#im slowly making over everyone!
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cas portraits for early birds! 🦩
#cas portraits#sims 4#ts4#im slowly making over everyone!#gonna do some other characters this weekend I think#s: aoife#s: zach#s: avery#s: luna#s: isaac#s: finn#early birds extras
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sorry if idk this but what do you think about Wordgirl now in 2024 do you still like it do you still want to make art or talk about it or are you just done with all of it forever and plus i seen that you haven't made art of it since 2022 so you just done with all of it oh yeah and what about The Magnus Archives + Wordgirl ao3 fic too like is that just going to be and i know that your working on 2 au's now just wanting to know that's all
My interests tend to come in intense bursts and then fade. Unless something like, big happens like it gets a reboot its unlikely I'll be coming back to it anytime soon. As for the fic I don't have any current plans to finish it unfortunately.
#Its so shocking whenever anybody mentions that fic to me#like its just such a specific combo of interests how are there this many people interested in it...#I have some fragments of unfinished chapters for it laying around but I was struggling to get them to work#and I definitely dont have the motivation to finish them now#If youre curious the chapters were going to be Slaughter avatar miss Power and Web avatar Mr Big#and possibly Flesh avatar Butcher but I never got around to starting that one#The Miss Power chapter was basically going to be about her having kind of lost her thread#I wanted to leave a lot of ambiguity as to what happened with her home planet#but she hadnt been in contact with them for agessssss and her radio is damaged and her ship is in bad shape#the chapter was just going to be her being like 'pfff I dont interpersonal connection Im doing great out here. Murdering. All on my own'#Well she has her little squirl thing but she treats him like an animal#mr giggle cheeks or whatever#anyway I wanted it to imply that whatever happened her bloodthirst was destroying her#The Mr Big chapter was from Lesley's perspective#She would have been one in a long long line of assistants that Mr Big went through like candy#Lesley is his favorite though because. while she is terrified of him. shes still willing to push him. to be honest with him#but she also knows exactly when to step off. when to lie to appease him#( its always a tossup as to whether he wants a sweet lie or the harsh truth that day. He can always tell either way#its a gamble he does to be cruel. She always picks right though. or maybe he's more lenient with her than he should be)#He likes that she knows exactly how to push him without ever stepping over the line#He likes that her guilt and revulsion are slowly eating her up inside but shes too selfish to leave#She likes being special. She likes the idea of ruling the world alongside him#She'll always be second in command but shell be so much higher than everyone else#and shes willing to do anything to get that#Mr big doesnt think shell ever make it that far#but he likes her anyway#shes the one assistant he'll be sad about dying#OK damn apparently I did still have things to say about this old fic DAMN#still not gonna finish it tho. they call me the struggler becaus.e writing is a struggle...
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cant believe that after driving the car, riding the train, booking a hotel room, having a nightmare, visiting the father in law, visiting a hospital, making a friend, and escaping an assassin, the incomprehensible Horrors™ are back at it again and harder to bear than ever 🐻
#fandom related#malevolent#i feel just like arthur that after having some Normal Time and time w friends and family the Horrors are even more horrifying than before#also How is this man driving. w zero eyes and one arm and one leg. i imagine John is like#slow down arthur! hit the gas arthur! while steering. and arthur is shifting the gear. except that john has no experience in driving#so it would be like someone during their first ever driving lesson. creeping along slowly. being way too slow or way too fast for a given#situation. cops would stop them bc arthur isn't even looking at the road. he is bumping into so many other cars or the curb.#parking like shit. does john even know what the road signs mean 😭 and oscar got into the car w him#maybe he was too busy reading that book to notice. or too enchanted by arthu#*Arthur#if arthur had a white cane he would constantly lose it while falling down holes or trip over it running from the horrors#i think it's been mentioned only 3 times that he can't see. to those cops on the lake to daniel and the butcher has mentioned it#honestly king shit running around blind and w only one arm and leg w the voice of an ancient god in his voice. also they are fucking driving#*in his head#why can't you edit tags on mobile!!? or do i have to update tumbler for that#anyway ever since starting malevolent ive been realizing i should be more grateful for my eyesight. my eyesight is already bad and i need to#wear glasses 24/7. also i have a diagnosis that has a kinda probability of making me blind once im old or smth#i mean eyesight decreases for everyone as they get older right. but yeah. and i v likely won't have the voice of an older god in my head to#help me see. so gotta be grateful now#i should go to bed it's almost midnight but i have to listen to the next episode i need to know what's going on and what will happen 😭#still hoping nothing further will happen to oscar and that he and arthur will stay friends. if you're reading this and you know this won't#be the case. nnnnggh :')
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I've been looking for this one au where Len basically becomes a mad scientist and turns his friends into robots one by one for a while now, and I'm beginning to realize that I just read through your blog while half asleep a few months back and mixed together my memories of your flower hivemind and composite au
this is very funny to me. i'm absolutely honored this blog's posts were enough to evil-farming-game an entire vocaloid au into your memories 😂
i can give you this doodle; it's composite au but i'm sure it'd fit very well with this theoretical mad scientist len au lololl
#ask#anonymous#this is ALSO funny to me bc of 'mad scientist' and 'flower hivemind au' in the same paragraph. it reminds me of an old scrapped idea#i had about where tf the flowers even came from in the first place but i ended up never doing anything w/ it#i've been thinking abt composite au though uag i want to do more w/ it... rip the unfinished refs and one google doc thing i have#shaking myself like ITS OKAY IF THE STORY KINDA SUCKS AT FIRST!! YOU NEED TO START SOMEWHERE#cus i mean i wouldve never gotten anywhere w/ Certain Things had i not started with the og shitty versions. which were SHIT#but its wild to think ~7 years later i transmogrified them into the things they are now. wack. makes me wonder what will happen#to stuff im making now later down the line if i go and revisit it. SO CONCLUSION YES BITCH GET OVER YOUR FUCKING ANXIETY#i think my other problem is i'd loveee to reveal it slowly with like art pieces comics etc but i dont got time for that 😔😔#CURSE WITH LITERALLY EVERYTHING I MAKE TBH not just fandom shit but original shit too. i need to get over myself#cause i do know respectfully not everyone has the skill/time/desire to pick apart things for symbolism so a clearer explanation#would prob be more accessible. and easier for ME TOO TO HAVE SHIT IN ONE FUCKING PLACE MAN. actually how i've been taking notes lately#sorry these are some longass fucking tags im talking to myself. just went into a new academic year w a lot of stress#so thinking abt my own crazy stories keeps me sane and makes me feel like i have control over at least SOME aspect of my life#anyways circling back mad scientist len sounds incredible lowkey though lmao. its always the stem lens 😔💔✌️#JK?? but i do joke abt composite au len partly going insane bc he's a biochem major essentially so yeah bitch i fucking get it 😭 no wonder
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「A hundred years had passed. So, so much has changed in the world, but not as much to Kazukiー
And the golden vestiges of someone still donning an all too familiar scar, smiling on the back of his mind.」
#read tags#given how kazuki is...well he is immortal#i kinda wonder what would happen a long time after the post-series#100 years immediately popped to my head because i was listening to lyrico's kiseki no hana#everyone he knew on the island would be dead#:(#idk if kouyou is still alive#i mean most likely yeah but im not sure if he has the same blessing of eternity like kazuki#would make me fucking emotional if he doesnt#of course there are the mir children/core that keeps being born again over and over but theyre never the same person. yk#what if tatsumiya ended up sinking forever for good in the future#back to kazuki he probably had stopped aging and stuff like that (but still grows. aging =/= growing guys)#so he remained pretty much similar to how he look 100 years ago. just longer hair#i like to think he decides to grow out his hair so he keeps remembering soushi#soushi is technically still there in a way because he stays in kazukis memories#as sad as it is#bro im gonna fucking cry what if kazuki gradually forgets soushi#not in a moving on way but in a its been so long that his memories of him starts to slowly fade way#in the angstier scenario he starts forgetting soushi to the point of almost forgetting him completely#and hes traveling the world all alone again#for eternity...#(this considering kouyou doesn't have the eternity blessing)#FUCKING BAWLING#soukyuu no fafner#makabe kazuki#minashiro soushi#soukazu
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i love my oc fo i love my oc fo
#nooo fr like i love how everyone's slowly appreciating ocs and making them their fos 🖤🖤#hes such a darling auauauauaua ‼️‼️‼️#i cropped a few of my friend's doodles cuz im embarry sowwy 💔#i havent been drawing him enough its a hard life here (me - the sole producer of his content /lh)#dont u just love the idea of giving him flowers 🥺 i certainly DO#silly champ 🥺#there's something about rhys that kind of puts him in the middle ground between steven and red#in that medium of casual to formal - he's right in the middle#he has some class but he's also very goofy ykwim .... everyone adores him for his looks and he probably radiates cool boy vibes but#the moment layla appears he's a bumbling fool going errmm errr emm hello ma'am errm HEHEEHEE#ill be honest i kinda like calling him kevin rhys (first name) it started off as a joke since i drew him over kevin a couple of times but...#it's digging in me... 🥺 cutie patootie name#rhys.oc#💚 for me#bee tag
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the way Miguel conceptualises the alternate self and Gabriella is sooooooooo ahdhdjfj god he’s so mentally ill and emotionally isolated. like, he views himself and the other Miguel as functionally synonymous (“I found a universe where I was happy”) and thus sees Gabriella as essentially as much his own daughter as she was to the man she actually knew.
#miguel o'hara#miguel and spiderverse’s silence on our Miguel’s family life just leads me to think they’re either dead or the relationships he had w them#are so broken as to be unsalvageable#but man. MAN. he wanted that life so badly he considers himself to be synonymous with alt Miguel. And his attachment to Gabriella IS one#defined by him going that’s my daughter 🥺❤️ oh her dad is dead? I’m also her dad! and that life looks so happy and SHE is what makes it so#why can’t we both have that.#god. he needs therapy he needs ALL of the therapy and also like. a hug. dude. you’re so damn depressed my guy 😔#im thinking spiderverse the narrative doesnt dig into the whole. you didnt RAISE this girl miguel thing ik you love her but you're not her#father thing because theres already sm going on in the narrative and its more streamlined to keep his conflict solely on the canon conflict#but in world id wager the reason other characters dont dig into that with him is because like. how do you even approach a conversation like#that. for all the messy and fucked up moral complications theres no doubt that miguel SINCERELY loved gabriella. and considering timeline#wise this all went down a few months ago and everyone has been busy mopping up anomalies. ofc no one wants to have this conversation if it#doesnt look like it needs to be had <- miguel just slowly losing his emotional gourd in the corner over just. ALL of this lmao#tunes talks spiderverse
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how i feel rn
#i have a headache i cant talk about my problems i feel unloved and i cant have fun without someone or something ruining it#im probably thirsty or hungry (i cant feckin' tell anymore) and if i stay in this state any longer im gonna die#(still not gonna talk about my problems to anyone around me tho bc i cant let them know.#because if i do itll make me feel worse + wont solve anything bc they wont listen + its opening up to some1 i distrust)#(but i dont have anyone else (and probably never will since the pandemic is over(ish)) so ig ill just slowly rot away or whatev on my own)#(also based on those taking care of pet games bc everyone who was supposed to take care of me failed#and if i die because of it#its all their fault.)
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#so.... i have toughts.#about 'Escaping Virtuality'.#one of them was ''what if Caines human body was created using bits and pieces of the others' bodies''?#it would explain why Kingers prescription worked for him#it would also explain where he got his human body from.#i think ive talked about this but im pretty sure Caine would have difficulty walking#We havent seen him canonically walk in anything. he just... floats#im pretty sure that hed be incredibly wobbly whilst attempting to walk#i can already imagine him holding on to one of the other humans because he kept falling over#he hasnt seen his own face yet either#it would be amazing to get a description on how caine looks now when he sees his face in a mirror.#i wonder how hed react to seeing his face.#you know that strange feeling you get when you stare at yourself in a mirror?#the whole ''that is me.'' feeling? the one that gets you entranced and makes you focus on the details of your face?#...the question is- how would he see his own face?#Widows peak hairline. Hooked nose. And of course- he'd have those two mismatched eyes!#and what would happen once everyone else got outside outside of the office building?#are they considered missing in reality? how would those that were close to them react?#or does time pass slowly in the digital world?#and theres Caine. he definitely doesnt exist in legal terms considering that he was previously an computer AI#now that Caine is no longer an AI and is just himself without any code controlling him in any way whatsoever-#how would he react if he realised how messed up some of the stuff he did as ringmaster was?#hed probally have a breakdown and a half#ive been re-reading chapter 3 ever since i woke up and because of that my brain keeps thinking of random ideas related to it#and how do the rest of the humans look?#it would be great to hear as i could finally draw some scenes from it! :-)#EscapingVirtuality#seasalt speaks
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like not to double post but. how it feels to be the only person in the office who has to sign up for the non supervisors session (which is not the session for leaders btw!!! because you can’t be a leader if you’re not a supervisor obviously!! 🥰🤪✌️) when i am quite literally a supervisor just a) not formally / exclusively in this current moment (in part bc that’s not how we even do supervision) b) only of student staff.
#purrs#i want to punch the walllllllll this is the exact kind of situation that makes me dandrously mentally ill to the point where i consider#quitting and lying in the street also. i know it does not matter i know im being absolutely demented over nothing but ummmm… tfw da#circumstances and situations make you feel belittled abandoned negated etc etc even when they are not the ones that actually matter and#everyone else who knows and cares about you sees your worth and wants you in the room and stuff. idk. lol im so miserable#delete later#the violence of being inbetween in so many ways… the way this has been my experience for 1 year and also 5 years and nothing can be done but#wait and fight it slowly and suffer in the meantime bc it’s the long game but it’s killing me. lole 💖
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i’m not like other girls, my “Rest” stats are a heart rate of 110bpm and a HRV of 14 fucking milliseconds. :)
#Seven’s Public Diary#vent#vent post#cw vent#cw vent post#cw health#cw heart#i’m so stressed :) i am soooo fucking stressed and my body is Suffering because of it#i want to just lay here and stare at the ceiling but. maybe a little venting will help#sighhhh wish [N]MbD Sun were here to obsessively fret over me#he can be mean about it idc. at least i’d have someone acknowledging how bad things are for me#sometimes i wonder when the last time was that my body Wasn’t in fight or flight to some degree#have i Ever actually relaxed#hhhhhhh c-ptsd is a bitch#anyways there’s so much to vent about but i’m. doing my best to be vague. i need to be more vague about things#a lot of stuff i can’t vent about anyways. it’s too personal#so instead i’m gonna complain abt how i haven’t been able to play Genshin or Star Rail for nearly a month now#and about how slowly my back is recovering. it’s like every time i re-injure/have a flare up. it heals.. worse. slower and lesser#i dunno how it’s ever gonna get better. truly better. maybe i’ll live with this forever#if being fat is the problem which is definitely partly is. then yeah i’m fucked#all of my problems just make each other worse and i don’t know where the way out of it all is#every time i think i’ve found it i’m wrong and i just make it all worse#anyways as soon as i figure out how to strengthen my core without breaking my back. it’s over for u bitches#‘u bitches’ being uh. all of the shit that needs doing that i cannot physically fucking do right now#i miss being able to sit down. and i’m Regretting de-converting my standing desk back to sitting bc now. i cannot use my PC#which means i can’t fucking do a some of my work or play my silly little gacha games and i’m mad abt it#i’m mad abt a lot more serious things too but again. can’t talk abt it so i’m gonna focus on trivial shit instead#anyways. sorry as always to everyone i haven’t spoken with lately. and in general. i’m so drained from the Everything that i just. can’t.#it shouldn’t be this hard for me to stay in touch w ppl but. it is. guess i’ll add that onto my list of things to be stressed about#i’m so tired of everything man. and i hate being so negative and mean when im stressed & in pain. makes me feel like im becoming my father
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i am going to need. lots of luck and whatever else it takes to survive tomorrow pls hope i dont have to deal with any losers 🫶
#ive been working towards slowly being more visibly trans and tomorrow ig marks the#kinda official point ? that im fully going by leo and all that i dunno. itll probably be fine but from here on out im visible bc im soo done#hiding.! so from here on out everyone in my life is gonna know 👍 its taken almost year of me hyping myself up to get to this point kdjfhdj#scared but excited i think ^.^#this past month ive been making a lot of big decisions abt what i want to keep doing and what i have to let go to let myself just be Me#its been a lot but im hoping im making the right decisions <3 im ready to move forward w whats best for me#ok rant(?)personal update(?) over we can all resume being silly now :3
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i replayed turnabout trump again for like. the 5th time i think??? god its such a good case
#ace attorney spoilers#i literally cannot get over the foreshadowing that only really hits when you play the case again with full context of the game in mind#'is this your idea of revenge for what happened 7 years ago'#kristoph projecting 'settling an old score' onto phoenix when that was actually HIS motive#also just the fact that phoenix and kristoph here were basically divorcing in court in front of everyone very bitterly BDKHKAD#also how kristoph's sprites are slowly revealed over time#you go from only seeing his normal ones to suddenly the one where he has his hand on his glasses#then the one where he looks up kinda evily and then the twitchy ones the hair in front of his eyes yadda yadda#they did not have to start this game off with such a banger of a case but im so glad they did#also yes i have played this case specifically 5 times though i should say i have not played apollo justice itself in full 5 times (yet)#the first time i played it i was emulating the game on citra but did not get past the intro to turnabout corner on there#the second time i got the cartridge for christmas and played through the game in full#the third time i started to replay the game only a week after beating it the first time (i don't remember if i made it to the last case)#the fourth time was another replay attempt but i stopped at turnabout serenade#and the fifth time was just today where i intend to replay the rest of the game in its entirety again#i am very normal about Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney (lying)#anyways im gonna make sure i actually make it to turnabout succession this time lmao#i dont think ive gotten to that case since i played the first time and i wanna see kristoph's final case as well as see vera again....#turnabout serenade is always about where i stop when replaying the game#i didn't mind the case the first time i played the game but now its kind of a roadblock to me#turnabout trump is great and i love turnabout corner!!#and then there's serenade... but then there's succession!!!!#anyways NDKABDKJD#also don't get me wrong i like serenade just. not as much as the other cases
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me: yippee yippee friendsgiving tmrw i get to see the people i used to see all the time but have barely seen for awhile!!!
the horrors:
#just me rambling again#sigh. i am very anxious.#one of my recent shitass sad little notes app things i wrote down was making note of the fact that over the past few months i actually have#watched one of my deepest set fears become reality and its sort of fucking me up lately :/#(the people i love and care about would actually have completely happy and fulfilling lives in my absence and thus my presence is in no way#necessary or needed or important to the wholeness of the lives theyre living)#or whatevr#people i loved more than anything are out being happy and moving on and are living life completely ok without thinking about me as a person#which is fine and normal but. uh#not good in my brain lately :((#but! we stay silly :3 been slowly working on a new tattoo its turning out honestly even cuter than i expected#ive got a couple stars on one of my hip bones im gonna add a few more having them sort of curve#and its also exciting bc i think i might have my first professional tattoo when i have the money saved up be#a similar but larger patch of stars on the other hip how cute is that !!!!!!!!!!#little joys keeping me going#alas. the horrors are neverending. but there is always stick and poke tattoos and shitty mixed drinks and danandphil games#AND HYDROXIZINE i love you hydroxizine everyone say thank you frogs doctor for refilling anxiety attack medsssssss
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i wanna know where ppl got this idea that im like infinitely praised or something so i need to be constantly humbled bc like... im kinda the only one out here supporting and validating me and I have been like my whole life so......
#who is this for#can you just say you wanna abuse me and go#vent#yeah im overly confident and i have a persona whos full of himself. kinda gotta be when you're the only one giving yourself confidence#in the first place.#all ik is if i was infinitely praised i would have never started cutting myself.#im quite literally the only one keeping myself alive emotionally and mentally. im like howls house at the end of howls moving castle#when its slowly falling apart and just BARELY making it by#the fact you're able to mistake my confidence as some sort of cultivated thing by people in my life should tell you how this has#been going on since i was a child and ive needed to build my own confidence. ive had to become my own parent.#it seems cultivated because *i* cultivated it.#otherwise i wouldve just let everything everyone said about me make me kill myself even if theyre literally just being judgemental assholes#when you have no one who counters that in your life you gotta be that for yourself.#i promise- most likely whatever you've come up with to try to humble me with ive already 'humbled' myself plenty over.#unless. of course. its some bullshit you believe from someone who abused me and has to create a narrative of their ultimate victimhood#so you think im some sort of mastermind manipulator abuser or something. then no ofc i havent humbled myself over that#bc theres nothing to be humbled over. ill get back to you when i actually do that shit.#theres already plenty to criticize we dont gotta make shit up to hate me over you losers.#if you feel like its not good enough justification to hate me as much as you do w/o believing lies then maybe you need to learn#how to not invest that much energy into hating other people that you need to literally believe bullshit to justify it
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today is the first time in like forever that i kept my hair open for the whole day without hating them by the end of the day and they're so soft and i tried on dark maroon purple lipstick yesterday with my bestfriend and she was like whoa. you look like. hot. and Mature. and i told her i love her because i kept using pink because it's cute pretty girly and i wanna feel pretty but it didn't really suit me but this this dark shade it's perfect i feel so confident and sexy and i hung out with my cousin little sister rn we used to be closest bestfriends but we drifted apart because of papa-chachu drama in childhood but
#she came over and she was like i don't have company to smoke with come on smoke with me#and i was like aaah okay#and she's so cute she's like okay have this vape after the cig to like remove the bad taste#and i gave her change for auto cause she didn't have any and she was like ill pay you back and i was like girl please shut up#choti behen hai meri itna toh kar hi sakti hu and she laughed and was lke arre aise hai fir toh main itne mein nahi maanungi aur do#so i was like bade hoke pakka abhi itni hi aukat hai#it's nice i feel happy#i also leaned my head on my office wali senior ka shoulder cause i was superrrr sleepyyyy today#only for like a minute but she was like aww are you sleepy it's okay so ja i understand this and she patted my head gently#like you know side face pe they pat🥺🥺🥺0#and like i was like do you need help what do i do when she was working and she was like kuch nahi i just need you to sit here next to me#and keep chattering#it's so 🥺🥺🥺#like this is big okay she's kinda very cool and smart and like real focused and serious okay she doesn't like disturbances#and i love her brain i want to be curious and sorted like her i love the way she understands things slowly but completely#like just work wise i aspire to be her everyone gets so impressed by her i do too the sir was like {her name} ko ab bank audit acche se aa#gaya hai ab wo apne aap bhi kar sakfi hai sign kar sakti hai#WHICH IS SOOOOOO COOL like bhai he's a very good ca okay crazy intelligent and to have him say that. just wow#and i was whining to her ki everyone sucks my relatives suck nobody even appreciates that im killing myself trying to make a career here#all my mami cares about is that why couldn't i take ek din ki leave and show up at her fucking dance practice😭😭#so she was like aww it's okay leave them ill say it you're doing very good {my real name} im proud of you#i literally said awww thank you out loud itna sweet tha na#wow a happy vent post this is a first
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