#im so fucking mad still oh my god
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um. the FUCK ?
#all the signs were there tbh !!!!!! i want him dead in the ground#i wish young got to punch him more than once#what a fucking asshole#the way i was lying down while watching rhis but the second he said this#i paused it sat up stared into space for a good long while & just went ‘what the fuck?’#love in the big city#im so fucking mad still oh my god
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chat how are we feeling
#i am not feelign good personally. so many emotions . oh my fucking god i love sanford so much i have to die#(im being dramatic btw. so happy abt this episode but its currently manifestign as me staring into space like a detective on a cold case)#oh my god. oh my GOD#madness combat#madness combat 12#madness combat 12 spoilers#sanford madness combat#mc sanford#deimos madness combat#mc deimos#sanmos#I STILL CANNOT BELIEVE KRINKELS SAID “LOVE WINS” AFTER ALL THAT. IM GOING FUCKGIN INSANE OVER THAT. MY FUCKIGN GOD. CHRIST#my art#simmons likes to draw
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“I’m longing for that day as well. However, you have a bad reputation and so many enemies. It’s not the best time. Be patient and wait.” Li Dai Kun As Xie Wang. WORD OF HONOR (2021) - Episode 20.
#word of honor#wohedit#wohdaily#asianlgbtqdramas#asiandramasource#cdramanet#cdramasource#cdramaedit#xie wang#*#faiza gifs#GOD THIS IS SO FUCKED UP THIS IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! FUCKED! UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#for a man who LITERALLY just called the boy his 'SON' merely 2 SECONDS AGO before this bit in the scene#to then say 'you have a bad reputation just sit and wait i cant let you in on all my scheming BUT boy oh boy I WILL USE YOU AS MY WEAPON#IN ALL OF THEM' .... is SO FUCKED UP. he FUCKED xie wang up SO BADLY the boy's self worth was in the mud ON THE FLOOR at this point#'im still not good enough' NO BABY BOY YOU ARE! YOU AAAAAAAAAAAARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!#fhuhvfh MY BLOOD IS BOILING IM SO MAD I WANNA GO PUCH ZJ IN THE FACE.
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So..... regarding those news about Nicholas Kole's crash 5.....
I'm going to explode.
#WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.#WHAT THE FUCK#WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK#I HATE IT HERE WHYYYYYYY#SO YOURE TELLING ME WE WERE GONNA HAVE MORE OF CORTEX'S FAMILY MEMBERS. PINSTRIPE AND TINY RETURNING.#THE ACADEMY OF EVIL???#AND ALSO THE 2ND PITCH WAS A SPYRO CROSSOVER THAT HAD UKA UKA AS THE MAIN ANTAGONIST?????????#Im gonna do it chat. im so fucking mad.#i still hope mama cortex (sharon) hugh G. Cortex Cera Cortex and ID Cortex are still canon because OH MY GOD.......#ik i have a follower who isnt a fan of this direction. and i respect them deeply.#but seriously WHAT THE FUCK ACTIVISION WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM YOU ONLY CARE ABOUT MONEY AND NOT PEOPLE'S PASSIONS#fuck the n sane trilogy.#fuck nitro fueled.#AND MOST IMPORTANTLY. FUCK. ACTIVISION.#sorry guys im still so fucking pissed...#if the pandemic didnt happen crash 4 could've sold more copies than 5 million!! just saying.#also crash team rumble.................. i miss you....... </3#crash bandicoot#comet's blasted bandicoot buffoonery#comet rambles#i hate this planet im gonna do it#i really hope the people who worked on this found better work elsewhere and are getting treated better.#i know nicholas is having a blast at studio mhdr by now..#i wish everyone nothing but the best of luck!!#once again. FUCK YOU ACTIVISION.
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the colors of Red, White & Royal Blue
#i loved the colors they had#i wanted to highlight the rainbow for obvious reasons#red white and royal blue#usergif#rwrb movie#rwrbedit#alex claremont diaz#henry fox mountchristen windsor#firstprince#taylor zakhar perez#nicholas galitzine#my coloring#but oh my GOD coloring this was so annoyingly hard#gif#*mine#they cut out so many of my favorite parts of the book#which im VERY FUCKING MAD about#i will not defend this movie bc they removed “THEN FUCKING HAVE ME”#but i will still gif it#because fundamentally i am a gif maker#but taylor and nick i love you. you both did your best with what you got
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I just learned something so incredibly fucked up
#i am trembling#i cannot let this enable my issues with paranoia further! haha! oh my fucking god#im not joking btw im literally physically trembling. how did this happen oh god oh GOD nononono dont let it get to you#i just need to know. was someone like. double dealing? was someone telling him about it#i wouldnt give a shit if they were stalking me online occasionally (well id care a little bit but honestly itd just be kinda fucked)#but if someone was telling him about me and my personal stuff?#stop. i dont want to think about it. i dont want to think it happened. i have to get this out of my head#but still. absolutely fucking deranged.#ESPECIALLY bc apparently he's been saying i “made him think he was abusive'' and that doing that was shitty of me bc he actually#just has bpd??????#sol if you're reading this listen closely: one of my best friends has bpd. diagnosed and everything. so shut the fuck up#much like you've been saying i blamed my adhd for being neglectful (read: not meeting your sky-high standards for Truly Loving You 24/7)#you cannot blame your bpd for what a shit person you've been#repeatedly asking you to work on a flaw that's been hurting me is not telling you you're abusive you fucking prick#get a life‚ learn to care about other people away from what they can do for YOU‚#and LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE.#p.s. imagine being mad that people who were friends with both you and your partner didnt suddenly cut the other one off after you broke up#like actually angry at these people. what the actual fuck. you're like a divorced parent upset that their child still talks to their ex-wife#my posts
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After three years of work I now have to get a new car
#i speak#SO FRUSTRATING OH MY GOD IM GOING TO#…#I have upgrades still in plastic wrap and brand new tires that were so hard to get bc they aren’t made anymore…#new hood was awaiting paint job.#I HAD TO MAKE CUSTOM PIECES FOR THIS THING. for racing. for going fast#had to put wiring harness together by hand#new rims… dude whatever I’m not even mad I’m not it’s fine#like what now. do I just get the same make and model car. idk if it’s fucking worth it at this point#the miata??? the humble 1990s toyota celica???
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Oh my god. Oh my god. Zaveid refers to Maotelus as "our little boy" Oh my god. Was that a hint the whole fucking time like even a year or two or however long it was prior to the reveal that Phi is Maotelus??? He's like the only person in Zestiria's time that would reasonably know the truth aside from Eizen who obviously can't talk about that since hes a fucking dragon now.. I'm so fuckibg mad. Oh my god imso fucking mad.
#im still fucking mad about the portrait in marlind thats CLEARLY of either laphi or phi and THERES NO ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF IT AT ALL#LIKE YEAH YOURE SUPPOSED TO HAVE NO CLUE WHOS IN THE PAINTING AND NEITHER OF THEM TECHNICALLY EXISTED AS A CHARACTER YET BUT IT HAD TO BE#SUSSY FROM THE START LIKE WHOS THIS KID WITH A CLEARLY DEFINED DESIGN IN A PAINTING IN THE MUSEUM THAT IF ANYTHING LOOKS LIKE FUCKIN MITHOS#oh my god. IS THAT IT???? ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO THINK ITS MITHOS CUZ THERES ALSO A STATUE OF GAIUS IN THE MUSEUM SO IT SHOULDNT BE ASSUMED TO#BE SUSSY???? IS THAT FUCKING IT????#LAPHI AND PHI OR AT LEAST LAPHI AS INOMMINAT ARE SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE MITHOS. FUCK YOU BAMCO!!!! FUCK OFF!!!!!!#im so fucki vmad jesus fucking christ#personal
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extremely frustrating situation
#overly long winded explanation incoming#so i’m gonna be living with two friends starting this fall#my parents bought a little townhouse and we’re renting from them#so they’re getting all of the paperwork and contracts and leases figured out#and these two friends are just. awful with deadlines. horrific. just the worst.#my dad has been flexible but he’s had to keep nagging them again and again to get these forms signed and whatever#and one of them finally finished the whole process and she’s good to go#but the other one still just needs to get the lease signed/notarized with their dad. like. asap. like within a few days.#and i’m trying my best to be like heyyyy sorryyyy not trying to nag or anything but we do need that ASAP…. it should be quick and easy…#i know you’re working double shifts every single day and your dog just died im so sorry#but my parents say you should be able to just go to the bank during a lunch break to get it notarized…..#please don’t be mad at me or my parents for saying we need this Now…… i’m sorry i know you have a lot going on but we do Need that done#right away….#anyway i don’t want you to be mad at me or think i’m just nagging so here’s a topic change! oh you didn’t respond to the topic change.#fuck me then. god. i can’t tell if you’re mad at me or not but i have the suspicion you Are. and that’s making Me mad at You#like god man just come the fuck on already you’ve missed every other deadline up to this point too. can you please just FUCKING get#everything submitted so we can stop worrying about it and just get excited to live together!! because it’s gonna be fun!!#but it’s worrying me too bc like… if this is how they’re acting before we’re even living together#and they’re missing all of these deadlines#am i gonna have to nag them to pay their rent every month?#it’s just frustrating bc it feels like they’re taking advantage of the fact that it’s my parents and not some other landlord#so they don’t think the deadlines my parents set are like. actual deadlines#meanwhile if it WASNT my parents they’d literally be out of a place to live because the housing market is so fucked there#and if you don’t get everything submitted within The Day then you’re no longer a candidate to rent the place#if you can even get to that point in the first place#so like. my parents are being exceptionally flexible and obv i can’t really know what this friend’s thought process is#but it feels like they’re just kinda taking them for granted and taking advantage of their kindness#like fuck dude just please come on
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Boruto things that made me lose my mind (ep 62-93):
Sasuke: I'm taking boruto onto the battlefield with me ✌️
Naruto @ boruto: sorry for treating u like a child and not a child soldier
Shikadai: *worried abt his friend boruto* shikamaru: yea I was the same abt naruto (no. Ur son is worried abt his friend. U were worried abt ur pride. Don't pretend u and naruto were friends)
Shout out to Boruto's 2 daddies for allowing their son to kill a God at age 12
What the fuck am I supposed to feel abt gender fluid orochimaru???
Last week boruto killed a God, this week a sleazy actor creeps on chocho... and he really looks like an adult...
Boruto writers: chocho is beautiful just the way she is... but we will continue to use her weight as a joke
I hate every member of team 5 in both personality and character design
Mitsuki @ orochimaru: it doesn't matter if you're my mother or father. As long as I kno ur essence, that's what matters (...ok but I cannot fathom the implication that orochimaru's essence is anything but evil)
The only personal items in Mitsuki's house are pill bottles and a framed photo of boruto beside his bed. That's pretty unnerving.
I think it says a lot about that those 2 horrible old advisors r still around and their opinions still hold weight. If I were naruto, I would not let them back in the office. Ever. Like bro they were instrumental in ur mistreatment
Suigetsu: that's LORD orochimaru! (Dude y r u putting respect on his name? Didn't he keep u locked naked in a tube at one point?)
The white snake sage has the fucking goofiest accent in the English dub
...boruto made as summoning contract with a giant snake... but instead of summoning him from a snake realm... I think the snake burrowed into his soul? Bc the snake is showing up in the same internal place as kurama does for naruto. Weird.
Mitsuki is the most gay
Boruto @ villian with pulsating mass attached to his chest: how did u get that heart?! (Boruto what the fuck do u think a heart looks like????)
#its so frustrating bc boruto is a show for lil babies. there is no subtly at all#they have to bash u over the head with what they want u to kno#and there r some interesting ideas theyre playing with. bc u have the modernisation of the world#and turning away from being shinobi so u get this weird reverence for what shinobi were and anger that the kids didnt grow up in war#it feels like a very modern anger. which is really interesting but im not sure how much theyre going to play with that#but idk naruto is still infuriatingly like sad to me. my boy is so tired#also i think boruto should grow up to b a therapist bc hes emotionally intelligent and likes to help ppl when he can get over himself#idk im a boruto apologist lol for the boy and the show. i guess. i like the boy. the show is a cursed timeline but i dont hate it yet lol#Anytime ppl r like: oh lord 7th!!! i get so mad tho. like fuck off#also is shikamaru still friends with choji??? did u just drop that friendship dude? bc it feels like theyre pretending shikamaru and naruto#were like friends. which. hah no#anyway. i wanna kno whats up with borutos eye. i want the alien bullshit#i like that he killed a god. that is fucking desturbing and i love#naruto#boruto#naruto ramblings
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thinking about that one post about "he's a girl to me" or whatever. and that has me thinking about heavensward so much. and also stormblood! kinda just ffxiv in general but I feel the later expansions have this issue less but ESPECIALLY like. estinien, aymeric, and zenos when compared to the actual women in the expansion. it feels to me like the women of the expansion are by and far overlooked by people for the sake of the men and that general "he's so girl to me" contributes to it. Like there ARE women right there you know. like there are very very very good women just a few feet to the left. you can talk about how girlie estinien is to you but like. ysayle is right there. you can talk about how babygirl zenos is but also. there's fordola. you know that right. like you can enjoy the women too. it's ok.
and ofc genuine actual transfem headcanons are SO fucking good. I love them so much. keep going. But like that post has said, when it's only men in the fandom being treated as "he's so girl" (AND NEVER WOMAN!!!! ALWAYS GIRL!!!!!) it gets really really fucking tiring.
i love estinien! I really like Zenos! I get it! And if they are your favorite characters and you want specifically content about them and to make content specifically about them that is FINE!! but also, holy shit is it exhausting when it's like 99% about them and not a single glimpse towards the women of the story. yeah ffxiv's writing has a huuuuuuge fucking issue with women. and also.
#i dunno it's hard to write something ranty like this without it feeling like#i'm bashing people for their faves. i'm not!!!#im just a really fucking tired lesbian who wants to see women get content#and not just the men of the media with the excuse 'he's so girlie to me' or WHATEVER!!!!#please for the love of god like. it almost feels like people are scared to hc characters as trans.#and if you don't want to who CARES but also come on. come on do it. your faves are trans now. enjoy.#anyways. sorry for the rant. bleh.#I'M JUST MAD WHEN THERE ARE SUPER WELL WRITTEN WOMEN 20 FEET TO THE LEFT WHO GET ENTIRELY IGNOREDDDDDD#ok. 'super well written' is sometimes an exaggeration. and fuck it i'll admit it. MY babygirl has her issues.#you can really feel the pivot where they were like 'oh fuck we don't want her to be a VILLAIN villain what do we do'#'we already had her evil cackle at ish/gard being assaulted and people dying. what now.'#and her death. i've screamed about it enough.#but my point stands she's still just as solid as the other characters. give her some love.#ok. that's all. rant over.
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OKAY. SO. i'm going to be directly pulling from the wiki + ttrpg text & abridging some of it. here we go. little bowl of seeds for u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so. the circumstances leading up to the trigger event influence the power granted. half the state of mind, and half the scenario that they're in. taylor was in a situation where she was isolated, blind and powerless and felt like everyone was conspiring against her-- either directly (planning for fucking weeks to get her into the locker) or indirectly (ignoring her inside, not letting her out) etc. she triggered as a master, someone who can see everything and control so many things so exactly and specifically and she has something (her bugs) there for her, in some sort of fucked up companionship, in response to that. the overview is as follows!!
^this is the gist of it!!!!!! the ttrpg also goes into more in depth on many of these-- i won't send u 1 billion screenshots Now (spoilers in the gdocs u r Not allowed in there) but. here r a couple irt the nhw for flavor :}
also holy shit now i can be so so so fucking annoying about Why i gave the nhw the powers i did... i kind of got into it w/ the trigger events. but like. still..!!!!!!!!!!!
OHHHHHHHH MY GOD. HOLY SHIT. YEAH UR RIGHT I WAS THINKING ABOUT IT FROM THE WRONG ANGLE. OH MY GODDDD DUDE . THIS IS SO FUCKING TASTY. MY MIND IS GOING ABT A BILLION MILES AN HOUR RNNNN ohhhh god this got so long i gotta out it under a cut. im having so many thoughts dude
i would LOVE the essay about each of the nhw triggers btw. i can SEE your vision i can FEEL your vision. william feeling so fucking isolated in his hometown leading him to have master powers. his. idk weird relationship with ghosts/monsters/death coupled with his EXTREME near death experience manifesting in his breaker powers. UGHHH thats so good. TRUMP POWERS BEING CAUSED BY DIRECT INVOLVEMENT BY ANOTHER CAPE IN THE TRIGGER EVENT. VIRION WATCHING HIS DAD SLAUGHTER THEIR ENTIRE PARTY/FRIENDS/FAMILY. dakota being lost in the crowd after losing his parents, knowing something bad is happening but not knowing exactly what, catching glimpses of the fight and the blood and the horror but still not fully understanding, not knowing how or if he'll ever find his parents again and that manifesting in his thinker powers. also that zone/quick/farsight thing holy FUCK thats so failsafe. "loss of autonomy, being situationally restricted/overwhelmed" manifesting as sensing people in his immediate environment. "results from tunnel vision in views/character, incorrect perceptions" (can we say dakota damascus hero worship!) manifesting as powers that go beyond the usual senses (fear/pain sense!). i honestly think the Quick part would come more from his second trigger, which is what gives him the Mover powers right? "panic, frantic inability to solve problems, rushed errors" <- not being able to catch katori in time, making the split second decision to fall after her, manifesting as his mover/thinker powers. being able to make those split second decisions midair and Actually Accomplish them, but by the time he triggered they were already too close to the ground and he couldnt save her anyway (<< and theres the tragic irony)
ohhhh i didnt mean to go off so much about failsafe but that just gave me a lot of feelings about his triggers :( ANYWAY THINKING ABOUT ASHE NOW. GOD. OKAY. right now. how are we feeling about Shaker/Breaker. ok ok im having a lot of thoughts here bear with me. idk if u have a more clear trigger for him in mind but the thing ive been thinking about all day since u sent me that first ask is. the call going out to evacuate because simurgh is coming. ashe's mom has to go get him from school and its a mad rush with all of the other parents trying to do the same thing. instead of immediately leaving, they go back to the house for some reason (she forgot something important? maybe her phone so she had no way to contact mark/see if he was okay? idk i havent worked that out yet.) and shes just. running around frantically grabbing things getting ready to leave and ashe is standing in the doorway not knowing what to do or how to help. and its like an earthquake hits. (i just keep thinking about chris's death and how fucking. sudden and brutal it was it has stuck with me for some reason). something big or heavy falls on her and just . immediately crushes either one or both of her legs. totally unable to move. and ashe starts panicking and shes obviously panicking but trying so hard to keep it together not to scare ashe anymore than he already is. and she tells him to go, tells him to follow the other people who are leaving, maybe find one of their neighbors and go with them. (side note here. if she got her phone. i want her to text mark here and tell him to come home. something really short and terrifying and panic inducing that breaks him out of his hesitation. "need help, come home, cant leave" something like that. worlds most miserable man these are the last words he has of his wife aha) ashe doesnt want to leave his mom! hes just a kid he doesnt know what the endbringers are or why theyre so scary or why THIS ONE IN PARTICULAR is so bad!! she keeps telling him not to worry, that dad will meet him there when hes safe, ashe immediately asks something like "but what about you?" and its very. disney movie parent dying level of tragedy. he triggers when she eventually cant hold it together anymore either from the pain or the panic and just starts. screaming at him. ashe you need to go you cant stay here you need to leave me im not coming with you etc etc etc.
ANYWAY. ALL THIS TO SAY. shaker powers come from environmental/ambient danger. i.e. a literal endbringer attack. maybe the house isnt structurally sound anymore but he doesnt want to leave his mom. breaker powers come from . well this is more of me maybe forcing the issue but i want the trickster to be a separate form or something. the abstract stressors here being. he knows something bad is happening but he doesnt know exactly what. he knows his mom cant move but he wants her to be able to so she can leave with him, shes yelling at him telling him to go, he doesnt know where his dad is, he doesnt want to go by himself. etc etc do you feel the vision here. taking this directly from that last paragraph about breakers too but like "knowing a situation is dangerous but not wanting to leave" yknow!!!!! i dont know exactly how this would manifest yet but goddd just. imagining it as something like. his shaker powers are the ones he can actually control and use normally but the trickster/breaker powers is what he turns into in situations similar to his trigger, where someone he loves is in danger. but the irony of it is that he cant really control his actions as the trickster and he just kind of. goes berserk on whatever is around him. absolutely brutal, maybe a little sadistic; its kind of perfect for situations like overlord where they do actually need to kill someone to get out of the situation, but with things like his trigger. well. the only living thing around him was his mom. so . wasnt pretty. is this anything . im in so much pain about this
final FINAL side note. i know we have mark as a cauldron cape but even if we didnt i think both his classifications working so fucking well ESPECIALLY tinker "solutionless problems over long periods, resulting in a crisis moment" what is more of a solutionless problme than knowing you and your son have been marked by the simurgh and deciding that instead of following protocol youre going to say fuck it all and get the two of you out of there by. nuking your entire lives and faking new identities and struggling to bounce back from somehting like that all while knowing the inevitability of. the fact that youve BEEN MARKED BY THE FUCKING SIMURGH. (also striker "results from an immediate threat, usually a single object or individual" hello? coming home to find your son in some demonic berserk state and your wife a bloody mess on the floor all while theres this overbearing scream/singing in your head ??? okayyyyy)
#GOD. THIS IS SO MUCH. TO BE FAIR I DID WARN YOU I WOULD BE SO INSUFFERABLE ABOUT NHW WINTERS FAMILY WHEN I GOT TO LEARN ABOUT THEM.#I DID WARN YOU. HI. I LOVE THEM. IM THINKING ABOUT THM SO MUCH literally all but one of my FOUR current wip fics involve either ashe or mar#i love them so much. guck#new haven wards#hiiiiii ros. hi. ohhhh my god. oh my god. oh hhhh my god dude. okay enough of this im going back to reading about noelle FUCKING FINALLY#YIPPPE#asks#friends!!!#wormposting#intertexts#also side note not important but you DID ask me the other day what i think my powers would be in worm. i AM still going to say#changer because ayyyyy transgenderisms and appearance issues for Basically My Whole Life#BUT IM SO MAD . I WOULD PROBABLY ALSO BE A MASTER. THE ONE THAT SCARES ME THE MOST. GOD DAMN IT.#I MEAN MASTERS ARE REALLY COOL BUT IM A GUY WHO HAS WEIRD RELATIONSHIPS WITH PUPPET IMAGERY. AND THE MOST TRAUMATIC MOMENT OF MY LIFE HAS A#LOT TO DO WITH BETRAYAL AND ISOLATION AND ALIENATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#<< this is slash silly btw i fucking love thinking abt stuff like this because im an insane person
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And now I'm stuck in baby prison.
#i know i cant be free. i hang my head and. pee.#oh my god(ot) he is my. he is. he is my. hes my. my#COUGH kin COUGH#kin list lookin grimmer by the minute. lookin not only embarrassing. but also demanding of a psychiatric evaluation. love that for me.#i love caw feh i love cawfeh so MUCH i cant accomplish anything without first havin' a cup. and then. once ive had 1 cup.#i need to have a NOTHER cup. of. caw feh. i have about eleven cups a day. hey hey. hey hey hey hey HEY. i cant do anything without cawfeh#i'm. addicted to caffEINE.#inside you there are two wolves. they are both painfully bisexual as all hell.#ace attorney#godot ace attorney#godot#omg my hand fucking hurts i cant feel my fingers.#so does my eye. my horners syndrome been flaring up like mad bc i have no more refills on my meds and im dying#like. i have some sort of stressful condition on my eyes. omg u too godot!? omg.... thas so cool...#diego armando#Kaminogi Souryu#do i need to tag spoilers its 2023. i mean. i only played the third game this past year myself but. still.#souryo kaminogi#i feel like i had one more thing to say but i fg wtf it was.#i was JUST a baby boy... always be a baby dont ever be a gun. a.lways drinking. codfee. jsut a babye drinkgin. coffe#SORRY my illegible handwriting is SHIT! So are my hands. And so is my writing. OMG it all makes so much sense now🤯#WOAH🤯🤯🤯🤯just had a GIGA revelation!! It all adds up!!🤯🤯🤯#Its voice is similar to a human's but it is impossible to understand.
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comic planning/roughs on the clock at work 👍 ok. this one's still a few posts out though
#god i really do just need to get a tablet or. something#some way to draw digitally on the go bc my laptop is um#at least 200% less portable than your typical old clunky laptop. its a whole ordeal#and as u can see tradish scribbles are barely usable#though i guess it would help if i ever remembered to grab something besides a shite pen at work lmao <-hates pen forever#mad bc i think this one is kind of mid+redundant for what i'd intended it to do bc of how some of the previous ones shifted#but i still gotta draw it bc one of the later ones uses it. buh#when i said these werent chronological or connected btw i lied#though only VERY VERY LOOSELY so. enough to bother *me* if i don't do them in order#but not enough that's really going to be noticeable to anyone else. they're each still intended 99% as standalone.#the arc is very minor but its there. for me. for anyone else it probably just amounts to a couple easter egg references/ consistencies#by the by the pizzaposts before this arent part of the series.#one small quickie thing and one i would...really like to get done sooner rather than later bc i need it out of my system#former's like 70% sketched im just waffling on execution#latter is uh...theres a lot there but it's harder to work on And harder tell how close to done it is.#unrelated its funny how i Always forget brick until i start putting anything down and then its like oh god yeah i can do bg Jokes with him#funny in the sense that one of my webcomic protag oc's is a...spatially similar deal as him [little kid with a big bear companion]#and i ALWAYS forget the bear when im scripting it. until i start messing with the layout and its like fuck theres a bear.#i have to do things with this now. fortunately thus far it hasn't been too hard to adapt#much rambling tonight goodbye. i haev to go block all these damn bots
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
GGGRRRTARATAHSJSHSKWGWJVZKXKXBDNHSKSJDVXMZVSMD
#SHDGKSJSBDBSKAK#GGGRRRRARFARFARFARFARFBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARK#GGRRRRRARFARFARF#HDJSJAHSHDBFKSNDBDB#AAAAAAAAAHHHHH#as you might have noticed. these are all itsv peeb#because im still mad at him in atsv#anyways#HE'S SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!#HIS EYES#OH MY GOD HIS BEAUTIFUL BROWN EYES#AAAAAAHHHHH#soft and caring and AAAHAHHHHH#hehehe and tummy#his smile#his SMILE#ASAAHHHMDHSKAFBSZNNSNDBFKS#do not even get me STARTED ON THE GREY HAIRS#because oh. ohhhhhh#OH#my god#the soft purple one is my screensaver
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dude its always "be yourself" till youre trans and now suddenly oh i get to nitpick every little thing about you oh that gesture was very feminine made you look like a girl oh youre wearing a shirt thats cream coloured? seems a little feminine to me oh you paint your nails? so youre a girl after all like ???? youre giving me mixed messages here am i meant to be myself or am i meant to conform to your idea of what a man is in order to be accepted as one by you
#⚠️#one time after i came out my mum saw me lounging around in a black t shirt and she was like oh it made you look like a man thinking it was#compliment but dude i got so mad i was like for fuck sake is that seriously what i have to do to be considered a man is lounge around in a#black t shirt??? lounging around is masculine???? what????????#i was also just a very angry person in general but still that really confuses me#had a psychiatrist note down shit about my appearance saying whether they thought it was feminine or masculine (they thought it was all#feminine) which was fucking crazy cause i went in for an adhd diagnosis#people just find out youre trans and suddenly start acting like experts on whats feminine and whats masculine and what makes you either#gender like shut the fuck up#can also come from people who they themselves accept some cis men are feminine and some cis women are masculine but suddenly as soon as you#try to transition now you have to be masculine or be feminine or youre not valid in their eyes#its fucking crazy#like if i showed them a dude with long hair theyd be like thats a dude with long hair but as soon as i have my hair long im told to cut it#i can show them a dude in a skirt and theyd probably laugh thinking its funny or some bullshit but theyd still think its a dude in a skirt#but if i wear a skirt suddenly im a girl#i know at the root of all this they truly believe people cant switch genders cause in their minds sex and gender is the same but still its#so annoying especially when they pretend to be accepting or think theyre being accepting and when you challenge them on their transphobia#they get all mad at you and act like youre being rude for criticizing them for doing the bare minimum whilst also just continuing to be#transphobic#like yeah you use my correct name but when im not around you use she/her for me and you say i **want** to be a boy instead of i am a boy bu#when i talk to you about this suddenly im the bad guy like its my fault youre using language for me thats transphobic#like ok man. whatever.#sorry for asking you to be a decent fucking human being toward me and treat me with respect#its like people just treat trans peoples gender like something they can just dismiss like its nothing liek we're just playing pretend or#something#like god its frustrating. i need to cut my mum out of my life fr
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