#im really drunk if you couldnt tell

[demento-mori]

Honestly man. drugs and alcohol make me act. like. 50% more autistic than I already act. And whenever im drunk/high i always end up becoming more sociable.

Conclusion? I need to let go of my inhibitions and become the most geniune, authentic, autistic version of myself possible. Bitches love my stims and my mystique and my encyclopedic knowledge of strangely specific subjects.

[senseiwu]

Does it piss anyone else off that barely anyone holds garmadon accountable for his actions and then they give people crap for being upset with him after he's hurt them

[testing-tranquility]

Trass.

hi :)

[daisymbin]

do you hate me? (no, i don't, princess.) - choi seungcheol

warnings: mentions of alcohol (slightly intoxicated reader)

pairings: choi seungcheol x afab reader

genre: best friends to lovers, fluff, slight angst

a/n: i know i did best friends to lovers for wonwoo already but this has been sitting in my drafts for quite awhile and also, tbh this is probably one of my fav tropes hahaha enjoy!

check out my masterlist!

seungcheol's pov

''cheol-ah...do you hate me?''

''no, my love, i dont.'' i watch as a small smile flashes across her flushed cheeks. im not sure why i even responded to her at all seeing how drunk she was. she probably wont remember any of this in the morning when she wakes up anyway.

''who the hell gave her this much to drink? you guys know she can't hold her liquor well! you should have stopped her!'' i was honestly no where near as upset as i sounded. while a part of me is slightly upset, im also rather glad and relieved. glad that i can be here to take care of her and relieved because...its me who gets the privilege of taking care of her.

''im sorry hyung, i didnt expect her to drink so much and so quickly as well. soonyoung hyung and i were just getting dinner after work together but we ran into her so we went together. i swear i tried stopping her but im no match for the two of them! i couldnt even stop soonyoung hyung.'' dino said with a pout. ''i wanted to send her back home but she kept insisting that she wont leave with anyone else but you. i dont think she even recognises me right now. she kept calling me a stranger and said if i dont stop pestering her, her best friend would come fight me... i didnt have a choice hyung...'' dino looks almost terrified and its funny. i was trying so hard to fight a smile from coming out.

dino thought that i was mad at him for calling me out this late at night on my day off but truth be told, if this is what you call a disturbance then this would be the best kind. i love her. not that i would ever admit that to anyone. although, i don't think i need to. i know that the boys can tell. ''oh hyung...you're here?'' soonyoung finally spoke out. i shook my head in slight disapproval as i watch soonyoung slouch on the chair, almost losing his balance and falling over. ''chan-ah, i think you should bring soonyoung home. he's wasted.''

''i will hyung. im sorry again for calling you but you're her best friend afterall and she was asking for you.'' yeah, best friend indeed.

i watched as dino hauled soonyoung towards an incoming cab before i finally sat down beside her. ''how are you feeling?'' i asked as i gently helped her get up to walk towards my car that was parked just by the side of the road. ''just a little dizzy and fuzzy.'' i chuckled at that. fuzzy? cute.

i opened the door to the passenger seat and helped her in. i buckled her seatbelt for her and stepped back. ''where are you going?'' she looked at me with a slight sadness to it. i chuckled as i gently patted the side of her head. ''to the driver's seat, princess. we've gotta get you home somehow, dont we?'' she smiles at my response and i finally manage to close her side of the door.

''cheol-ah, can you hold my hand? it feels empty..'' her hand comes up to where mine is and held it in place before i could even answer. i could feel my heart beating so loud. how does she do it with such ease? i wonder if she knows how nervous she makes me feel. ''cheol-ah, do you hate me?'' she asked as she tried to keep her eyes open. probably fighting sleep. ''no, i dont, princess. i thought i already told you that just now.'' i said with a smile.

''i just wanted to make sure.'' she said as she let out a deep breath.

''why would i hate you?'' and this time, she closes her eyes. ''i just feel like...if you knew how i really felt about you, you would hate me.''

''i could never hate you no matter what, and besides, you know you can tell me anything, right? i'll always be by your side.'' i tried to reassure her.

''you can't say that when you dont know anything.''

''tell me then.''

''i can't cheol.''

''why not? i thought we promised each other not to keep any secrets between us?'' i immediately bit my tongue as soon as i said that; knowing full well that im keeping my biggest secret from her as well.

''but if i tell you....can you promise me not to get mad?''

''i promise.''

''theres someone i like...no no..theres someone im in love with for the past 2 years but i dont think he feels the same way..i thought it was just a stupid crush at first and that it would go away but it never did and my crush only grew bigger...i thought i would be able to handle it and pretend like it doesnt affect me but it does and i cant take it anymore.''

and there it was. that churning feeling in the pit of my stomach. my hands start to get clammy and my throat starts to feel dry. ''for 2 years?'' i start to think back to when that time period was. was it 2022? i had already been in love with her for 2 years by 2022. was i a fool to not have noticed that she had her eyes on someone else while i had mine on her?

''yeah..2 years..isnt that so pathetic?'' pathetic? i've been in love with you for 4 years..who is the pathetic one here? but instead i said ''no, its not. i've been worse.'' i am worse. i let out a deep sigh as i felt my heart slowly breaking. i felt like my heart was hard candy and a kid is just throwing me onto the ground and stomping on my heart with no regards whatsoever other than to smash this piece of candy into broken bits for the fun of it.

''come on. we're here.'' i parked the car and got out of the driver's seat and walked over to open the door of the passenger seat. ''cheol-ah...can you carry me in? my legs are not working.'' i wanted to say: of course, princess. anything for you. but i held my tongue. without saying a word, i lifted her up and closed the car door.

i punched in the code to the door, kicked my shoes off and carried her straight to her bedroom. i laid her down gently on her bed before kneeling down beside her to take her shoes off. i walked towards the bathroom to look for some cotton pads and make up remover as i returned to her bed, to her. ''come on my love, let's get your make up cleaned off hmm? otherwise you'll have a fit tomorrow about sleeping with your make up on.'' i smiled as i recalled that one time she slept in with her make up on and had the biggest fit in the morning about forgetting to take them off, screaming about how her skin will become worse and she'll turn even uglier, but she could never. it was just not possible. she is beautiful, always have been and always will be regardless of anything.

''no one takes care of me the way you do.'' she said softly against my ear as i helped her sit up to wipe her face clean. ''yet, you're still in love with some guy who i don't even know for 2 years!'' i tried to mask my sadness with some fake laughter. i hope she can't tell.

''i can't tell you...i can't tell anyone.''

''why not? is it that bad? plase don't tell me its soonyoung.''

''what? soonie? don't be crazy, he's like a brother to me.''

''then who is it?''

''mhm..can't say...''

i sighed and said ''lets get you to bed now. you're tired.'' as i get up to head to the bathroom, i felt her tug the sleeve of my jacket. forcing me to look back at her.

''can you stay here with me tonight? sleep with me.'' how could i ever say no to her? i would be the biggest idiot if i ever did. i always want to be close to her.

i let out a breath as i took my jacket off and throwing it on her work chair. ''come here, princess.'' i mindlessly held my hand out to her as i laid in bed with her. she rolled over clumsily to my side, putting her head on my chest. i wonder if she can hear the sound of my heartbeat picking up as strongly as i can feel it beating against my chest.

she took a deep inhale before she said ''you smell so good cheol, you always do.'' i smiled lightly as i pulled her in closer and tigher. nothing ever feels more right than when i have her in my arms.

''goodnight princess, sleep tight.''

''i love you.'' she said, almost too casually for my liking. telling each other we love each other isn't anything new, but how can she possibly say that to me after telling me she's been in love with someone else for the past 2 years? my heart broke again at the remembrance of that.

''goodnight, princess.'' i couldn't tell her i love her back, not when we don't love each other the same way. not when she doesn't love me the same way.

''why don't you say it back?'' she sounded hurt and it made me regret not saying it back...i never want to hurt her.

''do you hate me?'' she asked again.

''no i don't, princess. i love you.'' i said as i felt my heart sink little by little.

i carelessly start stroking her hair, hoping to put her to sleep soon. ''i love you.'' i said again.

when will i ever get the chance to tell her i love her again without having to hide my romantic feelings for her? when will i ever get to tell her i love her again without having to worry if she's finally figured me out? its so much easier to do it in the dark like this..where she can't see me, where i can hide. where i can love her proudly and openly without being afraid.

''i'm in love with you'' she said as she snuggled closer.

''let's sleep now its- wait what?'''

this time, its her turn to sigh. ''i said im in love with you, choi seungcheol.''

''you're drunk.''

''maybe..but i'm still in love with you. it doesn't change anything.''

i look down at her on my chest, but she was already looking at me. ''don't joke with me like that, princess. you know i don't take jokes well.''

''but i'm not.''

''you're not thinking clearly, princess. we've been best friends for forever, there's no way you're suddenly in love with me.''

''but its not sudden.''

i averted my eyes away from her to look back at the ceiling. i cant even look at her now. not when she's looking at me like that. not when she's looking at me like she means it, because i know it can't be.

''don't you have that guy you say you're in love with for 2 years? how would he feel if he found out that you're suddenly in love with me? how can you say it so casually? did u ever think about how i would feel? you can't just-'' and there it was. i felt my whole world stop, i felt it freeze. am i the one thats intoxicated tonight? what is happening because it can't be. that can't be her lips on mine.

she took advantage of my lips being slightly open from shock to slip her tongue in mine. and i let her. the same way she lets me run my hand through her hair, the same way she lets me kiss her back, and the same way she lets me pull her in closer by her neck to deepen the kiss.

''you're so noisy cheol.'' were not the words i expected to come out of her mouth after that kiss. ''what do you-''

''can i love you cheol? can i love you like that? can i be in love with you?''

i wanted so badly to screamYES but nothing comes out no matter how i try. i was dumbfounded. instead, all i did was let out a shakey breath.

''cheol...why are you not saying anything? are you....are you mad at me? i'm sorry i didn't mean to, i don't know what came over me im so-'' i felt her slowly removing her hands from my waist and letting go of my hand. ''no no no god im not upset i'm just.. i don't know what to say i don't know how to respond i just...'' i sighed at myself as reach out to hold her hand again.

''i'm in love with you too, i have for as long as i can remember.''

''really?''

''yes, really, princess.''

and it goes silent for awhile before i finally picked up the courage to ask ''did you..did you mean me? i mean...the guy that you were in love with. is it..is it me? because i understand if its not me and if this was a mistake-''

''yes, dummy. its you.'' this time i get to see her shy smile.

''oh...i see...cool.'' oh. oh? OH. it's me. i'm yet again rendered speechless. can i be blamed if the girl i've been in love with for the past 4 years suddenly kissed me and told me she loves me? that she's in love with me. she loves me. what am i to do or say when this all feels so surreal?

''so.....'' she starts out.

''so..?''

''do you hate me?''

''no, i don't, princess. i told you, i love you. i'm in love with you.''

i finally let myself break into a smile. it'll be over my dead body if i ever let her feel like i don't love her.

''really?''

''yes, princess, really. although, you might forget all this when you wake up tomorrow.''

''no, i won't. i'll tell you i love you again in the morning.''

''now, how about we go to bed and talk about this tomorrow over breakfast? i'll make you blueberry pancakes.'' i said as i stroked her cheek with my thumb. i pray she won't forget.

''i'd love that. goodnight cheol.''

''goodnight, princess.'' i waited a beat before i added ''i love you.'' but this time, i don't get a response. this time, i hear a light snore from her instead as i smile to myself. but for once, its okay if she doesn't tell me she loves me back because she fell asleep again. for once, my heart is not aching over questioning what her i love yous mean because for once, i know i won't have to tell her i love her just to hear her say she loves me too, because i know she will tell me that herself in the morning when she wakes up.

for once, i finally know what she truly means when she tells me she loves me. and for once, she knows what i truly mean when i tell her i love her.

[haechani4ever]

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: break up ✧

╰┈➤why would you two break up

. . ⇢ ˗ˏˋpairing ot7 x gn!reader

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋgenre angst

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋwarnings mentions of cheating

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋnote im sorry i know its kinda sad but im feeling very angst these days. also i had so much fun writing this and i hope u like it :)

✦➼mark lee ┈ he didn't have time for you

✦- sadly we all know how busy mark always is. likewise, he tried to give you some of his time, but it wasnt enough. sometimes days went by without them seeing each other and when they did see each other it was for 10 minutes. the good morning and good night messages didnt really make up for anything nor did the other text messages with small updates. probably you were the one who broke up with mark. he's too kind and sweet to do it. he also didnt really realize what he was doing and thats why you broke up.

it was a weekday when you approached him to talk to him. they were both in the kitchen of their house. they had just finished dinner when you told him. mark was shocked when you told him. he knew you were right but he really thought it was something that would happen and they could live with it. he told you that he understood but he was really very broken.

✦➼huang renjun ┈ fell out of love

✦- renjun is someone so sweet and loving but also someone who can lose interest quickly sometimes. i mean once you see something you dont like there is no turning back. you have to have a very strong relationship for it not to happen. but if it happens, i feel for you. it will start with things like stopping being attentive to you and almost completely avoiding physical contact between the two of you.

he told you out of nowhere really. you thought your twos relationship was in a good place, and suddenly he tells you that he doesnt love you anymore. probably it was that way because it was the only way he found to tell you. those words destroyed you completely and when you asked for explanations he didnt know how to give them because he really didnt know what had happened either.

✦➼lee jeno ┈ you no longer understood each other

✦- from one day to the next the relationship stopped working. you didnt understand him anymore, Jeno. It seemed like he no longer trusted you and was hiding things from you. the talks at the end of the day ended quickly and he no longer spoke to you much directly. you thought it was because they couldnt understand each other anymore so the trust between you felt absent.

a few months ago this was a problem in your relationship, suddenly talking to each other was not comforting nor did you listen to each other. every talk led to an argument. he was the one who brought it up to you. the relationship was no longer working, he loved you, you loved him, but they no longer understood each other. the spark that connected them had gone out

✦➼lee donghyuck ┈ cheating

✦- i dont know why but sometimes Hyuck gives me those cheater vibes. it must be because i read a lot of things with a plot about that, but thats not the point. despite being a very intelligent person, haechan can sometimes be somewhat impulsive. he was easily carried away by a provocation or he was simply drunk, we dont know really, but he did it. he swear it was a one-time mistake but it happened again, two more times. but since the third is the charm you caught him in the act.

you couldnt believe it when you saw it, the person you had fallen in love with being disloyal to you. he came out behind you quickly and started apologizing. but it was too late, the mistake had already been made. you told him you didnt want to hear his apology and you left. He tried to contact you in the following weeks but you blocked him everywhere. eventually he gave up looking for you.

✦➼na jaemin ┈ different visions of the relationship

✦- you had been with jaemin for a while when one day you sat down to talk as usual and this topic came up. they realized that they both wanted different things in life and that they didnt know where they were taking the relationship. you were willing to continue the relationship, settle down and maybe start a family one day with him. but jaemin still wanted to continue experiencing life and didnt see their relationship as something serious enough to settle down.

with this information the relationship was no longer the same. there was no point in really continuing with this if one of us thought that way. so one day, you faced him. you asked him if it was really true that he saw the relationship you two had that way and when he said yes, you blurted it out. it hurt him, but he understood and thought it was the best for the two of you.

✦➼zhong chenole ┈ big figth

✦- chenle is someone with strong ideas and sticks to them a lot, so arguments were not something unusual in their relationship. it was always little things like who had to wash the dishes and stuff like that. sometimes things escalated to another level but never like that time.

the argument had started over something that was certainly stupid given the strength with which they ended up arguing. everything got out of control when you reproached him for something. from there, they began to tell each other every bad thing they saw in each other. the argument ended when one of you shouted, "well, if we're so bad for each other we should break up." and that's how it ended, you didnt see him again after that for a long time.

✦➼park jisung ┈ a misunderstanding

✦- jisung thought you cheated on him. he misinterpreted a message that was on your cell phone. at first he denied it (not only because it wasnt true) but because he didnt believe it was true, especially coming from you. but after that he started noticing things that were always there but he had never noticed them. things that had nothing wrong and were purely innocent on your part, but he didnt see them that way.

one day when he got home he told you something that had made him a little jealous, and although he tried to stay calm he ended up exploding and letting it all out. you tried to explain it to him but he got carried away by his ego and didn't let you do it. also relevant is the fact that you had burst into tears because of what he thought of you. in the end you wiped your tears and told him that the relationship was ending.

[luvleyjuno]

Can’t stop thinking about her

Modern au you and Abby had just began a new relationship you’re in this honeymoon phase everything is new and exciting, everything is perfect well almost everything.

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Go read part 1 and part 2!!

Sorry I took so long to come out with part 3 I was being lazy..

Warnings: NSFW, use of y/n, jealousy, drinking, arguing, making out, oral(r receiving), pet names, fingering(r receiving),hair pulling?

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(If I missed anything let me know!! This is my first time writing smut please don’t judge me lmao 😭)

It had been a couple weeks since your date with Abby. You both continued to talk and talking soon turned into a relationship, this relationship was new and excited everything was great! Well almost everything you couldnt stop thinking about your kiss with Ellie, it felt wrong not telling Abby but it would ruin everything and ever since you heard from Dina she broke up with her new girl you couldnt help but think you were the reason. Abby had come by your place just for a movie night in, that was until Dina couldnt convice you to go to a party so she texted Abby knowing she'd want go and would convice you. You both quickly get ready and head out to the party, the party wasnt far at all so in a blink of an eye you were walking in with Abbys arm wrapped around you "you look so pretty tonight" Abby said while looking you up and down you smile and let out a giggle. Dina came running up to the both of you wrapping her arms around your neck hugging you "IM SO HAPPY YOU COULD MAKE IT!!" Dina yells already half drunk you let out a sigh "hey y/n im gonna look for Jesse and let him know Dina is kinda drunk" abby says while letting go of you and walking off. "how much have you had to drink?" you questioned her "im not drunk.." she splurs out trying to not slur her words "OH! i shouldve told you, Ellie is here i dont know where but shes here” Dina lets out in a whisper. hearing that Ellie is here makes your face go red, you see Dina run over to Jesse with Abby tralling not far behind you walk over to them abby smoothly wraps her arm around your waist and hands you a drink. you chug it, you need a distraction from the fact Ellie is here, anything to calm your nerves, Abbys face was confusion and shock she didnt expected you to chug the beer down and she was worried something was up "are you okay?" "im fine, dont worry about me" you untangle yourself from her and head off to find more beer. You find yourself in the kitchen searching for beer, you feel eyes on you. You grab the beer out of the fridge and close the door turning around to see who is in the kitchen with you, it was Ellie. It was like she was frozen in place the look on her face seemed like she was hesitant to speak “I saw you came with Abby seen her hands all over you” Ellie says looking straight at you with piercing eyes “yeah so what?” You try to sound annoyed you open up your beer and take a sip “why do keep staying with her” Ellie says stepping closer to you “you know I’m better than her” Ellie speaks softly into your ear your face goes red. Shaking the words she spoke out of your head to containing a straight face “what is your problem with Abby?” “I don’t like her she rubs me the wrong way everything about her just doesn’t seem right and I especially don’t like her now that you are with her” she moves her hand to your lower back “I miss you, I’m sorry for everything” you felt like you lost control of your body hearing those words you want to kiss her touch her like you used to but you know it’s wrong your body wants to lean into her touch but you push away and in that moment Abby walks in. Abby’s standing there watching you two trying to analyze the situation “what are you doing talking to her?” Abby says crossing her arms Ellie speaks up “she can talk to whoever she wants to” Ellie’s says with a hint of malice. “Should you really be the one talking about who she can talk to? Didn’t you ghost her??”

Abby grabs your hand and starts waking away you don’t look away from Ellie’s eyes, you hated that fact you couldn’t stop thinking about her. The rest of the night Abby kept you close you thought it was sweet but apart of you wanted to be near Ellie. You knew she was getting to you and she knew it, by the end of the party you and Abby get into a fight she wants to leave and you want to stay. By the end of the fight Abby is kissing you on the lips and leaving she didn’t want to fight especially when you are irritable, so she left. You had been drinking and felt sick and overstimulated so you went upstairs to find a bathroom just to get away from all the people and to splash water on your face. Ellie who had been watching you saw this as opportunity to talk to you alone so she followed you, before you closed the bathroom door she snuck in. “Ellie!! What are you doing?” “I wanted to get you alone, didn’t get to finish what we started downstairs” “Ellie.. we didn’t start anything downstairs” you give Ellie a look of shame “don’t look at me like that we both know what would of happened if Abby didn’t walk in.” You sigh “Ellie nothing was gonna happen” you look up at her Ellie grabs your face and kisses you. You kiss her back and move your hands to the back of her neck tugging on her hair she lets out a moan letting you put your tongue in her mouth. She lifts you up placing you on the countertop not breaking the kiss, she starts to move the kiss down to your neck sucking lightly, your head falls back and letting out moans. She rolls your dress up and pulls your panties offs, she rolls them up and puts them in her jean pockets. Ellie drops to her knees and kisses your inner thighs you start to breathe heavily in anticipation, she starts leaving marks on your inner thighs “Ellie..” you say in a whimper “yes baby?” She says looking up at you trying to act all innocent “please..” “please what?” “I need you Ellie” she licks her tongue in-between your folds you let out a moan of and a sigh of relief she starts sucking on your clit, you move your hands to her head gripping onto her hair she looks up at you. “Fuck ellie..” you moan out you couldn’t believe that you were doing this but god did it feel so good, “I’m gonna cum” your stomach starts to tighten and your breathing starts to pick up, Ellie gets up from her knees and you let out a whimper she starts kissing you again and moves her hand to start circling around your clit. You break the kiss and your head falls back a moaning mess she starts to pump her fingers in and out of you “Ellie I’m gonna cum please don’t stop!” “Come on baby cum on my fingers” she hummed out watching you ride her fingers “I’m so close els” Ellie’s fingers sped up. “There we go” Ellie praises you she lets you ride out your high on her fingers and once you’re done she grinning ear to ear “nothing was gonna happen huh?” She says being all cocky you had nothing to say you couldn’t say anything you were fucked dumb.

Tags!!

@mattm1964 @cattjull @loveyru @abbysleftbicepp @quillzsstuff @sophsstarsxm @bready101

[chuuyasheaven]

Hi im back☺️☺️ can i request prompt 2 with (who would have guessed) chuuya? I just couldnt resist after that last smut like HOLY shit i reread it every morning😭 Take your time and remember to stay hydrated💛

ᴘʀᴏᴍᴘᴛ; 02 : Brat taming

sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ; Chuuya has been pretty busy lately, and his needy girlfriend is being bratty abt it. This leads up to him taking you against the table. <3

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs; mean!dom!Chuuya, sub!bratty!fem!reader, fucking on a table with Chuuya, degrading kink (f!recieving), ooc!Chuuya (ig), slight spanking, kinda fingering, petnames (such as slut, baby, whore, etc.), porn without *any* plot, basically me in heat /j, etc.

ɴᴏᴛᴇs; This is a draft bcs i can. So take this while i have to take a break, i just suffer from major daddy issues right now lol. Also, this was from my new year event, enjoy! ( 5-6 months later; felt horny for Chuuya so take this while i prepare myself for a exam!!)

“Such a fuckin' brat for attention, huh?”, Chuuya tsked at you.

He had such a stressful day, just to come home to you whining and annoying him further.

Chuuya just needed to somehow ‘relief’ all that stress!

“I’m s-sorry, Chuuya!”, you said just for him to spank you.

“I don’t wanna hear it.”, he hissed.

You were being spanked on the table, bent over of course, while still having your panties on.

All his spanks just kept you wet for him.

Even though you still had some undergarments on, you could tell there was gonna be a slight hand print.

“Now, bend over for me, just where i can see you perfectly, understood?”, Chuuya commanded you, with a slightly strict tone.

Not wanting to piss him off more, you just bent over as far as you could, just how he wanted.

Waiting for his next move, you felt him rip off your panties.

But those were your favorite!

“C-Chuuya! Those were my favorites?!”, you felt his hand wrap around your neck from behind, it wasn’t too harsh, but it wasn’t very soft too.

“I can always buy you more. Now, do you want me to fuck you or do you want me to just leave you like that?”, he whispered into your ear, sneakily having his gloveless fingers tease your wet pussy.

This made you even more desperate for him, even wetting his fingers with more of your slick.

“You don’t want me to leave you so wet for me, do you? It would be such a shame, y’know?”, now he was just teasing you. For what even? To beg? As if!

“N-no..p-please, fuck me, Chuuya.. I-i need you!”, he felt a small smirk creep up his lips.

“What was that? Was it my slut begging for me to fuck her brains out?”, Chuuya never disappointed with his dirty talk, did he?

He knows what he’s doing, he just wants to frustrate you!

But it’s fair, afterall all your whining got you here..

“J-just do it already..”, you weakly said, starting to grow impatient.

“I know you can beg more nicely than that, baby.”, Chuuya denied you even further.

“C-come on, p-please, Chuuya..stop t-teasing me, I’m r-really sorry!”, you could feel yourself on the edge of desperate tears.

“Awe, my poor princess is about to cry, isn’t she? Well, if you want it, who am i to deny you?”, finally, he was gonna take you!

“But since you’ve been such a brat, i won’t go easy on you..”, i don’t care, just fuck me like the whore i am!

You heard Chuuya take off his belt, feeling relief washing over you.

When he removed his boxers, you felt him entering. Since he’s not that cruel, he’s gonna wait a few seconds before pushing in completely.

It was finally time, he started to thrust into you, just like he said before, not particularly soft..

His pace was fast and rough, which was amazing, but kinda overwhelming, but you asked for this.

“Consider me nice enough to even fuck you like this..”, Chuuya said while ruthlessly fucking you into oblivion.

“F-fuck! F-feels so good..”, you chanted, obviously already cock drunk.

“You’re already so drunk of my cock, aren’t you? Fucking slut.”, yes, it was mean, but it was just the truth!

Honestly, nobody should blame you.

You slowly felt your high approach, feeling your knot build up.

You felt Chuuya’s hitched breathing and whimpers against your ears, while he was holding your tits.

“Fuck, ‘m so fuckin’ close..”, you were getting pretty close too.

“Tell me, who’s fuckin’ slut are you?”, you better still have the ability to answer this question.

“Y-yours! I’m your slut, only you fuck me like this..”, you answered, slurring these words.

“Damn right, nobody can slut you out like i can, understood?”

Something just snapped guys.

[leclerking]

max x reader (you)

enemies to lovers slow burn or fast burn idk idc

write a self indulgent fic when you're drunk

slayyyyyy im drink rn girlie lets write some fan fictionnnn

do i make this aesthetic? ok maybe i make it aesthrtic

MV01 | ★ BRO WHATS YOUR NAEM?

so its a clubbing scene. im drinking as usual. i want to dance but my friends arent dancers. they're also tired. a man comes up to me and i instantly want to rail him.

he says " you wannt to dance?? ' i said " Yeah dude all night' . so we're on teh dance floor and we're dancing and my friends are at a distance somehwer in the club

then i fall tired so i left to ge t a drink and join my friends, just as i sit down with them, this man. built like a tree. same one from earlier comes back and says lets dance again come on. i was tired but he was handsome so i wen back to dance. then again i was tired so i came bk. and so did he. "come onnn the night is young lets go back" he pleads with a huggee smile. as if he slept with a hanger in his mouth

"dude WHO EEVN ARE YOU AND HOW DO YOU STILL HAVE THE ENERGY??' i asked as i was close to passing out. (just like rite now while i amm typing this)

but he just smiles and takes my hand and i follow him and we're again having fun on the dance floor. soon enough i couldnt do tjis anymore so i tell my friends that we can leave. and we'er sitting on a bemch outside waiting for our uber AND GUESS WHO SHOWS UP!

"you want to catch a drink later someday again?"

i only stare at him. what does he even mean?? " i dont live in this city, i'm here for like 5 days. also WHO ARE YOU i still domtknow your name yet!! how will i even find you??'

'so u do want to find me? " he smirks " if we have one last dance left togther, maybe we will find eachother " and with that he left.

------------------------- im so tired im going to continue this when im drunk mext time i hop e i dont forget the storu--------------------------

HI I DDI NOT FORGET WE ARE BACK HELLO!

OKAY so now this is probably the next day or the day before we leave the city (i dont know which citty)

im in the lobby with my friends, just back from a whole tiresome day of site watching ? seeing?? the city. im waiting to get something frm the recption and i hear his voice.

" you're here??" "omg dude are you stalking me ?????" i ask with a smile! LIKE WHY AM I SMILING ??!!

" nope. my friend actually lives hre. i came to drop her off "

" you have a girlfriend?" "would not you like to know??"

" nvm i dont, bye"

"okay wait, shes just a friend, and besides i came to drop her AND her boyfriend." and idk what to say, i wanna ask him out but whats the point ill leave tomorrow...

" would you like to go out today? i know this really really great place that has a great salsa night..." not like the dip like the dance!

"sure i'd love that" why am i brushing like an idiot. i told him i'd meet him down in just a few minutes. and sooner than later we were at this beautiful place, you could see the coast. so many people were dacing through tje entire street.

and then so were we. one mimosa after another. one song after another and we were both super drunk and laughing anf giggling and dancing and just having the greatest time ever.

and we continued to have a great time even after we got back to my room. im sure we had great sex. and we wer arguing about something i dont remmbr and having a roast contest. thats all i remembr.

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

because when i woke up, he was gone. not a single trace. no note, nothing... AND I STILL DIDNT KNOW HIS NAME. was he just a ghost? perhaps my drunk imagination or halusination...

went down for breakfast and met my friends. and they asked me about last night. AND I ASKED THEM FOR CONFIRMATION " SO I WASNT THE ONLY ONE WHO COULD SEE HIM??"

maybe he was real.. but i had to leave in a few hours. maybe he would just have to remain a core memmory to me in this city. and it sucks because he has the cutest smile, and the best energy when it came to dancing.

the whole time, in the taxi, the airport , the flight.. okay maybe no tthe flight because i usually fall asleeep. i thought about him and waht a wonderful time we had.

would i ever see him again??

------------------------

I want to take this time annd appretiate some of my friends or moods as they say on thos web site. It is 3 am her

@crimsonicarus @lesharl-eclair @sebsore @sebscore @jelloecat @hellocat? @jelliecatz @scuderia-leclerc starcentral @strkctrl @stqrsctrl @deadaydreams @fhumingrace you guys salllaayyyyyyy 💗🤍💕❤���💔💌❤️‍🩹💟❤️‍🔥🫦💋

OH WAIT AND @KRIKRISYERR I for the lyf of me caaannot spell this useeename but they give me the best f1 fic recs

This account has lit rally Turner into my safe space 😭😭😭😭😭💗💗💗💗

[skullvgirl]

happy harem days | bllk

incl. isagi, bachira, kunigami, chigiri

warnings. fem reader, suggestive themes, reader and copany are 21+

an's. this is the first time ive an aged up reader on this blog lol. i've recently been big on polycules also (if u couldnt tell what was happening in this drabble btw )

" nooo !! release me you fiend, i've done nothing of the sort ! " you shouted, in a drunken state weakly beating on isagi's chest.

gosh this is embarrassing he thought. i mean, not for you of course, blabbering and loud you didn't care what anyone was thinking of you at the moment.

"it was a bad idea, bringing her out—getting her all drunk like this, it was a bad idea." kunigami stated, bachira nodding his head along with him.

and it was

i mean, it's started out ok. sure whats the harm in the five of you going out for few drinks at the bar, really whats the worse that could happen?

and again, it was fine untill you were screaming at the top of your lungs very private information too the public, not a care in the world.

but really its not your fault, you told them you couldn't hold your liquor very well...

"oh come one YN, don't be that way" chigiri probed, he loved seeing you tipsy the most. the way your hair would stick to your face under the low light—sheen with sweat from singing and dancing you clung too him the most, it was like heaven on earth.

"mmm, okay...but don't say anything if I start yelling...i've been told i like too yell..."

and so you were, even with the music blasting people could still hear your calls. "YN's GOT A SECRET AND SHE CAN BARLEY KEEP IT, SHE CANT WAIT TOO SPILL THAT HER FRIENDS ARE VERY ILL"

eventually they had had enough, the looks of 'can-you-shut-her-the-help-up' began to turn into 'are-you-safe and do-you-know-these-men looks.

main 4 polycule no likey

and so they finally, FINALLY took you out of the building and into the car where it would've been quiet had your screaming stopped.

isagi had had enough

"yn if you dont be quiet im going too make kunigami, fuck the silence outta you"

and just like that.

no more noise.

although it wasn't exactly an unpleasant threat, and you were ages past being sobered up. ages.

you began screaming again, only this time it wasn't because of the alcohol.

[camryntheking]

Season 5 reaction

5x01 and Buck and Eddie are already acting like a married couple lmao. But i can understand where the panic attack Eddie had came from. Buck is now just like a concerned husband

5x02 and Clipboard Buck! I love Clipboard Buck! And naturally the way to Buck’s heart is through the kids in his life. He is so precious. And he immediately picked up on Eddie’s panic when Ravi assumed Ana was Eddie’s wife. And then in the firetruck when Buck is talking about the zoo we learn that Buck takes Chris there all the time. Buck is Chris’ dad, and no one can tell me otherwise lol. And Eddie looks so proud. And Bobby is such a dad. Love him. And him and Athena are so cute together

Also, Eddie breaking up with Ana? That scene was also done well. And Eddie acknowledged that he was stringing her along, which is great. Terrible that he did it, but great that he admitted to it

And i just wanna point out that Kenny is such an amazing actor. The emotion he conveys during this whole arc of Maddie leaving is just… whew. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻. Also, i should have known that Buck knew. I do get Chim’s frustration. The punch shocked me ngl. But, i can see why he did it. I dont think punching was the answer, but like i said. I see why it happened. And naturally Eddie is the one he calls for help the next day. They are husbands your honor

5x05. I LOVE RAVI. “Probie, if you’re gonna vomit do it somewhere else.” “Copy!” *Scurries off.* I love him lmao

And Buck’s panic in 5x06 when he hears the gun shot. He immediately feared that Eddie had been shot again and ran out as fast as he could. And Bobby getting breakfast with Ravi 😭. I love Dad Bobby moments. And speaking of dads, Eddie and Chris 🥹. He loves his kid so much and my heart cant handle it

And Michael wanting to propose to David in 5x08!! The whole montage of the rings and outfits is so funny and i love them so much. And im so happy David said yes!!

The scene in 5x09 where May walks into Bobby and Athena is also fucking hilarious. And Bobby’s little shuffle to the bedroom is just so quirky. And then when he goes “why does this keep happening to you?” Then interrupts Buck and says “No. I’m gonna tell you why.” Bobby is Buck’s dad and i love him so much for it

And later Buck called Eddie out for watching telenovelas and it was so domestic. And Eddie was eating up the drama between Clive and Toni. He just loves it lol. And the episode made me dislike Taylor less. But i really feel like Buck said The Words just cos she did. I dont feel like they were genuine. That might just be me tho

Then in 5x10, Eddie is decorating with Chris and he is just doing as Chris says cos he wants him to be happy and im just melting. This man loves his kid so much and it just makes me so happy. Then Hen’s “baby’s first Christmas” comment to Buck made me chuckle, then I got distracted by the Appa plushie that someone handed Bobby. I love my flying bison sm. And Taylor asked Bobby if Buck would like the sweaters! Everyone knows that Bobby is Buck’s dad! And later Eddie is talking to Buck about Chris’ nightmare. Husbands. They both love their kid so much

Eddie looks so miserable at the beginning of 5x11 ☹️. Baby boy just wants to be fighting fires with his boyfriend. But dinner with Eddie, Chris, Buck, and Taylor kinda surprised me honestly. But ig it makes sense. “You dont need to pretend with me.” Ok. Imma cry now. Thats so sweet wtf. But he misses the 118 and feels left out and i feel for him. Also, drunk Buck is so funny lmao. And Hen is like another sister.

I can understand that Eddie is frustrated that Bobby isn’t letting him back into the 118 yet, but bringing up Bobby’s past like that was totally uncalled for

Im glad that Buck finally told Taylor about the kiss in 5x13, but i didnt even think about how he was kinda trapping her so she couldnt leave, which is. Not great. But i guess they are wanting to work through it so thats good. But the ending with Eddie’s breakdown made me wanna cry. He is going through so much and he wants to get better but he keeps hitting rough patches. But having Buck there to support him and Chris is so sweet and i love that Buck is willing to have those hard convos with Eddie.

And the breakfast scene in 5x14 with Chris and Eddie? These two have a special place in my heart and i cannot handle it lmao. And of course i type that only for it to be a nightmare 😭. But father figure Bobby also has my heart. And the scene with the heart drawings. So domestic

And Karen in 5x15 is so cute. “To catch a thief!” I love her lmao. And Eddie is learning from therapy! Im so proud of him! And Buck was giving total puppy energy during the wedding call. I love him so much.

And in 5x16 Bobby called May his kid!! Excuse me while i cry. And the Eddie/Linda friendship is just so, idk, refreshing? Idk if that is a good word for it but i really like the idea of him being friends with everyone at dispatch. My boy needs to get out there lol. Josh is also such a flustered homosexual and like. Me too. And Eddie was so ready to be back in firefighter mode. Buck being completely clueless about what to not say to a patient then Eddie just. Shaking his head. And May calls Bobby her dad 😭😭😭

5x17: Buck messing with Chris’ dinosaur while Eddie is packing, man there is just something so domestic about it. And the Chim and Hen friendship is so funny i love it so much. And i just really dislike Taylor. Also i know that we call Buck the golden retriever, but Eddie looked like such a kicked puppy when we was talking to his dad. But im glad they had a conversation and they want to do better

5x18: Im glad to see Eddie acknowledging how bottling things up isnt good, even if its in his joking manner. “I dont have your bone structure. I could never pull it off.” Bro im DEAD. Thats so funny to me. And my boy Ravi. Talking about having a partner is about knowing that they will have your back. Buck, takes notes. Cos who’s back did you promise to have? Hmm?? Then Buck talks about partners being at their lowest together and still working together and growing together. If that isnt foreshadowing idk what is. And Eddie is back at the 118!! Obviously i knew it was gonna happen but im still happy

And thats that for season 5! I dont really have any other additional thoughts, just that with things that happened in season 7, it just feels like there was some foreshadowing for Buddie. But i think we all know that

As always, feel free to discuss!

[mrsnancywheeler]

dude my billy brainrot is so bad rn!

anyways, ok so the band and muse go to a party, and this time billy is in a good mood and is obsessed with her. hes being really clingy and is just so in love with her. but then eddie starts flirting with her and says "you could do so much better than him". billy finds out and him and eddie almost get in a fist fight. but after eddie and billy almost fight billy goes to his muse and is all like "im sorry baby, i couldnt handle what he was saying, i really hope you know that i love you" and they fuck. but then the next day he is avoiding her a bunch and getting touchy with the other groupies and she is like "should i have listened to eddie?" i feel like this would happen earlier in their relationship before muse knows the cycle her and billy always go through

-🦋

billy dunne is literally my life

you're basically wrapped around billy the entire night, you both do a line off of each other, share drinks, it's like he's in a haze of just being entranced by you. he cannot stop kissing you, his arms wrapped securely around you, you're basically on his lap all night.

"I'm gonna write you a whole album, baby." and the feeling of his voice so near your neck makes you giggle which just makes him smile, "what?"

you shake your head smiling, "nothing." he keeps looking at you expectantly which makes you laugh again, "nothing! billy, I just-"

"you don't believe me? oh, that's what this is, you don't think I'm telling the truth!" somehow he's holding you tighter, his smile, the way he jokes makes your head fuzzy, well so does the drinks, but he does a number on you. the way he laughs, smiles, it's addictive.

"no, no, no, I do, I swear, scout's honor!"

"I think that only applies to actual boy scouts, baby."

"shut up" you kiss him and his lips make you dizzy, just as yours make him. when you finally pull apart he's just holding your face for a while.

"god, you're stunning, do I tell you that a lot? because you're so pretty. can I do another line off of you?"

you just rasp out a, "yes" and you've forgotten how public you are really at a party when you let him adjust you enough to do a line of your cleavage.

"let me go get us another drink, baby, I'll be right back."

"okay." you're smiling, adjusting your shirt as he squeezes your hand before he's off. no sooner is he gone then eddie is appearing

"he's only being that way for now, you know" he's drunk, you know he is to be so openly digging at billy like that.

"eddie-"

"two weeks ago he was doing lines off of some other chick's rack-"

"he didn't mean that eddie."

"he didn't mean what he did?"

"he fucked up, it was a mistake, eddie, it doesn't change anything."

"you don't deserve that." eddie is leaning closer over the couch rest, "you deserve better than him, the first guy you saw at the concert."

you stare back at him for a while, "eddie, if you think you could treat me so much better, you'd let me enjoy my night. which I was."

"one night is all he'll give you before he decides you're not that special anymore-"

"what the hell are you talking about, man?" billy is making his reappearance and you know eddie must be even more drunk when you thought when he doesn't even really try to cover.

"use your imagination." and eddie's words have barely escaped his mouth when billy's punched him in the face. eddie stumbles back for a second, but punches billy back and you've leapt up to get between them. and eddie's looking at you, shaking his head like he's done, and walking out. "whatever, man"

"eddie!" you're shouting, but he's gone, and you have other things to worry about. "billy, oh my god are you okay?"

"I'm fine, god, we need to find a new fucking bassist"

"don't do that, gimme your hand." you're looking at his knuckles and he's entranced by the way your brows furrow. "you can't just punch someone everytime they bruise your ego." his hand is suddenly moving to tilt your chin up, where he's smiling in disbelief.

"baby, that's not why I punched him." you're unamused by this. "I'm serious! baby, I did it because he was talking about you. acting like I didn't care about my girl. the girl I love."

"you love me?"

he looks dumbfounded by the question, "I just write all my songs about you, you basically live with me, I need you like air, so yeah, I do."

"that's good because I am so in love with you."

"this would be pretty awkward if you didn't." and next thing you know he's got you back at the house, laying on his bed as he proves it to you, it's really not fucking, it's raw, it's love making, and he makes you feel so appreciated.

that's until you wake up, and he pulls himself away just when you try to put an arm on him when you've woken up. he gets up, showers without a word, gets dressed, only says morning back when you say it, and walks out of the room. suddenly you feel like a one night stand, someone he never wants to see again, and there's a pit in your stomach. he knows it's because saying love has scared him, but he can't communicate that, he's just got to be destructive.

breakfast is him laying out instructions for everyone, moving away every time you try to get close, at some point you try to take a drag off his cigarette and he looks unbelievably annoyed which just shuts you down. and the ride to the studio is unbearably quiet, it makes you want to cry the way he doesn't acknowledge you.

it's gets worse at the studio when he doesn't acknowledge you at all and during a break is talking to the groupies, laughing, doing lines, having a drink, hands on them, and you do a line to deal with it before sitting back in the emoti studio so you don't have to deal with it. it's so fucking confusing. you're laying on the studio carpet when eddie walks in, looks at you, and lays down too.

you feel the energy of 'i told you so' radiating off of him, "eddie-"

"are you okay?"

there's a beat, "he told me loved me last night." another beat, "is this what it feels like to be loved?"

and he's rolling onto his side to look at you, "no."

you wish you didn't start crying, "then what did I do wrong since then? why is he doing this to me, I don't know why I'm not good enough."

"you are, he's too fucking stupid to notice what he's got right if front of him." and he's lighting a cigarette, handing it to you, "let's go to the record store, find something to listen to later. we can use my record player, you know it sounds better on mine."

and you do exactly that and wonder if maybe this is what it feels like to be loved, but it doesn't take away the desire your soul has for billy dunne. even if it makes you think that eddie could love you better.

[caroldantops]

valcarol interrupted mid-play bc carol needs to go save the universe but she was super in subspace and val couldn’t quite bring her out so instead she has to instruct her to go.

‘c’mon princess, that’s it, get your suit on for me honey. you’re gonna go save the world then you’re gonna come right back here to me, you understand?’

she may or may not have been edging carol before she got the call and decided to give her some incentive

she also may or may not have ‘forgotten’ to take out the plug snuggled in carol’s ass.

‘silly me, princess. it’s okay, it’ll be a nice reminder of who you belong to, wont it?’

carol goes off and saves the world and crumbles into vals arms when she returns.

‘it’s okay pretty girl, i know how big and strong you had to be… it’s okay to not be big now, let daddy take care of you now..’

idk the more i think on that scene the more that little!carol is making sense. carol who will only let herself be vulnerable with her daddy and carol who will either be the strongest person in the universe or a tiny baby who needs val to cut her food up and cuddle her at night and braid her hair…

tell me why i was about to give a lecture on dont do this!! as if NEEDING to leave midsession because theres a universal crisis is something yall would have happen

im fucking obsessed. i just. thinking about the intensity of the drop after makes me so emo because theres zero chance this happens without carol having SEVERE subdrop and i think val would go through some domdrop as well. feeling like she put carol in a position where she couldnt fight her best and therefore was endangering her more...

before my very long ramble starts - as far as little!carol goes, im on the fence! i think she'd really enjoy some parts of it and others not so much. i could be won over though im sure. yall know its my weakness.

um this turned into a thinkpiece about valcarol dom/subdrop. sorry.

carol having to go from feeling powerless to powerful and and just the fact that she submits to valkyrie in order to get away from that responsibility that burden only to have that safe space be invaded by one simple phone call that she could hear valkyrie try so hard to get her out of, yelling at fury that he should call someone else up, she'd go find thor herself if needed but no dice.

carol is able to yank herself out of subspace to fight, what choice does she have, shes basically in survival mode at that point and doesnt even really know whats going on until shes landed back in valkyrie's arms. sobbing and grabbing onto her and valkyrie choked up seeing carol so so upset and overwhelmed

valkyrie keeping it together as best she can to comfort carol enough, help her bathe and get her something to eat and clean up any injuries, til carol passes out from pure exhaustion. val making sure carol's fast asleep before pulling away from her in bed and wanting to go for her alcohol stash but she knows carol might need her again so she doesnt want to get drunk so she just goes and stands in the kitchen for a bit, gripping the counter and steadying her breathing and she can feel tears coming but fuck she doesnt want them--

and then she feels arms around her waist, a small still raspy from crying voice asking "hey, whats wrong?"

valkyrie finally crying but that kind of crying you get when youre mad that youre crying and carol's just listening to her ramble about how she shouldnt have let carol go, it was stupid of her to let her run out like that without taking more time to try to bring her up from subspace

carol kissing the palms of valkyries hands, kissing her cheeks and touching their foreheads together. "it wasn't ideal. it was hard. but you did all you could. and im okay. im safe. we're both safe. okay?"

"okay." valkyrie nods and wraps her arms tight around carol.

definitely takes them a while to feel comfortable entering an intense play-space after that. worried about if carol or valkyrie gets called away again. but once they feel secure again they start workshopping precautions to take. slowly work their way back up to playing again, ask other kink friends for advice. come out of it with safety plans and a stronger bond.

yeah sorry i have a LOT of thoughts and feelings about this clearly!!

[jessefadenfbc]

You know something I haven’t seen that I’m really surprised I haven’t seen, drunk Jesse Fadden head cannons, you got any of those?

OHOHOHOHOHO im glad you asked!!

Jesse is a LIGHTWEIGHT. She cannot hold her alcohol at allllll. One glass of wine and shes gone laskjdklad

When Jesse’s drunk, she’s extremely giggly. 

She also schemes

And by that i mean she tries to pull pranks and shit

Shes the one to draw a sharpie mustache on the passed out drunk guys

When she gets to the FBC, normally thats Arish

Sometimes when she got drunk before finding the Bureau, she’d hook up with a random guy just to feel something

She would also steal some of their food

When she gets to the FBC, she suggests karaoke

Emily is like “ayo what” and Arish is 10000% down

Jesse and Dylan go up on the stage and sing together

Mostly rock songs from their childhood

She tries dragging Emily up too

But emilys shy saldkjsakljd

She DOES get Arish up there tho and theyre just chaotic best friends the entire time

BONUS: Emily takes Jesse home (before Jesse gets an apartment of her own; Dylan has been staying with Arish bc i ship them) and Jesse suddenly gets really shy

Emilys like “hey you alright?” but Jesses like “i think i have a crush on you but i dont want to ruin our friendship so im scared to tell you and sleep in the same bed as you”

She said that out loud btw

And emilys like :O 

But theyre both drunk 

So they dont like. Do anything

Jesse is lowkey sobering up at this point but still dizzy as they lie down

Anyway i love these two if u couldnt tell

Also, Jesse makes Bad Decisions when shes drunk

By bad decisions i mean she’d get a tattoo while drunk

the end

Thats all i got for now ksajdklasjdalk thanks for the ask!!!

[navire190413]

haha i got drunk and wrote like 2,000 words about my experience with learning japanese. read it sober and just sat in front of my computer like 😐

you know when old people talk a lot and sometimes its hard to tell if they’re trying to pass on wisdom or are just kind of full of themselves and want to talk about themselves? what i wrote was definitely the latter. i’m just an おじいさん who wants to drink and smoke and talk about myself and my hard work lol

one of my favorite 居酒屋 to visit on my way home from work is closing for good this weekend. its open 24/7 so it was always great for stopping by after drinking at the bar until morning. their squid and shrimp 串カツ are soooo good. i’m actually here now typing this on my phone. this izakaya is in a basement so i don’t have signal. i just end up scrolling through my photos or blogging in my notes while sitting here alone for an hour until my favorite bar opens at 7.

the last time i came here a server ive become acquainted with hit on me, and i didn’t pick up on it at all, so my reaction was kind of dull. i only realized he was hitting on me when he turned around and all the other servers were laughing at him bc they were all eavesdropping. he probably mentioned he was gonna do it beforehand haha. i’m so sorry. i would be totally down to grab drinks if i realized sooner 😂

he always makes me turn around and show him my backpiece when im wearing tanktops and croptops. and hes always basically yelling カッコいい！！its cute how not normal tattoos are here. i would never get these reactions in america but sometimes it can be annoying. yes yes i have a lot of tattoos. yes. expensive. yes painful. and then they find out about my scarification, which honestly most people in the states have also never seen, so then its a weird balance of explaining my love for body modification and not self mutilation.

money has gotten TIGHT lately. im literally courting my ex and bringing him to izakayas and nice restaurants every week and im going broke from it so i gotta stop hahaha. we did have a really good time last night, though. and hes always really grateful and respectful when im paying. he also initiated a lot of kisses and kept kissing my cheeks last night which was weird and not like him at all. im not gonna think about it anymore tho.

i am super excited about where we’re going on saturday. its an 青森県 restaurant and i guess they get fish delivered daily from there, so i hope its super fresh and tasty 😤. i unfortunately booked too late and couldnt get a private room, but i think sitting at the counter will be nice since we’re doing the all-you-can-drink course and itll be faster to get our drinks if we’re not in a secluded room.

my go-to drink for the past 2 years living here has always been highballs, but lately theyre way too strong for me. ive become obsessed with lemon sours, but because its not whiskey in them like highballs i become drunk super super fast. good for cost performance purposes but dangerous since im used to my highball drinking pace. i usually dont black out if i only drink for 2-3 hours on a work night but the other day i drank my usual amount, just this time they were lemon sours and not highballs. i was on the verge of blacking out returning home at only 9pm on a monday 😂

i can’t stop thinking about the guy who asked me to be his girlfriend two weeks ago. he’s american and he’s nice enough, but he’s been living in japan for over a year and cant even say すみません to get a server’s attention. he also doesnt eat meat, so i cant introduce him to yakiniku and yakitori which are my go-to. everytime we hungout i had to translate everything and guide him around tokyo. i brought him to an izakaya for his first time and had to teach him the words for squid and octopus. which he promptly forgot 2 minutes later. its literally taco and ika!!! we got lost in a department store one time and i had to ask for directions while he just stood there. it always felt like i was with a child who knew nothing when we were together. as friends, im more than happy to introduce tokyo and translate. but as someone who was obviously trying to be appealing to me, it was honestly a massive ick. i have no preference when it comes to what ethnicity or cultural background someone is, but i cant date someone who knows less about japan than me. it was a good realization actually! i always say i dont have a type, but i think im slowly starting to realize my type. he doesnt have friends so he would always say “lets go out and explore tokyo together!”dude i have been experiencing tokyo for 2 years. i have my favourite spots and my favourite neighborhoods and i know how to find good restaurants and i regularly go out and just do shit by myself because i can navigate it by myself. he also was expecting me to teach him japanese which was just soooo….

when you get to a level where you’ve lived somewhere long enough and can speak the language a lot of people expect you to be a free tour guide. when it comes to strictly friends with no expectation of me, im more than happy to plan a day of sightseeing and introductions but sometimes when i make friends with foreigners it feels like that’s all they want out of me. i mean it goes both ways. a lot of japanese men just view me as a fetish object. omg a white girl who i can actually speak to!!! maybe she can teach me english!!! ive never fucked a 6 foot tall white girl with tattoos!!!

for my established friends, i happily translate stuff for them and give them english lessons but man it feels like theres a lot of expectations of me meeting people here. from foreigners and native japanese people.

i have a lot of foreign friends who have lived here longer than me and dont speak a lick of japanese and dont have any plans on learning. i dont really feel one way or the other about it. theyve been here long enough and know they can get around and have fun without knowing the language. i cant imagine how tough that is sometimes so more power to them. but its always the people complaining they want to learn and want to understand and communicate but still for some reason just dont sit down and study or make an effort to make japanese friends so they can atleast pick up conversational japanese that i dont understand. why are you not studying???? sure its hard but just do it??? you dont even have to use textbooks. apps kind of suck once you get past the basics but its at least something you can do while riding the train and then atleast i wouldnt have to order for you at the bar after youve been living here for several months!!!

im a princess and a brat and am obsessive so studying is super easy for me. i studying during my lunch breaks and anytime im riding the train. i understand thats not the case for everyone, so i try to take the time to teach my friends who want to learn japanese important phrases for day to day life. maybe textbooks and studying isnt their thing, which is fine. okay i’ll teach you as we go. but even then they dont retain anything 😂 dont complain to me about not being able to speak japanese if you’re not going to put in a little bit of effort to atleast order a beer by yourself!!!! and if youre over thinking the difference between ください and お願いします before you can even say [名前]と申します, youre thinking too much!!!!! japanese is hard. theres a lot of info. if you start getting into super specific japanese before you can do self introductions, its gonna be a long long road. so im super happy i learned japanese in america where i went textbook step by step instead of being surrounded by confusing japanese all day long. when i try to teach my friends japanese they always somehow ask me about n2 grammar. and its just like. stop. ignore that. that does NOT have anything to do with you at this time. i was N2 before N3 grammar even made sense to me (i did get full points on n3 test despite none of it making sense to me though 😂) because i finally had context for it and could make the connections. without those building blocks and going step by step id be lost. and thats why you should study the language before coming to a foreign country.

god im judgmental.

[draculeo]

hi this is so random but i need to wax poetic. you have no obligation to reply to this. also i do not mean this in a parasocial way at ALL lmao i recognize that idk you trust. i first found ur blog in 2020 as a eighth grader in lockdown that was completely lost. i had lost my uncle to covid during that time and went from being a stellar student to receding into my shell and watching my grades tank. my shit home situation and undiagnosed depression led to me sinking into any form of escapism possible, mainly thru the form of books. i was super obsessed with perry johnson LMAO at the time and had all the time in the world to look into the fandom. this was around the time the unnamed author was just, like, violently and belligerently racist and scathing to any fans that questioned otherwise. being a tumblrina, i went to this site to see people comment on this, only to find you and ur mutuals were the only people openly discussing how he was just plain vile. i remember how sickened i felt seeing how you and other people of color were getting doxxed and threatened for pointing out what i thought was incredibly obvious. as a rlly sheltered person of color, this was the first time it struck me that the world was lying about how much they were actually willing to stick up for us, as before that i was just stupidly optimistic. anyways bc of that i started checking ur blog like EVERYDAY because of how much your words resonated with me. i was in complete awe of just how witty you were, and how you took no shit from people. granted this was a defense mechanism from crazy ass white fandom bitches but it was still weirdly inspiring. i still remember seeing u pull out the yale trap card so often and being like, oh shit this girl is something else lol thats hysterical. for the rest of high school i would keep up to date with u and specifically ur writing and poetry on promethes. kal i need you to realize your words actually rearranged my brain. the poems about your great grandfather, your mother, your pos friend, of being a horror, to love and to be loved is rest, everything EVERYTHING is etched into my memory. i really feel like i stumbled onto the modern fucking plato or something. anyways my critical thinking skills and love of poetry both are strongly influenced by you. i used to be the kind of person that hated everything and couldnt bear the thought of tolerating this world for another second. but your unyielding positivity and optimism, and insistence that kindness being the more difficult choice is inherently more radical really changed me. ik u didnt invent that or yadda yadda but u really made it seem real. im still learning to take each day slower, to breathe in a little deeper, but the beauty of so many things i previously dismissed is so obvious to me now. that post you made about you and ur mutuals educating a whole generation is so true lol. so just thank you. honestly thank u thank u thank you from the bottom of my heart. im a senior now who just submitted my yale application tonight and thought of you and im a little drunk right now so i think thats why i wrote this whole ass essay but just. like idk. u changed me and idek know you. i made my friend who got into princeton a trap card bc urs was so inspiring lol. anyways i truly hope you have a peaceful happy life and a good night. your soul is really such a beautiful thing and you deserve the world pls never settle for anything less

idc if it’s parasocial i love u and want the best for u and know u will go far and i almost doxxed myself by telling u the city i live in so u could look me up if you’re ever here lol. ik im a stranger or whatever but im proud of u idc ur like my adopted little sibling now. also @taumoeba yale card inspiring generations

[chaifootsteps]

The other day i was watching how people made fun of the Hazbin trailer and someone uploaded a clip from "Inside Every demon is a Rainbow" to say it was a downgrade and my jaw dropped when i saw that it was true, i always thoght that the "new" H.H had something that made it look worse than the pilot but i couldn't put my finger on it, and now i think i understand the reson.

So, these are the reasons why the new clip looks like a downgrade (in my opinion):

1)The Song.

No matter your opinion on Hazbin, we all agree that "Inside of every demon is a rainbow" is an iconic song. Its not a masterpiece, but it works really great to introduce the show. Maybe its nostalgia talking, but i love this song, i really like how it start slow but then goes into a fast catchy tune as Charlie is talking with enthusiasm about her proyect. The voice actress also is doing an amazing song because she sounds SO energetic and genuine, wich is clearly a sign of how much she loved that job. Its a cringe song, but in a "charming" and pure way, that is very unique and enjoyable when you turn off your brain a little.

Meanwhile, the new one sounds like a generic, forgetable, lifeless Disney song, the only difference is that it has curses and shit. Its like its trying to replicate the other one without understanding what made it so loved.

2) The damn camera movements

The pilot was fast moving, energetic and sometimes there were parts where you couldnt tell what was happening until you paused, but even so, it was easier to digest because the camera was still most of the time, it didnt need crazy movements. There was a million things happening on screen, but at leats the camera had slight movements so your eyes could at least know where your focus should be in (check out the "so all you cartoon porn addictions" part to see what im talking about).

The new one? It shakes and zooms like crazy every time a character takes a step and it makes it hard to the eyes to understand where the fuck they should be looking. Its not even funny, someone WILL get motion sickness.

3) The character designs

Im one of those people who didnt like most of the redesigns, now i understand why: because they dont fix ANY of the problems the original ones had: no less use of red, they still have a shit ton of unecesary details, they still have copypasted body types...

I would say some are WORSE.

Take Charlie, for example; she used to wear a light red shirt with black pants, she would blend a little bit in the background when interacting with it. Now she wears a bright red suit in bright red background and she gets lost EVEN MORE. The only thing they improved was her hairstyle.

4) The animation

Some people say that the animation is good and its just the editing that makes it look bad, but i disagree. Just take a look at the pilot and then the new clip, you will see a clear downgrade.

The old animation was so smooth and expressive, new one is choppy and is afraid of smearframes. Making characters with cartoony propotions look so stiff.

Its like those Sonic games when they used motion capture to animate Sonic and his friends. So they would be literal cartoons animals moving like realistic humans and it sucked.

4) The pilot was visually easier to "diggest" in general

I gotta say, while re-watching the clip of Inside of every demon, the only parts where it was hard to follow were when Charlie interacted with characters with exagerated designs and when she is rapping and there are a lot of fast scenes that ends before you have time to understand what you saw. The rest was just ok.

But in the new clip, it was 90% Charlie jumping around different backgrounds with a drunk camera man and in some part i paused to look at the wall cuz i felt like my eyes were gonna burn if i keep looking.

So thats it, there are some other reasons but these are the most important ones.

Sorry for writting too much, its such that im mad for what they did to a proyect i used to be obssesed with.

Anyway, hope Hazbin gets cancelled in the mid of the first season and the rest became lost media, have a good day 🩷

These are some great thoughts, Anon, thank you. New Hazbin doesn't have much appeal to outsiders, but it looks even worse when held up to the pilot.

"Inside Every Demon is a Rainbow" isn't the best song in the pilot, but it was an excellent song to introduce us to Charlie. It's not an easy one to sing either, but Charlie's singing VA nailed it.