#im open to questions :]
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You will not be able to fully understand or relate to people with differing disabilities. Being disabled yourself does not give you immunity to having biases, ableist ideas, or misunderstandings about people with different disabilities. We all have unique struggles and things that help/hurt us, and it's both beautiful and frustrating. It's what makes our community strong but it also can lead to infighting and miscommunication. Be aware of other disabilities, listen to people outside your specific condition. Don't talk over others and if you do apologize and learn from it. Don't assume because YOU haven't encountered something that it means anyone talking about it is lying or exaggerating. We can still have each other's backs without having the same experiences. We can do this. Take my hand.
#wrenfea.exe#disability#disabilities#cripplepunk#neuropunk#madpunk#and yes that includes me. i am human and i have and will make mistakes#what matters is how you act after making the mistake#when in doubt ASK POLITELY#dont like run up to a stranger and bager them with questions#but find someone (like me!) who is open and willing to answering questions about their disability experience#as long as you ask nicely im pretty chill
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TWISTEDS AU
Toon Astro and Cosmo Designs!
#Im open to any question about my AU!#artists on tumblr#art#drawing#my art#digital art#ask box open#ask box#ask#Twisteds Au#dandys world#dandys world au#dandys world fanart#dandys world cosmo#dandys world astro
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regarding dr ratio's team join voiceline with aventurine
idk where it originated from but i've been seeing this notion that the ENG voiceline is horribly mistranslated and ratio is much more caring and friendly in the original CN. THIS IS LITERALLY NOT TRUE HE IS JUST AS BITCHY IN BOTH LANGUAGES
as a native chinese speaker i actually really love hsr's localisation and i would like to clarify the misconception + explain the cultural nuance/context behind this particular voiceline
i think this tweet might've been the original source for this misconception? op's translation of the CN line is very literal and completely lacking in cultural nuance. while the sentence 管好你自己 does literally translate to "take care of yourself", it lacks the automatic positive connotation that this sentence has in ENG. CN is a high context language -- aka the meaning of a sentence can be totally different based on context clues like tone, body language, etc.
ratio's tone in this line is not the tone of someone who is concerned for a friend. it's standoffish. when said in this kind of tone, the meaning of 管好你自己 is closer to "mind your own business", making the ENG "keep to yourself" a more accurate localisation.
in addition, the word 管 has connotations of controlling/managing something -- directly translating this to "take care of yourself" means it's missing a lot of important nuance.
granted, the second half of the line is a bit unnecessarily aggressive in ENG. the CN is more like "I have no need for your concern", and explicitly saying that he believes aven's concern to be "false" in ENG is definitely a lot ruder than the original line.
However. in my opinion it's not Too far off base. the way he emphasises the second half of that voiceline in CN carries an implication that he actually disdains aven's concern; we can extrapolate from context clues that he feels this way because aven's concern is just an act. tldr; eng line explicitly saying "false display" does make it ruder than CN but it didn't just come from nowhere -- the implication is already there in CN
this is not to say that ratio doesn't care about aven or see him as a friend. imo the reason ratio is so standoffish in this line is because any display of concern from aven here has the clear intention of teasing ratio. they both know ratio can take care of himself perfectly well. this is just how their dynamic works -- aven makes silly playful comments and ratio deflects them by acting cold.
in conclusion: ENG voiceline is not a mistranslation. hsr localisation is definitely not perfect but in this particular case i feel they've done a fairly good job of conveying the original meaning. thank you for coming to my ted talk
#SORRY FOR THE LONG ASS POST#Im just passionate about accurate localisation#if you read the whole thing thank you seriously#if anyone has other thoughts or questions please feel free to share under this post or in my inbox or wherever!#i did cross check all this with another native speaker but im open to hearing other ppl's interpretations too#dr ratio#aventurine#aventio#ratiorine#not necessarily ship but ill tag anyway#honkai star rail#hsr#long post
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What is the PR disaster in question that made Rick announce TSATS? I wasn’t active in the online fandom at that point
Of course! This was awhile ago so it figures people don't remember it/aren't familiar:
Basically a couple years back (2020) the fandom had some posts circulate discussing the ways different characters in the Riordanverse were written poorly or offensively. There was a masterpost that went around tumblr but the two major points people were particularly focusing on were Piper and Samirah (particularly because Piper had featured prominently again in Trials of Apollo recently and the third MCGA book had further emphasized and discussed Samirah being Muslim, since it was supposed to take place during Ramadan). Basically each had multiple posts breaking down the ways they were depicted incorrectly or offensively. The entire fandom for a little bit was VERY intensely discussing this (and it's around this time the "RR crit" tag got very popularized on tumblr - it did exist before, but suddenly was being used VERY frequently - cause it was that wide-spread - though the discussion took over basically every side of Riordaverse social media on different platforms). People really wanted Rick to respond to these criticisms, so he did!
He made two blog posts, one about Piper and one about Samirah. He has since deleted both so the links are to archived versions. The short version: he essentially tried to justify his poor research and double-down that he hadn't written them offensively, actually, people were just being mean to him. The fandom, of course, reacted poorly to this.
[Further elaborated events under the cut since this got a bit lengthy]
(Fun fact, this all happened within a month or so of the time i posted an open letter on aphobic tropes in the Riordanverse that Rick replied to, and then he immediately followed with announcing that Reyna was intended to be ace-coded [which cause a LOT of fandom debate] before Rick dipped for a couple of weeks, and then came back to post the blog posts in response to Piper and Sam stuff. So I like to jokingly refer to this as "The time I imploded the fandom/drove Rick off of twitter." Twas I that set the house ablaze.)
Rick fully left social media after this and the LT Musical social media manager became Rick's social media manager for the time being.
So this all happened June/July of 2020. Tower of Nero would end up being published in October of 2020 and a few months after that Rick would state that he was done with the series and wouldn't be writing any more series installments involving Percy, and also that he wouldn't be writing a Nico quest following Tower of Nero as it "wasn't his place to" and encouraged the community to write their own versions of Nico's story.
The community continued to circulate the tumblr posts and discuss the topics of Rick's offensive character depictions, and this is also where we see the dramatic shift in how the fandom depicts Piper in fanwork (though in most cases it is admittedly not an improvement 😬) because of all this discussion. This is also around the time when the fandom brought Viria under scrutiny claiming that she was whitewashing Piper as part of the same discussions, through the justification that she was drawing Annabeth as having tan skin (which she does canonically), and if Annabeth has tanner skin then Piper then that's whitewashing Piper? Except they were using completely separate images of not fully rendered Piper art versus Annabeth in dramatic lighting, so it's all very awkward and poor logic, and did actually get kind of racist. A lot of people were calling it "Tannabeth Blackchase" (yeah, i know) or similar and a common sentiment you'd see repeated is "Don't draw Annabeth as having darker skin than Piper, because that's offensive/racist/whitewashing." (Note: it was not phrased "don't draw Piper as having lighter skin than Annabeth" - we also won't get into certain offensive depictions of Native Americans, but I digress). But yeah, the Annabeth stuff in all that did not age well at all.
Anyways, in October of 2021 however Rick would announce that he was co-writing The Sun And The Star - with a lot of heavy emphasis on how Mark Oshiro works as a sensitivity reader, and some false advertising from the official social media that Mark Oshiro was the first time a non-Riordan author would be collaborating on the series (disregarding the ghostwriters completely). One of the big criticisms in the breaking down of issues in Rick's writing was his lack of ever seeking a sensitivity reader, and fans claiming that a sensitivity reader could solve a lot of the problems. This was basically Rick's "look! I totally listened!!!!" (though it did little to actually improve things, based on the book) and in TSATS as well Piper gets a large cameo at the end where the text very directly addresses a lot of points made in criticism of Rick's writing of her.
We also then of course got the CoTG trilogy later, explicitly stated to be for advertising purposes for the show.
So basically, short version: Rick came under scrutiny for a lot of offensive writing within the span of two months, made some bad blog posts doubling down about it, left social media. TOA ends. Rick says he wasn't going to continue the series/write what would become TSATS. Community celebrates the end of of the franchise but also continues to discuss Rick's poor writing and the blog posts at length. Rick suddenly announces TSATS and Mark Oshiro's involvement. Everybody gets distracted from being mad. Show announcement stuff also happens and the discussions peter out.
#pjo#riordanverse#fandom history#rick riordan#rr crit#ask#boywithskull#anonymous#long post //#fun times fun times#im always amused by the bit where i come in. like oh yeah i played a major part in the middle of all of this#i didnt mean to but i was the beginning of the end#maybe thats why this book is my personal hell. its in direct retribution#its really weird though because Rick did not usually reply to people on twitter but he responded to my open letter WITHIN HALF AN HOUR#within half an hour of me posting it he replied and then rapid-fire replied to like two or three other random tweet questions#at which point he confirmed he wrote Reyna with her being alloromantic ace-coded in mind (''but you dont have to agree'')#(i should note also - rick's reply plus the ensuing tweets HEAVILY implies he did NOT actually read my open letter. lmao.)#dipped off twitter for a couple of weeks. came back to post his blog posts responding to criticism about Piper and Sam#and then left social media completely. people kept talking. oh look new book pspspsp. look show pspspsp.#but so. yknow. i did that. it was ME!!!!!! and i will never let him forget. i know what he did.#i will never let him live down shitty PR move to try and sweep those bad blog posts under the rug
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[sharing/rb appreciated 💛]
my silver artbook is FINISHED and will open for preorders on 8/31 at 12pm EST!! it's been almost 3 months of work and i'm so excited to finally be able to share all the art i've worked on, PLUS a small bonus charm!
if u know silver fans,,, tell them
#FINALLY! i'm finishing up setting the shop this week and orders will open on da weekend <3 couldn't be prouder than i'm doing it#i went back and found my first statement of wanting to draw this series and it was end of MAY and now here we are!!! hes REAL#ive always wanted to publish some sort of artbook or personal zine but showing unrelated pieces felt wrong i need it to be a PIECE#so this series was perfect. im making this book for all of us. silver fans must win we have to we must. but also. im making it for me#i love him so much i crave more work for him desperately so i feed myself. and i love the diasom community i love us i LOVE US!!!!#no crumbs. no. only a full meal. the finest i can offer. silver my son you are sleepy and wonderful and i love you dearly#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#diasomnia#silver vanrouge#if anyone has questions feel free to reach out however!! qs or dms or whatever. i got ur back <3#suntails
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Tumblr really did not want to let me upload this file. Anyways. Phys Skills!
in case you haven't seen the other designs they're here: [Psyche] [Motorics (currently redesigning)]
#but i wanna try and get the int skills done before i go back I think#see you all again in two months /lh#disco elysium skills#disco elysium#disco elysium art#harry du bois#half light#endurance#physical instrument#electrochemistry#shivers#pain threshold#if you have any questions about design choices im open to them if you're niceys about it#left to right its PT endurance phys in echem shivers and halfight#disco elysium furies#the furies
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your hitman au is so my favourite thing ever, everytime you upload about it i lose my marbles (positive)
thank you :D i have a lot of ideas about it, and a wip comic for it that i'll get to Eventually (i may have gone to zine hell) but have a panel from it that i like
#im always open to talking about it if anyone has questions it helps me work out my own thoughts to talk about it as well \o/#asks#convexian hitman au
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(ID in alt) hi sorry for back to back marvel fanart I swear I still have dc stuff lmao. However I did recently read X-Men: first class and got a bit carried away doodling this after Lmao
#marvel comics#x men#scott summers#jean grey#hank mccoy#bobby drake#warren worthington iii#charles xavier#anyway#picked X-Men: First Class#out of sheer curiosity and desire to know more about the X-Men and I really enjoyed it!#Idk how in line with canon it but. Whatever tbh. Anyway that was the inspo behind this#just the og 5 fooling around and being silly teens#jean being the flirty one probably isn't very in character at this time period (jean doesnt really show any interest in scott in first clas#but it was too cute to pass up#also charles looks so much more pissed off than i intended 😭 there's this one issue of first class where he's just BERATING the xmen#just yelling at them psychically and eventually its revealed that it wasn't actually Charles but i didn't question it at first#which is kind of mean to charles. but idk i haven't gotten far with the x-men (im being very casual in my reading rn)#so maybe he deserves it#also i keep making bigger and bigger drawings bc i know that those print well#but i keeo forgetting that tumblr murders the quality of the image when you upload it. bwahhh#anyway i think i am finally going to knuckle down and open commission slots for part of july#idk how much a bad boy like this (lined coloured and shaded w/ multiple characters) would cost but we're gonna figure that out#honestly i might slightly under price them just to encourage ppl to spring for them#okay that's all for now I PROMISE I HAVE DC DRAWINGS TO SHARE i was just in a serious drawing funk and drawing some characters-#-that I'd never drawn before (like shulkie and now the xmen) helped break that funk!#mine
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"but hamas is getting funded by extremist islamic hate groups!" do you think the U.S. government and military giving funding for israeli's war efforts against palestinians is a morally neutral and inherently righteous body that had no influence in the politics of southwest asia as a global colonial superpower. do you really think anything you can say about the people resisting oppression can't be said about the oppressors.
#brieuc.txt#palestine#this isnt me justifying it but it is me pointing out the double standard how hamas' funding is antithetical to the freedom movement#but the u.s.' influence and financial support is completely fine and doesnt need to be brought up at all#''hamas doesnt have the best interests of palestinian people'' may be true but the alternative is not allowing an apartheid state to exist#also its a ridiculous thing to say because thats a common thing in most countries#neo-nazi groups r a major problem in the Ukraine military but nobody questions ukraine's right for freedom.#the double standards keep on piling up#im not saying you cant criticise these groups but is it criticism or is it propaganda#are you talking abt how war radicalises and changes n traumatises people or are you implying every palestinian is a dirty terrorist#etc#and do you understand that in an active war zone n worlds largest open air prison violence is guaranteed and is brutal.#or do you think that if the people with no electricity and water just Werent So Stubborn And Talked everything would be okay?#and do you consider white people fighting for freedom martyrs but brown people doing the same terrorists
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hiiii i made a zine about cockroaches for u my friends ♡ this is my first time making one of these ^w^
#𓆣#i like taking photos of it like this cuz its like im opening it for all of you :(#:)*#if anyone has any bug questions or comments id luv them too ♡
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baby leaf mic’d up (slight cut and edit by me for mints moments)
#DAWG HIS YAPPING😭😭#always a yapper love him#questioning everything too#‘YEAH YEAH IM OPEN!’#him giving the shirt to the lil kid🥹#he’s so cuteeeee AGH#fraser minten#fm39#william villeneuve#ryan tverbeg#toronto marlies#marlies#ahl#hockey#maple leafs#toronto maple leafs
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I literally have No idea how to go about making a post for this but I have a teepublic now!! And I’ve put a BUNCH of bbu pride designs on it that you can check out now if you’d like!!!
Here’s just a few of the designs I have available right now!!! You can get them as stickers, on shirts, and many more things!!! Happy Pride Month!!!
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
#designs not pictured:#oscar (x2 variants) / arthur / belle / basile / hayes#im currently working on scrimshaw / percy / fresca / marmalade / calico jack!!#and i wanna make pom / dimitri / lily / lewis stickers once i get the confidence to ask for their flags lmao 😭 /lh#im very bad at asking simple questions i feel annoying… 😔#BUT I DIGRESS… THESE HAVE BEEN SUPER SUPER FUN#AND IF ANYONE GETS ANY PLEEEASE LMK AND BE SURE TO SHOW ME WHEN U GET UR ITEMS!!!#thank you 💖💖💖 happy pride!!!#robin’s art#billie bust up#2024 art#bbu billie#bbu aristotle#bbu elaine#bbu dutch#bbu fantoccio#bbu barnaby#pride month#i’ll also be posting the individual designs on here once theyre all done :-)#also also related i opened comms in the style i use for rhe stickers!!!#if ur interested u can check out my kofi (link in carrd / bio) + dm me :)) hehehe#AGAIN THANK YOU AND HAPPY PRIDEEEE
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(Repost) Comms still up with 8 slots, 3 for busts, 3 for half body, and 2 for full body! Each listing also allows for up to one extra character to be added on at half price!
***If you don't want to commission me that's also fine i'd apreciate just a regular kofi dono or just sharing this around bc my finances are low, I've been averaging on $20 a month and struggling to pay hospital bills from earlier this year. i will also be considering opening a google doc or some other order form to allow payments via cashapp if there's any interest. Anyways heres a general breakdown of the pricing system and my will's/wont's under the cut:
So how do I (you, the buyer) choose what I want?
SO when you open up the request form it should look something like this!
We're using the bust order as our example here. At its base price, $15, it is set for the black and white option. If this is what you would like, then you don't have to worry about the add ons at all and you go straight to submitting your request! Now, if you're choosing add ons, it'll look something like these:
The first would be an example of an order of a flat color bust + an extra character bust with flat coloring as well. The color option adds the extra $10 (to match the listed price on the poster for $25), and the extra character with flat coloring adds half of that $25 to the order (well a little less bc i knocked off the .50 cents) which is why it comes out to $37.
The second would be an example of a black and white bust order with an added black and white bust character. This just adds an extra $7 to the price totaling $22.
What will you (the artist, me Brutus) draw?
If you want me to draw your oc or fanart of your favorite character I GOT U!!!
I'm also comfortable drawing blood and gore though I'll have to keep it on the lighter side (I enjoy blood if it isnt obvious by my url though so depending on what you want we might be able to go a little further with that).
I can do characters with armor as well, however I will require a reference of some sort from you, the client, as I'm frankly not going to attempt armor off the dome. I won't design armor myself either.
Pinups (not full nsfw due to how much of a struggle it is to navigate different site policies) and other suggestive works are also a-ok! a tity does not bother me if that wasn't made clear by my commission card 👍🏽
What will you (the artist, me Brutus) NOT draw?
Im not comfortable trying to draw real people as of right now sorry! I'm just not really a caricature or realistic portrait artist but this may change in the future.
I also won't do furry/anthro just because that isn't my forte as I haven't practiced drawing animalistic characters. There r plenty of talented furry artists for you to choose from and I could talk to someone to guide you to a few .
(I CAN do more humanoid fantasy characters however. like mermaids, satyrs, etc)
More extreme gore and body horror is also off the table. (so like spilling guts stuff like that)
I may love mecha but as it is like armor and a bit more extreme, I'm not drawing it sorry. And also as stated above I'm not drawing armor regardless without a good reference.
Certain fandoms are a no-go for me due to my own comfort. A quick list would be: mogeko games, omori, south park, hetalia, attack on titan, mcyt, hazbin hotel/helluva boss. if you're not sure just ask!
I reserve the right to decline any comission request for any reason. Getting paid is nice but my comfort is nicer yknow.
And that should cover everything! If you still need to ask me anything, my messages are open. Thank you so much for reading and a little extra thank you if you decide to commission me ❤️
#artists on tumblr#black artist#black artists on tumblr#commissions open#im hoping ghis isnt too long i tried to keep it as brief as i could#but i still wanted to make sure i explained myself well#but if you still have any questions dont hesitate to ask!
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saw a few posts talking about ganondorf and while i dont want to uh .. risk having to argue with strangers ... i cant shut up entirely (you know me)
(in my opinion that is probably missing alot or just not as well read as a lot of others since i really just say what i feel instead of knowing what im talking about-)
its kinda hard to really talk about him bc hes so .... steeped into tired old stereotypes and harmful tropes with intentionally so little else, if anything, that you almost always end up playing into them if you just take what canon tells you (and alot of people love defending it too :/ )
to what degree is it really his character and what is literally just some things that were decided he does to make it clear hes the one note evil guy, to justify whatever horror is done to him and overshadow/bury what anyone else has done, to not think about maybe he had a point bc look how much bad stuff he does! if you made him fight for the freedom/sovereignity of his own people against an oppressive hyrule he would be in the right- so ACTUALLY he opresses them violently and selfishly even WORSE and then wants to murder everyone tm that dont bow to him bc thats what evil people do! and hyrule is justified in taking them over in turn bc their rule wont opress them :)
its like a game of trying to one up whatever hyrule did with something more bad tm bc otherwise it gets hard to justify killing him over and over
im not saying hes not allowed to be prideful, selfish or violent of whatever, but you gotta know that all of that IS one of those ways that is supposed to make it clear how evil tm the desert guy is; it doesnt matter what hyrule has done bc look! ganondorf is so much worse! and im sure hyrule had their reasons :)
hes never actually allowed to interact with his own people, hes isolated/alienated from them and their culture constantly, hes their king yet he .... violently takes over "free" gerudo villages (what? what for?? what does "free" even mean? they werent following him? their king?? were they .. allied with hyrule, who are good tm, which means they were living in paradise aka "free"? (bc they are good ones tm bc they rejected their evil one in a hundred year man king ruling violently over only women .. *cough*)), yet hes never seen fighting alongside his own people (the most is them .. silently serving him in what, one scene??) and then he drops them the second he has evil MONSTERS to fight for him instead and orders them to kill every living thing or something bc thats obviously evil, he doesnt even care about his own people! how evil! why would he do that? idk, hes the sole, selfish violent evil man opressing his own people, who are all women! that what they do! and WE need to free them from HIM (and they should be thankful to us for it and try to attone for ever having birthed him in the first place) (or he is the reason tm why they suffered/were wiped out and he is literally the sole survivor of his people, bc he doesnt care about ANYONE but himself)
i dont mean he has to be a goody two shoes character (you can be an ass and still do good/be in the right btw) bc more often than not what that actually means is being allied with hyrule bc those are the designated good guys and being on their side makes you automatically good (eugh) but do you rly want to just ... play along with all the propaganda?
imo, aside from being obviously racist, thats also so boring? does selfish, violent evil man king with no people (bc hes not part of them or fighting for them, hes always presented as the worse oppressor) and nothing else to him that only wants to murder bc ... idk evil? sound interesting to you? (to the point that the ONLY time we were shown literally any sort of vunerabillity, end of ww, that theres people trying to argue he was trying to to manipulate you even there?? what for? why? are you trying to reject literally the one glimpse we are allowed into his perspective qoq)
why do alot of people reject the idea so much to consider he actually cared about them, how maybe that prideful and selfish look is just a facade, or even a fabrication? violence that had to be met with violence, not for any sort of selfish reasons, but for his people and was met with a fight he could not win yet kept fighting on, perhaps losing himself more and more in the process, or a lie told so often that it became reality, if someone has nothign left to lose, if all was taken from them, maybe even blamed on them, why not play into what you where made out to be, you cant convince them otherwise anyway its the reason hes never shown to have done a single nice thing, never seen non angry/smug smiling, how he has no one at his side unless he forced them, how he is not allowed to be human even a little bit, never shown being anything but a boring ass trope personified, hes less a character and more a big bundle of racist tropes that fights you at the end (sorry) while looking epic so trying to meaningfully analyze him just by what we are told and shown in canon will always fall kinda flat or end up playing righ into every shitty trope
that is my opinion :I
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#ganondorf#ganondoodles rants#yeah it got longer again#im not that well versed with words but maybe i got my point across#i will never not ask why and question everything#i didnt want to get into all the specific tropes bc .. its so many#this part:#or a lie told so often that it became reality -if someone has nothign left to lose -if all was taken from them#maybe even blamed on them - why not play into what you where made out to be- you cant convince them otherwise anyway#that part is what my demise boils down to btw#also this isnt meant as a response to anyones post#but i saw quite a few gan themed ones floating around today so i had to open my mouth again#possibly a mistake ... will be ready to delete if necessary
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You must get a lot of asks, how do you decide which ones to answer?
#[#literally its just if i can think of anything funny or Worldbuildingly Constructive to say about it#unfortunately ive been pretty preoccupied as of late so i havent been able to achieve this for as many#also. this is me looking you in the eyes. if i don't answer your ask#it's probably because there are a dozen more asks every time i open this website. my goal has never been to answer every ask#its to HAVE FUN :]#also. PLEASE ASK OOC QUESTIONS IN MY DMS!#THEY ARE OPEN FOR A REASON!#it's not just there for the PORNBOTS!#or at least ask OFF ANON so i can answer privately#i hate answering ooc asks. im doing this one because i get it a Lot and no one dms me ooc questions.#crying begging read the faq#]#blog management
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— the maker, far away and the muse, ardent
characters: endo yamato, you
notes: this is more in the style of my typical dazai content so iykyk. artist!reader, gender neutral pronouns used. small picture of dorian gray reference. a mini post explaining my vision for this fic basically
Drawing Endo Yamato is a tricky feat.
Despite his simple looks, you realize there are more details to him that meets the eye. Sharp edges and curves, eyes and lashes that cut through, wavy locks of hair that fall with an order to itself.
It is difficult but so is to create. That’s the thing with art, and that’s what you love about it until the very end.
No matter how hard, how detailed something is, no matter how long it’ll take you to reach that level of skill required to make it, it is never impossible.
And so you sit back and keep observing him, smoothing out the page before you, you sharpen your pencil.
Despite the numerous pages adorned with his face, you’ve never spoken with Endo Yamato, not even once. Nor did you feel the need to.
Does god often seek an audience with their followers, does a nature artist eat the apple even after days of mold has accumulated— does everyone kill the thing they love? Or do they just leave it be, to their happiness or misery.
To you he is nothing more than a pretty face, beautiful features and an impressive body, one he uses as his own canvas, recording his life and feelings onto his skin permanently.
Endo Yamato never sits still, as if offering a challenge to you. Another thing that helps you in the long run, your pen begins to hasten, your sketch line improves and you begin to remember and transfer every small detail of a millisecond to paper without breaking a sweat.
It begins piece by piece, part by part. When one thing proves difficult to grasp, you have no choice but to dissect it one by one.
You begin with his structure, how he carries himself and his body. You have confidence in your figure drawing but it takes something extra to show off his pride and nose high up attitude in his posture. You don’t know Endo Yamato all that much but you know enough that you don’t like him or his kind at all.
Then comes the face, the edge of his jaw and the softness to his cheeks despite coming off as thin. It’s the details that prove the real challenge. When drawn apart, be it his eyes or the hooked nose, you’re good. Yet the way they have been placed on his face, you have to remake the dough figurine over and over again. His hair proves a great distraction, you’d suppose it is the real source of your problems. It hides everything characteristic to him, every small detail, the arch of his brows, the wrinkles on his face when he smiles or furrows them, the angle of his nose and how the bridge comes down, the light in his eyes though they are absent majority of the time.
You sketch over and over, the pencil glides off the pages. You change the materials but the subject remains the same. Noticeable changes begin to appear after some time. You’ve lost for how long you’ve been drawing, but it comes natural now.
So you switch up the medium, and try the process from the start with watercolors. The uncontrollable nature of the medium met with the difficult subject growing familiar on your muscles perfectly.
Too perfectly in fact, as you are lost in the thrill of it, that you don’t even notice how time passes nor the shift in scenery unless it contradicts your paintings— and you’re slouching over the papers once more, face contracting in focus as shadows disturb your view and lighting.
When you steal a glance above, you’re met with not a cloud but none other than Endo Yamato himself.
Hands shoved deep in his pockets and his confident yet relaxed posture, he glances down at you and the papers, wearing a smug smile the whole time.
You wait for a moment of breath then divert your attention back to the work before you, adding shadows currently.
You hear him let out a slight grunt, and maybe you’d see his expression shift into something of surprise too, were you to be carefully watching.
“It’s sublime knowing I have a fan.” He says, still not stepping one step to the side, adamant on blocking the light apparently.
His words register far too late for you, you let out a hum at first, “hmm… oh?” The sound fades into surprise on your end, “ah, no, you see-“
You dip the brush into water and to the shades of blue and purple, mixing and lightening the amount of paint on the brush.
A tapping of feet brings you down to earth and reminds you for once you are not alone in your leisure time of painting.
“Ah… sorry.” You say more as an apology for forgetting he was right there up until a second, “it’s nothing like that.”
Your words take him out like a chain of inconveniences following one after another, building up until you’ve lost your temper.
You don’t notice this either, focus solely on perfecting the shading, calling it another painting done and complete.
To Endo, your nonchalance is odd to say the least. Here he stands, the subject of your attention for many a while now, from what he has seen, and you don’t seem to care one bit. Or is it the paper that is holier than him? Or is this another, albeit looser case of Takiishi, not caring for the people but for their reflections, their end products, what comes out of them and the hand that crafts them into something bigger, brighter.
Along the lines Endo Yamato says to you, you do catch something like ‘having the real thing before you already.’ An enlightenment perhaps, a revelation you didn’t need nor asked for.
So he is a charmer, you think, or tries to be. Considering the things at hand it’s the former most likely— walking up to you without a care in the world as if you’ve interacted before. It takes some sort of confidence, as most charmers carry with them. He is just not trying it to the fullest with you, but is it because he thinks he already holds a part of you in his hand, you’re unsure.
In the short timeframe of thinking over a man you couldn’t care any less, you notice your brush staggering, slowing down. Any more and the drops of water will be too much for the paper, ruining all your hard work on this completely.
“So… listen,” you begin, cutting off whatever he was saying. “If you don’t have anything important to say, would you mind-“
You wait and wait for him to catch on. Instead met with empty eyes looking at you with not a single clue inside that brain of his, you let out a sigh.
“The light at this hour is very good and you’re making me lose it minute by minute right now.”
Endo looks at you, in disbelief again. Not the reaction he was expecting and definitely not the words he expected to hear. And compared to how quiet and just shy you sounded up until the last sentence— that last demand, all that timid nature of you dispelled within a second.
Deflated, he admits his defeat for the time being and leaves, stealing one last glance at the paper.
As the man leaves, you watch his back for a bit, waiting for your brush to dry.
Odd, you think.
What did he really expect you to do or say?
You may not know Endo Yamato but all you’ve observed is more than enough to deem him as weird. You are somewhat aware he is filled with burning passion down to his very being but that’s just not who you are as an artist.
The views people have on you, and by extension, on artists has always been far fetched from what you’ve seen.
Must art always be loud and intense, waging war upon any heart that gazes at it? Should you too be destructive and heavy— not all artists see their subject like Basil to Dorian, not all art is an all consuming fire, an endless devotion, a declaration of war. Art can be natural and gentle, like a breeze, like a stream of river. Love can be accepting and gentle, unifying and kind with the familiarity it brings, the comfort hidden in the routine, as he fails to see.
By the time the painting has come to an end, darkness has fallen. Endo Yamato has already left, and the sunlight soon after him. The sky begins to darken, purple spreads of paint among the clouds. You turn the page and leave today in the past, crossing another thing off the list and moving on.
#i have few unclear metapores in this so if anyone has any questions or smt theyd like to discuss im more than open to talk/answer!#gn reader#endo yamato#wind breaker#long live the queue#endo yamato x reader#endo yamato x you#wind breaker x reader#wind breaker x you#wind braker drabble#endo yamato drabble#endo x reader#endo x you
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