#im not used to having gender dysphoria and i dont like it
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i have multiple and im going to mention all of them but im starting with THIS FUCKER HERE (blade from honkai star rail) AND I HAVE A VERY STUPID REASON FOR IT
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there was an minigame thing with a character named march 7th (dont ask) and there were little events you could encounter throughout it and one of them was that you had to choose between a red and blue pill (or the third option of giving a nonanswer) and since my choice didnt matter at all i went with the red pill because i know that the matrix is a transfem allegory and i also hc march as transfem but then another character made a little comment that blade would ALSO pick the red pill which completely makes sense for his character but since i was still on the transfem allegory mindset i had the thought of "wait does this make blade transfem??" so shes transfem to me now 👍
estrogen would NOT save her. not even REMOTELY. he's a suicidal immortal who physically cannot die because of a ritual his old friend-with-romantic-implications tried who he now wants dead more than anything else. hes basically possessed by evil plants that revive him every time he dies and he goes fucking feral. hes a mass murderer with a bounty of over 8 billion. nothing can save him. but transitioning might make her miserable life slightly more manageable? plus i mean.. throwing your old name away and being a new person? obviously a metaphor for being trans /j
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boothill! this is slightly for shipping reasons (turning a het ship wlw for funzies) but mostly projecting my gender-nonconforming transness onto the only southern disabled character i know of. are we different kinds of southern? yes. are we different kinds of disabled? also yes. do i care? absolutely not. (also because butch southern women make the world go round)
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also sampo because the idea that this fuck is a cisgender ANYTHING is laughable. this is a nonbinary transfem boymoding for shits and giggles who randomly switches to the girl voice when talking to someone JUST to fuck with them because nobody else would believe them and the person would think theyre losing it. typical masked fool stuff. gaslight gatekeep girlboss.
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and then from genshin impact: zhongli. who has CANONICALLY used shapeshifting to become a woman. and has likely done so on more than one occasion. this guy is CANONICALLY GENDERFLUID WHETHER PEOPLE LIKE IT OR NOT. and you can obviously be genderfluid and transfem at the same time so why the hell not :D
most other characters i hc as transfem i dont have much of a reason for, but im gonna list them anyways cause hell yeah
argenti (hsr) - she can have a little estrogen as a treat
dr. ratio (hsr) - no reason i just think it could work
sunday (hsr) - something something religious-trauma-and-giving-into-what-you-once-believed-to-be-sinful
diluc (genshin) - fanfiction on ao3 changed my brain chemistry
kazuha (genshin) - also no reason i just think it fits
sebastian solace (a game on roblox called pressure) - im gonna be honest with you op, i just like putting this fucker in situations. and i would love to see the struggle of medically transitioning when you've been forcibly had your body and dna altered to the point of no longer being human. even ignoring for a few seconds the thought that maybe hrt wouldnt have the same effect (or any effect at all) due to the experiments, how could you will yourself to alter yourself medically in any way after the horrific trauma you've experienced? its between fucking with your already fucked up body or having the dysphoria kill you from the inside out. i am rotating her in my mind even harder now.
p.ai.nter (from same game) on the other hand? a lot simpler. make the ai with guns a girl. also just a funny idea: you know that "put eyelashes on it to make it obvious that its a girl" thing? yeah. painter doing that.
^ TELL ME SHE WOULDNT.
i would apologize for the essay but you did say i was legally required to share so this is your fault /lh
anyways i hope you enjoyed the women
If you see this post you’re legally required to tell me at least one trans woman headcanons you have for a canonically male character, I never get to see transfem headcanons like that, give me them, and for equality of my own please know estrogen could have saved Insector Haga and Dinosaur Ryuzaki I will not elaborate, also Yuya.
#i foind fishe :))))))#<- my sebastian solace tag because not everyone wants to see 50 fanart posts of this guy on their dash in the span of 5 minutes#long post#id in alt text
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Trans hermits. You agree.
#i post abojt trans hermits a lot but shhhhh#listen im thinking about each of them figuring themselves out#some find out theyre comfortable as they are but just dont like certain lamguage used for them#some of them take a long time trying to figure everything out because everything seems to fit#some have issues figuring out how they feel about their gender and stuff#i think theres just a lot of potential with trans hermits#they all have different levels of dysphoria. some have none at all some have a lot#some wanna transition some dont#theres some hermits who like multiple pronouns. some hermits who just like one set of pronohns. theres hermits that dont care.#idk im ggoijg in circles but you get what i meannnn#im so starved for any trans rep that's not just a sad trans boi or whatever#i wanna see more trans people man i just wanna see trans people being happy and just living rheir lives#stiff talk#hermit posting#<new possible tag?
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Hey bestie, no need to answer this, but I saw u reblogged something from roach - works, and I just wanna let u know that she's a major terf
oh!!! thank you for this fr. i'm answering this bc i just wanna say that i don't have shinigami eyes and i'm on mobile most of the time, so these pointers are much appreciated <33
#preemptive soury for the rant. guess my meds finally kicked tf in. and im at my computer so keyboard access vvv#caveat i WILL say that i have a sideblog that specifically reblogs terf-specific rhetoric but it is an archival blog for research purposes#archival bc in the past i've been looking at blogs that end up being deactivated or change to a name i dont know#and research bc i've been interested in understanding the sociology/psychology behind it for a while and how other bases of discrimination#(eg acephobia and anti-pornography) tie into their sets of beliefs. as well as having the privilege of a strong foundational academic#background in these topics that i am perfectly capable of disputing each argument point if need be#this also provides me with a set of dogwhistles that may not be as obvious to the larger tumblr population (eg i have a strong suspicion#that 'natal female' is a dogwhistle in the context of academia. yes this comes from reading actually published articles. if that sounds#familiar to anyone. yes this is heavily rooted in that one that tries to propose 'rapid onset' gender dysphoria but used an insanely biased#sampling population for their statistics. which was the basis of the entire paper. i want to ask how some of this shit even gets published.#but then like. there's the AI rat penis so. anyways)#saying this bc i occasionally DO have anxiety that i will accidentally reblog something to the wrong blog. and it's moreso the concern of#not wanting to spread misinformation and bigotry without a critical deconstruction behind its rationale.#that sideblog is there and tucked away for storage purposes only. please let me know if ive accidentally reblogged smth to this blog#ask#Anonymous#edit damn wtf. i dont even follow them whhh. tumblr's GOTTA stop just. randomly putting shit on my dash. god
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HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to the day my brain was literally rewired and my gender was being changed by the second SO HERES A GAS STATION SPECIAL before this joint was even a gas station in the FIRST PLACE !!!!
FUCKING FREAK
#kommento#// theres a whole love letter in here dont open these tags it's a readmore equivalent#p4#⛽️🌫#moel gas station attendant#tohru adachi#boot.tingting#arttag#// sneak peak before the manager became a manager and only put the uniform on to see how well it would fit and hasnt taken it off since.#// im tearing up because i hate how it's been three years and also i cant find the other notebook so i went through gphotos instead#// also that i miss blorbo so much i miss my old self so much she was so sweet and genuine and the passion and love and everything#// STUPID SEQUENCE OF PHOTOS the way my brain was so fucking rearranged i had to get up and make memes and take screenshots and then#// draw then COME BACK AGAIN to watch the thing that changed my life forever. AGAIN#// sorry was having technical difficluties in yokohama im back istok im normal (affirmation )#// this is literally all me before i started thinking about myself and wondering about my gender then the dysphoria came rushing in like#// some freshwater spring about to make a waterfall and i had to let it settle and get used to the ecosystem with two more years#// took a month where p4gsteam was booted up and i made my own save at some point and finished it on july 8#// clasped my hands and had a honeymoon period over. mimi <3 then the day after rolled around and i watched the .chair car adventure#// literally my first p4 doodles were mimi and adachi theres no fucking denying it theyre the og. theyve been with me from the start#// theyre so important to me theyre so personal they made me who i am thats why im so mad with the community i have to share them with#// because theyre all so different from me and i took that personally#// IT'S KOKAY !! look at how far ive gone. this is the biggest archival effort ive ever done my entire life ive grown branches#// farther than ive done before ive put such a variety of skills to use just to make myself food and manage this damn station#// and keep some sort of love alive which was all from me and is still from ME !!!#// crying while writing these tags now sorry okyakusan i'll clean it up soon#// these doodles really explaining my mindset from the start and how the grindset has never really changed at all#// it was all friendship for three years and still will be i love adachi i love gas station attendant so much THERE I'M SAYING IT#// cherry on top friend just dm'd me to get an actual job at a gas station IM SHITTING MYSELF#// happy anniversary to my genderest best friend and the most problematic uncle ive ever had#// we're all holding hands and theyre treating me to topsicles because it's all i could ever shamelessly want
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I need top surgery rn
#god i wish i could use he/they...#but they dont feel right!!#ive tried but [sigh].#like if i have to be perceived at all id rather be seen as masc ??? like im Just A Guy#but i still wanna do eyeliner so people just assume rrrrr#who the fuck invented gender binaries theyre gonna catch tjese hands#i do need top surgery tho. this i KNOW#tw dysphoria#vent post
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Waking up in the morning and discovering your favorite binder has died on you while you're trying to put your doccy who cosplays together for an event
Instant depression🪄
#doctor who cosplay#cosplayer problems#vent post#those of you that arent trans... binders are expensive. for the good ones you could be paying the same amount as fancy lengerie.#and im a broke college student so its very sad- but that said i DID get YEARS (over half a decade) of use out of these#years before the seams finally started to pop.#ive been a bit self conscious about my recent weight gain because it all goes TO MY TITS. and I FUCKING hate it.#gender dysphoria#body dysmorphia#like i dont mind being a bit chub/chunky... but my tits... they're not small when I dont keep the weight off.#i cant wait until I can afford top surgery. im tired of wearing binders and having my back adjusted by neck/back specialists constantly.#im also tired of being self conscious about my weight when I literally ONLY have a problem with my tits.#i should also elaborate that I live “stealth” in my personal life. most people do not know I am trans.#i live in Florida- it really isnt safe for me to live any other way.
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actually im kind of thinking abt how all the main players in the AU are probably way more mentally Not Great than it may appear at first
#like Alex is constantly worrying she isn't doing enough for her family and pushes herself way too hard physically and mentally bc of it#no one expects it out of her but she kind of just got herself into that mindset and ends up hurting herself by pushing too hard usually#(Rana is working with her to help break the habit)#Herobrine lived in caves for like 7 (I think. im too lazy to go check the rough timeline rn) years straight#like i already dont have to explain why thats bad on its own but hyperfixating on a dead civilization that long#to the point where you almost entirely forgot your first language is Worse.#he's had so many spider bites and eaten parts of spiders that he's literally just immune to the venom now#Rana you'd think would be better off since she's like the traditional happy cheery character but I guess that's also why she's Not#being happy is a choice to her. she's lived through some of the worst shit but she keeps persisting because the world needs more love in it#she's going to be happy out of spite despite all the odds and she wants to give that to others as much as she can#this girl walks in and out of the Nether every other month for potion ingredients like how 'okay' can she actually be really#Steve is probably like the most normal by comparison#but im not really sure how sane you can realistically qualify yourself to be when you've previously done DIY top surgery with a sword#that was not a fun day for neither Steve nor (pre transition) Rana but it worked! please dont do that again#no one else do it either neither of them would recommend it#he's not traumatized from that or anything but ill be damned if the gender dysphoria didnt win that day#but at the same time so did he. via the use of like 20 healing potions#thanks Rana#minecraft au mastertag
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is there an alternative to dykefag/fagdyke for people who aren’t attracted to anyone really. like i just want the gender of it
#smudgy.txt#i hate gender its so confusing#yes i want to be seen as a man. im not one but i want to be seen as one#growing up i felt gender envy for girls that looked like boys AND boys that looked like girls. i wanted to be them so bad#nonbinary doesnt feel right man feels like too much woman feels like too little#girl was the white sheet with eyes cut out i wore my whole life & now im trying to remove the sheet but#going full on to Guy feels like im just putting on another damn sheet#nonbinary too#xenogender feels the best but i couldnt tell u what flavor#i feel. divine. like space. holy#i look at myself in the mirror & feel. lost? like im looking at something that shouldnt be there#when i see other black trans men who've been on T i want to cry bc the thought i could be like them feels like home#but right now i feel like a formless thing some creature that used to float in space before being#forcibly pulled down to earth by fate. or gravity#i feel like i should have claws and horns and sharp teeth and a tail#i also feel like ppl should default to calling me Sir#while deep down i smirk bc i know a secret they dont: underneath the skin is a nebula. a canyon. a coral reef. a forest fire. idfk#its late & im tired & i should be getting ready for bed but instead im letting my brain wander (bad idea!!!!!)#& dysphoria is making gender feelings consume me. pouts
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realising ur trans is so stupid bc before yes it felt like life was just always gonna suck no matter what I did and I was doomed to low-mid grade misery with occasional high grade sprinkled in forever and all I could do was not dwell on it as much as possible but now I know what's probably causing it and that there's a way forward I actually have to do something about it and I don't know where to starttt
#dont mind me venting#its fuckin weird bc ive known since college but i haven't??#like i was all its fine if everyone irl still calls me she and a girl and daughter and most organisations i interact with still deadname me#spoiler alert it was not fine#but i just shoved it all down so far and was like wow i have no body dysphoria#even though i quite clearly did#and haha im glad i don't need to engage with anything medical#and now im pretty surei di and im scared#the last three months have been a revelation lemme tell u 😅#and through all of it im working with feelings that disappear if i look straight at them#bc im so used to supressing them im having to actively work to feel them#but i just know i cant ignore them i can't carry on as i am its downright irresponsible when there's a chance i could be happy#and it would just cone back up even if i shoved it back down#im just#im tired man and its overwhelming#anywayyy dont mind me its all good really 👍👍#i told my mum thats something right#mine#gender adventures with neednoggle#vent tw#ignore me#imma get up and go for a walk that'll help#i worry im acting like being nonbinary without dysphoria isn't being trans#it absolutely IS#it's just not who i was or am and so it feels like i wasn't properly out to myself#and am only now properly realising i am trans?#like before it was just another hollow identity ig#but it was still just as trans and it is for anyone else too#p sure im still nonbinary just over masc side#but at not that masculine lmao
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my specialest little detail about applestrike is she actually has a second voiceclaim. her main one is ada rook but when i was still deciding who it would be bert mccracken was actually the runner-up. i thought it was fun to imagine my transfem kitty with a male voiceclaim (tho bert is pretty high pitched) but i ended up picking rook because i love her and it felt easier in the long run for applestrike to have a female voiceclaim. but bert will always be another option in my heart
#posts#there is something that just Vibes about using a straight up dudes voice for my girl character. esp since i play a lot with gender and how#transition works for my warrior cats#in the end i decided applestrike has doen some sort of vocal training. but there are definitely cats who dont do that#there isnt really any physical transition for my cats. i do leave in dysphoria but just have them cope in other ways#bc i dont have any transphobia lol. so they dont have to worry about others reactions to their appearance#i dont put a lot of weight into appearance when it comes to gender#i havent really sat down and ironed out everything i just play it by ear#i have yet to center any plot around a characters transness. maybe someday idk. im preoccuppied with applestrieks political journey#if anyone thinks my choices are bad consider that ur wrong. i dont feel like writing disclaimers rn
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thinking abt compulsory transmasculinity (a thing that affects me and only me and is not a real thing at all)
#I just think a lot abt how even as a child. like 6-7 years old I was CONSISTENTLY treated like a weird creature because of my personality#like#actively getting excluded from stereotypical girl things because of how i looked and interacted really made me question from an early age#if any of this gender stuff even matters. That’s why i get so weird when trans people say that all of us experienced gender dysphoria before#puberty. bc i have to sit over here like “well actually- no”#because without a doubt there was a time i WAS a girl and wanted to become a women. Just a lot of people in my life didn’t treat me like one#so i spent all of adolescence going “well it looks like being a teenage tomboy he/him dyke is getting me results so ig im just this now”#and dont get me wrong 16 year old me loved being that but now im 21 and realizing that#well… maybe i want to wear skirts and make up and have people to buy me flowers#and have someone put their hands around my waist and like. protect me. idk you can do all of this as a tboy or enby but#there’s a lot to think about in how exclusion in development contributed to what i deemed “worked for me” and what didn’t
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people around my age who call me "mademoiselle", "lady", "woman", etc. catalyse a fatal error of Gender Disconnect and Failure within my brain. ouch.
#how do be gender weird while presenting femininely in a non woman way#and be seen as a gender neutral human bean#this induces more frustration than dysphoria. like im good with my inevitably feminine body.#but people just. misgender me too much. and i hate that i might have to use pronouns that dont fit me#or limit my gender expression to a subset that is ''''unmistakeably'''' ''''non-binary''''#im feeling like watery mush rn. ig ill put dresses back in the closet again.#i cant even dress masc cuz then people will tell me i look like a kid.
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I need a binder with zip in the middle for work but that shit is expensiveeeeeeeee
#gender dysphoria tw#but because i couldn't use my binder for the last 3 days ive been thinking#i kinda need it now#but my back is like “pls dont use it all the time or ill die”#and wtf am i suppose to do when i go back home#i dont use bras anymore its either binder or nothing cuz im cool like that lmao#but there will be questions#and i definitely cant do that in the summer#ugh#i need these outttt#but im never having money or the support for the surgery#ah#vent
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He hello yes my gender today is shouting
#Thinking about how few people percieve me as my gender#Like i on its not the most straightforward gender (i.e all of the above#In a shifting gradient)#But cmonnnnnn#I go to a church full of gay people and i tried to tell my favorite person there about my gender and she was just like oh I dont care what#Pronouns you use you are a cool person#And i thought hell yeah#But she keeps calling me a woman and she also misgenders another nonbiney person in the group who HAS their pronouns listed on digital call#And im like please I would like the queer community to recognize me#I have a group of friends that see me gender!#And i love that!#But its not like Everyone knows I'm Gender#Basically#I Have to be the most gender person in this target or I'll Die#I'm good im just auggh#I guess this is a form of dysphoria huh#The whole not wanting to be perceived the way people perceive me#Neat
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I need to know why it makes people so unreasonably upset to suggest that some dysphoric trans people probably should be considered intersex. Do you just. Hate trans people? Or is it because anything that makes trans physical isn't allowed?
It has been stated many many times that not all trans people have dysphoria, and not all trans people that do experience the same dysphoria. It has been harped on that gender is social and about presentation and isn't binary. Fine. But somehow when I or people like me talk about having physical and immutable dysphoria that doesn't stem from social means it's not ok. When I bring up that yes, some parts of the brain control your hormones and gonads, and yes, some parts recognize what you are and should look like, im treated like a fucking gender critical.
Why is it wrong to say that parts of the brain do in fact qualify as sex related because that's what they are for? If they dont physically square with the binary(naturally, not through intervention) then that person is not binary/intersex in their physical disposition by definition. It's not exactly a hard concept to grasp.
And because I have to, no, most aspects of the brain are not related to our bimodal sex system. There can in fact be gender/sex nuance in certain parts of the brain without claiming male and female type brains exist as a whole. Fear of some shitty crack pot idea should not prevent people from understanding scientific inquiry and research.
Being intersex does not make the trans experience more or less valid/real. But I'm tired of pretending I'm a man for reasons that absolutely don't apply to me. Nothing about my being trans has anything to do with how I want to socially be, aside as an extension of others viewing my body as I wish it to be. If there is really room in the community for all of us, then my saying that some of our experience is different shouldn't be a problem.
EDIT: Thank you for some of your responses. I would like to amend my statement slightly. When I mentioned intersex I was more trying to imply, as I lacked a better word, that it is clear some if not most trans people that experience dysphoria have a physical developmental reason for that, likely epigenetic, genetic, and pre natal conditions. This type of sense is in most people, including cis people, hence why you cannot train someone to be a gender they aren't(no desistance of gender identity in both cis and trans people regardless of treatment). If intersex is to be interpreted as things exclusively affecting external or internal primary sex traits(as to be read, physically involved in the act of procreation) that are only ever natal, then I am ok in accepting intersex is not the best fit(except for that PCOS study but not super relevant rn).
That being said, I do still believe it is a part of sex and sex/gender development and that it is a physical condition(most anatomy based dysphoria). I don't see why it being a part of sex and sex development is a problem, when it has no other answer that satisfies our actual understanding of the condition and those peoples experience. Anything based on socialization has been disproven time and time again, so when are we going to stop acting like this
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im gonna yap about a theory i have because I like your au 🥺 a lot 🥺 I will marry you forever 🥺
anyways. so basically we see astro being like bro dandy can u knock that shit OFF.. ur WEIRD!! there is no past life do you need to get diagnosed with a mental illness and dandys like bro 💔 where the fuck did your four arms go 💔 /silly
but like i bet you dandys just spouting shit about their past lives just to see if ANYBODY will remember and everyone is like man not this guy again. shut up bud what the freak do you mean sprout and cosmo were gay. glisten is a GIRL not a BOY what is WRONG EITH YOU (free my boy 💔 give him some testosterone 💔 /silly)
but then. there’s always a few people who think about it a little bit too hard. idk who but it just kind of starts falling into place? especially glisten in particular, considering glisten’s the one who’s like “i dont feel right” (as mentioned in that tiktok u made). so when he (or she yk what i mean) starts hearing all about this “past life” and how he apparently used to be a guy he’s like. well. that explains why the gender dysphoria is so prevalent
question as well - we know that the producers made all these changes. but like, do the toons agree with them? like in the glisten example, do they think it’d be weird for him to be a guy in the reboot?
anyways yeah. i like this a bunch :)
Im so happy that you do like my au! To answer your question with the changes, the toons themselves dont know that they have been changed, only some of them have a gut feeling of something being wrong. But the rest are conpletely clueless and happy with their current situation.
#dandy's world: rebooted#dandy's world: rebooted au#dandy's world#dandys world#dandy's world roblox#dandys world au#dandy's world au
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