#im probably going to delete this later because i do NOT want arguments i will not be budging on this so dont waste your time

[tyranitarkisser]

I do not understand this new obsession with having the "right" reading of a fictional character. Oh so and so cant be a trans boy because how could he have figured himself out by 13 - Why do you care? What do you gain from professing your personal reading of this character as the correct one? How does someone hc'ing this character as a trans man affect your enjoyment of the same character as trans woman? It doesnt!!! Just dont look at their art!!! Stop trying to start arguments for no reason!!! We are talking about our enjoyment of fiction and what everyone takes away from their favorite fiction is 100% informed by their own upbringings and relationships. You dont have to understand it to respect other peoples headcanons. Who CARES if it defies canon in some way. Why does it matter so much to you. Jesus christ

[thebadtimewolf]

hey

do yall know any genuine rose tyler stans that are actually upset about how s1 rose was treated as an equal AND a love interest but as soon as s2-s4 rose was treated more as a equal BECAUSE of her being pideonholed as only a 'i can do things too! see!' archetype of love interests that it took two other characters to be treated as an actual equal? like why did ten thru donna said that he needs an equal and that what the dr needs an equal??

rose was already an equal in season 1. its established bts that rose was an equal to ninth doctor? but now why didn't that sentiment continued on with ten? what happened?

like martha is treated like an actual equal because the dr in the past have always hated themselves, reflected back at them, but still shared the joy and comradarie during a joint adventure with said version of self. like even the time lord victorious two parter book - 8 was flirting and 10 flirted back but at the end of the day - both of em can carry themselves without the arrival of the other, leaving the eyerolling and mild disgust or disinterest aspect to ninth dr when he shared a room with them. like the dr not wanting to "date" martha even though he literally in text trying real hard to pull the wool in both ur qnd his own eyes is essentially him trying not to fuck himself.

donna is - in an almost wish-fufilled in what the dr missed from the master - considered an equal preestablished since season 3 guest appeared and fully in season 4. shes seen as a pea in the pod like the dr master rani and romana - keeping up with that specific lot of em without going thru the 'but im better than you' alien egoist rhetoric that the time lords fall to in times of upper handedness. she can manipulate she talk fast she tech-savvy yet people-grounded BUT she makes sure the respect isnt temporary and doesnt lord it over people because everyone is great and without that person, the whole system can fall apart.

because so far, it doesnt feel that way. like are yall not mad that tenth doctor gave rose up?

after seasons of build up and getting shot and everything? the funky alien eldritch being in a mask of an earth lookin boy that had a chance to man up and show feelings when the opportunity is very in your face given to him to do so in a space where he could do so and — he just gave her up? all that moping and whining and when given what he wanted, he just went: no. here. i need an equal and i have donna so im giving you what i TEN think you want as an equal in me and thats him. BUT NINEROSE ARE EQUALS SHE NEVER SAID SHE WANTED HIM HUMAN BUT RATHER HIMSELF AS HE IS.

its like fridging rose but worse. in s2-4 you made her in memory of someone else that ALWAYS treated her as an equal instead of actually continuing on with that with the next face. death wouldve been more forgiving and thats not a great thing to come to a conclusion to. The one that really treated you as both a love interest AND equal is dead, and now you're married to the discarded imitation of the one that only typecasted you as a love interest.

tentoo should be mad abt this too but this aint about him, this is about yall and the rose tyler connundrum.

i wouldve settled for her having the hand - settling for the hand if that hand turned into ninth doctor (like full on christopher eccleston doing donna impression everything) instead of what we got - which was dust. it made more sense that way. because then the dialogue narrative - the doctor's excuse - wouldve been more well recieved. Does it need saying would have more weight if Eccleston played a NineToo whispered i love you because you know it was well meant. Genuine. Its coming from someone that always treated you as an equal and also getting that i love you and not just - oh the human i love. i miss them not because i treated them on equal terms, its strictly because i only love them - no equality at all

like yeah chris wasnt going to return but hes a movie actor - hes used to green screen. he couldve sent a video message in a leather jacket and let it be done. like we couldve had nine saying i love you to rose on doomsday like do you get what im trying to say like. like tooth and claw if it was nine and rose both wouldve been like 'oh look at that a werewolf transformation!' And not what. we got. LIKE DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN

[pineappleparfaitie]

Aight ill bite CW// talks about Israel and Palestine, talks about the genocide, talks about a certain person (if youre reading this please read fully even if you think im spouting bulshit) Ect...ect...

UPDATED on may 31st This post was in refrence to things S claimed/said in their posts and then later deleted said posts. This post made points /claims that i told them they should be ashamed of their jewish herritage, that the thing in palestine isnt a genocide, me saying this isnt about religion ,saying zionists are all evil/bad and that they are colonizers I alaborated on every point below trying to give some counter arguments and points. I poorly worded myself in 1 section (the religion section) . The point i was trying to make was that if the foundation of zionism is built on the idea a jewish state/isreal in this case needs to be there bcecause of things in jewish faith or myth- then by that logic shouldnt palestine only be there because in Islam its where Muhammed a.s was sent to by Gabriel before he went to heaven? The point was flawwed and S had a point that this had to do with religion but for the wrong reason.The motive for zionism is religion bassed and holds no weight because THEN we should take EVERY faiths interpretation of an area and then say ''well in my holy book it says THIS was HERE so therefor it HAS to be there !'' Im sorry onto the OG post.

Show me proof that I ever told you to be ashamed of your Jewish herritage cause I want threw our dm's and didint find that I will apologise for that because that would be awful

Here is the definiton of Zionism Zionists are actively encouriging the idea of a greater Isreali and the genocide of the Palestinian people. I greatly reccomend you listen to this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xottY-7m3k&t=1179s&ab_channel=Shaun if you have the time. The Palestinian peoples land has been destroyed.Their chidlren killed. Their hosptials gone. I know what a zionist is- and their belief is what I take issue with, a belief you hold that being - letting the state of Isreali exist. I do not want a single Isreali dead apart from those who have killed children and enjoyed it, gone to destroyed homes and taken pictures with underwear and bras, and the leaders of the Israeli goverment. Isrealies didint choose the land they were born in, and those who even revoke their citizenship are doing a spectacular job. You say where will the Israeli people go IF their home is given back to the Palestinians- but not where Palestinians will go when Israel has murdered them. But Zionists in my eyes are BAD people cause they IGNORE what the existance of Israel will do - since look at what its doing.Is ''self defence'' killing 30 THAUSAND people and killing babies?Dididnt know babies carried guns..

This is exactly what Palestnine is going threw. now when this doesnt have to do with religion i meant this and I should have clarrified this that is my fault I mean that this whole thing has lost the point, religion is being USED TO JUSTIFY this genocide on the side of Isreal. That Jerusalem was the home to Israel in Jewish tradition. What about in Islam where Jerusalem where Mohammed went there when instructed by the angel Gabriel? Fyi im a muslim. Muslim herritage muslim everything. By archeological findings its said that around 4000BC its believed thats when the earliest ancestor of Palestine lived in whats now Palestine and Israel. When i say ''this isnt about religion'' i mean it stopped being about it long ago. It stopped being about a homeland of sorts and it became murdering people. But I will admit fault as much as I try to explain it- this does have to do with religion. You were right in the notion that religion caused this to an extent. ''Theyre all colonozers'' Okay this one rings less true on my part. I should have probably used ''settlers'' or something else. You were correct I used wrong terminology.Im sorry I should not have done that and it was my fault for using that term without properly going into depth on its meaning. But how am I a neo nazi? that means i want to reinstate the Nazi ideology?I want jews dead?I want queer people dead?I want people of color dead?I believe in a greater Germany? I hate the state of Israel, not jewish people. Israel has hurt RABBIS !They not only DONT CARE ABOUT PALESTINIANS BUT JEWISH PEOPLE!And their own! They have let their own people be hurt to paint a narrative. And I dont say ''Hamas bad'' CAUSE ITS COMMON KNOWLADGE!NO SHIT KILLING INNOCENT PEOPLE WAS BAD!THAT FUCKING SUCKS!FUCK THEM TOO !But you want HAMAS to be destroye but not ISRAEL?Thats a bother to me too. I didint cut ties with you cause I thought you were a zionist, not cause youre jewish, not cause I think you have ill intent or less of a human being. But because I couldnt handle talking to you, due to personal expiriences and just not being able to take it. You have the right to feel hurt because of what I did. But what prompted you to calling me something as fowl as a neo nazi? Im sorry. If youre reading this Im sorry that I hurt you, Im sorry for my actions. Im sorry for it. But calling me anything else would have hurt less.

[smileymoth]

.

No i hate actually how much my dad has shaped me into a person and how i interact with things. I hate that i'm just like him sometimes and i express my feelings in the exact same dysfunctional way sometimes. That i lash out in anger sometimes. That i hate when people do things the "wrong" way. I hate that i had to fear him every weekend when he came home because what if the rooms werent clean enough and he would yell or be mad. I hate that i had to walk around eggshells around him when he was in a bad mood so he wouldnt yell at me, and i hate it more that it still fucks me up to the point that i run away when someone is upset bc im afraid of them. I hate that i would have such horrid anxiety abt him coming home on the weekends or staying at home for longer that i wished he hadn't come in the first place. I hated so much how he would twist my moms words, and read through all her messages and browse through all her history and shit on her and me for how long we both spent on the computer so i learned to delete history to get away with more computer time. I hate how one time he slapped me so hard on the thigh that it left a bruise but he denied it later so i have no fucking clue if it actually happened because hes never been physical w me and my mom but i remember it so vividly. It was 1 time and never again and in 3rd(?) Grade and i still remember it every now and then. I dont like it that i hated being at home because 80% of the time they were fucking arguing with my mom in the kitchen over something HE made up because HE was jealous of my mom or didnt like sth that my mom did bc HE didnt like it. He caused her so much grief and she had to put up with it and i followed suit because i wanted him to like me so i was nasty to my mom to please him. I had to listen to him rant abt mom and just nod along because i didnt know what to say. And then he started getting better and he wasnt so argumentative anymore so me and my mom were like omg hes changing. And then he fucking died. And i had to watch him die at the hospital while repeating to myself he will be fine becwuse hes a big strong man who has never been sick so he MUST survive, all while doing homework for logo class. And i woke up on tje morning of the 28th dec at 5am with the thought that my dad is probably dead. I brushed it off like haha im just anxious and went to sleep again. He died at 4am. I knew, i felt it.

And now i miss him so often because he was just misguided and didnt know how to deal with his emotions properly. But he still hurt me so bad and my mom even more from what shes told me. And i dont hate him at all even though i would be so scared of him id be nauseous and id cry before he came home bc i was so scared he woild be mad at me. i love him so much but i see him in my dreams so often and hes always so mean and rude in them and it sucks because i miss his hugs and i want him to hug me again and make jokes with me till im crying and i want to wake up on a saturday and go to tje kitchen to see him watching a russian youtube video about construction or "тор 10 момент" compilations while he eats his megapacked mayo grill sandwich and then he turns the water to boil so i could have tea. I want my dad to calm me down again because he was the only person who could do it at times. I want to be like hey dad im struggling with schoolwork can i just sit next to you and brainstorm out loud until i come up with something and yiu can help me think. Hey dad look im knitting a sock hahah yeah i know im crazy for that haha yeah. I miss him but i dont miss tjat he was so awful all tje time. Why couldnt he just be normal why did he have to be a controlling little freak who wanted everyone to do just as he wanted it to happen. And now wjenever sth happens i always find a way to connect it to my dad without wanting to. I hate it. I dont want to think of him as much because all my thoughts about him are so confusing and complex because of the person he was and it makes me feel worse and more confused and yet also nothing. Im happy my dad is dead because my mom is in a much happier relationship right now and i no longer fear coming home because What If hes in a Bad Mood and therfor walking too loud will make him yell. And then he will claim he didnt. While he clearly did

[munsonology]

Well I need a new therapist lmaoooo

I told her I was uncomfortable regarding a certain celebrity.

I don't mind them as a person, though I feel they are v performative on certain topics and exploits things for money. My main issue is they don't tell their fans anything like they don't say hey no death threats. Maybe they have and then I would feel slightly better about the person, but the fans are moreso my issue.

Regular fans are fine, my sister is. But its the rabid stans who want to crawl in the celebrity's ribcage to breathe the same air as them. Crazy. True definition of stan. Like, I know someone who quite literally went to this celeb's concert not once but THREE times. Fine no big deal, enjoy, I've been to a concert more than once just not in the same concert season lineup thing. Except they then begged for money because they had spent their money for rent and their BABY who is going through a growth spurt has no clothes that fit- this person even said they spent the money on the concert in the comments. Like what???? I've seen fans doxx people for having a differing opinion. Just not people I feel comfortable associating with

Normally idc im not involved whatever, just avoid them. The REASON it got brought up to my therapist, wasn't because I just randomly dislike this celeb. That isnt the reason.

The REASON it got brought up is because Spotify wrapped happened and I mentioned that I was uncomfortable because two people who severely fucked me up mentally (one was emotionally abusive and the other harassed and stalked me) had this artist in their top 5. Also My ex friend who ended up posting pictures of my house when she knew I had a stalker (I had moved snd they hadn't found this place until they posted) also had this artist in top 5. (And yes if was malicious, we had an argument and then they posted the outside of my house, sure they deleted the post later but the guy had already seen it as she had a public account and he followed some of my friends on fake accounts. We weren't friends after this)

I made the comment that they all had widely different tastes but all liked the same artist, and I made a joke that I should have known it was a red flag (we had spent the therapy session discussing signs i should have noticed in these people and ways they were alike which made me even think of the artist WHICH is why it was brought up).

And to be fair the reasons I listed of the people who have done things to me are probably why I dislike the celeb.

But my therapist actually called me stupid and wrong because apparently the artist was in THEIR top 5. Which, uh, okay my bad. Started going hard against me, even cursed at me So I again point out that in my mind it's linked to my abusers and people who betrayed my trust, and my therapist went "the majority isnt like that" to which I mentioned the rest of the points about things I've seen online. I guess I could have just apologized but she was coming at me and I was already on edge talking about everything, then they called me stupid and berating me...

Well I was uncomfortable then but i thought "hey, you did insult someone they obviously like, it's normal to be a lil defensive" and was like well we can move past. But no, quite literally this last session sealed the deal, because instead of talking about my trauma or anything, she made me listen to their albums. Which wtf??? Who does that irl?? Explained all the nuances and the theories and shit I DONT CARE about. I tried to tell them, but ok I also infodump on things I care about. Then they told me that my abusers must not be THAT bad because they have good taste. I walked out. Still got charged for the full session, and I filed a complaint. I dont see how they have their license????

I'm pissed rn haha and it actually had the opposite effect and has solidified that I do not like this artist in my mind. At. All.

Aww bestie that sucks 😭 first thank you for sharing! Second, this therapist is completely unprofessional. They shouldn’t have let their personal like of this artist affect how they’re treating you during the sessions YOU pay for.

And the fact that someone spent their rent money and their baby’s money…where’s the priorities, where’s the values, where’s the morals?

For me, I’ve also disliked a celebrity because of their fans and fandoms. Especially on twitter. I could write a whole thesis on how dysfunctional this fandom is on twitter 💀

There’s good and bad sides to all fandoms, I think in general we all have to find where we fit and surround ourselves with people who value us as much as we value them.

Anon, you have every right to like or not like something. That’s what makes friendships beautiful. I hope you’re able to find a therapist that can support you properly anon 🩷😭 some of these people get their license out a happy meal

[recoverychronicles]

Entry 2.

January - March 2018

I can’t imagine anybody would think, from knowing how the relationship was, that moving in together would work out okay.

Ill do you one better, we then moved in with his family. Don’t get me wrong, they were super nice to also take me in, and allow me to move in with them, they probably also knew it wasn’t a smart idea to the two of us to live together after knowing each other for the time that we did. Two hormonal 18 year olds? I don’t think so.

Im 100% certain the plan was for us to move into the family’s granny flat, but his uncle still had a month left out there, so we were in the spare room. I don’t want to sound ungrateful for saying this, but i had no privacy of my own, let alone in a room in a house of a family of 5. If you’re thinking it was claustrophobic, it was.

It was around this time that the super controlling behaviours started.

I wasn’t allowed to get out of bed until he woke up, me being an early riser and him waking up at 1pm most days, the joys of being unemployed.

I had to ask permission to go to the toilet, and I wasn’t allowed to take my phone with me. I wasn’t allowed to eat without his permission, and if i was hungry when he wasn’t i just had to have a cup of tea to suppress my hunger until he was ready. My eating disorder was thriving in this environment but my body wasn’t. With this new rule he had implemented in my life, over the course of the next 6 months, i lost 35kgs. I went from 85-90kgs to a 55kgs stick. I dropped from an AUS pant size 12 to a 6/8. Sometimes his mother rallied behind my eating disorder brain and even gave me tips, i was scared of what i was capable of “accomplishing” with the new found information she had given me, as well as his strict enforcement.

He then implemented his “no showering alone” rule, he could shower alone by all means, but i was not allowed to, heaven for bid i could be talking to other boys on my phone in the shower and sending nudes while i was in there.

About this time in the relationship is when he started to go through my phone while i slept, he felt insecure while we were watching a movie? I was to hand over my phone so that he could go through it. One of these nights while i slept, he decided it was the perfect time to check to see what i had been up to, and instead of being a normal person, and only getting insecure about things that had happened in the relationship, he would go through the entire history of every app i had downloaded. He woke me up on this particular night, because he had found nude photos that i had sent when i was 16 (a whole year before i knew he existed), and started an argument over it. Wanna know how it ended? I was to send him the photos, delete the chat and remove that boy… who wants nudes of their girlfriend when they were 16? Isn’t that classed as child pornography?

2 nights later? He did the same thing, except with my photos app. He found a photo of me with two of my male friends, my tits were out as i had gotten my nipples pierced THAT DAY. Me, obviously proud that i had done that, happily posed for the photo that was on only my phone. Woke me up, started an argument. Solution? Deleting the photo and my friends of all forms of social media.

It was at the beginning of January we were invited to my best friends 18th down in her hometown. His family own a shack down there so we went with his family, and went to our drinks for her birthday. He spent the whole time betting on the horses and the dogs, and I wasn’t allowed to leave his side. Im not sure how the argument this night even started, I remember we were on our walk home and the only words we would say were screamed at each other. Upon our entrance to the caravan park, I don’t know how it happened or why, but i went to step in front of him and i ended up shoving him into the fence of the tennis court. He would continue to hold that against me, even after he held scissors to my throat.

This then progressed in sexual abuse.

I started getting pressured into having sex with him, anytime he wanted, anywhere he wanted. The sexual abuse is the main part that I’ve shut out of my brain. The time that the sexual abuse started, my undiagnosed Endometriosis symptoms started to show. I had no idea what Endo was, I didn’t know i had it, these symptoms came out of nowhere. I already had the pain during sex, but the nausea afterwards was mild where i could get through it and pretend it wasn’t there. i thought the pain during sex was normal, I hadn’t been having sex before i met him, I didn’t know any better. The nausea started to get excruciating, to the point where i was sitting in the shower for an hour the next morning with an ice block because it was still there. Even with nausea, pain and bleeding, he would still pressure and beg me for a round 2, and a round 3, and morning sex, with no guilt. No apology.

Towards the end of January i had a fight with one of the girls i mentioned from schoolies. I was upset because i felt as though all of my friends were leaving me because i had a boyfriend, it didn’t take me long into the relationship to realise that it was the boyfriend that i had chosen. I think he particularly made me cut off contact with my best friend because i would confide in her about what was actually happening in the relationship, rather than just tell her the good parts, the parts that you only show social media. From memory i had confronted this particular friend, yelling at her over text messages about how it was unfair that all the other girls were allowed to have boyfriends but I wasn’t, and how i least expected it to come from her, to just cut me off without an explanation.

It took me 3 years to figure out that i actually had a crush on her our entire friendship, and whilst we grew closer as friends, i also began gaining feelings for her. I blamed me being bisexual on thinking one of the popular girls had a crush on me because she was nice to me, of all people, in high school and actively wanted to hang out with me. Turns out she was just a nice person. Being bisexual was something another part of my identity that was taken away from me because it made him uncomfortable.

“that means you could cheat on me with men and women and I don’t like that, are you sure you’re not just faking it for attention?”

Not wanting to cause an argument, i responded, “thats probably what it is, I’m straight.”

“Thanks you.”

The argument with he friend didn’t go well, and i ended up just pushing her away, when i would have really needed her in the future. When i finally left the relationship and came out about what i went through, she was extremely apologetic, and appologied to me for months. When in reality, how was anybody supposed to know the lengths he went to to torment me, when I wasn’t allowed to say anything?

February came around, and i was ready to leave, but, my pride wouldn’t let me. I had put up a fight to be with this guy, that I thought loved me, and i had hopes that it would get better.

Our first Valentine’s Day together, was a shit show. I had expectations that it would be romantic, guess its my fault for having those sort of expectations for a guy like him. We spent the entire day fighting over the town. He was screaming, i was screaming. He had this notion in his head that if he wanted to walk away from an argument he could just stay put and have time to himself, but if he were to leave, I HAD to follow him. Then there were other times, where i told him i needed space, and he wouldn’t even give me a centimetre of room. I don’t know who told him to do that, it definitely wasn’t me.

We ended up in the local park screaming at each other for hours, this was the first argument where i had the courage to message someone about what was actually going on, and i picked the last person on my side, the real DUFF in the friendship group. I talked to her every time i managed to get a minute alone, where he wasn’t screaming at me in public.

Then, he would compensate for the argument with being overly loving, caring and compassionate. Does that come under love bombing or just being an abusive narcissist?

2 weeks later, the girl i was talking to during that argument was in our area and asked me to catch up. Knowing I wasn’t allowed to leave the house without permission, i asked his mum whether i was allowed to have a friend over. I thought that i was being respectful, according to him i should have asked his permission, asking his mum wasn’t good enough. As if she didn’t own the house.. you guess it, that started an argument, he was on his way back from school, screaming at me over the phone on the bus. Very rational response.

While he was at school, he met a girl that be befriended. In the beginning it was okay with this, all i asked for was that he keep me updated and not do anything that would disrespect me. Over the course of a couple days i was stuck in my own head about him being with a girl all day. I can’t imagine that he would be okay with me A) going to school and B) making a male friend, so i started to get uncomfortable and began to shut down. The way that i expressed my feelings when i decided to fess up wasn’t model behaviour.

One day while he was at school I received unsolicited dick pics, and guess who got blamed for it, me. The way he reacted to me telling him things just made me not want to tell him, but when he went ballistic at me over it, i was demanded to give him space while he spoke to his girl friend about it all. I was upset that he would rather communicate with someone else rather than me over an issue that directly related to me.

That wasn’t the first time that he put her over me, but thats coming.

March.

Time to meet his deadbeat dad. Sperm donor. The guy that refused to pay for school shoes. The guy that cheated on his mum with zero sympathy.

We spent the day strolling around the city, waiting for him to tell us when he was ready. What do Normal couples decide to do when they’re aimlessly walking around a city? Public sex. Ill insert a spoiler alert here, if your partner says to you that the door is locked, don’t believe them, and check for yourself. That was my mistake.

We thought the UNI study hub was the best place to decide to have our public sexcapade. He told me multiple times that the door was locked, and i stupidly believed him. We fucked, i was on my period and still paranoid that I could get pregnant so i told him he needed to pull out, i started walking to the toilet with my tights at my ankles, and he began cumming in the bin next to the sink.

That’s when someone walked in.

I shouldn’t be the one that is mortified, I wasn’t the one cumming in a bin, in public.

Then we were on our way to go meet his dad, who was as standoffish as any person could be, barely spoke 2 words to me, barely even looked at me, you’d think I wasn’t even there, or i was his personal security, thats how little i existed that night. He never stood up for me to his dad, he just let him get away with treating me like that, but I shouldn’t have had high expectations.

A week later he was upset that i posted a selfie on instagram without his permission…

The apocalypse birthday. The name kind of gives it away, this night there was a lot.

His mum had booked us a hotel for 2 nights as her birthday present to him, a beautiful gesture.

We were invited to a friends birthday party before we went to town, where one of our male friends kissed my boyfriend on the lips on arrival, immediate shit mood. Normally that wouldn’t have upset me, i think i only began to react to situations the way that he would, almost like i was conditioned to. I shut down, i went quiet.

I only snapped when we were in the line for a club in town, when he made a snarky comment to me about something, and i bit back, and proceeded to leave. I made my way back to the hotel room and started to get ready for bed. When he came bursting through the door screaming at me, threatening to kill himself. This argument was the most intense it had ever gotten, and the most heated.

This is where the suicidal threats began. He threatened to kill himself multiple times, i tried reasoning with him, i tried getting angry and upset at him, i even tried physical restraint, where he would just end up screaming for help and telling the people in the rooms around us that i was trying to kill him. Id had enough and tried to leave. I wasn’t equipped to try and help someone in that situation, even after everything i had already tried. As i was leaving he continued to scream asking for help, instead of leaving the situation and him, i decided to call his best friend. I don’t know what it was about me calling him, but he snapped back to reality too quickly, and went straight back to normal, and was now just upset at me because i had called him.

[plugnuts]

Forced to spend my time on a phone that doesn’t want to charge :)

This was supposed to be JohnKat day but I can’t participate and I can’t stop being sad :)

Yeah I can’t even use the happy face ironically today has been so bad I’m sorry I’m even posting this I just want to vent a bit I dunno :(

[shoezuki]

This is a post on the cheating accusations around dream mostly surrounding his response video.

If you don’t want to see this or any of these posts then blacklist the tag #discourse

SO I’ve been doing a lot of digging into what dream has said in his response to Geosquare’s original video and report, which was compiled and conducted by the Minecraft Java mods on speedrun.com. 

I won’t talk about that original report in detail, but basically: the mods came to the conclusion that Dream had a 1 in 7.5 trillion chance of getting the pearl bartering rates and the blaze drop odds that he did within the 6 streams he did. As in, someone would need that luck to replicate what dream got. Therefore, he cheated. 

I’m going to put this into a sort of ‘point form’ in according to topic, attempting to put it in chronological order.

Dream’s Initial Tweets

Ok so first like. these are bad. these tweets are what he said (on twitter, excluding in the speedrunning discord) directly after the video was Uploaded to Geo’s channel. 

worth noting he did apologize later, although i wanted to talk about these two instances so i felt the need to include it. 

there’s a lot of interesting wording in the apology tweet itself too. I personally find that when he apologizes he tends to still be very subtextually angry in them with the tone, but more specifically. where he says ‘although i have reason to be upset’, that’s kinda weak and really unneeded. Alongside the ‘intense criticism’, it reads as him trying to say he’s still in the right. kind of like “im sorry i was rude even though I had reason to be rude’. Its an apology sure but he’s not saying sorry for how he really reacted; its justified to him.

Dream’s Response Video

Dream posted a response on his side channel DreamXD on the 22nd, along with the report he had a supposed astrophysicist conduct. I’m going to talk about the report separately from the video for reasons I’ll explain. 

Frankly, the video doesn’t really summarize or explain the report in a meaningful way. At most, it takes some points from it but tends to twist the numbers around, misunderstand the probability and math, and also what the report itself concludes. 

Essentially, dream’s video insists that the numbers found by the mods are wrong and therefore he didn’t cheat at all, yet the report concludes that the numbers found by the mods weren’t entirely accurate, however they’re still extremely unlikely. This is also all under the assumption that the report is entirely correct (ill say how its not next)

His first point is that only his 1.16 run (that was at 5th place two months ago, would have now been 16th) was deemed cheated. This is true; the mods have said that he isnt banned outright and theres no reason to question the legitimacy of his 1.15 runs. 

He also concludes that Geo’s statement that Dream didn’t cooperate with them, and that he deleted 1.16 mod folders, was false. This one is a little more complicated. It could more be chalked up to a miscommunication, although it’s relevant. Geosquare posted screenshots of the specific conversation they had:

Essentially it wasn’t entirely clear, i can understand how geo and the mods interpreted it in such a way. Altho April added in a quote retweet thread that dream didn’t supply the folder she asked for, so he didn’t supply everything they asked for like he states in the video

Essentially: yeah, misleading and weird on both ends. I dont think this is really anything quantifiable, although dream talked about this in the video heavily. 

Out of this though, Geo DID correct himself in the description of the mods’ video. Dream shows this in his own response, but it crops out some of what geo says. here’s from dream’s video

that Update 2 is where he corrects himself. literally why the fuck would you crop it like this and put it in the video i mean this looks so weird and genuinely doesnt provide anything. Here’s what geo actually said

Dream specifically cut it before the line where geo mentions how he said he deleted his specific 1.16 speedrun profile. This one is just so dumb to me. I’d say ‘why not include that’ but either i feel its a) so there’s no potential for people to say what he had actually said could be interpreted otherwise easily or b) doesnt want people to know he got so upset he deleted files (ego wise yknow). Again, I dont think this is definitive of anything but god. it feels scummy lmao

The Video: Incorrect Representation of His Own Report

Dream straight up doesnt present the report’s numbers properly. In fact it makes the entirety of his visuals forfeit, i.e. the gold block analogy that goes on for like 20 minutes. 

The mods said his luck was 1/7.5 trillion. Dream’s report says its 1/10 million (with the addition of 5 other streams) or 1/100 million (only the 6 streams).

I’ll only consider the 1/10 mil odds, since its all dream really brings up. but Basically; there’s not much difference between 1/10 million and 1/7.5 trillion. 

Dream says that the difference is 7.5 trillion minus 10 million, aka 7.4999 trillion. This is what his entire visual with the gold blocks is based on. This is absolutely incorrect, i cant stress that enough. 

You can’t find the difference of fractions by subtracting only the denominators. Like. this is elementary school math. it just doesnt work. 

It’d actually be calculated as: (1/10 000 000) - (1/7 500 000 000 000) = (74999/7 500 000 000 000)

If the mods are wrong, they’re only wrong by 749999/7.5 trillion. that’s literally only  0.000000099999866666667. 

Dream no doubt saw the numbers, considered 10 million vs. 7.5 trillion, and used these big numbers to hold his own point. PROBABILITY DOESNT WORK LIKE THAT. I really think he was just taking advantage of the seemingly big numbers here and wrote it out in a way that favoured him. The gold block analogy in the video played throughout the entire video practically, jokes were made on it, and he made a point of it being ‘so big the game crashed’. 

It’s just plain wrong. even so a difference in the odds doesnt prove shit. He’s downplaying his own odds that he found too. 1/10 million isnt a small number. Even though the legitimacy of that calculation is in question, it is still significant enough to proclaim he cheated. 

Some quick points before I move onto the report; these aren’t as significant in my eyes but it adds to the picture

there’s been criticism of his joking manor throughout the entire video, very specifically the Bill Nye joke. Considering he doesnt actually have a name to provide for his astrophysicist, this joke doesnt feel right

the mod he had a voice clip from (willz) even believes that he cheated and has agreed with the mod team the whole time. 

Dream never has a name for the mod who is apparently on his side (more understandable), the minecraft developer he quoted, or the astrophysicist (most damning)

Dream states that fabric is used by most speedrunners which is true, but fabric and fabric API are different; dream also had the latter installed. my knowledge of how theyre different is limited, all i really know is the API is what can enable editing of the code while fabric is more a modloader. im not entirely sure on this

Dream has said at the end of the video that all funds will go to the mod team so they can make a client that will regulate cheaters. this has been noted as feeling manipulative or like a ‘bribe’, but it definitely puts the mods in a bad position. 

either they accept it and look like they ‘gave in’ to dream and therefore acknowledge him in the right

they deny it and look selfish/taking dream’s kindness for granted

geo said they would insist it goes to a charity instead

Dream constantly disregards the mods as young, inexperienced, ‘just volunteers’ etcetcetc, despite the fact that theyre analysis has been discussed by people with confirmed PhDs without much criticism

Dream’s Report

The report itself is extremely interesting, in that it’s very questionable, but even so it doesn’t come to the conclusion that dream didn’t cheat. The tone between the video and the report is drastically different. 

This is from the “3. What are the goals of this document?” section:

It essentially says this isnt intended, from the very beginning, to completely exonerate dream of cheating. Also note that the author says the mods’ report was mostly correct. 

This is at the end of “9 Conclussions”:

It does notably say cheating isnt the only explanation, but it doesnt actually go as far to say that it’s not possible that he cheated. 

But this can be argued to not matter if we consider the validity of the report as a whole

Dream’s Report: Criticisms

Possibly the first and most known debunking of the report is by u/mfb on reddit, although there’s been much more such as this programmer criticizing the code provided at the end of the report (partially due to how the author of it stated that piglins barter 4-7 pearls, which is incorrect: it’s 4-8), Andrew Gelman, an actual statistician professor from harvard, commented on the original mods’ report as ‘impressive’ while Dream’s report is being regarded as something funny in the comments, and even analysis of dream’s behaviours and his argument by a law student

But what u/mfb posted is what i’ll focus on. Some background into the user; he’s a particle physicist, is moderator in subreddits like r/cosmology and r/astrophysics, he’s regarded as a reliable source on r/askscience and r/askreddit. Basically, multiple other people have vouched for him and before all this he had many posts in these fields. 

that’s already better than the unnamed astrophysicist. 

The post is better speaking for itself but here is a few exerpts from it;

Essentially, the report’s methods are debunked by u/mfb-, alongside that a moderator of r/statistics regarded the report as ‘nonsensical in its application of statistics’ and linked to u/mfb-’s comment. 

i’m going to end this here. Partially because severe backpain or whatever,.

but I want to say at this point its practically definitive that dream cheated, that he lied to us, and that he continues to do so. Much more could be said on his video such as his tone, intentions, the overt emphasis on the ‘biases’ of the mods. 

I havent even mentioned that the ‘astrophysicist’ themself may be a scam; they are sourced from a website that is extremely sketchy, has no names attached to it, and was created less than a year ago (with practically no traffic on it until maybe a month ago). 

But i hope this is coherent. I have interest in this so if theres questions im always open. 

[backhurtyy]

tagged by @zukkaclawthorne !!! thank you for the tag my dear!!!!

1) why did you choose your url? i'm ace and i like dragons.... zuko's ace and he has a dragon.... bam

2) any side blogs? i have a star wars side blog @aceobiwan

3) how long have you been on tumblr? uhhhhh i was on here in like 8th grade? and then i deleted my account, tried again in sophomore year, deleted my account again, and now i've had this one for a year.

4) do you have a queue tag? no i spam people with a bunch of nonsense then vanish into the ether and then do it again a little bit later

5) why did you start your blog in the first place? i was desperate for more zukka content and also wanted to promote my fics somewhere

6) why did you choose your icon/pfp? i actually made it!!!! i just wanted an ace zuko pfp to go with my blog but i didn't just want it to be a flag behind him, so... i did some editing :)

7) why did you choose your header? because i adore terra with my entire heart and it was the first time anyone had ever made me art for one of my fics and i loved it and it's just so NICE to look at! although, i will say that it will be changing tomorrow....

8) what's your post with the most notes? the one i made about asexuals being transcendent

9) how many mutuals do you have? uhhhhhhh....... a lot? always more than i think i do

10) how many followers do you have? 585

11) how many people do you follow? 222

12) have you ever made a shit post? my entire life is a shitpost

13) how often do you use tumblr each day? .....so often. far too often.

14) did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog? who won? i really hate drama so. no

15) how do you feel about "you need to reblog this" posts? despise them. i don't want to see them. they make me anxious.

16) do you like tag games? yeah!!! i don't always do them but i always smile when i'm tagged in something

17) do you like ask games? PLEASE TALK TO ME

18) which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? oof uhhhhh jo probably? uhhhh i feel like alex's blog is really popular too. and im mutuals with a lot of the blogsquad? i would consider them tumblr famous. or at least in our little atla bubble.

19) do you have a crush on a mutual? what is a mutual if not someone to be platonically in love with?

20) tags? i am tired and have been looking at a computer all day so i don't really wanna... think about tagging so. bam if you want to do it, you're tagged

[bedtimebrain]

EXO D.O.: A Little Jealous Part 2! (Your POV)

This part 2 took me really long to get it out. I had initially written it in both Ksoo and Your ‘pov’ in one post. But it got too long! So i decided to change it to just your POV(the norm). I still haven’t decided if i should finish the one on Ksoo’s POV.

Edit: I continued Ksoo’s for fun without the intention to finish it, but I think it turned out pretty decent! So His POV’s part is also up now!!

Part 1 Part 2 Ksoo POV Characters: DKS x reader (+exo & random chr)

————-

Back at the team dinner

At the center of the circle, the bottle spun to minho.

‘Truth or dare!’

‘Truth’

‘Ok so, the team has been really curious. WHEN DID YOU AND Y/N STARTED DATING?!’ Ji Hye asked like she has been holding this in for 10 years.

The both of you were a little taken aback at the question, looking over at each other with a laugh.

‘We are just friends, what gave you that impression? We never dated and will never date guys’ Minho answered

‘No way! You guys definitely look like a couple!’

‘Comeon say the truth y/n! You guys are always hanging out together, i even saw you carrying y/n’s bag for you today’

‘yes yes! Weren’t you both holding hands that day?’

Everyone chimed in disbelief.

‘Didn’t know we appeared this way to you guys. Anyway I was just holding y/n hand to shake off this guy who has been bothering her. And I was just helping Y/N with her bag because she looked like she might die anytime just now’

While everyone was sighing and expressing their disappointment, minho made the next spin. You rolled your eyes at minho when it pointed to you.

You picked dare, wanting to divert the team’s attention to something else instead.

‘Ok then, pick from the dare box.’ You reached your hand into it and pulled out a purple strip.

‘Take a selfie with the person from the previous turn and upload to instagram with the caption ‘a cute us’

You almost had a heart attack reading that, this just fueled everyone’s enthusiasm even more.

Although you knew that kyungsoo probably won’t see this since he doesn’t have instagram, you can’t help but feel guilty and worried about it. You’re attached! (Though you can’t say it) and doing this just doesn’t seem right..

There’s absolutely no way you could get out of this. Denying doing this just makes things seem more suspicious between the both of you. 

Making it fast ,you did the dare and uploaded the picture. Totally forgetting the fact that other members followed you with their privates. You told yourself in 10minutes you’re getting out of here and deleting that photo.

-----

As usual, minho sent you back. After such a long day you can’t wait to just take a shower and flop down on your bed.

Heading to the shower, you screamed at the sight of a bug.

Running to your phone you sent a SOS to minho,

‘THERE’S A BUG PLEASE COME BACK AND SAVE ME I DONT CARE WHERE YOU ARE’

Just 2 minutes later the bell rang. That was certainly a little fast, you thought to yourself.

Running to the door, you shouted ‘MINHO YA!’ Opening the door, you were surprised to see kyungsoo’s face instead. 

'Oppa, why you here ? Did your photoshoot end early? You didn’t text me back tho...’

‘Uh are you expecting someone? Minho?’

‘Oh right, speaking of which I dont need him now, let me drop him a text. Oppa come in and kill the bug for me please!!’ You dragged him right to your shower and stayed far away while he rid the bug for you.

After the bug extermination, you can’t help but sense something’s not too right with kyungsoo tonight.

Hoping to loosen his seemingly tense frame, you reached out to hug him

‘Thank you, for killing the bug’ at the same time flashing him your sweetest smile.

Sitting down and linking your arms in his on the sofa, you asked,

‘Oppa, do you have something to tell me? You don’t look particularly excited or happy to be here today’

Kyungsoo looked to you, and for a good while, did not say anything. Instead, breaking the body contact, he reached for the glass of water on the coffee table; gulping it down as if it was his courage portion.

‘I saw that picture. The one on instagram.’ 

Your heart stopped, a wave of guilt washed over you as you started to explain yourself

‘Ah that.. sorry oppa, it was a dare I had to do at the team dinner, I tried so hard to avoid it but I couldn’t say I was attached either.. ’

‘But the string of comments sure made it sound like you guys are the most popular ship in your school?’ Kyungsoo replied with distaste lacing his voice

It dawned on you that you had never shown minho’s picture to kyungsoo, perhaps that’s why he was so upset about this. He must have thought the guy in the picture was someone special to you that you never mentioned.

‘Oppa that’s actually Minho in the picture. And you know we are just really close friends.’

At this Kyungsoo looked a little stunned. You could tell he was in the midst of processing his thoughts as a frown started to form on his forehead.

‘I don’t really like you hanging out with minho.’ Kyungsoo blurted out 

Now, you didn’t really understand the situation. What’s with kyungsoo acting like a possessive boyfriend? 

‘You were always okay with minho and i hanging out. Why does us taking a picture change that ?’ You were a little irritated, you stood up and started raising your voice.

Seeing that you absolutely lost your cool, kyungsoo didn’t hold back either

‘y/n do you know how i felt looking at those comments?! I am not okay with the whole school thinking you both are together when you’re supposed to be my girlfriend!’, he got up from the sofa in frustration

‘Ya! Even if i am not friends with minho, I can’t always avoid such situations! Because i can’t tell anyone i’m attached, guys still hit on me and people think they can pair me up with random guys because they think i’m single! 

To me, they can think whatever they want but minho is just a friend. Oppa, shouldn’t you of all people understand this the most?’

‘You’re asking me to understand when minho actually looks your ideal type? And i never knew about it?’

You were caught off guard at this question. Your ideal type? Tall, well built, sporty , fun... Suddenly realising minho does fit the bill for your ideal type.

Though feeling a little bad now, you were not going to give in to this ridiculous argument. Your friendship with minho was on the line. 

‘My ideal type? If we wanted to get together, we would have long ago ok! Why would I get together with you then him?!’

You both stayed silent for a little while, turning your backs on each other at the peak of the argument. 

Calming down, you told yourself this could go on and on tonight, or you could just take a softer approach towards your boyfriend.

Out of love, you put aside your frustration and hugged him instead. Leaning into his chest, you didn’t know exactly what to say either. 

Dropping to his low voice, kyungsoo muttered ‘When I saw that picture, it felt like my nightmare came true. Every night i get worried that you would one day get tired of dating an idol.. Or even dating someone like me..’ 

You never knew kyungsoo felt this way, he was never particularly expressive in the relationship. You knew he liked you and genuinely cared for you, but you never knew he loved you this much. 

‘we don’t spend alot of time together but you always get to be with minho.. so much that people think you’re both attached..’

At this point, you saw through him. You came to understand the picture triggered his insecurities and manifested as jealousy. 

You pulled him back down on the sofa and started 

‘oppa, i cannot promise you people will stop misunderstanding minho and i, but i will be more careful to draw a clearer line in our friendship for you. 

and i never thought of minho as my ideal type or saw him in a way more than friends. i know it might not put you at ease hearing me say this, but can you trust me? 

I have been friends with minho for many years and have met many guys too. But it’s you for me ok?’ you held onto his arm and looked in his eyes saying this, hoping he sees what you feel for him.

Poking him at his little belly, you continued light heartedly

‘though you may not be the most attractive looking man out there...’ causing him to look up at you as you say it.

Giving him a peck on the cheek you continued

‘but you make me feel comfortable and special all at the same time. saranghae oppa, you’re the only one.’

At your words, he pulled you closer and rested his chin on your head, saying

‘ Though i still don’t feel the best about our situation and about minho, but i know we can’t help this.. Just promise to stay with me please’

Raising your pinky finger and turning up to face him,

‘ i promise you oppa!’

Linking your pinkies together, kyungsoo finally smiled back at you today and said

‘na do saranghae’ didn’t really turn out the way i thought it would for a jealousy story, haha. but still hope you enjoyed it!

on a side note, im thinking of doing this scenario for baekhyun too! i think his might be much easier to imagine, hahha. if you’re a baek fan please don’t expect too much tho! it won’t be as long as ksoo’s if i actually do it~

[koko-bopp]

Exposé

min yoongi x jeon jungkook x male!reader

word count – 4K

genre – Angst, fluff

warning(s) – argument scene, mentions of homophobia and racism,

synopsis – An incident happened where your boyfriends had had an interview on national television, and one of them publicized your relationship with then. You're the manager of Bangtan, so your concern fell on your job, your relationship, and your life, but also what it meant for the jobs, lives and relationship of your boyfriends.

A/N – for @thatcucumberwhore :))

"Are you guys fucking kidding me?"

Jungkook accidently jumped at the tone of your voice, though Yoongi seemed less surprised. You'd come in practically throwing down the door of you and your boyfriends' apartment, and that being said, you weren't surprised that Jungkook jolted at the noise, it was unlike you.

"Hyung, er–" Jungkook tried his best to speak up, but was cut off quite quickly.

"I'll get to you later," You snapped, and your attention was fixed on Yoongi. He stayed silent, which is a habit that seems to occur whenever he was nervous, but you were fuming, barely thinking about what your boyfriends' might be thinking. "What the fuck, Yoongi. What the actual fuck, you can't just announce shit without–"

"I did," Yoongi argued, standing up from the couch, looking up at you in anger, "And frankly, so did Jungkook, and you knew damn fucking well it was gonna happen anyway."

"You didn't fucking consult me, Yoongi," You grinded your teeth down, doing your best not to react irrationally, "You can't just make decisions because you feel like it, that fucking stunt could've cost us our job!"

Yoongi had no trouble talking back, "Well, it didn't."

Jungkook went in the middle of you two, clearly anxious and panicking, not knowing how to properly resolve the argument. "Guys, please can we just–"

"No," You snapped, slapping away Jungkook's hand before glaring at him. Honestly, you were so insulted by Yoongi's recklessness, and especially because you're the manager of Bangtan, you had no idea what this meant for your career, but not only yours, Yoongi's and Jungkook's too, "You do understand that our boyfriend just outed us on live television, right? South Korean. Television. Where marital relationships like ours aren't recognised by law."

Yoongi grapped your wrist, forcing you to look at him, "How long were you expecting us to keep this a secret?"

"As long as it kept us safe," You spat.

"Even if it was taking a toll on our mental health?" Yoongi said, almost too calmly, "Not everyone can keep themselves sane enough when it comes to this shit, [Y/N]."

You frowned and just stared at Yoongi.

"Mind you, your job is to look after us as well," Yoongi added.

"That requires you to fucking talk to me, Suga," The anger became evident, especially for Jungkook, because you only call Yoongi by his stage name in a professional setting, never outside of it, "Not snake around and leave things up to you."

You ripped Yoongi's grip on your wrist, taking one last glance at Jungkook before getting your jacket from the hanger.

Clearly, staying in the apartment wouldn't do your anger any good, leaving before the water begins to tip was probably the best option. You didn't look at your boyfriends', just spoke, "I'm staying at Jin's. Don't call me."

✨

"You might as well change your Facebook status to 'complicated', and start feeding my cat, bro," Jin said from the kitchen, "You've been living on my couch for four days. Four days. I don't see why you can't just talk to them."

"I don't know..." You huffed, "Bro I deleted all my social media, and I haven't even opened the television for the last few days...I've yet to cop it from PD, though. God knows what he's thinking."

"Yeah, and no offence, you and your whole, 'Im gonna pretend I'm not bothered by acting so overly professional in the workplace with my boyfriends' isn't proof that you're unbothered. It's proof that this is effecting you," Jin walked into the living room, who beers in hand as he did. He tried handing you one, though you rejected the offer, wanting to remain sober while you're still upset.

Your bestfriend, after your boyfriends, is the eldest member of Bangtan. Partly because you two are the same age, you being just a bit older than Jin, but despite that, you two understood each other well. Also, another reason that your relationship with him is so good is because it's the best entertainment to be around Kim Seokjin, the sarcasm is inevitable.

"Look, I get what Yoongs was thinking, but I also get they you may not have been ready, but I also think you just shouldn't give a shit about what people have to say about you," Jin placed his input, sitting down on the couch near you, throwing a leg over the other, taking a swift sip of the beer. "And that's coming from singer that racists and homophobes hate, those fucks on twitter are the worst."

You laughed at his reasoning, your eyes fixed on the loose string on the knee of your jeans. They're ripped jeans, they're supposed to be there, but it bothered you. "I'm still mad that they didn't ask me about it first.."

"No, that's fair. You feel lied to, I get that," Jin responded, "But, people make mistakes."

You scoffed, "Not like this, I don't put people's lives on the line," You shook your head, running your thumb on the bottom of your lip for a second, "This is Seoul, it's super hard to get a job, it's worse if you're not straight, even worse if you're not pale."

"Yeah," Jin agreed, "But in your case. What radical fan is gonna let Jungkook and Yoongi leave– no– get kicked out of BTS? You know how fucking mad people would be? ARMY would literally boycott BigHit. But let's say it's you who needs to leave, those two would quit their jobs in a fucking heartbeat, people would still be mad at BigHit, and more accepting companies would do anything to have those two in their company."

You smirked in amusement. It sounded true, those two are the biases of a lot of fans, people would pissed.

"And to add onto that," Jin continued, "Bangtan would be mad. You think any of us would put our jobs over our bestfriends' happiness? No fucking way. We're wanted eveywhere, it would take an email and two phone calls to get us a job somewhere else."

You smiled at that, but you remained silent, it was always nice talking to Jin. He was always honest. You lifted your head up to look at your best friend, a little hesitant to give a response, "Do you... Do you think I should..."

"You still got it?"

"Both of them. Always."

"Yeah. They still love you, I wasn't gonna tell you, but I'm pretty sure Yoongi was crying about it."

You stood up from your seat immediately, throwing a pillow at Jin, "You bafoon! You didn't think to fucking tell me?!"

"Ow! I still have a beer!" Jin defended in a protective, half-ninja pose to protect himself from more pillows, stretch his hand to keep his beer alive and unspilt on his leather couch. "Just remember that they need to apologize too, it's not all your fault. Go and see your mans'."

You didn't waste another moment. You throw your jacket over your shoulder and quickly grabbed the keys to your car, slipping on your shoes and racing to get into your car.

The apartment, thankfully, wasn't far, and you know the city of Seoul like the back of your hand so getting there wasn't an issue, it was more about emotionally preparing yourself.

It wasn't as if you thought about what you were gonna say, but hearing that one of your boyfriends who are always so strong broke down crying wasn't a 'think-first-act-later' moment. Jungkook, god, and Jungkook, you'd yet to figure out how he's been handling everything, but you know for Yoongi's sake, he'd try to be staying as strong for him as possible.

You'd gotten three texts from Jungkook in the last four days. One apology, a sticker, and an 'i love you', but your stubborn trait got the best of you. Now having a silent moment, you wish you'd responded.

"Hyung..?"

You didn't know what to say, but you were standing at the door of your apartment with Jungkook in front of you.

You could tell he was hoping for this, he just didn't know when.

He threw his arms around your shoulders, catching you off guard, but as soon as you'd regained your senses, you returned the embrace just as tight as he'd given it. He had his face buried into your shoulder, one hand in your hair trying to remember the feel he thought he'd forgotten, "I thought you were leaving us..." He whispered, holding back a sob.

"Jungkook, I'm so so sorry, I overreacted. I was being a jerk and–" You spewed, but was interrupted when your boyfriend shook his head.

"No, no– I'm sorry too, I thought we were doing the right thing and–" He accidently sniffled, a tear falling down his cheek, "–Ah, fuck... Jagi, I'm just so glad you're back."

You kissed Jungkook's cheek from where he was, bringing your hand up to cradle his head lovingly.

You'd do anything for Jungkook, hes your boyfriend and you love him so much.

You continued to embrace Jungkook, before speaking in a small whisper, "... Kookie, baby... Is Yoongs okay?"

Jungkook pulled away from the embrace slightly, but your hands were still on his waist. The younger wipes the tear stain on his cheek first, "He's had better days... A lot of better days."

"How bad?"

"Remember when Namjoon-hyung and him fought that one time?"

"Oh no."

"Yeah.. But this time it's more heartbreak than anger. I think you'll be fine."

You kissed Jungkook one more time, smiling at hin before hesitantly letting go to head towards Yoongi's room.

You made it three quarters of the way there, then saw the 'go away' mat in front of his door with the cat flipping the finger. It made you chuckle, knowing that then Yoongi had bought it despite the fact that nobody is allowed to walk into the house without socks.

Yoongi does things because something tells him it's the right thing to do. He doesn't act then think, he'll probably think for years and the finally act.

"Jagi..." You knocked gently on your boyfriend's door, "Yoon. It's me... Please open–"

Your request was filled before it was finished, the door swang open to reveal a rather teary Min Yoongi, and your heart didn't handle it well. But you probably didn't notice it well enough, because he threw his arms around your neck almost immediately after. He begun sobbing into your collar with his hands gripping the back of your shirt like you'd run away if he let go. He spoke through tears, "[Y/N], I'm so sorry, I didn't think about how you'd feel and," He sobbed, "But please, p-please don't leave again. I thought–"

"Shhh, baby, breathe for me," You said softly, kissing his forehead as a way to comfort him, before pulling away to look at your boyfriend, holding both of his hands in yours, "Yoongs, it's okay, I'm sorry too, and I know this is something we can work around because I love both of you so so much."

You motioned for Jungkook to come too, watching him walk over then holding his hands too.

It took only a second to exhale, but it seemed too long, "I love you two more than anything in this world. You're more important to me than my job, than my pet–"

Jungkook gasped, "Don't say that! Fluff is a beautiful pet!"

You laughed, and Yoongi didn't stop himself from giggling, but you continued, "Regardless, you two are the best thing that's ever happened to me, that I get to see your faces in the morning is a blessing enough." Jungkook was getting teary and Yoongi was holding back tears as much as he could, but you continued, "You're my heaven on earth. I want to be able to spend the rest of my life with you too."

You for down on one knee, Jungkook's eyes going wide and Yoongi's jaw unhinged to its full capacity. You pulled out the velvet box containing two identical rings, opening it carefully to reveal them.

"Min Yoongi and Jeon Jungkook. Will you steal my last name?"

[arimendoza]

to the anon who asked this: It’s loving cedric diggory hours in my brain so I’d love to read you venting your headcanons about him?? What do you think about his childhood and family and friends and what happened to them after (because Cursed Child isn’t canon)

tumblr deleted ur ask RIGHT as i posted it and im so sorry i hope u still see this bc i love it so much thank u for giving me an excuse to write about my favorite character :(((

i have a lot of feelings about cedric diggory

------------

it’s always been one of my biggest headcanons that cedric is a slytherin secondary

we see him as being kind. he is kind. and good. and brave. but he’s also ambitious, driven, resourceful. cedric diggory is a strong leader. but his determination is a double-edged sword, and his ambition can become ruthless:

"i thought you were gonna let it get me." / "for a second there i thought the same."

so kind, yet with this underlying, almost desperate self preservation and ambition that he might not even realize isn't his 

“he could have been anything.” but what does that mean? what did he want? or was he too busy thinking of what everyone else wanted?

because this is cedric diggory as we see him: composed, polite, the ideal and ultimate gentleman. intelligent, compassionate, reliable. powerful, intuitive, handsome. perfect.

but imagine, just imagine the intense pressure, the expectations, the constant delivery he feels he owes to people who perceive him as all those things, and then some.

this is largely because of how i see him growing up

amos diggory was nothing if not proud. so he did everything to transfer all that pride onto his only son:

private tutoring, gruelling flying lessons (all theory of course, though as soon as his father deemed him old enough, tested his natural instinct on a broom), and limited free time made for a clever boy, if not a lonely one

he didn’t see anyone outside of his immediate family much. they preferred to keep to themselves.

but he definitely saw all the other kids outside his bedroom window, laughing and playing and so free. sometimes he thinks about asking his dad if he could join them

but he can see the disappointed shake of the head, hear the “you were made for better things, my boy. greater things than playing pretend.”

and his mother, for all her kindness, he could never bring himself to ask. she never expressed direct expectations the way his father did. but cedric was clever. she didn’t have to say it out loud for him to know.

so he works. and perseveres. quietly and alone, until he goes to hogwarts

growing up, he wonders if perhaps playing pretend was all he was ever good at

he pretends his father is proud of him being sorted into hufflepuff

the letter he received was not scathing, but just had enough subtle disappointment in it that it crushed him.

he didn’t tell his father he was a hatstall. that he chose hufflepuff, in the end. in a way

“you’d do well in any house, you know. be anyone.” the hat had said

i just want to be myself. 

“oh my dear boy. you don’t even know who that is yet”

he pretends he wants to be a Seeker.

also a fairly popular headcanon, but i do think cedric was aware he was not made to be one because of how he’s built, but did it because “Seekers get all the glory, son. and it’s always worth the glory, isn’t it?”

he becomes Seeker. he’s praised for his fast swerves. he tells no one how much pain it gives him to execute them. he practices day and night anyway

he becomes captain. it should make him happy, and he is. it makes his dad proud too, but his shoulders sag just a little lower as another weight is placed on them

he pretends he doesn’t care for art (“it’s silly, son. there are better things, more practical things.”)

but cedric loves poetry, the abstract. it’s why his favorite and best subject is charms

he meets a ravenclaw boy who likes to write poetry as well. they bumped into each other in the library in what was both their ‘favorite spot’

he plays quidditch too, thinks he has a shot at captain

cedric diggory and roger davies became fast friends

two sides of the same coin, really. handsome, intelligent, athletic. but a bit lonely, reserved. their silence is taken for cockiness, sometimes

the main difference? roger doesn’t much care for other people’s opinions. it’s where he and cedric clash, where most of their arguments stem from. but they do help each other grow because of it

he pretends he doesn’t need friends, but makes them anyway

his father always stressed the importance of good connections, for networking and all that. and even from a young age it was clear that cedric was charming. a natural silver-tongue. he could probably make people fall at his feet, should he have wanted.

but as much as cedric cared about his own reputation, he never much cared for status, and always saw the good in others. or tried to, at least

so he and roger became close. roger introduced him to cho chang. she was pretty, also reserved, also liked quidditch. seeker

he also grew close to hecate oakham and bhavana patel from his house. hecate was often alone, in her own head. she gave cedric fresh perspective and listened, always. he did his best to do the same.

bhavana liked spending time in the greenhouse. it’s also one of cedric’s go-to places to think, clear his head.

his father thought he could perhaps do better. cedric thinks he’s struck gold.

cedric loved his friends so much, and he thought then that this is the closest he’s ever felt to understanding, and being understood

although he could never fully drop the facade in front of them, he let them see him at his worst: his disappointment, his anger (when cedric is angry, he doesn’t show it, preferring to repress and then possibly write it out later. but when he’s angry, he’s angry, piercing. ruthless and relentless, words coming out in passionate outbursts, as if the air was crackling around him from wild magic. people would have called it uncharacteristic of him, but did they ever really know him well enough to think so?)

still, he would say these were the best friends he’s ever had. the best time he’s ever had. he was happy

and then he meets harry, properly, and he’s both elated and so, so afraid. he pretends it doesn’t matter.

(he pretends he wasn’t absolutely hit with guilt after winning that one match. first, because he felt like he didn’t deserve it. second, because people think he didn’t deserve it. that on any other day, his hard work would never amount to anything next to natural talent. third, because even after all of this, a part of him was still glad he ended up catching the snitch)

(he pretends he didn’t ask to see harry when he was at the hospital wing after that disastrous match with the dementors either)

he pretends he’s fearless. that he wants to join the tournament

he’s already a prefect. quidditch captain, on the way to head boy. why not eternal glory? it’s worth it, isn’t it? everyone thinks he could do it. everyone thinks he could win. everyone thinks he should

“you don’t have to, ced.” roger says. 

“no, i do.”

he hopes the goblet doesn’t spew out his name. it does. he smiles, goes up. takes his place.

“good luck.” roger yells at him, concern in his eyes

he pretends he doesn’t know what their exchange really means

“dragons. that’s the first task.” i’m worried about you

“why are you telling me this?” worry about yourself, too

harry moves to leave. cedric pulls him back. harry stares at his hand. is this when you ask? 

“the badges. i’ve asked them not to wear them.” are you okay? i care about you.

“don’t worry about it.” i guess not. but thank you. 

he and cho pretend they want to go to the ball together

his father, of course, is elated. pretty, smart, athletic, from a good family.

she stares wistfully at hermione granger throughout the entire champions’ dance

cedric catches harry’s eye. it was like a million snitches were whizzing around in his stomach. not like how it was with roger, at first. this was so much stronger.

he pretends he tells harry about the egg only because it’s good sportsmanship. but harry is done pretending.

when cedric goes to congratulate him for tying for first place, harry kisses him

roger smiles knowingly when he he sees cedric at the library, absolutely beaming

but there was still that part of cedric, that voice in his head that tells him he’ll ruin it, that he doesn’t deserve it. it asks him, worst of all, will you still be happy, even with your father’s disappointment? 

so when does cedric diggory not pretend?

when he writes, and shares his writing with his friends

when he laughs so hard he snorts

when he’s flying. not for quidditch, but for fun

when he kisses harry back

when he says ‘together.’

when he tells harry to stay back

(he pretends he was ready to die)

so this is cedric diggory as we deserve to have known him: flawed and good. imperfect and kind. conflicted and brave

he could have been anything, but we didn’t see him live long enough for even him to figure out what it was he really wanted to be, who he wanted to be. 

the only comfort we have is, in his final weeks, those final moments, he could tell himself he was finally, finally proud of the person he was becoming 

he hopes history will think the same

BONUS:

roger, cho, hecate, bhavana, and of course harry mourned him. quietly, but together

roger

his first real friend. his best friend. he saw cedric the most, physically and emotionally. he thought maybe one day he’d get to see all of him, his flaws and his grievances and his silliness. he’d like to think so. he will never know, now.

people thought he’d honor cedric through quidditch, or something of the sort.

he wrote instead. he wrote for himself, for cedric. eternalized through writing.

every year he’d write something for cedric’s birthday, go to his grave and read it out to him

he’s scared of the day he runs out of memories. wishes they could still make more.

but as he tells cedric of his life now, his hardships and his triumphs and how much he misses him, he thinks he’s doing his best.

in this own, sad way, cedric is still with him. this is how they will make memories.

cho

cho cries, has a hard time sleeping. dark circles, bloodshot eyes, his death affects her the most physically.  she ignores the whispers, the confused stares at her emotional turmoil. but she has always been confident with her feelings, saw no shame in expressing them.

her performance falls in quidditch.

she remembers Seeking matches with him and later with harry, the way they’d laugh and how bright cedric’s smile had been

flying hadn’t been the same since. she hopes one day it will be.

next to roger, she visits cedric the most.

hecate

no one besides their circle of friends knew it, but cedric diggory was clumsy

she remembers the way he bumped into her when he was walking through the grounds, realizing he tripped over his robe

sorry he had said. i was lost in thought 

he looked like he had a lot on his mind then, as if he expected her to laugh at him.

funny, she had replied. i’m quite the same. are you headed to the lake?

and she remembers them sitting there. in comfortable silence, in easy conversation.

now she sits alone, cries silent tears, watches them run and spill and imagines them to merge with the lake

bhavana

cedric was knowledgeable about plants, but his skill at taking care of them was...questionable

she caught him, in the greenhouse, monologuing to himself

she remembered him stopping abruptly, coughing shyly. but she only laughed, said your secret’s safe with me

so she plants in memory of him, watches them grow and bloom the way he never can, now, treats them with the utmost care she wishes others had with him

harry

harry stays angry for a long time

the nightmares come every night, except this time, he doesn’t wake up in cedric’s arms

he couldn’t bring himself to visit his grave. not yet. he doesn’t know when yet, or if he ever could.

cedric diggory is harry’s first real loss.

he could have saved him. if he had never let cedric take the cup, if he had recognized the place faster, if he just got cedric to not move forward for the sake of his protection. 

this was harry’s new everyday, the what ifs running through his mind at every waking moment. and sometimes he hears a laugh, sees the way someone’s smile is crooked, a snippet of a song and everything is familiar and foreign and he aches and aches. and his heart breaks a little more

and it wasn’t love, not yet. but harry remembers the way they looked at each other, the way they smiled and laughed and played and kissed and were

it could have been love, and harry wonders if he’ll ever feel that way again

so he forms the DA, in cedric’s memory. meets with roger and cho and hecate and bhavana. they all stare at cedric’s picture in the room. haunted

and harry strives to do better. to be better.

(“who’s cedric? your boyfriend?” he was)

amos diggory mourned loudly. part of him resented harry, but only because the other part of him couldn’t help but think all of this was his fault, and his fault alone

if he pressured his son a little less, let him live as he wanted, and love as he wanted

if he spent more time with cedric

if he said the words “i love you” more often, told him “i am proud of you, always.”

 but he tells himself cedric must know. cedric had to have known

he doesn’t speak to cedric’s friends. tries to forget about harry potter

a hollow shell of a man, mourning for a son he never really knew.

he hopes history will treat cedric kinder than he ever did.

[insert-some-nice-emo-pun]

this is about the lynz drama

i didnt wanna write this post

when this shit first started i told myself im not gonna say anything about it cause a)i hate drama in any form and b)no one cares about my opinion

but today i got so fed up with everything ive seen on twitter that here we are

im just gonna kind of explain what happened and share my opinion i guess? and feel free to share yours in the comments as long as you respect other people

so everything pretty much started when someone asked lynz about people accusing jimmy urine of sexual assault

(first of all why would they ask lynz?like i know theyre in the same band but still shes not responsible for his actions)

her responese mightve indeed seem strange, like she was defending herself tho nobody attacked her and it overall felt kinda off

then the whole argument started (most of the tweets are deleted now so its kinda hard to find out what exactly happened)

so first thing im gonna adress is how everyone seems to be "cancelling" her for saying you shouldnt believe victims, but what i understood after reading all of her tweets was that she said always believe victims unless you know theyre a manipulative liar and i think theres actually nothing wrong with saying this? please correct me if you think im wrong but i dont really find this problematic (the tweets are at the end of the post!)

i know that the first tweet, the only one that isnt deleted seems really off and she defo couldve answer better and you can critize her for this but i think she thought the person who asked her was reffering to smth jessicka said which kind of explains everything

jessicka has been saying messed up things about lynz for years, so i think we can understand why she reacted in this way

now why dont i believe anything jessicka says?

because she always talks how she has "a proof" that lynz said/did smth but she never actually shows that proof

even now, when lynz mentioned her in one of her tweets she responded yelling about the proof but didnt actually say anything new

one thing ive learned while being in different fandoms and stuff is never believe that someone said/did something unless you have a video of them doing so or they confirmed it on their offcial account on social media

if she really had the proof, why dont just show it to people?

now the second big thing that happened was the whole family thing

people have been talking about her family situation for years (im more of a new fan so i wasnt here back then so please correct me if i make a mistake here or anywhere in the post)

what we knew before is that she cut off her mother and sister - she didnt want to talk to them nor send them money

her sister claimed it was because they arent rich or famous

now scroll all the way down again to see the tweets

her mum and sis recorded a video responding to this

now this is totally subjective opinion of mine, but i got really bad impression from watching their vid and things they said later on twitter (search for amy greene on twitter, youll find everything there)

now you can believe me or not, but i have experience with this kind of family situations

my opinion on the subject is that when it comes to family problems no ones really innocent but sometimes things get so messed up that you shouldnt really judge people based on that

we basically get two sides of the story, and i believe that both of them probably got some things right, but im gonna stay on lynzs side

i 100% understand cutting off fanily memebrs, even as close as your mother and after watching this video i felt really sorry for lynz (again its just my opinion, but the things they both said about lynz reminded me so much of the situation from my family)

ive seen a lot of people bringing up that they said nice things about gerard, so they must be telling the truth because if they wanted fame theyd go after him instead or smth like this

i disagree with this opinion because its once again a behavior i know

noone said anything about gerard before

the whole thing was only about lynz

so why would they even bring him up?

well imo if their intentions were clear they wouldnt say anything about him at all, because what for?

if they said anything bad about about him all of the fans would attack them, get mad, and maybe not believe the rest of their story, so it was in their interest not to talk shit about him

but why did they say nice things? (ITS JUST MY OPINION PLEASE IM NOT SAYING I KNOW IT) 90% of people who would watch the video are mcr fans. and what is the best way to gain someones trust? be nice to them. say nice things about their idols, interests etc, its a known trick and its really manipulative. again i dont want to accuse them but it just seemed really off to me, and it also makes lynz look even worse, like if theyre trying to say that everyone here is nice and shes the only bad person around (yet again something i know really well)

so in my opinion they only talked about g to have mcr fans take their side and if its true its really manipulative but its just my opinion and i totally understand if you dont agree with me because i have no proof for this

i think this post is coming to an end so i want to say that i believe lynz is a good person

not a saint, not perfect, but not someone we should cancel or hate on

you have a right to dislike her, i understand and respect it, same with everything i said here - i accept that you disagree, you can write me a comment about it, just please dont spread hate

i hate going on twitter and seeing all of this drama

i havent been following her for a long time, i wouldnt even call myself her fan, but ive always seen her being really nice to fans on twitter and interacting with people a lot, well ive heard people talking about her being mean to fans in the past but i couldnt really find any concrete proof (video of that happening, im sorry but i really dont believe in posts from fan accounts from years ago)but im not saying it never happened, if you have a video feel free to send it to me

i doubt anybody read all of this, but thank you anyway

also here are the screenshots i could find

feel compeltely free to share your opinion in the comments, i sure will read it but im done with this whole drama

i just needed to get this off my chest after seeing all these people going crazy on twitter, im sorry if some parts dont make sense or have any kinds of mistakes, english isnt my first language and its also really late now

[eightysixed]

snapped

It was lunch break when he got the notification, at first going unnoticed because he was sitting outside with Duncan and Krista in their usual spot. The sun beat down on the three of them as they ate the wraps Krista got for them from the 7-Eleven, that and the lemonade. He tuned out of the conversation at hand, some plans Kirsta was making for Bonnaroo or something, to check on his phone.

[ 1! new snapchat ]

As he unlocked  his phone, he shielded it in view from the other two. Being a snap from Gaby, he was probably wise to do that. But it was unlike their usual snaps. Sat in the backseat of a car, she was strapped in next to two other girls. The bar caption underneath it: road trip with the bestiesss.

Confusion was the first emotion, wondering if she’d sent it to him by accident. It was set as her story too, once he pulled out of their chat and noticed as much. He contemplated not answering anything at all, but that would be rude. Then again, she had been rude. Torn this way for a couple of seconds, he settled for sending a chat her way instead.

tyson hey gaby🍒 haha hiiii tyson what up gaby🍒 not much u? tyson work lol gaby🍒 oh right haha tyson yeah

It was fucking weird, this. He wanted to say as much. But what else could he really say that hadn’t already been said? There was nothing else. Months ago, she told him to meet at Carousel. It started out friendly with drinks, and then turned ugly. A perfect storm of the worst proportions, him telling her that he was basically seeing someone now and her saying that she wanted more than 3am booty calls and nothing else. She presented her case, how she thought they really could be something, if he only gave them a chance — hell, he was almost convinced for a second. But no more than that second. He stuck to it, she got upset, she stormed out. Now, he just wanted to ask her what the fuck all this was, but how to do that without coming off hostile? A task.

gaby🍒 just saying hiii is all tyson kinda weird but cool lol gaby🍒 what i can’t say i miss u? damn :( tyson kinda weird after how u left yeah but nah it’s cool ig gaby🍒 i was jk chill 😛

Tyson wondered if he read that right. Why were girls like this, he wondered. You could never get anywhere half the time with them because you never knew what the fuck they meant. Life would be so much better if they just said what they thought and meant it, but of course, that’s not how things went in life. It never went like that in life. Playing games, they all liked to play games. 

He left Gaby on read and pulled out to the main screen of his snapchat (handle: bonghitter). Unopened items there were plenty, a video, and messages from two other girls. For a brief second, he contemplated deleting the app entirely, before that notion slipped from his mind again with Duncan grabbing his attention. He put his phone away and went back to lunch.

***

Later that night, somewhere in between hallucinating an earthquake in his and Tierney’s living room (he was completely sober, so that wasn’t a factor), and picking up an unidentified number that didn’t answer down the other line, Tyson found his evening going funny. Almost like he’d stepped into an alternate dimension. He wasn’t on any of Sulley’s edibles though, so what was going on? Maybe this was that psychosis that was setting in that Jude had warned him about (though he can’t remember why Jude had told him it would, they hadn’t been sober then). If it wasn’t an earthquake that had shaken the floor just now, what could it be? Did some fatty whale of a person fall directly outside their door, making the ground shake? A possibility. Oasis’ infrastructure wasn’t the strongest.

Then he got a new snapchat notification. 

From her. Again.

He braced himself for the worst, opening it, and surely, there it was. A half-clad Gaby in mirror view, the usual ‘hey’ postscripted by that unholy black bar that was strategically covering up places that normally, he’d want uncovered. It was clearly some hotel or motel room, and he could probably guess the next that would follow, if encouraged. But all he felt was a faint wave of disappointment. Nothing else. Old Tyson would’ve sent her a ‘where’s the rest’ message, no questions asked, but not this one. He was angry and not sure how well he downplayed it, maybe not well at all.

tyson ?? gaby🍒 what? haha tyson why u actin like this gaby🍒 like what?

Tyson mumbled an expletive under his breath. He was an argumentative person, sure, he loved to debate, talk until the cows come home about the right subject. But this was his least favourite type of confrontation, and he’d rather be doing anything but this, literally anything.

tyson you were the one who said okay we’re done u stormed out the bar u did that remember? lol gaby🍒 ohhhhh that look i wasn’t in a good place then okay? i’m sorry :(

Tyson said nothing, a sigh escaping his lips. Starting to get angry now and not even sure why. He’d always had it good with this girl, but outside of whatever they did in bed (or on a couch, or in the shower), there was nothing. And he wasn’t exactly interested in anything she had to offer right now. Or anytime in the future. It was borderline ridiculous to think or believe, and Dom would probably ask him if he was okay and not sick, but there it was. He thought of the right thing to respond, but before he even could, she sent through something else. A Bitmoji. Hers hugging his. 

tyson okay apology accepted but nothing’s changed with me meant what i said then still stands now gaby🍒 you’re still seeing someone? tyson yea gaby🍒 oh okay just thought something changed my friend saw u tyson where? gaby🍒 at santa monica on the pier u were with some girl tyson jfc that’s my best friend’s babymama she came w/her kid to see him gabriela i’m tired i’m seeing someone rly can’t do this gaby🍒 okay tyson have a good night

The last reply back took the longest time coming through, but when it finally did, there was no more. Relief. Was he off the hook? Was this it? He waited for more to come, but it didn’t. Maybe he was off the hook. Maybe she’d come around again in 3 months. Or 6 months. Or a year, who knows. Maybe she’d find someone and stop snapping him. He hoped she would. As he was thinking these things, maybe five maybe ten minutes having passed, he got a new notification. 

gaby🍒 my friends say you suck btw tyson LOL okay

Now this was funny. Though still a little infuriating, he thought as his brows pulled together in both confusion and dismay. Girls, when would they learn that no meant no? He was about to all but toss his phone aside, leave it on the bed to go back into the living room, when one more came in. 

gaby🍒 sorry im a lil drunk...

Now that he would leave on read, and hopefully there would be no more, and that would be the end of that. She really wasn’t a bad person, Gabriela, deep down he liked her. As a person. But it ended there. He was about to go through with his toss-the-phone plan and shuffle into the kitchen to see if a bag of takeout had magically materialized on the counter, be done with this chapter for good, when he got a new notification. With dread he glanced to the top of the screen, but a smile picked up on the corners of his lips when he saw who it was from.

Jude: holy shit dude you need to check this out… [ http://absoluteepicpranks.com/monkey-flaming-motorcycle.htm ]

[in-a-cave-with]

What are your favorite fanfictions based in any of the Marvel comics universes?

ok this is certainly a . question. lmao . so i..have bookmarked like Three 616 fic on my actual ao3 account and i honestly dont know why. i have read so much 616 fic but i never bothered to make it a habit to .. save them . so rip me. this will be an incomplete list! huge f in the chat lads

there’s also the issue of like. pretty much all of the comics fic i like being, uh, stevetony. im a loser.

anyway.

When The Lights Go On Again by elspethdixon, seanchaiSummary: Aliens have invaded earth, and the Avengers are scattered. While Steve leads the resistance, Tony once again finds himself playing captive scientist. In the midst of a violent alien regime, separated by seemingly insurmountable boundaries, Steve and Tony have nothing to keep themselves going but each other.rec note: i JUST read this fic and it ruined my life. go read it and ruin your life too

Resurrection, Reconstruction & Redemption by elspethdixon, seanchaiSummary: Doom brings Steve back from the dead. Hijinks ensue, some of which might vaugely be considered plot.rec note: a classic! i think this was the first stevetony fic posted to ao3? you should def go ahead and read the rest of the series (yes it is a series yes it is 300k+ words yes it is worth it)

The Roughest Day by elspethdixon, seanchaiSummary: Steve is in a motorcycle accident, Tony catches a cold, and someone is after the New Avengers.rec note: this gives me warm fuzzies because it’s the new avengers avenging and there isn’t enough of that

King of Infinite Space by elspethdixon, seanchaiSummary: A villain from Tony’s past comes back to cause trouble for the Avengers. Maybe it wouldn’t have been so easy, if things weren’t already so awkward over the events of Execute Program.rec note: it’s not a tony stan created reclist if there isn’t a tiberius stone fic somewhere on it

Winter Is All Over You by KiyaarSummary: Tony can’t remember why he’s running.rec note: *soft wheezing noises* oh,

My Mallory Heart [Add Violence Remix] by KiyaarSummary: He keeps seeing that bundle of metal set into Tony’s bare chest, the raw edges around it like Tony’s body was rejecting it. Keeps wondering: what have you done to yourself this time.rec note: *incoherent blubbering*

Sea Stars by MuccamukkSummary: Steve comes back to life somewhere entirely unexpected; Tony doesn’t remember being a hero; something is rotten in the province of British Columbia, and the 2010 Olympics are doomed.rec note: i LIVE for this fic it’s so good. the setting…the mystery…the characterization…top notch

Indelible by PenumbrenSummary: When an experiment goes awry, Tony thinks he may have found an answer to his problems and Steve faces something he’s been avoiding for a very long time.rec note: this turned out to be way sadder than i thought it was going to be

(Not So) Lonely At The Top by foldingcranesSummary: Riri has a bad day, and Tony tries to be An Emotionally Available Adult for her. It doesn’t go so bad.rec note: there isn’t enough riri fic out there…

if you leave by CapnShellheadSummary: After so many months passing each other in silence, Steve and Tony find a marriage counselor to try to work through their issues with communication.rec note: warning: fic is akin to a bat swung to the knees

Marvels: The Bloodstone Odyssey by teaberryblueSummary: The year is 1940. In the middle of the Blitz, Tony Stark and Pepper Potts set out to London to recover Howard Stark’s lost work. But it turns out that they’re not the only ones hunting for it. Tony finds himself contending with Nazis, crooks, and perhaps his most formidable adversary yet: a scrawny, asthmatic, bullheaded kid named Steve Rogers.rec note: this gives me huge indiana jones vibes and it’s GREAT

Emanata (The Comics Will Break Your Heart Remix) by teaberryblueSummary: Steve Rogers has the opportunity to fulfill his childhood dreams of becoming a comic artist when eccentric billionaire, superhero patron, and obsessive comic enthusiast Tony Stark offers him a job drawing Iron Man. But Tony Stark has no idea that Steve Rogers is really Captain America, the newest member of the Avengers. And Iron Man has no idea that Captain America is really Steve Rogers, up-and-coming comic book artist. And Steve doesn’t know what to do about the fact that he’s falling head over heels for them both.rec note: this one has a special place in my heart bc it’s the one that got me into 616 stevetony! the identity shenanigans make my head hurt and i love it

Genesis by teaberryblueSummary: Reluctant to make the truth about their secret weapon known, the American Government tells the world that Captain America is a man named Steve Rogers. According to public record, he died, tragically, in 1945, and he became legend. In 1998, the Avengers find a body trapped in ice. She’s alive. Her name is Eve. She has Captain America’s shield.rec note: i think this is the..only steve centric fic here lmao . and also technically this is a mix of 616/mcu/ults but i’m still putting it here bc it’s…very good

Highest fall you’ll ever grace by laireshiSummary: “You’ll probably want these back,” Tony says at last, and it hurts almost physically to pull the dog tags over his head and offer them to Steve. But they never really belonged to Tony, did they? Steve seems to hesitate for a second, but then he takes his dog tags with a weird expression. “Yeah,” he says. “They’re mine.”rec note: *clutches heart* hhhh

Transmission by laireshiSummary: The incursions are stopped. Steve hopes for things to go back to normal. Instead, he finds himself stranded in an alternate universe with Tony. Getting home won’t be easy. There are too many things they haven’t told each other, too many arguments they’ve never solved. Now, with just each other for company, they might have to face them all—especially as they seem to be telepathically bonded, and can’t keep anything unsaid anymore.rec note: oh boy am i a sucker for Stevetony Finding Out About The Confession

Chasing Shadows by laireshiSummary: Steve is still adjusting to the future. Tony hopes he is helping, but Steve’s and Iron Man’s morals might be too different for them to work together. Then Steve starts to act strangely, and all Tony can do is chase at shadows.rec note: this fic hurt me . that’s it that’s all i have to say

The Counselors Are In by cptxrogersSummary: Steve and Tony from Avengers Assemble open a counseling service for all the other Steves and Tonys from across the multiverse. God knows they need it.rec note: come on Other Universes GET IT TOGETHER

Think of This as Solving Problems (That Should Never Have Occurred) by SinealaSummary: No one knows Tony is Iron Man. Then Tony gets amnesia, and literally no one knows Tony is Iron Man.rec note: ok here comes the sineala spam in the reclist lmao

The Jar by SinealaSummary: The Avengers are ridiculously competitive people, and what starts out as a silly late-night team discussion quickly becomes a contest: their names. Not the code names – the nicknames. Who can go the longest without using them? They pledge to spend a week not nicknaming each other, and they’ll pay up every time they mess up. This hits Tony the hardest, and not just financially. Tony’s got a lot of nicknames for everyone, but most of all for Steve – and when Tony can’t use the names he’s already got, the names he uses reveal feelings he had no idea he had.rec note: super cute! lov those funky avenging dudes

Changeling by SinealaSummary: Instead of deleting his entire brain and reloading from a backup, Tony attempts to erase just the SHRA database from his mind. As Steve later finds out, this is unfortunately not what he actually did.rec note: *ugly sobbing* ttngngjfgnTONY ,.,,,,CAROLLLLL ,,FDF..,,KSDJBVSD ,,,S T E V E..,,,, FVKJD,,,,SFDJKDNFVNKDJFD

If You Want to Live (The Historical Present Remix) by SinealaSummary: The Civil War is over. The SHRA is gone. Steve has been brought back to life. He’s settling into his new duties as America’s top cop. His longtime friendship with Carol Danvers – Avenger, former director of SHIELD, and former leader of the pro-Registration forces – is now a tenuous one. But something is very wrong in the world. This isn’t how it was supposed to be. Someone is missing. Tony Stark was killed at the age of seventeen, and it’s up to Steve to travel into the past to save a man he doesn’t remember from a man he knows all too well: a mysterious assassin from another time and place, a man with a metal arm. And the truth is more complicated than anyone could ever have guessed.rec note: super interesting fic! the Plot is,,……. some güd shit

Straight on till Morning by SinealaSummary: Tony Stark resigned his commission in Starfleet five years ago, after a disastrous away mission, and he swore he’d never go back. He just wants to be left alone to build warp engines in peace. But the universe has more in store for him than that, as he discovers when Admiral Fury comes to him with an offer he could never have expected and cannot possibly refuse: first officer and chief engineer aboard the all-new USS Avenger, a starship of Tony’s own design. What’s more, the Avenger’s captain is Steve Rogers, hero of the Earth-Romulan War. Believed dead for over a century, Steve is miraculously alive… and very, very attractive. But nothing is ever easy for Tony. As he wrestles with his secret desire for his new captain and his not-so-dormant fears, another mission starts to go wrong, and Tony becomes aware that Steve has secrets of his own – and the truth could change everything.rec note: ok there is, like, really weird porn in this fic but it’s a STAR TREK CROSSOVER and that’s all that really matters. and also it’s very heartfelt and the action is  r e a l l y   i n t e n s e

Your Name on Every Wall by SinealaSummary: The Time Gem throws Steve into the past rather than the future, and in doing so, it gives him the opportunity to undo his past mistakes. But when it turns out that all of his mistakes involve Tony Stark, Steve begins to wonder if he’s ever going to be able to mend things between them.rec note: wow…….stevetony…….. am i right boys?

Get Some Now by SinealaSummary: Avengers Mansion has a mysterious feline infestation. Meanwhile, Steve just can’t figure out how to ask Tony out on a date. And the thirteen teleporting cats sure aren’t helping matters any.rec note: as you all may know. i am an active member of the “tony…..but give him a cat” movement and this fic brings me great joy

Sucker Punch by Sineala Summary: Steve never quite warms to Tony Stark, Avengers benefactor. The Molecule Man never strips Iron Man out of his armor. Life goes on for the Avengers, but as disagreements split the team – and Shellhead and Winghead – again and again, Steve wonders why Iron Man always picks Tony over him. And when Steve finds out, it happens in the worst way possible.rec note: and here is a fic that does NOT bring me great joy and instead goes out of its way to hurt me in every way it can

Tony Stark Advises The Avengers by copperbadgeSummary: Somehow, Tony Stark ended up Team Dad.rec note: ANAD AVENGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Zero Sum by CraitSummary: Did you do your best, Anthony? And did your best only make things worse?rec note: let ao3 user crait write marvel comics, they clearly understand tony’s character better than anyone who’s written him in the past 10 years

[pnwswiftie]

I felt owned by an employer once. He was sexist and baited me into working for him only to turn the tables and gaslight me. And to be honest I’ve never pin pointed the feeling that has sat in my gut about him until recently; until watching my idol go through the same thing on a large scale in front of the world, until what has happened, what has been happening to Taylor Swift in her industry.

Mine was a veterinary surgeon whom I worked with in the past. I left the veterinary field and started a new career. The Vet (we will call him) moved away and when he came back he contacted me with a new idea to start his own practice.

He painted me a beautiful picture of what this clinic would be like. He said he couldn’t do it without me and promised me the world. I still remember the phone call where he said the words- “you will be my practice manager, my right hand, you could run the show and have a handsome career, I’ll make sure you are set for life, you will have an opportunity to buy into the company as well, to profit share.

He offered to pay me whatever my current job paid me. I didn’t jump at saying yes. I worked so hard to be where I was and this was a big risk. My now husband was hesitant and didn’t trust him 🚩 but supportive of whatever I chose (love him). Well, im the only one of me so a month later I took the jump and put in my notice. I trusted him.

I was hired on with one other person. A male, roughly my same age, overall a nice dude. We will call him Sam. I was in charge of all operations of the front desk and all aspects of the business side of things. I started every excel sheet for income tracking, taxes, inventory. I created every document, I created the scheduling program, I set up every vendor accounts. I scanned every piece of paper that came into the clinic doors, I set up our benefits. I answered phones I handled every single client. I visited clinics and preached to people our vision, so they would refer to us (we were a referral based clinic) on my days off. I did it ALL. I also scrubbed into surgery with the Vet and Sam, as there were only 3 of us running the entire show. If the phone rang, I would answer on a headset under my face mask and handle a client or clinic call right there, scrubbed in. I didn’t mind, I felt proud to show off my multitasking skills. He would give a little wink and a joke and the validation felt nice, like I earned his approval 🚩 when I did something above and beyond.

About a year went by and I was rolling in hard earned money, that’s for sure. I was working 7 am to 10 pm some days so I always had overtime. Sam was responsible for 1 thing- patient care, and I was responsible for LITERALLY everything else you could possibly think of. 🚩Needless to say I was getting worked to the BONE 🚩 . I was cool with it tho, this is what I signed up for right? We were growing and successful and getting BUSY!

One day I accidentally found out the pay gap 🚩between myself and Sam. I had been completely naive to the fact that we were not equals, nor was I getting paid “management” but that he made SUBSTANTIALLY more than me. I gave it some energy for a couple days and vented to my husband, then I let it go. Sam was nice, it’s not his fault. 🚩Maybe he’s just worth more than I am to the company, I told myself. 🚩Maybe he has a past history I didn’t know about that made him more valuable. It definitely should have been my red flag 🚩

My relationship with the Vet was kind of like a daughter and father but 🚩 only on his terms. Fun and playful and lots of “your our boss lady!”. It would also take very odd turns, 🚩 having to do small tasks outside my morals. In the office he would call me “the office manager, the boss, it’s all up to you, hospital administrator!” yet on the phone would call me 🚩 “the front desk person” 🚩“my receptionist” to other veterinarians. It bothered me, a lot, but I pushed it away. 🚩Who am I to be that nit picky over a title? 🚩He probably didn’t mean it or misspoke, I thought.

The tricky part is that I only have little under the radar examples of his abuse. 🚩 The ones you can’t QUITE put your finger on, that you can’t QUITE justify quitting on the spot but make you feel 🚩 worthless. They continued every day. He was incredibly sweet and funny, and then 🚩condescending and cruel. It was a roller coaster to try to please him constantly. It wore on me. I came to work and to deal with it I would make lists on scratch paper. Lists of why I was starting to hate my job. Lists that I would read in the car and cry. If I wasn’t cheerful he’d come in with 🚩“PMSING TODAY?” .... I’d laugh n bite my tongue. 🚩 That’s just being friendly playful right, he knows me well enough to say that to me, we’re like family, right? But every day I felt awful. And I needed my job now, more than ever. 🚩 He knew I needed this job, too. We had just put an offer on a house and surprise! we’re now expecting a baby.

Being pregnant changed things. I couldn’t assist in surgery and xrays like I used to. 🚩He would scoff when I would have to leave for prenatal appointments. 🚩 He would be caring and kind one minute, giving me hand me down baby clothes and gifts, and then cold and dry the next. 🚩Sam could and often would sleep in and no call/no show. He would roll in at noon and jump into surgery, acting like nothing happened, they’d joke together about women in front of me and being hung over. I was 5 min late once because of a traffic jam and had to have a “sit down meeting” about attendance. 🚩 I felt so ASHAMED and EMBARRASSED. 🚩 I had never once, NOT EVER, had work problems, attendance problems, behavioral problems, in my entire history of working. This job was my LIFE. 🚩 Was something seriously wrong with me???

The last straw came when I was 6 months pregnant. He claimed that everyone was having a private “check in meeting”. He told me at mine that 🚩him and Sam talked 🚩 and agreed that I’m not the happy bubbly girl I used to be. I sat with him in the shade of a big oak tree in the grass that has since fallen in a wind storm (ironically. He said I would be getting a $1 raise and that he wanted me to take on MORE responsibility since I could no longer assist in surgery and listed basically anything he could possibly think of to tack on to my job to make up for that $1. 🚩 all I could think was... how???? I was already drowning. I finally got courage this time and said NO. My lip quivered and tears ran down my face with 🚩 stress. I brought up valid arguments but looking back I wish my voice wasnt so timid. Or that I had the courage to call out just one, ONE instance of his inappropriate behavior. But lastly, 🚩 I asked why is my title “FRONT DESK PERSON” when Sam is now “Lead Surgery Operations Director (Who Does No Wrong)??

His response sticks with me to this day. It was painful and degrading and I will never forget it. After working my ass off and building this place from the bottom, the long nights and everything I gave them... I also will never forget his 🚩 smirk . “Well you see, giving you a title like that would be like rewarding a BAD DOG with a BONE” 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

🚩I was devastated. 🚩And confused. 🚩I’m a BAD DOG???

I stuck it out for the remainder of my pregnancy, working the 12 hour days up until I went into labor at work. I trained a new girl on every process, excel spread, schedule I had developed and created. I put on a fake smile and wrote my scratch lists and re-read my lists on the way home and cried. I couldn’t just quit. I couldn’t let my family down.

We had our baby and stared at his tiny toes and fingers and cried every single day that I may have to go back to my hell job. I interviewed for different clinics while on leave. I was desperate. The vet was on a sweet streak- 🚩 sending us gifts, having his wife cook us meals and checking in on us all the time. He frequently asked what date I was coming back. He informed me that when I came back I would need to take the later shift and give the new girl my current shift. 🚩She needed it, he said. He said we could discuss the title of “lead receptionist” now and could 🚩 continue to work towards my goal of hospital manager. 🚩 I accepted but I felt sick. 🚩 I felt like I had to go back to work for someone who I couldn’t trust. I felt like he owned me in the worst possible way. (At one time he even tried to tell me I had half of the PTO that I actually had saved up for maternity leave, another 🚩🚩🚩 but I saved my paystubs as PROOF)

Today I work for the clinic that we shared the building with. When they heard I left they immediately offered me a position. The Vet left to purchase his own facility. He acted shocked and surprised and in disbelief that I wasn’t returning. At first it was tough, not gonna lie. We literally ate noodles for a year because I went down to part time. But the bravest thing I ever did was RUN ♥️ I now LOVE my job and they treat their employees wonderfully and equally and have real life morals.

I actually didn’t intend for this to be a novel LOL but even if not a single soul reads this, it’s therapeutic for me to actually get my thoughts down after almost 6 years now. My advice is to ALWAYS trust your gut. TRUST THE 🚩 RED 🚩 FLAGS. Don’t let anyone make you question your character. Never EVER ACCEPT being controlled and manipulated against your morals. Choose the future over time spent in the past (thanks T @taylorswift) and work somewhere that respects you. That pays you FAIRLY. Don’t be afraid to TELL your story too because this has to STOP (I’ve almost deleted this whole thing 13x) If it happened to me I can’t imagine how many other women it happens to. Anyway if you read this then holy shit here’s a hug and CHIN UP YOU ARE WORTHY, YOU ARE NOT A BAD DOG. ♥️