#im not there yet because i paused it make this rant

[subpar-celestial]

Just saw that scene in Rapunzels Tangled Adventure where Varian is pleading for Rapunzel to help him with his dad.

And look I understand both of there sides but where Rapunzel looses me is when the guards drag Varian away because he's in distress and she DOES NOTHINGGGG!!! I understand she's under a lot of pressure and stress with everything going on, but she just stands there. And all she says is "don't hurt him", how about telling them not to kick this 14 year old out into a severe blizzard that could KILL HIM.

She should have at the very least tried to convince him to stay there until the storm had passed and she could go with him to help. Yes by that point it'd be too late and yes Varian likely wouldn't have agreed but that's so much better than throwing this heavily distressed child into the harsh conditions of the storm outside.

All I'm saying is if I were Varian I might have kidnapped the queen too.

[brewed-pangolin]

I'm sorry if I got you sick, I promise it ends at some point (maybe, probably).

For your brain chemistry pleasure, Captain Soap Mactavish would 100% act all stoic and emotionless most of the time.

But imagine the times when that shell breaks.

You two curled up in bed, you ranting about something mundane. Except it's a full body, "let me flail to show you just how annoyed I am" rant. He finds it endearing, cracks a small smile and cuddles you closer.

(And the "ITS NOT CUTE, IM BEING SERIOUS JONATHON")

I'm not gonna lie, I had a bit of fun with this one. Had to add a dash of brat taming at the end because it just felt right.

Hope you like it 💛

You had hit your wits end the moment your body sank into the bed.

Every stress, every snarky comment, every disgruntled maneuver that was thrown at you came bubbling up to the surface as the soft cushion of your mattress molded to your frame.

Leaning back into the array of pillows set around you and the strong arm of your John draped over your torso, you let loose. Released the levee of a pent-up rant as he laid silent and stoic as ever at your side.

"Today was awful, John. Just awful. The second I walked into the office, my boss was already breathing down my neck. Pressuring me with his usual bullshit, reminding me of the deadline like I can't see the calendar hanging behind my desk, and constantly interrupting my progress like he's got nothing better to do.."

You paused. Taking a much needed deep breath in a desperate attempt to calm your nerves.

John's arms tighten ever so slightly around your waist, and he leans in further, yet you pay no mind to his glacial encroachment.

The sudden air flow only fueled the fire of irritation as the demon inside took over once more and continued on with your raging tirade. Arms flailing, accentuating every syllable as your expression grew steadily more cantankerous.

"Then, when I was at the store, I asked an attendant where the baking section was because they clearly renovated and moved every aisle around. To which this disrespectful little twat waffle told me 'open my eyes and read the signs' like I'm some illiterate moron.."

Another breath. Stoke the embers. And release the demonic presence of aggravation within until fully cleansed.

John's eyes lit up at your relentless attack on the events of the day. A smile curling into the corners of his lips, running his fingers along the curve of your hip that you completely ignored as you continued with your verbal and seething regurgitation.

"And to top it all off, while on my way home, I got cut off by an absolute monstrosity of a truck that was clearly driven by a man making up for something. Nice truck, sorry about your dick and you drive like an ignoramus kind of man. And.."

You halted. Voice catching the cage of your throat as his hand gripped into the flesh of your hip.

Your eyes cast down to meet his bright and albeit boyish gaze as he stared up with endearing contentment.

"John. What are you doing?" You ask. Irritated bite to your bellowing bark.

"Ye so cute when ya let loose, m'lass. Cannae help but admire ya."

His soothing timbre at complete odds with the emotional blaze rippling off your tongue. Which only furthered your enraged fire, feeling is ripple beneath your skin and culminate within the depths of your lungs.

"I'm serious, John. Why are you being so obtuse. I'm-"

"Obtuse?" He interjects. Faltering your angered resolve with a single word.

His authoritative persona extinguishing the blaze within as he pulls you down into the bed, tearing an exasperated gasp from your chest as hemoves to cage you underneath his hulking frame.

"Perhaps yer in need of a little attitude adjustment, yeah? Need ta release tha' pent up demon a'yers in a different way, hm?"

"John, I-"

"Nah, m'lass. Not John-"

His rumbling voice traveled like a tremor through the thick density of your bones. And his eyes pierced your soul to easily pull back the rigid curtain of your fiery will.

"I'm yer Captain fer tonight. An' I'm gonnae tame tha' fiery beast a'yers. Understood?"

You nod in response. Finding comfort in his command underneath him as he tore your aggression away with every steely nuance to his words.

"Need ya t'say it, m'lass." He advised sternly. Settling himself between your legs, pulling the faintest whimper from between your lips.

"Yes, sir."

"Good. Now let yer Captain take care a'ya."

And thus began the taming of your fiery attitude that ended with a broken headboard and an overly satiated mouthy beast.

Captain MacTavish Masterlist

[rotthepoet]

i’m still thinking about fwb/bsf!theo every day, the way you wrote his yearning drove me crazyyyyyyyy. do you think you would ever write out all the boys’ reaction when they finally get it confirmed?? walking back in at the party, clearly fucked out or (if they never come back down) when someone makes a comment on a hickey and you’re like “oh yeah theo got carried away” and they’re all like AHA GOTCHA and they’re like ?? have no idea what you’re talking about we’ve never been secretive. just like straight up gaslighting them as enzo gives blaise some galleons from their bet. theo becoming even more touchy in public and absolutely devoted to his girl. oh and their summer in italy???? good loooooooord. thinking many thoughts always

This message made me so happy. Im gonna be real, I had completely forgotten everything I wrote about them and I got to go back and read my old writing. Hand over my mouth like i dont know whats going to happen. Part 3??? Genuinely have no recollection of writing a full length fic about them. SO IM SO GLAD YOU BROUGHT IT BACK UO BECAUSE WE CAN HAVE CLOSURE!!!! WOOT WOOT (lowkey just kinda rambling in this. If we want a full, put together fic of summer in italy im so fucking down bro because mattheo is so pissy in this and I need more jealous bestie mattheo)

He was so gentle the first time he took you, his girlfriend, his lover, his. Finally his. Fuck, you were finally his. His hips rocked slowly into yours, pulling you into heaven with a blissful orgasm. But fuck it wasn’t enough. It was never enough with the two of you. Not with all the time Theodore had spent shoving away his feelings. Not with all the time wasted whike you cried over a boy who would “never love you back”

How stupid you both were for wasting precious time.

Throughly fucked out, eyes hazy and limping slightly while Theo guides you back out to the party. He fixes your dress for you, his hands lingering on your exposed skin without shame as he admired how the green lights darkened your new hickies and love bites.

His friends sat on a couch, each with a drink or joint in their hands, yelling and calling over Theo with excitement. They cant help but catcall you as well, noting your disheveled look.

“Got lucky tonight?” Lorenzo asks you tauntingly, nudging an unimpressed Mattheo, who can’t help but glare between you and Theo. His leg bounces anxiously, and Blaise sits further on the edge of the couch.

“Yeah, Theo got a bit carried away,” you hum in response, falling into Theodores lap as he sits down on a soft, green chair.

Mattheo’s gaze pierced through Theodore’s, smoldering with a look you couldn’t quite place. It seemed Theo hadnt noticed yet, with how busy he was sucking a new bruise onto your shoulder.

Draco sits up, a bit drunk, “What did I say? I knew they were fucking— fuckin’… little whores,” he laughed, “Thought you were so slick, but couldn’t keep shit secret.” He laughed.

Your gaze meets Theo’s, and you both know what needs to happen.

“What do you mean? Why wouldn’t I be making my girlfriend feel good?” Theo questioned, faux curiosity and confusion lacing his tone.

Lorenzo chokes on the smoke of his joint, eyes bulging from bis head. “The fuck? You—“ he paused, coughing up a lung, and Draco interjected with his prissy annoyance, “You said there was nothing going on between you two not even a week ago.”

You knit your brows in confusion, forcing down the smile trying to force its way onto your face. “I don’t think either of us ever said that… we’ve made it pretty obvious, y’know, that we’re together?” You debate, but you can’t bother listening to Lorenzo and Draco break out into angered rants as Mattheo stands suddenly from his seat. He shoves through the crowd, disappearing beneath the haze of vapor and smoke.

Theo’s eyes follow him, but his grip never loosens on you.

Thats a whole other problem there.

Blaise, waving off the bickering, nods his head at you. “And are you joining us at the Nott summer home this year?” He asked, and Theo grinned big, “Of course she is. Would miss my girl too much otherwise,” which only instigates another loud argument from both Malfoy and Berkshire.

His girl. Thats what you are now. Thats what you were always meant to be<3

[cupidjyu]

caught in the loving act?!

(maknae line) when he hears you talking about them fondly

genre: fond staring haha, fluff, smug haknyeon and eric, and sunwoo who's just always shy because that's what i solely believe in, hugs and cuddles notes: look who's alive and (not very) well 😚 enjoy this and ill probably get something fun out soon!! if school decides to cooperate... like imma be honest, i have time to write but im just too exhausted from studying to form any words at all TT word count: 1.3k

haknyeon

“Did I show you my new clothes?”

Haknyeon pulled off his earphones once he recognized your voice in another room. He knew that you had just come back from shopping but for some odd reason, you refused to show him what you bought.

With a huff, he silently sulked over how you were showing your best friend first. He walked over to the room, creaking the door open. And just like that, his face melted into something fond.

“What do you think?” You grinned, twirling in your new outfit as you faced the video call on your phone.

“Beautiful,” He whispered under his breath. Then he froze, realizing that he had just said that to himself. He grumbled and ignored the embarrassment that flooded him as he watched you reach into the bag.

“And!” You exclaimed. “I got something for the love of my life.”

He had to try his best not to burst out laughing at the nickname. He had never once heard you call him that.

You pulled out a sweater, holding it up to show your friend.

“Basic gift,” She remarked.

“No!” You whined. “I have a plan. He smells so good and so… warm. I’m going to make him wear it, it’s going to smell like him. And then it’s mine.” You also added in a mischievous laugh.

Your friend stayed quiet for a moment. And then she hung up after saying a small, “You’re absolutely crazy.” 

Haknyeon stifled a laugh when he saw you, standing there, mouth agape. With a huff, you looked down at the sweater in your hands.

“It was a good plan,” You muttered to yourself.

Finally, he pushed the door open and approached you. You turned to him in surprise, rushing to hide the sweater behind you.

“A very good plan,” He teased.

“Haknyeon?” You nervously whispered.

“And don’t you look pretty?” He murmured, stepping closer as he looked you over with soft eyes. “I enjoyed your little rant.”

You grumbled, cheeks flaming red. Filled with embarrassment, you shoved the sweater into his hands. “At least put it on…”

“Will do.” He grinned, taking it and putting it over his t-shirt. You looked at him in wonder. 

“It looks good.” You smiled in relief. “I was worried that I got the wrong size and it wouldn’t fit yo–”

He raised an eyebrow. “You’re going to steal it from me anyway.” 

You paused. And then you nodded, grinning smugly. “I certainly am. Have I mentioned that you smell really good?”

He smiled before hooking an arm around your waist and pulling you into a quick kiss. 

“You have,” He whispered. “And you can have it after I make it smell like me. Anything for you.”

You scrunched your nose. “So cheesy.”

sunwoo

Sunwoo took in a deep breath, rocking on his feet nervously as he grasped the bag in his hand. He was always nervous when he visited you at work. Even though you reassured him that your coworkers loved him, he was still conscious about their watchful gazes.

But still, he insisted on bringing you a proper lunch.

As he walked down the corridor, he stopped at one of the meeting rooms. Immediately, he could recognize your sweet, sweet voice–the one he adored so much. You were talking to your fellow workers and so he stood outside the door, listening.

“Sunwoo takes care of me so well you know?” You crooned. “He always tries to act tough but he’s such a softie. I just want to kiss him all over. Yet I’m here. Working nine to five.”

“Oh my god,” One of your coworkers spoke up. “You’re so whipped.”

You didn’t deny it. Instead, Sunwoo practically melted at your shy laugh. You were giggling. Over him.

“You just don’t understand.”

“I perfectly understand. I also have a boyf–”

“Bye!” You giggled. “I think he’s coming in a few minutes. And I’m going to kiss him. All. Over.”

Throwing the door open, you walked out, only for you to jump at the sight of him standing there. Instantly, you took note of his reddening cheeks and shy pout.

“Oh,” You breathed, tilting your head. “Why are you here so early?”

He only stayed silent, refusing to make any eye contact with you. You narrowed your eyes, smiling endeared.

“...what happened?” You teased.

He sighed, shaking his head. “I came early because I missed you,” He finally muttered.

You felt your heart practically explode. “Did you really?” You hummed. 

“And I–” He paused, wincing. “I heard you.”

That was what made you start laughing nervously. “You weren’t meant to hear tha– Sunwoo?” Your breath hitched once you felt his arms wrap around you, pulling you into a tight hug. Though, you quickly melted into his embrace, smiling when you felt a small kiss on the top of your head.

“What’s this for?” You murmured fondly.

“I missed you.”

“You said that already,” You laughed.

He only hummed in response, tightening his hold on you.

“You know…” You pulled away before pinching his cheek. “My coworkers can see the silhouette of us hugging right now.”

“Do you think I care?” He lifted an eyebrow. “Let them see.” You felt a hand close around your waist once again.

And they soon happened to witness the silhouette of the two of you… kissing.

eric

Eric sighed, fumbling with his keys to open the door, his eyes drooping too much to even focus on where he was walking as he stumbled over the entrance. He hated how work had to end so late, leaving him exhausted and worst of all–keeping you waiting.

He had expected you to be fast asleep, but he noticed that there was a light under your bed sheets, the figure of your body visible as well. You seemed to be talking to someone on the phone.

“Eric’s too energetic?” You spoke. 

He immediately froze, nervous over what you would say.

“No!” You refuted after, causing him to let out a low sigh of relief. “I mean he is energetic. But that’s why I love him.” You sighed dreamily.

“His hugs are the best and–” You cut yourself off with another fond sigh. “His smile.”

He leaned against the doorway, completely enamored by the way you kicked your feet around in the blankets giggling. He struggled to hold back a smile, feeling like he had fallen in love all over again.

Once he was sure that the phone call was done, he walked over to the bed.

“Didn’t you say that you were sleepy?” He whispered before laughing at the way the bundle of blankets jumped in startlement. He reached down, pulling the blankets off gently, revealing a very flustered person. 

“Eric, I–” You flushed, trying to yank the blankets over you to cover your face. But he shook his head, instead climbing in with you now that he was changed into more comfortable clothes. Then, since it was so natural, he pulled you in, cuddling close to your body.

“I love you too,” He mumbled, pressing a kiss to your neck.

Shyly, you gave him a weak slap on his arm.

“I didn’t even say I love you on that call,” You whined.

“But you described your love.” He smiled up at you lazily. “So why don’t you say it now?”

You could only laugh before pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “Fine,” You muttered. “I love you.” And you made sure to emphasize every word to satisfy him.

“That’s right,” He smugly grinned. “I love your smile too.”

“Stop,” You groaned. “Forget what I said.”

He shook his head and replied only with a loving press of his lips. “I love everything about you,” He eventually mumbled, leaving you to stutter incoherently late into the night.

[dilfhos]

sooo this is gonna be a messy rant on the observations ive made between different writer communities, blog interactions and overall “status”. just silly little things I’ve noticed in my 4+ years being on tumblr btwn 2 diff blogs. and this is about no one specific, a very generalized post so if you find urself offended i honestly dont know what to tell you?? :o do better ig. & if you relate, i feel for you. TLDR @/end.

i dont like interacting/ building connections with people but not for the reasons ppl think. im not stuck up or pretentious or weird or anything. just another anime-enjoyer who loves to write in her free time. nobody special by a longshot!! i enjoy writing, always have since before i was a teen. (wasn’t always ff tho!).

but over the years ive just noticed fandom writing has its gritty sides that no one talks about often and its no mystery why so many prolific/ popular writers deactivated, me included. i had some shitty experiences and have seen friends go bc of it.

firstly, I’ve noticed, once you start interacting and building friendships with people, it’s easier to see the bigger perspective of where ppl stand and the blatant hierarchy of friendships and groups. same applies to that outside. like its literally just me n’ my bsf then my acquaintances bc mfs be weirddd omg its like cults or something. like thats why initially I didn’t interact w/anyone starting on my new blog. that n’ fear of drama following from my last blog ugh. ‘Cept the few i’ve met on my old blog (like my wifey)

not to mention i have bad anxiety. and sometimes im cue-deaf. i dont always pick up what people put down and vice versa and it makes me conscious in a lot of my interactions. so a part of me doesn’t want to interact at all to avoid all awkwardness and possible miscommunications. that’s not to say i don’t notice subtle changes in interactions after one situation / conversation or so forth, that in myself or witnessed between other ppl. (im perceptive, just not that good conversationalist lol. like i really have to try.)

but then…if you don’t interact with people on here, your chances of building an audience or a reader base is slim to none. the likelihood of developing relationships is zip. because you’re already perceived and pegged as just another tumblr writer. pause. to clarify, a writer who doesn’t want any recognition or interactions from mutuals or new friends. or just a lonely writer? a introverted, lonely writer. which leads to little to none interactions (anons, reblogs, moots —exposure.)

so then its like you’re kinda placed btwn a rock n a hard place. and there’s absolutely no problem with that! in fact this is the best part—meeting friends and like-minded people! people that make being online all the more worth it right? thirsting over fictional characters and sharing in each other’s works!

but you have to be in specific circles it seems. but then you can’t imply that you want to be in those circles bc then you’re desperate.

but well, then you cant purposefully want to be independent or be on your own or else you’re a hater, hypocrite or stuck up. not to mention, no one will reblog your stuff lol. no one will interact fr, and you’re friendless essentially. and god forbid if you disagree on something as if opinions don’t exist btw! then you’re being ganged up on. (like omg grow up!)

but then if you reach out you’re seen as trying to wedge in or kiss ass? you interact and follow and you’re ignored or left hanging? (bc im gonna touch your hand when i say this—it never gave fan, your majesty of horny nerds) and this is about ALL the writing communities and fandoms—spicy content, black content and dark content. ALL.

yet no one wants to talk about the pregnant elephant in the room—bias. and favoritism. also people seem to have a hard time being direct with how they’re feeling toward/about someone ( in a good or bad way) which in turn leads to a lot of miscommunication and subliminal attacks. (not to mention hate anons? one of my moots just had her inbox flooded w/them recently, ew.)

you can lead a horse to water AND you can write a 500-word essay on the observations made on tumblr writers as a whole. (a long ass post on the truth on behalf of those feeling this too)

also, slapping a HEY LOOK AT ME! IM A WRITER WHO WANTS INTERACTION AND FRIENDS! on a blog is frankly embarrassing. it shouldn’t even take all that seeing how easy it is for others wanting the same thing.

or doing less to achieve the same result.

not to mention, yall shit on ppl who essentially feel this way altogether bc you peg them as sb who doesn’t “try” or just jealous when their own works are phenomenally written themselves. ive seen it. and ive lived it. never gave jealousy baby.

at the end of the day, we’re all writers— either longterm or hobbyists. (personally, im longterm) self-indulgent or not! and its absolutely amazing when people are being fair in how they spread love and feedback to their writers.

Secondly, its not news that people have to want to reblog your fics so that their followers can reblog, so they can reblog, and their followers can reblog and so forth. but ppl honestly dont care atp bc once they’ve already read it, they owe you nothing. and apparently asking for reblogs is crass and bold. (imma do it anyway) but putting your very all into a story just to turn and see a half-thought out hc soaring 3k in 2hrs and 5k in a day — you have to stfu, open your ass and take it. keep it cute!

you’re getting fucked after all!!

because if you complain—you’re just jealous and lazy and uncreative!! and i hate that to seem like a writer worth a damn, you have to change up your writing style every two weeks to fit in with trending waves.

“no more poetic long fics, nobody’s into that! short, snappy slutty shots are all the rage!” “ppl are only into these specific tropes but you can’t exceed 2k words!” “only add trending characters to these hcs! ppl love them only!” “don’t write too much about a specific character or else ill unfollow you!” its exhausting.

i am well within my right as a literary artist to desire more feedback and interaction on anything i put out. period. and you are too! 🫵

God, im tired of that stupid, ‘you have to enjoy your writing for yourself and not worry about notes’ line. i do love my writing! don’t get me wrong there’s nobody id rather write like if not myself fr. not to mention the inspiration i draw from famous literary authors. however, i would love feedback and the same energy that i see with others in my same caliber.

and when i see others that didn’t even try fr—its a slap in the face to put it bluntly.

i can want silly little comments and notes about something i cherish and put out for that reason and yall aren’t gonna make me feel bad about it. sorry! like yall really be making people feel shitty for wanting the same type of interactions you get! especially when its harmless, bye asf. nb want to recipe to ur peach cobbler b!

the only one giving push back are those appointed popular /top blogs n’ cliques tho. now personally, i honestly dgaf if you have 20 followers or 25k, writing is writing and if its good you should want to support it regardless of following count/interaction right?

unfortunately, and quite unsurprisingly its not the case for the rest of this hellhole lol. there’s always gonna be some “big blog” in any part of tumblr or any social media for that matter.

but when the sole purpose being on a site like tumblr to write is mainly exposure, then it just makes it ten times worse especially if it seems that these blogs are steady at the top of every. single. tag. and listen, i know how initially stupid that sounds but when you’ve picked up on patterns for as long as i have, well iykyk.

so imma be real bc no one else will, half of the posts that yall see with 25k notes have alr been done. just different characters, different words, different dialogue. And 8/10 its been done by sb who only received 100 notes. Thats the evil part. whats more is that it lacks the creativity the one post with 100-300 notes is filled with completely.

POP QUIZ! what post would readers be more inclined to read? — one that says 10k (ohhh that must be popular!) or the one with only 150 (oh i guess nb really liked that one) that no one is even willing to reblog for MORE. and BOOM. now yall wonder why so many great writers LEAVE, its a fucking joke.

so unfortunately its no longer only about or only on readers anymore. its about who you know and who you know is willing to support your fr. who is willing to REBLOG your fics for their friends and followers, so that their friends and followers can reblog. to fit in you actually have to get in these days and it makes it all less enjoyable. makes it a chore and if you aren’t ‘doing it right’ ultimately it makes you feel shitty about your writing. (Please don’t, you are doing amazing. its the platform.)

it makes people not want to jump into writing. it pushes away those who actually want to join writing communities and meet people without feeling like they have to jump thru hoops to thrive or worse—live in other ppls shadows. and then it deters those from speaking up in fear of being shut down by bigger groups. ive seen it happen time and time again.

lastly, and this is the juiciest part! you absolutely cannot say anything about any of this bc you’re complaining and a fisher just looking for attention and not someone who just want things to be fair all over. play the game, right? ( wrong. and if this is your logic, you suck! )

its no longer about making flashy banners and pretty themes. its no longer about how many clever directory links you add or how many games you initiate on your blog or whether or not you’ve reblogged your fic three times already. its about your “friends”, other mutuals, and blogs willing to support you too. not just the audience. audience gonna do what they want regardless. reblog, don’t reblog, whatever. “at least ive read it right?” but everyone knows this. duh! but it’s obvious who doesn’t care as long as they’re on top of that tag! its admirable in a way but it sucks for those wanting to break out and build some kind of readerbase and/or make friends.

TLDR; people need to stop being bias and be fair and open lol. stop picking favorites and share the love all around. you see another person writing your favorite character or trope, give them a fucking chance and reblog, regardless if they’re in your ‘circle’ / radar or not. regardless if you know them or not. hell, let them put you on to a new fandom. bc writing is writing and making new moots and finding new fics seem to be what everyone loves to showcase until its time to actually do it. no wonder people get discouraged to make friends and write, yall treat it like some kind of secret society when its supposed to be fun💀 not a competition. (yall need to dead this clique-y shit. )

[gtraccoon]

honestly feeling angsty at work so

a g/t trope: /unwanted/, but not really (and the names im using are just some of my favorite ocs :))

Vivina sat with her legs crossed, head leaned up against Otto’s neck. She loved them, and they loved her—she knew that for a fact—but there is a problem. There’s always a problem with her.

Otto is a human. Vivina was a borrower. She says was, because she doesn’t really borrow anymore��and that eats her alive. There’s nothing in the world she hated more than being useless, not being able to give back—yet Otto feeds her, helps her get around, houses her, all for free. For nothing.

It’s fair—at 4 inches tall, there’s not much you can do to help your human, and yet here she is, praying and hoping and wishing, doing everything she can.

Otto was ranting on about something, probably the Military again. They’d wanted to join since they were young, but they couldn’t: they never told Vivina why, either. It’s not like it mattered, that’s what they said.

“Otto?” Vivina asked suddenly, interrupting them in the middle of a rant about the Navy. “Oh, sorry—“

“No worries. What’s up?” They talk so softly, clicking onto a new tab on their computer.

“Er, so, uh, you want to join the Navy, right?”

«Да.» (yes)

“Why don’t you?” She sat up a little straighter, and they just hummed.

Otto paused, tilting their own head slightly. “Oh, I dunno. I wouldn’t want to leave you here by yourself,” they replied, clicking a few words into the search bar. Some Russian stuff.

“…Otto, am I holding you back?” They stopped again, pulling their hand back from the computer and lifting Vivina off of their shoulder, holding her in cupped hands infront of them.

“Vi, you know you don’t. It’s just a personal decision. I’d rather be here with you.”

“Are you sure? God, I just…” She trailed off, and they waited. Fuck. They always waited, patient, gentle, careful. “I just don’t want to be a liability.”

They furrowed their brows, avoiding eye contact for a moment. “You are far from a liability.”

“But I don’t help you. I’m not even noticeable.”

They frowned. “Vi…”

“I can’t do anything. I just… I don’t know, I sit here, and I watch what you do. Why do you even love me?” She felt her head ache, forcing back tears. “You could be so much more. You could do so much more; you’ll always be more than me.”

“Physically, yes,” they muttered, hoping for their partner to stop degrading herself. “And you are small. But that’s fine—you are my whole world, and that makes you way more important than just your body. I cannot express to you enough how perfect you are, everything about you.” They smiled weakly. “You do help me. You just don’t know it.”

“I love you, but how do I help you. At all?” She took light notice of their partner’s Russian accent, which was slipping through a bit. It tended to happen when they spoke quickly.

“When you came to me I was nothing, you know. I didn’t have family to go back to. I couldn’t enlist because I wasn’t old enough; I couldn’t go back to school because I didn’t have any money. I didn’t think I deserved a chance—“ They paused, momentarily, before tightening their hold ever so slightly on their girlfriend. “—but here you are.”

She couldn’t help but smile. She hated being proven wrong, but yet when it came from Otto it just… it was okay.

“Thanks.”

��If anything, I should be thanking you—you stay with me through everything.” Before she could reply, they continued, pressing their thumb softly against Vi’s side. “You are everything.”

—

there r prolly some fucking spelling mistakes but i’m a lonely queer guy like i just need to write some romance ok 😞

[brainrotgoverner]

FINALLY have time to watch an other episode of the Scracthed Universe series so I'm just gonna write this post as I watch it cuz I'm OBSESSED with them:

The way Jumpsuit signaled Fixer to get behind him permanently altered my brain chemistry. THIS is the reason I'm watching this series so slowly, im writing them a fic wherever they like of or not XD

Okey, pausing my 2013 fangirl rant to talk about how GREAT the infected are

The mutilated faces are a basic yet extremely effective way to show the virus. It corrupts their faces, like corrupted files. Because that's exactly what they are, they are in a video game and they are made out of digital blood and 01100100 01101001 01100111 01101001 01110100 01100001 01101100 guts. The faces are unnatural and unique to the character (and even according to game mechanics as the Spy's can hide it), it makes you feel uncomfortable in a way only uncanny valley could and I love that XD

ALSO this moment I'm losing my MIND here with this series-

Another reason I like their dynamic so much is even though Jumpsuit is more comfortable in this environment, Fixer is in no way helpless. Shown in the way how he efficiently held up his own before Jumpsuit showed up to save him from the infected Spy (WHICH only got the upper hand because he was about to backstab him) in the last episode, the way even though he panics frequently and Jumpsuit calming him down definitely helps, he throws in ideas on what to do, fixes sentries and jumps right back up to headshot that Demoman after getting blown up. I like how they both have strong suits in different departments and complete their dynamic. I'm fairly positive they are going to make it out <3 please don't tell me I just jinxed them

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING?????? THIS IS ACTUALLY DISTURBING LIKE I'M NOT KIDDING- the other infected were spooky, yes, but this is downright bone-chilling this is WRONG THAT THING SHOULD BE PUT DOWN the only reason I added scared Fixer there is because I genuinely can't handle looking at that thing in full size BUT I might be biased since I was always uncomfortable with hyperrealism in animated horror lol

WHY WON'T IT DIE?????? I mean, I'm happy about the full-white eyes since it's less creepy but NOPE THE EYES ARE BACK JUMPSUIT DO SOMETHING YOUR BOYFRIEND IS SHAKING

To be honest I'm not really sure if the BONKBOT can access the map interface and or if he knows how many people are on the map thanks to his visors or something BUT he is a brilliant character XD he is a perfect way to lower the stakes and sprinkle in some comedy without it feeling out of place

ANOTHER BADASS SCOUT (with AMAZING vocals I mind you) AND HE IS DROPPING SOME DELICIOUS LORE

...what's going on with Fixer?

[betweenthings2]

ok i just got up to the cafe scene in my totally coherent (lies) rant about this fic and DELETED IT im fucking FUMING. they should allow drafts for asks. but we move. and i will rewrite it but BETTER. OK LETS GO

Now, Matty’s in halfway in his lap and they’re looking through listings their estate agent has sent them.

in his lap 😭😭 that's so cute im gonna cry i love this. its so simple but makes me feel like 🌟 that

Matty is quiet for another few moments, then, very quietly, he says, “I think I could have died there. Either he’d push me far enough that I killed myself, or I’d overdose on accident, or he’d get violent enough.” Matty pauses, then, “In the moment, that’s not what I thought, but in retrospect, I think I could have. I think he could have, if I’d stayed. I think I would have let him.”

:( "I think I would have let him" :( this is Heartbreaking and i need to die. it's just so. weak and i cannot DEAL WITH THIS. my cat just gave me an odd look for the noise i made at this. lord. "or he'd get violent enough" :(((

Matty shakes his head. “Not now. Not yet. Maybe never. I don’t want you to hear about that, I don’t think. I don’t want you to feel like you didn’t do enough in the moment, either. You’ve done more than enough. You did all you could. I wouldn’t have let you do more.”

😭 I 😭 WOULDNT 😭 HAVE 😭 LET 😭 YOU 😭 DO 😭 MORE 😭 OHMYGOD. im gonna sob this is so :(((((( genuinely need this entire thing tattooed on my back or something

Matty’s crying, George realizes, and begging, saying, “Please, please, please, just stop it,” over and over, but he’s resigned himself to George’s hold, any fight he had gone.

i feel like a sad face emoticon. :( <- me. reading this puts like a pit in my stomach and its so beautiful i can feel my heart clenching inside my chest

Matty recoils and cries harder, begging, “Don’t touch me. Please. I don’t want it. Please don’t.”

i need a gun . im telling my therapist about this .

And then Matty tugs the blankets back up to his chin and makes a pointed effort to go back to sleep, so that’s the end of the conversation.

kind of obsessed w the implication that matty has to do this because his words werent enough for squilliam william bitchilliam...what if i cry. and also i just love it

Sometimes, George will have dreams where he loses Matty, dreams where Matty didn’t leave the man who hurt him, dreams where Matty never went to rehab, dreams where Matty overdosed in a back alley of an unfamiliar city. George never goes back to sleep after those dreams, just stays awake and watches Matty sleep, reminding himself that whatever his brain dreamed up isn’t real.

currently sad facing. oh my god. :(((( love how u get the idea that mental illness also affects the people near u and not just urself without it being Mean. im. gonna cry. i love this so much its making me unwell

The Prada store is quiet and sleek when George walks in and a sales associate is quick to greet him. He explains that he has an item on hold and the associate is quick to walk him over to the counter and pull a sleek box from behind it. She carefully opens it up to revel the chain necklace George had seen online, then, when he assures her that he’s happy with it, she wraps it back up and sends him on his way.

CHAIN NECKLACE MENTIONED!!!!!!!!!!!! CHAIN NECKLACE MY BELOVED AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH. this is so cute though pls a necklace!!! im so :')))

“I’ve got George,” Matty says, like it’s an answer to every question Denise could think to ask.

this paragraph is making me feel things that humans should not be allowed to feel. HES GOT GEORGE 😭😭😭 AND ITS THE ANSWER TO EVERY QUESTION HELLO this is romance and its going to make me explode

At some point, George drifts off, too and he wakes to Matty in the throes of another nightmare. There’s no flailing or thrashing around this time, just whimpers and begging, and he’s clinging to George’s t-shirt like it’s a lifeline. George doesn’t know what to do. He knows that you shouldn’t wake someone up when they’re having a nightmare, but that means he has to stay here and watch Matty suffer, stay here and listen to Matty whimper and beg like he’s being tortured. Maybe he is, in his head.

☹️. SAD FACE. genuinely this is so wonderful (in a sad way) i need you in the history books. the fact hes just accepted it ☹️ SAD FACE AGAIN

“You can’t. You can’t undo it. You can’t undo what he did to me. You can’t fix it. You can’t help.”

im about to be on international news...i am going to DIE. you cant undo what he did to me NO BUT I CAN STILL BUY A GUN. william when i catch u william... the rage in my soul... i need to watch carpet cleaning videos to calm down

George is silent for a moment. He’s not entirely sure what to say or how to respond to all the concerning things Matty’s just said. What comes out when he opens his mouth is, “Do you, I, you, kill yourself? Matty, fuck, Matty, do you wanna kill yourself?”

the stress in his words Oh My GOD. the way you write is so like. i can pick the words off the page and feel them im about to explode and die george NO

“It was drugs in exchange for sex no matter how you shape it, and I did that,” Matty interrupts. “I let that happen. Part of me thought that was a fair trade. All I wanted was to be high. And sure, I said no and that I didn’t want it, but I could have fought harder and the times I was so high I couldn’t do anything are my fault because he didn’t force me to use, I made that choice. That’s all on me. I could have done something, and I didn’t because I wanted a fucking supplier.”

pay for my therapy. oh my god. i genuinely cannot deal with this at all im going to cry how can you put so much SADNESS into like 30 words ?!?!

“I know what it was, George. Don’t say it. I can’t take hearing you say it.”

im going to cry so much that all of europe will be submerged in saltwater for millions of years. oh my fucking god i need DEATH i feel SICK

George wants to cry, wants to slump down to the floor right there in the hallway of this house that doesn’t even feel like home anymore because Matty has been so miserable in it and sob. He doesn’t. All George does is head back downstairs and slump down onto the couch. He needs someone to talk to, but it’s all about Matty and he’s pretty sure the only person who knows more about what how Matty’s doing is Matty. He doesn’t do anything, just lights a cigarette and blows smoke towards the ceiling. He misses Matty, he thinks. God, he misses Matty.

!!! again with how mental illness also affects people around u !!! IM SICK. theyre both so sad i just need them to hug for three hours and make everything all okay for the rest of time

Maybe, George thinks, he should text Adam. Matty told Adam about the sex that wasn’t really sex, but they can’t use the other word, the big, scary, horrible word for it because Matty won’t use it and if Matty won’t use it, George won’t either. It Matty told Adam that, then maybe Adam’s the person to talk to.

i am going to vomit and die. the way the tone is like?? childish almost?! and how that just makes it hurt more ?!?!?!? I AM GOING TO DIE. adam is always the person to speak to though. adam is the best

“I know that’s what you’re worried about. That’s what you’re always going to be worried about, what everyone is always going to be worried about, and I know if I say I just wanna sleep then I’m right back where I started, but fuck, I just wanna sleep.”

this is so sad and i love him so much and i need him to be HAPPY oh my god . he's just :((((((((( so pained :((((((( george pls just hug him and use ur george powers to make everything Good

“Maybe you should talk to someone, too,” Matty says quietly. “It might help. Same way you think it’ll help me.”

“We’re not talking about me,” George says. “We’re talking about you.”

Matty shrugs. “I’m just saying. Don’t spend all your energy trying to make me feel better so things end up shit for you.”

the noise i just made is something...so far from human. they love each other so much and matty can see hes hurting and george can see it but wont accept it and im just going to cry

“He’s still himself,” George protests. “He’s still Matty, still only sleeps on the right side of the bed, still likes his tea ridiculously sweet, still laughs at his own stupid jokes, still tries to have three different conversations at once. He’s still brilliant.”

where are the tissues. i need tissues. screaming crying throwing up as though ive just received the news that my wife of 70 years has died. oH MY GOD pls im genuinely sick george loves him so much and hes just :(:((:(:((:(:((:((:((:(

Adam nods. “You’ve always been a little bit protective of him, which seemed a little bit silly most of the time, but I think that maybe he needs that now, so it’s good that he’s got you.” He pauses again, then continues, “I don’t think I’d know what to do. I could be there for him, I have been, and I will be, but I don’t think I’d know what to do. I’ve never known what to do when he cries, but you always do.” There’s another pause, then, “You’re doin’ good, is all.”

😭 HES 😭 DOING 😭 GOOD 😭 im going to die. i looove how u write their dynamic SOSOSO MUCH like it just seems so natural and open and HQJDKWUSJKSO <- me

Matty’s quiet for a moment, then says, “I just wanna be normal.”

:((((( he just wants to be normal :((((((( this is doing damage to me im making the minecraft zombie taking damage noise currently . hes so sad i just want him to be HAPPY. see no i say i want him to be happy but repeatedly read fics that make him borderline suicidal. masochism

Matty gives a tiny nod. “It does,” he says. “’s a good reminder.”

“Then I’ll keep saying it,” George promises. “I love you.”

THEN ILL KEEP SAYING IT 😭😭😭😭😭 IM GOING TO CRY MY EYES OUT. theyre so sweet and soft and 😭❤️😭❤️😭❤️ i just love them so much and i love how you write them especially because !!! its AMAZING

After a few minutes, Matty comes out of the bathroom, curls tamed, but still looking a little bit like he’s just rolled out of bed. George can’t help but find it endearing, but he doesn’t anything. Matty doesn’t either, just gets dressed and heads downstairs, so George follows.

im getting this engraved into granite and putting it as my headstone. sobbing i love them

“I spend a lot of time thinkin’ about you,” George tries.

PUTTING THIS ON MY HEADSTONE TOO HELLO STOP THIS. i love them and their relationship and im not prepared for them to have difficult conversations again Nooooooooo (yeessssssssssss)

“I know you’re gonna do great,” George counters. The light for the crosswalk changes and he adds, “C’mon. Lemme buy you coffee and tell you you’re pretty.”

BUY U A COFFEE AND TELL U UR PRETTY 😭😭😭😭😭 this is gonna put me in my grave im so. mattys so vulnerable and george is just happy (debatable) to be there and im obsessed with it and their dynamic. LORD

George can’t help but chuckle and smile at Matty, all of his love and care obvious, and says, “You are pretty. You’re the prettiest person I’ve ever had in my bed, prettiest person I’ve ever gotten to make breakfast for, prettiest person I’ve ever been ridiculously in love with.”

hey so im not okay. theyre too cute my heart is about to burst out of my chest i CANT TAKE THIS

“You’re supposed to have a reaction to that,” Matty says quietly. “You’re supposed to have something to say.”

IM SAD AGAIN. STOP. actually no dont stop ever at all. IM SO 😭😭😭 matthew pls no i need him to feel only joy and love and peace and never be sad ever again ☹️☹️☹️

“Thanks,” Matty says quietly. He takes a drink of his coffee, then adds, “She thinks you’re good for me.”

:((((((( george is good for him :(((((( george is just good for everyone i think. an angel boy. im going to sob

Even though it’s an echo of Matty’s sentiment the day before—George can’t believe that conversation on the patio was just yesterday—but it doesn’t hurt any less to hear. All George can do is try, “You are you, Matty. You’re still the person I love, still the only person I’ve ever been ridiculously in love with. You’re still someone I recognize and know. I know you ‘cause you’re still you. I’ll always know you. You’re still my Matty.”

"MY MATTY" ☹️☹️☹️ my heart is going to pop out of my chest and explode into green glitter and when it falls down onto the floor it will say I LOVE THE BIG LIGHT SERIES BY AO3 AND TUMBLR USER BETWEENTHINGS2 and then i will explode into rainbow glitter and it will put sparkles around it. can you tell im normal about this fic

Matty agrees, and allows George to urge him to his feet and out of the café, but once they get outside, he stops and fixes George with a skeptical look, asking, “What do you mean you having something for me?”

George stops too and says, “If you’d keep walking, you’ll see.” When Matty doesn’t move, he adds, “It’s ten minutes home. You’ve anticipated much more for much longer.”

I LOVE THEM AND I LOVE EVERYTHING the way u write them. i will say this again and again. is amazing. pls. it's just so !!! and sweet and nice and even when theyre sad it's like it's got a haze of Love over it. im gonna die

“You’re adorable,” George says, coming to stand in front of Matty.

Matty offers a cheeky smile and says, “I know.”

And, god, that’s Matty. That’s George’s Matty.

HE KNOOOWSSSSS 😭😭😭 im gonna BAWL im so. thats georges matty !!!!!!!!!!! they are two parts of a whole and im going to Explode over it

Matty takes a deep breath, the kind a deep breath a person takes when they’re trying very hard to keep their emotions in check, the kind of deep breath Matty takes when he’s trying not to cry, and says, “’m good, G. ‘s good, really good.”

i feel like an exclamation mark. hes so happy and im :((((((( obsessed with them im gonna explode

Carefully, almost reverently, George drapes the chain around Matty’s neck and fastens the clasp. Before he can think twice about it, he leans forward and presses a very gentle kiss to the back of Matty’s neck, just about the clasp of the necklace.

i need to be put down because i am EMOTIONAL and this is going to make me cry plsplspls i love i love i love. reverently !!! kissing the back of his neck !!! i am !!! !!! !!!

this is a masterpiece and i REALLY hope u know it because u are amazing and everything u write is like an actual. gift from god or something like its sososo beautiful and wonderful and amazing and AAAAAHHHHH. my chest is tight and ive read this like 6 times in the past 3 days. enjoy ur day and Plsplspls know that u are amazing 🙂‍↕🫶🫶🫶

First of all, thank you so, so much!! Second of all, you're right--Tumblr really should let you draft asks. There are a lot of things Tumblr should let you do, though.

They're moving in together!! They're buying a house together!! They get to have a fresh start in a place that's theirs that was never a host to all the pain and misery and guilt! It's going to be so good for them!

Things are not so good for them. Poor fictional!Matty is struggling so much and hindsight and sobriety are not helping, and if he has very little self-esteem with fictional!George, he had, like, negative self-esteem with fuckin' William and he absolutely would have let himself be pushed too far. =(

I wouldn't have let you do more =(!!!!!!!!!! <- that's how I feel about that and I wrote it. Fictional!George wants to have done more, he wishes he'd have followed fictional!Matty inside and not let him be alone that first night he came home, wishes he'd have noticed sooner and done more to get fictional!Matty out, and fictional!Matty knows that, but there's no way he would have let fictional!George do anything more than he did. Fictional!George knows that, too, but he hates it. Everyone is sad, as they so often are in my fics.

The whole entire nightmare scene is just so. I just wrote this scene for the fictional!Matty!POV version of this fic and it is, dare I say, possibly even sadder. Also, tell your therapist I made you sad before you buy a gun. Maybe don't buy a gun at all, actually.

Fictional!George has nightmares, too, and they're all about losing fictional!Matty =( =( I know I keep saying it, but he loves fictional!Matty so, so much and they're maybe a little bit (maybe a lot) codependent to the point that all their hurt is shared and fictional!Matty's mental illness never has and never will be just his own, which is somehow both wonderfully poetic and horribly tragic. (I love a good tragedy. Catharsis my beloved.)

Prada chain necklace, Prada chain necklace!! I love her! I also love gift giving as an expression of love so much, and not in a materialistic, 'I love things' kind of way, but in a 'I'm always with you' kind of way. Also, a kind of possessive way. <- who said that? Not me, I'm normal.

He has fictional!George!!! It's the answer to every 'are you ok?', every 'will you be alright?', every 'do you need anything?' He's always had fictional!George, and always will, even if he's afraid he won't. There's so much love and trust in three words and fictional!George is going to think about it forever probably. We'll see if I remember this when I write the next part.

You need me in history books?!?!?!?!? (I did want to be a historian for a long time.) Oh my god. Thank you so much is not enough!! Oh my god. Also, poor, sad fictional!George. He can't make fictional!Matty uncomfortable so he can be more comfortable, but that doesn't mean he's not heartbroken.

Fictional!Matty thinks he's irreparably broken and fictional!George doesn't know how to change his mind =( Also, still don't buy a gun. Maybe get like a sword or a cool knife. Those are way better than a gun.

Poor fictional!George is so stressed!! Does fictional!Matty want to kill himself?? He doesn't know what to do with that, not in combination with everything else. I'm so thrilled by your comments on the way I wrote this--I wanted it to feel because what the hell are you supposed to do when your partner says they want to kill themself??? Thank you!!

The mental gymnastics that fictional!Matty is doing to blame himself are honestly impressive. I cannot pay for your therapy, unfortunately. I am an unemployed student. I can (and will), however, write you more fic where maybe someone is eventually happy. The secret to putting a lot of sadness in very few words is, um, commitment? I dunno.

There is, in this fic, particular attention to the language that gets used to discuss things, and part of that is fictional!Matty blaming himself for what happened, but fictional!George's willingness to use that language is partially him not wanting to think about it. If he uses the language that fictional!Matty uses, then he frames it differently in his own head and then it doesn't hurt quite so bad.

Poor fictional!George. That could be the subtitle of the whole The Big Light series: poor fictional!George. He know fictional!Matty, he's been there through everything, seen everything, but somehow it all just gets worse all the time and he misses fictional!Matty so much and he feels awful for that, but he misses hearing seeing fictional!Matty smile or hearing him laugh. He misses fictional!Matty =(

Fictional!George really, really needs a hug (probably from fictional!Matty) and he feels so unequipped to deal with this, but he's all he's got because he can't tell anyone else what fictional!Matty has told him in confidence. And he's an adult and he's dealt with a lot when it comes to fictional!Matty, but it makes him feel so young and lost and he kind of wishes they could be sixteen again so he could do better.

He'll be happy eventually, they both will!! I have a plan, they're just going to be sad first.

Fictional!Matty is trying so hard!! He knows fictional!George better than he knows himself and he knows fictional!George won't actually talk to someone unless he suggests it, even if he has the idea without fictional!Matty saying anything. They're a little bit codependent, but it's all fine. Everything's fine.

I'm sending virtual tissues =) He's still Matty!! He is but he's not and fictional!George doesn't know how to reconcile that, but he's trying. Fictional!Adam might be right here, though, fictional!George just doesn't want him to be.

I'm actually always a little worried I about how I write the relationships beyond fictional!M+G, so I'm so happy that you found it natural--thank you so much!! Fictional!George really needed to hear that he's doing things right, thank god for fictional!Adam.

They're going to be happy eventually!! I promise. Poor fictional!Matty just has a lot of feelings and a lot of shit to deal with first.

They're so in love and fictional!Matty really thinks he's making the person he loves miserable and he hates that idea so much, so fictional!George saying it is a good reminder that the love goes both ways and that they're a team.

There's something very soft and wonderful and intimate about seeing someone when they've just gotten up. I'm also pretty sure that the mark of being really in love with someone with curls is thinking they look good when they've just rolled out of bed. My hair makes me look a little bit like some kind of deranged swamp witch when I've just woken up. If someone thought I looked good then, I'd go buy a ring.

Fictional!George thinks about fictional!Matty all the time!!! There's so much love there and I will not stop!! =)

I keep thinking about all the interviews I've seen/read with Matty where he, at the very least, seems very candid and willing to have a conversation, rather than just answer some questions, and that creates this fear he has in this series about doing press because he doesn't want to talk about it and he doesn't want the whole world to know about this and he's also generally a little bit scared of everything that's not existing at home with fictional!George. Fictional!Matty knows exactly the kinds of questions he'll get asked and he's so afraid he'll wind up in a position where he has to decline to answer questions or give half-answers that are very clearly just that or that he'll accidentally say too much. Fictional!George is just thrilled he got fictional!Matty to leave the house for something non-essential.

Fictional!George loves him so much!!!!! Fictional!Matty is his person and he's going to do everything he can to make sure he knows it.

Fictional!Matty had a reaction to that (he may have argued with his therapist about it), so he expects Fictional!George to have a reaction to it, too.

Fictional!George is so good for him!!! Fictional!George treats him so well and cares for him so deeply that of course he's good for fictional!Matty. How could he not be????

'My Matty'!!!!!!!!!!!!! I, too, feel insane about this. You always say the best things about this series and I can tell you're super normal about it. The normal-est.

There's so much love, even when everything is so sad!! They're trying so hard and they love each other so much!!

There's a line in The Song of Achilles, which is kind of a meh book, about knowing the person you love no matter what that I thought about in writing this in that fictional!George knows fictional!Matty no matter what. He knows fictional!Matty in every mood, every circumstance, no matter what because he loves him. There's a bit in Eurydice that I thought about too, about remembering that you love someone simply because you do. You're right, they are two halves of something bigger than themselves because they love each other and always will.

Fictional!Matty loves it!! He loves the necklace, but more than that, he loves what it represents, that fictional!George loves him and wants him and cares enough to give him a gift and also that fictional!George is almost laying a claim to him.

There's something ridiculously intimate about putting on someone else's necklace that makes me a little bit insane and also fictional!George so wanted to see fictional!Matty wear it for super normal reasons.

Thank you so, so much for the ask and the compliments!!!!! 💚💚💚 I will be thinking about this forever and ever. I have three more fics planned for this series and then it'll be done (unless someone convinces me to write more) and then I'll start the Unsent Project fic. 💚💚

[gg-selvish]

please share your analysis

i talked about this on twitter so forgive me those who are gonna see me repeating myself but that clip is just so fascinating if u take a step back and compare it to the way dnn interact with each other because theyre all friends and theyre all in love or whatever but their duo dynamics are so drastically different from each other and the way they balance out as a trio is like the whole reason i ship them. every duo works despite how the tropes/dynamics/dare i say behaviours are unique yet the trio is like perfect balance

anyway. let's talk about george saying 'wait'

george has self-imposed rules of how he interacts with people and how others interact with him. we learned this from everyone in the uk and customer service workers who have talked about him where he can be a sweet people pleaser while still being a little spicy but he does know how to be normal. then he gets to florida with people he's incredibly close to and comfortable with and all we hear is 'george sucks' 'george is a menace' 'george is crazy' so as we all know people are multi-facetted, but i think george is especially multi-facetted and even multi-faced at times. there's like a different george for streaming, videos, in call, uk irl, florida/la irl, and then everything we don't see is a whole other george i can't even begin to think about

but im getting distracted. the wait. the dnn.

when george is talking to people he's close to, especially dream, sapnap, and now karl as they've gotten closer, he has more rules. like karl and sapnap pointed out in banter he has long pauses in between sentences and gets frustrated when he's interrupted when people don't know they're interrupting him so he just gets louder and more persistent and it drives sapnap especially crazy. it's so fascinating to me how things that dream is comfortable with an appreciates about george drives sapnap right up the wall. because he still loves george so much, you can tell it from the way theyre glued to each other and talk about each other constantly even if its negative. if he didnt like him he wouldnt be sharing stories about him constantly, yknow? he's mad and ranting but theres this lingering fondness under the frustration that brings me back to 'we wouldnt be friends if we werent already friends' and a lot of people took that as 'i dont want to be friends with you' but i read it as 'we're such a good friends you can do anything to me and no matter how pissed i get we're still gonna be friends because i decided 7 years ago that we're stuck together'

sorry sorry. the wait. the wait.

george does this all the time in calls. we see him do it with solo streams too. he reeeeeeeeeeeeally draws out goodbyes because i think he hates them. he says hes leaving and gonna end then reads pieces of chat or shares another anecdote then says hes gonna end again and doesnt again.

for dream this is amazing. he loves listening to george no matter what and entertains all of his weird mannerisms easy as breathing because he's a simp for him and infatuated and we all know this. a telling example of this is when theyre streaming and george does this exact thing

g: im leaving

d: ok bye

g: wait *says something else*

d: *waits and listens*

and then they get sucked into another conversation and go on or they move to an offstream call to continue what they were talking about because dream would listen to george read the newspaper and be enthralled. we know this. dnf is real. but sapnap is different

sapnap is george's favourite thing to needle. he pokes and prods at him until he's riled up and frustrated which is puts george on the moon with amusement because it makes him laugh and it means sapnap cares about him. their bickering back and forth is pure quality time, and when george gets quiet and starts to get soft it's sapnap's turn to make him uncomfortable. this is what they do... they find each other's tender underbelly and wait for the right moment to deliver a blow. it's a love language and a reminder of their dynamic which is fighty and spicy and always on their toes. they have their soft and sweet moments but their preferred way of interacting is lightning speed fighting back and forth to feel alive

but the wait.

george did exactly what he does with dream in that clip. says he wants to leave and is told not to leave and says hes gonna leave anyway so sapnap, who isnt dream, goes 'ok dude bye' and then HE WAITS. HE WAITS FOR GEORGE TO SAY WAIT BECAUSE HE KNOWS HE DOESNT WANT HIM TO HANG UP YET HE WANTS HIM TO WAIT. HE KNOWS THE RULES. george says wait and sapnap hangs up.

sapnap is satisfied with himself for putting george in his place and george doesnt get that from a lot of people 'has anyone ever said no to you?' sapnap has. sapnap does it all the time. sapnap is a firm hand on george's scruff and keeps him from playing mind games like an expert zookeeper and it's absolutely fascinating to watch.

i would love to see a moment like this in a threeway call and see how it balances out. it's literally like a lab experiment to me

[mackmp3]

ok hi good mornig I AM GOING SO INSANE ABOUT THOR LOVE AND THUNDER. I watched it last night (hence the immense amount of spam on my Loki sideblog lmao) AND IWAS NOR READY FOR HOW OBJECTIVELY BAD IT WAS. I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING BAD IVE EVER SAID ABOUT THE LOKI TV SHOW IT IS FINE ART COMPARED TO THIS. it took me FIVE HOURS to get through that movie because i had to keep pausing it to yell to a friend over discord about how godawful it was. anyways aside from the bad everything here are the highlights of the movie <3

this outfit

which is glorious and i love it very much

2. this logo which i am OBSESSED with

and 3. THORS GOATS MENTIONED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(also a brief stint of canon-typical asshole Zeus which lowkey i appreciate bc i fully support Zeus slander).

anyways they completely accidentally made an amazing movie under the condition you watch it thinking that Thor is aromantic& asexual and hasn't fully realized it yet because literally everyone is trying to get him to date someone and then you can actually see how much the ideas of romantic and sexual relationships make him uncomfprtable but hes still forcing himself into one LIKE ITS SO OBVIOUS ACTUALLY??? LIKE HE DEADASS MENTIONS HE FEELS AWFUL AFTER ASKING JANE OUT & INTENTIONALLY AVOIDS DEEPENING THEIR RELATIONSHIP WHEN THEY WERE TOGETHER. rant over but this movie made him 100000x more aromantic👍👍👍👍👍anyways do not bother this isn't maloki style so bad its good its just bad

I STARTED THAT MOVIE ONCE AND I GOT TO THE BIT WHERE TYE OTHER GODS ARE THERE AND ZEUS MAKES A SEX JOKE AND WAS LIKE HMMM MAYBE I DONT NEED TO WATCH THIS MOVIE ACTUALLy i was reading your liveblogging and it sounds. pretty bad. like wow. my sincerest condolences im so sorry about what they did to your guy good for him for being aromantic though 👍

[gamblersdoll]

𝓕𝓞𝓡 𝓨𝓞𝓤, 𝓘 𝓦𝓘𝓛𝓛. 1

“what is it?” guts muttered out, his eyes somewhat twitching. he leaned against the thickest tree, folding his arms.

“what is your problem?” you gruff out, folding your own. he could never be more oblivious.

“my problem? whats yours?” he grunts, “youve been distant, from whats left of the group and more!” he shouts, obviously agitated.

“yeah, because of you!” you sneered out, growing agitated yourself. you poke at his chest with your index, hard. “after all the shit we been through, you still act the same way!” you flail your arms out, turning your back to him. “cant ever get a conversation from you, and to make matters worse i cant even spare you for a moment.” you rant, looking back to glare at him.

“you have–“

“trouble in paradise.” skull knight sneaks up, standing next to guts. his horse chuffs, and you grit your teeth. “you both still argue after a year and some days.” he sighs, his irises flickering to you and guts.

“y/n–“

“fucking forget it, you think of no-one but yourself.” you grit, forcing yourself from the both of them.

leaving you to yourself.

you and what being left of the hawks, were never staying in one place. having to move every twelve.. twelve? twelve hours, and maybe shorter. not with the brand of sacrificial offering embedded in your skin.

and its hard to find shelter without some sort of problem, only finding a cheap hotel that you could stay at and a bar that had a bunch of low lives. of course, you had to make a stop there. and as in “you,” meaning the entirety of your group.

you looked down at the wine that was in your cup, deep in thought.

he still acted the same, which was valid, you know? but it wasnt valid the way he brooded around as if you hadn’t helped him at all, nor as if you didnt do your damndest. were you both friends? shit, you couldnt tell, you only felt as a place holder.

you look over to guts, seeing his sitting by himself and you want to bite the bullet..

but yesterday? should you even bother?

fuck it.

you move your body to the table he sat at, plopping yourself into the other side of the table and look down at your drink and say nothing.

he stared at you for a minute, then looking to the floor. he felt.. nervous? like he was just in the room by himself and a girl he had been caught playing hooky with.

“you know, youre wrong.” he mumbles, not looking at you. you look up at him though, eyebrow raising and you patiently look at him. “i.. i do care—“

“i find that hard to believe.” you cut off, scoffing and playing with the cup. “you act as if i havent been here for the whole duration i met you. which is five years, going six.” you sigh out.

“its been that long?” he asks, dumbfounded. you nod, “well.. i, i do care. i have cared.” he says, looking to you. “i just, i just want to make sure youre okay, that rickett and casca is too.”

“and i get that, but brushing me off daily isnt caring, at least not to me.” you say, crossing your legs together.

“i dont brush you off.” he says, confused. “when have i ever brushed you off?”

“everytime i try to fucking talk to you, guts.” you retort, looking to him now. “every damn time. yet im distant?”

“yeah, you are.” he retorts back, like a dog on his haunches. “youre distant as shit, and you get angered easily.”

“am i distant, or are you confused on why i dont bother trying to talk to you?” you grind your teeth, tapping your foot. he sighs, relaxing and having both hands on his mug of beer.

“what am i supposed to do?” he says to the mug, tapping on it. “ever since that day happened, its been nothing but hell.”

you relax too, still tapping your foot. “we have limited people and probably time together. why push away the only people you have? not just me, but rickett.”

he never answered that question, yet asking you another.

“what were you trying to talk to me about?” he asks, looking up to you. “i haven’t forgotten.”

you look to the side, pausing your tapping and thought process. “it..” you stop yourself, pondering on if you should even bother with telling with. it was like a itch that you had to eventually scratch, but did it have to be this bad? “its nothing, forget it.”

“no, i want to know what was important.”

“it was nothing, guts.”

he glared at you, pinching the bridge of his nose. “thats one of your problems, you start a rant then never finish.”

if you could punch him in the throat, you would.

you laid in the cheap hotel bed, looking up at the ceiling of wood and slight cobwebs. maybe you should have talked to him, but feelings were so hard, especially now. now of all times. you were finally drifting off to sleep, finally after hours of walking and having to deal with people in the bar.

…

yet whoever decided now was a good time to talk to you was obviously a fool. whoever it was.

you threw the blanket off, rolling out of bed in only a shirt that could cover you up until your lower thighs. your feet padded against the floor, unlocking the door and opening it. you recognize the armor, and the bionic arm that he wore. you looked up to him, and somewhat felt a little warm to see guts.

“its awfully late for you to be askin’ for me.”

“i know, im sorry.” he says, slightly leaning. “i was hoping if i could, come in and talk to you for a minute?” he said, peaking his head in and looking around.

you sigh heavy, opening the door wider so he could enter.

[hyunsvngs]

idk if i should be called dream anon or what since i keep coming back to talk about dreams, but! i come back with another one about chan.

in my dream we were working on a song together but i was literally utterly distracted bc god damn he's so pretty. but chan didn't realize what was distracting me, he was like ???? thats not like you at all whats got you with writers block

and feeling like im caught like oh its hard to write a song when i dont have some experience to base it off of bc its supposed to be like... sexy.

and chans like oh thats it, i know that feeling.

and im like yeah sure you do you literally write songs about desire and sex but then you explain them to fans like someone who literally can't navigate it. just teasing him and all that, cause channies so cute when he's flustered.

and of course chans like "oh" clearly embarrassed at my call out. but then hes like "is that why you dont write normal love songs cause you've never been with anyone." and im like listen, "its hard for people to even want you when you look like an amorphous dented over boiled potato"

and so chan says "is that how you see yourself?" but i dont wanna talk about it so i go back to writing, but then hes like "thats not true you look good the way you are, you're fine, you know that."

but i roll my eyes and just keep explaining that "yes i see myself that way, and that's fine because no one usually wants me. but its fine. i just can't write songs like that then."

and chan isnt having it and like, spins me around in his studio chair to make me look at him bc i keep avoiding the topic

and then he said something about whatever we were supposed to be working on, about how the lyrics were supposed to be about something i tried to say i didn't worry about, and yet i was struggling.

and he gets this really hot mad look, and i mean like, god he's so hot when he's mad. he says something along the lines of how i shouldn't say that about myself that i am desirable.

so i retort with "that's easy to say when all you have to do is post a selfie and thousands of people want to suck your dick on the spot."

and his eyes get all dark and suddenly he's leaning over me while i'm still sitting in his studio chair. and im like, ranting about the whole thing being like i know hes got confidence issues but theres people out there to tell him how hot he is every day and blah blah blah so its completely lost on me for a second what he says while i'm talking.

cause chan's like "well the person i'm after doesn't really want that on the spot, so, yknow."

so when i finally catch up i'm like what the fuck do you mean there's someone out there that doesn't immediately want to do that-

and then i realize he literally means me bc honestly the thought of sucking a dick kinda makes me nauseous but also i look at this man and think man i'd try it at least once.

but then he pauses and i pause and there's this insane tension and then bam i'm making out with bang chan in my dream and at one point he hauled my ass out of that chair like i weighed nothing,,,

anyways that's dream time with me again! i'm trying to find dreams i've documented bc ive been sleeping all weird lately and not had many

WHATTTT THE FUCK?!?! THEI IS ISNANE AND SO SDXY

[captainaikus]

Hi belle! Im so sorry for a late reply I was not online so much because I am so busy with all the activities in school😭. I’ve not really taken a rest yet but I’m fine! I try to take in between breaks when I do my activities so I’m hanging in there! And anyways I kinda have an Imagine with Oliver. So I am currently obsessed with Marvel right now, me and my family watched it in timeline order and I loved it so much!! So imagine watching all the movies and series with Oliver and the both of you are just simping for the characters and the actors😂 so yeah thats it hehe

How about you belle? Have you watched any marvel movies/series?

-💙

Don't worry abt it Blue! ( ∩´͈ ᐜ `͈∩) take your time and reply when you feel like it okay? no pressure ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝)

And same, my writing time has been cut down due to assignments and papers that i have to work on- so i'm taking it easy ૮ ˶´ ᵕˋ ˶ა its okay to not keep up with timelines (cause i have fomow both here and irl- so i'm working on that)

Marvel movies! I actually wanted to say this for halloween- Aiku in a spiderman suit. but since he is obsessed with cowboy hats- he's just gonna wear that a pair of boots since it suits his very 'laid back personality'.

As for watching Marvel movies... I have seen a few- and on an unpopular opinion, Toby Maguire will always be my fav spider man (like ik tom holland and andrew garfield are cute- but just... nah. Toby is my childhood ૮꒰⸝⸝> <⸝⸝꒱), apart from that i've seen avengers, winter soldier and yeah that's it. I don't watch a lot of marvel movies tbh... my friends and roommates are maniacs tho (and they're telling me to watch the boys- i'm not sure if its marvel tho) i'm more of a DC girl- and the latest series i watched... its just romantic killer (anime) and i'm waiting for Ragnarok season 2 to come in...

Small Oliver Drabble - angsty fluffy cause i couldn't help it and he's my fav ૮꒰/ฅ//ฅ//꒱ა :

Oh yea if there was a marvel movie marathon ik he's gonna go with the popular opinion and like black widow- and banter with you, even if he doesn't mean it.

"You know if I weren't stuck with you, i'd totally trade you with Natasha Romanov." he said, grabbing popcorn and putting them into his mouth.

"Mhm hm... pretty sure you can do that now, since you have a football career and the world hasn't run out of red heads who speak Russian and latin- any girl would kill to have Aiku Oliver as a boyfriend." you replied humorlessly, resting into the sofa.

"You wouldn't?"

"Hm... not when you have Thor, Loki, Tony Stark, Peter parker, Steve Rogers and Bucky to entertain you. Its a different feeling when you want someone you can't have yet you're satisfied with it." you ranted, shrugging your shoulders, taking some popcorn into your hand and eating it.

"So you'd rather have characters portrayed by people on screen who don't even know you rather than me?" he contested, his voice sounding more serious rather than the tinge of amusement he got into friendly arguments.

It fueled your desire to tease him, your mind curious and the want to entice a reaction out of him.

"I mean..." you drawled out, a smirk making its way on your face. "I might not bag them in real life, but I am pretty happy with the view I'm getting. I did this before my first relationship and I also did the same thing before I met you. A girl can dream you know?"

"Even if you have me?" "Even if I have you."

"I'm gonna go get some water." he said, rolling his eyes and getting up from the sofa. Letting a few minutes pass you set the bowl of popcorn on the table, pausing the movie to follow him.

Standing at the door of the kitchen you watched as he stared at the counter, clutching a glass of water. Walking behind him, you circled your arms around his torso, nuzzling your nose into his back, hugging him close to you.

"You know that i was only teasing right?"

"Mhm." "Is Oliver upset with me?" "..." "Did I make my Oliver angry?"

"..."

"You know that I didn't mean it." you pouted, feeling him sigh.

"You're lucky you have me. I don't think Bucky and gang would be able to put up with your annoying ass." he said with a scoff.

"You brat." you laughed, biting into his back, making him yelp. Turning around he caressed your face, placing a lingering kiss on your head, his heterochromatic eyes staring into yours as he rubbed his thumb against your cheek.

"Jeg elsker deg." he murmured. "Jeg elsker too deg."

He chuckled.

"Let's go back. I get to pick a movie this time." [Jeg elsker deg is Norwegian, but Swedish and Norwegian sound really similar even if the spellings are different and Oliver can speak both.]

[journalofsorts2]

i was gonna tell my dad something, it doesn't matter what it was, it was just something stupid. but i should've known he was in a bad mood cause he was already turning the volume up on his duolingo to drown the sound of me and my sisters conversation out, even though we weren't that loud. anyways, i turn to him and i'm like "hey dad" and he pauses and does a deep sigh and answers with a exasperated "yes?" and i like to think i'm not that good at reading body language but even an idiot could tell you don't want to talk to me from that. so i pause now and i'm like "are you okay?" and now he's getting frustrated and he's like "jesus! what?! what serena?! what?!" (he didn't actually yell but he was definitely raising his voice, also i haven't told him i want to go by eren yet) and so i pause again, and i'm like "nevermind" cause this is too much buildup to just tell him about something stupid i saw on tiktok. and he keeps pushing cause i think he's thinking this is too much buildup for me to just say nothing and he's like "jesus serena! you're reading too much into this! what is it?!" and like no the fuck i'm not, i'm reading the right amount into it, like you clearly don't want me bothering you. so i say nevermind again and he does that signature angry dad grumble and goes back to duolingo and now me and my sisters conversation is over and i feel like crying and i feel stupid and so i got some water and came back up here to write this. idk he just make me feel like a big idiot and a big mistake a lot of the time and it sucks, but i get it, i mean im not the best and i think he's like me where at night it's easier to get overloaded sensory wise and i think it was just that happening again cause this definitely isn't the first time he's snapped at me during his duolingo. and like thats not the sucky part about this, like i'm kinda bitchy when i get overloaded, i get it, y'know but it hurts to know that he knows he hurt my feelings and he's not going to apologize for it later. he doesn't feel remorse for his actions when he hurts me (or at least not to my knowledge) because he never says otherwise. he only ever apologizes for the surface level stuff, the stuff that at the end of the day doesn't matter, but when it's something that actually affects his character, he gets defensive and dismissive about it and it turns into a fight. and i'm not allowed to fight with him because if we fight and i don't have him, i have nothing. i never have my mom and if i don't have him, i'm all out of parents. i'm all out of people who will love me. and like he's reminded me before, he's all i have left. if he hates me then i'm all on my own. and idk, this is why i don't like the holidays, cause it's the one time of year where people get to pretend they've been nice to me all year and they get to pretend that they love me and that they loved me all year and it just always feels so fake. i just want it to feel real for once, i want to feel loved for once. idk my dad has angry issues and i usually get the brunt of it. rant over

[lljdnh]

- changes

pairing: mark lee x f!reader

warnings: this story revolves around the reader having a restrictive eating disorder. if this triggers you in anyway, please do not read!! i write to help vent and materialize my feelings into words and this is just what im dealing with. there is some argument and language!!!!!

genre: angst, fluff, idk lol

note: def not proof read for edits and this is probably ass but it is what it is lol. im sorry if any of yall are dealing with this shit too. it sucks. also b/f/n means best friend’s name.

_______

whichever disordered bitch said to romanticize not eating obviously never had the (dis)pleasure of being sat in front of your best friend and boyfriend, having to defend yourself against their concerns and grievances.

had you been looking at them, you would’ve noticed [b/f/n]’s tense expression - eyebrows knitted, deep breathes through the nose - and mark fidgeting anxiously as he remained seated across from you in the living room. instead, your eyes fixated on the texture of the couch you were seated on, praying to every god that you could melt into the ground to never be seen again.

[b/f/n] continued to talk at you - though you only caught half of what she said… you’re ruining yourself… you’ve changed… where did my best friend go? and though you knew it was out of concern and anxiety, her shaky voice and harsh words stunned you. there was only so much you could take.

“are you done yet?”

your best friend paused her rant upon hearing your voice for the first time since you all sat down. “what was that?”

you cleared your throat, mustering up the courage to look at her blankly. “i said, are you done yet?”

eyes widening, she scoffed in disbelief.

“are you serious? am i done yet? you’re fucking torturing yourself and you expect me to sit around and watch it happen?”

“im literally fine; what’s it to you anyway?” your voice began to raise in anger.

mark sat watching the exchange escalate, unsure of how to respond. his eyes traveled back and forth between the two of you, his girlfriend and her best friend who came to him for support and advice about confronting you.

she gave a sarcastic laugh. “what’s it to me? im your best friend, [y/n]. we’ve been friends for years now and you expect me to not care? i feel bad suggesting we go out for dinner because i know you’ll be stressing over what to order. you’re distracted all the time. you’re tired. we hardly do anything together anymore. and i know it’s not about me but god.. is it so wrong to miss my best friend?” her anger slowly dissipated into desperation as she struggled to maintain a level voice and hold her tears in. you looked towards mark blankly and made eye contact with him, seeing the exasperation and upset in his face.

“we just want to help.” you heard him say softly.

it was your turn to scoff. “is this some ploy to make me out to be some freak or crazy person? i told you im fine - okay, maybe a bit stressed but who fucking isnt? i cant believe you two would just talk behind my back and make assumptions - are you implying i have an eating disorder? what the fuck?” you gave a dry laugh. you knew you were being irrational, but what else were you to do? you knew you had a problem, but why would anyone want to admit that in front of the two people they held dearest in their life?

moments pass before the front door to your shared apartment slammed as you watched [b/f/n] storm out with her bag, likely to clear her head. you stared at your lap, unsure of what to say. instead, you focused on catching your breath and calming your racing heart. the anxiety that had overtaken you manifested itself as a cold that enveloped you, delivering a shiver in response.

your head shoots up at the sound of mark’s voice. “do you really think she came to me worried about her best friend because she wanted to sabotage you somehow?” and while his question seemed accusatory, his voice conveyed nothing but genuine concern and care. he looked at you sincerely, leg bouncing up and down in anticipation.

“i-fuck.” you responded breathlessly, running a hand through your hair anxiously. mark stands from his position on the couch opposite and moves to sit next to you, but not before you stand yourself and take a step back. he blinks at you. “i’ve obviously been a nuisance in your lives and thats the last thing i ever wanted… i think its best if i just..” you trailed off.

“best if you what?”

you bit your lip, doing everything in your power to hold your tears in. “you deserve some space away. i shouldnt be causing all of this stress and maybe… maybe some time apart would be good for you. for you both.”

“baby what are you saying? don’t be like that.” he reached out to you, pulling you into his arms and holding your body securely against his own. leaning down to place small kisses on the crown of your head, he felt your body begin to shake as you succumbed to your tears and anguish.

“im so, so sorry. it wasnt ever supposed to get this bad; i- i dont know what to do mark.. i feel so stuck.” you cried powerlessly. he rubbed your back soothingly as he watched you let yourself go.

mark, with his soft character and tender heart, found it difficult to maintain his composure when you had finally let yourself be so vulnerable in his presence. though he hated to admit it, he had anticipated this exact scene happening months ago when your friend had first expressed her concerns about your worsening eating and food anxiety. and though they agreed to remain passive, hoping by some chance that you wouldn’t fall any worse, your recent state had worried them far too much for comfort.

as you pulled away slightly to look up at him after a couple deep breaths, you noticed the few stray tears that trailed down his solemn face. you gave him a small smile and wiped his eyes.

“shhh… don’t cry; you’ll make me cry.” you laughed softly with tears lining your waterline. he shook his head lightly, sniffling. you continued, “i’ll be okay. give me time. i’m sorry i was an asshole earlier.”

“it was a high pressure situation. i dont blame you.” he breathed. you hang your head, head resting against his chest as you played with his fingers that was holding your own. “though i do think you owe [b/f/n] an apology. as she does to you. she was worried sick.”

you sighed, “yeah. i’ll call her now.”

you pulled away to grab a tissue, wiping your nose and shakily ringing her phone. after a heartfelt apology (on both sides) and perhaps a couple more tears shed, you both settled your guilt and hung up.

upon tossing your phone on the couch, you realized mark had likely disappeared into your bedroom. you move slowly to your room, seeing him seated on the edge of your bed, fidgeting with his fingers.

you sat next to him, the bed sinking slightly to lean you two slightly closer to each other. you laid down on your back, pulling him back with you to enjoy the view that was your white ceiling.

“may i ask why?”

you took a deep breath and held your stare at the ceiling.

“its always been like this mark. since i was in middle school and getting comments from family and classmates about my body. sometimes it just gets worse than usual.” you shrugged.

“im sorry.”

“why are you apologizing? it’s no one’s fault but my own.” you turned to him slightly, brushing away the hair that fell in front of his eyes. you gave him a small smile despite his consistent gaze looking upward.

“is there anything i can do to help?”

“ah-” you paused. “i wish i knew. i dont know how to undo nearly a decade of disordered eating and tormenting thoughts about my body.”

“does your therapist know? how has that been going?” he continued to ask sincerely.

you sighed, “i dont think ive been completely honest with her. maybe ill start there.”

“maybe that'll help.” he replied, turning on his side and propping himself up with his arm.

he looked down at you and smiled, leaning in to press a sweet kiss to your lips. you attempted to sit up without breaking the kiss but to no avail, giggling in response. your hands moved to run through his hair, as you reconnected, lips moving in sync desperately as he held your body close to his.

breathlessly - and with reddened lips - you pull away slowly. “i love you. i think i need a nap.”

“i love you too baby.” he adjusted himself so he was laying the right way on your bed, you following.

for the next 2 minutes as you settled down, rethinking all that went down, you closed your eyes and maintained silence as he did the same.

of course, no one can say for certain when or how recovery starts or happens. if it was a step by step guide, it would be so much easier to break free from the grasp of restriction, worried family and friends, guilt, and consequential fatigue. you and mark both knew this.

but knowing there was always someone there to watch you in concern, genuinely worried about your health and wellbeing helped to ease your heart just a degree more. and just knowing that would help you moving forward in the future.

[mxmentos]

rewrite the stars.

character(s) ; mona x gn!reader genre ; star-crossed lovers word count ; 1007 cw/tw ; very annoyed mona, not proofread (when is it ever) a/n ; told yall ill make y/n the good guy this time <3 i wrote this in a rush, you can tell by the ending 💀💀 sorry for the lack of content- and yes, the old hag is mona's mother in this au lol

“are you out of your mind?!”

your grip on mona’s arm loosened, but your fingers remained firm and made sure she couldn’t escape. you weren’t done with this woman just yet. mona’s pale green eyes flashed at yours with anger, grunts escaping her parted lips as she tried to free herself from your grip. 

“[name], i demand you to release me at once! do you know who i am? i’m the daughter of the most praised astrologer in the entirety of teyva-”

“will you quiet down, star-lady? i’m trying to get us out of here.”

“star-lady?! i will not let myself be disgraced with such preposterous nicknames. release me at onc-”

you placed your free-hand over mona’s lips, muffling her strained voice from escaping into the woods. “you’ve been hanging out with fischl a bit too much, haven’t you?” you whispered, listening keenly to make sure the two of you were alone.

“no sign of the old hag’s guards here, mona. there’s nothing to be afraid of.”

“that’s not who i’m afraid of,” mumbled mona. you removed your hand from her lips, finally letting go of her arm. mona was extremely upset with you. she knew you were an idiot, but she never would’ve imagined you do this sort of thing. her cheeks flushed with rage as she began to unleash all her anger on you.

“what. were. you. thinking? grabbing my hand as i was plucking berries in the royal garden, and running at full-speed! did you not take a pause and think about the possibility of my master, who was admiring the stars in the balcony, taking a glance below and seeing me carried off to the woods by some lunatic i fell in love with? and how would you consider…”

mona continued along with her rant, but you weren’t really listening to what mona was saying. she stood before you, her deep violet hair illuminated by the moonlight alone. arms crossed, she strutted back and forth, angrily rambling about how careless you were. you admired everything about her; the quick movements she made with her fingers, the way her ponytails swayed along as she strutted back and forth… oh, you were so in love with the woman in front of you.

“...we could’ve been in so much trouble. are you even listening to me?”

you let out a soft chuckle, which made mona’s cheeks burn even more. she didn’t know if she was angry at you or happy to see both of you together in the forest, free from both of your families, and ready to burn the woods with your desires. but alas, she knew that wouldn’t happen; there were too many faults in the stars to ignore.

“[name], don’t you understand? i can’t go back… because of you! and now i’m stuck with you and i don’t have anywhere else to go… just the thought of me waking up to see your ugly face in the morning makes me sick-”

“mona… we both know that you wanted it.”

mona's pupils dilated at the sound of that. “wanted… what?” mona shot a puzzled look at you, but you knew her true intentions. she wasn’t ready to talk about the subject of you and her being together. the both of you were deeply in love the moment the delicate thread of your fate interlocked with hers, tying a beautiful knot. but the both of you knew that unless you did something about it, that knot will slowly fall apart, and the threads that once held each other would finally let go.

“you wanted to be free. to be free and roam across the woods. so what if we cause a forest fire? at least the forests would burn from the desires in our hearts. my longing to be with you grows by the day, and im sure that in the depths of your delicate heart, you have that same longing. mona, the universe has destined our relationship.”

mona bit her lip; as much as she wanted to believe you, she just couldn’t. she could never forget the fine morning when she decided to dive into the depths of the stars, wanting to see the path of destiny laid out for you and her. saying that the path was not charted the way she expected it to would be a bit of an understatement.

“[name], our story is inscribed in the stars, the universe only guides us to the path foretold.”

you let out a deep sigh; unlike mona, you didn’t believe in astronomy. how would you let a few specs in the sky determine your fate? it sounded extremely unrealistic, but you made sure not to mention it to mona. 

“listen, [name], as much as i want to be with you, there is simply no reality in which we would have a happy ending. you know how much the megistus family despises you and your family. besides, the stars don’t paint a pretty picture of us in the sky. i think that it’s… better if we stayed apart.”

no. that wasn’t true, and you both knew it.

you wanted to be with her, even though it would all end up in flames. there’s not a second that went by without you thinking about her. your heart was aching from the distance between you and mona, you couldn’t be separated from her any longer. and you knew that deep down, she felt the same. 

“don’t you get it, [name]? the stars have been inscribed with our fates. must you continue with your pointless convincing?”

mona looked at you with starry eyes, a tear trickling down her cheek. she wanted to believe you, she really did, but the stars said otherwise. you gently cupped her cheeks, causing her cheeks to flush. as you stared more into her eyes, you could see endless galaxies spanning across, hiding the truth of the universe. 

“...why do you keep fighting for a future you know we can’t cherish?”

“because if the stars were truly written, then we can rewrite it.”

fic by @/mxmentos on tumblr. do not repost this fic without my permission.