#im nursing this headache/fever thing

[scretladyspider]

please don’t scroll; I really need your help to reach my gofundme goal of $3500 and not become homeless.

Im Elle, a queer, ace, disabled person with ADHD, depression, and two cats. In November, I lost my job without warning. I have no savings as the job already had me living to the last dollar of every paycheck. I was denied unemployment and food stamps. I cannot work away from home, a physical job, or something with strict hours due to some yet-to-be-diagnosed illness.

this is my story — what’s going on & how I got here. (Smaller text used because it’s a lot of information/a long post.)

In early 2018, I was doing regular walk/runs. In 2019, I stopped being able to run, so I went on walks. Running took hours, then days, to recover from. My body couldn’t produce energy to do it consistently, so, walks. In 2020, I kept going on walks and tried to do aerobics. I was not able to keep doing aerobics. My body took hours upon hours to recover, where before it hadn’t, I was alone for almost all of 2020, and never developed COVID symptoms; it was what happened with running all over again. In 2021, it started to take more time to recover from walks. Then I started to need to take a nap immediately after I clocked out from work— and it was a work from home job. In 2022, I began to go from my sitting desk job straight to my bed most days, laying down exhausted right after work, even sleeping through lunch to get some rest.

On New Year's Eve 2023, I spent 30 minutes cleaning, including vacuuming my living room. I had to rest the rest of the day.

In the last five years, I've gone from running to being exhausted for hours by taking my garbage to the curb.

Imagine you were someone who enjoyed recreational exercise. Now imagine doing 1/100th of that and feeling sick for days. Thats me.

There are other symptoms also. More vulnerability to infection and more trouble fighting infection. Shooting, sharp muscle pains in large muscles such as the thigh or forearm, like a pinched nerve, that come and go at random. Pulse rate that skyrockets upon standing, to go back to normal soon after. Stomach inflammation. Inflammation without major swelling. Headaches. Complete inability to tolerate heat, leading to excruciating migraines that only go away with things like cold showers, electrolytes, and hours of rest in the dark with ice. Muscles that literally don't feel like they're getting oxygen. Random rashes. Face flushing. Being much more easily out of breath, yawning over and over, like I can't get air correctly. Weight gain, no matter what I eat or don't eat.

And just being so, so tired.

In summer of 2018, something… stopped working in my body. I felt sick all the time. I had a low, unexplainable fever nearly every day. Shooting nerve pain would wake me up at night. The doctor said I had a cold. But months went by and I didn’t get better. When my blood work and thyroid hormone level was normal, I was referred to a rheumatologist.

I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia after he made me wait 45 minutes, came in and asked “are you tired?", poked me hard, said I was tender, and left without running tests. This sort of “uhm the standard blood work came back normal, have you tried exercising more? I know you’re here because your body can’t recover from it but have you tried more of that? Also going to sleep at night?” has been the response over and over and over for five years. It got to the point where I even started to wonder if I was somehow making it up. I see a psych nurse. She thinks there's more than just depression, ADHD, and other things - though we both agree that managing those is vital too. She used to be a cardiologist, so this is reassuring. But when I have tried to see other doctors, it goes differently. Most of the time they see I have ADHD, a long history of depression, and hypermobile joints, and say that explains everything. I can't count how many times I've been told "well, you have depression” when the labs, if they even agreed to run them, came back normal. My standard blood work sometimes comes back with anemia, but I take an iron supplement. No improvement had come of it. I’ve had my thyroid hormone levels tested over and over, but never the antibodies. No imaging or referrals have happened, outside of one to a second rheumatologist. He ran no tests either; he just saw my joints are hypermobile and I was “sure taking a lot of mental health medications” (two at the time), and�� that was that.

I had given up on actually even getting help until my SIL recommended a doctor she knew. For the first time in five years, when the standard blood work and TSH tests were normal, she told me we would keep looking. I actually cried with relief at that. It’s amazing to be believed after all this time.

Because of …. All of this, I'm trying to figure out how to either work for myself or find a work from home job that has flexible hours I can choose. I literally wouldn't be able to work a retail gig where I have to stand for eight hours, or even a 9-5 where I have to be there for those exact hours, because my body cannot do that right now. I want to get better but it's a long way off. First I need to know what's even wrong. I'm praying for a diagnosis soon. And treatment. At the least, management.

I have heard of EDS and I have been evaluated. I apparently don’t meet enough criteria, hence the diagnosis of JHS instead. It’s in the same family. I have also heard of POTS. I am pursuing testing. Same with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, MCAS, fibromyalgia… yeah. The thing is nothing outside of the standard blood count and thyroid hormone level test, no other lab tests have been done. There are so many things this could be that have never been checked. Lyme disease, for example, is extremely common where I live (it’s actually just extremely common worldwide) and matches much of my experience, but 1) in the USA the initial Lyme test relies on a strain of bacteria cultured in the 80s 2) there are over 100 strains of Lyme disease in the USA 3) in spite of decades of research there are doctors who don’t believe chronic Lyme exists 4) no doctor has ever checked and I only recently learned anything about it so I never asked. But… there are a lot of things to check that I’ve never had checked is my point. Fingers crossed someone can help me get there.

I do not have a partner who can try to support me through this, and my family already supports me however they can. My severance (which was low as I found out I was being paid much less than the rest of the team later) paid only my January rent.

Since my ability to work is severely limited right now, and I've been denied unemployment and food stamps, and I would need a diagnosis and to be awarded disability benefits in court (which can take YEARS that I don’t have), I have nothing in savings because of years of underpaying jobs the cost of living and being disabled and going through prior periods of unemployment due to this and other factors, I am left in a tough spot without help. Without this help, this gofundme... I have nothing.

So... here I am. A queer nonbinary disabled neurodivergent writer, trying my best, living with some undiagnosed illness that's severely impacted my ability to function, who got fired without real reasons (in America they can just do that to you without even telling you why), asking for your help to pay my February rent and January bills so I don’t repeat the trauma of being homeless. Or for you to reblog this.

Thank you for reading all of this.

It’s been on my chest for a long time. Even if it wasn’t for the gofundme, it feels good to talk about and be honest about my health. It reminds me you’re not supposed to feel like this all the time when I tell other people and they tell me I should get help and deserve answers. It’s reassuring to see competent doctors who finally believe me. I hope we figure it out.

no donation is too small— they add up. If just 100 people gave $35, the goal would be met. Sharing is also giving— it means someone who can help is more likely to see it.

You can also help via my venmo — secretladyspider

CashApp — secretladyspider

or find PayPal in my tip jar in my linktree

Goal is $3500 or over. Funds needed ASAP. If it goes over, that’ll help with February.

Thank you for anything and everything.

[firefox-archive]

alright bad news everyone

im officially sick. no idea what with, probably a fever, but this puts me out of working on this blog for awhile.

i greatly apologize for this, as i havent been working on the actual archive feature of this blog lately

(For those who cant read the cut: im taking a break from this blog for mental health reasons. i will leave submissions open and post them, but i myself will not be interacting with this blog in anyway)

extra details on my sickness and why ive been neglecting the archive below the cut

slightly sensitive content, do be careful :)

mostly its been affecting me physically. ive been coughing and feeling extremely light headed all day, with a headache on top of it all. this illness has combined with the affects of my anemia, which has put me in a lot of pain. dont worry, i will be talking to my mom about it (shes a registered nurse!!)

regarding my neglect of the archive, im going to be straightforward.

im an attention seeker, and its not normal attention seeking. over my life, i have struggled with a lot of things that have led up to me developing some sort of disorder or issue in my brain. i have actually been using this blog more than my actual main because i like the attention i get here. i do it because my thought process tells me this is the approval i have been seeking. i am aware it is not, but it can get tiring fighting against it. its incredibly unhealthy. many days it leaves me staring at my activity for hours, hoping that someone will want to talk to me, maybe reblog a post with something new to add. its become an issue, and falling ill has helped me realize this. i will still blog submissions, but i will not be personally posting or interacting with this blog for sometime.

my mental state truly is no excuse for how i have treated this blog, and i need to realize it

a big thank you and (platonic) hugs and kisses to everyone who has interacted with this blog thus far. i see and appreciate you all <3

[extravalgant]

Any headcanons for how an earth born wizard would adjust living to the spiral from a biological/laws of physicals stand point?

OOH IVE BEEN MEANING TO TALK ABOUT THIS.... i havent really gone in depth and written these down so im writing them on the fly omg

— i think the atmosphere with the different worlds differs compares to earth, so i feel like the wizard would get constant headaches, or constant nosebleeds

— speaking of that.... i feel as if spiral medicine is much stronger than the standard stuff the wizard might be used to . the wizard might feel its side effects more strongly :0 or possibly become allergic to it in the future...?!

— every time they travel to a new world their ears pop. each world kind of has a different temperature and atmosphere and it looks like our wizard seems fine for the most part. perhaps on some worlds the air is a bit thinner? thicker? or theres something in the air that always makes us feel stuffy..... wizard allergies .

— im not sure if the spiral bypasses the laws in which that energy cannot be created or destroyed - were not really working with energy more than it just being... magic .

- THIS DOES MAKE ME THINK.... DOES MAGIC HAVE ITS OWN LAWS? are their magic scholars?? magical studies that go into their own studies and classes??

- i COULD try and make some magical laws but.... that requires too much brain power and im still recovering x_x BUT PERHAPS ANOTHER TIME....

— i feel like there are spiral versions of the cold and the flu, and they are nothing like the ones back on earth, since i feel like wizards born in spiral worlds like wizard city have an easier time regulating them because their biology was built for an influx of magic

- the wizard is... different since their body wasnt built for that from the get go. thats why i think spiral flus or colds, or just over exerting themselves on their magic can have disastrous consequences to both their physical and mental health

[egoiistas]

Ran out of tags fjsbdhd

Long tags; didn't read: five hours in the ER with bloodwork, ct scan, lumbar puncture and less cerebrospinal fluid than I went in with - final diagnosis: headache

Hope y'all are well <3

[mikanotes]

— fever, fervor

tae-moo x gn!reader | 2.5k words

genre: childhood friends/exes to -> mutual pining

warnings: swearing, fainting, blood, reader is part of a big and well known company (reader is rich lol), kissing, implied suggestive themes (at the end!!!), injuries, sickness, jealousy

synopsis: kang taemoo was not someone you wanted to meet again. not after breaking up with him in high school. so you're surprised to bump into him again years later, and to get nursed back to health by the man.

author’s note: i like him! *looks behind him* but i do like his gf’s brother and his secretary even more /hj anyways i’m only two eps in for a business proposal so!!! ooc taemoo probably im trying my best thank u

You blew out air with puffed cheeks repeatedly as you jogged (limped) your way down the hotel. You had to meet someone at the restaurant there and you had to get there fast— Being almost a minute late (a minute early) to the appointed time.

You were supposed to meet the soon-to-be CEO of a company your company had a lot of ties with. And as the heir of your family’s company, you had duties. Such as meeting with people like these to make sure things would remain calm and safe and rich even when the previous boss would step down. You couldn’t risk losing profits due to a simple change in CEOs. Or so your parents said.

You really didn’t care. But punctuality was crucial and you were lacking it right now, really badly. You could blame the traffic on your way to the hotel, or your terribly painful, pounding headache from drinking too much with your best friend the day before or the injury you had got on your ankle while running down the stairs of your workplace a few days ago but it would just be embarrassing. No excuses, just be on time— That’s what you grew up with.

So you ran up the stairs to the restaurant, ankle slightly tilting every now and then in your fancy, so-clear-and-washed-that-they-could-serve-as-a-mirror dress shoes. You were careful, really. You didn’t want to risk worsening your injury or getting a new one, so of course you were careful!

So it was not your fault that some man and yourself bumped into eachother at the end of the stairs, almost making you fall backwards had it not been for his quick reflex to grab your wrist. Yet after pulling you back with a bit too much force and causing you to stumble forward and straight into a pillar due to his reflex to move away, he looked at you like you were the one at fault.

Your head pounded harder, now. Your nose was aching from the hit into the wall and your headache worsened. You felt like everything was spinning and your legs felt weak. You furrowed your eyebrows at the man who looked at you with what seemed like annoyance and huffed.

“Kang Taemoo?” you breathed out, brows furrowed in confusion, “Of all people?”

“That’s not what an apology sounds like.” he said.

Yup. Kang Taemoo for sure. With that attitude, it could only be him. Just the same as ten years ago.

“You made me drop my book.” he said, looking at you with furrowed eyebrows. You huffed a bit, having been running to your class, a little bit late.

“And you walked straight into me because you weren’t looking.” you retorted, scoffing, “Sorry.”

He held up the opened book with one hand. “The pages are creased. You owe me 10,000 won.”

Kang Taemoo was none other than your ex from high school. You broke off because you were both too busy, and with both your characters, ended up on a slightly petty note. You didn't hate each other, but that didn't hold back the sarcastic, annoyed remarks you'd send to each other each time your families' companies held meetings together. Much to their dismay.

You knew your families would've preferred if you got married, even.

You breathed out through your nose and took a deep breath, before nodding a bit hazily. “An apology, of course. I should be surprised you’re not asking me for thanks, but I’m not. I have no reason to…” your breaths grew heavy at each word that left your mouth, and the world darkened each time you took a second too long to blink it away. You huffed out air through puffed cheeks before swallowing thickly, “… Apologize… To you…”

You felt arms catch you before you felt yourself faint.

Now, of course you felt how dizzy everything was, how lightheaded you felt, how darkened your vision grew, how weak your limbs felt. But the panic couldn’t fully settle in when someone caught you before you could even touch the ground.

You blinked hazily. Then you furrowed your eyebrows. “Taemoo, why...”

He pursed his lips into a thin line and you seriously started to wonder what you had done to make him seem like you owed him an apology of sorts. Then your hand came up to your face, the back of it moving to cover your eyes from the blinding lights of the restaurant, when your thumb touched something wet on your upper lip.

You pulled you hand back and suddenly felt very conscious, jumping up from Taemoo’s hold and onto your knees. “Blood. Did I get a nosebleed?” you scoffed to yourself, but then regretted moving so fast, head lolling backwards a bit before you caught yourself on the nearest wall.

Behind you, Taemoo got up and dusted off in his clothes, before pulling at a part of his pristine white shirt and scowling. “Indeed. You owe me 80,000 won.”

You turned around, eyes half-lidded and expression astounded. “Excuse me?”

Only then did you catch sight of the red, unmistakable drop of blood on the man’s shirt. It seemed like he was avoiding contact with your face and his shirt, even. Did he dislike blood that much? You scoffed, a lazy smile on your lips. “I’ll get it washed. I’m not buying you a new shirt.”

He crossed his arms, expression displeased as he walked towards you. You could only look up at him, a bit helpless and still extremely dizzy. And with blood on your face. You blinked slowly, and then looked behind him. Your eyes widened and you pulled Taemoo closer by his legs.

"W-What are you doing?" he exclaimed, trying to step back. He looked over his shoulder and sighed in despair. "I don't know who or what you're trying to hide from, but people are going to get the... wrong idea if you stay like this— Just, get up."

You peeked behind him, watching the man you were supposed to meet walk over to the table you were supposed to be sitting at right now. You hissed and grimaced in annoyance, before leaning your forehead on Taemoo's knee and banging it on his knee. "Argh, seriously. Of all times... Of all times, he just... Oh, fuck."

You suddenly scrambled to get up, finally registering what he had just told you and profusely bowing your head. "Sorry. Sorry, seriously. Didn't think about that."

He sighed, waving in dismissal. "Let's go get a room."

"What?!" you yelled, before clearing your throat and lowering your voice, "What?"

Huh? What was he suggesting? This couldn't possibly be what you thought.

It was, in fact, not what you thought.

You sat on the counter of the hotel bedroom's bathroom as Taemoo carefully dabbed and rubbed on the blood on your face, seemingly very focused on his task. You, on the other hand, couldn't get your focus off how close his face would get every time he cleaned the blood off. He nodded to himself after a little while. "The blood from your nosebleed is gone, and I bandaged the area that looked injured on your face. Are you hurt anywhere else?"

You shook your head no, gently because either way you'd feel dizzy again. "No."

"Good."

He held his hand out for you and you instinctively took it, stepping down from the counter and trying not to put pressure on your injured ankle.

Again, why was he so much like when you were younger?

“You really couldn’t look up from your phone for a second?” he sighed, dabbing the disinfectant-filled cotton on your wounds. You winced and he shot you a glare, “Now you only have yourself to blame for running straight into that pole.”

“This isn’t nice.” you complained, sighing, “Stop being so mean, Taemoo.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” he raised his eyebrows, eyes still trained on a cut on your cheekbone, “You’re getting rightfully scolded. Deal with it.”

You jutted out your bottom lip and Taemoo glanced down at it, before doing a double take and sighing. He put his hands on his hips and took a step back, looking at you with a look of disbelief, scoffing and shaking his head in disapproval. "You even got your lip injured. I can't believe this."

You touched it and winced, seeing the blood on the pad of your finger. The boy walked back closer to you and went to disinfect it, but you moved back, shaking your head no. He quirked an eyebrow.

"What? Scared of a little sting on your lip?"

"No." you scoffed, "Shut up."

He looked at you weirdly. Or well, not weirdly. But more so... Differently. You'd never seen him look at you, or anyone else, really, that way. You couldn't decipher what that look meant.

He put both his hands on the table of the storage room you two were currently in (after you insisting that if the nurse took care of you she'd scold you tons and it would be annoying, and instead going to the storage room and taking the spare first-aid-kit that was there, hidden by Taemoo himself after you got injured one too many times and refused to go see the nurse that you claimed was "just mean", so he could take care of you instead) and leaned forward. You couldn't exactly back away more than you already had, and you weren't sure if you wanted to. With his face this close to yours, you weren't sure if you didn't want to close the distance instead.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Then prove it."

"Just--" you scoffed, looking away. He was really making it hard. "Shut up."

"Make me."

You looked him in the eye, and he smirked. Oh, now that was it.

You leaned forward and pressed your lips against his, eyes shut tightly and fingers grasping at the table in fear of his reaction. But he kissed you back, tilting his head and smiling when you winced at the contact against your wound. He pulled back. "So I was right."

You scoffed. This bastard. He held out his hand for you to take and you did, stepping off the table.

Why did Kang Taemoo have to act the same way he used to? You exhaled and tried to focus as he walked you back to the room, before sitting you down on the bed. You hated how caring he was-- Taking care of your injuries, making sure you didn't get hurt any further. It reminded you too much of the times you were still together. It was infuriating.

"You okay?" he asked in the same monotonous voice he always used. You nodded and he heaved a sigh, "Don't think I'm doing this for you. I'm hiding, too."

"Hiding?" you repeated incredulously, "From?"

"Tell me first. Why were you hiding from that man? Were you on a date?"

You scoffed. "That doesn't concern you. We're not dating." anymore, you thought, "What about you?"

Taemoo crossed his arms and looked down, nodding a bit, before looking back up at you. "I was going on a blind date tonight." he said honestly. You didn't like the pang of jealousy you felt in your chest because you two weren't together anymore, and if you hadn't seen him right then, you would've probably spent more years not seeing each other and it would've been fine. But of course, he had to bump into your life again. And the problem with Kang Taemoo was that despite all your efforts, often successful, at dating other people after your break-up, he could always manage to ruin everything. He came back, with that irritating, cold, handsome face and character of his, and ruined everything.

"Then go. Why are you hiding?"

"I don't look presentable."

You looked up, and looked him up and down, before scoffing. "That's one drop of blood, Taemoo. Seriously. It's fine."

"And also, I had to take care of something important, and I'm sure whoever that girl I was supposed to meet is wouldn't have liked to see it on our very first date." he added on, walking closer to the edge of the bed, "There. I was honest. Now tell me; were you on a date?"

You looked away, tilting your head. "Depends. Would it get a rise out of you if I said yes? Or is there no point in lying about it?"

He scoffed, laughing in disbelief, before swiping his tongue over his lower lip.

"Why do you want to make me angry? You really haven't changed." he stated, smiling. You chuckled a bit.

"I could say the same."

His knee dropped on the mattress, right next to your legs, and he looked down at you. He still had his hands in his pockets, as casual as ever. You gulped a little and he smiled furthermore.

"Why?"

"You just." you stopped, looking away momentarily and shaking your head, before looking back at him, who was getting closer. "Still are arrogant. Hold on, my head, uh, is spinning."

"Lay down."

"What?"

He nodded towards the mattress. "You're on a bed. Lay down."

You froze, blinking at him. He sighed after a few seconds and gently pushed your shoulder so your back hit the mattress. He hovered over you and your eyes widened, but he only put his hand on your forehead. "Relax." he said, catching you off guard, "You look a second away from hyper-ventilating. I'm just checking your temperature. You didn't look too well even when you were walking up those stairs."

"And you care?"

He compared the temperature to the one on his own forehead. "Why wouldn't I?" he asked, face unchanging. You stared at him as a slight crease formed between his eyebrows, and he compared your temperatures again. He had such a pretty face. You hated it. You couldn't stand him.

"I can't stand you." you said without thinking, and you knew your tone betrayed your words, sounding way too dazed and gentle. You could blame it on the dizzinness.

"Good thing you're laying down, then." he concluded, pushing himself back up. Your hand grabbed his shirt before you could really think about it and he stopped, arm stretched and palm pressed right next to you. He raised his eyebrows. "What is it?"

You swiped your thumb over your lip and held back a wince, before showing the blood to him.

"I don't mind a little sting on my lip." you said. He chuckled quietly, looking at it then at you.

"So? Want me to disinfect it?"

"Kiss me, Taemoo."

Maybe you wouldn't have been bold enough to declare what you really felt if you weren't running a slight fever. But as it happened, this fever proved to be good. Because Taemoo kissed you, just as you asked, pressing his lips against yours softly and sweetly. And longer than the first time you shared a kiss.

And maybe your temperature was high, but you were certain it was the air around that was just hot when you sat up to unbutton his shirt and he pulled your jacket off your shoulders.

Your prior engagements and his date were long forgotten, needless to say.

[midday0nightmares]

13 - like father, like son.

previous chapter abandoned

m.list.

tw - angst, kidnapping, mental health, blood, violence.

*this is pure fiction and it is not intended to romanticize any of the situations mentioned bellow.

jaemin gave your meds.. before taking his pillow and turning to leave you alone in his room.. 

the words broke free before you could stop them .. 

“you’er leaving?” you bite your tongue but it’s too late now.. you hope he doesn’t see your neediness that hide behind the haste question..

“yeah.. I’ll sleep on the couch” .. 

he curtly answers and turns his back to you and leaves, not giving you a chance to speak again..

You were woken up by the intruding headache.. you feel too warm you try to move but the room spinning around you threting to disappear, 

you call jaemin .. you’er not sure your voice is hearable.. 

But the light that slipped through the cracking door assured you that your calls were heard, his shadowy figure nearing you bringing with it a sense of relief .. 

“I don’t feel good.. “ you whine to him ..

His hand reach to your forehead .. 

“you’er burning” ..

he stroke your cheek, his tender touch brings you to tears.. you lean your face deeper into the balm of his hand..

You needy gesture goes unnoticed by him as he withdraw his hand taking with the warm you craved..

“This is not good.. we need to take you to the emergency room"..

He turns on the lights and opens his closet.. he take out one of his hoodies and returns to your side, he sits you up ignoring your winces.. he slips your head through it and guide you arms in it.. he retrieves to come back with white socks he slips your feet into them..

He leaves you for a minute to put his coat and shoes on, he picks his car keys .. phone and wallet, he doesn’t forget your fake id ..

“Ok come on.. “ he crouch in front of you and picks you up.. you try to protest claiming you can walk by yourself but he holds your thighs and lefts you to circle them around his waist, you cling to him like a child.. you lay your spinning head on his shoulder, inhaling his scent, finding comfort in his warm strong body..

He walks with ease, he’s not effected by your weight.. he opens his car door and helps in the passenger seat before he clips your seat belt, he gently shuts the door and walks to the driver side..

“Remember.. your name is sera, if anyone asks .. im your boyfriend and we live together” .. you nod

“You slipped in the shower last week and lost the baby..” 

“ I slipped in the shower ..” You repeat to yourself before nodding..

The car ride was silent, you rested your head on the cold window.. he checks on you every now and then .. 

“we are almost there..”

The car comes to a stop and you open your eyes and unbuckle the seat belt.. he opens your door but notice you don’t have those on.. “wait here..”

He opens the trunk and gets you a pair of crocks and lays them on the ground infant of you, you slip your feet in them and he helps you stand.. you wobble and use his arm to stabilize yourself.. 

“can you walk?” ..

You nod.. sniffling the fever tears..

Everything feels like a blur.. you sit at the waiting area leaning on his shoulder while he fills the admission form.. Soon the nurse calls your name and he answers for you..Your temperature had risen while you were waiting, you’er unable to hold yourself straight now, your eyes rolled back, your senses discounting from your surroundings.. you feel him around again you as he pick you up.. 

He lays you on the hospital bed .. the nurse checks your vital signs while acquiring him on your condition..That was the last thing you remember before blacking out ..

You return to your senes and open your eyes to the bright emergency room.. jaemin and a doctor talking behind the curtain .. 

“You have to take care of her.. miscarriage is not easy, she will need your support physically and emotionally, keep her well rested and make sure she eats.. masseur her temperature every six hours, if it rises over 38 degrees bring her back as fast as you could”.. “don’t worry she’ll be fine.. you can try again later”..

They open the curtain to see you awake..

“Sera.. hello, sorry for your loss.. how are you feeling now?” 

the doctor checks your temperature..

“Better.. “ you mumble..

“You scared us just now.. your boyfriend thought he’ve lost you” he jokes but no one laughs ..

“Anyway, I will give you probiotics to fight the infection, take fluids and rest and eat well ok?” He writes the predictions and hands it to jaemin before he leaves.. 

Silence falls heavy.. unspoken words hangs in the air but you ignore them.. You watch the iv drip in consonant rhythm.. jaemin clears his throat getting your attention.. “I got you this.. from the gift shop” 

He hands you a teddy bear.. weak smile emerging on your tired face .. 

“you shouldn’t have”.. 

The nurse came and took out the iv needle, you signed the release papers and left the hospital..The drive back although silent, but it had a different feels.. he rolls down the window, allowing the night breeze to flirt with your hair.. You inhale the city air, you watch the lights pass you by.. 

He stops the car as he passes over a bridge.. 

 “wanna take a walk?” ..

You perk up .. “do I? Yes I very much do” .. you were beyond ecstatic.. your happy demeanor puts a smile on his grime features..

You open the door step out.. he follows you out, you look at him for approval .. he nods to you, you walk away from him .. you look around the empty street, you lean on the rails of the bridge to look down at the dark waters beneath it, the city lights reflecting over the surface to the river..

You take a deep breathe, you do your best to savor the moment.. He stays behind, leaning on the hood of his car.. You turn to look at him .. 

“why are you being so nice to me?”..

 You question his motive..He shrugs..

 “you’er sick..” 

You take his answer without any doubt and walk towards him, holding eye contact..

“thank you..” You wrap your arms around him in gratitude ..he dose the same.. you soak in his affection for a minute before pulling away..

“promise me you will never do it again sera..” 

He tugs a hair stand behind your ear..but no matter how much you want to please him you can’t promise him you will never run to your freedom when given the opportunity..

he sigh and tilts his head sensing your refusal .. “I don’t want you to get hurt, I don’t want to hurt you”.. 

“Then don’t.. just let me go!” 

“You know I can’t do that” ..

here it is.. the cruelty.. you look away from him.

you both remain quite for an awkward moment.. 

“It’s late.. let’s go home” he speaks first..

he opens your door for you, crushing your heart.. he shouldn’t played with you like that.. he gave you hope and stole it back..

The door slams shuts and he gets in.. 

The drive continue yet again but this time in dreadful, ugly silence ..

[vtforpedro]

Medical procedures gone badly TW. I’m on my phone and don’t know how to cut it

Lumbar puncture went poorly. Should’ve stuck to my gut and never done it. I’m scared of what’s happening in my brain not just from the excruciating pain but how it’s changed from one mri report less than three months ago to now. I’ve spent 20 hours in the ED this weekend. Working to get my neurologist and neurosurgeon to look at the four MRIs they had me do in emergency when they took me seriously the second time

more trauma and horror experienced at the hands of doctors. I don’t want to do this anymore. I can’t even walk more than to the toilet. It’s been more than three days and I’m declining

how do I keep going. I can’t I cannot keep doing this I’m in excruciating pain and my doctors aren’t listening just like before and before and before that too

I had high pressure in my brain. A lot. I’ll get my fucking diagnosis on paper. My brain makeup has changed since the LP and I’m suffering low pressure which is acutely more dangerous the longer it goes on

They’re not listening. I’ve had to be in two ambulances. Belittled by doctors and nurses and other medical professionals and those who didn’t belittle, can’t help. The people that can help think I just have a headache and back pain from the needle. I can’t eat I can barely drink and I’ve barely slept in two days. I can’t walk and I’m losing my strength. I’ve had a fever from an unknown cause. The back pain is severe when it comes on in my thoracic spine, six inches above my lumbar which is fine, and nothing touches it. I have to hold on wishing I was dead until it calms down

the head is most severe when I stand. I can’t be on my feet. Beyond going to the bathroom and the need to be up at the ED I’ve been lying flat

this all started instantaneously when I had the lp. an hour after and when they were trying to kick me out so I wasn’t their problem, I was already in excruciating pain. This is what I feared. This is literally what I feared for a year and a half and more so now because my brain has been swollen for so long. I don’t like that things on my brain mri are different than three months ago

Like my worst nightmare is coming true every second this doesn’t improve and just gets worse. It’s horrifying. Is anyone on here a doctor or knows a neurologist they can chat with urgently lmao since mine are too busy to look at my imaging and my neurosurgeon was in the OR all day. Im experiencing an active ongoing medical emergency and ER won’t help because it’s beyond their scope and I ‘really need to talk to my specialist’

they were gonna do a blood patch but then worried I might have an abscess because of where the pain is in my back and I had a fever

I have no physical energy for a third round at the er. My mom can’t get me to a car. Neuro places are downtown. I can’t last that long in a bumpy car without fearing for my brain safety

I want to go back to Thursday and not do this. I never should have. 2.5 years of this to get my almost completely safe and normal procedure!!! ruin what fraction of will I had to go on

but I got my diagnosis lol

[urstruly-ghst]

Hey sorry to bother but could I maybe request something for Malleus, Jack and Azul taking care of a male s/o who's sick with an illness to the point where he struggles to walk around by himself and he's much weaker than normal because of it, like he's almost collapsed trying to attend classes claiming that he's fine? Absolutely no problem if you don't want to do this though, I love your blog and you

as someone who fainted multiple times to illness, ik what to do and that is not to be stubborn. also IM SORRY IT TOOK THIS LONG FOR ME TO WRITE I--

tw : it isn't much, but... Fainting, vague mentions of old medical practice, sickness.

                                             malleus draconia 

Malleus has encountered a variety of plagues, pain, sickness, that each human encounters. He notes some have cures now, others still don’t. He can still faintly recall the horrid ways human were to cure themselves, from drilling a hole into your skull... To plain out eating dirt that was blessed by people.

The symptoms of your illness start to show during a date, he associated it with the plagues, and asked if you were alright to even attend school the next day.

You insisted your fine, and assured him that you can go to your class! Though it was fairly not believable when your chest heaved up and down so visibly, as if you were having a hard time to breathe.

But again he brushed it off, choosing to believe your words. You knew your body more than he does. However, he regrets even letting you off the hook that day.

When he first saw you that day, he notes your movements aren't as active as others, but he brushed this off as a fatigue thing. Not all can be active or lively everyday.

However, during the hallway meetings you have with him, he notes your sluggish appearance. You paled, your face sunken, you seem to have barely any control in breathing!

Malleus frowned at that and demanded you to take a break during one of your recess. Better yet, take the day entire off!

You refused, obviously, wanting to catch up to the class you have. But, before you can process, your body gave out. The exhaustion tolling you, begging you to sleep.

Malleus stared and panicked, and carried you to the infirmary. He was scared his precious boyfriend is about to die, he just thought all humans are fragile.

When in his arms, he notes your temperature is warmer than usual. He clicked his tongue, scolding himself for even considering the option to let you attend class in such state.

While he carried you to the infirmary, he asked the nurse, all while fussing over your unconscious body. The nurse chuckled and said that it was a classic case of overworking and fevers.

So, with that in mind, he prepared some fluffy blankets and some warm pillows in his dorm. He also got some medicine, from the school nurse, for you. All he needed was you to wake up so you can rest more.

jack howl

Jack and you were in your dorm, doing assignments and stuff for Crowley. However, Jack was an observant man, and he knew that you are straining yourself.

However, you insist that you are well and can attend class tomorrow, you were just tired. Plus, you had an awesome boyfriend to cheer you up!

He blushed at that, seriously... When will you stop flirting with him? Jack decided that he should just let you go to school, you insisted, and he said just be careful.

Jack, being so worried for his wonderful boyfriend, decided to head to your dorm, first thing in the morning. After all, his senses said you are not well.

And he was right, there you were, in the dorm's hallway, heaving a big breath while failing to stand upright or even mumble words.

Jack sighed as he assisted you back to your room, which you protested against. You urged that you were going, and that this was just a mild inconvenience!

He didn't take any of it, pulling you your room, and getting comfortable clothing for you, demanding you change.

With little resistance, you did so as you were told, stripping your (not really neat) uniform for pajamas.

While you were dressing, Jack went downstairs to tell Grim that you can't make it to school, as you are too sick. He also said to give him a late call, he has to attend classes but will be a bit late.

Jack went back up, this time with a basin and some clean cloth, he also had a tray of snacks you stashed.

With that, he placed the wet cloth on your forehead, making sure you were okay before leaving a note saying he would be back for you at lunch.

azul ashengrotto

He wasn't familiar with Land dwellers' diseases. Azul read a book (that was probably aged) that humans drill holes into their skull to remove a headache! Another thing he read was people dancing till they passed out? And the only solution was to round them and put on red shoes?

Needless to say, Azul assumed your sicknesses are still being healed like that and though he researched more... He still thinks that old medical practice was still valid.

So imagine his horror when he saw you display symptoms of bad diseases he probably can't even say or spell.

It was an awkward situation for both of you, when you caught the seasonal flu. The coughing and other symptoms were visible and it made.you act up, and Azul visibly was nervous.

It didn't help how slightly out of it you were, you were dazed, pale, breathing like you can't breathe. It made him panic and go into a frenzy on what to do.

So he offered warm drinks for you, which he read was just the thing to help you. Azul notes the way you seem so warm, and not in a good way too. You were basically burning up!

Azul panicked again, were you burning on the inside?! Was his boyfriend, whom he desperately does not want to die, about to explode?!

He calms himself, before opting to take you to the nurse or bring the nurse to you. Maybe then he can learn a thing or two about your diseases and learn to take care of you too.

[truelovevoltage]

DOAS: Taking Care Of You

“miyuki-snow said: Hello~ Could you do Diary of a Step Sister headcanon please... Like when the MC suddenly fainted im school because of overworking and the brothers tried to nurse her...”

“miyuki-snow said: Sorry... Forgot to mention... Could you do for Yuji, Masaki and Shun please”

Masaki Saionji

He noticed that you were a bit sluggish this morning but he didn’t look into it deeply, he thought that you were just really tired. He can’t really blame you for it since you’ve been helping him out with extra practice. But for him, he didn’t feel tired at all. 

You, on the other hand didn’t want to worry him and decided to go to school even when you’re not at your hundred percent self health wise. You decided to go with the flow and took a non-drowsy pill to help with your headache and to help you get through the day. The last thing you’d want is to fall asleep in class. 

The pill worked in the morning and now you just have to get through the rest of the day. You couldn’t wait to go home and sleep. Masaki invited you to the cafeteria to grab lunch and the two of you talked about the previous lesson. However your surroundings started to sway and made you nauseous. 

Masaki thought you were following behind him but when he turn around he saw you holding your head while the other hand was on the wall for support. Before he could even ask you what was wrong, you couldn’t take it anymore and collapsed. You were lucky that Masaki rushed to your side before you fell. 

He panicked and picked you up right away. He was worried about you, what the hell happened? You were fine awhile ago, why did you suddenly faint? When the two of you arrived at the infirmary room he explained what happened. “Hmm, did she have breakfast this morning?” 

“Yeah she did. We always eat breakfast together as a family.” 

“I see. Y/N’s going to be fine, she just needs to rest. I know it’s exam season and everyone always push themselves and study hard during this time of the year. But I also know that she’s your manager for your team and had to juggle between that and school.” 

The realization hit him hard. He didn’t know that you were trying to juggle everything and he even asked you to help him get extra practice. He blamed himself for being selfish. 

It didn’t take awhile and you woke up, “What happened?” You asked. The Nurse answered your question and told you to rest for the time being. You even apologized to Masaki for worrying him. “Y/N I’m sorry, I should’ve been more observant. I didn’t know that you were pushing yourself and trying to keep things in balance.” He frowned. “But you don’t have to worry, I’ll take care of you.” He smiled. 

That night he told you that you didn’t need to come down to have dinner, he brought you food in your room. He stayed with you and made sure you were eating, he wanted you to finish the food he brought up. He’s going to make sure you eat and get enough sleep so that this won’t happen again.

Shun Saionji

Shun questioned Kaname why you weren’t here. He was very excited to tell you about his day and what they did at class today. He loved talking to you about things whether they’re good, or bad.

He was looking forward to it but when Kaname just drove straight home Shun new something was wrong. Before he could even ask, the butler of Saionji answered the question he’s been meaning to ask but didn’t know where to start. “Miss Y/N overworked herself and fainted at school. Your brothers called me right away to pick her up from school and to look after her.” 

This made the young Saionji worry about you, he couldn’t wait to go home and see how you were doing. He started to wonder what you’d like for your snack or what you’d like to eat for dinner. He tried to remember all your favourite snack or favourite food but nothing came to mind. 

Shun then remembered that you never talked to him about these things, you always listened to him talk about his day at school or what his favourite activities are. You were there to listen about his interests but you never shared your own interest to him and he was going to find out about it. 

He knocked on your door and you mumbled an answer. Shun wanted you to get plenty of rest but he also wanted you to eat. You need to eat to get back your strength.

Shun walked in with a tray. “I heard that you fainted and I brought you some snacks. I didn’t know what your favourite snacks were so I asked the maids if they could make my favourite and we can eat them together.” 

“Oh Shun! Thank you for this but you didn’t have to. I would be happy to try out your favourite snacks!” You smiled at him. 

He wanted to talk about his usual day because you weren’t there inside the car on the way home but he held it back. He wanted to know more about you but he knows that you need to rest. “I’ll get them to make my favourite for you to try and hopefully next time I can try your favourite snack and food as well. For now, you need to get better Y/N and I will be your personal butler.” He smiled. 

You were thankful to have a kind and caring brother to be there for you at your side. “Thank you, I’ll be in your care then.” You giggled as he gave you tea to drink. 

Yuji Saionji

He was minding his own business and was preparing for the upcoming festival and kept him busy for awhile. He didn’t even notice the time and there’s only two hours left and the day will be over. 

Yuji thought about going to your classroom and go home together since he always enjoyed your company. However one if his classmates ran and opened the door of the room, it made everyone jumped in surprise. “YUJI!” His classmate yelled. 

“There’s no need to shout, I’m right here.” He replied.

“I just saw Y/N getting carried to the infirmary.” 

This made Yuji stand up from his seat. The others knew that whenever it comes to a family member, Yuji will take everything seriously. He looked at the his classmates and gave him a nod. He was thankful that his classmates were very understanding. 

He didn’t even listen to the rest but he ran to the infirmary. He didn’t care about his looks right now, he was worried about you. He wanted to know what happened exactly. 

Upon his arrival, his older brother was there talking to the nurse. “Perfect timing. Yuji, can you take Y/N home? I would do it but I have a meeting later and Kaname is busy as well. I can tell your teacher to excuse you for the rest of the day.” 

Even if his brother didn’t tell him to do it, he will gladly offered to take you home instead of staying in the school. You had a slight fever and Yuji made sure you were warm on the way home. He wanted to do something for you and cook soup to make your body warm. 

He carried you to your room but you didn’t feel anything cause you were in a deep sleep. I guess that’s what happens when you use up all of your battery and don’t have time to recharge at all.

While you slept in your comfortable bed he made you soup. He asked the chef if they could help him make soup, at least then it won’t turn out as bad and it’ll be edible. He also made sure to bring you fresh flowers in your room in case you wake up from your sleep. 

It surprised you when you woke up in your room and wondered how you got there because the last thing you remember was you fainting in the hallway as you walked with your friends. 

You sat up from you bed and saw that there were flowers on your bedside table. You wondered to yourself who put the flowers but it made you feel better, and during that time Yuji was walking in with the soup he made. “Oh you’re awake. That’s good then, you need to eat some soup and take your medicine.” He smiled. 

You were about to pick up the spoon and eat when Yuji snatched it from you. “Nope, you’re sick Y/N. I’m going to feed you.” You wanted to say no but you didn’t want to hurt his feelings and nodded at him. “I’m going to be your personal Nurse today Y/N! If you need anything I will get it for you.” 

Once you were done eating, he fixed your pillows and made sure you were comfortable. He stayed with you until you fell asleep, he didn’t want to leave you alone. When he noticed you fell asleep, he tucked you in and whispered to get better soon.

[nightmaretyrantvantas]

Sleep well, I’ll be here as you rest- a lil pokemon au fic

soooo i sent a headcanon last night that I cannot stop thinking about for @sugarglider9603 ‘s pokemon au and i decided to try writing a fic for it!

(im sorry in advance if anyone is out of character this is my first time writing thomas and the boys)

The afternoon was sunny and breezy as Thomas stretched his arms in the air, smiling happily as he watched his pokemon play together in the Alamos gardens. If he glanced to the side he could easily see the relaxed form of Darkrai observing them all from the shade as he had been doing for a few days now. The thought of it made Thomas smile, and he waved a little to the Legendary while keeping an eye on the playing eeveelutions. He trusted them but he’d had a few too many run in with Team Rocket for the man’s comfort, and so he sat close to his team and watched over them, smiling as Remus dragged over something metal from the trashcan. 

       “ Oh? Is this for me? Thanks Remus, its great.” He reached down and scratched behind the beaming Leafeon’s ear and chuckled as he bounded off in Roman’s direction, Deceit trotting after him. He looked down and picked up his present, what appeared to be a broken bicycle bell and set it in his bag. For a few moments as he sat back up he felt a little dizzy but Thomas simply brushed it off and rolled his shoulders, suddenly too cold despite the warm sun beating his back. 

‘ Maybe it was just the breeze...cant worry too much about it now’ There wasnt enough time. After all once they were done enjoying the gardens he had to get something for them for dinner and start getting things ready for the contest coming up in a couple days. He smiled watching Remus pounce on Roman and the two brothers roll around play fighting while Logan and Patton wandered around the flowerbeds, picking flowers and enjoying the sunshine while Virgil napped beside Darkrai in the shade. Everything was nice and peaceful, so peaceful Thomas could ignore his slowly growing headache or how much heavier his body felt. 

After awhile and one deep breath Thomas gave a small whistle, noticing the sun going down much sooner than he thought, hitting 6:30 already. 

        “ Hey guys! C’mon its getting late and I bet you’re all hungry! Let’s go get dinner!” He winced at the raspy edge to his voice smiled seeing them all perk their ears and trot over to him chirring and chattering with each other. Thomas beamed and with more difficulty than he expected he heaved himself off the bench and to his feet. Instantly all the icky feelings he had amplified, as if he got dunked into ice water. He shivered and swayed, rubbing a hand over his face “ ugh...that’s not a good feelin....g...” He barely got his sentence out as his vision blurred, feeling his body lurching forward. The last thing he could remember where panicked cries of alarm and rapid footfalls along with the feeling of arms around him before his consciousness fully faded...

For a few moments there was nothing but panic.

       “ Thomas?!” “ Oh god is he dead??” Oh no oh no oh no” “ Thomas wake up!!” “what happened???”

‘ Everyone take a deep breath. Youre human is very much alive’ 

They all quieted and looked up at the deeper, calm voice of the older pokemon, their beloved trainer now cradled unconscious in his shadowy arms.

‘ He is merely sleeping, and he will live.’  Most of them were able to calm down, but Virgil was restless and fidgeting, pawing at the dirt with his ears pressed against his head. Roman leaned against him and licked between his ears to try to soothe the smaller pokemon. It worked a little, easing the worst of his fidgeting.

       “ We need to get him to the pokemon center. The nurse will know how to help him.” Logan hopped up on the bench and licked Thomas’s finger, noticing his skin felt too hot. With a plan and a destination Logan decided to lead the way back to the pokemon center, trying to avoid running into to many people as they ran. 

When they burst through the doors Patton was the one who rushed towards the desk crying and hopping up to get Nurse Joy’s attention. He startled her but one glance behind him and the older woman was around her desk though she was pale and nervous.

     “ Oh no, is this boy your trainer?” At the nods she called for her chansey and carefully approached, though she stopped a few feet away when Remus and Deceit growled protectively. They only stopped when Virgil squirmed inbetween them and bapped their noses, wanting their attention and reassurance(which he immediately recieved). The nurse looked at Darkrai and bowed her head a little respectfully, clearly nervous to be confronting the legendary.

     “ Darkrai...may I please take him to make sure hes ok? I promise it wont take long.” He considered her silently and very gently placed Thomas into her arms, warning her to take good care of him. Then he sat on the floor with the worrying eeveelutions and watched over them, his deep voice gently assuring them their human would be fine as the woman and her chansey hurried into an examination room with Thomas.

    “ He’s right in here boys. He’s asleep so dont rough house too much ok? Your trainer seems to have come down with a cold and had a pretty high fever, but its expected to break during the night.” She leaned down and set out food for all of them and gently patted the heads of who would let her smiling as she told them Thomas would be awake and better by morning, though he’d have to stay in bed a couple days to fully recover. As soon as the door shut they all tried to jump onto the bed and huddle around their trainer.

      “ I hope he wakes up before morning...” Virgil whimpered as he paced up and down the bed. He only stopped when Logan rubbed against him comfortingly.

      “ I feel the same, but he also needs as much sleep as he can get. Thomas will be fine Virgil, lets try to relax.” He tried, the espeon really tried but within a few minutes he was pacing again. This time he felt a cold hand on his head and looked up at Darkrai, his body relaxing when he felt the Legendary’s clawed hands gently scratch his fur.

‘ I will be here to watch over him little one, he will be safe. You all will.’ He nodded and curled up against Thomas’s neck and head, purring when Roman hopped up and laid as much against him as he could on Thomas’s shoulder. Slowly each of the others hopped onto the bed. Remus curled up against Thomas’s hip using said hip as a headrest, Deceit stretching our next to him along Thomas’s right side. Patton curled up on Thomas’s chest nuzzling him worriedly as Logan laid on his stomach beside the Sylveon, nuzzling him and smiling a little as they fell asleep together. And as they all fell asleep Darkrai sat beside the bed vigilantly, making a content noise at the sweet sight of the pokemon sleeping on their human, making sure nothing happened as the night passed calmly.

      “ Nnngh...” Soft morning light filtered through the bedroom window as Thomas pried his eyes open, already feeling better though he was having some trouble breathing. But he knew the weight on his chest and smiled as he rubbed his eyes yawning. The moment he moved he saw them all stir and wake up.

     “ H-hey guys....morning--ack ack!” He yelped and couldnt help but giggle as they all tried to swarm him frantically, burying him in fur and fluff and licks and kisses from worry. He held them all tightly smoothing each of their furs and trying to nuzzle them back.

     “ hehe I love you guys too! Im sorry i worried you...its ok im fine now!” Even so they did everything they could to keep him in bed for the next couple days, all while the shadowy legendary come back every day to check up on them and watched over them every single night.

The end

aaaaaaa I hope you guys like this! Its been a few months since I’ve been able to write so I hope it isnt too bad! Maybe I’ll be able to write more now! 

Enjoy!

[axindas-art]

In Sickness and In Health

“You don’t have to do anything I’ll be fine on my own…” A gruff voice expressed from under the bed sheets.

“Isa your temperature is at 103 degrees, what makes you think you’ll be able to do anything besides resting?” Lea expressed, putting the thermometer away before helping Isa prop himself up with a mountain of pillows behind his back.

“If I managed to run an organization until the very end, I can manage to do basic needs,” said a stubborn Isa before being met with a coughing fit.

“And I, with the help of friends, managed to run said organization to the ground…” Lea said, a small chuckle escaping his lips. “Come on, don’t be stubborn and let your body rest, I’ll take care of everything okay?”

Once his coughing subsided, Isa met Lea’s green eyes with his own tired ones before sighing and asking himself: ‘Can he really trust this red porcupine to NOT destroy their apartment?’ The ringing headache that was rising said yes, but his heart said no.

With a long sigh, he rubbed the bridge of his nose before saying “fine. You’re in charge of today’s chores. I’m trusting you to keep yourself busy and be careful.”

“I knew you could trust in me!” Lea said with a warm smile. Moving closer, he placed a small kiss on his forehead above his scar before pulling the covers over him, helping him settle into his side of the bed.

“I promise you I wont mess up, in a few hours your going to wake up with some freshly squeezed OJ and a warm bowl of chicken noodle soup okay?” He said, gently holding his hand with a warm smile on his face.

Isa couldn’t say no to that soft dorky face. As much as a troublemaker he was, he knew how much Lea loved looking after his loved ones and every little thing he did reminded him of how much he loved Lea.

“I trust you okay? I’ll get some shut eye and when I wake up I’m expecting you to be here.” He said with a small smirk, running his thumb over Lea’s knuckles.

“Oh don’t worry I’ll be here alright.” Lea responded, giving a small wink before getting up to place one last kiss on his forehead. As much as Isa hated being flustered, his fever did not help and made him as red as a tomato. Nestling down into his mound of pillows and grabbing his Meowjesty tsum tsum, he closed his eyes before whispering, “Good night” to Lea, letting sleep take him over.

“Good Night Isa” he said, chuckling at how comfortable he looked before getting up, closing the curtains and quietly leaving the room.

Ladle in one hand, recipe in the other, Lea was ready to cook the world's best chicken noodle soup. In his heart, he had to outdo Remy’s outstanding chicken soup to prove how worthy of a significant other he was. If he can defeat heartless in one swipe, he can make a savory dish to alleviate Isa from a fever. But in his soul he knew: he can’t cook for shit.

“If Xion was here, maybe she could’ve helped me…” He pondered to himself, taking a look at the ingredients list Scrooge managed to text him.

Lea wasn’t one to easily give up, but at the thought of burning up the kitchen and upsetting Isa more than he already was haunted him. He shook his head before patting his chest, a goofy grin across his face:

“No! I have to be the responsible one for the day and show Isa I’m capable of taking care of the both of us! If I follow the list precisely, nothing could go wrong right?”

Aside from being the jokester in the group, Lea was known for being confident and helping motivate everyone around him. Everything he did came from his heart and what mattered was him trying his best. However, sometimes doing his best led him to troublesome situations.

“Soup isn’t that hard to make Lea.” “I know its not Roxas, but I can’t help feeling nervous about it. What if I boil it over or make it too salty?” A puzzled Lea looked onto the Gummiphone, having answered a virtual phone call coming from Roxas.

“If you boil it over, you're just turning flavored water into flavored mist, you're going to be fine. If it’s salty, Isa’s taste buds won’t recognize flavor due to all the medicine he’s taking.”

“I hate to admit that you’re right” Lea said chuckling, rolling his eyes. He was grateful Roxas happened to call and alleviate his worry. It’s as if Yen Sid read his mind and said this poor bastard needs help.

“Your going to do fine, plus you should start learning to cook for yourself. Can’t feed yourself off of Sea Salt Ice Cream all the time you know.” Roxas said with a cheeky smile.

“I don’t want to hear that from you Mr. Winner Winner Chicken Dinner” Lea said, a laugh escaping his lips before sighing in relief. Having finished his chores before cooking was causing his worry to build up; however all of that worry was now replaced with newfound confidence.

“Do you feel better now?” Roxas asked, tilting his head over in a curious manner. Seeing Lea worry and puzzled over doing simple tasks made him question how on Earth Lea managed to survive this far. But he trusted him, knowing the hardest part of tackling a task was the start. From there, it would be smooth sailing for him.

“Yea, I have to trust myself more than anything. At the end of the day, it's all about me doing my very best and I know Isa will appreciate my efforts.” Lea said with a warm smile, his cheeks forming a rosy hue at the thought of Isa looking forward to his efforts.

Roxas couldn’t help but smile seeing Lea’s personality come back. He knew how close Isa and Lea had become due to the aftermath of the Keyblade War. Having shared history together and living through different instances of each others lives not only brought them closer, but strengthened their bond. The journey of friendship to significant others wasn’t easy, but everyone could tell how happy they were to be in each others lives once more.

“Well, I’ll let you go now. I trust you on holding up on your own. Send me a picture when your done okay?” Roxas grinned, giving him a thumbs up as support towards his endeavor.

“Alright alright I’ll let you know how it goes! See ya.” Lea chuckled, waving goodbye before hanging up. He gave one last sigh before giving himself small slaps on the cheeks saying:

“Alright! You got this Lea! Make this soup your bitch, it’s nothing but a bunch of vegetables, seasoning and chicken! Just follow the recipe step by step and nothing can go wrong!”

One fresh squirt of orange juice to the eyes, and a few burnt fingertips later, Lea held a wooden tray with a warm bowl of chicken noodle soup and a pitcher of freshly squeezed OJ. Gently knocking on their bedroom door, he entered the room coming to a stop at hearing a soft, stuffy snore coming from the mound of blankets and pillows on their bed.

In the few hours that Lea was cooking, Isa had shifted his body all over the place, as if a mini tornado had ransacked their bed. From feeling his body reach freezing temperature to hot as the desert leading to Agrabah, Isa couldn’t find the perfect balance of temperature to be able to sleep. His last resort was sticking one leg out of the sheets, leaving it to hang from the edge of the bed, and the rest of his body covered in blankets and pillows. And somehow, that was the sweet spot, allowing him to finally get some shut eye.

Lea couldn’t help but laugh at catching him sleep in such a way. Usually, Isa would keep himself composed and be as stiff as a board in his sleep. But this time, being sick brought down his guard and in his mind comfort was greater than posture. Lea thought to himself that catching Isa off guard could be embarrassing to him, but decided to put his jokes aside and tend to his boyfriend instead. He gently placed the tray on the nightstand next to their bed, turning on their lamp light before gently nudging Isa to wake up.

“Rise and shine sleeping beauty, its dinner time” He said, a chuckle escaping his lips hearing a small groan come from under the sheets.

“5 more minutes…” Isa whispered, his small teal eyes peeking from under the blankets. Lea chuckled at the thought of Isa acting like a cat, peering from under a tiny enclosure hesitant to come out due to being tired.

“Come on, if you don’t get up the soups’ going to get cold” Lea said before moving a bit to remove the lid off of the bowl of soup.

“You actually managed to cook? Color me impressed…” yawned Isa before coming out from under the covers. Closing his eyes and taking a whiff of the air, he could smell the hints of rosemary and oregano coming from the soup, and felt his stomach rumble. Maybe all the sleep and being hooped on meds actually started to make him feel hungry.

“I did as the recipe called for and surprise surprise, having some Chicken Noodle Soup a la Lea” he chuckled before grabbing a spoonful, gently blowing on it before feeding some to Isa.

Drinking the soup, Isa found it quite delicious and savory, having licked his lips as if wanting more. “Im perfectly capable of feeding myself you know” he stated, his face becoming flush and a small pout forming.

“Hahaha I know you are it was just a taste test dear.” Lea said with a warm smile. He was happy that Isa was doing better and felt worry disappear from his heart. “How are you feeling?”

“Much better than yesterday...thank you for looking after me.” Isa said looking into Lea’s eyes. He was grateful to be able to wake up and see those glowing jade eyes everyday. To be close to him again, and to be more than just friends was more than he could ever ask for. Traversing through memories, both forgotten and remembered, finally they were together again. He felt whole...and happy.

“No need to thank me, I’d do anything for you Isa…” Lea said, smile never leaving his face. He was happy to be this close again and wished nothing more of it. Isa was there for him as kids, now it was his turn to be there for him. “When you're done with your dinner I’m expecting you to rest more okay?”

“I’ll do so if you join me. ” Isa said with a sly smirk. Isa had his ways of wrapping Lea around his finger...and Lea loved it.

“Alright alright but if I get sick it’s your turn to play nurse.” He chuckled moving close to him, gently holding his hand. These were the small moments that Lea appreciated having again in his life. Being able to hold Isa’s hand, be close to him again...he couldn’t ask for more. As Isa finished eating his dinner, both found comfort in making small talk, being in each others company cracking half wit jokes and what not. Laughter is the best medicine, and in each others presence, love and happiness healed each others hearts. Through sickness and health, to love and to cherish, Isa and Lea ended the night quietly asleep in each others arms.

Guess who got sick the next day?

A/N: Hey everyone, my name’s Axinda and I’m new to the fanfiction community!  I hope everyone enjoys this AkuSai oneshot and feedback would be very much appreciated! I hope to write more AkuSai in the future uwu

[sicklylittlesnowflake]

oh dayum that spiderman fic was heavenly. could i possibly suggest another prompt? so how about peter being sick (obvs) when he's out fighting crime etc and he gets hit and thrown against a wall which quickly knocks him out (being weak from his illness and all) and his suit not only tracking him but also his vitals sends an alert to tony who comes to collect the whumpy peter

(Do u know what..despite me being all for the whump I’ve realised this is like only my second time writing injury wtf?? like the first time I did it was like barely even there lmao.. I’m sorry if this wasn’t very cohesive, I’m just back from a holiday and trying to get back into the swing of things!)

Crime was so much bigger than him.

Peter knew this. He knew it too well. He learned a painful lesson through his loss of Uncle Ben that crime was crime, and it had to be stopped. Because not doing anything causes a huge ripple effect, a devastating butterfly effect that would harm many innocent people like himself. In the past, he had been ignorant and unaware of the true consequences of his own actions or lack of, and now that he knew, it was Peter’s mission to look out for the little guy and try his hardest to make sure this wouldn’t happen to anyone else. It was a type of pain he wouldn’t have wished on his worst enemies.

Justice needed to be served. He had to push through anything and everything, because all of this had a devastating ripple effect and Peter’s job was to nip it in the bud. It was his duty. Even if he was sick.

“God, Peter, you look horrible,” Ned frowned as he walked down the corridor with his best friend as the last bell of the day rang.

“I feel it too,” Peter groaned, struggling to keep his heavy eyes from drooping down and shutting for good. He could feel his raging fever, and his body shook ferociously as he sniffled weakly.

Ned eyed him carefully, taking in his sickly features, “You shouldn’t have come in today–or went to the nurse. I guess this means no crime fighting tonight.”

Peter scoffed, tending up defensively, “Ned, you know I can’t do that! I can’t have someone die because I took a sick day.”

Ned rolled his eyes, “Peter, there is barely any crime here anyways. I bet you any comic you want in my collection that nothing will happen tonight. You can take a sick day.”

Peter sighed, coughing into his fist, “Yeah, I guess so. Well, if anything does happen, my sick day is over and I get the Death of Superman, yeah?”

Ned chuckled, “Sure.”

They walked in silence for a while, to Peter’s relief. He was glad he had someone like Ned who knew him well, he knew that Peter had a headache and needed some much needed silence. The rambunctious High School certainly didn’t do that for him.

The two best friends kept walking until they met a point where two roads diverged into different blocks. The point that separated them from their usual walk home. Ned turned over and moved to the right, and gave Peter a gentle smile, “Get better soon, Peter.”

Peter managed a weak smile back and moved left, and continued the trek up to his apartment block where he collapsed into his bed the moment he stepped into his room.

A few hours later Peter woke up to a splitting headache. He groaned, his hand shooting up to his head as he tried to soothe it.

He craved for some aspirin, and medicine to cool down this raging fever. His body felt as if it was being pinned down by a huge mound of rocks, and there was nothing he could do to lift himself off of his bed. He forced his heavy body out of bed, feeling weak to the bones.

Peter sighed and staggered out of his bedroom, to find a post it on his bedroom door that he didn’t notice when he had gotten home.

It read, “Im working late tonight, there’s money on the coffee table for dinner. I larb you! :)”

Peter smiled fondly, and tried to make it to the bathroom as quick as he could so he could find some medicine. Once he managed to get there, he pulled open the cupboard to find nothing but empty packets and medicine boxes.

Peter frowned, sighing. He figured that he would just tough it out for now, but once another surge of pain shot up his head that his body shuddered violently, he knew he needed medicine. He sighed, he needed to buy dinner anyway.

He threw on a coat and a scarf, and his backpack so he could carry his dinner, and quickly grabbed at the money Aunt May had left on the table and staggered out of his apartment, heading out onto the streets.

The cashier frowned worriedly as she scanned Peter’s medicine, as well as a can of soup and OJ. She bagged the products, eyes still lingering on an obviously sick Peter.

“Uh..you okay kid?” She asked worriedly, a little awkwardly.

Peter sniffled, looking up at her with bleary eyes and tried to register what she was saying. He felt extremely drowsy and sluggish, his brain not computing as fast as it normally did.

“..huh..Oh, yeah, I’m okay.”

She nodded worriedly, and took his money and gave him his change. She cleared her throat, “Alright, well, look after yourself, okay?”

Peter managed a weak smile and took his bag of groceries. He quickly stuffed it into his backpack and left the store. He was silent as he left, pulling his jacket closer against himself to try and insulate his body heat. It was a still night and it wasn’t hot or cold, but Peter felt as if it was the dead of winter.

As he was about to turn back to his block, a faint ringing began in his ears.

He felt a weird sensation, suddenly very awake and alarmed. The ringing increased in volume, and then he could hear it. He could hear some sort of ruckus coming from a few blocks away. His senses were heightening. He felt this magnetic urge, a strong desire boiling in his blood. It was drawing him to the only conclusion he could act upon. He had to do something, despite how awful he was feeling. It was his duty.

“Ned owes me a comic,” Peter muttered under his breath as he sprinted towards the alleyway, his head pounding, as he unzipped his backpack to retrieve his suit.

“Why are you doing this?! Who are you?! Please, just take my money!” A middle-aged man cried out, squirming beneath a much larger mans grasp, kicking desperately in an attempt to escape. Tears streamed down his face, nose bleeding and bruises shadowing his skin.

The larger man, his head oddly disfigured and enlarged, his skull misshapen and wide, snarled at him, spitting on him, his fist balling up the man’s shirt viciously, “It doesn’t matter who I am, It doesn’t matter who you are and why I’m doing this, I have orders and that is it. You are going to die, and that is all that matters.”

“Please don’t, I have a family,” The man begged tearfully, his body trembling violently in fear.

“Family ain’t jack shit,” The large man snarled, a slight twinge of a Russian accent coming through. He pulled the gun out of his pocket and raised it to his victim’s head. His fingers grazed the trigger and suddenly a flash of red knocked the weapon out of his hand. The gun flung across the alleyway, far out of his reach.

“What?!” He exclaimed in confusion, bewildered. When he looked up, he was greeted to see the Spiderman.

“You don’t turn your back on family,” Peter said in a mock Vin Diesel voice.

“Who the fuck is this punk ass kid?!” The man hissed.

“Hey! That isn’t very nice, Hammerhead!” Peter shot back, shooting a web-slinger over to a wall, swinging towards the large man and kicking him in the head.

“Go, go!” Peter yelled at the victim, to which he met his eyes which were flooding with so much gratitude and relief. The man sprinted, running as fast as he could, away from it all.

He watched as the victim ran off, a sense of relief in his system. He felt his body begin to settle down, relaxing, his body feeling a bit weaker and fainter. The adrenaline seemed to be fading, and his fever coming back rapidly and spreading.

Before Peter could think much of this, Hammerhead punched him, and Peter hissed as a sharp pain shot up his face, already feeling his eye begin to bruise up.

Before Peter could retaliate, he was being shoved towards the hard cold gravel. His brain was moving too slow, his senses horribly impaired and he couldn’t fight to the standard he was used to. The sharp little clints of the gravel digging into his spine, scratching at his skin. Peter groaned in pain, trying to pick himself off of the ground but found that his dangerously fevered body was too heavy to pick up.

Hammerhead yanked Peter up by the scruff, causing him to feel extremely woozy and dizzy by the sudden, jerking movement. His head throbbed painfully, stabbing at his brains as sharp pains shot up his head. He whimpered, a strangled sob escaping him in pain as Hammerhead punched him repeatedly, and dropping him onto the floor again.

Peter managed to stand up, his legs wobbly and shaking. The world spun rapidly, seeing double, and a sharp rush of pain flooded his senses and he gasped, collapsing on the floor. His body felt like it was on fire, as he gasped for air and clenched his teeth to try and withstand the  overwhelming amount of pain he felt. He let out a scream of anguish as he felt warm liquid soaking his suit. He could taste the salty, metallic liquid in his mouth.

Just as he tried to stand again, he was thrust upward and Hammerhead head butted him with what felt like a wrecking ball. He was thrown across the alleyway, head hitting against the concrete wall. Peter tried to scream again, and he wasn’t sure if he was loud enough, because he couldn’t hear anything. His limp body slid down the wall, dropping against the concrete with a sickening thud as his vision went dark.

“Mr Stark, would you like a report on Mr Parkers vitals?”

Tony raised an eyebrow, continuing to tweak at a piece of tech, fully immersed in his work and unavailable.

“Yeah, sure,” He said absentmindedly.

“Mr Parker has a fever of 103.6 degrees and has several bruises, is bleeding from numerous cuts and is currently passed out from a concussion.”

Tony’s heart sank. It was like time had ceased to exist as he froze, his body malfunctioning.

“FRIDAY, please tell me the location of Mr Parker,” Tony breathed out shakily, trying to stay composed as his blood ran cold.

“The coordinates have been sent to your suit, sir. He is still in Queens.”

Tony finally regained his senses and ran towards his suit, quickly donning it and was flying out of Stark Tower and towards Queens as fast as his suit could take him.

“Where are you, where are you,” Tony hissed to himself frustratedly, feeling his heart beat loudly and rapidly. He scanned the area and followed the coordinates given to him.

Soon enough, he was brought to a shady looking alleyway where he quickly landed. Tony ran down the alleyway to find Peter sprawled across the floor, unconscious, and bleeding.

“Shit!” Tony cursed, his chest growing heavy with fear as he ran towards his limp body. He scooped him into his arms and cradled him. He quickly ripped off his mask and gasped at the sight of the bleeding, sickly boy. Just a boy, not a fierce, immortal superhero. Tony saw so much of himself in this kid it sent shivers down his spine.

He was scarily white, bruises dotting his face. He was so weak and limp, Tony feared he was too late. Catastrophic thoughts clouded his mind for a while as his breathing picked up as he frantically felt his forehead, which was scorching hot. He felt for a pulse, and was relieved when he found one, but was still incredibly frightened.

“Oh my god, Peter, Peter, oh god, please be okay,” Tony whispered tearfully, running a hand through Peter’s damp locks in fear that if he were to let him go he would lose him forever.

“FRIDAY, please do a scan,” He choked nervously.

“Mr.Parker requires immediate and extensive care. I have contacted Dr.Sanchez over to the Stark Tower to see to the damage. But, if you complete these tasks Mr Parker should make a steady, albeit slow recovery.”

Tony let out a relieved sigh, but still couldn’t help the guilt pitting and gnawing at his stomach.

Peter was just a kid and he did this to him.

Tony brought him into this horrible world. Peter should be a kid, he should be a kid who went to high school and rested on his sick day. He shouldn’t be fighting crime. Peter was here because of him. He had brought him into this world and he couldn’t take him out of it. He trapped him.

Tony stood up, shakily, but had never held anyone so steadily in his life. He cradled Peter in his arms and took off into flight, trying to speed back to Stark Tower as fast as he could. His heart seemed to be racing against time, racing back home so Peter could be safe.

“Mr Stark..?” Peter stirred, eyes still closed.

“Don’t open your eyes. You need rest,” Tony said shakily. Below them seemed to be the entire world, and the world wasn’t always kind. Peter had a taste of that today, and Tony didn’t want him to look down in fear that if Peter looked down, he’d be lost and overwhelmed in the realisation that the world was so big.

That there was so much more bad out there than either of them could ever imagine.

Peter woke up to a dull ache spread across his body, and a headache booming in his temples. He groaned in pain, lifting a hand to rub his eyes when pain shot up his face as he hissed and withdrew his hand quickly. His eye was most certainly bruised.

He cracked his eyes open tiredly, still feeling feverish and was alarmed to see daylight streaming from the window. His eyes widened and he shot up, looking around at his familiar surroundings and gasping as he realised where he was.

Tony opened the door, his face lighting up as he saw the boy awake. He tried to mask the relief and joy he was feeling, but Peter saw through it.

“You’re alive,” Tony observed.

“Mr Stark–my aunt, the–”

“I called her last night. I had to talk her out of trying to come over here last night. She was really worried,” Tony explained.

He sighed, “I was really worried, Pete.”

Peter shook his head, “Mr Stark, that bad guy got away, we need to–”

“Absolutely not!” Tony hissed.

Peter fell silent.

Tony sighed, sitting down at the edge of the bed and pinching the bridge of his nose, “I’m sorry. I thought I lost you last night, Pete. I’m not sure if this is safe for you, you are just a kid.”

Tears pricked Peter’s eyes as he crossed his arms angrily, “Do you not believe in me, Mr Stark?! I try so hard, all the time! I just want to do the right thing! You can’t just take this away from me!”

Tony widened his eyes, “That’s not what I meant by that, Peter. You’re extraordinary, but you don’t deserve this. You deserve to be safe, I thrust you into this situation to your doom! You’re hurt, look at you, Pete! This wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t given you that damn suit!”

“I had a suit before this one, Mr Stark! I would still be doing the same thing, with or without you! You gave me a cool suit that helped me along, but you didn’t do this to me. This was my choice, I stand by it!”

Tony let out a shaky sigh, “I’m sorry, Pete..I just..thought I had killed you last night. I couldn’t bare the thought..”

Peter softened, “Fighting evil is much bigger than me. It’s bigger than you. You know that, don’t you, Mr Stark? You know sacrifices are going to have to be made for the greater good. You were my hero growing up, still are, you’ve made sacrifices before. In the grand scheme of things, this is nothing. It’s just the small price we have to pay for something much greater.”

Tony stared at him with a mixture of fear, sorrow, guilt, but also acceptance. He managed a weak smile.

“Then I’ll join you. That way, we can help more people, even if that means one of us might get hurt along the way. We’ll be stronger together,” Tony said firmly.

Peter smiled at him brightly, like he hailed from the sun.

Tony sighed and inched closer to him, pulling Peter in for a warm hug, rubbing his back lovingly, holding him close. He felt a feeling of love in his heart for Peter who felt like a son, and it felt so nice and warm.

He let out a shaky breath, letting himself smile, “You’re a great kid, Peter. You’re really going to make the world turn and put stars in people’s lives. You are going to be great, and I am lucky to be in a world with someone like you.”

[butter-butta-blog]

Shinwon Take Care of Me

“Beep, beep, beep, beep” your alarm clock blared at 6:00 in the morning.

“Ugh it's time for school” you say to yourself groggily. You sat up in your bar and cupped your face in your hands and let out a deep sigh.

“Y/N, get up! You're going to be late” your mom calls for you.

You drudge out of bed walk toward your closet and throw on your school's dingy uniform and wobble your way downstairs to eat your breakfast.

“You only have 30 minutes till school starts you should go” your mom says loudly.

“Okay, okay” you say weakly.

You thought you were just super tired that morning, so you left the house and started walking to the bus stop. As you were waiting for the bus, you started to cough a little and felt a rush cold go down your spine. 

“Oh shit I think I'm sick” you said under your breath while frantically putting your hand on your forehead.

You debated whether or not to just turn around and go home or go to school. You decided to power through because you didn't think it was that bad. As you were walking into the school building you ran into Mr. Shinwon. He was a world language teacher for Korean, he was definitely the most talked about teacher at school. Mr shinwon was super tall, with broad shoulders, and smoldering smile:)

“Y/N hey good morning how are you doing” he said to you kindly.

“I'm fine” you bark back.

“Why did I say it like that, he didn’t do anything wrong. Ugh my head hurts!” You yell at yourself under your breath.

You quickly walk away from Mr. Shinwon and begin climbing the stairs to your first period. Until you start to feel a bit dizzy and you wobble on the steps. You feel a hand touch your back and voice

“Are you sure you're alright” Shinwon says with an urgent tone.

“No, no I'm fine I'm just a little under the weather. No big deal” you reassure him.

Mr shinwon helps you up the rest of the stairs by carefully placing his hand on your back and guiding you up the steps.

“If you still feel sick go to the nurse okay?” He says smiling at you. Of course you quickly comply and scutter away. You felt your cheeks get hot and your body starting to tingle a little.

“Ugh Mr. Shinwon is so nice and handsome. He's making my fever worse.” you exclaim to yourself.

For the rest of the morning, classes were alright you drank lots of water and tried to stay awake. During lunch time you couldn't take it anymore; the cold sweats, the coughing, and the headaches. So you went to the nurse, when you walked inside you saw Mr. Shinwon searching through the cabinets, you quickly sped past him and laid in the bed in the back of the room.

Suddenly you started to have a coughing fit drawing all attention on you. Mr.Shinwon turned towards you and said

“Oh, Y/N I was just about to bring this cold medicine to you.”he said both shyly and happily.

You blushed at this gesture and laid down. As Mr. Shinwon began preparing other remedies. He walked over with a blanket for you to sleep with, and got you a cold towel and wiped the sweat of out you face, he also brought you water to wash the medicine down with. Mr. Shinwon started to pet your head and looked down at you while saying “I hope you feel better, I have to go now, but I'll check up on you later.”

When you woke up it was dark outside, you started to panick and sat up really fast, you looked around and saw at the foot of your bed was Mr Shinwon asleep. “Why is he here, why is he asleep?” You whisper to yourself. You began to push the covers off yourself when suddenly Mr Shinwon starts rustling and finally wakes up and looks at you.

“Y/N how are you feeling? I'm sorry I fell asleep I was waiting for you to wake up, but then I guess I got tired and I fell asleep haha.” He explained to you.

Shinwon walked over to you and put his hand on your forehead and said

“Feels like your temperature has gone down”

“Uh Mr. Shinwon why are you being so nice to me.” You asked looking him in the eyes.

He just chuckles and says “because you’re are my student of course. Plus you really looked like you were struggling today.” He says as he brings you a cold wash cloth. Mr. Shinwon walks over to you and gives you a sweet smile, while placing the towel on your forehead.

“Oh wait! I brought you food. Want me to feed you.” He says pulling out a thermos filled with chicken soup. Before you get a chance to answer he has already scooped a large helping of broth and held it in front of your mouth eagerly.

“Here, you eat” he says practically shoving it in your mouth.

You comply and just sit there as Mr. Shinwon continues to feed you soup happily.

“Do you feel strong enough to go home, I can drive you.” Mr. Shinwon says tidying up the thermos.

“Yeah that would be really nice.” You respond.

Mr. Shinwon carefully walks you to the car, making sure you don’t trip or get dizzy and pass out.  Mr.Shinwon opens the door for you, and grabs your things. Mr.. Shinwon drives you and helps you out of the car.

“Ya! Y/N take care of yourself” he says to you while waving at you from his car.

Maeve’s note/

Im sorry I’ve been so inactive this was requested awhile ago by @owocrazygirl I’m so sorry It took so long!!! And to other people who have requested I WILL GET YOUR REQUESTS DONE!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m so sorry it might be awhile, but it’ll definitely get it done

[breeeliss]

[Miraculous Ladybug]: Sweet Deliveries

day 1 and already im like an hour late but fuck it what else is new?

first up is all of the week 1 prompts for @thinkoutsidethelovesquare ! im trying to warm up to nathanael as a character and i’ve also been meaning to push out more mlm in this fandom, so consider this me killing two birds with one stone. hope you enjoy~

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Link to Archive of Our Own: [AO3]

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Prompt: Day 1 - “Wrong Number” Pairing: Adrinath (Adrien x Nathanael) Title: Sweet Deliveries Summary: Wrong Number AU in which a sick Nathanael tries to ask Rose for things to help his cold and calls Adrien instead. Adrien, of course, exceeds all expectations.

Sweet Deliveries

“Are you sure you’re going to be fine taking the bus home?”

Rose was standing on her tippy toes, pressing the backs of her hands to Nathanael’s cheeks and forehead, frowning at the heat that was burning her skin. He smiled weakly — wincing against his sore throat — and zipped his sweatshirt all the way up to his chin. “It’s only a fifteen minute ride. I don’t want maman to have to take time off work just to come get me.”

“You’re running a fever you silly!”

“It’s just a tiny one,” Nathanael assured her, even as he began to feel lightheaded the longer he stayed on his feet. “I’ll rest up for the rest of the day and be back at school tomorrow.”

Rose frowned and gently smacked his elbow. “I better not see you in school tomorrow, Nathanael. I’ll march you right home!”

“It’s already so hard to concentrate in class, I don’t want to miss even more by being absent.”

“Maybe if you put that sketchbook of yours down for more than two minutes at a time….”

Nathanael jutted out his bottom lip and stared at her pitifully while Rose rolled her eyes half-heartedly. “Come on, give me your hand.”

“What for?”

She pulled out a pink pen and scribbled some numbers on the back of his hand. “When is your mother going to be home?”

“Late probably,” Nathanael admitted. “Late shift tonight.”

“Alright. I want you to call me when school finishes and let me know if you need anything,” she explained. “I have soup, medicine, tea, and snacks at my house and I can run them over quick. You only live a few blocks from me so it’s no trouble.”

Nathanael smiled softly. “You don’t have to do that, Rose.”

“Oh, let me fret over you a little,” she grinned, tapping him on the nose with the end of her pen. “You were looking so faint in class just now, it puts my mind at ease to lend a hand.”

They walked to the entrance of the school and Rose reached up to pull Nathanael’s hood up so that his ears wouldn’t get cold. He checked his pockets to make sure he had enough for the bus and waved over his shoulder. “Thanks for walking me to the nurse. I appreciate it.”

“Just make sure you come back healthy, okay? Juleka and I will take notes for you!”

Nathanael tucked his hands into the pockets of his sweater and shivered against his fever as he made his way across the street to wait for the bus back home. Luckily his timing was good because he only had to wait a couple of minutes before the mostly empty bus rolled up to the stop and left him with a double seater that he could use to prop his legs up. Usually he liked to use the bus ride home to get some sketching done, but his nose was so stuffed and his body was so hot that he merely rested his bag on his lap and used it as a pillow as he rested the entire ride home.

Mme. Mendeleiev had already sent notes home to his mother about the fact that he was slipping behind in physics because of his lack of attention in class. Nathanael tried to explain that it was more than that — the lessons went by so quickly and it was hard for him to keep his attention on all of the equations and demonstrations without switching to his pencils and sketching across his notes. His mother understood, but he had promised her to bring his grades up and prove himself to his teachers soon. He couldn’t very well do that by missing school, but he supposed that sitting in class with a fever wasn’t going to do anyone good.

When the bus finally reached his stop, Nathanael had gotten up from his seat and felt the dizziness hit him all at once, finally convincing him that maybe he was more sick than he’d thought. It felt like ages before he got to his building, thankful that his apartment was on the first floor of the walk-up.

His mother was on a double shift at the café until dinner, which meant he was on his own as far as taking care of himself, but he hoped that sleeping off the fever would be enough. He walked straight to his room, replaced his jeans with sweatpants, and crawled into his bed, falling asleep the minute his head hit the pillow.

About four hours later, he woke up and felt like complete death. A headache, a worsened sore throat, a persistent fever, and violent chills made him think that maybe Rose was onto something when she mentioned him staying home tomorrow. He checked his cellphone and saw that school had let out about five minutes ago and figured that it might be a good idea to take Rose up on her offer. He didn’t think there was any medicine left in the kitchen and he wasn’t sure if he was up to making himself some warm soup anyway.

Bundling the blankets around him into a warm cocoon, Nathanael copied Rose’s number from his hand into his phone. Her writing was really loopy and hard to make out at spots — was that a 5 or a 6? A 4 or a 9? — but he did his best and got sent to her voicemail.

“Hey Rose,” Nathanael croaked, his voice coming out scratchy and pained. “It’s Nathanael. I think I might need some things after all. Not much! But, uh….if you could pick up some medicine for a fever, some tea, and maybe some soup, I’d really appreciate it. I’ll pay you back for all of it, but I really don’t feel up to getting out of bed at the moment. Take your time! No rush! Uh….thanks.”

Normally he wouldn’t dream of putting anyone out of their way like this, but Nathanael was desperate and alone in his house with a sickness he was convinced was going to keep him bed bound for at least the next twenty four hours, so he tried to reign in the guilty feeling as best he could.

Nathanael turned the television on in his room and watched through some old re-runs of a few cartoons and sitcoms that he liked watching until he heard the doorbell ring. Perfect. That must be Rose. Medicine and soup sounded absolutely heavenly right about now. He wrapped all his blankets around him until he was covered up to his nose, forced himself out of bed, and padded across the apartment to the front door.

Of course the very last person he expected to be standing on his welcome mat was Adrien Agreste.

Nathanael suddenly felt silly showing up to the door with all his blankets tied around him like this.

“A-Adrien?!” Nathanael asked in surprise. “Um….hi? What are you doing here?”

Adrien was standing there as if it was the most natural thing in the world for him to be visiting Nathanael as his home. He lowered the scarf away from his mouth and frowned at the sight of Nathanael. “Aw, buddy, you look awful! Do you have the flu or something?”

Nathanael blinked and looked down at his feet self-consciously. “I’m not sure,” he admitted. “Might just be a nasty cold, or strep throat. Sorry, uh….what are you doing here exactly?”

“Oh, right!” Adrien grinned. He picked up the two shopping bags that were sitting at his feet and thrust them forward. “You mentioned that you needed some things to help with your cold, so I went and picked them up for you!”

“Things?” Nathanael frowned. “Wait, I thought….Rose was going to get that stuff for me. I left her a message. Could she not make it?”

Adrien chuckled. “I think you might’ve typed in her number wrong. You called me.”

Nathanael’s eyes widened. He’d called the wrong number? “Are you sure?”

“I mean, I can play the voicemail for you if you want, but yeah I’m sure,” Adrien laughed.

“Oh, no,” Nathanael groaned, hiding his face in his blankets. “I’m such an idiot, I’m so sorry about that.”

“Don’t even worry about it,” Adrien waved off. “That sort of thing happens all the time. Mind if I come in, by the way? It’s a little chilly out here and I forgot my gloves at home.”

“Y-yeah sure!” Nathanael stumbled, moving aside the umbrella stand to give Adrien room to come inside. “Sorry about that. Maman isn’t home yet so make yourself comfortable I guess.”

Adrien respectfully toed off his shoes to leave by the door and made his way to the kitchen while Nathanael locked the door behind him. He sneezed into his blankets and climbed up on top of one of the chairs in the kitchen while Adrien busily unpacked his shopping bags and organized all of the contents on the table. He stared incredulously at all of the purchases and swallowed to soothe his throat. “What is all this?”

“Well, I wasn’t sure what was wrong with you, so I got a little bit of everything? I hope you don’t mind.” Adrien folded up the bags and left them on the countertop while he pointed at each thing left on the table. “So here’s some ibuprofen for your fever. I also grabbed some cold medicine — drowsy and non-drowsy because I wasn’t sure which one you liked best. I got you some ginger tea and honey too in case your throat is feeling a little bad. I went to the café near my house and picked up some chicken soup for you too. There’s two servings here so that you’ll have some leftover to heat up later.”

Nathanael felt himself gaping. “Wait just a min—”

“I grabbed some bananas and apples since maman always gave those to me when I was sick to snack on. But I know that’s boring so I also had Marinette pack me some chocolate croissants for you to eat when you get better. I also grabbed all of the books from your locker that you’d need for our homework — sorry I hope that wasn’t weird or anything — oh, and I also made copies of my notes in the library real quick so that you wouldn’t miss anything.” He stepped back from the table with a proud grin stretching the apples of his cheeks as high as they would go and clasped his hands behind his back. “Yeah! So, uh….hope that’s everything you needed.”

Nathanael twisted around the tins of tea that Adrien had bought him and gaped at the expensive brand written across the side. “You didn’t have to go and get all this!”

“I mean, I couldn’t find Rose after school, and you sounded so miserable over the phone when you left that message, I couldn’t just ignore it,” Adrien replied. “It was the least I could do, honest.”

“I don’t know how to pay you back for all of this though.”

“Is that what you’re worried about?” Adrien frowned. “Don’t even worry about that, paying for all of this stuff was nothing.” He blinked at the wording. “Er, sorry. That sounded a little elitist, didn’t it? I just meant that I was happy to help you out and get this stuff for you. You honestly don’t have to worry about paying me back.”

“But you went through all the trouble.”

“It wasn’t trouble in the least,” Adrien said. “I’m always eager to help a friend.”

Nathanael couldn’t tell if he coughed in surprise or whether he had to add cough to his list of symptoms. “Friend?”

“Of course. How could I just leave you suffering here like this?”

To be fair, when Adrien put it like that, it seemed like the only option was for him to come over with probably one of the biggest care packages Nathanael had ever received in his life. But he was sure that anyone else would’ve just called back and told him he had the wrong number so that he could figure out where he went wrong dialing Rose. To actually go out to stores, cafés, and bakeries for him — especially when Adrien and Nathanael didn’t really talk all that much — seemed so baffling and so touching that Nathanael didn’t quite know what he was supposed to do or say.

“I….thank you,” he finally said. “This is way more than I ever expected anyone to do for me. I really appreciate it.”

Adrien took off his scarf and jacket and hung it over the backs of one of the kitchen chairs. “Want me to make some tea and heat up the soup for you? My Chinese lessons don’t start for another half hour so I can hang around for a short bit.”

“Oh, you don’t have to….” Nathanael trailed off, because it seemed like Adrien didn’t mean for what he said to be posed as an actual question. He was already looking through the dishwasher for a clean kettle and filling it with water from the sink.

Figuring that there was no sense in arguing with Adrien at this point — he was already in his house and it was hard to stare at that sunny smile of his and dare to tell him no — Nathanael pulled his knees up to his chest and pointed out where the pots and mugs were.

It was almost endearing to see Adrien move around the kitchen. It didn’t seem like he spent much time in the kitchen himself — he struggled turning on the stovetop burners and he burned his finger on the handle of the pot when he went to stir the soup — but he was whistling while he moved around and kept asking Nathanael questions about the history project they had to turn in next week and what he got on their last visual arts assignment. They never really spent time talking much during class, but Adrien was a very simple, honest person. It didn’t take much effort to share a space with him. He brought up easy topics, and when Nathanael didn’t feel like talking he took the silence with ease. Nathanael had a smile on his face right up until Adrien brought his tea, soup, and medicine over on a tray.

“Do you like any sugar or milk in your tea?” Adrien asked.

“No just honey’s fine.”

Adrien carefully stirred in a spoonful of honey, slid the tray in front of Nathanael, and sat in the chair across from him. “Take the medicine first, you look like you’re about to pass out.”

Nathanael sighed and made a show of picking up the bottle of ibuprofen and shaking out two pills. “It’s probably one of those twenty four hour things. I’ll be fine for tomorrow.”

Adrien leaned his cheek against his hand. “Are you sure? I think you should stay home tomorrow. I’ll bring all your notes and homework again if you want.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that, but thanks for the thought,” Nathanael smiled, and gosh he realized he’d been smiling ever since Adrien started boiling water for his tea. “I just hate missing school, you know?”

“Yeah, I understand,” Adrien laughed. “I came into school one day with a chest cold because I didn’t want to miss school and Nino all but pulled me by my ear to the nurse’s office halfway through our first class.”

“I remember that. He kept scolding you for the rest of the school day.”

“Yeah, that sounds a lot like Nino,” Adrien grumbled. “He gave me a lecture about not infecting the rest of the class with my sick. I didn’t think of that. But, I dunno, I guess when you’ve been homeschooled for most of your life you don’t want to miss out on actual school, you know? Where you get to walk to classes and have lockers and sit next to your friends and stuff.”

Nathanael didn’t much see what the big deal was about walking and lockers, and sitting next to friends wasn’t really why he prioritized coming into school everyday. But Marinette told him during visual arts one day about how Adrien pitched a fit to his father about getting the chance to go to public school after being homeschooled with very little friends before this. Someone as vibrant as Adrien didn’t really seem the type to thrive in a homeschooled setting anyway. Someone who splurged on soup for someone he didn’t really know well needed to be around people.

“I just don’t want to get marked down for any reason,” Nathanael mumbled in between sips of soup. “I already get in trouble for not paying attention in class. I don’t want to make it worse by not being there at all.”

“Do you not like the subjects?”

“It’s not that. It’s just really hard to concentrate sometimes. Especially in physics. Mme. Mendeleiev is always watching me to make sure I’m taking notes, and I try. But sometimes she just talks too quickly and it’s all gobbledygook to me. So I just draw and do other homework and try to catch up at home.”

Adrien pouted his bottom lip. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know physics gave you such a hard time.”

Nathanael shrugged. “I try not to make a big deal about it. It’s my fault anyway.”

“It’s not your fault at all,” Adrien insisted, pointing to Nathanael’s mug of tea to make sure he was drinking it. “I imagine it’s frustrating to try and pay attention in a class when things don’t make sense.”

“I was never much of a math or science person,” Nathanael admitted. “It’s always been like that.”

Adrien’s shoulders were slumped and his face was pulled into a deep frown, making him look more like a kicked puppy to Nathanael than anything else. It was almost strange to think that Adrien would be so upset on his behalf. Even Nathanael didn’t think it was too much of an issue, just inconvenient more than anything else. But suddenly Adrien’s face lit up, and he smacked his hands on the table so hard that he almost made the tea in Nathanael’s mug spill over. “What if I helped you?”

“Huh?”

“I’m really good at physics!” Adrien said excitedly. “Well. I mean. I do well in it. I like it, I mean. Not to brag or anything, God no! Just that I….well, anyway. If you needed help with assignments or with the material I could totally give you a hand.”

Yup, a puppy was definitely a good descriptor for Adrien. Nathanael could almost picture drawing ears and a wagging tail on Adrien right now and being perfectly content with the results. “You don’t know what you’re signing up for,” Nathanael insisted. “Honest. I’m probably hopeless.”

“I’m sure that’s not true,” Adrien waved off. “Look, you don’t have to say anything now. Just think about it. You have my number now. Just text me if you ever need any help. I’ll try to explain it slower than Mme. Mendeleiev does.”

There was no way that Nathanael could brush off that kind of kindness — and Adrien really was pulling out all the stops without even realizing the weight of what it was he was doing — so he nodded and ducked his face down towards his soup. “Alright,” he decided. “I’ll think about it.”

Adrien was only able to stay with Nathanael for a few minutes before he had to leave for his Chinese lessons. It was mostly Adrien talking about something silly that happened with him, Marinette, Alya, and Nino during lunch that afternoon, but Nathanael was fine to just listen and watch Adrien gesticulate through the whole story. Nathanael was slurping the last of his soup and feeling the medicine improve his fever a little bit when Adrien pulled his jacket on again. He stared at Nathanael for a moment looking pensive and unsure, but he shrugged his shoulders and pulled Nathanael into a brief hug.

“For good luck!” Adrien said as he pulled back and helped wrap Nathanael’s blankets around him again. “Let me know if you need anything else okay? I know your mother is coming back soon but still. Just in case.”

“I will,” Nathanael promised. “And….thanks again for all of this. I’m starting to feel a lot better.”

Adrien waved goodbye with both hands as he let himself out and locked the door behind him. Now that the apartment was empty, Nathanael couldn’t help but burst out into laughter, the tight bundle of warmth sitting in his chest the entire time finally unravelling and making him feel a lot less like the sack of garbage he felt like before. He finished up his lunch, shoved everything in the sink, and crawled back into his bed to try and rest off the cold.

He hugged his pillow to his chest and smiled into it before he fell asleep.

Nathanael had been one of the people who’d been in the class the longest, but he was perfectly fine with feeling like he didn’t strongly fit in anywhere.

He and Marinette had been drawing partners since they were six, Nino had been his back row buddy for as long as he can remember, and Kim had always been the one chasing bullies across the park to steal back the colored pencils they’d taken from him. But those young friendships weren’t nearly as deep as some of the others he’d seen. Marinette and Alya were practically inseparable, Kim and Max had more inside jokes than Nathanael even thought was possible, and Nino and Adrien were always huddled together by their desks coming up with secret handshakes and sharing headphones before class.

It never interested him to try and insert himself into those dynamics, and even though Rose insisted that wanting to be friends with people who already had established friend groups wasn’t intrusive in the lease, Nathanael stood by his word. He enjoyed the time he spent keeping to himself, and genuine kindness from his classmates was all he ever asked of anyone.

Of course Adrien Agreste went and took that normal brand of genuine kindness, injected steroids into it, and handed it back to Nathanael in a show of sincerity that he still felt undeserving of.

Adrien was an enigma. Nathanael watched him on first day of school as he did most of their classmates who joined them for the first time. Chloe was hanging off of his arm, he seemed to struggle making friends, and he stumbled around for a bit as he tried to figure out how this public school thing worked. But by his third day, Nino and Adrien were laughing with each other like they’d known the other for years. Everyone came up to his desk in the mornings to say hi not because he was a famous model, but just because he had a kind word and a warm smile for anyone who passed him. He was brilliant, excelled in his classes, did so much after school, and still had time to prove to everyone that there was nothing intimidating or reserved about him.

It was a wonder how someone’s presence could be so assuming and light up a room so brilliantly that people couldn’t help but be attracted to it. Nathanael wanted to chalk it up to natural magnetism, but he was really good at seeing beautiful and precious things in unlikely places and transferring them to all of his sketchpads. Adrien was something special, and Nathanael never thought that he’d be able to see that kind of specialness up close and personal in a way that left Nathanael’s head feel like it was swirling.

But….it was a nice kind of swirling. Sort of like when you spun around in circles for too long and left yourself feeling dizzy at the end of it, but still marveled at the way all the colors around you melded together into something breathtaking. It was overwhelming, but Nathanael wouldn’t necessarily mind more of that kindness.

Which led to Nathanael sitting in his room, thumb hovering over Adrien’s phone number in his cellphone.

His fever was gone, but his sore throat was still bothering him and he still felt generally weak and tired. So he decided to follow Rose and Adrien’s advice and stay home another day, which worked wonders since it meant he had a long weekend ahead of him. But he was looking through the physics homework that Adrien had brought him yesterday, and he kind of wanted to cry.

Adrien had the highest physics scores in the class, and he already offered to help Nathanael study. It seemed silly to say no to the help.

Nathanael took a huge breath, opened his texts, and deleted his message seven times before he sent it.

 nathanael: hey adrien, it’s nathanael! i hope school went well today. are you busy today? i was wondering if i could take you up on your offer to help me with physics? yesterdays homework isn’t making much sense.

 He carded his fingers through his hair, got up from his chair, and practically canon balled into his bed, hiding his head under his pillow.

Why was he nervous ? It wasn’t like Adrien was difficult to talk to or too intimidating to even look at. That couldn’t be even further from the truth, and it was evidenced by the fact that everyone always seemed to be at ease just by being around him. So why did Nathanael feel like his heart was about to burst out of his chest just from asking him for some private study lessons? It didn’t make any sense, but it certainly didn’t stop Nathanael from peeking out from underneath his pillow and waiting for the phone on his desk to illuminate with a new text message.

The moment it vibrated, he leaped out of his bed and unlocked his phone

 adrien: hey nath! are you feeling better? fencing practice was cancelled so i can come visit if you want.

 Visit? Have him come here again? Two days in a row?

 nathanael: oh gosh you really don’t have to if it’s too much trouble. im sure i can figure it out over text

adrien: lol it’s no trouble if im offering :P only if it’s ok with you ofc

nathanael: i mean i am feeling a lot better

nathanael: and i imagine this stuffs easier to explain in person?

adrien: haha so is that a yes? :D

nathanael: i guess so?

adrien: alright cool! i can come over in about an hour if you want. i just have to stop by my house and leave my fencing stuff. do you need notes and homework?

nathanael: actually that’d be amazing thanks

adrien: notes, homework, and your own personal study buddy coming right up! ;)

 Nathanael laughed at the long string of thumbs up emojis that Adrien decided to tag onto the end of the message, and he was almost positive that he didn’t know a single person in the world who could possibly get this excited about sitting down for an entire afternoon just to go over a pile of physics homework. He wondered if it was similar to the way Nathanael wished he could just take French and visual arts classes all day and got excited whenever he saw a nice charcoal set in the store.

When Adrien finally knocked on his door, he was practically bouncing on his toes and holding two boxes of pastries from the Dupain-Cheng bakery with a blinding smile on his face. “Hey!” he greeted. “Wow, you’re looking so much better. It was the soup, wasn’t it? It works wonders, I tell you.” He gently shook the boxes he was holding. “I brought more snacks!”

Nathanael raised a brow. “That’s….a lot of snacks.”

“I said the same thing,” he frowned in thought. “Marinette sort of pushed them on me when she heard I was coming over. She was really adamant about it too.” Adrien cleared his throat and shook his head a little. “Uh, anyway! They’re palmiers and opera cakes. I hope that’s okay? They were on sale.”

“That’s fine,” Nathanael chuckled. Something about Adrien’s enthusiasm was exasperating in a really sweet way. Even though it was a lot, he was sure Adrien didn’t even realize he was doing it. “I’ll get us some water. We can study in my room if you want.”

Nathanael hung up Adrien’s jacket, grabbed some water bottles from the fridge, and led them into his room that he spent most of the morning cleaning. The moment they stepped inside, Adrien immediately dropped his bag on the floor by Nathanael’s bed and sprawled across his carpet, his limbs thrown about as if he were at a close friend’s house. He dug through his things and handed off a folder filled with papers and post-its. “Here’s all the notes and homework assignments for today. Let me know if you can’t read anything.”

“Thanks,” Nathanael said, accepting the folder and breathing a sigh of relief when he saw how little homework there was for this weekend. “So, brutally honest opinion, on a scale of one to ten. How impossible was the homework from yesterday?"

“A 3 max. Not that bad, I promise,” Adrien assured.

“Says the physics nerd.”

“Excuse me, I prefer the term physics connoisseur,” Adrien winked with a smile.

“I guess I’m lucky if I get to borrow your help for a bit.”

“Nah, don’t think of it like that. I think I’m pretty lucky to get to study with you. We don’t hang out much and I’ve always wanted to talk to you more.”

Nathanael’s back straightened up almost immediately and he couldn’t pretend that that didn’t make his heart flutter just a little bit. “Y-You’ve been wanting to talk to me?”

“Yeah,” Adrien said. “For a while actually. I just wasn’t sure how to go up to you and just….ask if you wanted to hang out. I didn’t want to be awkward about it.”

“You? Awkward about making friends?” Nathanael snorted. “You’re so popular! Everyone talks to you.”

“I’ve never really had to make friends before this,” Adrien admitted. “I mean, I was lucky where Nino was concerned. He reached out first, and he’s just the best. But everyone else I guess just came up to me and started being nice, and I only ever knew how to be nice back and just put on a smile, and making friends after that just sort of came naturally. It’s been working so far, but I’m still kinda bad at starting conversations.”

Nathanael furrowed his brows. “I don’t know if I believe that….”

“I’m serious!” Adrien insisted. “You for example! I’ve never known how to talk to you. You always seemed to want to be left alone and I never wanted to bother you.”

“I mean…I’m not really the best at socializing,” Nathanael said. “People sort of already know that so they tend to give me a lot of breathing room so to speak. But….it’s not like I don’t want people to bother me.”

Adrien reached out Nathanael’s hands. “I didn’t mean to offend you! It was just what was going through my head, I wasn’t trying to make assumptions.”

“It’s okay,” Nathanael laughed. “To be fair, I kinda thought you were really unattainable. Like you sort of give off all this positive energy and make it look so easy. I didn’t know how to talk to you .”

“Sounds like we’ve both been wasting a lot of time,” Adrien said. “I’ll admit, that’s kind of why I rushed over here yesterday.”

“Because you didn’t want to waste time?”

“No, because I thought it’d be the perfect chance to talk to you. I mean, it was mainly to help you because you looked miserable yesterday, but it was also just a great chance to get to talk with you. I-I hope that’s not weird or anything.”

Nathanael’s fingers were tangling themselves up in his lap. “No. That’s….actually really refreshing. I don’t think anyone’s ever told me they were that eager to talk to me. It’s not like I take up a lot of space.”

Adrien shrugged. “You don’t have to. I noticed you without you having to do that.”

Nathanael took a shaky breath in and was suddenly heavily aware of Adrien’s hands that were still gently braced around his wrists. He stared at him as if he hadn’t just admitted something that was making Nathanael think terribly indulgent but horribly silly thoughts that he was doing best to keep locked up tight in his head so as not to ruin the moment. Adrien had only been in their class for a few months and it was hard to believe that he’d been wondering how to talk to him of all people. But it was hard not to let his insides melt a little when Adrien smiled at him, and it was then that he realized that maybe this whole physics studying thing was a really bad idea.

He swallowed the lump in his throat and could literally feel the heat radiating off his face. “G-Good to know.”

Adrien must have realized that he was still holding onto him, because he moved back and rubbed his hands on the carpet underneath him. “Right! Yeah! So, physics! Uh….do you have the homework sheets.”

Adrien was a really patient teacher. He was good about letting them take breaks so that they could plan hangman and tic-tac-toe in the corners, and Adrien seemed to get a kick out of the fact that Nathanael was making silly comics of people running away in fear from his physics equations and interacting with all of the diagrams in the problems. It made focusing on the really complicated equations a lot easier, and Adrien was great at explaining everything in a way that was much more simple than what Mme. Mendeleiev liked to rattle off in class. It was the quickest he’d ever gone through his physics homework, and he even felt confident enough to try and do this weekend’s homework without any help. They managed to get through all of the problems together and rewarded themselves with pastries every time they got a problem right. It wasn’t often that Nathanael got to do homework with friends and he didn’t think that he’d ever find himself spread out across his carpet and laughing with Adrien while they stuffed themselves with sweets. It seemed like a strange dream that he didn’t quite know how he entered but wasn’t about to wake himself up from.

When they were finally finished with their physics homework, they were both laying on their backs next to each other, each with a box of pastries sitting on their stomachs, Nathanael allowed his giddiness to give him the courage to speak. “Can I ask you something? And you promise to answer honestly?”

“I’ll do my best.”

“Why did you want to talk to me so bad?”

Adrien kept his eyes on the ceiling and spoke around a mouthful. “I….don’t really know. I had a feeling you were a really interesting person, and I was right. And you just caught my eye I guess.”

“Why though?” Nathanael asked.

Adrien smiled nervously and didn’t turn his head to look at Nathanael. “You’re going to laugh. And I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“Is it bad?”

“No! Not bad!” Adrien promised. “Just….well. I was really excited when you called me by accident. More excited than I thought I’d be. I guess.”

Nathanael moved his box, propped himself up on his elbow, looked down at Adrien. “Why were you excited?”

“I’m serious, you’re going to laugh.”

Nathanael bit his lip. “Try me. I might not laugh.”

Adrien blinked and for the first time looked like he was perfectly planning what he was going to say in his head. “What do you mean you might not? You don’t know what I’m going to say.”

“I don’t,” Nathanael admitted. “I know what I’m hoping you’ll say.”

“What are you hoping I’ll say?”

“I asked first.”

Adrien’s shoulders shook with laughter. “Fair enough.” He sat up from the floor and turned around so that he was facing Nathanael. “Just….promise that if I don’t say what you’re hoping I’ll say we can just go back to making jokes and eating junk food.”

Nathanael really really hoped that wouldn’t be the case. “Promise.”

Adrien took a huge breath and raked his fingers through his head as if to psych himself up. “Well, during the first week or so of school, my driver had forgotten to get used to my schedule and remember that he had to pick me up after school. There was a time where I was just sitting out on the stoop waiting for him to come pick me up and I saw you listening to music, humming to yourself, and sketching in your binder. I don’t know if you remember that.”

Nathanael liked to stick around after school a lot to sketch when he wanted to enjoy the nice weather a bit before going home. “I tend to do that a lot. But keep going.”

“I knew that you were in my class and I sort of remembered your name, but I like I said, I didn’t really know how to go up and talk to you. Plus I didn’t want to bother you.” Adrien stared down in his lap and smiled. “I, uh….well the first thought that popped into my head was that you were really cute.”

Adrien squinted his eyes shut and turned his head away as if preparing himself for a blow, but all Nathanael could do was hope that all of the sudden joy that was rushing from his head all the way down to the tips of his toes wasn’t too obvious. “W-Wait. Do you mean….?”

“Aw, don’t make me say it, it’s embarrassing and I didn’t rehearse,” Adrien groaned.

“So you do mean that!”

“I-I’m not making you uncomfortable, am I?”

Nathanael’s head dropped in relief as he shook his head. “No. No way. Quite the opposite, actually.”

“Wait, really?”

“I’m just as surprised as you are.”

Adrien still looked at Nathanael like he was starstruck. “Wait, there’s no way this is happening….”

“That makes two of us.”

Adrien licked his lips and scooted closer to Nathanael so that their knees were touching. “Can I try something?”

Nathanael nodded. “Uh. Sure. What is it?”

Adrien’s eyes darted down to Nathanael’s lips before dropping back down to his lap out of nerves, and suddenly Nathanael felt as if he were going to faint. Surely that’s not what he meant? This was just the over imaginative parts of Nathanael’s imagination getting away from him and making him anticipate things that weren’t actually coming his way. But Adrien finished surprising him that afternoon by buckling up all the courage inside of him and leaning forward to give Nathanael a sweet, short kiss on his lips, so short that Nathanael only had time to inhale sharply through his nose before it was over and Adrien was keeping his shoulders bunched up to his ears and keeping his eyes turned to the ceiling.

“Sorry,” he whispered out. “I panicked.”

“It’s okay,” Nathanael chuckled. “Do….do you want to try again?”

Adrien scrubbed his hands over his face. “I’m so bad at this.”

Maybe it was because Nathanael thought it was so sweet to see someone as personable as Adrien suddenly look like he wasn’t sure what to do with his hands or where to drop his gaze that Nathanael decided to take Adrien’s hands, lower them away from his face, and try to go something brave for once. He kept his hands around Adrien’s wrists as he leaned in and left a softer, slower kiss on Adrien’s lips, waiting patiently for Adrien to relax and gently open his mouth to kiss him back.

It wasn’t Nathanael’s first kiss, but it was his longest one — long enough for him to pick up little details about Adrien that he hadn’t noticed before. He had long eyelashes, his lips were a little chapped, and his bangs were long enough to tickle Nathanael’s temples when he tilted his head just slightly. He was also a really sweet kisser, one that made his toes curl in his socks and all his sighs come spilling into Adrien’s mouth. He wasn’t sure how long it had lasted, but he was practically counting the seconds that passed the moment Adrien ended the kiss and kept his lips just half an inch away from Nathanael’s, his breathes furling and mixing with his own.

“Man,” Adrien muttered. “Nino is never going to believe me.”

Nathanael couldn’t help it. He laughed with his whole body and felt like there was almost too much happiness running through his body. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to distract us.”

“Please. That was a great distraction.”

Nathanael tilted his head back towards their books. “Should we try and do the rest of it? Aside from the physics.”

Adrien winced. “Ehhh. I mean. It’s Friday. There’s no rush.”

Nathanael smirked. “And I’m guessing you don’t want to head home yet.”

“Kissing is more fun than homework.”

Nathanael blinked and cursed under his breath. “Aw, shoot. I might still be contagious. I’m sorry.”

Adrien shrugged. “Worth it. Besides, if I get sick, I can always leave you a message by accident so you can bring soup to my house.”

Nathanael rolled his eyes when Adrien cupped his cheeks and pulled him in for another kiss. He supposed that after all of this, taking care of Adrien tomorrow when he inevitably got sick would be fair turnabout anyway.

[artblart-blog]

Against the Pelting of the Rain

Summary/Note 1: One shot, Batjokes fic. Honestly, who hasnt done the whole fighting in the rain and being gay about it scene? But like I really needed to write my perception on how the two interact and how it felt. Enjoy, haha.

Like fire, the feeling was almost comforting against the pelting of rain pouring over Gotham if you ignored the skin burn. There was a bite, a grip and then a swipe of tongues. It was far from soft, far from anything you’d read in books about love and passion—this was raw. It was an experience doused with desperation intermingling with sloppy execution. Like everything else they ever did together, their coupling was fierce. Filled with so much hunger for something neither could put a finger on, they found themselves drowning in each other. 

Even this connection, that lasted for maybe about 6 seconds, still spooled out for an eternity for Batman. His mind, cooking within his skull caused him to panic—caused Bruce to panic. He suddenly felt like his suit and skin were both too tight for his own good. Despite the cold air, and the icy rain he felt like he was running a fever. When he blinked his eyes open after the clown pulled away, he couldn’t tell if the droplets crawling down onto his lashes were sweat or rain. It was like they had forgotten where they were and who they were for a moment. The only thing that romance novels hit on the nose about these sort of things is that time stops. Anything indicating the passing of time seems to be taken from you in that very moment. You can’t feel the rain fall anymore, the sound of police sirens wailing somewhere in the distance dies, and the smoke plumes from neighboring buildings freezes. Alarms ring in Bruce’s ears, giving him the most uncomfortable awakening and in that deafening second of silence he had wound up his arm and shoved it into the Joker’s gut to remind himself that time must pass.

There was a thud, and a skid of shoes followed by an explosive bloom of strangled laughter. Both their breathes were strained or shaking from the excitement and audacity of each other. Batman spat first, more because the ever-rising rage coupled with a headache was beginning to scratch at the back of his mind again, “Why did you do that? That isn’t part of the game.”

Another wheezed laughter from the melting face of the other who had doubled back on his heels, and nursing his stomach, “You—You have been getting increasingly more friendly. Letting me…get so close, leaving so many openings…I was merely being experimental. Im thirsty for new content. You wouldn’t want me to start turning into a wet blanket and using the same old watered down jokes, now would you?”

The clown’s face twisted up into another fit of laughter masking the bruised sides, the throbbing gut, the bloody, cracked nose and a bashed head. The high-pitched squeal of pained enjoyment was choked off when Batman went for his throat. It was easy to shove the laughing clown to the ground of the roof they were on, and much easier to hold him there. Using his full weight, Batman barred down on the other man, pressing his palms and fingers firmly down on the trachea. The Joker tried to wrestle out of his grasp to keep the game exciting. He was fierce in his defense, trying to punch and roll his way out from under the masked vigilante but the grip around his throat was firm even with one hand as the other was raised and swung twice to the side of the Joker’s head. The assault sent his thoughts spinning even though he tried to instinctually blink away the dizziness. The dizziness was such an electrifying feeling, he welcomed it with open arms. The distant feeling of nausea that followed made his day. He wanted so bad for the Bat to swing again.

“If you’re going to do it, do it. Choke up on the bat and swing at me baby.”

He couldn’t see it but he knew that Batman had raised one of his fists for a third. With rain pooling at his eyes, he found it hard to concentrate on anything but the immense taste of copper in his mouth and the warm grip at his throat. The Joker knew he was a few steps from death—the Batman knew it to. Joker invited it in with a loving look and pressed himself up to it like a honeymooner who hadn’t seen their lover all day. The grip tightened around his throat with every shift the clown made yet there was no third swing.

“This has gone too far, Joker. We’ve gone too far!”

The Joker would have rolled his eyes if he didn’t feel like rolling them would send them rolling across the floor of the roof they were currently playing on. He reached up blindly to grab at the forearms of his masked crusader and with some persuasion, pressed them inward so they bucked. If Batman wanted to talk, they would talk but the Joker needed a little bit of breathing room. Batman’s gloved hands withdrew but rested at the lapels of his jacket firmly.

“No no no no no, we were meant to do this forever. We are the game. If you live, I live and the game continues. If you die, I die and the game dies.” It was a condescending and light headed tone he used for words he’s said several times before. It was ridiculous that the Batman made the Joker repeat himself. They had been whittling each other down for so long and yet, it still felt like they were at the start.

Batman’s lungs still burned and his stomach folded in on itself. Sweat, blood, rain and…tears were rivers across his face. He was angry, there was no doubt about that but with the Joker, it was more than just anger. He was filled with a nauseous sense of want, and confusion that shouldn’t exsist. The mere mention of the word ‘forever’ made him almost vomit to. He didn’t want to do this forever because it was wrong. Doing this forever meant more pain, and more death for Gotham. And yet, knowing this, the word ‘forever’ seemed like a guiltful dream come true. Chasing and beating the Joker gave Batman, and Bruce Wayne purpose. The person behind the mask wouldn’t have to find a real meaning behind Bruce Wayne. The person behind the mask can live without ever having to become anything else. They were made and remade for this moment again and again.

They stared, not at each other but past each other into one another’s minds, prying to see what the other was thinking before the clown’s smeared face spoke again, “And you decide now that we’ve gone too far? Oh, darling, there are no safe words when you play with me. So play my game or get off.”

The Joker begun to try forcing his way to sit up, but gloved hands pushed him back down hard. Joker’s body shook and he choked on a gob of blood and spit that was wading across his tongue. That, Joker liked. A giggle sprung from his lungs and he ran excited hands over the fistfuls of fingers and lapel that were on his chest bruising the skin on his heart. Batman’s chest burned like he was swallowing smoke; he was holding his breath this whole time. He couldn’t stand his laugh and just hearing it made his soul want to disappear. He put fingers to Joker’s mouth, roughly trying to squeeze it closed and making every movement painful for the clown.

“Atta boy. You had me scared for a minute that I’d actually have to go and kill you.” He managed through menacing giggles and a stifling hand.

“I’d never give up. The only reason I haven’t killed you yet is because I refuse to let you win. You deserve to be brought down by the very people you despise. There’s nothing more I’d like than to watch you lose because you’re wrong. You’re wrong about everything. About me, about you and about Gotham.” Batman was more trying to convince himself that the Joker was wrong. He had to be wrong. There was no other option.

He was leaning in close so the Joker could see him. He leaned in far so there was no one and nothing that could pry the Joker’s attention away from him. The rain no longer poured onto the madman’s face—he blinked with clarity now that the water wasn’t in his eyes. That’s when the Joker saw it; he saw the boiling rage and passion in the other’s eyes. Oh.

Its irresistible. It happened again for the second time that night; like fire, almost comforting against the pelting of the rain.

Note 2: Batjokes fanfic. Im dipping my feet into the water of making content for the Batman fandom–honestly, Im still very new to the fandom but Im very passionate about the comics and started collecting iconic issues, watching all the movies and getting every ounce of content that I can. I wanted to quickly thank @melamungous because they inspired me a great deal, and was very very helpful in introducing me to a lot of brilliant writers. I really did appreciate your help. And im sorry if the writing is weird or theres mistakes; i just couldnt bare to look at this fic anymore. ; o ; 

[theluckyjourney]

Kulani

It was ASEAN week and that meant no work for me. I savored those free days and spent most of the time resting and in bed. However, I kept tossing and turning as I really can't find a good position for sleep. Slowly, I developed pain in my neck which went away when I would put Moringa or Salonpas on those sore spots. But my neck on both sides, just under my ears still felt sore after the week was almost up. I thought a long shower would help but didn't. The pain kept nagging me even as I attended Joana and Genesis' wedding (Nov. 17), up to reception time. It was worse the next day as I lectured for my law class in Succession. After class, I decided to go to Nanay Inday to have my neck massaged and she said I had kulani (swelling lymph nodes) in both sides of my neck. She gave oregano leaves to place on my neck and advised me to sleep.

Brian and I went home and immediately tried to rest with no avail. As soon as I put my head on the pillow, whatever position, it hurt so badly. Brian got so tired of me complaining. It was then that I decided to text my doctor, Dra. Yarcia, 'Hi dra! Im experiencing neck pain and swelling (both sides po). Parang kulani. Cant sleep well. Kaya sumasakit din ulo, likod ko at joints. What can i do po?' She replied back and asked for my blood pressure and if I have fever. I said I had no fever and I don't know my BP. She told me to take Paracetamol. I told Brian to buy me Paracetamol and somehow find a way to have my BP checked. He was still annoyed at me somehow, as he himself was not feeling well too...and he had to take care of me still. He also questioned the need for meds, as he feels that it may affect the baby. I was so disappointed at him, all I can do was cry. I took care of him while he was not feeling well and expected that he would do the same for me. I was in pain and yes, I was complaining a lot...I was short-tempered and bratty. Brian just lost his temper and hated it whenever I cry, so he left. Knowing he was just blowing off some steam - I stayed in bed still uncomfortable as ever from neck to my belly - just crying myself into a stupor. Brian came back later with the meds and bbq burger from Burger Machine which he knows I like and some Yakult, as a way of an apology. The pain alleviated somehow and by some miracle, was able to go to sleep. Brian had to leave again to attend worship service and perform his church duties. He came back around 10pm and found me somehow looking a lot better. We both thought the worse was over. I thought so myself and was relieved that I won't be missing the worship service and my choir duties early the next day. At that point, I was wearing socks and layers of clothes under a thick blanket. As Brian got ready for bed, I told him to turn both the aircon and electric fan on and one by one shed my socks, some of my clothes and my blanket off. I was feeling a bit sticky and sweaty with all the layers of clothes I was wearing. Feeling a lot cooler, I fell asleep again.

And then, I felt a chill along my spine, coldness creeping from the soles of my feet and then to my back and all over. I cried out to Brian, who woke up immediately and found me having a fever and at the same time having the chills. He turned off the fan and aircon, and put back my socks, clothes and blanket on, while scolding me for removing them. For me, it was a terrifying feeling as I felt the chills over and over, and I was crying. I remembered how I was in a fetal position, years ago, naked on an operating table and an anaesthesia needle being injected onto my spine...and yes the chilling effect thereafter. I was reliving that moment over and over and the chills still did not stop. Brian lied on the bed facing my back side, trying his hardest to warm me up, but to no avail. He asked me what I wanted him to do and I said repeatedly to him, 'ampo, ampo, ampo' (Cebuano for pray). In our curled position, he started to pray (in Ilonggo) to our Amay, long and hard, both us crying, terrified for me and our baby in my belly.

The chills eventually subsided, but I was still hot as ever. Brian told me he was admitting me to the hospital, but I refused. I was adamant, going to the hospital meant I won't be able to attend the worship service and serve in the choir. He said I was not fit to be in the choir that day but I persuaded him, saying that I just need to rest again, there was still time for my fever to break and I'll feel better just in time for worship service. Brian had to leave me again. He had no choice, he had a cater order that day and had to go to the market. So he left again, promised to be back soon. While he was away, I tried to go back to sleep but was unable to, my head felt like it was splitting open and I was very hot. Trying to think of something else, I concentrated on Lucky. For hours, I was thinking about myself and forgot about my baby. I talked to him/her, asking how he/she was feeling. I told Lucky I was so sorry, despite getting the flu vaccine shot early on my pregnancy, I didn't take care of myself well enough to avoid getting sick. I concentrated on feeling my baby kick or move. I even intentionally rolled onto my stomach, but I can't feel my baby. Then I remembered what my doctor said about fetal movements, about getting sick while pregnant...and I started to worry because Lucky was not reacting. When Brian came back, I told him I can't feel the baby moving. He assured me that Bitok was still sleeping, but I was still uneasy. It was then that I decided to go to the hospital. We texted Dr. Yarcia about the fever and the chills. She replied and said CBC and urinalysis is needed. She also advised for my hospital admission. So, to New Era Hospital we went.

While at the emergency room, I told the ER doctor that I can't feel my baby. So the nurse tried to hear the baby's heartbeat but can't seem to find it. The ER doctor tried herself, but to no avail. I started to cry again, I feared the worst. But Brian tried to comfort me saying not to worry, he felt that those two personnel didn't know how to use the fetal doppler. We heard a heartbeat but I felt it was not Lucky's. True enough, what we heard was my heartbeat and not of the baby's. They took blood and urine sample, and soon enough was admitted to a private room. Brian texted my Mommy and Kuya. He needed someone to be with me while he attended to our catering business. I told him I need Jeaña, my sister-in-law, Kuya's wife who is a nurse. Hour after hour, a nurse would come in and try to check on the baby's heartbeat but still we can't hear any. I would point at the area Dr. Yarcia would usually position the doppler, but still no heartbeat can be heard. Jeaña and Kuya was there during one of those check, I just cried silently worried, Jeaña consoling me. I prayed again and asked God to forgive me my sins and misgivings. I said that there is really nothing I can do on my own, without His help and mercy. I have full faith that Lucky is His gift to us couple, an answered prayer and I pleaded Him not to forsake me at my time of need and not to punish me because I have sinned. I asked Jesus Christ to mediate and bring to the Father my fervent prayer, just as he did when we asked him to mediate and plea to God to finally bless us our baby. After I prayed, I felt thirsty and hungry. I asked Jeaña to give me some Skyflakes and Yakult. Just moments later, I felt Lucky kick. I remembered where and pointed to the nurse to check for heartbeat there. And there it was - a heartbeat - strong and steady. Another answered prayer.

Results of my CBC showed that I had an infection and needed to be administered with antibiotic thru IV. I still had fever and neck sores, and developed severe headache, colds and cough. I also complained of back pain but was alleviated when they changed the bed foam to a softer one and Brian was able to bring me another pillow from home. In the hospital, I was placed on round the clock check for fever, fetal heartbeat, CBC, and blood sugar. Round the clock, I was given antibiotics, pain reliever, insulin shots and nebulizer medication. I stayed in the hospital for 6 days, longer than I expected, bored to tears - I was not used to staying still and doing nothing. The TV had no cable, I was able to watch all INCTV and NET25 programs, but most of them were replayed. I had no choice but watch Eat Bulaga, Ika-Anim na Utos, Haplos, Wowowin, 24oras up to State of the Nation. The signal was intermittent, so Facebook was out of the question. Even texting I was not able to do. Ate Ping2x, my sister-in-law, Brian's older sister and business partner, stayed with me most of my hospital stay, which was quite a loss and sacrifice for my husband who really needed Ate Ping2x for our business, especially (and unfortunately) for that week was a busy week as they have cater services, party tray orders to attend on top of managing 2 of our store fronts. My poor husband was exhausted that week, clearly lacking sleep and rest. Though I looked forward to his visits when it was his turn to attend to me, while Ate Ping2x performs her duties in the choir, I would usually just give up my bed and have him sleep. He told me that though he tried to sleep at home, sleep evades him because I was not there beside him while he sleeps. It was a good thing that Janerie would come visit every night while I was there, we would talk, she'd give me massages, and for a while I would forget I was bored. I stayed in the hospital longer than I expected, and when I felt much better to take a bath, in preparation for my discharge, my doctors would come visit and say no, not today, maybe tomorrow.

There were things however that I looked forward to while I was in the hospital. First, when the nurse would come with the fetal doppler and I got to hear Lucky's heartbeat, knowing he/she is OK. Second, at 9am, deaconesses and ministers would go to each hospital room to perform the anointing of the oil for the sick. Third, worship services held at the hospital where I get to still sing hymns of praises even while I was sick. Fourth, when Brian would bring in food that I like (I never did like to eat the hospital food). Fifth, when good friends and family came to visit. And lastly, when Dr. Yarcia ordered for an ultrasound.

At that time, we still did not know the sex of our baby. Our past several attempts proved to be futile as our baby resisted showing his/her secret weapon. I counted the hours till my ultrasound appointment. But was delayed for another 24 hours because of miscommunication among the staff. I waited patiently again. There was nothing for me to do but wait, eat, sleep, go to the bathroom, repeat. The time for the ultrasound appointment came and Brian was right on time to accompany me. I know he was just as anxious to know as me. So when the sonologist, poked and prodded I couldn't help but tell her that we still did not know the sex of our baby. She said she can't be certain as my amniotic fluid was too low. But there was a 75% probability that we were going to have a baby girl. A baby girl!! I can see my happiness reflecting in my husband's eyes, though silent (and maybe a little overwhelmed), we're having a girl as our first born child.

Because my amniotic fluid was low, I had to stay in the hospital for another day to ensure that it'd be remedied. My IV drip was adjusted and I had to drink what seems like gallons of water. I still struggled with boredom though, anxious to go home, to go to work and perform in the choir. As we were then preparing for the Year-End Thanksgiving Worship Service, I did not want to miss another choir practice or worship service. I also had my Succession class to attend to, I was adamant not to miss a class day (but I still did, even after days in bed, I was still exhausted upon my eventual discharge). So I begged my doctors to discharge me, and said I'll come visit them as an out-patient instead. Somehow, I was able to persuade them and Friday, after 6 days of hospital admission, I was released.

It was only when I got hold of a copy of my medical certificate that I found out of my diagnosis - sepsis. I have heard of it before and I know it was a serious condition, that could lead to complications like miscarriage and even death. Diabetics are more prone to sepsis. Sepsis can manifest in so many ways, and mine started mysteriously with kulani. Had we not acted the way we did that week, had it not been for God's intervention and had it not been for my amazing doctors, loving husband, family and friends - I will probably be telling you a different story.

But this is the story. Of how lucky and blessed I am still. I will be forever grateful and thankful.

#25weeks #lucky