#im planning on getting the whole flashback posted today

[bwobgames]

Previous First

Beebo's memories of his last case forcefully enter his mind

"I would never judge a person for hiring a detective for a cat, and I would never judge a colleague for accepting such a case, but somehow, someway, I am very much judging myself.

Are my prices too low? Or is it better that is this low? I mean, work is work, but also, what would the academy think ...?"

"Oh Sir Williamson the fifth, it's you and me against the world"

"... There's no way they call him by his full name"

"Alright, professional Beebo time! Let's review"

"People around the area said that this is an area with a lot of cats, so if Sir Williamson ran away following some friends, he's probably here"

"And what better place to hide in the meantime than a big abandoned building?"

"Yeah, no, this place has seen better days"

"It's close enough to civilization that stray cats could get in, and far away for people to not care"

"This was some sort of half house half art display if I'm not wrong, perfect for a silly kitty to play in"

"It looks a bit dangerous, but I really want to see what's inside"

"I'm curious, I'm so curious. I need to get in already"

He enters the building

Something feels

Wrong

"Yeah, no, this place is a dump"

"Uhh, any kitties here?"

"... no response. Well, it was expected"

"Seems like there's still a few art pieces hanging around. They are not in the best shape, though, or are they? This might just be how it was made"

Looking at the wall ahead, he sees a framed picture

"Oh, that's useful, let's see...

I'll just go straight ahead and turn to reach the stairs.

I should be able to see something that indicates the presence of a cat"

He goes through the door

"I dont really mind graffiti, but why break the art?

Unless this was meant to be broken to send a message about what we consider art and not??

Maybe I should've investigated more, but all I got is that this place is supposedly haunted"

"If there's any ghosts in this building, have any of you seen a little grey cat?"

...

"Once again, no response. Rude!"

"All right, straight up ahead"

A tiny corridor with ruined paintings on the wall

"For being an abandoned place, it sure doesn't have any bugs

I dont think I've seen a single spider or fly. Maybe the faint smell of painting chemicals keep them away?"

"I don't even hear rats scurrying around"

"Hello? Any rats around here?"

"... Nothing. Not a squeak or little feet running around.

Maybe they are just hiding very well"

He goes through the first door

And finds another corridor

"Artists and their corridors"

The two doors lead to bathrooms

He goes through the third one

He finds a room that resembles a kitchen. There's only small and broken furniture.

The next room resembles a living room. This must be the House part of the art installation

He goes through another door and finds some stairs. He doubts the strength of the stairs, but after a few little jumps in the wood, he finds it sturdy and goes up

"Ah, so this is the studio, very nice, I would love an office this size

Although most things are broken, i can kind of see how a bedroom could be situated in the far corner"

"Here kitty, kitty! Are you here, kitty?"

"Uh, Sir Williamson the third? Come here baby!!"

He makes kissy noises, but nothing, no cat

The whole way here, he hasn't even seen a single cat hair.

Or rat, or spider, or fly

Just some moss sometimes

"Ah, I guess my theory has been debunked. There's no kitty here. It doesn't even even smell like cat pee!"

"There's a bit more rooms left, but I'm pretty sure there is no cat"

"I'll just keep asking the houses around here"

"Man, I didn't even see a ghost. This sucks"

He traces back his steps to the room he came in

"Welp, I guess I admired some art today. That counts as doing something productive!"

He calls for the cat one last time

But there's only silence

He opens the door to go back outside

There's a corridor

[81folklore]

lover - SCHUMACHER

pairings: mick schumacher x wordle!reader (fc: savannah delullo + pintrest)

summary: micks girlfriend always relates everything in her life to the three things she loves most; taylor swift, wordle and her boyfriend

authors note: this is probably one of the most niche things ive ever made but i absolutely love sav and her wordle content and i also love mick so why not put those together?? i dont even know how i thought of this but here it is😭

authors note 2: doesnt have all the pictures i wanted, but i needed this to be one part so i had to shorten it a bit. i ended up mainly using pintrest photos, but that was only because the sav photos i planned to use ended up being in posts i couldnt make due to the 30 picture limit. i actually think this is my favorite smau ive done so i hope you enjoy

masterlist

yourusername

liked by mickschumacher, jackdoohan and 12,728 others

and everytime i look at you, its like the first time

view comments

user11: beach being the wordle today was perfect pinned

yourusername: can confirm i was very happy

mickschumacher: good pictures...must be a pretty cool photographer😂

yourusername: ehh took some practice but he learnt from the best!😉

user82: you guys are so cute

user9: micks looking more and more like his dad everyday :')

user4: im so obessed with your tiktoks

user49: favorite wordle player

yourusername

liked by mickschumacher, estebanocon and 14,287

you got that long hair, slicked back, white tshirt, and i got that good girl faith and a tight little skirt

view comments

user55: officially my favorite couple

user20: dont know who i want to be more

user32: so so cute

mickschumacher: 💚💚💚

user2: i love that she always includes that days wordles in her posts

user72: and if she can, she will relate it to a taylor lyric and make that her caption

user60: and she always tries to match the pictures to the word

user46: are those his dads glasses☹️

yourusername

liked by carla.brocker, mickschumacher and 26,109 others

youre a flashback in a film reel on the one screen in my town🎞️

view comments

user8: micks smile AHHHHH

user92: im so obsessed with this post

user902: he looks SO GOOD

user65: i cant bresthe omg

mickschumacher: my favourite photographer

yourusername: my favourite muse

user7: I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

user51: no bcs you just dont understand

yourusername

liked by mickschumacher, jackdoohan and 31,273 others

✨i can still make the whole place shimmer✨

HOLY WHAT IS MY LIFE??? so much happened within the span of a night and im in shock. first, TAYLOR SWIFT?? next SWIFT WORDLE ANSWER?? ON THE DAY OF MY CONCERT?? then I GOT THE 22 HAT?? EXACTLY 10 YEARS AFTER THE LAST PICTURE TOOK PLACE?? also lets all appreciate how good both taylor and mick look!!!!

view comments

user4: YOU GOT THE HAT? IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU

user6: you deserve the hat so much!!

user67: what was your reaction to the wordle?

yourusername: i actually did it in the stadium while waiting for taylor, i started freaking out i was so happy😭

user13: love your outifts! did you make both of them?

yourusername: i made micks and he made mine☺️

yourfriend2: im glad you both had fun

yourusername: mwah 💋

mickschumacher: thank you for choosing me to go with you

yourusername: why wouldnt i take my favorite person to see my other favorite person??

mickschumacher: love you

yourusername: love you🩵

user5: the IT couple

user85: i love seeing mick getting involved with her interests :(

yourusername

liked by mickschumacher, georgerussell63 and 40,812 others

we could let our friends crash in the living room

tagged mickschumacher, lewishamilton, estebanocon, lance_stroll, sebastianvettel, georgerussell63+

view comments

user56: oh my god oh my god

user52: theyre literally living taylor swift lyrics

user75: i cant cope

user79: THEY HAD A SLEEPOVER?? WITH THEIR GRID FRIENDS??

user20: seb definitly spun the wheel in twister

user59: definitly had a drink with him aswell😭

lewishamilton: thanks for having us💜

yourusername: always welcome with us lewis🩵

mickschumacher: can i go where you go?

yourusername: can we always be this closee?

yourusername

liked by mickschumacher, lewishamilton and 29,819 others

and at every table, ill save you a seat, lover...

m, you mean more to me than i will ever be able to put into words. the love i feel for you is something so special it feels wrong to just say 'i love you', it doesnt do it justice. you are my entire being and nothing i say or do will even amount to the way you make me feel

3 years ago, forever felt scary, forever felt terrifying, but how can forever be enough now? how will i ever have enough time with you? how will i ever have enough time to love you?

i would say 'take me out and take me home' but no matter where you take me i will always be home if im with you🏠

tagged mickschumacher

comments on this post have been limited

mickschumacher: my favorite person

yourusername: 🫶🫶

mickschumacher: my one and only

yourusername: my lifeline

mickschumacher: forever with you sounds perfect

[queenofallimagines]

Can you do Blue Lock Sae x female reader x Rin? The brothers are fighting for her love.

A/N: I SURE THE FUCK CAN!! The itoshi effect is hating them both and then post backstory explanation coming to like them both a lot😔

TAGLIST: @priv-rose

Sae & Rin itoshi:

- okay so boom

- Had another OC though of being like a counselor at blue lock bc none of them boys is right in the head😭

- You have previous connections to Sae bc you were a counselor for another team he was on and his manager liked you so he would schedule private sessions

- Ended up in you leaving bc he’s so frustrating but alas fate has other plans

- You show up to the U-20 match bc DUH

- Anri doesn’t have any money to hire a manager also so you’re taking over that role

- Sorry😔

- Anyway rin comes to respect you for dragging him by his eyelashes about his trauma

- “So are we gunna start with hating yourself and thinking you’re not good enough to prove a point to your shitty brother OR are we working on your material conditions that stem from that today?”

- “…..off yourself”

- Like he can’t say shit back bc you got em!

- Comes in often enough now that he doesn’t schedule sessions he just shows up to spill the tea

- (Isagi and bachira are the same. the spies on the inside that tell you how the others are doing)

- He comes in and flops down in the chair

- “I’m not looking forward to seeing him. Why the fuck did they call HIM to help the team? His ass should have stayed in Spain!”

- “Oh I hear ya, I’m not looking forward to even making eye contact with his ass either. I’m counting on yall to win.”

- “The game-“

- “I want yall to crush him. I have my own personal beef with him.”

- “…….im not asking how.”

- You’re being restrained from jumping over the divider during the game to go swing on Sae

- Like did you see that?? THE AUDACITY

- DID NOBODY ELSE IN THE WHOLE STADIUM HEAR THAT SHIT??

- Yeah I would have swing on his ass right when the final whistle blew

- Better than me for him to get that mess out his mouth about isagi

- Would have stood up and clocked his ass

- When they’re all jumping all over each other celebrating you can feel the bad vibes coming from rin

- It’s suffocating

- You run to the locker rooms to catch him and bump into sae(accompanied by shidou)

- “……”

- Glaring at his ass

- Give him the dirtiest look ever

- And then turn to Ryusei smiling like you saw a puppy

- “Hey Ryu! Wonderful performance you put on today. You definitely stole the show.”

- Like lmao just ignore him pls

- After saving rin from going off the deep end; bc baby I’m so sorry that an ugly ass bitch would say something like that to you

- Their two week vacation starts

- Rin is surprised to see you in not work clothes chilling like a regular person

- Ends up hanging out with you a lot bc you’re the only one who he can speak freely to

- Unfortunately his brother is also back in the country

- Running into Sae while hanging out with his brother was NOT on your vacation bingo card but here we are

- “You’re here?”

- “I could really say the same to you. You haven’t gotten citizenship to stay your ass over there yet?”

- Flashback✨ y’all had a casual thing back in the day because when he’s not closed off he can be pretty fun to be around

- Then he let a white man get in his feelings and refused to talk about them and lashed out on you

- So he just kinda got these feelings and nothing to do with them

- Didn’t think he’d ever see you again to be honest so now stuff that he buried ages ago is in his face

- Can’t tell you sorry. Doesn’t know how.

- Sees you smiling and doting on rin how you used to him and can’t help but get jealous

- Makes sure to approach you when rin isn’t around

- You go to the kitchen to get water boom he’s there too now

- “Jesus Christ do you ever announce yourself?”

- “You’re in MY house”

- “Is it your house if you only show up one a year?”

- Can’t help but start arguments when he just wants to talk regularly

- Rin already picking up what his brother is trying to lay down and he’s not having it

- He’s already developed a crush on you like you CANT leave

- Gets nervous bc if your past with sae that he might snatch you up too

- Not letting his brother take something else away from him

- So all of a sudden he’s a lot more touchy with you

- Trust me inside he’s screaming and throwing up bc he’s never done this before but he will try

- You can feel his stiff ass hand around your waist😭

- Poor baby

- The silent itoshi beef isn’t missed by you but you don’t know that they’re competing off the pitch too

- “You sure you don’t want to go do something? Like we watched horror movies in your room all day yesterday, I had errands to run-“

- “Well I wanted to start the final destination franchise so you gotta watch all 5 of them there’s a new one coming out”

- “Yeah in 2025! That’s like 3 years away!”

- “Shhhh, the movie starting🙄”

- Hoards you all to himself in his room because you’re surrounded by HIM and less chances for Sae to sneak up on you in public and steal you away or join your date outing together

- Thinks you look cute wrapped in his blankets and tries not to blush when you cling to him

- “I swear to god-“

- “My bad forgot there’s a jumpscare here I’ll warn you about the next one promise.”

- He won’t

- Sae rolling his eyes to the back of his head bc you just always in the house now and Rin hanging off you like a sad puppy

- Sae is more strategic where rin is impulsive

- So he’s the type to do shit from the past that he knew would make your heart flutter and run will be blunt and impulsive with his actions

- Sae will touch your lower back as he comes up behind you to grab a class from the cub board and hand it to you

- Sae will bring you home your favorite snack when he knows rin wont see him give it to you

- Rin will grab your hand in public and not let go to make sure you don’t get lost on a crowd

- Rin will clumsily press his lips to your forehead when you are most distracted

- Both are very annoying

- And after a good WEEK of getting mixed signals from both of them you’re ready to stay your ass at home for the rest of the vacation before it’s back to work

- Monday morning Rin invites you on a morning run

- Which you obviously say fuck NO to bc the sun ain’t even up

- But he shows up to your front door at the asscrack of dawn telling you to get dressed you have no say in the matter unfortunately

- The jog isn’t so bad and he has the decency to buy you breakfast afterwards so that’s nice

- Decent conversation surprisingly

- When he drops you off back at your home he kisses you before literally sprinting off

- He was working up the nerve to do that all morning

- Can’t even say thanks or whatever yet before he presses his body close to you and lifts your head to slot his lips against yours

- Puts all his feelings into that kiss before managing to get out “bye” before his throat completely closes up

- And then sprints off before you can even blink

- Clown

- Giggling and kicking his feet when he gets home

- Sae is packing for his trip back to Spain at the end of the week

- When he catches you leaving his house after another Rin spontaneous all day movie marathon

- Offers to drive you home because it’s dark and he remembers the address

- Didn’t really offer so much as grab his Keys complaining about how you know better than to be outside this late

- Sir 🫤🫤

- The ride is kinda tense until he forces a conversation

- Unsurprisingly e vividly remembers all the right buttons to press to see that smile he’s been dying to see

- Don’t even notice he took the long way back to your home

- Puts his new number in your phone and tells you to stop being stubborn and answer when he texts you

- He’s a gentleman before all else so he walks you right to your front door

- Man barely hears a word you said before pulling you closer by your neck pressing his lips to yours

- Remembers you like the back of his hand the way his lips fit so familiar with yours

- Ends up with your arms around his neck and your back pressed into the front door

- Clearly wanting to come inside he pulls away because he’s fond of the chase🙄😒

- Wishes you a good night before kissing your forehead and going back to his car

- both of them have laid their cards out on the table

- Just up to you to make a choice I’m afraid

[tonydaddingham]

so i had the bright idea of rewatching s1 today whilst im working from home, now knowing what i know about s2, and so i can ruminate a little more on s1 with the additional context. ive barely made it past five minutes

im pretty sure ive gotten most of the frames accurate from this bit, and im sure it might just be a bit of demonstrative cinematography (which ya know, *chefs kiss*) but at the same time i love going into full year 9 english teacher mode about this shit, and i think there is something to comment on (which someone already might have done but w/e). in any case, this bit of dialogue is very noticeably layered with shots of crowley and aziraphale, but intercut with the shots of adam facing down the lion:

like, i can't help but feel that there is some symmetry in this and either other people have spotted it and im very behind, OR we havent spotted it and s2 spoilers have helped unlock it✨

so who is meant to be who here? for my money it would be that adam is mirroring aziraphale, and eve is mirroring crowley - in so much that at a really shallow level, aziraphale is a platoon leader, a guardian, fought in the war etc. crowley, regardless of his rank, is a starmaker, and let's face it the boy has the structural integrity of a strand of dried linguine. so we could look at it on that level (ignore the lion for the moment ill sort of explain that if it isn't already obvious)

but also we now know that this scene is not their first meeting, and that aziraphale and crowley do in fact remember each other and know that they have met, and in aziraphale's case is probably the teeniest bit shy bc damn heart eyes as an angel, heart eyes as a demon 🥵 but my point is that this is after the fall. after (as far as crowley tells it) crowley fell for 'just ask[ing] questions", and "just hung around the wrong people".

now i have my thoughts on why crowley fell: tldr because it would require another post - both reasons he gave above are bullshit and obvs conflict with each other, so i think that he doesn't actually know why he fell and has just guessed his transgressions so he can rationalise it, that god actually never had an issue with him asking questions, and instead it was actually god's plan to make him fall so he could represent the 'evil' side of free will on earth, as aziraphale's counterpart, and essentially ensure that humankind stays eternally 'in balance'

ANYWAY so the fact that in the lion sequence, 'crowley' is being shielded by 'aziraphale' against an unknown entity; but does this mirror a flashback, or is it foreshadowing? again, id put my bets on the former visually, but the latter... lyrically? idk the word but regardless take the dialogue:

"What if I did the right thing;

with the whole 'eat the apple business'?

A demon can get into a lot of trouble;

for doing the right thing."

so let's rephrase this:

"Was it the right decision to fall;

was I right to choose this for myself?

to choose the right to choose?

Because i feel like i could live to regret it."

so is crowley in essence already asking if aziraphale is on his side? is he asking if falling was the right thing, the good thing, to do (regardless of whether god gave him any choice in the matter)? But was he given the choice, first true free will? did aziraphale try to protect him during the fall, so crowley could get out in time (but ultimately fail? or at least bought Crowley enough time to find a back staircase and fall gently and peacefully, 'saunter vaguely downwards'?), and then get assigned to earth to be the 'good' side of the coin for humanity?

and is crowley asking if aziraphale will continue to be with him? in whatever romantic, platonic, acquaintance context you want - is he asking aziraphale if aziraphale will fight for him again, for them both? aziraphale made his decision, enacted his free will, in giving the humans a sword, and thus brought the concept of war and horror to earth, even if that was never his intention - so now swordless, and now only condemned to watch humanity as it strides out on its own (or was this the plan all along?👀), is aziraphale willing to do it? does he have the power, the strength, the will? would he stretch his finger over the line to fight on their side?

maybe im asking the wrong kind of questions, but all ill say is that in the above sequence? at the end of the dialogue? adam kills the lion.

i think 'their side' began in the job minisode, yes maybe, but also maybe the idea of it, the understanding of it, was planted here.

[vvitchering]

Tbobf finale thoughts real quick:

I have like 5 mins to write this before I have to get up for work so let’s go

I can’t figure out if I hated this or not

Like yeah they did end up with the same “oh they’re going to have to wrap this up REAL quick and dirty” pacing issue I’ve been worried about

But they didn’t even give us much good character stuff to smooth over the plot/pacing

Liked Din being loyal to Boba to the point where he’s willing to die but it would have been nice to have acknowledged WHY that is.

There were a lot of emotional gut punches in this episode that ended up being more emotional love taps due to lost or forgotten context and that’s….bizarre for a show as obsessed with flashbacks as this one is.

Like the only reason I even knew Cad Bane and Boba had previously established beef is because I glanced at a tumblr post about their unfinished duel from the clone wars show. That’s not the kind of fan knowledge you should be working off of…

Genuine question: how many of y’all even knew who Cad Bane was? If my brother hadn’t forced me to watch a few seasons of the clone wars I’d have had absolutely no goddamn clue who this joker was. (And I think a good percentage of Mando / TBOBF viewers may also be like me and aren’t big Star Wars buffs outside of these shows, so they’d have zero context for this interaction)

Lost opportunity to have the Tusken lady in black and the kid come back to help Boba. Yes I’m still upset about that, I was planning on dying mad about it.

Just…so very little of any of this finale made reasonable sense……..I’m gonna have to watch it again and do a play by play because it’s so jumbled in my head after one viewing

Luke really did put that infant in a ship and send him off to god knows where care of who the hell knows because he was angry he picked the beskar huh

Who’s the true baby here mr skywalker

This has been and will remain a “Luke Skywalker can fight me in the Denny’s parking lot and I’d win” house

Pacing aside since there’s not a lot to be done about that, this ep could have still been good if they’d given us even an ounce more context for some of these interactions.

It really feels like the writers were just stalling for time with this while finishing up Mando S3 which is a huge shame because this could have been GREAT as like an hour Boba Fett special or something. Trim the fat, do better with the Tusken story line, get rid of those GOD AWFUL mods, focus on what these events mean to BOBA (and Fennec), we could have had a real tight and punchy story.

Seriously fuck the mods everyone here hates the mods who’s idea we’re they

Blah blah other stuff happening I don’t even care about this nonsense at this point beyond watching my favorite little imaginary people run around on screen

Grogu should have taken the lightsaber too. Just for extra “piss off Luke” points.

I know Din didn’t take his helmet off this entire time because Pedro couldn’t actually be there to film, but I would have liked a nice helmet-less reunion scene with Grogu. Or a face reveal with Boba. I just miss Pedro’s handsome face ):

Boba did look really good this ep though 👌 and we’re almost back to his Mandalorian s2 levels of badassery in combat which was nice to see.

Bobadin shippers we won today

IM SO FUCKING GLAD COBB ISNT DEAD HOLY SHIT this was really the only thing I ever cared a little bit about djskdjsjjd

How’d he get there though

Did the townspeople bring him in? And for what? Did they know Boba had a bacta tank????

Or did Boba and co swing by and pick him up after the fight and bring him back? How’d he survive that long if it was an injury bad enough to take him out/keep him out/require the use of a bacta tank????

Oh god please don’t give him a whole ass robot arm like the fuckin mods I’ll scream. Give him a nice discreet job like Fennec’s. Please don’t make my boy cringe.

Anyway see y’all at Christmas time for Mando s3 💀

[ruby-whistler]

Srry but i noticed in one of ur dream posts u Referred to tommy's cat as hope. I must correct u, that cat was born pussbou and died pussboi. /lh Also tommy killing that cat was nothing compared to dream killing mushroom henry in exile btw just wanna say Also for ur posts about dreams trauma or wilbur manipulating him can u provide links to vods or other proof? Srry if i seem rude i mean that in a "genuinely curious way"

Aaa sorry if my ask came off as rude im just genuinely curious :(((

hi! dw, you don't seem rude at all, and i'm extremely happy someone with a different perspective has found my blog! i really appreciate that sort of attitude and am happy to answer :]

/dsmp /rp

the cat was called pussboy by tommy, but dream only called it "the cat" and then said that "it was hope", which is why it sort of became a symbol (his hope is dead, basically) - that's why i kind of made its name capitalized, because it was more of a metaphor than anything.

most c!dream fans call the cat hope because it's just really nice and really symbolic, and also really sad when you think about it. that's why the name was used in the essay, just to clear up the confusion!

tommy killing that cat was nothing compared to dream killing mushroom henry in exile

i don't really think so? mooshroom henry was entertainment more than anything, and even if it was bad, when watching the stream i don't remember seeing him mourn that much - on the other hand, dream was very quickly and very obviously attached to the cat, with it being his only companion in months of isolation, along with the hope that even when tommy left it would keep him company.

keep in mind c!dream has been deprived of stimuli and human contact for so long it's officially classified as psychological torture at that point.

i don't mean to compare trauma or even compare deaths - because honestly, what c!dream and c!tommy have gone through individually is incomparable and i think neither should be diminished in favor of the other since they're both terrible situations.

that's why i disagree that it "was nothing compared to" - it had an obvious effect on c!dream, and was still c!tommy killing an animal specifically to hurt him, no matter what reasons he had.

when i'm talking about effects people's actions have had on c!dream, i'm not talking about those people. i'm talking about him. :) /lh

as for the trauma, a lot of people agree that a lot of the things he says or does are trauma responses, and hence it's very possible that he's had trauma before he went into prison!

this includes being repeatedly called a tyrant via propaganda by about half of your friends who decided to betray you, trying to keep peace and being pushed deeper into villainy instead, repeatedly being put in between a rock and a hard place in order to make sure the people you care about don't start killing each other, then being betrayed by your closest friends after merely trying to keep peace (sapnap & george) and just in general having no control over your life or image and grasping at straws to gain it back.

i know a lot of people with trauma who heavily relate to certain trauma responses, which aren't always just shaky breaths and flashbacks, but trauma often also manifests itself in extremely ugly and destructive ways, both inwardly and outwardly.

trying to control the people around you is also very often a response to going through trauma, as well as emotional repression which is... rather evident on c!dream during season two. it only seems to get worse with repeated abandonment.

in the end, during the vault scene, the way he acts really just isn't at all the way a healthy person would act, and a lot of his really bad mindsets come from the way he was taught by the world around him.

the character is very reserved however, and since we don't have his pov we can't really say for certain - a lot of people claim it in good faith because they have a lot of evidence for it, and i think they're certainly valid in that.

that is just before the prison, however. from what happened during the prison arc? there is no denying he's traumatized at this point.

he's been emotionally and physically abused by c!sam since the very beginning of being imprisoned, and being in solitary confinement for over two weeks is generally considered psychological (and maybe also physical?) torture. that alone shows up in a lot of symptoms of his mental deterioration while in pandora's during people's visits, and quackity's "sessions" just absolutely drove the point home.

what he's gone through during this arc is absolutely incomparable to anything others charactes have faced before, and it's just plain suffering being endured by someone who is, despite everything, still a human being.

as for the wilbur manipulation thing!! it's talking about the whole vassal scene (though even beforehand a lot of their interactions are pretty iffy), and here's a post about that :]

I also have a small question about the analysis u last reblogged cus it says "why dream needed lmanburg gone rightfully" and like. The house analogy is poor because for one cus the land is infinite. And 2 cus punz's yard was literally larger then lmanburg. And also stuff about dream being a mediator? Can u provide examples?

i wouldn't say it was poor. dream's said a lot of times that he didn't care in the slightest about the land - a lot of his problems with l'manberg arose with the fact that wilbur basically built it on lies and tried to disallow half of the server to come there. c!dream was mad about the division and the fact that wilbur wanted "freedom" to have authority in his lands - over others, as can be seen in this post also.

the table analogy was fitting not because dream was some overlord, but because these were literally friends he invited to hang out and live in a place he wanted to call home. claiming a part of it for yourself and saying people of a certain nationality can't come in is directly opposing those goals.

in the early days of the smp, dream's always been a mediator between his friends - sapnap and george, who would often get into fights and go around killing each other! he would always do his best to stop the conflict, which continued after tommy joined when he took him to court and then later tried to mediate conflicts he was a part of, which resulted in tommy killing him unprovoked, stealing his gear, and starting the disc wars when dream was trying to get his stuff back. later, during pogtopia, he is also most concerned with peace over everything, and this seems to continue indefinitely after.

Today i was thinking about how messed up the final control room was. Like. Dream arranged the betrayal and punz and sapnap killed tommy and tubbo who like. Were literal children and their pals (because the author, wilbur soot, is dead/j but srsly if u take the streamers words tommy said he was 9 during the revolution sooo)

Sorry im gonna ramble about how dumb canon ages are for a second cus like. Streamers can say the characters are one way or another (wilbur saying he is mentally 30-something, etc.) But in the end the characters act like they(or at least their streaming personas) do.

i... honestly don't find it that bad? they were in a war, and the final control room was basically just supposed to end it quicker. the l'manbergians made it clear they were going to fight to the death, so they really left c!dream no other choice. and it's not like he didn't give them chances to give up.

also yeah the 9 year old thing was retconned, because in that case c!dream would've been 14 and i don't think that's true.

c!tommy and c!dream were both young and once again, in a war. the final control room was an attempt to assure victory, which both sides would've taken if possible, but only c!dream saw he had the option.

i do agree the whole child soldier thing was bad but... complain about that to c!wilbur, methinks. he talked naive kids into fighting for his personal power. however, the age argument isn't really valid either way. they had enough agency to sign up for it, and whether or not c!wilbur pushing the intense nationalism onto them had something to do with that is another debate entirely.

Bacl to final control room cus like??? Also fun fact punz took 2 of wilbur's canon lives. And like that probably is what started wilbur's paranoia which later lead to his spiral and i. Many thoughts full of lmanburg today.

i'm pretty sure cc!wilbur said what lead to c!wilbur's spiral was a "dark, twister view of possessions" and "disregard for his fellow citizen whom he claimed to love so much", but i really wouldn't say it was the control room; if anything the sudden loss of power after the elections seems to me like the trigger for his spiral.

I watched the exile arc live and. I feel dirty almost for feeling little to no sympathy for c!dream (srry ive been forgetting to add that aa) because of his actions toward c!tommy and like. The whole probation was so humiliating and unfair and c!dream was planning to frame him for the crimes he and puffy did under the the guise of "pranks" and c!quackity was planning to seize the vice president role.

i mean... to be fair, if you didn't watch the prison arc much yet or only watch tommy's perspective i understand not feeling that sympathetic - however, i encourage you to maybe watch a few prison visits, since they could help you see the whole picture better!

i also watched it live, and i also thought it was terrible, but i share very much the same sentiment for the prison arc because. absolutely no one should have to go through either of those things, you know?

i don't think probation was that humiliating? he was just. being asked to not start conflict with the other factions for two weeks. of course, what happened as a result is in no way justified, but i don't think probation itself would've been bad at all. either way yeah the framing and c!quackity's behaviour was. very yikes, i agree.

Also c!tommy antis are dumb because they say "he deserved exile angry emoji" i dont see u saying that about ranboo. Just say you hate cc!tommy and go. Also people say c!tommy was just as toxic to c!dream and i??? No. One is the victim and one is the abuser and like. :/// man. This part is rambly srry

i wouldn't say they hate cc!tommy? cc!tommy has a persona who people think is annoying at first ( but then they subscribe because he is super entertaining big man! ) but a lot of c!tommy's actions are straight up toxic to certain characters, such as c!funndy and c!jack. he has a very dismissive attitude towards others and their trauma and it does affect the people around them very negatively.

examples; his repeated bullying and behavior towards fundy:

Tommy: “Fundy, I’m just here to kinda let you know that I – if you weren’t Wilbur’s son, you would be out of L’manburg, alright? Just remember – you need to keep that relationship with your father. I saw how asshole-y and bratty you were acting in the courtroom the other night. You need to pull your shit together young man.”

......

Fundy: “I’m wearing glasses…are you making fun of my eyesight?!”

Tommy: “Yes.”

Sapnap: “Your father would be very disappointed.”

Fundy: “Wh – disappointed for wearing glasses?!”

Tommy: “You got glasses, like what are you wearing…”

Fundy: “What do you mean?”

Tommy: “Sapnap, Sapnap, over here. Fundy, Fundy, Fundy, I’m really sorry to say this – I’m just here to publicly denounce you.”

Fundy: “…What?”

( credit for transcript: @/findingjoynweirdstuff )

he's also responsible for a big chunk of c!jack's trauma, both with actions and words, and that's why i think certain people might dislike the character, and i don't think that's wrong of them. anyone can dislike any character they want if they don't attack people for liking them, in my opinion.

also c!tommy was most definitely toxic against c!dream in the cell. it's of course understandable but that doesn't change the fact he was constantly hitting and insulting him (without dream doing anything back for a long while until he snapped) which is toxic behaviour.

i wouldn't say he was "just as" though, so i agree with you on that. they're different and they behave differently.

i made a dream blob keychain today. Is it possible to send images if u wanna see? Idk cus i havent used tumblr before. I think that's all for now. Thx for letting me talk :D peepoShy -curious anon (but fr a connoreatspants c!dream redemption arc would be cool)

yooo that's cool! i don't really,,, know if it's possible to send images? try it out and if it isn't i'll try find a way to turn it on.

also, no problem! just please remember this is a c!dream sympathetic blog, and me as well as my followers are uhh,, oftentimes emotionally attached / personally relate to the character, so if you could avoid sending hate on the character (not that you have or that i expect you to, just a friendly reminder) in the asks that would be great! we already see a lot of it unwillingly so, i'd rather not see more, but as long as the discussion is civil i'm absolutely ok with you asking more and with me answering more questions if you'd want to! :)

if anyone else would like to reblog this and add some things i might've missed with my answers, feel free to, just go easy on her (she uses she/her pronouns!) and keep it factual.

i hope u had a good or at least ok time at school today :D

thanks! i gtg now because exam tomorrow but i'm going to try write the redemption essay tomorrow as well because ohhh boy i have a lot of ideas about what all i could write around the concept.

also sorry this was long, i can't keep my tongue on the leash :[

[rurifangirl]

aight. here somes the ask lore thingie

tw for ppl readin: mention of mental illness, father mention

firstly, how did rui end up meetin the rest of the gang? did they all have sum sort of run in? did they just happen to meet on exident?

also is the father a villain? i remember ya mention him, and was wonderin

and do they have a specific place where they stay? like in a dormstory, a single house, do they live in a single town, or in completly different places?

do any of them suffer from mental/physical illnesses? if they do, how does it affect their life/relationships w others?

Aight, so here we go, be ready cuz shit's long.

(1st part - The Rui n the gang meeting; The Shou meeting) No Tw

Honestly, I also kinda wanted to do this for quite a long time, so I'm gonna firstly talk about how the gang (w/o really mentioning the others name's since they're gonna get introduced soon) met itself and decided to form, and then I'll individually do It in Lyva's and Shou's case, specifically Shou's since i mentioned that his meetin was somethin id have to take care of in another post, so i will rn.

First things first, w the whole gang. Now It wasn't really casually, mainly because Lyva n Rui did meet up, but It was during a special occasion still, that being a really important manifestation in one of the main regions in my oc universe. (They don't have name's yet so pls don't bash me🤡) Them being primarly the Forest, where Rui eventually lives in after all of his past shit, the near-countryside part, where Lyva was living, a pretty much city living on water, where Shou's currently living, and many more, as such the dunes with which I'll introduce Qiran (hopefully tomorrow/today),The sea itself, some High up places and as I said many, many other more. Other than this brief intro, they meet up where Lyva used to live, but mainly because of problems and out of conviniance.

Everyone had something to take back from, so they agreed to help eachother to reach that end, so it's all really planned. Now i won't really go w Lyva, cuz i explained how she met Rui the first time n how they helped her, so I don't need to ramble more on this. Now I'm gonna go w Shou's part though.

This Is more of a note i wanted y'all to know first, cuz i really like how Lyva n Rui met him the first time (cuz the second time was when the gang then all agreed to form n all that jazz.). Basically, Rui n Lyva were out, n visiting new places as such, to prepare themselves further and to try and search for more weapons, cuz they both knew that they'd eventually get in trouble, and even though they still are good, they wouldn't stand much a chance, n since Shou's Place is known for its production they decided to go. N fun fact, there's many funny shit that happends, for example Rui tries to touch a fish, but gets SLAPPED by It. They're still mad >:[. Ajkskdj anyways, some other stuff happends n they just, lose themselves. They had a map ofc but still managed to do so. But Rui was usin It so, I don't really blame em for gettin lost.

Shit happends n they find themselves pratically in front of his shrine/palace. Shou's servitors (cuz he saw everything happend from afar n gave them the okay) brought em in, but rather than makin em idk some tea n just making them recouver, Shou rather put them under some "tests" w/o tellin em, to see if they were any use.

For example he brought them some cups of tea, but before drinking them Rui noticed somethin unusual in the water, so they gave Lyva a sign to not drink It, n as Shou asked as a reason why they just replied that they weren't thirsthy, leavin Shou in a kind of defeated state. Bitch if i love this part honestly, there's so much fun to seein all of their reactions, but I'm gonna go brief rn. So other of this tests pass later n Shou eventually gets upset cuz they're all winnin n seemingly makin fun of him, lettin him in a weaket standpoint, n a fight happends. Even though it's a 2v1 situation he can still manage pretty well, so It ends in a draw. They get to talk after this and get to understand that they don't have to necesseraly be on the opposite side, though Shou Is still unsure whether to belive in that or not.

After they leave him, pratically almost alone w only a bunch of servitors helpin him. He admits defeat n won't show up until the event and yadayada. (Also it's during this weak time of his he'll meet Qiran which i already have plans w so it's all goin to be said bout their relationship in their post.)

(2nd part, the father mention.) Tw:father mention

So it's true that w Shou i did mention his father, but I'm not entirely sure bout his involvment honestly. In theory he kind of is a villain itself, even because of his devilish nature, so it's true, but im not sure whether to make him an independent villain or part of a group of them. But rather than that yes, i do want to make him some sort of villain in the end, because that's also part of Shou's agreement to be part of the group. I will make concept art for him so he'll definetly be involved. Not gonna lie, mabye that bastards also involved w Rui's cult too in a way or another but im givin in too many details holy shit I'll never get outta this fuck

(3rd part- where do they live) No Tw

They live in their own homes honestly, but It would be no surprise if they'd all decide to sleep over someone in specifical, though they have their own place. I made some concepts for Rui's intern home, which here It Is 😤 (forgive me for the bad quality but it's 2 am rn 🤡) I made this a while ago but only did Rui's, so I'll do Lyva's, Shou's n the other one's too. They live in different places, for the exception of, atm, Qiran, since I'm gonna say that they're more of a traveller n don't have a stable home.

(4th part- the mental/physical ilnesses) Tw: Self harm and Mental ilness mention

Well, this Is gonna be a ride. They all suffer from Ptsd, which Rui n Shou suffering from It the most. It still affects them all, though in different occasions, so Imma just do them in specifical. (Also because i gotta add some shit to shou that i didn't wanna add because i thought It was too much honestly)

Rui-

It affects them really much. They use crystals n gems to avoid anything going w their past or anything remotely related It, as whenever they feel awful about havin those flashbacks when they still were a child. They never want to talk about what happened, n during their moments It gets really, really bad. Both emotionally and physically, as their body sometimes cannot handle anything so it completely shuts down. They never really got any help for It as Rui's too scared to share bout their experience, both because of trauma itself that doesn't make them say anything even if they wanted to and because of the cults influence, so either way they've got to handle It by their own.

Lyva-

Other than havin to deal w mornin sickness, which Is the least for her, she has to deal w her neglectful childood and how desperate she's always been for litteraly anythin, whether it's related about love,friendship, food, toys, anything. She tried to seek for help and semi found It, but as of now she can't keep up w It and has better things to take care of. It's still really bad overall, but she's hoping for things to get better. Spoiler It really won't.

Shou-

⭕Tw for sh⭕

It's... really fucking bad. I'm gonna get outta this w saying something i didn't want to add because it's really triggerin, but im gonna do It now. So basically, I've mentioned them acting feminenly for his own mother, but i didn't say what would've happened if he displeased her. She would just stare down at him and whispering some awful shit or names. This would happen especially whenever he'd slip off that mask of his or revealed even a tiny bit of his devilish essence. Note that he's still a child here. So, best thing he could to was to "punish" himself, which basically consists of him scratching his arms too much and, i don't really want to continue this, forgive me but it's kind of triggering even for me. But...you can guess what he's doing, since he even to this day still keeps sharp nails. I'm sorry for putting this, but it's another way to show how his mother fucked him up and now suffering from this.

I'm sorry for rushin the last part but i'm not personally vibing w it.

Tags undercut

@a-chaotic-dumbass @spoopy-fish-writes @dopesaladlady @damnfoxx (I'm really unsure bout taggin ya in this ;-;)

If you want your tag removed, dm me cuz it's 3 am at the moment n i may have messed em up. (I'm not gonna recheck tomorrow so that's why)

[czarojay]

LONG POST

Someone please stop me from writing the ghost tubbo idea i had a month ago to procrastinate on the dreamon au

Because like i had this AU and maybe if i write about it here it will stop me??? I can’t actually find the conversation on discord where i talked about it so i’m probably just gonna throw stuff here from memory and change half of it

Feel free to write a fanfic inspired by this, but 1. tag me 2. i’d appreciete if you credited the idea or at least said i inspired you ^^’

Ok so Tubbo died during the Festival. Like I don’t care if in this a Respawn!AU or Permadeath, irl or whatever. Tubbo doesn’t respawn and dies in Tommy’s arms. 

Assuming it’s a world with Respawn, Tommy just waits for Tubbo’s body to disintegrate or whatever the bodies in this AU do, as Techno massacrates people in the background, he just repeats to himself something along the lines of “C-come on Tubbo! Respawn already!”, but his friend stays limp in his arms, growing cold. 

In the end, they need to flee, like they did during the festival. Feel free to make Wilbur even more insane or evil whatever you prefer and make him leave the body saying either don’t take it, he’s a traitor, just like Eret or just it’s going to be a dead weight (ha, a pun!) (that was so inappropriate to the scene sorry ignore this), so they leave the body and it’s buried in the Manburg just like in the later Tommy’s stream where he zoomed onto the grave with a sign saying that here lies the traitor Tubbo. 

But you can also make Tommy carry his dead friend’s body all the way to Pogtopia, anger and grief clashing, still in the denial stage, hoping Tubbo will come back. Like Tubbo dies all the time! He’s just such a clingy, clumsy big man right? He will come back, right?! Tommy rests Tubbo somewhere in the Pogtopia on a makeshift bed hoping it will make the healing faster and as Techno and Wilbur talk ‘downstairs’ he realizes something. Tubbo isn’t coming back. He would be back by now normally. 

He’s shook to the core with the realization and shakingly goes down to Techno and Wilbur. The pit happens, but at the end, even after Techno’s speech about the language of violence, maybe Tommy snaps? Maybe Tommy yells how Tubbo isn’t coming back? Maybe the older men, practically brothers to Tommy, realise that Tubbo is nowhere to be seen? Maybe they realise the boy, the spy, the victim of the situation is dead? Maybe Niki stares and gasps in horror in the background and is the one who goes to Tommy first to comfort him and help him with the wounds from both the pit and the whole today? Maybe Wilbur stares in horror at his fists, realising he’s the one who put Tubbo in danger? He wanted Tubbo to do the speech, he made Tubbo run back and forth between the two leaders, maybe if he didn’t pressure Tubbo as much, Schlatt wouldn’t have noticed. Wilbur falls to the ground and sits with his head between the knees for a long time, wondering about what he did wrong. 

Technoblade?  He’s awkward and we all know it. He may be a god of PvP, the best farmer in Minecraft, but he’s still awkward. Of course he wants to comfort his little brother, but what can he really do? He’s at loss and still hasn’t fully accepted what he’s done. He killed Tubbo, but he had thought he’d respawn/survive(I really went at the beginning and said this can be also for permadeath au and then wrote it all about respawn au but whatcha gonna do huh). 

Overall the tension in Pogtopia is high, but to be fair, so is Manburg. People didn’t know about the execution and (you know what im just gonna keep going as if the respawn au was planned) the brush with death, even if they respawned, was never pleasant. It’s even worse when they somehow find out Tubbo didn’t respawn. Some people are happy with the fact, others are in shock and grief. 

And here can end chapter 1! Or at least it feels natural for me to cut off somewhere here! Idk really it all depends on your writing style. I'm not gonna dictate how you’re supposed to write idk myself neither. 

Assuming Tommy took the body with him, he later goes on to the only place where Tubbo found peace. Where Tubbo went during the war, the only place where he wasn’t bothered, where he was safe and truly free, without a leader or a dictator over him. Tommy went to Tubbo’s jungle base. 

He took the body with him, not letting anyone of Pogtopia know where he’s going, not wanting a Wilbur or a Technoblade, especially a Technoblade with him. He felt as though he needed to do this alone. He needed to make sure his friend, at least posthumously, gets the treatment he deserves. So he buried his best friend as he would bury a king. 

Tommy spends the night at the jungle base and awakes at night, by a greenish blue light. It’s not too strong, but it’s just enough to be felt. He rubs at his eyes, trying to awake himself, to see if he’s not seeing this, but there it is. A will-o-wisp floating in the middle of the building. Tommy gets up, picks up his sword and carefully maneuvers around the wooden beams with a collapsed floor, he gets to the centre. 

He gently cups his fingers and let’s the ember fall on his hands, but as soon as it touches them, there’s a bright flash and Tommy falls to the floor momentarily blinded. When he regains his sight he looks up and sees a ghost floating above him. Its back is turned to him, but he can tell it’s as confused as he is. But wait… He recognizes that shirt. It may be more bright and glowish, but… 

“TUBBO” he screams in the dead of the night, the nature suddenly quieting. The spirit turns around with phantom tears in their eyes “,Tommy?” they whisper and that was the moment both of them were sure of each other’s identity. 

Tommy rushes, tries to stand up and hug Tubbo, but he simply passes through the boy. 

As disheartening as that was, Tommy is still overjoyed to see Tubbo alive. Or at least here, as they soon agree that he is in fact dead. Feel free to put a flashback here, a new paragraph or whatever maybe a new chapter from tubbos perspective.

 The last thing Tubbo saw was a grim grin from Techno and a flash of blue and red fireworks. Here is a “how creative can you get” test! You can put somehow afterlife looks like, maybe something comes for Tubbo to go on, but he refuses? Maybe he sees nothing or everything is a blur? Maybe it was the last thing and the first thing he saw was Tommy’s crying face? Here is your free chappy for all the angst it can fit! Have fun go wild, turn on some sad music and let it ALL out! 

Tubbo and Tommy talk for long and Tommy tells Tubbo the fallout of his death and Tubbo tells Tommy what happened from his perspective. 

But here’s the funny thing, because I don’t know what you think, but… ghosts aren’t actually bound to places! They’re spirits they can go wherever they please! So Tubbo decided to stick around to Tommy. And as they travel and reach Pogtopia, they find out, Wilbur or Techno don’t see Tubbo. From a brief moment, where Tommy was sleeping and Tubbo broke away and went to see Manburg after the festival on his own eyes, he meets Schlatt and as he stops his breathing (he doesn’t need it, he’s dead, he just does it for comfort or out of habit), he’s scared, he think he’s noticed and waits for insults or a surprise or a sorry or a laugh, he feels something phase through him. Schlatt didn’t see him. Schlatt can’t see him. 

After a number of tests Tommy and Tubbo settle it. The leader can��t see the spirit. 

Niki can see him, it’s settled pretty much the day after Tommy came back, with a shout of fear and surprise and later happiness. 

Quackity can see him as it’s settled, when Tommy meets him in the forest and Quackity aside from being scared shitless by a teenager with netherite armour, he sees a disoriented, glitchy ghost behind the teenager, floating creepily, lighting up the forest around them in a sickly cyan light. 

Everyone can see Tubbo, but the people who caused his very death.

AND I’M DONE HERE. I DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT. I CAN TRY TO THINK OF SOMETHING IF YOU ASK ME, BUT RN AS I’M WRITING THIS DOWN I DON’T KNOW. 

Reminder, if you want to write this plz credit the idea <3 Also holy shit this hit 1831 words how.

[trashcanfills]

Dear god why ok now i just had a weird mha dream with stain AGAIN. Like after some time i moved from mha fandom to dabble in other fandoms and then NOW MY BRAIN REMINDS ME OF MY FUCKING CRUSH ON THIS NOSELESS MAN after like how many months since that other vigilante dream with stain wtf hnnnngh pls brain stop doing to me

Ok but the dream was kinda interesting cus it was like an mha au of sorts. In the dream, I was of course a vigilante, and I didn’t display any visible evidence of quirk usage so i might have been quirkless? Was just hopping around the worse parts of various cities to stop crime happening whenever I can. Several times i just happen to encounter this other vigilante dude who was Stain when we chanced upon like the same crime scene.

Interestingly he wasnt known as a serial killer in this au, like yes he has apparently killed a few ppl but not specifically heroes or anything. He felt familiar to dream me for some reason and pretty sure it was the same for him so we became a bit more chill and friendly in our encounters.

We chatted a bit and apparently hes in the middle of an investigation of his own. He admits that he wasnt always a vigilante and had a kinda good life going for him, until sth happened that nearly resulted in his death and he became the person he was today. The circumstances resulting in his near-death were very suspect, which was what he was trying to look into.

It was implied that he was a Hero at some point so I filed that info later for research. I did some investigating on my own and from comparing his current self and his quirk to various other heroes that have been KIA, turns out he was an underground hero. Cant rmb the hero name tbh. But it hit me that this man was sb I had a history with, before I became a vigilante.

Flashback happens. Shows that both of us were classmates in the same hero high school. He was a loner like me, since we both disliked the class who wanted to be heroes for the wrong reasons. We became acquaintances, then friends once we realised we shared similar ideals of being a hero to help ppl. And uhh there was also a hint of something MORE btw us that I dont think we explicitly talked about (even tho we actually fucked once in his room or sth??? And we just end up not talking abt it for some reason?? Hnnnnngh???)

Closer to our time to graduation, we had plans to be heroes together. Oddly I had a really really bad gut feeling at this period of time, and told Chizome that he has to become a hero even if I didnt manage to, and that he has to move on even when Im gone. Which he was confused and upset by but I made him promise that cus you never know. I also wanted to talk to him abt the nature of our relationship, but before i could do that, something HAPPENED. And whatever it was I cannot for the life of me recall it but prob made me drop out of school and disappear altogether. Whatever happened I think really fucking spooked Chizome and made him grieve for me, but he made me that promise, and so he determined to continue being an underground hero, for his ideals, dreams and for that promise to me.

Dream me was confused and curious and also like wtf cus she didnt know she had known Stain, a close “friend” (cough cough) of hers before becoming a vigilante??? Which was weird af. There was a concerning gap of missing memories for a couple of months. I brushed it off earlier on apparently cus my memory was spotty in the first place, but usually i was able to rmb like the essentials of what happened in my life, so when I realised i couldnt rmb ANYTHING for this period of several months got me suspicious af. Earlier on I just thought I had dropped out of school to become a vigilante, but turns out it might be way more than that.

Cant fully recall details in the dream afterwards but it was strongly hinted that there was sth fishy going on wth the Hero commission grp and some weird gov conspiracy regarding the hero industry. That apparently Chizome was getting a bit close to while he was an underground hero which is why he got nearly killed. And then the dream ends here.

Oh boi this is such a fucking cool story idea cus I can imagine the story later on, dream me realises that whatever happened to her has got sth to do with the hero commission/gov conspiracy thing, like witnessing sth she wasnt meant to. Because of those realisations she decides to help Stain to on his mission, even though hes like no its dangerous and MY investigation and also secretly worried af for her. Then dream me might have chosen to tell him what she knows which means uhhh stain would realise that who she was and go from confusion to shock, and a whole bunch of confusing emotions plus rAGE cus someone/some grp had done this to her and also cus he still does care a lot abt her.

Whew ok this became like a fucking long post. I have figured out an ending I can put buuuut i aint gon spoil it just yet in case i might write this out cus damn. This also just made me realise I have a type, which is guys who are passionate and strong moral ideals they follow.

Thanks to anyone who managed to reach to the end here. This actually kinda reminds me of a stain x reader concept I had thought abt before. Prob might share it in a diff post uwu

[2021ssajka]

This month has been very challenging for me. (personal post below, you can read it)

From having plans to go back to the Philippines, to cancelling that plans all together. I initially wanted to go to the PH because I wanted this to be my gift for myself as I am graduating with 2 majors. I wanted to visit my family there and spend time with them, as well as my dad (sick). 

My dad and I dont have the best relationship, so it has been even more challenging for me. 

Ive been in America for 10 years now and this whole time Ive always wanted to go back and be with my family there since I love them very much and they are a big part of my life. Ive always imagined a nice vacation and going on trips with my cousins. Painting in my little terrace of my childhood home. basically reliving my old life when I was 12. I still kept that dream till now.

I am only now realizing that, that perception of the Philippines I had in my head is still the vision I had when I was 12. I am realizing now that its a fantasy and not the reality. 

------

This planning process for the Philippines was super last minute and impulsive, given the pandemic and me finding out my dads condition is not getting better. I booked a flight right away without any plans whatsoever. I was hoping it would be a spontaneous time where my family would bring me around to places and etc. I was even just fine with just staying home and just being in the company of my cousins that I missed so much. 

Everyday since I booked that flight, there were complications and drama rising. My dad has becoming paranoid and his narcissistic ways are coming back and has been triggering me. We have been fighting a lot since then which turned into getting more people involved with this fight. Resulted with me having a major panic attack and meltdown that I do not want to go at all. 

All the bad memories I had of him in my childhood came back. Everything was coming back to me- everything that I have burned at the back of my head and forgot about. I thought time has healed me but I was wrong. my past trauma came back and I felt like I was stuck into this trip without knowing what I signed up for.

I was not okay for many days. I felt like I was a helpless child he were able to control, manipulate and emotionally/mentally abuse again. I kept praying.

It was then that the Philippines announced that there were implying a travel ban on the day I booked a flight. I felt that this was God’s interfering in order to protect me from him

--------

This has been an eye opening experience for me. 

Growing up in a traumatic household and moving to another country made me deal with things differently. I realized that me being overly positive and optimistic and being grateful for everything is a trauma response. Its a survival response. 

At a young age, My body did not know how to process these traumatic events and emotions so I shutdown. Its like when you have an accident and your body go on emergency mode and you wont feel the pain. I think that is what my body went through. I remember a time when I was a kid and I was numb for a year. It was through art when I tried healing myself and holding on for hope. 

for a long time- till now, everytime those events in my childhood are being talked about, i literally have a panic attack and I shut down. I cannot listen to it or talk about it without crying. 

When I moved here. I started a new life. I had a clean slate and I tried to forget everything bad that has happened. Its like I cleared out all the bad memories and held onto the good things, thats why I had such a fixation in my childhood in the Philippines because after a while, I only believed that I had a good childhood there. (i didnt have a right grasp of my real past). This also explains the reason why I wanted to visit that place so bad- bc i can only remember the good things, and I had a breakdown when my bad past caught up to me because that no longer existed in my head. 

This explains my fixation in my memories of the Philippines in my art work and why I use happy colors. I only saw that place as the “good place” when in reality there are many bad things happening in that country (not only in my personal life). 

ive only realized these things now... 10 years later when everything came back to me as flashbacks when my trauma was triggered. and it explains everything in my life especially in my artworks. it explains why I do what I do and I have such empathy for myself because I realize that the artist in me is the kid in me 10 years ago. 

-----

I realized that when I moved here, I viewed the Philippines as my ESCAPE. my safe haven, the place I would want to go back to and retire to since this was my home at the age of 14. I had such yearning for that familiarity when I was living in a foreign place that I developed such fantasy in that place.

I started painting when I was dealing through traumatic events in the Philippines, just when I was about to move here. I used to paint encouraging words in my art, having it as my sense of hope in those challenging times. 

I guess that still lives on in my today. I still use my art as my sense of escape and I am only realizing that now. I have always mentioned that these landscapes are my “safe haven” and now I understand why. Ive always referred to my art as a “healing act” but i never really understood why. 

I realized that my view of the Philippines is different from reality. I made this to be a romanticized place where I had a nice childhood in but that was not the whole story. 

------

This is why it is so hard for me to reference anything negative in my work. Ive always used my art as a positive act, to bring hope and encouragement. I still stand with that. I still resonate with my work and it is still valid. but now I see my work as two sided. Its not only that narrative but also the past that I have forgotten about. 

I have always had trouble with my art classes because teachers would always push me to do negative emotions in my work- so not just positive but also the negative aspect of the full spectrum of emotions.

This has always been a difficult task for me because I dont want that. My body rejects it. I used art to heal and they would want me to express the nasty emotions here. now I understand why I react that way. 

My mother is also a trauma survivor of my dad. So her, my sister and I share these experiences together. This also comes from an immigrant narrative who had nothing on her back when she came to this country, literally building herself up from dirt. My mom is the one who would always teach me to be grateful, to appreciate what we have and to be positive- to the point that thats all I did. to the point that it buried all the negative emotions and memories that I was not able to heal completely and is now still in that place. 

--------

its a lot. its like I just found out a different past that I never knew of. but im so glad I figured this out now. Its like I finally have an explanation why I am who I am today. Everything is valid, there is a reason why dealt with that problem that way and I dont regret it. 

Im just so glad I finally have answers. It just explains so much and im mindblown lol

I am not comfortable having this as a narrative of my work even if it is probably the main influence of the work i do. Im also not comfortable of talking about this personal story with other people and in my work. 

I just refuse being an abuse survivor as my story... I am more than what I have been through... so im trying to figure that out.

I am now trying to know myself again, my full self. 

Im excited to see how this changes my work hehe

[turning-dreams-into-chaos]

Say You Won’t Let Go

*Not my Gif*

Requests: I would love a Remus x Reader with a lots of fluff if you will. Thank you in advance. Anon

Please please please if you could can you write a fluffy Remus piece based on the song Say you won’t let go by James Arthur?!?? Thank you so much I love you!!!! 💜 Anon

Post Date: 10-02-19

Paring: Remus Lupin x Reader

Word Count: 1.5K

A/N: Tell me what you think please! I wasn’t sure how I felt writing this 😂. Also if you are writing a fic you want me to read feel free to tag me!!! ♥️

~Master List~

~Harry Potter Master List~

~My Plan~

Listen to Say You Won’t Let Go by James Arthur here!

*First italics is a flashback and then after that is the song lyrics*

“You ready for this mate?” Sirius asked as he clapped Remus on the back and the man stared into his reflection in the mirror. Remus gave him a smile and fixed the lapel on this suit as Sirius checked him over making sure everything was fine in the outfit aspect. “I can’t believe you’re actually doing it.” Sirius whispers made Remus chuckle and take a glance at the moving picture above the fireplace. The small picture was his favorite, both you and him just sitting at the dinner table before you threw your arms around him in happiness, the exact moment Lily came into the room carrying a baby Harry and a camera. Warmth spread through his body as he thought about you, turning back to mirror with a beaming grin across his face.

“I can’t believe you’re getting married today.”

“Lily I don’t like parties!” You yelled over the booming music, tugging on your best friends arm as she ignored your arguments again. Her eyes were scanning the dimly lit room for the idiots you both decide to spend your time with before a small tap landed on your shoulder. You glanced behind you, getting sight of a ruffled brown hair before your lips turned into a smile. Letting go of Lily’s arms you turned towards Remus, accepting the outstretched drink he gave you with a soft grin. “The best part of parties.” You whispered as you finished gulping down the drink.

“Figured you’d need it. Can’t believe Lily actually got you to come.” His voice was loud but you still couldn’t hear him over the music. He leaned down to your ear, barely inches from your skin as his breath tickled you right down your spine. “I didn’t think you’d be here.” His voice was deep as he spoke making you shiver.

“Almost didn’t, but Lily me she’d go to Hogsmeade with me tomorrow.” He chuckled and nodded, finding humor in the fact he knew you needed to be bribed to actually leave your room. You stretched your hand out, grabbing a cup someone a year younger than you just poured. He was about to complain before you gave him a wink, making him blush and start pouring another. He barely finished it before you grabbed that one as well, handing it off to Remus who just stared at you in shock. You shrugged and drank the liquid in front of you, loving the cozy feeling it brought you before the buzz started to hit you. At this point both you and Remus had a few more drinks and conversation was flowing. You really had no clue what you were saying but it didn’t matter. The music around you became muffled in your ears as you clung to Remus, swaying way off the beat and you tried to sing along a little.

“I know I needed you, but I never showed...” you began as Remus let his head bob to look at you, a drunken smile playing on his face as he joined you.

“But I wanna stay with you until we’re grey and old, Just say you won’t let go...” you were about to sing the next line before your stomach started doing flips. Without wasting a second, you stood over a waste bin, emptying your stomach contents into it. For a moment all you think about was throwing up until a pair of hands was pulling your hair back from your face, rubbing your back up and down before you finished. You smiled at him over your shoulder and pushed away from the now foul smelling container. By luck, Remus wrapped an arm around your waist and let you fall back onto his chest as he rested on a wall. You sat like for a while, neither of you saying anything as Remus’ arm remained locked around you and you held it close to your stomach, watching the lights of the party dance in the room as your eyes started to close a little before Remus nudged you from behind.

“Come on, you should get some rest.” He whispered into your ear as you nodded your head. You both struggled to get up, leaning onto each other and the wall for support before he lead you to your room, staggering along the way. You plopped yourself down onto the mattress, giggling to yourself as Remus helped tuck the sheets over you.

“Stay with me?” You asked softly, eyes hooded over as you pressed yourself into the mattress and looked up at him. He fixed the blanket to cover the spot you made for him and pressed a quick kiss to your forehead.

“You need to get some sleep Y/N. I’ll let Lily know you’re here.” He said before your body succumbed to a light sleep.

Remus’ eyes were casted upon you, watching the way your body moved slightly from breathing. His thoughts ran rampant as he finally went left your room and headed to his, talking to Lily real quick along the way before finding himself falling into his bed with you on his mind. He knew the moment ok looked at him with those big Y/E/C eyes that he was in trouble, you knocked him out of his stupor with just one look.

Remus looked down at you once again, only this time you were smiling wider than he’d ever seen wearing a white dress. Your hair was done in your favorite style, and your lips were a nice red that Remus just wanted to press his onto. And after you both said the magical words, kissing you was exactly what he did.

——

The years only did you and Remus better. You had a son, Teddy who just turned 11 and Remus landed a job as a professor at hogwarts where Teddy was finally old enough to attend. You and Remus both stayed in the castle, throughly embarrassing your son anytime either of you would see him but what you mainly loved to do was watch your husband teach Defense against the Dark Arts. It was always hard during his “time of the month” but you figured out a way around that. Since you were just as knowledgeable in the subject as Remus, you would take over as teacher for the days needed. Remus always felt bad though and the next day he was better after his moon days he would wake up early and head to the kitchen, getting the house elves help to make you the perfect breakfast.

“Good morning.” Remus whispered into the bedroom as you tossed in bed, moving to face him with a smile.

“Morning Moony.” You cooed as he pressed a kiss to your head, much like he’d done that night. It seemed so long ago he realized he loved you but he knew that nothing could ever change his mind. He joined you with your breakfast before you both got up (officially) and got dressed for the day. You wound up in front of the mirror, staring at your reflection with a frown before Remus approached from behind.

“What’s wrong love?” He asked as you sighed.

“I have grey hair Remy.” You sounded more disappointed than sad but Remus still couldn’t help but chuckle a little, making you feign offense towards him. You looked back at him, so beautiful, and all he saw was the girl from the party, the girl he fell in love with.

“Im so in love with you and I hope you know. Darling your love is more than worth its weight in gold. We’ve come so far my dear, look how we’ve grown, and I wanna stay with you until we’re grey and old...” Remus sang in your ear, pressing your back into his chest and listening to his words.

“Just say you won’t let go, just say you won’t let go.” You joined him, letting your fingers intertwine with his.

“Let’s grow old together.” Remus said, this time not singing. Your eyes softened as you stood on the tips of your toes to kiss his lips, catching him chuckling against you.

“I think we already are.” You joked and ruffled his hair, letting him rest his arms around your waist and you wrapped yours around his neck, playing with the short hairs there. “I wanna live with you even when we’re ghosts.” You whispered over his lips, feeling the light touch of his over your bottom lip.

“I’m gonna love you until my lungs run out.” Remus continued, making you both sway to the beat of the music in your heads. “I promise till death we part like in our vows.” You finally pressed your lips flush against his slowly as you both melted into each other’s embrace. Remus’ hold on you got tighter and you deepened the kiss.

You didn’t know what the future would hold but you knew Remus would stay by yourself the whole time because he was always there for you when you needed him the most. You pulled apart from Remus and sucked in a breath, losing yourself in his eyes before he smiled, letting you whisper in his ear one more time.

“Say you won’t let go.”

Thoughts?

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[thehighestmountains]

taylor swift's new (now old when im writing this) album, folklore, is by far my favorite album shes come out with. dare i say my favorite album of all time.. no, no, i can’t. you know those wonderful mature songs sandwiched between all the pop-py, repetitive songs: this is that album. i do understand when people say this album is quite boring, many songs sound similar, but if you are a fan of indie folk, you will be able to pick up on the subtleness.

note: the lyrics i post below with each song, im emphasizing them for the musical moment, the way the song sounds at that point, not necessarily the words themselves.

1. peace. this is a musically and lyrically beautiful song. not only is every second of this song captivating, it physically pulls me on my heartstrings when she asks would it be enough if she could never give him peace. the vulnerability and also acceptance of the consequences of her unique circumstance is palpable - she feels it, i feel it. 

The devil's in the details, but you got a friend in me Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?

I talk shit with my friends, it's like I'm wasting your honor

2. my tears ricochet. i would honestly just paste the whole song below, because again, this entire song is interesting and flows so beautifully - the way it climaxes at the end of every bridge just rings and echos. its very moody, sullen.

And I still talk to you When I'm screaming at the sky And when you can't sleep at night You hear my stolen lullabies

3. epiphany. im particularly invested in the first half of this song, it feels like sitting in the pews of a silent, empty church with your head hung low.

Crawling up the beaches now Sir, I think he's bleedin' out

Holds your hand through plastic now Doc, I think she's crashin' out

4. the lakes. im in love with the chorus, and the first verse. its romantic, cottage core (not that this entire album isn’t cottage core).

Take me to the lakes, where all the poets went to die I don't belong, and my beloved, neither do you

5. mad woman. im literally feel angrier and sadder singing along, that women are mocked of their hysteria that you caused. shes huffing under the weight of these industry men.

The master of spin has a couple side flings Good wives always know She should be mad, should be scathing like me, but

6. illicit affairs. the way this song blossoms from shy, embarrassment to i dont deserve this, anger, is truly beautiful story telling. my only thing is that it ends quite suddenly.

Don't call me "kid," don't call me "baby" Look at this idiotic fool that you made me You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else

as you might be able to tell at this point, i really enjoy the later half of the album, and thats because i listened to the first half when it first came out over and over and over again until it was a gray snot rag. then i waited a whole month or whatever to listen to the second half. thats just how i chose to do this. so im actually sick of the first half, but i do remember which were my favorites:

7. the last great american dynasty. i think the fact that taylor was able to find a similarity, a connection with this woman who had previously owned her home and write a wonderful story about it is charming and plays until the whole folklore concept.

8. seven. the contrast between the verses and the chorus is so fun, like how is this the same song?

Sweet tea in the summer Cross my heart, won’t tell no other And though I can't recall your face I still got love for you

9. invisible string. although cheesy, the writing of this song really sells it for me. i absolutely adore the way the lyrics are in this song, the format “.* was a .*”. she retells all these lovely details. its dreamy, its a great ode to love and its complicated relationship with time.

Time, curious time Gave me no compasses, gave me no signs

Time, mystical time Cutting me open, then healing me fine

Time, wondrous time Gave me the blues and then purple-pink skies

10. the 1. this is really a wonderful break up song, when youre at stage 5 of acceptance “and it's alright now”.

I thought I saw you at the bus stop, I didn't though

Persist and resist the temptation to ask you If one thing had been different Would everything be different today?

11. cardigan. i actually bothers me that this is clearly a lana del ray song, but its none the less a good song, and when she sings “i knew you” before the start of every uniquely different chorus, i can feel her heartbreak.

I knew you Tried to change the ending Peter losing Wendy, I

12. exile. the culmination of their two voices and ballooning at the end is stunning artistically.

13. august. the first half is slightly predictable, it rises and falls exactly where you think, but the way the second half of the song does a 180, and i quite enjoy it.

Do you remember? Remember when I pulled up And said "Get in the car" And then canceled my plans Just in case you'd call Back when I was living for the hope of it all For the hope of it all "Meet me behind the mall"

14. betty. i do think this is a great complement and light hearted balance to the more serious side of the album. its kind of a fun vibe when youre in your car, singing along “will you love me, will you hold me”, but if i want teen romance songs, i prefer august over betty. 

Standing in your cardigan Kissing in my car again Stopped at a streetlight, you know I miss you

15. hoax. i dont quite understand what the song is about, where is she coming from? who did this to her? im genuinely confused, but with nearly every song at the bottom of this list, theres still moments i enjoy.

Stood on the cliffside Screaming, "Give me a reason" Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in

16. this is me trying. this doesnt do anything for me. she sings that she is trying, but is she really? im not at all convinced in fact. also this lyric is disgusting: “I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere”. ??? i still like the bridge, an escape from the rest of the song:

It's hard to be anywhere these days When all I want is you You're a flashback in a film reel On the one screen in my town

17. mirrorball. this is skippable. “You'll find me on my tallest tiptoes Spinning in my highest heels, love” is sickly sweet, this is no real backbone to this song. again, the bridge is an escape from the cotton candy swirl of a song:

And they called off the circus Burned the disco down When they sent home the horses And the rodeo clowns

jesus christ, did i do it, did i do all the songs, that was so many songs. we ended on a sour note, but i still think this album is a 10/10.

[stwolfhardimaginez]

award shows. f.w imagine.

this is so long omg

^^ you and finns outfits.

today was the award shows, i was never good with awards or interviewing or anything like that just cause i always kept to myself and wasn’t that type of person, but being on a show i had to do all the side things that came with it.

“y/n come get ready with me and millie!” i heard sadie say as she entered into my room, as i nodded and smiled.

i got up and looked at my dress falling in love with it, each and everyone i would see it.

it was a long black dress that i paired with black heels.

i hurried down the stairs to see sadie and millie dancing and singing r.e.m to each other.

“i could buy you anything but i cannot buy you.” i sang as they looked at me I’m surprise.

“who knew you could sing?” millie said - “ you don’t know a lot about me.” i said winking at the two girls smiling ear to ear.

i started putting my makeup on as i was dancing to my my my! by troye sivan that i didn’t even notice that sadie was recording me dancing

she posted the video and caption it as ‘ someone is excited for the awards.’ as i watched the video i looked back at the two girls smiling at me.

“what the hell?! i can’t have finn see me half ready.” i said, the first thought being of my boyfriend.

“you look fine.” millie replied coming up beside me and putting her hands on my shoulder to comfort me in a way.

ive been dating finn for a while and at the award show we planned to announce our relationship while taking pictures by posing together as a couple.

as i got back in my room to start getting ready, my phone made the message tone telling me i had a message.

it was finn.

he sent me the video of me dancing and in a blue text bubble it said, ‘you’re a cutie.. also noah says hi.’ the message made me laugh out loud then i quickly wrote a response and finished getting ready.

i looked at sadie and millie and they looked great.

“you guys look so pretty.” i responded as i saw them waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs.

“so do you!” they said at the same time which made us all laugh, couple minutes later we got in the limo and headed to the awards, the whole way there we sang songs and talked about how happy we were for season three.

but all i could think about was finn, seeing him and making our relationship public, i remember when we had a fight because we were live streaming and the fans kept asking if him and millie were dating.

flashback——-

“ask us questions!” finn said as i sat beside him, but not to close for the fans to suspect anything.

i leaned in and looked into the comment section where all the comments looked the same.

fillieshipper29292: where’s millie? are you guys dating?

filliebraincells: YOU AND MILLIE ARE GOALS

filliesmileven: please come out with millie already.

a spark of jealousy broke through my body and i didn’t wanna live stream with him anymore.

“im gonna go call my mom.” i said, finn looked at me with a confused look knowing my mom was working right now.

“is everything okay?” he asked me and i nodded.

“everything is terrific. im fine. bye guys.” i said waving to his phone and stormed out of the room and went into my own room.

i had my face in the pillow and just laid there wanting to leave the world, i wanted so badly to smash my lips against finn’s to show the people commenting i was dating him, but it wasn’t that easy.

as i stopped thinking, i felt the bed dipped knowing someone else was in the bed with me.

“y/n/n” i heard finn’s voice and i sighed.

“go away.” i protested, “y/n/n” he said again, and this time i turned over to look at him.

“what?” i said waiting for his protest,

“what’s wrong?” he asked me coming closer to me.

“nothing.” i said avoiding eye contact with him.

“so you just call your mom when she’s working all the time?” he asked me and i gave him a death glare.

“okay. it’s just, ive liked you for so long and seeing those comments just makes me- i don’t know finn-“ I was saying but finn interrupted me.

“jealous?” he said and i smiled from embarrassment and laid back down not wanting to be faced with looking at him.

he was then right in front of me, inches away from me actually. “ y/n. i like you. i chose you. if i wanted to date one of them then i would but i don’t cause i want you.” he said and i grabbed his face and smashed my lips against his.

flashback over.

“y/n we’re here.” sadie said to me breaking me out of my thoughts, i got out seeing the red carpet, the paparazzi and the fans waiting behind the barricades but no finn, or any of the boys here.

“y/n! go talk to the fans.” my security guard said as i walked over signing things and taking pictures with fans and walking along.

i got to the red carpet and started posing by myself even though i wish finn was beside me, i tried to forget that he wasn’t there and just posed and laughed with the paparazzi.

as i was posing someone grabbed onto my arm, shocked i looked over and saw finn as i smiled and hugged him.

“you look so beautiful ” he whispered in my ear as i blushed at him.

“finn!, y/n! smile over here”

“you guys are so cute!”

“smile this way.”- “come on. you aren’t giving me anything.”

was all i heard and from all the flashes it was hard for my eyes to adjust after getting my picture taken so many times.

i then felt finn grab my hand, “ come on.” he said as we moved along the carpet to the interviewing section, as finn was ahead of me i finally got to see what he was wearing and he looked great.

“y/n! finn!” an interviewer called us over as we walked over to the tall man with a short camera man.

“you guys look so great for tonight!” he said and i smiled and thanked the interviewer.

“any spoilers you can tell us for season three for me.... at least.” he asked, i laughed before responding.

“i would... but the duffer brothers would probably send the demogorgon from season one and the demo- dogs from season two after me-“ i was saying but then finn interrupted me.

“i want her here and safe so we cannot do that.” finn said as i looked at him with heart eyes.

“are you guys dating?” the interviewer asked me as finn interlocked his fingers with mine.

“uh- yes.. yes we are.” i said stuttering from how nervous i was, “so is he the mike to your eleven?” the interviewer asked as i smiled at looked up at finn.

“she is. she makes me really happy.” he replied which made me blush.

after few more questions, we walked to the building where the award show was actually being held and found our seats rather quickly.

“you nervous?” finn asked me, i looked at him being so confused, “for what?” i responded.

“you’re up for an award baby.” he said as i totally forgot, “ i probably won’t win, i don’t even have a speech planned out.” i said as he laughed at me then the lights went down.

“now up for the last and final award of the night.” the announcer anounced and i grabbed onto finn’s hand for comfort.

“and the winner is.... y/n l/n.” as i heard my name, i felt like i was dreaming but instead i connected my lips with finn and hugged sadie, millie, gaten and caleb who were beside them.

“uhh.. hi.” i said into the microphone. “i don’t have a speech, but i would just like to thank the duffer brothers and Shawn Levy for giving me the privilege to even be on this show.. and wow ok im crying.” i said taking a moment as i turned my back to the audience and heard them clap and cheer for me.

“okay and finally id like to thank my boyfriend and also cast member, finn wolfhard for existing and always helping me with lines and pushing me to be the best actress i can possibly be. thank you i love you baby.” i finished shedding some tears as the announcers brought me backstage.

this is one award show no one will forget.

[kingofthewilderwest]

it kinda bugs me how they cant make httyd3 longer just so they can emphasize the story in a deeper meaning, like your post abt it being disproportionate. httyd3 had a LOT more plot than httyd2 and we can already see how it has to cramp so much and why that makes D2's pace felt pretty fast. the structure of the story is actually well planned.. perfect, to be exact! but the execution like putting pauses, necessary humor, longer dialogue, is whats needed to make it um, understandable? im not sure..

this isnt meant to judge the movie as bad though! but its a question ive been asking why they cant do it longer, for that sake. is it the budget? was Dean really certain the script is okay? or is it meant to be like this so people can interpret the movie their way? (oof that one is confusing).. i dont know, i want to ask about your thoughts on that >

From this.

It’s an interesting conversation for sure! I believe that THW doesn’t have to be longer to be extremely successful in the ideas it needs to convey! The core ideas being:

Toothless cannot be a wild dragon and strong alpha leader with humans. Other dragons probably deserve the respect of needing wild dragon needs, too.

Humans like Grimmel are extremely dangerous to dragons and will continue to arise, so dragons need to go to an area separate from humans to live in optimal peace.

Hiccup and Toothless’ powerful friendship will separate (insofar as physical location) due to the first two points

I know you’re not the only person I’ve talked to who wanted a longer time because you feel like certain elements were cramped, needed more breathing room, or that dangerous plot points didn’t get enough sense of weight. More time would presumably give that flow and sense of scale and danger. Now, it’s true that more time would give us more content to develop these things. That said, I believe solutions aren’t always “add more.” Creating good art isn’t about adding new things; it’s about knowing when to take away or alter, and how to make every second of your creation count optimally.

I remember when I was doing my music composition degree, my instructors hammered into me what would make a good final piece: the editing process of deleting measures - even measures that were really good! - because they didn’t fit what the final product needed. It’s painful to delete, but ultimately, it’s freeing; instead of making a music piece more cluttered to put all possible good ideas in, I can make it less cluttered, more manageable, more beautiful, more meaningful, and more effective to audiences. A better overall piece isn’t putting in every good idea I have; it’s leaving the piece with the beautiful ideas it needs.

I suggest The Hidden World doesn’t need added materials so much as it needs refining what’s already there.

Budget, production green lighting, and carefulness to the script all seem to have been done. HTTYD 3 was given a longer production time than originally planned. They pushed back the date exactly so they could make their best product. Interviews with people like DeBlois and Spielberg (who read several definitions of the script) talk about how much the script was transformed and bettered through its drafts. They did enough tweaking and care to rework the script. As for budget, the movie was 129 million USD, which sure was the cheapest of the HTTYD trilogy to create, but it’s about on par with what DreamWorks has spent on other movies like Home and Trolls - it’s not like there was skimping - and it’s all about making your money count, which I think this glorious, top notch animation quality film effectively did. So from what I’ve heard, I think production ran fine and we can’t question THW there.

I think most of THW’s problems can be solved simply by tweaking how scenes go down, taking a few small elements out, and adding a few small elements in. It doesn’t need time changes; it needs internal modifications to what’s already there. What I propose wouldn’t change much of the movie’s length - though maybe I we could add 5-8 minutes for things like a longer climax.

1. To Feel Less “Cluttered” or “Rushed”

The movie didn’t feel rushed to me or too cluttered, but it’s cluttered. You’re right. In addition to creating less clutter, my suggested tweaks will clear up time THW can spend elsewhere, streamline THW into fewer palatable essential ideas, and give a slight tone makeover that will add more sense of danger and conflict that THW needs.

Fewer humor side gags with minor characters (and less time spent on them). The gang’s antics are fun additions, yes, but that doesn’t mean they’re central to what the plot needs. Spending too much time with them adds clutter and takes away from plot-central, tone-central material. There’s a huge gaggle of gags in THW, more than any movie needs in a less-than-two-hour-long run time. Do we need all these to give THW its comic relief? Don’t get me wrong - I loved the humor - but time needs to be prioritized, and the movie will be improved once “less is more.”

Less time with Tuffnut’s pep talks. This goes with my first point. This comedic gag was lengthy in particular. It’s in part because it connects to the idea of Hiccstrid marrying, which THW does make more central in its themes. However, I also propose:

Spend less time (or delete) the will-they won’t-they marry Hiccstrid plot. THW intends to parallel Hiccup and Toothless maturing into adulthood, including their romantic connections. However, a will-they won’t-they marry subplot in Hiccstrid isn’t needed to create that parallel. Not to mention: it can be uncomfortable to have this undertone of romance as “required” adulthood maturation, and the fact that Hiccstrid are so close and intimate makes it feel “off” that they’re so uncomfortable talking about marriage. Spend less time here, simply make fans aware they’re going to marry in the future but not today, and return to the main relationships THW needs to pay attention to: that of Hicctooth and Nightlight. 

2. To Make Grimmel a Greater Sense of Threat

One of the central points is that Grimmel is extremely dangerous and represents one of many humans that’ll continue to be a threat to dragons. While Grimmel can be overcome, Hiccup will need to interact with Grimmel in such a way he can understand that dragons and humans cannot coexist in today’s civilization without continuing to risk danger, and that it’s best for everyone to live happily in two separate civilizations. It’s not being defeated by the enemy’s oppression, but taking a brilliant countermeasure to give humans and dragons both a better existence.

Making Grimmel feel like a greater sense of threat, and helping audience members understand what Grimmel represents overarchingly of humanity’s current antagonistic state, will help us and Hiccup process why a separation is best. This can be done by:

Show Grimmel’s impact on human society. All we’d have to do is change what his base looks like: it could be located in an area taken over from another human civilization, showing his army’s power and place in this world over humans.

Greater weight placed on Berk’s exodus. The Hooligans lost their home, but it’s played too lightly. It’s not written optimally as an emotionally impacting or destabilizing moment, which decreases the sense of threat Grimmel has. Instead of having the Hooligans excited to find New Berk, show them grieving. They can butt against Hiccup’s ideas of finding the Hidden World, but instead in a way where they’re frustrated at his naive solution and hurt at what they left behind. This isn’t adding time to THW; this is tweaking phraseology and presenting an event differently.

Change how Berk is abandoned. To make the attack feel more dire, threatening, either: 1. Have the Hooligans more reluctant and grumpy to leave in the town meeting, and not play the leaving scene so lightly, or 2. Have Grimmel chase them out of Berk so they have to flee then and there. This might even reduce time! 

Show Grimmel’s power over dragons. We could have a few-second-long flashback of him standing over a field of dead Night Fury bodies, or have his place cloaked in dragon skins or skulls. 

Show Grimmel’s power as a warlord. Grimmel acts in almost a solo fashion, despite cooperating with warlords and having an army. It doesn’t give us a good sense of scale. Show his interactions better with the whole of his forces to make him feel more dangerous, and for humanity as a whole to feel more like a threat against dragons. For example, in the scenes where he’s trying to trap the dragon riders, show him commanding more people.

Show Grimmel’s impact on the dragon (and/or human worlds) through landscape. What if, as the Hairy Hooligans try to find a new place to stay, they fly over several islands that have been destroyed by Grimmel’s forces? Either human civilizations, or homes once havens to dragons, with characters making comment they “hope” people got away. And what if, when Grimmel takes their dragons near the end of THW, it’s again through more violence and a raid and fire and destruction? 

Conversations more clearly talk about Grimmel’s dangers over dragons and humans, and how he’s one of many people that’ll arise. This idea is embedded in THW dialogue, but not clearly enough to fully grasp its weight, especially not in the sense we see characters grasp this. Have Hiccup and Astrid and Valka or something talk about how widely destructive Grimmel is, how even once he’s gone another man like him will take his place, and that while they may continue to fight and win for human and dragonkind, it’s ultimately not the right move to make for everyone to live safest and alive. A conversation laying this out makes a world of difference in our understanding of what dangers are going down and why we need to come to the solution THW concludes with. Again, this isn’t adding time; it’s changing phraseology. 

Add a few minutes to the climax. Make the final fight with Grimmel obviously the final fight, the threat bigger, the action more intense.

Perhaps show that Berk’s done good work changing the world by their choices. Even though Berk ultimately decides to let the dragons go, they are meant to be the voice of peace that changes their world. The good guys can’t resign to letting themselves live under the thumb of bad guys’ choices. Show that they’ve made a difference - Grimmel and his armies are gone and the world is regrowing (no more torched landscape, if we add that element in) - but that it’s still going to help their world by letting dragons go, too… for this generation, at least.

3. To Make Hiccup and Toothless’ Parting Jive Better

Hiccup and Toothless separate out of need - they can’t live in the same place for the better of both their kinds. However, since the movie spends so much time on Toothless chasing after the Light Fury, we don’t get that full sense of need. I propose:

Open THW with a clear Hicctooth sappy bonding moment. We need things like “Forbidden Friendship” and “Where No One Goes” to feel the power of Hicctooth’s love. Give us that starting sense in THW of how close they are before adding in the complications. It can even be done by tweaking how the opening fight scene goes down.

Show dragons profiting by living with humans, but it also being Complicated with their wild side. We need to acknowledge that the relationship between humans and dragons has done the dragons good, too! Otherwise it might feel incongruous with the rest of the franchise.

Show dragons being unfit in the urban area through their own restlessness. The movie tries to show this with Moosie Boi being too big for Berk, and Berk being so crowded with dragons Gobber finds the soup unsanitary. But if we see Stormfly restless and want to leave for the Hidden World, too, wouldn’t this say something more about where dragons are pulled to and belong?

Less time spent on Toothless investigating the Night Fury. You can’t cut this down too much or we’ll feel like rushing, but since THW focuses so much on just Toothless and the Light Fury’s connection rather than an overarching problem for dragons, it’s hard to feel the full-scale issues of the problem. Making it just him and her feels more like a hook up love story than “dragons and humans are incompatible for their needs.”

Change Toothless’ body language. Show more emotional division in Toothless about his conflicting options. Show him hesitant to leave Hiccup and the two interact over that. Show him lonely away from his kind when with Hooligans. Show him feeling that loneliness met - that deep emotional need of being with his own species - when he’d thought was lost to him (rather than focusing on it being a romantic hookup interest). This doesn’t take more time; it tweaks what was already given on screen.

Change Toothless’ emotions with the Light Fury to feel more like loneliness being met than horny boi practicing kissing with a rock. This does a better job of showing that Toothless has a deep need that needs to be met as a wild animal and as a social draconic species.

Change conversations Hiccup has with humans about Toothless’ struggle. Maybe have Hiccup processing less with people and more by himself or with Toothless. Don’t write the conversations with people be about “Toothless has a girlfriend” and “of course he left.” Discuss instead how Night Furies are social creatures and Toothless hasn’t been with his kind in six years - that’s a huge hole in his heart being filled. Validate the deep connection Hiccup and Toothless have, while simultaneously acknowledging the struggle of this moment now. The movie shows that the Light Fury can never be domesticated, so I think that’s fine, but maybe one line from Astrid saying, “I don’t think she’ll come to live with us,” would be enough to help other audience members pick that up too.

More time spent on all dragons being in danger, and Toothless as an alpha unable to protect them with Hairy Hooligans. The story doesn’t show Toothless being much of an alpha - intentional - until he reaches the Hidden World and it clicks. But I suggest it’d be more effective to pull this out more than having an issue with Moose Boi taking up too much space in Berk, and Berk being so crowded Gobber has a dragon in his soup.

Put more of a deal on Toothless being an alpha. You can say that Toothless didn’t understand or use his role as alpha when with humans, but I think showing more sense of conflict, and of an alpha needing to be wild to protect his own, would be useful. Make this an issue for all dragons. The alpha status being used as a blackmail device against Toothless to keep the Light Fury alive could be replaced with us seeing the full species of dragonkind being unable to be protected by an alpha apart from his own people. More needs to be done than dragons bowing to him in one scene to understand what the alpha does for his society.

Show Toothless with more Light Furies. The Light Fury being his singular focus is great. But what about, in the Hidden World, Hiccup and Astrid watch Toothless interacting with a whole group of Night Furies, and he’s clearly in a situation that was Made For Him?

THW already has great content in there - Toothless and the Light Fury interacting, Hiccup crying when he realizes Toothless is fit in the Hidden World, Hiccup freaking out and Astrid comforting him when he feels a low, and Hiccup and Toothless parting ways touchingly at the end.

With these proposed tweaks, we get Toothless and Hiccup’s relationship being addressed deeply from the angle of both friends. We understand what both Toothless and Hiccup emotionally feel, and palatably sense how both love the other. We get a sense that Toothless is attracted to the Light Fury and might want to mate, but that she’s also calling him into a wild life and reminding him that he’s been alone, separated from his kind. We get a sense that it’s not just Toothless, but all dragons who might be called back to the Hidden World. We get a sense that it’s not just Toothless, but his whole role as alpha affecting the entirety of dragonkind.

And once we add in a greater sense of Grimmel being dangerous, and that more humans like him will continue to rise up, we can understand why Berk would release all their dragons. It’s not that dragons hate living with humans - THW can make that clear - and it’s not that dragons haven’t been profited by living with humans. But in the current call, the current situation, it’s best to go to the Hidden World.

I’m mostly tweaking how scenes go down, changing lines and reactions rather than adding material. Feel free to propose a longer movie! For me, THW already has enough space to share its message. Maybe it needed to be a few minutes longer, but I suppose my own sense is that they had enough time to budget in this material, make a smooth-flowing movie with all the material they needed to present, and come away with an astounding storyline.

Like you, this isn’t meant to judge the movie as bad! It isn’t bad! It’s downright wonderful in many aspects. I’m so happy I’ve seen it and can scream over it! Simply, if I were in charge of tweaking the script, these are the first alterations I’d make, and I think it would make THW even better.

[artisticdagger]

All

CrACKS KNUCKLES

Alright boys. Time to feel some Halloween finally tonight.

Boogeyman: what’s your weirdest/most irrational fear?

I. am so fucking terrified of Balloons. I love them but i never want one near me or within my field of view. Party Stores are so much fun but i spend the whole time thinking about the balloon blowing station in them

Candy Corn: what’s the best Halloween candy? the worst?

The best are those fucking Jolly Rancher Sticks hands down, the fact you get a plank of hard candy gets me, but I wont say no to any of those small packaged sour patch kids either. Something about them being in small doses that just. Warms my soul. Worst? Tie between Licorice and pretzels for sure. Thats just radiating I Hate Fun. 

Crow: do you believe in omens? which ones?

Yes but more obvious ones. Like a black cat ain’t scaring me off or nothing. But for example. I was driving home from a late night class. My windows were fogged up no matter how much i tried to get them cleared up, meaning it was hazy as hell. It had been pouring rain, so the streets were flooded up, Vultures cover my campus. Merging onto a highway with foggy smeared windshield, reflecting puddles all over the place trying to determine what was headlights and what was reflecting, my fav radio station, which only EVER plays hard alternative music, suddenly started playing this slow, soft, sad song about someone dying in memory of the radio host’s dead dog? And all i could think was that this is how tragic backstories start where the movie flashbacks to how this important person died. Needless to say. I took it real slow going home. 

Exorcist: do you believe in demons?

Oh fuck yeah. Maybe less in a biblical sense, although still stemming from a place of that for sure of like. Evil Entities probably from Darker Dimensions. Probably get confused as Evil Ghosts which i think dont really exist honestly, i think most Evil Ghosts are probably demons here to fuck your shit up. Souless lil fuckers here to be piss babies. 

Ghost: have you ever encountered a spirit or haunted place?

BUDDY. MY OLD HOUSE WAS HAUNTED AS FUCK. And im sure everyone says that but Do I Have Some Stories that include me asking my parents if “The Man Is Gonna Follow Us” when told i was going to go to Disney when i was like five or six. Freaked the shit out of my parents but they kinda already knew the house was haunted cause a lot of just. Freaky shit happened. It was a very old house. 

Haunted: do you like haunted houses (or corn mazes, hayrides, etc.)?  if so, what’s the scariest one you’ve participated in?

UHhhhhh no? I’m. I dont like jumpscares i have Anxiety. and most of those are people you pay to just jumpscare you. I did enjoy a few Haunted Hayrides back when i was Very Little but only the parts where people didnt come out of the forest to chase the ride with chainsaws. 

Mothman: do you know of any local urban legends, or is there an urban legend that really freaks you out?

I am not really freaked out by them but i think it’s cause the only Urban Legend that is local is the Jersey Devil? And I dont know why people are scared of him? Because he only attacks people who have a Blackened Heart? So he’s like… a good guy? The only reason you have to be scared of him is if YOU are a bad guy?

Mystery: what’s the strangest unsolved mystery that you’ve heard of?

oh shit uhhh. Strangest? God I dunno. Roswell. Maybe not the strangest but i think it’s just fucking WILD that like…. FBI people themselves have come forward to say shit about it. 

Scream: favourite horror film?

HM. horror films don’t really do it for me. I’ve watched so goddamn many. I once watched the entirety of the Saw Franchise, all like, what, 8 movies? In three days? My favorites have to be The Strangers films. Hits close to home of my weird fear of being broken into. Also my younger mind remembers watching Girl ON The Train and loving it but i’d have to rewatch it again tbh. It’s got some dark ass themes though, i do remember, so be careful if you ever check it out. 

Spell: do you believe in magic, or any sort of otherworldly powers?

Mmmmm. I dunno. Yes? I think? I believe there are people out there with them for sure but i also believe in the power of human brains and belief to just be that fuckin weird sometimes. 

Trick or Treat: do you have any plans for Halloween this year?

It fell on a wednesday when i dont have classes so i couldnt dress up to go to class. Im Too Old to go out trick or treating. I have no friends and therefore No Parties. I went out to brunch and had a therapy sessions today. Press F.

UFO: do you believe in aliens, and do you think they visit Earth?

YES. YES I DO. ONE HUNDRED AND TEN PERCENT. 

Werewolf: what cryptid or monster do you think could actually exist?

Yes.

Witches: are you going to dress up this year? if yes, as what?

I went to a lil costume party this past Sunday! I dressed up as a Warlock! Kinda? I dunno! You got discounts for wearing a witch hat at this lil town event thing so i went too ham. I’d post pics but I took None of myself. and all the others have friends who dont want their face Out There. 

[blazing--soul]

On Triggers.

// ...I don't normally make posts like this, and I'm not typically one to bring my personal life onto my rp blogs, but I really feel like the concept of “triggers” need to be addressed. 

// placing under cut. TWs for mentions of sexual assault and self harm. 

// something I've noticed recently, is the general attitude of society as a whole when it comes to trauma. People seem to conflate the term "triggered" with "offended", "angry", "upset", and the like, when in reality, those terms are NOT interchangeable.

// in the world of psychology, the term "triggered" is used to describe the physical and/or emotional response to being reminded of an extremely traumatic event that has happened to them in the past. What happens when you, well, "Trigger" the adverse effects of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. 

// It's not Papa 4chan's "lol r u triggered" memes. It's not a joke. And it CERTAINLY goes MUCH farther than simple "baggage" that can just be tucked away and forgotten about.

// if anyone wants to know what can happen when someone's triggered, it's not just those "war flashbacks" you hear about in war veterans. It often revolves around the sufferer being forcibly thrown back into the mental state they were in during a traumatic experience. It's highly distressing for someone with PTSD to be reminded of the thing that broke them. This may get a bit personal, but I'll use myself as an example.

// on Sunday, September 10th, 2017, i was led to the house of a man i met on the presumption that we were simply to hang out as friends, because he offered to drive my carless ass home after an event. In reality, he had other plans. And on that day, this man forced himself on me in his bedroom, and I was raped. My goodwill and trusting nature led to me being sexually assaulted against my will. 

// as one might imagine, this has left massive scars on my psyche. Anything reminding me of that day could seriously damage me mentally. The best possible result of me being triggered, is disassociating, shaking with anxiety and crying.

// the WORST possible senario, leads to an irrational, full-on mental breakdown. I'm sobbing, i feel terrified as though I'm back in the situation, a feeling worsened if im pinned or trapped in any way (which can result in my blindly lashing out in a terror-fueled attempt to escape), i start feeling sick to my stomach, and a powerful, irrational desire to claw at places he touched because i feel so revolted, disgusting, and like a hideous, disgusting human being, like a used toy. I'm practically inconsolable, practically babbling incoherently between sobs until i finally calm down, and even then, any wrong move can set me back off until the episode I'm having is over.

// it's not a pleasant feeling. It's not a situation that I'd choose to be in. It's something i wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. So today's mindset of "lol, no safe spaces, grow up and get over it" is honestly disturbing and unbecoming of anyone i'd want to call a friend. Because accommodating someone with an undesired, and highly detrimental disability is just basic human decency. If you'd open the door for someone on crutches or in a wheelchair, why would you tell someone who literally devolves into a frightened, terrified mess against their will when shown reminders of atrocities in their past "dont like it, then gtfo"? Why lock someone out of an entire experience simply because they can't be fucked to, i dunno, provide an easy workaround to appease all involved when it can be done LITERALLY at the press of a button?

// it's the reason blacklists exist. Why trigger warnings exist. It's in the same god damn vein as wheelchair ramps and fucking automatic doors. If you can put in a shit ton of effort to make sure a physically disabled person can navigate a building, then why is it so difficult for today's world to make the effortless move to tag triggering content, or make a new separate room in a group chat setting so that way people can enjoy what they like without estranging those of us who can't look at said enjoyment without being reduced to a pathetic display of fear and trauma? 

// like, i write a lot of potentially triggering shit at times. a lot of my ocs have been through major emotional and physical abuse. but i still fucking tag it, because i care enough about people that i don’t want abuse survivors to experience that same pain of being triggered.

 // it just... gives off an impression that people either don't understand trauma, or just don't give enough of a fuck about trauma victims to provide a workaround for the sake of their mental health. And honestly, it hurts a lot.