#im sending myself to HELL | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

pyunyrage · 3 months ago

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deoidesign · 7 months ago

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Hm... I'm feeling benevolent...

#every time i use the word 'benevolent' i remember that guy who called me 'sensei'???#because he asked me for a crit and i was basically like 'i really dont like your comic' but obviously constructively #and then he kept messaging me asking for more critique and i had to tell him to stop #and then he made a video review of my last comic and the whole review was like #'yeah so i havent really read this comic. looks pretty sick though. i basically harassed her and she had to say to stop lol'#anyways. that was weird. he used the word benevolent a lot so i always think of him. sending good vibes hope hes still making comics #oh yeah also this is kind of spoilers but not really #sorta like afterword stuff #gotta sketch gotta get into the mindset...#im not sure if that counts as spoilers at all lmfao its just minor design changes #anyways.#time and time again #spoilers #what the hell i typed 'spoilers' and '911 spoilers' was the first option??????#uh #adam and steve #ttawebcomic #sketches #sketch dump #these used to be patreon posts but its been like 5 months so. theyre free noe #the word 'benevolent' is literally an inside joke with myself now LOL

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starxslvs · 5 months ago

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ocd--culture--is · 4 months ago

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autistic+ocd culture is switching between "im hyperfixed with religion! /pos" and "im hyperfixed with religion /neg"

#i still ask myself if Allah is going to send me to hell #IM ATHEIST LMFAOOO #actually compulsive obssesive #actually ocd #ocd #actually compulsive #actually obsessive #obssesive #obssesive compulsive disorder #obssesive compulsive expectrum #actually neurodivergent #ocd culture is #religious trauma #religous ocd

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puppyeared · 1 year ago

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ive made myself more wet and pathetic

#new icon because im SUFFERING. im in HELL #its so bad. i had to sign out of discord so now im both lonely and stressed #because i KNOW im still gonna get dstracted. i just did making this URGH #how good are brains at working around things. i once set a 7AM alarm on my phone with snooze cause i was so sure my brain would #be too lazy and keep snoozing instead of actually turning it off. but nay it either kept sleeping through the alarms and snoozing #or actually managed to turn off the alarm half awake that i barely remembered it and then waking up late #i actually have a track record of climbing out of bed and turning my alarm off without remembering. which is impressive bc i have a loftbed #the other thing is setting fake deadlines so make myself panic into doing things ahead of time. but unfortunately that doesnt work either #because if theres one thing my brain will put all its energy into remembering its self assurance. meaning i WILL be able to remember #the real deadline even if i try to trick myself. cant ask someone to give me a fake deadline either #the only things keeping me going rn is that i have deadlines due at least 1 day between each other and excitement being able to talk with #crow after break. but you can see how well thats going <- ignores long term rewards in favor of short term pleasure #BTW CROW IF YOURE READING THIS IM SO SORRY TURNING OFF MY DISCORD WITH BARELY ANY EXPLANATION #im a huge fucking dumbass and i had barely enough impulse control not to block everyone in my dms because i realized that would send a real #really bad msg. youre not distracting me im distracting myself and i promise youre not annoying me i just really like talking to you and #thats why im just barely stopping myself from signing in. I WANT TO TALK TO U LOTS BUT AT THE SAME TIME IM KICKING MYSELF FOR DOING IT #you can be a little mad at me btw cause i definitely could have done that better but i was all over the place abt how to do it without #making u think im ignoring you. IF THAT MAKES SENSE. SORRY #yapping #doodles #puppysona #edit but last week i tried to schedule and give myself work periods and break periods using my class schedule #and reminders on my phone to tell me when to start and stop. can you guess what happened

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the-sparkling-diamond-satine · 5 months ago

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WIP Ask Game!

I was tagged by @vampswritings thank you!!!!

Prompt: Make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

if you hold me without hurting me, you'll be the first who ever did

last

first

texture (chapter 2)

"Please don't hurt me."

All Grown Up

Makeup Christian

Makeup Christian (Modern AU)

t4t (Modern AU)

Lifeguard AU

Jealous!Satine

OCD Christian

thanks, I hate it

Study abroad hook-up to LDR

Firework! for maya

shower sex (laughter during sex prompt)

to cover the bruises (which ending??)

Arabia and Satine

Satine/Nini

Christian/Satine/Nini

Friends hear through hotel walls? (Arabia and Ivy)

Arabia/Ivy + Satine/Nini + La Choc x Baby Doll

Arcade trash rat

Missing Tour Hamish

Catsit Switch Up

Exes to lovers costars in a musical

Slower burn romance

gravity will hold us as we're holding on for life (and we're racing to get older)

nightmares

on a walk

safe

say please

too small to remember/too precious to forget

don't

"Come with me, to the stars!"

moments of tenderness

oral fixation

Hadestown time loop

pregnancy/kid!fic

in her sleep

non-binary Satine

Phone sex line

Coffee Shop AU

Fairy tale doesn't work

Broken mirror

Cat

Theatre AU

Elevator - piano teacher and porn star

memento mori

Lush

5 moments when it wasn't safe to be himself (and 5 when it was)

Next Time Around

trans Christian childhood

t4t

I am tagging @falsestardust @gingerpeachtea @ashleyslorens @franniebridgertons @juanabaloo @all-seeing-ifer and anyone else who wants to play!

#my actual ideas list has over 100 ideas on it...this is just everything i've STARTED WRITING that has 500 words or more #jesus christ. society if i were capable of focusing on one project at a time >>>#or maybe this is fine?? hell if i know but seems unlikely #there is something so wrong with me...it's called being nd /j #i love answering asks and writers block is being a bit of a butt atm so im gonna answer asks and maybe thatll get me writing again!!#ASK ME STUFFSSSS PLEASEEEEEE #you can send as many asks as you want btw im not picky #maya save me from myself and the mess i have created pls #yes i did this one recently but im doing it again because i got tagged again + my wip list has changed since then!#thank you for the tag btw i love doing stuff like this!!#actually i found my old one and that was from last month...oops #there are a couple asks from that one i never answered i gotta find them again #time is weird #tag games

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marcusagrippa · 7 days ago

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terrifying to be contacted by teachers.i dont exist

#my lecturers r being so lovely which is surprising because i know i am Hell to have in class. especially classics as i will just say things #but my classciv tescher isso nice n sdking about analysis and checkinh im ok + sending me pdfs and stuff and i need to KILL MYSELF IMMEDIAT #ELY #blah blah

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bunnihearted · 25 days ago

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🕸🎀˚.⁺⊹

#so i have an appt. to the psychiatric department for personality disorders tmrw...#and like i tried sending a self referral to them last year lmao #and they only said that heyyy you're doing amazing sweetie you are high functioning 🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻#then i've ben to the health care center and since they think they cant treat me bc it's too severe they've sent referrals to other places #which have all declined me... so they also sent one to the psychiatric who sent a referral to this pd department #who that time also said that they can't accept me #so the therapist at the health care center like idk exactly but she sent a report on how they didnt handl my case properly #which made them call on me for an evalutation appt.#but i have 0 hopes. i honestly think the entire psych care is fucking lame and bullshit #i highly doubt they're even equipped to treat personality disorders #& even if they are theire budgetis getting cut bc ppl love having rightists ruling the government .... which means no funds for healthcare #anyway. PLUS it's a man.... -_- which reducuses my chances of being taken seriously even more...#i also hate talking to male therapists/psychiatrists... no fucking thanks. but i have to </3 #i just really dont wanna go. like im gonna have to put energy into trying to argue for my right for treatment. w ppl who should inferstand #UNDERSTAND* i hate typing on my ipad ffs. they should understand my personality disorders..#bit health care proffessionals are horrible ppl and dont give a fuck abt their patients lol. so they're only condescending and rude 🤢🤮#i hate being in these environments bc everyone treats u like shit. the receptionists are so fkn rude and almost outright mean and insulting #the doctors and therapists and psychiatrists are all bullies who look down on u and make u feel small and worthless #so im really dreading it... but im also at my wit's end. i am missing out on my entire life. im desperate for help #even if i wholeheartedly believe that these worthless wastes of space wont give me any treatment i'll still need to go and try #then ig i'll just have to keep pestering the healthcare system. i might wventually even have to start going to the psych. ER so they put #that on my records and like idk. that costs money tho. plus from everyone i've heard from...#being at a psych ER esp when your situation isnt dire is awful and hell #my cousin who had been ther after a sui attempt had said that it 'scared him straight'#and that it was so terrible that he did everything to get back home as soon as possible and do whatever to never end up there again #so yuh... i'd rather not!#i was supposed to (my own decision) to write a list with ALL my symptoms and bring and be like LOOK MONGREL!!!#but since i suffer from avpd...... i havent. i procrastinated and now it's too late whoopsie. i'll just have to wing it fuckkkk 🥴#ofc it also has to be 8.45 .. so early in the morning for me im so mad ahhhhh i dont wanna go i am throwing up and screaming #but atp i'd have to pay $35 myself for not going so that will motivate me enough to force myself to go

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measureformeasure · 9 months ago

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crazy how oblivion and eternity are the only possibilities and they are both equally horrifying

#june.txt #sorry. existentialism on main #i guess eternity is less scary if the universe is truly infinite so one does not lack places to go. but infinity in an uninfinite universe?#hell.a ctual hell #and if it's oblivion then tehre is fucking oblivion just actual nothing #and what do you do with that. accept that everything that has ever been will end?#im going to send myself into a panic attack

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dystopiagnome · 2 years ago

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Gave up but also the watermark really does add <3

Anyways I think Patton should be taller and that’s because. 🧍‍♂️

#moxiety #I've been trying to draw ANYTHING for days please bear with me #God nerfed me with artists block #I don't even like this #I'm like even too embarrassed to explain the plot of the idea bc it's just been so long and I've been so stuck #tss patton #tss virgil #aerforekafh patton's head so small #gonna cry myself to sleep rn besties #this has been a nightmare #art is hell and i am undeserving of this torture bc im a little guy #adfebhorse;iarhjvgosdjvidsadajcsdiofjvwv #send tweet #rip twitter i cant believe ive been gone so long twitter died #send tumblr #that feels wwrong #wwrong (homestuck caught)#BRO I TAGGED IT WRONG IN THE FIRST TWO SECONDS

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serenedash · 2 years ago

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Be QUIET he is SLEEPING. A mimir.

[DO NOT REPOST/REMOVE COMMENT]

#Im having so many thoughts about the update but this is all I can show for it #anyway my internet is so fucked up I cant get onto tumblr on my computer the only social media I can acess is insta #so I had to send this to myself on desktop insta and save it to my phone to post on tumblr mobile #I live in a hell #anyway #art #fan art #lu #linked universe #lu spoilers #i guess #linked universe spoilers #lu hyrule #hyrule #meme #linked universe meme #lu meme

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pathologising · 5 months ago

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Why am I second best to ur mother when ur not second best to mine ???????? Men make me so mad like what am I here for? But no, we can never talk about it......WHATEVERRRRR I guess I'm the evil bitch once more

#sorry but ive had to fight tooth and nail for my relationship to be seen as serious with my family #and you dont even try for yours? like whatever i guess dude #see now im mad as hell! restraining myself from sending paragraphs

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littencloud9 · 5 months ago

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OKAY. I FINISHED SEASON THREE

#im travelling tomorrow. yeah ill download s4 to watch bc WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ENDING #anyway nekoma hehehe <33 but ohh my god that made me a nervous WRECK #karasuno W #also kenma sending the congrats to hinata was SO cute theyre adorable i love them #OH AND THE THIRD YEAR TRIO HUGGING!!!! THAT WAS MY EVERYTHING #and yamaguchi yelling as tsukki and him smiling 🥹 THEYRE ALL SO FAMILY #i love it here. if kageyama gets sent away and cant train with the team or smth tho? shooting myself #lena watches haikyuu

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queen0fm0nsterz · 10 months ago

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Reading my fave thin man and lady fic. Kicking my feet a lot because tbh. Sometimes a sad man really is just a weird woman's science project in a way that is so homoerotic

#carols.txt #when i tell you i've been re-reading this single one shot religiously every single month for almost three years I mean it #《straight》 ship so good we call it queerbaiting #LMAOOOOOO #call it yaoyuri the way these old people r tragic and doomed by the narrative or whatever #listen as a bi person on the aroace spectrum whatever this fic was trying to convey really strikes a cord #while its not the same as my own this characterization of them is so intriguing. im so hooked on it #^^ one thing i think this person really nailed was thin man's immaturity (stemming from his emotions oftentime being too big to control) ->#and the desire of attention that comes with said immaturity while also having the lady be both cold (normal) and intrigued in a way that ->#that really fits her character. curiosity is one of the many facets that make up her character that don't get explored much and i think its #done so well here for like no reason💀 THIS AUTHOR COOKED TOO HARD YOU GUYS #like ofc she wouldnt send him away. shes studying him under a microscope. even though hes annoying as hell #thin man is plagued by sassy man syndrome in this which is really fucking funny cus it lasts a total of 3 seconds before she finds him out #PLUS THE TALK ABOUT THE TOWER AND THE WORLD... AUGHHH #i need this author to give me their brain NOW #AUGHHHHHAAGGGHEEHH #everyone needs to start doing thinlady the way this person was doing it #this is the biblically accurate old people (in case my theory abt baby lady having been in the pale city is wrong)#live laugh love. its my birthday. spoiling myself a bit. goddamn.

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aq2003 · 3 months ago

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i'll be honest i genuinely thought patrick marber wrote dj for david to play him (what with the "are you a doctor?" and "is it time?!" lines) but i found out that no this was written in 2006 for the guy that played the lizard in the amazing spider-man movies. and also both of these lines are in the original. that's crazy

#don juan in soho #david tennant #the most notable changes made were dj's big monologue near the end #and also instead of dj saying (essentially) 'well at least i'm not a rapist and a pedo' he says 'well guys at least i'm not donald trump'#haha........ha.....................ha.....................#oh and the addition of a the music/dance numbers #i told myself i was just going to read the script but then i ended up watching the play again (while reading alonside). i have a problem #I KIND OF THINK DJ IS ONE OF DAVID'S MOST CHARACTERS EVER????????!!!!! im insane #like there are so many elements to dj that i really love from other characters that he's played before #like kilgrave's fundamental selfishness and how he never grew up n only lives for his own pleasure n hurts everyone around him w/out a care #ten's inability to live without the company of others and how he reckons w mortality and dies without reaching catharsis #richard ii and how he starts off unaffected/unlikable but you see more and more of his humanity as the story goes on + he loses his power #hamlet's revulsion with the inauthentic nature of the world that he lives in and how he struggles w his Awareness Of Self #but like i feel llike dj is written in such a way where he's intentionally ambiguous and it's difficult to pin him down completely and that #makes him soooooooo interesting so interesting hwoever this means writing real analysis about him is kind of so hard #i'm putting him in the salad spinner #and then im sending him to hell again god what a deeply terrible and unpleasant person <3

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cutiepatootiekatie · 8 months ago

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i got bored so i accepted a friend request from some random guy on snap and the first thing he said was “wyll” so i blocked him 😭

#might’ve been a little mean but i am NOT sending pics of myself to some rando white dude 🙅🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♀️#can guys start actual conversations for once instead of asking the driest most boring ass questions ever 🤔#trick question: the answer is no #gaslight gatekeep girlblog #girlblogging #this is a girlblog #just girly things #hell is a teenage girl #this is what makes us girls #im gonna cry #kms

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