#im probably just repeating the same thing other people have said

[drblacula]

:9 < ok so I can 't sleep wiith this on my mind so : I never understood why some people turn characters that are so obviously trans / non binary ( and everything under that umbrella ) and make them into hypersexualized boytoy bottom twinks . Like okay , I get femboys exist . I 've had femboy friends ! They're very nice ( all the ones I've met anyways . ) But that 's not the point , the point is usually when these characters , specifically the ones that are transfem / transwoman implied or coded are extremely fetishized and sexualized ( regardless if they are minors . ) It 's so baffling to me that these people simply CANNOT ACCEPT THE FACT that non cis people exist like it genuinely needs to be studied . Plus the fact that femboy is an extremely sexualized term , like you have femboys who don 't appeal to the people who fetishize them , they just like to dress up in cute dresses and thats cool ! You have terms that have been made just to try and replace the word which is insane to me . Like maybe I'm just overthinking it but I 've seen wayyy too many times that someone will go " ( insert character ) is trans and i 'm here 4 it !!! " and get fucking dogpiled like ??? it 's so fucked up it 's INSANE . Like I dunno , maybe like read into the lore of these characters and see WHY a lot of people see them as trans . Just a thought you know

[icewindandboringhorror]

Other Misc. Rambling Thoughts on the topic:

(~ !!!!!!!!! if you're just reblogging this post for the Poll section, please reblog the original post without this addition* lol. ~)

(*not that there's anything super personal or weird about the addition, just that it's meant to be kind of casual Side Commentary, not really part of the Main Point Of The Poll, so it would feel kind of weird for it to be emphasized by being included in reblogs unless the reblogs were explicitly about the side commentary, etc..... if that makes sense.. ANYWAY!)

It's neat to read the written descriptions that people are mentioning in the tags, since it's almost like I can see or conceptualize the idea as well, but it's just.. I'm not SEEING it.

Like for example: I can imagine a vase, it's a muted mint green and slightly translucent, elaborate golden birds sprawled down the side in streaks of thin rough watery paint, the base material shimmers gently in the light, there's a small chip where it's cracked on the handle, etc, etc. .. But as I'm thinking about this I see literally nothing.

It seems like perhaps some people can visualize an object first, and THEN describe what they see. But I sort of work backwards. I am building the object in my mind, I can never see it, but it's a collection of concepts. Rather than visualizing all details as a whole at once, I am adding each detail one by one, building onto the IDEA of the thing.

The vase doesn't have a crack on the handle because I just automatically visualized a vase with a crack. It was more that I cognitively understand the concept of a vase, what they tend to be made out of, how they tend to look and feel, the properties they have. So based purely on that knowledge, I can imagine "a chip is something that a vase could have, it would look this way and behave this way" - more like... I'm constructing a bullet point Fact List about the object rather than seeing it.

So if you tell me to imagine an object, I can, in a way, imagine that object in great detail, but it's just.. I'm not SEEING those details, more just knowing it's qualities in a purely conceptual way. Sometimes in the tags when people are like "yeah I can see the skin of the apple, texture, little dots on the surface" it's like… I can imagine that too, I can know it's there, but just with no visual attached.

I guess rather than SEEING something and going ''ah. I know what this looks like because I have seen it''. I more just skip that visual step entirely and go ''I know what this looks like, I just randomly have a list of information about the concept in my mind.'' etc. Maybe similar to how sometimes in dreams, even though a house may look completely different and be in an entirely fake 'dreamlike' environment, you just somehow KNOW intuitively that it's meant to be your childhood home or something. Even when it looks nothing like it in reality. There's a built-in base knowledge of the properties or information of some things within a dreaming mind, etc.

--

This also makes me wonder about like.. how storytelling and myth is so important to cultures all across time. Or how this could tie also into concepts of religion.. etc. etc. If so many people really can kind of conjure these vivid images in their mind, then maybe that's part of why certain things are so meaningful to them? Like a "religious experience" being something you can actually really SEE/feel/lingering with you in your head, rather than just abstract words on a page, detached purely theoretical ideas, etc... hmmm

.

Plus also just for average emotional stuff too, even outside of broader cultural conceptual attachments..

Like, I don't think there's a direct 1 to 1 link (obviously not all people with mental illnesses that significantly reduce their emotional or expressive capacity also MUST have aphantasia or vice versa), but it's interesting as someone who DOES also have a much more lessened emotional range/pretty flat affect/etc. etc. to think like.. Maybe I WOULD be more emotional, in a way, if I could have these vivid experiences..?

Perhaps memories would hold deeper significance if they could really stay with me vividly. Or storytelling would evoke more of a deep emotional reaction to me if I could really picture and feel the things that are going on. If things were more TANGIBLE in my brain, rather than always merely conceptual highly abstracted ideas.

Kind of like, it's probably easier to get over the death of a pet or something, if after not seeing them for an hour you already don't remember what they looked like (beyond just a vague fact list of traits), and you have no vivid memories or mental reminders of them (beyond just factual information stores). COGNTIVIELY you can appreciate the idea of their absence, of course, you still miss them, but there's just no remaining visceral sensory ties. A very "out of sight, out of mind" sort of thing in terms of attachments, memories, emotions, etc. Maybe certain things are easier to "get over", when you're not having constant mental sensory reminders that occasionally rekindle your feelings about the event or etc.??

(like for example, maybe someone could remain angry about an argument longer if they could vividly replay it in their head over and over again. VS just like.. 'Yes I can factually recall the fact I had an argument, and I do have knowledge stored about what precisely was said, but any sort of sensory data such as sights/smells/feelings, etc. from the actual moment of the event are long gone and can never be conjured again in my mind." etc.)

Which again, I think lessened emotional permanence and image permanence in the mind are NOT inherently linked, can all be caused by different things for different people. And, since I can't visualize anything in my head, maybe I'm misunderstanding how it happens and the effect it may have on stuff like remembering things you miss or replaying arguments, etc. etc. But it's still a little interesting to think about, if they could influence each other to some degree.... :0c --

Lastly, It's also weird because I'm actually pretty good at estimating distance and spaces? I can quickly assemble furniture without an instruction manual, pretty easily have a concept of how much space a chair may take up in a room, how two mechanical parts might fit together - BUT, I am literally not actually visualizing anything. I cannot see 3D objects in my mind at ALL. It's like.. just based on the pure List Of Facts About Things Which I Have Observed.. I can intuitively go "oh this works like this/this is this size" just because.. I know it's that size. I don't have to see anything to know..?

But then on the other hand, I'm terrible at directions without a map (I guess because a 3d outdoor environment has WAY more complexity than like.. "Will this square fit into another square?"etc. lol ).

BUT, I also draw/sculpt/etc. entirely without references, and seem to do mostly okay at that..? Like.. I can't even remember the last time I actually used a reference or looked at anything whilst drawing. It's all muscle memory, and me just adjusting as I go until something "looks right" on paper, I never have a set image in my head (or external reference) before hand.. Hrmm....

AND.. I used to say that I had a photographic memory when I was younger, which I know NOW is not true (I always thought it was just an expression, not that people could literally see things in a photographic way). But what I was describing is, I do often associate information with imagery, just... without imagery....

Like "Oh, I know that I took my medicine earlier today because I have a distinct memory, a snapshot of a moment in time, of me rattling the pill bottle in my hands as I looked up at a stop sign while in the back seat of a car". When I say this, I can't ACTUALLY see/feel/hear a pill bottle, or vividly picture a stop sign, but it's more just a factual recall, of. Even though I don't see these things, I know they happened, the information of them happening (me hearing a sound and also looking at a stop sign at the same time) has been stored in my brain as a memory, a collection of linked facts. --

As for other senses, I cannot taste or feel anything in my head AT ALL.. wild that some people mention that. I mean, again, I can have a purely factual recall as if reading a textbook, knowing the information of 'X item typically has X texture, therefore I can imagine what it may be like to feel it' or 'X usually has this taste' etc. - but I can never actually experience those senses in any capacity in my mind alone. I would say audio is my strongest mental sense (maybe a 2.5 or 3 (if it were translated onto the above scale where 1 is most vivid and 5 is nothing)), then visual (4.5 at most, usually 5), and then taste and smell and such are just complete 5, absolutely nothing, I didn't even know people could experience taste or feeling just in their mind alone.. lol...

I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :

-

(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )

[fduck0]

Im also gonna put my little ramble here bc its silly (also go follow Catherine)

(Quick thing, i have kind of big problem with putting my thoughts into words so keep that inmind pls)

I wanna talk ab how sacrifice is a really important part of Wendy's character. Abigail is summoned in DS through blood sacrifice, which is now translated into DST with the shadow Abby buff by having Wendy murder mobs to boost her damage. Telling Wigfrid she can "take her heart" when she examines her ghost, implying that Wendy is willing to die to bring her back. Harming herself while trying to revive Abby with the new skilltree altar and by making telltale hearts for spectral cure-alls. Along with sacrificing her whole life by going into the constant just to be with her sister.

(We can also talk ab how Abby does the same, constantly getting herself killed just to keep Wendy safe, which creates a cycle BUT NOT THE TOPIC RN)

This all gives us a pretty good picture of Wendys view the world and on herself. Sacrifice is not only one of the only ways her bond with Abigail stays alive but is also a way to show Wendy's poor self image. She is willing to harm herself both mentally and phisically for the sake of the people close to her. We already know that in her own eyes, Wendy thinks she's worthless , so its not a really big surprise that she'd throw away her life to bring back someone that's "useful" and that actually wants to live.

AND THIS IS WHERE WEBBER COMES IN. The moon stone quote "Perhaps it thirsts for a sacrifice. Where's Webber..." MAY seem like a slap in the face to what i just said ab keeping ppl safe BUT ITS NOT.

From other quotes, its clear that Wendy values her life as much or less then the creatures around her MOST of the time. As much as she kills butterflies, she also wants monsters like bearger to kill her. To Wendy, death is the only present she wants.Cue to conclusion number 1. Webbers sacrifice can be seen as Wendy trying to give Webber the only thing she wants in life, which is dying.

BUT THERES MORE. Human sacrifice is a bit of a mixed bag, since it can either be "i will sacrifice someone dear to me" or "fuck this criminal im gonna send them to hell" depending on the culture. CONSIDERING THE "you could never be a monster, Webber" quote, the general dynamic and context, its clearly the first one thankfully. This leaves us with conclusion number 2. Wendy views Webber as someone dear to her and worth sacrificing.

But now we get into the deep shit bc this is Wendy. And like this is the most headcanon-y one so if this makes no sense idk beat me with sticks ANYWAYS.

We have to remember her fear of attachment. I've already talked in another post about Wendy's nihilism being a defense mechanism and all of that so im not gonna repeat it, (i havent uploaded that thread on tumblr and its 4 am rambles) but i feel like this can also be part of it. Webber represents exactly what shes avoiding, which includes moving on and vulnerability. While Wendy is constantly driving herself crazy over Abigail's death in fear of forgetting her, Webber tries to make the best out of his situation and enjoy his life, even when lets be honest, it also sucks ass. Its the opposites attract trope. BUT I FEEL LIKE IN THIS SITUATION THERES ALSO THE COMPLEXITY OF THAT AVOIDANCE.

In DS this mf considers bandages pointless because "she'll only get hurt again" and says in dst that its "too painful" to get a pet kitcoon because of that fear of losing it. From this we could easily point to the fact Wendy is probably not only scared of losing Webber, but also the fact being around him DOES make her happy. So the solution for that?

3. Sacrifice him. He's too good for the constant, so the least Wendy could do is try to free him from the pain of living, losing him both to try to do him a favour in her eyes, along with keeping herself safe by sticking to her miserable life instead of trying to work on getting better. BUT OOPS CLEARLY YOU CANT DO THAT SOOOO. That and the way dst has progressed their friendship over the years its kind of too late for that by now so L Wendy. BUT YEAH final conclusion, I think Wendy seeing Webber as someone worth sacrificing is sweet in her own insane way.Like that mf would probably die for Webber, kill for him and sacrifice him on an altar.

Gold star to whoever read all of this insanity ig

[watermel0ns-dumb-cringe]

Okay SINCE I DID A YAP SESSION ANALYSIS ON CONNIE. IM DOING ONE FOR PENNY/JANE. buckle up this might be a tad longer since I'm obsessed with funky lil tragic girls that are doomed to the dramatic irony of their worst fears

Okay. So. Jane/Penny IMMEDIATELY sets up the overall undertone of the musical during Karnak's Dream Of Life. I was admittedly a tad confused upon first seeing it— especially with how it seemed to be brushed off for a good 15 first minutes of the musical. Then- woah. Holy shit. Jane appearing from behind the curtains out of basically nowhere as the "mystery contestant" gave me chills. Her tone as a character is so vastly contrast to the others in such a surreal and unnerving way that you can't help but be so intrigued but wary. Especially with how, like— so many characters similar to her that I've seen tend to be villianized a lot. But- no. She's- she feels more- human. To me, at least. That's the irony of it, huh? She doesn't know who she is. She walks with only the lingering regret & guilt of mourning a distant memory that she might never get back. Cursed to a fate that's admittedly horrifying when you think about it; all without knowing or remembering what she did to deserve such fate. Jane- DEFINITELY has some catholic guilt themeing going on, and it's fun to speculate all the religious undertones and details of her character!

She's just- so interesting to me. I deadass had to pause the musical and stare at my screen for a few minutes after TBOJD just so I could like- take it all in. Since it REALLY. REALLY. Hit close to home for me, as someone who's very much struggled and even temporarily lost their sense of identity, often being deemed forgettable by most— or just straight up cast out and alienated. Being formerly religious and deathly afraid of messing things up and ending up in the bad place was just the cherry on top!

Jane is. Such a complex character to me, ESPECIALLY if you bring (Legoland)Penny into the mix, viewing them as the same person. There's so much dramatic irony and slight foreshadowing in both shows that only deepens her as a character.

She's definitely not dumb or anything, that's for sure. She seems to be pretty damn smart! Guess it runs in the family, lol.

But like- being forgotten by almost everyone, well aware of the horrible fate you've been condemned to. Confused and lost, yet simultaneously an empty shell of someone who used to be "human." Now just. Only viewed as a creepy, unfeeling empty "doll." Not knowing how to properly express your emotions and desperately trying to connect with others, seeking that warmth of familiarity that deep down you know you'll NEVER get back. Nothing is waiting for you after the smoke clears. You've been abandoned by everything you currently know, including "god" itself. Swallowed up whole by time itself like you never even existed. You just want to go home. You just want to feel something— anything. You just want someone to treat you like a person and tell you who you are.

It's. So heartbreaking once you realize some of the implications and slight foreshadowing placed in Legoland. Penny says something about how she was afraid that nobody would notice if she died. There's multiple references to decapitation. Both Karnak & Ricky repeat lines that Penny’s said in the Legoland script. There's so many little details about her and it's just JRHRGSHAHAKJSEGGAJA/vvpos

SPEAKING OF LEGOLAND & PENNY!!

She. Probably harbors a lot of guilt, going off of all the implications & themeing around her in both LL AND RTC. Penny's shoved around a lot from what we know— even to the point of people burning her backpacks & having to avoid the stairs entirely just so she doesn't get shoved down them, risking breaking something. Yeah, she DEFINITELY has her flaws; but that's honestly what made me connect with her. Even without the flaws, I very deeply related to her as well, just as I did with her inevitable future "self." (If you believe in the LL! Penny = RTC! Penny/Jane Doe thing like I do!!) How she just- kinda attaches herself to her interests & the whole lashing out and fucking MAIMING A GROWN MAN reminded me of myself a lot. (I have not maimed anybody for the record. But I did lash out at other kids and have actually hurt them before. Not severely, but- I'm definitely not proud of it. I had BAD. anger & mood issues.)

OH. And then you discover Ezra's existence!! Which. Makes shit a LOT worse! Adds a lot more potential with how you see Jane Doe as well, along with a LOT of potential for Ezra's character as well. UUGauahah it's always the doomed siblings that get me I totally haven't cried over this damned trope before multiple times wdym

But yeah! There's. So many intricate details about everything— the themeing, the implications, hell- even in the character design & NAMES‼️‼️ (The last name being LAMB is just. Really ironic to me. Lamb to the slaughter,,)

RGRHJSSGHD THERES SO MUCH DRAMATIC IRONY ESPECIALLY WITH THE LUCKIEST GIRL IN TOWN THING IAAGKKFK AND ALL THE DETAILS WITH SYMBOLISM I AM NOT NORMAL ABOUT ALL THE DETAILS THEY PUT IN THIS GOD FORESAKEN SHOW SOMEBODYHELPM

so yeah uh I'm. Not normal about Jane/Penny in the slightest! You can definitely tell the Lambs are my favorites JSHSHSSHSJ (Connie's also one of my favorites if you can't tell sHES SO SILLY AND DESERVES SO MUCH LOVE TOO AIAYSGSUIAK)

Everyone in this fucking musical deserves better you can't change my mind (excluding the carnie. That fucker can go die in a ditch <3)

[phightingconfessions]

hey chat robot romancer here to give you your friendly reminding dose of reality!

robots are NOT NORMAL PEOPLE. robots do not have BLOOD RELATIONS robots do not have AGE

as usual, this is about the infantilization of biograft since i still see it sometimes, and even though im not as active in the phighting fandom and the world is HEALING and we have more ROBOT ENTHUSIASTS ALL AROUND THE PLACE, i know there are many people that see biograft as a child and, to be specific, subspaces child

this is your reminder that a biograft is a manufactured product made and designed for war, and while i personally dont see it as one and love to make it into more than it, a biograft is an OBJECT

biografts do not have feelings, biografts do not have age, and biografts do not have relationships

make biografts sentient all you want, i do it all the time, make them have relationships and organic thought processes and all of that, but by all means, do not just say that biografts are small children

id also like to say that while i am defending the shipping of biografts, if you see biografts as children AND ship them with other characters, go fuck yourself, or change your damn views on biograft as a character. id also like to say, on the topic of biograft ships, while i personally dont like the ship much, a subspace x biograft situation wouldnt necessarily be terrible. before you say im defending incest or anything, as ive already said in this take, biografts are not normal people, do not have blood relations, and dont have relationships. while subspace calls biografts his children, it doesnt necessarily mean that biografts feel the same way. its mostly just a "creator that really loves his near lifeless creations" situation in my eyes. im taking this analysis type thing from someone else i saw that said it a while back, but i felt like just a little more people should see it. i personally see it as subspace just really loves his creations, he wouldnt really do anything romantic with them to me, but im just saying i can slightly see it from others points of view. would also like to say like earlier if you see them as father and child and you still ship them get the fuck away from me please. basically if you see biograft as a child or subspaces child and still ship them, youre probably not the best to be around.

but yes id like to repeat what i said at the beginning

BIOGRAFTS are not NORMAL PEOPLE BIOGRAFTS do not have RELATIONSHIPS BIOGRAFTS do not have AGE

BIOGRAFTS are MANUFACTURED TOOLS MADE FOR WAR AND BATTLE.

dont dumb them down to a 3 year old child. fucks sake.

-- yours truly, returning robot romancer.

As a fellow robot enjoyer, I STAND BY THIS. THEY ARE NOT CHILDREN, AS MUCH AS THE COMMUNITY INFANTILIZES THEM. As a Biograft alter myself (apart of Scythe’s system.) I feel the pain of being infantilized despite being a literal killing machine. Biografts ARE NOT CHILDREN, THEY ARE ROBOTS. Now let me ship my biograft ass with other phighters, thank you very much.

[forlornkiller]

I think this ending was so good for this show because it keeps everybody in a state of motion. We’re able to almost picture or envision what the future is going to be like for them because some cycles are destined to repeat but each character has such different destinies you know? this show is so amazing every scene has so much to unpack…. im only gonna choose a couple moments but I hope they resonate

comparing Kendall and roman……. I think we all knew that roman was abused by Kendall growing up but in previous contexts, it seemed like he had changed…. at least yelling at Logan for his direct abuse but to see Kendall do that to Rome was fucking heartbreaking man . tears in my fucking eyes like he does not. deserve this. nobody fucking deserves this and fuck Logan Roy and every fucking abuser that willingly and even gleefully chooses fucking abuse. kendall seemed resigned to his fate to abuse his brother but it’s just not true man. maybe there was more sorrow than glee in his abuse but only maybe. and either way it’s not fucking right. The acceptance of their nothingness is different yet the same…… so many things are different but the same do u know what I mean ?

Kendall, with protection, but never able to do anything again is a fate i can accept for him. It was really interesting to see how their relationships with other people were again and may I just say. I think it’s quite incredibly clear what Kendall and Stewy had and currently flirt with…… i love that but I hate that for them. As delulu it might be for Stewy to think he can save Kendall, he totally thinks that and who knows . maybe some cool fuck shit happens and Kendall’s able to keep one relationship in his life he cares about. but I guess we won’t see .

Oof going back to Roman’s dig about Rava and her kids…….. i think his relationship with them is so fucked and there isn’t enough time for repentance. He spent so long holding onto a dream that was never real and not even worth having in the end, and knowing that so much of his life was around this one thing. seven years old to now….. maybe some intense psychotherapy and retrospection for years is what he needs. it’s probably the only thing he’s gonna get

,, and in this sense I almost wonder if Connor and Kendall are closer than ever as eldest boys. Connor was never offered the dream, and he never became anything. Kendall is what happens when you offer it and it disappears, making u realize it was never really there in the first place. Might’ve been something, but definitely isn’t now. I also think reducing Connor to nothing is not a fair characterization but he’s not really something either.

Shiv……… i wish there was a way free for her. I’m not the greatest at imagining shiv futures but I somehow see purgatory yet nothing at all. She got the deal, she didn’t get CEO and her reputation got a bit fucked but she’s still married to the CEO. whose baby she’s pregnant with. And who she doesn’t like, i don’t think. Because hurting her has been the way she understands love, i think she’s more into Tom than ever and i think she needs him. He holds a lot of power but in the end he offers love one way, she doesn’t respond that way and they stay together but apart. I can’t tell anymore if it’s real or fake. I think Shiv believes what she said, that once you say all the worst shit to each other you can still be together but part of that is WANTING to be together. If you say all the worst shit and at the end don’t know if you want to come back, then I think you shouldn’t get back together. They just keep making bad decisions. Sometimes relationships are best when both people realize how close they are is not how close they actually want to be or should be. Tom offering his hand in the car…….. she called him a phony and I think I agree. There might’ve been love there.. an opportunity to win love but Shiv doesn’t fight for those things, she takes them as givens. A lot of the tragedy in succession is about timing. Bad things happening right when things were getting good, maybe. The consequences of their actions meet later actions and become perfectly destructive. Okay i got distracted back to shiv and Tom i can’t tell who is trapping who with this baby. I am incredibly sad for this future child and wish that Tom got out now, fuck waystar royco and take his piece of shit and go!!!! but they’re in too deep now.

Switching to tomgreg 🤩 sucking the dick of white supremacy, but maybe making changes internally about how things are done. Tom is better than Logan on most levels I think, and great at his fucking job. Will he be able to counter Logan’s legacy with his own consider his part in advancing Logan’s? Wash his hands free from sins?? i don’t really think so but I think he might want to…….. i always have hope like a dumbass hehe but yea I have been wanting Tom and Gerri team up since the beginning on season 4 and while it’s sad to not see that in action, im glad it’s a definite future. I think she’ll see that Tom can actually be competent. Okay sandwiching Tom and Gerri with Tom and Greg, that sticker shit was fucking cute and I totally thought they were gonna kiss before that. Their fight was so fucking funny LOL i did genuinely enjoy watching that. Fed my tomgreg soul for sure 😌

In regards to mattson (and then I’m going back to Gerri and then I’m gonna SLEEP!!) i think what he wanted with his numbers happened, them getting lost in the deal dazzle? It went through and now everybody’s fucking rich. The thing is idk all the legal business stuff so is this gonna fuck everybody over in a couple weeks to months? No clue but for now Mattson’s kinda on top of the world. I really don’t like him tho hehe i hope he gets smashed to death by a pile of his own blood bricks. I wonder if Tom will actually be his front man, or try to kill him at some point too? The urge to serve is so strong in him…… but do I firmly believe that with a healthy kinky relationship with somebody PERHAPS GREG. he would be able to fulfill that and also rule the world? Absolutely man it’s just abt balance 😌 my belief that the acceptance of bdsm would fix so many things in our society & in succession is unshakable okay don’t question me. ANYWAYS

Gerri….. a queen as always. Roman pining from afar is so sad so tragic reminding himself of her with every drink he drinks and thought he thinks. One of THE biggest regrets and him saying that he’s nothing, that all the sibs are nothing? I think in this moment it’s true. I can feel how that is truth for him. With Gerri’s brief flashes of emotion during the funeral ….. i have hope. Succession aside, i really believe have faith in love and its power to save lives & transcend death. I think what they had bw them was real, and with the scripts as well I don’t think that connection was faked. What makes my heart hurt is that in the past it seemed like Gerri was the only one in the room who cared if he was hurt. She can’t necessarily protect him but she sees him. He doesn’t have that, the three sibs don’t have anybody that really loves & knows them enough to be able to deal with this trauma but I don’t think hope is totally gone. I’m an optimist in the end

God this is fucking long I’m a wordy person but overall? GOD i love this show!!! I really think they ended it at a great spot in this way where things keep going. Nobody’s story ever really ends, it feels like it does and to the person living their story it might but being able to watch their lives? You realize that it doesn’t end. I think Jesse’s commentary on the fear behind ending Succession here is super valid though, because there is a message here that is ultimately anti capitalist. If we were able to really see, at length the way we’ve seen the first cycles, how their cycles continue I think it would really wake a lot of people up to how things operate in this society. The longer this nation goes on, the longer the abuse this nation was founded from goes on. I’m going to end here but wow this show has given me so much to think about when it comes to love, abuse, capitalism, society & American culture as a whole like goddamn. What a show man what a show

[corviiids]

it's been a while of this now but im increasingly frustrated about how difficult i find it these days to share my work and my thoughts. on the one hand it's something im desperate to do because i sincerely love to do it and if i can't share my thoughts and creations then the process doesn't feel complete to me. but on the other hand socmed feels so overexposed that every time i put something out there im so hyperaware that this thing that came from me and is often very close to me is now being dissected by strangers, and as my accounts started being viewed by more than a few hundred people at a time, the probability (and occurrence) increased that within that largely very kind demographic there were also bad actors, or people who insisted on playing devil's advocate, people who wilfully misinterpret, people who accidentally misinterpret but in ways that are frustrating, etc etc etc. that kind of repeated exposure and vulnerability gets exhausting after a while and im quite burnt out on it. i take every measure i can to prevent overexposure to every single passing person's thoughts (not that i don't want to hear from people, i love it, but it's different from seeing the same tags 5000 times by 5000 strangers who don't realise the things they're saying have been said to me already - this is no one's fault) which is why my notifications are off on twitter for people i don't follow etc and of course anon asks are off here, but it's just part of the reality and it's the downside of being lucky enough to have a group of people who are willing to look at what i have to say in the first place. that's something im very grateful for but you know, inevitable ups and downs, and it makes me really cautious about sharing meta and fic in the unreserved way i used to when i was younger

it's sad because again, part of the joy of creation for me is the joy of handing it to others in the hopes someone will find it interesting or it'll make them feel something. feeling like i can't do that without also exposing my flesh to being scratched up and stabbed by strangers is just a little too tiring. even making new quieter accounts doesn't necessarily ease that feeling because it's sort of an instinctive response at this point, the phenomenon you may have noticed where people start trying to cover themselves for potential arguments even bonkers ones that no reasonable person would make (im literally doing it right now). and also again im incredibly privileged to have lucked into finding enough people who give a shit about my silly little jokes that im reticent to give it up or take it for granted, even if it raises the chances of someone nasty latching onto me or being bombarded with exhausting commentary.

ultimately it is worth it to me whenever someone finds something i made worthwhile and especially if someone goes out of their way to tell me something i did meant something to them or made them laugh, so i wouldn't change anything. im very grateful to have that! just feeling low and having a sulk!!!

[perpetuallypottytraining]

(im the anon that said regression is not nsfw)

oh okay i get it kind of :thumbs_up:

do u talk abt potty training stuff on ur main age regression acc too or is it just this one? cuz if u do i might follow idk hehe

okay, I thiiiink these are the same person? Probably? Unclear. I'll answer both here, for clarity.

1 - No, I don't talk about potty training stuff on my main, not anymore. I moved those posts here a couple of years ago. The only content that's there are maybe some reblogs from other regressors.

2 - Okay, first of all, age regressors did NOT come up with those terms, nor do they have exclusive rights to use them. Those terms have been used by people for, like, ever. Parents calling their kids "little ones", family members calling out "littles, come over here!" to refer to any younger members, the obvious origins of "mom" and "dad" and their variants, and "caregivers" being tied to both people who care for babies, children, the elderly, and those with disabilities.

If anything, age players have more rights to the terms "littles" and "caregiver" in the context that we're using on this site. They're the ones who originated/popularized them. I know this because I was here, on this site, in 2016, when age regressors decided to split off from the sfw age play community, and there was legitimately tons of discourse about who had the "right" to those terms.

(who here remembers the chire and the other handful of communities that attempted to exclude anyone who liked the parental nicknames and the usage of the word "little" in their regression? I do. god, do I remember. this is the main reason that a lot of old regression blogs specify that they're "community free regression")

Second, I... don't? Tag anything here as ageplay? Everything here is just tagged with omo tags, then with assorted organizational tags - there is nothing here tagged with agere or ageplay - just posts that use the very vague term of "little" and the other term of "caregiver" within the post itself.

(which, I just feel the need to repeat, is a word that even normies use!! my own parents, aunts, and uncles call me and my cousins littles!!! Outside of that, "Littles" is a shared community term!! Littles and Caregivers, as we use them, originated from Dominant Daddy/Mommy and Little Boy/Little Girl - it's the gender neutral version!! Cg/L! Regressors are the ones who decided to keep it!! Because it's vague!! That's intentional!!)

But, yeah, you're allowed to feel your feelings, and, honestly, the fact that you're uncomfortable with the "playing grown-up" tag is something that I anticipated when I made that tag - that it might make people uncomfortable! But, I've been working on making my own boundaries and enforcing them, while not immediately catering to make other people comfortable at the detriment of my own comfort/space.

This is my blog. People didn't like when I put non-sexual omo on my agere blog because it helped me regress. That's okay, and even I became uncomfortable with it after a while, so! I made this blog! It's not my agere blog. It's my soft omo blog. It's nsfw and for adults only. And, only just recently, I decided to take advantage of those two facts and put some other nsfw posts here. I do not want to make yet another sideblog for the handful of "icky" posts I'd like to reblog, especially when this blog is already here.

A nice thing about Tumblr is that tags are now blockable, so if, for some reason, you wanted to follow me still, you'd still be able too view all my other posts while excluding that specific tag. Or you can block me, if you wanted to - you curate your own online experience, and I'll hold no ill will towards you for making sure that you're comfortable and safe.

As for saying thats someone can't be both an age regressor and an age player? Literally what are you talking out????? Huh???? Do you think that adults can't age regress and slip into the mindset of a child while also being capable of, while in adult headspace, in a consensual relationship, roleplay as a child for sexual gratification??? Those are two different things!!! Ageplay is roleplay, and as such, one is capable of adult things! Agere is someone slipping into the headspace of a child!! Healthy communication with one's partner makes it clear what's okay in one headspace and what's okay in the other!!!

I'm not even an ageplayer and even I know that it's possible to do both 😭😭😭 and I just read fanfiction and people's actual blogs!!

As for your sign off, um. Okay? I don't even interact with a.geredips posts and blogs.... even if they're very relevant to me and my regression! Not even with my main!! (I'm also very shy and timid and a bit scared to interact) And, on my main, if people who follow me start breaking people's DNI, I literally softblock or block them - if they can't follow people's boundaries, then they can't interact! I'm just one blog, and I doubt that if anyone wanted to demonize age regressors, they need any help from me - people who deliberately mistag are probably more than enough tbh.

Ageplay and age regression, like it or not, was cut from the same cloth - a cloth made out of a gradient from black to white, with shades of grey all in between. Like a baby blanket! Black/ageplay and ABDL on one side, white/agere on the other, with you and me and my friends and mutuals somewhere in the middle, all spread out across!

Plenty of adults don't think anyone should return to the comfort of childhood things, and look at the whole blanket with scorn and disgust. Cutting off more and more of the blanket, because you think that my grey isn't as palatable as your grey, is not going to change these people's minds. Both of us live in the grey zone, and I personally think that by accepting more of the grey, our baby blanket will be strong enough to handle anything - even and especially people who think our blanket should be torn to shreds.

[lostacelonnie]

Hi, don't know if you remember me but you recently rbed my post about how Siegfried reuniting w his daughters was a rushed scene and I wanted to hear your opinions on the matter? Sorry if it's overstepping but im just curious haha.

Have a nice day!

AH HI!!! right yes i did thank you for reminding me!!!! i have very strong opinions on the matter so ill be happy to share.

(for people who haven't seen the og post, here it is)

THE SHORT VERSION: i agree with you completely and am Extremely Angry at mihoyo because EVERYONE is mischaracterized in that scene. or rather, in the entirety of moon arc, but that's something for another post.

THE LONG VERSION:

I Am So Fucking Mad.

so first of all, im probs gonna focus on bianka a lot in this because im unbelievably obsessed with her. and goddamn was that scene so bad. and also repeat a lot of things you Already Said.

to begin. it's very rushed!!!!!! this scene in its Base Format is inherently flawed simply because... bianka would not reveal her origin that early. like obviously at that point she was already being written very ooc [LIKE EVERYONE ELSE IN THE ARC. SERIOUSLY. IM SO ANGRY ABOUT THAT] but arrrghgh. at least before this scene they at least pretended to preserve bianka's. how do i call it. General Cautiousness?

this is something that clearly means a lot to her and is shown before trying to figure out how to break the news in a gentle way. she is simply not a person who would say [in a very strangely spoken way] "oh im your daughter by the way". She Would Not. this is a woman who would awkwardly try to hang out with these two for a solid 2 months as she feels out how to Tell Them. while obviously, during moon arc she had already spent enough time with the rest of the main cast to Chill Out a bit, she's still just!! kind of emotionally and socially awkward!!! but in a completely different way than showcased in moon arc. does that make sense

also bianka does not speak like that istg if mhy doesn't learn the difference between a character that is Kind Of Serious and a character that sounds like they use a thesaurus for most their sentences-

but kiana and siegfried aren't safe from this either!!!!!! as you said. they departed on Not Great terms and have been separated for years. while they act as if its been maybe a couple of days. its very disappointing for me personally to see the complete lack of regard for the fact that yes, they do care about each other and this reunion is a very happy one, but still!! their bond was. a rocky one.

plus, there's a giant difference between a preteen and, at that point, an adult woman so. siegfried is not meeting the same person he lost. kiana has changed, and due to her experiences- probably even abnormally so, so they NEED to rebuild their relationship simply because even IF before their separation there was no conflict, it would change the fact its been far too long to treat each other as if they have never been apart.

AND the fact that kiana especially was so... unbothered? by the fact that DURANDAL IS HER SISTER. like. do i even have to elaborate. kiana kaslana, world's #1 identity crisis haver, someone who idolized, hated, and respected bianka [in that order], was just like. okay 💗 yay 💗? sighs so deeply. look at how they massacred my girls

theres much more i could say but i dont quite know how to put most of my dislike of this scene into words so like. arrggh. it was personally very very frustrating to me because, as i said, i am a big fan of both kiana's and bianka's. identity, and especially family heritage, is an extremely important part of both of their characters and it was physically painful for me to see a scene i looked forward to A Lot be dismissed like this.

which, unfortunately, is true for most of the moon arc, since it was the worst offender for characterization [or rather, lack thereof] in the entire game, with basically everyone being reduced to a mildly philosophical much so devoid of personality i probably couldn't tell their lines apart if presented with a couple. but alas.

at least salt snow holy city arc was amazing

[muskmelon-enjoyer-199x]

found my old douk-douk from many years ago! that carbon steel is looking a little rough. gonna give him a little TLC.

when I bought him, these were like 25 bucks. Now they're 36 bucks.

ramble under the cut

Douk-Douks have an interesting history. A French dude named Gaspard Cognet wanted to capture the pocket knife market in the French Pacific colonies (specifically in Melanesia). He needed a marketing draw that would boost brand recognition and catch local eyes, though. This was in 1929, so he went to the library and found this in an illustrated dictionary:

...and he was like "wow, this is a thing from an island in Melanesia so obviously all of Melanesia will love my knife if I put it on there. It must be important if it's one of the only Melanesian things in the dictionary, right? Even though my target market is mainly in New Caledonia, im sure they will will all recognize this niche figure from one culture from one peninsula on one island on the opposite end of Melanesia and that this isn't going to come off weird or cause misunderstandings--"

except he totally didn't say that. The dictionary probably just said "fierce melanesian spirit thing" and had a cool drawing, and that was good enough for Gaspard. He was, after all, a white guy trying to market products to black people he had never met who lived as his country's colonial subjects on the other side of the planet. I doubt he considered the differences in their respective experiences and cultures at all. If he did, he probably would've made some different choices.

Anyways, the product flopped. It did, however, succeed in French possessions in Africa. People seemed to like them as work knives, and apparently they were sharpened into razors as well.

One promotional photo shows hunters from an unspecified "pygmy" culture kneeling around a bongo carcass with knives and a sign reading "The Douk-Douk Among the Pygmies." Most of the men look a bit disinterested. They are all wearing the same shorts and t-shirts, and the knives are shiny and new. It's honestly a very strange and contrived picture. There's a lot going on here.

During the Algerian War of Independence, the FLN supposedly would hammer the lips of the handles together to convert them into fixed-blade knives. Some French guys online say that they would cut informers' noses off and stabbed soldiers in the Casbah with them. I'm sure the war was brutal, but I don't know if this story about the douk-douks is actually true. It gets repeated a lot online (especially by sellers), but the only actual source I can find is an untranslated memoir by a French guy.

(The title of this memoir is "Il était une fois mon Algérie à moi: Biographie," which translates to "Once Upon a Time There Was My Own Algeria: A Biography." It seems to be self-published. We are clearly dealing with some reliable stuff here!)

This is a consumer product that was made to sell to lower-income people in overseas colonies. How do you even tell where the history ends and the marketing and weird colonial mythology begin? I don't know what is really true except that people bought it and used it. I wonder if there are things written about it in languages I can't read or even struggle through. That would be the really interesting stuff!

It's a neat little knife, regardless.

[yourbookcouldbegayer]

Hiiiii!

To premise my ask, I am finding difficulty making my two male characters go from friends to dating subtly. Like in a way that makes the reader go ‘OH’ when it comes out. I'm mostly struggling because these are teenage boys who make gay jokes(nonoffensive, just basic stuff I see people do all the time like “that was a little fruity bro” or “if you like me like that just say it” also if that is offense let me know, I'm straight and struggling a bit😭) in friendly banter.

If that was hard to read let me attempt to summarize:

How to write two non main characters subtly start dating?

Idk. Im also new to romance so anything is helpful!

Thank you for reading my nonsense ramblings!!!!

Hey there! Disclaimer: this blog is fairly inactive now, sorry-- most of the mods got busy and and I lost the energy to run it.

However, this is primarily a writing question, and I like talking about writing, so I'll give my advice:

There are 2 questions here: 1 is if their gay jokes are okay, 2 is how to have a background romance.

1: The problem I see here is, if these characters are not out as queer to the reader (like if the reader knows they're queer but not that they're dating), this could definitely read offensive. I don't like hearing about straight people making jokes about us-- the reason gay people might call each other fruity or other terms is mainly ironic or to reclaim those terms. If I'm in a room of straight people making those jokes it makes me uncomfortable bc they're punching OUT, while amongst other queer people, the jokes are made funny because everyone there knows the others ARE queer. Context is important.

That said, there's definitely times where things like that seem to set up a ship (that we have a history of thinking will never be true, but is more and more common). For this I think the joking flirting is perfect. So I think joking flirting is fine.

"Fruity" and other terms, even queerr and gay-- or jokingly homophobic jokes (like, I say to my partner all the time, "that was gay, we don't do that here" and it's completely a joke), may come off wrong. Some things I just do not want to see as a joke period, no matter who says them, how out they are, even if the speaker is queer. Some things I find fine to joke about irl but don't think should be in books because it does reach a wider audience (there's nuance there, no hard and fast rules, but there definitely are things I wouldn't mind jokes about but wouldn't want repeated in books). And then there's plenty of lighthearted stuff that is perfectly fine for queer characters to joke about just like people do irl. I think "Fruity" as yourr example is probably okay when it's from queeer characters but might cause some discomfort if I think the people saying it are straight. (That said, fruity is usually used for gay men, I am not one, and will ultimately differ to those who have more experience with the term).

That said, I think your best move is: let it slip to the reader, or make it kind of obvious, that ONE of them might be into the others, or is queer. Some comment nearly in, some special focus on that character, flattering descriptions of men, or jokes about themselves being queer (or if you're up to it, they come right out and say it).

2. How to write a romance behind the scenes:

My advice? Write it.

I've seen a lot of advice that writeers first needed a warm-up. Before you geet into writing your main story, spend like 15 minutes writing the two of them interact. Have them flirt, have them confess, have them cuddle or do things for each other. Look up fluff and ship prompts, even AUs.

Then, or at the same time if it jives with you, plot out their romance alongside your regular plot. A few points to decide when they happened: when they each started to like each other, when they admitted it, when they went on a first date, when they had sex for the first time (or if, this is optional), other points in the world relationship-- using your fluff scenes as inspiration.

Then you know where they stand. You can add little moments into the main story now. You can have them have an inside joke that they reference because you actually know what happened! (Though, tell us later, after revealing it, even if it's quick). You can have them spending time together that the MC doesn't think that much of.

This romance will not be in the main story, so you don't have to be good at romance. It can be dumb and cringe, or lack real chemistry, bc no one will see it.

The way I describe this sounds like a lot, but my advice with sketching the beats out and writing small scenes can apply to any sub/background plot you have. Really you may only spend like 4-6 sessions doing a warm up with them, then switch to different characters or background scenes or just rewriting smth from a different character's POV, and then plot out the beats once before moving on to another background thing.

If anyone else has any ideas about writing a suble/background romance, feel free to chime in!

-Mod Emma

[slavhew]

Any advice for doing back grounds?? Shits mad confusing im tryna practice drawing like characters actually in them and im going insane

ouu i can't say im a good authority on this, because I never did much in lieu of backgrounds except painting some sunsets. I do have some theoretical knowledge but i struggle putting it into perspective, because depth is hard.

I feel like the hardest thing really is making the characters look like they belong in the environment, and that sounds like your problem too? I think ? So it's what I'm going to try and address here.

One that is in my opinion by far THE most important is to start a composition with the background in mind. It is always going to look somewhat wonky if you don't

(Rest under cut)

(exhibit A)

(this is the reason why I often don't do backgrounds, because a vast majority of my work starts as a doodle that i polish up later) (and also I used a game screenshot here, I didn't actually draw the walkway)

compare this to the drawing that was my inspiration, and the difference in flow and focus is astronomical

A good background can be either super simple, just a backdrop or something your characters actively participate in; in both these instances, it will be much easier to draw it if you start out with it in mind and being able to adjust early on is a massive lifesaver

Second, and most often repeated I think, is to think of the space as 3D, and use some geometry to help yourself out

the most useful part of this to keep in mind imo, when it comes to scaling characters, is that they will also follow roughly that line of perspective that in reality "runs parallel" to the rest of them, but in perspective looks as if it gets smaller

There's probably plenty of tutorials on getting a feel for this out there, but looking at other people's art (and the classics) and sketching over them can help

this is only linear perspective examples, but there's lots of them out there! point is, the character, and many lines of the environment are going to "flow" into a point. It's usually demonstrated with tiles and suchalike, but as you can see it has many applications, depending on how exaggarated you want to make the perspective.

You should also be mindful of the perspective of your character versus the environment. A few things to keep in mind are their lines, and their color/shading.

Colors are relatively simple; keep the source of light in mind so the shading feels in line for both the character and environment (perspective lines help with that too).

(this is definitely not to scale but just, to illustrate my point)

And keep in mind that with especially pieces that have great depth, like landscapes, the color of the environment changes the further you look. The lines blur, the details are lost, and it fades into more solid colors. A character and their palette will be affected by this environmental lighting

With keeping the characters consistent with backgrounds, lines-wise, it really helps to block them in first, because you can easier keep track of how they look in relation to backgrounds, and fix accordingly early on.

it's good (and painful, honestly) to keep in mind how bodies are 3D objects too. I had this great reference for this point, that I forgot where i saved, so we have to do with my amateurish recreation:

These lines are going to get distorted and effected by the perspective too. To avoid the characters looking flat against the backgrounds, try to keep them "on the same level" of exaggaration, so to speak..

And lastly. USE REFERENCES!! there is NOTHING more needlessly painful than drawing something as complex as environments out of your head.

All these things contribute to the complex thing that is. backgrounds. Now, please dont take my word as gospel, considering that even keeping all of this in mind, this is about the best i can do offhand to demonstrate my knowledge lol

I wouldn't be surprised if all the things I said here aren't anything new to you, in which case i genuinely apologize, because I'm also a huge beginner with this 😭 but i wish you a lot of luck on your journey practicing this!! It's a lot of work to be sure.

As sort of a PS, a few pieces with cool bgs showcasing some of my points *a lot* more competently, that I have saved in my bookmarks on twitter:

[x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x]

[olli-online]

the second or third thing i do every morning after i wake up is check this blog so i can see if ive missed anything you've said. i want to pick ur brain apart. the way your mind works is so interesting to me. similarly to minamill in some ways i wish we'd grown up together because maybe we both would have been less lonely but at the same time i'm really grateful we know each other now- even though we're very far apart. if we'd drifted apart growing up i would have never forgiven myself. i miss you an embarrassing amount when we aren't talking. i think i'm probably a little unwell about you but im actively restraining myself from repeating the same mistakes. i think you're one of the most talented people i know from here and with a quick humour and creative spark to match. whenever you're upset or not feeling good it makes me feel kind of sick that i can't physically go comfort you about it- i don't know how to do it right with just words

im going to throw up u cant just say all of this on anon what the 🧎 WHO R U IM GONNA CRY SO HARD RN KISSING U ON UR FACE WHATT yeah im gonna be thinkinf abt this everyday now got me giggling kicking my feet the second i woke up. 'actively restraining myself' well stop it pretty pls 🥺

[hergrandplan]

Hey Nina 💜,

I was wondering about 🌀❄️🌩️ for the writer asks.

Hope you're having a beautiful day!

Hi Sophia, I hope you're having a wonderful day too!!

🌀Post the fic summary for a fic you haven't written/published yet. It can be hypothetical or something you really plan on releasing...

Simply because @bigalockwood shared her end of the deal... (like hers, I am writing summary right now, no other part of this fic exists yett but... it will. this summary is a lot less long though so i apologize if you expected more sakldgj)

If there's one thing you can be sure about when it comes to a Simon Eriksson music video, it's that Wille's going to be in it, one way or another.

Or: despite growing protests of directors and producers, Simon and Wille do everything in their power to get Wille a cameo in every. single. music video

❄️Share a snippet from a WIP of your choosing.

okay i took the longest time debating over what to share and mostly, whether im not plugging this fic that won't go up for months too much but.... have the first few passages of a fic that i'm way too excited about

“I’m going to the Oscars, of course I’m going to bring my best friend as a plus one.”

The video cut to a shot of Felice Ehrencrona, former-actress-turned-food-influencer, walking arm in arm with former Crown Prince Wilhelm, laughing at some joke the audience wasn’t privy to. Simon scrolled past it, onto the next video, the same trend but a different person. “I’m an older sibling, of course”. He closed the app, choosing to stare out the window, watching the LA skyline pass by instead.

Why the Oscars thought it a smart idea to also start inviting influencers, despite the backlash other award shows like the Grammy’s and even the MET gala had received over doing exactly that, was beyond him.

It’s not like anyone actually cared enough about them, and people would only complain about it online.

Plus, what right did they have to be there? It was an award show for actors and actresses. And sure, Felice had done some acting gigs in the beginning of her career, but that was years ago. Inviting influencers took the whole prestige out of it. And to bring the former crown prince with her on top of that? Ugh.

Simon already found it hard enough that he had to deal with actual celebrities who’d probably manage to complain about every minor detail, and now he had to deal with influencers as well? Who somehow had gotten the thought in their head that they were even better than anyone else?

And not to mention a former crown prince, who probably had everything that ever happened to him, every opportunity, just handed to him on a silver platter, and who had never been told no or what he could or couldn’t do.

Maybe Simon should also hop on the trend.

“I’m going to be working at the Oscars, of course someone is going to yell at me because I brought them a regular coke instead of a diet.”

What a glamourous life he had.

🌩️ Share something funny/cracky from your WIP.

Simon sat down on the couch next to Wille, the widest grin possible on his face and a sparkle in his eyes. “I met someone. And I’m pretty sure he’s the one.”

“You said that about the previous guy. And the guy before that. And the guy before that.”

“Yeah, but this time I’m sure of it.” Simon fell back against the couch cushions, and ran a hand through his black curls. “He’s sweet, and considerate, and incredible in bed. I mean the way he–“

“Okay, okay, I do not need to hear you go on about your sexual escapades again, please. Where did you meet him?”

Simon’s hand got stuck in his curls, and he blushed. Actually blushed, and that’s how Wille knew the answer.

“Please don’t say the club.”

Simon didn’t reply.

“Simon, we talked about this. Not every guy you fuck is the one.”

Come ask me about WIPs! (and i have too many so repeats are fine)

[rekikiri]

there are a lot of things in aftg that I think really could’ve just. not been there and I’d have much preferred it. here’s a bit of a vent about things that I dislike about canon (aside from the obvious handling of mental illness and use of slurs and stuff like that. it’s mostly the first two because I do see people talk about 3 a good bit)

~

1. andrew and roland. this is such a big one for me because like? the twins were underage when they started at edens. at oldest he was probably 17 when it started. and I saw somewhere that he was 23?? like that’s all kinds of gross.

NOT TO MENTION. andrew literally says,

“"Presumably he thinks you're as bad at following directions as he is," Andrew said. "Roland knows I don't like being touched."”

andrew literally had to handcuff roland to make sure he followed his boundaries. even if they were the same age, that’s so fucked up. if he didn’t like the rule, don’t hook up with that person. it’s that simple. im sure there were PLENTY of other people willing to hook up with roland, so why did he choose the underage kid with boundaries you won’t respect??

I really wish I saw more fics of people being upset when they find out about it. if I was nicky and I found out my 23 year old supposed friend was sleeping with my underage cousin that I was the guardian of, id have been fucking livid.

anyways fuck roland, she could’ve given us such a cool bartender and we got That

~

2. like why did kevin need a girlfriend? that we only hear about once briefly then meet her officially for a second then she’s gone? and I really don’t like how they met in the first place. he was a CHILD, at oldest when they got together he had to be like 19 because he turned 20 after he moved to the foxes. like yeah he was legal by then but she knew him FROM WHEN HE WAS A CHILD. he was like 13 when she was 18.

and then again, when they see each other again in the kings men. they can’t speak in mixed company?? how brain washed could you be from the ravens. she so clearly is just willing to turn a blind eye to all the fucked up shit that happened there. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if she defended riko

~

3. I really wish nicky respected boundaries. it bothers me that the first openly gay character in the book refuses to respect others boundaries. trying to convince neil he’s gay when he repeats he’s not, kissed him while he was drugged, and the comment about matt being “hung like a bull” is so gross. it implies that nicky was looking in the changing rooms, which is the whole thing that people worry about when changing with queer people :/

[hypersonic04]

i wasnt the person to request angst but i had a teacher!ross angst/fluff idea — it's matter of whether or not i can explain it well enough 💀

ngl it's probably more fluff than angst but anyways... i'm thinking you had quite a difficult time in secondary school with boys + romance specifically, maybe trusting the wrong people and being at the butt end of teenage stupidity (been there ✊😔). usually you can look past this when you're doing your job, you love the kids and you love teaching, but sometimes the school setting and the air of romance between you and ross (im thinking this is pre-relationship, yearning/hard crushing kinda thing), whilst wholesome and precious, also fills you with unwanted dread and anxiety. it's the visual and energetic combination of romance and school that trigger that feeling, i suppose. i think you're scared of repeating past mistakes, being hurt again, despite the idea of teenage heartbreak being impossible at this point. could you fashion something up? maybe ross realises something is up and comforts you about it, what would he do or say etc. or maybe, to dial up the angst, you distance yourself from him a bit, upsetting him, a lot of tension and whatnot, but then you confront these feelings and bad memories together, remake new, better ones — it's your call, i don't mind the direction you take this. either way, this would be very healing for me icl. ANYWAYS LOVE YOU, YOU'RE MY FAV PERSON ON HERE XOXO

I totally get what you mean.

I think you were quiet at school, so when you went to uni and got your first boyfriend, you were a bit naive, and the heartbreak hit you hard (speaking from experience? me? never.). Anyways, like you said, the whole ‘having a crush at work/school’ thing puts you very on edge, and you can’t help but feel negative about it sometimes.

One specific scenario comes to mind. You and Ross had spent the morning together, both of you having free periods, so you go to the school library and find some materials and books for your lessons. It’s very cute, very flirty - he shows you one book in particular, your heads very close together, and then him walking you back to your classroom after. You’re sat in your classroom that afternoon, feeling a bit like a teenager with a crush (which alone gives you a bit of anxiety), but you’re pulled out of the lovesick bubble by the sound of laughter from the hallway. Like the blurb from the other night where new guy was flirting with you, I think it’s the other way around this time - one of your colleagues is just a bit too friendly with Ross, always bringing him up in conversations and making a beeline for him whenever she can. You poke your head out of your classroom to see them both stood together - her manicured hand is on his arm, and she’s looking up at him exactly the same way you look at him, her blue eyes sparkly and blonde hair flicked over one shoulder. He’s looking at her with a grin, nodding along as she tells him something. You swallow heavily and immediately retreat back to your classroom, clearing your throat and attempting to get back to teaching. You feel so silly. It’s just like uni all over again - feeling naive and thinking that someone like Ross could ever possibly be interested in you. Anxiety surges your chest as you wonder whether he thinks you’re silly, whether he thinks you’re throwing yourself at him (of course he doesn’t, this is you we’re talking about. He thinks you’re incredible, you could say anything and he’d take it as gospel.). You’re sat at your desk, eyes stinging a little and feeling really disappointed. You’re scared that you were wrong about everything.

I definitely think Ross notices when you start distancing yourself from him. You pass each other in the hallway later that day, and rather than giving him the warm smile you normally give him, you just kind of purse your lips and make your way past him hastily. He finds it strange, but puts it down to you being tired, maybe? The days pass, and you’ve declined lunch with him, as well as a lift home, so he’s starting to get a bit concerned now. Obviously, he was super jealous when new guy was flirting with you a few weeks ago, so he’s worried that maybe it’s that again. You’re both crushing on each other so hard, and you’re both so worried that things aren’t going to work out for the two of you, that you end up miscommunicating. He’s distanced from you, you’re assuming that he’s seeing blondie, and you’re both in a bit of a state lol.

I think there’s an evening maybe a week later or so when it’s the two of you left in the building. You’re like ‘oh, sorry, I didn���t realise anyone else was still here.’, smiling at him and averting your eyes from him as you stand in the staff room, washing your mug in the sink. It’s a bit awkward between the two of you as he stands there, hands in his pockets, unable to take his eyes off you for some reason. ‘How’ve you been?’ he asks, clearing his throat. You look at him a bit surprised, realising it’s actually been over a week since you’ve properly spoken - ‘uh, yeah, I’m okay. how’re you?’ - and he says he’s been alright too. You’re liars, both of you. A conversation comes up where she’s mentioned, maybe a staff night out or something, and you’re like ‘yeah, she said you’d be going together, or something.’, feeling a lump in your throat as the words leave your mouth. He frowns immediately, shaking his head a little - ‘uh, no. I don’t think so. I’m not sure why she said that, we’ve not really spoken about it.’. You can’t look at him because you’re just so sad about the whole thing. His heart breaks when the cogs start turning in his mind, piecing it all together.

“We’re not a thing, you know?”

He kind of just says it. He knows it’s a bit of a big thing to say, assuming that you’d care, but the relief that visibly washes over your face makes his stomach flutter. He knows you’re not with new guy (because he outright asked him earlier, it was killing him), so he wonders whether maybe this is a bit of understanding between you both.

“Oh, yeah, I mean-“ you stutter a bit. It’s silent between the two of you until he suggests that you go together (cue Christmas part blurb, one of my favourites, here!), and you cannot fight the smile on your face.