#im so bad at being consistent in posting
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Quick Nia Portrait <3
#my time at sandrock#my time at sandrock nia#my time at sandrock fanart#my time at sandrock art#mtas#mtas nia#im so bad at being consistent in posting#plz forgive me
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i dont remember what exactly prompted me to draw this
#filler post#?#been doing a lot of going out stuff in the last couple of weeks. lol#drawing over a twitter post right now because i think it's funny#also watching bee and puppycat on netflix for the first time#i need a better work ethic...im so bad about consistently drawing even though i love it#maybe being forced do actually do stuff after summer is over will help with that..... hmmm#boo i dont want to#mob psycho 100#mp100#shigeo kageyama#mob#mob psycho fanart#kinda#meowmeow art
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Nikita 'Nicky' Jackson
Rory's succubus best friend who acts more like their spoiled little sister most of the time. She dabbles in a bit of everything but makes most of her money working at the diner and variety streaming. She's a Widow/Ana main with bad attitude.
#the sims 4#sims 4#ts4#i have not been consistent with how much backstory i include when posting these but its fine.....#ransom got none but tbh i think him being pretty is the most important thing about him so it works#hes baby girl but this is BABYGIRL do u understand#nicky is...my angel....if yall could see the very first sim i made of her omg...shes come a long way lmfao im finally satisfied with her#bih so fine she gets TWO boyfriends#shes v bratty so i guess two bfs are necessary to handle all that#ran and trey are super calm so i guess it balances out lmfao#is maining widow and ana a bad choice now....i ahvent played ovw in years whats the meta
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(spoken through gritted teeth) your experience is not universal your experience is not universal your experience is not universal y
#context: saw a post with 10k+ notes about how seagulls arent that bad#but in my area They Are. they attack people randomly; with food or without#theyve injured elderly people by divebombing them#they consistently scream from around 11pm - 6am. Loudly.#theres been a few nights where ive had to wear earplugs as well as my usual full-volume audio to shut them out#like the post mentioned a guy killing a seagull bc it nicked his kids chip and THATS not on.#but also im malding bc theyve been torturing everyone for the past month or so since regulations here changed#like im not opposed to all seagulls i know that humans have fucked up their natural environment!!!#but if vulnerable people are being sent to hospital because of them then like. something should probably be done about em#anyways i just blocked + ignored bc op doesnt need to see my complaining. but you guys do /silly#1dk rambles
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Thinking abt Sif Odile duo looping au again and I wanna be able to plot everything out more coherently but act 5 eternally looms overhead and boy I do not wanna look up
#rat rambles#stars posting#like I have a vague idea of some of the like themes I imagine being present late game but it doesnt change the fact that act 5 isnt very#duo looper au friendly especially in this case with most of the ideas I have#I rly want it to be both a breaking point for them as individuals and a breaking point for their relationship but idk how to go about that#fully taking the rest of the party into account especially since Im not even sure if I wanna give odile her own friendquests#like I Could but I also think it'd be fun for many reasons to not#and even if I Did itd be hard to justify having both be able to happen and go wrong in one loop#and theres not rly a good solution to that I think so my best bet is probably to just leave odile friendquestless#but Id rly like to still have odile quarrel with the rest of the party in a significant way#idk maybe it can be the scene where sif comes back to the lighthouse or smth?#like he comes back and odile just completely lashes out at him or smth and the others get rly upset with her#but then theres also the whole walk through the house that I have to figure out and Im also not set on how that should go#maybe it can be like reality almost splitting as they both try to use timecraft at the same time?#not sure how Id go about portraying that in story though since the rest of the party cant rly experience that I think#Im sure theres some way you could pull that off tho Im just too tired to have any good ideas atm#and then the biggest bastard comes in. mal moments.#like I cant just put them both there! that's not how that works!#and I dont wanna just leave them mostly vanilla thats boringgggg#but Id probably have to. alas.#afterwards is also a bit fuzzy but I have rhe general idea down#me and the bestie when we both made the same wish but dont know that and have both been falling into a spiral over it#(we dont even realize that the part of the wish that was the exact same was the core of the wish)#(we both just thought that we accidentally trapped the other with us in this hell)#(we also have been actively getting worse at communicating for months now so by the time the wishcraft stuff came up we were both deep in#the no feelings talky talk zone)#(we probably should have known smth was up when everyone started consistently thinking that we had a fight every loop)#(maybe we did but we just didnt want to admit they were right)#god I wish I was more confident with writing odile dialogue I wanna draw scenes from this au so bad#it doesnt help that I got too comfortable being into a media that had like 3 fans and now ppl might actually look at what I create
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Bryce met his classmate Aminah who was part of the Brainiacs. He wanted to join so he could manage studying time and meet with other like-minded people. Half way into their studying, Bryce got a text from Billy telling him about a house party and to invite anyone he knew....and so he invited Aminah and Freddy!!
Join the Brainiacs Group while at Uni ✅️
#ts4#sims 4#ts4 gameplay#ts4 legacy#postcard legacy#this guy being a bad influence already he wants to socialise haha#they were like hell yeah screw this term paper!!#postcard gen 2#bryce reichmann#aminah hussain#freddy daley#also its a change from being not all square#sometimes it looks better not to squeeze everything into squares#and i told you its a new gen new start so ill list the goals#i wish i did this for freegan but i hate eco lifestyle so its ok#see how it looks for a few posts consistency am i right lmao#but im so indecisive might switch back uhhh ill stop rambling
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i started w the scarves like youre supposed to and they definitely are slower....but the mechanics involved in throwing and catching them feels completely different, and also worse for my terrible shoulders?
#toy txt post#juggling#i still have much room to improve on 3 ball juggling. but i looked briefly into the 4 ball juggling out of curiosity and its like#u gotta learn first how to juggle 2 balls with one hand!#and then figure out how to do that with both hands at once. and it feels. achievable. if i could stop being Allergic to catching the ball#and i tried it with the scarves to see if it would be easier but it felt so much worse?#and hurt my shoulders and did not feel like it was helping me learn the mechanics#so i guess i will just sit here struggling to catch with one hand#i can do a couple passable cycles with 3 balls now but its hard to keep going and sometimes i just cant stop throwing and catching Badly#so obviously something i need to work on is better and more consistent throws and catches. which. does not feel like the scarves want to#help w that at all? anyway. real big brain and dexterity hours will be when i can do it while leaning back all comfy instead of all upright#and alert or whatever#i feel like im just. Pretty Bad at throwing and catching and working double to overcome that#idk
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im not like, an "ii critical" or whatever you wanna call it, mostly i just watch new episodes when they come out and feel pretty lukewarm about them, but gotta say its almost comical to me that the newest episode is like "ummmm balloon you should SHOW not TELL..." and then immediately proceeds to explicitly spell out his problems to him verbally. like. alright man sure
#if this was a purposeful joke it doesnt read that way at all. and considering this series isnt particularly. Good. at subtle humor#i dont think it was LOL#bri talks#also like cmon. ep abt balloon's struggle with social standing that HAS past season cameos and suitcase isnt even mentioned??? cmon man...#also man the way they treat cabby just makes me sad#we're not really supposed to LIKE the walkie talkie im sure but the fact it just made fun of her for being awkward#and nobody said anything in edgewise just feels bad. im really not a fan of all that#she's pretty consistently the most charming character imo so its just kind of sad the story treats her so poorly so often#anyway i know all this must look pretty silly to my non osc followers (which is most of you!#im very aware i havent made much of an effort to garner an osc-type audience)#but uh. thanks for reading my post anyway. all you need to really know is this is an animated series i watched a lot as a kid#and now i kinda feel like i should at least see it through to the end even if its nottttt reallyyyy as goodddd ... anymoreeee...
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#whats so disturbing. mostly bc i used to be so content being independent#is that whenever im somewhere. be it alone. or with other ppl. i always wish he was with me NXJZJZJZMMZMZMZZMMZ#LIKE THAT IS SO........... XJJZJKZKZKZK GOD#i went to like. a market today n the whole time i was like... man itd have been so fun if he was here ..... JDJSJZJZM GOD#i have it so bad#but i was always like. if i find someone i like hangjng out with more than i like being by myself... obvi thats the person for me#but when i said that. i kind of assumed that was an Impossibility but oh the turn tables JJXJXJXMXJZJZM#n e way. its just me writing another lovesick post JDJDMJDJDJDJS#personal#im getting close to making a move i think. but kind of want to settle in my job first. and like jddjddjjkdk he Knows i just got one after#looking for a long time so i think hes like. understanding that we havent seen each other Njdjdjz LOL IDK. im just assuming#we have talked consistently every week tho since i last saw him. which is pretty good for us tbh#idk i like that we dont have to talk all the time. i always hated when guys message constantly JDNDJDNZNDN like leave me alone i have a life#JDJDJDJSJZMZ#but yeah... im not worried anymore nor do i feel the need to constantly validate whether he likes me or not. i think at this point its...#clear JDJDJDJJDKXKXJX#WATCH ME BE WRONG LMAO GOD.#ah well... things will turn out how they turn out
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#this is something i usually wouldnt do because i really struggle talking about shit like this because of things that have happened to me in#the past but anyways#i really need white people to understand that a lot of stuff you enjoy and are able to love has bothered poc for years. muslims.#specifically im thinking of eurovision just because i keep seeing stuff like oh i love eurovision but we have to boycott its the right thing#to do!! and while i appreciate people Finally coming to that fucking conclusion. ever since i forst ever watched it the fact that israel#competed and consistently performed so well with votes etc always bothered me so much. but it was popular. everyone watches it#so you sit and try to bear and endure#idk what im trying to say by this#i guess i just want people to be more conscious and look around them#is there a reason certain spaces are mostly filled with white people? is this a place where poc could even be welcomed or feel safe. most of#the time the answer is no. i think especially with the Slow rise of south asian actors in western media and seeing the way people are#constantly bullied. and even just watching some of my childhood shows/movies and seeing the amount of racist jokes. like i always thought i#knew how bad it was. but being reminded. idk. racism just fucking sucks and i wish white people were able to care about it more without#complaining about their comfort. maybe theres a reason youre uncomfortable#i will probably delete this but for now and for whoever sees this ✌️#le text post
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I have this genuine insecurity sometimes that I change my art style too much 😭 like someone's gonna be like "ermmm that looks stolen" and then I'm gonna have to explain that, no, it's just that not a damn thing about me is consistent
#it's happened before lol#ive gotten better about this tho#hence why im comfy posting about it lol#cause i see trends all across my art:#eye shapes. eye brows. noses. face shapes#the list goes on#so it's not like I'm a fraud or anything#i just have a lot of styles#and I'm slowly coming to terms with that not meaning I'm a bad artist for not being consistent#jay talk#jay talks in their tags again like a silly goose
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google am i on the aro spectrum or am i just a teenager
#ideal partner: someone i can flirt with and do romantic things with but most importantly we just hang out and talk about our hyperfixations#ik a lot of ppl say that your partner should also be your best friend but idk i just dont want the whole established relationship aspect#boy asks me do u love me and im like hell yeah bro we r good buddies . boy asks are you in love w me and i short circuit#google help i am yearning so bad but i dont want a partner i just want to meet someone my age who i actually enjoy the company of#we can do Romance Things for fun but thats not the point. the point is reblogging each others posts on tumblr#i think this is just a result of my elementary school years being so lonely like i never had a friend for more than a year#and even the friends i did have we were never close at all#the longest real friend ive had and consistently talked to ive still only known for like almost 2 years#which is a lot. for me. but the concept of just . any sort of commitment even just in friendship is still so foreign to me#and yeah it would help if ive ever actually had a serious crush on someone that i was sure wasnt just a hyperfixation#but that hasnt happened yet and idk at what age i should finally just label myself and stop waiting for it to happen
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I will be forever grateful i can be on this new med. it's one a lot of folks also need and can struggle to have access to! It's important i be on it, especially if i start doing any vid collabs
(some of which, really, all of which, i unfortunately actually need to cancel that were in the preplanning stages, bc the election results have me wanting to wait and see how the general atmosphere of the country is before i agree to meet up with anyone. I feel bad for cancelling, but also i just can't know for sure how safe things are/might be going forward and I'd rather avoid the potential of. ya know. various not great things that could happen at a meet up, tho i would certainly hope they wouldn't. i don't feel like actually addressing them rn, u guys know what i mean)
That said, if the truvada initial side effects could fuck off asap would be so lovely. three weeks at worst, then they should be gone/much better or so i am told. really hope that's true bc losing my mornings to being dizzy and nauseous is Not Working for me lmao. im on week two, and now understand why my new doc said to call if i needed any 'cheerleading' and support to get thru the side effects, bc apparently she's done that for several ppl to make sure they actually make it thru the three weeks and keep on it (lovely of her!!)
#text post#not going to get into the other painful smack of this morning#suffice to say that medicaid does not in fact fully cover vocal therapy/training for trans ppl#even if ur docs feel incredibly certain it is#if i was making a decent bit over minimum wage at consistent hours and already had my current debts paid off mostly#then I'd happily consider paying the chunk Medicaid won't cover but as of now#it would literally be basically two paychecks if not three to cover the estimate for this first visit#and that's only if the poll would have us polling every week like we did before the election#otherwise we're guesstimating it would be upwards of 4 paychecks to cover it#I'm actually gonna get into in here bc nobody reads all my tag essays (fair valid and correct)#im really sad abt this. my voice gets me clocked a lot and while i can mostly handle like. visually being clocked#my voice giving me away genuinely makes me feel a pain in my chest. i can't get my customer service voice to go lower yet#and even if it's my usual voice I've made minimal progress on my own self done vocal study stuff#so like. no one knows how high it was compared to how it is now tho so no one actually hears it as anything near deep#which it isn't but like. there's been a slightly barely there drop of it per at least a couple ppl in my life#i was probably going to be able to learn how to sing again and find my new range. I'd fix my customer service voice#even if it would only ever be a teeny bit lower than how it is now. it would be lovely#im not gonna get too down tho bc someday hopefully I'll be able to make it happen/afford it#and for now...im doing the bad thing of not cancelling the appt yet#i will bc they're booking out for months and it isn't right of me to take a spot i know i can't keep#but. let me pretend i can for another day or two. maybe until monday. then I'll call or msg them on mychart#and let them know i just don't have the funds rn tho i do deeply appreciate that Medicaid at least pays part of it#im just not at a point where i can cover the rest but that I'll reschedule/have a new referral sent whenever that changes#...and hopefully things in this country will be of such a state that such care is still available to ppl like me.#but that's all we're saying on that bc im already having a pathetic little cry over this#(im fine the med side effects have me crying over everything lol i see a sad commercial and Instant Tears like someone died lmaooo)
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*starts drafting a rant on tumblr dot com* *writes a few hundred words* *is overcome by lethargy and omg doesn't sleeping sound so much more fun than this because im never going to get everything i want to express down and it's gonna feel forever incomplete* *lets it rot in my drafts forever and ever*
#liveblogging.pdf#i am a sleepy first and foremost above everything#but yeah just did the thing again#my drafts are a hellscape#so many incomplete rants in there i appreciate people who can consistently write full on rants#i adore reading rants but theyre so much work. critiquing and being a hater is so much work#because you have to be so careful about not accidentally including/excluding some harmless thing you didnt want to target#i mean dont get me wrong ive posted a few of them too#they usually get like 2 notes lol but its more for myself i like having it written down somewhere so im not overwhelmed when someone inevi#- tably asks my thoughts on a topic#and its frustrating stewing in my annoyance#but yeah anyway#i like ranting into the void its so satisfying when i feel like ive gotten my thoughts out semi fully somewhere#like processing all my thoughts takes away that power they have to frustrate me because i know im annoyed but cant fully express why#but yeah i am bad at completing them. thats the drawback of not being able to stay angry for long the sleepy always overpowers the rage#its a blessing and a curse#blessing cause im mostly pretty chill#curse because it WILL comeback to annoy me later if i dont fully process it
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god whatever. WHATever. whatEVERR
#like. the third thing about. wynonna. (television show) is that i found it at the worst point in my life. my LIFE. okay?#and i latched onto this character so hard as i was actively dropping out of school as like. my role model. of it not being the end of#the world. things getting better etc. and it went so so badly downhill but that wasnt even an issue bc im great at bad tv#the third thing is that i was so bad i was so fucking bad and i dove into the fandom#which god. like. i dont blame these discord mods bc they were like 20! barely handling their own shit!#its just i went all in. and allowed myself to be vulnerable and voice unpopular opinions and the thing about that fanbase is they dont care#about wynonna. character. and being in a server a 1000 strong consistently go dead quiet whenever id float something about wynonna hurt bad#i did everything for attention i made memes i made posts i made props. i engaged in this fandom in a way i havent with anything b4 or since#because i made the stupid fucking mistake of confessing that i didnt like how they handled the cop characters!#i didnt like it and i made good arguements and gave my reasoning all with a little air of but idk!! what do you guys think im just a dumb#drop out!! and these people who were like. god. big on twitter on first name basis with cast and crew would say yes#yes you are stupid for thinking this. you are stupid for saying that. youre wrong! youre wrong.#and i have never been able to get into something the way i did that show since#i dont initiate conversation. i dont make shitposts. i cant get over that hurdle!! i want to!! i want to and honeslty#i only realised that i dont Get Into things anymore because of All That like. tonight at my dogshit shift that dragged forever#i would tag this to be deleted later but my insufferable ocd need to explain why i am the way i am will probably win out over the shame#txtpost or whatever#sorry if you got this far. LOL
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I was looking back on the time lapses for the og batch of eternal gales references and it's so crazy to me how many of them I just went in fully raw without referencing any previous drawings of them at all. Like it makes sense since most of them were originally just random designs I doodled during school and I never needed reference to draw them before and like I still don't technically need references for anything but colors for them but still it feels so strange to me. Like what do you mean I didn't always slap like 5 reference images on every canvas before doodling a character who's design I have memorized who is this
#rat rambles#oc posting#eternal gales#tbf their designs Were inconsistent at the time but thats mostly because they were all originally random doodle designs that were still#being developed as designs and as characters#it would take years for them to gain some real consistency in how I draw them#anyways this post is me stalling going to bed because my knee hurts and I was kinda hoping it'd stop hurting before I went to bed rip#its not even my usual bad knee this time cmon dude dont break on me too other knee#man why did I have to treat my knees so badly as a kid this shit is just gonna keep getting worse I know it 😔#I dont actually mind that much but it does become an issue when Im trying to sleep#and I've been sleeping poorly lately so yknow. not great.#idk maybe I should look into doing smth more abt that but its never rly hurt that much just enough to keep me from sleeping well#which now that Im saying it like that definitely qualifies as enough to look into but eh. Im lazy.#honestly its a mieacle that its mostly just my knees that are fucked my back should by all means be worse#I used to have horrible back and shoulder pain as a teenager but I escaped backpack hell#anyways enough stalling I need to at least try to sleep. gn gamers
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