#ik how hard life is for ppl rn

[giveme-allofthat-ultraviolence]

You literally gave me every reason to cry last night and then you say if I ever need to talk to someone I can go to you???? Like sybau actually everybody pulls this bullshit

[phagodyke]

pain so bad I woke up 2 hours ago and haven't been able to sleep again and I have work today :(

[29121996]

okay there is no limit . Interesting

[silly-little-soul]

SDV Highschool AU

A/N - in celebration of my graduation today!!

Very rushed and not formatted properly cause I’m at prom rn and writing this on my phone I’ll fix it later but like i wanted to post sth for the occassion

-

Summary: sdv highschool au, the ones under the +++ are x reader

Characters: Harvey, Shane, Elliot, Haley (cause theyre my favs to write for)

Warnings: drug mention

~~~~~~~~~~~

HARVEY

- Big nerd

- He’s planning to study medicine so of course he puts accordingly much effort

- Awkward as fuck icl

- Everyone lowkey loves him cause he’s always really helpful

- Aka almost the entire class just copies his homework

- Lives off coffee in every life and scenario

- (One of the) best in class and beloved by the teachers but not annoying about it

- If y’all wanna act like there wasn’t any homework in front of the teacher cause no one did it (except him ofc bcs NERD) he’ll totally play along

- Which is probably why the whole reason it worked

- Some ppl def have a crush on him

- But he’s just so awkward and oblivious… I love him

- Also not rlly into the kind of dating that’s most common among teens? Does that make sense??

+++

- So for you, let’s say you’ve been his friend since forever, best friends perhaps

- He’s had a crush on you so long but has like no idea how to go about it

- And you think he’s not interested cause he has friendzoned you so hard multiple times before

- It was a panic reaction don’t blame him

- I can picture you coming together at sone school dance and it’s like really cliche

- I’ll make these longer later I’m sorry

-

SHANE

- stoner

- Like sorry but

- Maybe it’s my Connor Murphy obsession or maybe I’m right

- I’m basing this v much on mentally ill Shane ik that backstory only semi much works with a highschool setting but we dont rlly know abt pre mental illness shane so

- Generally not bad at school he just has intense down phases where he completely falls behind (relatable)

- Works at some fast food chain and hates it but yk money is money

- No one ever shows up for parent teacher talks bcs he doesnt want the school to know about his family and his family about school yk

- Quiet most of the time

- Mean when talked to

+++

- But also like he doesn’t rlly mean it with some people you just gotta po ker if he does for you and talk to him

- Good news: you’re very much an exception

- Phew

- I’m thinking forced project or something

- No actually I’m thinking one of you is the others dealer

- Probs starting as a kinda fwb thing that becomes serious

- There’s sm potential here icl

- I’m gonna rewrite all of this next week and get more into it

-

ELLIOT

- The weirdest kid in the grade but beloved by all

- Writes a lot, probably started a club that’s related to that somehow

- Wins a lot of those lil writing competitions schools do

- A romantic, hands out flowers or something to people on Valentine’s

- Like super mysterious and no one can tell if he does it on purpose or if it just kinda is like that

- Def has some ppl crushing on him

- Has been ppls secret admirer before

- Except it’s not rlly secret bcs who else would do allat

+++

- So when he falls for you it’s like that too

- You get mysterious letters and flowers from an admirer

- Except it’s not mysterious bcs Elliot everyone knows no one else does that!!!

- You pretend not to realize a while tho cause it’s sweet

- And then after a but you just give him a secret admirer letter back

- Even if it’s not quite as poetic as his

- He appreciates it sm cause it’s so rare people match his energy

- You’re couple goals but also lowkey make ppl sick with all your sap

-

HALEY

- Pretty popular

- She’s very confident and can be a bit brash so you might get the idea she’s a typical mean girl but she’s actually pretty sweet

- Especially with the girls

- You might get a comment about your messy makeup but best believe she’s fixing it up for you

- Girl in trouble? She’s right there without hesitation

- Has told so many of the guys off before for harassing girls or not taking a hint

- She’s a guardian angle ngl

- A whole bunch of people having a crush on her and it’s getting kinda rough

- If the person is respectful she’s really nice in rejecting them (or at least tries), she was mean about it like once and felt so bad after

- She knows she comes off as pretty harsh and it’s not always intentional yk

+++

- You probably meet through extra activities i forgot the name

- She gets a crush p quickly but like y’all wait till you rlly know you work as a duo before you dare ask her out

- Like you wanna have sth behind your question and what you say yk

- Okay i gotta stop writing but !!!!!! will fix this up and write more next week

- Also send requests or fandom talk please and thank you

[nekrosmos]

Hello there :3

First time actually popping into your asks, but I've been stalking your art (nicely) for a while and holy moly your nikprice sdhbfjgnk i obsess. Wanted to pop in to see if your feeling any better :3 Give you some things to maybe distract yourself in these hard times, cause ik how that is and it sucks but you gotta lotta ppl to help and care <3

Firstly, you've prob answered before but fav ship?? Not just CoD but anything at all, and why?? I love listening to ppl ramble abt their fav things man.

And HOW ARE YOU SO GOOD AT ART I aspire to be like you, I adore your style so much I wanna be able to draw somewhat like you its unreal teach me your ways.

Hope your doing alright, may doodle some nikprice in the near future to make u feel better, just for you :3

Flowers to help you feel better :3

Hi there !! Thank you for your lovely message <3 Been feeling a lot better today yes !! I'm working on a piece rn and I'm taking my time with it this time, and ngl it feels good. Might have burned myself out a little trying to post something almost every day.

Fav ship honestly gotta go to both GhostSoap and NikPrice, It's honestly pretty rare that I end up shipping two canon characters together, I'm usually more of an OC x canon character or straight up OC x OC, but CoD has been a nice change from that !! Obviously I'm in my NikPrice era rn but GhostSoap still is very special to me <3 Also love Alone x Soap :3c

As for how I am this good at art, I don't think I am but thank you ?? 😭​😭​ I'm completely self-taught, never took an art class in my life, and art has always been a struggle. I'm originally more of a creature artist so drawing humans is always a pain in the ass but all I wanna draw these days are fanarts so hey.

I use a ton of references, can't draw without them, and there are a bunch of tools out there to help you out also (I recommend this big list of softwares, websites, tutos etc, it has a bit of everything ! ). Also don't be afraid of tracing pictures, don't care what people say, tracing is fine as long as you're not tracing someone else's art. Add some regular studies and you're golden ! Also don't hesitate to study other artists' artstyle. Like say you like how someone draws hair, how someone else draws mouths, just spend some time looking at their art and try to understand what they do that you like !

Hope this helps out a bit, thank you again !! <3

[polyamorousmood]

Thoughts on dating a mono person as a poly person?

My gf, s, is mono n im poly. When we first started dating i had already been dating another poly person, x. S was uncomfy with the poly aspects but said she didnt mind dating me while i was dating x so long as i didnt really talk about it to her, ig since i was dating x first.

X and i didnt work out for separate reasons and me and s are still together, but she is 100% mono, and im not.

Ik we wont be together forever bc were quite young and the chances of that are slim, plus i dont think id want to marry someone i started dating so young (which she knows and more or less agrees with me about). So ik the "problem", if it even counts as one, isnt permanent.

I enjoy me and s's relationship but the poly-ness of me are like "but new and different ppl too please?" I like variety, and have interests that she doesnt enjoy (like kink especially). Theres no one in particular im interested in rn outside of s, but if there were to be she wouldnt like it or be comfortable with me acting on it...

Idk if it would come down to "be poly with other ppl or be mono with me", but idek how to broach the subject with her or if i even should rn since it's not yet relevant.

Sorry for the rant lol, what do you think?

Bluntly, I think you're stressing too much for a relationship that already has an expiration date lmao

If its something you think you'd like for the time frame you're with S, I think its reasonable to be like "I'm not looking right now, but if I did meet someone else I wanted to date, how would you like to handle that? Would you still just not want me to mention it?" but it is likely to be an EXTREMELY uncomfortable conversation if it was a don't-ask-don't-tell policy with the last person. I would stress that its not a big deal right now, but if something ever came up, you'd want to handle it in the best way possible to not accidentally hurt S. Try to get ahead of how you think S might react to this conversation. Whether that's "I don't mean to make you insecure, but I just wanted to make sure we're clear about...." or whatever, but if you're going to say something, acknowledge going into it that it will be hard for her.

I generally think any style of relationship can work, given the right people and common understanding. It is very hard to reach an understanding with someone who isn't able to frankly discuss the situation, but I've seen workarounds, so 🤷‍♂️

Just live your life. If you're as young as you're making yourself sound, you're gonna fuck something up somewhere along the line, and that will be okay. Do what you can, with the energy and knowledge you have, and that will have to be enough. Even if it wasn't "right".

[pigeoncrying]

dear Lumiere havers... how do u feel... the girlies that got them in 30 pulls and the girlies that got 2 5 stars in one 10 pull... what the fuck did y'all do in a past life (or this life). please share. I need that insane luck. or more discretionary income. both, really. (more ranting below haha)

ik there are old players (ppl that played from the start) that don't like the reruns because they got it the first time but as a new player (Jan this year) I'm very grateful for the reruns because otherwise I'd never have the chance of the cards. sure, I don't get the whole event and in terms of Lumiere i only got 1 out of 2 cards (pulled too hard for calebs myth and sylus' bday lol) but it's worth the last min abyssal chaos grinding x maybe in another year I can afford Lumiere for combat 🙃

p.s. look at how xaviers pouty face at seeing the mask 🥹 (ignore how low the quality is lads is devouring my battery rn)

dear infold please stop giving me aftercare coins. wb aftercare dias 👉🏼👈🏼 that wld be nice,,,

[fairycosmos]

I'm sorry to do this bc I know you get so many ppl venting and you have your own shit to deal with and yet ppl on here constantly implicitly ask you to console them which is incredibly emotionally labour intensive. However all that being said. I found out my cat who is 9 but is very young looking and active and shows no sign of pain or suffering has large cell lymphoma (general prognosis 6-9 months) and I'm literally broken. She's my best friend. I've been through years where I've had no friends but I've always had her and she's everything to me and I've known a lot of cats who live to late teens so I had expected that for her and this has come out of nowhere and is just so soul destroying because she is my whole world and I love her so so much. she's literally saved my life (have been at the point of kms so many times but didn't for her) and now she probably wont be here next year and I don't know how to keep existing without her and I didn't know who else to tell. I really appreciate your kind and honest presence on this site it's very cleansing and healing and ik this is a parasocial thing to say/feel but you are like a friend to so many. so thanks. even just having a space to say this stuff is invaluable. You have helped and comforted and offered love and insight to so many people despite your own suffering. Much love to you, I hope the universe treats you with lots of kindness going forward.

i am so so sorry to hear this - sometimes i honestly can't believe how cruel life can be. i wish there was something tangible i could say that would make a change to what you're feeling but my experience with grief (all types of grief esp preemptive grief like what you're dealing with) has proven to me that words often ring hollow when you're going through it. i do want to offer some understanding and some comfort despite that, i just know it may be hard for you to register right now and that's alright. losing a pet is so so deeply painful and it's completely normal to be devastated and taken aback by this news - anyone would be. at the same time it sounds like your cat is deeply lucky to have you and to be loved so completely by someone. while what you're both going through is horrific, i am so glad she has you to take care of her and that she ended up having a wonderful life with you - the gift you have given her and continue to give her every day just by being her owner is huge and i hope you continue to remind yourself that as you confront there next few months. she is warm and fed and taken care of and she has the best chance of living longer with her condition bc of the care and love you continue to show her. i know this is much much easier said than done but please try to take it one day at a time and make every moment count with her - it's easy to get lost in the idea of losing her but she is still here and you still have time together, albeit not as much time as you both deserve. i can't stand how much of a gamble of luck everything seems to be and how horrible things happen to ppl and animals who truly deserve so much more - that anger, despair and incredulity still hits me day after day and i feel it very hard on your behalf rn. you have every right in the world to process that sense of feeling like your soul has been destroyed on whatever timeline works for you. as long as you continue to move forward, hour to hour or minute to minute despite it all.

are you able to talk to any friends/family about this? i only ask bc pet loss is one of the hardest things in the world to go through and i think having some sort of super system could make the days feel a little more manageable. if not, please feel free to message me and share updates, stories, vents etc about your cat and how you're doing - i lost my childhood dog a few yrs back and i do understand. it's such a heavy feeling to carry around with you all the time. i would also recommend joining a pet loss support group as another option too, bc so so many people sadly completely get what youre going through. i hope your little girl is doing OK today and that you are taking care of yourself as much as you feel able to as you process this news. if you need to break down, go to sleep, scream, punch pillows, be numb - that's alright. there's no wrong way to react to this. i just hope you give yourself some grace as you do. sending so so much love to you both - and thank you so much for the insanely kind words by the way. you didn't have to say that and it really made my night better that you did. so sorry you're in this position. X

[crguang]

Weeeeellll since you said it’s ok to continue sending in asks. Could you give us your thoughts on Hamel and Garofano? Ik you’ve made some post about her before but now I want an 12 page essay like you did the others lol. And also perhaps Shalom too? If you think you’re able to give thoughts about her if not maybe just some thirsts? And is there any characters that have caught your attention? Personally I thought Eleven would have been in your favorites but maybe she is just not top 5. I’d like to keep asking about the characters but i think I should ask about the ones you actually have an interest in before sending in my own 12 page essay on asking you questions about them lol

-🍷

omg this hydrogen bomb… hamel and garo in the same ask… i got you. i havent met shalom or eleven yet! shalom is one of those characters that i already know i’ll love because people have said that she’s similar to kafka (hsr) in personality so im very very very excited for the 2nd anniversary so she can come home. ppl also gassed up flora unfurl a LOT so i have high expectations for that event but i know i’ll love it cause it’s yuriful. for eleven, i hvent played her event but her design definitely drew me in because she looks gorgeoussss. i love her battle kit as well but since i dont have her i have no idea what kind of character she is yet. i would say that the characters i like so far, off the top of my head, are: hamel, adela, zoya, nightingale, angell, garofano, shawn, oak casket, chelsea, sumire, uni, cabernet, bianca, chameleon, cassia, BAI YI!!! i know little about bai yi rn but she’s a menace so i already love her. im mad she isnt home yet ive wanted her since day one </3 interrogations/events play a big part in me getting attached to characters so if i dont have them it’s usually hard to tell if i like them or not but i like a lottt of them passively.

i’ll start with hamel, my angel… she makes my heart so full. i want to protect her from everything and let her dance to her heart’s content i would always be her most devoted audience :( her strength of mind is incredible. she’s such a pure soul who’s gone through unimaginable trauma and she still regards corruptors as beings deserving of peace instead of monsters like everyone else. she spent over 20 years dancing for an audience that was keeping her trapped in the darkness and instead of wishing for freedom, she wanted to stay and heal them at the expense of herself. her compassion is admirable despite what she’s been through, how her mother was using her and how the previous audiences she danced for never appreciated her as they should. at the end of the day, this is how she expresses herself and whether it’s for corruptors or selfish people, she has to dance. i love her dedication to her art and the beacon of hope she’s become. she means a lot to me because of her character arc. she was stuck at the bottom of a lake for decades, surrounded by darkness and contamination, and at the end of her interrogation she has a newfound purpose and people who appreciate her art for what it is instead of using her to console their souls. she’s able to dance for herself and her freedom being described as a spring day made me so emotional; i got a tattoo on my forearm that says “you are spring” on my darkest day to remind myself that the bad times eventually pass and rebirth is inevitable. it’s the same for hamel who’s now free of her past torments and who creates life where there was only despair. it’s really inspiring, she’ll always be my favorite character because she reminds me that a barren land can still grow beautiful things.

hamel is sooo beautiful. she was the first character that caught my attention, i got her like my second day playing the game and immediately made her my profile picture and put her on my home page for her pretty design. i love her hairr!! she looks like a mermaid, and the jellyfish she conjures up are just as cute as her. just like adela, she looks a little trapped in her clothes when they should allow her total freedom of movement so i love the contrast of the leather with the flowy dress, it’s a really nice touch. her outfit inside the black ring is different because this is how she appears to the corruptors, an angel in white. it’s so prettyyyy i love her so much.

her voice is so soft and seeing her discover new things through supervision incidents is heartwarming, like that time she tried ice cream and her eyes lit up🥹 she’s my baby fr, she doesn’t like physical touch but that’s okay, i’d still spend all my time with her. she has such a comforting aura ughhh i love her the most.

for garo……… hehehehehehe it’s pretty straightforward honestly. i have a very specific type and she fits all the boxes. i did her interrogation because i was bored and saw on her profile that she killed her husband so i was intrigued, i love widows who killed their spouse it’s a trope that i’ll always like lol. i was very pleasantly surprised when she revealed herself to be a deceiving, manipulative, lying, possessive freak. she’s so meant for me. older woman with a controlling personality? i need her. i love characters who lie so much or embody other people so much that they lose a little of themselves in the disguises they wear. garo is never straightforward when asked anything; when Chief asks about the identities she portrays she says something vague about how she’s able to lie so well because there might be some truth in them. very curious about that but i guess that’s all she had to say… and i havent made it far enough to know about the purpose behind the garden yet, so there’s really a veil of mystery around garofano for me. and i love unraveling my characters, that’s why i gravitate towards people who are reserved/closed off/hide or lie a lot. i love garo’s mastery over her craft and i think about that MBCC lovepost every day of my life. a woman who could effortlessly kill me yet chooses to caress? *takes a deep breath*

garofano’s ECB is my favorite. it’s her at her rawest, her most vulnerable, her fear and lack of control made obvious, and it’s such a different side of her. the art is fucking insane first of all, but my favorite part is the emotions on her face. the cracked picture frame, the bed of flowers as if laying in front of a blazing fire, the mannequins on the floor, the tears on her face— everything is so messy. a far cry from the control she now constantly has over herself. losing people has made her deeply afraid of it happening again, so much that she starts objectifying those she cares about. they’ve become possessions to be taken from her, and her desire to help others only stems from the need to not be abandoned again. she likes to be needed because it means that people won’t leave her, it’s so sad😭 i hope she can understand that she doesn’t have to be useful to be wanted. but she’s so gentle and i don’t think that’s a front, i love that about her. sinners come to her for help with their clothes and stuff it’s so cute i want her babies

her design is very cherished by me but i need to see her naked. very grateful to aisno for giving her a different shirt in her P3/ECB art just so that they can show us that boob window because i would’ve never known about her mole and that’s unforgivable. shes so sexy man… the tape around her neck like a necklace is really clever and her apron is super cute, she dresses like a grandmother lowkey with that shawl around her shoulders hshshfnd i’d still hit. 10.99 billion times. her bangs weirded me out at first but i’ve come to love them, they’re original i suppose… she actually makes me crazy like i need that old woman so BAD. she brings out the wolf in me that’s screaming “BREED BREED BREED BREED” like you called me a lesbian in heat well that’s really me with garo. the things i would do to her would weird out sigmund freud. i can’t even say them all because i still have some shame but like that anon said, we’d go freak4freak. the things i would do to hear her call me a good girl in that deep ass voice of hers… oh my goodness. it scratches my brain every time i bought her fucking skin just to hear that playful, “careful!” every time i log into the game. got me cheesing every time fr

my home screen is literally this picture of her birthday art and i almost made it my lock screen but my dignity stopped me… in short, she’s THE character for me attraction wise and if we get put in a room together i hope the building is empty because everyone will be hearing us.

[writers-get-biters]

actually im so upset rn abt so many things. this familial stuff is hurting us like shit. we can't be openly afamilial bc that's not a safe option for us rn but this playing pretend shit w family fucking hurts. were so tired and frustrated. we want to just scream about how fucking unfair this all is. offline, we can't trust a single fucking bodily adult person. it's not even a matter of safety in every case but our trust in adults offline has been corroded by bullshit fucking ageism that affects every fucking part of our life. idk. almost the worst part (aside from having like no fucking freedoms) is that we feel fucking bad. we feel bad that we're afamilial. we feel bad that we've been hurt by our family and the adults in our life that people tell us we're lucky to have. part of it is that like a number of our friends or ex-friends have shitty fucking abusive parents, and in comparison our family consists entirely of saints (besides us). and it's true; our family isn't abusive at least not how 99.9% of ppl define abusive but it just makes it so hard to explain why this shit hurts and why it isn't okay when we have kind of always been known for having a "normal" family. I mean it's not like we can even tell anyone how much it hurts us. to our offline friends, this would seem like privileged pointless complaining (which kinda fair enough?). to our family,... obviously we can't do that. idk it just all fucking sucks. I want to be free so bad but that isn't possible ig.

as a last ditch effort for getting out of scrutiny for the tiniest attempt at bringing up youth lib/pro-autonomy stuff ("idk maybe its not okay to force people to do stuff even if its "good for them" :/"), had to bring up that time they forced us to eat diet bars instead of lunch for like a week or two (cant remember; mightve been a little longer?) and then the bodys dad just fucking said he didnt remember and he was sorry and "maybe it wasnt the right thing to do" then asked me to accept his apology. was also expected to fucking hug everybody. why the fuck do we even ever try. i mean ik why. bc we hate being a fucking bystander in our familys ageism but it never even fucking works and the bodys younger family members are so fucking propagandized into it already they pardon it all. i hate this shit. no wonder some of the others of us wanna fucking die at this point

fuck this shit. i hate family

[broodsys]

never felt the need to make one of these before, but why not? i've given much of this advice piecemeal over the years, so here it is all compiled. note that none of these are rules, they're just suggestions for things that have served me well. my biggest writing rule is to reject all writing rules tho, so :)

brood's writing advice:

"just write" is overly simplistic. sometimes you have to seek out the reason you're struggling to write and you have to be accepting of your own limitations. are you really stressed lately? are you sick? is there a major change in your life? if you're struggling in other ways, creativity is going to be harder. it can be extremely frustrating, but it's worth being gentle with yourself

two cakes. i think the vast majority of creative individuals deal with imposter syndrome, comparing their work to others, etc., but the cliches are true: you're the only one who can write your story. and there will be people who appreciate it. you have a specific voice and you can't eradicate that from your work in order to replicate someone else's voice, but your voice has a range, i promise, and you can find many ways to utilize it. also true of other forms of art, but i'm just talking writing rn

beginnings are hard. endings are hard. and sometimes you have to let things percolate for a while, let your subconscious untangle it for you. in these instances, i find switching to another project or a writing exercise to be helpful - it keeps me engaged with literary processes without undue pressure to begin or finish one individual piece that's troubling me

writing exercises: they're sometimes about writing, of course - stream of consciousness, poetry, planning, whatever. but i've also found it useful to have them be about words. one of my most productive writing exercises is to just start writing words. they aren't meant to go together at all, it's meant to explore my personal vocabulary, to find terms that have drifted away from the front of my mind, but it also loosens you up and gets creative energy going in a very low-impact way

scene transitions can be really difficult, as can moving from the climax into something with lower energy. something i've found generally effective is to showcase your pov character's reactions, either through introspective reverie or action, even and maybe especially mundane action. they just had a massive climatic moment? okay, how are they going to act when they're getting ready for bed that night? will they be distant and distracted, will they be hyper-focused on the small tasks, will they be clumsy, will they throw themselves into bed carelessly, will they be unable to sleep? following them through their reaction lets you guide the reader through the decreasing energy as well

smut writing: ik ppl can struggle with this and there's so much to it, but the one piece of advice i will offer is to lean into sensory experience outside of the smut. what surface are they on? how does it feel? are they cold, do they warm up, are they sweating? ongoing work setting the scene can help break up the monotony of action that can sometimes be troublesome in smut, bc a lot of the actions are repetitive

[cosmicdream222]

sorry to be morbid again but do you think we can manifest passing away early? im honestly past the point of wanting to exist and just want to get over this thing that im supposed to be a successful person but im not so idrc if i do or dont live

so many ppl on tarot related blogs ask about their fs but if we dont meet them does it matter and would they just move on with their life? like i think u have to have ur life put together but its genuinely so hard to do these days so i hope my fs wont be sad at all when i die cause i wouldnt be able to make tnem truly happy anyway cause im not happy myself with how things have been

ideally i wouldve done something in a sport or music but that ship sailed long ago and now im so stuck but id hate to be reliant on someone else and i shouldve moved out into my own place but housing is ridiculously expensive where im from and taxes dont help anyone. it takes years and years to pick up a talent so i have wasted those years and ik im just going to struggle to get past 50 if i were to have my own place bc minimum wage jobs suck arse and i dont want to be doinng something lame not that its lame for others to do it, its just not what i wanted to have done at all

you cant even get a degree without needing to fork out hundreds and thousands so yeah none of its easy and sure you can try subliminals but lets face it the systemn we are in is fucked up big time so rn i cant even bother with daydream about how it could have been or the what ifs i had done smth differently or if i had any talent but then theres still the, im too old and too foreign to do any sort of music as most successful groups nowadays are korean and even if i tried to do what they did it would probs end up killing me some way or other

its just either about having to be wealthy or having some type of talent both of which id fail at anyway as i shouldve done it years ago like a normal person who goes from being so so at something to being great at something.

i truly think i was born in wrong generation or i just shouldnt have been born at all then i wouldnt have to fret constantly abt these types of things. i think if the government genuinely sorted shit out for once and helped society ppl would be happier to work for less but im not happy at all with the current state of things. i feel guilty for existing and i hate it sm like god just let me end my life pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee there is nothing worthwhile in store, ik we could try shifting subliminals but have those genuinely worked? like u exit this reality and straight into the one you wanted originally? but then i might as well just pass away cause id have to know what i want in another reality

My dude, take a deep breath. You’ve ranted about all this same exact stuff a bunch of times now and I’m just gonna repeat the same thing I said to you last time:

All of that stuff you mentioned about your current reality is an illusion. Time is an illusion. It does not matter what you’ve done in the past. The economy does not matter. Your present circumstances do not matter.

I’ll add to that: Whatever some tarot reader or TikTok psychic says definitely does not matter. Idk what fs means but I’m guessing something like a twin flame and that is especially 1000% bullshit.

The spiritual community has created an incredible amount of false narratives to make excuses and blame outside forces for why things aren’t going their way. None of it is real. Seriously forget everything you learned about fate, karma, astrology, or anything else that’s saying something else is in control. Reality is an illusion. YOU are in control.

You don’t have to identify with any old bullshit anymore. Stop repeating the old story and think about what you do want. You can have literally ANYTHING! You say you don’t know what you want, ok, but you know what you don’t want, right?

I don’t want to work -> I want to live in a reality where I don’t have to work.

There, you just figured out something you want! It’s that simple.

I totally agree that this society is a horrific shitshow and I don’t want to be aware of it anymore either. But it’s just one version of reality available. It’s not the only reality and it’s not the original reality. You don’t have to be aware of it anymore if you don’t want to be.

You also don’t have to involve death at all. There’s a lot of misconception in the shifting world which has lead to concepts like “permashifting” and “respawning”, but those just all assume this current reality is the original one. It’s not.

Have you watched The Matrix? It’s really more like a documentary than science fiction lol. Just like in the movie, we are being tricked by a simulated virtual reality, controlled by a society that’s using us for our energy. Just think of reality as an escape room. We’re escaping the Matrix. Once you figure out how to leave, you don’t ever have to go back. There are infinite realities available to you, and none are more real or right or original than any others. Remember, death is not an ultimate, nor does it exist in all realities.

I am scripting a utopian reality with my best friend where there is no death, aging, or illness. Everyone is a master manifestor so they always get whatever they want. Nobody has to work and there isn’t even a need for money because we can manifest anything instantly. We can just relax and get massages all day. Everyone lives in peace and harmony and abundance. Animals are treated as equals to humans, we can all communicate with each other, and we can all fly and teleport. Because why the f not? 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

And if you really don’t want to exist (I’m guessing that other ask from a couple weeks ago is you too lol) you don’t have to exist in this reality, or any other. Removing your awareness from all physical reality is known as entering the void. You exist there as pure consciousness, and you can stay there as long as you like. It is you as your highest self. There’s nothing negative about it.

As for the whole subliminal thing, shifting subliminals are just one method. Shifting = manifesting = deciding what you want and experiencing it. It’s something we are always doing and is available to all of us. You don’t need any methods to shift besides intention. We just use methods to convince/calm the annoying human brain that is programmed with society’s limits.

[seattlesellie]

this is super random (also this is my first msg to u hi <3) and i’m honestly asking this generally to anyone else who also happens to read this, but recently i’ve realized my sexual orientation and come to the conclusion that i’m like REALLY attracted to women (as a woman myself ofc). so obv this made me also think abt how someday i’m gonna have to tell ppl close to me abt this but i’m literally losing my mind cause i’m NAWT vulnerable especially w/ my parents 😭 and also i just now was watching a tiktok live that was full of homophobic ppl and whenever i see that on the internet, it makes me wanna go deeper in the shell (or closet lmao) that i already am in. like it makes me realize how many horrible ppl there are that won’t accept smth so simple (i’m also very emotional as u can see 😍) so like tbh i’m not sure what i’m seeking here but ig i’m just curious if u or anyone else has felt like this/what helped u come out? like it’s so hard for me to be open and as someone who recently graduated and is going to uni, in a completely diff country alone, i’m gonna have more freedom and if i were to date another girl, it’d feel unfair to my parents if i didnt say anything prior abt my identity. ik they’re also very supportive, which i’m thankful for, but i just HATEEE vulnerability. idk man :( it’s also very weird finally realizing more abt myself. it makes me SO happy yet so so so scared? aarrghh idk sorry abt this long message, u seem like the nicest person and this place feels safe, so i just felt like i could ask/find some kind of relatability. 💗 sorry again for this long ass rant LOLS 🌟

okokok im gonna tell u my coming out story because i can awfully relate to this ?? n adding a read more cos this is so long sorry <333 🤧

literally knew i liked girls my entire life and like suppressed the shit out of it. would try and date guys all throughout highschool and would feel so terrible afterwards… but like you, i was super uncomfortable with that type of vulnerability and also barely had any gay friends, let alone any gay female friends. so i spent my life just thinking im gonna be in the closet forever !! until i met my now ex gf, she would constantly be sleeping over— but i did the classic thing of telling my parents she was just my new best friend, until one day my dad was like… be so fr rn are you two dating. like you said, my parents are also very liberal and supportive (especially my dad), but still— it made me panic and drop a mug and deny deny deny !! then, after being together for like 6 months it was incredibly hard to hide it, and obvs she felt super uncomfortable bc i was super closeted and she was super out. so i kind of had to come out to my parents (i hid under a blanket and told them i have an important thing to say n then they already somehow knew). my parents and i literally never talked about these things like my mom didn’t even know about my first kiss or literally NOTHING about me, we didn’t have that type or relationship at all so i can relate to u so hard !!but like here’s the thing— i don’t think it would be unfair to your parents, this is your story to tell and you should do it when you feel comfortable enough, and if it takes you dating a girl for that then so be it. you shouldn’t worry about other peoples feelings about this, as this is yours to tell and not theirs! as long as you’re in a safe environment, coming out can truly be such a big fucking relief !! like that absolute weight that drops out of your chest is so so freeing. if the people who are close to you love you— they will accept you. if they won’t? truthfully, they don’t deserve u and never have. about the homophobia, its always going to be here, unfortunately for us hateful and bigoted people will always exist, and that can be extremely stressful and painful, which is why surrounding yourself with people from your own community is so so important and necessary. uni is such a good place to do that !! so many new people to meet and especially queer people to surround yourself with !! i super understand your fears but the good things that happen after you come out— that feeling of no longer needing to hide yourself is so so worth it 💗💗💗💗

[matchalattegreen]

this isnt a request

well i lie it sorta is

cuz heres the thing

i saw ur post

about u struggling

and dang

i get it dude, i swear, life is so freaking hard. its so stupid and so meaningless and horrible. some points u just go numb.

and honestly, im w u. life is so sad and it seems so much better to just. be gone.

and at first

as i sat typing this out

i was going to type some meamingless bs about how life is great tho and u need to keep living

but im not gonna do it. bc ive gone down this road before (many times) and getting a lecture wont help imo

HOWEVER i am going to tell u this. i love you. i love your brokeness, i love your numbness. you are perfect. and yea, i know ur struggling, and yea i know life is sh*t but i love u and i dont want u to go. i dont want u to be suddenly inactive and gone. please stay

and i know ur numb right now and i know its hard to breathe, but let me try to give u some oxygen. please. understand that there are ppl out there who love and care and let that be something u feel. look at the stars and feel stupid bc ur so small. or be filled with wonder. try to feel

dang now im lecturing

u dont have do to any of it

just try. please

amd if u dont thats ok. i still love u. i just want u to feel a little bit better. and to stay here.

hope this helps

oh damn. Just the fact that you took the time to write all this out- thank you. This is rly sweet and honestly helped me a lot rn. Thank you so much

and ik that you prolly sent it in anon for a reason but could you pls dm me just so ik who you are? Pretty pls but if you don’t want to ofc no pressure

thank you ❤️

[kierancaz]

Ok so I just watched episode 5 of the pjo show and honestly I might get dragged for this but I have some very real criticisms of it that I want to share. And if you enjoy the show that’s fine, I’m enjoying it to but at the same time I have a lot of issues with it and want to talk about it because I think being able to be real and critical of stuff that you like is important.

I think I’ll start with the pacing because that’s my biggest issue with it rn. It is moving so fast it feels like it’s just doing the spark notes version of the book. And ik we are all on the train of adaptations not having to be exactly like the book anymore, (which is literally just a thing that came about bc of this show and if it was any other show to book movie I think ppl would have a different tune but that is an entirely different conversation that maybe I’ll talk about later because I find it very interesting tbh), but the show is cutting out a lot of stuff that I feel was very important to the characters and in the books. I don’t know if this us because of the episode count or the episode length of if it’s the right, maybe it’s all three, but I feel like because the pacing is so fast the story is just breezing past a lot of emotional beats.

Which brings me to my next point. I have not felt a single thing watching any of these episodes. In fact I felt more about this show when I watching a single clip from episode 5 on TikTok than I did while watching the actual episode even at that clip. The show is so bad at building tension for literally anything. And I know everyone hates the movies and all that but the movies scene with Mrs Dodds had more tension and life than the scene did in the show. And I’ve heard people dispute “oh Percy has been seeing stuff all his life he probably thought that this was just that and didn’t realize it was real” but that has nothing to do with this. Why didn’t Mrs Dodds lead him away from all the other students? Why would she attack him in broad daylight when she’d aware that Chiron and a satyr are there? Or even if she didn’t know Chiron was there if she knew there was a demigod there she should’ve at least suspected the presence of a satyr.

The chimera fight was also very disappointing. Now I don’t remember exactly how this fight went in the books or in the movies but I don’t need to remember to know that this fight as equally tensionless and emotionless as the Mrs Dodds fight. And yah, they’re kids, it doesn’t need to be some epic battle or anything, but there should be tension. We should feel a least a little nervous even if we know what’s going to happen. Ngl. I don’t even know what to say about the Medusa fight bc I don’t even remember what happened. I don’t remember what happened in the books when it came to Medusa besides Percy cutting off her head and sending it to the gods. I’d definitely have to reread the books again before I comment on the change of theme surrounding Medusa and like half of the main theme of the series because Rick did some serious reconning with this stuff but unfortunately my books are lost somewhere in my basement.

I do think the Minotaur fight was fine really good though. The bond between Percy and his mom was built up really well and it was pretty devastating with that last scene between them. You could really feel the impact that Sally’s “death” had on him. However, it was so fucking dark it was hard to see half of what was happening and I’m gonna talk about that more later.

The next thing I want to talk about is the acting/casting. And before anyone says anything this has nothing to do with Annabeth being black or Percy not having black hair. Their characters feel flat and honestly I think that if it’s anyone’s fault it’s the directors and the script. I’ll use Walker as a reference because he’s the only one I’ve seen in anything else, in The Adam Project he was brilliant. Like there were multiple times where his performance alone had me in tears. That movie had me ugly sobbing at least three times and Walker was definitely part of the reason why.

In the pjo show he just feels… dull. And a tad bit lifeless which is baffling. How do you even make a character like Percy Jackson that, I’m sorry to say but, boring. Even the movies managed to give him more personality than the show, and I genuinely hate to say that but if I had to rank all the Percy’s show Percy is at the bottom which is so hard to say because Walker is perfect for this role but still he has more Percy Personality in that Kraft Mac and Cheese ad that he did with Ryan Reynolds. I do realize that part of this could be because we don’t have Percy’s inner monologue, sorta like what happened with Harry in Harry Potter, but there are ways to combat that like having a character be more expressive and stuff and that is also just not happening.

*(Also if anyone of curious my Percy Ranking goes 1: book Percy, 2: musical Percy, 3: movie Percy, 4: show Percy).

Speaking of expressiveness, Leah as Annabeth is also very disappointing because in her interviews she seems so Annabeth and I can see why Rick choose her but in the show all of her lines are delivered the exact same and the most emotion we get from her is a pinch of her eyebrows. And it’s a similar issue with Walker because he doesn’t emote that much either and neither does Aryan so I’m definitely thinking that it’s an issue with the directing instead of the actors. I don’t have much to say about Aryan. He’s ok, he has the same issues as the others of just not having a lot of emotion or very good dialogue/line delivery but again I don’t think that’s his fault and instead the direction of the show.

Listen I think they’re all incredible and the chemistry that they have in interviews is amazing. But the fact that I can see more of their characters in interviews than the actual show is insane, especially because it’s so obvious they all care about their characters and the world of Percy Jackson so much that I think if they were left on their own they could do this show perfectly but someone behind the scenes is stamping down their performances for the sake of the show taking itself too seriously.

Charlie and Dior were both great for the screen time they had. I mean not much to say about them tbh bc they didn’t have that much screen time but Dior’s scream after her spear was broken was literal gold. Adam Copeland as Ares was amazing and Lin Manuel Miranda as Hermes is quite possibly the worst thing that they could’ve ever done.

I know a lot of people were praising the change they made with Annabeth and Percy’s relationship and how that instead of disliking each other because of their parents they disliked each other because of bad personal impressions. But honestly I have to disagree. If I remember correctly Annabeth disliked him because he was son of Poseidon, and Percy disliked Annabeth because she was rude to him. And to me that made perfect sense because Annabeth was literally being indoctrinated by the gods/what they teach at camp for years/half her childhood why wouldn’t she hate Percy based solely on the fact her mom hates his dad? And I think that was actually kind of important as a character trait and I’m pretty bummed it was changed. (Ngl tho like I said earlier I haven’t read the books in a long time so I could be wrong about this, I’m just basing this off what other people have said about the beginning of their relationship in reference to the show and the books).

Also going back to what I said about the lighting ‼️SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 5 ‼️this really pissed me off because so many shows do this and it only started becoming a real problem in recent years. In episode 5 when Percy and Annabeth are entering the amusement park it is so goddamn dark I could not see what was happening. I have no idea what that machine over Percy’s head at the entrance was or looked like. I don’t know why it made him so scared because I could not see it. I could not see their faces as they were talking. I could literally barely see where they were when they panned out to show them walking through the amusement part and this makes no sense to me. You have this huge elaborate set that I would really like to see but it is so dark the only things I can make out is a ferris wheel and maybe a bumper car? I could not see shit, it was so annoying and so many new shows do this where the scenes at night are just so dark you cannot see anything. And I get that sometimes it’s intentional, you’re not supposed to see what’s going on, but this is not one of those scenes so why am I having such a hard time finding our main characters?

I really need to reread the books again and when I do I will add more to this probably or just remake the post. But so far I think the show is really mediocre and pretty disappointing, and I think it’s important to point this stuff out and not just heap piles of praise onto the show just because it’s written by the og writer of the book. We’re definitely going to get more seasons and I would like those seasons to be better than this one and actually let the actors shine and for the show to reflect what was so amazing about the books. Also, I just want to say that there are moments/stuff that I like about the show and as critical as I am of it it’s because I like the series, not because I’m just trying to be a hater. But seriously, I used to hate the movies with every fiber of my being but because of the show I have a new found appreciation for them, which I think that in and of itself says a lot about how the show has been so far.

[theproblemcallednight]

ur hostess is in pieces

alr y’all. the final wungo wednesday. i’m not exaggerating when i say this ep broke me

quick intermission before we start: this is in two parts bc there’s a lot in this ep. i split it roughy halfway through the ep

also this is a rewatch so some of my initial feelings r gone, but i’m doing the commentary based on my initial reactions so that’s why i double back in my opinions

obvi spoilers for bsd anime and manga, y’all know this, time to go cry

aww we don’t get the op song? buts it’s so good

ah yes. aku u look lovely.

bram by boiiii yessssssss. spit out the facts

AYA NO. UR FATHER SAID WAIT LISTEN TO HIM PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ

JDJDJHHE AYA BABY :&:$$;$:783$

he cares so much omfg my heart me brain by fucking life is gonna explode

WAIT IT ACTUALLY CAME OUT???? AYAS ONLY LIKE 50 POUNDS THO. i think that’s a lil under 25 kg. BUT STILL HOW WAS THAT SMALL AMOUNT ENOUGH

omg yes, fukuzawa is slaying so hard rn. go girl go. get this bitch

YES. SAVE THE WORLD. LETS GO

yo it’s mr russian man. he looks wonderful as ever. how’d he get out tho…

fedya shut up. ur bc is complementing u admire how cute he is calling u “so damn awesome.” idc wat y’all say i will love nikolai till the day i die he’s so cute shdhdhdhjd

see???? adorable clown man i wanna hug him

ok present night here:

did anyone else thing this explanation was lame?? like cmon. i feel like this is a bones thing like asagiri would’ve done some rlly weird shit and then create another weirder character to make it work but it would work bc it’s bsd. y’know? idk @/ebiichan pointed a lot of plotholes out to me go check her out

ok back to live reaction past night

i’m a simp but i mean. how could i not. jus look at him. jus look. he’s my lil cutie baby

ok but fedyas face. bones what r u doing. u can draw pretty ppl ik that why won’t u let fedya have it

who’s that man?????? shakespeare????

EH?!!!??!! DAZ U PROMISED TO GET HIM GO GET HIM U BAFOON DONT LEAVE MY BOI TO ROT SIGMA PLZ COME BACK.

i jus drew u being badass cmon crome back i miss u 😢 😭😭

does kolya not call fedya dos-kun in the anime? or is it jus this one time bc he’s so surprised???

BRAM YOU’VE BEEN UN-SHISH KEBABED LES GOOOOOO

AYA U GOT A NEW FATHER

omg ranpo fainted????? wat happened??? he seems off??

ok this is rlly funny bc he didn’t even have to ask bram. like jus tell aya to ask him. he’s her father ofc he’d save the world for her

omg

OMG CHUU UR BACK I MISSED U SM!!! GUYS ITS NOT SOKOUKOVER. he’s so pretty omfg

YES CHUU MY BOI. ily my smol king so glad to have u back djdjdjejdi

ok guys look at fedya. he’s so pathetic. bones y did u make him so pathetic.

oh he said sayonara? is it rlly forever? also prettyzai bc y not

WAIT. IS HE ACTUALLY DEAD. NO FUCKING WAY RIGHT????

right present night is back for another segment:

i didn’t take a pic but fedyas last words were in latin. and they were the words that in the bible, jesus said 3 days before he got resurrected. so maybe fedyas gonna come back??? idk i’m delulu

and that concludes the end of the first segment!!! link to the next one below:

prt 2