#im now making memes solely for myself

[seafoamwoman]

how about that odyssey chapter 8 huh

[8k26]

☠︎ ┈•.*⛧ please don’t spam me to get my attention, my activity with replies fluctuates but i’m pretty active with occ. getting spammed just turns me off. either way i can get busy or simply take breaks. i’m usually good at giving updates, i appreciate if you could do the same, but life gets in the way. i’m mentally ill and tired lmao

☠︎ ┈•.*⛧ im half black half salvadorian. 95% of my oc’s are poc and i use their culture in their backstories and personality. i try to be as accurate as possible to ones i’m not familiar with–feel free to correct if i get something wrong, i love learning about cultures!! most of them are in gang/crime related stories, some are demons, i don’t mind putting them in au’s where they’re something completely different, however their personality will stay the same. obviously if you’re racist or don’t like playing poc characters then leave. same goes with any type of bigotry and phobie or ism against people

☠︎ ┈•.*⛧ i only rp on discord, i like playing in servers since they’re the most organized. i only use tumblr to find partners and plot. i don’t do one liners. my bare minimum requirement is 2-3 paragraphs with some good substance. quality over quantity. i don’t mind time skipping to get right to the good parts, it’s a drag pushing through the slow parts of the plot

☠︎ ┈•.*⛧ smut is required for me. i’m a pwp girlie and idc💕 same thing with angst and drama. (doesn’t mean i’m not willing to have some more plot focused rps if you’re not looking for smut heavy ones) i’ll pick a toxic relationship over a happy carefree one every time. give me the most deprived shit–or a relationship with some turmoil that’ll take some time to fix. i even do dead dove themes; all except under 16 and animal abuse. i still have limits when it comes to kinks: no feet, bathroom stuff, any type of baby play, pregnancy/mpreg, omegaverse, forced fem, spitting, and vomit. i go off the kinks my characters have anyways. ofc i still do expect a good story going on with in depth characters, world building, and side characters. i still appreciate moments of fluff. i love yapping about our characters and sending memes and music. trust me i can get very hyperfixated on a ship and will not shut up about ideas i’ve thought about or little moments between them

☠︎ ┈•.*⛧ most of my muses are male, no i will not be your sole male provider to your female muses. i don’t mind playing as your wanted fc’s but don’t demand it, and dont get mad if i don’t wanna play as any of them. i wouldn’t do that to you. i’m not too picky against other’s characters so long as they don’t act like clueless bratty subs. for majorities sake i’ll be using irl fc’s but don’t be afraid to come at me with art of your own or by some other source. i’m an artist myself though i rarely even finish sketches now. keep in mind i like to play as and against hypermasc muses, while i’m more flexible with females. sorry if i sounds really picky, i just know what i like and tryna find ppl who are the same lol

☠︎ ┈•.*⛧ lastly, i may sound serious, i promise i’m not. once you get to know me you’ll see all i do is make jokes and nothing i say is really serious. i love brain dead memes and i’m really stupid. i try not to make things seem like a business transaction. if you don’t wanna be super close with occ then that’s fine too! the main goal is to just have fun with the rp.

[nietr]

it really sucks being a silent hill fan for years and years now... its always sucked being a silent hill stan ever since post golden years (post sh4), our fanbase has been fucked time and time again and unfortunately it has led to some shitty things that have directly effected the overall disposition of the entire community at large extremely negatively and this makes me sad.

first of all, nowadays the community is absolutely toxic. it seems like konami is actually trying their best (for the most part) this time and the community behind silent hill just nitpicks every single tiny little thing. like, i don't think konami could ever in a million years make this community happy no matter what bloober or any other developer would do with any sh1-4 remake. the nitpicks i see people complaining about are just... silly at times. that's not to say some of them aren't valid. there are things i've seen in the trailers i'm not a fan of at all. it's not like im stanning and defending the remake, willing to die on the hill of "it's going to be good no matter what, it's a silent hill 2 remake." It's not like that, it's just that this community is absurdly toxic and salty. and the sad thing is, i get where this vitriol comes from. this community, we have been constantly just thrown under the bus. the IP has had its history of just, absolutely not handled with respect at all and it has sucked, so the community is in this place of, "we're going to be salty no matter or how good it is." it seems like.

look, i'm not a fan of consulting firms being hired for a fucking horror game for 'inclusivity', like what the hell is that? I don't get it myself. But that's not the point. The main contention and memes i'm seeing are solely based on Angela's face rn being a little bit more boxy and not up to par with the absurdly realistic faces of other characters.

Okay, well, it is a trailer and not the final product so seeing all these memes and mockery (as funny as some of them have been), i have a feeling her face will be changed, probably quite a bit, like James' face was. Maybe her character's face was not completely finished, I don't know. But, her face did need the most work. She is supposed to be a teenager and looked like she was ~30 in the original, so I get needing to completely rework how she looks. That being said, her character was always going to look completely different from the original in a reimagining in a game with photorealistic character design. the character design for Angela wasn't always the best out of the lot of all of them, so ofc she needed the most redesign and i'm not even mad... idgi and this is coming from someone whos favorite game of all time is SIlent Hill 2.

It's just, so much of this criticism seems very contrived and it seems like people are just shitting on the small knit-picky bullshit things because its the bandwagon thing to do.

Meanwhile, the first trailer had some problems. This second trailer shows Bloober team willing to listen to the community and tweak the problems people were having with what they saw and I was blown away by some of what I saw...

I'm just willing to have an open mind to all of this, because at the end of the day this WILL be the best Silent Hill installment we've gotten in YEARS, and despite the couple of gripes I personally have with what I've seen so far, I was BLOWN away by this reimagining of Silent Hill 2.

Again, this is coming from someone whos favorite game is Silent Hill 2. I personally think this is an absolute massive undertaking, because at the end of the day, I do believe Sh2 was a literal masterpiece. I think it is a must play game because it is. in my opinion, one of the most profound pieces of modern media, period. So, I'm willing to accept the fact that a remake will NEVER, no matter what, ever live up to being just as good as the original. To me, this is going to be a welcome return, reimagined in the modern age, with far different gameplay and mechanics, so it may not be a masterpiece at the end of the day. (Maybe I'm wrong, I'd love to be proven wrong.). but it will be a very awesome and fun return to my favorite place in the world and from this new trailer and what i've seen, I think this is going to be an awesome time.

I just hope they fix a couple of things. They do need to make Angela look as detailed as other characters, for some reason she doesn't, maybe they're still working on that. They need to get rid of the red "i'm hurt" border, that shit is lame. Some of the physics sometimes look unnatural... Other than that, I'm fucking stoked.

People need to just stop shitting on things to shit on them, and if you've never played Silent Hill 2, and you like horror games, do not wait for this game. The original will always be a masterpiece, something absolutely fucking rare as all hell, and it is absolutely worth playing. There's no reason to NOT play it if you like games.

Like, I don't get these people waiting for the remake, never played the OG games by team silent and then being like "This looks like shit." It's like, it's because you never played the original and I feel like this game really is for the fans... Like, I get it, there's younger people who don't like older games or whatever, and they want modern gameplay but the game was never supposed to be a resident evil clone. the game was never about how good the combat is... so you don't get it. PLAY THE ORIGINAL. The graphics hold up, the story is a mindfuck amazing journey, the atmosphere is mind-blowing, it's not like other PS2 games where it's like if you're a bit younger you'd go "This is too dated, the graphics are too bad and I can't enjoy this." The game is a cinematic masterpiece, it's almost like the most interactive movie ever made at times. I don't know, I just don't get these kids not willing to play the original but waiting for the remake and then also shitting on things about it... half the time it's because they don't get where they're coming from with the source material. this shit isn't supposed to be RE, even though they could be considered video game horror cousins..

there's just all these salty people and I've been livid with Konami for so much and especially with things they've done with this IP, so I get the gripe at times but people just need to stop being SO salty, there are things worth being excited about IMO....

I personally love what I saw this time. I hope the community can rebound from being mostly toxic at times, and this IP finally gets a worthy installment of praise... We shall see.

[eziojensenthe3rd]

Midnight Gaming: Ancient Egyptian Sleep Aid! How to handle your inner and outer demons through healthy sleep habits and overwhelming violence!

Hey all, happy new year and all that jazz. 2024 was only slightly better than 23 and hopefully 2025 ends up being better than how it appears. I suppose since this is the first MG post of the year, I feel its only appropiate to dedicate the news segment to an explanation. And hey in return you'll get 4, thats right, 4 games I had played past midnight during the december break.

So Midnight Gaming is a series born out of a strange coincidence in 2024. One night I played Crime Boss Rockay City and decided to check twitter a bit before heading to bed when news broke of trump having been shot at. I thought it was just an isolated incident and went on my merry way until the next event.

Another day, I played Fallout 76 past midnight, checked socials again and lo and behold, biden caught covid. Ok so 2 times thats happened, nothing to make a big deal of. Mostly just enough to make a doofensmirtz meme out of but surely it wont happen a third time.

Later on another day, I played Divinity Original Sin past midnight, checked socials and wouldnt you know it, biden stepped down and kamala replaced him in the presidential running. So now I have a thrice coincidence where I've played a game past midnight only for some major event to have happened. Hell later after I started this series, I played Deathspank past midnight, right as the stock market crashed. Seems like a good time as any to start a blog series intent on recreating those conditions.

Best way I can describe this series is that of a guy sitting by himself at the corner of a bustling bar, drunkenly rambling to himself about video game media and current events and maybe occasionally says some compelling shit. Thats pretty much it. As for what this series is to me, its mainly a means for me to get back into writing and creating stuff again since I used to do that in my early teens before burning out and just stopping.... so now Im finally trying to get myself back into that with this series, but it also helps push me into playing more games instead of just browsing youtube and social media, try and get into the backlog a bit.

I usually pick a game to play to or past the stroke of midnight, look up any major events or news, mostly gaming related, and then write about them the next day. Thats the gist of this series.

Honestly when it comes to opinion based thinkpieces about video games, theres bound to be a risk of someone getting irate over what I said. Sometimes its entirely my fault and I wouldnt mind the criticism, hell its why I usually ask for feedback at the end of these. But other times.... look, there are people who spend their working days writing articles with clickbait headlines, with paragraphs of what are arguably just expanded hot takes, who collect a paycheck at the end of the end of the week.

I dont get paid to do this, Im doing this solely for the love of the game. So if I say an opinion that you disagree with please understand that I am sorry, it will happen again.

Of course thats assuming anyone reads this....

ANYWAYS GAMES NOW

First up is Nightmare Reaper which is a rougelike fp... get back here. Yeah I get a lot of people might be feeling a bit of roguelike fatigue nowadays but this game is definatly worth checking out, assuming you havent already. Ypu're a mental patient in a asylum, go to sleep and murder your inner demons through various enviroment with any weapons you find in there. The combat feels pretty damn punchy with all the weapons you come across being effective and varied between either melee weapons, conventional firearms, explosives or even just magic.

Alot of the guns do seem to follow the borderlands formula of having different stats depending on the item rarity, with prefixes such as leech chance, reload speed, magazine size and of course the lovely random projectile which changes what your weapon shoots to one of several different projectile types which could either be plasma balls, ice shards, knives or in my case.... vegetables. Most of the time I just get vegetables as the projectile.

Of course you'd need to scour the map to kill every enemy, find every secret and collect every treasure (which can be irritating when you're stuck on a level looking for that crack in the wall hiding a secret) so you can get all the gold bonuses for completing them per level so you can use them to buy upgrades in an upgrade screen that has you play a super mario bros like game to get the upgrades. You use the gold to enter a level, complete the level and you get the upgrade. Its how you're going to unlock the double jump and dash abilities as well as your typical upgrades like max health and ammo counts.

You'll also unlock two other upgrade minigames with their own unique currencies, the topaz game being a pokemon game with pills that act as modifiers with drawbacks and the jade minigame which is a space shooter with the jade being gained from playing the arena gamemode accessed via a different bed. You can thankfully turn the minigames off if you dont want to bother with them and just buy the upgrades outright. Overall good game, made it to the end

So next up is Powerslave Exhumed, a remaster of the saturn/ps1 version of Powerslave that has been released on most consoles. If you didnt know already, there were two versions of Powerslave with the pc version being a build engine boomer shooter while the console version was more akin to a metroidvania with you collecting upgrades and backtracking to earlier levels to get past obstacles you didnt had the right item.

You know a game aint fucking around when it throws an m60 light machine gun as the 2nd weapon you find. Anyways aliens are invading egypt, the spirit of ramses offers some help and guidance as you travel to a number of locations, lighting up bugs, mummies and catgirls as you look around for the next item that lets you progress, as well as any transmitter pieces if you want that good ending.

The nightdive port does work fairly well, though in fairness I havent really played powerslave before so if there were changes or differences, im afraid I wouldnt notice. I can however say that I played this first on the easy skill to gauge the difficulty before bumping it up on hard and it definatly feels like a jump since not only do you face more enemies, there attacks do hurt a bit more. A lot of moments in my session resulted in me having low health, trying to find jars in the hopes they drop health power and of course dealing with the damn mummies who can't seem to decide whether their skull projectiles are homing or not. Sometimes they go forwards into a wall, sometimes they chase me with a bit more efficiency than doot skeletons rockets from doom.

From what I played so far, Its a neat lil game and I like the egypt locales and themes, especially since you dont end up in only desert temples and tombs. Theres some abandoned mines, a swamp, a lava cave zone and of course theres the lands that the aliens terraformed that you can go to near the end. One major complaint though, whoever made it so that the breakable jars can sometimes explode when broken, sending out exploding snakes that can damage or outright kill me when I was needing health or weapon power?

I hope you stub your toe. Anyways next game.

I played Blood West back when it was in early access and enjoyed it for what it offered. The 1st act where you rise as an undead cowboy in a wild west teeming with monsters and cryptids is.... well not really original. There are several other bits of media that cover a weird west kinda vibe, heck there's even a game called that made by ex-arkane devs. But were not gonna critique this on originality, just on what it does and if its fun. And what it does is pretty good and is pretty fun.

For one, stealth is prioritised heavily since a lot of enemies can either close the distance to maul, shoot at you with firearms and spells or a mixture of both and the rusty revolver you find early on wont do much to stop them unless you aim for the head, so you better do your best to sneak past them or find better equipment.... or just whack em up the head with an axe when they aint looking.

Yeah I havent really done a proper melee build in Blood West but you could handle a lot of early game enemies with just a rusty axe and some stealth so you can sneak attack some enemies. Heck if you pick the perk that improves your stealth as well as save up cash to buy the bone knife from the shaman early on, you can sneak around and backstab a good amount of threats like a spy from Team Fortress 2 doing a montage for his texas audience.

Doing a proper melee build would be neat to do since theres a good number of skills that work with it such as improving swing speed and doing more damage along with a berserker skill that lets you get health back with melee kills. Mostly I try to stick with the bow for early game before moving towards the sawn off shotgun and lever action rifle, though I mostly just use melee anyway to save on ammo. Hmmm.... I should actually get around to doing that run huh?

Anyways blood west is good, they have the VA for Garrat from the thief series voicing the cowboy, used to be a guy called Jake "the voice" or whatever but they replaced him with Nick Valentine. Also a dlc released recently for this called dead mans promise that has the Shadowman VA in it. Go play it.

So now, finally, we are at our final game for this 2025 start for Midnight Gaming and its a game I've been playing a lot past midnight, all night in fact. From 2024. Its pokemon sleep.

Given the formula I've settled for this series, sleep is gonna be something I have to balance to make sure I dont burnout again while doing this. So I figured I try to use a sleep app to help with that.... and I have a bit of history with Pokemon given I played a lot of blue on gameboy... I was pretty into pokemon as a kid to be honest. The games, the show, the films, the card game, nearly all of it at the time.

So I decided to go with Pokemon Sleep to try and build a healthy sleep schedule via means of bulking up a snorlax with berries and meals. And sleeping, that too is involved. You basically catch some pokemon by feeding them biscuits before enlisting them into indentured servitude to gather berries and ingredients while you feed them candy to make them stronger and get better helpers in your weekly sleep campaign.

So important thing I found from online reasearch early on was that getting a pokemon with the main skill Energy for Everyone gives them a chance to recover some energy for all your helpers, making them perform better throughout the day. Of course its best if the pokemon has a nature that boosts main skill chance as well as sub skills that boost the chance of an activation or a double activatiob, that way you can proc the skill and keep your "helpers" topped up like a living energy drink.

Igglypuff is a good pokemon to catch early on since they have the skill, evolving takes less resources and every evolution levels the pokemons main skill up by one, meaning getting a pokemon that you can evolve 2 or 3 times means you can level their main skill up a bit. Me though I went with a sylveon since they're apparently good. Though it takes a bit to get one. You need an eevee along with 80 eevee candies and about 150 hours of sleep logged with the eevee you want to level in your party. At the very least, I have them now and they have a good nature thats boosts chance along with chance boosting skills, so they occasionally trigger a double skill activation which raises the teams energy by a lot.

And I named them Astolfo. You might say its because they're both pink and you'd be half right.... buuuutttt its also because they remind me of a can of monster energy, so I named em after a character related to that drink thanks to a.....certain......picture.

If you know, you know.

Biggest complaint about Pokemon Sleep is that I have never gotten to track my sleep at all. The hours were saved but any other information beyond that is gone, an error that says they couldn't track my sleep info so I just get a balanced sleep type each time and left to go my merry way since the sleep points, pokemon attracting and other stuff still works.

Also the diets you feed your weekly snorlax are a bit strange. Theres three categories of recipes you can make that your snorlax will want to eat and only eat for their daily meals. Each week a different snorlax will have a different type so you end up cooking those foods for them. First off, Curries and Stews? Makes sense, you can build a decent diet out of that, I think. Salads? Again fine, pretty healthy though, since your aim is to bulk up your snorlax, there isnt very much calories that you can shove into them to fatten them up. And finally, Desserts and Drinks? Yeah... feed your Snorlax a breakfast of fizzy soda that sounds great and definatly not agonising on an empty stomach. Whats for dinner? A hot cup of milk, fuck you.

Its fine, Poke Sleep is fine. Add me on there so I could mooch candy from you.

So thats that. First post of 2025 and it was a big one. Hopefully I can get back to talking about one game and one bit of news for this series agaib and I hope to continue working on it. I generally want to do something that gets me creating something, while also pushing me to play more games. And if any these posts convince you to play any of the games I talked about, thats cool.

Anyways, thank you all SO much for reading this issue of Midnight Gaming. Feel free to leave feedback or game suggestions and I'll talk you all another time.

Ok you know what, it was this pic here and its comparing the size of the can to his co...

[thebestdefence]

Independent & MUTUALS ONLY MULTIMUSE featuring both canon & original characters from 'Law & Order: Special Victims Unit'.

NON-RP BLOGS & NON-MUTUALS : DO NOT INTERACT WITH WISHLIST AND IN CHARACTER POSTS.

Mun & muses are 21+. WRITTEN BY : Shelley.​ POST BANNER TEMPLATE BY : creationcolor @ devianartart [x]

MUSES (Primary, Secondary, By Request).

Rafael Barba.

Olivia Benson.

Fin Tutuola.

Mike Dodds.

Nick Amaro.

Sarah Thompson (OC).

Reza Saberi (OC).

Mercy Mazani (OC).

MUSE MENU(S) // MEMES // PROMO // PSA // OOC

RULES

(Rules are below the cut).

Muns inspiration can vary from time to time and sometimes she can only get herself to reply to certain threads/asks/muses/muns. This is in no way a reflection of you or your muses & is solely down to mun. Mun cannot force herself to reply to something as it will cause her to lose interest and inspiration in more things. We are all here for fun after all.

FOLLOWING / INTERACTING

This blog is mutuals only.

If they are not following you back, there will not be interactions, sorry. Please respect this.

If there is a mutual follow, then they definitely want to interact with you.

If you do not have a rules page, mun will not follow back.

NON-RP BLOGS & NON MUTUALS : DO NOT INTERACT WITH WISHLIST AND IN CHARACTER POSTS.

DISLIKES / TRIGGERS

Mun will not rp with any comic/animated/game characters unless they use a non-animated FC. There may be some very limited exceptions. But only if mun chooses.

Due to the nature of the 'Law & Order' franchise, there will be triggering content found within. Mun will do their best to tag triggers, but some may still be missed (not intentionally). If something triggers you, or you feel something should be tagged, please let mun know.

Triggers will be tagged ' tw ___ ' & ' ___ tw '.

Though it is not triggering, mun has come to realise that sometimes sending memes whilst giving ideas/prompts on it causes my head to completely block any chance I have of answering the meme. I don't know why this makes it difficult for me, but it does. If we have a developed storyline between our muses, smaller ideas are okay.

Please refrain from sending large amounts of memes/asks from the same meme post. This is something mun used to be okay with but it now becomes quite overwhelming as I try to get through things in my inbox. Two to three at most should be okay, unless we have a fully developed verse/relationship between our muses. Then more is okay.

PHOBIAS

- moths (and to a lesser extent, butterflies).

( if you could tag any pictures of moths & butterflies with tw: moths & tw: butterflies, it would be greatly appreciated. )

'DO NOT INTERACT'

If you have any of these Fandoms, muses or use any of these face claims, please do not follow unless you have tag(s) that I can specifically block. If I go through your muse list and see any of these (and there is no tag i can block), you will be softblocked. I mean no offense to you the mun with these. I have varying reasons for these being here, so I am not comparing some face claims/fandoms to others. Please respect what I have listed to make myself comfortable.

If I am already following you before 7th, September 2024, I will remain following & interacting with you as I am not planning on removing anyone I already follow and I can work around things.

- Wizarding World (Harry Potter, Fantastic Beasts, etc), JKR, Armie Hammer, Amber Heard, Jared Leto, Glee, 'femswapped' muses, kid show characters.

SHIPPING & NSFW

Both Mun & ALL MUSES are 25+.

Please check each muses about page as to what their sexual orientation is.

There will be no smut with any muses or muns below 21.

Please do not assume romantic or sexual relationships between my muses and yours. If you have an idea for any of them, please contact me in an IM or ask. If there has been a canon relationship between the muses, we can discuss in IMs.

There will be nsfw content found within, which will all be tagged with ‘ns.fw’ ( and ns.fwish to a lesser extent). If mun misses something, please let them know so that it can be tagged.

None of the muses will participate in smut immediately with anyone. Mun prefers to have things to develop naturally.

WISHLISTS

If you would like to plot, do a starter or just talk about a wishlist idea I have for one of my muses, you will have to either comment, IM or send an Ask as my anxiety makes it extremely difficult to approach, even for these.

ABOUT MUN

Muns name is Shelley.

She/They.

Mun lives in England.

Both mun & Rafael are 25+.

Mun has a special needs daughter who is autistic with severe learning difficulties. If muns daughter takes her away from Tumblr, please be patient.

Mun is autistic (diagnosed January 2021) & is still learning about what that means for her. Please be patient with them. She also has undiagnosed ADHD.

Mun has a condition called ’hypermobility syndrome’ which affects all ligaments in their body.

[pastballads]

mun meme

𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐔𝐍!

★  NAME:  Luan

★  PRONOUNS: He/Him/Dude/Bro/My guy/etc.

★  BEST EXPERIENCE: I... honestly can't think of any? I've had more bad experiences than good. Maybe I'd say when I finally found my footing with independent OCs with Izren and ended up buddies with Bear and his whole entourage of writing partners. I've joined up on Discord servers with people I write with in the past, but I've never had fun like we do on his server. Plus we play D&D!

★  PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION: Discord is my go-to if you wanna reach me. I use Tumblr IMs too, though with how they're about as functional as a Bethesda game, I often ask if we can move over to DMs.

I've got my Discord tab open 24/7 on both my laptops, plus I have the app on my phone. I lurk a lot. But nine times outta ten, I'm more of a reactive replier, almost always messaging back rather than messaging first.

★  MOST ACTIVE MUSE: Kouki, always. Getting into the mood with him is so stupidly easy. Put on any rock music, think about any series, play a video game, whatever- and there's always something that makes me do that Leo pointing meme and think "Hey, that gives me ideas for that white-haired little gremlin!"

★  EXPERIENCE / HOW MANY YEARS: I've honestly lost track lmao. Ballpark estimate is 11-13 years since I started around 2010 to 2013, with my intro to roleplaying being those ancient Quotev quizzes and the chatroom website Chatzy. If I remember correctly, my first actual RP was either in a Sonic chatroom or a Naruto chatroom. And I've never even watched Naruto- I was going on nothing other than the Fandom Wiki. You could even say that my cringe-worthy OC there was the first iteration of Kouki. Only reason I still remember that chat was one of my writing partners died of some terminal illness. Basically drowned in her own blood.

After that, I moved here to Tumblr. It started with Pokemon blogs... then Steven Universe (where I saw them actively out-toxic the MLP fanbase and drive them out of the fanbase)... then I was the sole Soul Calibur roleplayer... then I made a Skyrim OC based on the Kid Dragonborn mod... then I fell back onto Naruto and joined the fanbase here with more cringy OCs... made my other, still on-going Pokemon blog about eight-ish years ago... joined the JJBA fandom, which was and still is the best fandom I ever joined... then I joined the RWBY fandom... then the BNHA fandom... and now we're here!

★  RP PET PEEVES:

I'm gonna cheat a bit and leave two of Bear's peeves, if only because he completely hits the nail on the head. There's just no better way to put it without rehashing things.

Excessive commentary blogging. Before it was just a lot of dash commentary that had me going 'eh'. But in recent years it's gone past that. I've become disenchanted with blogs that become largely commentary for whatever it is they're doing on Discord. All power to those Discord groups doing what they do! But it reaches a point for me that I don't really see them as indie, and it can feel insurmountable trying to interact with them if you're not entangled with their zig-zagging plotlines.

Blog hoppers. Because for a slow burner and long hauler like myself, they're the most impossible people to write with! Which is a shame, because a lot of the hoppers I come across do seem to have some writing talent to them!

Fandom RP events. When I was younger, I used to love the idea of these big events with their own plotlines and moving parts that anyone could participate in if they wanted to. Galas, holiday parties, festivals- stuff like that.

That lasted until 2018, when I kickstarted Bernadotte's original JJBA blog and brought back my long-running Pokemon blog. In the span of something like 5 months, eight separate RP events happened back-to-back in just the JJBA fandom alone. You can only try to participate and be entirely ignored for so long before it sours your whole outlook.

And I mean entirely. I remember writing twelve different starters that people asked for, responding to numerous open threads and starters, liking many different event starter calls, sending asks- the whole shebang. Not even once did I get anything back. If you enjoy fandom RP events, more power to you. But I've been burned too many times to even want to try.

★   PLOTS OR MEMES: Doesn't matter to me! Either way is great! Back in the day, I relied heavily on memes without any ideas for plot, just sending in whatever sounded like something my muse would say. Basically "Oops! All Memes!" Now? I put more thought into things. Overthink things too.

Receiving memes? I almost always ask if there was a reason or an idea driving my partners to send in that specific thing 'cause you never know, y'know? They usually do. But it really doesn't matter to me if they do or don't. I'm just happy to write with y'all.

★  ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S)?: There's a little bit of me in every one of my muses! An example off the top of my head? Kouki is based on how I was as a kid his age. Corbin was inspired by my high school years, my love for old books and poetry, and my music tastes. My Pokemon OC was straight-up a self-insert when I started that blog. Tino came from my RWBY days and my absolute love for weaponry.

They've all got fragments of me in 'em!

tagged by: @dcviated Thanks bear! tagging: @pluviacuratio, @boomermania, @remunporium, @caestusvulpes, @fctedivided, @monmuses, and anybody else that wants to do it!

[skitskatdacat63]

In true tradition, here are my thoughts on my drawings, because it was in fact: 7 AM

Okay so Fernando I is, as stated, super ostentatious. Why? Because it fits him but also because it's based on the real life guy. In all the paintings I could find of Philip V, in most of them he is wearing at least some kind of armor, and if not, is dressed pretty dramatically imo. And I will not be drawing a full set of armor, but it felt a bit weird to leave it our entirely so. Also historically I do think it's so interesting he was portrayed this way, since he was described as someone who was "only interested in outward decorum and brave only in battle."(again: how fernando coded hahaha)

See! Super dramatic! Also I made this meme that is only comprehensible to me

Seriously, why is he pointing in half of his paintings???? I couldn't find a concrete answer so I will give my personal analysis 😤 I like to think that it's symbolism for how he's always moving forward, like "here's will I go will go next!" ....or the artists just couldn't figure out what to do with his hands, I feel the struggle.

Oh also important to note!! His heels!! I am obsessed with this fashion detail from the time:

Nandopoleon is super important to me, it's why @sweatyflytrap and I became friends in the first place 🥺🥺🥺 so it felt very surreal to draw him because I've been thinking about him for a while. I want to make an actual web weave with quotes lined up with Fernando's career, or stuff comparing their personalities. Or draw him recreating one of the iconic paintings(probably the one with Napeoleon crowning himself emperor, I think it's fitting.) But to draw him in that classic pose, im very happy :)

And as I said already, Hussars are very fun to draw because it is such a general AU. The joy of it is more about figuring out how to incorporate the details of the real life racesuits to the uniform. If I didn't only primarily love to draw Fernando and Seb, i would be like "request a driver for the Hussar AU!" But I don't know how well that would go 😭

Anyways end of post. I think the reason why I've been feeling a lot more creatively driven and passionate is because it's a lot easier to draw so much when you know other people will be interested/want to discuss it with you! I used to have a friend that I would talk a lot about my OCs with, and guess what, back then I drew a lot more of them than I do now. It's not that I need outside validation to draw, I draw plenty for myself, but more that it makes me feel more happy about it, because I know that I'll get to talk about it with other people and see other people's thoughts, rather than just me being the sole participant. As you guys know, I like to talk. A lot. So it's very nice for it not all to be in my head(I am crazy) 😭😭 So thank you to everyone for your continued interest <3 you sustain me 🥺🥺

[giantsreach]

❛  𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐒𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐃 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 — i am so much more than i was. this is what i was meant to be. ❜

𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐀𝐖𝐊𝐄. he had a stare like a templar, drive like a warden, and more skill than sense. and i’ll not say a bad word more than that, because i'm still here and ruddy kings aren't. — and that's because of men like him trying.

⌈ about … full dossier … rules below ⌋

o1. this is an indie, selective, and 18+ carver hawke ( dragon age 2 ) roleplay blog. interactions will be solely for people i am in mutual follows with. i will not be following non-rp blogs or blogs without some form of rules, nor will i interact with gender bends/cis swaps or duplicate muses. i'm unfortunately very opinionated about carver and i'd hate to nitpick another person's interpretation.

o2. before he is hawke’s brother, carver is his own character. i usually follow the decisions i choose for carver. within my main verse, carver is a warden on the friendship route; his templar verse is to be used at my discretion.* 

( *templar muses may assume carver’s templar verse as the default for ease of interaction. ) 

o3. please do not use super small text with me. my eyes are bad with a real gnarly astigmatism. on that note, i know it's extremely popular right now, but i'm not interested in writing with those double- or triple- spacing their posts. i struggle to read it and won't force myself through trying.

o4. if you ask for a starter and i write one for you, please like the post so that i know you’ve seen it. if you don’t, i’ll probably send it to you via im, you’ll say you saw it, i’ll mention my rules and just generally have a lowered opinion of you. same goes for ask memes.

i don’t really care about reblog karma. send memes only if you want replies. i’d rather not waste my time because the common convention is that it’s polite to leave something in someone’s ask box before you reblog. 

o5.  tag your nsfw, ooc, and vagueblogging. don’t follow otherwise. 

i’m a qmoc who’s been in darp for years and i know how this fandom gets about its white male faves and white elves and white mages. uwu i’m tired of white roleplayers co-opting radical language to post uninformed cold takes for a fandom which revolves around some eurocentric fantasyland written largely by and for white audiences. 

tl;dr if you’ve got #magerights in your about but hate vivienne, don’t follow me.

o6.  i am non-exclusive and tentatively multi-ship, but i will likely only with one of any character and prefer mutual ship exclusivity.

more information on ships/shipping here!

o7. if you have triggers that should be tagged, please let me know. the tagging system on this blog boils down to subject tw / cw. i tag the essentials such as nsfw, gore, death, etc. as they occur, if they do at all. 

o8. thank you for making it through my rules! i’m thomas ( he/him/his ) and i’m really not that much of a stickler, i promise. i’m twenty-seven, engaged, and operating as a legal assistant by day, no-skill gamer by night. i pull some wacky hours, so expect low activity.

 ⋙      𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬.

on warden carver vs templar carver.

on malcolm’s absence in carver’s life.

on carver and his views on mortality.

on carver’s mundane aspects.

on carver’s attitude towards the templars, especially in act i.

on carver’s dislike of anders. 

on carver’s attempts at befriending fenris.

on the potential carver and merrill had.

[razubomb]

#𝐑𝐀𝐙𝐔𝐁𝐎𝐌𝐁.  this  is  an  independent  and  highly  private  roleplay  blog  for  𝙹𝙴𝚂𝚂𝙸𝙴  𝚁𝙰𝚂𝙱𝙴𝚁𝚁𝚈  of  square  enix's  final  fantasy  vii  remake.  this  portrayal  is  solely  remake  and  headcanon-based.  due  to  the  nature  of  some  themes  presented  in  the  final  fantasy  vii  universe,  this  blog  is  intended  for  a  21+  audience  only.  possible  triggers  include:  war,  eco-terrorism,  blood,  death,  gore,  human  experimentation,  sexual  content  and  more.  please  follow  at  your  own  discretion.  established  2022.  written  by  fae  (  she  /  her  ,  30+  ,  cst  ).

𝙰𝙵𝙵𝙸𝙻𝙸𝙰𝚃𝙴𝙳 𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷   ...   nibelblade   nibelfist   fairesky   slumshots 𝙲𝚁𝙴𝙳𝙸𝚃𝚂   ...   psd by somresources.

one. first off, i’ll just go ahead and put this out there that i am not familiar with the original game, nor do i have the time or resources to commit to diving into it at this time. as such, this blog is wholly based on the remake continuity. this means i may get things wrong or misunderstand things as i am still learning the universe! please don’t be mean about this. i am aware that this is a very old and beloved franchise and im sad i am only just now getting into it myself. if you are looking for og content, this isn’t the blog for you, sorry.

two. general rp etiquette applies. no god-modding, meta-gaming, controlling my character’s actions or dialogue, forceshipping, etc. please don’t be an asshole, and especially don’t follow this blog if you support any of the -isms/phobias ( racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, etc ).

three. this blog is multiship and multiverse and the best way to interact with me is to send me memes! i don’t foresee myself making too many starter calls, so memes or screaming at me in IMs is your best bet to get things started. 

four. this blog may feature triggering and nsfw material, so please follow at your own discretion. i am over the age of 18, so sexual content may appear on this blog from time to time. please do not follow this blog if you are under the age of 21. 

rules subject to be updated/changed at my discretion. 

[springdayautumnmoon]

had a dream where a former friend of mine who ran a successful meme page on twitter made a thread making fun of me for how stupid a name springdayautumnmoon was.

its funny, sometimes i feel self conscious about this choice of handle because of how long it is, how contrived its backstory is, how tacky it is etc, which i usually justify to myself by saying "well im a very contrived and tacky person so it makes sense" but now i wanna keep this name solely out of spite for that former friend.

[oozywoozycon]

okay so like shen yuan absolutely thinks of himself as a feminist or at least as not sexist bare minimum not misogynistic BUT he also thinks he’s a ‘very straight man with absolutely no feelings about gender no way i’m so cool and normal about all of these things as a normal man and everyone knows normal men like women and since i am both normal and a man obviously i do too what do you mean what is my definition of normal? normal is normal i’m normal no i’m so normal ask me anything i’ll be soooo normal about it’ and all that to say he’s delusional BUT

he’s well meaning mostly

but even looking past his protagonist/binghe blinders, his interpretations of female behavior are wildly sexist over half the time. ALSO I LOVE SY AND MOST OF HIS INTERPRETATIONS STAY IN HIS THOUGHTS AND IN THE END ARE MORE ABOUT HIS EXTREME INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA THAN THEY ARE ABOUT WOMEN BUT JUST BC THESE THOUGHTS ARE COMING FROM A PLACE OF SELF DENIAL DOES NOT MEAN THESE THOUGHTS DO NOT OCCUR

why am i having so many feelings ab this rn

i am too high and too tired to pull out text examples but just like the ways he interprets nyy’s behavior and also the way he thinks of almost every female character as ‘for binghe’, as his wives, as narrative side plot s and tbf he thinks of most things in this world as being created solely for binghe and also he’s a legendarily unreliable narrator even when it comes to his actual real thoughts but he struggles to conceptualize women as smth not secondary to a man

now this largely is likely to make up for the fact that sy is not actually attracted to women but wants to think he is so he plays these little mind games where he’s like well obviously i’m into women bc i can imagine a man and woman together and as a man that means i’m the man which means i like women even tho the woman in this scenario is actually him and he’s staring down this other man’s pecs okay i’m too tired to continue this man has so much to him and if i reread any of this i would likely disagree w myself, delete it all, and rewrite an oppositional argument where i would once again decide my minds changed after completing and so i will rewrite… etc etc (also source re: i’m straight i can imagine sex bt man and woman is me bc i’m gay and use to think bc i watched porn i had to like dick at least a little bc i would only ever watch porn where you could really only see the dick of the man and i did not examine further the fact that my preference was due to that meaning the woman was in more / most / all of the shot and the man nearly invisible / nothing but a dick and the focus was all on the woman. lmaooooooo i was like ‘yeah i’m just imagining myself as the woman!!!!!!! imagining her boobs and the way she feels and the sounds she makes and OBVIOUSLY IM TALKING AB MYSELF IN HER POSITION WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT’ anyways this memory just hit me so hard and that delusion just feels so quintessentially shen yuan to me that in my brain now that is also his process (tho prob his main defense is that meme of ‘i respect women so much i would never fuck one that’s how much respect i have’ but also this is absolutely one line of defense i’m so right)

jfc why are tumblrs paragraph breaks so large and inconsistent

glanced back and realized i never actually really got to my point that’s fine

[system-of-a-feather]

Honestly? I feel people particularly in Western and individualist capitalist society over complicate and subscribe to a concept of "sense of self" that is far more limited and self destructive than not and that rather limited concept of "sense of self" is largely why there stuff like DID and all seem to be "more prevalent in western cultures" since identity and "sense of self" as a thing of "what makes me who I am and what makes me different than others"

But honestly? As I see it, my / our sense of self is the collection of our way of existing and maybe a vague sense of our principles and values that we collectively have - but even thats a "maybe". Imo the sense of self is always changing and any real attempts to label it is 9/10 times just going to describe your present state of being and while that is very important to acknowledge, trying to hold yourself to an identity that is rooted in an arbitrary state of being established at an arbitrary time you last reflected and checked in/on your "sense of self" tends to drive a lot of distress, confusion, and general "stuckness" when - for whatever reason - your current sense of self doesn't align with what it was last Tuesday when you thought of it.

Riku and I talk about this all the time, between Riku's more classical Zen Buddhist approach to things and me just generally being anti-captialist anti-individualism - it's something we really like to have our internal socratic seminars over /hj

But I guess in short for us, each alter has a momentary sense of self defined by their own general way of existing, and somewhere in there, there is a collective way of existing that we have that we all vibe with and understand but due to DID and dissociation, we ourselves can't see it as clearly as outsiders might and honestly? That's fine. We don't need to clearly see that because imo, knowledge and a deep word-bound understanding of what that is tends to be a lot more restraining and harmful than actually knowing it.

I generally go by the line of "I am me" (OK RIKU IM TRYING TO TALK ABOUT OUR CONVERSATION PLEASE DONT THROW MEMES AT ME WHEN IM TRYING TO TALK ABOUT THIS) and I think that applies both on the alter and system level. There's no real need to over complicate it.

Like I can say stuff like "I'm a nonbinary male rocker boy anti-capitalist anti-individualism white haired ass whole who is an introject of like 6 different sources and loves martial arts and DMC and" all that I want and that is all true and I love and value all those very identifying traits of myself and regularly indulge in that, but really, all of that is just what I am *right now* and not who I am as a whole large concept that lives, grows, and changes over time.

Sense of self is, and should be, ever growing, ever changing, and undefinable with words in my opinion and approaching sense of self like that removes A LOT of stress on this "oh no but we have to be consistent" and "well who AM I" cause like.... you are you no matter what and no matter how complicated, chaotic, and structurally chaotic "you" might be as well as regardless of if you can see "you" clearly.

The thing is, even as a system, others will perceive you and they will see the whole more clearly than you do because they don't see all the internal workings as detailed to clutter it - but it's there, solely on the basis that your being is operating and interacting in the world in some way that is defined by your life experiences and internal experiences and your actions compiled paint an image of self. We can't see it well cause amnesia and what not, but it's there and I trust outsiders to see and acknowledge it without me needing to consciously label it.

But I digress-

//kicks XIV off the platform// I'M LITERALLY SCREAMING I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THE LAST 20 MINUTES FOR A REALLY GOOD ZEN BUDDHIST 1.5 HOUR LONG DISCUSSION ON THIS TOPIC THAT I REALLY REALLY REALLY LIKED AND I THINK ITS OFF YOUTUBE AND IM GOING TO CRY AND SCREAM AND DIE AND //shot//

I really wanted to link it here up at the top cause it was REALLY good and REALLY liberating but now I guess at least I have a reason to go find another speaker who converses it half as well

If I find something like that I'll link it but like "Who am I" is honestly a very fundamental meditative question within Zen and (apparently from what I find while trying my hardest to find the video on youtube) Tibetan Buddhism and its such a nice thing to meditate though.

((WHY IS IT NO LONGER THERE IM GOING TO CRY AND DIE AND SCREAM AND-//shot//)

(... ironically case in point of the ever changing "way of being" XD)

On Identity

The other day, I saw someone talk about struggling with their own identity outside of “someone with DID” or “a person with trauma”. And that got me to thinking… what even is identity in the context of those of us who are a system? Individual alters may have their own sense of identity, sure, however they find that identity. But is there a system identity? And not like…. just in the sense of “we’re part of this system”, but like…. a whole, overarching identity that feels like “me” that the whole system feels, if that makes sense?

And what even makes up an identity? I’ve heard of people saying things like, favorite color or favorite food, but that feels incredibly surface level. But things like race, age, and class also feel too limiting. Or rather… I don’t like putting the focus on those things as my identity. It’s a part of my identity, yes. But not really the whole story?

The sense of “me” is kind of weird for people with DID and trying to differentiate how that feels from alter to alter is hard to articulate. And I’m sure no two systems even conceptualize identity the same way. The sense of “me” vs “not me” is both nebulous and distinct. And is there maybe some sort of an undercurrent of “me” that’s prevalent throughout all the alters in my system?

I think I can pretty confidently say, yeah. There is definitely a sense of “me” that seems present in every single alter in this system. I can’t really spell out what that “me” is, but I think it’s there. And as the days go on that sense of identity, of “me”, not as a part but as a whole, gets a little bit stronger.

Maybe this is what it means to be less dissociative. Maybe this is the beginning of what healing looks like for me.

[wlw-lovestruck-fiction]

“Vivienne x Mc, where Mc gets injured and falls unconscious and later Vivienne taking care?“

Pairing with:

Mc x Vivienne - QoT Mc was really close to an explosion during a heist, causing her to permanently loss her hearing. You can include the other members too because I want to see how will they handle future heist when one of their has been injured, how does Vivienne react? Will she let mc continue or not? And how does mc feel? Does she feel she cannot as much as before lost her hearing?

HEY... how do you think Vivienne would deal with a deaf MC? im deaf myself 😳😳 headcanons work if they're easier!

QOT MC gets caught up in the blast from one of Jett’s explosives, and now has severe burns acrros her face and other parts of her body along with slight deafness. Could I get a fic of Vivienne comforting her, and telling her she’s still beautiful? Thanks!

…

Warning: Writer’s first time writing a hard of hearing character.

TW: Panic attacks. Mentions of injury. Mentions of scarring.

Introspection-heavy fic.

…

The explosion was one of Jett’s finest work up to date.

Vivienne could feel it rattle her very bones, even though she was quite a distance away. The building crumbled easily and readily, becoming nothing but a sour-tasting memory. She nodded approvingly, letting out a small sigh in relief. There it went, up in smoke, all the incriminating evidence Benicio had gathered on them. And, as a bonus, most of his fake career.

“Ha! That was amazing!” Jett laughed, his voice bright with happiness, high with adrenaline. The rest of the Poppy soon joined in, albeit in less boisterous chuckles.

Coming down from the building she was in was child’s play. She abandoned Benicio’s unconscious body for the authorities to find, humming to herself as she made her way over to Leon, just barely paying attention to the conversation of the rest of the Poppy.

It doesn’t take long for her to notice that something is wrong. That something is missing.

She balances on top of the balcony she’s on, dread creeping over her body like lead, making her feel sluggish.

“Has anyone heard MC?”

The idle chatter stops. Vivienne can feel the shift in the atmosphere, can practically hear it become tense and chilly.

Amidst the muttered ‘no’ of the rest of the members, Zoe’s voice sounds surprisingly clear, a tinge of panic and worry that makes Vivienne lurch forward, desperate to reach the ground. “I lost her signal. Something must have happened!”

“But Benicio is out cold this time-”

“Nadia backed off, right? She couldn’t have-”

“And there is no way Francesca would-”

“Maybe,” Jett’s voice sounds hesitant, an echo of his usual self. “She got… caught by the explosion.”

Remy scoffs. “There’s no way that could have happened, MC knew the dangers!”

“Keep an eye out for the police, Zoe. We need to look for her,” Nikolai commanded, his voice as cold and hard as steel, immediately cutting through the panicked chatter.

Vivienne lets her teammates handle the distractions to stall the police a bit longer, her mind set only on making sure MC was all right. She hadn’t felt so frightened since everything that happened with Isadora, and she refused to let anything even remotely similar happen again. She couldn’t lose anyone precious to her. She couldn’t. One more person, and her soul would have been shattered beyond repair.

Not to mention, the whole issue with Benicio was her fault in the first place. If MC got hurt… god, if she got hurt…

“Ambulance! Can someone call an ambulance?”

Her head whipped around, eyes wide. There was a man shouting desperately a few meters away, making frantic motions to something behind him. Mouth dry, Vivienne relayed the situation to the rest of the Poppy. Her legs felt like jelly. She wondered if she’d crumble into an unrepairable mess when she got close enough, but no such thing happened. She moved forward as if possessed, dropping to her knees near two bodies. One was a small child, and the other was MC, cradling the child as if she was trying to protect him from the entire world.

They were both unconscious. Vivienne’s eyes trailed MC’s exposed skin, painted an angry red down to its very core, from her left shoulder down to her thigh. Her clothes were ruined, charred beyond recognition, sticking to MC’s body like a second skin. Vivienne’s first instinct is to throw her cape over her, just to cover the burns. Her hands are shaking so bad it proves to be quite the difficult task.

The child MC is holding seems fine, his burns less severe than MC’s, which eases Vivienne’s worry somewhat.

Jett was right. She had been caught up in the explosion.

…

“I had to pull a lot of favors to erase our trail, but at least the police won’t find us for a while. We can lay low while MC recovers.” Zoe informed them, a few nights later, exhaustion sipping from her like water out of a waterfall. Nikolai is in a similar state, sitting near Zoe by the couch, one hand covering his face and the other gripping his knee so tightly his knuckles are almost white.

“And the boy’s father?”

“He’s been trying to locate MC, but I don’t think we should worry about him. As for the boy, he’s much better than MC. His hearing wasn’t as affected, either. She really saved him…”

“Then again, if it hadn’t been for him, MC wouldn’t be like this in the first place.” Vivienne icily mutters, tightening her hold over her glass of wine. Nikolai and Zoe just give her a glance, too tired to pick a fight with her. “If he hadn’t rushed in recklessly-”

“He was scared, Viv.” Remy says, from somewhere in the kitchen. “He wasn’t thinking clearly.”

Vivienne’s scowl deepens. “Yes, but who runs into danger? You’d think the fire alarm would have gotten him to run the other way.”

“Someone who didn’t know there was going to be an explosion, that’s who.”

The seductress growls, a dark expression over her face, bitter frustration raging inside her like a chemical reaction about to explode. It just doesn’t make sense. Everything that boy had done that day was simply moronic, and MC – the angel she was, putting others before herself as she often did – had suffered dearly for it. The burns would leave scarring, no doubt; they had become angry red lines and spots that Vivienne mapped with a careful touch every time she had to apply the ointment the doctor had recommended. She had to watch how MC flinched at the contact, how she bit back a cry of pain, hiding it behind a shuddering smile and glistering brown eyes.

Vivienne couldn’t stop thinking about her expression. About how everything had changed, suddenly and without warning, all because of a boy. She can’t help but think about what Remy says and seethe in anger at the sheer absurdity of the boy’s actions, but she decides to stay quiet. The last thing the team needs is another fight.

Zoe speaks again after a few moments, voice soft.

“How is Jett?”

“He hasn’t left MC’s side,” Vivienne answers, after taking a deep breath. “His guilt is practically eating him alive.”

Zoe gives the couch a mournful, exhausted look, but gets to her feet nonetheless. “I’ll go check on him.”

No one blames Jett.

Ever since she had regained consciousness, MC’s sole focus had been on him. Vivienne didn’t mind. It felt relieving to walk inside her room and find them close, enjoying life, doing Art Club activities or laughing over some funny meme. Or, well, trying to. Jett’s laugh was muted, worried, tinted with sadness and regret; it was a sound that haunted Vivienne wherever she went, something that mirrored her own conflicted feelings. MC’s laugh was restrained and also wistful and a little distant. Sometimes she grimaced in the middle of it, her happiness crumbling in a burning flash of pain that made Vivienne’s heart clench and drop.

But they were trying. They were doing their best.

They would get through this. They all would.

…

Changes are inevitable. MC stands through it all like a stubborn rock holding its ground against a current, taking everything in stride. Vivienne had always found the artist fascinating, a fantastic enigma that Vivienne had foolishly thought she had cracked a long time ago.

MC always surprised her. After everything, Vivienne couldn’t help but feel awed by her. True, the first few weeks were hard, but MC had accepted her condition sooner rather than later, while Vivienne still cautiously danced around it, not sure what to think or feel or do.

MC had lost 65% percent of her hearing due to the explosion. Her left ear was slightly better, only at 50%, but the doctor had warned them she would lose more as the years went by. And while Vivienne had once again thrown herself into a bitter spiral of resentment against the boy, that damned boy, MC had pursed her lips with a determined expression and thrown herself into learning sign language and working around everything.

Everyone had agreed early on that MC couldn’t participate in heists anymore. She’d still be their forger, of course, but she’d stay with Zoe when the heist was underway.

“It’d be too dangerous,” MC had admitted, distractedly playing with the hem of her black jacket. She had this solemn look in her eyes, hollow and heavy with resignation, but it wasn’t defeated. It had this quiet intensity to it, like a volcano about to erupt; no one had dared to say anything as she explained. “I can’t even tell where sounds come from anymore, so I wouldn’t react properly to a threat.”

Vivienne couldn’t really wrap her mind around it. MC had described sounds as muted, fuzzy, distant, as if there was a giant wall of glass between her and the world, and on top of it she was underwater. Sounds simply became a cacophony in the background, nothing for MC to really pick apart. It was disorienting, at first, mostly because Vivienne hadn’t really fully processed everything yet.

Sometimes she would turn towards MC with her usual flair and dramas, all but spinning on the chair of her vanity like the typical movie villain, only to find MC engrossed on her work and not aware at all of the dramatic sigh Vivienne had delivered not two seconds ago. That was, perhaps, the biggest change. It didn’t take long for Vivienne to get used to it, no, but there had been something special in calling MC’s name from across the room and watching her reaction unfurl, be it an amused smirk or a heated stare.

MC carried on, not considering her hearing loss a disability at all. It made things different, but not impossible, something Vivienne had irrationally feared in the beginning. She loved MC and everything that entailed, be it scarring or hearing loss or grumpiness or that annoyingly stubborn personality of hers. There was no in-between, no extremes. There weren’t moments where Vivienne had loved her more or less. One day she had woken up to realize she had fallen hopelessly in love and she had never quite managed to get back up after that.

So these changes? Vivienne would accept them. Welcome them. No matter what.

…

The hearing aids helped. A bit.

MC had put them on, frowned for a second, and then beamed at Vivienne saying: “Oh, I can tell your voice apart from all the sounds now!” And that was it. No magically being able to hear everything again, no magically being able to pick apart the words. There was just a vague tone piercing a muted world, an anchor making lip-reading easier, but nothing else. Zoe had looked. Oh, how had she looked, but that was it. Everyone had accepted that. MC was just happy to her their voices again, however fuzzy they were.

Now, Vivienne could actually come sashaying into the room and call out to MC, and MC would look up and search for her – she still had a hard time telling where the sounds came from – and then roll her eyes with a fond smile at her girlfriend’s antics.

Something Vivienne had discovered about hard of hearing people: they listened. No, really. Somebody else would be distracted by something that happened around them, or would look at their phone or watch or hands or anything else before rejoining the conversation. Small things, really. MC didn’t do those anymore. Her attention was solely focused on whoever was speaking, watching their lips, interpreting their words. Or watching the signs, the body language, everything she could do to figure out what was going on and answer accordingly.

It was only at night that MC confided how difficult and exhausting and frustrating lip-reading was. The Poppy made an effort to sign, they had all gotten quite good at SSE, but sometimes they would go out and encounter somebody that didn’t know how to sign or somebody that wasn’t aware of what had happened to MC. It was all sort of situations, but MC took in stride.

“Baby?” MC’s drowsy voice cut through Vivienne’s thoughts. The pronunciation was a bit off, but charmingly so. MC had been horrified when Zoe commented on it, trying to correct it as soon as possible, but privately Vivienne didn’t really see why she worried so much over it. Her voice was beautiful no matter what. Or maybe Vivienne was just far too whipped. Hm.

She smiled against MC’s skin, feeling the heat of it call out to her like a siren’s song. She shifted a bit, so she could rest her head over MC’s chest, snuggling under the covers. It was a cold night, after all.

“Yes?” She mumbled, internally screaming in joy over the pet name. The vibration of her voice was all MC needed to know she was awake.

“I don’t think I’m up for seeing Jace tomorrow. Think we could reschedule?”

Vivienne hummed, toying with the thought. “I think so.” She finally drew the words on MC’s skin. Her fingers slid over the charred, dry zone that had been burned and she frowned a little, wondering if she should apply more ointment in the morning.

“Great.” MC said, softly. “And… we could… maybe we could watch a movie? There’s a new one that just began airing – I’ll ask Zoe for a subtitled version tomorrow.”

“Lovely.” Vivienne drew back.

“I love you.”

The little heart that was the seductress’ reply tingled in MC’s skin like invisible ink, pure and happy and warm like the first few rays of the sun, something that would linger for many days to come.

…

In the morning, as she had been doing this past month, the first thing she did when she woke up was straddle MC under her.

MC blinked owlishly, staring at her with a soft smile. She let Vivienne move over her, sighing contently at the soft touches from her lover. Vivienne made sure to stay in sight, so MC could see her lips.

With all that done, Vivienne began her worship.

Her hand cupped MC’s cheek, tracing the cheekbone down to the soft angle of her jaw, adoring. Long fingers then glided over her throat, down, down so she could move over her collarbones, one hand to the right, one to the left.

One hand slid over smooth, soft silk, while the other traveled against rough and dry edges carefully. MC’s eyes shifted at that, always hesitant over the marred skin, and Vivienne leaned down to place a kiss just above where the burns had been, as reverently as an astronaut would kiss the ground after months away from the Earth. She hovered there for a few seconds while her hand moved from MC’s shoulder to her side, finally coming to rest over her hip.

“You are beautiful.” She mouthed, leaning back. MC’s eyes flickered to her lips, catching the words, her smile stretching just a little bit more.

Vivienne continued, leaving a trail of kisses over that side, as she often did.

“These tell a story,” she said, and MC listened, brows knitted in concentration. “Of a brave woman that was too caring, and of a silly boy.”

MC starts to shake her head, aware of Vivienne’s resentment, but Vivienne is quick to place a finger over her lips to shush her.

“A silly boy,” she repeated, and for once her voice carried no venom. “That would have had a much difficult condition had that brave woman not intervened. These scars tell a story… and its outcome, filled with obstacles and changes and that one stubborn woman in the center of it all. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone more determined in my entire life. But here you are, MC, here you are…”

She shudders with delight, her smile widening even more. One of her hand comes up to rest over Vivienne’s heart, to feel the vibrations of her voice.

“A warrior, an angel. You are the sun my thoughts spin around, always, forever. You came into my life and gave me a reason to become the woman I am today. You are always so optimistic, so breathtakingly beautiful, with you I-” Vivienne cut herself off, remembering to breathe, to pace herself. MC gave her a grateful nod, her expression soft with affection. “With you I feel like I might soar. You’ve taught me so much. You’ve taught me how to be accepting. To accept mistakes. To not run from them. And now, you’ve taught me the importance of not giving up. I admire you, you know?”

Vivienne looked at the scars again.

“The story these tell… It’s awe-inspiring. I’ll look at them every morning and remember how strong you are. Beautiful isn’t perfect skin and perfect hearing. It isn’t daring heists and life on the edge. Beautiful is you, are you are now.”

The kiss they share is gentle, loving, pure.

[paneerlajwanti]

@rosadiaz-givesme-bipanic thanks for the tag and im also sorry chain posts and tag mail kinda make me a little uhm i dont know but there were a few questions right wait lemme just yeah, i am bored and will do my assignments later so i guess this is storytime bestie

why did you choose your url?

i was feeling a little uncomfortable with my earlier (folkwh0res) and wanted a change so my brain randomly went paneer lajawab and im like hmm not bad and then one bad pun and one tinkle reference later, paneerlajwanti

any sideblogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them

ah yes lets go. fuck. this one's my main. @paavam is my aesthetic side blog for art and history and poetry. @hoeticulture is my blog for ocs and resources and similar stuff. i have 2 random unused private blogs, then uhm there’s one for bucky that I just saved the url and uhm I don’t know I don’t keep track lmao oh and idk why I forgot @sebsax a blog i had once created solely for writing my “thoughts”

how long have you been on tumblr?

technically, six years. but i started using it in later 2018 and i got popular and made friends and social circles in 2019 and 2020.

do you have a queue tag?

yeah, bestie i do, but i also randomly pour a million reblogs at a time. my current tag is called “#queue main teri arti utaru?”

why did you start your blog in the first place?

my loyalties will always lie with starplus mahabharat and the baahubali fandom and cringey indian television that are now my comfort shows

why did you choose your icon/ pfp?

sleepy loki in the tva while working supremacy

why did you choose your header?

i made the header while watching the second episode of loki and used the colours in the palette of the show and wanted to make something that fit

what’s your post with most notes

brown light under sunlight supremacy (872 notes)

existential dard - pt one (771 notes)

thread of sanghana ranaut’s worst behaviours (860 notes)

“yo a ti cas" a very bad meme that i made before entering the fandom somewhere around november 2020 (743 notes)

unofficial indian pride flag (622 notes)

my most detailed mandala (511 notes)

how many followers do you have?

[redacted]

how many people do you follow?

900-1200? i think i’m not sure cant switch tabs

have you made shitposts?

oh they’re very on brand for me. i do make shitposts. they’re mainly stupid and yearny and huh. i think that’s my entire personality in three words huh.

did you have a fight/ argument with a blog once?

i don’t remember tho but i don’t think so but the most i think i can jog my memory is an angry rant to anon hate for my friend

how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

oh dude i didn’t even know that was an anxiety i had until i used tumblr. the compulsion and my adhd guilt brain feels bad for not doing or doing anything. initially i would reblog it because my guilt for scrolling over something that i am not the target audience for didn’t sit right with me and i would reblog every chain post and took me a while to work out the balance and tell myself that these reblog and something will/ won’t happen is not how life works so don’t let that hover in your brain and make you feel bad and idk dude lmao

do you like tag games?

i like them, i get to know my friends because of them, but i also get overwhelmed and a lot of times mentally answer them and forget to actually respond and then feel guilty days if not weeks later that they waited for me to talk or interact and then i didn’t. oh and the very long tag games like you know mutual to mutual and tag mutuals i don’t know something like that happens and i freeze in my tracks lmao

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

i think a lot of them, if not most of them.

do you have a crush on a mutual?

platonically, yes. real strong.

[burstbubbbles]

hi! sorry for the late reply, i was in a train all morning.

um, so. i may have expressed myself a bit too broadly in the first post, but i actually agree with what you are saying!! my original post was mostly aimed at the marauders' memes and silly tiktoks, where the characters aren't all that complex and are basically watered down to their most recognizable traits.

back in the earlier 2010s, their stereotyped versions (i don't really know how else to describe their... tiktok personalities) were quite different from their current stereotypes. the reason behind those changes is what you've just described, and it's really interesting too!

im drafting a longer post about the characterizations of the marauders in the way i saw them change through the years, which is obviously more complex and deep if you read longer fanfiction rather than what i did in my original post (focusing on the memes whoops). i actually like many aspects of the new characterizations, like the inclusion of diversity and the way james potter got so much more,,,, nuanced? (english isn't my first language sorry if that makes no sense)

but basically, yeah, i agree with you! fandon evolves constantly, and it has both good aspects and bad aspects, but that tends to be subjective to each fan. in my case, i was mostly just confused as to how the memes, fanarts and tiktoks changed so much, but it's not that i don't like it, it was just unexpected when i first realized it.

--

PS because i feel the need to make this clear: i didn't mean to say that ATYD made remus rude, just that lots of people read ATYD and sort of got the idea that remus is edgy™ so the memes they now make are solely based around that trait (not always, but it's very common. like, i literally saw a meme once where it was implied that remus would tell their friends to "kill themselves or get over it" if they complained that life was unfair. it was part of a weird trend tho, so it's honestly not that deep lol).

that said, i love ATYD!remus with all my heart and i would never disrespect Her Majesty MsKingBean89 like that :') she made his character so so interesting and complex and i will forever be grateful.

maybe im a bit lost because i was really into the marauders like 5 years ago and then i left the fandom, but like. why did we adopt ATYD!remus as *canon-fanon!remus like ??

the whole reason remus is that way in ATYD is that he was raised in a completely different context than canon!remus. he had a different upbringing than the canonical character so he obviously grew up to be different. that's okay! it's an AU after all, and everyone is entitled to their own characterization of their favorite characters — especially with the marauders, whose content is 75% fan-made.

BUT.

how did Remus John Lupin, the responsible, witty, smart and just a teeny bit softer bookwormish marauder — which is how he was usually characterized back in 2017-ish — become the edgy one ??

it's a really funny concept to me, because i remember all the memes from back in the day and they went sort of like,

remus, after finding out the marauders know he's a werewolf: but ?? you guys should be scared of me now.

sirius: moony, you literally fold your own socks.

peter: and ours!

james: beware! beware the very dangerous sock-folding werewolf!

and it's not like remus had No Edge™ in the old characterization because he was generally thought to be a smoker who lived on coffee and tea. now it's always like. remus telling people to k!ll themselves for complaining about life being difficult.

maybe im exaggerating a little bit, but it's for the sake of the point. it's weird. it's not even that i dislike the new characterization of the marauders — which has actually evolved for all of them. i just find it funny, and i would like to know how it sort of just... happened.

tl;dr: i wonder how old fanon!remus became new fanon!remus.

maybe someday i'll make a longer post explanaining how i think all of the marauders characterizations have evolved because there are two cases in particular that i find really cool. but that's for some other day ;)

*note: by canon-fanon i mean the generalized view and characterization of a certain character by the majority of the fandom.

[theonly-vagina-kyungsoo-will-fuk]

Ive been kinda emotional lately and i just wanted to apologise if any of my posts on this blog has offended anybody, if u think im a horrible person then pls my all means block me. Not everyone feels comfortable with my username and i get it.

Ive had this blog since 2017, which was the year i finally enrolled into uni after years of putting off from it. I hate the school system, ive experienced and witnessed alot of abuse from there (which is probably why i hate most if not all teachers :/) theres been times where i won't have likes or reblogs on this page. Times i would make a post and no body would respond. Times where i would not have any more exo content/meme to post *SIDE EYES SM*

Ive been posting on this blog EVERYDAY from April of 2017 and back in the day it would just be 100% exo content and nothing else. I stopped myself from posting about my other interests ans about myself in general because i thought i would lose followers. But ever since i started opening up, ive met so many lovely people on here! And even managed to get a tumblr wife @sundropsoo! (marie if youre reading this, I LOVE U SO MUCH BITCH, U DONT UNDERSTAND 😤😭🔪)

i just wanted to let everyone know, yes there has been some shady posts that i have made in the past that i regret. I dont mean to disrespect or make fun of any of the members. At the end of the day, this blog exists solely on the love we all have for exo ❤️ and just wanna thank you all for being a part of the hymen family (yes ive decided to refer to followers as hymens from now on)

- love kat 🍫