#im sad typing this up but yeah

[cosmicallyavg]

has anyone else ever stopped to think how the tardis feels when doctors and companions leave because its ruining me rn

like imagine you're this sentient spaceship and you have an unbreakable bond with a time lord who stole you and ran away. and how sad it must be watching them die and be reborn over and over again. feeling them die and be reborn over and over again. oftentimes destroying your very being in the process. you've been together for thousands of years, possibly more, and you've gone on nearly every adventure together. 

they know you inside and out (literally) and while they are a quite careless owner, they make up for it with the constant repairs when you get damaged or need general maintenance. its how they show you they care, because you know they do. you have a telepathic connection with them, after all.

you take them wherever they need to go, even if its not where they want to go. its fun to show off every now and then and make it look like they don't know how to pilot you. but all of time and space, so many distress signals, you hear planets and ships and people calling out for help. your time lord isn't like the others, they like to help. you take them to those people so they can help.

and oh, the people. your time lord likes to pick up strays along the way - human beings more often than not. you don't particularly like the idea, the humans always have sad endings, and you don't like to see - to feel - your time lord experience that sadness over and over again. but they continue. how many has it been now? too many to count. but you keep count, you do. 

some of the humans you're more fond of than others. some of them your time lord is more fond of than the others. some of them grow on you, others don't, but all the same if your time lord cares about them, you care about them. you like when they say that you’re bigger on the inside, that part is fun.

perhaps you don’t mind the humans as much as you should, you're supposed to have multiple pilots anyway. if this is how you procure them, then so be it. unfortunately your time lord never cares to show any of them how. they would rather bumble around on their own and crash land into things than share that part of you to their human friends. hubris has always been their downfall.

there have been a few that have done it though, some more successfully than others. finally! you have another pilot!! you like these ones especially, they pilot you much more carefully than your time lord ever has, and they have established what little telepathic connection their tiny human brains can handle. not quite the same that you have with your time lord, but every little bit helps you feel more connected to those humans than the others.

it hurts more when those ones leave.

it hurts when all of them leave.

but your time lord continues on. drying up the tears and probably regenerating into a new face - again - but this new face loves you all the same. they pick up more strays. the strays leave. repeat endlessly.

you have too many bedrooms in storage, too many clothing preferences in the back of your wardrobes, too many favorite snacks left to expire in the cupboards, too many personal items and too many souvenirs from their travels hidden away, never to be picked up again. but you're infinite, you can keep going so long as your time lord keeps breathing. you can continue growing and changing, making room for every new human friend, altering yourself for every version of your time lord.

you hold all of these memories, all of these lives, just the same as your time lord. but they don't have to organize, sort, and carry the physical reminders of all of those lives like you do.

they can saunter off and forget it all, when its convenient. but you know they don't actually forget. neither of you can ever forget. 

and the weight isn't any less just because there's two of you to carry it.

[lunarharp]

things.. uh... Gentry era au

[corfisers]

i really need to finish this one day

[bunnihearted]

sometimes i truly do feel so isolated and alienated because even if people on here are lonely and sad they still have friends and partners and they're capable of having jobs and getting educations ... and im like ok wow im like actually the only one who doesn't just "feel" those things but also is completely worthless and insignificant. cool 👍

[risoria]

Anecdotally I can tell you about the saddest dog I have met in my life - and I only worked at a the small animal clinic as a vet for three months in the summer. If I had stayed, I would have met countless others.

A fenchie that was shockingly underweight because he had previously suffered complications after surgery because of his obstructed airways (BOAS). The surgeon had told the owners that the dog couldn’t be put under anasthaesia again because chances were extremely high that he wouldn’t survive it.

He came in because of an corneal injury - this is another thing that is very common with brachy dogs because of their protruding eyes and flat face. They scratch their eyes very easily on sticks, bushes, sharp corners and get deep ulcers on their eyes, simply because of the way their face looks. This is very painful and also often leads to infection which is why antibiotics are most often used - even small scratches can easily worsen to involve more layers of the eye, and go deeper. Surgery is most often needed to remove the dead and damaged layers of the cornea for the healthy tissue to be able to heal - same principle as with skin wounds. Worst case scenario is you have to remove the entire eye in the end if it doesn’t respond to treatment and to relieve the animal of the pain from the eye (enucleation).

This dog got a referral so I have no idea what happened to it of course, I only diagnosed it with the corneal ulcer - it was big and deep and it wasn’t the first time for this dog. And it couldn’t have surgery, because of its BOAS. But the ulcer needs surgery because it’s extremely painful and will most likely get worse and worse. So… :) I hope they managed to treat their dog in some way but… Imagine a scenario where you had to put your dog down because it scratched its eye on a small stick - because it’s bred to not be able to breathe and will die if you put it through surgery. I know that this was an extreme case of course, but it was still because of its airways in the end.

[primordial-being]

not enough mitsuru kirijo angst in the world

[usertoxicyaoi]

sometimes you'll just open your notes app and-

Macau gets it. Being in love and being loved looks wonderful on Vegas. Being trusted and honoured and appreciated for his dedication and diligence to his work looks befitting on Vegas.

But, Macau misses his big brother.

He shouldn't, because that's being selfish. That's asking Vegas to carve out some time and attention for him too, when Vegas already has his hands full. He's got more important things to focus on now.

So, Macau chooses to stay silent.

Or maybe it's a lesson to learn, that he isn't a child anymore. He can't keep on going to Vegas for every little thing. He can't keep on relying on Vegas.

But then, who else does he go to? Who else will love him? Who else will understand him and everything that he's gone through?

He remembers how, at school, when he was 9 years old, his class teacher gave them all a task to share with the class who their favourite superhero was. Macau said it was his big brother, Vegas. He remembers how some of the boys around him sniggered at his reply, whispering about either how lame or incorrect his answer was, but he didn't find it funny, and he wasn't ashamed, and he didn't care. Then, when he was 12, they were asked to write a parapgraph on their best friend and to read it out loud to the class. Macau wrote about his big brother, Vegas. The boys in his class still sniggered. He still didn't care. Then, at 15, they were told to improvise a speech lasting 3 minutes long only, on the most important person in their life. Macau talked about his big brother, Vegas. They still sniggered, and he still didn't care.

Now, at the brink of turning 18, if he were asked all those same questions once again, his answer to them would still remain the same.

Macau's whole life has been shaped by Vegas. He's been not just a big brother, but a parent and a best friend and a role model too. He idolises him. He owes his whole life to him.

And that means coming to terms with the fact that, just like how Vegas has devoted his whole life in raising Macau, its now time for Vegas to devote the rest of his life in him putting himself first. And for Macau, that means him needing to realise his place in it.

He's just not sure where he stands in all of this. He doesn't want to overstep and end up tainting and damaging the good Vegas has in his life now. He doesn't want Vegas to ever turn around and look at him, only to remember his past and have that weigh him down heavy. Not when Pete, Vegas' light and his future, is right there with him.

[bunnyb34r]

Knock on wood, but I think this has been one of the most peaceful and pleasant birthdays I've had

Too hot to go to the outlet mall like usual and I don't feel like going anywhere really so we're just chilling at home and I gotta be honest, it's pretty great

[cloudbends]

first arc of horizons finished.... Broooo.... This keeps serving.....

[iced-souls]

Schulkl deebles!

Everyone has their own way of coping, and through math and bio I have discovered mine is doodling—

[femboycharles]

good morning I am awake!! but not feeling my best

[bobzora]

yeah femc has some really solid romance routes but i just cannot be assed to care too much because there are some crazy level yuri goings on in this game

[chantryexplosion]

i loaded up all my previous playthroughs to see the new kisses and they’re just not showing up for ronen 😔 they work fine for everyone else tho

[0809sysblings]

idk why I'm posting this here but it's fine because I can do whatever I want. sorry I think I'm having an enneagram type 1 moment. it's not mental illness, it's because of my enneagram type! can't help being a Gemini Enneagram Type 1

also I keep using the amulet's powers so I've been being hit with the after effects. such power deranges a man /ref

[izzy-b-hands]

Reason number idk to keep my shot day more consistent (tho tbf i had been doing really well on timing up until last week lmao):

Shot day being off means i get extra weepy over just. anything. everything. My brain looks at anything and goes 'oh yeah, that's like (horrible traumatic memory), you 'member that? Yeah, sure ya do! here's a recap of that particular time for ya too.'

and like??? I am not a fan of it today. i mean i never really am but, I have shit to do rn lmao (dishes and i keep having smutty ed/izzy and nathan/pickles ideas that refuse to actually flow on the page once i open a word doc.)

[mrlesbian]

i love how the medical advice i get to not make my condition worse is to simply control it. like wow cool, idk why i never thought about doing that before, thank you i'm cured :)