#im not trying to start a fight im just saying

[smutoperator]

Could I challenge you to a short writing challenge?

20 mins to write a piece involving the 3rd idol on your Tumblr Dashboard, inspired by the first thing you see when you look at your window.

3rd idol in my dashboard: Nana (well more of an actress these days but whatever)

First thing I saw: the neighbor's window.

Photoshoot Imaginations

Im Jinah (Nana) x Male Reader

Tags: anal, choking, couch sex, dream, facial, filming, intense positions, model, painal, rough sex, quickie

Word count: 1190

It was just a regular day as you woke up and looked outside your apartment window. However, your eyes clearly set sights on a beautiful tall woman taking a photoshoot right by the window.

You picked up a binocular and zoomed in on Nana's beautiful body as she followed the instructions of the photographer. Instantly you had fallen in love with her and wanted to be the guy taking those pictures of her.

Nana went to the dressing room, switching to a black lace lingerie that made you go crazy, lying on the couch as she prepared for the next round of the session, staring at you with fuck-me eyes.

It was far from Nana's first time in that situation. "You want to fuck me, don't you?" she asked. You were embarrassed to answer, trying to keep it professional, but Nana knew she was right. "No need to answer; I can tell you do," she said.

"Sit here," Nana said. As soon as you sat on the couch, she started grinding on your lap, grabbing your camera and making sexy moves. "Wow, I look so hot in those photos; you did such a great job," she said. "And for that, you'll get what you want," she continued, quickly ripping your clothes. You tried to slow her down, but to no avail, as she quickly stripped you fully naked and started sucking your cock.

Nana knelt on the couch, letting you fuck her face for a tease. She grabbed her phone and started filming herself choking on your dick. "I look so pretty with your cock in my mouth, don't you think?" she asked as she bobbed her head on that shaft and sloppily gagged on it. As soon as she was done, you ripped her bra off and tossed her on the couch, taking every single piece of clothing off her body in a snap and diving into her pussy. "AHHHHH SHIT, YESSSS," she moaned as you buried your face in that mommy cunt.

Just a few seconds later, you were already pounding Nana's perfect pussy in a pile driver position, using her long legs as a support. you fucked her pussy really hard from the start, Nana stretching her arms to film herself getting pounded like crazy. You groned like an animal and made her body shake. "AH, FUCK BABY," she screamed as you grabbed her long legs and pressed them against her body while she kept getting plowed in that couch.

You violently choked Nana as you drilled her cunt, and she fingered her clit. "Oh, I fucking love that shit; don't stop, don't stop." It was all she could say as your cock kept hammering her pussy nonstop. Her eyes rolled, she moaned and screamed. You tossed her body in the couch and gave her an animalesque missionary fucking, getting on top of her to the fullest and pounding her pussy many more times.

But Nana showed she could fight back, flipping you around and positioning herself to sit on your cock. "God, you're so fucking hot and sexy," you said as she got herself on top and started bouncing on your dick, making loud noises as her body hit her hips at full speed. But you quickly regained control, grabbing her neck from behind and thrusting upwards into her pussy. "Oh my God, I love your balls smacking into my clit," she said. Both of you now dueling to see who was leading the ride, as Nana quickly countered and picked up more speed, you took her phone to film her ass bouncing on your cock. "That ass is beautiful," you said as she used it to make moans in your cock and clapped her cheeks against your crotch.

However, you quickly wanted to be in control again, grabbing Nana's long legs and placing her in a full nelson, manhandling her pussy, and grabbing her clit and tits from behind, making her cum all over your cock as she got pounded. You turned her around and drilled her pussy hard again, pushing her body in your direction as you choked her really hard. "Look at me, bitch, you're gonna do whatever I want, just like in that photoshoot," you said. But not before Nana made you a final request.

"Put it in my ass, please," she said. You put her body in the couch sideways, shoving your cock up her butt while grabbing her phone to film it. "Spread that ass for me and keep playing with that cunt while I fuck you, bitch," you said, spreading Nana's legs as you enjoyed her playing with her wide-open pussy.

"Take that fucking cock, you horny bitch," you said, drilling her butthole and making her scream. "Come here, get on all fours," you said after you were done putting your cock back in Nana's asshole.

Nana felt the pain as you thrust into her asshole like a madman. "AHHHHHHH," she screamed in pain as your cock destroyed her asshole, her face turning red as she got drilled harder and harder in an animalesque doggystyle position. You spanked her ass and treated her like an anal fleshlight, showing no mercy for her increasingly sore butthole.

"You like being spanked, don't you?" you asked Nana, beating her cheeks like a drum. "Bet you like being topped too, you fucking bitch," you continued, mounting on top of Nana and stretching her ass in a crazy prone bone position that made her body. "OH MY GOD, IT FUCKING HURTS," she screamed, but you just didn't give a shit, only pushing hard as soon as she said those words. You were determined to make her unable to walk for a while, drilling her butthole harder and harder as the time passed by, stomping on Nana's pretty face and choking her as you turned her asshole into a massive crater.

You tied Nana's arms behind her back and kept pushing deeper and deeper in her butthole. "AHHHHHHH," she screamed, only making you push deeper as she lost her breath and her cheeks kept getting clapped and spanked. Nana clung to the arms of the couch and rolled her eyes, but your cock is now just an unstoppable force meeting the unmovable object that was her asshole as you fully topped her.

Such intense sex meant it didn't take long for you to cum. Nana's amazing body had meant you were close to draining your balls just 15 minutes after starting pounding it. You needed to end this in a perfect way, and you knew it had to be by unloading in that pretty mommy face. "Give me your face, you slut," you ordered as you pulled out and shot ropes and ropes of cum in her mouth, eyes, nose, and neck. Nana smiled as she enjoyed being glazed with cum while you took a picture of her to save for posterity and then said.

"Clean yourself, bitch; the photoshoot has just begun."

But as soon as you said those words, you woke up from your fantasy, the walls of your bedroom painted with cum. You then looked at the window.

The woman was gone.

[angelixxsweetheart]

Something about...(Jinx x fem reader)

(NSFW mentioned!)

Men and minors dni

something about Jinx having a gamer girlfriend (modern au?) (first post kinda nervous)

warnings: fingering, teasing, grinding

have been thinking about this one all the time bcs imagine her just sitting on your lap and watching you game (i need her)

sfw

- as shes a really touchy person, I can picture her coming home to your shared place, noticing you sitting on your PC and immediately making herself at home on your lap if she just wants to be close to you

- of course, youre used to it already, wrapping her arms around her waist while holding her close and still trying to play your game properly

- if youre not in a discord call, she would lightly push off your headset so that you can properly hear her rant about her day, talking about all the things she did and what annoyed her (she would do the same even if youre on a call)

- if youre not a PC but rather console player, she also enjoys you spooning her, Jinx resting on your chest while youre arms are wrapped around her waist, holding her close to you as she watches you play any game

- would probably like to play them herself sometimes but dont expect her to not fuck things up, if she can blow something up, she would do it without hesitation (i can picture her being an absolute menace in RDR2)

- she actually loves it when you rant about your game and if its one she finds interesting herself, she would 100% try them out

- loves asking questions about it just to hear you yap

- also loves it when youre resting between her thighs or when shes spooning you, watching you play and cheer you on while fighting a boss fight (if you win, she would give you a kiss or squeeze you like a plushie while saying "thats my girl" or just praising you somehow)

nsfw

- if shes feeling very needy while sitting on your lap, she doesnt even look at your game, not caring if youre on a call in discord or playing games that you cant simply pause like Valorant

- she would start to kiss your neck, sucking on the skin and leaving hickeys while youre trying your hardest to concentrate on the game and be quiet so that your teammates wont hear you

- her fingers would 'magically' slip underneath your shirt, especially while youre in a fight and it would get harder and harder for you to concentrate as her hand would roam over your sensitive stomach, finding your breast and squeezing the flesh or teasing your nipples

- "Whats wrong? Youre acting so strange, toots" She would say, her lips wandering lower as she would lock her pink shimmer eyes on your face, noticing how youre trying to hold back any sounds or curses

- if you mute yourself on call to try and talk to her, she would either play dumb "im not even doing anything, is it a crime to touch my pretty girl?" or she would say "youre muted, they cant hear you anyways, just wanna feel you right now"

- she would easily slip herself between your legs after lightly grinding your thigh, kneeling down infront of you and undoing your pants, fingers coated in your wetness as she began to fuck you with them ("such a pretty and wet pussy, all for me?" "And I barely even did anything yet")

- she would tease you, hearing you moan out her name or wanting to chase after the pleasure she gives you while moving your hips, she would definitely say things like "look at you toots, enjoying me fucking you like this"

- if she made you lose your focus that much that you lost the game but still managed to make you cum, the blue haired girl would apologize and maybe even feel a tiny bit guilt, making it up to you by just sitting on your lap and being pretty (not without leaving hickeys)

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SEND REQUEST I WANNA WRITE MORE AND IMPROVE OMG (this sucks ass)

[sturn5iolo]

DREAM MAKER & HEARTBREAKER

synopsis: chris had been ignoring you so you show up to a party looking for him, just for him to be with another girl.

pairing: frat boy! chris sturniolo x f!reader

warnings: drinking, angstish??, “no strings attached”relationship, not proofread

mellys note!!: this plot came up in my head while i listened to the song “moon river” by frank ocean… why?? idk? so enjoy

the sound of music blasted in your ears. you were at a frat party, mainly for chris. you knew he was going to be there. you and chris have been an off and on situationship, you knew you loved him. but did he love you?

you walked around trying to look for him, sparing a “hi” to anybody who came up to you but quickly walking away. you were so desperate to find chris because he had been ignoring you for a good few days and something in you made you feel weird. a pit in your stomach bothering you, telling you to look for him.

passing through all the drunken people who stench of alcohol and weed, you finally made it to the living room. your eyes wandered until it made it to the couch. there was chris.

but he wasn’t alone, a skinny brunette girl sat on his lap. her fingers ran through his hair, her other hand resting on his chest as he whispered something in her ear that caused her to laugh. you saw the way his lips tickled her ear, the way his hands stayed on her thighs and the way they laughed and conversed together.

jealousy started seeping out of you, but you stayed in place. your teeth dug into the insides of your cheek and your eyes watered. why were you so upset about this? you question in your head over and over.

you quickly pivot and start to go towards the kitchen counter. there you start to mix all types of drinks into a red solo cup, not even caring about how you will feel the next day. all that you could think about was chris and the random girl.

the alcohol went down your throat quickly and gave you a quick burning sensation. you winced at the taste but you just wanted the drunk feeling.

1 drink turned into 3 into 5 into too many you forgot to count. after taking probably your 9th cup, you hear someone talk to you. “think you’ve had enough?” a deep voice spoke, you look to your side, it was one of chris’ frat brothers. “ohhh heyyy! honestly no i think i need more.” you hiccup out.

before you can grab a cup, chris’ frat bro takes it away. “nope chris will kill me if i let you.” you roll your eyes, “ugh why should he care! he’s with that other girl.” the guy looks at you with his eyebrows furrowed and then chuckles, “damn girl your wasted.”

not even letting him say something else, you turn around and start walking away, not wanting to continue this conversation. somehow you made it outside, the cold wind hit you like the speed of light making you shiver a bit. you sit down on the curb of the sidewalk.

“need some company?” a familiar voice questioned you, chris. your roll your eyes once again and choose to ignore him. you hear him grunt as he sits next to you, “what do you want?” you slur. “well i heard your drunk and alone so i knew i had to find you.”

you twist your head and look at him. you haven’t seen him up close in a few days so you take in his features, and the way they glow by the moonlight. “whatever, go back to that girl you were with.” you whisper but he had still heard you. chris’ tongue glides over his teeth as he nods. “what you jealous?”

you scoff at him, “of course i was chris…how could you ignore me for days then go off flirting with her.” you say “we aren’t official..” chris tries defending himself.

at this point your speechless, you knew he was right so what’s the point on fighting back on this? you both go quiet not having anything else to say to each other.

you stand up very quickly, making you wobble a bit almost losing your balance. “welp im going to head back home! no point of having me here.” you quietly say the last part. chris stands up with you, “did you drive here yourself?” he questions you genuinely curious. you nod at him and try to walk away.

chris grabs your arm, “then no your not. you’re not driving back yourself.” you groan at him, “im not going anywhere with you?!” crossing your arms and standing in place. he rolls his eyes at you and bends his knees. you look at him confused until you feel yourself being lifted off the ground. the quick action made you dizzy, chris held you bridal style and started walking towards his car.

“put me down!” you whined out to him, but he ignored you. unlocking his car and putting you in the passenger seat. he reached over and grabbed the seatbelt buckling you in, “your so damn stubborn all the time jesus.”

[mymoshangthoughts]

oki i know we've all just chosen to accept that beatings are a part of demon mating culture and like, i dont think thats 100% wrong, but also thinking about linguang-jun's reaction to seeing shang qinghua beaten at the ascension incident, im kinda hesitant to fall into it 100%

oki my biggest defense for it being a demon-culture thing is that sha hualing didn't show any disagreement when mobei jun suggested "three beatings a day" in that particularly hilarious conversation, but that's honestly pretty thin. we know that she loves binghe and she never makes any attempt to fight him or to have him fight her. if anything, she strives to avoid it

there's also the possibility that the 'beating' that linguang-jun witnessed the conclusion of was a particularly unromantic one via demon standards. he saw shang qinghua and said "oh you were clearly displeased with him" so mayyybbee there's something to the pattern of bruises that speaks to intent but again, that's pretty thin

so might i suggest, from my humble little insane brain, that rather than beatings being a demon-culture thing, mobei jun is just fucking weird

oki bear with me oki but i rlly like this idea a lot LOL

im not even saying that mobei jun is a sadist (altho def not opposed to that), im saying that my socially awkward icy demon lord just straight up has no good concept of how to get the attention of his intended and this is sincerely his best effort. there's no research, no demon custom, no human custom, it's just mobei jun desperately screaming "look at meeeeeee pleaaassseeee" in his own extremely unique way that fucking no one understands

i would defend that this is likely due to his fucked up childhood and trust issues. like maybe linguang-jun isolated him to such an extent that mobei-jun winds up relatively divorced from his own culture for courting and doesnt even fucking know the first thing about it. maybe he has some twisted history of "look the only time i was shown affection was during martial training, which were basically beatings, so beatings = affection, yeah?" or maybe he's just so stupid and desperate that he has no fucking idea and no real plan, he's just trying to get shang qinghua's attention by any means necessary

i sort of like a mixture of all of the above. like linguang jun was the only person who showed him more typical signs of affection, and that was the prelude to betrayal. so mobei jun doesnt trust those types of affectionate gestures. but when he received martial training, either from his uncle or in one of the handful of times he'd seen his father, it was at least useful. like he can remember getting beaten and know there was an honesty to it. beating him made him stronger, being strong helped him to survive, it was the truest affection he's received in his life. and look, mobei jun hasn't exactly put all of that together all of that in as many words, but the effect is long lasting. and not all of shang qinghua's beatings were out of affection either. ultimately, there's this suspicious as fuck cultivator who's groveling at his feet and mobei-jun isnt exactly keen on humanity to begin with. and with shang qinghua prone to more typical shows of affection, the way his uncle was before the Betrayal? he's not going to be tricked again! he'll beat the human into submission to prove that he's strong and he's not a small defenseless child anymore who can be so ruthlessly abandoned! but then he really does start to develop feelings for shang qinghua and really does want his attention and qinghua simply wont look at him. sure, he'll throw out a million words of groveling and acting pathetic, but what does any of that even fucking mean?! does qinghua only see him as a king? does qinghua even see him as that or is he waiting for a chance to betray him? how can he get shang qinghua's attention? how can he keep him? and so he thinks about his only fond memories of 'affection' and starts the habit of beating qinghua lightly three times a day. it's gotta work. it totally has to work. it MUST be working, bc qinghua just told the demon emperor that acting pathetic is a way of showing affection!!! SO CLEARLY QINGHUA MUST LOOK AT HIM NOW RIGHT?!!? but their relationship just doesnt seem to be progressing and after the qinghua saves him from falling, mobei jun now has a brand new "height of being show affection" memory to cling to but its... very much the opposite of his memories of being beaten. and a whole lot better too. being caught by shang qinghua and protected in that way has his heart thudding every time he remembers it and suddenly beating qinghua has lost its appeal. how can he do something for qinghua that matches that feeling??? because now it feels poultry to offer qinghua mere beatings when those barely even seem enjoyable for qinghua anyway??? and he doesnt particularly enjoy qinghua acting pathetic for him either, even if he knows theres affection behind the gesture, and qinghua always acts extra pathetic during beatings so thats another reason to lay off. so mobei jun is in the middle of contemplating this shit and stops beating qinghua so much when suddenly its time for his ascension ceremony and he drags qinghua there with him and now qinghua is talking about leaving him and mobei jun's heart just about shatters. is it because he laid off on the beatings? is it because qinghua was always planning to betray him, the way he always feared? is it because mobei jun misread this whole thing? in front of his dead fathers door, a man who never gave much of a fuck about him, while anticipating the arrival of his horrible uncle, vulnerable and reminded of every reason he's never trusted traditional shows of intimacy and so he tells qinghua to fuck off, beats him without any affectionate intentions, and greets his uncle in heartbroken misery. but then qinghua COMES BACK WHEN HE NEEDS HIM and he apparently always hated the beatings which is a blow but also now QINGHUA IS LEAVING HIM AGAIN AND THIS IS HELL, MOBEI IS IN HELL RN.

and not to mention, he witnessed linguang-jun beating shang qinghua and suddenly, he doesnt even know why he ever thought beatings were all that affectionate either because this is horrible and he hates it and mobei jun is Not Equipped To Cope With Guilt, it's not something he's been trained in and he is not coping with ANY of this well tbh, not his uncle, not his heartbreak, and he just wants the familiarity of shang qinghua's normal pathetic behavior. something normal. something to ground him. but shang qinghua is not normal right now and he's still planning to LEAVE and mobei jun is all panic, no thoughts. and now shang qinghua is saying shit like "you only beat me cuz i was easy-going and weak" and ow? that hurts? and then shang qinghua is saying he was only ever indulging mobei jun and OW? THAT HURTS?! and mobei jun is prideful and in pain and upset so he's relying on familiar emotions. being angry. being prideful. being haughty. pretending he has any control over this situation. unsure how to act outside of their normal dynamic. unsure how to respond to this very different side of qinghua. but no matter what he says, qinghua is leaving. qinghua pinches his cheeks and insults him and calls him spoiled even when he's seen directly how his own uncle treats him and calls himself his father in front of the room where his father lies dead and yeah, it hurts when qinghua pinches his cheeks. not just the physical pain, but the knowledge that qinghua wants to hurt him. that hurts most of all and it's pathetic but mobei jun's head is swimming with the knowledge that maybe violence was never a good idea between them but what else can he do in this situation? he's completely out of his depth! so he threatens qinghua not to leave and he still LEAVES

so now he's trying to find qinghua and the entire time his mind is a complete mess of emotions because was he wrong all this time and qinghua cannot be gone, thats unacceptable, and what can he offer to make qinghua stay? how can he possibly not lose this person?? and the best he can think of is to let qinghua hurt him in return, let him get his licks in, and maybe that will help

but shang qinghua doesnt hit him when offered and qinghua seems a bit scared of him and for the first time ever that seems kinda fucking awful and mobei jun is out of his depth, but the warmth he feels when shang qinghua wont hit him is really... something. and maybe theres a lot more shows of affection he should be learning, like the feeling when someone could hit you but chooses not to. and look, he's starting from abysmal standards. and yeah, when shang qinghua suggests he cook for him that sounds weird and demeaning and mobei jun instinctively wants to turn it down

but when he thinks about how it might be a way to show affection that they both appreciate, he's really determined to see it through

anyway thats a verrrryyyyy long over-explanation as to why i dont think the beatings are demon culture, i think mobei jun is just a terminally awkward traumatized weirdo who doesnt know how to communicate

[canisbrutus]

Hey I really like your headcanons !!! What’s your view on the main three’s relationship with each other?

why thank ya, color me flattered lol. let me see.. this will be Long

Gary & Jimmy 🐍🐕

tragic doomed toxic yaoi etc etc

ultimately they're two sides of the same coin, opposite eachother in a way. both are simultaneously victims and perpetrators, though they differ in motive and response

while jimmy might be too daft to realize, gary knows this and absolutely hates it.

like a fine mix of admiration jealousy and spite

jimmy meanwhile is just fed up his bullshit

but at the same time he doesnt *hate* him.

jimmy doesnt really hate anyone tbh hes just easily pissed off

after the betrayal jimmy is annoyed at best and personally hurt at worst. but he can shrug it off with ease. he doesnt hold grudges

which is yet another thing that drives gary nuts

before the betrayal though. jimmy made gary feel Weird. jimmy's too genuine. too upfront. too honest. Too Real.

he took their friendship seriously. very very few people willingly stood beside gary, minus petey who we'll get to later

and that made him ? scared. confused even. absolutely nobody could be equal with him. even if he liked their relationship

anyway. this vvv

Petey & Gary 🐇🐍

petey primarily hung around gary because he was familiar and it was better than being alone, yes.

but also, these two go back a fair ways. like elementary.

as such, petey knows more about gary than he would like him to.

gary has been through a Lot. he's also Lost a Lot.

petey is one of the few 'things' he has left that really means anything to him.

or. he was, anyway. before the betrayal

shortly after the fight in the pit he got in an argument with gary. cut him deep where it hurts. mentioned something he maybe shouldnt have.

got beaten bloody and thrown away. and gary devolved from there.

despite this petey doesnt really hold it against him either

there's some guilt to him. perhaps a bit of self loathing.

but he couldnt approach gary on his own. his nerves were too shot.

sure gary threw his friend jimmy to russell. and sure gary's been picking on him for years at this point. but to beat the shit out of him, his best friend, after he's stayed with him for just about a decade?

he couldnt trust him again

he hardly trusted him to begin with honestly, gary had been beating him down and making sure he knew whatever prior cuts he made at him didnt hurt in the slightest before.

thankfully jimmy isnt as sensitive as he is.

~~~~~

Jimmy & Petey 🐕🐇

poor kids. two peas in a pod thrown under the bus

petey may have been apprehensive of jimmy at first, due to his general attitude and knack for mayhem.

but as time passed jimmy showed his true colors and proved to be a Good person (if prone to manipulation)

it wasnt long before petey started to trust him more than gary. and after the betrayal, jimmy was all he really had.

(admittedly he did try to join the nerds but earnest called him a faggot and said no)

petey isnt meek. he isn't soft. his venom is often dwarfed by everyone else's, but he still holds a rage. even if he keeps it inside. part of him did want to get back at gary. but another part still felt concern for his old friend spiraling like mad. even moreso considering he pushed him the way he did, with that argument mentioned.

im saying this ^ bc he felt an obligation to advise jimmy on what to do, especially regarding gary. hoping he could get him calmed tf down so they could go back to normal, as friends, again.

but they werent particularly close. kinda like business partners. jimmy blowing him off half the time didnt help matters.

but again. petey didnt have anyone else.

just a poor guy caught in the middle of their homoerotic rivalry

~~~~~

i have so many lores for these stupid cunts.

anyway reminder that my inbox is open for requests in general. woof

[koalapastries-writes]

drivers with a partner whos feeling rlly bad impostor syndrome?

(omg im self inserting again wowwow whos shocked)

-bear 😔❤️

i got ya bear <3 (you're a great writer and your fics always always always make me smile)

arthur leclerc:

will immediately attempt to do whatever you're having imposter syndrome over

it's not a very well thought out idea bc if he is better than you then he's only making it worse

but luckily for you your boyfriend has one talent and it is Car

he fails spectacularly

claims it was all part of the plan to make you see how good you are

he's lying

he did not mean to fail that badly

only reinforces his point

kimi antonelli:

he'll be telling you how wrong you in two languages

maybe three

he's the child of the brocedes divorce he's definitely picked up a few german words from nico

"that's so stupid" mainly

anyway

if talking doesn't work he'll make you pasta

he's definitely gonna kiss your face until you laugh and agree with him

lando norris:

his kneejerk reaction is to just agree with you

he can't help it it's his humour

but then he'll actually process what you said and he'll get SO offended

acts like you're a hater on twitter

"who the fuck are you to talk about my boyfriend like that??? 🤨"

would probably start a stream for the sole purpose of asking the chat if you're bad at whatever it is

will verbally fight anyone who says you aren't because they're wrong

his pr team hate it but lando is very much of the opinion that people can hate him all they want but they CANNOT hate you

which includes yourself

(you always scold him when he says people should hate him, because he's wrong)

logan sargeant:

confused puppy

genuinely does not understand why you think you're bad

you could do literally anything and logan will still think you're the coolest person on the planet

will get genuinely upset if you talk badly about yourself

he hates it

eventually he'll just be pouting so much you stop bc you don't like making logan sad

he'll make you say at least 5 nice things about yourself before he stops pouting

ollie bearman:

will find a *LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER* to beep at you

will use it every single time you try to say something negative about yourself or your work

uses laughing at you for thinking you're bad as a strategy to switch what you think is embarrassing

i can't say if it works or not

but eventually you'll actually second guess your doubts because it feels sillier to think that than to think that you did a good job

oscar piastri:

he'll bring up something you did (drawing, piece of writing, whatever) from a while ago that he knows you've forgotten about and show it to you

when you say it's good (bc of course it is) he'll get the smuggest grin on his face

"exactly. it's yours. you're wrong. you're good."

will also go over several of your latest attempts at whatever it is you're feeling imposter syndrome over and ask you to point out what you think is bad

oscar will then explain how you're wrong and it's good

end of story

in a stubbornness contest i can guarantee that he will win

yuki tsunoda:

"that's stupid."

genuinely thinks you're dumber for thinking you're bad

would probably check for signs of a concussion or something just to make sure that's not why you're clearly not in reality

would probably leave it for a while after that

just long enough for you to think he's forgotten about it

then he'll start pretending to get imposter syndrome over his driving

you'll say everything you need to hear until you realise yuki's not actually upset

and he's just tricked you into comforting yourself

you grumble about making him sleep on the couch

but you both know you're bluffing

[cautionwetfloor-png]

Doodle request : Could you draw Torisai?

Also how are you today?

hiya fish!! im doing as good as i can. this week has been a bit hellish but,..... yours truly isnt dead yet, so its a win for me. thank you for asking!!

i hope this counts as torisai.. i think it being one sided is so funny ... just in case though a little bonus <3

[stressedjester]

Hey if anyone needs a good reason to stay off alcohol:

When you're an alcoholic you literally feel pain in your liver and kidneys. It's not something that just suddenly accumulates all one day and kills you by shutting your liver and kidneys down. It literally feels like you have 2 big bruises in your body where those organs are and it continually feels worse the more you drink (at least with my experience)

And this ends up leading to other issues like thinner blood (leading to easy bruising and bleeding becomes more dangerous), heart problems (I have mild heart pains from drinking heavily. Iirc it can lead to heart attacks as well), and constant bladder issues like UTIs and kidney stones (thankfully I only deal with the former currently at my stage, but even then UTIs are dangerous and generally uncomfortable at best and dangerous at worst)

Plus you genuinely start to feel tired and sick all the time. You get headaches constantly. You get body aches. It's not worth it in the long run. It really does wreck your body

[narwhalandchill]

oh my fucking god i feel. SO stupid rn at How i didnt make the (super sane very normal just absolutely. Yes. Surely) connection earlier but uhh

so anyway im now like 89% certain that whatever the "traces" of the narwhal that remain on ajax and facilitate their (ever-growing) innate connection are like. an actually fundamental aspect of it (them?) more or less.

why? because if you consider its pov just for a moment. the narwhal was literally about to depart teyvat for good. it had nearly finished consuming the primordial sea and preparing to breach surface to finish the job by eating the french for the leftovers their human bodies were made from. its an interstellar voyager it does not linger on planets it devours. it goes glug glug and it leaves.

and like if it wasnt for traveler intervening its confirmed through narzissenkreuz and renes world formula that teyvat wouldve just been destroyed. no one could have stopped the narwhal not neuvillette not focalors not anyone.

so what was the one other thing it did right before going for that french brunch? calling for ajax. getting them reunited in the primordial sea. like all the possible implications aside bc theres many different ways to speculate on the exact reasons why and the nature of that link. the point remains.

it wasnt leaving teyvat without finding him.

like the narwhal is about to fucking Dip from this cringe planet and whatever part of it that ajax carries within himself his narwhal Absolutely wanted to be reunited with. what the fuck am i supposed to read from that. hoyo???????!??! answers?!?!?!

and its not only the calling from the narwhal side itself either bc this is ALL coinciding with the growth of a 'restless power' within ajax and his vision malfunctioning (the things celestia is literally confirmed to harvest energy thru to repair its damaged authority) and his connection with the narwhal reaching an actual conscious level (arguably subconscious n emotional too bc i find it Curious his mood is poor right as the narwhal is repeatedly described as positively malding to the point its boss fight mechanic is literally a rage meter). ajax' power is growing. his destiny is starting to shift and something is drawing him to fontaine... right as the narwhal is getting close to finished with the primordial sea. funny how it overlaps eh. how it aligns 🤨🤨 why are they orbiting each other like this (they should kiss)

(& not to even Mention how ajax just Happened to get that absolutely exponential and borderline unbelievable feat of power spike in extending his foul legacy endurance as massively as he did. while. within the primordial sea. with his narwhal. who had at that point all but incorporated the power of that sea into itself. i s2g if childe was getting passive home turf co-op bonus exp with a 4x multiplier automatically the whole 40+ days 💀💀)

[rileys-battlecats]

PSA, keep your dog on a leash when you're in a public, unfenced area. dedicated to the lady that just tried to reassure me, "no she's nice! put your dog down! she's nice!" babe i believe you when you say your dog is nice. what you have not considered is that the dog I am holding is NOT nice and WILL attempt to attack your dog if I put him down. also we are RIGHT next to a busy road and there is Nothing stopping your dog from running into traffic. pls put her on a leash im literally begging you it is SO dangerous for her to not be on a leash here

[moonlit-dreamers]

so idea

since i love the idea of the bots having tails i decided to get Silly with some of my own thoughts (tho i always had this idea i just never said it lol)

sun and eclipse bots function differently with how they use their tail to express things

suns work like dogs

eclipses work like cats

which probably leads to a bit of miscommunication bc they misunderstand the differences- like a dog wagging its tail (usually) means it’s happy. meanwhile with cats it means they’re agitated/overstimulated and r probably about to run laps around a room or attack someone

sun seeing eclipses tail wagging and being like “oh he must be happy about something!” meanwhile eclipse is trying to not destroy everything in the room 💀 then the other way around with eclipse being wary with sun wagging his tail bc he’s worried that sun is upset and tries to avoid him

like idk man its very silly to me

[deus-ex-mona]

when the slowburn makes the ship extra cute~~~

[skipitty-bop]

i dont think ive made a post about it but i should so

half orcs reach adulthood at 14. so gum gum is quite young for a half orc, but he is NOT a child. do not treat him like so.

as an autistic person im sick and tired of stereotypically dumb characters being infantilized constantly. just treat him like any other character. thank you, thats all

[worstloki]

people just ignore Thor was a feral child, huh? like his life goal was probably to demolish another race at age 12 and he was probably begging to go to war and attempted to murder their father for not letting him via telepathy that he didn't have.

[nocontexttmbg]

can i be brave and say tmbw song ranking is insane. the top ten is exactly what you'd expect but their actual genuine masterpieces are at spots 100+

[professionaljester]

love my bad mental health, love being suicidal all the time