#im proud of myself but DAMN!!!!
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#i did not expect it to be this FREAKING LONG!!!!!!#im proud of myself but DAMN!!!!#i wanna post it already 😭😭😭#writing#writing meme#writers life#writers on tumblr#fanfic writer#fanfiction#coldsoul#bishang#mk1 fanfic#the boys do be yapping a lot#bi-han#shang tsung#mk1 sub zero#shang tsung mk1
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#LET'S GOOOO#MY FIRST ANIMATION EVEEERRRR#actually kinda PROUD of myself#spent the UNGODLY amount of time to make this video#im in ever more awe of all these edits on tiktok#guys how are you doing all that#also the amount of brainrot I have on these men???#don't ask me.#DON'T ask me about how fiddleford appears cautious#then after bill he is SCARED#like... IN FEAR.#and then there is the memory gun for a second right after.#and how there is stanley calling ON THE STREET.#WAITING FOR AN ANSWER.#and not getting one#because ford is so down the hole#he didn't heard the phone calling#and for how many times?#DAMN ITTTT#gravity falls#gf#stanford pines#ford pines#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddauthor#bill cipher#the book of bill#billford#stan pines#my art
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zonked out on the dog bed snoring up a storm. you come over and rub the soft spot on the top of my nose. i let out the most contented sigh
#blllllaggggh busiest doggy everyday of my life and i am exhausted#ye beware of sadposting ahead. more like just need to get thoughts out of my headposting yk. im ok just tired#friend said to me today 'youre always doing something these days jasper when do you rest?'#and i was like huh good question! i dont hahaha. damn#which is not a bad thing always. but my plate is incredibly full and i have no one to help me#im in a really good place. things are happening that ive wanted to happen for years. but i have no time to take care of me#and the ppl who are supposed to take care of me dont. and they let me down everytime i try to ask for it. which im used to#but it doesnt make it any easier. theres just not enough hours in the day and not enough energy in my little doggy body#i used to be able to push myself past the wall of exhaustion. but after my therapy program ik i just can not do that anymore#im really proud of myself. being an adult is hard. im doing everything right. but i just wish i had someone by my side to help me#anyways.#i am a very good boy#yapping#if youre reading this hi im just venting im fine. its just been a long day and i want someone to give me a head massage#jasperbarks
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EVEN MORE CUTE DOTTORE MOMENTS TO MAKE YOU SMILE 🙏 (because I am too tired to post anything of quality)
#smooches talks#ouhhhh... to experience the domestic life with him...#someone motivate me to start writing actual fics again...#the dottore honeymoon fic merely has the title “medicus scriptor amorem” and “Honeymoon fic” in the actual document LMFAO#i made it on... january 27 oops#idek if im gonna stick to that name because google translate for latin is so bad omfg#(TO THAT KIND PERSON WHO SENT ME IDEAS ILY AND I PROMISE I WILL RESPOND. I PROMISE IM NOT IGNORING U)#i also have another wip i havent touched with loving the harbingers when they weren't in the fatui yet#no like seriously i think churning out 50k words did something to my writing state 💀🙏#a snippet from dottores part: Il Dottore’s strength was nearly unmatched in the Fatui being the Second Fatui Harbinger and all.#what most people do not know is that he was… certainly not the best fighter during his Akademiya days.#A claymore was also out of the question - he grumbled when he had to lug his numerous research materials and parts to the desert…#In the end you settled on teaching Zandik the basics of a sword. do with this as you will...#however i am still so proud of myself for fabulam diu oblitus#i was rereading in class bc i was bored and i was like#damn i kinda ate with this#thanks for listening to smooches mini writing life crisis if u made it here#okay i go sleep now... i have midterms this week#OMFG THESE TAGS R SO LONG IM SO SORRY
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my boss said i did a good job nd that hes proud of me a few days ago so naturally i want to fuck him now
#it was like a rly complicated client so the declaration was hella hard#but damn u dont gotta tell me ur proud of me#hes just rly tall nd has dark hair so its literally just that and the fact that i have no dad#but anyway ive promised myself two years ago im never fucking my co worker again nd i dont want 2 break that promise#personal txt
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made a drawing tradition for myself finally and, wow! I'm damned good at this
#my art#artists on tumblr#redraw#art improvement#art progress#original character#oc#blood#blood warning#cw blood#tw blood#vampire oc#pirate oc#vampire pirate oc#yea shes both#im seriously very proud of myself though like damn#i didnt know i could pull that off
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HI GUYS, IM NEW TO TUMBLR AND I WANNA POST SOME ART I MADE (all in chronological order)
#osc art#tyler the creator#kendrick lamar#why am i like this#im so proud of myself#brat#igor#damn.#chromakopia
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We did it joe we did it!!!! I have a fucking masters degree!!!!!!! I did that shit!!!!
#im so fucking excited#it was Such a fast ceremony too#truly just over an hour#im so so proud of myself#i made it through!!!@#thought about dropping more than a couple timea#may not go into this field#but i did the damn fucking thing!!#and i looked so cute tonight if i may say so myself
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dude why is constellations so GOOD (eats every chapter like a starving man in a desert)
#constellations fic#my dumbass: starts reading a chapter of constellations and goes “wow this is EVERYTHING i'd want in a lmk fanfic”#then i remember...oh yes. i wrote it for me#gOD just the way that macaque and wukong fight tho???#how they talk to each other is so good why is the dialogue SO GOOD#UGHGHH Im so proud of myself for writing all that i have no clue how i did it but hot damn
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clinging on to redeem myself as the role model in the family with just a few good test scores 😇😇😇
#this is exhausting#i didnt ask to be born and neither did i ask to be an older sibling#we get what we get right#right??#i hate it here#i literally have to stick to the same routine like its a damn loop#holy shit the only way that i can make myself proud is with my scores now#let alone my family and idek what they think of me#im judging myself more than they do to me this isnt good#ON A WHOLE OTHER SIDE NOTE IF YOURE READING I HOPE TO START A POETRY COMMUNITY#!!!
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this is so random but im like......much more gayer / queerer / dykeyer than i was like 2 years ago like it's crazy
#*#and im like......so much more comfortable with myself#in the sense that yeah i was comfortable being a lesbian and nonbinary but i had SUCHH imposter syndrome like#i was like 'damn am i faking it wtf' and now im like....nah im a fag ERFGFHNGFHGRGFH like it's such a difference#this is also what taking classes on queer culture does to a mf like i use to be one of those 'no leather at pride!!!' mfs#and after learning why and more about queer culture and the ppl who came before me ive just...idk im just gay and im very PROUD <33333#idk why puppy dan has made me reflect on my journey as a they lesbian but......yeah idk esrtfytfdghj#what dangender does to a mf
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y'know originally i had a big "yay i finished my exchange fic!!" post planned but it's literally an entire week late soo. that feels a little pathetic at this point el oh el
that being said - i finished my exchange fic! i have absolutely no control over when it will be posted, but i'll make sure to put it here when it is!
please please please go follow the deadcoddoves twitter account if you're at all interested in this exchange, they'll be posting about everyone else's fics too!!!
#never ever doing writing a fic with a deadline attached again. im too much of a chronic procrastinator for this#i have learned some things about myself though#(1) i tap out at writing about 4k words a day lmao. after getting that much written my brain is drained completely#(2) i am really really bad at not putting things off until the last minute. which i already knew but WOW this made it obvious#anyways!!! gonna go read all the fics i've missed this week! ceil im coming for you#also if we're deep in the tags and confessing things...#y'all i am sooo self-conscious about this fic LMFAOO ohh i hate it. i hate it so much.#thinking about turning comments off on ao3 for it tbh#but i think part of that is because it's so late. like this damn fic was a full seven days late and it's not even my best work???#ohhhh i am Embarrassed. well and truly humiliated#anyways my counterplan is to write a bunch of other stuff im proud of so i can stop feeling like shit lmfao#the mods were very patient and kind tho shout out to them for not hating me
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Don't go, you're half of me now But I'm hardly stood proud I said it, almost
#🌻 | mun art.#when the drawing u doodles to get ur frustrations out goes hard as fuck#damn im actually kinda proud of this weirdly idk. been a bit since ive really drawn for myself so... this was nice to get out at least#🌻 | visage.#blood tw
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#tw weight talk#im rlly proud in myself ive officially lost the weight i put on during my depressive episode this year lmao#im finally below 150lbs again. which is how i started the year but then i got Sad and it went to 165 ish#which isnt extreme or anything but i definitely felt more self conscious and worse in my ability to move or bend#its going to be hard to keep this up in winter (bc edmonton winter is miserable and i dont want to be outside) but hehhhh ill try#produce is also so expensive in winter i tend to go to starchy cheap foods but i guess Im Worth It and i should just spend the damn money
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I dont think yall know just how fucking much i have to reserve myself when i text them
#like I know nothing super extraordinary is happening atm but like... im a touch/attention starved bitch who doesnt know how to process shit#like they finally started typing a response this morning to my tattoo question last night#and when I tell you my neck fucking snapped in the direction of my phone as soon as I heard the snap notif sound......#im not even fucking exaggerating. I literally had to force myself to wait a few to open it bc if not i wouldve opened it the second it sent#at one point my phone was in the kitchen & I was in the bathroom. I heard the notif sound & the response was immediate & pavlovian#I dropped what I was doinf & made a beeline for the kitchen. again made myself wait a few minutes to open it#the urge to geek out & keyboard smash & send a ton of emojis when i text them back is overwhelming#I feel like a fucking teen with a stupid first crush. kill me please#on one hand im like stop being so fucking cringe on the other im like. I wasted my teens/early 20s not letting myself catch feelings#im in my 'fuck it im going to enjoy my life & have fun & not take shit so serious & not hide my true self' era#I spent the last 3 years basically self-isolating self-loathing & in a massive depressive episode#thinking abt driving my car into a median almost daily & telling mself I'll never allow myself to feel or get too close to anyone again#granted I still have a lot of personal/emotional issues I need to work on but im so fucking proud of myself for making it out alive#I told myself at the start of the year that I was going to live in the moment & enjoy what life brings me. Well. It brought me this#and dammit im going to eat this shit up with gusto & a grateful heart because im ALIVE & im happy/having fun!!!#and when eventually this chapter ends im not gonna let myself spiral & hate myself like last time#Instead im going to be happy & thankful that I was able to live & feel & love & enjoy the experience#im fucking worth it damn it#that's all. im a fucking cringefailloser sap & although I lowkey wish I was more normal about it at the same time i dont#emma rambles#personal
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Dont read these tags its sad stupid shit
#sometimes lately ive been feeling like. good and not so depressed and like#psyched i can be proud of myself and start something new#and then i remember like. my boy is gone forever#and wont ever come back and ill never see him again no matter what#and its like ohhhhhh it is meaningless..#idk. lately theres so much new stuff#i wish someone would come back from the past eager to know me again just to hold on to something for a second from the person i used to be#when he was still with me#idk i dont wven feel like myself anymore#hard to reconcile#there was a line in white nights earlier youve reconciled me with myself#he said to the lady he met on the street and is obsessed with#i think its a kinda bad translation but what a sweet earnest thing to say#😵💫#sorry guys i hope no onw reads this#im sooo bad w grief#i have very little in the way of like. anythingnfrom my past or family support that gives me access to my childhood#vent#uhhhhh isk what tontag this#vent post#tw sad shit#i guess#pet grief#my boy is my late cat. i knownits stupid to be so attached to a cat like socially....seen as superfluous#but i was friendless and lived alone for age18-25 with just him 😵💫 even when we lived in one room all my shitnshoved to the walls#idkkkkkk k kk k k k i just feel like. everything is happening now in an epilogue of a book thats been over since he died#and idk why i am still here. kinda. in a basic way#i just have a job to have something to do during the day and i guess groceries. i dont even like eating anymore its so cumbersome#damn idk#tryin to buy smth on best buy dot com really set me off jfc
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