#im probably going to delete this later because i do NOT want arguments i will not be budging on this so dont waste your time

[tyranitarkisser]

I do not understand this new obsession with having the "right" reading of a fictional character. Oh so and so cant be a trans boy because how could he have figured himself out by 13 - Why do you care? What do you gain from professing your personal reading of this character as the correct one? How does someone hc'ing this character as a trans man affect your enjoyment of the same character as trans woman? It doesnt!!! Just dont look at their art!!! Stop trying to start arguments for no reason!!! We are talking about our enjoyment of fiction and what everyone takes away from their favorite fiction is 100% informed by their own upbringings and relationships. You dont have to understand it to respect other peoples headcanons. Who CARES if it defies canon in some way. Why does it matter so much to you. Jesus christ

[smileymoth]

.

No i hate actually how much my dad has shaped me into a person and how i interact with things. I hate that i'm just like him sometimes and i express my feelings in the exact same dysfunctional way sometimes. That i lash out in anger sometimes. That i hate when people do things the "wrong" way. I hate that i had to fear him every weekend when he came home because what if the rooms werent clean enough and he would yell or be mad. I hate that i had to walk around eggshells around him when he was in a bad mood so he wouldnt yell at me, and i hate it more that it still fucks me up to the point that i run away when someone is upset bc im afraid of them. I hate that i would have such horrid anxiety abt him coming home on the weekends or staying at home for longer that i wished he hadn't come in the first place. I hated so much how he would twist my moms words, and read through all her messages and browse through all her history and shit on her and me for how long we both spent on the computer so i learned to delete history to get away with more computer time. I hate how one time he slapped me so hard on the thigh that it left a bruise but he denied it later so i have no fucking clue if it actually happened because hes never been physical w me and my mom but i remember it so vividly. It was 1 time and never again and in 3rd(?) Grade and i still remember it every now and then. I dont like it that i hated being at home because 80% of the time they were fucking arguing with my mom in the kitchen over something HE made up because HE was jealous of my mom or didnt like sth that my mom did bc HE didnt like it. He caused her so much grief and she had to put up with it and i followed suit because i wanted him to like me so i was nasty to my mom to please him. I had to listen to him rant abt mom and just nod along because i didnt know what to say. And then he started getting better and he wasnt so argumentative anymore so me and my mom were like omg hes changing. And then he fucking died. And i had to watch him die at the hospital while repeating to myself he will be fine becwuse hes a big strong man who has never been sick so he MUST survive, all while doing homework for logo class. And i woke up on tje morning of the 28th dec at 5am with the thought that my dad is probably dead. I brushed it off like haha im just anxious and went to sleep again. He died at 4am. I knew, i felt it.

And now i miss him so often because he was just misguided and didnt know how to deal with his emotions properly. But he still hurt me so bad and my mom even more from what shes told me. And i dont hate him at all even though i would be so scared of him id be nauseous and id cry before he came home bc i was so scared he woild be mad at me. i love him so much but i see him in my dreams so often and hes always so mean and rude in them and it sucks because i miss his hugs and i want him to hug me again and make jokes with me till im crying and i want to wake up on a saturday and go to tje kitchen to see him watching a russian youtube video about construction or "тор 10 момент" compilations while he eats his megapacked mayo grill sandwich and then he turns the water to boil so i could have tea. I want my dad to calm me down again because he was the only person who could do it at times. I want to be like hey dad im struggling with schoolwork can i just sit next to you and brainstorm out loud until i come up with something and yiu can help me think. Hey dad look im knitting a sock hahah yeah i know im crazy for that haha yeah. I miss him but i dont miss tjat he was so awful all tje time. Why couldnt he just be normal why did he have to be a controlling little freak who wanted everyone to do just as he wanted it to happen. And now wjenever sth happens i always find a way to connect it to my dad without wanting to. I hate it. I dont want to think of him as much because all my thoughts about him are so confusing and complex because of the person he was and it makes me feel worse and more confused and yet also nothing. Im happy my dad is dead because my mom is in a much happier relationship right now and i no longer fear coming home because What If hes in a Bad Mood and therfor walking too loud will make him yell. And then he will claim he didnt. While he clearly did

[munsonology]

Well I need a new therapist lmaoooo

I told her I was uncomfortable regarding a certain celebrity.

I don't mind them as a person, though I feel they are v performative on certain topics and exploits things for money. My main issue is they don't tell their fans anything like they don't say hey no death threats. Maybe they have and then I would feel slightly better about the person, but the fans are moreso my issue.

Regular fans are fine, my sister is. But its the rabid stans who want to crawl in the celebrity's ribcage to breathe the same air as them. Crazy. True definition of stan. Like, I know someone who quite literally went to this celeb's concert not once but THREE times. Fine no big deal, enjoy, I've been to a concert more than once just not in the same concert season lineup thing. Except they then begged for money because they had spent their money for rent and their BABY who is going through a growth spurt has no clothes that fit- this person even said they spent the money on the concert in the comments. Like what???? I've seen fans doxx people for having a differing opinion. Just not people I feel comfortable associating with

Normally idc im not involved whatever, just avoid them. The REASON it got brought up to my therapist, wasn't because I just randomly dislike this celeb. That isnt the reason.

The REASON it got brought up is because Spotify wrapped happened and I mentioned that I was uncomfortable because two people who severely fucked me up mentally (one was emotionally abusive and the other harassed and stalked me) had this artist in their top 5. Also My ex friend who ended up posting pictures of my house when she knew I had a stalker (I had moved snd they hadn't found this place until they posted) also had this artist in top 5. (And yes if was malicious, we had an argument and then they posted the outside of my house, sure they deleted the post later but the guy had already seen it as she had a public account and he followed some of my friends on fake accounts. We weren't friends after this)

I made the comment that they all had widely different tastes but all liked the same artist, and I made a joke that I should have known it was a red flag (we had spent the therapy session discussing signs i should have noticed in these people and ways they were alike which made me even think of the artist WHICH is why it was brought up).

And to be fair the reasons I listed of the people who have done things to me are probably why I dislike the celeb.

But my therapist actually called me stupid and wrong because apparently the artist was in THEIR top 5. Which, uh, okay my bad. Started going hard against me, even cursed at me So I again point out that in my mind it's linked to my abusers and people who betrayed my trust, and my therapist went "the majority isnt like that" to which I mentioned the rest of the points about things I've seen online. I guess I could have just apologized but she was coming at me and I was already on edge talking about everything, then they called me stupid and berating me...

Well I was uncomfortable then but i thought "hey, you did insult someone they obviously like, it's normal to be a lil defensive" and was like well we can move past. But no, quite literally this last session sealed the deal, because instead of talking about my trauma or anything, she made me listen to their albums. Which wtf??? Who does that irl?? Explained all the nuances and the theories and shit I DONT CARE about. I tried to tell them, but ok I also infodump on things I care about. Then they told me that my abusers must not be THAT bad because they have good taste. I walked out. Still got charged for the full session, and I filed a complaint. I dont see how they have their license????

I'm pissed rn haha and it actually had the opposite effect and has solidified that I do not like this artist in my mind. At. All.

Aww bestie that sucks 😭 first thank you for sharing! Second, this therapist is completely unprofessional. They shouldn’t have let their personal like of this artist affect how they’re treating you during the sessions YOU pay for.

And the fact that someone spent their rent money and their baby’s money…where’s the priorities, where’s the values, where’s the morals?

For me, I’ve also disliked a celebrity because of their fans and fandoms. Especially on twitter. I could write a whole thesis on how dysfunctional this fandom is on twitter 💀

There’s good and bad sides to all fandoms, I think in general we all have to find where we fit and surround ourselves with people who value us as much as we value them.

Anon, you have every right to like or not like something. That’s what makes friendships beautiful. I hope you’re able to find a therapist that can support you properly anon 🩷😭 some of these people get their license out a happy meal

[plugnuts]

Forced to spend my time on a phone that doesn’t want to charge :)

This was supposed to be JohnKat day but I can’t participate and I can’t stop being sad :)

Yeah I can’t even use the happy face ironically today has been so bad I’m sorry I’m even posting this I just want to vent a bit I dunno :(

[shoezuki]

This is a post on the cheating accusations around dream mostly surrounding his response video.

If you don’t want to see this or any of these posts then blacklist the tag #discourse

SO I’ve been doing a lot of digging into what dream has said in his response to Geosquare’s original video and report, which was compiled and conducted by the Minecraft Java mods on speedrun.com. 

I won’t talk about that original report in detail, but basically: the mods came to the conclusion that Dream had a 1 in 7.5 trillion chance of getting the pearl bartering rates and the blaze drop odds that he did within the 6 streams he did. As in, someone would need that luck to replicate what dream got. Therefore, he cheated. 

I’m going to put this into a sort of ‘point form’ in according to topic, attempting to put it in chronological order.

Dream’s Initial Tweets

Ok so first like. these are bad. these tweets are what he said (on twitter, excluding in the speedrunning discord) directly after the video was Uploaded to Geo’s channel. 

worth noting he did apologize later, although i wanted to talk about these two instances so i felt the need to include it. 

there’s a lot of interesting wording in the apology tweet itself too. I personally find that when he apologizes he tends to still be very subtextually angry in them with the tone, but more specifically. where he says ‘although i have reason to be upset’, that’s kinda weak and really unneeded. Alongside the ‘intense criticism’, it reads as him trying to say he’s still in the right. kind of like “im sorry i was rude even though I had reason to be rude’. Its an apology sure but he’s not saying sorry for how he really reacted; its justified to him.

Dream’s Response Video

Dream posted a response on his side channel DreamXD on the 22nd, along with the report he had a supposed astrophysicist conduct. I’m going to talk about the report separately from the video for reasons I’ll explain. 

Frankly, the video doesn’t really summarize or explain the report in a meaningful way. At most, it takes some points from it but tends to twist the numbers around, misunderstand the probability and math, and also what the report itself concludes. 

Essentially, dream’s video insists that the numbers found by the mods are wrong and therefore he didn’t cheat at all, yet the report concludes that the numbers found by the mods weren’t entirely accurate, however they’re still extremely unlikely. This is also all under the assumption that the report is entirely correct (ill say how its not next)

His first point is that only his 1.16 run (that was at 5th place two months ago, would have now been 16th) was deemed cheated. This is true; the mods have said that he isnt banned outright and theres no reason to question the legitimacy of his 1.15 runs. 

He also concludes that Geo’s statement that Dream didn’t cooperate with them, and that he deleted 1.16 mod folders, was false. This one is a little more complicated. It could more be chalked up to a miscommunication, although it’s relevant. Geosquare posted screenshots of the specific conversation they had:

Essentially it wasn’t entirely clear, i can understand how geo and the mods interpreted it in such a way. Altho April added in a quote retweet thread that dream didn’t supply the folder she asked for, so he didn’t supply everything they asked for like he states in the video

Essentially: yeah, misleading and weird on both ends. I dont think this is really anything quantifiable, although dream talked about this in the video heavily. 

Out of this though, Geo DID correct himself in the description of the mods’ video. Dream shows this in his own response, but it crops out some of what geo says. here’s from dream’s video

that Update 2 is where he corrects himself. literally why the fuck would you crop it like this and put it in the video i mean this looks so weird and genuinely doesnt provide anything. Here’s what geo actually said

Dream specifically cut it before the line where geo mentions how he said he deleted his specific 1.16 speedrun profile. This one is just so dumb to me. I’d say ‘why not include that’ but either i feel its a) so there’s no potential for people to say what he had actually said could be interpreted otherwise easily or b) doesnt want people to know he got so upset he deleted files (ego wise yknow). Again, I dont think this is definitive of anything but god. it feels scummy lmao

The Video: Incorrect Representation of His Own Report

Dream straight up doesnt present the report’s numbers properly. In fact it makes the entirety of his visuals forfeit, i.e. the gold block analogy that goes on for like 20 minutes. 

The mods said his luck was 1/7.5 trillion. Dream’s report says its 1/10 million (with the addition of 5 other streams) or 1/100 million (only the 6 streams).

I’ll only consider the 1/10 mil odds, since its all dream really brings up. but Basically; there’s not much difference between 1/10 million and 1/7.5 trillion. 

Dream says that the difference is 7.5 trillion minus 10 million, aka 7.4999 trillion. This is what his entire visual with the gold blocks is based on. This is absolutely incorrect, i cant stress that enough. 

You can’t find the difference of fractions by subtracting only the denominators. Like. this is elementary school math. it just doesnt work. 

It’d actually be calculated as: (1/10 000 000) - (1/7 500 000 000 000) = (74999/7 500 000 000 000)

If the mods are wrong, they’re only wrong by 749999/7.5 trillion. that’s literally only  0.000000099999866666667. 

Dream no doubt saw the numbers, considered 10 million vs. 7.5 trillion, and used these big numbers to hold his own point. PROBABILITY DOESNT WORK LIKE THAT. I really think he was just taking advantage of the seemingly big numbers here and wrote it out in a way that favoured him. The gold block analogy in the video played throughout the entire video practically, jokes were made on it, and he made a point of it being ‘so big the game crashed’. 

It’s just plain wrong. even so a difference in the odds doesnt prove shit. He’s downplaying his own odds that he found too. 1/10 million isnt a small number. Even though the legitimacy of that calculation is in question, it is still significant enough to proclaim he cheated. 

Some quick points before I move onto the report; these aren’t as significant in my eyes but it adds to the picture

there’s been criticism of his joking manor throughout the entire video, very specifically the Bill Nye joke. Considering he doesnt actually have a name to provide for his astrophysicist, this joke doesnt feel right

the mod he had a voice clip from (willz) even believes that he cheated and has agreed with the mod team the whole time. 

Dream never has a name for the mod who is apparently on his side (more understandable), the minecraft developer he quoted, or the astrophysicist (most damning)

Dream states that fabric is used by most speedrunners which is true, but fabric and fabric API are different; dream also had the latter installed. my knowledge of how theyre different is limited, all i really know is the API is what can enable editing of the code while fabric is more a modloader. im not entirely sure on this

Dream has said at the end of the video that all funds will go to the mod team so they can make a client that will regulate cheaters. this has been noted as feeling manipulative or like a ‘bribe’, but it definitely puts the mods in a bad position. 

either they accept it and look like they ‘gave in’ to dream and therefore acknowledge him in the right

they deny it and look selfish/taking dream’s kindness for granted

geo said they would insist it goes to a charity instead

Dream constantly disregards the mods as young, inexperienced, ‘just volunteers’ etcetcetc, despite the fact that theyre analysis has been discussed by people with confirmed PhDs without much criticism

Dream’s Report

The report itself is extremely interesting, in that it’s very questionable, but even so it doesn’t come to the conclusion that dream didn’t cheat. The tone between the video and the report is drastically different. 

This is from the “3. What are the goals of this document?” section:

It essentially says this isnt intended, from the very beginning, to completely exonerate dream of cheating. Also note that the author says the mods’ report was mostly correct. 

This is at the end of “9 Conclussions”:

It does notably say cheating isnt the only explanation, but it doesnt actually go as far to say that it’s not possible that he cheated. 

But this can be argued to not matter if we consider the validity of the report as a whole

Dream’s Report: Criticisms

Possibly the first and most known debunking of the report is by u/mfb on reddit, although there’s been much more such as this programmer criticizing the code provided at the end of the report (partially due to how the author of it stated that piglins barter 4-7 pearls, which is incorrect: it’s 4-8), Andrew Gelman, an actual statistician professor from harvard, commented on the original mods’ report as ‘impressive’ while Dream’s report is being regarded as something funny in the comments, and even analysis of dream’s behaviours and his argument by a law student

But what u/mfb posted is what i’ll focus on. Some background into the user; he’s a particle physicist, is moderator in subreddits like r/cosmology and r/astrophysics, he’s regarded as a reliable source on r/askscience and r/askreddit. Basically, multiple other people have vouched for him and before all this he had many posts in these fields. 

that’s already better than the unnamed astrophysicist. 

The post is better speaking for itself but here is a few exerpts from it;

Essentially, the report’s methods are debunked by u/mfb-, alongside that a moderator of r/statistics regarded the report as ‘nonsensical in its application of statistics’ and linked to u/mfb-’s comment. 

i’m going to end this here. Partially because severe backpain or whatever,.

but I want to say at this point its practically definitive that dream cheated, that he lied to us, and that he continues to do so. Much more could be said on his video such as his tone, intentions, the overt emphasis on the ‘biases’ of the mods. 

I havent even mentioned that the ‘astrophysicist’ themself may be a scam; they are sourced from a website that is extremely sketchy, has no names attached to it, and was created less than a year ago (with practically no traffic on it until maybe a month ago). 

But i hope this is coherent. I have interest in this so if theres questions im always open. 

[backhurtyy]

tagged by @zukkaclawthorne !!! thank you for the tag my dear!!!!

1) why did you choose your url? i'm ace and i like dragons.... zuko's ace and he has a dragon.... bam

2) any side blogs? i have a star wars side blog @aceobiwan

3) how long have you been on tumblr? uhhhhh i was on here in like 8th grade? and then i deleted my account, tried again in sophomore year, deleted my account again, and now i've had this one for a year.

4) do you have a queue tag? no i spam people with a bunch of nonsense then vanish into the ether and then do it again a little bit later

5) why did you start your blog in the first place? i was desperate for more zukka content and also wanted to promote my fics somewhere

6) why did you choose your icon/pfp? i actually made it!!!! i just wanted an ace zuko pfp to go with my blog but i didn't just want it to be a flag behind him, so... i did some editing :)

7) why did you choose your header? because i adore terra with my entire heart and it was the first time anyone had ever made me art for one of my fics and i loved it and it's just so NICE to look at! although, i will say that it will be changing tomorrow....

8) what's your post with the most notes? the one i made about asexuals being transcendent

9) how many mutuals do you have? uhhhhhhh....... a lot? always more than i think i do

10) how many followers do you have? 585

11) how many people do you follow? 222

12) have you ever made a shit post? my entire life is a shitpost

13) how often do you use tumblr each day? .....so often. far too often.

14) did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog? who won? i really hate drama so. no

15) how do you feel about "you need to reblog this" posts? despise them. i don't want to see them. they make me anxious.

16) do you like tag games? yeah!!! i don't always do them but i always smile when i'm tagged in something

17) do you like ask games? PLEASE TALK TO ME

18) which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? oof uhhhhh jo probably? uhhhh i feel like alex's blog is really popular too. and im mutuals with a lot of the blogsquad? i would consider them tumblr famous. or at least in our little atla bubble.

19) do you have a crush on a mutual? what is a mutual if not someone to be platonically in love with?

20) tags? i am tired and have been looking at a computer all day so i don't really wanna... think about tagging so. bam if you want to do it, you're tagged

[bedtimebrain]

EXO D.O.: A Little Jealous Part 2! (Your POV)

This part 2 took me really long to get it out. I had initially written it in both Ksoo and Your ‘pov’ in one post. But it got too long! So i decided to change it to just your POV(the norm). I still haven’t decided if i should finish the one on Ksoo’s POV.

Edit: I continued Ksoo’s for fun without the intention to finish it, but I think it turned out pretty decent! So His POV’s part is also up now!!

Part 1 Part 2 Ksoo POV Characters: DKS x reader (+exo & random chr)

————-

Back at the team dinner

At the center of the circle, the bottle spun to minho.

‘Truth or dare!’

‘Truth’

‘Ok so, the team has been really curious. WHEN DID YOU AND Y/N STARTED DATING?!’ Ji Hye asked like she has been holding this in for 10 years.

The both of you were a little taken aback at the question, looking over at each other with a laugh.

‘We are just friends, what gave you that impression? We never dated and will never date guys’ Minho answered

‘No way! You guys definitely look like a couple!’

‘Comeon say the truth y/n! You guys are always hanging out together, i even saw you carrying y/n’s bag for you today’

‘yes yes! Weren’t you both holding hands that day?’

Everyone chimed in disbelief.

‘Didn’t know we appeared this way to you guys. Anyway I was just holding y/n hand to shake off this guy who has been bothering her. And I was just helping Y/N with her bag because she looked like she might die anytime just now’

While everyone was sighing and expressing their disappointment, minho made the next spin. You rolled your eyes at minho when it pointed to you.

You picked dare, wanting to divert the team’s attention to something else instead.

‘Ok then, pick from the dare box.’ You reached your hand into it and pulled out a purple strip.

‘Take a selfie with the person from the previous turn and upload to instagram with the caption ‘a cute us’

You almost had a heart attack reading that, this just fueled everyone’s enthusiasm even more.

Although you knew that kyungsoo probably won’t see this since he doesn’t have instagram, you can’t help but feel guilty and worried about it. You’re attached! (Though you can’t say it) and doing this just doesn’t seem right..

There’s absolutely no way you could get out of this. Denying doing this just makes things seem more suspicious between the both of you. 

Making it fast ,you did the dare and uploaded the picture. Totally forgetting the fact that other members followed you with their privates. You told yourself in 10minutes you’re getting out of here and deleting that photo.

-----

As usual, minho sent you back. After such a long day you can’t wait to just take a shower and flop down on your bed.

Heading to the shower, you screamed at the sight of a bug.

Running to your phone you sent a SOS to minho,

‘THERE’S A BUG PLEASE COME BACK AND SAVE ME I DONT CARE WHERE YOU ARE’

Just 2 minutes later the bell rang. That was certainly a little fast, you thought to yourself.

Running to the door, you shouted ‘MINHO YA!’ Opening the door, you were surprised to see kyungsoo’s face instead. 

'Oppa, why you here ? Did your photoshoot end early? You didn’t text me back tho...’

‘Uh are you expecting someone? Minho?’

‘Oh right, speaking of which I dont need him now, let me drop him a text. Oppa come in and kill the bug for me please!!’ You dragged him right to your shower and stayed far away while he rid the bug for you.

After the bug extermination, you can’t help but sense something’s not too right with kyungsoo tonight.

Hoping to loosen his seemingly tense frame, you reached out to hug him

‘Thank you, for killing the bug’ at the same time flashing him your sweetest smile.

Sitting down and linking your arms in his on the sofa, you asked,

‘Oppa, do you have something to tell me? You don’t look particularly excited or happy to be here today’

Kyungsoo looked to you, and for a good while, did not say anything. Instead, breaking the body contact, he reached for the glass of water on the coffee table; gulping it down as if it was his courage portion.

‘I saw that picture. The one on instagram.’ 

Your heart stopped, a wave of guilt washed over you as you started to explain yourself

‘Ah that.. sorry oppa, it was a dare I had to do at the team dinner, I tried so hard to avoid it but I couldn’t say I was attached either.. ’

‘But the string of comments sure made it sound like you guys are the most popular ship in your school?’ Kyungsoo replied with distaste lacing his voice

It dawned on you that you had never shown minho’s picture to kyungsoo, perhaps that’s why he was so upset about this. He must have thought the guy in the picture was someone special to you that you never mentioned.

‘Oppa that’s actually Minho in the picture. And you know we are just really close friends.’

At this Kyungsoo looked a little stunned. You could tell he was in the midst of processing his thoughts as a frown started to form on his forehead.

‘I don’t really like you hanging out with minho.’ Kyungsoo blurted out 

Now, you didn’t really understand the situation. What’s with kyungsoo acting like a possessive boyfriend? 

‘You were always okay with minho and i hanging out. Why does us taking a picture change that ?’ You were a little irritated, you stood up and started raising your voice.

Seeing that you absolutely lost your cool, kyungsoo didn’t hold back either

‘y/n do you know how i felt looking at those comments?! I am not okay with the whole school thinking you both are together when you’re supposed to be my girlfriend!’, he got up from the sofa in frustration

‘Ya! Even if i am not friends with minho, I can’t always avoid such situations! Because i can’t tell anyone i’m attached, guys still hit on me and people think they can pair me up with random guys because they think i’m single! 

To me, they can think whatever they want but minho is just a friend. Oppa, shouldn’t you of all people understand this the most?’

‘You’re asking me to understand when minho actually looks your ideal type? And i never knew about it?’

You were caught off guard at this question. Your ideal type? Tall, well built, sporty , fun... Suddenly realising minho does fit the bill for your ideal type.

Though feeling a little bad now, you were not going to give in to this ridiculous argument. Your friendship with minho was on the line. 

‘My ideal type? If we wanted to get together, we would have long ago ok! Why would I get together with you then him?!’

You both stayed silent for a little while, turning your backs on each other at the peak of the argument. 

Calming down, you told yourself this could go on and on tonight, or you could just take a softer approach towards your boyfriend.

Out of love, you put aside your frustration and hugged him instead. Leaning into his chest, you didn’t know exactly what to say either. 

Dropping to his low voice, kyungsoo muttered ‘When I saw that picture, it felt like my nightmare came true. Every night i get worried that you would one day get tired of dating an idol.. Or even dating someone like me..’ 

You never knew kyungsoo felt this way, he was never particularly expressive in the relationship. You knew he liked you and genuinely cared for you, but you never knew he loved you this much. 

‘we don’t spend alot of time together but you always get to be with minho.. so much that people think you’re both attached..’

At this point, you saw through him. You came to understand the picture triggered his insecurities and manifested as jealousy. 

You pulled him back down on the sofa and started 

‘oppa, i cannot promise you people will stop misunderstanding minho and i, but i will be more careful to draw a clearer line in our friendship for you. 

and i never thought of minho as my ideal type or saw him in a way more than friends. i know it might not put you at ease hearing me say this, but can you trust me? 

I have been friends with minho for many years and have met many guys too. But it’s you for me ok?’ you held onto his arm and looked in his eyes saying this, hoping he sees what you feel for him.

Poking him at his little belly, you continued light heartedly

‘though you may not be the most attractive looking man out there...’ causing him to look up at you as you say it.

Giving him a peck on the cheek you continued

‘but you make me feel comfortable and special all at the same time. saranghae oppa, you’re the only one.’

At your words, he pulled you closer and rested his chin on your head, saying

‘ Though i still don’t feel the best about our situation and about minho, but i know we can’t help this.. Just promise to stay with me please’

Raising your pinky finger and turning up to face him,

‘ i promise you oppa!’

Linking your pinkies together, kyungsoo finally smiled back at you today and said

‘na do saranghae’ didn’t really turn out the way i thought it would for a jealousy story, haha. but still hope you enjoyed it!

on a side note, im thinking of doing this scenario for baekhyun too! i think his might be much easier to imagine, hahha. if you’re a baek fan please don’t expect too much tho! it won’t be as long as ksoo’s if i actually do it~

[koko-bopp]

Exposé

min yoongi x jeon jungkook x male!reader

word count – 4K

genre – Angst, fluff

warning(s) – argument scene, mentions of homophobia and racism,

synopsis – An incident happened where your boyfriends had had an interview on national television, and one of them publicized your relationship with then. You're the manager of Bangtan, so your concern fell on your job, your relationship, and your life, but also what it meant for the jobs, lives and relationship of your boyfriends.

A/N – for @thatcucumberwhore :))

"Are you guys fucking kidding me?"

Jungkook accidently jumped at the tone of your voice, though Yoongi seemed less surprised. You'd come in practically throwing down the door of you and your boyfriends' apartment, and that being said, you weren't surprised that Jungkook jolted at the noise, it was unlike you.

"Hyung, er–" Jungkook tried his best to speak up, but was cut off quite quickly.

"I'll get to you later," You snapped, and your attention was fixed on Yoongi. He stayed silent, which is a habit that seems to occur whenever he was nervous, but you were fuming, barely thinking about what your boyfriends' might be thinking. "What the fuck, Yoongi. What the actual fuck, you can't just announce shit without–"

"I did," Yoongi argued, standing up from the couch, looking up at you in anger, "And frankly, so did Jungkook, and you knew damn fucking well it was gonna happen anyway."

"You didn't fucking consult me, Yoongi," You grinded your teeth down, doing your best not to react irrationally, "You can't just make decisions because you feel like it, that fucking stunt could've cost us our job!"

Yoongi had no trouble talking back, "Well, it didn't."

Jungkook went in the middle of you two, clearly anxious and panicking, not knowing how to properly resolve the argument. "Guys, please can we just–"

"No," You snapped, slapping away Jungkook's hand before glaring at him. Honestly, you were so insulted by Yoongi's recklessness, and especially because you're the manager of Bangtan, you had no idea what this meant for your career, but not only yours, Yoongi's and Jungkook's too, "You do understand that our boyfriend just outed us on live television, right? South Korean. Television. Where marital relationships like ours aren't recognised by law."

Yoongi grapped your wrist, forcing you to look at him, "How long were you expecting us to keep this a secret?"

"As long as it kept us safe," You spat.

"Even if it was taking a toll on our mental health?" Yoongi said, almost too calmly, "Not everyone can keep themselves sane enough when it comes to this shit, [Y/N]."

You frowned and just stared at Yoongi.

"Mind you, your job is to look after us as well," Yoongi added.

"That requires you to fucking talk to me, Suga," The anger became evident, especially for Jungkook, because you only call Yoongi by his stage name in a professional setting, never outside of it, "Not snake around and leave things up to you."

You ripped Yoongi's grip on your wrist, taking one last glance at Jungkook before getting your jacket from the hanger.

Clearly, staying in the apartment wouldn't do your anger any good, leaving before the water begins to tip was probably the best option. You didn't look at your boyfriends', just spoke, "I'm staying at Jin's. Don't call me."

✨

"You might as well change your Facebook status to 'complicated', and start feeding my cat, bro," Jin said from the kitchen, "You've been living on my couch for four days. Four days. I don't see why you can't just talk to them."

"I don't know..." You huffed, "Bro I deleted all my social media, and I haven't even opened the television for the last few days...I've yet to cop it from PD, though. God knows what he's thinking."

"Yeah, and no offence, you and your whole, 'Im gonna pretend I'm not bothered by acting so overly professional in the workplace with my boyfriends' isn't proof that you're unbothered. It's proof that this is effecting you," Jin walked into the living room, who beers in hand as he did. He tried handing you one, though you rejected the offer, wanting to remain sober while you're still upset.

Your bestfriend, after your boyfriends, is the eldest member of Bangtan. Partly because you two are the same age, you being just a bit older than Jin, but despite that, you two understood each other well. Also, another reason that your relationship with him is so good is because it's the best entertainment to be around Kim Seokjin, the sarcasm is inevitable.

"Look, I get what Yoongs was thinking, but I also get they you may not have been ready, but I also think you just shouldn't give a shit about what people have to say about you," Jin placed his input, sitting down on the couch near you, throwing a leg over the other, taking a swift sip of the beer. "And that's coming from singer that racists and homophobes hate, those fucks on twitter are the worst."

You laughed at his reasoning, your eyes fixed on the loose string on the knee of your jeans. They're ripped jeans, they're supposed to be there, but it bothered you. "I'm still mad that they didn't ask me about it first.."

"No, that's fair. You feel lied to, I get that," Jin responded, "But, people make mistakes."

You scoffed, "Not like this, I don't put people's lives on the line," You shook your head, running your thumb on the bottom of your lip for a second, "This is Seoul, it's super hard to get a job, it's worse if you're not straight, even worse if you're not pale."

"Yeah," Jin agreed, "But in your case. What radical fan is gonna let Jungkook and Yoongi leave– no– get kicked out of BTS? You know how fucking mad people would be? ARMY would literally boycott BigHit. But let's say it's you who needs to leave, those two would quit their jobs in a fucking heartbeat, people would still be mad at BigHit, and more accepting companies would do anything to have those two in their company."

You smirked in amusement. It sounded true, those two are the biases of a lot of fans, people would pissed.

"And to add onto that," Jin continued, "Bangtan would be mad. You think any of us would put our jobs over our bestfriends' happiness? No fucking way. We're wanted eveywhere, it would take an email and two phone calls to get us a job somewhere else."

You smiled at that, but you remained silent, it was always nice talking to Jin. He was always honest. You lifted your head up to look at your best friend, a little hesitant to give a response, "Do you... Do you think I should..."

"You still got it?"

"Both of them. Always."

"Yeah. They still love you, I wasn't gonna tell you, but I'm pretty sure Yoongi was crying about it."

You stood up from your seat immediately, throwing a pillow at Jin, "You bafoon! You didn't think to fucking tell me?!"

"Ow! I still have a beer!" Jin defended in a protective, half-ninja pose to protect himself from more pillows, stretch his hand to keep his beer alive and unspilt on his leather couch. "Just remember that they need to apologize too, it's not all your fault. Go and see your mans'."

You didn't waste another moment. You throw your jacket over your shoulder and quickly grabbed the keys to your car, slipping on your shoes and racing to get into your car.

The apartment, thankfully, wasn't far, and you know the city of Seoul like the back of your hand so getting there wasn't an issue, it was more about emotionally preparing yourself.

It wasn't as if you thought about what you were gonna say, but hearing that one of your boyfriends who are always so strong broke down crying wasn't a 'think-first-act-later' moment. Jungkook, god, and Jungkook, you'd yet to figure out how he's been handling everything, but you know for Yoongi's sake, he'd try to be staying as strong for him as possible.

You'd gotten three texts from Jungkook in the last four days. One apology, a sticker, and an 'i love you', but your stubborn trait got the best of you. Now having a silent moment, you wish you'd responded.

"Hyung..?"

You didn't know what to say, but you were standing at the door of your apartment with Jungkook in front of you.

You could tell he was hoping for this, he just didn't know when.

He threw his arms around your shoulders, catching you off guard, but as soon as you'd regained your senses, you returned the embrace just as tight as he'd given it. He had his face buried into your shoulder, one hand in your hair trying to remember the feel he thought he'd forgotten, "I thought you were leaving us..." He whispered, holding back a sob.

"Jungkook, I'm so so sorry, I overreacted. I was being a jerk and–" You spewed, but was interrupted when your boyfriend shook his head.

"No, no– I'm sorry too, I thought we were doing the right thing and–" He accidently sniffled, a tear falling down his cheek, "–Ah, fuck... Jagi, I'm just so glad you're back."

You kissed Jungkook's cheek from where he was, bringing your hand up to cradle his head lovingly.

You'd do anything for Jungkook, hes your boyfriend and you love him so much.

You continued to embrace Jungkook, before speaking in a small whisper, "... Kookie, baby... Is Yoongs okay?"

Jungkook pulled away from the embrace slightly, but your hands were still on his waist. The younger wipes the tear stain on his cheek first, "He's had better days... A lot of better days."

"How bad?"

"Remember when Namjoon-hyung and him fought that one time?"

"Oh no."

"Yeah.. But this time it's more heartbreak than anger. I think you'll be fine."

You kissed Jungkook one more time, smiling at hin before hesitantly letting go to head towards Yoongi's room.

You made it three quarters of the way there, then saw the 'go away' mat in front of his door with the cat flipping the finger. It made you chuckle, knowing that then Yoongi had bought it despite the fact that nobody is allowed to walk into the house without socks.

Yoongi does things because something tells him it's the right thing to do. He doesn't act then think, he'll probably think for years and the finally act.

"Jagi..." You knocked gently on your boyfriend's door, "Yoon. It's me... Please open–"

Your request was filled before it was finished, the door swang open to reveal a rather teary Min Yoongi, and your heart didn't handle it well. But you probably didn't notice it well enough, because he threw his arms around your neck almost immediately after. He begun sobbing into your collar with his hands gripping the back of your shirt like you'd run away if he let go. He spoke through tears, "[Y/N], I'm so sorry, I didn't think about how you'd feel and," He sobbed, "But please, p-please don't leave again. I thought–"

"Shhh, baby, breathe for me," You said softly, kissing his forehead as a way to comfort him, before pulling away to look at your boyfriend, holding both of his hands in yours, "Yoongs, it's okay, I'm sorry too, and I know this is something we can work around because I love both of you so so much."

You motioned for Jungkook to come too, watching him walk over then holding his hands too.

It took only a second to exhale, but it seemed too long, "I love you two more than anything in this world. You're more important to me than my job, than my pet–"

Jungkook gasped, "Don't say that! Fluff is a beautiful pet!"

You laughed, and Yoongi didn't stop himself from giggling, but you continued, "Regardless, you two are the best thing that's ever happened to me, that I get to see your faces in the morning is a blessing enough." Jungkook was getting teary and Yoongi was holding back tears as much as he could, but you continued, "You're my heaven on earth. I want to be able to spend the rest of my life with you too."

You for down on one knee, Jungkook's eyes going wide and Yoongi's jaw unhinged to its full capacity. You pulled out the velvet box containing two identical rings, opening it carefully to reveal them.

"Min Yoongi and Jeon Jungkook. Will you steal my last name?"

[arimendoza]

to the anon who asked this: It’s loving cedric diggory hours in my brain so I’d love to read you venting your headcanons about him?? What do you think about his childhood and family and friends and what happened to them after (because Cursed Child isn’t canon)

tumblr deleted ur ask RIGHT as i posted it and im so sorry i hope u still see this bc i love it so much thank u for giving me an excuse to write about my favorite character :(((

i have a lot of feelings about cedric diggory

------------

it’s always been one of my biggest headcanons that cedric is a slytherin secondary

we see him as being kind. he is kind. and good. and brave. but he’s also ambitious, driven, resourceful. cedric diggory is a strong leader. but his determination is a double-edged sword, and his ambition can become ruthless:

"i thought you were gonna let it get me." / "for a second there i thought the same."

so kind, yet with this underlying, almost desperate self preservation and ambition that he might not even realize isn't his 

“he could have been anything.” but what does that mean? what did he want? or was he too busy thinking of what everyone else wanted?

because this is cedric diggory as we see him: composed, polite, the ideal and ultimate gentleman. intelligent, compassionate, reliable. powerful, intuitive, handsome. perfect.

but imagine, just imagine the intense pressure, the expectations, the constant delivery he feels he owes to people who perceive him as all those things, and then some.

this is largely because of how i see him growing up

amos diggory was nothing if not proud. so he did everything to transfer all that pride onto his only son:

private tutoring, gruelling flying lessons (all theory of course, though as soon as his father deemed him old enough, tested his natural instinct on a broom), and limited free time made for a clever boy, if not a lonely one

he didn’t see anyone outside of his immediate family much. they preferred to keep to themselves.

but he definitely saw all the other kids outside his bedroom window, laughing and playing and so free. sometimes he thinks about asking his dad if he could join them

but he can see the disappointed shake of the head, hear the “you were made for better things, my boy. greater things than playing pretend.”

and his mother, for all her kindness, he could never bring himself to ask. she never expressed direct expectations the way his father did. but cedric was clever. she didn’t have to say it out loud for him to know.

so he works. and perseveres. quietly and alone, until he goes to hogwarts

growing up, he wonders if perhaps playing pretend was all he was ever good at

he pretends his father is proud of him being sorted into hufflepuff

the letter he received was not scathing, but just had enough subtle disappointment in it that it crushed him.

he didn’t tell his father he was a hatstall. that he chose hufflepuff, in the end. in a way

“you’d do well in any house, you know. be anyone.” the hat had said

i just want to be myself. 

“oh my dear boy. you don’t even know who that is yet”

he pretends he wants to be a Seeker.

also a fairly popular headcanon, but i do think cedric was aware he was not made to be one because of how he’s built, but did it because “Seekers get all the glory, son. and it’s always worth the glory, isn’t it?”

he becomes Seeker. he’s praised for his fast swerves. he tells no one how much pain it gives him to execute them. he practices day and night anyway

he becomes captain. it should make him happy, and he is. it makes his dad proud too, but his shoulders sag just a little lower as another weight is placed on them

he pretends he doesn’t care for art (“it’s silly, son. there are better things, more practical things.”)

but cedric loves poetry, the abstract. it’s why his favorite and best subject is charms

he meets a ravenclaw boy who likes to write poetry as well. they bumped into each other in the library in what was both their ‘favorite spot’

he plays quidditch too, thinks he has a shot at captain

cedric diggory and roger davies became fast friends

two sides of the same coin, really. handsome, intelligent, athletic. but a bit lonely, reserved. their silence is taken for cockiness, sometimes

the main difference? roger doesn’t much care for other people’s opinions. it’s where he and cedric clash, where most of their arguments stem from. but they do help each other grow because of it

he pretends he doesn’t need friends, but makes them anyway

his father always stressed the importance of good connections, for networking and all that. and even from a young age it was clear that cedric was charming. a natural silver-tongue. he could probably make people fall at his feet, should he have wanted.

but as much as cedric cared about his own reputation, he never much cared for status, and always saw the good in others. or tried to, at least

so he and roger became close. roger introduced him to cho chang. she was pretty, also reserved, also liked quidditch. seeker

he also grew close to hecate oakham and bhavana patel from his house. hecate was often alone, in her own head. she gave cedric fresh perspective and listened, always. he did his best to do the same.

bhavana liked spending time in the greenhouse. it’s also one of cedric’s go-to places to think, clear his head.

his father thought he could perhaps do better. cedric thinks he’s struck gold.

cedric loved his friends so much, and he thought then that this is the closest he’s ever felt to understanding, and being understood

although he could never fully drop the facade in front of them, he let them see him at his worst: his disappointment, his anger (when cedric is angry, he doesn’t show it, preferring to repress and then possibly write it out later. but when he’s angry, he’s angry, piercing. ruthless and relentless, words coming out in passionate outbursts, as if the air was crackling around him from wild magic. people would have called it uncharacteristic of him, but did they ever really know him well enough to think so?)

still, he would say these were the best friends he’s ever had. the best time he’s ever had. he was happy

and then he meets harry, properly, and he’s both elated and so, so afraid. he pretends it doesn’t matter.

(he pretends he wasn’t absolutely hit with guilt after winning that one match. first, because he felt like he didn’t deserve it. second, because people think he didn’t deserve it. that on any other day, his hard work would never amount to anything next to natural talent. third, because even after all of this, a part of him was still glad he ended up catching the snitch)

(he pretends he didn’t ask to see harry when he was at the hospital wing after that disastrous match with the dementors either)

he pretends he’s fearless. that he wants to join the tournament

he’s already a prefect. quidditch captain, on the way to head boy. why not eternal glory? it’s worth it, isn’t it? everyone thinks he could do it. everyone thinks he could win. everyone thinks he should

“you don’t have to, ced.” roger says. 

“no, i do.”

he hopes the goblet doesn’t spew out his name. it does. he smiles, goes up. takes his place.

“good luck.” roger yells at him, concern in his eyes

he pretends he doesn’t know what their exchange really means

“dragons. that’s the first task.” i’m worried about you

“why are you telling me this?” worry about yourself, too

harry moves to leave. cedric pulls him back. harry stares at his hand. is this when you ask? 

“the badges. i’ve asked them not to wear them.” are you okay? i care about you.

“don’t worry about it.” i guess not. but thank you. 

he and cho pretend they want to go to the ball together

his father, of course, is elated. pretty, smart, athletic, from a good family.

she stares wistfully at hermione granger throughout the entire champions’ dance

cedric catches harry’s eye. it was like a million snitches were whizzing around in his stomach. not like how it was with roger, at first. this was so much stronger.

he pretends he tells harry about the egg only because it’s good sportsmanship. but harry is done pretending.

when cedric goes to congratulate him for tying for first place, harry kisses him

roger smiles knowingly when he he sees cedric at the library, absolutely beaming

but there was still that part of cedric, that voice in his head that tells him he’ll ruin it, that he doesn’t deserve it. it asks him, worst of all, will you still be happy, even with your father’s disappointment? 

so when does cedric diggory not pretend?

when he writes, and shares his writing with his friends

when he laughs so hard he snorts

when he’s flying. not for quidditch, but for fun

when he kisses harry back

when he says ‘together.’

when he tells harry to stay back

(he pretends he was ready to die)

so this is cedric diggory as we deserve to have known him: flawed and good. imperfect and kind. conflicted and brave

he could have been anything, but we didn’t see him live long enough for even him to figure out what it was he really wanted to be, who he wanted to be. 

the only comfort we have is, in his final weeks, those final moments, he could tell himself he was finally, finally proud of the person he was becoming 

he hopes history will think the same

BONUS:

roger, cho, hecate, bhavana, and of course harry mourned him. quietly, but together

roger

his first real friend. his best friend. he saw cedric the most, physically and emotionally. he thought maybe one day he’d get to see all of him, his flaws and his grievances and his silliness. he’d like to think so. he will never know, now.

people thought he’d honor cedric through quidditch, or something of the sort.

he wrote instead. he wrote for himself, for cedric. eternalized through writing.

every year he’d write something for cedric’s birthday, go to his grave and read it out to him

he’s scared of the day he runs out of memories. wishes they could still make more.

but as he tells cedric of his life now, his hardships and his triumphs and how much he misses him, he thinks he’s doing his best.

in this own, sad way, cedric is still with him. this is how they will make memories.

cho

cho cries, has a hard time sleeping. dark circles, bloodshot eyes, his death affects her the most physically.  she ignores the whispers, the confused stares at her emotional turmoil. but she has always been confident with her feelings, saw no shame in expressing them.

her performance falls in quidditch.

she remembers Seeking matches with him and later with harry, the way they’d laugh and how bright cedric’s smile had been

flying hadn’t been the same since. she hopes one day it will be.

next to roger, she visits cedric the most.

hecate

no one besides their circle of friends knew it, but cedric diggory was clumsy

she remembers the way he bumped into her when he was walking through the grounds, realizing he tripped over his robe

sorry he had said. i was lost in thought 

he looked like he had a lot on his mind then, as if he expected her to laugh at him.

funny, she had replied. i’m quite the same. are you headed to the lake?

and she remembers them sitting there. in comfortable silence, in easy conversation.

now she sits alone, cries silent tears, watches them run and spill and imagines them to merge with the lake

bhavana

cedric was knowledgeable about plants, but his skill at taking care of them was...questionable

she caught him, in the greenhouse, monologuing to himself

she remembered him stopping abruptly, coughing shyly. but she only laughed, said your secret’s safe with me

so she plants in memory of him, watches them grow and bloom the way he never can, now, treats them with the utmost care she wishes others had with him

harry

harry stays angry for a long time

the nightmares come every night, except this time, he doesn’t wake up in cedric’s arms

he couldn’t bring himself to visit his grave. not yet. he doesn’t know when yet, or if he ever could.

cedric diggory is harry’s first real loss.

he could have saved him. if he had never let cedric take the cup, if he had recognized the place faster, if he just got cedric to not move forward for the sake of his protection. 

this was harry’s new everyday, the what ifs running through his mind at every waking moment. and sometimes he hears a laugh, sees the way someone’s smile is crooked, a snippet of a song and everything is familiar and foreign and he aches and aches. and his heart breaks a little more

and it wasn’t love, not yet. but harry remembers the way they looked at each other, the way they smiled and laughed and played and kissed and were

it could have been love, and harry wonders if he’ll ever feel that way again

so he forms the DA, in cedric’s memory. meets with roger and cho and hecate and bhavana. they all stare at cedric’s picture in the room. haunted

and harry strives to do better. to be better.

(“who’s cedric? your boyfriend?��� he was)

amos diggory mourned loudly. part of him resented harry, but only because the other part of him couldn’t help but think all of this was his fault, and his fault alone

if he pressured his son a little less, let him live as he wanted, and love as he wanted

if he spent more time with cedric

if he said the words “i love you” more often, told him “i am proud of you, always.”

 but he tells himself cedric must know. cedric had to have known

he doesn’t speak to cedric’s friends. tries to forget about harry potter

a hollow shell of a man, mourning for a son he never really knew.

he hopes history will treat cedric kinder than he ever did.

[insert-some-nice-emo-pun]

this is about the lynz drama

i didnt wanna write this post

when this shit first started i told myself im not gonna say anything about it cause a)i hate drama in any form and b)no one cares about my opinion

but today i got so fed up with everything ive seen on twitter that here we are

im just gonna kind of explain what happened and share my opinion i guess? and feel free to share yours in the comments as long as you respect other people

so everything pretty much started when someone asked lynz about people accusing jimmy urine of sexual assault

(first of all why would they ask lynz?like i know theyre in the same band but still shes not responsible for his actions)

her responese mightve indeed seem strange, like she was defending herself tho nobody attacked her and it overall felt kinda off

then the whole argument started (most of the tweets are deleted now so its kinda hard to find out what exactly happened)

so first thing im gonna adress is how everyone seems to be "cancelling" her for saying you shouldnt believe victims, but what i understood after reading all of her tweets was that she said always believe victims unless you know theyre a manipulative liar and i think theres actually nothing wrong with saying this? please correct me if you think im wrong but i dont really find this problematic (the tweets are at the end of the post!)

i know that the first tweet, the only one that isnt deleted seems really off and she defo couldve answer better and you can critize her for this but i think she thought the person who asked her was reffering to smth jessicka said which kind of explains everything

jessicka has been saying messed up things about lynz for years, so i think we can understand why she reacted in this way

now why dont i believe anything jessicka says?

because she always talks how she has "a proof" that lynz said/did smth but she never actually shows that proof

even now, when lynz mentioned her in one of her tweets she responded yelling about the proof but didnt actually say anything new

one thing ive learned while being in different fandoms and stuff is never believe that someone said/did something unless you have a video of them doing so or they confirmed it on their offcial account on social media

if she really had the proof, why dont just show it to people?

now the second big thing that happened was the whole family thing

people have been talking about her family situation for years (im more of a new fan so i wasnt here back then so please correct me if i make a mistake here or anywhere in the post)

what we knew before is that she cut off her mother and sister - she didnt want to talk to them nor send them money

her sister claimed it was because they arent rich or famous

now scroll all the way down again to see the tweets

her mum and sis recorded a video responding to this

now this is totally subjective opinion of mine, but i got really bad impression from watching their vid and things they said later on twitter (search for amy greene on twitter, youll find everything there)

now you can believe me or not, but i have experience with this kind of family situations

my opinion on the subject is that when it comes to family problems no ones really innocent but sometimes things get so messed up that you shouldnt really judge people based on that

we basically get two sides of the story, and i believe that both of them probably got some things right, but im gonna stay on lynzs side

i 100% understand cutting off fanily memebrs, even as close as your mother and after watching this video i felt really sorry for lynz (again its just my opinion, but the things they both said about lynz reminded me so much of the situation from my family)

ive seen a lot of people bringing up that they said nice things about gerard, so they must be telling the truth because if they wanted fame theyd go after him instead or smth like this

i disagree with this opinion because its once again a behavior i know

noone said anything about gerard before

the whole thing was only about lynz

so why would they even bring him up?

well imo if their intentions were clear they wouldnt say anything about him at all, because what for?

if they said anything bad about about him all of the fans would attack them, get mad, and maybe not believe the rest of their story, so it was in their interest not to talk shit about him

but why did they say nice things? (ITS JUST MY OPINION PLEASE IM NOT SAYING I KNOW IT) 90% of people who would watch the video are mcr fans. and what is the best way to gain someones trust? be nice to them. say nice things about their idols, interests etc, its a known trick and its really manipulative. again i dont want to accuse them but it just seemed really off to me, and it also makes lynz look even worse, like if theyre trying to say that everyone here is nice and shes the only bad person around (yet again something i know really well)

so in my opinion they only talked about g to have mcr fans take their side and if its true its really manipulative but its just my opinion and i totally understand if you dont agree with me because i have no proof for this

i think this post is coming to an end so i want to say that i believe lynz is a good person

not a saint, not perfect, but not someone we should cancel or hate on

you have a right to dislike her, i understand and respect it, same with everything i said here - i accept that you disagree, you can write me a comment about it, just please dont spread hate

i hate going on twitter and seeing all of this drama

i havent been following her for a long time, i wouldnt even call myself her fan, but ive always seen her being really nice to fans on twitter and interacting with people a lot, well ive heard people talking about her being mean to fans in the past but i couldnt really find any concrete proof (video of that happening, im sorry but i really dont believe in posts from fan accounts from years ago)but im not saying it never happened, if you have a video feel free to send it to me

i doubt anybody read all of this, but thank you anyway

also here are the screenshots i could find

feel compeltely free to share your opinion in the comments, i sure will read it but im done with this whole drama

i just needed to get this off my chest after seeing all these people going crazy on twitter, im sorry if some parts dont make sense or have any kinds of mistakes, english isnt my first language and its also really late now

[sugarandviolence]

snapped

It was lunch break when he got the notification, at first going unnoticed because he was sitting outside with Duncan and Krista in their usual spot. The sun beat down on the three of them as they ate the wraps Krista got for them from the 7-Eleven, that and the lemonade. He tuned out of the conversation at hand, some plans Kirsta was making for Bonnaroo or something, to check on his phone.

[ 1! new snapchat ]

As he unlocked  his phone, he shielded it in view from the other two. Being a snap from Gaby, he was probably wise to do that. But it was unlike their usual snaps. Sat in the backseat of a car, she was strapped in next to two other girls. The bar caption underneath it: road trip with the bestiesss.

Confusion was the first emotion, wondering if she’d sent it to him by accident. It was set as her story too, once he pulled out of their chat and noticed as much. He contemplated not answering anything at all, but that would be rude. Then again, she had been rude. Torn this way for a couple of seconds, he settled for sending a chat her way instead.

tyson hey gaby🍒 haha hiiii tyson what up gaby🍒 not much u? tyson work lol gaby🍒 oh right haha tyson yeah

It was fucking weird, this. He wanted to say as much. But what else could he really say that hadn’t already been said? There was nothing else. Months ago, she told him to meet at Carousel. It started out friendly with drinks, and then turned ugly. A perfect storm of the worst proportions, him telling her that he was basically seeing someone now and her saying that she wanted more than 3am booty calls and nothing else. She presented her case, how she thought they really could be something, if he only gave them a chance — hell, he was almost convinced for a second. But no more than that second. He stuck to it, she got upset, she stormed out. Now, he just wanted to ask her what the fuck all this was, but how to do that without coming off hostile? A task.

gaby🍒 just saying hiii is all tyson kinda weird but cool lol gaby🍒 what i can’t say i miss u? damn :( tyson kinda weird after how u left yeah but nah it’s cool ig gaby🍒 i was jk chill 😛

Tyson wondered if he read that right. Why were girls like this, he wondered. You could never get anywhere half the time with them because you never knew what the fuck they meant. Life would be so much better if they just said what they thought and meant it, but of course, that’s not how things went in life. It never went like that in life. Playing games, they all liked to play games. 

He left Gaby on read and pulled out to the main screen of his snapchat (handle: bonghitter). Unopened items there were plenty, a video, and messages from two other girls. For a brief second, he contemplated deleting the app entirely, before that notion slipped from his mind again with Duncan grabbing his attention. He put his phone away and went back to lunch.

***

Later that night, somewhere in between hallucinating an earthquake in his and Tierney’s living room (he was completely sober, so that wasn’t a factor), and picking up an unidentified number that didn’t answer down the other line, Tyson found his evening going funny. Almost like he’d stepped into an alternate dimension. He wasn’t on any of Sulley’s edibles though, so what was going on? Maybe this was that psychosis that was setting in that Jude had warned him about (though he can’t remember why Jude had told him it would, they hadn’t been sober then). If it wasn’t an earthquake that had shaken the floor just now, what could it be? Did some fatty whale of a person fall directly outside their door, making the ground shake? A possibility. Oasis’ infrastructure wasn’t the strongest.

Then he got a new snapchat notification. 

From her. Again.

He braced himself for the worst, opening it, and surely, there it was. A half-clad Gaby in mirror view, the usual ‘hey’ postscripted by that unholy black bar that was strategically covering up places that normally, he’d want uncovered. It was clearly some hotel or motel room, and he could probably guess the next that would follow, if encouraged. But all he felt was a faint wave of disappointment. Nothing else. Old Tyson would’ve sent her a ‘where’s the rest’ message, no questions asked, but not this one. He was angry and not sure how well he downplayed it, maybe not well at all.

tyson ?? gaby🍒 what? haha tyson why u actin like this gaby🍒 like what?

Tyson mumbled an expletive under his breath. He was an argumentative person, sure, he loved to debate, talk until the cows come home about the right subject. But this was his least favourite type of confrontation, and he’d rather be doing anything but this, literally anything.

tyson you were the one who said okay we’re done u stormed out the bar u did that remember? lol gaby🍒 ohhhhh that look i wasn’t in a good place then okay? i’m sorry :(

Tyson said nothing, a sigh escaping his lips. Starting to get angry now and not even sure why. He’d always had it good with this girl, but outside of whatever they did in bed (or on a couch, or in the shower), there was nothing. And he wasn’t exactly interested in anything she had to offer right now. Or anytime in the future. It was borderline ridiculous to think or believe, and Dom would probably ask him if he was okay and not sick, but there it was. He thought of the right thing to respond, but before he even could, she sent through something else. A Bitmoji. Hers hugging his. 

tyson okay apology accepted but nothing’s changed with me meant what i said then still stands now gaby🍒 you’re still seeing someone? tyson yea gaby🍒 oh okay just thought something changed my friend saw u tyson where? gaby🍒 at santa monica on the pier u were with some girl tyson jfc that’s my best friend’s babymama she came w/her kid to see him gabriela i’m tired i’m seeing someone rly can’t do this gaby🍒 okay tyson have a good night

The last reply back took the longest time coming through, but when it finally did, there was no more. Relief. Was he off the hook? Was this it? He waited for more to come, but it didn’t. Maybe he was off the hook. Maybe she’d come around again in 3 months. Or 6 months. Or a year, who knows. Maybe she’d find someone and stop snapping him. He hoped she would. As he was thinking these things, maybe five maybe ten minutes having passed, he got a new notification. 

gaby🍒 my friends say you suck btw tyson LOL okay

Now this was funny. Though still a little infuriating, he thought as his brows pulled together in both confusion and dismay. Girls, when would they learn that no meant no? He was about to all but toss his phone aside, leave it on the bed to go back into the living room, when one more came in. 

gaby🍒 sorry im a lil drunk...

Now that he would leave on read, and hopefully there would be no more, and that would be the end of that. She really wasn’t a bad person, Gabriela, deep down he liked her. As a person. But it ended there. He was about to go through with his toss-the-phone plan and shuffle into the kitchen to see if a bag of takeout had magically materialized on the counter, be done with this chapter for good, when he got a new notification. With dread he glanced to the top of the screen, but a smile picked up on the corners of his lips when he saw who it was from.

Jude: holy shit dude you need to check this out… [ http://absoluteepicpranks.com/monkey-flaming-motorcycle.htm ]

[pnwswiftie]

I felt owned by an employer once. He was sexist and baited me into working for him only to turn the tables and gaslight me. And to be honest I’ve never pin pointed the feeling that has sat in my gut about him until recently; until watching my idol go through the same thing on a large scale in front of the world, until what has happened, what has been happening to Taylor Swift in her industry.

Mine was a veterinary surgeon whom I worked with in the past. I left the veterinary field and started a new career. The Vet (we will call him) moved away and when he came back he contacted me with a new idea to start his own practice.

He painted me a beautiful picture of what this clinic would be like. He said he couldn’t do it without me and promised me the world. I still remember the phone call where he said the words- “you will be my practice manager, my right hand, you could run the show and have a handsome career, I’ll make sure you are set for life, you will have an opportunity to buy into the company as well, to profit share.

He offered to pay me whatever my current job paid me. I didn’t jump at saying yes. I worked so hard to be where I was and this was a big risk. My now husband was hesitant and didn’t trust him 🚩 but supportive of whatever I chose (love him). Well, im the only one of me so a month later I took the jump and put in my notice. I trusted him.

I was hired on with one other person. A male, roughly my same age, overall a nice dude. We will call him Sam. I was in charge of all operations of the front desk and all aspects of the business side of things. I started every excel sheet for income tracking, taxes, inventory. I created every document, I created the scheduling program, I set up every vendor accounts. I scanned every piece of paper that came into the clinic doors, I set up our benefits. I answered phones I handled every single client. I visited clinics and preached to people our vision, so they would refer to us (we were a referral based clinic) on my days off. I did it ALL. I also scrubbed into surgery with the Vet and Sam, as there were only 3 of us running the entire show. If the phone rang, I would answer on a headset under my face mask and handle a client or clinic call right there, scrubbed in. I didn’t mind, I felt proud to show off my multitasking skills. He would give a little wink and a joke and the validation felt nice, like I earned his approval 🚩 when I did something above and beyond.

About a year went by and I was rolling in hard earned money, that’s for sure. I was working 7 am to 10 pm some days so I always had overtime. Sam was responsible for 1 thing- patient care, and I was responsible for LITERALLY everything else you could possibly think of. 🚩Needless to say I was getting worked to the BONE 🚩 . I was cool with it tho, this is what I signed up for right? We were growing and successful and getting BUSY!

One day I accidentally found out the pay gap 🚩between myself and Sam. I had been completely naive to the fact that we were not equals, nor was I getting paid “management” but that he made SUBSTANTIALLY more than me. I gave it some energy for a couple days and vented to my husband, then I let it go. Sam was nice, it’s not his fault. 🚩Maybe he’s just worth more than I am to the company, I told myself. 🚩Maybe he has a past history I didn’t know about that made him more valuable. It definitely should have been my red flag 🚩

My relationship with the Vet was kind of like a daughter and father but 🚩 only on his terms. Fun and playful and lots of “your our boss lady!”. It would also take very odd turns, 🚩 having to do small tasks outside my morals. In the office he would call me “the office manager, the boss, it’s all up to you, hospital administrator!” yet on the phone would call me 🚩 “the front desk person” 🚩“my receptionist” to other veterinarians. It bothered me, a lot, but I pushed it away. 🚩Who am I to be that nit picky over a title? 🚩He probably didn’t mean it or misspoke, I thought.

The tricky part is that I only have little under the radar examples of his abuse. 🚩 The ones you can’t QUITE put your finger on, that you can’t QUITE justify quitting on the spot but make you feel 🚩 worthless. They continued every day. He was incredibly sweet and funny, and then 🚩condescending and cruel. It was a roller coaster to try to please him constantly. It wore on me. I came to work and to deal with it I would make lists on scratch paper. Lists of why I was starting to hate my job. Lists that I would read in the car and cry. If I wasn’t cheerful he’d come in with 🚩“PMSING TODAY?” .... I’d laugh n bite my tongue. 🚩 That’s just being friendly playful right, he knows me well enough to say that to me, we’re like family, right? But every day I felt awful. And I needed my job now, more than ever. 🚩 He knew I needed this job, too. We had just put an offer on a house and surprise! we’re now expecting a baby.

Being pregnant changed things. I couldn’t assist in surgery and xrays like I used to. 🚩He would scoff when I would have to leave for prenatal appointments. 🚩 He would be caring and kind one minute, giving me hand me down baby clothes and gifts, and then cold and dry the next. 🚩Sam could and often would sleep in and no call/no show. He would roll in at noon and jump into surgery, acting like nothing happened, they’d joke together about women in front of me and being hung over. I was 5 min late once because of a traffic jam and had to have a “sit down meeting” about attendance. 🚩 I felt so ASHAMED and EMBARRASSED. 🚩 I had never once, NOT EVER, had work problems, attendance problems, behavioral problems, in my entire history of working. This job was my LIFE. 🚩 Was something seriously wrong with me???

The last straw came when I was 6 months pregnant. He claimed that everyone was having a private “check in meeting”. He told me at mine that 🚩him and Sam talked 🚩 and agreed that I’m not the happy bubbly girl I used to be. I sat with him in the shade of a big oak tree in the grass that has since fallen in a wind storm (ironically. He said I would be getting a $1 raise and that he wanted me to take on MORE responsibility since I could no longer assist in surgery and listed basically anything he could possibly think of to tack on to my job to make up for that $1. 🚩 all I could think was... how???? I was already drowning. I finally got courage this time and said NO. My lip quivered and tears ran down my face with 🚩 stress. I brought up valid arguments but looking back I wish my voice wasnt so timid. Or that I had the courage to call out just one, ONE instance of his inappropriate behavior. But lastly, 🚩 I asked why is my title “FRONT DESK PERSON” when Sam is now “Lead Surgery Operations Director (Who Does No Wrong)??

His response sticks with me to this day. It was painful and degrading and I will never forget it. After working my ass off and building this place from the bottom, the long nights and everything I gave them... I also will never forget his 🚩 smirk . “Well you see, giving you a title like that would be like rewarding a BAD DOG with a BONE” 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

🚩I was devastated. 🚩And confused. 🚩I’m a BAD DOG???

I stuck it out for the remainder of my pregnancy, working the 12 hour days up until I went into labor at work. I trained a new girl on every process, excel spread, schedule I had developed and created. I put on a fake smile and wrote my scratch lists and re-read my lists on the way home and cried. I couldn’t just quit. I couldn’t let my family down.

We had our baby and stared at his tiny toes and fingers and cried every single day that I may have to go back to my hell job. I interviewed for different clinics while on leave. I was desperate. The vet was on a sweet streak- 🚩 sending us gifts, having his wife cook us meals and checking in on us all the time. He frequently asked what date I was coming back. He informed me that when I came back I would need to take the later shift and give the new girl my current shift. 🚩She needed it, he said. He said we could discuss the title of “lead receptionist” now and could 🚩 continue to work towards my goal of hospital manager. 🚩 I accepted but I felt sick. 🚩 I felt like I had to go back to work for someone who I couldn’t trust. I felt like he owned me in the worst possible way. (At one time he even tried to tell me I had half of the PTO that I actually had saved up for maternity leave, another 🚩🚩🚩 but I saved my paystubs as PROOF)

Today I work for the clinic that we shared the building with. When they heard I left they immediately offered me a position. The Vet left to purchase his own facility. He acted shocked and surprised and in disbelief that I wasn’t returning. At first it was tough, not gonna lie. We literally ate noodles for a year because I went down to part time. But the bravest thing I ever did was RUN ♥️ I now LOVE my job and they treat their employees wonderfully and equally and have real life morals.

I actually didn’t intend for this to be a novel LOL but even if not a single soul reads this, it’s therapeutic for me to actually get my thoughts down after almost 6 years now. My advice is to ALWAYS trust your gut. TRUST THE 🚩 RED 🚩 FLAGS. Don’t let anyone make you question your character. Never EVER ACCEPT being controlled and manipulated against your morals. Choose the future over time spent in the past (thanks T @taylorswift) and work somewhere that respects you. That pays you FAIRLY. Don’t be afraid to TELL your story too because this has to STOP (I’ve almost deleted this whole thing 13x) If it happened to me I can’t imagine how many other women it happens to. Anyway if you read this then holy shit here’s a hug and CHIN UP YOU ARE WORTHY, YOU ARE NOT A BAD DOG. ♥️

[taexual]

HOLIC - 2 | jb x reader

Strangers, united by their big dreams, try to learn to live together and lift each other up to reach their goals without losing themselves or their relationship on the way to the top.

pairing: Im Jaebum x Reader

genre: enemies to lovers au | roommate au

warnings: strong language, mentions of sexual themes

words: 2.9k

disclaimer: i do not own the gif, please let me know if it belongs to you, so i can give proper credit

          prev / next

You and Jaebum watched each other for a good minute, both unable to find the words to say in this situation. The classic “so, we meet again” crossed your mind but it sounded oddly childish so you chose not to voice this thought and stayed quiet while Jaebum’s unreadable eyes burned into yours.

“I don’t understand,” he was the one who started to speak. You felt like you’ve won the game of who could stay quiet longer, even if neither of you had officially agreed to play it. “You’re… you.”

He wasn’t very specific with his description but you understood exactly what he meant.

“Yeah,” you said, crossing your arms over your chest defensively. “And you’re… a-a guy.”

“Obviously,” Jaebum retorted. “But how you are a girl is beyond me. We’ve been talking for, what, two months now? And you never once mentioned you were a girl.”

“You never mentioned you’re a guy, either.”

“That’s because I thought you were, too!”

“Well, I thought you were a girl,” you said. “You had a cat as your profile picture, what kind of guys use cats for their—”

“What, so now only girls are allowed to use cats as their profile picture?” he countered before you finished. “How is the usage of cats for profile pictures even restricted to a specific gender?”

He did have a very good point that completely shattered all arguments you might have had and that frustrated you. What pissed you off even more was the small part of your mind – the same part which hated all men today, even if you knew it was stupid and, probably, temporary – kept whispering to you, he’s a guy! It’s his fault! All of this!

“So am I to blame for this?” you decided to say. “If I remember correctly, you never clarified what your gender was, either. Def sounds exactly like something a girl who’s trying to go for a mysterious look would use as her username.”

“How is Def mysterious?”

You looked away from him. “I thought those were your initials.”

“Oh, so did my initials sound feminine to you?” Jaebum’s voice had risen. “Is that why you assumed I was a girl so easily?”

Not liking the way he continued to act as if all of this was your fault, you groaned. “Well, did I sound masculine to you? What was it that made you think I’m not a girl? My excessive usage of emojis when we first met? My undoubtedly very masculine profile description which has an all-girls school listed as my education?”

“I…” Jaebum was quick to open his mouth and just as quick to close it again. But then he scoffed, his cocky attitude returning. “Did you really think I checked what school you went to? How was I supposed to know it’s an all-girls one?”

“So, you did exactly zero research about the person you were moving in with?”

“Of course! I’m not a stalker.”

“Yeah, you’re a dude alright,” you snarled.

Jaebum frowned, finally giving you an emotion that wasn’t as self-assured as the ones he’s shown you before. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” you responded and the two of you went back to the angry, confused silence you’ve shared before.

This time, neither one of you broke it for another few minutes. Then, you both got tired of standing there, staring at each other as if the two of you were having a face-off in a western movie. Next line would have surely been, “this apartment ain’t big enough for the both of us.”

But no next line came because Jaebum huffed – breaking the silence for a brief moment – and turned around to face the door of the apartment. He was here for less than ten minutes and now he was off again.

“What are we going to do?” you ended up calling after him, knowing that you were absolutely not going to sit still and think about this while he was out, cruising for a new one-night-stand, most likely.

“What is there to do?” he replied, not turning back. “This whole thing is too weird. We’re not doing this.”

“Alright,” you played along even though the easy way he said it offended you. You two may have only known each other in real life for one day – or one night – but he could’ve still shown a little bit of regret, given the fact that you’d spent two whole months getting to know each other before you found this large gap in your knowledge that seemed to change everything. “Which one of us is moving out, then?”

“I meant, we’re not talking about this like—” Jaebum started to explain and, for the lack of a better comparison, ended up saying, “—like we’re a couple on the verge of a break-up, alright? We’ll just deal with this later. I don’t know.”

You didn’t like later. Later meant you had to spend the whole night tossing and turning in bed as your mind was busy trying to come up with a solution to a problem that clearly didn’t seem all that important to your roommate.

“Deal how?” you pushed, fighting for a peaceful night of slumber. “In my opinion, there are only two ways to solve this. Either you move out or I do.”

“Why would I move out?” he questioned. “I found the apartment.”

“I-I—“ you began but the sudden surge of anger at his particularly egotistic response overwhelmed your mind so much that for a moment, you weren’t able to formulate a single coherent thought. “Wow, okay. So, you want me out of here, then?”

“You said there are only two ways to solve this,” Jaebum replied, shrugging his shoulders.

He wasn’t looking at you so you couldn’t tell if his face looked as remorseless as his words were but you had a feeling it did. What exactly had attracted you to him that night at the bar? He was starting to seem more repulsive by the second.

“Right,” you said. “And, naturally, you’re going with the solution that benefits you the most.”

“Wouldn’t everyone?”

“I don’t know,” you shot back. “Normal people would try to find a compromise.”

Jaebum rolled his eyes at this, rolling his head back as well, before looking at you with pursed lips that strengthened the annoyed look he was going for.

“You’re doing this again,” he informed you, his voice irritated.

“Doing what? Trying to decide what’s going to happen on my own because you’re being no help?” you tried.

You could tell you were pissing him off more by purposefully pretending to misunderstand everything he was telling you and countering everything he said with something that actually made sense, but you couldn’t stop now. Perhaps the rational thing to do would have been to try to calm down and then talk about this like adults – which, clearly, neither of you were – but Jaebum was getting on your very last nerve and you’d have rather died than not done the same thing to him in retaliation.

“I’m going to go,” he said and you knew this statement was a final decision. You weren’t sure what he was going to do if you disagreed with this and yet, for some reason, you didn’t want to find out. “You can do whatever you want here.”

Whatever you wanted was exactly what you did as soon as he left. You went back to your room – although it wasn’t really your room since, apparently, you’d be moving out of here soon – and returned everything you’ve unpacked into the boxes again. You only left the sheets on the mattress because, whether Jaebum liked it or not, you were spending this night here. It was almost eight-thirty already, there was no way you were getting another van to transfer your stuff someplace else.

Sitting down on the mattress, you almost laughed at the thought of having to call the same driver who had explicitly warned you to make sure he won’t have to take your belongings out of here after you met your roommate. God, you really should have seen this coming. Everyone else did and they warned you about it, too.

You hated yourself for jumping head-first into this adventure-gone-wrong and you needed to talk to someone about it. Getting your phone out, you texted your friends’ groupchat. You tried to reply to some of their messages but they quickly noticed that you seemed distracted and asked what was wrong. Right as you finished typing the message about what went down when you moved in, you hesitated, your finger hovering above the “send” button.

They warned you it could come to this since you didn’t know enough important information about your roommate and here you were, about to prove them that they were right. That you were wrong. The patronizing “I-told-you-so” wasn’t going to make you feel better about yourself and your very poor decision-making skills.

Deleting the text message, you chose to give them the abridged version of what happened.

“My roommate is out,” you said under your breath, typing the words as you spoke them. “I haven’t gotten a chance—no, wait, but I did get a chance. He was back here and he was a complete dick about everything.”

You groaned, deleting the message again. There really wasn’t much you could have told your friends without revealing the entire truth and without having to lie.

Finally, you ended up just letting them know that you were tired, so you’d be going to sleep. They didn’t pry – they could tell you didn’t want to talk about it right now – and instead changed the topic. You were surprised that reading their text messages about the most mundane things actually calmed you down. There was Kiera still freaking out about her crush from work. There was Hyojin who had just broken her oven after she didn’t read the instructions on the microwave pizza box very carefully. And there was May who was sick and tired of studying – it was her last year of college, that poor girl – so she was just looking for someone to drink with.

They didn’t have to worry about suddenly moving in with their one-night-stand – and thank God for that – and they surely didn’t have to worry about finding a proper excuse to explain the reasons why they had to move out twelve hours after moving in.

Another thirty minutes later, you sighed, pulling away from the calming groupchat and putting your phone down. You had secretly hoped Jaebum would return before you fell asleep so maybe the two of you could finally talk about this and find a sensible solution – you didn’t want to live with him, either, but moving was a difficult process and you’ve already unpacked almost everything – but, clearly, Jaebum wasn’t going to be back unless you were sleeping.

No surprise there. He’s already bailed on you while you were sleeping once.

You thought you heard the first bump in your dream so you didn’t react in any way. The second bump, however, happened much closer and you flinched, startling yourself awake as you realized you weren’t dreaming at all. Someone really was approaching your room.

You debated screaming but as soon as you opened your eyes, you were really more terrified of the unknown surroundings – because you weren’t in your bedroom –  than the mysterious noises. This wasn’t the room you were used to and you spent at least twenty seconds trying to understand how you got here before your sleepy mind finally allowed you to remember that you’d moved out.

Grabbing your phone to call 911 because the steps outside of your door were getting louder, you also glanced at the time. 3:58am. The perfect time to get killed while half asleep.

You clutched the blanket tighter to yourself, not really planning to use it as a weapon in case this was an actual intruder, but rather hoping to use it for safety purposes and, for example, throw it on the attacker while you fled. It seemed like an innovative and, hopefully, successful idea and you felt a little more confident as you awaited the door of your bedroom to open.

The thought that this could have just been Jaebum finally returning home didn’t even cross your mind, so when you saw his face behind your open door, you gasped as if you’d seen a complete stranger, just wandering in your apartment at the witching hour. To some extent, he really was just a stranger. But you were living with him. For tonight, at least.

Just like that, the memory of the argument you’ve had before he left returned.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” you yelled, your voice groggy from sleep and irritation. “Do you know what time it is?”

“No,” Jaebum replied, talking quietly because he didn’t think it was right to speak louder in your pitch-black room. He could only see a meter in front of him because that’s how much the light from the hallway illuminated, so he took a small step forwards. “What time is it?”

“Definitely not early enough for you to be in my room,” you shot back, watching him take another tentative step towards your mattress. His legs seemed to wobble a little as he walked and you squinted at his silhouette. “Fuck, are you drunk?”

“I’m not, shit, there are just so many boxes in your room and it’s dark, and—”

“Why are you in my room?” you cut him off, hoping he’d stop walking before he tripped over a box and then proceeded to sue you because of it. He seemed exactly the type of person to do this. But, then again, you could have attributed all the worst traits to Jaebum simply because he woke you up after leaving you hanging in the middle of an argument.

“I wanted to apologize,” Jaebum said and silence was the response to his statement because an apology was not what you had expected from him. Realizing this, he continued, “I was rude. I didn’t mean to act like I’m kicking you out of this apartment. It’s not fair for me to do that.”

It only took him seven hours to realize this. You couldn’t help but still feel vexed with him.

“Well, then,” you said. “I’m glad you finally see it.”

Jaebum remained unphased by your harsh tone, though. “I just wanted to say that we signed the lease on the apartment on the same day, so it’s equally yours as it is mine. It really wouldn’t be fair for either of us to move out.”

You had a hunch where he was going with this and yet your heart still started to beat faster in anticipation of his next words.

“Maybe we should both stay,” he said, having a hard time speaking because he still hadn’t adjusted to the darkness of your room so he couldn’t see your eyes. “We both have jobs, I’m sure we won’t see each other that often anyway. Maybe it’ll work.”

You had been angry at him for attempting to kick you out but you weren’t sure if you wanted him to take his words back and offer to try living together instead. Naturally, this should have been the solution you’ve been looking for since you were so opposed to moving out, but it still felt weird.

Jaebum was the person you had slept with. He had left before you woke up so he wouldn’t have to participate in any type of pillow talk the next morning. He had thanked you for a “good night” in a note, which, you were obviously still bitter about.

But… at the same time, he was also the person that you’ve gotten to know from an ad. He was the same person who understood your complaints about commercial holidays, such as Valentine’s Day, because both of you had spent the majority of these holidays single and frustrated. He was also the same person who had stayed awake with you a couple of nights in a row, because the two of you were so deeply involved in a discussion about your favorite artists that you simply couldn’t go to sleep.

You could see very clearly now that Jaebum had multiple sides to him. There was the side he’d shown you as a temporary lover – you cringed at the word – and then there was the side he’d shown you as a friend and a potential roommate.

You couldn’t control your curiosity as you wondered how many more sides of him were there and how many of them were fake. You weren’t sure if he’d ever satisfy your curiosity by actually revealing himself to you but, at the end of the day, you didn’t care about that as much as you cared about having an actual roof to sleep under.

“Yeah, alright,” you decided, hoping that the late hour didn’t influence your decision and, contrary to the morning after you had slept with him, you weren’t going to regret this tomorrow. “Let’s see what happens.”

               chapter directory

[sentiniel-butitgetsworse]

rwde

highly unpolished, awful explanation, but scene-by-scene commentary of unbridled annoyance and rage. read at your own peril.

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

so the episode opens with a fight scene. sweet! cool! but its so badly staged, sometimes you have no idea what is happening the first time round. it’s crowded and messy, not a very good look? im talking about grim being hid behind ice while the camera is panning and hitting some trees when we’re literally panning out to show someone else in focus DESPITE THE FACT THEIR MITIGATION SHOULD BE FRONT AND CENTER TO LET US KNOW IT HAPPENED CLEARLY. legit! there’s the one where nora shoots at a grim and the shell explodes into black dust and the grim is gone. did it die? grim dont usually die by fuckin smoke but this one sure fuckin did i guess ‘cause i literally dont know what happened to it? no recoil and fall, just deleted and hid behind some 2d-lookin smoke! sure! why not?!?!!!?

s/o to the white/rose speedy thing that had no reason to be there and yet they did it

---

then there was the “adam ruins everything” segment where he literally just murders? everyone? like i get that its off screen for the younger audiences but also like he fucking murders everyone. literally! did i miss something? is it a good tactic now? did they think it was very villainous of him to murder people??????? god bring me back to the beginning when he actually has a good character reason for why faunus would follow him into revolution because this adam taurus is so bad he’s worth flushing down the drain for.

“tHe BeLlAdOnnA nAme HaS bRoUgHt Me NoThINg BUt gRiEf”

also that opening shot where adam is proud. jfc what? is he even part of salem’s crew anymore? was the Adam short supposed to tell us he isnt? is anyone reviewing this and thinking 100% it’s a good idea?????

wait why is this scene even second? that’s a really awkward position to put it in the whole episode? honestly? like it kinda underlines how awkward a villain adam really is; it has no build up, no reason to be there. sure, the audience is hungry to know what happened to adam, but there’s legitimately no reason to put it as the second scene in the episode, there’s no context??????

callout post for this scene because its literally just voicelines while panning slowly through the bottom floor of the room. and the blood only shows up later??? also is the white fang only comprised of like 7 people now??? isnt it a globally feared organization (ie. isis)????

---

there are two bodyguards for the train. two? two. and for some reason they’re asking for dlc to provide more/personal protection? hello, did i miss something? anyone thought it was a good idea? what class of transportation did they get? if it was dangerous enough that on a train ride they’d need people to guard the journey it wouldn’t even be built there? or what, did they get a max-luxury, train ride with insurance kinda deal? and it had two (2) bodyguards? two (2)!!!!! or was it in the middle of the road??? i may have enough context for the environment but none on economy of this place i swear

“hey ladies we’ll protect you wink” jaune and lie ren literally sitting one (1) feet away not saying anything, could be everyone’s moment to justify “hey we’re literally huntsman despite being kids, we know what we’re doing” but qrow has to step in and apparently his  credentials would ward off some bodyguards???? like “hi yes sorry im the dad of literally 8 kids, i can protect them all” not a convincing argument here bud

illia deserves more time on screen and also closure because neptune fuckin hit on her and that’s obviously enough to change scenes right

also neptune being “you really gonna let her go? l:/” feels like he’s salty instead of wukong tbh; wukong feels/sounds like the literal i can do anything kinda guy -- which he is in mythology and probably in universe (except for intelligence i guess, despite the fact he literally outsmarts his opponents through a lot of his mythos) so i dont mind him being let off the hook, but any hesitation implied during this scene? weak

illia building up to kiss but hugging blake instead, but blake kissing wk on the cheek straight up on camera yo really

---

blake emos in the corner and because its queued up right after the wk/neptune scene its not a far fetch to say she’s emo-ing about wk but turns out its yang? would’ve preferred the setup to be stronger (blake watches yang get on the bed and feels sad/regret, zoom in on yang’s arm to show the audience but not tell them)

i give props to blake being shown “wait leme get that for you” real out the way though, because it underlines properly that blake feels ridiculously bad and wants to do something to make up for yang. good characterization/storytelling!

then they break it w/ like a 30s scene of yang and blake making up almost immediately with a “oh everyone will feel better about it soon :)” BRUH SHE GUILTY BOUT YOUR FUCKIN ARM BITCH CUT BACK TO REALITY DAMN the running away part is sincerely legitimate but also??? blake should be a/ more anxious than that and b/ be more worried about???? yang’s arm??????? for real m8

---

“dont let anyone else die” a/ assumes the bodyguard trying to defend the train literally died and b/ also really fell flat? as a line? get something better...????

genuine dislike for the tactic of qrow fights the Big Boss and everyone gets a handful of weaklings; to stall? possible. but also just feels like a bad tactic overall? also their animations always look like they’re doing an rpg battle; one ability used + animation! then return to original position. that’s a big fallacy of fighting monty oum style and i genuinely hope they recognize it soon

“YOU’RE ATTRACTING THE GRIM TO THE PASSENGERS” ??? i get the part where leading them to the back of the train may help (having them all divided in sections [grim + hunters, passengers, front of train respectively] may help but how does automation attract grim again? like, turrets shooting at them would do so if they’re in range, and they all came from the back so they’d move along towards the middle, but also they wouldn’t continue moving forward? i guess? what im saying is they should really just be around jnxr + oscar instead of way forward in front

when the bodyguard tried to get into the train and barely made it, that SNAP sound was just. raw. i felt that. good! i was very scared/horrified/eager to see if they’d literally break off his arm and he’d just be lying there in a pool of blood or something in shock. he didnt because of aura and i don’t know what to say because a/ it definitely wouldn’t be a bruise and b/ if he had aura and was in the bodyguarding business, wouldn’t he also have a proper semblance to fight off grim most likely? and he aint using it so why he so confident for dlc earlier the heck

bumblebee looks back to the carriage and one lady’s just with her baby like a cheap heartstrings tug

“WHY WON’T YOU TELL US THAT” yang’s line here assumes that they’ve asked about it before and ozpin/oscar refused to answer. i disagree? i think it works better with “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL US THAT?” because it definitely was a factor they’d all have to take into account with regards to travelling w/ it in the first place. which they are. tbh yang (and jaune in the op) has every right to be mad at him real talk but also change that line please it bothered me so much

---

blake sees the hooded adam figure and honestly idk what kind of omen that is but it feels/looks weird. another no context scene i guess. tbh id take that one out of this episode entirely and shuffle it next episode probably. (and put the adam ruins everything scene at the back of the episode)

grim stop chasing because tunnel. and then they chase the train through the tunnel really slowly? feels weird but okay i fuckin guess; these are just the things im willing to pass on

ren and jaune look at each other like “lets do it” but why does ren? look up? like there’s no extra effects there, its not visible that he’s trying really hard to extend his semblance out. no cool semblance-using eye powers there. it feels kinda cheap for him to do that w/o any additional highlights that he’s activating his aura? also creepy

OH THERE’S THAT SCENE. yang starts off the Big Fight Montage with grabbing the grimm by its horns and then flips it around. cool move! then she promptly punches it up and closes her eyes. what? tbh that was ridiculously weak after a stupid good setup. budget aside i’d say there was an opportunity for a focused choreograph there; instead of a punch up, use a bullet fire up, keeping the enemy’s front half up in the air for a longer period of time. run under, punch/kick the underbelly, bounce off to the side, bullet fire off the side of the train. 

blake cutting off the tail was a good move. rt studios deciding to change shots when the enemy has the same pose, so that we cut to ruby fighting the same kind of grimm is not. it breaks clarity for the viewers, that’s not how matching cuts should work tbh

these big grimm dying in a couple of hits are also just? kinda weak-feeling. like these characters got stronger from rpg levels, but not from actual combat training and learning to outsmart your enemies, or upgrading your weapons. feels cheap.

ruby bouncing around in attempt to kill these grim is kinda cute? which may be what they were trying to do? but also not well choreographed i guess. it doesn’t flow too well, just bounces in seperate spikes.

when weiss redirects the flying grimm to ruby, it feels like its? not clear what she did. was it a semblance/shield? colour that blue, we know she uses white but white on white doesn’t work out well. ruby’s scythe sinking into the grimm also doesn’t work great because you get confusion when the shot is supposed to show it sink into the grimm, but you cant see the scythe blade sink into it. like you could only get it from context after watching it that she sent the grimm flying by doing the above, but dont recognize the action in the moment.

callout post to yang and blake fuckin shooting at nothing when there’s a clear path/shot to ruby and qrow’s big monster.

fireball just kinda looked cheap. there wasn’t a long breathy build up, and the fireball just feels way too fast (camera or distance?); reasonable that qrow would be hit by it, but cheap-feeling in the sense that it shouldn’t have happened/it felt unfair, that it happened. he should’ve gotten knocked on his ass by power/strength and being caught off guard, and it felt like more like “oh no he got knocked down! D:”

HHHHHH WEISS ICE SKATES TO THE GRIM BUT ITS NOT LIKE YOU PAY ATTENTION BECAUSE SOMETHING ELSE CALLS FOR IT AND THEN SHE LEAPS UP TO THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE GRIM. SHE’S WHITE, THE BACKGROUND IS WHITE, YOU LOSE SIGHT OF HER, I LEGIT THOUGHT SHE VANISHED BEHIND THE GRIMM BUT IT WOULDNT MAKE SENSE FOR THAT TO HAPPEN. IN THE NEXT SHOT YOU MAY SEE HER AT THE LEFT BUT HER SEMBLANCE IS BLACK TO MAKE HER STAND OUT MORE BUT THEY DIDNT DO THAT FOR THE PREVIOUS SHOT WHY????????

“YANG!” yang promptly bounces off a grimm that isnt shown to have hurt or is dead from the fight and runs off to the bigger grimm as called. understandable, but the other grimm? is just? there? not dead? not doing anything???

also the we need to ground it idea feels really cheap? the grimm isn’t a problem because of its wings, it’s a problem because it’s being dealt with by one (1) person who decides it’s best fighting it on one (1) front vs two on a train. there’s so many ways to tackle this guy! we know qrow’s capable of jumping onto it, but all he’s doing is that, instead of moving to the other side and maybe catching it off guard?????? qrow, fight fucking better.

s/o to qrow/ruby pulling off a move together, cute but also they should’ve been slicing it at different points of the grimm, because they would’ve just died right away if they both went on the same plane? or anywhere near each other? weapons are fucking dangerous we remember right?

GRIMM LAUNCHES A FIREBALL AND IT GOES ON AN UPWARDS TRAJECTORY. IT DOESNT AND INSTEAD GOES IN AN ARC WHEN IT NEVER NEEDED TO. HERE’S HOW YOU COULD DERAIL THE TRAIN. FIREBALL, MOUNTAIN, AVALANCHE/ROCKSLIDE, TRAIN DESTRUCTION. OLD GRANDMA THAT STUMBLES OUT OF THAT/APPEARS BEHIND THE TEAM AFTERWARDS IS MORE IMPRESSIVE FOR HAVING ADAPTED TO THAT FROM INSIDE THE TRAIN THAN TO JUST SIT THERE AND POP OUT LATER LIKE xD lmao wassup yall?

---

yeah thats it and here’d be the adam ruins everything scene right before the opening but we cant get what we want so w/e

[happily-lost-in-words]

Lip reading

(Oof im sorry this is probably horrible- I really didn’t do such a good prompt any justice-will probably delete later-)

...

It had been a few weeks since Logan and Roman met, however they hadn’t got the chance to hang out in quite some time, not since meeting at the coffee shop.

Logan didn’t mean to focus on the fact Roman was staring at his mouth- more particularly his lips- when they talked, he hadn’t meant to focus on the way Romans features carried either. How his brows furrowed slightly when Logan misused a word, infinitesimal, and then the small curve of his mouth when he finally pieced together what Logan meant to say.

Now, sitting at home in the group, while Virgil talks to Patton lazily on his phone cuddled up in his hoodie, and Patton asks Roman what kind of snacks he wants, Roman pauses before answering- asking him to repeat before laughing, its a bit loud, but no one seems to mind. Logan decided to take his place next to Romans side, and he decides to ask him about the focus on the lips.

He didn’t understand it- Logan had loved to understand things, ever since he was a kid, there was nothing he didn’t know about- Sure, it tended to “disconnect” him from some emotions, but he reasoned it all out. Sadness won’t fix death, being upset over losing feelings for a partner wouldn’t do anything, so he simply told them up front when he just stopped feeling.

He tries to seem nonchalant at first, “so, Roman, I’ve been meaning to ask you about your focus on lips when people talk. There’s nothing wrong with it, I’m just curious- of course you don’t have to answer. Maybe it’s a mindless quirk-“

He’s stopped when romans eyes flicker over to him, turning his head. Romans in a white hoodie, which hangs off his hands. It’s probably for comfort, Logan deduces, as roman smiles sheepishly.

“Sorry- were you talking?” Roman smiles awkwardly, now feeling horrible that Logan had been speaking to him without him even noticing. He turns his body so he’s right in front of Logan, and Logan pushes his glasses up, sparing a glance at Virgil- who has what seems to be somewhat of a knowing look when seeing the situation. Virgil and Patton, of course, had known Roman for a few months- they met at a “Next to Normal” performance, and Virgil was the first to notice the older friends insecurity about his hearing problem, so of course he never mentioned it again.

Logan frowns, furrowing his brows softly as he sees Romans confliction.

“I- I was. I meant to ask- never mind. It’s really not important.” He musters a smile as Patton brings back movie snacks, nudging Romans shoulder softly with a kind smile. Roman smiles back, getting up to head to the restroom, and Patton set up the movie, waiting patiently. Logan frowns, looking back where Roman had went-

Surely, it wouldn’t hurt, he obviously had no intent on actually using the restroom.

He walks back to see Roman adjusting something on his ears- Logan, not wanting to be caught, decides to go back. Roman returns and- once again, Logan tries to strike up conversation. However, when he does, the tv blares with music- and the speaker by Romans head goes off- Romans face twists in pain, as he tries to focus on Logan’s lips.

Logans eyes flicker, confused, and anxiously over to Roman, who was frowning, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration, as he tries to ignore the searing pain in his ears from the noise that’s just ear-raped his hearing aids.

Logan frowns in a moment of understanding:

Roman can’t hear- and he has hearing aids- he must be in tremendous pain after that speaker blared into his hearing aids.

He gets up and takes romans hand, gently pulling him up and taking him back into the apartments kitchen. Roman bites his lip with misty eyes, glancing around the room. Logan- unsure of what to do- Hugs him. He gently rubs his back, and turns the hearing aids down. No wonder Roman had been so uncomfortable and awkward in conversations with Logan- the other friends seemed to know, so of course he was more comfortable in his skin talking to them.

In front of Logan, however, he was afraid of messing up. Afraid of becoming- something of less value. Less of- the prince, to Logan. They had gotten in small arguments- nothing serious of course- but enough to cause Roman to be uneasy when focusing on Logan. Logan has a tendency to ramble, his lips moved in soft curves and sometimes his words ran together,

Roman held his breath- and a part of Logan wishes that it wasn’t just a curious and necessary reason for looking at his lips, sometimes, he would never admit this-

He wishes Roman would want to kiss him, or look at his lips with a whimsical want.

“You have no reason to be- ashamed- or- insecure, is the better word, Roman. This is nothing wrong- it is simply a part of you.” He pauses, gently tapping the counter, thinking, “I know I can’t undo the insecurity, however, you are still the endearing moron I find myself partially wanting. I suppose.” He huffs the last word, and Roman laughs- loud. It’s like him- magnetic and bold and pure- and Logan looks at Romans lips. If Roman wasn’t going to study his for pure curiosity of how soft they were, surely it was okay if he did?

Roman was surprised, interrupted from his spiraling thoughts of why the hell logan would be so- so soft about this-

By the feeling of soft lips touching his own, as Logan leaned in to the embrace to kiss him. Stealing it,

And Roman might be able to read lips (while not being perfect at it, he managed-) but he didn’t need to read Logan’s to understand how much Logan had wanted this moment.

—-

(One: I’m sorry if this isn’t accurate- a lot of deafness and lip-reading I’ve experienced is with my best friend who was very very sensitive to loud sounds when she had her hearing aids in, she had to leave a concert because a speaker went off behind her head and she was in too much pain- so oof im trying my best to make this somewhat realistic- I’m sorry- , I don’t write TS stuff a lot and this is probably really shitty- two: this is based off of @romaning-daydreams AU thing-)

[thebigreylotheory]

My TLJ Review Part 2 or Lukey Thoughts

Alright, now that I’m over my Ahch-To Luke-like hiatus, it’s time to talk about Ahch-To Luke.

He’s exactly how I imagined he’d be:

A grumpy Pooh-bear.

Seemingly, unlike a lot of fans, I wasn’t disappointed by Luke’s role, portrayal, or amount of action.

‘Cause I had emotionally prepared myself for Luke to pretty much do nothing in The Last Jedi…(therefore him doing ANYTHING was exciting for me).

Why, you ask?

There are many parts to that answer. And I’ll try to organize this as nicely as possible, I did buy a new filing cabinet and all. My Rey and Kylo Pop Figures live there quite nicely.

A)I knew the time for the story to be solely about/focus on Luke Skywalker had passed. I’ll be honest, way back in the day (now), as a kid, I was disappointed that George Lucas decided to make prequels instead of sequels starring Mark, Carrie, and Harrison (I wanted more of what I knew and loved). As a creator, I respect what George wanted to do. However, fact remains, a bunch of time passed, and from a story sense all of our original main characters leveled up to the mentor archetype stage.

           1) I, by no means, see or read every SW interview, but on many occasions in print, tv, Youtube, Mark mentioned statements along the lines of “passing the baton,” and “it’s their story now [new kids]” (paraphrasing). He wasn’t just telling the truth from a certain point of view. He meant the action wasn’t going to follow him. I love J.J., but I feel like some fans, based on the TFA switch-a-roo marketing, felt like they were finally going to get a swoll-gym-Luke Skywalker. Or Bruce Lee.

           2) Mark also made several comments about being on the “if it tastes good don’t eat it diet,” not getting to eat his favorite crackers while watching movies, and being allowed to take his time on the stairs/hills of Skellig Michael. He’s human, he’s a prolific voice actor, not an action star (I type this while I’m eating cookies, don’t tell Dr. Captain McHusband, M.D. or he’ll lock me in the gym cave. “Kirby Fluff is my natural state” doesn’t work on him). Anyhow, this was a clue to me that Mark wasn’t going to be too keen on doing a whole lot of stunts. I mean, in comparison, Harrison had it easy in TFA. All he had to do is sit in the pilot seat of the Falcon and raise a blaster to make people happy. Lightsaber battles are hard (Dr. Captain McHusband, M.D allowed our battles to count as daily cardio until I broke his lightsaber. Oops, the dark side isn’t stronger, at least not in plastic.)

B) I knew there was no good reason for Luke to be stuck on Ahch-To. I had already reasoned either:

           1) After all these years, Luke’s plans still weren’t going so well, AND like a dummy he accidentally got himself stuck on Ahch-To. Which fans would have complained about (he has the Force!)…I can hear the Luke-is-still-a-goofy-farmboy cries from the Alternative Universe all the way in this dimension.

           2) He was hiding like a coward cause he didn’t want Snoke to “get” him. Prior to seeing TLJ, I thought this was most likely the case. For whatever reason, I assumed, perhaps, Luke didn’t want to be turned into a “tool” like his nephew. Maybe I thought Snoke was more powerful and Luke knew it. Something along the lines of he thought Snoke would tempt him Christ-in-the-wilderness style. But, the hole in the argument, I mean, what could someone give Luke that might have been better than ruling the galaxy with his birth dad?

           3) But, they surprised me a little by going grizzled, i-don’t-care-anymore, shut off from the Force Luke. However, given the circumstances with Kylo, the death of his other students, from his perspective letting down Yoda as a teacher, it was the most realistic approach in IMO. Not sure if there are therapists in the SW universe. (Or how much hugging Ewoks would really help.) What else would a failed, depressed character do to deal?

C) I knew he needed to change as a character. Else, there wouldn’t have been an interesting character arch. For me, it would have been hard to suspend my belief if he was the same person from, guessing, thirty something years ago. (Look how much Obi-wan changed!) I always loved Luke, but I know a lot of people prefer other characters in SW (Han, Vader, Lando) because they saw Luke as a young, naïve, goody-goody. He blew up the Death Star, faced his father “The Chosen One” most-powerful-Jedi, and the Emperor…what was left to change and challenge him? I think his own pride in having done all that was a good place to start. Even from the beginning he was “I’m Luke Skywalker” and later in ROTJ, “I am a Jedi.” 

Which seemingly showed a lot of pride as a trait (IMO Han didn’t run around saying “I am a smuggler!” with the same gusto). So, I do think Luke having to face himself, and the fact that Luke Skywalker failed, was the last, best villain he could have. 

And in the end, he wins. He helps, because that’s what Luke Skywalker does.

Other Lukey movie thoughts:

I’m sure this lightsaber toss was a little disappointing for Luke…I know the last time he tossed the lightsaber there was a scramble of eligible students vying to get it. But you know, superior Skywalker blood skills and all, Ben caught it.

AND I know if Rey doesn’t fix and then toss the lightsaber at the end of Episode 9, im-gonna-be-disappointed, cause tossing the lightsaber is a Jedi tradition when they don’t need it anymore, ya know?

Anyhow, back on topic, I actually laughed (I think I was the only one) when Luke threw the lightsaber away.

Interestingly, I’ve seen some heartache over this, as some fans believe that Luke wouldn’t disrespect his father that way. I think that gets into interesting territory over if one is more of a OT or PT fan…I know it was Luke’s father’s, but I always saw it more as Luke’s. 

And I dunno if Luke could be described as sentimental over objects…that’s seemingly Kylo’s trait.

And just like lightsabers, first Luke had blue milk, now he has green. I’m actually kinda shocked other fans aren’t more upset that Luke is robbing some poor little sea calf of his dinner. 

Or how untidy he’s become. Aunt Beru taught him to keep his face clean, even on dirty ole Dagobah.

Overall, I was happy with his reunion with Chewie, the Falcon, R2, the holo-clip of Leia from ANH, and his lessons to Rey. Although I am very much looking forward to the deleted scene of the third lesson and deciding if its deletion was a good or bad thing.

I’m pretty sure my jaw dropped when Yoda showed up to have a little chat with Luke, troll him and give him some advice at the same time. And it’s good advice. The sort you could play on repeat when you’re having a bad day (do I hear a new bad lipsync yet???)

Finally, I guess the only other elephant in the room, is Luke choosing to stay on Ahch-To instead of leaving with Rey.

I admit, in theaters the first time, I was a little, “Ah, Luke, come on, help already, don’t be that way grumpy Pooh bear” about it. But not devastated, cause I reasoned this was a plot device, so someone could be left to save the other heroes later on.

Also, if Luke had left with Rey, we would have, IMO, gotten into repeat ANH and TFA plotlines, aka mentor character runs around base-like setting with newbies. (Or even, possibly TPM with mentor character and apprentice chasing baddie into a corner like area, only to have mentor die.) It might have been cool, but I’ve yet to see a description of this scenario that I like better than what actually happened in TLJ or one that doesn’t rob Rey of scenes or power as a character.

At the end of day, I like the miraculousness of Luke’s return on Crait. ‘Cause for me, as a spiritual person, it means, if you boil down Luke Skywalker as a character, he’s still a Christ-like figure. I could probably write you a whole thesis on the comparisons of Luke appearing to everyone on Crait being similar to Christ appearing to his followers after the crucifixion (someone out there probably will)(Im-gonna-wait to write the thesis on Kylo being like Paul, I guess). But, yeah, it defied my expectations of what Luke would and could do. Especially if he knew doing so would possibly kill him. Definition of a true hero.

His “fight” (arguably final lesson) with Kylo, even though they never really lock blades, takes my breath away. I didn’t think SW could top the snow fight in TFA, but now I’m tied with the Praetorian Guards for *fangirls* “the good parts” (aka the scenes I will lazily watch over and over on Youtube ‘cause Bluray startup is just too many seconds to wait).

Yup, I did tear up a bit when Luke fades away. But, honestly, I couldn’t have imagined a better, more peaceful way for Luke to go. In ANH when he first looks into the double sunset, I always had this feeling that he was searching for something more. To end his character’s journey with the same double sunset, really felt like that search was over. It was perfect.

But, I got a feeling seeing Force Ghost Luke is going to be pretty cool *wink wink*.