#im really bad at articulating what i think haha

[boycaca]

One thing i hate seeing is that people seem to really… wanna remove scara’s autonomy from him? If that makes sense? I see so many people saying that dottore made him join the fatui or that nahida is the reason why scara is getting softer and doing better and its just… so not true.

Scara didnt join the fatui because of dottore. Sure dottore was the person that caused him great anguish at a certain point in his life but that was not scara’s final push into despair and anger. Scara himself decided to abandon his human emotions after a series of “betrayals”. When pierro approached him, scara himself decided to join the fatui purely because they seemed entertaining, not because he was coerced or blackmailed into joining them or something. While dottore’s actions slightly nudged him into the direction that he took, it was by scara’s own volition and choice that he joined them.

And then with the whole headcanon that nahida is some kind of therapist of mother to scara…. I love found family as much as the next guy, but i cant help but groan when people say “found family!” And then put labels such as older brother or auntie on characters bonds. Scara decided to atone for his sins and move forward not because nahida told him to, but because HE himself wanted to do it. Scara is a character that drives his own story forward, if that makes sense. I highly doubt he would have obeyed if nahida or the traveller simply said “you should do better” if he himself did not feel like improving as a person. The memoryless wanderer was the one that wanted his memories back, he was not forced by the traveller or nahida to do what he did, and i feel like that entire arc of inversion of genesis really showed what kind of character scara is, someone who carves his own path, unmoved by what others want of him…

I feel like that headcanon also just really undermines nahida’s own character. Why is this child getting called a therapist, mother or auntie when she herself is still learning about the world after being imprisoned for 500 years?

[gemharvest]

Need to get on top of whatever dumb fucking inferiority complex I got going on I'm tired of looking at everything about myself and going "Wow I am really sub-par." I know it's 2am but this isn't the midnight thoughts talking this is a fucking persistent curse throughout my day.

[oceanwithouthermoon]

i dont know how to articulate this correctly but... sometimes i think about how saiki is so mentally disconnected and isolated from other people, and his powers make it feel impossible to understand them, esp because he hasnt had any faith in humanity since he was a kid (hes also so autistic but shh he probably doesnt know yet)

and so he truly doesnt understand the nuances and complexity of love+friendship+relationships etc... so imagine how confused he could get during times where his relationships get deeper/more complicated

examples ?? (warning for very brief sa+abuse+suicidal thoughts mention in the second one) -

accidentally making one of his friends mad and hearing their thoughts, which are purely from frustration and anger in the moment, about hating and not wanting to be around him.. makes him think they genuinely dont want to be as friend at all anymore, so ONE argument makes him think hes ruined his friendship with them forever and he doesnt think to just apologize, immediately shutting down and just "going away" instead because he thinks thats actually what they want

not understanding why people feel sympathy for him when he talks about tragic things in/about his life, especially when he even dulls it down as to not reveal his powers, (ie: his brother literally trying to murder, humiliate, and borderline sa him OR having one or multiple bullying incidents in elementary school that caused him to lose all his friends and change schools OR saying that the only reason he decidedly hasnt offed himself yet is cuz itd make his mom sad) and mentioning those things a little too casually, then thinking people are trying to pity him and telling the people who are just trying to help to shut the fuck up ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ

^a specific but not quite as angsty one, offhandedly mentioning once that he had a big crush on a guy from another class but he helped set them up with someone else even though it upset him, because he just wanted to see him happy and he never had a chance anyway (bro was def straight too) and his friends being like ...hey thats really sad im sorry you felt like that :(( and him being like ?? whats sad about that. hes happy, and its not like im completely devastated or anything. shut the fuck up.

teruhashi getting over her crush on him and no longer seeking him out as often, and he's immediately upset and confused because now he thinks that she ONLY cared about him when she thought she was going to get something more than friendship from it so he doesnt believe she ever saw him as a true friend..

(similar to the first one, slightly different situation) getting into an argument with one of the friends he sees every single day and still expecting them to at least BE there the next day, and when they arent because theyre avoiding him, his first thought isnt "i should seek them out and apologize" its "wow it was so easy for them to just let go of me, i clearly have formed a dependency and feel like i need them more than they need me. especially now that i know they dont feel the same, i should sever that attachment."

SO YEAH anyway, he genuinely does not believe that he has anyone he can trust enough to actually talk through this stuff with+doesn't even think its that bad so he just sits and tries to feel numb at the bottom of the ocean or on the moon haha what a guy...

[themole]

ah yes im queer yeah i guess u could say im a little "different" than the norm haha xD whats that? yes i do believe seeking constant happiness at every second of the day and failing to reach that deserves mournful yearning rather than acceptance and being happy all the time is a realistic goal for humans EVEN outside of the delusions this society gives you abt how to parse your feelings and find peace,,,, oh, yes i do also indeed believe moralism is absolutely ontological to existence and i think good can only be wholesome happy :) and bad can only be sad or angry mean :( plus i idealize having gay sex one day cuz,,, im gay!!! 👉👉 ;) but im too scared to actually do that, plus i find the imagined idea of having sex really intensely confusing and somewhat repulsive in a way i cant fully articulate and all of this is mostly born out of my subconcious recognition of information given to me about sex from society but ill prolly never internalize an outwardly look well enough to ever free myself from these shackles fully,,,,,,, did i mention im a little bit different? ;) hehe,, im gay!!

[rubykgrant]

(a little thing I wrote for a bigger fic, but I like how absolutely nonsensical Jon and Martin's "meet-cute" was, and now Jon gets to let Martin know the secret dorky side he's been hiding behind his very serious attitude~)

“If you don’t mind me being blunt?”

“By all means,” Jon encourages him.

“When exactly did you start to notice me- that is, notice that you found me attractive?”

“Oh, well… haha, um- that actually happened almost right away…” Jon’s mouth makes that flat little smirk that means he’s mildly embarrassed.

“Right away? Oh, come on…” Martin has trouble believing that.

“No, honestly. Before I really even knew you, before I convinced myself you were the bane of my existence, my very FIRST thought when I saw you was- he’s lovely,”

“You’re just trying to butter me up!” Martin argues, but feels himself blushing. Just barely.

“Hmm, ‘lovely’ was the first WORD that formed in my head. I suppose my other thoughts were less articulate,” Jon doesn’t elaborate on that (only twice had he allowed himself to gush about his early thoughts regarding Martin, which never really went away; once to Georgie, once to Daisy. Georgie had called him a sap, and Daisy had called him unhinged. He wonders what they would have both said together, if they’d had the chance to compare notes).

Martin continues to shake his head, unconvinced.

Jon thinks this over.

“Do you remember when we met?” Jon asks, leaning beside Martin at the sink; his body-language looks like somebody at a pub, about to drop what they believe to be a winner of a pick-up line.

“Yes, unfortunately. I think we BOTH made pretty strong first-impressions on each other,” Martin replies.

“Mmm, very much so. But- when you first ran up, and asked if I had seen a dog? I thought you were trying to tell me a joke,”

“You thought- what? A joke?” Martin turns to look at Jon.

“A joke. I was surprised right out of my train of thought, forgot about whatever I had been doing, forgot to keep my aloof and serious attitude as the new Head Archivist. I didn’t know what to think, and I was so taken off-guard, it made me genuinely intrigued. I was even excited to see if I could figure out the joke, be all impressive and clever. But then…” Jon trailed off, rolling his eyes.

“Then I made it clear- an actual dog was running around inside the building,” Martin finished. “Honestly Jon, what kind of joke could that have been?”

“Hmm… have you seen a dog? I was hoping somebody could help me SPOT one,” Jon answers. Martin’s jaw drops. That was indeed a terrible pun… but Jon isn’t finished. “Have you seen a dog? I CANINE find it anywhere! Have you seen a dog? I’m having a RUFF time looking on my own! Have you seen a dog? I’ve searched this place a HOUND-dred times! Have you seen a dog? This one is im-PAW-sible for me to find! Have you seen a dog? I’m worried it might be in GREAT DANE-ger! Have you seen-”

“STOP, HAHAHA, STOP- YOU’RE GONNA KILL ME!” Martin doubles-over, and slides down against the cupboards under the sink. He’s laughing so hard he’s crying, and his cheeks hurt from smiling.

“Terrible puns aside, my first thoughts of you were- Oh, somebody is talking to me? Oh, he’s telling me a joke? Oh, he’s lovely. Oh, I can impress this lovely man when he sees how good I am at figuring out jokes! OH, HE LET A DOG INTO THE BUILDING!”

Martin laughs again, helplessly hiding his face in his knees. Jon steps away from the sink, crouching down in front of him. Martin continues to giggle, peeking through his fingers as Jon lightly strokes his hair.

“Is that what I should have done? Won your heart with bad puns?” Martin asks.

“I’m not sure I’m much of a prize, but you certainly won my heart, regardless. The problem was ME, almost everything about you kept catching my attention, I just had my head up my own arse. I’m not good enough for you,” Jon answers. Martin finally moves his hands away from his face, catching Jon’s with his own.

“Maybe you just need to step-up and BE good enough for me?”

“I can try,” Jon says with a smile that implies he’s actually determined to do exactly that. Martin leans forward and kisses him.

[soracities]

Re: that anon who thinks kids are evil

I'm really sorry that anon went through a tough time during childhood (and I did too, being bullied at school and abused at home) but kids aren't fundamentally evil. They're IMPRESSIONABLE. which is incredibly different. They like imitating adults around them, and so when they are surrounded by terrible, mean adults, they act terrible and mean towards themselves & their peers too. It was apparent that anon was surrounded by adults who weren't nice and didn't do their job of educating those kids (including offering anon support), which is really sad.

But regardless of that, kids simply learn from people around them and they can be, and most often are, sweet and nice. and most importantly, even if they aren't sweet or nice, they are deserving of love and compassion and respect and affection, because only with that can we cultivate and nurture the sweet & kind side in their soul.

I feel like if anon felt alienated for being different, they should especially beware of such generalizing rhetoric of "all kids are [insert adjective]" because that's the exact kind of speech that isolates and alienates kids who act different. And I wonder if anon realizes that it was their abuser's language that's coming out of their mouth.

(source: im an educator and ive never known a kid who's not sweet and lovable to me)

(cont'd) also, kind of unrelated but it made me think of this absolutely heartbreaking, sweet kid that I met on Tuesday during a visit to a kindergarten. I was supposed to go to different kindergartens to evaluate their teaching and give consultations, and a part of what I need to do is this one-on-one language assessment with the kids (age five and their mother tongue isn't english). So there was this girl, whose first words after sitting down was "I don't know any English." And I was like haha it's alright! Let's just try and see how much you know, then we can see where you can practice more on! And she went "okay >_<" (rather earnestly, like she didn't say she doesn't know shit because she didn't want to try) So we did a task, and she scored above average so I was like "You did really well! Why did you say you don't know anything?" and she went "But I still got two wrong :(" which was like, wtf girl who fucked up your self-esteem?? Kindergarten aged kids should feel like they're the coolest smartest shit in the world!! Like I was already ready to fight for her at this point okay Anyways I said "it's alright, now you know where you can work on!" and did another task with her, which she also did pretty well in So I tried to tell her some cliche encouragement like "sometimes we feel like we don't know anything because we feel scared, but when we be brave and try things out, usually we know a lot more than we thought we could! Just like you right now, look at how well you did! So please believe in yourself more" And this little girl deadass looked me in the eye and told me, very sincerely, "because mommy doesn't believe in herself, so I don't believe in myself either :(" I controlled my face, but internally my jaw was on the fking floor and I was screaming crying pulling my hair out. I was so HEARTBROKEN. Like I need to talk to that woman coz what did you do to your kid?? What did you project on her?? And this kid is so smart?? She is so self-aware like she is able observe her mother's emotions & understand her mentality and THEN recognize how her mother's mentality shapes her own?? Honestly, I don't think the majority of people at my age right noweven realize how others' mentality relate to their own. And she is able to articulate all that! Which just makes her statement extra sad, because she is so so smart and observant but she believes she doesn't know anything and that she is bad at school, which is fucking WRONG And I was just so fking devastated!! I want to hug her I want to adopt her I want to fix everything for her but I don't know how I could ever do that. I am not even her teacher, I'm just a nobody who comes once a month for some dumb observations and just, I don't have the ability to do anything significant enough. I tried my best to smile and said "oh no... but you said you think mommy is smart right? she just doesn't know that herself! and I think you are also very good, so you need to remember it for me okay?" and she was like ok >< Then I went home and cried for an hour cause I just feel so... powerless and like what am I doing?? What can I even do to change things for her and kids like her?? When and how will I ever be enough to make her feel happy and brilliant and innocent and no need to act so mature??? Kids are my soft spot and I don't think I will ever cease to feel heartbroken for them. They are so precious and trusting and loving yet so many adults just... betray that trust and abuse that love. And it is so easy to break them but so hard to build them back up, which is simply unfair. Anyways sorry for the venting (sort of) I just want to pour these out because I love kids so much and I want to hug them all and they are so precious and lovable and incredible. I guess my point is just please love and be kind to the kids you know and encounter cause you don't want to fuck them up and not to mention how could you feel anything but adoration when you interact with them

oh my God..................please don't apologize, I'm so, so grateful you took the time to write and share this because I could not agree with you more. I think people really don't seem to understand the depth to which children understand and interpret and process things and it is truly one of the most illuminating and profoundly humbing things to witness and be part of. For what it's worth I think your presence and your conversation absolutely meant something to that little girl and I believe it makes a difference to have validation like that, even just for a day 💗 The kids you work with are very lucky to have someone who cares so deeply about their wellbeing and, heartbreaking as I know it can be, I hope you don't forget that 💗

[sparklingdemon]

hi, pkmn monochrome anon. im off for once, but unfortunately not on my main. hopefully that's cool with you.

honestly, im skeptical of the idea that hacker cody is nearly as bad cody said they were.

One of the most important things you learn in CBT is the distinction between feeling and thought and action. Hacker cody felt that the people around them were the reason they were depressed. But, Trainer Cody says multiple times that they knew better, and never elaborates if they actually hurt anyone.

Cody also demonstrably has issues with internalized ableism throughout pkmn monochrome. they demean themself over symptoms of depression they likely inherited from hacker cody even before it is weaponized against them. half of their internal conflict has to do with the fact that they cannot be expected to function on the same level as a player, and feeling shitty abaout it. they literally have a giant depression turtle that says "you should abandon cody because these problems make them an inherently worthless person undeserving of love".

so, it makes it ambiguous how much of cody's criticism of the hacker has to do with the hacker actually being an ass, and how much of it is actually just cody being incredibly harsh about their struggles. especially considered even before the players came in, cody was already being emotionally abused over these traits for 3 years.

literally the only criticism about hacker cody that holds any weight as intentionally cruel so far is their treatment of the protagonists. but considering the heavy allusions regarding how exactly they died, i don't think it could reasonably be expected of them to do the right thing in that situation. "yeah sorry you're about to kill yourself here's custody of two children. good luck i guess"

I really don't think its fair to compare them to the players intentionally abusing trainer Cody over the span of two years simply out of amusement despite having all the resources and support available to give them a good life.

now, is all of this certain? no. it's also worthy to note cody also has incentive to lie or refuse to elaborate on hacker cody's behavior considering how they've already been treated under the perception that they are completely unrelated.

i am admittedly worried that this does come across as somewhat infantilizing of hacker cody. i also feel like that was also partially the reason they were driven to this point in-universe. i think hacker cody was also sort of stuck between feeling like their problems weren't "that bad", when the problem wasn't "you're not trying hard enough to take care of yourself" but "you literally have a fucked up brain disease that wants to kill you".

im not denying hacker cody was a flawed person. nor am i trying to say that having shitty mental health is an absolvement of what you do. or reduce cody to just "they were sick lol".

but what we have of them is kind of just a capsule magnifying the worst of them. so much that i feel like they're defined more by their constant rumination. and i really don't think that it's fair to them.

there's more i want to write, but it kind of gets more personal from there. and i feel like i can't really articulate everything i want to say in a coherent and cohesive manner. sorry about that.

also ive already written like 13 paragraphs haha

tldr: hacker cody is a poor little meow meow imo

👀 once again i cannot comment on hacker cody without spoilers but this is very tasty thank u… very interesting points being made here. thank you for coming off of anon to share………

[monstersinthecosmos]

As a fellow Marius lover, I always find it kind of disheartening how most of the content/fandom talk about him (meta, fic, fanart, etc.) revolves around m/m ships (Marius/Armand in particular but I’d even go as far to include Marius/Daniel here) when, in my opinion, Marius is like the one male character in the VC universe whose relationships with women are far more interesting than his relationships with other men (the only other character might be Lestat but even then it’s pretty 50/50). They’re so monumental and so full of complexities and pain and so much love and they define him and inform his character in ways that I think, his relationships with men simply do not. Interesting/hot under the right circumstances? Sure but like ARE YOU GUYS SEEING THIS MAN??? AND HOW HE RELATES TO WOMEN??? It’s one of the best things Anne ever wrote and I can never get enough of it and it makes me sad how little content there is of it and I feel I can never say this out loud because I would never want to make people feel bad about what they ship (truly not my intention here) but ugh SO MUCH potential there for life changing discourse and meta about Marius and the women he’s loved and lost and have shaped who he is and there’s like… nothing.

Tl;dr the reason I’m sending this ask is because I’m a firm believer that you must be the change you want to see in this world and because YOU get it! And every time you post or write about Marius/Pandora (or Marius/Akasha! Or talk about Marius/Bianca) an angel gets its (black) wings. You are seen, you are loved and appreciated tysm <3

OKAY FIRST OF ALL THIS WAS SUCH A DELIGHT TO GET IN MY INBOX, SECOND IM GOING TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST AND ADMIT I FEEL TOO INCOHERENT TO TACKLE THIS TOPIC HAHA. I don’t feel articulate enough to do it justice. And I don’t say that to be obnoxious and self deprecating but like in all honesty idk how to synthesize it neatly but I think you’re sharing some GREAT IDEAS. 

I have to say this in bullet points because I don’t feel equipped to string this into a cohesive post:

Marius was based on Anne’s husband, and Marius/Pandora was based on their marriage!!!!! And I think it explains a lot about why their relationship feels so fuckin POTENT to me, like it’s so genuine!!!!!!! And like knowing that I think it makes sense why she wrote him so HOT lol. Like she’s just writing thirsty stuff about her husband right? LOL

Also like insofar as there’s a lot of genderfluidity in VC there’s also something vaguely misogynist about it at times. And Anne Rice was a mega feminist and her work had so much womens lib in it!!!!! So I don’t think it’s intended as misogyny at all vs. Anne having conversations about gender and maybe her own relationship to gender. I think enough characters have said vaguely misogynist stuff that it makes me think it’s an Anne Problem vs being Watsonian. (This is also a historical/time period issue and we can discuss another time if and when vampires are supposed to break out of that when they transcend humanity and social constructs even when they’re still saying weird sexist shit at their big ages.) But I say that to say all VC characters are a tad sexist, even if perhaps she was writing with the intention of her own male power fantasy/male superiority/penis envy. AND THAT MAKES MARIUS VERY INTERESTING. 

Cause like really the three main ladies in his life (Akasha, Pandora, Bianca) DO define him so much! And we don’t see him pine for Armand the way he did for any of them! Why!!!

Like there’s that aspect of sexism where women can be infantilized by men who don’t think they’re being unkind and it makes me wonder, especially when the author is a boomer, like where is that line between condescension and respect? I don’t have an answer here, this is too big-brained for me LOL but like he is SO devoted to the women in his life and I just wonder like if he sees them as creatures unlike himself, you know? 

This is headcanon territory but I bet he’s such a fucking sub to Pandora lol and it just thrills me that he spent 2000 years begging Akasha for affection and she ignored him the whole damn time wow. And he continued to simp!

AND ALSO LIKE, I think people DO NOT DISCUSS THIS OFTEN ENOUGH, but did we forget that he chose Armand because he needed a Bianca rebound? He was absolutely TORTURED by his love for Bianca and picked Armand because he didn’t want to kill her oh my god. Oh my god!!! HE KEPT HER LETTER IN HIS POCKET OVER HIS HEART OKAY??? HE DIDN’T WANT TO DRAG HER INTO HIS COLD AND FATAL DOMAIN????? Fuck lol

It’s so fucked up that he didn’t go after Armand but spent like actual fucking millennia trying to find Pandora. HE KNEW EXACTLY WHERE ARMAND WAS AND LEFT HIM THERE LOL BUT PANDORA HAUNTED HIM EVERY NIGHT OF HIS LIFE FOR CENTURIES.

After everything he wound up spending like 200 years with Bianca or something and ?????? CORRECT because Bianca was the fledgling he actually wanted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But it’s odd, I know I’ve said this 337589235 times, but Marius like. Has an idea of the person he wants to be and he tries SO HARD to live by logic & reason and he just can’t reconcile with the fact that he has EMOTIONS. And so like part of the person he wants to be like, open/empathetic/wise and he begs his lovers/students/fledglings to CHALLENGE HIM when he’s not actually healed enough to be challenged? And to me there’s something kinda like, extra spicy about it when you’re in Rice World and you’re a lil sexist; how much that burns EXTRA when it’s Pandora or Bianca sticking up to you or AKASHA FUCKIN IGNORING YOU. 

Just really incredible that this person who is like the epitome of a patriarch has such fucked up relationships with all the women in his life. And like he underestimates these women, like the way he tries to manipulate Bianca and she leaves him! PANDORA AND AKASHA ARE UNAVAILABLE TO HIM AND BIANCA FUCKIN LEAVES.

akasSHA JUST IGNROING HIM!! JUST STRAIGHT UP FUCKIN IGNORING HIM FOR 2,000 YEARS!!!! HE'S OBSESSED WITH HER!

Anyway Enkil is ignoring him too but he doesn’t give a shit about that guy tbh lol 

Also the amount of space he gives Eudoxia and Zenobia in his book like there’s more here too but tbh it’s midnight and I can’t start unpacking. I just think like, in 2000 years it’s interesting how Eudoxia wound up having such a lasting impact on his life. 

I did just peek at the Eudoxia part and I’m dying, he goes “Her face was small, oval, and as close to perfection as anything I've ever beheld, even though she bore no resemblance to Pandora who was for me perfection itself.” CERTIFIED WIFE GUY.

What kinda mommy issues are we dealing with here? HIS MOTHER WAS A SLAVE THAT DIED IN CHILDBIRTH AND HE INHERITED HER GENES AND LOOKED LIKE HER AND DIDN’T LOOK LIKE HIS FATHER & BROTHERS? AND HE’S SORT OF AN OUTCAST AS A HUMAN LIKE ? THE STIGMA HERE? AND THEN HE SPENDS 2000 YEARS WORSHIPPING HIS NEW MOTHER??? PERHAPS YOU COULD SAY ENSLAVED TO HER? IDK MAN. 

IS THIS ALSO WHY HE WAS SO OBSESSED WITH LOSING PANDORA?

The irony too, and something I think a lot of people miss, is that he DIDN’T WANT TO MARRY PANDORA LOL. He wanted to be betrothed to a child so that he could FUCK OFF and NOT get married because she wasn’t old enough to get married! He fucked off! He went exploring! He said this is not for me! 

AND TO GO OUT INTO THE WORLD AND BE MURDERED BY HIS MOTHERS PEOPLE???? IDK. 

I’m not sure how these last two points tie into anything but I just wanted to mention his complicated relationship with Pandora and his own heritage lol. And then Akasha like DELIVERS Pandora to him because she’s like “wow this guy needs somebody lol and I am not emotionally available” — Akasha who was famously a violent genocidal radfem and who would not approve of his relationship with Armand but explicitly allowed him to have Pandora and Bianca. IDK WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN! 

Did Akasha approve of these women because she knew Marius was completely pussywhipped and would worship them and she wanted to see someone mommydom the fuck out of him and she knew that Armand would never be that person? 🫢

And again I want to say like, taking the author into consideration!! Anne Rice had a HORRIFIC relationship with her mom so you see these themes pop up occasionally in her work. DESPITE ALL OF THAT SHE IS STILL A FEMINIST AND WRITES ABOUT MATRILINEAR FAMILIES like The Great Family or the Mayfairs. But thinking about Mothers in Anne Rice Works makes me think a lot about this like, the damage they can do and the voids they can leave even when you’re a feminist and love women! You see a TON of this with Gabrielle and I always think that Lestat & Marius are such similar characters that you can do a lot of extrapolating or backwards engineering to ask questions about them and how they work, since we get SO MUCH Lestat POV in this series to work with and how we can zoom out sometimes and ask like, what is common across her entire body of work and what is more specifically common between Lestat & Marius and WHAT EVEN MORE INTERESTINGLY is a result that they were both based on her husband in their inceptions. 

Like how much of this has to do with Marius’s actual feelings towards men vs women on purpose, or how much was subconscious author bias, how much was simply that Anne Rice based him on her husband and she was THIRSTY, idk. It’s always hard to say in VC because Anne was such an intuitive and self-indulgent author and the stories are so weird!!! So your mileage may vary!

But I agree with you that these are FASCINATING relationships!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I like Marius/Armand too (I recently made a post about how I didn’t “””””ship”””” them but then I spent 2 months working on a M/A fic every day and now I think I’ve corrupted and converted myself LMAO) but yeah like. There’s such a lack of substance between them in the end. He treats Armand like he’s temporary, fucks up and moves on, and it’s such a departure from how DEVOTED he was with all his other partners. 

Wow I didn’t think I had a lot to say, sorry about that. !!! EVERY TIME I BROUGHT A POINT UP I THOUGHT OF 5 MORE POINTS GOSH I COULD TALK ABOUT MARIUS ALL DAY.

[noirs-multiverse]

was thinking today abt how luxa and ripred somehow BOND at the end of code of claw and somehow no one,,,, ever,,,, questions it? cause it just creates more questions that literally never ever get answered within the book?

isnt luxa already bonded to aurora? can you bond with more than one person then? what even is the significance of a bond then?

aurora is apparently okay with this but,,, it does not make that much sense really. also, "if you think so, then i can survive it" (luxa to aurora, a little after the bond is made),,, that's. not very,,,,, bondlike or any good prospects for luxa and ripred's bond unless luxa is being sarcastic but i doubt that?

all throughout the series, bonds have always been between humans and fliers. this does make sense because a human and flier duo is pretty great for fighting and survival + travel within the underland, they complement each other. i don't think a human could have that with any other species. (idk how to articulate but like, fliers provide the Flight and humans provide the Attack yk, there's not much a gnawer can provide to a human in that regard if you get what i mean)

also, bonds are sought with someone who have a connection or understanding with. someone whose loss you would actively grieve. luxa and aurora, howard and pandora, hazard and thalia (😭), and so on. i mean,,, a bond is clearly a significant concept within the underland, the breaking of which is literally disastrous (ares being punished with exile before gregor saves the day). if i'm not forgetting anything, the only time a bond breaks is either a betrayal (henry and ares!!! they are a great example of how bond ≠ peace), or your bond dying (howard and pandora).

observing luxa and ripred's dynamic, they do not quite have the understanding that creates a successful bond (Luxa Was Literally Ready To Send Ripred And The Gnawers To The Uncharted Lands, HOW DID THEY BOND™️ LIKE 2 SECONDS LATER??? I reread that part just now and I lost several braincells, just to confirm if I was right. Anyway). i just. don't see how luxa could say that treaties have failed,,,, a bond can fail too?

especially considering how badly henry's betrayal affected luxa throughout the series, it just feels,,,, Not Right to see luxa doing this when henry's bond with ares failed? like, would she not have considered this before placing so much faith in a bond between her and ripred?

unless there is actual magic involved, nothing really guarantees that luxa and ripred's bond will preserve peace or anything. bonds in tuc seem to be more of a cultural/interpersonal tradition of high significance as opposed to an actual magical construct with any weight that ISN'T assigned by cultural/personal association.

i read more of that part just to check and this quote? "I need one human to genuinely approve of what I just did." (said by luxa)

THE WAY THIS LOOKS,,, THIS SOUNDS LIKE A VERY BAD MOVE FOR UM. YOUR "image"???? How could you make such a huge move without even consulting anyone properly, right ? Luxa, bonding with A GNAWER who you Threatened with Exile/Banishment does NOT bode well for your reputation, which you need if you are going to actually want to preserve any peace? Bro you could've just signed a treaty,,,,,,,

and i mean, if you CAN bond (bonds are one of the most,, iconic? idk what other word to use, features of tuc, just to put that here) with other species instead of just humans and fliers, i feel like that's not something you would ever just put at the end of the book and never really explore in depth,,,

anyway i feel like i missed something but like,,,, THERE NEEDS TO BE MORE QUESTIONING ON THE LUXA AND RIPRED BOND BECAUSE IT'S SO OUT OF NOWHERE,, and detracts from a proper understanding of what a bond even is

im pretty sure this is my first proper uh essay??? post on here so um lmk what u think, id love to hear all ur thoughts in general and stuff. i will prolly reblog this post if i have more thoughts on this, let's see haha. anyway, have an awesome day/night!

[pynkhues]

Idk if you’re still answering questions about your c&c fic but im just really interested with Rio and Kenny’s relationship, like are they close? does kenny has some sort of resentment against rio bcs of dean?? does kenny sees rio as a father figure or does rio sees kenny as his son and the other boland kids as well?? And if so, what happened? Like what was the moment that made kenny look at rio as not just his moms bf but also a part of his family?? What was the boland kids reaction once they realized that rio might be a permanent fixture in their lives? It’s just something that I think about a lot, because i think among the boland kids, it would be kenny that’s going to be the hardest to win over because (im assuming that) he looks up to dean.

Im sorry if im asking a lot of question lol, you don’t need to answer all of it (or any of it) I was just curious. Thank you!

Hey! Yeah, I'm always answering questions about C&C, even if they take me a while to get to (like this one, sorry! Life's been wild).

I do think Rio and Kenny grow close in that universe. I definitely think theirs is one of the more complicated relationships in the family, in no small part because of him being the eldest and being twelve when Beth and Rio get together (which is a difficult age in general!), but also because I tend to write Dean as favouring Kenny as an eldest son and the child he feels like he 'gets'.

I write Dean as not entirely knowing what to do with daughters, and struggling with Danny who's a little shy, afraid of soccer balls, and artistic as opposed to Kenny who does all the things Dean understands. He plays sports and video games, he's not all that academic, he mucks around and likes pranks and roughhousing, and while I haven't written that much of when the kids are teenagers and young adults in that 'verse, I do in my head have it that Kenny's a pretty good kid who's popular at school and only really causes trouble for them in the way all teenagers cause trouble for their parents (Danny's the one I like to headcanon throws them the curveballs, haha).

I do kinda like this sense though that Kenny actually becomes fairly emotionally intelligent in the process of navigating those years between Dean, Beth and Rio? I think he takes being the eldest child seriously, and I like the idea that he sort of understands that his dad didn't treat his mum well, even if he can't quite articulate it (hell, it's what the whole first fic in the series was about!) and while I think he's cautious around Rio, I also think he likes him.

Rio's a cool guy! He's sharp and funny and athletic, and while I definitely think Kenny feels the brunt of Dean's resentment of Rio outside of Beth, I think for him it's internalised in the way we saw on the show with the binge eating and him withdrawing. He feels guilty for liking Rio, and for the relationship that he starts to build with him, as opposed to taking it out on him, and so it seeps out when he's young in episodes of behaviour that Beth and Rio have to address together.

In a lot of ways though too, I think Kenny being slightly older means that he has this benefit of really remembering how bad things were with his parents and feeling the shift with Beth and Rio. I think it's a happier house, and that Kenny responds to that, and in some ways it's harder for the littler kids to figure out their relationships with Dean and Rio because they don't have the context that Kenny does. It's both more and less complicated for him in so many ways, and I think Kenny takes Dean's step back from the family as the kids get older the hardest, and maybe does briefly blame Rio for that, but I think he also is the one who really steps up and becomes really close to Rio as he becomes an adult (in particular there's an incident that happens which I alluded to in a fic where Rio's seriously injured when the kids are all a bit older, and I think Kenny sort of came of age in a way that marks a real shift in the family dynamics).

So yeah! I think it's complicated and there's definitely teething problems, but I also think they connect on a lot of levels that give them a really strong foundation for their relationship.

[layzeal]

Hello!

This is my opinion, please correct me somehow im really willing to change since thats how i am with new fandoms i get myself into(is it really new if i have known it for 2 years) anyway, please forgive my insolence. I just wanna ask what you think of cql changing a lot themes (especially that importance they have put on yunmeng trios ( its to the point ive ask my myself if JYL manipulates WWX, you know guil tripping forcing someone to be with you (obv not romantically) out of pity or other) (and downgrading certain things like JC's cruelty or washing WWX making him not lose control but have outside factors) (the timeline is also confusing) and i just felt like most of the lessons in mdzs was not successfully implemented in the live action. There were a lot of times that made me leave the show halfway because i was hoping for a lot of wangxian actions (it was 50 epi after all) but most of it was in flashback and focuses too much on the said trio. then the sudden change of story into XXC and XY, and the little changes too like LQY being a Jin disciple.

and also about that LWJ self harm ask, ive read some meta about it him being sad and in grief, another saying its a part of remembering WWX (which for me is so ridiculous, which part exactly will remind him of WWX, the self harm part of the scars?) and frankly im more inclined to believe thats its a mistake he have done while drunk and grieving, he has to let it out somehow and without logic and inhibitions he must have done it after seeing the torture weapon?? like its not a planned thing( but who am i talk, it could be depression speaking) which is not making sense how do you manage to find it just lying so it could also have been because something have reminded it of him. i honestly wanna stop thinking about the hows so i just ask.

another point id like to ask is how do people manage to have questions that sounds so amazing? idk the word for it. but you know what i mean, bizarre then people like you somehow have the word to explain such things. how long does it usually take you to articulate what you mean, and what process are you using that makes it so easy to understand.

hi friend!! so, for a brief history: i actiually got into MDZS through CQL back in june 2021, and i really loved it!! however, there were a lot of things that were very confusing to me (especially the timeline), which is why i decided to pick up the novel, because i was very very interested in understanding the whole picture!

(more under cut)

but as you can see by now, my fandom content has almmost exclusively switched to novel/audio drama canon! and well, there's not really much secret about it, other than me just vastly preferring the novel's narrative, for many of the reasons you mentioned! my general stance on CQL is that, while it's a pretty bad adaptation that fails in a lot of ways to convey some themes of the original work, it does work really well as its own, independent thing, and that's kinda how it exists in brain? i've kinda grown a wall of separation between the two, in which i don't really see CQL as MDZS, and tend to appreciate it on its own (ie. for as much as i LOVE wangxian's relationship in the novel, there really is something incredibly tasty about how it was done in the show that only works within that universe)

but most of all, i only watched cql like, once, and can remember VERY little about it, so it's why i don't really feel comfortable talking about its changes because i genuinely cannot remember how they were executed LMAO. but YEAH there are more changes i dislike than i like, and whether they were made because of censorship or not, it's still sad how much lost potential there was :(

and @ you last question: oh, thank you so much!! hmm, i do tend to just kinda... write down what i'm thinking, so the words you're reading are pretty much my exact train of thought haha i guess i can be really thankful to having reached a level of english fluency that allows me to make-up sentences in my mind already in english, rather than having to translate them beforehand. a lot of my practice experience was actually by doing writing and roleplaying here on tumblr, so maybe that's related! just reading and writing a lot can definitely help you develop an easier way to articulate your thoughts. it's why i love doing media analysis, really, i get so excited about something from a piece of media that i HAVE to share, and for that to work i need to articulate it well enough, so it's very motivating! does that make sense? i hope so dkjfhjdfkg

hope you have a good day, anon <3

[lagomorphics]

hi majora! your art is really cute, and I hope you don't mind if I ask about your process? I'm new to art and yours is an inspiration! I wanted to ask how you learned? and your process, because you seem to draw near daily! also any tips you might have for me? thank you!

HI ANON!!! ur very sweet thank u so much WAHH <33!!! idm being asked abt that at all!!

in terms of how i learnt; i've kinda always been drawing for as long as i can remember? been posting art online since around 2013-ish so i got a big big catalogue of stuff to look back on

but learning in specifics of like, how i learned to shade n draw bodies etc etc. i studied! theres a lot of resources out there that'll break down a lot of the 'basics', i dont have any i can name off the top of my head except for morpho; whole bunch of books about body types and anatomy.

im not really good at providing tips for how to learn (bad memory </3) but studying, drawing things over and over (i do with reference and then without, and try to draw in different angles/perspectives) is very useful!

ALSO VERY IMPORTANT: literally do not worry at all if what you draw the first time around looks wonky or "ugly". being negative towards yourself about your art only serves to stunt ur growth!! shakes you (and anyone reading this) by the shoulders. it can be very easy to slip into hating your art and not enjoying anything ur drawing. this is me telling u to try and draw something youve never drawn before. experiment. it may not look perfect or even "good" but it will refresh ur brain!!!!!

MY PROCESS...... oh man i really have been drawing pretty much daily huh? i do draw every day but its been a hot minute since ive been doing finished pieces haha

but basically what i do is; start with a few warm-up doodles! just anything to get me in the groove

then over the course of the day i slowly chip away at whatever pieces im working on (lined stuff will usually take me a few hours, rendered stuff takes a day or a few....)

i cannot really assist in like "so how do you draw?" because i honestly just go Lights Off Its Drawin Time! but i always do a rough sketch of an idea i have, refine the sketch, refine that sketch, and then if its rendered i'll make a palette for myself somewhere, but if its lined i'll start on the lineart and then fiddle around with colours.

i draw for fun, so if i dont like how somethings turning out, i'll stop drawing it. no use frustrating myself over a piece to the point of hating it!!

(this ones just forfun and just for me) i keep a small little doc full of notes about my own pieces! i like analysing stuff, and also enjoy talking about why i draw something in a specific way, so this is just a nice little thing for me to have fun with. also helps me avoid potentially slipping into "hate this. bad" mindset bc im specifically noting things that i Liked (i do obviously have a bit of chatter like "hmm i think i couldve drawn this better, i should keep that in mind" but its only when its helping myself. the jora does not talk bad about its art)

aaand then i do some cool-downs to get any last little doodles outta my head so i can relax in bed

in terms of tips? do stretches, walk around, TAKE BREAKS! draw at your own pace, and also Have Fun With It. experiment with different colours, limited palettes, different styles!

seriously though do make sure you take breaks and stretch im lookin you in the eye okay?

I HOPE THIS MADE SENSE AND IS HELPFUL IN A WAY i ramble. far too much. and im not the best at articulating my thoughts!! but i hope u have lots of fun drawing very cool stuff <333

[werewolf-femboy-maid]

HEARTBREAKING: Despicable Me 4 was mid af

explanation with spoilers below! other than that, have an excellent day <3

no im serious :"( I really thought it was gonna slap brah :"( so sad brah :"(

cause like at first I was like "omg gru and Lucy have a baby just another trope to continue the series lmao"

and then I heard the song and then I was like "WOAH THIS GONNA BE GOOD bro what if there's like gru having to choose between his family and his beloved life of crime? Lie detector time? oh boy, what kind of tense and high stakes plot that covers the importance of choosing what you love and respecting others could this be hinting at? oh boy its gonna be so intense to see if gru has to lie to Lucy to do some crazy money making heist so they can go family vacation. or maybe the baby will be difficult to raise and raising the baby together teaches gru and Lucy about working together. or maybe they learn about splitting the attention between the gorls and the new baby. or literally the so many rich thematic elements that were expressed by the song."

and then I actually watched the movie and... :"(

omg none of it. it was fucking mid. it was bad because it was just so mid. just. </3

ok so Lucy's character was not explored at all, just kinda taking care of the baby on the side until gru goes on the mission with the baby.

and then the gorls didn't age at all even tho the baby seems to be at least a year old. oh and they didn't get character development either. except margo was bullied :"( why did they do that to her :"( yeah no Edith being badass or Agnes being baby either. I mean kinda? Agnes got to see her baby goat again at the end and that was cool. but that was it, unfortunately.

ok what about the villain? ooooh cool design! aaaaaaaand boring plot. ok well I mean it was a funny back story with gru stealing his song at the school talent show, but like. that's the most interesting thing I can remember. like what did he even do... oh it was cool that he communicates to cockroaches n shit. that was cool af. dude I was so fucking hyped for stinky bug villain but no. I got stinky plot.

(im really sad that I cant eat takis that much anymore they're so good but holy fucking shit I have HUGE meltdowns on the days after I eat them fuck red40)

ok what about the baby? yeah no the baby hates gru and loves Lucy haha and the baby likes gru only if he's being a villain. idk man it was cool but I kinda feel like he was overhyped for his role in the movie.

ok what about Gru? well yeah he was gruing around. but not really. I mean kinda...? there was no real crisis for him tho, he didn't have to choose between villainy or his family or even anything really. his goal was kind of ambiguous.

ok what about the minions? I have no strong opinion, they were definitely minions. they weren't even as funny tho. if anything, I realized maybe they represent the working class, the lowly proletariat. its more scary when you think about how "minionese" is just a bunch of languages mashed up (English, Spanish, Chinese, Tagalog, French, Russian, Italian, Japanese, Korean) and there are theories that certain people at the top are mixing all the races to dumb everyone down into a slave. I think that if that's really happening, then the plan is going to backfire, because mixing races makes people stronger and more resilient against a broader spectrum of problems. Anyway it became apparent that the minions represent the working class because they were seen working for the good guys after a life of crime. too much to articulate, not enough care to bother with it.

ok what about the themes of the movie? I really don't know. I have no fucking idea. I thought it was gonna be family or commitment or something but I really have no clue. um I guess uh... ... ... ... ... holding on to a grudge wastes time? I mean yeah cause the cockroach guy was very upset about his song getting stolen, but gru could've chosen to be upset about getting pantsed in school. but he took revenge instead, and the cockroach guy just couldnt stand the taste of his own medicine. so he lives his life alone and miserable (not implying being single by choice is miserable. y'all are lucky and smart) while gru doesn't let that past experience bother him and he lives doing the things he loves with the people he loves. but other than that yeah I have no fucking clue.

maybe I was high but idk, the whole movie just seemed very uh.. hmmm... idk the word for this, but yknow those sketches where you erased and drew over the part over and over again? and then the paper gets worn out and thin and grey because you kept erasing? yeah that. that's what the plot and basically the whole movie felt like.

ok no this was weird... ok so the fucking teenager who was kinda mean to margo and she's the daughter of that neighbor. like she does this villain thing with gru and the baby and I really have no idea what they were trying to do. gru met her up at her treehouse and just. what... I I really hope im just an insane conspiracy theorist but fuck I got p3do vibes from it... idk... and speaking of p3dos and Hollywood, the Deadpool wolverine movie was so good, but I cant shake off the tiny boy penis joke they made when Deadpool was regrowing his body. just... I know Deadpool is adult, but idk with the baby legs. maybe one joke was alright but they dragged that one on. like all the characters were really GAZING at it man. idk I hope im just insane and its not a p3do reference idk. I still don't know how she has anything to do with the plot besides being the gateway for gru to talk to her dad and get the sports club membership...

(I need someone to beat me almost to death so I can experience real pain and I can appreciate my life more)

hey guys this is unrelated to the post but PRO MONEY TIP

see anything like an exclusively decorated soda can or a limited time package? save one or a few of those and save them for thirty years or however long you think. and the longer you wait, the more those bidders from the future are gonna pay for your unopened can of Mountain Dew Freedom Fusion.

ok wait I just talked about it to my bf, I realized even more money is possible if there is a Beloved FranchiseTM on the can for a limited time offer. like Mickey Mouse Coca Cola or something.

[sehodreamsthoughts]

yesss u get me<333

that link oop🫢🫢🤭🤭🤭 yeah i see that for him…(zhang hao) he’s something else in a positive way idk…

tbh i see matthew as a switch right and honestly more of a dom but.. idk idk he really can go either way for me.. but some idols (who i bias🤭🤭) who are definitely subby boys are bnd’s riwoo, lun8’s takuma, nowadays’ yeonwoo, and one pact’s yedam<3333 they’re all 03 liners though coincidentally just so u know, so like def legal but also def younger than some of the idols we’ve talked about but i think matthew is 02 so idk??? anyways i love them all sooo much<3333333 wanted to give them all an honourable mention idk??? OMG and cravity’s hyeongjun pls how could i forget him he reminds me of xiumin a bit n i just love him so much my pookie baby boy!!!!!!!

if u like men who scream daddy issues do u like jiwoong then too? i sound insane but he’s dilf material for sure!!! and wayv’s kun😶😶😶 (he reminds me so much of suho too and i think we both love suho, we’ve talked about that before,,,,, my literal father👀) im just name dropping idols now but also cravity’s serim is just.. u should take a look at that guy i want him BAD n all (h)ours is super new!! most of them are rly young but the leader is 03 n he gives the most Dad vibes n hes so hot plssss his name is kunho and i think you’d like the concept for their upcoming comeback it’s very dark.. idrk how to describe it though like cyberpunk maybe???

okay i’m gonna shut up about other groups now.. cuz i mainly came back here to talk more about sungchan who’s not a sweet tooth n gives u all the food he doesn’t finish.. i always come here to yap about this kink but can’t figure out how to articulate myself, it makes me so dizzy to even contemplate it but.. OKAY WARNING this might be gross n is definitely weird but i think sungchan would be obsessed with the contrast between you two if you were chubbier because he is so athletic and slender, and i think he’s a boob guy… wouldn’t be able to think straight if he could see even the outline of your breasts in your shirt, stretching the material, would go crazier if he could see your soft flesh pushing out the top, watching how it jiggles when you move and laugh and talk and eat<333333333 i think he’d like the control aspect of feeding you too because it’s like.. he can do whatever he wants to u, if he tells you to eat the rest of his snack or what he made you for dinner, you’re not supposed to say no to him, and he can see just how many times you’ve obeyed him when he sees how big you’re getting🥺🥺🥺 again with the damn pinching, and squeezing your ass or your boobs, slapping your butt whenever within arms reach of him!!! grabs your tummy to pull you closer to him or squeezes and pinches your sides just because you look so fucking soft and squishy and he just wants to manhandle you all the time because there’s just so much of you to touch now<3333 again sungchan who buys you revealing clothes and wants you to wear them because he loves seeing your skin exposed, and he tells you how pretty you look all for him<333 such an angel<33 but also sungchan who teases you when his shirt is tight on you, molding around your tummy and difficult to tug down over your thighs :(( so adorable he just has to fuck you right away, sinking into you and telling you don’t worry, he’ll just have to start buying larger shirts<333

putting myself in time out now<333

- 🥟 anon

Baby sorry for the late response I went to search for each of the boys you mentioned and got lost while watching edits 😭

Woah you really know a lot about boy groups, I didn't know any of the 03 boys you mentioned haha, the one I liked the most between them was Cravity Hyengjun, HE REMINDS ME OF XIUMIN TOO HE'S SOO CUTEEEE, I want to give him a fat smooch.

About Jiwoong, I don't know him that much 😭, when I see edits of zb1 not many of him have appeared but I'll pay him more attention to see what I think, I like that he's older than me tho, AND KUN, I LOVE KUN AHSHDSHQHSJDHEHAJSJW HE'S SO DADDY. I feel he'd scold me so good, I'm sure he'd put me in my place in a second and that's something I find so fucking attractive (yo these daddy issues are raging). Oh, and because you mentioned him, I just saw a video of that Serim guy in which he was scolding his members and I'll be honest, I didn't find him attractive at all until i saw all those boys scared... IT WAS SO HOT 🥵🥵🥵 I'll definitely search for their comeback they look like nice guys and after discovering Ateez I'm in a soft spot with boy groups again (yeah I'm in process of becoming an atiny because I've fallen in love with these guys which is really unusual of me since I mostly only follow sm groups 😭)

Goddd Sungchan Sungchan Sungchan

You know what I see too? He obliging you to not wear a bra around him... I have no idea why since I don't really see him like a boob guy, but I feel he'd love, like you mentioned, watching your boobs against the clothes??? I feel he'd love how your natural form without support looks with shirts on, not hiding anything and making obvious when you need him since your nipples get hard 😭, I feel he'd also feed you more because he wants to see that place and your tummy getting bigger and being more difficult to hide with the clothes, simply the outline of your body would drive him crazy 😭😭😭

There's even a particular moment I have in my head and it's with him staring at you finishing a snack he opened, seeing the crumbles falling over the top of your chest and waiting on you to finish so he can clean you and call you messy but he's usually the messy one making you suck him to then lift your shirts and spurt all his cum over your naked chest...

Also I don't know why this came to my mind but I see him being into chubby arms a lot too??? I feel he'd have this idea of boobs softness=plushy arms and he'd squeeze them all the time before you were finally his girlfriend, and you'd have him around you all the time grabbing your arms, walking and holding your shoulder to then trail down, and he wouldn't be able to contain himself pressing his fingers and imagining he's touching your chest 😭 idk maybe I'm just crazy 😂🤪

[titsthedamnseason]

it's just an odd song that doesn't do much for me. the lyrics feel cringy to me and i get second hand embarrasment easily. one of my least faves is also snow on the beach so again slay but i LOVE i look in people's windows

(this is about i can fix him if anyone is curious) anyway i agree that it really does nothing for me and the secondhand embarrassment is real. i feel like a major hurdle for me is that i don’t get WHY she’s trying to fix him (this is probably a lot of my problem with the whole trend honestly). like there’s very much a difference between you saying “i can fix him” about a guy whose room is a little messy or he sometimes forgets to shower because he plays video games too much. you probably CAN fix those guys. “i can fix him” doesn’t really work when he is a full fledged racist. idk if that’s what the phrase ever really intended to be... and hey, she learns this by the end of the song but the “whoa maybe i can’t” just makes everything worse for me. it feels like such an afterthought and also my reaction is always just….no duh you can’t! idk i will never support this song im such a hater about it the lyrics fill me with rage and it’s sonically a snooze fest

i’ve probably listened to snow on the beach like 3 times my whole life haha and i am a lana del rey hater so her extra version just made it even worse for me. i’m so glad someone else feels me on this i don’t think it’s a very common opinion

also i should clarify that i don’t DISLIKE i look in people’s windows honestly. the best way ive been able to describe this to people is that i kind of received it the way in that people initially reacted to its nice to have a friend. when lover first came out that song was so jarring an unusual to so many people and i honestly always liked it and didn’t feel that way and didn’t see it as super different from other songs (and definitely not in a bad way). i think i look in people’s windows is a very interesting, compelling, and well written song. but something about the sound is just very very strange to my ears - and not in a bad way! i also think the fact that it’s so short contributes to this so every time i listen to it just feels like a fever dream. i struggle to articulate this but yeah for some reason it’s a bizarre song to me but i actually do quite enjoy listening to it and (to nobody’s surprise) i loved it acoustic on the piano i just think every song deserves to be played that way at least once it’s so angelic

[cherrywade]

DUDE. okay you’re so real for that. i’ve been listening to djo for like….. months now and i have a playlist of the decide album with some songs from twenty twenty on it. let me just say, this playlist has actually saved my life recently. it’s the best playlist ever for overstimulation or when i just need to calm the fuck down. don’t get me started on how insane some of the lyricism of some songs make me. i could ramble about djo almost as much as hozier i think. music is so goddamn incredible. i’m so joyed fo hear you like djo <3 do you have a fav song so far??

and thank you, that means a lot, love. i’m trying my best. i don’t really know what’s causing everything to feel so bad so suddenly. i hope it all passes soon. thank you for being sweet 🫶 how have you been recently? hopefully well?

-🦇

BRO! okay so i went through and tried to pic my faves and just ended up making a list of like... all of the fucking songs hahahahahha! I have a playlist of both albums and the few singles. And it's literally so calming to listen too. Like... his voice is so soothing. But then he has the funky beats as well. And i just... music is so special to me. Like, to the point where i get possessive. And not like... in a weird way about the artist or anything. Just like... i don't wanna share it with people. I want to like.. keep it to myself so i can just FEEL it and love it. And idk. Im not good at articulating my relationship with music because it's very deep and like intwined with every little part of my soul and i dont know how to untangle it all to like... study the connections. But i love music. And i definitely waited til the perfect time to listen to him. Im very much into the belief that there are certain times your, or at least me, that im like "supposed" to listen to certain music. And listening to that feeling hasn't ever steered me wrong. (I've only listened to a handful of Hozier for that reason actually. It's not time yet. But it will be one day.) Idk. I have very deep feelings about music i guess. Idk. I love a lot of the songs. Most of them. All for different reasons. And I'm really glad i finally listened to it.

And oh no! Im sorry for the random disembodied stressfulness!!! I hope it ebbs soon and fucks off and you can relax! I've not been too bad! Just chillin and workin. And i made some chicken teriyaki that was pretty bomb so that was yummy! Haha! 💛💙💛