#im rotating that concept in my head now actually

[djevelbl]

My dad: are you telling me to shut up?

Me: uh no but only bc you won't like it if I do

[acanthemp3]

you know what even tho i had no idea what i expected going into the valkyrie climax event, i knew it would involve a lot of convoluted bullshit i would still enjoy to get to a conclusion, and i think somewhere deep in my soul i knew that conclusion would be about choosing queer joy in honor of those in the past who couldnt... i will try to explain in the tags but

[dateamonster]

so i havent watched/read chainsaw man but i am roughly familiar with its concept and i remember a while ago seeing a post to the effect of "if theres a devil for every thing or concept a person is afraid of, logically somewhere out there is a transgender devil" and ive been rotating that shit in my mind ever since because yeah i think thats me. i think my gender is actually just whatever is scariest for you. my ideal presentation is whatever makes you hardest to get through a conversation with me. if you think im one of those fabled reasonable respectable transgenders that wont bite your head off for saying the wrong thing thats misgendering. and im going to kill you now.

[feelingthedisaster]

Hello hi. I have no idea anything about the fandom you’re in, however I recognize a few names based off of the stuff you reblog. Mainly Aaron and Neil, I believe. So for that ask about characters could you tell me a bit about (either of) them?

hiii <3 <3

okay, so a lot of yapping alert cause im obssesed with those two little guys

aaron

How I feel about this character: i cannot physically stop thinking about him. he invades all my thoughts. he is basically my head roomie at this point. he is such an asshole. i love him. he is not normal and trying so hard to be which its a fact i cannot get over. also, he is the funniest motherfuxker alive and has been way before the bonus chapters, finally some recognition to my boy

All the people I ship romantically with this character: katelyn basically and only. tho i've read kevaaron/katekevaaron fics but i dont really ship them i just think the fics are neat

My non-romantic OTP for this character: hmmmmmmmmmmm. so hard to choose. i think he has a lot of potential with matt for a super cool friendship. i have him and andrew's sibling relationship rotating in my brain 24/6 (saturdays are aaron only) but the neilaaron bestfriendisims are so funny to read idk. AND nicky god. i need to crack open his parent-esque/cousin relationship. its impossible to deffine by normal standars, calling them cousins feels like it isnt enough and parent figure doesnt fit but they are family, and technically blood family but they are actually found family and and and

My unpopular opinion about this character: this opinion has actually becoming less unpopular since nora had to write text of the subtext but he isnt as homophobic as people make him to be. like, he isnt disgusted/feels hatred towards homosexuality he just dislikes neil and doesnt like the oversexualizating comments nicky makes. bc i mean, love nicky, but sometimes they are a little bit much. and yeah, he has internalized homophobia, he has even admitted it but i dont he externalizes it. the thing with neil is dislike towards neil/getting a reaction out to break the bros before hoes deal. (sorry i love calling it the bros before hoes deal its so funny, its their fault)

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: i want to see him break. like for real. super ugly. gimme whump. . gimme failing everything he work for. gimme relapse. gimme all the bad things that could happen and worse. (except the trial going badly, i cant handle that)

neil

How I feel about this character: neil josten neil josten neil josten neil josten neil josten. i cannot describe him. he is such a concept. i devore it like i've never eaten before. he is a bit of nathaniel and a bit of neil and he is both and he is all and he is everything. and he is a lie but its all true. and he doesnt care but he cares very much. he manipulates like he breathes and he crimes like its in his blood but that bad but that has a benefit but no no thats not. god. he sees people, he helps, he is a sweetheart with who he cares/needs but can be the absolute worst if he needs it. like, like, he makes me insane. i cant form coherent thoughts about him

All the people I ship romantically with this character: andrew. and that kinda it. maybe kandreil in a weird queerplatonic way but not romantic with kevin but like yk

My non-romantic OTP for this character: kevin. and jean. and dan. and wymack. and idk, everything and everyone. all his interpersonal relationships are so interesting to me.

My unpopular opinion about this character: i can remember anything right now? maybe like i dont like him and andrew getting married but idk.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: mental health. shit has to affect him. he will never go to the therapy, its neil cmon, but that doesnt mean that shit doesnt happen and that his mental health is pristine and that there arent other things aside therapy. like, i want to explore more of everything that happened in the books affect him mental health-wise. not like a diagnosis/recovery but more like an exploration of his intricate issues

[bleedchan]

my steam review for ButtKnight, an anime porno game that just had a demo released.

it's called: a way to not have to see the men too much? lol

jesus, straight westerners are the worst. they're so scared of seeming gay that even when they can draw hot anime girls, they make the guys look absolutely disgusting, like, as a joke or something.

i really like how the girls look. i wishlisted this game because of it, despite having my brother on my steam, lol. and yet when i started it up and was greeted with ButtKnight on the splash screen and his chin looks like a butt and the throne armrests look like butts i just went like, "uch," instinctively. like, i couldn't stop myself.

i'm sure a bunch of people *like* the sense of humor this game – it's called ButtKnight, after all! and even if you skip the story, you're presented with a tedious unskippable tutorial that spoonfeeds you the advanced gameplay concepts of a shmup with a shoot button, a slash button, and a bomb button – but is mostly an excuse to force you to experience the borderlands-tier western indie game dev humor. oh hehe ButtKnight fell over and you see his butt now!

it's just this pervasive feeling of like, i guess the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ joke's on me, huh? you're making me sit through your ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ randy pitchford wannabe resetera tier standup, you're putting ButtKnight's face with his butt chin xD on my hud at all ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ times in case i get too shy about the idea of having a boner about anime girls while A Man is present.

i'm not sure where the developers are from, but as bad as brown hair main character kun is in every harem anime and porn game ever, at least he isn't actively trying to make my penis softer by looking sooo comedically ugly and being called ButtKnight (maybe when you beat the game it goes way to go ButtKnight! and you see him having sex with all the girls!) and being on the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hud at all times lol. sometimes it feels like French people are the worst for this, to the point many seem to have a straight up fetish for ugly men. are the developers French..? just a shot in the dark.

anyway, i want to like this game so badly. it's like 80% of the way to being amazing, and then they smear dog poopy all over parts of it because they started feeling too panicky about the idea of like working on a horny video game without making it seem like this big stupid joke and having mr magoo at all times on the hud like doomguy to occasionally slide in and say something like claptrap and then fart.

so i guess i'll tepidly recommend it, but with a disclaimer. lol. but i mean the game isn't out yet. maybe you could make a teehee funny joke option that censors all the men's faces with mosaics, or replaces them with stuffed animals, or you could pay an actual japanese porn artist to make alternate art for all the men? can we all convince the developers this would be really funny before the game is actually released?

again, it's almost amazing. i want to like it so bad. maybe you could just put a helmet on all the men.

EDIT: lol, im glad theres a demo because i had it paused to write this, and when i started playing and saw the rotating buttknight head on the loading screen and ButtKnight got a powerup and i saw his butt more xD i said out loud to myself "i literally can't play this" and closed it immediately. it's a bold choice artistically and i respect that they're going for it despite it losing them sales, as an artist, but i also hate it. they could have made him look like jump king!

EDIT EDIT: for more enjoyment, go back and read this in trevor from gta 5's voice.

EDIT EDIT EDIT: JESUS JUST MAKE THE *PLAYER* A HOT GIRL TOO!!! WHY ISNT THE BUTTKNIGHT A HOT GIRL??? ITS SO ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ OBVIOUS!!! EVERYONE WOULD LIKE IT MORE!!! IF YOURE SO SCARED TO SEEM GAY THAT YOU CANT DRAW GUYS THAT ARENT TOTALLY DISGUSTING JUST DRAW GIRLS SINCE YOURE GOOD AT THAT!!! ♥♥♥♥ SAKE!!! AAAAA!!!

EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT: you know, for a game called ButtKnight, there's sure a lot of focus on boobs.......... i bet you see buttknights butts on various parts of his body more than you see girls asses, honestly. again, it's so close to being ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ amazing, and overall if i'm being objective – like, not taking into account how frustrated i am that the overall thing is unplayable for me – the game is maybe 75% amazing. the gameplay seems cool, mechanically! the art is objectively high quality! they just smeared dog poopy on 25% of it, and the smell of that 25% is so bad i'd rather go play like a japanese porno game that doesn't have *any* dog poopy.

[helloanthy]

Just finished reading your transfem Saionji/transmasc Nanami & Anthy notes and I loved it so much. I wish there were more people discuss RGU from a trans lense/thinking about how RGU characters being trans would affect the narrative and help explore the already present under other lights themes (because I think that for what RGU's world and theme are it would jive well with trans themes and for discussing the community as a whole), and your notes were such a joy to read.

You captured the characters perfectly and transmasc Nanami has all of my heart I love him so much. I have been rotating the idea of a transmasc/gnc nanami into my head for a long time, but I never really realised how to articulate it, and I think you did a really great job with him.

Him envying Anthy for being able to wear a dress (even if it's the rose bride dress...) but at the same time fearing becoming what the rose bride dress actually is and just expressing all of those feelings into hate for Anthy not dressing like "a proper boy", UGHHHH I LOVED THAT CONCEPT.

Saionji still having flings with Touga despite the fact that he will never chase after her and hating Anthy because she's the only woman Touga shows "interest" in and actively "chases" after, while she's just another conquest for him, she's just like any other girl for him. Gut wrenching, absolute punch in the gut.

I never thought of female Touga and transmasc Nanami but I feel like a new entire world was open up to me, and it's an absolutely amazing concept.

I love how in depth you go with this vision of the characters, and his you dwell into real actual problems and experience that trans peps have and how society's cisheteronormative view has an effect on us.

Sorry for leaving this long ass ask, but I got some brainrot and I am prolly gonna write something about it and I wanted to express to you how much I Ioved reading your notes <3 <3 <3 <3

aaa im so happy u enjoyed them ! & i agree !! i also wish there were more discussion and trans exploration of RGU ! i agree so much that RGU's themes would mesh well with trans narratives which is why i enjoy them so much ... my friend said, that he thinks transgender headcanons enhance RGU's themes and help modernise the story as well one of the messages of RGU is that heteropatriarchy hurts everyone. including boys & men. but it was crucial to the impact & message of the story that the main characters and narrative struggles were of girls, because they suffer most under the patriarchy revolutionary girl utena was and IS still revolutionary, but it was still made in the 90s and has some blind spots. since people are becoming more aware of it now why not add explicit transness to the narrative ? [the trans AU i hold the closest to my heart is transfem anthy 🥹] im glad you agree with my character interpretations ! i actually dont feel like im good at characterisation [which is why i personally draw instead of write aaa so often i wish i could write things but they require much more skill] or do i think im that good at dissecting gender to be honest ... so im very happy to read your message and kind words ! pleeease dont be sorry for the ask i loved reading it and if you do end up writing trans RGUs i would love to read that aas well !!!!

[night-dark-woods]

5, 7, 15 for the fic asks!!

thank you!!! this got extremely long.

5. What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write?

oooh hm. idk about Never, but ive been rotating the idea of Chalco and Aunor interacting bc the different ways they orbit around Ikora FASCINATE me, and the things that have been asked of them are very different. it would have to be epistolary i think and while i DO think i have enough primary sources to get their voices and values alright (letters from Aunor etc, and then WQCE my beloved), im not confident in my ability to do epistolary, & also i'd need something specific for them to argue about (that i also am interested enough in to litigate thru character POVs).

i've yet to decide if I'm accepting the TFS ending cutscene panel where Ikora is using strand, bc im suuuper ambivalent on Ikora using any darkness subclass- i need to re-listen to a bunch more post-campaign stuff to see how i feel about it, bc i know she talks to Mara a LOT in mission voicelines, and i think a lot of their past conflict has been over Mara's antipathy towards the Light & focus on balance over sheer faith in the Traveler (not religious Faith-faith, as we've talked abt before, bc i dont think Ikora sees the Traveler as a *god* like Zavala does- it's like gravity or thermodynamics its simply *true,* and can be explained. its not something that requires faith or sacrifice.)

but if i decide to accept that as canon then i think that would make a FASCINATING argument because Aunor has been Ikora's hunting dog for YEARS, cold-blooded killer putting down guardians who fall to darkness, and i think the sheer betrayal (from Aunor's POV) of Ikora changing her position on that would cause SUCH a crisis of faith for Aunor (what does that mean for what she's done in Ikora's name? what does that mean for how she can live with the weight of it?), and i think constrasting that with Chalco being Ikora's right-hand man (her silly rabbit / does she call you that / no) BUT without the blind loyalty that Petra has for Mara ("you are not the queen and i am NOT one of her cadre") could be sooo fun bc it wouldn't be a simple "Aunor mutiny Chalco loyal." i just dont know if Actually Writing it will provide more enrichment for me than just rotating the concept in my head.

that got long!!! and also ive partially convinced myself to work on it eventually lol.

anyway. that's the main one that i can think of, that isnt a "this scenario sounds hot BUT i dont want to write it bc there isnt enough character work to make the logistical nightmare of writing porn worth it" LMFAO

7. How many ideas for fics do you have right now?

5-ish?

- Elsie&Amanda (nicknamed "horsegirl movie but its a robot with dysphoria") where Elsie needs help fixing some part of her body and she can't do it by herself for some reason and then has to deal with the fact that Amanda regards her body with a simple honest appreciation that Elsie will NEVER feel for herself bc of when and how she became an exo!!! her own mother calls her body a "walking lazaretto" and she watched her father die horribly for this technology!!! god!!!

- Ikora's fight with Madhir & how she let him eat her ability to want anything. god. Ikora Rey woman that you are. also inspired by the way the demon works in dunmeshi bc i think the Ahamkara should work more like that. fuck monkey's paw genie trick wishes, getting exactly what you wished for and in doing so losing part of Who You Are is so much better. the Ahamkara aren't evil tricksters they are PREDATORS they are the very tippy top of the food chain and as dunmeshi says. to eat is the sole privilege of the living. there is no moral weight to that no matter how violent and that makes the violence of it far more interesting!!!

- somewhere between 3 and 5 high-concept porn fics, 2 at WIP stage and several that may or may not get written, all Petra-centric bc i (and Jackie) love to put that dyke in situations (all have Mara/Petra/Sjur as a given established relationship, the two WIPs are focused on Mara/Petra and Petra/Sjur & the ones that may just stay as ideas have bonus Petra/Amrita(/other corsairs) & Petra(/Sjur)/Amanda)

15. How do you come up with titles for your fics/chapters?

song lyrics mostly!!! often the one i was listening to a lot while writing/thinking about it, or one that makes me feel like that post thats like "song that reminds me of my favorite character comes on and i make the most unwell expression known to man."

the problem is i want the vibe of the whole song to mostly fit which means i've recently become aware that i nearly exclusively listen to sad music, apparently, bc i could not find a Single Song i like that fit the very fluffy/conflict-free Amanda/Sloane fic i wrote recently, so instead its both a line from the fic and a bit of a pun on the content lol: follow-through (impact play)

[dollivication]

hiiii im glad you liked my insane ramblings about guro and OH MY GOD you were so right w the ring finger thing im rotating that concept...i love pathetic men...

speaking of pathetic. kind of springboarding off of what one of the other anons said about Nero but only showing affection when u got them bleeding would make them do some loony shit. you hear hey babe watch this and then dantes intestines are spilling out bc thats the only way he can get your attention and he wants it soso bad. and like they COULD force you to pay attention to them but youre so cold and its so much easier this way because itll just heal later and it really doesn't even hurt that bad anymore? (that is the blood loss talking there are so many stains on the floor that are NOT coming out. perhaps not even just blood teehee)

or like. elbow deep in vergil's guts and hes trying so hard to pay attention when youre naming everything even tho you know hes not gonna be able to focus bc taking an interest in peoples hobbies helps you get closer right?? and really whats more intimate than someone having their hands all up in your organs, no one ELSE has ever touched him there! no one else knows him inside and out like this, its so romantic! especially if you do some freak shit like lick the blood off your hands bc now part of him is in you...utterly delusional i fear

okay last insane thought for now yk how in 3 dante takes a shot to the head like its nothing? imagine asking so nicely and sweetly if you can try it because you wanna see how itll heal and also all the gray matter spattering everywhere. youre not cleaning it up of course its his fault for making such a mess!! also not convinced theres actually brain in there like you are making your insides be on the outside because you want someone to look at you BE NORMAL!!! -☢️

WHEN I READ THIS I WAS GIGGLINH BECAUSE HOLYYYSHIY YU GET ME SO WELL HUGS YOU!!!! LIVE LAUGH LOVE DMC GORE.. cw!!1!1!

THEY ARE BOTH TWO ENDS OF THE FREAKY SPECTRUM AND I AM ABSOLUTELY HERE 4 IT!!! laik omgfgh.. vergil thinks there’s something soww poetic about quite literally giving himself up, all of him, for the person he loves most.

if you decide to laik… cut off his tongue and put it in a jar or just basically any other part of him,, he is going to be over the MOON!!! laik awhh, yu love him so much that you’re preserving a part of him <33 uhm!! please get help! Loony!!!!1!!!1

WHEREAS DANTE IS LAIK.. INITIATING IT!!! comes up to yu laik a kid showing off a bug like hey check out this cool gash you can see my bone!! make it worse pretty please??? you should totally skin me ahahaha…!! LIKE STOP OT YOU CREATURE‼️‼️ JES SO NASTAY he loves the sting methinks..

this is like mary jane 4 him he gets high off this and harder than ever before!!! the only downside for the both of them is that your fascination is often very short-lived… (◞‸◟)

vergil is more likely to wait around until you decide to get hit by another urge to ‘study’ him whereas dante is ALLLWAYS trying to appeal to you. hey, you’ve looked at my ribcage already, look at my brain!! or what about my eye?? YUCK

THE LAST BIT OH MY GODH!!!! it always ends the same! you losing interest after a bit of observing, leaving them to pick up the foul, iron scented mess. auwaaa.. for a split second they probably realize the fucked up situation you’re both in, which i reckon causes them to spiral a bit—before they remember how happy you looked to be squeezing their insides!!…

oh well nobody ever said being together should be a healthy thing! they’ll clean the blood up later,, right now they just need a biiiig nap<3 and the cycle will repeat!!! they can’t wait!

imsosillyimsosillyimsosillyimso

[chilapis]

hi i’m in love with genshin lapis can u tell me her lore can u tell me everything can i know i wanna know im so curious im sitting here w my notes eagerly awaiting ur response ✍️ i love u btw

hi, hello ! i love you too . also i read your tags & i think they absolutely can be friends. two of them (they’re going to beat people to death together)

do be warned that there is heavy projection because yeah ajax is like. with me-with me (real) (mentally ill) but also if i’m making a s/i to ship with him as well … tragically she will be suffering from the same deeply rooted character flaws as myself.

genshin lapis is . quite literally just a retired, immortal warlord who just wants a simple, domestic now.

beautiful woman who used to consider international peace a mere (unhelpful) suggestion is now trying to help people finalise their divorces and drafting contracts for business. she isn’t particularly affiliated with any region mostly because she isn’t, open about who she really is? so she’ll spend centuries in a nation, and then move to another every 60-70 years or so til she completes the rotation and then start all over; new name, new identity, new past, but the same face and the same profession. she loves liyue with all her heart but tends to stay there the least because one in every three people there are more than at-least 150 years old and she has gotten that “wait, don’t i fucking know you” look from a little too many people for her liking. she also avoids old people like the plague for this same reason because she doesn’t want to see the gears click in someone’s 90 year old grandma’s head.

except the thing is that she doesn’t need to be open because she makes it so painfully obvious. you know how most non-mortal or long-waiting characters in genshin will just shut up and entertain their mortal company’s false assumptions and beliefs? not her ! her pride is far too big for that. if you’re wrong she’ll tell you that you’re wrong and she knows because she was there (the realisation of what she said will hit her in exactly 10 minutes once her tangent is over. everyone who knows her falls into either one of two categories: either they think she is insane, or they think she is immortal. Both are correct.

i feel like despite being in the legal field she does not particularly. care about justice or law; in the sense that she doesn’t quite, believe in it existing anymore? she helps people out, don’t get me wrong; she’ll even do it pro-bono, free of charge, but her acts of kindness feel more like tossing a slab of meat to a caged animal than actually doing something nice, if that makes sense. there’s this, looming feeling of detachment from everyone and everything that she cannot shake off & she knows it’s because immortality has deeply affected her ability to relate to others or form connections but she’s helpless in the sense that she she doesn’t even know what a life beyond this would be like, and she’s not sure if she wants to. societies are moral-run now; there’s more rules, there are new concepts.

& then she meets ajax & ends up forming not only just an emotional attachment but one that is so intense and overwhelming that she doesn’t . know what the hell to do about it. she is freaking out because this is probably the first time she’s ever felt this way & he’s there & he’s talking to her & she doesn’t know what it is but she’s staring at him with such wide eyes. also gets super protective of him, even after finding out that he is literally the 11th harbinger. the relationship is what would get her back to her old spirits of um . killing and battling and conquering. except in the past she did it for the sake of it. she did it for the act itself. but now it’s for him — now she does it because she knows he wants power and honestly, she does too! she may have repressed it for a bit but she also wants to be on top of the food chain! just like how she used to before! & now they can do it together!

except there’s . one teeny tiny issue. she isn’t fond of the fatui; she didn’t mind before and even took on a few cases for some of them but after knowing ajax & loving ajax she will start kicking and screaming and unsheathing her sword the moment the tsaritsa is mentioned. she actually doesn’t even mind the harbingers all too much (except pulcinella) (she has beaten him up and will do so again DO NOT let this woman near a retirement house she is not afraid to fight senile white men) but the tsaritsa just . makes her blood boil for some reason. I think a part of her (her ego) might even lead her to wanting to play god herself but um. we’ll see about that

she LOVES a good spar though. chilapis love language (we fall deeper in love every time one of us backs the other into a corner). I feel like the first time she saw foul legacy, childe was expecting her to be afraid or nervous, and he thought she was because she kept looking away but no she was just un. Deeply flustered and appreciative of his form. after she finds out what a toll it takes on him though she refuses to ever let him use it when they're playfighting. ALSO SHE LOVES HIS FAMILY? she never had one herself so domestic comfort is such a new concept for her and it makes her so giddy. i feel like after meeting ajax she just tags along with him on his missions. her job? her affiliations? her home? who cares, she finally found what’s truly hers. she won't ever bring it up herself but if he told her to permanently move to shneznaya i think she would. in a heartbest. i feel like she’d be the first to bring up marriage though. childe may want to simply date at first, see how things pan out, but she’d be like dating …..? What is this “dating” you speak of ….. She is actually fully aware of modern concepts 60% of the time but she likes to play dumb. especially when he’s around.

[clear-what-i-was-seeing]

Get to know me 

tagged by the wonderful and amazing @petrowriting!! thank you <3

Share your wallpaper: 

This one’s my home screen, I took a photo of a cabbage when I was like 12 years old and did something to invert the colours and have had it ever since lmao. My lockscreen is this fanart of Will Graham because it’s amazing and gorgeous and I’m obsessed with it

The last song you listened to: Through Me (The Flood) also by Hozier alksdaslkdhf. i’ve been obsessing so much it’s such a good song. i have maybe described listening to this song as a religious experience too many times for someone who has never had an actual literal religious experience 

Currently reading: 100 pages into the Red Dragon book and it is a trip lmfao. it’s so fun seeing the ways the dialogue was repurposed, and the prose is wow, but ohhh boy. thomas harris. babe. get help<3

Last movie: Jane Austen Book Club! i love grigg very much despite his stupid name. gonna start alternating between hugh dancy and mads’s movies bc I’ve been doing that accidentally I think lmao. Last three movies I did went like Confessions of a Shopaholic -> Charlie Countryman -> Jane Austen Book Club. but on the other hand I deeply need to watch like four hugh dancy movies as soon as possible for emotional reasons 

Craving: For it to be like a week from now so I’m healed from my wisdom teeth surgery. also to have no work or responsibilities for a month and just be able to write and read hannigram fics aslkdf. 

What are you wearing right now: this is my first time not being in pyjamas since getting the aforementioned wisdom teeth out lmfao. black pants and dark blue t-shirt

How tall are you: 5’3 </3

Piercings: love the aesthetic yet terrified of getting it done and also them catching on things. I got these clip-on gothic glow-in-the-dark dragon earrings a bit ago from a targeted instagram ad (my first and last time ever doing so) because I have zero impulse control, and they broke immediately. 

Tattoos: none, but have been microwave-spinning the concept of getting a hannibal tattoo since I watched. the heart from primavera would be so cool

Glasses? Contacts?: Glasses, my eyesight is deeply blurry without them

Last drink: classic water, big big fan of the stuff. reminds me of nbc hannibal because because there was water in the show a lot

Last show: watched two episodes of The Last of Us at like 5am yesterday, it was great. also perpetually rewatching hannibal by getting everyone I know to watch, and then watching with them

Last thing you ate: soft tofu in broth. there are, not a lot of vegan post-wisdom-tooth food options (also I’m very picky lmao), so I’ve been rotating between that, vegan ice cream, mashed potatoes, and vegetable smoothie for like 3 days. 

Favorite color: ohhh this is painful, is it a cop-out to say all of them? Big big fan of purple, orange with purple, green, and blue. 

Current obsession: it’s been hannibal and nothing else for 9 months now, and im going strong

Unrelated obsession: not sure if this counts exactly but there’s a writing app where you set a timer and start typing, and if you stop typing for longer than 5 seconds it deletes everything, and it’s so cool. I’ve been calling it stream-of-consciousness writing in my head for like a year bc it’s like a personal stream-of-consciousness even though ik that is not how to use that term alksfhd. I do 3 or 5 minute sprints and store them in one document, then have a second document where I edit and refine, and for a few I’ve put them side to side and colour-coded all my changes and it’s so fun

Any pets: two cats! Miles, my grey one, is extremely sweet, and possibly too smart for his own good. My other one Chico has a very adorable snaggle-tooth, and is incredibly stupid <3. he’s very bad at knowing what direction he’s going or recognizing any parts of the world around him and I love him very much.

Do you have a crush on anyone?: only in that vague abstract way, almost without direction, catching little wisps of the concept of the feeling from scattered bits of interactions with the world around me

Favorite fictional character: im absolutely refusing to choose between hannibal and will so im listening them both and you can’t stop me

The last place you traveled: i’ve literally gone nowhere since the pandemic started </3. i’m in Canada and the furthest I’ve been is just one city to another in the same province like 1.5 hours away. Hopefully going to Italy in the summer though!!

Tagging: @stranded-labyrinth, @valentinsylve, @elvislefilm, @disaster-vampire, @sacha-da-1, @dreamed-itself-waking, @em0fagz, @cannibaltranssexual, @hisjimct, @im-urchin, @ghostforwhat, @f0undationsofd3cay, @det395, @a-pigeons-soliloquy, @mysterist, and anyone else who wants to!

zero pressure, also i’m always v forgetful with tagging so if i missed anyone sorry and ily! 

[ngc-5194]

HIIHIHI omg im glad u liked it !!!! im gonna ramble abt my thoughts more now . yeah basically i just thought of how everyones gone through an entire YEAR of bonding together while she was sleeping and it made me feel a bit insane.! so really most of roxas’ reference points for her would be xion and nami. And speaking of namine, my idea is that eventually the seasalt trio settled into the old mansion and nami joined them, bc shed rather be with the people shes closest to over ppl in radient garden shes had a troubled history with. not to mention her (closest equivalent to a) somebody in a familiar voluntary year long coma for memory reasons. … also . I was just thinking abt how roxas and kairi are actually kinda similar, not only in that they write but also in that they forgot their best friend, and my secret third thing that I wanted to touch on. which is that both had their lives more or less saved by sora, and i think that they would actually both be a little angry that they arent the ones saving sora in return. whispering (i think theyd both share some frustration towards riku.)

kairis issues remind roxas a lot of his and his friends issues so I think he really wants to help her .and i think kairi carries a lot of guilt about sora .while roxas knows he has to move past that to appreciate what soras given him even if hes terrified he’ll never come back

i think post riku leaving for sora is such an interesting time . i think the hope that sora could finally come home is overshadowed by the possibility of losing another friend …. a very weird time of relief and anticipation .im thinking about it

words can not express the full extent of the emotions i felt upon readin gthat snippet or this ask <3333

kairi is,,,,,, i need to dissect her and i know thats kind of what they did to her heart when she was asleep but that's just more reason why i need to do it too. she missed out on a year of people adjusting to having bodies and building friendships and bonding. by choice.she chose to do it. to look for clues on how to bring her friend back yes but still,,,,,, and not only would roxas' only points of reference for kairi be naminé and xion from that year kairi missed but also before too!! they had one (1) conversation and while admittedly roxas only kind of had maybe 2-3 with naminé they were... a little more relevant to him i guess. but also roxas views kairi through the lense of mostly xion and then naminé. most people look at it the other way around. and that concept drives me Insane <33

nami and the sea salt trio living in the old mansion,,,,,,,,,, wjat if i broke down crying for ever and ever <33though maybe they. change a few parts of the basement first because. hooooo. ,,,,, wonder if naminé's drawings are still in that room there,,,,,

the roxas kairi similarities,,,,,,,,,,, and once again they're both still here doing. nothing. while riku goes off to save sora. again. how many times is that now. they can do it, they can help they can save sora too. but they almost aren't allowed to. again. because riku's going instead. again again again.

and even then it's not like they dislike riku!!!!! him leaving to go after sora is. Many emotions because on one hand it's a chance of sora coming back! on the other they can't help with it. and on another there's the possibility that they've now lost two of their friends. and roxas has done that before and it sucked and.

hmnggmgnghhhhhhh they make me incredibly mentally ill thank u for inflicting more of them upon me if you need me i'll be curled into a teeny tiny ball staring into nothing rotating the very concept of them interacting in my head at incredibly high speeds

[its-no-biggie]

what's currently rotating on the rotisserie of your brain?

hi, thank you for the ask!! i am currently in soukoku hell (in a good way) and have been since the bsd season 5 finale. its just...... everything about their dynamic makes me INSANE- the way they understand each other flawlessly and use it to deliberately push each others buttons. the way theyre direct opposites which means they perfectly cover each others weaknesses but also cannot stand each other. the fact that chuuya trusts dazai enough to ever even entertain the idea of using corruption, let alone the fact that he uses it after dazai defected from the mafia and resurfaced as his fucking enemy?????? they have so much HISTORY and theyre so in denial about how much they actually care about each other its literally the best dynamic ever

corruption is what really gets me (especially bc i just read that chapter of the manga today lol). it feels like its not enough to just say chuuya puts his life in dazais hands or risks his life in hopes that dazai will save him. its more like he throws himself off a cliff and trusts that dazai will catch him before he hits the ground. and not only has chuuya done this more than once - he does it even after dazai has given him many many reasons NOT to trust him. chuuya knows damn well that he shouldnt trust dazai, but he does anyway. and like, we dont get to see much of their history together, but that alone tells SO MUCH. especially knowing their backstories and that they clashed from the very start - that trust didnt come out of nowhere. theyve been through so much together they have absolute faith in each other but theyre so goddamn dysfunctional that all they know how to do is bicker. im going to scream

halfway through writing this i remembered that dead apple exists. dazai put an antidote in his mouth before he was poisoned because he knew chuuya would punch him in the face as soon as he found him. chuuya used corruption when dazai was PRESUMED DEAD, knowing very well that if dazai was actually dead then using corruption would be a death sentence. dazai was put into a deep sleep and then chuuya rescued him from a dragon in a castle - getting a little heavy handed with the prince charming imagery, dont we think? and then they shared the most tender dialogue theyre capable of - which means both refusing to acknowledge the fact that the only reason theyre both alive is because of their unwavering trust in each other, and fiercely denying the possibility that they could have any kind of positive or even neutral feelings toward each other. and of course lightly bullying each other. like this movie really just sums it up doesnt it. they loooove to talk about how much they hate each other but when the chips are down they would do anything for each other. fuck man

this isnt even all of it - i didnt mention anything from season 5 but this post is already long enough and its getting late. but one thing i will say - i need an au where dazai dies and chuuya has a fucked up and repressed breakdown about it. its barely more than a concept in my head but the angst...... oughhhh its so good. ill probably ramble about it properly at some point but thats all i got for now

[phoenix-before-the-flame]

PHOENIX OMG I am shaking your hand so vigorously that laxus is so cool I didn't think ur art could get any cooler but holy shit the details??the shading???? God the glowing scars bring me so much joy idek why,,,Like hand to heart I am so genuinely blown away by this (even though bald laxus is kinda cursed lol XD) I am holding this gently in my hands and incorporating this into my headcanons for laxus immediately 👍🏼

Also that's such an awesome take on his scar like!!! not only is this objectively cooler than having just one scar on his face it would also probably have been a telltale sign that there's more to him than just being a lightning mage. I also love that this would give us more insight to the actual logistics of magic in this world like showing that mages would actually struggle with learning how to wield their magic and hence scarring like that wouldn't be uncommon to see and reasonable to justify,,,just makes magic feel more real storywise yknow! Anyways that's all for now I have so many more thoughts on this that I can't articulate properly bcuz I'm still freaking out but this was hands down the best thing to wake up to thank you so much for taking the time to answer my ask and in so much detail too <33 (once again I remember why you're my favourite fairy tail artist/blog lol) have a good day!! - scar anon

Aw its no trouble at all man, really! I've been plannin on doing up the Laxus scar concept for a while now to help me down the line for my rewrite so you just gave me the opportunity to draw it earlier than planned 😅

And i take any opportunity i can get to add a lil logistics to the magic system. My goal for it isn't to make it make 100% sense ( even though i appreciate a touch of realism in fantasy every once in a while) but for it to have some weight in universe yknow? The magic's sorta surface level spread in a way to me and loosely connected to the world and its characters. Like it's such a major component but not really ingrained in a lot of things and i really like to explore that whenever im just yknow, rotating fairy tail in my head lol.

But as always man, thanks for your kindness and support! Your a real sweetheart scar anon and i appreciate it!

[silentstaresfanficandfanart]

just some funny little characters my friends and i are playing with

Tenshii (the blue haired one) is determined to do whatever he can to save as many supernatural creatures from tragic fates as possible~ he died and was brought back wrong and we decided he can just have litterally any problem you want to project on him and thats what he came back wrong as <3 its very fun <3 he suffers <3 hes trying desprately to pretend hes okay and he took on this angelic persona to help rpevent his friend snad loved ones from worrying about him and one day he will collapse if someone doesnt stop him <3 he wants to be perfect and okay no matter what and its hard on him! The girl has no name yet but shes a vampire and a video game developer and she will usually be fairly kind for a vampire but if you say no when she asks nicely if she can feed on you shes just going to hunt you anyways its really a mtater of do you want to do this the easy way or the hard way, she cant really afford the energy to not hunt a human once shes caught them. She does however have standards for what is and isint acceptable to do to a human shes hunting. She isint really very morally sound despite this. Shew ill absolutely psychologically play with someone making up some elaborate cafe meet cute slow burn romance with someone just to drink their blood and run. She and Tenshi bond both over their shared love of video games and he thinks he can fix her. theyre meant to be unhealthy- The idea of this art peice is "pov you were just about to be hunted for food but this fricking weird guy named Tenshii just showed up and interupted it and the cute vampire you were talking to is going to throw a tantrum"

the concept arts a little weird but ehhh i tried-

i think they turned out cute : ) they're meant to be interesting counterparts to each other- the gold thing on his head is actually a golden chain of some sort i think, attached to his headphones? thats the idea at least.

(headphones for reducing sensory overload-)

He had a different name before he went by tenshii but im not sure what it was now. and no spreading hate just make your personal blorbo to play with- tack on your OWN headcannons about them dont go telling people what they can and cant think about these characters okay? if you want you can, swap their gender or give them chronic illnesses or decide they should dress like a victorian gentleman, do what you wish- theyre like, blorbos for blorbing. As long as you dont sell art of them or other stuff of them without my permission and understand i own these characters just have fun, if you make anything or come up with headcannons and stuff please share them! :D id love to see them and so would the rest of the group chat! they live in like, a modern day world :) but fantasy things like vampires and werewolves are real though not widely accepted and generally are actual threats to the public and being one such thing is considered something akin to a curse/illness though the opinions vary per person feel free to play in this space with us we made them to play with them like lil dolls so feel free to put them in situations : ) just make sure to credit and tell me so me and the others in the group chat can enjoy it <3 theyre made for fun~ a little more info: The characters are all like, early 20's right now, theres a whole little organization for helping the supernatural that tenshi is a part of, vampires unafilliated with any group and has almost no friends and she got turned during the victorian era. the vibe is 'clearly anime inspired' the age is fairly modern maybe slightly further in the future. magic is real etc.

Not that i particularly expect anyone TO want to do that but like i gotta cover my bases- hope you like them! :D we've been rotating themmmm

[mewnyan]

Hope it's not too late, but "auhhh fuck my boyfriend became a concept. fuuuck hes just a metaphor for love now." for your WIP ask game 👀

a bit too late bc that happens to be the only wip that i actually managed to finish and upload 😭😭😭 (if u havent read it but know me already from one of my pseuds, the fic is uploaded on my main pseud <3)

but !! i'm still willing to babble abt it since i'd say that it's the fic that i've really put the most braincells of mine into so far LMFAO

basically it's "what if i put my blorbos into that one popular multiverse movie about a bagel?", the premise has been rotating in my head for a while now, even when i was actively writing in my previous fandom (im still planning on continuing there!! like the 3rd chapter of the l********* au is near completion before the tides of brainrot decided to drown me asdfadsd). but for some reason i didnt feel like those two would fit in that kind of scenario?? or at least, i couldnt find a plot that would make sense for them. so the idea got put in the back burner.

but then @bunny-banana sent a few tweets in our discord server and was like "makes me think of an eeaa0 au" and i went OwO (ceci if u want me to set the fic as a gift to u, i would gladly do so 🥺)

with some funky au ideas already brewing but dont have energy to research/worldbuild, i decided to shove all of them into a single thing.

the fic parallels and references a lot of events in the movie it's based on, and a lot of underlying questions can be answered (like, "why did this character decide to sacrifice themselves instead of agreeing to stay?" or "this is a direct callback to an iconic line but why does it seem off?") if u've watched the movie kinda like a little extra treat for the people who Know. but it also has its own stuff separate from the movie. i didnt use the bagel/googly eye duality because the characters are White and it wont make sense to center it in a uniquely asian philosophy. instead i used cloth/thread to tie it all up (hehe) and reading that the costumes incorporated traditional lace just sealed the deal for me

[jackienautism]

fire emblem update part three!! i played a BUNCH yesterday and am probably going to finish my first playthrough tonight!! update on character opinions - while my overall ranking of the eagles hasn't changed, i will say that both linhardt and ferdinand have gotten sooo much more special to me post timeskip. similar thing happened with hubert actually, where i like him even more but he's staying in the same spot on my rankings.

DOROTHEA IS MAKING ME SO EMOTIONAL POSTSKIP like. ending the war For Her <333 she and bernie and caspar are still my besties in the whole world. this getting redundant but. i am LOVING bernie postskip. caspar too! i got all of his supports with petra since my last ask and im rotating them in my head they are so interesting to me. actually i had really not gotten too many supports between characters by my last ask and i've been trying to get the ones im most interested in currently and like. i am rotating these guys and their dynamics in my head they are sooo interesting to me. sooo mad bernie and petra don't have an a support </3 i want more of them.

im trying my best to avoid killing any of the former allies. so far i've avoided killing ignatz, let seteth and flayn run away, recruited lysithea, avoided killing hilda, and spared claude. had to kill leonie bc she would not stop killing caspar and bernie no matter what i did. and i killed alois.

little bit sad that i'm missing out on the potential angst this playthrough of having like... only one blue lion kill the rest but. there's always another playthrough! i'm def gonna play all the routes (although honestly i'm gonna have a tough time on the church path.... idk it's one thing to fight edie without being closer to her but it's gonna feel sooo bad to like. directly betray her) but i'm probably gonna replay CF being a little more careful with who i recruit from a story standpoint.

semi related but MAN im LOVING the edelgrid posting im thinking about them soooo hard rn. anyway. on to finish the playthrough! already plotting my next playthrough which is gonna be VW. sort of considering who i want to recruit for that one bc so many of my favorites are in the black eagles so for maximum angst potential i should recruit one or maybe two. but who to pick.... or maybe im lying bc maximum angst would just be killing them all. and then at the same time. what if i just decided to save as many people as possible. what then. minimum angst.

anyway! im going to be thinking about these characters forever now. this game is basically the perfect storm in terms of media that's gonna have me thinking about it for a while (big cast with interesting concepts that could definitely be dug into way deeper, and tons of possible dynamics to think about) so. thank you for your posting about it because i found myself suddenly with an abundance of unscheduled free time and i am. definitely enjoying it now! also side note but i lovee how so many of these characters come with adorable nicknames. i love calling them like. bernie and hubie and edie like yessss those are my besties <333333

YIOPPEEEEE OHHH GOOD FOR YOU GOOD FOR YOU... IM SO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT YOURE CLOSE TO FINISHING YOUR FIRST FIRE EMBLEM PLAYTHROUGH EVER HEHE and maybe even by now you may have finished it? but regardless, super happy for you my friend<3 AND RIIIGHT,.. THEY JUST GROW ON YOU POST TIMESKIP... sooo glad the same happened w/ ferdie and hubie for you! next time you check in you def have to submit or create your Official black eagles ranking! id love to see!!!

DOROTHEA IS SOOOOOO GOOD AND FULLL OF ANGST POST TIMESKIP AAAGH YEAH. THATS WHY SHES SO SPECIAL 2 ME.... THE ARC W/ HER DEPRESSION IS JUST.... GOSH. so gladyou're ending the war for her aand only her<333 i support that sentiment 10000% i still have to go through the black eagles supports w/ each other (i enjoy getting them myself... hence why i dont just watch them on youtube or smth. plus i havent played through crimson flower in a looong while) but im SOOO happy youve been enjoying tjhe characters and the dynamics between each of them! fire emblem is especiallly good w/ writing stuff like that. and they def did not fall short in this ggame! so i unfortunately cant comment too much on individual stuff but im glad you like the supports<3 ALL OFD THE CHARACTERS DESERVE A SUPPORTS TBH!!!!!! luckily im pretty sure there are more supports in three hopes so if youre interested for more content you can always loook them up on youtube :o

understand why youd try your best to avoid killing former classmates,def makes it a bit more difficult but ): it's super fucked up, especially in the perspective of the characters. the angst potential is sooo good but sometimes i am Weak of Heart. so im glad to hear that you were able to spare / recruit most of them! rip to leonie and alois though. i defunderstand alois bc wasnt he abt to do some shit during the battle for the monastery? makes sense why youd need / want to get rid of him asap

FDJGDFBG GLAD THAT YOURE LOOKING FORWARD TO THE POTENTIAL ANGST????? did you only recruit sylvain and ingrid this route? or were you able to recruit felix as well? sorry i remember you saying you liked felix but i cant remember if you recruited him or not! but yeah im sure the crimson flower!blue lions is esp....... hard for them. considering that 3 of them were close friends w/ dimitri as children. but thats whats so GOOD about it..... there's so much angst in that alone. ouugh what are your plans for a future crimson flower route regarding the blue lions :o? BUT YEAH. SILVER SNOW (THE CHURCH ROUTE) IS GONNA BE ROUGH LMAO I DONT WANNA GO AGAINST / BETRAY EDIE LET ALONE THE REST OF THE BLACK EAGLES.... its gonna be tough but we'll make it through </3 that is why i am putting it off for as longas possible👍

HEHEH SO GLAD YOUVE ENJOYED ME GOING BATSHIT OVER EDELGARD / INGRID. SOMETHING SPOKE TO ME AND THEY JSUT..... GOD. YEAH. HAPPY YOU UNDERSTAND. fdjndfg i totally understand that want to like. get as painful as possible but for me personally. whille i HATE separating the black eagles from edie. i just cant be without them and kill them in battle i jusr CANT .... so props to you for wanting to do that! i will sauy though theres alreyad enough angst surrounding edie and hubie if you choose to save everyone else in the BE.... it just. it fucked me up, so have fun in VW<3 good luck w./ the rest of crimson flower if you stilll havent finished and verdant wind when you get to it :D!!!!

<3333 SO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT MY SILLY POSTING AND MUSINGS GOT YOU TO PLAY AND THEREFORE ENJOY THE GAME!!!!!! MY WORK HERE IS CERTAINLY DONE... also happy that this new piece of media gave you more shit to think about<3 theres def a bunch to think about in terms of three houses man...... AND RIIIGHT THE NICKNAMES ARS SOC UTE..... ADN THEF ACT MOST OF THEM CAME FROM DOROTHEA ALONE MAKES ME SO ........ GOD . GIOD.