#im really really gonna try and keep this one going

[merchelsea]

the crash — logan sargeant

pairing: logan sargeant x girlfriend!russell!reader

summary: logan had an horrible crash and this is basically how you (and your brother) got through it.

author’s note: i was in the middle of writing this when i got the news. coudn't write anything else after, but could never finish it. until today. im still not okay, logan girlie till i die. also can you guys tell i absolutely love writing about logan?

word count: 1.4k

requested?: yes.

warnings: a crash, unconcious logan, sadness, angst, cursing

masterlist | request rules (closed)

fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck.

your mind was completely blank as you watched you brother get out of his own car to run to logan's.

shit. it was the worst crash you had watched in your whole life. and you had been around this cars for the most of it.

you couldn't move, seeing your boyfriend's car upside down, smoke coming out of it like it would do on your chimneys home at christmas eve. but this smoke didn't make you feel comforted, it did the opposite.

you could breath, but barely. and you hardly managed to let tears slip from your eyes. it was all too much, way too much.

but it was when you heard george scream for logan's name that something suddenly snapped. logan wasn't responding.

your legs started moving on their own and you found yourself trying to run to the track. a mercedes crew member had to hold you to keep you from doing so, and the most painful screams left your throat as you fought against it.

marcus, george's race engineer, came to you as he saw your state.

"hey, mini one, it's gonna be okay. it's gonna be okay." he kept repeating.

you couldn't believe him, and god, you were trying hard to.

"look, he's out of the car." he pointed to the screen, you calmed down a little to try and see him clearly, your blurry eyes making it hard. your brother held one of his arms, a member of the medical team holding the other.

with tears still storming out of your eyes, you saw your brother leave him at the medical car and run towards the pits, to then come to the garage.

george ran because he knew you were probably going out of your mind, and he needed to give you some comfort, but also because he needed to get, at least, an id so he could go with logan to the hospital.

as soon as marcus saw the driver, he let go of you. your brother soon catching you in a much more comforting embrace.

"he's okay. he's alive." george whispered to you. a sigh escaping your lips as you heard it. "i'm going with him to the hospital, carmen's on her way, she will drive you there once you-"

"no, no, no, no. i need to go see him." you said, as you pulled away from him. your eyes displayed pure pain and anxiety, and it was so hard for your brother to fight you back in that moment. he could only imagine what it would be like if this was his girlfriend, but he knew he was doing the right thing.

"you are not okay right now, y/n. i'm going."

"but he's my-" he interrupted you, knowing that he would give in the second you started talking about how much you loved logan.

"it's not up to discussion. carmen shouldn't take long, she'll drive you there as soon as you're more collected." he tells you, and you open your mouth to argue again, but he's faster. "think about it, logan's gonna need you at your best. you will do him no good showing up looking miserable."

he was right, so right it made you angry. you needed to see your boyfriend, you needed to see with your own eyes that he was okay. but you nodded to your big brother, leaving him a quick kiss in the cheek before storming out to the toilets.

george quickly went for an identification and left the garage again. as he reached the medical centre everything was ready to take logan to a proper hospital. he was now awake, but still dizzy and confused.

he got in the car and logan looked at him, confused, before passing out again.

george's mind rushed to the moment you told him about logan. you and your brother had a really good relationship, and you felt pretty comfortable in telling him everything. of course that he was still a lot protective over you, but he trusted your judgement and kept out of your love life.

so when you told him logan asked you to be his girlfriend, he showed you nothing but support. but logan told you later, that your brother actually gave him a word.

george remembered every single interaction between you and logan and felt desperate about the idea of you losing your boyfriend. it was clear how much you liked each other, and sargeant was the only guy he wanted for his sister. the only one he ever thought was good enough for his other half.

was when carmen called him, telling him that you were still not okay to come, that he came back to reality. the american had already been taken away for testing and george was on his own by the waiting room.

soon enough they called his name, updating him about his brother-in-law's state and telling him he could go ahead and meet him.

george opened the door to logan's room and was recieved by terrified eyes. he heard a relieved sigh and chuckled softly.

"mate, i thought it was your sister." the american weakly whispered. "don't want her to see me like this."

the older russell could only smile to the young driver.

"she's with carmen, i thought it might be a good idea to let her calm down before she saw you." sargeant simply nodded to the brit's words, feeling relieved he had thought it all through for her well being. that was his main goal aswell.

"how are you feeling, man?" george asked. "could be better, to be fair." logan remarked. "i don't feel too much pain, but i am as disappointed as i could be." the older one shook his head, taking a seat next to your boyfriend.

"you shouldn't feel like that. i've talked to alex about the car, he tells me that sometimes it feels undrivable." he points out, looking at his face to take note of the big bruise. "but let's not talk about that, hm? how are th-"

he is interrupted by the buzz of his phone. logan could read carmen's name on the screen.

"hey, look i tried but she really isn't changing her mind. she needs to see him. we're on our way." the spanish tells him. he doesn't have time to answer cause the woman had already hang up.

"stubborn as always." he jokes to logan, who just smiles, still worried about her reaction to his state.

the both drivers continued talking, this time about food, until they heard the door opening suddenly. you abruptly moved to get closer to logan, eyes watering at the sight of his beautiful bright blue eyes, that were watering too, while carmen slowly walked over to her own boyfriend.

"hi." logan simply said, a single tear rolling down his cheek while he smiled up at you. "hi," your whisper came out broken. "are you okay?"

you asked as the first tear came down your eyes. you looked at the marks the crash had left on his face. "i think so. your brother knows better than i do, though."

you both look over at george, who hugged carmen sideways, the older couple looking at you with worry in their eyes.

"he should be fine, they are still running exams to be completely sure, but until now, nothing we should worry about. just a little bruise ruining his pretty face." you nod and take your hand up to his face, your thumb lining the bruise near his forehead. it was big, but it was a miracle he came out of that car with only that.

george points to the door, indicating they're giving you two some time and space.

"george," logan called out. the man turned around to look at your boyfriend. "thank you for everything, mate." your brother smiled down. "it was nothing, brother." he said before closing the door to the room.

logan turned to you with a silly smile "if a crash was all i needed to get along with your brother i would've done it sooner." he smiled as you closed your face, not even the slightest of smiles evident on it.

"don't joke about this. i nearly died while watching, never do that again." you commanded, but he knew you were asking him with all your heart to make sure to be safe. "i can promise you i'll try."

his soft smile made you want to burst into tears, but you managed to compose yourself. you just rolled your eyes and sarcastically smiled. "idiot."

© merchelsea

if you'd like to be tagged in any of my future works, let me know ;)

[mojitomatt]

Risky

summary: you and chris are left together in the car…alone

Content warning: chris x fem reader, public sex (kinda), quickie, p in v, penetration, smut with little plot, hair pulling, creampie, unprotected sex (just wrap it)

Authors note: this one is only short. Sorryyy. This isnt proof read. Also send requests in my inbox!! Its always open, love Liss 🤍

We’re in the backseat of his brother’s car but, God, when my boyfriend is looking at me so needily, can you really blame me?

My legs are on either side of Chris’, his head is thrown back against the headrest as he pounds mercilessly into me. I have to grip the seats for stability because im sure if i don’t i would collapse from the euphoric feeling of Chris buried in me.

“Gotta be quick, baby..” Chris mumbles between breathy whimpers. His hands are gripping my hips so hard im sure it will bruise but the sheer eroticism of this moment makes up for it.

His cock is sloppily moving in and out of me and my gummy walls are clenched around him so tightly im surprised it isnt hurting him. Pleasure is coursing through me from my head to my toes.

We know his two brothers could come back any moment and find us like this so we are making it quick.

Chris is twitching uncontrollably inside of me, a melody of moans and whimpers leaving his perfect mouth. His warm seed spurts inside of me, the pressure of it nearly enough to make me come undone. Chris keeps moving at the same pace but this time he is kissing and nipping at my breasts. His hand travels up my back to my hair, grabbing a fistful of it and yanking my head back. The pain mingles with pleasure making a wince fade into a pornographic moan.

With the now open access to my neck, he hungrily sucks and kisses the skin like its his last meal, “oh, baby.” He groans against my sticky skin.

“i-…’m gonna-” i try to talk but my mind is fried from the rapture.

“Go ahead, angel.” Chris says. I clench around his length. His cock annihilating my sweet spot sends me over the edge making me come undone all over him. My moans make chris finish inside of me for the second time tonight.

I melt into him, our panting, sticky bodies just lay together for a few moments. “You did so good, babe, but we have to clean you up before nick and matt come back.” Chris mumbles.

I agree and chris cleans me up with a few tissues which he shoves into his pockets. “Gross.” I laugh as I get back into my clothes.

“What else should i do with it? Ill put it in the trash at home.” Chris smiles.

[lexirosewrites]

For SS, CW: dubious consent on both sides, universe said youre so compatible you gonna fuck :) ; fingers crossed this is cohesive cause im just winging it lol

I was going through my old phone notes, and found a wip i forgot about for another fandom. The plot was basically a weird mix of abo/soulmate au lol Basically the secondary genders have slowly been fading from society, people still present but they dont change life anymore. Heats/Ruts arent a thing anymore really. Male omegas have only a .2% chance of getting pregnant on a regular basis but they can take pills to increase this chance.

Ruts/heats do still happen, but the reason is thought to be a fairytale. When extremely compatible alphas/omegas meet and spend time together (like at least a week actually interacting not just being Near one another) the omegas body will begin to produce slick and prep them for taking a knot. By day 5 the alpha is being bombarded by omega pheromones and their body preps to form a knot. If for any reason the omega/alpha are separated, the process pauses to keep some random alpha from taking advantage from the omega.

When O!Steve and A!Eddie spend spring break together dealing with Vecna Steve's body starts to adjust and prepare but the cramping and pain he assumes is just the bat bites. He hasnt looked at them to see that his body has essentially sped up the healing to prepare for mating. Theyre still wounds but not as bad.

Eddie survives with bites similar to Steves but a bit deeper, theyre separated and the process pauses while Eddie is in the hospital along with Steve both of them getting treatment. Once theyre both out though, the process starts again and they keep drawing closer to one another, confused by the urge, and on Day 7, they lock themselves in Steves room and they lose themselves in the scents. Mating for days until they finally come out of the fog.

Eddie showers and cleans first, cleaning up the room best he can before he runs a bath and then scoops up a very confused, exhausted, and sleepy omega to settle him into a bath. Steve melts and Eddie settles near the tub so they can talk. Trying to understand what happened. Eddie had read books about it, but fully believed it was a fairytale. He feels extremely guilty but Steve grips his wrist and tells Eddie that they were both forced into this and he doesnt hold it against him just for knowing it was in a book and didnt catch on. It happened way too quickly for them to even figure it out.

They work backwards. Mating first and then beginning to date and getting to know one another more than they had bothered during the spring break from hell. They both fall in love way too quickly but are idiots and dont admit it to the other for Months.

We know Steve is a hopeless romantic so learning he basically found his soulmate in Eddie, he's been in love with him since he learned it was preordained by the damn universe lol They have a proper mating near a year later and they discuss Steve taking the pills to have a family and it takes the very first try. They chalk it up to the soulmate thing and Steve is ecstatic about being pregnant. They welcome their little girl on Thanksgiving day 1987 and live happily ever after :D

Sorry this was long, wow lol

loveeeee the universe forcing soulmates together🥰 why wait to mate? just skip that pesky little courting step and you can back pedal after bites are in place!

[bougiebutchbinch]

AOB AU where Logan, much like real wolverines, has multiple life mates, and so far, he has a little harem of Omega Wade who he raises "kits" with, Omega Morph, and Beta Kurt (who dosn't even need bred he just used to help Logan out with his ruts and they never broke up once Logan found his omegas)

And he alternates them, scheduling each of their dick appointments weeks in advance of their heats. Sometimes, Morph can trick their heat by morphing into an alpha, but if their alpha is around, they can't mea while Kurt dosn't have heats and is just kinda here for some extra fun and the cuddle piles that accure during Logan's Ruts, when they all hunker down in the bedroom and kurt is sent to teleport supplies in.

For the most part, it's just Logan taking turns pounding them, letting the others watch and growling at them if they get too close. Their hierarchy is pretty basic on who gets mounted first. It goes Wade, Kev, and then Kurt.

Wade has to go first to get all of Logans feralness out and because if not, Wade gets too jealous and growls at kevin while theyre being bred, which ultimately leads to Logan having to snarl at him to behave and be patient.

Wade is all up for sharing but he wants to be the dominant bitch. This isn't really an issue for Kev since they have a lot of anxiety and insecurity, being in heat makes it way worse.

It's not that Wade has an issue sharing his Alpha its just that he's the 'alpha' omega and by the time hes fucked out and filled, if anything he tries to nuzzle them all. Once in a good while Logan will allow Kurt to mount kev while hes dealing with wades bratty ass, having to constantly reclaim him because of how quickly his marking heals.

By the end of it Logan snuggles them all in the huge 'den' he made out of smelly clothes and the bloody matress. It's a purr fest from there on out, passing a cigar around and chugging water.

It makes Logan to happy to see his omegas (and beta) satisfied and getting along.

The kits in question being foster kittens and puppies from the shelter, Or Bamfs if they're isn't a healthy litter old enough for raising.

Logan will keep them in the den, carrying them around and growling if wade tries to play too rough with them, sometimes dragging wade to his "kits" and forcing him to stay there while he hunts for him COUGH makes dinner COUGH.

Puppins is excited either way, being gentle with them but sometimes getting jealous if her papa doesn't give her equal attention.

Once the litter is old enough to be adopted out, Wade has to give him the "They're big enough to go without us now" talk and watch as their "kits" go to different families.

By then, when all the "kits" get adopted, it throws Logan into another rut. Because good wolverine dads usually always have at least one litter to look after.

In between litters, his other kits being "too old" dosn't stop him from trying to put gabby laura and Puppins in a nest too when they visit.

"Dad stop you're being weird."

"I just want to make sure you're safe."

"You're being drimatic!"

"You need to rest >:("

"Im an adult now I don't need to-"

"Get in the fucking blankets!"

"Litsen to your father pumpkin or else he's just gonna be pouty all night about it." Wade chimes in with a sigh.

She rolls her eyes, sitting in the stupid blanket pile, and Logan is the happiest thing on earth, cuddling all his babies and slicing anyone who comes near them.

Logan and his kits, even if they're already 24>>>>>>

HOLLERS

HOLY SHIT YOU CANNOT DO THIS TO MEEEEEE I just scraped together the energy to crawl outta bed and make food...... now i gotta brace myself on the kitchen counter like I'm having a medical event lol

ThIS GOT ME GOOD!!!! FERAL DAD WOLVIE MY BELOVED... TOP BITCH WADE (at least, he thinks he is)......

Also love the idea that Wade Goes First because he GAGS for Logan getting violent with him... so, when Logan's in full Feral Horny Stabby mode, he can bite Wade and fold him in half in ways that would genuinely HURT anyone else - even Kurt's flexible ass! - and Wade is just drooling and moaning and egging him on... Once Logan's fucked the snarling Alpha-rage out of his system, he can move into fluffy softe mode with his other partners..... and with Wade, ofc! He gets SOOOOO snuggly and warm.... like he's still growly and claiming whenever they wiggle, but he's full of purrs........

GOD I LOVE THIS SILLY LITTLE FAMILY

[rafesfavouritegirl]

there's super little sub!rafe content on here , so if you're down for that , i'd live to read it

submission⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

summary: rafe has been feeling a little needy lately, and instead of him doing the work in bed, he wants you to be dom!

warnings: smut, sub!rafe

notes: hope you enjoy! it’s a little short unfortunately

you and rafe were lying in bed, rafe laying ontop of you with his head buried against your chest, and you just sitting watching the tv with your hands raking through his hair

rafe shifted, letting out a slight whine as he began to get restless. “what’s wrong, baby?” you asked softly, your eyebrows furrowing in concern as you sat up a bit, making his head lift off your chest

“i don’t know, jus’ restless” he murmured, the vague answer making you wonder. he’d been really clingy and needy lately, and you just didn’t know why. until it clicked in your head that sex had been off the table for a bit, so maybe that’s why

“do you wanna…have sex?” you asked, making his head lift to look at you fully. he seemed hesitant, taking a deep breath before speaking. “uh, yeah. but can we try something?” he asked, his fists clenching nervously at his sides

you narrowed your eyes for minute before nodding, letting him speak again. “can you uh, can you dom me?” he asked softly, looking down slightly as he waited for your answer

you smiled softly, finding it a little funny he’d been so restless just because all we wanted was for you to dom him. “of course, you should’ve told me sooner” you said, making rafe peak up fully

all rafe was doing was whining in response, the boy completely lost in ecstasy as his needs were being being met beyond what he had in mind. you were squeezing him deliciously, praising him so perfectly he thought he was dreaming

“fuck rafe, doing so good” you moaned. your hands gently tousling his hair. you never thought something like this would feel so good for the both of you, but right now, you had never felt better. “that’s it baby, keep whining” you encouraged, causing rafe to whine a little louder

you felt a warmth pool into your stomach, a sign your orgasm was catching up to you. you upped your pace, giving hard and fast bounced as you chased that so needed climax. “gonna cum soon” you warned rafe, gently tugging his hair

“i-im gonna cum too” rafe whimpered, the clench and fluttering of your pussy driving him over the edge. it only took another couple of bounced before rafe came, his warm semen spurting into your womb so pleasantly. you followed along, letting out a whimper yourself as you gave one final bounce

you collapsed onto him, both of you catching your breath after two mind blowing orgasms. “you did so good baby, really happy you suggested that” you said softly, lifting his head up so you could pepper kisses over his flushed face

you lifted yourself off, going to the bathroom and grabbing a cloth to clean you both up. when you came back, rafe was sprawled on the bed, still in a slight haze

you cleaned him up, as well as yourself before crawling into bed beside him, letting him curl up into your side as you both fell into a well needed sleep

[skekthesilly]

sprunki lore according to my sisters (i have not seen sprunki at all and i think they might be lying to me) (theyre just making up a story at this point and im rolling with it) PART: 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

very silly story under the cut:

black had a really bad day. he stubbed his toe, fell, spilled his coffee, and had an annoying ass conversation with wenda. black is so pissed at wenda that he punches her. apparently, black was holding a hypnotization bracelet so when he punched wenda the bracelet shook around and hypnotized her, causing her to snatch said bracelet from him and punching the latter - hypnotizing him as well. now they are both hypnotized and crazy.

this is why they are evil and killed a bunch of people - except wenda didnt kill grey because wenda loves him, and black didnt kill jevin because black loves him.

apparently. according to my sisters.

pinki was going to get a tattoo from black at a tattoo store. black was going to tattoo a skull with the words "bye bye" to pinki's forehead, but accidentally ripped her face off.

fun bot also punched wenda and black in the faces, in an attempt to un-hypnotize them. it did not work, because they did not have the hypnotization bracelet. black and wenda got angry and chased fun bot until they lost sight of them.

wenda didn't give simon enough food, so he decided to eat brud instead. after eating brud, simon was satiated.

mr. fun computer was dying, and said that he needed battery. so jevin, who was conveniently right next to him, plugged in a charger but it was the wrong charger. this turned mr. fun computer into a catboy, and made him chase jevin all around the room (because theyre in a house for some reason). so jevin ran out of the house that they were both in and teamed up with grey for shelter, because grey was hiding from wenda. but before they found shelter, black killed oren.

grey and jevin are in a forest trying to survive. grey is stressing out and babbling nonsense until jevin interrupts grey by saying "just shut up and kiss me already!" they fall in love and make out passionately. (note: THIS STATEMENT RIGHT HERE HAS TURNED ME INTO A GREY X JEVIN SHIPPER AND I CANNOT GO ONE SECOND WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT THEM KISSING. CURSE YOOOOUUUU RAAAAAGGHHHHH........... GETS BLASTED WITH YAOI BEAM.....)

raddy was pretending to be jesus. wenda got so mad at him that she nailed raddy to a cross, jesus-style. wenda then asked simon to eat half of raddy's body. suddenly, simon choked on brud's bucket (which had apparently been stored in his stomach and somehow got regurgitated) and passed out.

mr. sun was going to get a tattoo from black at a tattoo store. black says "okay but you need to burn down the forest and everyone in it first" and mr. sun agrees. after the deed is done, mr. sun gets a tattoo on their left eye.

however, pinki (who was apparently in the forest) survives the forest fire, along with grey and jevin. grey and jevin fled to a different forest when the saw mr. sun burning the first forest down.

vineria was in the second forest looking for food, but then she mistook plant food for normal food, so she ate it and felt really sick but she ate it anyways because she thought it was still food. she went to sleep, and the next morning her eyes were hurting a lot. she said "omg it feels like my eyes are gonna pop out" and guess what? they did. she then realized too late that the "normal food" was dangerous plant food, but by the time she realized this, the weird growth stuff in her insides were growing and reaching her brain, making her pass out. she died shortly after.

sky saw all the craziness happening everywhere and tried to find grey and jevin. but while they were running, they stepped on a booby trap and metal pipes burst out of the trap and impaled them, causing them to die.

(guess were switching to present tense now lmao)

grey and jevin are wandering in the forest when they find an abandoned house. inside, they find a shovel and keep it for defense in case something bad happens. they decide to stay in the abandoned house.

a day later, while grey and jevin are searching for food, they see sky's dead carcass and go "man. we should bury them." so they bury them using the shovel they found.

wenda and black are searching for weapons when they stumble upon an abandoned house (not the same house that grey and jevin are in). turns out that the abandoned house is actually tunner's house, and wenda finds a gun, cowboy boots, a cowboy hat, and cowboy clothes. she decides to wear the clothes and keep the gun, and is so intoxicated with the idea of being a cowgirl (she's always wanted to be a cowgirl) that she goes out into the forest, finds tunner, and shoots him because she wants to be the only cowgirl in sprunkiland and doesnt want any other cowgirls or cowboys to live.

wenda then gets really hot outside so she takes the cowboy clothes off.

a few minutes later, black is bored and wants to do something, so he goes "hey wenda. wanna see something cool???" and she goes "yeah sure." so black uses magic (which he apparently has for some reason) and magically revives all the dead sprunkis into evil zombies. wenda goes "woah. thats cool. can you control them?" and black goes "nah. lol. lmao. i cant control them" and wenda goes "omg bro youre so STUPID....... were LITERALLY GONNA DIE..... theyre like UNDEAD ZOMBIES NOW.......theyre NOT GONNA DIE ANYMORE........ bRO........" and black is like "haha. lol. i was bored. lmao. tee hee." he has no fear of consequences.

grey and jevin are still in the second forest, still hiding out in the abandoned house they found, but then clukr walks into the house (grey and jevin haven't locked the door because, in my sister's words: "theyre dumb") and for some reason they just dont notice clukr. but its because hes being quiet. they continue not noticing until clukr reaches the second floor (the house has a second floor and grey and jevin are on the second floor). then jevin goes "omg is that wenda" and brings out the shovel (he cant see clukr very well because its dark outside ((the lights barely work inside, theyre trying to conserve power)) ), but grey goes "wait thats clukr thats my semi-pookie clukr" (hes kinda basically a cat. like i know its canon that hes not a cat but me and my sister have decided that he is now a demon who looks like a cta. whatever. he has night vision too) and jevin goes "hmmmm. hmm.... hrmmm..... okay. whatever. sure ig."

but black was watching everything that was happening while holding a grey and jevin detector blessed upon him by mr. sun, and a chainsaw blessed upon him by mr. fun computer. black floats to the second floor back window (he has magic) and throws the chainsaw into the window, aiming for grey and jevin. jevin quickly deflects the chainsaw with the shovel but it bounces off directly into clukr's head, slicing it.

clukr is just introduced and then literally immediately dies like 5 seconds later. justice for clukr

anyways because of the magic that turns dead sprunkis into evil zombies, clukr dies but is immediately revived and is evil now. clukr then tries to attack both grey and jevin but clukr cant see very well thru his giant cymbal head and jevin just starts repeatedly beating up clukr with the shovel. yaaaaayyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

now clukr is dizzy, but grey is freaking out and goes "we need to get outta here NOW" so he grabs jevin's hand and runs out the broken back second story window and gets cut up by all the broken glass, but he doesn't see black at the window and rams head-first straight into his stomacg. like. REALLy hard. so them black got a really bad stomachache and went spinning off into the distance while grey and jevin fell down the second story all the way down to the ground. and. note this. take notes of this.

after falling, grey and jevin are NOT INJURED. at ALL. not injured by the fall at the sLIGHTEST. but then they immediately pass out once they reach the bottom. like they literally jump out the window, are perfectly fine, and just ragdoll once they touch the ground. roblox style. like they just jump out and go "yippee!!! yahoo!!!!!" and land on the ground UNSCATHED and just. "uuuurrghhhhh!!!!!! passes out on the ground"

anyways my sister said that grey landed on all fours (like the totally awesome demon cat that he is) and is perfectly ok and has like a whole two seconds of being conscious until he just randomly ragdolls roblox-style on the ground. then jevin is about to fall to the ground beside him also perfectly ok, but in midair his body is just. magically teleported on top of grey??? and he falls on grey and he just passes out after?????? i have no clue just roll with it chat

anyways fun bot sees both their unconscious bodies at the back of the house and brings them to their secret underground base. jevin wakes up first in one of the beds in the base and fun bot notices and says "did you know that you passed out on top of grey.... thats kinda gay. thats kind of gay of you to do that"

jevin says "uhhhh no??? i didnt do that???? wtf???"

and fun bots like "yeah you did. i saw it with my own two robotic eyes. i saw it. i would not lie to you. you passed out on top of grey yaoi-style. i saw it"

and then grey woke up and was like "omg!!! where am i"

and fun bot goes "dw youre safe youre not gonna die by that weird creepy catboy mr. fun computer"

and jevin was like "oh yeah i remember he turned into a catboy and chased me all around the room"

and fun bot says "we gotta stop black and wenda. did you know that theyre hypnotized? i tried to un-hypnotize them but i need the magic bracelet black had and unfortunately its destroyed so i cant un-hypnotize them until we fix it"

grey hears something in the base and goes "uhhhhh.... is there other people down here?????"

fun bot says "oh yeah pinki and brud are here too idk how they survived but they did"

and grey's like "o. wow. so like. can we see em. like can we see how theyre doing"

and fun bot's like "yeah ok sure"

so grey and fun bot go deeper into the base to find pinki. once they find them pinki goes "omg!!!! hi!!!!! how are you!!!!!" but its kinda garbled bc like. she has no lips

and greys like "omg wtf happened to your face"

and pinkis like "oh yeah i got my face ripped off. btw if you wanna find brud hes at the cafeteria. straight ahead"

and greys like "ok"

so grey and fun bot go to the cafeteria and they see brud there and bruds like "ae"

and then hes like "omg!!!!!! is that wenda and black!!!!!! 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱"

and greys like "no???? its me and fun bot"

and bruds like "who"

and greys like "ok. whatever. at least youre still alive"

and fun bots like "ok chat we should go find the pieces of the magic bracelet. theres six pieces scattered across sprunkiland. also btw brud you should stay here bc i feel like you are absolutely going to die if you take one step outside of this base"

then fun bot goes to the area pinki is in and asks her "yo pinki wanna help us find the magic bracelet that will un-hypnotize black and wenda" and pinki goes "yeah sure but first you gotta fix my face bro this sucks" and fun bots like "man. i only have bandages and medicine. not skin grafts. i also have toilet paper to wipe off all the blood n yucky stuff from your face. you should take the bandages n the toilet paper. i dont think youll need the medicine bc like. im 99% sure youre not sick. actually take it just in case. oh and we need coats. it cold outside"

and pinki goes "ok lemme put on my coat rq. man. i miss my husband oren, fun bot. i miss him a lot."

and greys like "ok..... uh.... lets go get jevin. i dont think he needs a coat, he has his hood already"

so they walk to the area where jevin is in and once they find him they notice jevin has found a surplus of guns. hes like "yo check out these awesome guns i found. fun bot why didnt you tell us about this" and grey goes "vro..... youre literally going to kill yourself put those guns down.... do you even know how to use them" and jevin stares at grey with his big round sopping wet gay eyes and goes "pleade. were gonna need them" and grey goes ".....ok. sure. ok. dont shoot yourself" and jevin goes "um. well you see" and shows a comically perfect bullet hole that you can see straight through, and the bullet hole is IN HIS STOMACH. and my sister made a note of emphasizing that he is PERFECTLY FINE AND NOT IN ANY PAIN AND THERE IS NO BLOOD ANYWHERE. and he is just FINE. he is just JIGGY WITH IT. and he goes "yo grey can i have those bandages youre holding" and hes like "omg. jevin. you. you literally. ok. sure"

so jevin covers the bullet hole with bandages but then brud bursts into the room and goes "whERES THE BATHROON!!!!! i nEED to Take A Dump™️" and fun bot says "ok. go straight, turn a left, straight again, to the right, go in the elevator, 2nd floor, then go straight, turn right, up the left stairs, third door to the right, and you'll find the bathroom :)"

and bruds like "ok 🤤" and bashes straight through the wall

and fun bots like "okay. well. we need to get another thing-" and pinki goes "i know what it is!!!!!!!!!" and pinki runs out of the room and after a whole 10 minutes she brings a wHOLE ENTIRE ELEPHANT INTO THE ROOM. and shes standing on the elephant and she says "alright!!!! were ready to go now!!!!!"

so they exit out of the secret base. with the elephant

PART 2 COMIG SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- my sister

[rotruff]

hi hi rb with an f/o and i'll assign them a pokemon team. again.

extra info is appreciated but not required !! i'll do a max of 3 ... can also do s/is if so desired . do whatever you want forever and ever ..

proship + adjacent dni

[melatien]

tiny yoichi (unwillingly) lures out soldiers by being his helplessness little self so his brother can strike

[paingoes]

ohmygodohmygodohhmygod

thank you so much for letting me ramble im literally gonna go through point by point

ooo this was not an intentional reference to the castle exactly, but it is the same point about the weapons being seen as expendable :D its also meant to foreshadow paris’s (and to an extent, delta’s) concern about lorelai. cause lorelai is out there actually fighting.

yesyesyes. paris has insane anger issues but particularly like. an uncontrollable violence trigger. this is what makes him defective. the living weapon training took too well (re: he’s extremely traumatized from it and cant control his triggers.) and lol paris also wishes johanna didnt heal so fast. 

in the same vein paris genuinely isnt trying to be disobedient here. he only snapped when jo insulted delta, not when she said anything about him personally. he’s legitimately trying to follow his programming but hes overreacting to a non-threat because his programming is fucking busted and makes him hypervigilant

yeah delta was pissed off here. paris just embarrassed him really bad and he wanted him to feel helpless for a second to make up for it. just a second :)

hehe yes !!! rug pull!!! i bet when i said roleswap au you would expect paris to be defiant as a whumpee but he….really isnt. more on this later.

delta only ever kills martino with his bare hands, out of absolute necessity. but yeah he’s a very traditional royal in this. he doesnt like violence and sees it as beneath him. 

yeah :) deltas a very calm and unflappable person. he just had to be in the canon, but i think that kind of stoicism really comes to him naturally. if anything, he’s more emotional with paris than most people, which is what we see here. hes even more collected and impenetrable around other people.

yessss delta gets to keep his friends <3 i like imagining higher class kitty and apollo in comparison to the normal rebel ones. i think kitty is a bit colder, but apollo maintains a lot of his warmth. i also thought it was crazy to write a apollo and paris interaction lol bet u didnt see that coming…

yes paris’s own perceived uselessness absolutely fucking destroys him. this is the “more on that later” i was talking about. it makes sense to assume that paris would be defiant cause his fucking attitude and anger issues are so bad in the canon that you assume it would carry over. and it does! but arguably the more integral paris trait, over his anger issues, is his complete seriousness about his role and the way he gives absolutely everything to it. incredibly important paris trait is that if you give him a job, he is going to take it incredibly seriously and will absolutely torture himself if he feels that hes not doing a good enough job at it. and thats really whats happening here. deltas parents bought him after an assassination attempt — and there have been no assassination attempts since. nothing has even come close. delta protected himself the first time. delta does not fucking need him. the king is talking about what a waste of money he was. paris has such a dire need to feel useful and hes given absolutely zero opportunities to do so here. thats the real torture. 

paris’s vanity is a remnant from canon. poor little prince 💔

oh yeah. delta is INCREDIBLY patient with paris here. part of this is because delta is honestly just a more patient person. but its also because this setting is a lot more relaxed than canon. things are very low stakes. paris is more of a threat to himself than anybody else — and he’s putting his own life on the line when he acts out like this. i tried to write delta to be very fair in this AU in that i think he’s acting very reasonably from his perspective. but ultimately what he’s punishing paris for is displaying PTSD symptoms. so thats the push and pull.

see above. he’s not doing it on purpose.

there’s been literally nothing written about delta’s parents. canon paris says some incredibly mean things to him about delta getting sold to pay off a debt just to hurt his feelings, but its not true. neither of them have any idea what the deal was with deltas parents. delta assumes he was abandoned but i dont know if he even places that much stock into the idea so much as he’s (reasonably) very angsty and touchy about it. so he assumes and likes to indulge in the worst. but its not true. deltas parents loved him a lot and would have never ever wanted that for him. this will come up in rubies at some point but it will probably take a while.

yes delta’s name is delta because his name is delta in canon. ik it doesnt really make sense in this universe but i didnt want to give him another name haha. delta <3

okay yes i couldve explained this better. delta is a royal but this is also him leaning more into like the. spiritual side of his powers. when he gets dolled up in the canon its very often in a kind of religious garb. in this au his role as like. a vestal virgin or a sybil or whatever is more central. hes doing magic with his powers :) it leaves him very vulnerable while hes doing it though which is why hes scared and wants paris to guard.

yes! tbf i dont think paris would normally fight back, just because delta…doesnt hit very hard lol. but he already finds this situation so ridiculous and delta is such a mess at this point its like. “okay. knock it off.” this is more of a callback to the tundra fight than anything else.

yes :) nothing else to say to this but yes. i like aegean seas delta a lot. i imagine what he mumbled was just a curse or something along the lines of “you’re not even worth the effort”

Aegean Seas

Destroyer AU

long awaited roleswap AU. featuring royal delta and (defective!) living weapon paris

delta still has some psychic ability in this AU, but only a moderate amount. its nothing to write home about.

paris doesn’t have any powers, just an incredible capacity for violence. 

(Content: living weapon whumpee, royal whumper, carewhumper vibes, institutionalized slavery, blood, biting, choking, electrocution, choking, suggestive language, background lady whump, clowns, hidden injury, past abuse, past trauma, PTSD triggers, emotional whump, scars, body image issues, war mention, alcohol, non-con touching (nonsexual), conditioning, magical exhaustion, seizure, kinda fluffy?)

“You don’t have to look so upset about it.” Delta twirling the pearl earring around within the pierced fin. The golden bangles of his wrist clicked together lightly at the motion — and all the silver and sea-glass ornaments he wore jingled in time with the movement of the airship. He hadn’t been looking at Paris when he said it, and they were not the only ones in the cabin, but he understood it was meant for him.

“I’m not upset,” Paris said. At least, not as much as he could’ve been. 

Far below, the cerulean sea reflected the sun so that the water itself was blinding. Foam was gathering along the coast — a sure sign of rough waters. On the horizon, the embassy building jutted out from the cape.

~

The ship lowered itself in a hover just by the surface of the beach. Paris slid the exterior door open. He hopped the remaining few feet onto the sand right before the craft finally landed. By way of reflex, he extended one hand back to Delta, who took it without thanks as he stepped down.

The other members of the court soon followed, a handful of advisors and scribes sent to keep the time. With a home advantage, all support had been reduced to a skeleton crew. Paris shifted carefully in between them, eventually settling a few steps behind Delta and a bit off to the right, which he knew was the best sightline he’d get without drawing too much attention to himself.

The path up to the embassy was lined with basalt — and a pretty long walk uphill, considering how many of its visitors were geriatric. At the peak, he again pulled the entrance doors open, taking a cautious look in through the entryway. He felt the familiar weight of the blade tucked up into his sleeve, though he had no real expectation of using it. He held the door open for Delta alone, but deigned to let the rest of the congregation pass through in the same way. He stole a last glance out at the countryside before he pulled the door shut tight.

At the front, Delta’s eyes flitted up in the same clouded concentration he always fell into before the meetings. He refused to take notes, so dedicated to committing absolutely everything to memory. He played all the information back like rolls of film. He waved vaguely at the prompting of his advisors, but it was clear he was somewhere else. 

He only came to when they reached the center. It was a large room, polished, and most everything in it was the soft color of sandalwood. The painted monarch sat perched within the straight-backed chair. His own court spread out in a half-moon around him, all their papers all ready to go. Paris only caught a glimpse of them through the doorway, but the glimpse alone was enough to make him spiteful.

“Watch the entrance,” Delta whispered to him just before they passed through the entryway. Paris nodded and stepped off to the side of the door. 

Soon he was alone in the large hallway. The building was old and its halls were echoing, though not quite as bad as the castle. He leaned back against the wall, wishing he’d brought the cigarettes with him. He passed the butterfly knife idly in between his hands, having no better way to occupy the time. He’d gotten good enough at it that he didn’t even need to look while he did. His eyes still scanned the corridors in the way they’d been trained, sizing up each impotent official or underpaid clerk whose heels tapped down the linoleum tiles. There was no real threat. Nothing ever happened.

The jingling bells warned of her approach before she came into view. He sighed, slipped the knife back into hiding. Jo popped out from the doorway. She was quicker than he would’ve thought, skipping out a few paces before she even turned to see him. When she did, her painted face contorted into an express of unadulterated mirth. She giggled — and the bells of her hat jingled again as she flipped over to stand on her head.

“I was wondering where they were keeping you this time.” Her voice was raised in faux cheeriness. 

Paris watched her carefully — he couldn’t not. The rapid movements set all his nerves on edge. He was sure she knew that. He was sure it was why she did it. He didn’t answer.

She rolled over into a backbend and let her hands guide her up. When she was upright, she was not more than a few inches from his face. She was shorter than him, the difference exaggerated by the heels of his boots and the flatness of her stupid pointy shoes. She rose up on tiptoes to meet his eyes. He could see the glitter against her sclera. 

“No dogs in the house of law, eh?” She stretched one leg up over her head. Her movements continued so fluid and so completely uninfluenced by anything she was saying, as if they were completely different hemispheres of her brain.

“I heard that when the neophytes drop out, they give ‘em a new name and put ‘em out on the street. Painted silver! They spend the rest of their days doing tricks for spare change. Is that true?”

No one ever dropped out. He didn’t answer. She did a back walkover, her speech uninterrupted.

“Or I heard what they’re really doing now is selling all the new grads to Crimson’s West Front,” she paused for dramatic effect, “There’s a famine there, you know. They need new meat!”

She cackled. He stiffened slightly, because that part was probably true. Even if they weren’t getting eaten, a lot of the kids did get bought out for the war effort, and were given no arms when they arrived. They were getting pushed into the meat grinder, literally or figuratively.

She seemed disappointed with his lack of outward reaction. As she rolled onto the floor again, she laid there on her stomach for a second, kicking her legs back and forth.

“You don’t have to worry about that though. I bet he’s nice to you,” She grinned impishly, pushing herself up into another handstand. “I hear he’s nice to everyone.”

She erupted into a laughing fit at that. His eye twitched. He felt the weight of the blade in his sleeve. She looked over to see his expression and her smile widened. She cartwheeled towards him, again landing only inches apart from him.

“People on High Street got a name for him. What was it again? The something wonder? You’ve heard it before, right? You had to. You spend enough time with that whore to-“

He threw her into the ground before she could finish, the last synapse snapping within him. 

The sudden violence got a forced, clipped laugh from her. She did a back roll before he could strike again, sitting up on her knees before she swept one of his legs out. He dropped, but it didn’t slow him down. Nothing could have. He still drove his fist full force into her jaw, once, twice, about as many times as it would take to break it off. 

She didn’t let him get that far. Jo was stronger than she looked and just as quick as he was. She was not downed easily. When he pinned her, she slipped. When her nails reached up to scratch out his eyes, he bit down upon her fingers hard enough to break them. Her blood gushed into his mouth. It was familiar. He didn’t even stop to spit it out.

She elbowed him in the face at the same time she drove her knee up into his stomach — all sharp angles. It was hard enough to knock him off of her and onto his side. Blood poured from his nose. It splattered on the floor right beside her own. She crawled forward on her bloodied fingers, trying to get even. He forced himself back upwards, lunging at her again. He became vaguely aware of a commotion behind him.

“Stop,” Delta said tiredly.

Paris did not stop. No fucking chance. Not now. She was still moving, still breathing, still fucking laughing. His hands closed around the undulations of her throat. 

“Stop,” Delta repeated.

Blood dripped thick and hot from the both of them. Johanna twisted beneath him, her eyes shining like stars. He wanted them barren. He wanted her to stop moving.

“Stop,” Delta said it with no more emphasis than the first two times, but he’d closed the distance between them now. The prongs of the choke collar dug into Paris’s neck, cutting off his oxygen. 

He backed up on his knees, leaning backwards into the touch, the only way he could loosen the chain. But for all the slack the proximity created, Delta only pulled it higher, tighter. No air reached him, even when he’d stopped, even when he had stilled. It kept going. The panic gripped him immediately, tempered only by experienced. Delta wouldn’t kill him. He wouldn’t, he wouldn’t, he wouldn’t, and as soon as he started to think that he would, the chain released. Paris gasped shakily, collapsed down onto his hands and knees. One hand pawed desperately at his throat. Small beads of blood had formed there in the collar’s outline.

He felt the pressure of the chain being picked up and winced, but it did not tighten again.

“Sorry about him.” Delta frowned. “And…sorry about your…clown.”

“Oh, don’t worry about her. She’s had worse.”

And sure enough, Jo sat up again, the wounds he’d given her already half-healed. Her stupid fucking hat jingled as she shook her head clear. The sound was enough to re-trigger the prey drive. He lunged.

Sharp and course electricity ran straight through his body, aborting the attack before it could even begin. All his muscles locked up. He’d built up a tolerance for the dryer sparks, but being tased was rare. It was a different story. He knew the shock only lasted a few seconds, but those seconds dragged out like years. Delta didn’t even say anything, the tips of his fingers retreating from the raw skin of his neck. 

“Here girl,” the monarch snapped their fingers. 

The clown stood up in her wet clothes, skipping happily back into the employ. Paris kept his eyes trained on the empty space in front of him, the blood spots on the floor. He heard their footsteps retreating. The hallway was silent. One of Delta’s fingers was still hooked around the circle of his collar.

“Clean it up,” he said. Paris nodded. The chain went slack and he was alone in the hall once again.

~

“She started it-“

“She is a jester,” Delta cut him off. “She was doing her job. If she didn’t have that healing factor, you would have killed her.”

His eye twitched. Killed her. Kill her. It flared up within him again, without any target. He dug his nails into his wrist to keep from something worse. The anger burning so hot inside of him he thought he might just be sick from it. She’d done it on purpose. She’d got him on purpose, but it shouldn’t have worked. 

“You weren’t there,” he said, the ache of defensiveness rising in his voice. “You don’t know what she was doing.”

“Did she draw on you?” Delta asked, sounding bored. He already knew the answer.

Paris’s face flushed anyway. He gave no reply.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Some small satisfaction crept into his voice, then faded quickly into irritation. “You didn’t have any impetus. Nobody was in any danger until you snapped. And now they know that if they so much as wave a flag in front of you, you act like a rabid fucking animal.”

“I was defending you, you ungrateful fuck!” The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. Delta looked up in shock.

“I’m sorry,” Paris amended quickly, retaining at least some sense of self-preservation. He covered his mouth with his hand in a a belated effort to silence himself. It wasn’t enough. He’d been on thin ice before, but that could not be tolerated. They both knew it.

“Why are you like this?” Delta asked. He didn’t say it as an insult. He asked like he really wanted to know.

That only made it worse.

~

The inner courtyard of the Aegean palace was dense with marble and wildflowers. He always thought the statues looked out of place among the foliage, the vines creeping up the legs of the gods as if they’d already been forgotten. The last of the day’s light was held up in the violet clouds. Beneath them, the walls were doused in the cool blue of dusk. The air was warm and wet.

Paris went without prompting, without needing to be forced. He pulled the shirt off of his back, shivering a bit as the scars that already laid there were exposed to the open air. He knelt down by the post. The guard shackled his wrists to the side of it. He rested his forehead against the wood, curling and uncurling his fingers. It made it more tolerable.

He heard the whip crack against the ground as the guard made practice shots. Delta sat off to the side, one elbow propped up against the aluminum garden table, watching without much interest. He’d never get his hands dirty doing it himself. He wouldn’t even know how. 

That idiot guard didn’t know much better. The first strike came down unpracticed, landing diagonally along his shoulder and against the old scars. He pressed his head further into the post, preferring the pressure he felt there to the hot pain that was forming along his back.

It only grew. It layered. It would’ve layered already, in just a single beating, but his body had years worth of them just waiting to be reignited. The whip dredged up the old pain easily. It didn’t split the skin, but he could remember when it had. The thought alone made him dizzy. The pain quickly became all he could focus on. It kept going.

“Please stop,” he said, beginning to get truly nervous now. It’d been going on too long and was pushing up against the bounds of what he could tolerate. His hands turned over anxiously in the solid iron of the manacles. He couldn’t have gotten out even if he tried.

Delta held a hand up. The whip temporarily ceased. He stood up from the table, electrifying the air as he got closer. 

He shouldn’t have said anything. 

“Hm?” Delta asked, leaning down a little, “Stop?”

He could tell that he was feeling vindictive. Delta’s voice took on that soft, too-patient tone it always had when he was furious. 

“Paris, when I told you to stop, what did you do?” he chided.

“…Kept doing it,” he muttered miserably into the post. He hated when he got like this.

“So you do understand.”

“It hurts.” He kept his voice soft, somewhat whiny. It was calculated, but he didn’t have to force it. It didhurt.

“It’s supposed to. I wouldn’t have to do this if you would just listen the first time. You don’t have anyone to blame for this but yourself.”

There was no making him understand. Delta had no concept of what hurt meant — of how much was too much. His own body was unblemished. He’d never bled for anything. 

For as long as he was standing there, the punishment couldn’t continue. They wouldn’t dare swing the whip when Delta was in line of it, god forbid. He took the break for what it was, a few needed seconds for him to catch his breath. Delta seemed to catch onto what he was doing, taking a few steps back. He turned back to the guard.

“Finish up. Gag him if he talks again. He knows better,” he instructed. 

He paced out of the courtyard, retreating back inside the castle walks. He never liked to see the aftermath, either.

~

Delta had been sixteen years old on the eve of his first and only assassination attempt. It had been a failure, in the sense that he had not died from it. It had also been a failure in the sense that the assailant had not even gotten close. 36,000 volts ran straight through his circulatory system before the knife could even fall.

Delta had been uninjured — and in the end, unshaken. The King and Queen were not. They had no other heir.

Paris came as a knee-jerk reaction, dredged up out of whatever trench they’d found him in. He could play nice, when he needed to. He knew exactly what was on the line.

He was passable. The King bought him alone and unannounced. He’d complain for years afterwards that he’d been ripped off.

Paris had glanced up when he was first made to kneel in the throne room. His first impression was that Delta looked awfully calm for someone who had just survived an assassination attempt.

Delta was unimpressed by it, and had been unimpressed by everything since.

~

Almost everything. Kitty glowed blue in the light of the lounge. It was Delta’s favorite room. in the palace. It had been even since he was little. The walls were all made of glass, with thousands of gallons of seawater lying just behind them. Whole shoals of fish reflected silver onto the dark floor. The sequins of Kitty’s slit dress had the same effect.

She was wearing a collar. He didn’t know why he found this so funny. He guessed it could be considered a choker, if he wanted to be generous, but with the ears and the tail, “collar” was the first word that came to mind.

Hers wouldn’t choke her. If he wanted her to, he’d have to do it himself.

She draped herself over the arm of his chair. Kitty was growing into herself so beautifully. Her eyes still lit up at the sight of the fish swimming, just the way they had when they were kids, and he knew she wanted nothing more than to break straight through the glass to get at them. But everything else about her now shone with such a honed sophistication. 

“You’re bleeding,” she said, her eyes widening with concern.

“What?” He blinked. He hadn’t meant to.

But sure enough, a thin stream of blood trickled from his nose just as soon as she got close to him. Delta blushed, a pale blue hue rising up beneath his freckles. It came as a betrayal.

“You’re so predictable.” She almost smiled, pressing a pink handkerchief to his face before the blood could drip onto the soft sheen of his clothes.

The air around him crackled so badly both their hair stood on end.

~

Apollo tread into the kitchen with the golden fringes of his clothing catching all the light. He dragged the kitchen chair out and fell lightly into the seat. He made a soft sound of surprise  as he found Paris leaning back against the edge of the counter. 

“You have to stay up as long as he does?” Apollo asked. He leaned forward against the marble table, rocking the chair from side to side.

“I’m not supposed to sleep at all,” Paris responded flatly, only half joking. It was a bad look for him to be sleeping while Delta was awake, in the same way it was a bad look for him to be sleeping in. That left a very small window for him to get any rest at all. 

Apollo grimaced in sympathy. He placed the empty glass down on the counter. Wordlessly, Paris took it to refill.

“Oh, I didn’t- Is that even your job?” Apollo asked, a blush rising to his face.

Paris shrugged, pouring the last of the bottle out into the glass. He slid it back across the table. 

“You should let me fix that for you,” Apollo offered.

Paris yanked his hand back as violently as if he’d been burned. He thought it was invisible. It hadn’t healed that wrong. It still worked. It wasn’t an impediment. He clutched it to his chest protectively, shielding his wrist with his other hand.

Apollo gave him a knowing look. He stirred the drink idly. The ice made a soft noise as it clattered against the edges of the glass.

“They didn’t splint that for you in training?” He tilted his head.

Paris looked down. He tentatively loosened the grip on his wrist. It’d just been a fall. He’d gotten knocked backwards and he’d needed to stop himself from cracking his skull onto the floor. He’d done it wrong. The wrist had taken the brunt of the impact. He kept it in a splint at night — and when he was alone — but he couldn’t ever wear it around the trainers. He made use with the bandages instead, prayed everyday that medical didn’t come see him. In time, the bones had stitched themselves back together. Not enough, apparently.

Apollo was still staring at him.

“…It’s disqualifying,” he said softly.

“Ah,” Apollo leaned his elbow on the counter. He pressed one finger up against his lips. “Don’t worry. Your secret’s safe with me.”

Paris looked at him gratefully. Apollo took another sip of the drink, seeming to study the swirling patterns of the table’s surface. After a while, he added:

“He wouldn’t mind, though.”

Paris frowned. He didn’t think so either. That wasn’t the point. He couldn’t have his wrist be unusable for a full six weeks. He could not stand to be any more unusable than he already was.

He couldn’t bring himself to say it. He never would. The silence endured. Apollo shrugged, taking the drink back with him as he ducked out of the bright kitchen. Paris drew the sleeve of his shirt all the way past his fingertips.

~

ponyboy: heyyyyy

headrooms: holy shit

headrooms: i thought you fucking died

ponyboy: nope :-)

ponyboy: just busy yk how it is

headrooms: fuck

headrooms: dont scare me like that

ponyboy: sorryyyyy

ponyboy: how have you been

headrooms: im chill

headrooms: i got beat up by a jester last week

ponyboy: lmfao

ponyboy: dude shut up your job is cushy as shit

ponyboy: you wanna know what they had me doing last week????

headrooms: uphill both ways in the snow

ponyboy: i was pushing whole barrels full of petroleum and poison uphill in the coldest day of winter. they didnt even give me gloves until my fingers were already falling off!!!

ponyboy: hey fuck you

headrooms: lol

headrooms: are you good though like actually 

ponyboy: ya i mean

ponyboy: its definitely heating up here but we’re still holding a good position 

ponyboy: they kinda treat me like shit but they also dont want to lose me so im not being sent for the real suicide missions yet <3

headrooms: thats good i guess

headrooms: is vi chill

ponyboy: omg no shes been on her fuckin period lately 

ponyboy: bitch mode

headrooms: lmfao mine too

headrooms: i swear its the full moon

ponyboy: IT LITERALLY IS IDK WHAT HER PROBLEM IS

ponyboy: ughhhhhh

headrooms: i miss you

headrooms: like

headrooms: all the time

ponyboy: i miss you too !

ponyboy: ill let you know if im ever in your corner of the galaxy! i want to see you again so badly <3

Paris winced. If her people ever ended up in his corner of the galaxy, that was a bad, bad sign. Selfishly, he wished for it anyway.

He heard footsteps approaching and quickly slid the phone back into his pocket. He was not quick enough to get rid of the cigarette. Delta paced out onto the balcony in a whirlwind. Little bouts of lighting lit up by his eyes.

He plucked the cigarette straight out of his mouth. His other hand smacked hard against the side of Paris’s skull. 

“Ow,” Paris winced, though it didn’t really hurt. Because he wanted Delta to feel bad. Or because he knew he wanted to hear it. Whichever it was that day. Whichever worked.

“Those are my fucking lungs,” he hissed. The guilt trip hadn’t worked. Paris shrugged.

“Sorry.”

The apology worked better. Delta’s body language relaxed some as he snubbed the cigarette out on the palace wall. He didn’t ask for the rest of the pack. Smoking was fair game, really. It was getting caught doing it that was the issue. 

“Who were you texting?” he asked mildly.

He hadn’t hid the phone quick enough. He tried to play it off.

“Just Lorry.” He looked down. 

“Oh.” Delta’s expression seemed to soften, almost imperceptibly. “Is she okay?”

“Yeah,” he answered automatically. His heart quickened right after. “…Why? Did you-“

“No,” Delta cut off that train of thought before it could really begin. “No news. I was just wondering.”

“She’s fine, then,” he confirmed. As much as she could be.

It was only then that Delta actually looked guilty. He didn’t have to. It wasn’t his fault. Lorelai had been purchased months before Paris had. It was a miracle he was even allowed to stay in touch with her. He knew most of the program’s graduates weren’t half as lucky.

He still wanted the cigarette. He leaned back against the wall, unsure what to do with his hands or his mouth when it was gone. Delta didn’t leave after that, the way he’d expected him to. He pulled himself up onto the railing with a kind of stupid abandon.

The air carried the scent of salt from over the ocean. Down on the beach, two kids flew a white kite right above the waves, blissfully unaware of the peacetime’s fragility.

~

“Keep?” Paris asked, holding up the alligator skin boots. They’d been dyed a shade of ruby red.

“Absolutely not.” Delta shook his head frantically, “Toss. Don’t even tell anyone I had those.”

“I thought they were nice,” Paris muttered. 

He tossed them into the trash pile anyway. He crossed back over the length of the massive closet, pulling another bag off the shelf. This was absolutely, definitely not his job. But it wasn’t like he had anything better to do. He liked anything that did not make him feel like a total waste of space.

His knees hit the ground before he really knew what he was doing. It was a better instinct, though, probably the least harmful out of all the ones he could not control. Delta looked up in surprise, only realizing what had just happened as the King stepped in through the doorway. Delta’s attention recentered on his father. They both acted as like he wasn’t even there.

“Don’t you have a dispatch to be filling out?” Ulysses leaned against the doorway, surprisingly casual in the company of his only son. It was a reprimand, but his tone was still playful.

“I’m fuckin’ working on it, jeez,” Delta snapped. 

“Doesn’t look like it,” the King glanced around the room. Paris flinched a bit as his gaze passed over him, but it didn’t linger long.

“Oh!” The queen Andromeda appeared in the entrance before Delta could even respond, looking excitedly at the gown Delta held in one hand. “I’ve always loved that dress! You never wear it!” 

“Oh my god,” Delta said, “Can you leave me alone.”

She rushed forward anyway, squishing his face with one hand as she kissed his cheek.

“Mom!” He blushed terribly.

She smiled, knowing exactly how much she was embarrassing him. He shoved her lightly back towards the door and shut it quickly before either of them could protest. He slammed his head against it once it was closed.

“You can get up,” Delta rolled his eyes. Paris did, rigidly so, in the same mechanical way as when he’d gone down. He blinked a few times, trying to bring himself back to the present.

“They’re so fucking annoying,” Delta muttered to no one in particular, wiping his face off.

“Your parents are nice,” Paris protested weakly in their defense.

“He beat you with a 2x4,” Delta reminded him.

Paris shrugged. The King could’ve done much worse. He’d snapped at Delta that time — not on purpose. Never on purpose. It was only the nerves firing wrong, the signals getting twisted. He couldn’t help it. But it’d been grounds for immediate termination. Paris got off easy, and had moved on from it fairly quickly. Delta still held a grudge against his father for it. 

“Keep?” Delta asked this time, desperate to change the subject. Paris guessed he was glad, too. Something in him ached awfully whenever they were around.

“Keep,” he affirmed.

~

It was awful. They had to hold court later, had to hold it in ten fucking minutes, and his heart felt like it was about to explode if he didn’t kill something. He paced uncontrollably, snapping at the air no matter how hard he tried to stop it. Delta watched idly from the throne. Not angry. Just visibly unpleased with it all.

“Come here,” he called finally. 

Paris flinched. It was not a request. He tried anyway.

“I don’t…want you to…” he protested weakly.

“I didn’t ask if you wanted it.”

Paris reluctantly approached, kneeling beside the throne. Delta tilted his head, the tiara slipping down a bit as he did so. A soft blush rose to Paris’s face. He pulled his shirt off, then lowered further onto the floor, laying down flat on his stomach. He rested his head against his arm, burying his face. He heard Delta rising up from the throne and settling cross-legged onto the floor beside him.

Delta made that same soft, dissatisfied noise he always did when he saw the old whip scars all along his back. Not his work. The lashes he gave didn’t leave a mark. He didn’t like it when they did. Paris winced.

They were ugly. Paris knew that if the King had caught a single look at the lattice, he’d have never been bought in the first place. Because it was defacement. Because they were ugly. The thought echoed in Paris’s brain every time he caught a glimpse. It was pure vanity. He was a weapon, he knew it didn’t matter, he shouldn’t have even cared about that kind of thing. But he did. He hated them. 

“So tense,” Delta murmured from above him. His hands kneaded into the ridges along Paris’s spine – that strange, analgesic touch. Paris could feel his muscles softening involuntarily, the tension in them forcefully removed.

The urchin spine slid into the center of his shoulder blades. He bit his arm to keep from gasping.

It wasn’t the toxin alone that did it. He knew that because he’d pricked himself with it once, just out of curiosity, and he had felt almost nothing at all. It was the way he used it. 

He didn’t always hate it; sometimes it was almost nice. It was nicer when they did it alone, when he wasn’t forced to take it, exposed on the floor of the throne room. It was viscerally unpleasant to experience against his will. He did not like Delta having that much control over his body. He didn’t want to calm down.

The spine entered again, and he calmed anyway.

It went on like that until all the rigid tension seeped out through his skin like poison, then a while afterwards too. It was gentle, despite everything. He could’ve cried.

“Better?” 

He nodded, though he really just felt hazy. He didn’t think he could even hold a sword anymore. The calm felt intrusive. He was sure he couldn’t move at all, almost limp in the aftermath. He didn’t need to, though. Delta pulled him up a little, trying to straighten him out. He found his position again, on his knees. 

He pulled the shirt back on, roughly. His arms had gone numb; it took so much more effort than it had to take off. He shifted, readjusting so that he was facing the rest of the room this time. It took so much effort just to sit upright then. He felt high.

“Good boy,” Delta said, about a half second before the doors opened. He was only saying it to be mean, but in the moment, Paris couldn’t bring himself to care.

~

Delta yanked his hand away from his face just before Paris could snap it off. Paris hissed in frustration, falling abruptly to the ground. He pounded his fists against the tile. It was all he could do to not fucking kill him. 

“Why the fuck would you do that?” He hissed out through gritted teeth. It was wrong. He was making it worse for himself. He had no fucking right to be talking to him like that. 

He couldn’t help it. He felt like he was going to scream.

Delta watched impassively.

“It’s getting worse,” Delta said. There was real concern in his voice. 

Paris pressed his forehead to the ground, curling up. Anything else. 

“I know it’s getting worse,” he growled.

Delta started to bend down, which was the worst thing he could’ve done.

“Get away,” Paris warned. For fucking once, Delta actually listened, taking a few cautious steps back.

It took ten whole minutes for him to get back to a state where the prey drive wasn’t waiting two inches beneath the surface. He sat up wearily. Exhausted. Fucking embarrassed.

Delta’s eyes were wide, but then, they always were. The rest of his expression revealed nothing at all.

“You need to figure that out,” he announced quietly.

“I’m not doing it on purpose.” Paris buried his face in his hands. “You know I’m not doing it on purpose.”

“That isn’t going to matter to them and you know it.” His voice was soft. Almost sympathetic. “And don’t talk to me like that,” he added, almost as an afterthought.

“Delta…” Paris whined into his hands. It was an undisguised plea. As if the way he was talking was what mattered right now.

“I’m serious. Don’t.” The plea went unanswered. If anything, his voice hardened. Paris watched with some small horror as all the patience seemed to bleed out of him. As if he could afford to lose a single ally.

“Sorry,” he muttered. 

“Figure it out,” Delta said with such sincere urgency that it seemed like now was his turn to beg. He stormed off, unwilling to let anyone else get the last word in.

Paris picked himself up off the ground and put his fist through the nearest wall.

~

No matter what happened that day, he still came crying in the night like a little kid. 

Paris flinched a bit as he was awoken, but not for very long. He guessed he should’ve been used to it by now. Delta stood over him, tugging at his sleeve impatiently, wordless. His eyes shone like beacons in the darkness of the bedroom. His hair was down. He looked so young when he was like this. His look was all pleading.

Paris sighed, letting himself be roused from the bed. He just barely had time to grab the sword before he was dragged out into the hallway. He followed Delta all the way up the stairs, all the way up to his bedroom. He could hear the water trickling well before he entered.

His parents really did spoil him. Delta’s room was probably the most expensive part of the entire palace. Water rushed down from the ceiling in an artificial waterfall, landing into the koi pond that took up a whole quarter of the room. All the rest of the room was crystalline, opalescent. Absolutely cluttered with anything that would shine.

Paris didn’t roll his eyes at the giant seashell that held Delta’s mattress. He’d seen it enough times that it had lost its novelty. He didn’t expect anything less.

“Watch the door,” he begged.

Paris nodded. He knew the drill. He sat down on the floor by Delta’s bed while the sheathed sword rested in his lap. He wouldn’t need it. He knew he wouldn’t need it. Delta was just scared.

Delta crawled up into the bed, arranging himself carefully for the meditation. The low drone of electricity began to fill the room. Channeling again. All the stars had aligned for it.

“παρακαλῶ,” Delta muttered beneath his breath. “παρακαλῶ, παρακαλῶ, παρακαλῶ…”

The incantation began shortly after that. The hair on the back of Paris’s neck stood up. He kept his eyes on the door. He didn’t like to watch.

He’d learned to tune out the rambling, for the most past. He knew Delta didn’t like it when people overheard — and he only let Paris do it out of necessity. It was fine. He didn’t understand any of the Greek. It was only the rapid, manic way he spoke that really scared him. Hushed and quick and ancient. It felt right to avert his eyes for it. It was something he had no business witnessing.

His eye twitched a little bit as he realized just how loud the incantation was growing behind him. The room was getting brighter. He got the awful feeling he always did when he felt lightning was about to strike. It was getting bad this time. It was getting worse than he could ever remember it being.

He turned around.

It was about as bad as he imagined. The light burned and radiated off of him, bright enough to be blinding. Delta was definitely seizing beneath it all. His eyes were shut tight like the power was painful. His hands clutched at the blanket. Paris realized with horror that the bedding was turning blue from all the blood that then dripped from his mouth and his eyes. 

“Fuck,” Paris muttered beneath his breath. 

He should have known better than to wake a sleepwalker.

He regretted it as soon as he touched him. For a minute, he thought he’d really gone blind. The pain exploded in his arm as he was thrown back against the wall. His own body seized with the residual electricity. He gasped, crumbling down into a heap onto the soft floor.

“What the fuck did you do?” Delta coughed up blood onto the floor. Blood or tears poured from his eyes. In all likelihood, it was both. He wiped at them idly, not seeming to be in any particular hurry. It wasn’t like he’d be able to get all of it off with his hands.

He stumbled up from the bed — and immediately fell onto the floor. He crawled the rest of the way over to the koi pond, scooping the water up with his hands to remove the rest of the blood. 

“Why the fuck did you do that?” he repeated, even angrier now.

“You were seizing.” Paris gasped. His arm hurt badly enough that he thought it might be broken. He couldn’t tell. He was still mostly blind.

“I told you not to interrupt,” Delta pressed his forehead onto the stone. He couldn’t even stand.

“You’re pushing it too far,” Paris said. It was all he said. It was all he needed to.

“Shut up,” Delta warned.

“You’re pushing it too far,” he repeated, sing-song.

“Shut the fuck up!” Delta stood up again. Paris knew he meant to hit him, meant to fight him, and suddenly that was what was happening. 

“Oh god damn it, you fucking moron.” Paris blocked his fists with his arms. It hurt a little bit, but not nearly enough to incapacitate. He pushed Delta off with zero effort, which only seemed to piss him off more.

Delta growled, stumbling to his feet. He marched over to the bedside table, pulled out what Paris recognized belatedly as a fucking muzzle.

“Wait.” He tensed up, still not having risen off the floor. “Wait, wait, wait, chill-“

Delta fell messily to his knees, trying to secure it onto him. This time, Paris actually did fight. He caught his wrists. He hated that thing so much. It was the middle of the fucking night, he’d never be able to sleep with it on. He didn’t deserve it. He’d been trying to help.

“Stop,” he pleaded while he still had the ability to. “Come on. Stop. Please.”

Delta sighed in defeat. He dropped the muzzle to the floor — and let himself fall to it a few seconds later. He mumbled something in Greek.

“I’m tired,” he muttered into the carpet. His mouth was still bleeding.

Paris stood up, with a lot of effort, but he was still in better shape that Delta was. He picked him up with his uninjured arm. It wasn’t difficult. Delta was light. He wouldn’t have won the fight he’d tried to start. Paris pushed him back onto the bed, letting him collapse there.

“On your side,” Paris reminded him. Delta readjusted onto his side so that the blood wouldn’t asphyxiate him.

“Fucking goodnight, I guess,” Paris muttered, picking his sword back up from the ground. He picked the muzzle up too, placing it back in the drawer. Should’ve just thrown the damn thing out.

“Stay?” Delta asked.

“Yeah, think I’m good on that.” Paris started to walk out the door. 

“Stay.” It was an entreaty, now. Paris groaned. He walked back, collapsing onto the other side of the bed.

“Not all night. You cry in your sleep. I don’t know if anyone’s ever told you this.”

“So do you,” Delta muttered in reply, already half-asleep.

Paris shrugged. The waterfall was quiet and reassuring. He could stay for that, if nothing else. 

~~~

@catnykit @snakebites-and-ink @scoundrelwithboba @whatwhump

@pumpkin-spice-whump @deluxewhump @fuckass1000 @fuckcapitalismasshole @defire

@micechomper @writereleaserepeat @aloafofbreadwithanxiety @floral-comet-whump @littlebookworm69

@lordcatwich @human-123-person @paperprinxe @whomeidontknowthem @chiswhumpcorner

@bacillusinfection @ichortwine @whump-queen @lumpywhump

@jumpywhumpywriter @sir-fenris @a-formless-whumper

[deoidesign]

Guys you're not gonna believe this. The books are wrong again

At least this time I didn't even get half of them and half of what I did get was damaged...? So I only have another 70 books to deal with... This time they're soft touch......

I've got so many of book 2 it's not even funny

[mokeonn]

The most annoying phenomena on this website is grown adults refusing to educate themselves, despite the abundant recourses at their disposal, because their heads are still stuck in highschool.

[brrdhouse]

😈

under cut because it might be long and rambly and word-salady and im sorry :') a little scatter-brained right now

so ford is the one who tells him, obviously hes mr anomaly #1. ford maybe mentions it to stan, but gideon tells NO ONE, hes grown enough at this point where hes not gonna use his own death as a pull for attention (that and he knows that even now, after all the work hes done, some people wont believe him)

so he sits on the info for a while, then packs up and leaves, really only keeping in touch with his mom (who im saying gets better and gets to be happy without the blind eye and her sons tantrums tag-teaming her with trauma) as he goes.. anywhere. ends up in every state, maybe even a little in canada and mexico, really just lives the most freeing life he can because he knows that theres not much of it left

he does come back to see his mom, but other than that he has like no contact with anyone from gf

i do want him to stay for a year when hes like 19 because i like the idea of him picking up a job at the diner (pacifica&gideon ex-mean girls friendship 4ever obsessed w them, and to be real? your au is convincing me of them being queerplatonic at the least. things to think abt..), he eventually lets it slip to someone (.. pacifica) that yeah, he doesnt have any future plans because he has no future and she is DUMBFOUNDED, absolutely gobsmacked

she convinces him to get back in touch with the rest of the zodiac and theyre wary, but its been years and he seems chill now. paz is so awkward because she knows that no one else knows that this kid is dying (because to them, he is a kid, he's the youngest of them all and he'll be the first to go)

but he spends the year there, then leaves the next fall. he's in their groupchats and stuff now so they get updates sometimes about how he's doing. he thinks its funny to send stan in particular shitty tourist traps and laugh at how passionately the old man critiques them, or to go to dive bar music nights and get their merch for robbie, or even just send pictures of things he sees on the road

they do find out eventually because pacifica is gossiping (as she does) and tells dipper and then he tells mabel who tells soos who.. you get it, gossip spreads fast with this group. they try not to have secrets at all, but gideons new to the fold so they didnt expect much from him, this is just a huge surprise (to everyone except ford)

he comes back the next spring for mothers day, then he's on the road again. then again the next year, and he starts texting less and less, until he finally comes back the summer he turns 23 and tells pacifica that he can tell his time's almost up. he tells the others on the down-low, has his last summer with people that actually like him enough to spend it with him, and dies the next fall. basically withers away, getting more fatigued and pallid until he just falls asleep somewhere and never wakes up 💔

i worry that im like? woobifying him too much? or making the other characters out of character by saying theyd worry? but itd also be more than 10 years post-weirdmageddon and theyd be able to see how much he's mellowed out so i think theyd be pretty concerned about this kid just dropping dead. that and i dont think gideon becomes a "good person" he just learns how to manage the issues he couldnt as a kid and becomes a BETTER person because of it

I REALLY HOPE THIS WASNT TOO MUCH? OR AT LEAST IF IT IS ITS AN ENJOYABLE READ? ??

teen gideon headcanons because i love him :] i am constantly thinking about him and how he's the only zodiac member (and honestly, only main-ish character because of the book of bill and the website) that doesn't get a sympathetic moment, other than POSSIBLY the finale but that barely counts

i think he deserves to have a SORT OF redemption, at least internally, because he took dipper's advice in weirdmageddon to heart. even if he gets over his crush on mabel (which i think he does. mom said its my canon now) theres still the truth of "people wont wanna be around you if youre a selfish prick"

anyways he makes me emotional so i'm giving him attention

im scared tumblr will kill the quality on my tiny handwriting so transcription under the cut:

after turning like 15, he just starts traveling, gets out of oregon and hits the ground running

uses my headcanon (?) that the amulet takes years from you, and gideon probably won't live past his 20s

he finds this out, has a total mid-life (literally) crisis at 14-15 and decides to do anything "normal" he can do because he doesn't have long to do it

ofc he still has anger issues and obsesses over people and everything else, but he's a lot better at managing it [than] when he was a kid

he doesn't care if he dies with people still hating him, but he wants it to be known that he tried

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

The Sword of Kaigen

standalone fantasy set in a rural mountain village at the edge of an empire that still holds traditional values, with families of powerful water/ice magic warriors

follows a powerful young heir who begins to question his beliefs about the empire when a new boy comes to his village from the city

and his mother, a housewife who has tried to forget her youth as a warrior and vigilante in the city since she moved back home to a loveless marriage

when there’s a violent attack on their village that they’re unprepared for, everything changes, and she has to embrace her old skills to protect her family and people

[puppyeared]

ive made myself more wet and pathetic

[lynxfrost13]

Maybe I’ll finally Wanze post soon

[butterflieswhisper]

hiiii ^^ beastlife fishie analysis. spoilers ahead. etc etc

okay so. the main point of this is simple. I don't think the salmon head cursed c!fishie. Explaining that is the harder part I think. also i'm going to refer to the salmon head thing in e5 as "the incident" from here on out because frankly i think it's funny

Let's start with the incident. The big day. etc. What happened? Why did it happen? Obligatory third questioning statement? Well. She was gifted the salmon head for her birthday by kiwi(or like. someone in the kiwibird system. -bird system. the birds). Immediately upon receiving it she relives parts of season one and fishie herself doesn't really acknowledge it. The other players definitely notice but im not caught up enough in any other pov yet to like have thoughts on that I'll come back to that point someday. Fishie seems shaken, sure, but she moves on so quickly, especially considering what happened just there. 37 seconds of standing frozen, unresponsive. she recovers in 5 seconds. And seeing how she reacts later on to realizing the memory situation--if she was aware that happened, she would probably be concerned by it. She puts it on for a brief second at the end of the party and takes it off immediately. She's otherwise normal -- well. as normal as she is otherwise up to that point. Because that is also how she acts with pretty much any salmon head, even just kiwi herself.

I raise: Episode one, about 8:20 in. The slow zoom on kiwi as the static overtakes every other noise. This is the *exact* same behavior displayed when fishie receives the salmon head, albeit without actual concrete old video footage style flashbacks. In episode two (28:55ish) the same thing happens when she looks at the salmon head in moch's house, but this time there is technically a flashback -- kiwis grave. Fishie moves on immediately and doesn't acknowledge her behavior at all, and, seeing as it is fishie, im inclined to believe that means she does not know she is doing it. Fishie (when alone) will discuss all of her problems in immense, and usually misguided detail (bestie i promise kiwi doesn't hate you???) to the audience and/or herself. I mean she's not alone in episode one, and it is technically presession, and i guess getting struck by lightning is a decent distraction from your problems, but in episode two? She is completely alone. There is nobody with her. She went looking for moch and moch is not there. She still doesn't acknowledge the fiveish seconds she is completely frozen. This happens again and again with kiwi and salmon heads.

And then that leads you to e5. The incident. She's. well. she's doing worse. 0:50. "This will distract me if i leave it up." This is the first mention from fishie herself about how fucking weird she's being, and even then she doesn't seem concerned. I think she does not realize she's being so so incredibly weird about it. If the static and freezing is what's referred to as "distraction" then keeping it in her inventory makes it worse actually so it wouldn't really make sense unless the way it is distracting her is NOT the. well. whatever the fuck is wrong with her (affectionate). After she puts the head on there's the static all the time but for a short brief amount of time she's like significantly more normal and i don't really know if that means anything i just think it's really funny.

And then we all know what goes on during the incident i'm not analyzing this video frame by frame. um. i could. but i am not going to right now. And then she has the conversation on the table with kiwi where she like is normal for 5 minutes. Like genuinely the most. i guess stable? fishie's thought process is is like in the moments directly after the incident. She is immediately understanding with the antikiwi situation, they come to an agreement that they're like. okay now. "thank you for everything and im so sorry i couldnt do more" / "it was short, but it was nice" "i knew what i was getting into when i married you" etc etc and then they kind of rush it at the end because people won't stop dying. But then fishie is fishie and takes it in the complete opposite extreme (from. um. whatever was wrong up until now. to "oh kiwibird must secretly hate me because" and then there's no real good reason she's just like that) and it's also an issue. And i think the season two memory thing is also a part of that but this is so long already and so i'm not going to get into it rn. So bringing all of this back to my original point: the salmon head was not the cause of the curse(?) because she's been so weird all the time forever and the salmon head thing was just like. an effect. of whatever went Wrong(tm) in the season transition. like the head was a vessel to Be Worse about it but i feel like it would have worked with any salmon head she got her hands on and that it happened to be kiwico was a coincidence and also that the head wasn't cursed at all there's just something deeply wrong with fishie s3 in general and uh yeah 👍

I'm so sorry this is so disjointed i had a thesis statement and everything. alas