#im sick as a dog and having a hard time putting this into words so i hope this is intelligible

[lycansprites]

Something about of the whole batfamily so far that it's Bruce and JASON who have become beastly. I know that this changes down the line but there's something a little fun in these two specifically having werewolfism lite mode at the same time and both being WOLVES (presumedly); Jason, who turns in his grave over being anything like Bruce. And in the same vein that Bruce is more or less on the very same, base level of understanding and instinct as Jason. Both of which still maintaining the drive to protect, to different degrees and introspection.

[vrystalius]

Hey babess, i have quite the heartwarming request.

So imagine that wife reader is heavily and her water randomly breaks so ofc she gives birth with the help of shinobu(i love her so much) and other midwives ofc. So how would the hashias react during the late stages of pregnancy and birth??

Hear me outtt, what if preg reader was pregnant with twins(im a big family girl lol, i had to let that out). Stuff stuff

Hashira’s reactions during your pregnancy

You’re heavily pregnant. How will your husband react?

Note: I didn’t include the gender and names of the babies, so you can choose the genders and names yourself!

Pairing: Sanemi, Kyojuro, Gyomei, Giyu x fem!reader

Includes: Food cravings, mood swings, sickness, talking to the baby, birth and a little bonus scenario in the end (different for every hashira)

Words: 5.1k, enjoy!

Sanemi Shinazugawa

Food cravings

What? You want to eat ohagi again? Sure it’s Sanemi’s favourite food, but you’ve insisted on eating ohagi for every day the past week. The baby needs some vegetables, fruits, vitamins and whatever else. Just anything but ohagi!

He couldn’t even watch when you proceeded to devour sweet potatoes with a chocolate sauce. The worst part is that Sanemi is the main chef of this household and was forced to cook all kinds of monstrosities for you during your pregnancy. But he never said a word about it and just silently judged you for even asking him to bake a whole fish just so you can covered it in sliced fruits and chocolate sauce.

“Are ya sure you’re not poisoning our baby? Are ya really, really sure?”

Sometimes, Sanemi’ll try to sneak in healthy foods into your diet like one would to with a toddler. He’d chop the vegetables as small as possible and try to feed them to you in bits by bits by incorporating them into your favourite foods. You weirdly enough never noticed how your ohagis began to taste like carrots more and more.

“What? No. I’m making them like always. I.. just used the same knife for both carrots and the beans of the ohagi… Whatcha looking at me like that for??”

Mood swings

It’s very confusing to Sanemi how you can be happily munching on your snacks in one moment and then began crying about a dog wandering the streets, thinking someone abandoned him. He’s putting up with it, though. He’d would take you into his arms and try to explain to you that no, that dog is not living on the street and that it belongs to the nice old lady that lives just down the street. He gets a little nervous every time you get emotional when standing in the nursery and inspect all the prepared toys and clothes. Why are you crying so hard? Do you not want a baby? Or are you just this excited to have one?

He doesn’t get your mood swings but’ll try his best to give you reassurance and support. Even though Sanemi’ll be a little awkward and just hover around you in fear of triggering another random emotion in you.

“Hey, darling… how about we move to the bedroom? The nursey is makin’ ya emotional. You’re gonna loose control over ya bladder and I’m gonna be forced to clean after ya. Again.”

But most of the time, Sanemi’ll get soft when you get emotional over the baby stuff like this. Sometimes, he’ll sneak into the nursery during the nights he can’t sleep and rumage all the baby’s things. Sanemi would look through all the neatly folded baby clothes Giyu send over and the toys Tengen’s wives made themselves for the baby. He can’t help but get a little teary-eyed himself, leaning against the crib and looking down at the soft mattress below. He just can’t want to have a little baby in there.

“Fuck, don’t sneak up on me like that! A-And ‘m not cryin’, I-I’m just checkin’ on the crib. Y’know, if it looks stable and shit. It gotta handle our fatass baby.”

Talking to the baby

Sanemi loves to lay his head against your stomach and just listen to the baby’s heart beat. His hand would gently caress your stomach while mumbling against your skin.

“Whatcha doing in there, hm? Why are you kicking your mommy? You’re hurting her, y’know.”

It’s a weird sight, seeing a strong man like him baby talking to your stomach while having his cheek pressed up against your belly. He’d take at least one hour in his day just to talk to your baby and tell it aaaalll about your and his day.

“Your mom threw up onto our new carpet and that’s your fault, you know that, right? I’m gonna kick your ass for it one day. Maybe when you become a shitbag in your teenage years.”

Sickness

“In both sickness and in health,” and Sanemi meant that wholeheartedly after speaking those words out loud during your wedding. Even if that means sitting beside you in the middle of the night, holding your hair and patting your back while you throw your guts up. He’s sleepy, he’s tired, but he won’t return to back without you. If Sanemi has to, he’ll cook up some tea or soup for you to calm your stomach. He’d even break Shinobu’s door down for some herbs or medicine if it means making you feel better and cuddling you back to sleep with no worries.

“You’re okay, I’m here. Don’t hold back.”

If you’re throwing up for a while, Sanemi might fall asleep in the hunched over position while holding your hair behind your head, his hand still firmly resting on your shoulder in quiet support. He jumps back awake when you throw up violently again.

“Ugh, you good? Told you seaweed n’ cherries don’t go together…”

Birth

Sanemi wanted to complete one last mission before retiring for good. He noticed how his muscles were starting to soften up and the callouses in his hands began to disappear. Just one last mission, then he’ll become a full-time dad! He promised you it’ll be for just three nights and that Shinobu will be looking out for you while he’s gone. You two can talk about preparations, body changes and whatever you two always talk about.

He was close to tracking this scum demon down when he received a message from his crow about you going into labour. Sanemi wanted to go on a mission one time, just one time! Can’t you hold the baby in or something until he comes home? He knows that he has to behead this demon before coming home. That thing already did enough harm and he didn’t want to retire on a bad note by ditching his final mission. So, Sanemi proceeded to chase the demon down while steaming in anger. He wanted to go on a mission just ONE last time, damnit!!

“COME BACK HERE YOU PIECE OF SHIT!! MY WIFE’S GIVIN’ BIRTH, WHILE I’M CHASING YOUR SORRY ASS!!”

Shinobu helped you through the whole process of giving birth. The contractions and labour lasted for almost half a day, and you managed to almost broke two of the three butterfly girl’s hand in an attempt to release some pain. You were supposed to hold Sanemi’s hand and almost break his bones while giving birth, not theirs! Shinobu kept reassuring you that Sanemi surely is already on his way! Surely. She had her soft smile on her face the whole time while you pushed and screamed through the pain, reassuring you and offering all kinds of ways to relieve pain during the whole process.

After Sanemi returned from his missions, he was staring at two babies in your arms. His eyes darted back in forth from the one to another. The baby on your left had beautiful white hair and was squirming around a lot, grabbing your robes and was seemingly already complaining about the lack of feeding you’re doing. The other baby had darker hair and was much calmer. It was asleep, resting against your chest.

His heart shattered in a million pieces after processing what just happened. In a good way, that is. He never commented on it, but Sanemi did notice that you were a little bigger for being pregnant with only one baby. He just brushed it off as being a bit bloated or the baby being really big, but never that it were two babies that were hogging all the food you were devouring. Sanemi was bawling his eyes out while holding both of his babies in his arms for the first time. They’re so tiny, so cute and chubby! How could anyone not love them? He was barely able to speak while trying to express how much he loves you and is so glad that you and the babies are fine. This is everything he had ever hoped for: a perfect wive, a family home and two kids. If only his other siblings were here to celebrate this moment with him. Perhaps he’ll allow Genya to visit every now and then.

“I-I- *hic* W-We need an-another- *hic* … the crib’s not b-big enough- f-for- *hic* gah, f-fuck!! *hic*

Bonus: A tight crib

You noticed how Sanemi insisted on putting the babies back to sleep every time they woke up during the night for anything. You usually fall back asleep and wake up in the mornings back in his arms, but tonight, you wanted to wait until he returns to bed to cuddle him. After the babies quieted down and your husband didn’t return, you dragged yourself out of bed and stepped into the nursery, only to find Sanemi laying inside the cramped crib, having the baby lay on one side and the other on the other. He was laying in an extremely uncomfortable position, with hid neck bend at an awkward angle and him laying in the crib with his legs dangling out over the edge. You couldn’t help but giggle a little, seeing your husband scarfing his own comfort for his babies.

“Nemi?…”

Your whispering made his eyes flutter open. His face contorting into a tired scowl.

“It’s the only way to put ‘em to sleep, not my fault they like me so much.”

Now, are the babies attached to their papa, or is Sanemi being very attached to them?

Kyojuro Rengoku

Food cravings

Whatever you’d like to eat, he’ll provide! Sometimes, if the combinations you come up with sound appetising enough, Kyojuro’ll even try some the foods alongside you! He will not judge you for craving weird foods during your pregnancies, but he is a little worried about your choices. You need to make sure that you eat enough nutrients for you and the baby! Kyojuro’ll try his best to cook up something nice for you, but he ends up buying take-out and feeding that to you instead. He’s scared he might burn something or accidentally poison you, so he’d rather leave food up to the chefs.

“I brought some tempura, some soup dumplings, ramen, udon noodles, mushed and baked sweet and regular potatoes. Oh! And some dessert… Mochi, dango and a slice of cake! Everything you ordered, my flame!”

Shinjuro, after finding out about your pregnancy, would offer to cook for you sometime. He used to make meals for Ruka while she was pregnant, so he thought he might make himself useful and help out. Kyojuro’s father actually vowed to stop with the drinking to make sure his grandkid doesn’t grow up around a drunk grandpa, so this is a first nice step for him. Besides, he feels guilty for being so terrible to Senjuro and Kyojuro.

His meals are surprisingly very well made and tasty. They soothe your nausea, lessen the swelling in the feet and help a lot with your headaches.

“Father, I never knew you could cook this good!” “Shut up and eat your plate.”

Mood swings

Kyojuro feels like he’s causing your mood swings sometimes. He feels guilty when you start crying over little things, like how your favourite tree is starting to change colours in the leaves, or just how much you missed your husband after him leaving for half an hour to get you dinner. He’s used to comforting Senjuro while the two grew up together, so he might know a thing about holding someone. Kyojuro would pull you closer and place lots of kisses on your head and top of your head, rubbing your shoulder with his warm hands. His warmth is very comforting to you, making you calm down a little.

“Are you feeling unwell? What made you so upset, love?”

He’ll try to cheer you up by talking about baby names. In his family, most of the names sound similar and end with an “juro”. Shinjuro, Senjuro, Kyojuro… how about Tojuro? Sounds nice, doesn’t it!? Or how about Kijuro? Or how about you combine your first letters with Juro? That sounds very fitting! And see, your tears are already gone!

“I’m not sure if we should think about girl’s names, my love! My family birthed sons for generations now! But we can write some down if you like, just in case.”

Sickness

Seeing you sick makes Kyojuro nervous, but he’ll stay beside you during your morning sicknesses and nausea. You kind of remind him of his mother, back when she was in the late stages of her sickness, that’s why he gets a little jumpy when you hunch over the toilet snd wretch your guts out. He’ll hold your hair and gently caress your back, silently hovering beside you.

To make sure you don’t have to get out of bed in the middle of the night to throw up, Kyojuro equipped your nightstand with a bowl you can throw up into anytime you felt nausea hitting you.

“I’ll make some tea for you once you get nauseous again, okay? My mother’s recipe.”

Talking to the baby

Kyojuro loves to talk to your stomach as if the baby is already out and able to talk back. He’d sit beside you in bed, gently caressing the side of your stomach while grinning brightly.

“What kind of hair will you have, hm? Like mine? Or like mom’s?”

Sometimes, he’ll try to convince the baby to let you sleep for once. If you can’t sleep, Kyojuro can’t sleep. He’d lay his head on your chest and sleepily mumble to the stomach while slowly rubbing your sides.

“You’re quite the active one, hm?.. mh.. How about we go to sleep together, okay? Be a good kid and give your mommy some rest…”

Birth

When your water first broke, Kyojuro thought the baby might’ve kicked your bladder or something, causing you to leak. But the horror on your face that followed soon after changed his mind in an instant. He sent out a crow to Shinobu, notifying her about your labour, but it might take a while until she arrives. In the meantime, your husband prepared all the things for a homebirth. You probably wont be able to reach the butterfly mansion in time to give birth there, but in the meantime, would you like water? Food? Sweets? A towel? Maybe not the last one because you’re able to hit him with that. You’re very angry about him impregnating you nine months ago while being in painful labour right now.

Shinobu surprisingly arrived very quickly and got right to work. Her soft voice and kind words as encouragement managed to calm you down as far as to not curse Kyojuro and all his ancestors out. Your anger directed at him actually helped you press the baby, so your husband happily sat there and held your hand while you were attempting to break it while redirecting your pain

Finally, after hours on hours of labour, Shinobu’s encouragement and Kyojuro’s hand turning blue from blood being cut off, you birthed two identical twins. Both had your husband’s flamboyant hair colour and prominent eyebrows. Your husband was trembling and crying after seeing them for the first time. His babies, his kids! And two of them?? In one go?? This couldn’t have gone any better. For around the next hour, while your babies were nursing on you, he kept thanking you for everything you ever did for him.

“I-I love you! I-I love y-you! Th-Thank you for marrying m-me, my fl-flame! Than-Thank you for giving me t-two babies! Thank y-you! T-Thank you!!”

Bonus: Tasty hair

Your babies are for some reason obsessed with your husband’s hair. Maybe it’s because of how bright his hair is or how nice it is to chew on it. You caught Kyojuro offering his baby his hair to hold and play around with, only for it to start pulling tightly on it. It hurts a little and he’s not quite sure how his baby got this strength out of nowhere, but he’s incredibly happy that his baby likes his hair so much!

But he also learned that the twins prefer their grandpa’s hair a little more over his. Shinjuro doesn’t appreciate it as much as Kyojuro is, though. He tolerates them pulling on his hair but doesn’t like it. At all. He’ll glare at his son until he finally takes his baby away from his damn hair! His scalp is already burning!

(But we all know that Shinjuro takes them back into his arms on purpose to tickle their stomachs and to let them pull on his hair as they please. They’re just too cute!)

“My flame, could you help me remove our child? This one seems particularly fascinated by the taste of my shampoo!”

Gyomei Himejima

Food cravings

Gyomei will not always give into your odd cravings. Instead, he’ll try to redirect your cravings to tastier things. He’s worried that you don’t get enough nourishment for the baby and for yourself, so Gyomei’ll try to feed you healthy foods instead of eating the creations you came up with. Why do you even thought about eating pieces of clay you picked up from right next to the waterfall? You’re lucky Genya caught you before you managed to take a bite.

To be completely honest, Gyomei is incredibly worried that you’re eating things you aren’t supposed to eat while he’s not watching/listening.

“Love, what are you chewing?”

His calm and deep voice makes you stop munching on the raw onion and immediately put it back down onto the counter of the kitchen.

Gyomei insists on cooking for you, even if he’s blind. He’s surprisingly good with cooking and always manages to slip vegetables into the meals in the tastiest way possible! You somehow never notice and just are incredibly happy that he takes some time out of his day just to cook meals for you! Sometimes, Genya joins in when you two eat and just chats with you about your husband’s training and his big brother. He’s also very curious about your pregnancy and how you’re coming along. That boy is just as excited about your baby as your husband is! Genya even gifted you one of his best bonsai trees to keep in the nursery!

“Miss Himejima, are you still hungry? You can have my plate if you like, I’m going to meet up with Tanjiro to eat later in the city together anyway.”

Mood swings

Gyomei understands that your hormones are going a little crazy during your pregnancy, but he still gets a little surprised when your mood changes so suddenly. You get emotional mostly over Genya and how hard he’s training to make up with his brother. You cry everytime when you see him train hard under Gyomei. Your husband finds it kind how much empathy you’re feeling for that boy, but the poor boy can’t really concentrate when a crying pregnant lady watching him train. So, your husband suggested you to not watch them train as much anymore and instead do something else. As compensation, Gyomei promises you to tell you everything he and Genya have been doing that day.

Sometimes, when you get angry out of nowhere, Gyomei’ll just let you throw your little tantrum while listening you silently. After you finished, he might suggest exorcising you as a joke to lighten your mood, but his serious tone and unmoving expression made him look like he’s serious. Wich makes you cry.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m not going to exorcise you, I promise, my pearl. I would only do that in the extrem case.”

Sickness

Gyomei knows how to deal with sicknesses and nausea. Once you express feeling sick in any way, he’ll prepare a special herbal tea, open up all the windows for fresh air, feed you crackers and dry food, and of course, equip you with a bowl to vomit into just in case. He’ll sit with you in bed, your head laying on his thighs and his palm resting on your forehead, slowly petting your hair.

He’s mumbling quiet prayers for you and your baby, his deep and smooth voice calming your stomach slowly. Gyomei’d smile softly while having his eyes closed. You told him that his smile is always making you calm, so he’s trying to smile more often for you.

“How are you feeling? I can brew you another cup if you like, it’ll help you.”

Talking to the baby

Gyomei barely talks to the baby while you’re awake. He’ll sometimes lean down and mumble a couple of greetings and kind words before moving on with his day, but when you fall asleep at night, your husband likes to have one-on-one conversation with his child. He’d have his large palm resting on your belly, rubbing it up and down. Gyomei sometimes nuzzles into your sides and places a few kisses on the side before talking.

He’d be praying first, making sure that the baby is alright and’ll come healthy into the world. Then, he’d quietly talk about you. Your husband’ll talk about the things you like to do, about how emotional you get over Genya, how you pout everytime he leaves early in the mornings to train, how much he loves you and how you insisted on get even more toys, even though the toybox is already filled to the brim.

“We are both very excited to meet you… please be more kind to your mother until birth. Her bladder is not as strong during the pregnancy, so do not test it again.”

Birth

Gyomei was praying the whole time he was waiting outside the chambers of where you were currently yelling in pain. His eyes were closed in concentration and his palms rubbing together, his red pearly beads wrapped around his hands. He could hear every mumble of Shinobu to Aoi, every curse you’re throwing around and every bed creak after changing the position. Shinobu suggested that Gyomei should wait outside since he’s quite large and they need more space to move around you. You promised to him that you’ll be fine on your own. He has been crying and praying, crying and praying the whole time for you and the baby, until finally, everything got quiet. Your cries died down, but there wasn’t any signs of a baby crying either. Gyomei was silent, stopping his prayers for a moment.

Until finally, first one baby, then another started to cry out. Two? You were carrying two miracles in your stomach all this time? Shinobu permitted Gyomei back inside and allowed him to meet the babies for the first time. They felt so incredibly tiny in his arms, so so tiny and fragile… The babies are the most precious things, and he felt like the luckiest man in all of history, holding his babies in his arms. His voice was very shaky and more tears than usual were running down his face.

“My love. I thank you for all eternity for giving me this gift… thank you. I am incredibly grateful for everything you have ever done for me.”

Bonus: Who’s who?

Given that Gyomei’s blind, he has always relied on his senses to move through the world. But funnily to you, his senses fail to differentiate wich baby is who. Sometimes you catch your husband holding one of the babies, standing silently there, thinking about who exactly he’s holding right now.

“Need some help, dear?”

Your voice made him turn his head towards you, smiling slightly.

“Yes, I already fed one of our twins. I went to retrieve more milk and lost track of wich one I already fed.”

His voice sounded a little confused but also slightly amused. Stepping closer, you saw how the baby that was laying in the crib was uneasy and wiggling it’s legs around, while the one Gyomei was holding was calm and content. You figured that the squirmy one wasn’t fed yet and took the sleepy baby out of your husband’s arms, setting it back into the crib and taking out the other.

“Here, this one seems hungry, hm? Aren’t you?”

You sweet-talked the baby a little, tickling the little stomach, making it giggle and kick against your husband a little. Gyomei nodded quietly.

“Thank you. I have yet to figure out how to differentiate our twins properly.”

Giyu Tomioka

Food cravings

He’s a little confused out by your requests that keep getting weirder and weirder. Are you sure you want to eat that? If Giyu would eat that, he’d be throwing up. Oh wait, you actually are vomiting up regularly…

Giyu will give you everything you asked for, but hesitantly. Before placing the plate down, he’d eye you up and down, judging you heavily for what he’s about to dish you. His silent judging eyes are enough to second guess your life choices that made you ask your poor husband to cook mashed potatoes mixed in with strawberry yogurt and sakura mochi with fish filling. Perhaps you’ll take the miso soup instead.

Sometimes, he’ll get so worried he approached Shinobu by himself and asked if there’s any medication he can give to you to make you crave less weird things and eat more healthy. Sadly, there is nothing like that, so Giyu’ll eventually resolved to force feed you regular foods instead. He’ll sit you down and feed stir fried veggies, rice, eggs, soup, tea, dessert and whatnot. Anything else but the monstrosity you keep craving.

One time, he caught you mixing chocolate sauce and soup together in the middle of the night. Giyu was just standing in the doorframe, looking utterly defeated and distraught at your actions.

“I love you, but can you stop poisoning our baby? I want it coming out of you alive.”

Mood swings

Giyu feels like he’s the reason you feel upset so suddenly. Perhaps he should’ve cleaned the house more, or finally finish building that crib. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be so angry so randomly. He still is quite surprised how quickly your emotions can change from happy to sobbing about the cuteness of the teddybear Giyu brought home for the baby. It’s confusing.

He’ll try to comfort you the best he can, but your husband already struggled to comfort you when you’re not pregnant and had real reasons to cry about, so how is Giyu supposed to comfort you when you sob over the rice being undercooked?

He’ll just awkwardly pull you into a side-hug, rubbing your shoulders gently.

“Do you want chocolate? I heard people eat chocolate when sad. Or do you just want a hug?”

Sickness

You throwing up and being sick is making Giyu sick. While you throw up into the toilet, your husband would hold your hair back while leaning over the sink, trying not to vomit himself. After your morning sickness passes, he still remains crouched over the sink for a moment longer before preparing a ginger tea for the both of you. He’ll lay in bed for a while, cuddling the blanket while sipping on his tea. He looks like a wet, depressed cat, sipping on his tea with a straw while lying on his stomach like that. He mostly recovers after finishing his tea, but sometimes, he gets really sick. You’ll be forced to take care of your nauseous husband who is supposed to be taking care of you right now! How is he supposed to handle watching you birth your child? How can he slay demons but is not able to watch you throw up?

“Love… can you get me another cup of ginger tea? I’m getting sick again…”

Talking to the baby

Giyu didn’t start talking to your baby until you encouraged him to do so. You told him that talking to the baby creates a bond before it’s even born! So, he’ll slowly start conversations with your belly. He’s not sweet-talking to your stomach, but instead awkwardly holding a conversation with it as if he’s speaking to an adult. Giyu’d sit across you on the bed, his hands propped on his thighs, leaning forward slightly.

“So… how is it like inside the womb? When do you want to come out and meet your mom and dad?”

Birth

Giyu was very panicked when you went into labor. He send out a crow to Shinobu immediately and began assembling something similar to a throne made out of towels and blankets. He forced you to sit down and make yourself comfortable while he waiting on the porch to see when the butterfly hashira is coming. His grip was to tight on the fence of the engawa, he accidentally shattered the wood.

He tried to watch you giving birth, but once he saw the head slowly press out of you, he couldn’t anymore. Giyu held your hand in support and let you squeeze as hard as you want, but he was turned away your lower body, facing you instead. Once he heard the baby’s cries fill the room, he snapped his head around in an instant.

Your husband almost fainted when he saw another baby slowly squeeze out of you. Shinobu handed Giyu the first baby, wich was already wrapped in a towel, so she could direct her attention back to the second baby. His head felt dizzy while holding his baby, not able to comprehend that he’s about to be the father of two. He only build one crib, there’s no room for another. Is he even capable of raising two kids? What if they outnumber and team up on him once they grow up? Now he has twice the chance to fail at parenting and become a bad father!

But once your husband held both babies, all his worries washed away. It was like he was in some sort of trance, watching the babies just sleep and squirm around a little. Giyu didn’t even notice how he started crying until his tears fell onto one of his baby’s forehead and started crying.

“Ahh… uhm. How do you calm a baby down? Do you just rock it? Uhm. Help me, please-“

Bonus: How are you supposed to know what they want?

You watch your husband stress out over why the baby is crying for so many times already, and they’re only two weeks old. You caught him talking to your baby multiple times, just straight up asking what they want. He’s slowly starting to get desperate and you can see it.

“You want food?… No? You wanna be held? Maybe… play? Also no? What do you want then?”

Somehow, only you could understand when and what your babies want. Giyu watches in awe as you immediately figure out that the baby wants to be held and fed, and how quickly they calm down afterwards. You’re just magical, truly.

“How do you know? What do you know that I don’t?”

💠

Phew, this took a while to write! Hope you enjoyed this anon! I tried to incorporate the requested things in this ask from another post of mine, but I might’ve forgotten some. Anyways, my posts haven’t gotten much traction lately, so I hope this one’ll do a little better! I’m looking forward to reading all the reposts and comments you leave, I read every single one of them! Just know that they make me smile like an idiot <3

Anyways, make sure to EAT, SLEEP and DRINK enough!

Take care of yourselves <3

Note: Over 200 Notes!! Tysm!! <33

— I’d like to credit my cat as a co-author and professional purrer.

[lanadelreyscokewhor3]

COMFORT- M. MURDOCK

Pairing: Boyfriend! Matt x Fem! Reader

Word Count: 850

Summary: matt helps comfort you during a panic attack

Warnings: panic attack, anxiety, sensory issues, mentions of getting sick, praise, lots of fluff

Notes: i wrote this while having airport/ airplane anxiety this morning, as i woke up bright n early so i had a lot of time to think. then my flight got cancelled, rebooked, then cancelled again. so im stuck here till tomorrow :) (i want to cry. also airport wifi sucks so bad btw)

He could hear your heartbeat miles away. 

Fast. 

Thrumming so hard it was as if it was a motor engine, constantly revving but instead of speeding off into the night- it sputtered. 

Your breaths were fast. Irregular. Panting raggedly, as if you were a dog.

 Hands clutched to your knees, a steady creaking against the old hardwood as you rocked yourself in a ball on the floor. 

The two of you left for the airport in less than an hour. Matt had taken care of all the flights, him and Foggy triple-checking everything to make sure everything was booked, purchased and on time. Luggage was packed for your little getaway planned in Central America, zipped up tightly waiting by the door. 

But you remained put on the floor, feeling the grooves of your long nails dig into your skin, pinching little crescent moon shapes as your lungs struggled for air. 

“Sweetheart?” he called from the doorway, shaking the rain from his coat off as he hung it up to dry. 

No response. 

Your tongue felt like millions of weights were pulling it down, inflaming it so you were unable to speak. Nothing but dry saliva coated your mouth like a thick paste. 

“What's going on love? Can you explain how you’re feeling?”

 He knew there was no point asking whether or not you were okay when clearly- you weren't. You were having a panic attack, something that you got very often. Changes in your routine tended to set it off, or things like big crowds or loud noises. 

Matt knew your mind was racing with endless possibilities of what could go wrong. You had expressed them to him last week. 

What if we miss our flight? Or there is too many people and I’m trapped? Or I feel sick and have nowhere to go? Matthew what if our flight gets cancelled? Or the gates? There's going to be so many people there, all so stressed and non-self aware. 

Something was wrong when you called him Matthew instead of Matty. That was always the first indicator he picked up on.

 “‘m just anxious.” you whispered softly, voice low and rough as if you had just discovered you could talk for the first time. He softly padded over to a window, opening it just a smidge so fresh air could sneak through the crack, and the sound of the rain pattering against the glass was amplified.

 “Can I touch you sweetheart?” he asked politely, crouching down next to you. 

You nodded. 

Warmth spread through your body as his large arms wrapped around your body, shielding you from the outside world. “Okay. Let's just breathe together okay? Just follow with me.” 

He took a deep inhale through his nose, to which you shakily followed. A deep exhale escaped from your lips as you followed the rise and fall of his chest, breathing in his comforting smell as your fingers made there way to twist and tangle in the fabric of his shirt.

 “Thats it, atta girl. You're doing such a good job!” he praised, letting you cling to him as you slowed down your breathing- expanding your lungs again. 

“We’re going to take this one step at a time okay? It’s going to be okay, I’m never going to leave your side. Security is the scary part. Then we just wait in a quiet part until we get on the plane. And it’s just a two hour flight, and you've done much longer car rides than that.” 

“But what if I’m sick?” you asked timidly. 

“Then we’ll deal with it when it happens. We’ll scout out all the  washrooms and there is one on the plane sweetheart. I’ll hold your hair back I promise.” he joked, making you sniffle as you giggled. 

“Okay.” 

“Okay?” 

“Okay.”

 “Good. Let’s just get some water into you, and we can get your headphones and fuzzy sweater for you to wear. It’s going to be just fine angel.” he kissed the top of your forehead, stroking your cheeks with his thumb, the callouses on the flesh of his fingertips bringing you a sense of comfort. 

You watched through slightly clouded vision as he swiftly went over to pour you some water from the Britta you nagged him to buy, and you heard the pills rattle from the bottle as he dropped a gravol or two in his hand. 

“I’m tired.” you murmured. Your thumbs were bleeding, and you felt the sticky blood smear as you tried to stop it. 

“I know baby. You can sleep soon. I promise.” he assured, coaxing water down to quell your thirstiness as you swallowed the ginger pill.

 “I need my headphones.” you said, attempting to find your balance as you wobbled up to your feet. 

“I have them here sweetheart.” he smiled, grabbing them from the luggage- leaving them out for you just in case. Siding them over your head, the world was slightly muffled and you exhaled. 

It was quiet. It would be quiet. And you could do this. 

“Ready?” he asked. “Ready.”

 “Good, cause we have sunshine and margaritas waiting for us.”

[1-800-call-ria]

ria me and u are like this 🤞another chenle girlie on this app and let me tell u the brain rot for this man is not real like i will never shutup ab him like its 3 am and im thinkinh ab chenle liek he LOVE HAVING U CLOSR 😭😭like alwas has a hand on your thigh when he's driving also does the check the back thing bc he knows yo find it hot also always gives u aux no matter what ATP HE SINGS ALONG TO YOUR SONGS BC OF HOW MUCH HE GIVES U AUX like mark is like : dude can i play music and chenle is like: no yn alr has it 😭😭😭 be fkn fr so whipped also always stops for Starbucks no matter what he has ur order memorized down to the last detail😭💐❤️‍🩹 you have a space in his car w like hairties ur fav lipgloss a blanket makeup remover perfume one of his hoodies and ur fav snack I LOVE CHENLE I COULD TALK AB SO MANY FKN CHENLES IF U LET ME YOU WILL HEAR (more like read but any gays) EVERY SINGLE CHENLE THOUGHT I HAVE also pls lets be moots u seem so nice and cool🙏🙏

BF!Chenle thought #2

Hey Auri! You so get me 😞 the Chenle brainrot is beyond me, it’s like he reaches through my phone and grips onto my brain like his life depends on it. Literally past the point of delulu. AND THESE THOUGHTS?? Chefs kiss

warning: me being past delulu, fluff

You being the passenger princess without ever needing to ask. That’s it, that’s the post…

He’s literally cleared out his glove compartment just to have your stuff in there (he just stuffs everything in the middle console). You’re extra pads/tampons, hair ties, makeup, snacks are almost always in there. It has a decal that says ‘My Baby’ in tiny bold letters. The trunk is pretty much the same with one of your bags that’s filled with ‘Y/N essentials’ including but not limited to one of your (his) jackets, more snacks of yours and even an extra pair of clothes.

No matter who is in the car, you will always have the passenger seat. Chenle has literally kicked out every single member whenever they tried to sit in your seat.

“Jisung, nu-uh”

“Mark Lee. In the back.”

“Move Haechan.”

“Puppy boy…bad dog.” (he hasn’t said this but sooner or later he’s going to)

One time you jokingly said he should put a colorful/shiny decal of your name on your side like he did with the glove compartment. The next time you were in the car, you notice right on the step to get into the car in glittery pink is ‘Princess Y/N’. (He’s absolutely crazy for you)

As for having aux? One time you asked and he’s given it to you ever since. The members now realize he becomes a different man whenever you’re around especially in Chenle’s car. Mark asked once to get aux and he’s never been side-eyed so hard. Man literally hung his head in shame, that’s how mad that side-eye was. It doesn’t matter what music you listen to, he just lets you have it.

I’ve said before and I’ll say again.

CHENLE IS A PHYSICAL TOUCH AND WORDS OF AFFIRMATION GIRLY 🗣️🗣️

and in the car he would love having one hand on the wheel, and one on your thigh. (he makes me feral if you haven’t noticed) Multiple times you’ve told him to keep two hands on the wheel, it just makes him want to do it even more.

“Zhong Chenle, hands on the wheel”

“Y/N, no thank you baby”

The Starbucks order?? Nah every single place y’all have ever been, he’s memorized what you’ve gotten (more like written it down in his notes app BUT STILL). He doesn’t even need to turn to you and ask anymore, he already knows what you want. Unless you turn to him and say “I’m gonna order” he’s going to order for you because that’s just how he is. And if they get your order wrong?? The man is waving down the waiter/waitress telling them what they got wrong in your order. It could’ve been you said like extra onions or something and one look at your face and food he already knows. It’s embarrassing yes, but you get free food sometimes, it’s def a win-win.

It general he’s such boyfie material it makes me anxious and sick. I need someone like him frfr

[heeseungsbm]

I just got cheated on...idk what to do

omg bebeee🥹 if it makes you feel any better, i used to get walked like a dog and treated like a $2 hoe on the highway </3 but only because i chose to stay and settle for that! once you realize you are the prize and deserve to be valued like one, leaving as soon as somebody does something you don't like is a piece of cake. im about to yap just in case you need some words . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ .

ik its so hard, and sometimes it does take going back bc it feels like that person is the only one in the world for you. but that's simply not true🥹and i don't recommend trying again bc they will have a field day with you after seeing what they can get away with !!

there is someone else out there who the thought of hurting you will never cross their mind, and they'll always do everything in their power to prevent doing that. that's how it's supposed to be anyways, love is vowed through sickness and in health, not through cheating and infidelity!

what you tolerate is also a reflection of how you view yourself, so i hope you see yourself as worth so much more than this. don't imprison yourself for a crime you didn't commit my sweet anonnie, don't go back to the very thing that hurt you! anyone can get cheated on, shit BEYONCE gets cheated on😭you can have it all and be everything they've ever wanted, but if it's in their heart they will do it no matter what :/

there's always something good to take out of the bad though, you know? for me, it simply showed me what i don't want in someone. cheating is a choice that depicts someones character, something within themselves that they're fully responsible for. it has nothing to do with who you are as a person. there's nothing wrong with you and i truly hope you know that. don't let them ruin the image of love that you deserve ♡

you will get through this boobear, i did 70 million times. and i came out way smarter and stronger so that was nice :) i believe in you! just put trust in time. the best revenge is being happy and taking care of yourself!

you can msg me personally if ur comfortable, judgement free zone🫂

[ellecdc]

okay no pressure in answering this at all if you’re not comfortable but i’ve been having many Thoughts lately and i wanted to share them with somebody but nobody ik will listen and you’re my favorite blog

i’m on summer break from college right now which means i don’t have a constant stream of Things To Do, so i have a lot of free time, which i usually spending thinking about the marauders (guilty)

but since i’ve been home (abt 3 weeks) ive been getting super overwhelmed in the fandom, not bc of anybody but because i have so much Love for content. like i love the fandom so much and i love fics and fanart and edits and stuff like that, and i don’t think i have a limit

i feel like i spend too much time engaging in the community, or even just thinking about characters (primarily the Noble House of Black lol) and i don’t get me wrong, i love it so much, but almost to a point where it’s overwhelming and i get emotional randomly and sometimes i feel like that’s not normal?

like i feel like i might be genuinely addicted - i haven’t gone a day without opening ao3/tumblr/tiktok to see fandom content in a very long time and as much as i love to embrace that fact, i can’t figure out why that scares me so much

i hope this makes sense. i just needed to tell somebody because im starting to feel like something is wrong with me lol

like i said, no need to respond if you don’t feel comfortable. i just wanted to put it into words

I don’t think there’s anything “wrong” with liking something ‘so’ much and being so invested in something as long as it’s not taking away/affecting the rest of your life?

If you’re still able to take care of yourself physically (showering, eating, sleeping, cleaning), and if you’re still able to enjoy your personal and social life (going to work/school etc, hanging with friends, engaging with family members), and it’s not hurting anyone (yourself or loved ones), then what’s the harm?

I literally cannot think about canon at all, I was telling my mutual this the other day - they’d asked me what my other mutuals told me about ATYD because they were thinking of reading it and I told them and literally felt sick to my stomach thinking about it afterwards 😅 like no, perhaps that’s not ‘normal’ but that’s also why I’m in fanfiction? I can’t watch TV shows or movies because I get too emotional and too invested that I can’t handle anything angsty or sad. So I spend time in fanfiction to kind of “fix” it for me, and it makes me happy!

When I was in my first degree probably ~19, I was going through a hard time and would go for walks with my dog like 3 times a day for almost 45mins-1.5 hours each time (so walking almost 3 hours out of the day) just so I could escape my present reality and live in my little daydreams I created for myself. I became so reclusive and was over exerting myself, under eating, not socializing and started getting emotional because I preferred my daydreams to my current reality

Sometimes that’s life saving for people so I am an advocate for people doing what they need to do to get by - BUT - for me, that’s when it became unhealthy

So no, i don’t think liking/loving fanfic “too much” is abnormal (maybe it is but then we’re all freaks here) and i don’t think it’s unhealthy unless you’re unable to care for yourself otherwise

[shitouttabuck]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @thewolvesof1998 thank u bud i’m procrastinating packing and this was fun

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

seven!

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

129,484 which is a fake number to me

3. what fandoms do you write for?

nothing has made me as insane in my life as network television procedural drama 911 on abc, so

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

you can start a family who will always show you love

let the world have its way with you

my hearts over-pumping and your mouth is an ambulance

like a dog with a bird at your door

i like the summer rain (i like the sounds you make)

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

i try very hard to because they make me so happy and it’s unbelievably kind of people to take the time to leave them!!! However i sometimes leave it too long and then worry it’s weird to reply after like. a month. which as a fic reader i wouldn’t give a shit about so idk what my problem is!!!! i will reply i will just maybe take a hot sec to do it

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i don’t have any i’m a happily ever after or bust kinda guy in my own head if nowhere else…… angstiest is probably the sound of love astounds me if only because it ends post-feelings realisation but still pre-relationship

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

they’re all so happy omg. i will say with great personal bias it’s my heart’s over-pumping but also i have. a sequel in the works….

8. do you get hate on fics?

no people have been very very very lovely but also sjjsjsjs i’ve not been here super long. the funniest comment i’ve gotten was on my first fic where someone was like i liked this but it is jarringly inaccurate as mcdonald’s in california doesn’t have a veggie burger option 😭 i cried laughing im so sorry to u americans. pls petition your local mcdonald’s to stock the mcplant it slaps

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

have written two e-rated fics….. it’s very fun but i don’t think i’m very good so i’d like to practice actually (maybe some sexy prompts after i finish the bed-sharing ones?) just the regular kind for now like i love buck and eddie desperately and am myself into a million things but i don’t know how kinky they would actually get in my own head. so just a little gross with it for now i guess

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

nope!

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

no that would be SICK. @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove is podficcing bucket list fic which is so very cool of her!

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

no omg i don’t know how y’all do it i’m bad at group projects but also this sounds soooooo fun. if also deeply stressful

14. what’s your all time favorite ship?

if that’s synonymous with most likely to get you institutionalised, uh. gestures around us. otherwise mulder/scully and i am just now right as i’m typing this realising i’ve never ever in my life actually read x files fic what the fuck. also steve/bucky but i haven’t read fic since 2017 probably

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

listen i have not written a word for x files au past that one snip i shared forever ago. i want to soooo bad i’ve talked about it to some of you very rabidly but. it does not want to be written and if it did it would have to be so fucking long which is very daunting to me. not saying i’ve put her in the ground yet but. we might need some necromancing

16. what are your writing strengths?

i think i’m pretty good at writing in character? mostly? sometimes i struggle with buck just because i think we’re very similar and i project a little and then have to go back and fix it lmao but for the most part i think i’m good at that! and i have a lot of fun writing dialogue

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

plot!!!!!! and pacing!!!!!!!!!!! also my inability to write non-linearly omg if i get stuck i just get Stuck i can’t jump ahead

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

oooh i love it and would love to include more than the teeniest bits i have but i’m so conscious about it sounding natural and not stiff to people whose language it actually is (shout out and a million kisses to @eddiebabygirldiaz for fixing the spanish in i love you like a dog!!!!!)

19. first fandom you wrote for?

911 babey!

20. favorite fic you’ve written?

my heart’s over-pumping and your mouth is an ambulance !!! not just because it was the first fic i posted after joining tumblr fandom but. idk it is so so so special to me like it makes me so happy and when i think about it i’m like. hey u wrote that. good for u my dude. and also maybe i just associate it with meeting a bunch of you whjsjssjsj

tagging @callaplums @eddiebabygirldiaz @housewifebuck @rewritetheending @try-set-me-on-fire @onward--upward @anxieteandbiscuits @devirnis @athenagranted if anyone wants to do this i’m nosy soz if you already have !!!!

[bittercarrion]

"-And I'm fucking sick of it!" You shout as you push me down the stairs, "Maybe some time with your brother will help you behave." You say with a groan, slamming shut the door. I gulp as I start to creep across the room. Something moves.

Something big.

"B...My brother?" I call. I see large eyes crack open, reflecting from the small light source nightlight. I gasp as he suddenly rushes forward, seemingly more dog than ..man. Sharp claws make effortless work of my cloathing despite my protests. You say something about my true hide and embracing my true skin. Im..confused but not scared. Dad would never hurt our family.

He brings me to his bed and laughs, "Small , frail boy. You are hardly a man." He sneers, "I can make you one."

Before I have time to ask hes standing me up, kicking my legs apart, and shouting at me to "Fucking flex goddamn it!"

"I AM!" I shout as tears flood my face, red creeping into my skin. You laugh so hard and deep it rumbles the house. "Youre a pathetic excuse for a man. Nothing more than a child trying to impress his family with useless shit like what? Cooking and cleaning? What are you? A fucking housewise huh? You want me to put you in pretty fuckin frilly dresses and call you a girl? Because you act like a Fucking. Girl!" You kick my knees in with each word. I fall to the ground in a sobbing heap.

"You'll take work...." My brother begins to circle me, sizing up what he could make of me. "But youll make it through. Youll be a man, I'll mold you into a man you'll be proud of."

[snzinthewild]

MY FIRST SNZFIC

I've been wanting to write for awhile because I have alot of ideas, its just getting it into words is hard. Anyways

OCs

Jax (he,him) blonde short hair and blue eyes, medium build with muscles

Leo (they,them) pale skin, brown shaggy hair, green eyes, smaller build

Warning ⚠️ contagion, mess

Jax is awoken to a sound he is all too familiar with. The sound of a rather messy sneeze coming from beside him. His boyfriend of 2 years Leo is sitting up with a tissue pressed against their face. "Ahhh ACHHOOOOOuish" followed by a nose blow in a tissue they throw into a pile they are forming on the floor next to the bed. Jax is still groggy from just waking up and rolls over to face Leo. Jax reaches over to rub their back. Leo is now aware that their sneeze has woken up their partner. "I'mb s-sorry baby, I didbn't *sniffle*want to wake you. It just came out of nowhere," Leo says as their nose begins to twitch again. "Hey, what did i say about apologizing over silly things like sneezing?" Jax smiles and puts his arm around Leo and pulls them close to him. Leo is now trapped in Jax's embrace. " Ah, heeyyy N-not fair ah ah," Leo's voice hitches. "What, I just love you so much, I'm never letting you go," Jax says, holding Leo and watching their head tilt back as their about to sneeze all over him. "Ahhh, hhh, ACHOOOOO ACHHHHOOOOO ACHHHHHOOOOOACHOOOOO achhhuuuuish" Leo pitches forward into Jax's chest snnezes several times into jax tshirt There's snot dripping from leo's nose onto Jax's shirt. "Wow, bless you baby...okay lets get you cleaned up." Jax grabs a tissue and wipes off leo's snotty nose. Then, he wipes off his shirt. "Imb sorry, i made such a mess *sniffles thickly*, im disgusting." tears form in leos' eyes, and they back off of Jax. "Your not disgusting, its natrual part of life, and your beautiful always plus i dont care if you threw up on me i will always love you"Jax wipes away a tear rolling down Leos cheek. "okay well if you ever do that to me, im breaking up with you." Leo smiles, and Jax acts affended but laughs. "Im kidding partly, i love you too." Leo kisses Jax, and they kiss for a few moments before Leo breaks it with a cough. "Are you sick or something?" Jax feels Leos forhead. "No no its just allergies. Nothing to worry about" Leo removes Jaxs hand and tries to get out of bed but jax grabs their hand to pull them back down "Thats not going to work this time because your burning up" Leo looks shocked but then drops the act and crawls under the covers because their head was killing them. "Can you grab the Tylenol and ah ACHOOOOO *leo sneezes into a tissue* and a glass of water for me?" leo asks Jax with puppy dog eyes."Bless you," Jax smirks, ee's just happy he was right for once. When he comes back with the medicine and water. Leo has the tv on and is watching their comfort show. "Now i really know you dont feel well." Jax hands leo the glass of water and then 3 pills. "I need to eat with my morning pill." Leo shallows the pills and sets the water down on the nightstand. "Tada!" Jax pulls out a pop tart, and leo smiles, grabs it, and opens it. Jax walks around to get into bed next to leo. "This is not what you should be eating." Jax pulls off a piece and eats it. Leo looks at him and pouts. Jax pouts back at leo, which makes them smile. Jax puts his hand on Leo face and rubs their cheek, Leo leans into Jaxs hand. "Baby, I know you dont like to talk about sickness but if i list some cold symptoms can you nod your head yes or no" Leo tenses up a little but nods yes, so Jax begins. "Okay thank you it will be quick i promise, sore throat *leo nods*, head ache *leo nods*, chills *leo shrugs*, okay *jax giggles* and we already know your a sneezy mess" Which reminds Leo that their nose is dripping and grabs a tissue to blow thier nose. Jax gets up and walks to the bathroom to grab the therometer to check Leos temperature. When he gets back, the boy is having a coughing fit. Jax puts the therometer on his nightstand and crawls into bed, begins to rub their back. "It will be okay baby, make sure to take some breaths." Jax is concerned for Leo. As Leo stopped coughing, they turned and threw themselves into Jax, who fell back. Jax held leo for a bit until leo fell asleep. They need rest.

[hella1975]

hella would you like to tell the class (me) about your touya playlist

i dont WANT to im GOING TO bc i literally am acting posessed rn and have no say in the matter anymore. fuck my stupid baka life. anyway id like to preface this by saying to anyone who actually knows anything about mha that some of what i say might be fanon hcs and not canon, and that's bc ive absorbed mha content in possibly the most insane way possible and at this point even i dont know what's canon and what's from the hundreds of thousands of words of fanfiction ive read in a short amount of time. like i am in free fall rn i have bigger problems to be quite honest

touya's playlist song-by-song!

so off the bat, this playlist is much more somber and angsty than you might expect of dabi and that's bc i already have a playlist specifically for his identity as dabi, and that leans way more into songs that have his VIBES and/or i feel like he'd listen to. this one however is just pure devastation bc alas he is fucked in the head.

the archer - COMBAT HE IS LITERALLY READY FOR COMBAT! his whole personality the reason he was PUT ON THIS EARTH was to fight and be a hero he was never supposed to be a child he was never supposed to be HUMAN he was always always defined by his ability to fight his skill as a firewielder his need to surpass all might. i say i dont want that but what if i do? he just wants his dad to love him, to acknowledge him, and if this is what it takes then by god he'll do it until it literally kills him BUT ALL OF MY HEROES DIED ALL ALONE! HIS DAD IS THE NO.2 HERO AND HE'S THE FIRST PERSON TOUYA NEEDED SAVING FROM! THEY SEE RIGHT THROUGH ME THEY SEE RIGHT THROUGH ME CAN YOU SEE RIGHT THROUGH ME? HE'S NOT THE FIGHTER HE SAYS HE IS HE'S JUST A CHILD. and then the most sickening bit: all the kings horses and all the king's men couldn't put me back together again. his body literally falls apart on him and the childish reference to humpty dumpty is just the reminder that he was only thir-fucking-teen when that happened. who could ever leave me. who could stay

the view between villages - this song is obvs 'being in your home and feeling it all coming back at once' and for noah kahan that's specifically the drive 'between villages' but for touya this song really makes me think of sekoto peak and just the todoroki residence as a whole. it's this beautiful lush forested area and it's where touya todoroki dies. he asks for his dad to come and see a technique that he's learned, something that's finally his, something shouto can't do, and enji isn't there and it kills touya. his quirk malfunctions and he burns himself alive and takes this beautiful landscape with him and enji isn't there. a minute from home but i feel so far from it. the death of my dog the stretch of my skin it's all washing over me im angry again. the things that i lost here the people i knew! they got me surrounded for a mile or two! losing my mind!

strangers - what started it all. he is yet another 'i tried to be good am i no good?' character and im not okay about it at all in the slightest. please, i just wanted to be good enough. i tried to be good and it set me alight. i just wanted to be yours. and then touya dies and they FORGET ABOUT HIM there's no public backlash there's no inquiry there's hardly even a funeral shouto doesn't remember him natsuo and fuyumi are hardly allowed to mention him the world consciously actively and purposely buries touya todoroki his memory restricted to a polaroid in evidence and then he returns. he returns ugly and scarred and barely held together. am i making you feel sick. and through it all, his mother is in a mental hospital, watching him on the news, crying and waiting up for him. dont think about it too hard or you'll never sleep a wink at night again.

ptolemaea - this song captures 'the breaking point' perfectly and that's just very touya especially for sekoto peak. promising a fire any fire im on fire im on fire im on fire what have you done stop stop make it stop ive had enough stop stop stop stop STOP I AM THE FACE OF LOVE'S RAGE. and so dabi was born in fire and anguish and agony. also if u take the doctor and all for one angle with this song about how they wanted touya as a second shigaraki and they took him from sekoto peak then the whole 'you poor thing you sweet mourning lamb there's nothing you can do it's already been done' is v much giving that angle of them taking advantage. blessed be the children each and every one come to know their god through some senseless act of violence.

be an astronaut - i talked about this song the other day bc the lyrics are kinda inexplicable but it fucking GUTS me and i could not tell you why. like the desperation of the vocals is just ughhhh give me a song that sounds borderline hysterical and ill eat it up regardless of what it's about. replace 'astronaut' with any specific character's motivation and you've got a prewrapped blorbo song right there. touya you were born to be your father's destiny and you'll do that or die trying. but there's an overarching air that it's a pity, it's a waste, it's hopeless. the song is almost MOCKING. all touya wants is revenge on endeavor, and yes it's blind and hateful and consumes him, but still is it really so much to ask? but he doesn't even get that much. the way the manga is going, touya will die and endeavor will be redeemed. nothing dabi did ever mattered. touya todoroki never mattered. it was always as ridiculous as a child saying they want to be an astronaut

waiting room - he got away from the abuse he opened his eyes and took down his father from the pedestal he put him on he acknowledged that his dad wasn't the hero anyone thought he was he already admitted the scary thing; that endeavor is not and never was good and everything he fed touya was wrong. it's for the better that he knows these things. it is. it's for the better. he's glad to be away from home. he is he is he is. it's for the better i know it's for the better i know it's for the better

christmas kids - YOU'LL CHANGE YOUR NAME AND CHANGE YOUR MIND AND LEAVE THIS FUCKED UP PLACE BEHIND BUT I'LL KNOW!!!!!!! 'dabi' and 'touya' are such wildly different people because dabi genuinely believes that touya todoroki is dead. he died at thirteen at sekoto peak and dabi was born. they aren't the same. touya was the weak, abused child who just wanted to be good. dabi is the villain ready to spill blood in his name. but at the end of the day, dabi is touya and touya is dabi. he can pick another name, go wherever he likes, join the league of villains if he wants, but that will always, always be true

i bet on losing dogs - this is just perpetually playing when i think about him. he's doomed to fail. he's not going to make it. i already know he isn't but oh god he deserved better

a burning hill - okay i was feeling funny like yes 'im tired of wanting more' 'im a forest fire and i am the fire and i am the forest and i am the witness watching it' is v touya coded and the general exhaustion of this song is horrific on its own let alone applied to a character that has been through so goddamn much, but also... it's literally a burning hill.... sekoto peak was a burning hill.... ha.... haha

mary on a cross - so glad u specificaly sent this ask bc the tbosutuals are SO insane about this song. like yes like all ghost songs it's technically just about horny sin but i will always, always associate this song with character death. specifically (and this is why it upsets me so much) this is one of the few character death songs of mine that isn't objectively sad, and that's because it reminds me of their LIFE. like it feels like a flashback in the moment of death of all the beautiful things, and it was beautiful it was brilliant, but they die anyway. they dont get to make it despite despite despite. and THAT'S why this song will always fuck with me. so yeah. touya. admittedly he's not on darya's level yet bc this will always be her song but for me to even touch this song with another character speaks volumes

cigarette daydreams - the ultimate 'you were too young to experience what you did' anthem. the vibes of this song are so dismal it sounds like what rain feels like. you were only seventeen. touya was 13/14 when he died and he woke up from his coma as dabi when he was 16/17 (pretty sure it was 16 but 17 works better with this song so shhhh). and then he's just. unaccounted for until he's 24. he's nothing and no one on the streets of japan and in the criminal underworld and he's just a fucking kid. a scared, traumatised, in constant pain kid.

hearing damage - hiiii it's me and this song again <3 similar to cigarette daydreams im going crazy about vibes again. like this song is so unsettling it's like static it FEELS like a dissociation and that's a really common coping mechanism for someone who's experienced high levels of trauma/constant stress to just pull the shutters down and tap out of the bad thing happening. like ive said before even if it isnt confirmed or denied yet that i know of i do firmly believe that dabi's just been on the streets since he was a teenager and i just think this really fits.

class of 2013 - rei never saved him. that child still screaming for their mother to help them never ever goes away. he's this big scary villain now, covered in scars and piercings, but every single day he has to fight and keep up a mask and watch for threats. do you think he thinks about her then? him, tired and so so hurt, and her fading away in a hospital because, just like him, she broke under the weight of enji's ambition? they're the two family fuck-ups, the two that couldn't take it, do you think he misses her? just once, could she wash the dye out of his hair and save him?

go home - KILLING MYSELF. this song is fine whatever im not talking about it any more than i did in that post but i will say this is very burn it all down by dorothycanfly dabi specifically bc that fic has been haunting me since i finished it crying my eyes out at 4am this morning god bless <3

georgia - kind of a dabihawks angle bc im a sucker for them but also just in general 'if i fix you will you hate me' dabi NEEDS this hatred of endeavor. he quite literally has nothing else down to his SKIN. he's made his entire life's purpose and quite clearly intends to go out in a blaze of glory WITH his dad. that's it. that's the endgame. kill endeavor. kill himself with him. how fucking sad is that. like it's PATHETIC in the worst way. he's clawing at this fucking revenge plan and pretending it's this grand, badass thing as if it's not just the small hands of touya reaching up from the grave for his father one last time. if i fix you will you hate me, because if someone took this from him, if someone gave him a will to live outside of this fury, if someone fixed him, then all of this would have been for nothing.

maggot - this is a more deranged 'i tried to be good' variation imo like i did everything right i made my bed i walked for hours i took my pills and you love me right? you need me? but what if im just a corpse and you're a maggot feeding? what then? is it still love? is it something more? or is it disgusting? he was only ever wanted for his fire. no one actually cared about touya.

everything i wanted - NO ONE CRIED NOBODY EVEN NOTICED I SAW THEM STANDING RIGHT THERE KINDA THOUGHT THEY MIGHT CARE. THEY FORGOT ABOUT HIM. THEY BURIED HIM. ON PURPOSE THEY BURIED HIM BECAUSE HIS MEMORY AND HOW FUNDAMENTALLY THEY FAILED HIM MADE THEM UNCOMFORTABLE. IT WAS LIKE HE NEVER EVEN EXISTED. YOU DONT EVEN REALISE SHOUTO HAS ANOTHER BROTHER UNTIL NATSUO BRINGS IT UP FIVE FUCKING SEASONS IN.

the family jewels - i dont htink i need to elaborate on this one lmao. obligatory complicated family dynamics anthem

seventeen - like cigarette daydreams i know he wasn't specifically seventeen and im not purposely picking songs that focus on that lmao. i love this song so much like the vocals of 'you don't know fuck about my family, could never tell you what happened the day i turned SEVENTEENNNN' scratches SUCH an itch in my brain im obsessed with it. like there's a mystery to it bc she never elaborates on what actually happened but clearly it's something bad. i really like that side of it like i love the mystery and for so long in the anime dabi is a HUGE mystery like there's no backstory reveal until SEASON SIX that's INSANE for such a main character to not get even a HINT of backstory for so long.

father - I HAVE THIS DREAM THAT I AM HITTING MY DAD WITH A BASEBALL BAT AND HE IS SCREAMING AND CRYING FOR HELP AND MAYBE HALFWAY THROUGH IT HAS MORE TO DO WITH ME KILLING HIM THAN IT EVER DID PROTECTING MYSELF! literally one of the most insane lyrics of any song ever im being deadly serious there is so much to unpack there so much to consider so much packed into one line. it has more to do with me killing him than it ever did protecting myself. WHAT

body terror song - body horror dabi hours! this man is 70% fourth degree burns that are only still attached to his healthy skin by fucking medical staples. i dont even want to consider how much chronic pain he has. every fic that has him having to redo/adjust a staple feeds me bc im so compelled by his character design. how is he not high off his shit every day just to cope. it's heavily implied he doesn't even have TEAR DUCTS anymore so when he cries it's just blood. he loses his fucking personhood to the flames so much that he renames himself cremation because that's what he is now and the anime just... never addresses it. never says if it hurts or not. this ALONE would be my cause for killing endeavor for leaving him in this state let alone the million other layers to it i cannot BELIEVE some people say it's unjustified sorry im not gonna go off on a tangent but ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING

dirty night clowns - i adore this song i couldnt tell you wtf it's about but it makes me feel uncomfortable in my own skin and i thought that was fitting for dabi. i really dont have much else to say like i do think this might just be one of those 'i have a personal interpretation of this song based solely on vibes' and it makes no sense to anyone else LOL

just take my wallet - YOUR MOMMA'S CRYING! YOUR MOMMA'S CRYING FOR YOU! WHAT'S THE SOFTEST WAY TO SAY YOU TOOK AWAY MY FRIEND? i feel like this is another 'touya into dabi' song like rei is crying for her son but touya is dead. there's only dabi now. dabi killed touya to become something that could ruin endeavor, and that's all that matters now

[breserker]

The Rest of IWRY p.2 - Ch.21, 22 outline

So from here on out things are more and more unfinished. Chapter 21 didn't get too far into being written, so I'll post what I have and then finish it with stuff from my notes file -- which does not extend as far as I thought it did. I"ll share what I have including tidbits relating to things I no longer know where to place. After this I'll have to piece it together by memory and explain things a little more laboriously so idk when the next update will be. That's where, I think, more of my commentary will butt in.

So, this chapter winds up dealing with a lot of child abuse and racism in direct. There's your warning, let's go.

Chapter 21: Devil in the Church

I sputtered on the dirt of the forest floor, rolling weakly. Before I could reform my thoughts and pull myself together, Vivi threw her whole body weight around my head, wrapping me in a protective but ultimately detrimental hold. I heard her shouting with all the rage a six-year-old could muster. Then I felt hands roughly grabbing my arms and forcing me to my feet. Vivi toppled away as I struggled to put my tangled marionette legs beneath me. The hands pulled, making me stumble forward. Vivi grasped on to my limp hand and refused to let go.

Awake in name but not definition, I let myself be half-dragged through a blur of forest that no longer looked nor felt familiar to me. Everything spun and my head pounded. The only thing that broke through the dizziness was a creepy-crawly feeling traveling down the edge of my forehead. It wasn't actually cold, whatever was crawling down my head, but it felt like it was. I tried to mumble something, a question, maybe, but the words barely formed in my head much less on my tongue.

We were still on school grounds, that much I gathered since we passed out of the woods to an iron-like gate. Vehicle entrance; the parking lot. Car. Door. Get in. I collapsed, clutching the seat with my ass and legs hanging out of the car. Vivi made a worried hum as she tried to strong-arm the rest of me in. There was a gasp of terror as the hands grabbed my legs and shoved me inside without care. Vivi's small form clambered in after me, and as I heard doors slam, open, slam, car start, she tucked herself under my arm like a worried cat, curled and wide-eyed. I blinked, forcing my eyes to focus.

[pic – laying on a back carseat with a kidnapped girl—oh Im kidnapped too I guess]

He sat in the driver's seat, shifting gears to pull out and get on the road.

He drove.

I gargled, curling my arms in a cockroach-like manner to brush my fingers against my hairline. Vivi continued to hum at a singular, uneased tone, until the barking voice of my father told her to shut up. She did instantaneously. My fingers jabbed the skin at my hairline in shock, an involuntary response to his voice. I tried to stifle my groan as my thumb slipped on something that shouldn't have been there.

[pic – blood]

Vivi squirmed. I put my clean hand over her mouth before she got the idea to make any noises. For the love of god I wish I could move so I could catch a glimpse of her face; meet her eyes to let her know that I was at the very least going to protect her no matter what. The fact that I couldn't guarantee her safety no matter how much I meant to started to make me sick—paired with the inevitable concussion, it was not a good feeling.

Neither of us had any seat belts on. Every time my dad stepped a little too hard on the brakes I felt us roll forward, almost off the edge of the seat. Scooting the two of us back did little to help, so I simply wrapped my arm tighter around Vivi. If I could've sat up I would've, but there was more than just the head wound keeping me low to the ground like a dog. Alternating between shutting my eyes to relieve stimulation and opening them to glean any motivation from my father in the driver's seat, I let building after building pass us by. There was no way to know where we were without sitting up, but we were still relatively close to Kadic.

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I slammed my hand over it with a hiss. I glanced up, seeing a tendon stand out on the side of my father's neck. Stuffing my hand into my pocket, I quickly unlocked and put the damn thing on complete silence. Part of my brain panicked and wanted me to shut the whole thing off. I almost did, glancing at the screen to at least get the time.

Aelita had texted me. I stared at her name on the screen. The preview showed that there was something strange going on with Lyoko. Nervously glancing at my dad, I contemplated my position.

An idea was brewing.

Easing my way, I shifted, turning so my back would face the front of the car. Vivi looked at me, panicked and perplexed. I gave her a look that said that I knew what I was doing and I needed her to stay where she was. Dutiful, she did, though not without placing her hands on my shoulder for support as she kept her gaze stone-still ahead. Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I raised it until it was behind Vivi's sitting form, as hidden as it possibly could be before I unlocked the screen.

Hey, something's weird on Lyoko. Not an activated tower. Localized activity. We might check it out.

I glanced back at my father, catching his eyes in the rear-view mirror. Distress seized my heart and I broke away, knowing that it was very likely he was just checking the road instead of me. But at any rate, I doubted this was XANA's doing. I doubted this was anyone's doing, except him. Careful and slow, I typed out my message letter by letter, feverishly glancing back when I could without trying to make it seem suspicious. As a result I broke my message up into simpleton words over far too many different texts.

Help. Me n Viv.

Glance over the shoulder, tried to stretch arms to make it look like I was trying to relax.

Try factory.

A pause. Couldn't afford another glance back, so I simply waited until I was brave enough to text again.

Dunno if work.

I turned the screen off. There was no way I was willing to glue myself to the anxiety of waiting for her to respond. I could contact the police. I should contact the police. But I realized then I had no idea of the make or model of the car, no license plate—just that the interior was beige. No recollection of anything. I pulled my arm backwards, gently bumping my elbow to the small of Vivi's back. She tensed at the touch, far too alert. I rolled my head back, staring at the stiff profile of her face before looking back to the driver's seat.

“Hey,” I broke the silence. Vivi stiffened further, but my dad didn't respond, “Hey, where are you going?”

This was a calculated risk, but calculations could still lead to disaster. I unfurled my arm and wrapped it around Vivi's waist for reassurance and protection, “Hey, why'd you take us?”

“You insult my hard work by skipping classes again, you dare raise your hands against me, and you spend all your free-time with that little brat instead of studying or focusing on your future. If you couldn't understand four years ago, you better understand now.”

I swallowed the rock in my throat, looking at Vivi. Somehow there was courage there, despite everything, mostly for her sake. If there was fear, it wasn't a detriment to me.

“Well,” my voice cracked, “Just uh. Just stay away from haunted places. Y'know, abandoned stuff.”

My father's brow furrowed in confusion, which in his language meant anger. I kept my gaze focused on Vivi, heart pounding, finding the will to keep speaking.

“She's just, scared of them, y'know?” God I hoped I sounded convincing, because the way I was speaking did not sound like me, “I took her to this factory one time, and she hated it. Can't stand it, y'know? So uh. Just. Steer clear, huh?”

He slammed on the brakes. Were it not for the fact that I had embraced Vivi again, she would've gone flying and slammed her head on the divider between the seats up front. I noticed his knuckles were white, but they soon mellowed out to their normal color. It meant he was thinking, and thinking was what I wanted him to do. The turn signal clicked on, and he followed it. I settled back in, banking on him doing what I wanted him to do. Unlocking my phone, I saw that Aelita had responded, but I had no time to have a conversation. I double-checked my contacts.

Then I sent her my father's phone number with instructions: Call this when I say.

Setting up the signal but not sending it over, I slipped my phone back into my pocket. As he drove, more buildings passing by, I mimed the motions with my thumb to send the text while keeping my hand inconspicuously in my pocket. Letting my lids fall halfway down my eyes, I squeezed Vivi tight. She squeezed my arm back. It became a trade off. Every other minute, whenever one of us got anxious, one would squeeze and the other would respond.

A larger and darker than usual building passed by, and I turned my head, eyes alert. The building was industrial. Straining myself and causing my head to pound again, I pulled my elbows beneath me and peeked out at street level.

There.

A familiar river with concrete embankments.

He fell for it.

“H-Hey,” I stammered, nearly forgetting to keep up the act, “What're you doing, I said she was scare—,”

Another slam on the brakes, and I clutched Vivi as half my body tumbled off the edge of the seats. He put the car in park. Frantically slipping my hand in my pocket, I went through the motions to send Aelita the signal as fast as I could. Whether it sent or not I had no time to look because he got out of the car and opened the door at my head. All I could do was hope.

[pic – get out of the car]

I pulled Vivi close to my legs, dimly aware that if I didn't focus all my power into standing that I would unfairly lean on her for support. There was no choice but to will the pain to recede, aided by the pounding of my heart as I watched him. I strafed around the car, slow, only taking my eyes off of him once to glance behind me. The bridge to the factory—my factory was only a stone's throw away. The first part of my plan had worked, but it wasn't time to celebrate yet. It was only serendipitous and not yet set in stone. There was no way to know if I had sent the signal to Aelita, there was no way to know when she'd get worried enough from waiting that she'd just call.

He opened his mouth to start lecturing, ordering, whatever he was going to do. Tensing my shoulders in response so the blood roared in my ears, he was starting to drown himself out as I inched farther and farther backwards towards the bridge. All of the sudden his eyes changed, snapping with the realization that I was trying to make a very slow getaway. Slow and steady would not win this race. I bit my lip and swallowed. Come on. Come on.

A shrill, default ringtone split the tension. My father flinched, then cursed, digging his phone out from his pocket. I waited, watching his every move, as he struggled with the modern phone. He turned away and answered with a harsh and angry hallo.

[pic – pick up vivi and BOOK IT]

A small cry of shock emitted from Vivi's throat, belated and accompanied by her hands digging into my shoulders after I had taken off without warning. I gripped her tight in response, letting adrenaline fly me forward. Bolting down the bridge, into the factory, and sliding on the dusty floor to change directions to run down its lengths, I felt the trail of blood from my forehead slip onto the floor behind me. Couldn't stop to swipe it away or think about it. I swore I could already hear feet in pursuit.

[pic – bloodstained shoe]

I could've hid down in the lab, but there was no doubt my father was close enough behind me that he'd either hear the elevator or follow my path close enough that he'd wind up there anyway. Even though I knew this factory so damn well, I was not going to put my faith and risk everything on something that was only safe if it was a secret.

But there was no way I could keep running forever.

[pic – hiding behind an i-beam]

The factory was derelict. Any part of its labyrinth I ran to could've spelled paralyzation or death. I couldn't take risks and just fuck off somewhere I didn't know, especially not with Vivi in my arms. Taking a deep breath, I waited until the sounds he made started to echo like he was furiously searching the next room.

[pic – go go go]

A door. Upstairs. To the roof. It'd be a dead end. But it was in the exact opposite place of the lab, and if I was just playing a game of prolonging, then this was how I could do it. Even if I had to play matador with him on the rooftop. Snatching a junky bar of metal, I shouldered the door open, slammed it, and wedged the metal in the jamb. Weak, but it would buy us some time.

Running up the stairs took its toll, and I felt sweat start to roll down my face in place of blood. Shouldering the door to the roof was less of a shove and more of a push as my heavy feet beat upon the rooftop until my knees shook. I uttered a groan like I was going to vomit as the world went dizzy. Numbly understanding that my adrenaline was spent and that the hit to the head was worse than I thought, I started to lower Vivi to the ground, clumsily falling to my knees. I winced as my kneecaps burned from the impact. Arms falling limp, I didn't even have time to look at Vivi to see if she was okay before the rest of my body collapsed and my scarred cheek hit the cool roof.

[pic - that]

“Reese!” Vivi called, putting her hands to my shoulder and shoving against it, “Reese, Reese!”

I groaned, forcing words out, “Stay close. Stay close until...argh, until I tell you to run.”

If I couldn't fight against him, at the very least if Vivi was close I'd be able to curl my body over hers and act as a shield until it was over or there was an opening for her to go. My last words were stuttered over several swallows and the useless flapping of my tongue, but she seemed to get the gist of it without being able to say that she did. She kept shoving against me, scrabbling her small fingers in desperation. I groaned again, screwing my eyes shut and pushing my hand back up to my forehead. Inadvertently I had pushed sweat into my wound as I did so and the groan became a quiet, pitiful wail.

Vivi was dangerously silent in her panic. For all her talk of dragons and warriors and adventures, she couldn't muster up the courage when the real world became more ugly than her stories. Not that I was blaming her. I wished this was another adventure. I wished we were fighting just a dragon so we could go home and laugh about it later. She gargled in fear and pressed her body against mine, making a continuous low whine that told me she was trying to stop herself from crying.

[[and the written text ends here. Now it's scraps of notes]]

Chapter 21: devil in the church

KIDNAPPING!!! reese and vivi in a car reese tries to text aelita laying on the backseat call this number (his dads number) (help factory) aelita distracts his dad, reese picks vivi up and RUNS factory roof yumi and aelita go to help reese, odd and jeremie check out lyoko. Yumi wants aelita on lyoko not here. Aelita stays in the stairwell, yumi goes up and offers herself in exchange for vivi reese manages to get up, bloodied, attack father from behind fight and yelling and such reese gets so hurt i'm serious here father goes over, yumi stops reese from doing the same big glowy explosion thing on lyoko reese passes out

chapter 22: phoenix with a heartache?

the yumi pov chapter

aelita pleading to the EMT to go with reese. “i'm his girlfriend!” “sorry ma'am--” “please, i'm the only one he has left!” ok now she can go but this triggers a ! response in yumi and shes like fuck man all this shit happening bc of reese.... yumi basically has to take care of vivi bc periwinkles in the hospital vivi pushes yumi off her own bed yumi tolerates it vivi is like catatonically silent, thats weird, according to odd

[first-edition]

Breaking Seasons

Spencer reid x reader fanfiction

Updates every Tuesday and Thursday 

Read previous chapter here.

CHAPTER 10

Summary- When y/n takes her sick friends criminology class to take notes in the winter, she meets the guest speaker, BAU-FBI agent Spencer reid.  After getting to know more about each other due to a college school related case, that ends up involving y/n herself, they naught just have each to keep warm.

Story begins under cut.

                            ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You walk through the school going to your class finally grateful you can go again to not loose progress. Wearing grey fluffy boots, jeans a oversized sweater scarf and beanie. 

You walk into your class taking off your beanie sitting down and taking out you notes to begin. 

All through class people whisper and talk about what's happening on campus with the shooting. The teachers are announcing drugs and bomb sniffing dogs will be going around school. So you have to keep your back outside the class room while they search. Just like it was back in middle school when D.A.R.E was at its peak.

"Psst y/n!" Someone throws a ball of paper at you getting your attention. You turn your head seeing Megan. Leaning over her seat.

"Im really sorry about Maeve." She says you nod giving a small smile really not wanting to be reminded that your best friend was shot and killed.

To make matters worse the teacher has a moment of silence for all the students that have "passed"

You sigh 'just say it you fucking bitch they were murderd your best friend and aqaintence were fucking murderd' you mind screams at the teacher as the moment of silence goes on for another thirty seconds. Finally letting class continue.

Then entire time is people letting you know how sorry they are and whatnot. Making you want to get up and leave. But allas class ends and you end up not getting any notes distracted from the constant Maeve apologies.

You walk out of class and pick up your bag that resides in the hall. Heading to your next class that ends up being the exact same scenario.

———-

Walking through the courtyard you spot spencer walking with his team just as he turns to look at you you look ahead doing your best to avoid him. You're sure he's texted you multiple times even called. The fear consumes you. It's unhealthy and clouding but it's the best you've got. 

You glance over catching the scene of two girls from Maeve's class talking to him no doubt about it flirting, the pull out his tie smiling and giggling "asking" him about the test questions. A small bubble boils in you but just as it arrives you let it go. 

You continue walking to your destination of the library. 

You enter the quiet building. And walk over to the Abundance of books. Looking through the shelf. The occasional glipse of police men monitoring around and the girls huddling in the corner to point you out to their friends annoys you.

You run your hand down the spines of the books looking for another book just as interesting as Romeo and Juliet. 

You pick up hamlet opening the book and reading the prologue. 

"The average length of a play in Elizabethan England was 3000 lines. With 4,042 lines and 29,551 words, Hamlet is the longest Shakespearean play. With 1,787 lines and 14,369 words...it's a good book" you hear his familiar voice behind you. You close the book. Not turning around. 

"Are you avoiding me?" He asks. Causing you to freeze.

"B-because if I did anything to make you upset or hurt you I apologize I didn't mean to I didn't know." He says trying hard not to profile you but to wait for your words. 

"No." You say picking your back up off the ground slinging it around your shoulder. 

"Y/n." He says you feel him step closer. 

"Did you know that I can't walk around campus without someone saying how sorry they are about Maeve, asking if I'm okay, the moment of silences happening in every class. The weapon sniffing dogs as we have to put out bags out side of the fucking classroom like we're in a middle school D.A.R.E check!" You say 

"It's for safety-" 

"The constant police scowering the field, the looks the fact that four people have fucking died and all anyone seems to care about is the popularity they gain from it!?" You cut him off 

"There's only three.." spencer says

"Your phone has been buzzing this entire conversation go solve another fucking murder" you storm off. Leaving Spencer confused, hurt, impressed, and worries.

———-

"What do we have?" Rossi asks.

"She's speeding up each were 24 hours apart now there 12." Jj says 

"M-more targets more victims." Spencer replies. 

"Hey you okay?" Jj asks him he looks up at her about to lie but then shakes his head no.

"I went to check up on y/n and she blew up in my face." He replies

"I hope you don't mean literally" Morgan says. 

Spencer sighs shaking his head. "I-I think all the police stuff bothers her exponentially." 

"I mean kid from the first time she reacted by the first murder you'd really thought she'd change?" Morgan asks. 

"We'll no.." he says Morgan nods.

"Victims name is Michelle Orland she's a major is nursing and she fits the victim profile brunette and white." Morgan says. 

"The unsub didnt come back though police were posted up all night at both dorms. But it's the targeted dorm" Rossi says 

"Reid go inform Hotch and prentiss." 

Spencer nods and walk out of the room to his next destination. Which is down the hall. 

"It's the targeted form but the unsub didn't come back to peep." He says 

"I wouldn't if the officers were posted up." Emily says Hotch nods thinking about what's wrong with the case what the team is missing. 

"There's been four deaths in a week this is our top priority right now." He says both emily and Spencer nod 

"I'll call Garcia" Hotch says walking off.

"This unsub is really getting on my nerves being so risky as to kill literally right in front of us." She says. Spencer immediately grabs his phone home as it buzzes. Sighing at the fact it's not y/n and just something sent from Garcia. 

"You alright you look sad to see it Penelope." Emily says.

"I'm fine. Come on." He says and walks to where the rest of the team is.

Read next chapter here

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[jounosparticles]

hello!! thank you for answering my question (fukuchi seeing himself in the hunting dogs). I love hearing about them. they make me sick

but. I just like putting the dogs together and seeing what they do. I would like personal hunting dog interactions. maybe not in a professional work setting, but like a company dinner. but I also fear that I would accidentally mischaracterize them in order to fit my own vision JDHRUF does that make sense?

I put a lot of sentimentality into the characters I like and i fear it turns them into something that they are not.

anyway. sorry if this is word vomit nonsense I just want them to be Happy.

oh i completely get you!!

one thing i really like about the earlier seasons of bsd is that a lot of it is just focused on character interactions and establishing dynamics. the newer arcs have been good too, but id love to see an arc similar to the first one where we see all the new characters doing stuff and interacting with each other out of combat or work.

especially for the hunting dogs. i would do anything for more hunting dogs in casual context. they’re all fun characters with very different personalities and seeing them interact just for fun would be really nice.

if you haven’t seen them yet, there’s the shopping anthology and the tag anthology as well as the tachihara-disguise omake for some extra content. there’s also bsd wan although i don’t have chapter numbers since i am having a hard time finding them all (many websites are missing a ton of chapters).

also. to you saying you’re afraid of mischaracterization, if you have some situations or topics you think they could discuss let me know or something and we can work together to figure out what would be said :) i read the hunting dogs chapters a LOT so im getting more and more used to how they act. i can’t say im perfect at characterization but ill try my best :)

anyways. i also want to see more interactions between them. they’re genuinely my favourite group in the series i love them to bits and just want them to be happy :((

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

bored. thoughts on literally all the dna stuff

jackie- "i can fix her"

hyunwoo-i kinda get weirded out by the power dynamic in the sheer idea but tbh. it's nice i think. i just want this boy to be a little happier, man

jenny-i am DYINGGG SHE BOUGHT A BAIENGIACA

xiukai:i cant believe that, to sissela, hed be the grandma who makes you feel like you need a second stomach once you visit. funny. he's 34 with the vibe of a 70 year old

aya-what are her thoughts on fentanyl. i wonder. btw it's always funny when someone goes "NO drugs. but alcohol is great". like mate thats just drug lite

alex-now i'm curious what his disease is even supposed to be, i don't recall anything about that. if it's just some sort of chronic fatigue thing then i'd easily say fuck it and headcanon POTS just because but. i'd like to know

leon: "don't bring gifts for me >:( i'm not a kid >:(" the repression is strong on this man

chiara:i think itd be funny to have an alliance where it's zahir, chiara and aya. impossible to understand a damn word. also "i can fix her" part 2

shoichi:you know how it's canon that chidi anagonye is buff because whenever he felt stressed he just did pushups

sissela:she likes strawberry. noted. also ngl i do find the thomas sissela dynamic sick now that i think about it. for a solid second i felt so mentally ill remembering that he brought her to the experiment because he wanted her to get actually cured and not be in pain

rio-i feel VINDICATED. every time. i want to put that "rio to yuki" voiceline on my forehead. they don't get along on such a fundamental level. they have not had a single good interaction. that's why i feel feral when i see anyone ship them, she hates himmmm. also the delivery is bad but in a way that's good because it fits her, she sounds robotic but it feels like it's just how she be OHSFKSDF SHE DOESNT EVEN LIKE DOGS!!! SHE ACTUALLY FUCKING HATES HIM IM LAUGHING

echion-"i see the hesitation in your fists" about hyunwoo is making me mentally ill. also "don't be pretentious" to magnus IS SO FUNNY. he really went "stfu i'm gonna hit you". the things i dislike is also extremely funny. this sign can't stop him because he can't read, guys. though, he sounds like hunter toh to me in a way that makes me like him by association now. past me is crying but current me thinks this mans is funny as hell

tia-im crying. "what's wrong with my hair (┬┬﹏┬┬)". danny boy roasted her so hard. that "can i draw you ◕_◕ " to jenny though. i see you

daniel-even daniel cant believe it when she says she's a doctor. the doubt in this man's voice. also it's so funny how he reads people for their appearance (like "your hair is a mess) and then with yuki he just roasts him for his personality. does he think that bowl cut ass hairstyle is okay enough to focus on something else

eva-"nah i don't feel like getting a haircut quite yet" as he definitely fucking SEETHES

bianca-"oh my god a fellow weirdo!!!". four person alliance between aya chiara zahir and bianca actually. impossible to parse a single word. and it's funny that she goes gentle on sissela (i assume she's too skinny, so) and with echion she plain goes "you have literally no body fat"

johann-YO????? i am mentally ill about that one for sure. johann is so about trying to be the sort of christian who doesn't suck absolute ass and the interaction that has with the extremely complicated relationship isol and rozzi have with church and religion is so interesting to me rn

laura-how did they get away with this "things i dislike" line. also the bizarre thought process i had with aya and laura is so vindicated. police officers are her favorite

aiden-he did not just "we're not so different you and i" her. his luke is funny as hell though. "you get paid to clean? 🤨" do i need to explain society to you???? he sounds legit confused. hKFJNSDKFJ THEY JUST SHOVED ALL THE FUNNY MEME LINES ON HIM HUH. IT'S NOT LIKE I LIKE YOU OR ANYTHING BAKA

elena-she and rosalio allying would be nonstop complaining. they'd either hate each other or be like soulmates. "i hate the heat but i hate the cold" "me too" and then a look of understanding

felix-he did not hit elena with the "you'd be prettier if you smiled". i like him but. girl freeze him. also confirmation that magnus does not use steroids. weird-ass way to ask though. what if he met a trans person mid transition? would he hit them with that exact line as the poor fucker is like "yeah???"

[artinandwritin]

A little writing practise I did yesterday at 11 pm. I wasn't really sure how to put the idea of texting each other down in a way it still feels natural, but doesn't slow down the plot. I kinda think I did a good job for once :)

This is for GusSiri's modern au during the time period where Siri is about a month away from finishing high school and Gustav is just,,, fucking around in college doing who knows what haha. Have fun!

Unread-Read;

S: I got full marks on my biology test. Mrs. Haddock gave me a sticker because she thinks I worked so hard.

Unread.

S: Did you know red carnations symbolize affection?

Unread.

S: I found it online.

Unread.

S: I thought you would like it, you told me once you like carnations.

Unread.

S: Can I send you some? I don't know if they'll come through okay with the post, but I'm willing to try!

Unread.

Siri took a deep breath and put her phone away - this was no use. She had scrolled through her past messages with Gustav Larson for what seemed like hours, and none of them had been answered.

Not a single one.

She didn't know what had happened between the two of them. One moment, he was texting her what felt like every other minute, sending her pictures of his homework, his dog Fanghook, or things in stores he wished he could buy but didn't have the money for - the next moment, nothing. Only unread messages.

Of course, he must be busy, Siri knew he probably was. He was in college, following classes to get a degree in teaching. He was probably making new friends, going out with them, getting drinks and probably not needing her anymore.

After all, she was still in high school, all alone. She had her friend Adelaide Jorgenson, sure, but all her other friends had already left to pursue a carreer. And now, even Gustav had forgotten about her.

She grabbed her phone again, her fingers trembling as she tried again.

S: How's Fanghook? He must be so lonely, now that you're studying so much.

Unread.

S: To be honest… I feel lonely too.

Unread.

S: I miss you.

Unread.

S: Gustav, I miss you. Can you please text me back?

Unread.

S: It's okay if you can't.

Unread.

S: I'm sorry if I've done something wrong.

Unread.

S: Or said.

Unread.

S: Just please text me back.

Read.

Siri's eyes widened as the two marks in the corner of her message turned blue; she leaned back against her pillows as Gustav started typing.

G: Im so sorry! Roommate hid my phone for a joke, couldn't find it for days.

Her heart jumped.

S: It's okay, I was just worried.

G: Can I make it up to you?

S: No, you don't have to, it wasn't your fault.

G: Yeah no, if you miss me I definitely gotta make it up to you. Of course, everyone must miss me so much, I was so legendary in high school.

Siri chuckled, slowly calming down as she typed a response. Oh, how she had missed his little remarks.

S: They don't talk about you anymore :'). But… I do miss you. Quite a lot.

G: Wanna go get ice cream or something when you get outta class tomorrow? I've borrowed this sick scooter from a friend, I'll come pick you up.

Oh. A strange whirl went through Siri's stomach; her heart felt really light.

S: That sounds a bit like a date, Gustav. Isn't that girl you had eyes for gonna be jealous?

G: Nope, turns out she already had a boyfriend. So there is no-one to worry about.

Relieve washed over her; her shoulders relaxed at his message. However, her racing heart kept beating, and her hands suddenly typed on their own.

S: Do you want this to be a date?

G: Um.

G: Maybe a little. Not gonna lie, you're cute. And you've always been nice to me even tho I'm sometimes kinda an idiot ;).

Butterflies, that's what they were. They were twirling in Siri's belly as her gaze was glued to her phone screen. Her hands trembled at every word they texted to each other.

S: I kinda want this to be a date too.

G: You do?

S: Yeah. I think so.

G: So I guess we've got a date ;))). Anywhere you wanna go?

S: The movies? They're showing Titanic again.

G: Sounds good to me. I'm gonna hog the popcorn, be prepared >:). And!! Pleasepleaseplease put on a thin dress or something. I wanna offer you my sweater.

Siri couldn't help but laugh softly, casting a quick glance to her wardrobe. A sundress may be best suited for his little request and oh, how she adored the detail.

S: I will! Can we make dinner at your dorm after the movie?

G: Yep, I'll just bully my roommate out. And afterwards I'll take you home nice and save.

S: I'll see you tomorrow, can't wait :).

G: See ya, can't wait either.

G: And Seer.

G: I miss you too <3.

A smile overtook Siri; there was nothing that could describe that special feeling she felt when he said that.

S: <3.

She closed her phone, putting it down beside her. Her heart racing, she slid further down onto her bed as she started up at the ceiling. Oh, this would be perfect.

This would be absolutely perfect.

@rosiethedragongeek for the tags!! Just a lil smt for funsies <3

[hacked-by-jake]

Hey girly! ❤️ I will definitely be sending some pics of the merch I bought since its just chefs kiss and is too cute not to share. I surprisingly got it 3 days after ordering and it came 4 days early so im not sure what kind of magic they got going on in the post office but I appreciate it haha

Honestly I was going to take pics once I first received it but then I got terribly sick (ew) and now I gotta put my childhood dog down this wednesday which is absolutely killing me and my mood 😭

I've been rereading a bunch of duskwood fanfics and blogs (including yours ofc ily) which have been making things a bit better. I'll get back to you with the merch tho because your inspo post helped me so much to decide what to do!

I hope you are staying healthy and happy and that you have an amazing rest of your week! Sending lots of love 💜💜

Hey Ho!! ❤️ Ohhh, wow, okay, that was actually a fast delivery. This is really cool! *-* I am so happy for you that you are happy and satisfied with your merch. And above all, I’m glad that you want to send pictures. I’m soooo curious how it looks! Duskwood merch is just beautiful. The merch was probably delivered by ravens and that’s why it arrived so quickly. Hehe.

And oh man, I’m so sorry you have to go through this right now. And that’s why, of course, don’t worry about the photos. And even if you don’t send them for another two years, it’s okay. Take all the time in the world and only do what you feel comfortable with. I’m really sorry and I wish my words could make something better, but that’s hard. I just want to tell you that my thoughts and feelings are with you. This is a hard time but you are not alone. If you need someone to talk to, you know where to find me. So, so much love to you. 💚

And it’s nice to hear that duskwood fanfictions can distract you a bit. I’d give you that tip anyway. Try to distract yourself and do things that you enjoy or make you happy. Please don’t forget, to distract yourself or being happy or similar has nothing to do with forgetting or not caring. It’s absolutely okay to do things that make you happy, and it’s even important to do that. You deserve to feel relief at such a time. Many hugs to you!! 🫂

And I am very happy that you are also reading some of my things, I hope very much that it can help you to come up with some other thoughts and to be able to think a little about other things. Ily!!

As I said, if you need someone to talk to, I'm here. If you need something, let me know. And take all the time you need. And don’t feel forced to send pictures, just do it when you’re comfortable with it, don’t feel obligated. No matter if my post helped you or not, I’m just happy that my inspo was good.

I hope you will be healthy soon. And I hope you will feel a bit better soon. Please take always care of yourself and stay healthy! Lots of love and hugs!! Hope you will have a good week yourself. 🫂💚