#im planning on writing a character from that series so

[torchstelechos]

I do think its really important to remember that SY was suppose to be the villain character but its only because of his kindness and newly gained life that he didn’t end as one. In the very beginning of the story we learn that Peerless Cucumber Bro often left comments on how SJ didn’t get his dues and needed to be punished more, and only after he transmigrated did he acknowledge how awful of a death SJ had. He also made point to explain that he only read the book for LBH, which he noted to enjoy his decisive actions and deft ability to kill. Markedly, he liked his brutality and personality over the erotica that the majority of PIDW fans enjoyed. Peerless Cucumber Bro is someone who loves action and the ability to cut right to the chase, something that he does not do and most likely has difficulty with in his world.

Speaking of, it is something to note that Peerless Cucumber bro is rich. He had head chefs, he could pay for a 6k+ chapter book of erotica in 20 days, he noted that he could not understand SJs envy and ambition for power since he lives well, and he even noted to himself that his family was well off. He is incredibly wealthy, and it shows. Which is important to note because he, not once, showed any guilt or remorse on dying and leaving his family behind. Yes, he sometimes refers to people as being similar to his family but he never showed any pain for losing that life like he did when he lost LBH. This is important because I genuinely think SY was depressed and self destructive to himself, which goes against popular HC that he was chronically/terminally ill (I do like this HC and like how its portrayed in fanfiction). It would explain how he ended up dying all alone by himself, and how blase he was to his own life and death.

SQQ is a self destructive force who ended up dying three times, and didn’t feel anything about death itself. He was worried about others and the effect it had on them, but for himself it was up and on again like it never happened. He does not care for his health, had self isolated as SY to the point he died alone, and has a horrible self esteem to the point that he continuously agrees when other people put him down and often calls himself the villain. Even though we have seen the evidence of someone who is always being thrust into new situations and awful plots, he calls himself lazy and easy going. He hides his thoughts and feelings behind his fan and has a remarkably thin face. At the very base of his actions and his thoughts, he is self destructive, powerful, and smart. This is the set up for a villain.

However, when shown the actual people in front of him and forced to act as SJ did towards LBH and his disciples, he flinches from it. He notes that it happening in front of him was different. His entire self soothing comedy monologue went quiet when he had to enforce the Endless Abyss scene, and grieved for the childish innocence he killed from one of his favourite people. SY was set up to be the villain and obviously thinks of himself as one, but can not act as one. If he had the choice LBH would have been his sticky sweet white lotus disciple for as long as LBH wished to be.

His kindness, as seen in the book, is what turned him from being “the scumbag villain” to the protagonist we see in the novels. Which, yes, he is a protagonist! He even has the protag halo that LBH has and its very funny in the meta way for SQQ not to realize this, but thats for another post. But he loves his disciples, he loves his peak lord siblings, he loves his Binghe, he loves his new life, and he is kind. That is what kept him from being the villain he sees himself as, his kindness and love for others. Whether that be romantic, platonic, or familial, he loves the people he has met and he treats them kindly. That is why it is important to remember that he was set up as the villain by everything in the story we do not see, but what we do see is him continuously changing the story to fit a new genre that lets as many people as he can save live. Sorry sorry, I just think about SY being set up as a villain so much. It changes a lot of views I have on the series when I remember the duality of SYs story and character development.

[caitlynmeow]

ugh gonna try to conjure my dimitrescu hyperfixation back by watching some videos and hoping for the best

[eikichi-supremacy]

hey so do you think wtv keiko had to deal with growing up with yusuke could be considered a type of parentification

[sojourner-between-worlds]

Well. That was a Thing that Happened for sure.

[buggachat]

im gonna be honest i think the "adrien being a sentimonster was randomly thrown in season 4 with no planning on the writers' part" theory is really funny. like the writers of this show are just so bad at their job and so stupid that they tripped and fell in season 1 episode mr pigeon and accidentally spilled "a strange relationship to feathers" all over adrien by accident. they stubbed their toe on the coffee table and accidentally set up a mystery surrounding emilie's relationship to a feathery miraculous in season 1 volpina before we even knew what its powers were. then they spilled coffee all over their favorite shirts and at the same time spilled more white feathers around adrien in season 2 episode gorizilla. while writing the same episode someone had a really nasty sneeze and got boogers all over the script that said "use the imagery of two twin rings intertwined as the opener for the film of adrien's dead mother". they forgot to look both ways before crossing the street while writing the season 2 finale and were struck by a truck labeled "the peacock miraculous gives life" and then by a second truck with the license plate "it does so using white feathers identical to the white feathers that surround adrien in his ads" at the same time. they plummeted down an open manhole and hit the ground with a loud whack that sounded like "sentimonsters like bugette are just as real as any human..... and isn't bugette so...... perfect?" in season 3. on their way to the hospital they slipped on ice that had frozen in such a way to perfectly resemble the sentence "the word 'perfect' is consistently used throughout the series and by the creator ominously to denote how characters like adrien and kagami are 'different from everyone else', ever since season 1 episode simon says". during season 3 someone on the team got food poisoning and when they threw up felix came out instead and started another whacky series of comedic errors. the answer to the mystery of "how and why did emilie die? what life did adrien's loving mother create that she was willing to die for?" was originally gonna be "idk maybe she just exploded or somehting" probably, but then there was a really painful rock in one of the writers' shoes while walking to work that put them in a mood so bad that they forgot their original plan and instead made some bullshit up that somehow ended up being something that made sense with what we knew and put all the puzzle pieces together and actually made the show even more interesting and impactful on a rewatch because it put a lot of shots that at the time seemed random into a new and logical perspective as clear foreshadowing. it's actually impressive how stupid these silly clown writers are that they put strangely specific things so consistently throughout the entire series that resembled foreshadowing while never actually having intended it a single time! like........... really.......... really impressive............... i think..............

[meowshark12]

i know it won't work...(rc)

series summary: you're best friends with topper, kelce, and rafe. it has never bothered you to see them with other girls, knowing that they usually only have flings, but, when rafe gets what appears to be a girlfriend, how does this change things?

(not rly canon)rafe x kook!reader, original characters

warnings: none idk, first time writing beware

a/n: the slowest of all slow burns rn. feedback appreciated!! but pls be constructive abt it I can't handle hate

1 2 3

chapter 1: just friends!

It was approaching the end of May, something you were thankful for. Without any more classes to think about, you could focus on the important things in life; the beach, getting drunk, and hanging out with your friends.

Your friend group was one constant in your life that you felt would be impossible to live without. No matter the situation, you knew you could count on them.

Your boy friends, Topper, Kelce, and Rafe, you had basically grown up with. Topper's father is a business partner of your father, and both of your mothers got along so well that, when they became pregnant at almost the same time, they were ecstatic.

Topper made his own friends, and so did you. So what could be the harm in merging your groups?

Your girls, Stella and Macey, have been your closest friends since you all met in the same class at the beginning of freshman year. The three of you were inseparable, defying the odds of "trios never work".

The group of the six of you got on like a wildfire, which was why you were so excited to spend the whole summer with them.

You had entered your final class of the day, a class that you had with Rafe and Kelce. Assigned seating was your worst nightmare, you being seated in the back and them together in the front. None of your girls were there, and your boys were too far out of reach. So, you decided to focus on what you could, which was probably why you were doing comparatively better in this class than all of your others.

The class droned on for a while, Kelce and Rafe both messing around in the front while occasionally stealing glances at you. Rafe lets his look linger for a split second too long. You had barely noticed, but you heard whispers of the girls in front of you.

"I really don't understand how they're friends" one of them whispered.

"He's definitely looking at you, Amber, not her." her friend replies.

From there, you tuned it out. You were used to the jealousy that came with being close with them, so you try to not let it bother you anymore. But, maybe he wasn't looking at you. Maybe he and Kelce were messing around to get the attention of the girls in front of you. You tune back into the lecture, only letting your gaze drift to Rafe and Kelce a few more times.

As your final class of the day ended, you checked your texts from the "big 3" groupchat with just you, Stella, and Macey.

...

stella may💫

im bored

mace🦋

girl pay attention. how do you expect to learn

anything if ur always on that damn phone

stella may💫

stfu. what r we doing later? need to fantasize ab

something to get me thru the day

mace🦋

idk. thought top was throwing? ask yn,

he usually tells her first🙄

stella may💫

don't sound so jelly just bc u want topper bad.

yn what's the plan?

...

You looked down at your phone, smiling briefly at your friends' text messages. Truthfully, you didn't know if Topper was throwing, but you hoped he was. Parties are always better when your friends were the first there and last to leave. You reply to the girls, a quick "idk, come to mine after school?", before turning off your phone and packing your things as the class was dismissed.

At the front of the class, you see Rafe and Kelce waiting for you. Rafe is staring at his phone, while Kelce taps his foot, faking impatience with you.

"What took you so long?" Kelce asks, eyeing you quizzically. The three of you begin to walk outside, slowly making your way to the parking lot to meet your friends.

"Just the girls blowing up my phone," you laughed. "They're asking if Top is throwing tonight. They always expect me to have the answer," you say with a sarcastic roll of your eyes. Kelce laughs. There is a silence that follows. Kelce accepts your answer, and Rafe is still glued to his phone.

"What are you staring at dude?" Kelce questions, shoving Rafe lightly.

Rafe replies, "Oh- just a message from my dad. No big deal," eyes shifting so slightly that you almost missed it. He avoids your gaze and changes the subject easily. "So, Topper's throwing then?"

You knew Rafe better than to let that slide, and decided you would talk to him about it another day, perhaps after he had cooled off a little. Though you and Topper were originally the best of friends, you and Rafe have become closer over the few years that you have known each other.

Rafe always found it easy to talk to you. You were like a vault, so anybody's secret would be safe with you. You believed that people's stories were their own to tell, and, if someone told you something, you would never even think about sharing it for them. Because of this, and because of your willingness to trust Rafe, he began to slowly open up to you.

The first instance of Rafe's openness was years ago after a party at Tannyhill, before the two of you had really even become friends. You were more like acquaintances who knew each other through Topper. Most everyone had gone home, a few stragglers stumbling out and your friends already upstairs, but you had started straightening things out downstairs in the kitchen. This party was particularly rowdy, and it always pained you a little bit to let other people clean up a mess that they didn't make. Rafe walks into the kitchen and stops when he sees you.

"What are you doing?" He asks, and you turn, still squatted down trying to sweep up shards of broken glass.

"Just trying to clean up a little, it makes me a little anxious just going to bed and leaving all of this," you reply honestly, standing up and tossing the broken glass into a bucket that you had found outside. You looked into his eyes. The blue of them was much darker in this lighting.

"Oh," he says, shocked, "you don't have to do that. I can take care of it." He breaks eye contact with you, but you speak again.

"It's really not a big deal, just trying to make it a little easier in the morning." There's a silence that follows. You clear your throat. "I just know that I like when other people do this for me, so I figured I would return the favor... as best as I can, I guess. These people really did a number on your house." You laugh lightly.

He scoffs, amused. "You could say that. This is gonna be the last party I throw here for a while." Rafe says, leaning against the countertop behind him. He notices the look that you give him, which propels him to explain himself further. "Ward hates when I party, and after the last one he gave me this huge lecture. I dont know, I think he thinks it's gonna send me down the wrong path." You're silent, just barely nodding along as he speaks. He continues, "I guess he's kinda right, I mean I'm not perfect, but it's annoying that he sees me as this unhinged freak when Sarah does the same things and he sees her as an angel." He finishes. You nod, sympathetically while Rafe begins to wonder why he even told you that to begin with.

He's not the most open person, after his mom died and his father remarried, he's found it hard to open up to anyone. His mother was his rock when he was younger, and he resents his father for just giving up on her like and finding someone new. But, something in your warm demeanor reaches out to him, and he feels like he would tell you anything if you asked.

"I get it," you say, before Rafe can walk away and pretend this conversation didn't happen, "My parents have always been like that with my sister too. Sometimes I feel like I don't really even exist to them, but I know that they just want what's best for us. She just needs more attention, I guess," you reply, shrugging a little. Rafe gives you a small smile, acknowledging what you said. You knew that Rafe had really opened up to you, and you felt like you owed him a little piece of yourself in that way too.

The silence that follows is comfortable, and you both begin straightening things around the house. Rafe is sweeping everything into a pile in the kitchen as you enter from the living room carrying a bag of garbage. It's only been around 15 minutes, but you speak again.

You had been thinking about what he said as you picked things up. "I hope you know that you're not actually an unhinged freak, Rafe," you begin, setting the bag down and turning to face him, hoping to add a bit of humor to make the next thing you are about to say a little less serious than it is. Rafe chuckles, but stops what he's doing to look at you, clearly interested in what you were gonna say next. You continue timidly, "at least, I know that's not how I see you"

"How do you see me, then?" He replies with a smirk, looking you up and down. You knew he was trying to give you a chance out of what you had started, but you don't relent.

"Thats not what I meant," you say with a roll of your eyes, you lean on the counter facing the table, "I just meant that I don't think you give yourself enough credit." You wait a beat, seeing how Rafe is reacting to what you're saying. You wouldn't want to continue if he seemed any sort of uncomfortable, but Rafe seemed to be hanging onto your every word, now seated on the kitchen table. You continue, "I mean, putting a drunk Topper to bed is a skill that few people have been proven to possess," at this, he lets out a laugh, leaning back onto his hands while waiting to see what else you have to say. "And it's almost impossible to remember Stella's or Macey's coffee order, but you do it flawlessly any time they ask."

He playfully rolls his eyes. "It's not that hard..." he responds before you continue.

"And I've seen the way you treat your youngest sister, even if she can annoy you sometimes." You pause, but he doesn't respond, looking down at his feet. "And I know you put on that tough guy act, but your actions toward some people about show that you care a lot more than you let on. So basically... I have a lot of respect for you." you finish, unsure what really possessed you to say all of that.

Rafe is silent, the only sound in the room is some light snoring that you know is coming from Topper down the hall. Was he really that transparent? You think that you may have said too much, but Rafe takes a deep breath before saying, "Do you really think all of that?" You nod, he lets out a surprised huff, and you accept that as your queue to turn in for the night. Maybe you both were too drunk to act sane, which could explain the nature of the conversation, but you meant everything you had said.

"Well, I think I'm gonna go to bed, but thanks for staying up and cleaning with me. Goodnight, Rafe" you say with a yawn.

"Goodnight, YN" he responds, and you swear you see the faintest blush on his cheeks. He was still reeling from all of the nice things you had said to him.

After borderline forcing Topper to host a party tonight, you and your girls split ways with the boys. You all piled into your car, blasting music on your way back to your house. You walk in, saying a quick "hi" to your parents and siblings before heading straight up the stairs into your room. You sit on your bed, while Stella and Macey find spots in an armchair and at your vanity. The three of you sit in silence for a while before beginning to debrief the parts of the day that you had spent without each other. The debrief was nothing to really write home about, until you spoke up after a few seconds of silence.

"You know that Amber girl who sits in front of me in 4th period?" you ask, trying to be nonchalant about your question, though it was weighing on your mind all day.

"I think so," replies Macey, looking at herself in your vanity mirror. Stella just nods along.

"Well, Kelce and Rafe were messing around during class and would look in my direction every once in a while for some attention, and the one time she was like 'ugh I don't even know how they're friends' or something like that," you explain, and you see the girls' faces change, Macey's jaw hanging open. "Usually shit like that doesn't bother me but there was something about it that I lowkey can't stop thinking about..."

A look of recognition crosses Stella's face. "Wait... isn't that the girl who is literally obsessed with Rafe?" she questions, "I swear I remember him talking about her to Top and Kelce the one day."

"That would make sense," Macey adds, while you just look confused.

"I mean yeah I guess," you reason, "but I don't know... it just rubbed me the wrong way I think." You try to articulate your thoughts the right way, but it makes you seem more possessive of your boy friends than you intended.

Of course, they can have other friends that are girls. You would just prefer that you and your girls are their first priority. You continue as you remember another detail. "oh my gosh and then her friend was like 'he's definitely just looking at you Amber' which made me unsure if they were actually looking at her or me. UGH I don't even know what to think. Not that they can't look at her obviously. I just thought they were looking at me, and, I don't know, I feel stupid even saying this."

"I don't know, I wouldn't worry about it too much. You know you're their number one girl anyway," Macey says, while Stella rolls her eyes at her friends bluntness. You blush lightly, not considering it like that. You and Stella exchange a glance before you speak again.

"You know they love you guys just as much as me." You explain, not trying to start a confrontation before what is supposed to be a great night. The two girls just shrug.

"Yeah we know, but I think she's just saying that you don't need to worry about them replacing you with that Amber girl. You're their best friend!" Stella says, trying to reason with you. You understand what they're saying, and you nod along.

You decide to change the subject. "Ok well do you guys want to get food before we leave?"

"Hell yes. Pizza has been calling my name all week." Macey says.

"Yeah I'm down!" Stella exclaims.

You call and order pizza, glad that you were able to change the subject. Just after that, Topper calls you asking for drink requests. You tell him to get you "the usual" and that you'll Venmo him later. He tells you that he will text the group chat of the six of you when they're back and you can come over.

The three of you eat the pizza in what feels like record time, still having probably around an hour before needing to walk over to Toppers house. It was lucky that you lived so close to him- he was always nearby if you needed him, or if you needed to walk back to your house after getting shitfaced.

After Topper's call, the three of you begin getting ready. You put on a black tank top and loose jean shorts, accessorizing with your favorite jewelry.

"Shots?" You ask, raising your eyebrows. The other girls immediately agree, and you pull out a bottle and three shot glasses. You take the shots, wincing. You look between your friends, wondering how you got so lucky, when you get a text from Topper telling you to head over.

(to be continued hopefully. lmk if you like!)

[wasitforrevenge]

oh sweetheart

pairing: boxer! ellie williams x f reader au

word count: 1.9k

rating: 18+

warnings: boxer!ellie, drinking, smoking, cursing, creepy guy but ellie comes to ur defense!! ellie has lots of tattoos, fighting, threats, idk if im missing anything (no character description or anything specific)

summary: you didn't expect to meet her on this night out.

authors notes: hi friends! this is my first time writing and posting on here hopefully you enjoy, please reblog, like or follow! lets be mutuals :) anyways feedback and constructive criticism is always welcome and appreciated! ellie williams has me on my hands and knees!!! i hope you enjoy! i like the idea of making this a series if it works out and ppl like it, so pls let m know!! thank you :)

PART 1 | part 2

series masterlist <3

from the river to the sea, palestine will be free 🇵🇸

READ: this account stands with palestine, and so— i require everyone who interacts to educate themselves, and support/donate. READ THESE; 1 and 2, HELP HERE, BOYCOTT. silence is complicity, do not scroll past this.

DO NOT BUY THE REMASTER, TLOU2, TLOU1, OR ANY GAME FROM NAUGHTY DOG! neil druckmann (the creator) is a zionist. PLEASE READ THIS. AND REBLOG THIS.

loud. everything is loud. the smell of sweat and blood stains the air around you. the sounds of people cheering and shouting towards the center of the large room. the lights are buzzing above you as you are walking into the entrance of the shitty run down gym your brother, jesse, and his girlfriend, dina, ended up dragging you to tonight.

you didn't mind coming along with him but this wasn't what you expected to be doing tonight. after a long shitty week of unpacking your new apartment, you kinda just wanted to end up a hole in the wall bar and drink your stress away but he had other plans. which including watching grown men beat the shit of each other for their cut at the end of the night.

it was intimidating, walking through the crowds of people you didn't know until you finally make it to where his friends were waiting for you guys. they were sitting at a table with a clear shot of the fight which was surprising since the whole place seemed to have more people in it then it could fit. you make your way awkwardly to the empty seats saying a gentle "hello guys" to your brothers friends who you didn't knowl. you sat next to dina as jesse made his way to the bar with your drink orders.

after you graduated highschool, you moved to new york and spend 4 years there working in a small cafe you lived above but now at the start of the summer, still not sure what you should be doing with your life. now you're 22 and you've moved to the city of jackson to be closer to your older brother and his girlfriend. you were excited to start fresh in a place where no one knew you yet, you were ready to leave your old life and those toxic things in the past. but you wondered if it was even possible.

you spend the next hour talking with dina and catching up on the things that have happened since you moved, "have you started looking for jobs yet?" she asked as you both sipped on the second drink of the night that jesse went and brought back a bit ago. you've only met a couple times in person since they started dating about 2 years ago but you loved her, she was making this night a lot better. "not much luck yet, i don't know what to do, luckily i have some time to figure something out." you responded. she went to say something but then the loud speakers around the room started blaring music and the countdown to the match that was about to start.

jesse tapped dinas shoulder to go watch with the rest of them. dinas eyes met yours and asked, "are you coming up?" you started getting nervous as the people started getting louder and crowding towards the center ring and told her that you'll stay here and watch. they both nodded and said they'd be back when it was over.

you took this opportunity to finally go get some fresh air since the crowd isn't all over anymore and it was a straight shot to the door you came in, you walked over to the side of the building, definitely feeling the drinks you had, you let your back rest against the concrete wall, finally cooling you down on this hot summer night. there's people standing outside talking but they payed no attention to you. you stayed against the wall as you pull out the cigarette pack from the pocket of your thin dark green jacket and the lighter out of your back pocket in your jean shorts. you cursed yourself for not buying more but its a bad habit and you know it. you pulled one out and put it in your lips as you brought the lighter up and took a drag, finally letting the anxiety go as you stared off into the sky.

"excuse me miss, you shouldn't be out here alone, a beautiful girl like you," a man with a rough voice said but you didn't move to look, suddenly wishing you never left your apartment to begin with, "hello i'm talking to you, its not nice to ignore people, ya know," he slurred his words as he spoke. you turned your head as you went to tell him to leave you alone but instead, he was standing in front of you before you knew it you dropped your smoke and now he's practically cornered you.

he was so close you could smell the alcohol on his breathe as he spoke again, "now are you gonna talk to-" you leaned away from him as he was interrupted by the sound of a door opening a few feet away, he looked towards it but then turned back to you just as quick, almost touching you as he went to speak again but he was beat to it.

"get off her." you didn't even realize the door had opened until you heard her.

the man looked back towards the door to the figure in the light, he squinted and when he got a good look, he suddenly backed off and put his hands up. "hey hey i wasn't doing nothin- it was nothing!" he shouted back to whoever was next to the still open door, light shining into the alley.

the door slams and the light fades as the figure walks closer towards you and your eyes meet the deep green eyes of the person who just saved you as she turned to the man who was just cornering you against the wall.

"it doesn't look like nothing, i mean, really? you're fucking joking right?" she questioned him as she looked him right in the eyes.

"i said it was nothing- she was flirting with me and-" he was cut off as she laughed loudly. "yeah you're full of shit, get the fuck out of here and don't let me see you again or you'll regret it." she said as she stepped closer towards him, almost at the same height, he looked scared of her. "okay, okay- fuck 'm leaving!" he slurred one last time as he turned around and headed the opposite way of the run down gym.

you stood there as the interaction happened, not sure what to do or say yet, you were silent as he walked off, and those green eyes met yours again and you saw her lips moving as she was speaking but you caught nothing she said. "hey, you okay there?" she asked you as she went to stand in front of you, looking you up and down, checking if you're psychically okay while she gave you a second to process before she asked you again.

"hey sweetheart, you okay?" she asked and grabbed your arm, not in a way that the man would have but like she was actually making sure you were okay, and this time you finally heard her.

"h- yes im okay, just- fuck- yes thank you." you said finally getting a good look at her now that she's up close and touching you. her eyes were greener than you thought, her short auburn hair with some pulled back into a bun, the big moth tattoo wrapped around her right forearm that was still holding onto yours, other tattoos littered her arms and some poking out under her t-shirt she was wearing. she was so close to you and it sent butterflies through your body. now is not the time, you thought to yourself.

"are you sure- 'm sorry that happened, fuck him." she said roughly, not towards you but him.

"its okay, thank- thank you for helping me" you said gently to the girl who was still looking into your eyes. you had been so focused on hers that you didn't even see the tiny scars, small healing cuts and the bruises that were fading until you looked over her face again.

"yeah of course, are you here alone?" she asked you curiously still holding on to you, you weren't even phased by it. you told her you were here with your brother and she nodded her head towards the door, "lets get you back to him before anything else happens sweetheart" she said as she guided you to the door, hand on your back, as you swallowed and went first.

suddenly all the sounds that you had not realized you had been blocking begin again, smells of the sweaty bodies surround you again and you felt too hot, either because of her or the summer heat trapped in here. once you made it inside, she moved her hand off the small of your back and told her to go find your brother and to get home safe. when she walked away, you realized you didn't even know her name.

you saw dina, sitting along with a few of jesses friends and made your way over to her. the match must've ended while you were outside. you walked through the gym to sit back down, moving carefully to avoid touching anyone. once you made it to the table, dina wondered where you had ran off too. "oh just went out to get some fresh air," you said back to her smiling, not wanting her to worry. she told you jesse went to get more drinks and after the encounter outside, you needed it.

jesse came back a few moments later, holding a round of shots for you three. "here you ladies go," he spoke with a happy look on his face. you smiled slightly back and took the glass as dina laughed at him. you took the shot, trying to forget what happened outside with the man but not what happened with her. you wondered if you would see her again. is she here to watch? could she work at the bar? is she here with friends too? your thoughts were interrupted by an announcement over the speaks that the final match was gonna start soon.

dina and jesse were telling you, "its the last one tonight and the last ones are always the best so lets go!" you would rather sit and order another drink, but what if something else happened cause you were alone? so reluctantly you got up with them and got closer to the middle ring, you heard the loud speakers announcing the boxers as they entered the ring. you weren't even paying attention, nothing could stop your mind racing with thoughts about the girl outside.

you shake yourself out of the trance when dina reaches over to you to touch your hands that were shaking but you didn't even realize, you look to her and give her smile that she returns, then she looks back to the ring and you turn your head to follow her eyes to the center. and your breathe caught.

thats her.

thats the girl who saved you outside.

the girl with her hands wrapped in tape and the mouthguard in.

the girl who wondered if she'd ever see you again either, not that you knew that, but she hoped it wasn't the last time.

you wondered what she thought as you both stared back at each other. you heard the coach start the countdown. you just watched her.

...5

...4

...3

...2

as the buzzer started, she smiled directly at you then turned to throw the first punch.

[osarina]

ᡣ𐭩 THE GROUND FINDS ITS BRUTAL WAY TO ME

FEATURING: dazai osamu

SUMMARY: the moment you've been dreading has finally arrived—there's no turning back now.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: GOOOOOOOOD EVENING LOVEBUGS, HAPPY FRIDAY!!! anyway i hope you guys are excited for this chapter because i AM chapter seven through nine is the reason i started writing this fic, it all goes downhill from here HAHAHAHAHAHAH JKKKKKKK kind of BUT ANYWAY i hope you guys enjoyed, im having the time of my life writing this chapter and the other upcoming ones. im so excited for you guys to read chapter 9 actually and the end of chapter 8, it's gonna be soooo good i swear. anyway!! reblogs and comments greatly appreciated as always!! ENJOY heheh!

GENERAL WARNINGS: fem!reader, port mafia executive!reader, civilian!dazai, dazai's struggles w suicide & sh, reader partakes in mafia business, dazai isn't dazai without a bit of obsessiveness and possessiveness (the possessiveness doesn't come til later but the obsessiveness starts from day 0).

CHAPTER SPECIFIC WARNINGS: hardly edited - i've been busy. MAFIA BUSINESS. rather graphic depictions of violence. character death (not anyone major). mentions of human/child trafficking. depictions of dissociation. i used a bit of creative liberty with the depictions of lovecraft, corruption (here in particular), and yosano's ability.

ANOTHER THING TO NOTE: our lovely reader IS A MAFIA EXECUTIVE !! as a port mafia executive, she does port mafia things, this will become very apparent in this chapter and the rest of the upcoming chapters. it hasn't been as apparent in the past few, so it might be a bit jarring to read (especially when we get to chapter 9) but it is something to keep in mind. additionally, she is FLAWED and that is very apparent with how she acts with a certain member of the ada. i wanted to add this warning just to give you all a bit of a heads up.

SEE: WASTELAND, BABY! SERIES MASTERLIST

Your foot presses the pedal against the floor as you race down the backstreets of the Kanagawa prefecture. Dazai has been trying to talk to you but you can’t even bring yourself to respond to him. You try but you’re incapable of pushing any words past your lips. He asks you where you’re going and your lips part to tell him but you can’t. He asks you if you’re okay and you try to say ‘I don’t know’ but all that escapes you is a shaky breath. He asks you what’s going on but your mind is on the brink of collapse.

You’re not going to get there in time.

You can hardly keep your eyes on the road and at the speed you’re going, you know you can’t afford to look away. But you can’t stop yourself from looking down at your phone, throat clogged with fear as you wait to see if Chuuya sends another text. You told him not to, told him to wait but he hasn’t even read your text, doesn’t know that you weren’t in Yokohama when he was about to use Corruption.

If he used Corruption as soon as he texted you thinking that you were in the area… it’s already been fifteen minutes. Chuuya has never used Corruption longer than five. He’d be ash and bone by the time you get there if he already activated it. You’re still at least ten minutes away from where he pinned his location even at the speed you’re going. 

“Fuck,” you whisper, slamming your hand against the wheel as you urge the car to go faster, watching the speedometer wobble in the red zone. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“Can you talk to me at least?” Dazai tries again, sounding frustrated. “What’s going on? Why did we have to rush out of the beach house?”

You don’t even know why Dazai is with you.

Well, that’s not true. You know exactly why Dazai is with you. There’s a sick feeling in your gut that leads you to believe that the Guild might know about Dazai already and if that’s the case, you can’t leave him alone at the beach house. You don’t think the Guild would have planned such a blatant attack on the Port Mafia without ulterior motives and with even the smallest reason to believe that their primary goal might be getting their hands on Dazai to back you into a corner… You just can’t risk it. 

But you’re risking bringing him to a battlefield where Chuuya might have activated Corruption. You try to convince yourself that he’s safer at your side than he is alone but… is that even true? Chuuya under the effects of Corruption is unpredictable and destructive, you can’t ensure his safety—you can’t even ensure your own. Every time he goes into Corruption, it’s both his life and yours that are most at risk, it’s why he rarely lets himself use it even when in trouble, so that’s how you know things must be bad.

“You’re not going to get wherever you’re trying to get to if you crash the car into a tree,” Dazai says airly, still irritated from how he’s side-eyeing you but none too bothered by the speed you’re racing down windy streets. “How about you slow down and tell me what’s going on?”

You let out a sharp puff of air. You don’t slow down, but you do force yourself to speak.

“Chuuya is in trouble. Bad trouble,” you finally say tightly. “The Guild… They launched an attack. I don’t… he might already be dead for all I know. I have to get to him—couldn’t leave you alone in case…”

“In case the attack was just a distraction to try to get to me?” Dazai finishes for you—as always, too quick and perceptive for a random college student. “Shouldn’t you try to figure out a game plan before, I don’t know, rushing head first into what might be a trap?” 

He’s far too sarcastic for your liking. You give him a cold look and to his credit, he does back down for the most part, but he’s still waiting for a response from you. 

“I have a plan,” you finally say, gnawing at the inside of your cheek. “I just…”

Need to know the situation. If Chuuya has already activated Corruption, you need to get to him as soon as possible. If Chuuya is dead, you need to figure out which other members of the Mafia are around so you can figure out how to deal with the remaining enemy—although if they killed Chuuya, your chances of winning are bleak. If Chuuya is still alive and hasn’t activated Corruption, you need to figure out the best course of action to take to prevent him from having to activate it. Without knowing the situation, you might as well be walking blind into a lion’s den. 

“What do you need me to do?” Dazai asks quietly.

“Stay out of the way,” you say too sharply. Your eyes flit to the side when Dazai winces and shifts back a bit, slowing down just a little to remove one hand from the wheel to grab his and squeeze it gently. “The Flags should be there too… At least Albatross, Iceman and Piano Man… Doc is probably off the field waiting for injuries. You know Albatross—he was the one with me at your apartment and in mine the day you came over while I was drunk—get to him, he’ll bring you to wherever Doc is. If you can’t get to him, Klaus and Akutagawa are on their way… might be there already, get to one of them and they’ll get you somewhere safer.”

Dazai doesn’t look pleased by your directives but he nods. 

“What if… what if I can’t get to anybody?” he questions hesitantly after a few moments. 

Your eyes meet his for a split second before you let out a heavy breath. You don’t really want to consider what to do if he can’t get to someone because that means he’ll be in much more danger than you’re willing to accept. After a few moments, you nod to the glove box, watching from the corner of your eye as he opens it and freezes up a bit when he sees the gun inside.

“Only use it if you have to,” you tell him quietly, “and if you have to use it…”

Aim for the head, you want to say, but you can’t push the words out because fuck, what have you dragged him into? A few months ago, his biggest problem was figuring out what he was going to use as inspiration for his fucking writing workshop project and now you’re telling him to shoot to kill if someone comes after him while he’s alone and vulnerable.

Chuuya was right. Chuuya was right and you’re a goddamn fool for not listening to him. You should have cut Dazai off right away, right when you realized things were going too far, you never should have let this happen. You knew better.

You knew better.

“I’ll do what I have to.” Dazai nods, throat bobbing as he keeps a steady face, clearly trying to make himself seem unbothered when he sees how distressed you are. You watch as he fumbles to click off the safety of the gun. “It’s okay.”

“You won’t have to do anything,” you say tightly, gaze snapping to the side when ground beneath the car shakes violently and a loud crashing noise comes from the left. Your eyes focus on a dirt path leading deeper into the forests on the outskirts of the Kanagawa prefecture and grimace before taking a sharp left. “But keep it on you just in case.”

Dazai nods, letting out a long breath, dark eyes darting around nervously as you turn off the car’s headlights to continue down the dirt road more inconspicuously. You don’t get more than half a mile before you have to pull over onto the side of the road when you hear fighting in the distance—explosive and dangerous. You stop Dazai before he opens the door to get out of the car and he looks at you curiously, waiting to see what you have to say.

For a moment, you contemplate telling him to wait in the car for you but you can’t, because if anyone happens upon the car then he’ll be alone and vulnerable. So, instead, you reach forward and cup his cheek. His lashes flutter as he leans into your touch and you run your thumb along his cheekbone, watching him with a heavy feeling in your chest.

This is all your fault.

You brought him into this life. 

You let them back you into a corner like this. 

You ruined his life.

It’s all your fault. You let this happen. 

“Get to Albatross,” you say, hating the way your voice cracks. “To Albatross, or Iceman, or Piano Man. Get to one of them and let them get you out of here, okay?” 

He nods, keeping his face pressed to your hand as he looks up at you through his lashes. “I will.”

“Doc will probably be three miles out from where the combat is taking place. Whoever you get to—the two of you will head there on foot, they’ll tell you what to do and make sure there’s no one tailing you guys, but you’ll have to be quick.”

Dazai gives you a small, wavering smile. “I almost failed my phys ed class in high school because I couldn’t complete the mile fast enough.” 

You snort. “I can’t believe you actually just admitted that out loud.”

Dazai smiles sweetly and then says, “Kiss me before we go?” 

Your lips curve up gently as you lean in to press your lips against his. You feel him let out a soft, pleased sigh but even with your lips moving slowly against each other, you can’t help but feel the dread build more and more in your chest.

You pull back to look him in the eyes again as you whisper, “Be careful.”

“No you,” Dazai says with a simpering smile as he leans in so he can brush his nose against yours. For a moment, he looks as if he wants to say something but then he seals his lips shut and gives you another soft smile. 

I’m sorry, you want to say but the words just don’t come out. You think Dazai must know what you’re trying to say from the way he squeezes your hand. It’s all too soon and all too long before you push yourself away from him and step out of the car.

The brisk early morning air is almost uncomfortable as you breathe it in. You usually find it refreshing—you like the morning, you’re always more productive at dawn even if most nights you find yourself up until the moon sets in the west trying to get work done. But now, you only find discomfort, a tight feeling in your chest and a prickly feeling across your skin. Your hair stands on end as you reach for the gun holstered at your side, flicking off the safety as Dazai comes to stand next to you.

“Stay behind me,” you tell him quietly.

You can hear the fighting in the near-distance. Can feel it. You can hear the sounds of gunshots and people yelling, some voices you recognize as the Flags and others you don’t recognize at all. The ground is shaking—undoubtedly proof of Chuuya using his ability and you can only let out a sigh of relief now, realizing that he must not have activated Corruption yet. 

If he had, the entire forest would be obliterated. 

You motion for Dazai to follow you. He’s light on his feet—lighter than you expected from a twenty two year old college student—he’s careful not to step on any twigs and stays close behind you, each step finding where yours had lifted from the ground as soon as you move from it.

You make your way in the direction of the shouting and fighting. Every step forward leaves you more and more ridden with dread—your feet feel heavy like weights are holding you down, your mouth feels like it’s filled with ash. You should be moving faster than you are—your friends, Chuuya, they’re in danger but… but the closer you get, the closer Dazai is to danger.

What are you doing? You think desperately. What are you doing?

You doubt yourself. 

You doubt yourself so much that a part of you deep down wants to turn on your heel and drag Dazai back to safety, out of danger, out of this shitty forest, out of your life. It’s not worth it—your happiness isn’t worth his life. He’s convinced himself that he cares about you, that he needs you, that you make him happy but you know it’s not true. You know it’s just your ability at work.

But it’s too late now.

The distant shouts have become near—you see Albatross, Piano Man, and Iceman all crouched beneath rubble, grimacing as they dodge… you don’t know what they’re dodging and quite frankly, you don’t think you want to know but you don’t think you’re going to have a choice. 

You don’t even spare a look to the battlefield, reaching back to grab Dazai’s wrist so you can drag him in front of you, pressing your hand to his lower back to make him move faster. You only just barely get him down beneath the metal that the three Flags are using as cover before another… thing (a tentacle?) is snapping out toward you—luckily, Iceman is quick to the draw as always and prevents it from taking off your head. 

Piano Man yanks Dazai closer to him, away from the edge of the rubble, and Albatross wraps an arm around your waist with a wild smile. “There ya are, dollface, we’ve been waiting on you.”

Your eyes linger on Dazai for a split second, seeing the wide-eyed expression on his face and how his knuckles are white around the grip of the gun you gave him. The guilt claws to your throat again but you force it away as you focus your attention on Albatross.

“Tell me the situation,” you say, voice rougher than you intended. “What’s happening?”

“The fuckin’ Americans lured us out here,” Iceman says, taking a long drag of his cigarette before laying back down flat against the ground, eye looking through the scope and chin pressed to the stock of the sniper rifle as he prepares for another shot. “There’s only two of them but something’s wrong with one of ‘em.”

“What does that mean?” you demand, looking between Iceman, Albatross and Piano Man. Albatross grimaces and looks away, Piano Man meets your gaze. Iceman pulls the trigger to the gun and Dazai cringes at the sharp noise, but you have to focus on Piano Man’s response over trying to comfort him.

“It won’t die,” Piano Man says, the characteristically whimsical tone to his voice long gone, face pinched. “No matter what we hit it with.”

“I’m sorry?” you ask, staring at Piano Man blankly as you wait for him to elaborate.

“It won’t die,” Albatross repeats, looking equally stressed as he manhandles you to face the other direction, looking in the direction of the battlefield where Chuuya is in combat with an unfamiliar black-haired man whose arms seem to have transformed into tentacles whipping around at a lethal speed, the dismembered bodies of his subordinates littered in pieces across the forest floor. “He has a partner who has taken cover in the forest too. Can manipulate trees. Can’t fucking get to him because of the tentacle monster.”

You suddenly wish you never left the beach house.

“What the fuck,” you breathe out, watching as the man (man?) grows tentacles to reattach his head to his shoulders after a devastating blow from Chuuya that should have sent his head flying. “Where-”

Movement from the corner of your eye catches your attention and your head snaps to the side to focus on where four people—one very unfortunately familiar—are taking cover in the tree line, talking frantically amongst each other.

“Yeah,” Albatross mutters, shoulder pressed to yours as he follows your gaze. “The Agency showed up too. We don’t know why, haven’t been able to get over there because of fuckin’ Woody Woodpecker over there.”

“Steinbeck,” you say, voice sounding distant even to your own ears as your eyes tunnel in on Yosano Akiko, the same woman who has been haunting you for over a decade now. God, you’ll never be free of her, of the reminder of your inadequacy. You have to force yourself to look back at the situation at hand. “John Steinbeck. The Grapes of Wrath. An executive of the Guild. Big in the US farming industry but that’s just about-”

“We don’t need an info dump on him, Christ, how do we kill him?” Iceman says dryly and you give him a withering look.

“I was getting to that,” you reply icily. “The vines he controls. They and anything they attach to are extensions of himself, meaning if you attack them…”

“It harms him,” Iceman finishes, the corner of his lips curling up into a slow smirk. “Got it.”

You look over to Albatross. “What types of weapons do you have on you?”

Albatross winks at you. “What don’t I have on me?”

“Can you smoke him out?”

“For you, dollface, I can do anything.”

You roll your eyes but grimace as Chuuya is knocked backward hard, blood spilling from his mouth as he takes a violent hit from the black-haired man that you don’t recognize. He looks exhausted, you wonder how long he’s been fighting trying to protect the Flags and the guilt that’s been hanging over you like a dark cloud intensifies. 

“If we can’t figure out any weaknesses, Chuuya is probably going to have to use Corruption against that thing,” you say quietly. “... We need to make sure there are no interfering factors before he activates it to make sure his time in Corruption is as short as possible. We draw out Steinbeck, I’ll go out there and get information from him. Once we kill him, we figure out if those detectives are allies or enemies today. Handle them if they’retheir enemies. Then, you guys need to get the fuck out of the area.”

You need Dazai out of here, you think, teeth grinding together as you look between the forest, the fight between Chuuya and that monster, and then to Dazai, whose face is white and eyes are trained on you, as if he’s trying to keep himself calm by training his attention on the only person in the vicinity that he knows he can trust. You want to reach out and grab his hand but you can’t move.

Piano Man squeezes your shoulder. “As soon as Steinbeck is handled, I’ll get him to Doc. I don't want to bring him through the forest while Steinbeck can pretty much control it.”

You nod and then look at Albatross. His lips curl into a crooked grin as he holds up his fist to you. “Ready? Gotta be quick once I’ve got him panicked running out of the treeline otherwise he’ll get to that fuckin’ squid and we’ll lose our chance.”

You bump your fist against his. “I know what I’ve got to do. You better not fuck up.”

“When have I ever?”

“Too many times to count.”

“... Rude.”

Albatross heads off without another word and you watch with bated breath, waiting for Steinbeck to flee the forest so you can make your move. You’ll have to be careful of the stray tentacles unless you want to lose a limb or two, but you trust Iceman to cover you and you know Chuuya will figure out what you’re trying to do so he’ll be quick to adjust accordingly.

But it just… has too far of a range. The tentacles can reach too far, too quickly. As powerful as Chuuya is, he can’t be in two places at once, so someone else needs to take over the right flank while he handles the left so there are no openings for it to get to you while you interrogate Steinbeck…

As Albatross heads in his direction, you head in your own direction, darting from your safe cover with the other two Flags and Dazai over to where the four detectives are taking cover. Yosano is the first one to look at you, a conflicted expression on her face as she stares at you. You can’t even bring yourself to look her in the eye, instead focusing your attention on the blonde.

“Are you here as enemies or allies?” you ask tightly, getting straight to the point because it’s only a matter of time before Albatross smokes out Steinbeck.

“Until that thing is dead, it’s the enemy,” the blonde says, raising his chin. “We’re here to protect Yokohama.”

You scoff—he says that as if you guys aren’t, you think bitterly, but you don’t have the time to argue. Instead, you nod in the direction of where Albatross left. “One of my comrades went to draw out the Guild member hiding in the trees. Once he’s out, I’m going after him to figure out its weakness. Chuuya can’t handle the right and left flank at the same time, the thing has too wide of a range and he can’t be in two places at once. You guys need to hold off the right flank while he holds off the left so I can get the information from Steinbeck.”

The blonde looks disgruntled by the order, and certainly doesn’t seem pleased by the prospect of working with the Port Mafia, but he steels his face and nods, evidently more concerned with the threat that the monstrous man-creature in the center of the clearing poses more than you and the Mafia.

Yosano says your name quietly, but Albatross finishes the job just in time so you don’t have to acknowledge her—as quick and efficient as ever. As much as you give him shit for everything, he’s always been the most reliable to get the job done. It takes not more than five minutes before the entire northern sector of the forest is burning and John Steinbeck is stumbling from the shrubs, pain twisted on his face as he gasps for air and coughs over the smoke clogging his lungs.

You strike just as quickly to get to Steinbeck before his partner can get him back somewhere safe behind him; he darted out close to where Piano Man, Iceman and Dazai are still taking cover. The blonde doesn’t even see you coming because of the way he keeps rubbing at his eyes. You kick his ankles out from under him hard and drive your foot into his back, slamming his head hard against a flat rock to stun him.

You grab him by the hair to flip him onto his back and press the muzzle of your gun beneath his chin before he can reorient himself. His eyes are still partially glazed over when you drive your knee into his chest and settle above him, giving him a sweet smile. 

“You must be Steinbeck,” you say lightly, “I’ve learned a lot about you recently.”

Steinbeck’s expression twists when he recognizes you and instantly, you’re met with a faceful of blood as he spits it on your face. You click your tongue in disgust and whip the barrel of your gun against his jaw, watching his eyes bulge in pain as you wipe the blood off of your face.

“You’re going to tell me all about your friend over there,” you tell him, voice cool. “Don’t make this more difficult than it has to be.”

“I’m not telling you anything,” Steinbeck hisses, cringing at the pain that blooms through him when he speaks. “You and your friends are done. Lovecraft can’t be killed. You’re going to join the rest of your subordinates in pieces on the ground.”

“For your sake,” you murmur, sending Chuuya your silent thanks when he positions himself between you and Lovecraft, “that better not be true.”

“I was told you were cruel, but it’s so kind of you to be worried about my wellbeing,” Steinbeck says, lips slanted upward in a smile too arrogant for your liking, leading you to believe you’re really not going to like what he’s about to say next. You’re proven correct swiftly. “Especially when you really should be worrying about yourself and your little friend over there now that our leader, Francis, has confirmation about his existence. I was also told you were smart, but this was a bit of a silly move on your part, hm?”

You raise your chin, careful to not let your sudden distress show on your face as you look down at him blankly. 

Is that what this is all about? Was it not them setting you up to try to get Dazai alone? Did they not even know about Dazai yet? Was Fitzgerald just trying to get confirmation on his existence and you just played right into it like a fool? Or is Steinbeck just trying to get into your head? You don’t know. 

“Let me rephrase,” you say flatly, “for your sister’s sake, that better not be true.”

You watch as Steinbeck’s face shifts as soon as your words register through his head. It’s only then that you finally decide to use your ability. You’d been contemplating whether or not you’d get quicker results by trying to ease him into revealing the information or if you should intimidate him into it, but from what you’ve heard about Steinbeck—he’s devoted to the cause and will do whatever it takes to get the job done.

The only thing he’s more devoted to is his family.

“I told you, I’ve learned a lot about you,” you say softly, lips curling up. “Little Eden is turning thirteen this year, isn’t she? A teenager. She’s going to be a high schooler soon. You must be proud… She’s a little above the age range that Paz seeks out for his rings, but I’m sure he’ll find some kind of work for her.”

Paz’s trafficking rings are not to your taste. You’ve never been fond of the business, try to avoid it as much as possible, especially after taking Klaus in, so you’re not going to contribute to them in any way, but Steinbeck doesn’t need to know that. You just need him to believe you will and from the reputation that follows you and the black tendrils of fear curling around his brain courtesy of your ability, you think he’s plenty convinced. 

“Don’t you dare go anywhere near her, I swear I’ll-”

“You’ll what?” you interrupt, tilting your head to the side. “This isn’t on me, Steinbeck. Your decisions will decide what happens to your family. So, you can sit here and be stubborn—I’ll let you live, if only so you can go back to that lovely town you call home in Glidden, Iowa so you can find your parents strung up like the pigs you sell to slaughterhouses and all eight of your younger siblings separated all across the world in different trafficking rings. Or, you can tell me what I want to know and die here so your family can live. It’s your choice.”

Steinbeck’s face is a ghastly pallor as he stares up at you, white and gaunt with eyes void of reasonable thought. “You’re doing something to me,” he says shakily. “I can’t-I can’t think. I don’t-they said you didn’t have an ability but you’re doing something to me. I can’t think.”

You smile. You don’t even have to keep your ability activated—never do, not with fear, it always spirals, the mindkiller—so you’re not even lying as you tell him, “I’m not. I suggest you start talking because if the next words from your lips aren’t telling me what exactly can kill your little friend over there, the next words from mine will be your home address to Octavio Paz.”

“He can’t be killed,” Steinbeck says, expression still painted with fear, pleading for you to believe him. “He can’t. Lovecraft-he’s not-he’s not like us. He’s invulnerable on the outside. He’s not killable.”

That can’t be true. Your breath shakes a little as you lift your gaze to look over at where Chuuya is still ardently trying to defend you from Lovecraft’s attacks, batting away tentacles and taking hits so they can’t get to you, to where the blonde member of the Agency grunts as he takes a painful blow to the side to protect one of the other detectives. That can’t be-

“On the outside,” a familiar voice calls frantically, loud over the fighting but too close for liking. Your head twists around to see Dazai hanging off the rubble that the Flags had been using as cover, ignoring Piano Man as he tries to drag the stupid boy back to safety. “He said that he’s invulnerable on the outside.”

Your eyes widen when you realize what Dazai is trying to get at and when you look down at Steinbeck, it’s with far more malice. You’re tired of this—Dazai shouldn’t be here, you were stupid enough to fall into the Guild’s trap and now Chuuya is at risk because of your incapability. God, you need to end this conflict. 

“So, even after all of the threats, you still try to lie to my face to protect him and the Guild. You’re going to die here… you won’t be alone though, your family will join you soon enough.”

Steinbeck’s eyes fly open with panic but neither of you get the chance to say anything else because suddenly, the entire earth is trembling. You gasp in pain as you’re tossed a few feet away, shoulder slamming against the same rock you’d bashed Steinbeck’s head against. The world spins as you stare up at the sky, trying to figure out what happened, but you’re only met with an incomprehensible sight.

What?

You-

You don’t even know what you’re looking at. Your lips part as you stare up at the massive creature that’s suddenly in your line of vision—something so foreign and ungodly that you think it doesn’t belong on the earth. The air around you has become heavy and oppressive, the particles themselves holding you down like weights; it’s early morning so it should be light out, but somehow your surroundings feel dark and gloomy, unnaturally so.

Is that… Lovecraft? You only manage to put it together because the monstrous creature is the same color as the tentacles that had been trying to cut you and Chuuya down. You can’t help but wonder what demon Francis Fitzgerald must have dealt with to get something like this on his side. 

You don’t snap out of your dazed, horrified state until you hear a scream of your name coming from your left. You’re too slow to the draw when you realize that Dazai is trying to warn you of an attack—Steinbeck must’ve recovered when you were still stunned by the appearance of Lovecraft’s new form and he’s flung his hand forward, sharp grape vines hurtling right toward you, about to pierce through your chest when-

When the branches wither and crumble to the ground. When a shot rings through the air and finds itself embedded in Steinbeck’s forehead. You let out a breath of relief and turn to thank Iceman but you freeze when you realize it’s not Iceman who protected you from a would-be lethal blow because he’s still scrambling from being tossed several feet away by the blast of Lovecraft’s transformation.

Instead, it’s Dazai standing there, lips parted in shock and fingers shaky around the gun you’d given him for protection, the one you promised him he wouldn’t have to use. 

“I’ll do what I have to. It’s okay.”

“You won’t have to do anything.”

“Get him out of here,” you breathe out, horror clogging your throat, preventing you from raising your voice because what have you done? What have you done? What have you done? “Get him out of here, now.”

You feel sick, your stomach twists and turns and your vision blurs. Your fingers feel numb and clunky and you can hardly focus as you try to look over at Chuuya, who’s still staring up at Lovecraft, aghast. You need to focus. Need to get rid of the most imminent threat. Then, you can come to terms with what you’ve just allowed to happen. 

Only then.

“Chuuya,” you shout for your friend over the ominous sound of birds screeching as they fly away from the forest. He looks back at you, eyes wide and wild. “It’s weak from the inside. Now’s the time.”

Chuuya’s gaze becomes steely as he nods, turning his attention back to Lovecraft and slowly pulling off his gloves. You turn to run for cover but don’t get more than a step before a familiar black tendril is wrapping around your waist, yanking you thirty yards away just as the entire world begins to shift around you. You land hard against Akutagawa’s chest, grimacing as Klaus throws himself over the two of you when a shockwave rattles the entire forest, knocking down nearly all of the trees in the vicinity.

“Are you okay?” Klaus asks breathlessly. “What’s going on?” 

“Long story,” you say as you push yourself into a sitting position. “Just… be ready for the worst case scenario.”

Klaus’s eyes widen but he nods and instead of focusing your attention on Chuuya so that you can get to him as soon as his battle with Lovecraft ends, you find your eyes seeking Dazai out, trying to make sure that he got out of the immediate impact zone with Piano Man before Chuuya activated Corruption.

But you can’t find him. Your gaze becomes more and more panicked as your head swivels around trying to spot them. They shouldn’t have gotten that far—they should still be in your line of vision but-

Shit.

Shit.

Your throat swells when you finally catch sight of Piano Man’s white and black bob fifteen or twenty yards away to your left. His face is twisted and he’s struggling to lift a fallen tree—your lips part to tell Klaus to get to them but you can’t even push the words out. You can’t see Dazai from the angle you’re standing at, but you can see the frustration on Piano Man’s face and the stress as his eyes flicker up to where Chuuya is fighting Lovecraft.

“Something… is wrong with Executive Nakahara.” You hear Klaus say behind you, voice wavering. You look back at him, seeing the disturbed expression on his face as he stares at the fighting. “He’s not usually this aggressive under Corruption, is he?”

The dread you’ve been feeling all morning intensifies as your head snaps back in the direction of the battle. At first, you think nothing is out of the ordinary—Chuuya is destructive while under the effects of Corruption, always has been. Gravity brings ruin to the land around him, slaughters his enemies and allies alike; it’s no different now, you watch as Lovecraft falls to the destruction of the calamity god Arahabaki and you wait for it to calm down, always does when it realizes all of the immediate enemies in the area have been destroyed. 

Or, maybe calm down isn’t the right word but it does become more reckless in its efforts to destroy, blows holes in the ground and laughs at the destruction, is less aware of its surroundings—it’s only then that you approach it to put it to sleep, but now…?

Chuuya—no, Arahabaki is still hunting. It hasn’t celebrated the defeat of Lovecraft, head whipping around and black eyes wide and searching. You don’t know what it’s looking for but you don’t like it, rising to your feet slowly, pulling your wrist away from Klaus as he tries to stop you from moving.

Is it looking for the detectives, maybe? Chuuya would probably consider them his enemies and Arahabaki would feel those residual emotions and he would know they’re here even if they’ve seemingly disappeared. You think maybe you should intervene—if Arahabaki kills the detectives and Fukuzawa Yukichi learns of it, it’ll make messy times even messier for the Port Mafia. But… there is always the chance you can blame it on the Guild.

No, it’s not worth risking making the situation worse than it is. 

“I’m going to go to him,” you say quietly. “Be ready.”

“Maybe you should wait,” Klaus tells you hesitantly but you ignore him. “Something’s not right.”

 “Each second I wait, the closer Chuuya gets to death,” you hiss. “I’m not waiting.”

You don’t bother listening to the next protest that’s bound to leave both of your subordinates’ lips. You can see Akutagawa’s face twisting so you know it’s coming; instead, you turn around and make your way slowly in the direction of Arahabaki.

God, it’s disturbing, a sight so unearthly that you can hardly stand to look at it. Black guck is splattered all across the forest floor from where Arahabaki had torn Lovecraft apart from the inside out, chunks of the tentacles littered around the area. And Arahabaki itself is there in the middle of it, using the body of your closest friend as a grotesque vessel of calamity—the ground shudders around him, rubble suspended midair as gravity fluctuates precariously. No matter how many times you see Chuuya under the effects of Corruption, you’ll never get used to the way it transforms him: the way his eyes become black voids, empty and haunting, the way his pale skin starts to rot black from his fingertips to his forearms to his biceps. 

Destroys him just as much as it destroys everything around him.

You don’t know if it’s just your imagination when you approach cautiously and realize that the rot seems to be spreading faster this time. It’s been less than half of the amount of time he was in Corruption during the conflict with the Inagawa-kai and yet already, the black decay has spread to nearly his elbows. Either way, it only serves to stress you out more.

You’re less than ten yards away from it when Arahabaki suddenly stiffens and goes still, all of the rubble suspended in the air drops to the ground with a thunderous noise. Your breath catches in the back of your throat—Arahabaki has never sensed your presence before, you and Chuuya theorize that it’s because of how comfortable Chuuya is around you. He thinks that parts of it transfer over to Arahabaki when it takes over so it just instinctually doesn’t register you near him or as a threat. It’s the only reason why you’re even able to approach it when it’s in control, otherwise you’d be as dead as any other enemy in the vicinity—you still have to worry about the stray rubble and increased pressure of course, but it’s much more manageable, and survivable, than a God of Calamity smushing you like a bug.

Has that changed? Has something changed?

You can hardly breathe as Arahabaki looks over its shoulder and a shiver runs down your spine at the sight of Chuuya’s warped face. But Arahabaki’s gaze shifts over you like you aren’t even there. 

Instead, it looks past you.

Looks past you right at Piano Man and Dazai.

Iceman joined them and with their combined effort, they managed to get the tree off of Dazai’s leg, freeing him from where he was pinned to the ground. His ankle looks bad, twisted in all of the wrong spots, blood staining his tan pants. But the three of them stand frozen, Iceman mid-reloading his gun, Piano Man mid-step, and Dazai standing uncomfortably on his twisted ankle, none of them even daring to take in a single breath as they wait for Arahabaki to look away from them. In the entire vicinity, no one moves, no one breathes, no one even blinks—a bunch of deer frozen beneath the gaze of a predator, knowing that the wrong move would lead to them getting torn to pieces.

And then-

And then Dazai shifts onto his good leg.

The crunching of leaves beneath his foot is so loud in contrast to the stillness that had spread across the area, and it’s the only thing needed to get Arahabaki moving.

“Chuuya, no!” you scream futilely as Arahabaki uses gravity to propel itself forward in the direction of Dazai, Piano Man and Iceman. 

The two Flags shove Dazai behind them and brace themselves for the brunt of Arahabaki’s attack but you’re faster and positioned at just the right angle between the three of them and Arahabaki to throw yourself right in Arahabaki’s path. And maybe it’s stupid, you realize that a bit too late when you’re face to face with the god that’s using your friend as a vessel but-

But you can’t let it get to Dazai.

You can’t put Arahabaki to sleep without physical contact—sleep is too strong of a state and Arahabaki is too powerful of a subject. It’s one of the only things you can’t induce without physical touch. If you could just-

Your vision blurs and you taste iron. Something warm and thick pools in the back of your throat and you gag on it, feet suddenly dangling in the air as you stare down at Arahabaki’s empty eyes. You can hear people yelling around you—Klaus and Akutagawa rushing in your direction, Albatross firing off shots at Arahabaki to try to get its attention off of you, Dazai screaming your name.

Dazai.

Shit.

You don’t want him to see this. 

You think that Arahabaki must’ve ruptured one of your lungs because every breath you take in is wet and the oxygen just isn’t reaching where it needs to. Your vision swims with black dots and you need to lift your hand—if you could just wrap your hand around his forearm, it would be worth it. You could put him to sleep; you always knew one day you’d probably meet your fate at the hands of Arahabaki, you just wish that Dazai wasn’t here to witness it. 

But you can’t. And it’s frustrating, it’s so frustrating, your eyes feel wet and you don’t know if it’s from tears or blood considering the pressure around you just keeps getting more and more intense. His forearm is right there, impaled through your fucking stomach, inches away but you can’t lift it high enough for you to force Arahabaki to sleep, your arms just sway limply at your side until Arahabaki has had enough of you and tosses your body several yards away into a pile of rubble.

You can’t move and the fucking bastard managed to land you at a perfect angle for you to witness what’s about to happen. Even as your vision starts to go out, you’re forced to watch as Arahabaki approaches Piano Man, Iceman and Dazai. You watch as Klaus attacks in blind rage only to get his legs crushed to dust—he’ll be able to heal them through Mephisto (he’ll pay for it, though, he always does), but not fast enough to stop Arahabaki from getting to Dazai. Akutagawa lands the next blow, consuming the space near Arahabaki’s neck to try to land what could have been an incapacitating hit but Arahabaki is faster and Akutagawa suffers for the attempt.

Arahabaki knocks Piano Man and Iceman out of the way, its gaze set on Dazai. Dazai doesn’t even try to run, he stares at where your body is crumpled against the rubble with a wrecked expression on his face. You don’t want to watch but you can’t even bring yourself to turn your gaze away. Klaus doesn’t even wait for his other leg to heal—as soon as one has reformed, he’s throwing himself at Arahabaki again to try to protect Dazai. When Arahabaki knocks him away again, he uses his arms to propel himself forward onto its back.

As Klaus utilizes his ability to try to wrangle Arahabaki away from Dazai, desperately healing himself as gravity crushes him, you become acutely aware of a new presence at your side.

Yosano.

Familiar purple eyes stare down at you, conflicted, breath shuddered. You can’t even fathom to understand what she might be thinking and you want her to get away from you. You think it’s cruel even for the gods to have your last sight be her of all people, the same girl that Mori has held over you since the day he met her, heralding her as the perfect linchpin of his plans and disparaging you as nothing more than a failure.

“Fuck off,” you try to tell her, but the words are garbled over blood. 

“I know you hate me,” she says quietly and her words aren’t even registering in your brain, the lack of air makes your ears ring so loud that you can’t hear anything over it and you can’t make out what words her lips are forming because of the blood in your eyes. You think she knows that, but speaks anyway, “but everyday… I wonder how things might’ve been different if I’d gotten you off of Tokoyami Island with me. I couldn’t save you back then, so I will now… Whether it’s the right decision or not, I won’t let you die.”

You feel the effects of Yosano’s dreadful ability instantly, gasping as your lung stitches itself back to better, the hole through your abdomen closing up and the lost blood replenishing in your body. Your body still hurts—the soreness is there and you can feel the ghosts of the wounds, but you feel alive, forcibly pulled back from the brink of death by the last person in the world you’d ever want to save you. 

“Don’t touch me,” you hiss, shoving her away when she tries to help you to your feet. 

God, if Mori knew that Yosano of all fucking people saved your life it would just be more ammunition against you. You think you’d rather have died. Your eyes feel wet again, but this time you can’t use Arahabaki as an excuse, glaring at the other woman who looks oddly solemn at your reaction, disappointed but not surprised.

You turn your attention back to the more pressing matter, praying to god that you wouldn’t be met with the sight of Dazai’s obliterated body in the near distance. Your breath catches when you see Klaus crumpled on the ground, still alive but healing much more slowly and-

And Arahabaki approaching Dazai.

Dazai doesn’t even seem to notice, staring listlessly at the ground with a haunted expression on his face, like he doesn’t even realize death is approaching him.

 Like he doesn’t care.

“Osamu, run!” you cry out, even though you know it’s to no avail, that Arahabaki will hunt him down, but he needs to try.

Dazai’s head snaps toward you, dark eyes wide and relieved when he sees you standing there, wounds healed. But just as your gaze meets his, Arahabaki strikes, hand darting out to curl around Dazai’s thin neck with every intention of using gravity to crush it to dust. Someone screams—you, maybe, though it’s unfamiliar, shrill and piercing, more animalistic than human—and Klaus is still trying to claw his way through the dirt toward Arahabaki to no avail. Piano Man is watching the scene with a shattered arm and leg and Iceman is fumbling for one of his guns, Akutagawa is hurtling himself through the air with Rashomon, holding his bloody side as he tries to sever Arahabaki’s hand before it can follow through with Dazai’s execution.

He’s not fast enough. None of them will be.

But they don’t need to be.

You watch as a strange white and blue color emits from where Arahabaki’s hand is curled around Dazai’s neck, as the black rot recedes and the blackness of his eyes gives way to familiar brown and blue. Chuuya—not Arahabaki—falls limply to the ground, exhausted from using Corruption, and Dazai just stands there, eyes wide and confused.

What the fuck?

Piano Man. Iceman. Albatross. Klaus and Akutagawa. They all look equally perplexed as they stare at what just happened and you fumble for answers to make sense of it. Did Arahabaki exhaust itself on its own? Did it feel Chuuya’s body crumbling under the force of Corruption and instead of letting its host die, it gave control back over? It would make sense if Arahabaki was a parasite that needed Chuuya to exist, but it’s not a parasite and Chuuya is its prison.

And either way, it only happened when he touched Dazai. A light emanated between the two of them like-

Like the activation of an ability, like the reaction between two abilities.

Is… Dazai an ability user?

He can’t be, there’s no way he’s gone his whole life without ever activating it once—or even knowing he has one. It doesn’t make sense. When he asked about yours, it was clearly with the curiosity of someone who’d never encountered an ability before. Unless-

Unless he was lying.

No. He wasn’t. He must not have known, but this changes everything. 

You hardly even get the chance to play with your thoughts and come to a solid conclusion, because you realize that Yosano is storming past you in the direction of where Chuuya is unconscious and vulnerable.

“Where do you think you’re going?” you ask tightly, trying to take a step forward but wincing, so instead, you reach for the gun you’d placed back into your holster, grip firm on the handle. 

Yosano doesn’t respond to you, her hand resting on the hilt of her machete is enough of an answer for you. The threat of Lovecraft is gone and the next biggest threat to the city is none other than the vessel of the calamity god lying unconscious in the dirt—if you were her, you would also move for the execution. 

But you’re not her, so you pull out your gun and flick the safety off, not wasting any time before you drag your eyes over to where the blonde you’d spoken to before is resting on the ground with a wounded side. You lift your gun and point it at his leg, the gunshot resounding sharply through the air and causing Yosano to stop dead in her tracks, head snapping back toward you in disbelief.

Your gaze meets hers. “A nick to the femoral artery can cause a man to bleed out within thirty seconds… we learned that together, don’t you remember?”

“You-”

“The enemy is dead, we no longer have to work together. I suggest you handle your people and I’ll handle mine.”

Yosano looks frustrated, but her hesitation gave Akutagawa enough time to get between her and Chuuya. He tilts his head to the side as if daring her to try to get through him; she looks distressed as she looks between the blonde and Chuuya, but eventually rushes in your direction to get to her comrade.

She stops as she passes you and you don’t look at her, staring ahead at Dazai as she tells you tightly, “You… really have grown into someone who Mori should be proud of.”

Mori will never be proud of you, so Yosano’s words only serve to make you even more bitter. 

“And you haven’t changed at all, Akiko-chan,” you say lightly. “The same scared girl on Tokoyami Island who made the same silly mistakes over and over again. You should have let me die today, just like you shouldn’t have gotten attached to every soldier that passed you by on that island. Your sentimentality will get you killed one day.”

Yosano scoffs. “You never were quite as good at utilizing your ability as I was,” she says coldly, digging a knife into an open wound, “but you did take quickly to his cold-hearted tactics and mentality… I wonder how he feels about your new weakness.”

Your gaze snaps to the side, focusing on her. “Tread carefully,” you say coldly.

“Relax, I’m not you,” Yosano spits out. “I wouldn’t use something like that against you. I don’t need to anyway, you’ll get him killed yourself.”

You don’t have a response to that, cringing and looking away. You miss the way her expression shifts when she sees your reaction; you also miss the way her lips part to say something else, leaving her behind without another word to go over to Dazai and the others.

Klaus is shakily pushing himself to his feet by the time you get there, exhausted and covered in his own blood. You reach out to grab his hand, squeezing it gently. “You did well,” you say quietly, watching how his eyes shine at the praise before glancing over to Akutagawa. “Both of you. You did good. Thank you. I parked my car two miles north of here, go get in there and sleep, I’ll drive you back to headquarters. Go on ahead, I’ll meet you there.”

The two nod and take off in the direction you gave them; you turn your attention to Iceman, who’s gathering Chuuya in his arms. Albatross helps Piano Man limp over to the group of you.

“We’re going to bring him back to his place to rest, Doc will look over him to make sure he’s alright. Was in Corruption for longer than usual,” Iceman says roughly, looking over you once to make sure you’re okay. “We’ll… we’ll all stay with him for a bit, if he remembers what happened when he wakes up…”

“That’s probably for the best,” you say quietly. Chuuya alone with his own mind after activating Corruption is quite the dangerous thing. You try to stay with him in the aftermath, but this time, you have things to deal with first. “He shouldn’t be alone. He’ll blame himself.”

Iceman nods, making his way toward where Doc must be camped out. As Albatross and Piano Man pass you by, Piano Man squeezes your shoulder with his good hand and says, “I’ll make sure the Boss doesn’t find out about the kid just yet… figure out what happened out here though, okay?” 

“I will,” you promise, finally glancing up at Dazai, who looks like he wants nothing more than to just collapse into your arms. You think you want the same. Not yet though. Your voice softens as you address him, “Come on. Let’s go home.”

Dazai sits cross-legged on your bedroom floor as he waits for you to come back from whatever meeting you had to attend as soon as you got back. He dragged your comforter off of the bed to wrap around him and he removed his clothes so he could put on a comfortable pair of sweats and a sweatshirt—yours, naturally, because he thinks if he doesn’t surround himself with your scent he might actually start to lose his mind.

He’s been teetering on the edge for hours. His eyes burn because he refuses to let them slide shut—the image of you impaled on Nakahara Chuuya’s arm is burned behind his eyelids. God, he still doesn’t really know what happened—apparently it wasn’t Chuuya from the little you were able to explain before having to leave, but instead some calamity god that uses his body as a vessel.

As insane as it sounds, Dazai somehow didn’t even doubt the words once you said them because only the power of a god could explain what he’d seen. The entire forest had been rendered to ruin in a matter of seconds, he could feel the way the air had come alive with dark, oppressive forces; he’d never experienced anything like it before. He’d only ever stumbled upon an ability user once in Suribachi City before Odasaku found him and though he’d been strong—Dazai could tell that much from the way he set half of the slums on fire—it hadn’t felt anything like this. This had been… unnatural. 

It had been incredible, he’d never seen anything so… powerful before, so close to divinity—or it had been until you were killed. 

Whatever it was—Nakahara Chuuya or a calamity god called Arabahaki—it had killed you. It had killed you right in front of Dazai. It had killed you because Dazai made the wrong move and drew its attention. It killed you because you threw yourself into the line of fire to protect him and he can’t rid himself of the image. 

No matter how hard he rubs his eyes, no matter how much he tells himself that you’re alive, he can only see the blood, the hole through your abdomen, the way your body had gone limp and your eyes had become cloudy. You were dead when it tossed your body to the side like it was nothing more than trash to be discarded—or you were close to it, at least, but you were definitely dead when you hit the rubble, body broken and shattered, eyes glassy.

You were dead because of him, that’s irrefutable. It doesn’t matter how you’re alive now—and he still doesn’t know how, you clammed up when he asked you how your wounds had disappeared—because you had been dead, and you’d been dead because of him and his mistake. 

He’s hardly even had the chance to talk to you. The drive back to headquarters was quick and quiet; your two subordinates had been passed out in the backseat of your car and you’d been so lost in thought that Dazai could hardly bring himself to badger you with questions. He thought he’d get the chance when the two of you got up to your apartment, but you only sent him up on his own and told him you’d be back soon because you had to report to Mori.

It’s been seven hours since then. 

He hasn’t budged an inch, hasn't eaten anything, hasn’t drank anything, hasn’t even wiped the crusted blood off of his neck. Your crusted blood in the shape of Nakahara Chuuya’s handprint wrapped around his throat because he’d used the very same hand that killed you to try to deliver the same fate to Dazai. 

A part of him is half convinced that he imagined it—that’s why you aren’t here—and each passing second, he becomes more and more convinced of it. He imagined the fact that you’d been brought back to life after being killed and imagined that you drove him home. The reality is that your body is still split open on the rocks that Arahabaki had thrown you into, you’re still staring emptily up at the sky, blood pooling around you. It hadn’t been you to drive him and the two kids home, it had been one of the men you’d told him to stay by during the battle and he’s waiting here for them to decide what they’re going to do with him.

Dazai is alone again. 

Everything he never wants to lose is lost—irrefutable, unchangeable. 

It’s his fate. 

It’s-

“Osamu.”

He doesn’t move. His gaze flickers to the side and he sees you standing there—you’re still dressed in the clothes that you were wearing when you dragged him from the beach house. The clothes you’d died in. A plain black shirt and black pants. You hadn’t given yourself any time to change once you got the message from Chuuya. As soon as you read it, you were ushering him to the car.

Except now, there’s a hole through the shirt where Arahabaki’s fist had ripped through your body. It’s all crusty with blood, Dazai can tell even if he can’t see the murky redness. Dazai thinks that if he stares long enough, he can see the wound reappear—the way your abdomen caves in on itself, how your skin starts to tear and…

He can’t look at this. His mind playing tricks on him like this, forcing him to see this—he can’t handle it. So, he looks away, breath shaky and fingers trembling beneath the comforter.

“Osamu,” you say again, voice quiet, garbled like you’re underwater. “Osamu.”

He ignores you still—doesn’t want to give in to the cruel imagination of his mind—so he tucks his legs closer to his chest and-

And you touch him.

He feels your fingers, warm and familiar, slide against the back of his head as you turn his head to force him to face you. You don’t let him look down at where the wound had been, forcing him to look up at your face. There’s a concerned look in your eyes, but your lips are curled up in a small smile.

“What’re you doing sitting on the floor?” you ask softly. 

His lashes flutter when he feels how you card your fingers through his hair but he doesn’t respond. You’re here. Alive. With him. 

He isn’t alone. 

(Not yet.) 

Your eyes flicker down to his neck, frowning when you see the blood. “C’mon, come with me to the bathroom.”

Dazai doesn’t respond but he does rise to his feet, dragging the comforter along with him as he follows after you, only dropping it when you give it a pointed look before he walks into the bathroom after you. He drops it on the floor before stepping in, letting you guide him to the toilet, sitting him down on top of the closed seat.

You don’t say anything as you step over to the sink, running the water for a few seconds before grabbing a soft rag and soaking it beneath. You ring it once before moving to stand in front of him again, tilting his head back gently before pressing the warm, damp rag against his skin.

“I didn’t think I would be as long as I was,” you say quietly. “I’m sorry. I thought I’d just be able to report in and then leave but he had me there for hours with some of the other executives trying to figure out how to proceed with the Guild.”

Dazai doesn’t respond, eyes sliding shut as you wipe away your crusted blood.

“He didn’t even let me change,” you say bitterly. “Think it was meant to be some sort of punishment.”

“Punishment for what?” Dazai asks, voice raspy even to his own ears.

“Failure.”

“But we won,” he frowns, a bit confused.

Your hand stills for a moment before you force yourself to continue cleaning him up, the expression on your face now a bit twisted. You seem to choose your words carefully as you tell him, “I didn’t. Not to him.”

Dazai isn’t quite sure what that means but he knows he doesn’t like the look on your face, so even though his fingers still feel a bit numb and clunky, he reaches out to grab your hand, watching as your expression immediately smoothes out, a small smile replacing the frown.

“I spoke to Piano Man,” you say lightly as you finish wiping off the blood, dropping the damp, dirty rag into the sink so you can cup his face and tilt it up toward you. “We figure that it must’ve been an ability that pulled Chuuya out of the Corrupted state. Your ability… Did you… know you had an ability?”

You ask the question hesitantly, watching him carefully for a response, and Dazai frowns, unsure why you even need to ask that because he would have told you if he had an ability and you should know that.

“No,” he finally says, brows knit together. “Of course not… what is it?” 

You don’t respond and the expression on your face is still contemplative—for a scary second, Dazai thinks that you don’t believe him, but then your expression smoothes out as you nod, putting his fears to rest. 

“We’re… not sure,” you admit. “Have you… been in situations before where you’ve been in danger?”

You cringe as you ask it like you already know the answer and Dazai gives you a flat look. 

“Yes.”

“Situations where you’ve been in contact with the person making you feel threatened?” you prod further and Dazai’s lips curl down into a frown, eyes lowering as he remembers the months he spent in Suribachi and the years after Odasaku’s death.

“Yes.”

“We theorized maybe it could’ve been your ability triggering as a defense mechanism—that maybe you had a similar ability to mine in that you could make people unconscious,” you say, leaning against the sink to look down at where he’s sitting. You tilt your head to the side and Dazai distinctly feels like a specimen being studied by a scientist. “But if that was the case, it likely would have triggered already and you would’ve known about it.”

“I didn’t know,” he says again like he has something to prove. Your expression doesn’t shift, an unreadable look in your eyes as you stare down at him. “I didn’t.”

Dazai doesn’t know why he’s getting so defensive about it, he knows that it’s probably only serving to make you more suspicious. He thinks it’s because he’s upset that you even need to ask that, it’s bothering him more than it should.

“Okay,” you say to placate him. “I have my own theory but…”

Dazai leans forward. “What is it?”

You look conflicted, brows knitting together and then you look away like you don’t even want to answer him, so he tilts to the side to force himself back into your line of vision again. You sigh heavily as your gaze drifts back to him. 

“I’m going to try to use my ability on you,” you tell him but your voice wavers and you look pained just by the prospect of it. Dazai’s eyes widen, remembering how angry you’d gotten when he first brought it up to you. “Just to… test something. Okay?” 

Dazai nods eagerly, eyes wide and imploring—he thinks that he shouldn’t feel so excited by this when you’re clearly conflicted and unhappy about it but… it’s not even a matter of an ability being used on him in a non-aggressive manner, it’s more just…

It’s a part of you. It’s a part of you that Dazai has never experienced before and he wants to experience all parts of you. Everything. Anything. No matter what it is as long as it’s you.

You reach out to brush your fingers against his cheek and Dazai waits with his heart in his throat and excitement thrumming through his body, pushing away all of the numbness. He looks up at you as he braces himself for something to happen and only begins to wonder if something is wrong when he sees how you tilt your head to the side curiously.

“What do you feel?” you finally ask him.

Dazai blinks and then says, “Excited?”

Your brows furrow. You wait a few moments before questioning, “And now?”

Dazai stares at you. “Nothing has changed.”

Your hand drops from his face and Dazai is pouting immediately, eyes following it as you rest it against your lap. His lips part to protest but before he can say anything, you press: “And now?” 

“Nothing has changed,” Dazai says, mind racing as he slowly puts together what your theory is: that no ability can affect him, and the reason why Arahabaki put to sleep after it came in contact with Dazai was because it couldn’t exist while in contact with him. “Wait, are you…?” 

“You nullify abilities,” you breathe out. “You… And not just by touch… it seems like any ability—around you? Or maybe if it just targets you?—it just like… gets sucked up into a black hole. Non-existent.”

Dazai feels a bit giddy as he looks at you. “I have an ability.”

You don’t even seem to register his words, staring at him with an expression so wrecked that Dazai is startled, thinking he did something to upset you. He’s about to ask when you speak again, voice sounding a bit distant as you say, “You’ve never been affected by my ability.”

And Dazai remembers. He remembers why you’d been so upset when he asked you to use your ability on him. Remembers how your face had started to crumble, the insecurity that had swept across it: I don’t know who wants to be around me for me and who’s just influenced by my ability.

“I told you,” Dazai says with a teasing smile, “I want you for you.”

“You do,” you agree, taking in a deep breath as you look down at your lap, lips curling up into a small smile that Dazai wishes would remain on your face forever. You look so at peace, so happy—and because of him. “You might be the only one.”

You say the words lightly but Dazai can feel the weight of them, so he reaches out to take your hands into his, squeezing them gently. “I doubt that,” he says, “but even if I am, I’ll love you enough that it won’t matter what anyone else thinks.”

Your eyes widen. Dazai immediately draws back and slaps his hand over his mouth, realizing what he’d just admitted out loud. He can feel the heat emanating from his cheeks and he’s sure that he’s probably as red as a tomato. He almost wants to bolt but before he can, your smile softens around the edges and you reach out to cup his cheek again, the look in your eyes so adoring that it makes Dazai’s breath catch in the back of his throat.

“I love you too,” you tell him quietly, and it’s with more emotion than when you told him last night—god, it’s hardly been twenty-four hours, all of this has happened within twenty-four hours. 

Dazai is suddenly acutely reminded of the fact that he’d almost lost you within those twenty-four hours and his chest feels much heavier. He wonders if you were abruptly reminded of the same thing because your nails dig into his cheek enough to sting, the look in your eyes more intense.

“Can we watch a movie?” he asks, voice wobbling as he holds your free hand between his so tightly that he fears he might break it. 

He wants to lay with you, wants to curl up in your arms and pretend he’s watching a movie that he doesn’t care for just so he can bask in the feeling of being loved and pretend he didn't just almost lose you.

“We can watch a movie,” you agree. “Let me go get changed. What are you feeling?” 

You take a step away from him and Dazai almost reaches out for you but refrains. “Horror?” he asks, if only because he likes to hide his face in your chest under the pretense of being scared.

You give him a side-eye over your shoulder as you walk into your bedroom and he promptly gives you a sweet smile, knowing that you know exactly why he picked the genre. You only roll your eyes and leave the bathroom and he sighs as he sits back against the toilet, a warm feeling spreading through his chest.

A warm feeling that is very quickly pushed away when his phone buzzes.

Professor Ui: Can you stop by the school with Koda-san and Otsuka-kun tomorrow? We received a tip-off concerning the exposé we were working on a few weeks ago. I want to run something by the three of you because we might just have the chance to drive the nail in the coffin.

His throat swells as his gaze flickers up to where you’re changing into a clean pair of pajamas and fixing the comforter that he’d pulled off of your bed, rattling off a few options for him to choose from—all going in one ear, out the other. His knuckles are white around his phone before he fumbles to stuff it in the pocket of his sweats. 

He just wants one night with you after everything that happened today and… he remembers the look on your face when you mentioned ‘punishment’ and ‘failure’, and he thinks that you deserve just one night of peace too. 

A night of peace that isn’t interrupted by another shitty text.

He’ll bring it up to you tomorrow or… or maybe he’ll handle it on his own. Go to the meeting, figure out what they’ve been tipped off about so he can report back to you… and then maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t be a liability to you anymore. He could do something to help you and… it’s not like he has to be as worried about danger considering the newfound revelation about his ability. Obviously, there are still other dangers but…

But Dazai could be helpful. Useful. He’s only been a hindrance to you up until now, but he could change that.

He could change it. And maybe—just maybe—if he could learn how to use his ability and you could rely on him for more things… Maybe there’s a chance he could change the fate he thought was inevitable. Maybe he wouldn’t lose you. You love him, so you won’t leave him, and he would be strong enough this time to make sure you wouldn’t be taken from him in the same way Odasaku was. 

Things would be different. 

He would be different. 

“Are you coming?” you call as you pull on a sweatshirt and peek your head back into the bathroom.

“Coming,” he agrees, bounding out of the bathroom and tossing himself right on top of you as you rest against the pillows, curling into your side and waiting for you to start the movie.

One night of peace. It couldn’t be too much for him to ask.

He tries to ignore the ghost weight of the gun in his hand as his arms tighten around you. 

[hisui-dreamer]

Hi, congratulations on 1k followers! I love your writing a lot and I was hoping you could do Villainess AUs with Malleus? Like isekai manhwa style? Thank you!!

the gazelle's sweet briar

Pairing: Malleus Draconia x f!reader

Synopsis: your first objective was to avoid the main characters, but it's not easy when you only have the memories of your friend's ramblings to work off of

Tags: cliché isekai plot, reincarnation, fluff, arranged marriage, tw (mentioned): bad parenting, patriarchal society, death

Word count: 1.6k+

Notes: @coralinnii has an amazing series based on isekai villainesses, so i definitely recommend you check out her work too! im so in love with it (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

Masterlist

Once upon a time, there lived a villainess of exceptional allure, her visage as enchanting as a moonlit night. However, this bewitching beauty concealed a heart blackened by a singular obsession with appearances.

From the earliest days of her upbringing, her mother, a woman who had managed to step into aristocracy by charming a noble, had instilled in her a cruel belief: that those who were not blessed with physical perfection were destined for lives of relentless mockery and eternal solitude. This twisted ideology consumed the villainess' every thought, blinding her to the virtues of education and morality. She became nothing more than a porcelain doll, admired solely for her aesthetic charm.

The King arranged a marriage between her and Duke Draconia, the enigmatic descendant of the dragons who ruled the northern lands, believing that such a striking bride would surely please the reclusive Duke.

However, the King remained oblivious to the swirling rumours that pervaded the courtly circles. Whispers spoke of the Duke as a hideous man who had never once revealed his face, perpetually concealed behind a forbidding black mask. When the rumours reached the villainess' ears, she threw tantrum after tantrum, vehemently refusing to wed a man whose appearance couldn't possibly match her own.

Yet, a royal decree could not be denied. Reluctantly, the villainess embarked on her journey to the northern realm in bitter acceptance. It had rained the moment she arrived, the castle dark and uninviting, with thorns crawling onto the obsidian walls. The Duke, an oblivious and shy man, did not greet her at the grand entrance. Instead, she was met by the Duke's advisor, a man with a curiously boyish features.

Humiliation welled up within the villainess' heart, for she felt as if she were being played the fool by the entire duchy. On the eve of her arrival, anxiety gnawed at her like a relentless spectre.

As night descended, the Duke, mustering his courage, attempted to approach the vexed lady.

But when the villainess beheld his masked face, terror seized her like a vice. "Stay back! You hideous beast!" she cried out, her voice trembling with fear, and she recoiled, her steps faltering as she retreated from him.

The Duke, wounded by her cruel words, attempted to console her, his outstretched hand beseeching understanding. Yet, her irrational dread overcame her, and she continued her backward retreat until, with a heart-stopping scream, she slipped from an open window.

That was how the villainess' life ended.

you hadn't actually read the book, but it wasn't difficult identifying who you got reincarnated as

especially with how your best friend obsessed over this villainess because, and i quote, "if pretty, why evil, huh???"

you woke up a week before the villainess would depart for the North, but that week alone was enough to make you understand the way she acted

every day, you were fed portions fitting of a child, had your skin rubbed raw as you were bathed, and not a moment of your mother's nitpicking about a sudden imperfection she found in you

in truth, you were more than glad to leave for the North, even if that's where your life would be on the line

the survival plan was simple: maintain an amicable relationship with the duchy until the night the heroine stumbles in to ask for a night of shelter, to which the heroine would heal the emotional wounds of the Duke, and share with him the beauty of love, bringing warmth into his heart

and so, you arrived at the estate, the castle tall and intimidating with the clouds dark and foreboding

still, you stepped out of your carriage (with wobbly legs) and met the advisor (your friend's favourite character, in fact)

the advisor, lilia, though seemed young, was actually the very man who raised the duke in the absence of his parents

he welcomed you as the lady of the duchy, and led you to your quarters

by nightfall, you were quite comfortable with living in the estate

everyone was polite, the food was delicious (and properly sized), and you had no doubt you'd settle nicely here

as a precaution to the death sequence, you decided to take a stroll in the rose garden after dinner

if you were already on the ground floor, you couldn't fall to your death, right?

but unexpectedly, you encountered a lone figure in the centre of the garden

he was incredibly tall, dressed simply, his emerald eyes fixated on the estate

upon closer inspection, you noticed he had long horns as well, perhaps he was a gazelle beastman?

either way, you were curious about what it was that held his attention so strongly that he couldn't notice your presence

"Excuse me, sir? May I ask what is so interesting about the building?" you timidly break the silence of the night.

The man turns to you, his eyes widening in surprise. "... Do you not know who I am?"

You blinked in confusion at his words. His words filled you with a sense of foreboding. You wondered if this person matched any of the characters your friend had so fervently described, but all you could recall was the beautiful villainess and the enigmatic advisor to the Duke.

"My apologies, I'm afraid I do not... May I know your name, sir?"

A faint smile tugged at the corners of his lips as he considered your question. "No... If that is the case, you may call me whatever you wish."

Perplexed by his response, you tried to come up with a suitable name. "Then... May I call you Mr. Gazelle?"

Upon hearing your words, he burst out in laughter. "Hahaha! What an interesting choice. Very well, I accept the name," he said. "In response to your first question, I was observing the gargoyles of the building."

on that night, not only did you learn more about the fascinating functions gargoyles serve, you also made your first friend in this life

strangely enough, you didn't meet the duke at all unlike the novel, which though strange, you greatly welcomed

if you didn't have any ties with him, then it'd be so much easier to just divorce him, get the money, and live a comfortable luxurious life far away from the main characters

though as you say that, you find yourself wanting to spend more and more time with "Mr Gazelle"

despite his intimidating appearance, he turned out to be a very generous person, frequently gifting you little trinkets he's made or bouquets he's arranged

he's started calling you "Briar", after the roses in the garden where he met you

you greatly appreciated the nickname, it felt better to be called that than the name of the villainess, that you could just be yourself and not play the role of a villainess avoiding ruin

you also find that whatever musings you've mentioned to him, they somehow manifest themselves

oh? you wish you could learn about embroidery? the next day there's a basket full of the highest quality threads and fabrics, with a gentle tutor to help you learn

(you still remember how cute "Mr Gazelle" looked when you gave him your first finished product, a handkerchief with an embroidered gargoyle)

what's this? you'd like to try more desserts from the capital you were never allowed to try? say no more! the next day the chef presents you with 10 different choices!

so you assumed he was an advisor of sorts to the Duke, because how else could your requests be granted so easily?

but one day, around two months after you started living in the duchy, "Mr Gazelle" asked you questions about the duke, whether you were afraid of him, would you prefer to meet him, curious questions like that

though surprised by the topic, you answered honestly, saying you don't really believe in the rumours (because you know from your friend he's an ethereal beauty) and yes, you would like to meet your husband

and what do you know? lilia informs you the duke wants to share dinner with you. what a coincidence!! :)

Nervousness held you in its grasp as you stepped into the room. Your gaze remained fixed on the carpet beneath your feet, and your knees bent gracefully as you executed the perfect curtsey.

"Your Grace."

You could hear sounds of shuffling, and then a pair of black boots entered your field of vision. Familiar hands found yours, guiding you to rise and stand upright. "Rise, my Briar," he murmured gently.

With hesitant anticipation, you finally looked up, taking in the obsidian mask that concealed his face. That voice, that nickname, and those enchanting eyes—it was all too familiar.

"Mr Gazelle..." you whispered in disbelief.

His eyes narrowed in mirth as he chuckled. "Although I hold great fondness for that name, I do wish you could call your husband by his name," he said as he began to remove his mask.

"Malleus..." you breathed.

A tender smile graced his lips, and his eyes sparkled with affection as he delicately brushed a stray lock of hair from your face—a gesture he had done countless times before. "My sweet Briar, I implore you to forgive me for deceiving you. I wished nothing more but to know you," he pleaded.

Oh, with how loud your heart was pounding in your chest, you realized that you were irrevocably and hopelessly ensnared in a love story that had deviated far from the original story.

But you didn't feel a single ounce of regret.

Masterlist

if you liked this post, don't forget to reblog!

[obsessedwrhys]

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ Arthur Morgan x Duchess!Reader

ᯓ★ forbidden love trope, fluff, is angsty, forced marriage, drinking, cheating, sexism, violence, daddy issues, reader is fem!!

ᯓ★ Quick reminder there's 3 parts to this hc but the third part focuses HEAVILY on angst, this was supposed to be a story/series but im too lazy to do chapters, i dont have the patience and time. Also I'll be writing short stories with this prompt (the lore goes deep and im obsessed with this plot) you can request to be tagged.

You were a duchess from a wealthy family. If there was anything you wanted, you had it. However you could never have the thing you wanted so badly, freedom.

So it wasn't a surprise when the day came that your father had decided to arrange your marriage with a nobleman somewhere near Saint Denis, hoping to secure a great alliance between the family businesses. You had no say in it and was sent away like a package.

That was the plan until your stage was attacked by a bunch of bandits. All your guards were killed to the very last one, leaving just you.

Your pretty dress was spoiled by the dirt of the road as the bandit had his gun raised at you, his eyes lit up from the gleam of your diamond necklace. A gift your father gave you in hopes to bedazzle the nobleman...

But you just ended up catching the eye of the wrong person.

Just as he pulled the hammer of his pistol all the way to the back, bullets were fired from elsewhere. You could only cover your ears and lower your head as you caught glimpses of gunshots fired at the bandits.

Some died while some escaped.

Your focus on the dead bodies were pulled away when you heard sounds of a horse galloping to a stop not far from where you are.

That was when you saw him.

Cold blue eyes hidden behind a cowboy hat. He got off of his horse and was quick to assist you, placing his hand comfortingly on your shoulder and another holding your hand.

His palm felt comfortably rough under your touch.

"You alright miss?" He'd ask, the scent of cigarettes heavy in his breath.

"I think so.." You'd answer.

With the death of your coachman, you had nowhere to go and you weren't exactly informed with the address of your new home.

Seeing the vulnerable state you were in, he offered to give you a ride. He'd hold you by the waist as he lifted you on his horse before mounting it himself. How he picked you up so effortlessly made you wonder on his strength.

Not exactly familiar with a stranger, you placed your hands hesitantly on the sides of his waist, which caught his attention almost immediately.

"C'mon now... no need to be so polite" He'd say, his voice low and sweet as he'd then grab your hands to make you wrap them around his waist. Leaving you with no choice but to have your chest pressed gently against his back.

Even from under his blue shirt you could feel his physique. How his muscles tenses and how his chest would fall.

It left you in a daze. You were never this inappropriately close to someone before. A man in court would have to take YEARS to even get this close to you.

When arriving at Saint Denis, he would hitch his horse before helping you to your feet. As you followed him close from behind, you could see the people of the city stealing glances of the two of you. It was almost like the sight itself was unimaginable.

An outlaw and a duchess?

After talking to the lawmen, you and him decided to rest by the bench just outside the station. You watched as he leaned back and made himself comfortable, his feet rested on top of his other knee. He'd turn to you to meet your gaze.

"What's your name?" He'd ask.

"(Y/N)" You'd say. Just then you'd catch how his eyes trailed down to your dress... before he nods to himself when looking out at the streets.

"What about you?" You'd speak up, being the one to ask for his name.

"Arthur"

Arthur... somehow in your mind the name fits him. The way he looks and behaves, it showed his character.

Once you were able to find the address of the manor, the journey on his horse would continue. Your hands found it's place wrapped around his waist.

What you'd least expected was how he'd asked of your status and your relation to this nobleman he was sending you to. It started off with simple answers but with more and more questions asked, you began pouring out your frustrations before you even realised it.

"My father never was one to care for me. After my mother's passing, he's prioritised his duties over me. I don't hate him for I choose to understand him... but I still feel this gaping hole in my chest"

"So he ignored you when you needed him... nothin's worse than having a coward for a father"

You had to admit, you were taken aback from some of the things he said about your life, mostly criticising your dad the most. But it was how he said it so casually that caught you by surprise.

Yet some of the things he said also made sense, it was like it gave you the rope that you needed to tie your thoughts down. The more he spoke, the more things clicked in your life.

His perspective of things intrigued you.

So when he dropped you off by the gate of the manor, you couldn't help but tell him to come by any time he liked. Either to talk or if he needed anything.

He'd shook his head with an amused smile.

"Yur a sweet girl but I'd hate to trouble you"

"It's no trouble at all. See it as a reward for helping me" You'd say and he'd stare at you, an indescribable look of wonder in his eyes as he nodded before riding off.

It wasn't just you who found his perspective in life interesting but he was also fascinated by your view as well.

How you chose to stay so optimistic and be grateful for even the smallest things in life. It made him wonder if he ever appreciated enough what little things he had.

That is why his visit would come sooner than you'd expected. Soon his first visit would escalate to another... and another... before it became frequent.

Everytime he came back, his goal was to unwind, which you never failed to do so when treating him to some tea in your private garden.

Sometimes you'd even read him a book you were reading at the time, even though it wasn't his strong suit, the way you narrated the story always had him invested.

However your visits were always done behind the back of your future husband, it wasnt hard to when you shared seperate rooms and that hes always away for work, still you'd feel guilty for doing this but some part of you cared more about spending time with Arthur than that.

Then one day, on one of Arthur's visits, he'd open up about his crew. You didn't know all of them but you could only catch a few names and the details of their character.

This new level of trust made your friendship blossom even more.

The way his eyes never left yours when you talked, sometimes it made you wonder if you had hypnotised the man.

He would laugh more. Smile more. His jokes weren't all funny but his humour was contagious enough to have you laugh along with him.

But you'd also notice the little things he'd done.

How he somehow cleans up before coming to see you.

Maybe even come bearing bouquets or gifts.

Not to forget everytime you even mention about something you were interested in or wanted, he would show up in a few days with the very same thing you talked about.

It wasn't that you couldn't afford it but the effort he put in just to get it for you.

It made you fall for him.

You were a fool if you denied it.

But you were even a bigger fool to think you could be with him.

You're a duchess, you had your reputation to hold up. And the obvious fact was that you were getting married to somebody else!

Despite the differences holding you back, your heart couldn't deny the fact you wanted to be with him. His presence alone made you melt.

And the same could be said for him, he just adored you. Your skin so soft and the sun complimenting your features just perfectly. Everytime he saw you was a reminder why he was fighting for his freedom.

But he knew he couldn't have you, you were just too good to be true.

Too good for him.

His thoughts would lead to him drinking one too many bottles on one night. Alone with his drunken thoughts, he'd make a reckless choice of showing up to the manor late at night.

Standing near the window of your bedroom that was a few floors up, he'd shout for your name drunkenly which awoken you in confusion. You'd look out to see him wobbling around, struggling to find balance on his feet.

Worried if he's hurt himself, you'd sneak down as quietly as you could to meet him outside at the garden. To your surprise, he was just a drunk mess.

"I— hic! I miss you!" He'd say, his breath stink of alcohol.

"Arthur? What's gotten into you?" You'd give him your arm to balance himself and the touch of your skin seemed to have his spirits brought back to earth for a while. Like it snapped something in him.

"You... you're cruel!" He'd point at you.

"Cruel...?" You were startled by his tone.

"How could you— make me— love you— ohh" He'd suddenly fall to his knees and you were fast to make sure he didn't hit his head, which ended with him resting his head on your chest, his eyes half lidded from the affects of the alcohol.

"Gorgeous.. " He'd utter before falling asleep.

Some part of you were confused by this sudden confession but you also felt glad your feelings were mutual. You'd hold him in your arms, placing your chin on top of his hair.

The next day was embarrassing for him, he'd find himself awake in the garden... with you beside him...

To be fair he was too heavy for you to carry anywhere so you just did what you could.

The sight of you curled by his side made your beauty ever more ethereal. How he found himself in this position was unclear but he didn't mind. Instead he laid his head back on the grass as he admired how soundly you slept.

His fingertips gently brushing the locks of hair behind your ear to get a better look of your face.

When you finally woke up and you two had talked, it took a lot of convincing to make this relationship of yours a try.

Lots of promises were made that day.

You promised to be careful not to let this be discovered by anyone while he promised to not involve you in the danger in his life.

The relationship was definitely an interesting one.

He calls you princess even though you've corrected him multiple times that it's a different title compared to a duchess.

"I'm a duchess Arthur, a princess has a higher rank than I do"

"Duchess, princess, s'all the same to me" He'd caress your cheek.

To be fair you've gotten use to the nickname that you never bothered to correct him ever again. Surprisingly you'd find yourself loving the name.

He would definitely take you to places on his horse. His favourite area was the beautiful field he stumbled upon one day, it was covered with pastel flowers that he just knew you'd immediately love it.

Which you did.

It became the place where you two could go to with the worries of the world off your shoulders.

Just imagine on the evening sunset, you're reading your book while seated among the short grass, your other hand gently tossling through his hair as he has his head rested on your lap. His hat was slightly tilted to cover his eyes for his nap.

Have I mentioned how he loves to admire you?

You could be a mess and he'd still look at you like you're single-handedly the most gorgeous person to walk this world.

This relationship would go on for weeks behind your future husbands back until one day he FINALLY acknowledge your presence.

Maybe it was something that happened at work but he'd suddenly suggest the idea to push the date of the marriage earlier. You obviously didn't like it but no matter what you said, he'd simply brush your words off and suggest it be done sooner.

You were devastated.

It broke you even more when telling Arthur about it and he could only hold you hopelessly in his arms as you cried.

How is it that your father or even your future husband never stopped to wonder if YOU were okay with this? It was like they treated you like a plastic doll.

To make you feel better, Arthur thought of bringing you to the city to catch a break. There was this restaurant he wanted to treat you to, it did seem high class and from the menu alone he could barely afford it but if it so much pleases you, it's all worth it.

It's not like a couple of bounty hunting won't work.

So don't even think about paying for the food because it'll offend him.

You two strolled down the streets and that's when you were approached by a man, turns out the town hall was looking to recruit new members for the council and from your appearance you were seen as a potential candidate.

At first you weren't so sure but you ended up accepting the invitation immediately.

The second the man left, Arthur had to pull you aside to talk.

"I don't mean to offend you princess but, I've had my experiences with the council and they ain't exactly the most charming folks" He said, being as polite as he could to not shatter your spirit.

"I know... my husband is apart of the council" You said and his eyes went wide from the sudden news.

"Why... then..."

"I'm tired of being his trophy wife Arthur... and I'm tired of feeling hopeless about it... so I'm gonna take his place... and let him feel what it's like to be miserable" You said, a plan already storming inside your brain and Arthur was here for it. He'd grin.

"That's my girl" He'd say, a proud look on his face.

[emberuby]

in your arms forever — chapter three. | p.js

chapter two | series masterlist | epilogue.

pairing: park jongseong x fem reader

chapter summary: jake struggles to make sure you are okay as you fall into a state of heartbreak over your fiancé leaving you. jay’s mother is furious with him for ruining her plans and decides to take action into her own hands. 

warnings: assault, attempted murder, pregnancy, assault against a pregnant woman, mentions of abortion, drugging, implied child abuse, (very) minor character death, kidnapping, use of guns, smut (not as heavy as the last chapter), oral (fem rec), breeding kink, creampie, slightly rough sex, spanking, dom! jay, sub! reader. also, jay gets slapped twice 😭 sorry

taglist: @nshmrarki, @strxwbloody, @anittamaxwynnn, @heeheeyeoiizz01, @star4rin, @yohanabanana, @lilyuwon, @delvziion, @tinyteezer, @partiallyderived, @liebe-love, @honeybunnee, @tmtxtf, @yunjinhuhjennifer, @jaehyuniewifeu, @heelovesmeknot, @a-l-i-y-a, @littlebambi1302, @shawnyle, @taerifin

note: so sorry for the long wait 😓 i wanted to take a break from writing but now im back! this chapter is much more intense and violent than the previous ones, but the epilogue will be very sweet and fluffy (and steamy :)) ~ feedback is greatly encouraged and always feel free to ask questions ^^

wc: 14k

“I’m taking you to the hospital,” Jake said sternly. One hand was pressed gently up against your back and the other was holding your hair back tightly as you spilled the contents of your stomach up into the toilet bowl. This was the second time today, and you lost count of how many times you’ve thrown up this week.

You were too preoccupied to verbally protest so you shook your head. Jake scanned your body in frustration, knowing you were going to refuse due to your depressive state and your unwillingness to step outside of the manor.

It had been a week and a half since Jay left the face of the earth. Jake was rather blindsided by all of it, not entirely in the know of why you two fell out. Almost every time he called Jay, he didn’t pick up. On the rare occasions, he did get back to Jake and all he would say was, “Keep an eye out for Y/N. I'll talk to you later.”

Jay had called off the wedding, and the day you found out it was like something within you shattered. Jake hadn’t known you for very long, but the blissful and carefree personality you used to dawn when you were with Jay was completely gone. He couldn’t count with his hands the number of times he heard you crying from your bedroom.

Jake wanted to curse at his childhood friend for leaving you so broken. Not only had you fallen into a state of distress, but your body was growing weaker. He never believed in heartbreak being able to cause sickness, but you were a prime example of such a health condition.

For the past few mornings, it was like your stomach could not handle any of the food you ate, and he was worried soon enough you would be throwing up stomach acid, which could be deeply dangerous.

Every time he urged you to let him take you to the hospital, you always told him no, and today was no different. However, he was done asking for your permission.

“I’m fine, I’m fine, don’t take me to the hospital. I just need some water,” you began to stand up on shaky legs before Jake grabbed you by the waist to help steady you. You saw the look on his face in the mirror. He was glaring at your back, sighing loudly in frustration. 

“Water isn’t going to fix this, Y/N, you’ve been sick for days,” he said sternly. You turned around to try and protest, but he quickly stopped it by placing a finger on your lips and shutting you up, “Nope. Nu-uh, this isn’t negotiable.” 

Jay told Jake you couldn’t leave the manor under any circumstances, but surely he would make an exception to this. He knew deep inside that whatever happened between you two didn't stop the love Jay had for you, and he wouldn't want to see the love of his life sick like this.

“Are you out of your fucking mind?!” Jay’s voice echoed through the walls of the Park manor. His mother was sitting on the living room couch, her fingers wrapped around a glass of brandy, her face showing no reaction to her son’s harsh words. 

“That’s no way to speak to your mother, sweetheart. Why don’t you come sit down?” she smiled at him, patting the cushion beside her as though she had no care in the world. 

Jay felt like he was going to burst into flames. “You told me you would leave Y/N out of this, you promised me.” 

“I did promise not to hurt her. But tell me, son, does your fiancé have a scratch on her head? Did I hit her, send my men after her, or drown her in the Styx? No? So why all the drama?” 

In all honesty, Aeri wasn’t entirely too sure why Jay ever cared so much about you. 

She remembered him asking her—pretty much begging—to not hurt you because you were the only innocent member of your family. Aeri always chalked it up to Jay having a softer heart compared to her. 

Jay always thought of himself as a monster, never being able to erase the blood on his hands that he spilt in the name of his mother. However, if Jay was a monster, Aeri was a demoness in human form. If it weren’t for Jay’s aversion, you and many other innocent people would have probably been killed by her. 

“You didn’t even tell me of your plan to poison her, I thought were supposed to be a team—”

“Poison her? Did I raise a man-child? A philtre is no poison, I just made her fall in love with you. Is that so bad? I wasn’t planning on ever laying a hand on her, I just wanted her to feel the pain in her heart of knowing someone she loved never loved her back.”

Oh, she didn’t even begin to know how wrong she was. 

“It doesn’t matter. You should’ve never begun to make those stupid fucking drinks. They made you so power-hungry I can barely recognise you. You cannot control everyone around you,” his voice was hoarse as it strained from all the yelling he’d done previously. He could feel his throat becoming dry.

Aeri looked him up and down in disappointment, sucking at her teeth and sighing quietly, “I noticed you took some yourself. The antidote I think? So I’m guessing Y/N is back to hating you and pining after that Sunghoon boy,” Aeri was holding back her anger from knowing that Jay ruined her entire plan by giving you the antidote and letting you go free, but knew she would eventually have it under control. 

Her words stung Jay in the heart, filling it with bitter poison. The love of his life was gone, at the snap of a finger. Knowing that the brief moment of bliss shared by you two was all under the control of his wretched mother made him feel sick in the stomach. What made him feel especially disgusting was that he used you while you were intoxicated.

He let his love for you make him lose track of logic, and he ended up hurting you in the process. 

Aeri took one more swig of her brandy before she said, “I hope you know, Jay, I don’t get why you’re so hurt by this. You barely know the girl.” 

Jay clenched his fist he felt his fingernails cutting into his palms, most likely leaving bright red marks on the skin. Aeri finally looked over at her son, into his darkened eyes that were swimming in turmoil. It suddenly came to her. 

“You’re in love with her,” Aeri declared, her eyes glinting in realisation. 

Jay’s eyes failed him as they immediately gave away how he was feeling. He shook his head, “No, I’m not.” It was too late however, Aeri had finally realised what this was all about. 

Aeri slammed her glass on the coffee table and began to laugh maniacally. Her eyes sparked with delight. “Oh Gods, this really didn’t work out the way I wanted it,” she placed a palm on her stomach as she continued to giggle, “How ironic. This whole time I needed you to break her heart, and yet she turned the tables on me. That little bitch.” 

Jay tried once more, knowing this was dangerous information for his mother to know, “I am not in love with her. You aren’t fucking listening to me.”

“Do not lie to me, son,” she stood up from the couch, and the fierce look in her eye almost took Jay back to when he was a little boy, when all he wanted was for his mother and father to love him back, and he never understood why they continued to hurt him. 

Jay felt pathetic as he averted his gaze from her in fear. He was scared for himself, but also for you. Now that his mother knew he was in love with you, he knew danger was coming your way.

“Are you thinking of Charlotte, sweetheart?” Aeri asked with the most obviously fake concern she could muster. Her lips curled into a smirk when Jay snapped his head at her in shock. He hadn’t heard that name in years, except for in his occasional nightmares.

“Why would you bring her up?” Jay asked his voice with a hint of betrayal. 

“You think I’m going to kill another one of your girls, and that’s why you have you’re here, isn’t it? Tail tucked between your legs, begging me to have mercy on poor little Y/N.” Aeri pouted her lips mockingly.

Jay’s mind flashed back to when he was sixteen. He had just started his first year at the St. Justinian Academy, and he had found himself falling for Charlotte Kim, a student one year his senior. 

He remembered how enamoured he was with her, and how incredible it felt to be loved back when he had never experienced it before. She was smart, witty and much more mature than he was at the time. It was what most people would have considered puppy love. 

On his eighteenth birthday, she hadn’t shown up to the gathering. When he spoke to her a week later, she broke his heart by telling him she couldn’t keep seeing him. In a snap of her fingers, the love that he nurtured and woke up every day for was gone.

While Jay was still waiting to graduate from St. Justinian, Charlotte had already gone abroad to university. He had thought a long-distance relationship wouldn’t be an issue until they slowly and slowly started to drift apart. 

It turned out that Charlotte had cheated on him with an older man at her university, and the guilt of her unfaithfulness made her begin to ignore him through the last few months of their relationship. It broke Jay to pieces, and although he was furious, all he wanted was for her to leave his life, and never come back. 

When his mother found out, however, she had different plans. Jay wouldn’t have seen it coming from a mile away, as one day he turned on the television and heard the news of a young female socialite turning up dead, her body found floating in the Styx.

His mind completely broke afterwards. Jay felt his heart get ripped out of his chest, never having expected his mother to go as far as to do something so heinous. Aeri did not even try to deny it, telling him sternly that nothing would ever hurt him without proper repercussion. 

Ever since he was eighteen, Jay had vowed to not fall in love. He had no trust in his mother after the death of Charlotte and feared that any person he got too close to would risk the same fate. That was until he met you. Three years ago, when he was just twenty-four years old, he risked your life by falling in love with you, and now he was reaping what he’d sown.

“Is that why you married her? So you could protect her from me? Oh sweet child,” Aeri placed her finger underneath Jay’s chin, pulling it downwards so he could face her. Although the Parks were known to be very tall, the son still hovered over the matriarch. “You know I love you. How can you blame me for what happened to Charlotte when she hurt my sweet boy?”

“What happened to Charlotte? Are you serious? You murdered her. She had a family, she was so young.”

“And she was out being a whore, fucking around with pathetic school boys while my brilliant son, who was far too good for her may I add, was waiting for her patiently. I don’t take that kind of betrayal lightly,” she sneered. 

“My betrayal is not for you to avenge,” he said. You should’ve been there for me, comforted me and told me I would be alright. You should’ve acted like a mother, not an executioner, he wanted to continue. 

Aeri shook her head, stubborn as ever, “One day you will become a father and you will understand.”

“You’re psychotic if you think I’d ever do something like that,” he fumed. 

“That’s rich of you to say, sweetheart. You have just as much blood on your hands as me, if not more.”

“Under your orders.”

“Oh is that so? I don’t remember ever asking you to kill Marco,” she directed. Jay felt as though he was finally cornered. His eyes darkened at the reminder of your former guard and the vile things he did to you. 

“He assaulted Y/N—,” he began shakily before he was cut off.

“Ahh, so you do know what it means to kill for those you love. I never thought I’d end up raising such a hypocrite.”

Jay’s eyes darkened. In his head, he imagined grabbing his mother by the neck and screaming at her from all the frustrations he had built up inside him through the years. 

“I don’t want to repeat myself. Do not lay a hand on her,” he said.

“She broke your heart, sweetheart. That must not go unpunished,” she said nonchalantly.

She couldn’t be fucking serious. “You were the one who controlled her! She didn’t break my heart, you did by fucking drugging her!”

He felt the heat of her palm strike him in the cheek. He hadn’t flinched, but his eyes gave away the hurt he felt. Once more, it was like he time travelled back to his adolescence. “I’ve had enough with you. Who do you think you are speaking to your mother that way? I will have that girl be hanged for all I care, she’s been a nuisance enough to me.”

“Mother—”

“Shut up. That bitch and that family are going down in flames, and I’m done playing these little games,” Aeri’s eyes were dark and oozing with anger. Her calm demeanour from earlier in the night was gone. “I thought you were better than this, Jay. You know what they did, how dare you go against me?”

“She had nothing to do with it.”

She refused to listen. “I don’t fucking care,” she turned to face the men standing in the doorway, “Guards, if you see my son trying to leave the premises, detain him immediately,” then she turned back to him, with the most terrifying look in her eyes, “If you’re smart enough, you will stay out of my way. There’s nothing more you can do to protect that little bitch.”

“Well congratulations, Miss,” the doctor called out as she walked into the waiting room with a pile of documents in her hand, “After conducting our tests, we’ve concluded that you’re four weeks pregnant.”

Jake’s eyes flew open the same way your mouth did after hearing the news. You stared down at the ground, letting the news seep into you.

Pregnant. Four weeks. You were trying to piece together the timeline as you wondered when it could’ve been that Jay got you pregnant, as it’s been around three months since you’ve been engaged to him.

Your hands began to tremble at the realisation that it didn’t really matter when or where you got pregnant given that Jay had chosen to walk out of your life. You began to worry as you realised for the past week and a half all you’d felt was misery and grief and wondered if it was harming the baby by any chance. 

“I…,” you trailed off, your mind still reeling in shock, your body not knowing how to react. All you could do was place your hands on the top of your stomach, as though to comfort the child.

“Is everything alright, Miss?” the doctor asked worriedly. He looked over at Jake who was sitting beside you and asked, “Would you happen to be the father?” 

Before you could say no, Jake confidently told the doctor, “I’m her brother. The father is currently away on a business trip but,” he looked over at you with the kindest smile he could muster up in the current state of shock he was in, “he will be elated to hear the news.”

Your eyes welled up with tears at the reminder of your situation. You were glad that Jake lied on your behalf to save you the embarrassment, but you were still filled with anguish at the thought of your ex-fiancé.

It was funny really, how in a span of just a few months you managed to be an ex-fiancé to two different men, and now you were left pregnant with one of their children. You supposed you just weren’t someone that could be kept around, instead destined to have your heart broken and be left in the cold. 

“We’ll just need to conduct a few more tests before you’re free to leave and—Oh! I think that’s your phone, sir,” the doctor pointed at Jake and he looked over at his table to see his phone vibrating. 

When he turned the phone over, it revealed to be none other than the father of your baby. You flinched when you looked over at the screen and saw who it was, and Jake looked back at you apologetically. 

“I have to take this, I’ll be right back,” he said before rushing out of the door. Speaking of the devil. 

“Jake? Hello, are you there?” he heard from the other line. Jay’s tone was urgent and rushed.

“Glad to hear back from you after you disappeared from the face of the earth for—”

“Jake! Shut the fuck up, I need you to—”

“Keep an eye out for Y/N, yes, yes. I know. You told me this a hundred times, she’s fine.”

“I’m fucking serious, Jake. Find a way to get her out of the manor and into somewhere safe, make sure nobody sees you. My mother,” Jay paused for a moment to catch his breath, “my mother is coming after her. I’m locked in here and she’s coming to kill Y/N.”

Jake’s eyes bulged out. He knew from the beginning that the Parks were having internal issues with your family for a while and that one wrong move would’ve led to either you, your sister or your father being killed, but he had not expected you to be the first one.

He clenched his phone tightly and walked towards a secluded corner of the hallway. “What the fuck, Jay? She’s not even in the manor right now—”

“She’s not home? I gave you one fucking job and it was to keep her safe in the manor, what the fuck do you mean she’s not home?” Jay’s voice was strained and rough. Jake would’ve been dead meat if Jay got his hands on him right now.

“I had to take her to the hospital,” Jake said, all too frustrated at how Jay was not listening to him. 

There was silence on the other end of the call, and all Jake could hear was heavy breathing. “W-What?” Jay’s voice cracked, “What happened? Why is she in the hospital? Why didn’t you tell me she was sick?”

“Why do you think, dumbass? You went MIA for a week and you expected me to call you instead of the doctor? And she’s not sick. She’s…,” Jake trailed off, not sure how to break it to him. 

“Jake, I am losing my fucking patience. Tell me right now what’s wrong.” 

What’s wrong with my girl? What happened to her? Was it my fault? The thoughts were rushing through Jay’s mind like a waterfall.

“She’s pregnant. Four weeks,” Jake said. Like before, the call went silent, but before Jay could cut him off, he continued, “You know, Jay, you’re so full of bullshit. I don’t care what happened between you, you shouldn’t have left her. She’s been depressed all week and she can barely function without you. Maybe if you were here, she wouldn’t be in this mess.”

Jake began to walk urgently back into your waiting room with the goal of getting you out as soon as possible. 

“She’s pregnant…with my—”

“Well, who else’s? It’s not like she ever left your fucking house.”

Jay’s breathing became shaky, but he knew he had no time to process this before he knew you were away from danger. Now that he knew you were out in public, he had no idea how much time he had left before his mother found you. 

A sick part of him hoped that your sadness was proof that you had true feelings for him, but then he began to wonder if perhaps the antidote did not work properly, or maybe you were depressed over something completely unrelated to him. As much as he wanted you to truly love him, his mother’s actions checked his reality, making him realise that someone as pure as you would never and should never love someone monstrous like him.

“Jake, have you found her?” Jay urged.

“Jay…She’s not here. Neither is the doctor. Fuck. I…,” Jake replied back urgently, now rushing round the hallway trying to find any traces of where you could have gone. He noticed your doctor walking towards the room and ran up to him to ask where on earth you went. 

“I’m sorry, Mr. Sim, I’m not sure where she went. I told her to stay in the room while I went to go get paperwork,” he looked at the younger man worriedly. “I’m sure she’s okay, probably just in the restroom.”

Jake could hear loud yelling coming from his phone, but he had to ignore it as he turned back and kept looking around in the hallway. 

He prayed that the doctor was right, but he knew deep inside that you had probably already been taken discretely. He cursed under his breath, knowing he’d fucked up and now you were probably in the hands of Aeri.

“Jay…”

“Tell me, Jake. Tell me you found her.”

“She’s gone.”

You felt it before you even opened your eyes. The burning pain and the liquid fire running through your veins. Your mouth felt as dry as the Sahara. When you did manage to open your heavy eyes, the world was like a blur. You couldn’t move a single muscle without your body screaming at you in agony. 

You groaned as you felt the light of the bulb pool into your vision, so bright you felt like you were being blinded.

“Good evening, you pretty thing,” you heard a mature female voice speak. It sounded familiar for a moment. You wondered for a minute who it could have been until your eyes finally managed to focus on the figure standing in front of you.

Then you saw her. Park Aeri, the CEO of Aphrodite Corporation, and your former mother-in-law. She was standing as tall and beautiful as ever, her long black hair with not a single strand out of place. She looked gorgeous even in the dim lighting of this seemingly abandoned storage garage. 

What on earth were you doing here? You tried to remember what happened last before you fell asleep but it was mostly a blur. You remember a nurse coming into your room when the doctor left to go handle some business, and she urged you to come to another area for more testing.

You remembered the nurse telling you she would give you a shot, which was a common procedure for those in the early stages of their pregnancy. The last thing you could recall was the needle going into your skin, and then passing out a few moments later. 

You realised then and there, you’ve been taken. The nurse must have been in the pocket of Aeri and ordered to intoxicate you and now here you were, in a dark cell with the woman of your nightmares in your company.

“W-What? Why am I here?” you asked, reaching forward to stand up from your seat before you felt yourself be pulled back by the tight ropes wrapped around your chest. You looked down on the cold, hard concrete ground, and although you couldn’t see it, you could feel something thin and made of metal pressing against your back.

You were wrapped against a metal pole, bound and unable to move. You sent a menacing glare towards Aeri, not that she was at all intimidated by it.

“That necklace of yours,” Aeri said sweetly, “It’s gorgeous. I believe my son took it from our family archives to give to you.” She began walking up slowly towards you, her heels clacking on the floor. You came face to face with her knee, and then she finally leaned down to face you, her eyes filled with venom and hunger for revenge. “It’s too bad it’s wrapped around such a worthless neck.”

You felt like you were spat on.

Aeri reached over to grab the pendant of the necklace, a bright ruby that glimmered with the slight bit of illumination of the central lightbulb. She stared at it intently before pulling you by the neck, causing the necklace to rip off of you and be destroyed. 

The skin on the back of your neck was stinging, and there were tears that were welling inside your eyes. She already took Jay away from you and now she had to take the last bit of him you still had left with you. 

You’ve taken off your engagement ring already, right after you found out that Jay called off the wedding. You remembered that night when your mind was reeling with a mixture of devastation and anger. A growing part of you was absolutely furious at Jay for leaving you in this state, and for not trusting you to love him.

As much as you still loved him, you couldn’t believe he would let his insecurities and the manipulation of his mother lead him to not even try to listen to you. Now you were left all alone, and you and your child were probably not going to make it out of this garage alive. 

“How long have I been here?” you finally managed to ask.

“Day and a half. Elena gave you a higher dosage than I expected. I was planning on killing you right when I first got my hands on you, but then I came across an obstacle,” she chuckled. “You little whore got yourself knocked up. That’s where things became tricky.”

You were surprised that a woman known for such vileness and ruthlessness hesitated in killing someone because they were pregnant, although you seriously doubted that it was out of moral consciousness. 

No, the only reason Aeri was worried was because her grandchild and her possible heir was growing in your womb. She was calculating the possibilities of what she could do. 

If Jay were to find out his own child was killed by his mother, she knew it would break him beyond repair. She harboured no fear of her son, but she was afraid of him leaving her. She could always argue that the murder of you and Charlotte was out of necessity, to protect his sensitive heart, but she had no excuse for this.   

“I suppose you plan on keeping it?” Aeri asked.

“I never said anything about that,” you murmured. A part of you was not sure if you were ready for pregnancy now that you were all alone and broken. Your future did not look promising, and you didn’t wish to raise a child in those circumstances.

It was a stark contrast to how you felt just a few weeks prior when the thought of raising a family with Jay sounded magical, but now that he walked out on your life, your heart was filled with a sense of dread. 

Aeri smirked. If you did abort the child, it would make this all the more simple. She may have been vile, but even she wouldn’t force a mother to choose, but the thought of you getting rid of your child was enticing given how much less complicated this all would be. 

She could kill you on the spot, and it would all be forgiven. 

“Does it make you happy? The thought of me losing my child and murdering me? I’m sure someone like you gets off on shit like that,” you said, eyes barely holding themselves open from the weakness of your body. 

“Watch your tone with me, bitch. I don’t wish a miscarriage for you, but you are getting on my nerves. If it weren’t for that baby inside you, you wouldn’t be living to be in my presence, so count yourself lucky,” Aeri’s confidence was staggering and making you roll your eyes.

“I can’t say I agree. I believe I must have pissed off the Gods for me to be in your wretched—,” You couldn’t finish your words before you heard the sound of a gunshot ringing in your ear.

In Aeri’s hand was a small shotgun pointed at you, and you looked over to see the bullet graze the ground just a few feet away from you. The speed at which your heart began to palpitate made it feel like it was knocking on your chest. 

“One more remark from you and it will be your leg next time, do you understand?”

You continued to test her, “you said you weren’t going to hurt my baby.”

“Is your baby growing in your legs? I’ll just shoot you and have my nurses stitch you up afterwards. All the better for me, your baby will be safe but you’ll be in excruciating pain—”

“Mrs. Park, I suggest you don’t do that. Even a minor loss of blood can cause the miscarriage of the baby,” you heard a female voice coming from behind you. You recognised it to be the nurse that drugged you and took you to Aeri. Fucking cunt.

“I see,” Aeri said all too unapologetically. She threw the gun on the floor and smiled at you, her signature manipulation tactic. “Apologies for my rashness.”

“Why do you want to kill me so much? If I die, you won’t have anything to hold against my father.”

“You think I give a shit about that anymore? I noticed you took my blackmail files. Stupid decision, because I don’t give a shit about them anymore. The endgame is here, Y/N. Your family is going down one by one, whether you like it or not. I’m done with threats and blackmail and all these other petty games. Your family’s blood will be on my hand.” She said it so calmly, in an almost unnerving way.

“You never even explained why you wanted to take revenge on my family so badly. What on earth could my father have done? And my sister, I mean she’s barely ever met you and now she has a hit on her head from a psychotic bitch. I want to understand.” 

Aeri was throwing daggers at you with her eyes, not at all too happy with you referring to her as psychotic, but she had to hold back now that she knew she couldn’t spill any of your blood. 

Aeri sighed, thinking she might as well tell you now that she’s determined to kill you. 

“Do you remember your mother at all?”

What an odd question, you thought. “Not really,” you said. You were only a few years old when your mother passed away, but Karina was old enough to have remembered it all, still traumatised from her early death. Your father and sister have mostly shielded you away from finding out how she was killed, and to this day the topic was too sensitive for them to have said much about it. 

“Your father was too guilty to explain anything to you, I’m guessing,” Aeri said.

Too guilty? Surely she didn’t mean…

She continued, “Your mother died under his watch.” You were left frozen in shock and dispelled. You didn’t believe her. You couldn’t believe her. 

"When he began to get involved with Olympus’ underworld, he knew it was dangerous for you all. He had debts and ties to some of the most dangerous families in this world. I told her and I told him that he was putting you all in danger by being so stupid, and yet he did it anyway. If he hadn’t gotten involved, your mother would be alive today.” Aeri raised her hand to begin wiping away tiny tears that were beginning to spill from her eyes, “That bastard killed the person I loved the most. She was my best friend and my soulmate.”

Fucking hell. 

It all came crashing on you like a river. Your jaw fell as everything began to piece itself together.

You tried to keep your composure steady, even if you began to feel your heartache at the mention of your late mother. “Who killed her?”

“A hitman for the Lee family,” she replied. The Lees were one of the five major crime families in Olympus. 

It all came crashing on you like a river. You began piecing everything together at a breakneck speed. 

Your father never talked about your mother because he felt responsible for her death, and the reason Karina got involved with Lee Heeseung was because his family killed your mother. 

You always thought Karina slipped in her judgement by being in a relationship with a criminal, but this whole time she was just trying to get answers and revenge. 

It’s why your father threatened to kill Heeseung, terrified at the thought of a Lee causing harm to another one of his family members.

This entire family war was started because of Aeri’s grief for her friend, and although a part of you felt sympathy for her, you knew she didn’t deserve an ounce of it after threatening to kill your family.

Your thoughts were like a completed puzzle, and your mind was struggling to process all of it. 

“Killing me isn’t going to bring her back. Trust me, if it did I would’ve completed the job myself,” you spat out.

“Killing you would remove the constant reminder of my loss. I want your father to pay for what he did. A swift death is not what that bastard deserves; I’ll make him suffer and witness the death of his only two children before I kill him with my bare hands.”

“You will never be able to get over your loss. I know you think killing me and setting fire to the world will avenge her death, but you will never stop grieving,” you tried to reason with her.

Through the tears welling up in her eyes, you could see Aeri’s dark fury, “I don’t need a therapy lesson from you, bitch. I will—”

There was a loud banging noise coming from behind you and you could hear the nurse behind you cry in fear. You clenched your eyes shut as you heard the sound of steel and metal hitting the concrete floor, and you could smell the dust enveloping the room.

You heard loud yelling from a group of men, one of which you recognised. Your heart fell as you could hear the voice of Jay behind you say, “Disarm her of any weapons and cuff her. Don’t let her get away.”

You looked up to see Aeri’s eyes darkened with fury, her fists clenched as she tried to move away from the men who were now surrounding her. They were swift, however, binding her with silver cuffs and looking through her pockets to find two knives. 

You felt a gentle hand touch your arm and looked over to see Jake carefully cutting open the ropes you were surrounded by.

“What the fuck are you doing, Jay? I told you not to get in my way,” Aeri growled, frustrated at the feeling of her hands behind her back. 

Jay ignored her. His mind was reeling with disappointment and anger at her, his brain not even processing his mother’s words. The sight of you tied up, bruised and beaten while his mother watched maniacally was going to haunt all of his future nightmares. 

“You’re going to prison, Aeri,” Jay murmured, his voice sounding foreign to his ears. He could not handle the level of anger and agony that was flooding his veins. 

Aeri threw her head back as she began to laugh, “You can’t be serious Jay. You choose this bitch over me, the mother that you love? We’re family Jay.”

“You’ve stopped being my mother the moment you made me your executioner,” he sneered. His whole life he’s been seeking the true love and validation of his mother, and he realised that was his biggest mistake in his life. “I’ve stopped loving you a long time ago, Aeri. I only regret acting so late, and now you could’ve almost killed the love of my life.”

Your heart ached at his words. Jake finally managed to free you from your hold and gently picked you up by your waist to begin walking outside the garage. Your hand reached out behind him, yearning to touch Jay, but he was too far away. You could only see his back, but you could tell from his posture the inner turmoil within him. 

“Jake, thank you for finding me,” you whispered into his shoulder.

“Don’t worry about it. I think Jay would’ve killed me if I didn’t manage to find you. Sorry for not keeping an eye on you, I guess some of this is my fault—”

You wrapped your arms around his neck and began rubbing his back gently, “Don’t say that, I don’t blame you. I haven’t known you for long, Jake, but thank you for being my friend.” You whispered, “Thank you.”

You knew it was only his job, but you felt yourself grow a tender relationship with Jake during the last few weeks. He was kind, and gentle and took care of you while Jay was gone. 

Jay…

I love you, Jay.

“Where is Jay?” you asked breathily, your mind becoming hazy. You felt your consciousness slowly begin to slip away.

“Jay is nearby, he’ll be here soon. He just has something to deal with,” Jake could tell your mind was trying to repel this traumatic experience.

“I love him, Jake.”

“I know that.”

“I love him so much, I can’t lose him. I can’t die, Jake.”

Jake placed a hand on your head and gently placed you in the back seat of one of his cars. When making their plan, Jay wanted to be the one to deal with his mother, so he asked Jake to be the one to take you away as soon as he could.

“I’m not going to let you die. I have to take you away, Y/N.”

I love you, Jay. 

“No! I can’t leave without Jay. I can’t handle one more moment without him, please let me see him,” you began to stand up on your seat, but fell back down as your body was too weak to carry yourself. 

Jake looked at you sympathetically but shook his head. He closed the door stepped into the passenger seat, and drove away into the night. “I need to take you to the emergency room, Y/N.” He was going to make sure to stay beside you the entire time now, as he couldn’t bring himself to trust anyone anymore. 

“Jay? Where is Jay?” 

Jake sighed at your state; you were completely out of it and on the brink of losing consciousness. “Y/N, when was the last time you ate or drank water?”

You whispered, “I don’t know…I woke up just now. My mouth feels dry…so dry.”

“Fuck,” Jake muttered under his breath as he pressed harder on the gas and rushed his way faster towards the hospital. If you had only just woken up, that would mean you hadn’t been fed in over two days. 

Jake was not a religious man, but he began praying to the Gods that you were going to be alright.

You could hear the sound of constant beeping, and your hand was being cradled by rough and calloused hands. 

Then you heard the noise of a door slamming open before a frantic voice said, “Doctor, is she okay? Is the baby fine? Will she be alright, is she hurt? When will she wake up? Please—”

“Mr. Park, I can’t tell you anything if you don’t let me speak, so please be quiet,” you heard an older female voice say. 

Then the voice beside you—Jake you presumed—said, “Sit down, Jay.”

You heard the sound of steps shuffling as Jay walked up beside you. He sighed as he looked at your state, needles sticking inside your arms, your body covered in a blue garment, your skin devoid of any warmth. His heart cracked at the sight.

“She’s suffered some head trauma, and she was dangerously dehydrated. She’s definitely been roughed up, but she’s in the process of recovery. She’ll have to stay here for a while so we can monitor and heal her, but she’s already improving.” You could hear Jay’s breathing quicken. “The baby is also safe, I can assure you.”

“So how long does she have to stay?” Jay asked, voice slightly shaky.

“I can’t give you an exact time. It could be a few days to a week, we’re not entirely sure. Because she’s pregnant, we have to be especially careful with her, and we want to make sure she leaves the hospital as healthy as possible.”

Jay took hold of your other hand. You missed the feeling, of his warm and soft skin laying on yours, and if you could bring yourself to move yourself, you would. You desperately wanted to lace your fingers through his.

Gods, you missed him. 

You hummed, finally beginning to gain the ability to control your body. Nobody heard you, but you were elated and began trying to move more. 

You ever so slowly blinked your eyes open, noting that everyone was too intensely staring at each other to notice you. Finally, you lifted your fingers to press them against Jay’s and you heard him gasp loudly. 

“She’s awake,” Jay announced, leaning down to face you, his eyes filled with love and worry. 

You saw the doctor walk up to you with a clipboard in her hands. “How are you feeling, Miss?”

You tried to move your head but winced at the soreness of your neck. “I-I’m alright. A bit sore, and I have a headache.” 

“That’s expected and normal. You can rest, Y/N, we’ll be taking care of you from now on.”

You nodded, smiling at the doctor and gratitude. You grasped Jay’s hands and looked over at him. He looked like a mess, a rare sight. His eyes were bloodshot red, his clothes were dirty and his hair was ruffled. You knew from his hair alone how stressed he must have been, as he always ran his hands through his hair when he was worried. Even then, he looked so beautiful. 

“Could we have a moment alone?” you asked the room. The doctor and Jake swiftly left the room to give you and Jay space. 

The room was silent for a moment, with only the sounds of your heart monitor breaking the stillness. You two just kept looking at each other, taking it all in. He was finally back. He was in front of you. He wasn’t gone. 

“Did you miss me, Jay?” You weren’t sure why one earth that was the first thing you decided to say to him. It was stupid, but you wanted to confirm he still had love for you after everything. You noticed a lone tear trail down Jay’s face. You weren’t sure if he was even able to process your words. “You shouldn’t have left me, Jay.”

He knew that well enough after getting multiple scoldings from Jake about the state he left you in. 

“I was trying to set you free,” Jay said unsurely. 

“That’s bullshit,” you sneered. Your fury was a forest fire that slowly began expanding as you began to think of how easily Jay left you behind. “I know you think your mother was forcing me to love you, but Gods couldn’t you just have heard me out? You could barely look at me before you told me to fuck off from your life. I wanted to grow a family with you, Jay. I loved you and I love you still. That potion your mother fed me did nothing except get me drunk.”

He looked down in shame. “And what if the antidote didn’t work? What if you still need time to get over the effects, what if—”

“Are you serious?!” your eyebrows furrowed as you glared in astonishment, “I am telling you here how much I love you and you’re still thinking this. I mean, is it really so hard to think I could love you?”

“Yes.”

Your heart dropped and you began to feel your eyes brimming with tears. What was it going to take for him to understand? You began to stand up from the bed before Jay quickly leaned down and gently pushed you back.

“Don’t exert yourself, please.”

You ignored him, swatting away his hands and going up into a sitting position. You cupped Jay’s face and brought his forehead to yours. You could feel his breathing fanning your chest, and it broke your heart to see his tearful and pink-tinted eyes. “I don’t know if I can live without you, Jay. When you left, it felt like one-half of me was ripped away from my body.”

“I shouldn’t have left you. If only I had known…,” he placed a hand over yours. The look in your eyes was filled with love, even after all the things he had done to you. As much as he wanted to believe you, he couldn’t stop thinking about how he kept you away from your family, let his mother control your relationship and then left you while you were pregnant. 

“Are you going to leave again?” your voice cracked as you asked, fearing the worst. 

“I’ll be wherever you want me to be.”

“I want you with me. I want you to come home, baby.”

You placed a thumb on his cheek to brush away his tears, and he leaned in to press a gentle kiss on your lips. The feeling of his skin on yours was missed by you dearly. He held your head as though it were porcelain and could break at any moment. He slowly trailed his hands down to your neck and then eventually the small of your back. 

Your arms were wrapped around his neck and you began pulling him against you as hard as you could, wanting to feel every part of his body on yours. You were becoming desperate, and it was hard to continue breathing. 

He groaned into your mouth as you began running your fingers through his thick hair, pulling it gently to elicit his beautiful noises. He was always sensitive to his scalp. 

Your moment of passion was cut off by the sound of a cough. You both snapped your heads to the door to see Jake looking amused, his eyes glinting with satisfaction at you two getting back together. He felt disappointed as he had to put an end to your tender moment as he said, “Jay, you need to go—”

Jay stood up from his chair. “Yes, yeah. I’ll be right there,” he said breathlessly. He looked down at you apologetically and took hold of your hand to press a kiss against your knuckle, “I’m sorry love, I’ll be right back. I have some unfinished business left to deal with. Wait for me.” 

Before you could even respond, he was out the door in a rush. Gone, ever so quickly. 

“Where did he go? Is everything okay?” you asked Jake. 

“Do you not remember why you’re here?” 

Then it clicked in your head. Jay went to see his mother, to try and deal with her. Jake sat down on the chair that Jay was previously occupying. He was glad to see you were seemingly doing a lot better. 

“Jake, what is going to happen to Aeri? Is she okay?” you asked.

“You’re asking if the woman that tried to kill you is okay? Is your head still intact?” Jake furrowed his eyebrows in frustration. 

You sighed, knowing it was absurd. For the most part, you did wish the worst for her after the things she put you and Jay through, but there was a small part of you that felt sympathy. 

She burned the world down with her bare hands and almost destroyed your entire family, but knowing it was for the love of your mother made your heart ache for her. 

Aeri gained her reputation for violence and corruption around twenty years ago as far as you were aware, which lined up with the time of your mother’s passing. You began to wonder what their relationship was like, and if Aeri was a different person before her best friend’s death. Perhaps she was loving, caring and kind.

“You’re right. I’m being ridiculous. It’s just that…,” you trailed off. 

“You’re too forgiving, Y/N. That woman will burn for the things she did to you and I’ll make sure of it.”

“I never said I forgive her,” you sighed. “Is she going to get arrested?”

“She will. Jay is in the process of making sure you get the justice you deserve. It will be hard to make sure she gets a deserving sentence because of her power and her relationships with politicians, but we are sitting on a pile of evidence of her crimes.” Jake had hoped that wretched woman got the death sentence but decided to keep that to himself so as not to startle your sensitive heart. 

“How did you guys manage to do it?”

“I won’t bore you with the details. To keep it short, we hired a hacker who managed to find hundreds of incriminating messages and emails on Aeri’s private computer. While you were in the storage garage with her, he managed to get this little microphone chip under the cracks of the door and it captured her admission. The tape has got everything: her confession of wanting to kill you, her motive, and all the conversations she had with her nurse before you woke up. She’s dead meat, I can assure you that.” 

You nodded, satisfied with the answer. 

“I wonder how Jay feels about it,” you said quietly. “I know he felt betrayed, but that’s his mother. When I was with him, sometimes it felt like the love he had for her was breaking him.”

“Then that’s no love at all,” Jake took your hand in his gently, palming it gently. His hands were so rough compared to Jay’s gentle and soft ones.

During the time you spent with Jay, you hadn’t known if the feelings he harboured for his mother were deep fear or love and devotion. Sometimes it felt like a mixture of all, so your mind couldn’t help but break for him knowing what he had to do now. 

After all the things he had done for his mother, none of it ever mattered now that he was the one responsible for her punishment. Jay went from being her executioner to the one that had to execute her, and you knew it would fuck him up in the head. 

You wish none of this was real, and that it was all a bad dream. You just wanted to go back to the days you were safe and alone with Jay out on the outskirts of Olympus. 

The lights in your room were dimmed, and the window to the outside showed a pitch-black sky with a few twinkling stars adorning it. You had been tended to well by all the nurses, and your pain had begun to subdue. 

You were alone until you heard the door slowly creak as Jay entered the room. He tried to be as quiet as possible, thinking you may have been asleep already. When he saw that you were still awake, he smiled at you warmly. 

You wanted to ask him how it went, but you could tell he was stressed behind his happy demeanour. As long as that woman never laid a hand on you and your family again, you felt secure. 

“Did I disturb your sleep, my love?” he asked, placing a kiss between your brows. His skin felt so hot. 

“I’m pretty tired but I didn’t want to sleep until I got a chance to see you.”

It made him feel guilty that you stayed up past your exhaustion just to wait for him. He sat beside you and eyed you up and down. Your chest heaved slowly up and down, your body in a state of tranquillity. 

He gently placed a hand on your stomach and began rubbing it. There wasn’t much of a bump yet, if any, but it made him shudder to think you two were going to be a family by next year. 

“How do you feel?” he asked, his eyes glinting with concern.

“About the baby?” When he nodded, you continued, “You know I had a dream about this. I saw you in a field, with two little kids running around. They looked just like you.”

“Yeah?”

“I loved it. The older one was a girl, with long black hair. There was a little boy as well, barely two or three, Gods he was adorable. A carbon copy of you might I add,” you sighed in bliss at the thought of your future family. “I know we’re both young, and maybe the circumstances aren’t great, but I love you and I want to grow a child with you.”

Jay tried to imagine what you were thinking of, and it made his heart ache to think of your children when they grew up. You two frequently talked about starting a family back when you were under the spell of the philtre, so he needed the utmost confirmation that you truly wanted this. He needed to know you wanted a child and wanted him to raise them with you. 

“I love you, Y/N. I'll do anything for you and our family.”

You sighed in relief, feeling like you two were both on the same page.

Your mind went back to your last interaction with him before he left, where you were tangled in a passionate and desperate kiss. You missed each other so dearly, it was like a clash of love and yearning. Surely, if Jake hadn’t interrupted you, you would have pounced on him and made up for all the lost time. 

“I missed you, baby,” you said. You reached your arm out, motioning him to lay beside you on the bed. The patient's bed was not particularly spacious, but you moved over to give him enough room to lay beside you. You needed him as close to you as possible. 

Jay shook his head, failing to conceal his smirk. He was always so in tune with your feelings and body language and could tell you wanted him to take you. “You need to rest, my love.”

“I need you inside me,” you said breathily, looking at him with sultry eyes. Your lips were pouted and 

Jay clenched his fist, knowing you were using your power over him to your advantage. He

“You are injured, and you just went through something traumatic. The last—”

“Then I need something to make it all better,” you grinned at him. You always loved acting like you didn’t know the effect you had on the man, as though you didn’t realise the deeper meaning behind your words. 

Jay stood up from his chair to go stand in front of you. “I don’t like when my wife acts like a brat. I should probably punish you, but given the circumstances, I’ll let you have a free pass.” He slid off the blanket that was covering your lower body. “Just understand this; I’m in control.”

You nodded submissively, eyes twinkling in anticipation. “Sorry, this hospital gown isn’t the sexiest thing to get us going.”

Jay smiled to himself. “My love, you could be wearing a hazmat suit and you would still give me a hard-on.”

You placed your palm over your face as you felt it heat up. Gods, he always made you so nervous. 

He slid up your gown to your waist, and you clenched your thighs as you could feel the cool air hitting your core. He wasn’t having any of it as he spread your legs by the knees, jaw falling at the sight of your already glistening pussy. 

“Fuck. You don’t understand how much I’m holding myself back,” Jay said. If it weren’t for your injuries, he would’ve been drilling you into the mattress by now, thrusting his cock deep inside you. He usually wasn’t gentle with you after you both realised how much you loved rough sex. However, today it had to be different, no matter how much you protested. He had to be as careful as possible.

“You don’t have to hold back,” you whimpered, already feeling desperate for his touch. 

“You don’t get to make the rules today, my love,” he replied back, leaning down to face your cunt. You shivered as you felt him blow air onto your pussy, the feeling of it already giving you pleasurable stimulation. “Make sure to keep quiet. We don’t want to alert the entire hospital you’re getting fucked, now do we?”

You shook your head, “No, sir. I’ll be quiet. Please touch me.”

You didn’t have to say anything more as Jay plunged his tongue into your pussy. You had to bite the back of your hand to stifle your moans, your mind already going haywire at the feeling of his mouth latched around you. 

He began licking your cavern. The feeling of his wet tongue exploring you was going to make you cum as quickly as a university freshman losing their virginity. Your pre-orgasm tingles were already travelling up your spine, and by the Gods, it was embarrassing. 

“F-Feels so good, s-sir. G-Gonna cum!” you moaned. 

Although you couldn’t see him as your eyes were shut from the tsunami of pleasure, you could feel Jay smirk into your pussy. He continued to play with your clit as he said, “Already? It’s barely been a few minutes. Let me have a little fun.” 

Now, your neck and ears began to heat up from the embarrassment. You nodded meekly, “‘M sorry! I j-just can…can’t take it.” 

He sighed mockingly, “Look at you. Two weeks without my cock and now you can barely function. I’ll have to break you in once more.”

You made the mistake of not having your mouth occupied, as a moan crushed out of you, surely loud enough for whoever was in the hallway to hear. You prayed that the wing was relatively empty and that nobody was in your earshot. 

You yelped as you felt Jay strike the side of your thigh, but thankfully this time you managed to muffle it with your palm. 

“I told you to be quiet, my love. Should’ve brought a ball gag if I knew you would be this loud.” Jay could feel your cunt clench around his fingers, noting how turned on you were at the thought. “You’d like that, huh? Should I go out and buy us some toys?”

You thought about it before, but you two hadn’t usually involved sex toys in your intimate life. The only times were when Jay would stick a remote control vibrator inside you before you would go out, teasing you the entire day until making you cum at the most embarrassing and inconvenient places. 

Jay went back down to continue what he was before. The feeling of his two fingers stretching your insides out, mixed with the feeling of his tongue playing with your sensitive bud was making it hard for you to breathe. Any second now you were going to orgasm all over him.

You mewled and writhed as you felt yourself fall over the edge, your arousal coating his tongue as he continued to lick you to prolong your orgasm. He loved to see you like this; so full of pleasure your body couldn’t even contain it. 

Your breathing was heavy, and Jay stood up to admire his work. There was never a moment where you weren’t beautiful, but your body in its post-orgasm state was practically divine.

He intertwined your fingers with his and placed a kiss on your cheek. You looked over at him pleadingly, then placed your hand on his tightened crotch. He hissed at the feeling of your palm causing friction to his hard-on and swiftly moved your hand away. 

You whined in frustration, “I want to make you feel good too.”

“And I need you to rest. Go to sleep, my love. I’ll go bring you tea.”

“But—”

He pinched your chin and tipped it up towards his face, “I’ll promise you this, Y/N, the day that I know you’re okay and your body can handle it, I will fuck you the way you deserve to be.” He wasn’t going to let you leave the bed when he got his hands on you properly. 

You swallowed hard and nodded defeatedly. 

It had been less than a week since you’d been admitted to the hospital, and now you were free to go home. Although you assured Jay that you were fine to do things on your own, you were currently being carried around the manor to your old bedroom.

You couldn’t help but be amused by how worried he was for you. He practically spoon-fed you the hospital food during your stay, and you wondered if that would stop now that you were here. 

He gently placed you on the mattress and pressed a kiss to your temple. 

“I missed this place,” you whispered.

Jay smiled. He never particularly felt homely in his manor. It was given to him by his mother when he turned twenty, but it felt more like a place to get away from the stress of Olympus rather than a true sanctuary. That was until you came into his life. Wherever you left your presence was a home to him. 

He sat on the edge of the bed to place his palm on your stomach, checking for the bump. He’d made a consistent habit of that ever since he found out you were pregnant. He convinced himself that he could feel a slight raise to your belly, but in reality, a bump wouldn’t be formed for a few weeks. 

Lifting your shirt to your breasts, he leaned down to press a kiss to your stomach. His hair made your skin tickle and you began giggling. “You’re so odd, Jay.”

“I just want to kiss my babies,” he said jokingly. 

You knew in your head that once the baby was born, Jay would not be able to leave them alone. Your baby would probably get annoyed by how much he kissed them all over the face. You fawned over the thought. 

Then you remembered what you had failed to ask him last week. “What is going to happen to Aeri?”

Jay flinched at the sound of his mother’s name and his eyes darkened. He sat up and looked at you intently. “She’s in a holding cell as of now, given the severity of her crimes. The court date is in a couple of months, and until then she can’t leave.”

“Jake said that it’ll be hard to charge her with anything,” you said.

“That’s true. She has relationships with a ton of powerful people in Olympus, including those in law enforcement. Her corruption runs deep, but thankfully we have someone on our side as well,” Jay smiled unsurely.

“Who?”

“The mayor. My mother has never been in his good graces, but especially now, after what Jake showed him, he promised he would not let her get away with this. Besides, we have proof she’s been performing alchemy, and if the court accepts it, we’re talking a minimum of thirty years to life.”

Your breathing hitched. There it was then, your biggest threat was now gone. Your family would be safe, and so would you and Jay. You didn’t even know how to feel about it. 

You placed your hand on his forearm and looked up at him lovingly. You wanted to thank him for saving you and the city from her, but you knew he was still in the process of forgiving himself for letting her crimes go on for so long. 

You pulled him into an embrace, and he placed his head into your neck. Right as you felt him rest comfortably on you, you flipped yourself over and startled his hips. You were now sitting on top of him, your pelvis flushing against his, and a smirk plastered on your lips. 

“You look so beautiful underneath me,” you said. 

“Watch yourself, my love,” he replied through gritted teeth. His hands trailed up to your hips and he gripped them with intensity. You began grinding your cunt against his crotch slowly, looking at him with the eyes you always used to get what you wanted. It almost always worked, but now that Jay was paranoid about you getting hurt, he was ever so careful with you.

During the nights you spent at the hospital, you begged him to take you. He always said he’d wait until you were ready, and instead spent his hours with his face between your leg, sucking on your cunt until you saw stars.

As much as it felt nice, you wanted more. You wanted rough and passionate sex where he left love bites and slap marks all over your body. You wanted to get on your knees and worship his cock as a thank-you for all that he has done for you. You felt your panties dampen at the thought, and you continued pressing yourself against him.

“You promised me you’d fuck me,” you whispered.

“When I knew you were better. The doctor said you still need to be on bed rest for a few days. That means you’re still healing,” he said demandingly. The grip on your hips was tightening. 

“If you loved me you’d let me ride you.”

He chuckled, “Now you’re just being immature.”

“Is it working?” you grinned, sliding his shirt above his head and palming his abdomen. It felt so warm and rough under your palm. Sometimes you imagined what it would feel like to ride his abs, your clit rubbing against his ridges. 

You yelped as you felt his hand strike you in the ass. “How many times do I have to tell you, my love? You don’t make the rules in this relationship. I’ll fuck you when and where I want.”

“Is that so? ‘Cause ever since I met you, you act like my bitch.”

That seemed to snap something inside him as he swiftly flipped you over on your back. You whined at the loss of control. 

“I get what you’re trying to do, Y/N. You want me to punish you, but if I gave you what you wanted that wouldn’t be a punishment at all, would it?” He began taking off your lounge pants and panties. “You fucking whore, look at how wet you got already.”

He slapped the side of your ass one more, making your thighs clench at the mix of pain and pleasure. He continued, “Is that what you want? Do you want me to slap around my pregnant wife? Fuck you until your mind can barely function and the only word that you can still pronounce is my name?”

You moaned as you felt him begin to play with your clit, “Yes, sir. P-Please, do whatever you want with me. I won’t b-break.” 

“By the time I’m done with you, you will break.” You drooled at how enticing that sounded. You knew how nervous Jay was to go rough with you, but you’ve been so sexually frustrated you were becoming desperate, and you would press all his buttons if it meant he would let himself go.

Now, both of you were rid of your clothes. You placed your arms around your stomach, feeling vulnerable at the feeling of nakedness, but soon enough they were pinned above your head on the mattress. “Don’t act shy now, you were just begging to ride on my cock.”

Your face heated up at the reminder, and you looked at him desperately. Without warning, you felt his tip begin to spread open your folds. It had been so long since you’d felt his cock inside you, that it felt like electricity was running up your spine. 

He began rocking his hips into you. “S-So big,” you mewled. You knew all too well how massive Jay was, but now that he hadn’t fucked you in a few weeks, you felt a burn inside your cunt at the feeling of him stretching you open.

“You missed my cock, yeah? It’s been so long you can barely take me now,” he said in your ear. 

Your legs were wrapped around his waist, and you felt yourself whine as he let go of your hands and sat up, thinking he was going to stop. He sucked his teeth, shaking his head in disappointment at your desperate state. “Be quiet before I make you,” he warned. 

He raised your legs to now be resting on his shoulders and leaned back down to keep plummeting his cock inside you. You were shocked at this new position where you were practically folded over. You could feel his cock so much deeper inside you, and it was practically mind-numbing. 

“I feel y-you so deep in-inside,” you mewled. Gods, you missed the feeling of his cock inside you. You felt so empty without him in your life, both literally and figuratively. 

“Your cunt feels like paradise,” he moaned.

The sounds of his groans in your ear were like the sounds of muses singing. He usually didn’t make a ton of noise while you two had sex, instead staying stoic and focused, but the time away from you seemed to have affected him similarly as it did to you. He felt as though he couldn’t last much longer inside you. 

Your walls clamped around his cock as you felt his tip kiss your cervix. No wonder you got pregnant so quickly when he fucked you like this. It was a surprise he hadn’t gotten you knocked up earlier. 

Jay hadn’t even been able to properly process the fact that his love and devotion to you led to you now bearing his child in your womb. The idea of starting a happy and loving family with you not only filled his heart with warmth but also sent blood rushing to his cock. If you asked, he’d give you however many children that you wanted.

“I love you,” you said shakily, still trembling from his rough thrusts inside your hole. Your body was becoming sore from the position it was in, and you could feel your orgasm coming closer. You wrapped your arms around his back, your nails leaving crescents and scratch marks on his bare back.

Jay placed a kiss on your temple, not seeming phased but the abuse on his back, and whispered, “I love you more.”

You supposed what you two were doing was too rough and intense to be considered making love, but you wanted to take the chance to remind him how much your heart soared for him. 

Your cunt tightened roughly around him as you felt your orgasm wash over you. Your jaw fell and your eyes rolled back at the intensity. 

Shortly after, he spilt himself inside you, coating your walls with his arousal. He pressed his forehead to yours gently, “So good for me, my love.”

“Mr. Park, there is somebody who is trying to enter the premises,” Minseo said hurriedly. 

“What?” Jay felt himself begin to panic. After all the shit he had to deal with earlier, he couldn’t handle the thought of you being in danger again. If there was an intruder, he wasn’t sure what he would do except kill him if he were to try and hurt you. 

“It appears to be your fiancé’s family. They have not said anything about visiting today, so I’m just not sure what you’d like us to do.”

Jay sighed in relief. Thank the Gods. 

“Open the gates, let them in,” he said. He looked over to see your eyes had been lit up and you abruptly stood up to begin running towards the main floor. He found it adorable how excited you were to finally see your sister and father but felt guilty not letting them see you earlier. 

He knew he should have called them while you were in the hospital, but was worried about the news getting out. The media had already gotten a hold of the fact that the CEO of Aphrodite was not him, and not his mother. The news of her going to jail sent a ripple through Olympian society, but as of now the details of why she was arrested were kept under wraps from the public.

He had thought if he said too much to the wrong people, the news about you would come out and he knew how much you wanted your private life to stay private. He didn’t want random people prodding around in your situation and treating it as though it were some drama. 

They were not going to be happy with the things he’d let happen to you, even if he was the reason why their family war was now over. 

When he finally mustered up the courage to face your family, he began to walk downstairs. He was nervous to face your father, but even twice as much, he was afraid to see how your sister reacted. He was convinced she would try to take you away from him and change your mind about forgiving him. 

The sight in front of him filled his heart with warmth. You were wrapped around the arms of your older sister and your father, a comforting and familial embrace. He was often envious of how loving your family was to you compared to how cold and isolating his household was. 

Karina’s arms were wrapped around your shoulders, and she held you as though you would fly away if she let you go. Just as he thought, when Karina opened her eyes and they laid on him, her expression turned to that of fury. 

Her heels clacked on the wooden floor as she walked over to him, and the sound of her palm landing on his cheek echoed through the walls. He could feel his ear ringing from the harshness of her strike. You gasped in shock, but he looked over at you comfortingly, assuring you that it didn’t hurt in the slightest bit, although he wouldn’t be surprised if he woke up with a bruise on his face tomorrow. 

“I told you, bastard!” Karina screamed, her skin becoming red. “I swore that I would kill you if you let anything bad happen to her, so I’m done playing nice,” she pushed him against the chest, although frustrated at how he didn’t budge from his stance. “My sister was almost murdered and it’s all your fault.”

“Karina!” you tried to intervene, but neither your sister nor father could hear through their storm of anger. 

Your father did end up pulling Karina back from mauling Jay to death, but he didn’t look any happier. He sighed, “What on earth is my daughter still doing in your home, Park?”

“Well she’s my wife, so there’s that.”

“Don’t play coy with me,” your father pointed his finger accusatorially at Jay. “You broke off the wedding, I heard of it. Your family has caused me and my daughters never-ending pain, and you have the audacity to keep holding one of them hostage?”

“In case you forgot, if it weren’t for me, you both would be six feet under. I put Aeri in prison before you could do anything about it.”

“She’s your mother, your fucking blood,” Karina seethed. “Why should we think you’re any different than her? For all we know, you’re still the biggest threat to my sister, and I’m never letting you lay a hand on her again.”

“I love your sister. I’ve always loved her, so don’t for a day accuse me of wanting to hurt her.”

“If you cared about her so much, how did she end up in the palms of your mother?”

“Enough!” you cursed. Everyone’s heads spun towards your way, shocked at your harsh tone. “You are talking about me like I’m not in the room with you. Karina, he’s telling the truth. He is the reason why Aeri is no longer a threat, so please, listen to me.”

Karina huffed in annoyance but turned around to continue letting you speak. “I know you two don’t want to accept it, but I love Jay. I love him so much that when I was separated from him it felt like I was broken. If you don’t support it, I understand, but please believe me that Jay isn’t forcing me to do anything.”

Jay’s heartbeat quickened at your admission. After what his mother had done, he was now at the mercy of you constantly having to reassure him that you truly loved him.

“If we don’t support it?” your father asked appallingly. “I can’t even begin to understand what you mean, sweetheart. You didn’t even want to marry him in the beginning.”

“I don’t need you to understand, Dad,” you slowly walked up to your father and looked at him pleadingly. “I don’t want to choose between you and him. I know you think I’m making a mistake, but I trust Jay.”

“He killed a man in your house,” Karina barked.

“To protect me!” you retorted. 

Your father snapped his head to face Karina and asked, “What? Who hurt her? Why wasn’t I made aware of this?” Your heart fell as you realised that Karina probably didn’t tell your father not to worry him, given how little he could do to help you. 

Karina spoke up, “It was her old bodyguard. He assaulted Y/N and Jay ended up killing him. I admit, I would’ve done the same, but this doesn’t change what he has done.” The tone of Karina’s voice made you think that the only reason Jay was not dead was because of you. 

“You let a man in this house that hurt my little girl?” your father clenched his fists as though he was preparing to punch Jay slack across the jaw. 

Jay stared him down, not showing any sign of fear. “I will never stop apologising for letting that monster near her, nor will I forgive myself for allowing my mother to do what she did to her. I would walk the ends of this earth to atone for this, but it’s up to Y/N to forgive me, not you.”

You looked at him as though to say, I forgave you, baby. I forgave you a long time ago. 

“This is insane,” Karina said frustratingly. 

Your father sighed, sending a murderous glare towards Jay. “I suppose you’re right. If I had it my way, you’d have been in prison like your wretched mother, but I love my daughter.”

“Dad!” Karina said in shock. How could he just let this happen?

He looked over at you and placed a warm hand on your shoulder, eyes swimming in concern and worry, “If this bastard does even one more thing to jeopardise your safety, I can’t promise you I will hold back.”

Jay stood completely still, knowing in his head he was making the same threat to himself. He couldn’t imagine ever forgiving himself if he let one more thing hurt you. 

You nodded in understanding. Although your father was saying all this, he could feel the love between you two. Perhaps it’s why he was more accepting of the relationship than Karina, who had yet to experience a life-changing love like yours.  

“I’m going home,” Karina said through her clenched teeth. You walked up to her and wrapped your arms around her. You understood she would need some time to get over her distrust of Jay, so you didn’t want to make her more upset by arguing. She placed a gentle hand on your back, “I always have a room for you in my apartment, understand? I will be there for anything, just give me a call.”

You placed a gentle kiss on her cheek. “I’m sorry for not calling earlier. I was supposed to be on bed rest, and I wasn’t sure where my phone was—,” you were cut off by the feeling of Karina lightly slapping your shoulder.

“You should be sorry,” she pouted, “Never leave me hanging like that. I couldn’t breathe for the last few days when I didn’t know what was going on with you.”

As Karina and your father began to leave, Jay called out to them. “You two should stay for dinner.”

You looked over at him, confused at his suggestion, but Jay just grinned warmly at you. If he was planning on marrying you for real this time, he needed your family to at least tolerate him. Surely both of you couldn’t have bad relationships with the in-laws, and he knew how much you loved your sister and father, so he placed his first step into his plan of getting closer to them. 

You were standing in front of the lush king mattress, unpacking all your vacation clothes and necessities. It had been two months since all the drama with you and Jay’s families, and he decided to take you on a summer trip to help forget everything, even if it was for a little while.

The island was hot, and the sand on the beach in front of your hotel room was pale and glistening. You had brought mostly loose summer dresses, partially because it was the most convenient thing to wear ever since your bump began to grow, as well as the fact that Jay always thought you looked delectable in floral sundresses. 

It probably helped that some of them were practically see-through, giving him a clear look at the swimsuits underneath. You smirked at the thought of making him struggle to contain himself throughout your trip. 

As you were about to take out your last bit of clothes, you felt a strong set of hands wrap around your waist. Jay brushed your head to the side and began placing pecks on the back of your neck. “Hi, my love,” he said.

Although he had told you the reason he wanted to take you here was to relax and forget the worries of your life, in actuality he thought of this trip as a pre-honeymoon, before your wedding. 

He had to remember that although you two were together again, and he still called you his wife, the state of your relationship wasn’t all too clear. 

He called off your marriage to give you the freedom to pursue something in the future, but now he knew you loved him, and he trusted that nothing would come between that. He wasn’t going to propose to you during the trip, as he wanted to wait and maybe get the blessing of your sister and your father which was probably going to take a while.

Either way, while you were lounging around, running around in the sun and swimming in the water, he had to make a plan on how to propose to you again. Properly this time.

[dannyricsmirrorball]

f1 challengers smau! ੈ✩‧₊˚ 🎾🏎️

george russell x reader x alex albon

OR

charles leclerc x reader x pierre gasly

sorry for being MIA i’m just busy w school but eee i was rewatching challengers and this idea came to me,, i was planning on a galex x reader one but im not sure if everyone would prefer piarles x reader (lmk pls! but i think im leaning towards george and alex)

basically the reader is tashi and was recognised as one of the biggest young talents coming through motorsports (like young max verstappen vibes), she was really fast and climbing through the ranks in karting and f2 and befriended george and alex (eventually dating one of them) and made it to formula 1 the same year as the 2019 rookies but then sustained an injury from a crash with one of the boys,, that depends on who is who. i’m not sure if i want alex to be patrick and george be art, or the opposite (also lmk ur opinions pls!).

im thinking alex as patrick just so i can do the whole them not seeing each other for so long through him being dropped by red bull and just extend the period of time it took for him to reach williams and then him coming back is them all reuniting and leading to present day. anyways basically same premise as the movie obv,, reader and (probably) george are in a long term relationship (rather than married) and (probably) alex comes back onto the scene in the williams seat which gags everyone and then yk kinda same premise as movie.

also if george is the art character then reader would be toto’s daughter (wolff!reader) to really emphasise that like power couple thing art and tashi had going on in the media, like mercedes golden boy and girl!

also can you just imagine the galex angst! childhood best friends to strangers </3.

i wish i was patient enough or had enough time to actually write this series and not just make a social media au, but if any writers are invested enough and would write this then feel free to just take this idea bc i’d love to read it and you’d probably do it more justice then i will hahah! 🎾💌🏎️🦢

[kamaluhkhan]

ours are the moments i play in the dark

pairing: conrad fisher x fem!reader

summary: you come back to cousins beach after a few years away. conrad is not particularly happy that you're back - and you aren't particularly thrilled, either. too bad there's a history (chemistry?) neither of you can deny.

warnings: ANGST (im so sorry in advance...); flashback is from conrad's POV and the rest is from reader's perspective; mentions of sex + losing virginities (nothing too detailed/graphic); reader has an ex who's referred to with gender neutral pronouns; reader and other characters drink alcohol (pomegranate margaritas ;) ); hints of alcoholism (reader's mother); jealous reader who's trying her best; pining conrad who's a bit of a jerk; reader and conrad fight A Lot (they will make up eventually i promise!!)

tags: @stargirlsirius-recs, @ifilwtmfc, @qwertyb2577, @allnrsnz, @baconeggndcheez, @peanutbelley, @imogen-skye, @geekinthefuschiahair, @tvije, @drikawinchester, @maybankslover, @junnniiieee07, @elcpsstuff, @fangirl-kimora, @redbierd, @starkeylover

a/n: thank you so much for all the love on my conrad series so far! i love these characters and writing their stories, and it means so much that others are enjoying reading my work. there is one more part left and i promise it will be happier so stay tuned :)) i haven't watched the last two episodes of season 2, but i'm planning on writing a bit for that, too!! thank you x infinity ♡

part one | part two

i lost a friend / like keys in a sofa / like a wallet in the backseat / like ice in the summer heat (finneas, "i lost a friend")

now — summer, age 18

“you know, you guys aren’t fooling anyone.”

“and what exactly do you mean by that, steven?” you challenge, taking another sip of your soda. 

it’s the fourth of july and susannah invited you over for her annual celebration. susannah always hosted fun parties, so you were more than happy to accept because it meant eating some good food, listening to an upbeat playlist, watching some fireworks, and just relaxing. essentially, susannah always delivered the best of summer, rolled into a carefully planned event. 

the sun was shining, and everyone was having a good time, including you — at least, until you saw conrad and nicole in the pool, engaging in some serious PDA. you immediately got out of the pool and went to sulk near the drink table, where you were happily alone until steven came over to join you.

“i’m just saying, man. you and con are definitely going out of your way to prove that you’re mad at each other,” steven explains. “but we all know how much you care about each other.”

steven is right about the first part: you and conrad had done your best to avoid each other since the incident at nicole’s party and its fallout. if you and jeremiah had planned to go surfing and he invited conrad, you would always back out at the last minute. if you were over at the fishers helping belly pick out an outfit for a date with cam, conrad would conveniently stay in his room. not to mention, any time the two of you did cross paths — which was rare, but jeremiah and belly were persistent in requesting that all five of you spend time together, like the old days, they would say — it resulted in meaningless, petty arguments. the two of you had always been competitive and very comfortable teasing each other, but the difference was that now, your interactions were no longer good-natured.

you thought steven, belly, and jeremiah hadn’t noticed, but you should have given them more credit. to anyone who knew you, it was pretty obvious that something was up between you and conrad, even if they didn’t know what exactly it was.

“there’s a thin line between love and hate. and right now you guys are that line.”

“thank you for your insight,” you say sarcastically. “be sure to include that in your college essay — i’m sure princeton would love to have you.”

steven rolls his eyes at you, just as nicole arrives at the drink table.

“hey guys,” she greets. she reaches over to grab two cans of peach iced tea before you stop her. 

“conrad’s allergic to peaches,” you say. “so you might wanna get him something else.”

nicole looks at you for a second before nodding and reaching for a can of sprite instead. 

“thanks,” she says as she walks away. 

once she’s gone, steven gives you a pointed look.

“what?” you scoff. 

steven just shakes his head. “love and hate,” he muses, leaving you to join his parents and shayla near the pool. 

you then decide to go inside briefly, where you find belly and jeremiah, pouring vodka into a blender.

“we’re making pomegranate margaritas!” belly exclaims, practically giddy. 

“well, you gotta use the good blender for that.” conrad seems to appear out of nowhere from behind you, instantly reaching for the aforementioned good blender and placing it on the counter.

you were already in a sour mood from seeing him with nicole earlier, but belly looks at you with hopeful eyes, and you remember what steven said earlier, so you mentally promise that you would play nice with conrad. you owe belly and the others that much after being absent for so long: a carefree summer, just like the ones you used to know. 

you imagine that jeremiah sent conrad a similar pleading look because, miraculously, you and conrad don’t argue with each other as you help mix pomegranate margaritas for everyone. you actually engage in playful banter and laugh at the other’s jokes. you even feel sorry for him when his father, who wasn’t supposed to be here, walks in. you can feel the good mood slipping, so you suggest heading to the beach for a change of scenery.

belly had invited cam and a few more girls who are doing the debutante thing with her, and with steven bringing shayla and conrad bringing nicole (which, you are totally fine with, of course, especially after a pomegranate margarita), you had a pretty solid party forming on the beach, away from the adults. 

of all people, belly suggests some drinking games. it’s all a blur of sand, laughter, and vodka spiked fruit juice. once you were all the perfect amount of tired and tipsy, the group settles down, and gigi suggests a different game.

“we should play truth or dare.”

“oh my gosh we should!” belly smiles, tapping your leg enthusiastically. “remember? we used to play it all the time!”

you smile back. “of course i do.” 

when you were kids, you, belly, steven, jeremiah, and conrad would play truth or dare any chance you got. it was never very serious, mostly goofy pranks and harmless questions. you had all grown up since then, and somewhere along the way, truth or dare had become less innocent than it used to be.

“y/n,” one of the debs — dara, if you remembered correctly — turns to you. it was the first time your name had been called, and in all honesty, you were perfectly happy just sitting back in the sun and sipping the rest of your drink. “truth or dare?” 

you choose truth, mostly to avoid having to get up from your very comfortable seat on the sand.

“are you a virgin?”

your mouth suddenly feels dry. you’re not ashamed of your answer, but it doesn’t help that you can see conrad glaring at you from the corner of your eye. you take another sip of your drink before answering. 

“um, not really.” 

“it’s yes or no question,” nicole says. 

“then my answer’s no,” you declare.

“what?” belly screeches. she sits up straighter to turn towards you, and in the process spills some pomegranate margarita on her dress. “i can’t believe you had sex and didn’t tell me? when? with who? what was it like?” her cheeks are slightly flushed. a sober belly would have likely asked you in private, or at the very least, not in front of people you barely knew. in that moment, you almost regret the pomegranate margaritas.

almost. because maybe it’s the silence and everyone’s expectant stares, or the adrenaline you feel from winning most of the drinking games, or the effects of the drinks themselves, but you convince yourself that it’s as good a time as any to tell the story. a sober you would have known to tread more carefully given the context; that would have been about three pomegranate margaritas ago, though. 

“it’s kind of a cliche story, honestly,” you start. “it happened last summer. it was raining that night, so we were hanging out in the back of my teammate’s van, just talking, and one thing led to another….we didn’t plan to do anything, but we got caught in the heat of the moment.” you choose your words carefully, deliberately avoiding eye contact with conrad.

“how was it though?” belly asks, leaning in closer.

you shrug. “a little awkward, i guess? neither of us had sex before then, and we were both figuring stuff out. like, he couldn’t open the condom wrapper because he was so flustered, so i had to help him. it was nice, though,” you admit. “when the rain cleared, we went out to stargaze and fell asleep on the beach.”

belly sighs. “so romantic.”

“you’re right about it being cliche,” steven laughs. he has an arm thrown around shayla, and uses the other to gesture towards conrad. “conrad, man, that sounds almost exactly like your first time.”

you feel your entire body heat up, and it's not because of the sun shining down on you. conrad’s gaze finally meets yours — for a split second only, but it’s enough for steven to notice. 

“holy shit! it all makes sense now!” steven exclaims, suddenly standing up.

jeremiah frowns, looking between you, conrad, and steven. “what makes sense?”

“i’ve been trying to figure out why y/n and conrad have been so weird around each other this summer, but it’s obvious now: they lost their virginities to each other. they had sex!”

nicole stiffens and narrows her eyes at conrad. “you told me you never hooked up with y/n.”

“well, that’s definitely not true.”

“belly,” you warn, looking over to conrad once more. his cheeks are turning red, and you imagine a storm brewing beneath his dark blue eyes. 

“i don’t know about last summer,” belly continues, completely oblivious to the tension building. “but i do know that they kissed at your party.”

“i knew it,” nicole scoffs, pushing away from conrad. “i knew it.” with one last poisonous glare towards conrad, she storms off.

conrad sends you an equally poisonous look before chasing after her. the party dissolves shortly after.

feeling defeated, you lie back in the sand, close your eyes, and let the sun shine down on you once more, taking deep breaths to slow down your heart rate.

call it karma or a cruel twist of fate or just a really shitty coincidence, but you’re finally the one left alone on the beach.

then — summer, age 17

conrad was more than a little surprised to see your name appear on his phone. it wasn't like you were completely off the grid — you texted, though infrequently, and followed each other on socials. he scrolled through his instagram feed and saw the occasional picture of you wearing a costume at a halloween party or sipping hot chocolate on a snowy day. photos that never quite fit the image he had of you in his mind: in cutoff denim shorts and a swimsuit and layers of sunscreen, with sand in your hair and popsicle stains on your lips.

“hey,” he answered after only three rings. 

"hey fisher, any friday night plans?"

he told you he was working on his college essay.

“homework on a friday night in the middle of summer,” you tsked. “i never realized how much of a nerd you are.”

conrad laughed. “i mean, that’s on you for just realizing that.”

 “fair enough,” you hummed, and conrad could practically hear your smile through the phone. “if you’re in the mood for something more fun, look out your window.”

conrad wasn’t quite sure what to expect, but you standing in the driveway of his summer house was pretty low on the list. you waved at him frantically, telling him to hurry up and open his window.

he was still in awe as you climbed through. conrad tried to memorize the image of you then and there, standing in front of him in his bedroom: wearing dolphin shorts and a light jacket, with chipped turquoise nail polish and a bright smile.

"you drove all the way here?" 

"well, they haven't cracked the science behind teleportation yet," you say playfully. "so i didn't have many options."

"i can't believe you're here," conrad smiled, and that’s when you finally hugged him. he held on tightly, afraid you would leave at any moment if he let go. you smelled the same, like chlorine and vanilla sugar.

once you broke away from the hug, you pointed towards something behind him, pinned to his bulletin board. conrad followed your gaze and felt his cheeks heat up.

“i missed you, too, connie,” you teased, eyes lingering on the newspaper clipping of your swim team making it to nationals thanks to your record time. 

“mom showed it to me,” he explained, the smile on your face making his heart beat out of his chest. “she’s so proud of her little mermaid.”

your smile fell, just a bit, but enough for conrad to notice a shift in your mood. you always did a good job at hiding the weight of the world on your shoulders, at least around the others. not so much around him.

you sighed and sat down on his bed. “you know, after that swim meet, my dad lectured me about not being fast enough,” you explained. “winning by only a millisecond apparently wasn’t enough to impress college scouts, at least according to him.”

“your dad’s a jerk,” conrad said instantly. he sat down next to you. “and an idiot, if he can’t see how amazing you are.”

“thanks, connie,” you whispered. it looked like you were going to say more; instead, you picked up his laptop. “wow, you weren’t kidding when you said you were working on your college essay. you really are a nerd.”

“shut up,” conrad laughed, nudging you with his shoulder and trying to grab the laptop from you.

you nudged him back. “it’s a compliment! schools go crazy for trust fund nerds.”

“yeah, yeah.” conrad waved you off. “so, you’re in cousins for the summer?”

all you did was smile softly and close the laptop, finally handing it back to him.

conrad’s heart burst with joy. because not only were you there — finally there, after all that time away — but you were staying. his mom would always muse about summers in cousins being magical, but conrad didn’t quite believe her until you were gone and he felt that magic fade away. 

“do you wanna go downstairs? belly’s watching it happened one night with my mom and laurel.”

“as much as i love susannah’s favourite movie,” you started, and conrad’s heart soared again at you remembering his mom’s favourite movie. “i thought maybe it could just be the two of us tonight? maybe we could go for a drive.”

that’s how the two of you ended up at mermaid grove — a secluded stretch of beach about an hour away from your houses. it was near the mall your mothers sometimes went to, and during one of those excursions when you were young, all the kids wandered off and found it. the only time you’d been there was during the day and with jeremiah, belly, steven, and your siblings, so it felt different then, at night with just the two of you.

it started raining on the drive over — which only took 45 minutes without traffic — so you were hanging out in the back of your van. the van actually belonged to one of your teammate’s cousin who was somewhat of a hippie, you said, which explained the smell of weed and bohemian decor — battery powered rainbow fairy lights, colourful pillows, an elaborately patterned tapestry. the space was definitely intimate, or maybe it felt that way because you and conrad were sitting as close as possible to each other, shoulders touching and one of your legs tangled with his. he was scrolling through the pictures on your phone of your last swim meet in california, where you'd gotten the chance to visit stanford, while you were peeling an orange. 

"you would love it there, connie,” you gushed. you dug your fingers into the orange peel, and the smell of citrus started to fill the air. “the beaches are beautiful and the waves are amazing. it’s like, always summer.” 

conrad sometimes felt like summer was the only season of the year that he was truly awake, truly living. everything else felt like a dream, one that he would always describe to you in mundane detail; conrad even kept a small journal throughout the year, writing things down that he needed to tell you once you reunited every june. but one journal had turned to two, almost three, and conrad was trying really hard to not resent you for that.

“anyways, i think i’m going to apply in the fall.”

conrad stopped scrolling through your phone, pausing at a picture you had taken of a lemon tree. “doesn’t your dad have princeton lined up?”

“you make it sound like he bought my way in, when it was actually hours and hours and hours of training to get that scholarship. on the national best swim team.” you mimicked your father’s patronising tone for that last part; conrad hadn’t seen him in years, and he could still recognize it. 

“you’re right, though. my dad would flip his shit. even if i got in with a scholarship, it’s so far away and i have the twins to look after, but a girl can dream, right?”

“i feel that,” conrad assured. you gave him a sad smile, knowing that his dad was as intense about football as yours was about swimming. the worst part was that you both loved your respective sports, until they became a burden. you both had other burdens to deal with, too, when it came to your families. 

“in an ideal world, the two of us wouldn’t have to worry about anything else. we’d live in a place by the beach, surf every day, and hang out in the sun while sipping ice-cold, fresh lemonade.” just like we used to, conrad added in his head.

“in an ideal world,” you agreed. “we’d also adopt four dogs, each named after one of the beatles. you can teach them how to play the guitar.”

conrad laughed. “if i couldn’t teach you, there is no way i can teach one dog, let alone four.”

“well, they wouldn’t get distracted by your dreamy blue eyes like i did.” you winked at conrad, and handed him the freshly peeled orange before he even had time to blush.

“take it,” he protested. “you drove all this way — you should eat something.”

you shook your head and placed the orange in his hand before you pulled out another fruit from your bag. “i picked some of these up on the way here — best peaches on the east coast.” you took a big bite. “remember the summer we found out that you had a mild peach allergy?” you asked, juice dripping down your chin. you wiped it with the sleeve of the varsity jacket you wore.

conrad laughed at the memory. belly and steven had brought back candy from their trip to toronto. conrad practically inhaled an entire bag of fuzzy peaches, and didn’t realize that they weren’t supposed to make your mouth itchy — the “fuzzy” part wasn’t literal. that felt like so long ago, but there you and conrad were, settling back into each other like no time had passed.

as the night grew darker, you and conrad shifted closer to each other. conrad ate orange slice after orange slice as you devoured your peach, all while looking through the photos on your phone. you’d occasionally interject with a short story or comment, and there were still raindrops falling on the roof, but for the most part, there was nothing but a comfortable silence between you. 

you moved to wrap the orange peel and peach pit in a napkin, just as conrad swiped onto a photo of someone kissing your cheek.

“who’s that?”

you leaned over to check. “oh. that’s sam.”

“are you dating?” conrad asked, trying to seem casual about it. just a friend asking another friend about their romantic situation. as a friend. 

“we were,” you explained, sitting back next to him. “they broke up with me a few months ago.”

conrad sighed in relief, which he hoped you didn’t notice. “sorry.”

you shrugged. “it’s fine. apparently i’m emotionally distant.”

that wasn’t much of a surprise to conrad. sam might have been an idiot for breaking up with you, but they were spot on with the emotionally distant part. out of all the time you’d known each other, conrad had only seen you cry once, maybe twice. you were usually the one wiping away tears and putting on a brave face, inadvertently, or maybe purposefully, hiding your own vulnerability. 

still, that wasn’t something conrad was about to stir up.

“what? you?” he joked instead.

“shut up,” you said, rolling your eyes, but the wry smile on your face gave you away. “how about you? broke any hearts this past year?”

conrad thought for a moment. there was aubrey, who his football teammate said had a major crush on him. they had been texting for a while now, and were on the edge of maybe becoming something. but then, there you were, stirring up feelings conrad had long buried — or, at least, tried to. if part of his head was always in summer, then part of his heart always belonged to you. 

“no.”

“got your heart broken?”

he thought back to a few weeks ago, when he ran into your mom at the grocery store, and she said you wouldn’t be coming to cousins again that summer. you hadn’t spoken at all to each other for a month or two before that.

“no,” he lied.

you hummed, and took your phone away from him. 

“wanna hear something trippy?” you asked suddenly. you always had a knack for changing the course of a conversation to where you wanted it to go.

“what?”

“well, since it takes a while for light from space to reach us, when we stargaze, we’re actually looking back in time. like, the star that’s closest to earth — other than the sun — is four light years away. or is it five?” you paused. “anyways, if the sky was clear and we could see that star, it would mean we’d actually be looking at that star from summer, five years ago.”

“very trippy,” conrad agreed. “it’s like a cosmic time machine.”

you hummed. “do you ever wonder what our past selves back then, at like 12 or 13, would think of us now? i think about those summers and how magical they felt.” 

magical. you turned to smile at him softly, and conrad couldn't help but agree.

“i always thought you’d be my first kiss,” you whispered. 

that threw conrad off guard, and it took him a few seconds to regain balance. the van suddenly felt too small and the lingering scent of fruit shared between you two, mixed with the familiar smell of chlorine and vanilla from how close you were sitting to him, became overwhelming. his heart was beating out of his chest — not because he didn’t feel the same way, but because he did.

conrad knew what his 13 year old self would think of him now: he’d be up in arms over his awkward pause, screaming to finally tell you how he felt then, and how those feelings hadn’t really left. how you made him feel safe, excited, confused and angry. how there was a space in his heart just for you, and it was painfully empty when you left, but now that you’re there again —

“sorry,” you said, cutting through the silence. you subtly shifted away from conrad. “i didn’t mean to make things weird.”

“you didn’t,” conrad answered instantly. he registered how you were now slightly hunched over and brought your knees to your chest, how you bit your lip and avoided eye contact — a few hints that you felt uncomfortable, deflated even at his lack of response. 

so, he moved closer to you and gently placed a hand on your knee. 

“you didn’t make things weird,” conrad assured once more. you were brave, he decided: for a lot of things you did, but right then for being so honest, so vulnerable. it inspired him to do the same. “i mean, this might make things weird, but i always thought you’d be my first…you know. at least, ever since i knew what sex even was.”

you finally turned towards him, your lips slightly parted. 

“yeah,” you breathed. “me too.”

conrad’s eyes flicked to your lips, then back to your eyes. 

“do you still want to —”

“yes. i - i mean, no pressure, but if you still want to —”

“i do.”

you smiled then and conrad felt himself do the same. 

when you kissed for the first time, it was like rainclouds parted and the stars came out, shining bright in infinite darkness. the two of you became tangled up in each other: you sat in his lap, legs on either side of his waist, your chests pressed together and your fingers tangled in his hair, which drove him crazy. conrad let his hands explore your body, gently grazing the skin under your shirt. his lips tingled from the remnants of peach juice on yours, but he kept kissing you. 

it was awkward and exhilarating at the same time. you asked each other if what you were doing felt good and right and were slightly embarrassed if the answer was no, but still adjusted if needed. at one point, conrad was fumbling with the condom wrapper and you had to open it with your teeth; he jokingly pointed out how you used to do the same with packs of sour patch kids and you giggled before kissing him again.

the two of you lay down on the floor once you were done. your head rested on conrad’s chest and he had his arm around you, idly tracing shapes on your skin with his fingertips. he craned his neck down to look at you.

even in the dim lighting and after years apart, you looked the same. even if you’d never been that close before, at least not in the same way you had just been, you felt familiar. 

you tilted you head towards him and smiled. 

“what?” 

there was something about the way you looked at him that still made him blush, and conrad hoped that with the lack of bright light, you wouldn’t notice. 

“sounds like the rain stopped,” he said. “wanna go stargazing?”

it was slightly chilly, so you let conrad borrow your varsity jacket, even if it didn’t fit perfectly. the sky was clear and full of stars. you spent the rest of the night there together, on the beach. 

in the morning, conrad woke up before you. he watched as you took slow, deep breaths with your eyes still closed. you looked so peaceful — until the sound of your alarm prompted you to wake up.

“shit,” you exhaled, your eyes wide once you noticed the sun had risen. “what time is it?” 

you searched frantically for your phone, only to find it right next to you.

“shit,” you repeated once you checked the time. you stood up right away, sand kicking from underneath your feet. “this is bad.”

“what —”

conrad didn’t have time to even ask you what was wrong because you bolted to the van. he followed you.

“what’s wrong?”

you looked at conrad, brows furrowed. “i have to go. i don’t want to leave you, but i have to go.”

“it’s okay,” conrad reassured. he stepped closer to you and placed a hand on your cheek. “i’ll be here when you get back.”

“i’m…” you step away from him. “i’m not coming back.”

“what do you mean?” he tried to steady his voice, but a dangerous mix of hurt and anger threatened to wash over him. conrad’s heart dropped, knowing all too well what was likely coming next, but he hoped, wished, that it wouldn’t be like before.

“i’ve got a swim meet in boston,” you exhaled. “but i can drive you home on my way there.”

“you’ll come back to cousins after,” conrad declared, as if saying it out could change what would happen next. “you said you’d be here for the summer.” 

you shrugged, stumbling over your words. “technically, i didn’t say that. you just assumed and — ”

“and you wanted me to believe it, right?”

you closed your eyes and took a deep breath. “just — let me drive you home, connie.”

the use of his childhood nickname — the one he secretly despised, except when it came from you — was what made him snap.

“i should have known,” he snarled. “god, i should have known. you don’t care about me, about us. swimming over everything, right?”

“that’s not true.” your eyes opened, but you still wouldn’t meet his gaze. “i do care, but you know the pressure i’m under —”

“fine. you want to talk about pressure?” conrad laughed, bitterly, all his frustration bleeding out and pooling at your feet. “my mom had cancer, and you couldn’t even be there for me. texts and phone calls only do so much when you’re watching the woman who raised you wither away to nothing.”

your eyes softened slightly, finally looking at him. you took a step forward, but conrad took another two back. 

“conrad —”

 “no. don’t,” he snapped, making you stop. “why did you even come here?”

“i was close by and…” you paused. “i guess i just needed to come back, even just for a bit.” 

"figures," conrad scoffed. “you only care when it’s convenient.” 

“that’s not true,” you repeated. 

conrad waited a second for you say something more, but you didn’t. 

“well, i’m really glad you got what you needed,” he mocked. “tell me, does nostalgia and sex help you swim faster? impress college scouts? make daddy proud of you?” 

you stiffened slightly. “don’t be an asshole.”

“no, no. congratulations!” he clapped to emphasize his point. “i’m so glad i could help you! guess you just needed a quick fuck before your big competition for some good luck. hope it works out in your favour.”

there was so much venom laced in his words, and he could tell you noticed. you looked at him like he was a stranger. 

“fuck you,” you finally said. your voice was shaking slightly and it looked like tears were forming in your eyes. “you can walk home, for all i care.” 

without another word, you got into the car and drove away. conrad watched your car become smaller in the distance as he stood alone at the beach, wearing your jacket and replaying every word he said.

now 

it’s hours after susannah’s fourth of july celebration. the adrenaline and alcohol from early wore off, and you’re sitting on your front porch, sipping tea from your favourite mug. you were hoping to relax, but the sight of conrad fisher storming up to you threatens that.

“where do you get off, saying what you did earlier?” 

even under the low light of the porch, you can see that his face is red with anger. he came here to argue, but you’re too tired to really care.

“well, shit, conrad,” you sigh. “don’t blame me. blame — blame truth or dare and pomegranate margaritas and steven for being so goddamn perceptive.” 

“you lied,” he accuses, crossing his arms. “you said you didn’t tell belly about us kissing at nicole’s party.”

“at least i didn’t lie to my girlfriend,” you point out, your voice dull from exhaustion. conrad is momentarily at a loss for words, furrowing his brow even further, so you decide to steer the conversation in another direction — away. “look, i just had to pick up my drunk mother from the bar, so i’m really not in the mood for this conversation.”

you move to leave, but conrad grabs your left wrist before you reach the door. the sudden action startles you, and you release the mug you were holding in your right hand. it falls to the ground, the break clean, and the rest of your tea spills onto the porch. you exhale sharply, turning back to face conrad.

“i don’t care,” he snaps. “you fucked up earlier today. you never should have mentioned that night. talking about it like it actually meant something to you.”

“you know what, conrad? maybe it’s hard for you to believe, but that night actually meant something to me.” you laugh bitterly, feeling more awake than before. “and, yeah, now i’ve spent so much time regretting it. because maybe i hoped that we’d start dating, but even if that didn’t happen, i never expected to lose my best friend.”

conrad rolls his eyes. “i don’t know how you can stand there and call me your best friend. best friends don’t leave each other —”

“fine, i did leave,” you interrupt. your voice is slightly raised, and you can’t help but feel a new rush of adrenaline flowing through your veins. the fact that conrad is standing in front of you, suggesting that you were the one to blame for the hostility between you — that made you frustrated, angry, even. 

“i had other shit going on,” you continue. “and maybe i didn’t handle the situation well at first — that’s on me, sure. but i wasn’t the one who ignored texts and sent calls straight to voicemails. i’m not the one who’s spending the summer avoiding everyone who knows them because they’re too scared of others finding out the truth. i don’t know who you are this summer, but i know the real you, conrad.”

“no, you don’t.”

by now, you’ve walked closer, standing only a few inches in front of him. if you reached out, you’d be able to brush the bangs away from his forehead, but you don’t. 

“i do know you,” you assert. “in fact, i hate how much i know you. i know that “yesterday” by the beatles is your favourite song, and the first one you learned on the guitar. i know that you’re crazy good at chess, but let jeremiah win sometimes when your dad is watching. i know that you love playing football, but hate that you’re expected to play it. i know that i hurt you last year, so you had to ignore me because that was easier than admitting how you really feel because — because you’re scared.” 

“you’re wrong.” conrad stares at you, his gaze heavy on yours. 

you shake your head. “i know that you didn’t tell anyone about what happened between us because it meant something to you. and that really scares you, too.” 

“you’re…you’re wrong.” conrad’s voice wavers a bit, his eyes soften ever so slightly, and you know you’ve struck a chord. 

“i’m not,” you say. “and, honestly? i’m so fucking tired of waiting for you to realize that. i don’t care anymore. whatever was between us during all those summers, it's obviously not here anymore."

“you’re wrong,” he’s like a broken record, stuck on the same lyric. 

"stop blaming me for fucking this up," you continue. "it's your mess, too, conrad. and i’m so fucking tired."

it’s late, and it’s dark, and you can’t bring yourself to stay here anymore. without saying anything else, you step over the broken porcelain of your favourite mug and into your house, leaving conrad alone on your poorly lit porch.

when the sun rises and you go outside in the morning, the pieces are gone. 

[eliciana]

Reverse SAGAU: The Weird Door At My Café

-> Chapter 1(Here)| Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | ...

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Hello everyone, pls don't expect much from this chapter,which is going to be part of a series, will be that good. I may have grammatical errors and wrong spellings so please don't hesitate to tell me in the comments about it. English is not my main language. Also, I write some very descriptive and long scenes about what the reader does because i got used to writing descriptive essays so please bear with the long paragraphs and sentences. Thank you.

And yes, I'm back. Also the Misunderstanding series will be updated after my exams this is just in my drafts and I wanted to just upload it.

-Eli

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Tw: Reverse!Isekai!Sagau, Normal Au, Café Au, a bit of cussing like this bit 🤏.

Reader: Gn!Reader, Adult!Reader, Café Owner!Reader

Characters: Reader

Note: Restaurant to Another World animanga inspired au. You can slide into my dms (😝 im joking bro) if you ever want to be tagged in my works just tell me what series you want to be tagged in or all of them. thank you <3.

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You close your eyes and think back to that very fateful day — the day that entirely altered your life's course and shatter any semblance of normalcy you once knew. The memory is etched in your mind, clear and vivid. The secret your café had.

You had always dreamed of owning your very own café when you get older. It had always consumed your thoughts and fueled your ambitions. Doing everything you can to be able to make your dream come true. It was a dream that guided you through your highs and lows, the setbacks and triumphs, and now, your very own cafe is now right infront of your eyes. You stand awe, gazing upon your newly built dream café that represents your years of hard work and dedication. It almost feels surreal. The weight of such an accomplishment settles in your shoulders, filling with a sense of pride that it threatens to burst out of your chest.

The obstacles and challenges you faced along the way have not gone unnoticed. The countless hours of planning, the sacrifices made, the hurdles overcome—each scar and battle wound a testament to your unwavering determination. They have shaped you into the person you are today, a person who is standing on the precipice of their own extraordinary creation. In this moment, you can't help but reflect on how far you have come. You just want to curl up into a ball and cry for how proud you are for yourself.

As you approach the door to your café, your hand trembles with anticipation. You grasp the smooth handle, feeling the coolness of the metal against your palm, and slowly turn it. The door swung open, emitting a soft creak that pierced the silence. Above it, a small, quaint bell dangled delicately, waiting to be disturbed. The cascade of delicate notes wove together seamlessly, announcing your presence, like a whispered greeting to anyone who would listen.

You stare in awe and wonder at the interior design of your cafe , captivated by it's beauty. The space exceeds your imagination and sketches, each detail meticulously brought to life. You explore every corner, your eyes eager to take in every detail. The plants you selected with great care breathe life into the space, their vibrant green leaves adding a touch of freshness and enhancing the cozy, warm aura you envisioned. Sunlight steams through the windows, casting a golden glow that illuminates upon your carefully handpicked furniture, adding a touch of charm. Every detail, from the placement of tables and chairs to the color palette and textures and to the shelf placed at the wall behind the counter with small sized standees of genshin impact, comes together harmoniously, painting a reality that is more beautiful than it was in your imagination.

You took one last look at your own café, only to catch sight of a door that had seemingly materialized out of thin air. It wasn't in your sketches, nor was it part of the layout you had memorized. How could something so out of place suddenly appear in your beloved café? How weird. You were sure that when you went inside this café it was never there. It was on the opposite side of the front entrance door of your café. It had a very different kind of design from the doors you had. How weird . Were you perhaps hallucinating? Was your stress and sleep deprivation finally getting to you? You resort to pinching and slapping your cheeks in an attempt to jolt yourself back to reality. Nope. You can still see it. You rushed to go outside of your café. As you step out into the open, your eyes scanning the exterior, you're met with a surprising revelation—the door you saw inside your café is nowhere to be found. It's as if it had vanished into thin air, leaving you bewildered and questioning your senses.

Nonetheless, you breathed a heavy sigh of relief and once again went inside of your café, blaming your hallucination to your stress. However, as your eyes scanned the interior again, you saw the door still there.

'Oh, hell no.' You thought and quickly opened the front door again, took a look at the exterior, look at the door inside, and continued doing that action for a minute. Yup, you're officialy hallucinating.

You looked at the strange door and felt a nagging feeling of curiousity wanting to try and open that door. Maybe it was actually a big ass sticker that one of the builders placed as a prank. You never know. Steeling yourself, you went closer to the door on your tippy toes. Carefully trying to be quiet. Why? You don't know. You just knew you had to. Maybe it was an instinct of yours. You were now infront of the door and you tried reaching for the door knob still thinking it was a sticker but the coolness feeling in your hands said uno reverse. You abruptly took back your hand in shock. You stared down at the atrocity in front of you. You quickly raised your foot and took off your shoes/heel/slipper and held onto it tightly. Preparing yourself to open the door, you took in a deep breath and reached for the door knob once more. Twisting it open, a ray of sunlight shone through the small crack as you pushed the door open gently.

Your eyes widen at the sight infront of you as you had fully opened the door. The grip your hand had on your lethal weapon widened and it slipped from your hands. The sight infront of you was so surreal. 'This can't be true, right?' your head was going to so many places, unable to comprehend what was going on. You felt kinda dizzy.

You would be a fool not to recognize this place that you had seen so many times throughout your life. A few kilometers infront of you was the City of Mondstadt in view. You could even see the knights guarding the gate and Timmie with his pigeons at the bridge.

The weird door from your cafe was actually a door to the Genshin Impact world. Wow... wtf.

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also pls take a look at my poorly drawn drawing of what your view looks like cause for the love of god I can't seem to explain it:

Also you're in a cliff or something. so yeah

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[eiflawriting]

Hiya! I was wondering if maybe you could write something like kyoraku fucking you in a sundress? Like you’ve planned a picnic date and then he sees you all dressed up in a pretty yellow sundress and makes you sit on his face in the middle of the park? Ty love x

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀𝐘𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐒

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀𝐬𝐡𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐢 𝐤𝐲ō𝐫𝐚𝐤𝐮

(✧) ─ 𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 shunsui finally has a day off from his captain duties, so y/n decides to plan a romantic picnic to help him relax. upon seeing her in that pretty little dress, he thought of other ways to do so.

(✧) ─ 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔! black woman who uses she/her pronouns ─ chubby!reader. established relationship ── husband x wife. same couple from goodmorning, my love. part ii. to my four part series. NO MANGA SPOILERS. third POV, usage of profanity, praising and breeding kink, VOYEURISM ── public s3x. oral!receiving ── face sitting, missionary position, terms of endearment ── cupcake, sweetheart, my love, angel, baby, pretty girl, etc. squirting, creampie. this is just some passionate love making in the garden. shunsui is wearing a yukata and i think it's hot. 3.3k word count.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀(✧) ─ 𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒔

my goodness. first of all, im sorry this request took so long. i have like three different versions of this fic written, but decided to go with this one. i absolutely love it. nonnie, i hope you're still here with me lol. i also just came off a writing hiatus, so im going to try to knock out my other requests, which are also bleach characters, hehe. shoutout to nonnie for being my first completed request. ヾ( ˃ᴗ˂ )◞ • *✰ no more rambling. i hope y'all enjoy. interactions would be greatly appreciated. ♡ eighteen plus only. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

𝑺𝑯𝑼𝑵𝑺𝑼𝑰 𝑺𝑰𝑷𝑷𝑬𝑫 𝑯𝑰𝑺 𝑺𝑨𝑲𝑬 𝑺𝑰𝑳𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑳𝒀 𝑨𝑺 𝑯𝑬 𝑾𝑨𝑻𝑪𝑯𝑬𝑫 𝒀/𝑵 𝑷𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑯𝑬𝑹𝑺𝑬𝑳𝑭 𝑨 𝑪𝑼𝑷, 𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑳𝑰𝑺𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑬𝑫 𝑻𝑶 𝑾𝑶𝑹𝑫𝑺 𝑳𝑬𝑨𝑽𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑯𝑬𝑹 𝑴𝑶𝑼𝑻𝑯. His grey irises were glued to Y/N, mesmerized by her gorgeous appearance. A day never went by when Shunsui wasn't obsessed with her beauty, but today he found himself staring more than usual. Did it have something to do with the substance circulating his system or the short yellow dress Y/N was wearing? 

Maybe both. 

When Shunsui saw Y/N, he felt himself coming undone in the yukata she picked out for him to wear. He wondered where she got this dress from? Perhaps a gift from Rukia when she returned from the World of the Living? If so, he would surely thank her the next time he ran into her.

The dress held Y/N's curves perfectly. With every step she took, her tits bounced like they were dying to be freed. A few times on the stroll to the garden, the wind blew heavily to expose her garments. The pervert in Shunsui wanted the wind to blow harder to reveal more, but of course, the gentleman in him helped Y/N adjust. 

Shunsui declared yellow was Y/N's color. It complimented her deep brown skin well—and the sun couldn't agree more, descending upon her complexion to illuminate the natural glow she already had. To think this day was supposed to be reserved for spending time with Y/N and relaxing. All he could think about was fucking her in that pretty little dress. Well, that sounds quite relaxing to him, at least. 

"My love, you're staring," Y/N said while her eyes remained focused on rummaging through the picnic basket. 

Of course, he was. How couldn't he? If only she could witness the lewd thoughts permeating Shunsui's mind. They were beyond obscene, visualizing her thighs suffocating his face while he ate her pussy until she was a cumming mess. Fucking Y/N, gazing at her tits bouncing invitingly until they fell out her top. He knew she wasn't wearing a bra either. The dress's material was thin enough to have her nipples peek through. 

Fuck, she was so damn sexy. Shunsui's cock was growing harder the longer he watched.

"Can you blame me for having a beautiful wife?"

Y/N wrinkled her nose. "Hmm, maybe you're right. I can't blame you, but you could at least say what's on your mind."

"Why do you think something's on my mind?"

"Hmm, maybe because you're giving me those bedroom eyes, and your cheeks are quite red. I know you could handle your liquor."

He chuckled, using his free hand to throw up in defeat. "You got me. You'll probably think I'm a pervert if I tell you what's on my mind."

"Baby—I thought you were a pervert since we met. I don't think a few of your wet fantasies would make me think otherwise." The laugh he belted from his stomach pulled strings in Y/N's heart. So genuine. He needed this day. 

Shunsui leaned back to pat on his lap, wanting Y/N to take comfort, which she had no issue doing. A delightful ache rushed to his cock from feeling Y/N's clothed sex on him. Her lips were ghosting over his, inches from kissing but instead taking in the lingering aroma of sake. She brushed her nose along the bridge of his nose, an intimate gesture they did to express their love, before wrapping her arms around Shunsui's neck and finding his lips. 

While sharing a heated kiss, Y/N began rubbing her pussy on Shunsui to pull those husked groans from his chest. His free hand rested on the small of her back to aid the rolling motion of her hips. Y/N halted her movements to softly gasp due to feeling his erection grow against her clothed sex. However, Shunsui saw no reason for her to stop. 

Shunsui chugged the last of his sake before grabbing Y/N's legs to wrap around him, having her comfortably straddle him. He placed his hands on her hips to continue her movements while massaging each other's lips. Every moan, grunt, and plea was devoured with the intent of wanting to do more than just make out, especially for Shunsui. 

A greedy man he was when it came to Y/N. He wanted to discover every kink and pinpoint of her body until all her weaknesses were revealed. Any chance he had was used to taking his time pleasing her in ways she didn't know was possible, but Shunsui made it so. And today would just be another one of those experiments. 

"I want you to bear my children, my love," Shunsui rasped, pecking her lips between words before peppering kisses along her neck. "You look so damn beautiful and sexy in this dress. I want to fuck you while you wear it."

"Mmm, let's go back—"

He shook his head. "No. Right here. Let me fuck you right here in the middle of the garden."

"S-Shunsui—I don't know if I'll be able to be quiet. And what if someone sees us?" Y/N words barely came out as normal. Her breathy moans only indicated she was on board with him. 

He tugged her earlobe between his teeth, whispering, "Hmm, conservative now, are we? I recall you stopping by before my captain meetings a few times because you said you missed me—And lunch wasn't the only thing you were dropping off."

Shunsui earned a knowing look from Y/N that was filled with desire. She didn't even bother to argue because it was true. Y/N genuinely visited Shunsui at the barracks to bring him lunch. But there was just something about seeing him tend to his captain duties that had a pleasurable ache rush to her center. And let's just say when Shunsui walked her out of the room, she attracted a few stares from his subordinates. 

She nipped on her bottom lip, letting out a deflating sigh. "Why have I married you again?"

"Because you love me, and I love you. Now come here—Sit on my face." Shunsui wasted no time laying on his back to prepare to feast on Y/N. She attempted to remove her dress, but he stopped her. "I was very serious when I said I want to please you while you wear this dress, sweetheart."

He sat up a bit to grab Y/N's waist to pull her onto his face, causing her to giggle. That giggle soon turned into a soft moan upon feeling Shunsui lap at her clit through her panties. The barrier of her garments acted as a tease and a surprise for something great. Her natural odor graced his nostrils, reminding him how he became pussydrunk, to begin with. 

The feeling of Y/N's pussy being toyed with through her panties was a great delight—as if the material of her garments gave her clit more friction. She even found herself riding his face in hopes of reaching her release quicker. But she should know that Shunsui took his time pleasing her. 

Libido was pumping through their veins, but mainly Y/N. Shunsui was a tease in more ways than one. However, she felt like she was on the edge of a mountain. She was desperate to cum, and although her orgasm was right there—it wouldn't come. Not until his tongue was pleasing her without the barrier. It felt like an everlasting sensation of falling out of the sky. 

Y/N hiked up her dress to look down at Shunsui, seeing that pretty scarlet color decorate his cheeks. She just knew he was enjoying taunting her. His mouth was preoccupied, but his eyes twinkled a light of mischief and ecstasy. Y/N thought he looked so sexy smothered between her thighs, but she needed more, and she didn't mind begging for it. 

"Baby, stop teasing me—please."

"Gosh, I just love when you're so needy and impatient for me, angel. Just this once, I'll give you what you want."

He slipped Y/N's panties to the side to attack her clit. He groaned from having her taste on his tongue, joyfully rolling his eyes back. Shunsui was hungry for this pussy. Taking care of Y/N was the highlight of his day. If only he could spend every day like this—spreading her ass cheeks to obnoxiously eat her pussy and second hole.

Shunsui's moans transferred vibrations to her throbbing bud, causing Y/N to cry his name. He slipped two fingers inside her to produce more of those dulcet cries, which went straight to cock. 

Y/N was so wet for Shunsui and created a mess on his face. Being drowned in her wetness was no issue for him at all. Y/N's juices coated his facial hair and dripped down his chin. She kept whimpering his name, saying how close she was to cumming, and that only aided his feasting to become more passionate. Thrusting his fingers knuckles deep into her cunt while sucking vigorously on her clit. And he couldn't neglect the hidden flavor behind the long side of her labia. 

"Fuck, you taste so good, cupcake. I love this pussy," Shunsui mumbled.

"Shun, suck me harder. I'm right there."

So sensitive she was when it came to Shunsui's touch. Teasing Y/N through her garments was the calm before the storm. She just knew as soon as she felt him lapping at her clit she would cum quickly. Her actions also proved this accurate—pressing her weight on his face, suffocating him between her thighs while riding his tongue.

Y/N began feeling herself and imagined Shunsui running his hands through her curves. Somewhere along the lines of yes, please, oh God, and a few more curse words was all that she could say. However, Shunsui fucking the air caught her attention. She looked over her shoulders to witness how hard his erection became. If she didn't know any better, the wet spot on his yukata was the overload of precum seeping through. 

She bit her lip, thinking about how badly she wanted to suck the soul out of his dick. But that would be saved for another time. 

Shunsui pumped his fingers faster and deeper into Y/N until he hit her sweet spot to pull back her attention. He consumed Y/N's wetness, slurping her juices and generating slurping sounds like her pussy was a popsicle on the verge of melting. His free hand was used to repeatedly smack her ass and rub to alleviate the sting. Shunsui knew she enjoyed his actions. How she clenched around his fingers couldn't say otherwise.

And it wasn't long before her orgasm washed over his face. 

Y/N saw stars while riding out her release. Despite her moans being hitched, they still managed to push through. She panted above him and, as always, thanked Shunsui for delivering great pleasures. 

Typically, Shunsui would continue pleasing Y/N past her orgasm because he enjoyed her sensitivity, but he was just dying to fuck her. He ran his tongue along her folds a bit longer before removing Y/N from his face. He sat her on the blanket to begin freeing himself from his yukata. She watched him with lidded eyes, chest heaving slowly, licking her lips with anticipation to see his girthy cock. 

"You like what you see, darling?"

Y/N giggled. "Oh, shut up and fuck me already."

"Hmm, quite a demand from someone so worried about having sex in the garden." 

She pulled him by the band of his yukata to have him inches away from her mouth. "I said—shut up—and come fuck me." And found his lips once more. 

Their kiss was so passionately sloppy. Moaning and groaning from the lingering taste of Y/N on his tongue. He hurriedly lowered his yukata enough to expose his aching cock. Although Shunsui had all day with her, it seemed like he was still in a rush to fuck her fat wet pussy. He only left a few more smooches before descending into Y/N's neck to nip harshly at her flesh. 

While he stroked his dick to spread his precum and prepare to be inside her, he freed her breasts from the dress because they looked like they needed air. How Y/N's full saggy tits jumped out her top was beyond obnoxious. Fuck, he couldn't resist sucking them into his mouth just to savor for a bit. 

After showing equal love to Y/N's tits, he again slipped her panties to the side and leaned forward until Y/N was lying on her back. He grabbed her legs to hook one thigh under his forearm and pin the other. Shunsui ran his tongue across her bottom lip while his tip rested on her sex to tease, and just when she parted her lips to complain—he pushed in. 

But of course, her pussy was stubborn, involuntary resisting, and only allowing the head. 

He gathered saliva in his mouth to drip on his dick. Her wetness was enough lubricant, but Shunsui knew doing this would create that obscene queefing sound he loved hearing. He took his time working open her pussy, pumping tenderly until he was deep. 

Y/N rolled her eyes and let out soft whimpers, indicating her approval of his actions. How was his tip alone able to bring her this much pleasure already? But no. She needed to take all eight inches of Shunsui to make him proud. 

"My love, I—I can take it. Give me more," Y/N breathed.

He held his hips still to watch her, seeing how the sun was attracted to the tiny beads of sweat decorating her forehead. He noticed how tears began pricking the corner of those pretty chestnut-colored eyes. Y/N's hand was already resting on Shunsui's lower abdomen in preparation to hold him to alleviate the pressure. It didn't matter how often they had sex—Shunsui is a very passionate partner, and Y/N needed time to adjust.

But if she said she was ready… then she was ready. 

He bottomed out.

She let out a pitched yelp.

He pulled out and did it again. 

And again. 

And again. 

He fucked Y/N to make her cum all over his cock and milk her to breed her pussy. With every thrust, his balls smacked her sex. He was fucking Y/N at full force to have her breasts bounce uncontrollably. They sat so nicely outside the pretty little yellow dress she was wearing. This is what Shunsui was visualizing when he saw her in this dress. 

"Y/N, squeeze your breasts together with your arms," Shunsui ordered, to which she happily complied. "Yes, just like that. Fuck, you're so sexy. So good to me, sweetheart."

"Shun, oh God! Don't stop fucking me like this, baby."

He won't. He won't stop fucking his sweet wife like a wild animal hunting prey. If anything, he'll fuck her harder until she gushes and creams his cock, and he paints her walls. Until she's crying his name from the pit of her stomach. Shunsui kissed Y/N's cervix just enough to deliver another orgasm and not bring discomfort. 

Y/N's cheeks only grew warmer the more her pleasure was built. Shunsui was a lot to handle, but she molded around him perfectly with his patience to stretch her walls. Her pussy sucked him in and out. Based on how his eyes were glued between them, he was delighted by this sight. But Y/N wanted him to look at her.

"L-Look at me, Shunsui."

His dick twitched from her order that sounded too sweet. He gave her soft smooches to express his apologies. "I'm sorry, angel. You want me to watch you when you cum, hm?"

"Yes, please."

Gosh, why did she sound like that? 

Shunsui freed her thighs to take comfort in holding her thick waist. He pounded into her to hear her pussy smile. He quickly glanced to see a heap of cream on his cock. When he returned his eyes to Y/N, he saw her squeezing her nipple while attempting to suck the other in her mouth. The visual of this was so pornographic. His dick couldn't stop jumping unruly. 

He was going to bust soon. 

And she wasn't too far behind. 

"You're going to let me breed you. Isn't that right, my love? That's what you promised me, yeah?" But, despite his words coming out as a question, he wasn't asking. 

More so, telling her. 

"Yes. I'll do anything for you, Shun."

"You're always so fucking good to me."

His hands remained on her waist to fuck her, also pulling down Y/N to meet with his thrusts. He pressed his weight onto her to sensually kiss Y/N, overpowering her pretty two-toned lips with his tongue. Shunsui glided across her jawline and neck to suck fervently on her flesh to pull back those sweet yelps. Her walls wrapped around him acted as a turtleneck sweater providing warmth to his cock. It would only take a few more strokes until Y/N was a cumming mess. 

Shunsui removed one of his hands from Y/N to move his fingers to her pearl to rub out her orgasm. His pace was erratic, and he was eager to feel her wash over him again. Y/N's moans reverberated around the garden, yet they were still sweet and soft. His grunts joined her sounds of pleasure to harmonize. Tears were rolling down her cheeks, and she couldn't look more beautiful—happier. Words couldn't describe how much Shunsui loves her. She was perfect. 

"Ah—Ngh, oh my gosh, Shun. Baby, I'm cumming. You're making me cum," Y/N whimpered, sniffling her tears of joy. 

"I just love hearing those words from your pretty mouth. You're so gorgeous, my angel. I love you so much. Always milking my cock with this warm, tight pussy. Fuck, you feel amazing." The praises Shunsui was saying to Y/N only helped build her climax further. She was squeezing him, and her pussy produced stirring wet noises. He applied more pressure to her clit and flicked it more quicker. "Mmm, cum for me, Y/N."

His balls were growing heavy. Shunsui put all his strength into his thrusts until they became sloppy, indicating his near orgasm. He repeatedly touched Y/N's cushion, which had her whimpering and toes curling.

He ghosted his mouth over her ears. "Let go for me, sweetheart. I want you to release everything on me. I feel you. Don't hold back, okay? I'm yours."

"..."

"I'm yours," he repeated in a hushed tone.

"Oh–f-fuck…."

And that was it. A beautiful wave washed between them as Y/N squirted and milked his cock, and Shunsui drowned her pussy with his bitters. His sloppy thrusts didn't halt until he ensured every last drop of cum emptied in her depths. He moaned her name, saying she was his good girl, calling her beautiful, and saying he would make her a mommy. 

Once the couple came down from their high, Shunsui pulled Y/N onto his lap with his dick inside her. He showered her face with gentle kisses before finding her soft lips. Having Y/N in his arms was the best feeling he could ask for. 

Upon parting from the heartfelt kiss, they held eye contact to share a look of lust. Two lovers, drunk off love and sake after fucking passionately in the middle of the garden. However, Y/N almost forgot she was in public until hearing the voices of his subordinates. How she yelped and curled into Shunsui, smothering her face on his bare chest, made his heart flutter.

She softly bit his flesh to show her playful frustration of agreeing to be fucked in a public setting. "Remind me to never do this again."

"Haha. I can remind you, but we both know you don't believe in the word never. Now, come on. Let's go home and clean up."

𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙠 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜. 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙗𝙚 𝙜𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙡𝙮 𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙙. ♡

𝙩𝙖𝙜𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙜 ── @dejwrites @beniswife @ayyy-pee @maydayaisha @violxtbxbyy @chaotic-nick @aiyaaayei @bontensbabygirl @po3ticb3auty @angrybirdxx @alinvert @heartdevil @caribbeanwifey19 @sexbob-ombbeck @softimgyu @kimorikuri @adoretruly @akondo @kinize20 @snowflakeanimelover @kawaiigirljenae99 @zabimarushoney67 @ghoulette420 @stargirllust @kenpachis-woman @magxnoria @kenpachiislit

[lookingforhappy]

TUA wasn't "always meant to end like this" nor did it build up to a tragic everybody dies ending in any way

sorry this is long and rambly but im noticing a lot of people coming out of the woodworks saying that the ending wasnt even bad actually and i just.. its not a redeemable ending to me and yes it does ruin the rest of the show for me and i wish i had the strength to make it not so but im stuck rn.. anyway:

i don't think i can forgive the ending, more than anything that happened in the final season

they had interesting character points, in an interesting setting.

and yeah they didnt tie up anything, and several people were out of character this season but thats nothing new in this fandom

eudora was forgotten, diego and luthers personalities didnt develop they were altered to be more palatable for the audience, grace and pogo became cameo characters instead of finishing their arcs or development in a meaningful way, reginalds plan has made less and less sense as the seasons go on, the commission was entirely changed from its set up in s1 and then forgotten.

thats all forgivable as long as the season is self contained and satisfys the tone and story.

s4 did none of these things - its not self contained as it leaves jennifer and abigail severely underexplained, and then flips the tone and message of the entire series on its head.

people have already noted that the theme of the show is that recovery from abuse haunts you into adulthood but with love and hard work and perserverance you can overcome it. the apocalypse has always been a metaphor for the cycle of abuse and how it continues to harm people after its been done, and how allowing it to dictate your life will end up in it imploding in your face etc.

but theres also just the general tone of the show.

the final season tries to make out that the siblings are themselves responsible for the apocalypses and only their death can prevent more apocalypses (twisting the meaning to be that of "if you have trauma then you should kill yourself" which like.. clearly bad, no explanation needed)

but to pull through on this ending the previous seasons need to have ended in tragedy too, or hinted towards it tonally. they never do.

the obvious way to do this would be to write each season ending/apocalypse to be sad/tragic. have the focus be on the people dying horribly in pain, show the remorse of the siblings, punish them by making it personal, show that they killed everyone and they know it.

the only season that even slightly does this is s1 as patch is killed because of diego, pogo and grace are killed because of luther and viktor, and the rest of the supporting cast is killed due to viktor.

but even season 1 isnt framed as a tragedy or a story leading up tot a tragedy.

its a story of hope. the siblings arent upset by the apocalypse because they can survive and prevent it and theres hope for the future and more specifically for THEIR future. nothing else remains from this timeline other than them because the whole show is centred as their recovery story. their hope.

if this was ever going to be presented as a hopeless tragedy then we needed to see characters like claire killed brutally. we needed to actually see Grace's lifeless body. we needed to see the consequences and see that nothing they did was fixing anything by having these consequences follow them and not just in a "this happened and im sad" but in everyone around them and them becoming worse as time goes by.

if they wanted the whole "we cant exist" ending to work then we needed to frame s1 and all subsequent seasons to actually show that it was their actions that caused the apocalypses.

viktor causes the first apocalypse because of reginald's abuse.

the US government causes the second apocalypse because they tortured an innocent to the brink of death and then got upset and aggressive when that had consequences (viktors powers overspilling and destroying the fbi building). like sorry that apocalypse was never viktors fault - its like false confession under torture, it doesnt count as real because he only did it to make torture stop.

the 3rd apocalypse is caused by Harlan accidentally killing their mothers, which again is not even his fault. he didnt want to kill them he just lost control and he had no idea that it would end the world (logically it shouldnt because this apocalypse defies the laws of time that they themselves established for the show).

the final apocalypse isnt even caused by them its caused by abigail and reginald. as are, technically, all of the apocalypses as abigail created the marigold and reginald released it and created the broken timeline by allowing it to travel with him to the umbrellas world.

in s2 the apocalypse has no consequences because they prevent it. ray and sissy and harlan get to live. klaus' cult memeber get to live. they even punctuate this ending by showing that theyre moving on and progressing in their healing because ben is finally allowed to move on with his afterlife, and he is no longer kept there, stalling their recovery from his death. even five's integration into the family again in s1 showed growth and recovery and HOPE.

in s3 the world is saved, and luther is brought back to life and five and diegos limbs are returned. everyone who was erased/died like lilas family and reginald are brought back to life because there is HOPE.

if they wanted to sell a tragedy and sell it well then we needed to see consequences. allison should have died in s1. five should have given up and returned to the commission in s2. luther should have stayed dead in s3. their families should have died and caused them pain.

nothing about this ending followed through on the theme of hope.

there are ways to do it. and its been done well.

romeo and juliet works because they are remembered. star wars prequels are loved because its a doomed from the beginning story that ends with hope in the form of luke saving his fathers soul and returning the jedi to their true state - protectors and peace keepers. frodo and bilbo return from their journeys ill and grieving and forever changed, and they and the magic beings of middle earth have to pass on before their time because of the harm of their stories. macbeth dies in the end because his story was one of a hero becoming a villain.

theres so many good examples of tragic endings but s4 wasnt one of them.