archers your back he definitely was a boob guy cause the way he swirled his tounge around your bud and pulls at it was amazing

“Your so pretty I wish I could be more slow with you”

“But I’m kinda hurting and you are to pretty”

You just moaned being to dumb from him barley doing anything he took off your panties and took of his boxers I got scared seeing his size being your first time he was so thick

“W-wait sun”

“Mm baby what’s wrong”

“This is my first time”

“Don’t worry I’ll take care of you”

He slowly slid into you feeling a starch of pain

“Ah it hurts sunoo”

“I know princess I’ll wait”

He started to kiss you distracting you from the pain but suddenly that pain was turend into pleasure

“Sunoo please move “

“Anything you say princess “

He slowly went in and out you moaning him kissing you to get you to hush but it felt so good too good

“You feel so good princess “

“Agrh please sunoo omg”

He started to rub your clit and press down on your stoch to feel his duck bulging out of your rearaging your organs

“Ah sun-sunoo omg I need to pee “

“Good princess “

He went faster bucking his hips sucking on your boobs and then you came undon he was still going tho to reach his own high

“Your so tight how can you be so tight and feel so good omg”

He started to get close but you were also getting close to your second orgasam

“Sun im gonna cun again “

“Me too princess me to “

And then he came and so did you leaving you both fucked out CANT believing you just had the hottest guy on campuse take your virginity but it felt good so good you never wanted it to stop

“Princess I think you should get dressed now to celebrate and cut your cake for your party “

“And I got you something “

Sunoo Barley knew you so him getting you something was outta pokey but so was him fucking you

“Aw sun you didn’t have to”

You opend the box and there was a bracelet with your anitail on it

“Thank you I love it so much sun”

“I’m glad you like it and next time I promise to take my time with you”

Next time!??

…………………………

AHHDJFJGJG if you guys want a part two lemeee know!

[daydark4k]

Going on a bit of a rant here about some problems ive noticed about bootwt.

I feel like it's become increasingly exhausting to be in this community, and ill explain why because i have left it behind.

A lot amazing work has been done by the community to make it a safer space for minorities, but in a way this has put the community on a pedestal. It feel like everyone is expected to be an activist or they are a bad person nobody wants around. 

There's a huge difference in being an ally, and an activist. An ally is someone that will speak against shit when they come across it, do their best to educate themself, stand behind people in every way they can.

An activist goes a step further and seeks out ways to make change. Organizing charity events, going out of their way to educate others, uplift voices and being constantly posting about issues as they come out. Taking on the problems of others is not an easy thing mentally especially if you have your own issues.

Are you a bad person for not making a twitter post when some shitty cc says a stupid thing again? Bigotry is constantly happening and will continue, no matter what the community is like. But, if you were to watch the news, get overwhelmed and have to turn it off instead of tweeting about it, you wouldnt be a bad person right? The victim on the news could have their entire life changed by a tramatic event and you cant even have the decency to watch and give your empathy?

There's this overwhelming crushing expectation in this community of being an activist or else you dont belong. If you dont post wishing a happy holiday, happy heritage month, your deep supportfor the people that were discriminated against, then you dont care. People do it like its a checklist. it's not enough to simply care silently. It feels very performative as an outsider. It's always makes me feel so awful for watching ranboo and wanting to be a part of the community. The guilt is horrible. But if im not kept up with all the bad parts of it, im not doing it right.

There is also ableism. If you are uneducated or make a mistake speaking over minorities because of social issues you might experience, even if you try to be better it's held against you forever. These mistakes are valid and wrong. It's very important to have the attitude to improve yourself and see your mistake. As long as you are trying, why do people feel the need to kick you out of your safe space? I am not active on social media but i have seen this happen to many in the community.

I just hope for a space away from the hell i deal with. I just want to see and share silly art.

It's absolutely amazing the efforts of bootwt to make a good place for everyone. People work so hard and im grateful and amazed at what they have done. Racists should be bullied away. Ignorant people who do microaggressions but are willing to be educated and be better should be educated. Jumping people does not help anyone, help people realize their mistakes.

I hope the community continues the amazing work they have been doing. But lessen up on the expectations of others to also be activists like them. Communities are made up of all kinds of people. Everyone wants different things, some people need an escape from constant negativity. We should try to get along, point out each others mistakes and become better. Not put the community on the highest pedestal expecting everyone to be the same.

I hope this doesn’t come across like im a bigot trying to justify myself. I was really scared to post this but if I’m the only one who feels this is a problem just ignore me

i originally wasn't going to respond to this, but i want to break down some of this and explain it because i feel like i know what you're trying to say, but there's a lot of stuff in here that is misconstrued.

"It feel like everyone is expected to be an activist or they are a bad person nobody wants around"

you are not a bad person if you aren't an activist! i hope no one feels obligated to always be on the front lines fighting with people to make change. ranboo's community in the recent months has been one of the most active communities i've been in when it comes to rooting out bad people and making sure they know they're not welcome. if you feel unwelcome, why? you say it's because you don't want to be an activist. you don't have to be! but sending support and love to people who need it isn't activism. being educated and constantly evaluating yourself and your biases isn't activism. that's a part of living in the world we were born into that's entrenched in horrible bigotry that's been taught and ingrained since birth. ignoring these things doesn't make them go away, and the least you can do is acknowledge it and work to not continue the cycle of pain that so many minorities are subjected to. You say the community is supposed to be a safe place. how is it supposed to be safe if there are people who get away with saying and doing horrible things? its not enough to not be racist, ableist, antisemitic, sexist, homo/transphobic etc. you have to be anti- all of these things, and have a genuine love for the people who are affected.

if you feel like these things are too much emotionally for you, you are more than welcome to step away. no one expects anyone to be on the internet 24/7 or to always engage in the negative topics. hell, i've stopped talking about certain ccs and stopped constantly criticizing their actions because i know they wont change. i recognized it isn't healthy for me and there's no point to it. but when it comes to support, to making sure that everyone knows that bigotry isn't welcome, that is a very important aspect of a community. that's the DEFINITION of what a community is! and, if those of us who have followings and have thousands of people who look to us as a reflection of ranboo, don't do these things? how does that look from the outside? at this point it doesn't even correlate to ranboo anymore. me wanting people in bootwt to be educated and respectful people doesn't exist only in the online community, it exists in real life too. i want others to be aware of the impact they have on others. I would think that any fan of ranboo's would want that too, considering its one of the biggest things ranboo advocates for his fans. to be good people.

you correlated being an ally and being an activist, and you said that "An ally is someone that will speak against shit when they come across it, do their best to educate themself, stand behind people in every way they can." is that not what the community has constantly asked for? that's all minorities are asking for. you just described the community! then you say "There's this overwhelming crushing expectation in this community of being an activist or else you dont belong. If you dont post wishing a happy holiday, happy heritage month, your deep support for the people that were discriminated against, then you dont care." isnt that just being an ally, by your definition???? wishing people happy holidays to respect their culture and important days, and standing behind people who have experienced discrimination so they know they are loved and those hurtful things aren't welcome here? if you miss something or are late, that's normal! even if you after the fact say "hey, sorry i missed it but happy x hope your day was well" maybe one person will see it and will feel seen.

"it's not enough to simply care silently." im going to be completely honest. no. no its not. its not enough because being silent ALLOWS bigotry to exist. im going to link this article i researched specifically for this post, because it explains how silent racism works and is ingrained in our society

"It feels very performative as an outsider. It's always makes me feel so awful for watching ranboo and wanting to be a part of the community. The guilt is horrible. But if im not kept up with all the bad parts of it, im not doing it right."

no one expects anyone to always be caught up on which new cc was racist. we want people to be able to recognize bigotry and uplift the people who are hurt. to say, both online and in real life, when its safe: "hey, that wasnt cool, that hurts people." you shouldnt feel bad for wanting to be apart of the community. people are allowed to want to be apart of it. its a fun place to be sometimes! but also, people are allowed to distance themselves and not forgive some of the bad things they experienced.

"There is also ableism. If you are uneducated or make a mistake speaking over minorities because of social issues you might experience, even if you try to be better it's held against you forever. These mistakes are valid and wrong. It's very important to have the attitude to improve yourself and see your mistake. As long as you are trying, why do people feel the need to kick you out of your safe space? I am not active on social media but i have seen this happen to many in the community."

i do agree with you on this one. I don't like how the internet holds grudges. people aren't allowed to change and things they did are always held against them. BUT. on the other hand, if you have hurt people, those victims are not obligated to forgive you. this is a balance that isn't easily achieved in a large community, much less so on the internet. these are things that happen in all communities and its not fair sometimes.

at the end of the day. if you don't want to be an activist, then don't be. if you only want to see art and funny bits, mute terms. the more that these things are discussed and called out however, the easier its going to make it for the future. i don't think its fair to blame hurt people for making you feel bad about yourself. that's something you need to reflect on yourself and recognize why you feel that way, whether it be guilt or ignorance.

im not gonna be responding on this any further, go ham in the comments with thoughts if you want

have a nice day!

[ravenous-feast-of-love]

ill try to take care of myself, my prince.. since you’ve asked me. but i struggle with self care generally.. so im not sure if it will go so well. i get discouraged.. and i give up. ill try.

if that’s what you’d like from me, your highness.. i can block everyone else out. it would be difficult but.. i could try. as long as i get your love, as long as i get unwavering adoration and attention; i would do almost anything.

im glad that you enjoy talking to me. that makes me happy. i don’t want to be a burden to you. i definitely am my harshest critic.. but that doesn’t mean im wrong. i think im average… im mediocre. i just know how to read music, and i put in the work.. thats it. i am in a choir.. im in my schools highest choirs, and have been in many other groups that i am very grateful to be given the chance to participate in. the idea of you enjoying my voice.. it makes my heart burst. i truly think id cry.. maybe thats a little pathetic.

little mouse 🐁

As long as you try. Try to preserve your heart for those who truly deserve it. I can help you with that if you wish. Do what you can, little mouse!

Why, you needn’t do anything drastic, my dear! Not yet anyway. You can just give me little offerings, or even just talking to me suffices. You have my affections, silly~

Frankly, I love talking to my devotees as it only makes them feel closer to me. And it brings a smile on my face seeing them getting comfortable with me and trusting me, you know? A leader must be one with his people. That isn’t to say I don’t want my proper titles to be neglected.

And you are quite lucky to be literate! Me? I have no musical theory knowledge whatsoever. I couldn’t read off a music sheet if you gave me one. I am lucky you have relative pitch and a rather good singing voice to make up for those…

And it’s okay to be pathetic, sweetheart. Let it out! It makes me happy seeing me devotees unravel~ ♡

From the bottom of my noble heart,

Prince

[blazescompendium]

Shin Megami Tensei is 31 years old today.

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Yeah, Shin Megami Tensei for the Super Famicom is now 31 years old. It is surprising for me how a game that came out full 6 years before i even give my first breath on this Earth, would be so important for me and my life. But here we are.

Even after playing the entirety of the mainline franchise, and a lot of spin offs, this game still holds its position very well in my heart because it is such a unique game. First, i always loved mythology and religion, so much so that i pursued it as a career. It started when i was little, with the influence of my father who was a scholar (albeit amateur) of those fields. Religion always played a major role in my life, both for the good and the bad, and although i don't actually align with any religion at the moment, i was studying the bible in a religious school since a very early age.

So, when i found out about Shin Megami Tensei, it clicked really, really well with me. I know that it is just a game, and even if it tries a lot to be faithful, as a researcher and scholar of Mythology and Religion we got to say it not always gets it right. But it tries! And when it tries, it can achieve very good results, and that's why i love it so much.

And that was when i was a teen/young adult. Now i grew up a lot, and even started my career in those fields, and still regard this game very high.

The characters are great for me, because i love how this game can be incredibly inclusive. Your main character is not a destined hero, or magical being. It is just an average guy, going to the groceries when the world start to end. He lives with his mom, have its problematic friends, and lives an average life. He always acts like any other person would act, and even his looks are just average.

Now, the thing is that this game did not aged well, but its absolutely playable and very fun to play. The old SMT titles have this ''survival horror'' energy, where you have to take care of resources while advancing in the game. ''Should you use your complete party in this dungeon, since its dangerous, but risk to deplete your MAG stock?'' Stuff like that got me.

And this brings me to how much i hate Atlus as a capitalist company. They made this effort to show us they care about the anniversary of the franchise that kick-started their business, but did not do anything about it. Just shoved merch to the US audience, that is not available anywhere else. Us, from outside, just did not got anything from this ''anniversary''. And i thought the Persona 25th was bad enough lol. But i guess merch hoarders are happy?

And that was a big fucking lie

I honestly don't want anything out of the ordinary. If they could at least port the SNES titles to the Switch Online at the west, because its already available in Japan, i beleive we would be very grateful already. Playing and presenting this games for a new generation is a pain. And i believe Shin Megami Tensei deserves it as a series, not only for its uniqueness but also for everything this IP did to Atlus.

But hey, i guess we are getting something, right? We have a whole new Persona 5 spin off coming next week! I am so hyped to see the same characters, exactly as they were 7 years ago, in another story about teen rebellion or whatever.

Im sorry, SMT. We failed with you. But your legacy will never be gone. I beleive SMT message keeps relevant to this day, and even more so as the time passes by. The world is a very different place then it was in 199X, but still a very divided and extremist place. SMT was the only game of its time to tackle this issues.

Happy anniversary to Shin Megami Tense, as a great game as one of my favorite games of all time. I wish more people could play it at least once!

And yeah, to celebrate i think i will be beating SMT 2 tonight, after lectures!