#im so gay i fear
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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i’ve been getting hit with the want to snuggle with a guy while we watch movies and fall asleep real hard the past couple nights
#fangedfagyearning#this wording makes no sense i fear but im so tired so idc ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#basically i just wanna fall asleep while my arms are around a boy#mlm#gay#mlm yearning#t4t mlm#nblm#gay yearning#mlm thoughts#mlnb#ftm mlm#gay mlm
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It was a joke but we really got twink jesus viktor
#jayvik#Arcane#viktor arcane#They are ruining me#But life goes on & on & on & on & on & on & on & on#my magnus opus for this year i fear#im going to kms#Ekko the boy saviour of ships#Im overanazying arcane to keep me from kms#Did anyone else notice that viktor still had jayce's blanket in his final evil form#Also will viktor ever throw away the blanket#all jayce and viktor fights were so gay#But this was the best scene like it should be in museum
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this thing about josh saying all that about not judging people over the way they've acted when they were closeted, and the way buck reacts to initally finding out...and something about the whole way that there's this underlying thread of eddie's sexuality being closeted and repressed and how that affects the way he interacts with women in real time but that's something buck takes in stride until it gets serious...something about josh sowing those seeds in the image of tommy, but that could very visibly apply to eddie "i'm straight" diaz...and something about them making tommy almost an older mirror of eddie...like???? there are dots and i am connecting them
#zee liveblogs#it's actually so transparent?????#since when do straight people need to say it like this lmao#also eddie didn't even realize tommy was gay there is no way he thought hot priest was hitting on him lmao#eddie diaz#evan buckley#buddie#i fear im cooking with this#911 spoilers#911 abc#911 on abc
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love love love steddie + supportive wanye
thinking about wayne and eddie going on an annual fishing trip (like thee Munson Men Annual Fishing Trip™️) just like a little weekend away. and the first one is coming up after eddie and steve starts dating. over breakfast eddie jokingly complains about having to go and tries to get out of it. but wayne is used to his dramatics so he just gives hmms when appropriate because eddie’s whole spiel never got him out of it before and he tells eddie that.
steve watches the whole exchange with amusement when wayne asks if he’s looking forward to it. and he’s like ??? because he assumed it was just a wayne and eddie thing. and wayne is like i just told eddie all munsons must go can’t get out of it kid.
steve gets flustered and is internally is like oh??? all munsons,,,
or like after the trip a neighbor asks wayne if they caught anything and he pulls out his wallet to show a picture they took on the trip. wayne passes it with ‘here’s a picture of my boys’ and to steve’s surprise it’s a picture of both him and eddie with their biggest catch.
and just idk wayne casually accepting steve into their family and throwing steve off guard with it.
#wayne actually keeps that picture in his wallet for the fish only he stares at it lovingly#i just love the thought of wayne ‘women love me fish fear me’ munson he doesn’t play around about his fish#which makes him inviting steve to the trip even more meaningful#also the steddie picture has them BIG CHEESEING in it like imagine their smiles the equivalent of those toddlers smiles#idk i like the idea of a cute steddie fishing picture because when i think of fishing pictures#i think of those unfortunate ones on straight men’s dating profiles so like#BAM! im making that cute and gay instead#also with these lil earnest moments eddie is always in the background like damn the old man is practically proposing for me#stranger things#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#wayne munson
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it's been a long time since i posted anything 😭
i haven't been able to draw anything so i have no ideas to post :((
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Not really a question but I wanted to say I appreciate the soft and tender intimacy you show in your work sometimes. Sex is weird and really scary to me personally because of past shit, so when I can just see something be done lovingly… it’s nice.. it makes me remember that’s it’s not so scary. Sorry if that’s sharing too much, I just like your art 
ok so this ask inspired me to go on a bit of a rant, NOT DIRECTED AT YOU, im really genuinely glad that my work helps to make sex seem more fun and less scary. that means a lot to me.
so much of the time sex is shown to be like. this serious, meaningful thing, when really sex is just. normal! just as normal as not having sex. it's as regular as feeding yourself, or pissin or scratchin an itch. And like the whole world(catholicism) has just made it out to be this TERRIFYING AND SINFUL ACT. This SCANDALIZING AND POLARIZING THING!! but really like. its a completely neutral action, the same as washing your hands or blowing your nose!!! its just our bodies doing something that they (for the most part and up to personal preference) were made to do!!
like idk, i might be a hedonist but i feel like people were more likely made to walk the earth fuckin nasty smoking pot and cooking animals over a big fire than they were to like. feel bad about themselves for their appearances. or work at starbucks.
but i digress!!! GENTLE AND CARING SEX IS COOL MORE THAT!
#archie answers#suggestive#ig#im quite high#SORRY this ask was very sweet and vulnerable and i had to yell my personal gay sex manifesto at you#you are not alone in fearing sex and feeling alienated by portrayals of it and i am so sorry that happened to you#but sex can be kind and meaningful and intimate#never forget that sex is nothing to be scared of when you're with people who care about you and have your best interest at heart#go forth in this world and be happy also#i hope youre doing ok
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Watson Watson Watson Watson Watson

They belong to my heart ♥️♥️♥️
Rn I'm suffering bcz I finished The Valley of Fear but can't start the next case since I haven't got the chance to buy it yet😭😭 I believe I have fallen in abstinence help 😭😭😭😭😭
#Im reading Agatha Christie tho#while I wait#there are so many characters 😭😭#Im kinda lost#all the covers to The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes are so uglyyyy#I need my pretty books :(#acd john watson#dr john watson#john watson#john h watson#Sherlock Holmes#acd sherlock#acd sherlock holmes#my gay old men#my favorite gay old men#sherlock#sherlock holmes fanart#sh#sir arthur conan doyle#the valley of fear#granada holmes
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draw david n simon with corpse face paint

everyone lets ignore this took me a year to draw
#i dont kno anything abt. corpse paint. tbh. so if this is fake and gay corpse paint im sooo sorry i know nothing ever#also tjis took me a year bc i gen could not think of anything intresting mb anon 🫡#art#cry of fear#afraid of monsters#afraid of fear#simon cry of fear#simon henriksson#aom david#david leatherhoff#4525#david x simon#i guess.#not really honestly u can take this as them just being friends
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where you go i go
#WHAT YOU SEE I SEE#okay so#i've been listening to tma for the past few weeks#it has infected me like the plague and i am ILL oh my god.#weird how everything just ended after ep 160?? especially just five minutes in too#but im not complaining!!!#haha.#anyway this is how i cope#tragic gays will always get me i fear#the magnus archives#tma#magpod#jonathan sims#martin blackwood#the archivist#simswood#jmart#jonmartin#my stuff
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Please feed the starving nasses the vale/jlo lore
they were made 2 be teammates
#obviously this is an old ask.... trying to get through some with stuff i have lying around....#scrolled back in my inbox to get to the old jorge/vale ones and i got a jump scare. that is a lot of unanswered asks i fear#if youve sent me an ask five months ago and i havent answered im so sorry... unfortunately i cannot run a motogp blog full time#don't reblog this post... i'll get an aneurysm if it gets more notes than the actual essay i wrote#//#brr brr#//wt#batsplat responds#'equally flamboyant' is from two different authors btw#MY favourite teammate pairing singlehandedly set back the gay-lesbian solidarity movement by half a century
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🌙🪐⭐️☀️
you all know about remus being the moon, james being the sun, and sirius being the star. now get ready for peter being saturn.
saturn is the roman equivalent of kronos, which could be interesting bc saturn ate his children, yet they survived to overthrow him, and peter betrayed the potters, but the baby survived and (indirectly) caused his death.
and they're both tied into hunger in the metaphorical sense. peter is hungry for conflict, he watches it start with anticipation. kronos is hungry for power, and his fear of betrayal and distrust make him fall. peter feels overshadowed by his friends, kronos fears being overshadowed by his child. you could also see peter's need to be needed as a need for power of a type, a need to feel relevant, for someone to depend on him. but i digress.
astrology associates saturn with restriction and limitation and constriction while others, like jupiter, expand. this is peter on the sidelines watching his smart, cool, loud, popular friends, james and sirius.
saturn provides structure and meaning. it's tied to boundaries, responsibilities, commitments, and self-control. i think it also has something to do with karma in indian astrology specifically, which definitely ties into peter, how he lived and how he died.
i think saturn representing peter would be so cool, so fitting yet at times so ironic. i always see him getting passed over in these emoji sets, and it doesn't feel right bc he was one of them once, he was their friend too. what do u guys think?
#i fear i am overthinking this but#YOU GET IT#the marauders#also im not an astrology girly so if anybody sees mistakes PLEASE lmk !!! this is just what i have seen and heard abt saturn in the past#fuck jkr#harry potter#harry potter fandom#the marauders fandom#the marauders era#marauders era#dead gay wizards from the 70s#marauders fandom#marauders#hp marauders#peter pettigrew#dead gay wizards#my words fly up#greek mythology#roman mythology#mythology#astrology
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Gem’s death was the cause of Pearl’s realisation. After all that time chasing and taunting and blood, after an offer was finally extended and then brutally taken away, finally, the pin dropped. As stark text blinked into the corner of her vision, with nothing for company but the apathetic water lapping at the shore of this oh so lonely island, finally the reality of Pearl’s emotions hit her. The deep longing in her chest finally revealed its mark. The arrow set fly so long ago finally struck empty space, an absence, a still-warm corpse. Pearl, with so much love to give, and yet again, no one to take it from her cold and broken hands.
#IM SICK AND TWISTED AND SUCESSFILLY CONVERTED OIUGHGGHHHHHHHGH MY GOD. OUCH OUGH PUCH POUSIN TIC DAMAGE SJJDJDJJJNNNNNNNN#also sorry if there are any mistakes this was a 10 minute word vomit session#they are so ozimandias after the volta TRUST ME#GEM SUCH A MASSIVE FIGURE#RESPECTED AND FEARED AND LOVED#FINALLY FELLED#FINALLY SHATTRED#FINALLY LEFT TO BE CLAIMED ONCE AGAIN BY THR WORLD THAT BIRTHED HER#i KNOW ozymandias is about and evil tyrant yadda yadda i’ve studies it trust#but PLEASQSSSSSEEEE LET ME DO THIS#sorry shelly i’m killing your criticisation of mad king george and the monarchy WITH GAY BLOCK PEOPLE AJHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#gempearl#wild life spoilers#trafficshipping#life series spoilers#cal writes#cal original
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saw the promo of next week’s episode/clip of brads ex gf and guys im on the fucking floor
trying to be open minded cause i hate when fandoms do the whole “hating female character because she gets in the way of the popular mlm ship” but. she calls brad fat??? oh god i know for a fact those two had a competitive ed relationship. i am the worlds biggest gay brad truther but i need to know more about this relationship. im excited, im terrified, i must find out what is wrong with them.
im not emotionally ready but that’s okay
#im like so close to finishing my Brad fic and then i see this#something that’s gonna change his whole character it’s fine#okay yeah them making brad straight was a huge fear of mine#brad bakshi you will always be gay to me#im not completely opposed to this storyline im just apprehensive#im. trying so hard to be open minded#i need them to be fucked up for each other#give us more brad angst i swear to fucking god#mythic quest#brad bakshi#mq
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Whenever Stu and Billy get into a fight but Stu is craving blood loss, he signs up to donate blood because god, he loves the feeling of his hand going numb as he watches his blood drain out of him
#if only billy would do that to him 😔#guess who is donating blood again. its me :] i like donating blood#im gay and have schizophrenia and it feels good plus free snacks?? its like proving the world wrong and having fun at the same time#billy would donate blood but he has a fear of needles#knives are chill to him but needles- oh so scary#stuilly#stu x billy#billy x stu#stu macher#billy loomis#slashers#ghostface#scream 1996#scream movie#scream
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everything Dan said about labels in BIG was so extremely real and personal to me and people really gloss over a lot of it sometimes I need to talk about it more about it when I'm not exhausted
#he spent years trying to fit into one box or another and then he finally said ah fuck this lmfao#ppl really ignore the “basically” part of basically im gay and it's like you'll get crucified if you point out the nuance#which he himself has talked about so many times#idk why celebrating someone's gayness for what it is in its own esoteric way in their own words is some kind of erasure#i guess because of the issue of ppl calling him bi because they're stupid and don't know how labels work lmao#but that aside i love that he rly is just dan and he's comfortable with that#because it's so hard not fitting into a certain ideal#the part where he said he recognises labels are really important for a lot of people and that's very valid#but he just doesn't give a fuck lmfao like....... i felt that#i felt like him saying “being a man means nothing to me” and then talking about “you could call me she or put me in a dress i wouldn't gaf”#and then calling himself a formless blob or whatever#he literally is just dan whatever that means whatever labels most closely approximate that and there rly is something so powerful#in just not giving a fuck especially on the internet where everyone is so hyper obsessed with labeling everything#and like thinking it's weird for someone to just not really care that much about labels#i feel like so many people misunderstand what he was trying to say in that part idk#like based on the amount of dangender haters#he really just does not give a fuck i fear being a man means nothing to him even if he is one like he just doesn't care#and that's so powerful <3 to me#who up not fitting into a box and feeling lost and untethered because every label you could possibly use makes you feel uncomfortable#on some level#because even trying to be unlabeled is a label in and of itself#i need Dan's therapist's number i think they could fix me#he is just not a labels guy and i love him for that i think it's very powerful and valid when people find joy and solace in labels#but it's also powerful to me when people just don't care for labels at all hadfghgfjkllsfjl#and i think that gets overlooked a lot on the anti nuance website#i love seeing posts celebrating him for being gay gay homosexual gay but i also love seeing posts celebrating him for being a formless blob#he can contain multitudes#and we can celebrate all of that per his own words#without necessarily erasing part of him#i said i wasn't gonna talk about this and then reached the tag limit lmfao i have a PROBLEMMMMM
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