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I want to talk to you...without speaking. QUEER (2024) | dir. Luca Guadagnino
#queeredit#queer 2024#filmedit#luca guadagnino#daniel craig#drew starkey#dcraigedit#dstarkeyedit#userrobin#userbeckett#mine and only mine#my first time making gifs in 7 months#and im back with another guadagnino CLASSIC#but like god lee is just so lonely so desperate for connection#that he searches for it in every nook and cranny any man that looks his way any drug he can find#and then comes eugene a more or less willing companion#and lee's want for connection becomes even more desperate bc god there's someone who seems to finally care#someone who finally wants him back#but there's still this DISCONNECT#but finally finally they share this moment#they communicate without speaking with just their bodies#in this moment they understand each other WHOLLY on a base undeniably human level#but it's too much for eugene who runs away and doesn't realize how rare that connection was until it's too late#and lee is left alone on his LITERAL deathbed with nothing more than memories of the rare moments of love#and intimacy that he's never shared with anyone else except eugene#yeah this movie left me a wreck#anyway this sequence was gorgeous and i won't shut up abt it
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imagine you are playing a story-based game w the opportunity to learn more abt charas thru a relationship system (eg visual novels), and your ability to explore every relationship is linked to your success in a different part of the game.
#lili talking#lili dev#did you know! shop systems FUCKING suck#make stuff too cheap = good players do everything like halfway thru#make stuff too expensive = only players who optimize from the start can get everything#personally i dont think option 1 in the poll is good game design but. maybe people actually like it!!!#and option 3 i think feels bad if your failures early on lock u out from later stuff#but i dont go here (visual novels) so idfk whats expected#thanks for being my willing lab rats along this journey 🫡#still cant talk abt this yet but. i promise im cooking#let me cook!! in silence!!!!!!#<- person whos every waking moment is consumed by stuff she wants to share but cant
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Went and made a secondary bluesky account to post all my so-called (by others) "cringe" art (mpreg, monsterfucker stuff, etc. both SFW and NSFW stuff) because I'm tired of drowning in shame instead of having harmless fun being a little freak 😊
Very very slowly bringing joy and whimsy back into my life by unlearning shame and caring less about what people think about my hyperfixations, my kinks, my appearance, what I'm doing with my life, etc.
Life is hard right now, why deprive myself of things that make me happy just to please others?
It's small in the grand scheme of things, but it's a big step for me! 😊 I've also been chatting to people more which is huge because I'm normally paralyzed by social anxiety.
I want to become a person without unnecessary shame or worry about anything this year! 🙏💖
#if anyone is interested in said account Im willing to share with mutuals and longtime followers only via PM!#havent posted anything yet because Im still super busy with the game jam though 😞#jun rambles
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Oh, your love is sunlight
Happy (late) Valentine's Day (version without text ↓ +description in tags)
#east blue asylum wing au#zosan#zoro x sanji#zs#first off if its bad quality - it's a huge canvas and it's more pixelated if i try to export the picture than if I screenshot so... :/#I sometimes like assigning songs to different dynamics and or characters I play around with and I've been recently listening to#a lot of Hozier again and I'd like to think that Sunlight is how Zoro sees Sanji - he is Icarus flying to the sun and he is willing to get#burned if only to reach the sunlight - it's a deathtrap... because of course it is... all attachments are but Sanji's love is the death tra#that he welcomes like a moth to a flame because even Icarus felt the bliss and freedom before his wax melted#I haven't depicted it here but Sanji's Hozier song for Zoro would probably be NFWMB because in his eyes Zoro is this untouchable force#that would watch the world go up in flames and when the time Sanji wouldn't mind being a tree just to fuel his fire (im well aware how#cheesy that sounds just bare with me... or better yet listen to the song its really good trust me ok?)#the world starts and ends with him and where they lay#and their shared Hozier song is Francesca because if anything in this au zosan are two lovers stuck in Dante's inferno and sprinting back i#only for the chance to get back to their lover and if that meant going back into hell to look for each other then so be it#there's a part of the song that goes “My life was a storm / Since I was born / How could I fear any hurricane?” which is pretty fitting imo#op#fan art#my art
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Mods can we ban this guy?
Another attempt at learning digital drawing, you can count this as a practice
My Malevolent brain rot has reached the point where I've been rewatching old Yogscast Call of Cuthulu campaigns and I think it would be fucking hilarious if Arthur and John met Professor Grizwald (he's just an arsehole and I really want Arthur to kill him <3)
#malevolent#arthur lester#call of cuthulu#john doe malevolent#malevolent pod#malevolent fanart#no_ojos_art#games night yogscast#YogsQuest#Professor Grizwald#I have many such sillies like this in my drafts but this is the only one atm that im willing to share#posting art on here still terrifies me lol <3#malevolent shitpost
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Hate that whenever I'm going through something all of my friends are also going through something so all we can do is just sigh loudly at each other's misery. It strengthens the bond, sure, but doesn't change much
#diary post#vent post#couldn't we once get a break all of us at the same time. sit together share a meal laugh about something silly#damn#rest is productive but loneliness is unbearable. talking to people requires effort and no-one is willing to be the only one to put effort#so when im tired i have to stay alone which is fair but hurts#how did i become a granny before hitting 30 i wonder
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Anyone wants free colored contact lenses? 😅
#i dont like the effect so im willing to give them away for free#only the shipping cost has to be covered#they have power though :///#personal#idk where to share this i dont think i can sell contact lenses on vinted lol
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the seperation of lesbians and gay men is a travesty. "why are there so many historic gay bars and only like a handful of lesbian bars in the whole country" why are being gay and lesbian not the same thing in this context. you dont need to fuck everyone at the bar and it is a problem that needs to be addressed if these spaces arent mutually hospitable. and this applies to most gay/lesbian spaces imo
#its just wrong to assume gay spaces arent for women and if any gay men are reinforcing that it needs to be stopped lol#but a lot of it seems like very gender-biased willing exclusion bc they dont wanna associate with men#which um. grow up to you too#gender segregation is just evil period#other than intimate circumstances if you refuse to hang around people you perceive as x gender#its a problem you need to work on it's not just a right you've earned#now yes of course there are able to be specific cases of bars that are more explicitly lesbian or gay#but assuming if a bar is a ''gay bar'' its just for gay men is a fallacy... do you even go to these places?#''buh buh buh if theres a drag show drag is insulting to women cis and trans'' its not. address your revulsion#i know i come across harsh toned im actually more being flabbergasted that weve got to this point rather than saying hey you in particular#its just so strange to have grew up in the gay climate i did where the only lesbian flag was just lipstick lesbian and the girls didnt like#if you assumed every lesbian fell under it and to just use rainbow#and now people act like gay and lesbian arent synonyms because of gender seperatism. which disproportionally hurts members of the lgbt#community because they are more likely to be gnc lol#also a lot of individual opinions you just see the terf hand guiding.#and i HATE THE TOOTHPASTE FLAG!!#no pink flag for girls so blue flag for boys get the fuck out of my face#i dont want to superficially share my experiences with gay men i need community with gay PEOPLE
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having shamura in my cult makes me wanna throw up bro they love narinder so much im in shambles just thinking about them being lost in their own mind and yet still grieving their brother so much someone needs to sedate me Immediately
#and even in their second battle#they were willing to fight forever in purgatory!!! they saw it as a fit punishment for what theyve done !!! IM SICK !!!!#im certain all of the siblings (nari included) share this deep rooted; self decaying sadness that only siblings that fell out can feel#but its so much more evident with shamura#and narinder too like after u bring him materials from each domain hes all puffed up and grumpy like my guy 😭#u can admit that u miss them and still hurt bc of their actions#this game.... has stabbed its little claws into my brain gild help me#cult of the lamb#pebbles (me) ramblers#also im reading a BANGER fic its called 'the rehabilitation of death' and it makes me wanna crawl up the walls <33#screaming into the void
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this ones pretty old, it from like 2022 september, but to be honest i still quite like it
#dishonored#billie lurk#dishonered2#digital art#illustration#artwork#drawing#the only dishonored fanart im willing to share#my art
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i wish i had never been born but other than that i'm taking things well i think ❤️
#suicidal ideation tw#this is mainly a joke im not fr depressed or suicidal abt breaking up w a guy after 3 weeks#just feels like there's no hope for love in my life now more than ever before and life is so hard in general#and i would never ever harm myself bc i wouldnt put my family through that and life is a precious gift etc#but dang i wish i wasn't here rn sometimes#anyway goodnight#im fr okay it was a tbought that crossed my mind but im not serious lol 😂#this is ok to rb im not actually in crisis lol#this has been a shitpost#i am generally taking it well actually#possibly bc im delulu hoping wr get back together but i can also recognize the issues in the relationship and almost broke it off myself#the night before#tbh i might not get back together with him if the opportunity presents itself bc i'm not convinced it's just a timing issue#as far as the issues go the timing is the only one i cant live with but it would pass#the other stuff i could live with but if he cant then those things aren't going away so its for the best but i think he's wrong#two people dont need to share all the same interests and passions in order to work as long as they're willing to grow together and i was#so idk its his loss really#but also living is so hard and dating is literally hell get me out of hereeeee#i felt this way BEFORE him and then i had a little glimmer of hope like oh wait love is real i could def fall for this guy#and now it's bleaker than ever before#but at least i know i'm capable of love ig 😒
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back to the issue of not feeling able to talk freely with anyone in my family :'))))) woohoo.
#they were like. the only people i DID feel comfortable talking fully freely with.#so getting ready to send smth to my sister and then realizing i can't/don't want to deal with her reaction to it#sucks!!!#gods#like i can talk about some things with some of them and other things with others but like#fuck dude#even something as simple as 'yeah our sister is still using my car' is smth i can't send#bc i KNOW that the sister i was talking to would have an annoying reaction to it#'cant believe youd let her use your car /i/ wouldve told her to get an uber or a rental' etc etc#(which is what she actually said when i first told her i was letting our sis use my car for work which is why i KNOW she'd say it)#like yeah bro sorry i acknowledge that our sister is already struggling! and that having to share a car with her for 3 weeks#while definitely inconvenient for me and not smth i ENJOY DOING#is something i am still /willing/ to do so that she doesnt. you know. run out of money or smth.#plus 'get an uber' babygirl she literally needs a car to do her job she can't just 'GET AN UBER' you asshole!!!!!!#anyway.#sigh.#sorry that just hit me hard and im very frustrated over many things so#the realization was icing on the cake#shh ac#seriously shut up
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i open nearly all my posts with “hmmm” or “thinking”
BECAUSE I AM QUITE LITERALLY PUTTING EVERYTHING I THINK ABOUT ON HERE (specifically cherik)
turns out everyone on here is a mind reader and they’re just reading my mind 😱
although i don’t entirely care, i don’t have much to hide its just the fact this is the internet so no insanely personal details here
#whenever i am thinking its pretty much me just talking out loud but its all in my head#sometimes my mouth moves along with what im thinking#i emote alot too when im alone#i think i’ve just always needed a space to share these kinds of opinions#irl people just get my opinions on life and the meaning of it all and whatnot#they don’t get access to what my brain thinks about 24/7#i would go into more of why i do that but honestly i don’t think anyone is here for that#i don’t mind just saying#Wish does not shut up#cherik#it’s quite easy talking about my life and problems to anyone who’s willing to listen#like i do not care where that info goes#this here is wuite literally the only secret i hold from people i know#actually only secret full stop#i might have more buried deep somewhere but i could not remember for the life of me
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also unrelated but i really AM a gossipy bitch. but yk what. i think its okay. bc i jjst like to gather as much information as possible about the people around me. and it makes ppl like me bc im a "good listener". ok yes i am but it is because one of my (evil) special interests is knowing as much as i can about the people around me. the information is really only for my files though. i dont usually share it unless someone seriously wrongs me. then i use my files. i hsve a photographic memory AND dissociative identity disorder so everyone gets access to different files. and i have to ask for some of them. if they arent my files. but by god yhey are there! just have to ask my little brain office coworkers. and also i dont do cancel posts with my information i dont believe in the internet, just in person. because in person gives me more gossip time :)
#like ummmm gossiping isnt bad im just the eye coded. from magnus archive#the other rule i have is that if im gonna share my files#it can only be stuff i would be willing to say to that persons face#bc you HAAVE to assume as a gossipy bitch your words will eventually get to the person#and i have no problem with telling someone that i dont like them with full explanationif theyve done things that i find annoying or immoral#i was called a c'nt several times in middle school because of thst having no problem with being a bitch#also im a gay man so it is my right and my duty
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The Fernweh Saga by @lacunafiction - Agnes edition
Who would have thought? 🤭
Agnes "Nes" Sigrún 🌑RO: James Corvin
Personality: sincerity // cautious // friendly // merciful Traits: heart // compliance // believer Past affinity: writing [horror stories] Primary ability: empathetic impressions Past susceptibility: receptive
☀️Fernweh: She never really thought about leaving Fernweh… It was her place, near her family and friend(s). She felt good there and assumed she’s gonna spend her whole life happily in this little town. Even if Fernweh brings back devastating memories, she’s curious about what’s happening in Fernweh now, in her true home. It’s always been her dream to work in Turn The Page, and during her ‘short’ stay in Fernweh, she started thinking about it again. Why not stay for longer…? She would love to carry on her grandfather’s work and bring his legacy justice.
☀️Grandpa Jóhann: When she was young, she had an amazing relationship with her grandpa. They were completely honest with each other, and she loved him wholeheartedly. Some people thought that making her grandpa proud was her main hobby. She used to tell him all about her dreams that she had, which were always wild... and also about the nightmares… It took her by surprise when her grandpa, one of the most important people in her life, started being less involved. She was hurt and began to wonder if she had done something to cause the distance between them. His decision to move her out of Fernweh so quickly after this tragic event made a huge impact on her mental state. She needed time to cope and be with her closest ones, especially her grandpa...but after all she didn't blame him. She often heard that she looked exactly like her mother…like her grandpa's daughter... She assumed he could not look at her, without thinking about her... And she could not blame him for wanting to escape that pain. Agnes knew it was the best thing that her grandpa could do for him, and she accepted it, too eagerly. She always too eagerly took the blame for everything.
☀️Beckett Warrick: After what happened in Fernweh after James she had even more trouble interacting with other people and making new friends… However, Beckett was an exception. He was the first person who got to truly know her after the events in Fernweh. When she got the letter about her Grandpa, she considered hiding the truth from him, because she knew deep down that he would be there for her if she needed him… even if he would not particularly enjoy it. It's a good thing she’s such a bad liar… Her main concern is about Beckett’s well-being. She noticed that this 'little' trip made a huge impact on him. He wasn’t supposed to be here, and it’s because of her that he–... She needs to make sure that nothing happens to her friend. And she will somehow manage to bring him back to his home.
☀️Reese Verner: They had an unconventional relationship. Reese saw her as a rival, while Agnes thought of him as a friend. She was confused about why Verner, someone of great importance, would even look at her see her as a rival. She knew there were better candidates for his games. She had only one question on her mind - “why?”. Despite Verner's playful teasing, Agnes always remained polite and friendly towards him, even when he attempted to push her boundaries. Girl knew how to keep her true feelings behind a warm smile she still does. If I can be completely honest… Agnes was rather shocked that Reese still remembered her… and was actually looking for her, which sounded so unbelievably. His concern for Milton's well-being made her see him in a slightly different light. Of course, she already knew Reese had a good heart, but his behaviour really touched her. Additionally, Agnes noticed that Reese and James’ relationship became stronger and deeper… It’s for the best. James deserves someone as dependable as Reese. He will always be there for James.
☀️Sofia Dorran: Their bond was formed over a shared admiration for books and... the color blue. It may sound funny now, but these things became central to their lives and deepened their friendship. Sofia was the first person Agnes entrusted with her writing, and valued her honest feedback, knowing that Sofia would not make her feel bad if something needed improvement. They frequently borrowed books from each other's collections. Agnes yearned for the days when she and Sofia had reading sessions together, sipping on their favorite beverage. The only issue back then was when the book ended poorly or their library didn't have any new positions for them to read. She's willing to know how Sofia's taste toward books shifted (if shifted) and how she changed as a person. She's also extremely grateful because her grandfather received constant care from Sofia and her mother.
🌑James Corvin: …Do I really need to tell you that James was her first crush? And that she never found the courage to tell him so? maybe now will be the time? Agnes and James were always together, wherever one went the other followed. They were inseparable. Agnes even used to bake oatmeal cookies for James with her mother's help. They dreamed of their idyllic life together. As friends, obviously. Seeing him again after all those years was much harder than she anticipated. Agnes felt overwhelmed with stress from the moment she stepped out of her car. Every time she heard his surname, she unknowingly flinched. Her mind was full of questions about his well-being, life, and changes. She couldn't help but wonder if he would be happy to see her. …she did manage to hold his hand for a moment, I can consider it as a success
☀️Alex Corvin: Agnes has always looked up to Alex for their adventurous spirit and their willingness to embrace life to the fullest. She has always wanted to adopt a bit of Alex' wild side. Whenever they are around, boredom and dullness seem to disappear. They both share similar values and support each other's life goals. If I would say which person Agnes was the most willing to meet during her stay in Fernweh that would be Alex. She was confident in their friendliness towards everybody and was sure that their kindness had not wavered. Agnes was touched when she heard that Alex was looking after her grandfather's bookstore… It appears that Beckett has a new admirer, which Agnes wholeheartedly approves of.
☀️Mal: Agnes has a sense that Mal might be suspicious, but she is quite naive and doesn't believe that he could mean trouble. Although she is wary of him and finds him a little untrustworthy, Agnes believes in being kind to everyone, and she is willing to give Mal a chance, not judging him by her own impressions of him.
☀️Goldie: Agnes is grateful that her grandfather had a furry companion like Goldie, who probably managed to brighten his spirits. She fondly recalls how her grandfather would tell her stories when he once had a dog, when he was younger and how his eyes would light up with joy as he shared his story. Agnes is committed to taking excellent care of Goldie and ensuring her safety.
#don't get me started how she is BLAMING herself for the situation Beckett is rn. she needs to go back for her theraphy sesions right away#that's why she went with him into the woods looking for Milton and not James even so she wanted to spent every single second with him :sob:#she's conflicted. being with James is something that she dreamed of but in her opinion he deserves someone better //obviously//#...that's why she's cheering for James and Reese lol. Look she just wants James and Reese to be happy and she can see how those two care of#-each other. She's happy : )#she's an idiot 🙂#is there a potential happy ending for the three of them..? maybeeee. we'll see what the story will bring 👀#im totally confident that Sofia and Agnes had their own shared little library#Agnes wrote a poem for James when she was young but it wasn't really her forte. that's why she showed it to Sofia because she knew she will#-help her. //Agnes didn't want to tell for who it was but Sofia figured it out anyway. they both knew that the other knew but weren't-#-talking about it out loud. XD it was hilarious -- for me and I assume Sofia but Agnes was terrified. XDD//#....cough James never saw this poem anyway cough...#I have this headcanon that Agnes made up amazing horror stories that James was willing to hear (for a bunch of oatmeal cookies) when-#-they had a sleepover //those stories were from her nightmares but she never said that to James knowing he would only worry about her//#btw her parents called her 'little star' and James must have heard it and (maybe?) asked Sofia to make a necklace... Sun and Moon.#did you know that Agnes had her piece of the Sun as her necklace for the WHOLE TIME. but she hid it away under shirt... x"D she was looking#-if James had his Moon somewhere... but she did not see it. anyway she wears it always.#omg i finally made it. there's also one in my drafts nearly finished and three more to go. XD#sooo curious about book two <3#fernweh saga#my art?#Spotify#oc: agnes sigrun
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hey can like. non indian people stop liking or interacting with my posts about hinduism please.
#i feel uncomfortable with it#because my life is a strange mix of post colonial pride and current shame#which im willing to share with only indian friends and one other person#rei rambles
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