#im so fucking obsessed with that dog
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aptenodykes · 1 year ago
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Kylo gets puppied. Thousands dead millions injured dozens missing from the scene
(more versions under cut lol)
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yayll · 2 months ago
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~ a little something about Beast Dazai and his inability to let you go ~
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Your hand trembles as you're about to knock on the massive office doors and you wonder if you're about to make the biggest mistake of your life.
You got too close working for this terribly lonely man, and now you're knocking at his door with the only solution you can think of to put an end to your silly infatuations that have gone on for longer than you'd want to admit and can possibly handle. You open the door slowly, and walk into the elegant and massive office space, your eyes falling right onto the dark haired man in all black hunched over the desk, scribbling away as if he didn't hear you come in. You walk quietly, and when you reach the wooden desk, your voice comes out soft and firm.
"Dazai, sir? I wanted to speak to you about something sensitive, if I may."
You chew on the corner of your bottom lip, but quickly compose yourself when you see the face of the man you've spent so much time with, the unfortunate love of your life. if it weren't for his Maroon scarf, he'd look like nothing but a black void. A burnt Black cat. He looks up, narrowed eyes scan you as he takes a sip of his tea, replying in a monotonous tone.
"What is it?"
"After much consideration, I think.. I need to leave the Port Mafia. We've worked together for quite a while now, and I can assure you it's not about the quality or enjoyment of my work. You don't even have to acknowledge this beyond me simply saying it, I just have to confess something that makes my heart ache. You make my heart ache. I know how unprofessional that sounds and that you have no use for such affections, but I can't keep pretending. It's why I think it's time for me to move onto something else otherwise my work will become disrupt-"
A lifted finger is shoved into your face, signaling you to stop, and so you do. Of course you do. You always had a habit of word vomiting when you were anxious. Dazai is staring down at his tea, and he stays quiet for a long time, trying to pick what emotion he can mask his real outraged ones with. Finally, he flashes you an unbothered look, his eyes half lidded as they taunt you. A cruel smirk curls onto his lips.
"Oh? What an awful time for your honesty! I'm currently drowning in work and responsibilities, ones that you're supposed to aid me with, actually. Thus, I have no use for your confession." He simply says.
You can feel a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. You expected this. Looking down at your shoes, you chew on your lip again.
"I had to tell you.. Like I said, you can just forget about it."
"Well you see, that's the problem. I can't forget it. The moment you uttered those nasty little words to me, I realized I have to carry the weight of finding a new secretary. And I resent that."
He looks away for a brief second, his words are bitter and laced with what sounds like remorse and irritation.
You cross your arms and sigh, your voice comes out lower than your confidence.
"I just thought that we were... I suppose I should have never dared to assume you'd ever see me as more than a-"
He instantly leans over his desk, now placing a finger on your lip, his voice just above a whisper.
"... And though these feelings you have for me may be inconvenient, it doesn't mean that they're unwelcome."
He lets his finger rest on your lips for just a second too long, meanwhile you're frozen in place feeling like your chest is going to collapse in on itself. His voice becomes softer.
"Sit, please."
You sit down, now facing each other. It's quiet for a few moments as you both study each other's expressions. This form of intimacy was unusual to everyone else but the two of you, having spent countless hours in the past working across one another without uttering a single word, yet communicating in perfect sync. You were a part of each other's routines, a never ending spiral. Dazai feels himself teetering on the edge of something dangerous, something peeling away at his very soul. He's usually so arrogant and domineering, but in this instant, he suddenly feels an exhaustion wash over him trying to keep that going. He's kept it going for so long, he forgot that he doesn't like doing it with you. You don't deserve to be a part of all of this, and he doesn't deserve to want you.
Oh how he loathes his true identity: A simple man. A human man. Your man.
When he can't take it anymore, he slowly creeps his bandaged hand on top of yours, applying light pressure, but his eyes don't dare look into yours. Not yet. Finally, you break the silence, staring down with furrowed brows at the way your hands fit around one another. You mutter under your breath, tired of being vague.
"What are we to each other, Dazai? I mean really?"
"Do I really need to spell it out for you?" He snorts, trying to cling to the last of his cruelty but failing as he lets his emotions sway his judgement.
You sigh, flipping your hand over so that your fingers can fully intertwine.
"I just don't know how I could ever take up any space in your mind. I didn't think you noticed whether I stayed or left."
He looks up, flashing you a mildly offended look, his sharp eyes narrowing. He scoffs quietly, dropping your hand and standing up from his desk. He walks over to you, his full height now looming. He bends down and scolds you.
"What an obscene thing to say. You're invaluable. You have always been occupying my mind, every minute, every second, every microsecond. I always notice. I'd notice even if I was on my deathbed."
Your breath catches in your throat, and you finally manage to swallow the lump that's building up as you stare up at your reckoning.
"I just- I'd never try to leash you, sir."
His eyes soften, and he tilts his head slightly. You drive him mad with the way you don't realize what a dog he is for you. His voice comes out strained.
"You wouldn't need to. And don't call me that. You know my name, and as your superior l'm ordering you to address me properly."
Your cheeks flush, and you part your lips, letting out the breath you can't stop holding. A faint smile appears on your face, and you stand up slowly to meet him.
"You're like the moon, you know? You control everything like the tides. You control me, Osamu."
He shakes his head, and sighs deeply. If only you could see how wrong you were. He steps closer, moving his hand up your arm gently as he trails his way to your collarbone with ghost-like strokes.
"Did you know that sometimes when I'm laying in bed, all alone after a long day of controlling things, my only thoughts are about you?"
He confesses, sincerely. Dazai brings his face inches from yours, his voice now becoming a pleading whisper. His hand travels down to your waist, gripping it gently.
"Do you find it hard to believe that you bring me to my knees, the big scary Port Mafia boss? Because if so, you're a great fool! I love spending my time with you. I quite literally need you by my side in my times of need and at any random and mundane moment that passes. It brings me unimaginable joy when you nag me to get more sleep, especially when I don't listen because I can't wait to hear you say it over and over again. I don't like it when you have plans, or when you report to anyone else but me. I want you to stay with me tonight and every single night after and I don't care how awful this sounds. I don't care about you having a life outside of me."
Your throat feels tight, eyes wide at the fervor of his words alone. You reply with a shaky breath.
"Every single night after?"
"Every. Single. Night. After..."
"As if we were together?"
"We are together." He declares as if it were obvious this entire time.
Hearing Dazai be so blunt makes your mind fog over quickly, a whiplash of feelings that you never thought would ever see the light of day suddenly surface. He feels the same, realizing how much he's given away to you in such a short amount of time, but for him it's been rotting inside for years. He's been held together by the glue of your support too long not to kneel for you now. It's over for him, he's run out of masks to wear. He slowly guides your body backwards towards the opulent leather couch at the center of the room. You stop when you feel yourself backing up into the cool pebbled hide, and he slowly lowers you down onto your back with his arms supporting you. He delicately hovers over you, looking deeply into your eyes as he takes in the way your bodies feel against each other. For a moment he worries he might actually be trembling.
His breath hitches when you place a hand on the bandaged side of his face that covers his left eye. You stroke the fabric lightly, eyes twinkling with unfiltered adoration. He thinks about the only other person who's ever looked at him with such reverence, and how painful it is not to be able to tell his best friend he's in love. He leans into your touch, humming softly and closing his eyes as he molds his lips deeply into yours. It's not a kiss of sexual desire. This is a kiss born of romance and intimacy, a mutual oath of surrender. cold bandaged hands instinctively wander your body, starting at the waist down to your hips, and slowly exploring the plush of your thighs, kneading them. He runs them higher, lightly tracing your ribs with his index finger while the other hand cups your face. Dazai's mouth moves gently, and slowly pulls away from yours with a soft whine. His fingers trace your jawline as he stares at you. You taste like milk and honey. Like the moon and rain. He smiles at you, eyes sparkling like the night sky. You feel his heartbeat against your body. Every single pore of your skin is connected.
"Please— don't leave the Port Mafia, and don't leave me alone... Not tonight. Not ever. I'd become a tyrant without you."
"Is that also an order?" You murmur in between shallow breaths, dreamy eyes trained on him.
His eyes flicker over to your lips for a moment, then return to your eyes. His voice drops to something that resembles a soft whimper.
"Noo. No, it's not. I could never demand anything from you. But if you'll allow me to act selfishly, I just want to make you happy, to see you smile. I want you to keep greeting me with that tea you make every morning before our meetings. I also never want to hear you call me 'Sir' again. I am not your boss or your friend... I'm so much more than that. We've always been together. We will always be together— Is this too much?"
You shake your head, smiling uncontrollably at the way Dazai rambles in this moment, it's a side of him you've never seen in all the years you've known him. A stark contrast from the detached and cruel presence that frightens others on an almost daily basis. This seems like a person pretending to be the boss of the Port Mafia, an almost perfect imitation. You're not sure what barriers within him had to break for him to become the mushy and needy mess you see before you and what it all means in the long run, but you dismiss it for now. You get the feeling this might be the real Osamu Dazai. And that excites you.
"Never too much. I'm here and I'm staying. I would always stay."
He chuckles, it's a broken shaky laugh bordering on a sob. He buries himself in your neck, smiling against your soft skin, nibbling on it. He lightly runs his tongue against the mark he leaves, and slowly lifts his gaze to meet yours
"... I know you would. You always do."
You tilt your head, and hum in mild confusion at his odd little comment.
"Do you know something I don't?"
He flashes you a knowing smile and speaks prophetically as he lightly traces a finger over a large vein on your neck, following it down to your soft chest. He murmurs lazily while bringing his lips down to where he won't be able to get them off for the rest of the night.
"I know everything, silly.~"
The Port Mafia can wait, he's going home first.
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webbelzebub · 8 months ago
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max lives au but the threat is very much still there. he doesn't bully the nerds anymore but he's less a friend and more a feral dog that they know might snap at any moment. i love a good max lives au but I need a max lives au where he gets *worse*, actually. the nature of hatchetfield is that every timeline is doomed no matter what, it's just what causes that doom that changes. i need holy ghost co-corruption arc
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izel-scribbles · 3 months ago
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just finished malevolent relisten. needless to say the obsession has been rekindled tenfold its previous magnitude
#im so fucking isnane about this podcast#ok notable reactions:#john.. Oh my god. It’s so insane to go back and hear how much he’s changed in the way he talks and reasons and treats arthur#i love you john doe malevolent#fav trans allegory ever!!!!!#definitely relate to him a normal amount (liar voice)#and then. S2. I really need to make that animatic with lonesome dreams#godddd i forgot how painful the ep18 divorce was#and then!!!! the canna mentions helping noel escape!!! completely forgot about that part#s3. oh my god. absolute fav season. soooo many crazy moments.#like coda??? “You want him back.” “I want him safe.” You want him baaack.” “I want him back”#KAYNE I FUCKING HATE THAT RAT BASTARD.NEED TO BASH HIS HEAD IN WITH A ROCK BUT HES A FREAK AND HED ENJOY IT SO I CANT#piece od shit#and then 23/24??????? arthur’s happy cry-laugh???? dead#part 25. “I killed myself. For a voice in my head. Do you know how mad that sounds?” what if IIII killed myself#26. god. Then 27. And 28. Literally my fav season ever#followed closely by s4#ohhhh my god i forgot how hot the butcher is like genuinely#i completely forgot prelude somehow???? giggling kicking my feet twirling my hair the whole time#i need to be this homicidal gay irishman hes so hot oh my god#the 29 divorce. with the movie lmaoo#i need to draw them going on a night out and seeing a movie and getting dinner and drinks and dancing and (gets shot)#gooddddd i remember listening to 31 for the first time and being so fucking confused#PART 33. HIT ME RIGHT IN THE EMOTIONS. OH MY GOD. BELLA SALTZMAN I COULD’VE TREATED YOU SO MUCH BETTER#34….. i can’t speak about 34 without barking and howling like a rabid dog#dog. Is that a butcher refere(gets shot for the third time)#NOELLLLLL MY DARLING WIFE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH#this has just inspired me to keep writing hofth with ella tbh#lowkey don’t even get the obsession with oscar tho i can’t be talking#to each their own or whatever
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I think we overlooked the fucked up polycule dynamic potential of team bolas x the dog that hunts them
they gave him a house. he paid rent. he hunted them, picked them off one by one, but when they sought to hunt him he ran. the tormented and the tormented. the hunters and the hunter. them huddling around a fire, burning themselves as he lurks in the dark to devour any that stray too far from the light. when they gather their rocks and throw them as one he flees, tail between his legs as he hunts for his own safety
is there not familiarity in that? is there not love in the violence? let me kill you, i will return your greatest treasure. let me kill you, you’ve already destroyed me and mine. there is loneliness to the dark and hate in the bloodshed. what is hate if not the other side of love. what if obsession if not love driven too far. all of them bathed in the blood of the others, baptized by sin after sin after sin. mothers carry their litters in their mouths- when do the teeth at your throat start to feel gentle? bad once said about cellbit, “it was like throwing a ball, and saying fetch.” that went wrong for him. cellbit once said about bad, “you’ve gone soft.” that went wrong for him, too.
do you remember the slime kills? slime was bad’s first blood, his first taste of oncoming violence. bad was slime’s last kill, an end to the desperation that was sparked with the first base raid. do you remember that first day? bad on the water, slime on the shore, calling him in like a siren. ‘look at me, look how killable i am’ says the bait, desperately trying to build a trap even as the prey fears the untied-noose wrapping around its throat. do you remember the tension? do you remember how the sun punished them both?
‘look at me, look how killable i am,’ says the poisoned frog to the wolf. the bird to the dog. do you remember the kindness? the killing and the killing and the killing, and the laughter. the killing the killing the killing, and the earnest offer to help? remember how jaiden fed herself to the dog. remember how the dog listened. ‘where is your stuff? i’ll take you to your body.’ thousands of blocks away. then more blood, no screaming, just laughter.
do you see? do you see? they built him a dog house, and he paid them rent. hunters snd hunters. he killed them to bring back their children and he failed and they brought back his instead. how can he ever repay that? their blood coats him. his blood coats them. all of them animals. all of them desperate. remember the familiarity of teeth and the taste of your own death. when its all said and done what will they miss the most- being the hunters? or being the hunted?
and then they all make out and take turns getting beaten to death by jaiden. shes part of the group murder but not the romance of death. instead she gets to go to the club (the Spawn Rave)
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shig4dabi · 11 months ago
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[GRABS AT YOU THROUGH THE BARS OF MY CAGE]
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DO YOU GET WHAT IM SAYING??? DO YOU????
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die-with-me-dazai · 2 years ago
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Everyone out here "omg the anime cut this omg the anime cut that how COULD they omg I hope they don't adapt this LN or I hope they do adapt this LN....." etc etc and I'm just here like "damn I'm so glad bungou stray dogs has an anime and we're getting new seasons"
I'm just genuinely happy to have anything at all
Is the anime adaptation perfect? No of course not
Am I just happy the anime is still ongoing? Absofuckinglutely
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rearranging-deck-chairs · 5 months ago
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sheesh speaking of psychic damage, bro is trying to kill himself with his mind here
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napping-sapphic · 7 months ago
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It’s a beautiful night and i am manifesting that none of you are fucking up your knee right now😌
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bandtrees · 1 year ago
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reblog to gently feed him a cheese puff out of the palm of your hand
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hacksawboy · 9 days ago
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fuck it .heres my edgy sniper oc. this is tumblr im not gonna get shamed for this
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ft my spy oc theyre so in hate 🩷
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hella1975 · 10 months ago
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wondering why old ladies aren’t smiling at me around town as much this morning then remember im wearing hoops and a puffer jacket and generally look like a bitchy year 9 girl who’s about to punch someone
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arrozaurus · 4 months ago
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living with neighbors in a same building is making hate dogs so much. im not a dog hater but i am
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andr0nap-wf · 5 months ago
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fascinated by the concept of an alloid swap au
sounds like an absolute train wreck unraveling in slow motion
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the-acid-pear · 7 months ago
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I fucking love this movie because look at it look at IGNORE THE CENTIPEDE BTW DONT WORRY ABOUT IT but look at the color and the framing and the fucking Fog like i cannot stress enough just how cinematic the first movie is man. Kind of but not entirely lost in the sequels, where the settings were simply Ugly.
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gaydogmarriage · 6 months ago
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biggest lore drop of oathkeeper was that naphis, too, has a fuckass bob
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