#im not saying they arent skilled or smart enough or something | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

omegawolverine · 4 years ago

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Yo yo yo Please Rant to me about the hyperfixations you rarely talk about (idk what to ask about specific cause idk much about any of them but i wanna hear!)

i started answering this yesterday and then realized like half way thru that i did not have enough motivation to talk about that hyperfixation atm so sorry this is late lol

but, i will now be talking about...why i think shikamaru and choji should be boyfriends bc i have zero self control and think this topic should be discussed more.

uh, note first tho: i havent finished naruto and i basically only hyperfixated on arcs during the first half of the series, specifically like the chunin exams and the sasuke rescue arcs so if i get things wrong its bc i genuinely just dont fucking remember, dont know or could not care less about the rest of the series

also slight cw for mentions of canonical fatshaming!!

so, for starters, shikacho are supposed to be best friends but no other friends in this show act like them. literally none. not the girls, none of the other guys, you get the point!! and like. i think that's kinda gay. and i would like to discuss why they come off as gay sooooo let's fuckn go:

choji and shikamaru know each other better than anyone to the point where choji is able to predict whether or not shikamaru will cop out of a fight within the first few minutes of it starting. sure, this could be best bros behavior, but also every other relationship in this show, especially the romantic ones, have like. half the development that this one has, if not less, which is saying something considering shikamaru and choji are fucking background characters

shikamaru was chojis first friend and ever since then they've gotten into this thing of knowing what the other does and why kinda stuff?? not gonna elaborate bc this is like a consistent thing that is shown between them lol

shikamaru knows exactly what kind of fighter choji is and knows that he isn't outstanding and loses a lot but still trusts him entirely when they go into fights and depends on him heavily, even if it isnt technically the best idea

shikamaru is the only one who ever defends choji and will yell at people for calling him fat (they're very very reassuring with each other no matter what)

choji is one of the only people to ever realize shikamaru was really smart besides asuma (like before the chunin exams at least)

choji, when told by ino that girls won't like him bc he's fat and they never will, literally looks like he couldn't care less but when shikamaru starts praising him, telling him to just be himself, etc, he gets all blushy...homosexuality, if I do say so myself

shikamaru constantly praises choji on his skills even tho its known that 1) shika doesn't praise people easily and 2) choji isn't very skilled compared to like. most of their peers

shikamaru brings choji on missions even tho he's told by everyone he's dead weight. boyfriend culture my friends-

choji praises shikamaru for being smart constantly and says that without shika they'd be fucked throughout all of their exams. not necessarily gay, I'm just a sucker for bfs praising each other

also choji is the only one who acknowledges and respects shikamaru as a chunin on the mission to get back sasuke. everyone else is complaining and saying it's stupid that they have to follow someone like shikamaru and chojis just like we literally need to listen to him, he is the only one of us who knows what the fuck we're doing and how to do it, he is the only one of us with the fucking brains to pull this shit off, etc. and im like!!! choji!!!!!! we stan!!!!!!!!!!!

anyways theres most definetly more bc i havent finished this series or rewatched the shikacho parts in months but like. idk. i just think they should be shipped more and im pretty sure the main reason they arent is bc choji isnt the stereotypical hot anime boy, which is gross. like. they have the most chemistry out of everyone on that goddamn show but yall ain't gonna ship them bc you don't think chojis hot? weird ass mfers

#shit self #naruto #shikacho #asks #ik naruto wasnt one i mentioned in my post asking for asks but i just did not feel like discussing serious shit and most of the things i #mentioned were serious shows or st least needed tws and i just. am lazy. and tired lol #wanted to talk gay fluff so here #shikamaru nara #choji akimichi #info dump #bangerz

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whatifyoulivelikethat · 4 years ago

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from an anon, about parents and school

(it's just long, that's why it's under a break XD)

here's my proposition: make parents understand that not every child should conform to whatever traditional career paths that exist. as an asian, i could feel the pressure to take science like a fucking boulder on my body. i have to rant a bit.

i am the younger sibling, my brother is two years elder to me. i was never instilled any curiosity in anything science related, i was kinda left all by myself lol. my brother tho, maybe because he was older or because he was a guy (yeah LMFAO), was encouraged AND involved in a LOT of coding, mechanix (its a construct-ur-own-stuff thing).

i guess i never really noticed until i was leaving middle school, that i was not as smart as him, and would probably never be. but i had other strengths he didnt have. i love writing, im pretty good at it. i am analytical and subejctive, i like thinking and making conclusions about things. i mean i guess i've figured out what i could be better at, right? but the problem?

its that my parents dont see it. its as if they dont know me or they DO know me and are just forcing the things they need onto me. it feels selfish of them to completely forgo my actual strengths. like YES OK i UNDERSTAND i can never be as smart as my brother, but u dont have to pretend like i can. because pretending that i can achieve whatever he has, is just going to affect YOU. because i have accepted long ago that some things arent for me.

they think i dont want to put effort into anything i do. that im lazy and want the easy way out. god, every time they say this i want to honestly show them that its the things IM interested in, where i put in the work. its so belittling.

ive written articles abt bts, their music, about how carl jungs theory of archetypes and i occasionally ask a lot of questions about the world to you (hi lol). i just dont get why they want me to waste energy on something im clearly uninterested in.

short answer, point to BTS and say, "They're Asian, they make tons of money. Leave me alone."

just kidding XD

If I'm being serious, I don't think they will change their mind. They will continue to force their ideals onto you, because they believe in certain career paths had assured success and that is what they are after. They either want you to make a certain amount of money, have a certain status in life, or simply know that you can obtain a stable job. To be honest, these are not really traditional career paths at all if you think about it. Becoming a doctor takes many, many years and it is hard ass work. Parents just make it seem as if these are the only jobs available to you, even if you know it's not true.

Men vs women in Asian countries, well, I feel everyone knows this, but many Asian parents born in their respective countries put more effort into their sons than daughters. Firstborn son? He probably walks on water to them XD

I understand what you mean when you say your parents do not understand. This might sound egotistical (it does now that I'm writing it, I am very sorry) but I was the one in my family who got the best grades. None of my siblings got better grades than me (basically I had a 4.0 from middle school to university), and do you think with all that I would be immune?

Nope.

I am good at the sciences and I am good at the humanities as well. I had an interest in reading, writing, and drawing. Reading fiction, I could pass it off to educate myself. Writing? I could pass it off as something for school. But drawing?

Woo, boy.

This was a constant fight. I do not back down (a rebel, wcyd) and I drew and it would get ripped apart. I drew and it would get torn up and thrown away. I drew and and would be beaten, yelled at, constantly belittled for my interest in it even though I was good at the sciences and math. To my mom (my dad doesn't count, he had zero interest in parenting) - if she did not think it was going to make money in the future, it was useless. If I could not spin it into profit, I should not be doing it (very fun childhood I had, yes). The most ironic thing is, after I became an adult, she suggested I start drawing again and sell it to make money.

Hello?

You literally forced me to stop drawing because you constantly connected it with negativity???

(not now, I have since stopped talking to her and started drawing again and it is purely for myself, not to show anyone else, I do not even post it on social media or show anyone irl)

Not saying your parents will act like mine, btw, only sharing my experience.

The idea that you'll never be as smart as your brother? That's bullshit lol. That's like saying intelligence is only valuable if it's science or math, which, as you know, is not true. You are you. He is himself. It is not you cannot do those things. It is that those things are not what you want to focus on. You have a limited amount of time in this life and you have chosen the things you want to delve into and explore.

You don't have to be good at everything. Everything is just not good enough for you.

I am of the mindset that you should try and learn everything you can about this world. I love learning, personally. I think knowing everything I know, from the humanities to the sciences, enriches my life and gives me a broader perspective.

But I totally understand how you feel, because being pushed into something makes you end up hating it. Parents push their kids to learn this or that and kids end up resenting schoolwork because it doesn't feel like something they wanna do anymore. It's just adults yapping in their ears and it feels pointless. Grades aren't everything. You think anyone cares that I aced Physics with Calculus I and II as an adult? LMAO, no one gives a shit. You passed, good enough XD

Here's how I think you should treat school. It's not the content that matters. It's you understanding how you learn each subject. Every subject is different and how you learn them is different. It is not because you are bad at the subject, it is because you haven't figured out the best learning style for you. Teachers have to teach a mass of students and, yes, I understand this seems very tedious to have to "teach yourself".

The skill in learning to learn becomes so, so valuable as an adult. It is how you maintain interest in things, how you develop new interests, and how will come to find meaning (in whatever you want to focus on finding meaning for). I'm not saying that you will be able to find your perfect learning style in every subject, but I am encouraging you to simply see it in that light.

And, you might find certain things to be not that important to you, in which case, just pass the class, it's totally fine if it's not going to help you for the career path you're going for XD Nobody asks me about the themes of William Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet" (tbh, a pair of overdramatic loons) or how I feel about Sigmund Freud (actually a twat, but that's neither here nor there).

Let them talk. That one that walks your path is you. Focus on what you want to focus on. They are set in their ways and they way to show them there are different paths is to walk them.

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takasgf · 4 years ago

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Late with the whole ask game but sweaters, stranger, and dance alone!!!

Also just putting this here as well but Ishigeru is such an Ultimate Comfort Ship of mine!! And I'm being serious about that. <3 Like if Froggy were canon, I'd immediately worship her and her ship wholeheartedly! I have so much to say about her and Ishigeru but I can't put them in just words. xD But really though they're an Ultimate OTP. <3

Hello!! You aren't late ^_^ ! Thank you for the ask <33

> sweaters: how do you help your f/o after a long day? vice versa?

Both of them work hard, so these types of days happen quite often. Frogeru always makes his favourite meals and snacks and stops him if he tries to help; he denies being tired, but she can tell that's not true. She tries her best to convince him to sit down and let her do the cooking on her own for that evening. She appreciates the help a lot, but if he's too tired she can't stand seeing him do any type of work. Frog also lets him brush her hair; it's a comforting activity for both of them. When Froggy has a tiring day, Taka usually watches something on the tv with her! Even if he isn't a fan of the thing they are watching, he will sit on the couch and hug his girlfriend for as long as needed. He also tries cooking for her, but if that fails, he'll just order one of her comfort foods instead :3

> stranger: does your f/o have any regrets?

Ok, I haven't checked out the source material in months and I don't feel like doing it any soon, so I can't remember if he said anything about this in canon ;_; So I'll just say a headcanon instead!! I think he might regret a bit not being interested in any media while he was growing up. Of course, he loves what he does, he is passionate about his work but I feel like he missed out on a lot of things by focusing on studying only. Despite being book-smart, his social skills arent quite the best.. He said he 'will study' things like shows, music, games etc but that's why I don't think he might experience them in a fullfilling way. He treats it like it's a subject at school, which you must know everything about, and forgets about actually having fun with it. He hears Frogeru talk about pop culture, internet, shows and music all the time, wishing he could be more invested in those things, in order to show Frog he cares about her interests. For Frogeru it doesn't matter if he likes the same things as her or not tho, she just wants him to listen. And he does!! And that's enough for her to feel loved♡

But he has enough time!! Froggy will be sure to help him get invested properly in media, not to have another disscussion subject, but to actually enjoy it <33 This makes little sense, im sorry, but i find it a bit hard to express myself seriously in english T__T

> dance alone: how do you & your f/o deal with being physically far from each other? is it something that’s commonplace?

Thankfully, that doesn't happen quite often. They live in the same town and go to the same school; of course, they'll also move in together in the future. However, if they are separated, they make sure to keep in contact at all times. They call eachother (with the video option/idk the name; a video call basically) a lot. If they don't have that option, they text eachother. If that's not an option either because there is no signal or wi-fi, they try to remain calm. They miss eachother a lot in the process;; Sometimes they get super worried something might have happened to their partner, but they try to distract themselves until they can communicate again. Froggy is more paranoid about it and sometimes has to talk to her friends to get reassurance he is alright;;

Honestly, I can't thank you enough for all your support and appreciation; It makes me so soo happy to hear that you genuinely enjoy my silly ship...Thank you <33 I am so grateful for all the nice things you've said. We need more people like you in this world♡ You're awesome!!! ^_^

#ishigeru #octo shall talk now #long post

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bemey · 3 years ago

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[found this in my drafts] Skwisgaar, Toki, and Murderface in Tamriel

combining my hyperfixations let's gooooooooooooooooo

Skwisgaar Skwigelf

it's very obvious that as a Swede, his race in a fantasy universe would be that fantasy universe's version of our world's ye olde Scandinavians (aka, he'd be a Nord, duh) BUT i like to think if you gave him a pair of fake elf ears matching his skintone, he'd pass as just a really pale Altmer

he's beautiful, tall, slender, arrogant and talented, im sure he'd fit right in with either group, maybe even less so with Nords since Nord society values brute strength and high tolerance for alcohol, of which Skwisgaar has neither (I know he beat up that one guy with his guitar once BUT!!! he's absolutely the least violent fifth of Dethklok)

as a non-metal-musician in Tamriel im sure he'd have mastered a magic school instead of electric guitar, but i can't really figure out *which* school, *maybe* enchanting, *maybe* mysticism, but if i had to pick i'd settle on one of the schools governed by Willpower (alteration, destruction and restoration) because, let's be real, he's more dedicated (to his life passion) than he is intelligent >_>;;

the thing is, i'd make an argument that epic guitar solos heal people (not physically), so that'd be restoration, BUT if he was in a party of sorts I can't really imagine him as just a healer on the sidelines (that's Toki and Mface's thing hehehe), he needs something, hm...... Flashier. like fireball spells, but then again he's not really violent on the show and doesnt get into many fights (unlike SOMMMEEE people), so i'd say both Destruction and Restoration

BUT there's also Illusion magic, with which you seduce, make yourself shiny, paralyse, calm people etc and i cant think of a better analogy for guitar playing that stuns you and puts you into a trance because it's just so good

(also FYI nord males get a penalty in willpower and personality but i suppose he overcomes that, because i have trouble imagining him not heavily using skills governed by those stats)

and for the class- im forcing myself to pick from the set of 21 standard classes and looking at (this page) for reference because if i took custom classes into account it'd really complicate things-

an obvious answer'd be Bard, which makes sense because, you know, being popular and attractive, but in a gameplay sense it's more stealth and less magic (also if we picked bard just because he's a musician in the MTL universe, all other DK members would be bards too and that's pretty lame)

looking at the page i linked, the ''Healer'' class fits the bill, governing personality, willpower, destruction, restoration, speechcraft, and illusion. i wont lie, it doesnt sound the coolest (compare to a class desc like Nightblade, now that shit's awesome), but it makes the most sense to me

TL;DR nord by blood BUT looks and acts like a high elf, class: healer

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Toki Wartooth a nord as well but! i've met plenty of nord dudes in ES games who are really nice to me but kind of not too smart (think Thrud in Godsreach in Mornhould the city that came with Tribunal the DLC for TES3 Morrowind), and im not saying Toki isn't smart (he's educated enough, has geeky interests, knows a thing or two about model-plane building, i think he might be one of the smarter DK members actually) but a nearly-fatal flaw is his naivety which would unfortunately translate into a low intelligence or maybe personality stat in a TES game

when you have a low personality stat, NPCs dont like you as much, and (in Morrowind) whatever options you pick while Persuading an NPC are less effective, even taunt and intimidate)

but i wanna argue in the case of Toki in Tamriel, that low personality stat wouldn't come in the form of being an intimidating douchebag, because we all know Toki's really, really nice, and he has his moments of being a jerk on the show, but he's mostly kind and polite, especially to strangers, and *definitely* holds the title of ''Dethklok member most likely to agree to an autograph and selfie with a fan after a concert and then give them a friendly hug''

it's difficult for me to decide which attributes he'd govern, and a lowered luck isn't possible at character creation, but i'd lower it if possible

high strength, yes, i can imagine Toki with either a blunt or blade

high willpower, competent with restoration and destruction like Skwisgaar, but not as dedicated to the mastery, duh

high endurance- knowing the shit he's been through, might be pretty high

(''cheats death'' and ''unpredictable'' are both keywords i'd describe Toki by)

i have my eyes on either Crusader or Spellsword BUT I thought the class description for Scout fit Toki just perfect and I even made a little joke about it to my friend once

TL;DR nord spellsword or crusader, but i'd pick spellsword if i was forced to choose

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William Murderface

ive been so exicted to get to this one because, hear me out- khaijit pilgrim

Murderface's spirit animal is a dang tiger, man, and now it's true Murderface isn't very athletic or agile like a khaijit BUT listen, in Oblivion Khaijit get a daily power that let's them intimidate opponents because they're like, big cats, literally, like a tiger or lion and wouldn't you run if you saw one IRL? AND Murderface isnt very popular with fans, which I'd imagine would translate into low personality maybe, but Mface is dare i say pretty dang skilled at making people hate him or hate others or get into fights, aka using a high personality stat for bad (taunt/intimidate) not good (admire), which is why I instantly thought he'd be a Pilgrim (''They profit in life by bartering in the market, or by persuading the weak-minded.'')

look me in the eye and tell me lockpicking, sneaking and punching people arent things Murderface would love to do, also scamming merchants and stabbing people, and khaijit conveniently get a small bonus in Blade and you know who loves knives? M u r d e r f a c e

inappropiately urinating in places? cat. face like an inbred white tiger? cat. sneaky jerk? cat. also i just really want him to be a catboy, man

i did think of him as an Orc too because of the whole martial culture and being a race that was cursed with 'ugliness' (not always true, some orcs are pretty hot), *but* the martial culture orcs have isnt really the barfight kind nords or dunmer have, it's more organised and honourable is it not? they take fighting seriously

would you say Murderface'd rather practice like blunt weaponry all night and day, then go to war and die for his clan, *or* would he sneak in a tavern, steal shit, insult someone, then get into a bar fight? that's what i thought !!!!

fuckin obviously you cant appoint the latter to khaijit because that'd be racist and im not a huge fan of discrimination against beastfolk myself, an orc could be a thief too, but have a look at this:

(for orcs), and the minuses in intelligence is mostly what makes me think Murderface wouldnt be an orc because he's pretty smart

smart as in street-smart and smart with people, specifically at what makes people mad or do ugly things, and thats something I have to hand to Willy, he's cunning even if not always sucessful in that endeavor because of his bad luck and unattractiveness, but in terms of raw people-skills he's not so bad

and for his class- I know i said pilgrim earlier but i wanna consider some alternatives: rogue or thief

''a tongue as sharp as a blade'', and ''profits from the losses of others''? both Murderfacecore, but I might wanna stick with Pilgrim just because they're history nerds

TL;DR Khaijit pilgrim

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(this was an old wip i found in my drafts so i havent written Pickles's or Nathan's parts yet >_> sorry, i do have the ideas ready in my head though) (also feel free to share your opinions)

#adhd hyperfixation #ramble #tesblr #metalocalypse #the elder scrolls #skwisgaar skwigelf #toki wartooth #william murderface #nonner made this #urine m

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fckeverything-v · 5 years ago

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1. Do you bite or lick ice cream? Lick

2. What is home to you? Alabama:/

3. What was the last lie you told? I couldnt tell you

4. Does everyone deserve the truth? Maybe not?

6. Describe a moment in which you did something unacceptable in a bad situation. Walk away, move states..

7. List two things that are more easily done than said. (No, I didn't mix them up.) Being alone & fuck irdk

8. When was the last time you worked really hard to achieve something? Mhm 4 years ago.

9. How many all nighters have you pulled? A lotttt haha

10. If humans didn't evolve to laugh or smile, how would we express our happiness instead? Woah people express that? no but humans would probably bone all the time.

11. How many romantic "things" or "flings" have you had? Only 2 (technically 3) serious relationships. Many flings.

12. What is your paradise? I dont have one :(

13. What is your favorite background noise? (Ex. Water dripping, people talking.) Music

14. How many hearts do you think you have broken? Only 1... maybe 2 soon. (not you hehe.)

15. What is the most important thing about electronics? What does this say about you? Finding friendships through social media or other platforms. And mhm probably that im a lonely pos

16. Why do people care about celebrities? Do you care about celebrities? Because they're pretty. Not really.

17. What is the most annoying thing someone can do to you? Chew loud.

18. Do you overexaggerate? What are the pros and cons of this? Eh, yeah. And I cant think of any pros.

19. Have you played any instruments before? Which instruments? Piano, saxophone

20. Do you like taking selfies? Why or why not? No. I stare at it until i hate it.

21. List 3 things you like about yourself?

22. What is the best advice someone has ever given you? To not give up. As simple as that sounds.

23. Do you have what it takes to raise a child? Why or why not? No. Dont you need to be mentally stable- i would hope so..

24. How do you cheer yourself up after a bad day? Play games for hours.

25. When was the last time you felt awkward? Ha. Literally 5 minutes ago.

26. Are you introverted or extroverted? Or a mixture of both? Introverted x100000

27. What constitutes a good friend? Someone who doesnt give up on you amd atleast tries to understand.

28. Would you rather have a lot of friends to hang out with or just one best friend? One best friend.

29. In a regular day, what do you not want to hear? 'Hey hows your day going'

30. What is your dream job? Fuck, is this still a question.. to be a homicide detective in the biggest city i can think of.

31. Is it better to be lazy but smart or hardworking but unintelligent? Lazy and smart DUH

32. What is a truth about yourself that others find hard to believe?

33. What have you always wondered about the other gender? What it feels like to GET OFF. DUH.

34. Which fantasy world would you like to visit the most? Um my own dreams i guess.

35. Describe the worst friend you have ever befriended. Im not wasting my time describing that.

36. Imagine that you have switched bodies with someone you don't know. You can't switch back. What do you do? Live it up. I think id feel happy honestly.

37. If you found the recipe for immortality, would you sell it or would you burn it? Mh. Sell it, their problem now and im rich.

38. What is the most important, applicable class you have ever taken? Current events.

39. Name the last book you read. Dammed- chuck palahniuk

40. Imagine that you are unable to express emotion. How would this affect your world? No change

41. When was the last time you made the first move? Um never..

42. What is your opinion on electronic music such as dubstep or trap? Trash

43. What was the last tv show youve watched? Rick and Morty.

44. Do you like and appreciate your life? I appreciate what i am trying to do.

45. Do you like and appreciate yourself?

46. When was the last time you cried? Yesterday

47. What are you scared of? Heights.

48. What is the most embarrassing, cringe-worthy thing you have ever done? Um live my life everyday probably.

49. What are some of your hobbies? .... literally WORSE question. I smoke cigs. Is that a hobby?

50. What is a superficial yet annoying mistake you constantly make?

51. Are you a good friend? What makes you a good friend? If not, what makes you a bad friend? I feel like i am both. I try to be there for them. But also, im so hard to get so i feel like i might come off the wrong way a lot.

52. Do you honestly learn from your mistakes? Honestly; nope.

53. What have you learned the hard way? Not to care what people think. After wasting my whole life. Im starting to realize it doesnt matter.

54. What is the most important thing to have in order to attain happiness? Follow your heart

56. Are you a creative or a logical thinker? Both but probably logical.

57. What is the smartest thing you have ever done?

58. What is your ideal meal? Fuckk probably so good ass chicken with some gooooood asssssss mac and cheese. As lame as that sounds hahaha.

59. What is the worst thing someone could do on a date? 1. Go on date with me

60. Do you like animals? Which kind is your favorite? Yeah and dogs are cute but i love elephants.

61. If you could turn one legal thing illegal, what would it be? Christmas.

62. Do you have any guilty pleasures? Of courseeeee (;

63. What is the best thing that the internet has ever created? Video games.

64. Do you like playing video games? Which video games? Woah you read my mind of sum? Shooter games.

65. What is your opinion on beauty in today's society? Bullshit

66. Are you a morning person? When do you usually wake up? No not really and like 5pm nowadays.

67. Do you have a favorite Disney movie? Character? No

68. Would you rather live in the city or in the countryside? City but i love the countryside

69. Would you rather live near the ocean or in the mountains? Mountains

70. What are the best things about winter? Cold. Even though i hate it. Snow. Even if i dont see it. Trees dying.

71. What scares you most about the future? Literally everything.

72. What makes you feel old? Doing nothing.

73. How many hours do you spend on the computer or phone on average? Idk like 5.

74. What are some of your New Year's resolutions? Be a better me.

75. What is your life story in 6 words?

76. Describe yourself in one word. Awkward.

77. What bad habits do you do? Smoking

78. What genre of music do you listen to? everything

79. Most prominent childhood memory? I would say, but its embarrassing that that's the memory.

80. Imagine if you had an older brother. If you already have one, what is it like? If you don't, how would this change your life? My life would be so different. Maybe i would have someone to talk to.

81. Spirit animal?

82. Do you believe in horoscopes? Yes

83. What is the worst advice you've ever been given?

84. List the 3 most important people in your life right now. 1. Fox 2. Fox 3. Fox

85. Favorite memory of your family. :/

86. What do you look for in a relationship? Happiness

87. Do you have a role model? Why or why not? No. I dont need it. But now that i think about it i have one role model.

88. What is your opinion on social media? Dumb

89. Are you a pessimist or an optimist? Pessimest

90. List some things that you think are overpriced? Food

91. What is your worst memory or creepiest experience? ..

92. What superpower would ruin the world? Any of them

93. What is something you swore you would never do when you grew up, but you did anyway? Exactly what im doing now. Nothing. Giving up. Dropping out

94. What lessons have you learned from movies and which movies were they? Dont trust yourself when you know you arent okay. Fight club

95. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? Europe

96. How do you approach people? I dont but i guess a smile.

97. What is your opinion on first impressions? I think theyre okay. Only if you dont judge.

98. What are some things you did as a child that you no longer do? Lol play with imaginary friends

99. What languages can you speak? English

100. What do you think society will be like in 30 years? Lol hopefully ill be dead bc that shit sounds terrible

101. What do you do on your lazy days? Play games.

102. What ended your last relationship? I had enough.

103. Favorite food? Soul food

104. What is the most terrifying dream you've ever had? Fuck im not saying.

105. When was the last time you got seriously angry? Last night

106. What was the last friendship you broke? My friend Ashley:(

107. Do you have any pet peeves? Close minded people

108. Who was the last person you gave a hug to? Zack

109. When was the last time you got seriously stressed? Last night

110. What part of your personality do you want to change? I dont have one.

111. Who is the most positively influential person in your life right now? My sister Grace.

112. What is your biggest motivation? My siblings. Faith & Grace.

113. What did you want to be when you were little? Honestly i never knew.

114. What are some things that you are good at? Smokin weed

115. What is one thing you want to be good at? Social skills

116. What distracts you the most, especially when you're trying to work? My mind

117. How important is privacy to you? Eh pretty significant i guess.

118. If you could create one social norm, what would it be? Be friends with everybody.

119. What's the craziest lie you've ever told? Um.. i told my 2nd grade teacher my family died in a car crash.

120. What story do you like to tell about yourself at parties? I dont go to parties haaha

121. What is the lamest thing that you have seen someone do? have friends and socialize too much like woah calm down you know youre still alone.. right. Like its only you. Hahah jk. But irdk.

122. What is the stupidest thing you've done to impress someone? a guy invited me over and ive never done anything sexual before so i pretended like i knew and i hurt his dick like bad. (We didnt have sex)

123. What is your morning routine? Wake up, wash face, brush teeth, get dressed, and then boom feel sad

124. What's the last thing you did that is worth remembering?

125. If karma was coming back to you, would it help or hurt you? Help

126. What is your opinion on playing "hard to get?" Being sort of isolated like not opening up. Which is okay bc if they want you they'll wait.

127. What are the pros and cons of straightforward? Cons, you may hurt feelings. Pro, you know yourself and what you want to say congratulations

128. What do you consider "leading" someone on? Being fake happy.

129. Are you the friendzoner or the friendzoned? Friendzoner

130. What do you admire most about your friends? How beautiful he is. Inside & out.

131. What do you admire most about your family? They're still here.

132. What is your opinion on "going with the flow?" You may forget where you are trying to go. Or who you are.

133. Do you enjoy talking or listening? Listening.

134. When is it time to end a friendship? Idk

135. What is the worst excuse you've ever come up with? Lol too many.

136. If GPA didn't matter, what courses would you have taken? Doesnt matter.

137. What are your favorite baby names? Ive always liked Riley for a girl name and idk havent thought Bout a boys name.

138. When was the last time you had a deep conversation with someone? Maybe a week or so ago. Or a few days ago.

139. What instantly ruins a conversation? Lack of excitement

140. Biggest turn ons and turn on offs. Affection. And idk

143. When did you last do something outside of your comfort zone? God every day.

147. What do you like about the 21st century? ???

141. Biggest disappointment. Myself

142. Do you have any self-restraint? A little.

144. Prized possession(s)? little things

145. What is your opinion on second chances? They might seem okay but idk.... depends i guess

146. Text or call? Both, depends on whom im texting or callin

148. What advice would you give to yourself 5 years ago? Life is hard and stupid but choices you make will stay with you forever so what are you gonna do, follow your heart or head? (head is better hope)

149. How organized are you? Eh not really anymore.

150. Favorite mode of transportation. My car

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homestucky · 6 years ago

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ok ok this is like not anything new but still since i havent been on here i havent fully ranted about this yet. big long rant incoming

re the epilogue (spoilers etc)

ok. i have onl y read meat. but fucking? dirk? dirk? ok? dirk??

no.

i am aware of what happens in candy. i know he dies.

i also know in the version i read, in meat, he becomes his ultimate self, all versions of dirk. as many people have said, this includes AR, this includes bro, this includes even to some degree, LE. its an interesting idea ill give you that. but its also.... shitty and not backed enough by well, anything?

so heres my personal rant about the shitty things in Meat.

when i first finished it i couldnt help but think. was the dirk narrative even necessary? on the one hand it was meant to be the MAIN PLOT and it defined the narration etc, but.... it honestly didnt seem to have any importance. i know it was likely a set up to imply future stuff like making the next sburb or whatever but like

who CARES? why on earth would that be interesting or important? maybe im crazy but like, the ‘b plot’ which was mostly about character relationships and jobs in earth c, was compelling and enjoyable. the narrative with john ‘not important and not the main character anymore’ egbert had details and conclusions ACTUALLY RELATING TO HOMESTUCK, THE COMIC I LIKE AND WANTED TO READ AN EPILOGUE FOR. it was tragic and frankly very upsetting! im not saying i liked it!! but the tragedy felt compelling and significant.

i appreciate that dirk as narrator IS BIASED so him saying that these narratives are less important is inherently like. not to be trusted but. just. i cant help but feel like you could have cut the whole ‘main dirk reality affecting’ narrative OUT

and that seems to me maybe like... not good? if such a central part of your narrative has almost no bearing on homestuck or anything anyone cares about?

but im sure there are other people who found it compelling and necessary. thats fair. cant relate but you do you. there are other issues.

me saying that the dirk narrative felt weirdly isolated and insignificant sounds pretty weird given that it put jade into a coma, manipulated kanayas mind, effectively killed rose and destroyed rosemary right? WELL that brings me on to the next thing. people have noted that meat barely passes the bechdel test. and hey, sometimes things like that can just be a coincidence or unlucky. but the repeated erasure of the female characters minds, motives, identities and autonomy was???? a little too consistent to dismiss. like ok terezi was still her dope self in a lot of ways. jane kinda did some stuff (under dirks direction, and only shitty stuff but . whatever).

(sidebar: ofc it doesnt make sense to talk about calliope and roxy in the context of the female characters in Meat but either way they were very in the background. like cool an all, and i always love roxy. and i respect they were mostly just minding their own businesses??? which is fair)

i just. urgh. homestuck has such a genuinely good track record of giving female characters genuine motivations and powerful abilities etc. the fact that almost ALL the female characters involved were working for or manipulated by DIRK. DIRK of all people. is like... is this even based off the real comic? idgi????

roses loss of autonomy.... rose is such an important character. and she goes along with everything dirk says because dirk is suddenly all OP and ‘theyre basically the same person anyway’ like i get that there was some magic bullshit going on or whatever but at the end of the day rose was still written as weak and passive. dirk as strong and skilled and decisive. i get the undertones.. hes a prince of heart. a destroyer of souls, and identities. he messed with kanayas identity , destroyed roses, repeatedly ignored roxys and calliopes, and god i wont even get started on jake yet. but that doesnt make it satisfying to read. or even really feasible.

so theres a possibility im missing something. but im confused about WHY dirk is allowed this power. in the narrative its waved off as a kind of ‘i guess because im like a prince of heart or whatever and im just super good at managing identities and being a strong boy’ like ok if theres some implication somewhere that that is MEANT to be a bogus explanation id be interested to know because it sounds pretty goddamn bogus. why would this happen to dirk? why? literally? one reason? one that makes sense? because there arent any i can think of. why, in the new universe, would dirk, a prince of heart, manifest into a narrative controlling supergod. and fucking WHEN has dirk showed any actual capabilities in this area before?? he KINDA sucked at it in the game. dirks an idiot! hes smart and capable in like, some ways but. its like

why is dirk so powerful suddenly -> its because hes become super ultimate dirk -> ... ok why -> uh because like. hes just so naturally inclined towards being a great manipulator yknow..... canonically.... uhhhh

it just. canon dirk to epilogue dirk is the most ridiculous leap character wise, skill wise, arc wise, personality wise, with minimal reasonable explanation.

which brings me on to the next thing. so i roasted dirk and said he wasnt strong enough to be able to manipulate things this well. well, obviously through some other means dirk HAS been afforded this power. but what about his personality? its obviously gonna be warped with self importance and knowing how things ‘have to be’. but hes heartless, cruel and hateful. in some ways it seems like canon dirk levels of ruthlessness, especially when it shows that he is actually doing something dumb and petty like his treatment of jake. that shows that he STILL has emotional connection to people as dirk. he also seems to care about some people, like dave and roxy, and cracks jokes and wants to have ‘fun’. this makes the ways in which hes so warped and cruel seem even worse. maybe on the one hand im giving dirk too much credit, everyone knows he has the potential to be a real bastard. but i dont think that was the trajectory he was on when we last saw him. and if this is truly due to him just.. becoming other versions of himself too including LE and bro and stuff..like. i dont see how it could have gotten that bad without say, roxy or dave noticing.

‘oh they didnt notice because hes just so good at hiding’ why on earth would i believe that!! dave especially this is kinda insulting for. dave is shown to have an almost supernatural ability to detect danger. partially this might be timeline stuff, knight stuff, but also notably im sure his upbringing is involved too. he was trained to be hypervigilant. who was he trained to be hypervigilant for? bro. bros manipulation and traps. near the end of the epilogue we show that dave IS capable of detecting the mindfuckery thats happening. how would that not set off 1 million alarm bells? theres literally apparently a twisted dirk-bro mutant INSIDE HIS HEAD telling him what to do. i just. know that scene was played for comedy and romance but at the very least thats gotta like???? mess with u if ur traumatised? and thats like , why i think dave should have had an inkling abt what was going on!! this is exactly the thing he hates and fears and was traumatised by! and it just going under his nose n him not even knowing , and still pretty recently being all buddy buddy with dirk seems just stupid and infeasible to me. maybe this is me being naive or kind of a stretch but i just feel like daves danger instincts would have been kicking up a whole assed ruckus that whole time.

also kind of unrelated but i associate sunglasses with strider style toxic masculinity and hiding things so like. ok transitioning or changing gender presentation is one thing but roxy apparently permanently wearing sunglasses makes me NERVOUS

and ill probably wrap up this mighty rant soon but i wanna also say jake was done so fucking dirty. i know he was like, meant to be, because for some reason god dirk just hated him? like ok petty much. but. urgh jake is such an interesting character with a lot of potential and while i appreciate that him being manipulated by someone who may reasonably have a problem with him may make him do stupid and embarrassing stuff, all the narrative seems to have taken a backward step in how hes represented. jake isnt stupid, dirk clearly knew this in canon and he maybe was the only one even including jake. and there was some acknowledgement of this near the beginning of the epilogue. but then for some reason it goes back on itself. everyone still thinks jake is just completely stupid, including the embittered superdirk. so yeah i guess hes upset with jake or whatever but. its still dissatisfying to be like oh yeah jake isnt stupid he actually has a complex set of motivations and potential etc BUT over the X number of yrs on earth c no one else has realised this yet?? hmm. then his narrative is just gonna end up with him being a total joke and essentially becomes as stupid and incompetent as his worst critics say he is. feasible given the mind control ? yeah. enjoyable to read or having any kind of satisfying bearing on anything? nope!

so anyway. i feel like any criticism i have could be argued back with ‘but oh it has to be this way’ or ‘mind control!!’ or ‘not everything has to be nice and happy !!’ but like. dude. there are flaws. many of them. and seeing characters just get shat on is never gonna be good writing.

#hs epilogue #epilogue #meat #epilogue spoilers

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rqs902 · 6 years ago

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qcyn ep 8 aka the loss of some real talent..... (but also, thankfully, some needed recognition was given as well)

psa im probably gonna be posting stuff involving some spoilers soon, so ill tag them as #qcyn spoilers and you can feel free to block those posts if you dont want to see them!

awwwwwww shi mingze helping mingming get people’s attention is the cutest friendship!!! mingming is so quiet... i love a supportive mingze!!! also thank you iqiyi for giving him more screentime!! i can notice it already!

LOL sun zelin in this rap heavy group..... but this group is already the most fun group hahahah omg ye ziming talking about the fact that he knows he’s not likely gonna make it so he needs to help those kids who are more popular get better......... UGH WHY DO PEOPLE NOT RECOGNIZE THIS AMAZING CHILD. oh my goodness this is so sad.... the fact that THE KIDS WHO KNOW WHAT THEYRE DOING had to make a club dedicated to helping the kids who dont.... bc they know theyll make it instead of themselves....... that just means that they all know the next elim is gonna get rid of a whole lot of real talent. thats so messed up.... this whole montage is like iqiyi being like “thanks for helping our kids look nice on stage, once you’re done, you’re gonna be forced to leave. byeeeee”

OMGOMGOMGOMOGMOGMOMGG LIN MO IS A CANDIDATE FOR CENTERRRR YESSSSSSSS I CANT BELIEVE!!!!! AMAZING!!!! also look at all the tyger members together aww

LOL lian huaiwei is just so funny just talking LOL. wait. so about that clip of lin mo helping chaoyuan and youwei that came out earlier this week. chaoyuan and youwei arent even in his half of the group. that means lin mo went out of his way to help them even tho he hasnt been practicing with them as closely as like huaiwei. wow he not only helped his own group but he went out to make sure everyone in their larger group got special help, AND youwei still called him “teacher” which means lin mo is probably regularly helping him. wow. man,, they didnt show any of lin mo’s group’s practice wtf........ i swear iqiyi is about to drop jia yi or something bc i thought theyd at least wanna show some of him.... but the small bit we saw of their dance wow lin mo is gonna do sooo well ahhhh he looks so good already, even in these lumpy practice clothes, im so excited to see him on stage

lol yaoyao (yao bolan) is in the super cute grouppp hahahhaha but ahh him talking about every faking their happiness really.... shows how observant and sensitive he is to his friends’ feelings, which is aw....

OMG THEY JUST SKIPPED ANNOUNCING the lower ranks ???? i mean i get u gotta be time efficient, but thats a little too efficient??? omg but sun zelin!!! and wu chengze!!! and wu zelin!! omg wang jiayi dropped so much. iqiyi has seriously just dropped him like a hot potato wow. CHEN SIJIAN WENT UP WHOOOO lol the creativity is real in this one hahahaha his speech

ok im sorry but wtf how did these three (14-16) get in front of lin mo, excuse me???? sigh.... oh well, at least hes still within top 20, i just want him to at least make it to top 20... lol they only let like 3 kids talk...... this is just too efficient yall.....

omgosh........ shi zhan and yaoyao........... ahhhhhhhhhhhh my heart ;;;;; yaoyao’s smile......... another bg project boy is gonna leave ahhh

yao chi’s speech omg..... the child has seriously been through a lot of mental trauma look at how much he’s shaking goodness

omg i cant believe jia yi dropped so much...... wtf.......... are people blind???? iqiyi is really about to drop him omg i really think they havent been giving him enough screentime alskdjlk wow way to randomly cut off jia yi’s thank you to zhan yu.... wtf i need more jia yi + zhan yu time.... zhan yu is like jia yi’s favorite gege.... omg zhan yu’s tears ahhh zhan yu may say that he wishes he could be the maknae but he honestly cares so much for jia yi, even tho he’s not much older than him, its so aw.....

omg i just looked up ye ziming on weibo and hes friends with guanguan, changbin, zhu zijie and zhong yixuan??? omggg fandom clash wowow

this segment with these kids with disabilities........ i dont know how i feel about this...... it feels problematic to me....... the trainees dont know what theyre doing, so how is this benefitting these children? if anything its just to make the trainees look like theyre doing some great charity work or something, but i dont appreciate the attitude some of them have towards these kids... i get theyre frustrated and werent properly prepared to interact with them, which i dont blame them for, but its like why is this segment even a thing, iqiyi??? theyre just coming in and using these kids as a backdrop to make themselves look nice, and not actually doing anything sustainable or meaningful to help them... what good is it to get these kids to like them and get familiar with them just for them to leave within a few hours? its just another person who came and left........

omg guan yue is second omg good for you, child!!!!!!!!!!!!! good good good im glad, he deserves it!!!!!!!

lol they better show the other rounds of this basketball tournament in the extra clips..............

these ads are getting more and more ridiculous im ??? cowboys ??? ?

NOOOOO ZHAN YU!!!!!!!!! 37!??!!?!!! I CANT BELIEVE THEYRE SO CLOSE AGAIN!!!!! ALSKDJLKJLK FIRST ZHEN NAN 61 AND NOW ZHAN YU 37 AGHHHHHH ok but i cant even be mad at yuzhi bc i know he deserves it too.

OMG WHY THE FRICK WOULD YOU CHOOSE WENHAN /?!?!??? AGAIN!??//!? THEY SHOULD BE PICKING KIDS THAT NEED TO GET PICKED!!!!!! WENHAN IS THE LEAST OF YOUR CONCERNS GOODNESS GRACIOUS ALSKDJLASKJDL

omg boyuan!!! they really like boyuan hahah but he deserves it too and zhuo yuan being so so happy for him is the sweetest ahhhh and junjie crying ahhh i love these 3 roommatesss

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS ZHAN YU!!!!!!! YESY YESYEYS YES!!!!!!!! YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?!??!? THAT MEANS WE HAVE A CHANCE TO SEE ALL 3 TYGERS ON THE SAME STAGE!!!!!!!!!! ALKSDJLAKSDJLAKSJDLJK YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS OMGOMOGMOMGG THANK YOU SO MUCH i was thinking “they really like zhan yu hahhaa they picked zhan yu last time, maybe theyll pick him again”---- THANK GOODNESS AHHHHHH ok but im kinda disappointed they literally didnt show lin mo’s reaction... only jia yi’s.... which i feel like is bc they enjoy playing off of jia yi’s emotions more.... which makes me feel (again) like theyre using the other tyger members as backdrop for jia yi, rather than respecting their friendship and group as a whole? like theyre all really amazing friends and people, theyre not just “jia yi and his friends”, if you get what i mean... but jia yi being so so happy i love!!!!! im so so so happy for them ahhhh yessssss you go zhan yu, you are amazing!!!!!!!!! get that recognition!!!!!!!

omg zhuo yuan being so happy for his friends is honestly the cutest. im sad that he didnt make it... yao chi and mingming being so happy i love!!!!!! good for yechen! his voice is honestly really nice and very unique!

frick i cant believe they didnt notice ye ziming.... and su yuhang.... they deserved better......... cheche crying ahhhh li you and kou cong deserved better too... ahhh seeing guan yue crying more than cheche or mingming crying more than kou cong, or ye ziming comforting others... its like the kids who are left are so sad for them, the kids who were actually eliminated.. this friendship is ahhhhh

man, i was just getting to know and like yaoyao and cui shaopeng too...

this is so sad for zhuo yuan and jiahao tho, like all the kids around them, physically and also in the ranking, went up, but not them.... i wonder if jiahao had been given screentime during his last stage, he wouldve gotten more votes... but bc of the hair thing, he got cut out of the ep even tho he was center......

man, fangzhou is the last core one member left........

oh my goodness.......... that ending................. oh my goodness.................. why does this have to happen to huo zhong.................... oh goodness thats gonna be such a drastic change from huo zhong to the super cute song...... i hate to say it, but i feel like none of them would want to go there LOL ahhhhh how will guan yue choose???? laskdjlaskjlk ok im hopeful that he at least wont choose zhan yu (because hes not cute LOL) but i really really hope lin mo can stay too oh gosh.......... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh guan yue....... (i know ding feijun is also there but im guessing guan yue is gonna be the main decision maker) but if hes smart he wont choose kids who will have trouble learning a whole new dance, which means.... he is likely to take more skilled trainees....... UGH IM SO WORRIED. but tbh i guess.... even if lin mo goes from super cool handsome center to a super cutesy backup dancer.... i guess... he’ll get to challenge himself and try a new style.......... which i guess... isnt terrible........ he’ll be cute, im sure.... so as long as he can still make it into top 20, i wont be terribly distraught. honestly i feel like im being rather reasonable as a lin mo stan, like I’m not asking for him to get as much screentime as like wenhan, just at least enough so that we can tell that he exists and was there (COUGHepisode7COUGH), and I’m not asking that he be center every time or that he get into top 9, i just want him to get recognition, respect, and into at least top 20. I think he can do it!!! hes working so so hard, despite being injured, and hes helping so many other kids..... i just wish his work can be acknowledged.

oof now thats its down to 2 votes a day... its time we see who people’s real biases are... im guessing theres gonna be some drastic changes in the rankings from here, bc the kids who are just well-liked by everyone but not actually “biased” will be dropped like crazy. i know who im gonna vote for, but im sad it means i wont be able to vote for some kids who i know will really need votes too..... but i believe you can kinda tell which kids are “bias” material and which are more just generally well-liked. that’s all im gonna say about it, but for everyone who’s voting, just choose wisely bc some kids will need your votes more than others, just saying....

lol guan yue’s psa to eat more fruit..... okay guan yue, okay hahahahhaha

wow i cant believe chen you and li you both got clips in the ending credits and also ye ziming even got 2 clips......... i swear they only started giving ye ziming screentime after it was too late??!!!? like they finally realized hes super funny and talented and #amazing and felt bad but ITS TOO LATE IQIYI laksjdlaklklk ill say it again ye ziming deserved better. on his weibo he says he’ll be coming out with new stuff soon tho!!! so im super excited and will def be keeping a lookout bc im sure itll be legit c:

#rants #WELL thats over with #still annoyed at how quickly they sped thru everyone but top 10... lol iqiyi can you pls try to hide your bias for once???#qcyn spoilers

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dovahgriin-archive · 6 years ago

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Strangers in this Town

Book Two: The High Priestess

Summary: In Which Aza has Two Mysterious Visitors

Character(s): Aza Vallen, Julian Devorak, Nadia Satrinava

Relationship(s): Aza & Julian Devorak, Aza & Nadia Satrinava

Warning(s): This is super long. Like,,,, super mega über long. Also, spoilers for Book 2, but I think you all are smart enough to figure that out on your own.

The knocking continues as Aza steps away from the back door, gradually becoming louder and more insistent. She’s more than half-tempted to just ignore whoever it is and go to sleep (it is rather late, after all). Aza shakes herself and pinches the fat of her cheeks.

“Enough,” she mutters to herself. “Deal with whoever this is, and then you can go to bed.”

Even as she moves towards the door, Aza’s eyes longingly find the stairs that lead up to the living quarters.

She reaches the door and presses her cheek against the well-sanded wood as she peers through the peephole. In the dim light of the street lanterns, a slender hooded figure stands before the door of the shop. Their hands twist anxiously before them. Even in the poor lighting of the street, Aza can see jewels glittering on their fingers and wrists.

Aza can’t see their face.

Please, please go away, she begs the stranger mentally. Naturally, her thoughts go unheard and the stranger reaches forward to knock on the door again.

Sighing reluctantly, Aza reaches up to unlatch the bronze lock. She opens the door.

“Forgive me for the hour, but…” The figure steps over the threshold, unwinding the heavily-embroidered shawl from around their neck as they go. “... I will not suffer another sleepless night. Please, you must read the cards for me.”

The elegant cloth slips away from the stranger’s face, revealing a bronzed aquiline profile and wide carmine eyes. At the sight of her, Aza’s heart leaps into her throat.

“It has to be you,” the Countess says. “It must be you.”

It takes Aza a moment to gather her words. “If it is a reading you seek, my lady, you’ve come to the right place.”

Nadia Satrinava raises one finely manicured brow. “So I’ve been told. Your reputation precedes you, magician.” She looks off to the side, eyes suddenly far away. “Beggars and nobles alike… the people of this city whisper your name in wonder.” The side of her mouth quirks up, “Though, in my dream, you were… different.”

Aza frowns. In her dream? This is the first I’ve heard of the Countess having prophetic dreams.

“No matter. I come with a proposal for you,” Countess Satrinava continues. Aza holds up a hand.

“Wait, you had a dream about me?”

“... Yes. It is an unwelcome ability I have come into possession of. My dreams are haunted by visions of a future waiting to unfold.”

She certainly looks haunted, Aza thinks to herself, for it is true — the Countess’s face is tired, and though her makeup hides it well, Aza can see the dark circles beneath the Countess’s wine-red eyes.

“But the future I saw, the one that brought me to you…” the Countess’s eyes narrow defiantly. “... it is one I will not allow to pass.”

Her gaze softens as she looks Aza fully in the eyes. “Tell me, magician,” she says softly. “Will you heat my proposal?”

Aza’s mouth is drier than the sands of the desert outside of Vesuvia’s borders. “P-Proposal?”

Countess Satrinava’s mouth curls in amusement. “Not very talkative, are you? Are you nervous, perhaps? You needn’t be, you know. I require very little of you.

“Be my guest at the palace for a short while. You will be afforded every luxury, of course. It is as my dreams foretold.” She pauses, considering her next words. “I ask only that you bring your skill as a magician… and the arcana.”

Aza blinks at the woman before her, her words echoing in her head. Dreams… foretold… the arcana… the Arcana… She knows that the realms of the Arcana are from where most magic is drawn, but not very many people that aren’t trained practitioners know that. Either Countess Satrinava was well-educated beyond that which is expected of a noblewoman, or… Aza’s thoughts trail off as she considers the woman before her.

To her credit, the Countess meets Aza’s gaze without wavering. “Well…?”

“I must admit, my lady,” Aza says slowly, “that I am at a loss. What is it that you need me for, exactly? I’m not in the habit of making promises that I don’t know if I can keep.”

The look that the Countess gives Aza is patient. “For now, I wish a reading. To… test the waters, if you will.”

Aza nods. “That is something that I can do. If you’ll follow me, my lady.”

She leads the Countess through the shop to the reading room, the entire while conscious of the noblewoman’s imperious gaze on her back. Aza is suddenly and painfully aware of how humble the furnishings of the shop are in comparison to the Countess’s fine attire, but the Countess doesn’t seem to notice the difference. Countess Satrinava settles herself on the cushion that is closest the the window and the moonlight illuminates her from behind, gilding her hair silver.

Though it feels slightly wrong, Aza sits in Asra’s usual spot because it is the one directly across from where the Countess sits. Remnants of Asra’s power linger here, brushing over Aza’s skin like the ghost of a touch. The Countess watches Aza closely as she lays the deck of cards on the polished surface of the table. She seems… apprehensive.

“Go on,” she says. Aza nods once, reaching over the table to shuffle the cards. As she does so, Countess Satrinava folds her hands before herself and closes her eyes. Aza fans the deck out and holds it close to the Countess.

“My lady?” At Aza’s prompting, the Countess opens her eyes a sliver. “I know this is not usual, but… I find that, sometimes, it is best to let the questioner pick the cards.”

Eyebrows raised, the Countess complies, sliding three cards out of the deck, keeping them facedown. She does not look at them. Aza thanks her quietly, and she responds with a smile as Aza arranges them in an inverted triangle. A wave of déjá vu washes over Aza. She swears that she can almost feel Asra’s presence behind her, his voice in her ear, whispers on encouraging words on the wind.

Asra isn’t there, though. Aza shakes her head minutely, brushing away the residual energy with her own aura. It will only distract her when she is meant to be concentrating on the Countess’s reading.

Countess Satrinava watches closely as Aza’s hands hover over the cards. Aza’s eyes are closed, and she frowns slightly, the skin between her brows wrinkling up. They sit there in silence for what seems like a lifetime. Finally, Aza’s hand descends on the card making up the tip of the triangle and she flips it face up.

The fox-like face of the Magician looks up at the two women through narrow purple eyes.

“... the Magician…” The Countess murmurs. Aza looks up at her sharply. Just how much does the Countess know of the Arcana?

“... Yes.”

“How very appropriate,” Nadia says, leaning back from the table, arms folded across her chest. The light from the candles dotting the room catches on a particularly large sapphire ring, sending flecks of light dancing over the Countess’s face. Her eyes are narrow, but she isn’t frowning. Aza isn’t sure what to make of her expression. “And what does he hold for me?”

Aza’s eyes flutter closed as the answer comes, quick and clear as the rivers in the forest: “You have a plan.”

The Countess’s gaze flicks from the cards to Aza’s face. “Go on…”

“One that is long in the making. Years upon years.” Aza opens her eyes and meets Countess Satrinava’s gaze. “Now, you seek to set it in motion.”

The Countess looks… mildly surprised. She leans forward, elbows on the edge of the table as her hands rest flat on top of it. Her eyes flash brilliantly in the candlelight. “And? Should I move?”

“Yes,” Aza intones. “The time to act is now. Everything has fallen into place.”

“Say no more.” Countess Satrinava abruptly stands, jostling the table as she does so. She casts another thoughtful glance at the card as she brushes past Aza on her way through the beaded curtains. Aza hurries after her into the shop proper.

The Countess turns to face Aza. Her expression has Aza’s heart racing in anxiety. “Your fortunes are simple, much the same as the others that I’ve heard. And yet…” she trails off, gaze distant. “And yet, you are the first to pique my interest.”

Aza isn’t sure how to respond.

Countess Satrinava begins to rewrap her shawl about her head and shoulders. The green-gold fabric shimmers in the low, warm light of the shop.

“Ahem.” The Countess looks pointedly between Aza and the front door of the shop. It takes a moment, but realization dawns on Aza, along with a vague sense of embarrassment. She trips over her feet in her hurry to the door. The Countess catches Aza by the arm, just before she hits the ground. She looks on, mildly amused, as Aza flushes and hurried to open the door for her. “Until tomorrow, then, magician. Pleasant dreams.”

With that said, she glides over the threshold and into the misty night. Still as a statue, Aza stands in the doorway. What on earth could the Countess want with me, she wonders to herself. Why me, out of all of the fortune tellers of the city?

Aza returns inside. All that talk about my ‘reputation’... She locks the door. Could it be that she mistook me for — ?

“Strange hours you keep,” an unfamiliar voice says. Aza shrieks and leaps to the side, banging her hip on the corner of the counter. She looks around the shop, eyes watering.

“Who’s there?” She summons a crackling ball of fire to one hand. Her eyes dart around the room, chasing dark shadows that seem to leap and dance with every move that she makes. “Show yourself!”

“Behind you,” the voice says, and she whirls around. Sure enough, there is a stranger standing behind the counter. She scrambles backwards, pressing herself against the smooth, worn wood of the door. They are tall and thin, but the white plague mask and black-and-red cloak that they wear makes them seem much larger. The stranger steps towards Aza, looming over her like some gangly giant. She grits her teeth and raises the hand that is holding fire.

“Stay back,” she threatens. Surprisingly, he — for the stranger is a man, Aza realizes with a jolt of fear — listens and stops.

“My sources tell me that this is the witch’s lair,” he drawls, folding his arms. Aza blinks.

“The… witch?”

“Yes, the witch. But you look nothing like I was told, so tell me: who might you be?” Aza’s heart picks up speed again as the strange man advances on her once again. He… doesn’t seem concerned about her flames, and that in itself is enough to have them sputtering out.

“W-Wh-Who’s asking?” Aza curses herself as her tongue stumbles over her words, and the slip-up of her stutter has her cheeks flushing a brilliant pink. The man pauses.

“I’m asking. I would rather not to have to do so again.” He sighs behind the mask, a muffled exhalation of air. “But… if it will make you talk…”

Aza flinches as the leather creaks and squeals when the strange man pulls the mask off of his face and tosses it from the floor. The first thing that she notices about him is his nose — it’s absolutely enormous. Her eyes are then drawn to the eyepatch over his right eye. He’s handsome enough, overall, she thinks mildly. A nice face.

But… something niggles at the back of her mind, a thought that she just can’t catch. He looks so familiar…?

“Well, I can tell by the look on your face,” the man smirks, “Shock. Horror. You know who I am, don’t you?”

Something clicks in Aza’s mind, and she is surprised to find that he is right — she does know him. This man… the townspeople used to call him — “Doctor Jules?”

The doctor looks surprised, brown eye widening slightly as his gloved hands fall to his sides. “Huh. Haven’t heard that name in years.” His expression morphs into a scowl. The leather of his gloves creaks as he clenches his fists. “Quickly, now. Where is the witch?”

Aza scoffs. She is now absolutely certain that this man is looking for Asra. “L-Look, I don’t know anything, a-and even if I did, I wouldn’t tell someone who barged into my h-home!”

The doctor’s mouth draws into a tight smile. “And here I thought we could keep things civil.” He folds his arms again. Doctor Jules towers over Aza, chilling the air around them. “Well… if you will not tell me where he is…” It’s like a switch is flipped on his personality, and suddenly the man smiles at her. “Won’t you at least tell my fortune?”

The change in his voice and face is enough to send Aza reeling, so to speak. She stares at the doctor, taking a moment to process his jump from threatening to asking for a reading. “I-I-I... Huh?”

“That is what the back room is for, yes?” Aza bristles at his condescending tone.

“Yes, it is,” she says between gritted teeth. Who does he think he is, coming in here like this…? “If you’ll follow me, sir.”

She leads the doctor through the beaded curtains and into the reading room. Arms crossed, Aza waits impatiently for Doctor Jules to sit down before doing so herself, foot tapping all the while. The doctor waits for Aza to sit before leaning his arms on the table, hands folded. “So, if I remember correctly, I must simply think of a question that I want an answer to and then you flip a card?”

“... That’s the barest bones description, but yes.” Aza grabs the deck from where she left it after following the Countess out of the room and shuffles it. Irritation makes her fingers sure and quick, and she doesn’t hesitate in dealing the cards out in the inverted triangle (again). Closing her eyes, she breathes in sharply, but lets it out slowly, trying to picture all of the excess negative energy leaving her body on that breath.

Calmer now, Aza reaches for the cards.

The doctor slaps his hands on top of hers, effectively pinning them to the table.

“Hey!” Aza pulls away — or, rather, she tries to. Doctor Jules has a grip on her like a viper and doesn’t let go no matter how hard she tugs.

“Now, answer me this, magician: where is the witch?”

“My master is gone.”

The doctor looks irritated. “Yes, I know that. Where has he gone?”

“I don’t know.” Aza’s mouth tightens imperceptibly as the man scoffs. “L-Let me go and I will read the cards for the answer you seek.”

“... Very well.” Doctor Jules releases Aza’s hands. She snatches then back, rubbing at her wrists as she channels a small healing charm through her fingers. Her skin glows a bright blue for a moment, then returns to its normal shade of peach. She’s pleased when the doctor looks guilty.

Aza’s eyes slide shut as she feels the energy of the cards laid out on the table — each is equally strong, which is… unusual. Eventually, the card making up the upper right corner of the inverted triangle proves to be the loudest. Aza’s fingers nimbly flip the card face up.

Her mind begins to race. No voice can be heard from the card, no sound at all aside from the pounding of blood in her ears. “... Death.”

“Death?” The doctor’s voice is incredulous. “Death?” His laughter is uncontrollable, as sharp and cold as ice. However, as soon as it starts, it stops. His brows pull downward, as do the corners of his lips. “You’ve got to be joking.”

Aza jumps in her seat as he abruptly stands, slapping the tabletop with open hands. “Death cast her gaze on this wretch and turned away. She has no interest in an abomination like me.”

He spins and leaves the reading room. Aza scrambles to her feet and follows close on his heels. She feels nothing but confusion, rather than the fear from earlier.

The doctor stops in his tracks, and Aza bumps into his back. He turns to peer down his nose at her. “You’ve been hospitable, so I’ll let you in on a little secret,” his voice drops to a whisper, even though he and Aza are the only two people in the shop. “Your witch friend will be back for you. He’s taught you all his little tricks. You may even say that he cares for you.

“But when he returns…” the doctor bends over at the waist to grab his beaky mask from the floor, staring into its red glass eyes. “Seek me out. For your own sake. That… creature… is far more dangerous than you know.”

Aza bristles. “My master isn’t dangerous!”

Doctor Jules shrugs. “So you say. Keep my warning in mind, though. I promise I won’t say ‘I told you so’ when things go wrong.” With an exaggerated wink, he slips the mask back onto his head, securing it with a leather strap beneath his reddish curls.

“The hour is late, and it seems that my time is up. Don’t let him fool you.” He opens the door and slips out into the early morning mists, letting the door slam shut behind himself. Aza stares hard at the door, like it is the door’s fault for the doctor’s melodramatic warning.

Shaking her head, Aza locks the front door of the shop and, one by one, puts out all the lit candles. She summons a bobbing orb of light once she is finished, and makes her way up the stairs to her closet of a bedroom. Aza strips down to her shift and practically falls into bed. She is asleep before her head hits the pillow.

#annika writes stuff #the arcana #fan apprentice #oc: aza vallen #julian devorak #nadia satrinava #julian x apprentice #nadia x apprentice #julian & apprentice #nadia & apprentice #julian devorak x mc #nadia satrinava x mc #book 2 spoilers

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tumblunni · 6 years ago

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I FED THE BIRDS TODAYYYYY

I got over my social anxiety enough to FEED BIRB FRIENDS

I always wanted to just grab as much bird food as i could carry and go to where the pigeons are in the street and then give it to all of them because i love them and im so sad for them. Pigeons are such pure lil dudes!! And theyre left to starve on the streets!! Ever since i learned pigeons are just a domesticated breed of the dove genus i felt super guilty for ever seeing them as pests. Like i know that wild rats can be dangerous but we shouldnt let that impact out judgment of pet rats who are very clean and fluffy and much more friendly and active than other rodents and also very smart and good. But pigeons are that AND ALSO the ones you see on the street are literally the same as the domestic ones, just feral. They were a "fad pet" a few centuries ago that got abandoned en masse when the novelty wore off, and thats SO FUCKIN SAD! feral pets are ultra depressing because the domestication means they lack the skills necessary to know wtf to do in the wild, and thats why street pigeons ended up relying entirely on scavenging human food and sleeping in human places and they cant go migrate away from humans or theyll die. And they also have SO MANY health problems from being originally bred into 'pedigree' breeds with exaggerated traits, and seriously the 'street pigeon' now is a mutt breed from ALL of those damn awful pedigrees mass interbreeding while starving on the street. So theyre a giant mess of health problems in a species thats super dependant on having access to human vetinary care and just AAAAGH ITS SO SAD! And i hate that the flow of time has buried this sin we did to them and now everyone acts like its just some wild species that indepedantly decided to exist and decided to be dependant on humans to not die GAAAH WHY IS EVERYTHIBG ABOUT BRITISH HISTORY A TOTAL NIGHTMARE

Anyway so thats why i wanted to start getting over my social anxiety and be able to feed the pigeons more often! And today i managed that once!!

I bought like alllll the sale bread in the shop and two bags of different seeds and even a bag of dried bugs! And also this thing called suet balls but apparantly neither pigeons or seagulls are interested in those and its more of a crows and robins thing? But meh, wasting a few quid was worth brightening up the lives of some hungry birbs!

Do pigeons coo when theyre happy? I sat there for a long time feeding them and more and more kept coming and then they started like a group cooing session and would come up so close to me that theyd eat seeds that fell on my shoe. I felt so blessed cos they were very skittish when i first got there! And there were definately more of them coming, i kept seeing new patterns in the ones that appeared. Sometimes it seemed like one would fly off and come back with another one? I wouldnt be surprised if theyre smart enough to call their friends to join the buffet! I was glad becaude i was worried there wouldnt be enough pigeons to eat all this food and i didnt want them to get sick eating too much. Like they say be careful feedibg stray cats and stuff cos they will literally not stop eating when theyre full, theyre so used to starvation that theyre like 'i dont know when ill get my next meal id rather feel sick than starve'. God seriously why do humans so callously abandon creatures that depend on them?

The pigeons seemed to like the sunflower seeds the best! And oddly i seemed to notice they had a 'gotta eat them in the right order' kind of thing? Initially when i put down the dried worms they didnt go for them and they just seemed to go for bread and seeds. But when they finished the seeds they switched to only the bugs even though there was lots of bread left and they'd seemed interested in that before. And then after the bugs they finished off the bread. I guess animals have a more finely honed instinct for telling what nutrients are in something? It seemed like they were going 'okay lets have a small nibble of this starchy luxury, then nom all the most nutritious things, then the protein. And if there's any luxury left then maybe we'll chow down for dessert!' Itwas just so cute they really seemed to have a three course meal structure to it?? It wasnt just cos the worms were out of their vision or anything, the whole flock just followed each other between the piles of things and nommed in order.

Also there were some jerkass seagulls! Seagulls, no! I know you guys arent dependant on scavenged food, you can take care of yourselves perfectly well so be nice to the smaller birds! I ended up throwing chunks of baguette in wide baseball arcs to lure them away from the crowd, cos they wouldnt even just eat together but kept flapping to scare the pigeons away too. I mean thats very smart and tricky but its also mean, yo. Be more responsible as the king of british pest birbs!

And OH MAN it made me so sad to look at the pigeons and see so many interesting patterns that must have once been bred as pets. There was one that was almost perfectly white with some chocolate coloured spots and pink beak and eyes! And i kept seeing ones that were hurt or sick or disabled and it sucked to know i couldnt do anything to help them. There was one that flew a little sideways, one that seemed to have a broken leg, lots of uneven amounts of toes, one with one wing bigger than the other, one with bloody stains on its feathers, one with a tumourously overgrown nose wattle...god, you poor things...

I just really hope i gave them a happy few hours of today. I hope maybe they'll have a slightly higher chance of surviving now. And i hope i can feed them again next time i walk past!

Maybe not buy the dried bugs again tho cos that didnt help with the social anxiety. It feels extra embarassing to be feeding something weird to birds even if its more healthy. And i felt like i had to stay there until they finished it all cos itd be embarassing to leave a bunch of bugs on the floor. But i hope the pigeons liked those bugs!!

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arataneo-a · 6 years ago

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not to be emo but

ik i already said this but sp/iderverse gave me that overwhelming feeling of how badly i wanted to get into animation and how i had these huge dreams of making movies that were new and original and make ppl feel all amazing inside. i wanted to animate a scene just like when m/iles fell from the building and he just ran thru the city and have just that sense of freedom thru movies.

it’s not like i was denied becoming something like that but it was really discouraged? ppl would be like “ok nice but arent u smart can’t you do smth else?” or talk about how moviemaking isnt as popular where i live like it is in america and THATS what set off my dream of studying there.

since i was a fuckin kid i would buy animation books and behind the scenes books and just gawk at all of that bc i wanted to do that so badly but i decided on another more accepted job but still, the way i wanna do it is not what ppl think is conventional lol.

im not sure what im trying to say and it’s not like im gonna scrap all my work ive done to get to this point, bc i purposely gave myself enough skills to be able to do whatever the hell i want even if i decide to change my whole plan. but still i missed this feeling

#💬#anywayss #gotta get home now #and it wasn't for the 'i want to see my rep' reason #it was for that freedom feeling of adventure and shit

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viewmonster-deactivated20230122 · 2 years ago

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🌹✂️👑🔫🔧 pick who you want and go to town my friend. smile

(rubbing my hands together evilly) you SHOULDNT have

ok im gonna do a under the cut thing so it doesnt get super long... oc emoji asks are here just so the link is above the cut LOL. ill be randomly generating an oc for each of these ^_^

🌹 ROSE - do they like valentines day? have they been confessed to before? have they confessed to anyone before?

for this one i got kazim! so lets talk about him. i think he would like valentines day because he considers himself something of a romantic... ever since he picked up guitar he's probably fantasized about serenading someone beautifully on valentine's because he is that kind of guy LOL. despite this though i think he has been confessed to before but hes rejected a lot of people because he is very dead set on finding ~The One~... but perhaps maybe one day he will confess to benji instead of being a bit of an idiot about it........

also obligatory valentinos day joke. lol

✂️ SCISSORS - what is the "last straw" for them to cut someone out of their life? how easily do they let go of people?

for this one iiits sun! hmm. i think for sun he's the type of person who tries really really hard to see the good in everybody. it'd probably take someone a reeally long time for them to reach the point at which he'd cut them out of his life completely. this isnt to say that he is against the idea of cutting people out-- he just very rarely does it or wants to do it... i think the final straw would be a sort of "straw that broke the camels back" situation, where hes finally had enough of trying to see the good in somebody, or he'd be urged by someone close to him to cut someone else out as it's probably the best course of action. as a result he's not very good at letting go of people easily. he sees all of his relationships as really important no matter how inconsequential, and he looks back on even the worst of people fondly.

👑 CROWN - what does your oc want to be remembered as? why?

for this one weve got mariam... hm. i think she's unsure as to what she does want to be remembered as, but she knows well that she doesn't want to just be remembered as simply a smart person. for a lot of her life people (especially her family) have rarely looked into her other qualities that arent her intelligence, and despite her being passionate about things that would be considered "smart" she resents purely being represented as someone whos just that and nothing else. i'd say she wants to be remembered more as a caring and passionate person than anything else.

🔫 PISTOL - do they trust people easily? how easily will they turn their back to someone? have they been backstabbed before? will they betray someone if given an ultimatum?

for this question we have valentino! ohoho. valentino is not someone who trusts easily in the slightest. he keeps his guard way up around new people-- being in a business like his its only natural i suppose. anastagio and the rest of la banda di fiori are really the only people who have fully earned his trust, and thats taken a very long time for them. i think its easier for him to betray somebody than it is for him to make friends quite frankly-- the only person hes sure he wouldnt ever betray the trust of is anastagio i think. he is... not a very easily trusting person to put it lightly LOL

🔧 WRENCH - are they good at fixing relationships? or do they tend to avoid doing so?

and last but not least we have connie! i think connie is not someone who notices very much if there is something that needs fixing in a relationship.... which she is trying to get better at because she knows communication is important. in the past, though, she was punished and outright ignored by her parents when she tried to bring up how she wanted to have a better connection with them, which left her unable to develop such skills very well. she obliviously let lots of things slide and has trouble being assertive in the past, but nowadays she works to fix things when they go wrong.

thank you for the ask! enjoy your fucking essay FJKHDGJF

#answered #callistoprime #astigmatismposting

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choisgirls · 7 years ago

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hihi! would it be out of the question to ask for a smart but silly mc? like an mc that people think is dumb because they like to show more than their intelligence? i've been struggling with finding a balance between the two so people will think i'm smart as well as funny. someday i will be both in the eyes of many but for now one of your lovely imagines/headcanons would make me very happy. i really love your blog! keep up the great work and i hope you have an amazing day!!!

A/N: Aaa thank youlove ;u; im really glad you like the writing!!! sorry i end up talking so muchbecause im trash™ but still!! it means a lot~(also i struggle with this alot? Just be whatever you’d like to be love! doesnt matter what others think~ ithink you’re amazing~ ^^)

like there reallyshouldnt be a need to hide your intelligence level, sweetheart. Being smartisn’t something to be ashamed of ^^ and if people cant handle it then well fuckthem they arent worth your time

Masterlist~

*YOOSUNG:

-Honestly you werepretty goofy, but he loved it!

-Always wants someoneto joke and play games with

-But one day he wasstressing over this big test he had and he just… couldn’t… understand themath problem??

-You walked in to himbanging his head against the coffee table- you had to throw your handunderneath him so he couldn’t do it anymore. He was gonna knock himself out ifhe kept doing that!

-When you asked himwhat’s wrong, he’s starting to slowly get harder and harder to understandbecause he’s about to cry- but you’ve got to calm him down and wait until hecan tell you clearly

-You sit him down andlook over the problem. Internally, he’s panicking because? Oh no? He can’tunderstand it, would looking at it upset you?

-When you wrote thesteps and answer down, he looked at the paper and had to blink a few times. Youdid it! You did it correctly, too…. how?

-Didn’t want to berude because you were amazing and smart in your own way! But? You just…answered this seamlessly, how?

-You explained to himthat you’ve actually got a pretty good grip on your math skills- you tend to bethe highest in any of your math classes and you’re always willing to help himfigure it out

-You could easily havea degree in mathematics and he can never look at you the same way again. His carefree,sometimes oblivious s/o is also really smart. How did he not see it before?!

*ZEN:

-He’s smart but to adegree- definitely wouldn’t tell you with confidence that he was book smart

-Knows more streetknowledge, but he can hold his own in the schooling department

-Who is he kidding, hehas a dinosaur for a computer.

-So even if you werealoof, it wouldn’t bother him in the slightest~

-But one day, in thechatroom, Jaehee and Jumin had started to talk about business and profits

-Behind the screen, theboth of you were sitting together as he started to complain to you that he hadno idea what they were saying

-So you took time toexplain it all while he stares at you in disbelief

-When you start to getself-conscious of the fact he’s staring at you and saying nothing, he tries toassure you that it’s not a bad thing, he just didn’t know that side of you!

-Honestly I don’tthink it would change the way he thinks about you, he’s fine with both sides ofyou!

-If anything, he’shappy he has someone to explain a few things he may not get at first

*JAEHEE:

-She likes the sillyside of you because she’s always so serious

-Or she at least justappears that way to people, in reality she’s silly just like you are

-Just…. more privateabout it than you are! You’re more open about being carefree and silly~

-Sometimes you remindher of Saeyoung which is okay but sometimes it gets out of hand and she worriesabout you

-Like… you can holdyour own, right? You aren’t… always oblivious, are you? Please tell heryou’re aware of your surroundings, at least

-She’s watched youwalk away from lunch and have to run right back because you forgot your walletthere. She’s counted- it’s been 13 times now

-But apparently you’rejust.. forgetful?

-Because she’s watchedyou spit out fraction conversions when the two of you are baking together

-You can mess around,get flour all over you, and turn red and giggle while she dusts off yourcheeks, but the second she asks you to double the amount of brown sugar, you’reimmediately throwing out the numbers

-Sometimes she throwsconversions at you when you’re being extremely goofy and she just wants to makesure you’ve still got it

-She likes both sidesof you, she doesn’t see why you tend to hide one but she won’t pressure you toshow one more than the other

*JUMIN:

-Constantly remindingyou to calm down

-There are times thatyou need to be serious and you just aren’t

-It doesn’t bother himor anything but sometimes he’s tired of hearing others get so worked up aboutit

-Because it’s none oftheir business? He loves how carefree and fun you can be

-It’s a nice change ofpace compared to how he’s basically a piece of stale bread most of the time

-He lets himself getsilly around you, though, because you’ve unlocked that privilege~

-When someone came upand had told him that you were practically as dense as concrete, he stood upand was ready to defend you in a heartbeat

-Except you just satback, looked them in the eyes, and with a vast vocabulary of high end and*ahem* choice words, you told them it was none of their business how youdecided to act and maybe they should take a breath and calm down themselves

-Which left both themand Jumin in shock, because you brought up their numbers and stock dropswithout even blinking an eye in their direction

-So you /could/ beserious when you wanted! That was good to know, maybe he should try to provokeyou every now and again, see how serious you really could be?

*SAEYOUNG:

-Everyone thought hewas silly??? They didn’t know the /both/ of you

-Though everyone alsoknew how smart he was, you, on the other hand….

-He knew yourbackground and he knew what you’ve accomplished with your intelligence

-So he knew how smartyou could be, and he wasn’t positive why you decided to hide it

-One day, he’s tellingeveryone about this new program he was adding to the app, but was too excitedto explain it in words everyone could understand

-Taking the liberty totranslate, you not only explained it in simpler terms, you also kept spittingwords no one could understand while you asked for more details from Saeyoung

-And in all honesty,sometimes he has you type up some of his coding so he can take a break and eatmore chips

-When you /told/ himto rest but you know how he works, so he just sits and watches you

-Is always in awebecause you really don’t come off in this light- you just like to have fun andmess around

-But you know what hasto happen now right? Always place bets and play trivia games against everyoneelse, that’s what

*JIHYUN:

-Yes, dear god, becarefree with him

-That’s one of hisfavourite personality traits- being silly and just running through life

-Doesn’t even care ifyou seem naive, he’s sure you’re smart in your own way

-Like maybe in a deep,philosophical way! He can dig it

-Honestly, he isn’tone to judge someone based off of intelligence so you could have the IQ of agoldfish but if you’re rich in personality and love then he’s completelysmitten

-On the other end ofthe rainbow, he’d be completely okay with it if you were smarter than him,again just…. doesn’t mind

-So if you’re thissilly and carefree and are /also/ super smart then just /WOW/ he doesn’t knowhow to really react

-He just wants you tofeel comfortable enough to be yourself, not to hide a whole half of yourself

-If you’re smart thenbe smart! If you’re goofy, be goofy! You’re both? Sweet! Show it! There’s noshame!

-He has questionsabout anything? Immediately asking you so you know that he cares about everyaspect of you, not just one

*SAERAN:

-God just fucking stop

-Honestly he canhandle a little bit

-But if you’re to theextreme of his brother he can’t always handle you and just wants you to hush

-Also really concernedfor you though? Like you aren’t aware of yourself or your surrounding a lot

-I mean come on hetalked you into going into someone’s apartment, you were not the most cautiousperson

-Not to mention youthought it would be a good idea to, oh I don’t know, go poking around in thebusiness of a cult

-Really he thought youwere an idiot but he still for some reason loved you so here you two are now

-Though the first timehe fell asleep at the computer around you and woke up to his code finished, hewas surprised

-Then he was…amixture of angry and surprised because why didn’t he know about your secretintelligence and why didn’t you tell him

-He could’ve used youas an assistant ages ago while he was in Mint Eye if he had known! But nnoooyou had to go and hide it

-Encourages you to letyour intelligence show more often because there isn’t a need to hide it in thefirst place, it doesn’t change who you are inside

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littlebabycrybtch · 4 years ago

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ok ik bitches are still going to complain but i gotta rant to keep my shit together;;; ngl after being stuck co-raising two babies now i really feel genuinely Disgusted by unnecessary parent critique. like it actually makes me feel so viscerally upset and depressed when i remember nobody gets this or cares to and probably just wants to call out what im doing wrong, instead of lend me a hand to do it better. man im not treading lightly here the ‘no excuses’ mentality is literally Inhumane to parents and dehumanizes them as these superhumans, they arent, they are people trying to take care of themselves Plus One. there Are ‘excuses’ for not being perfect. just bc every child deserves perfect doesnt mean it can be given and that fucking SUCKS but that is one of the only times im comfortable saying; ‘thats just life’. you cant magically make life better for kids the way you think, you’re not a protector, you’re their Rock to teach them How to DEAL with what life brings, that means you’re allowed to struggle with it too. childcare is like this cosmic design to work you physically and mentally to the brink, fucking forget the normalization of how many people you think you’ve seen raise kids and done fine, it is harder than you can even fathom. they probably did not do fine behind closed doors. the parents with the best behaved and most obedient kids probably did harmful things to make them that way that will eventually come back to them, the parents with the happiest most well adjusted kids probably had the money to provide the extra care for that. there are ‘excuses’. idc if it fucking annoys you or w/e, i dont like being the bitch that says stuff nobody wants to hear, but you truly deeply cannot 100% understand unless you are raising kids, i dont say that to hurt your feewings or exclude you, i used to think that way, i say it bc when you see me passed out on the couch while my nephew gets into something dangerous, its because i got one hour of sleep that night while he kicked me in our bed for 4 hours. he cant help not knowing how that affects both of us, but i cant help being affected by it just cuz im supposed to be ~the big strong adult~, bc i am not a fucking xman. i CANT pretend it all away. while im sitting there napping im also waiting for my mental health meds to start working. im also dizzy from not eating. it sucks that he gets into shit sometimes. hes still gonna get into shit sometimes, and i can do my best, but if i sit here worrying that karens are gonna get pissed abt that and work myself even harder im gonna straight up explode. who does that help. who does me falling apart help. come babysit my kid for free if you wanna help me bitch!

parents are doing twice the work of a normal person while also teaching one of these people theyre caring for, how to BE a person. i used to be SO pro judging parents and im literally nauseated by the judgments now. “i cant believe this parent looked away and their kid got hurt, i cant beleive they just leave them there with a tablet or a snack or a toy while they nap, i cant believe they let them do that, i cant believe--” btich you literally have no idea how lucky you are that they are not both already dead. you are so lucky tehy are both alive and the parent isnt hospitalized for mental health or even physical exhaustion, or addicted to a stimulant (which includes caffeine), or using smth to relax like weed or alcohol (hello wine mom culture), or the kid isnt traumatized from watching their parent have repeatd breakdowns. that is literally better than most situations already. no matter how impossibly perfect the family could be in your mind, kids fuckin get hurt and they make mistakes and the PARENTS make mistakes bc theyre PEOPLE and yall this blows my mind that ppl dont realize this but,,,,, Little kids??? THEY DO NOT LISTEN TO THEIR PARENTS bc they essentially CANT..... for like YEARS there is a period they WILL NOT LISTEN TO YOU at ALL while they have the full autonomy and smarts and strength to cause horrible consequential problems, they are capable of learning how to circumnavigate your ‘babyproofing’ in new ways every single day, but they have ZEROOOOO MORALS OR CAUSE AND EFFECT SKILLS to understand RIGHT FROM WRONG, NO MATTER HOW OFTEN YOU TELL THEM!!!!! IT WONT CHANGE, ITS LITERALLY A PHYSICAL BRAIN THING THAT THEY CANT LEARN WHAT ‘NO’ MEANS FOR A WHILE YET!!! THIS CAN LAST FROM AGE 1 TO 4, SOMETIMES LONGER! THATS GENUINELY INSANITY INDUCING FOR THE ADULT WHOS KEEPING THEM IN LINE HUNDREDS OF TIMES A DAY, KNOWING ITS AMOUNTING TO ALMOST NOTHING UNTIL YEARS LATER!!!! IT DOESNT HELP WHEN PPL JUDGE YOU AND DONT BELEIVE YOU AND THINK YOU JUST ARENT ~TRYING HARD ENOUGH~! holy FUCK dude, idc if you wanna judge, im losing it bc i am being forced to keep my cool while a child whos pinching me and genuinely HURTING and BRUISING me laughs in my face bc he truly DOES NOT KNOW this, and there is NO WAY for me to convey it to make him stop at the moment!!!! thats maddening!!!

listen to me, neither of you dying or experiencing lasting damage is literally the goal every day, not just ‘raising them’, but that you both survive to the end of it. im appalled by how different the lifestyle is and the way ppl just... dont know that/REJECT that information so they get to judge. ofc tiny vulnerable innocent kids deserve the best, parents cannot always provide that if they want to Survive, bc they also deserve , basic understanding and humanity. you call out abuse all you want, theres a difference between the 'lesser of two evils’ choices, or even the genuinely Bad choices you can Accidentally make when at your wits end (which you should immediately correct anyways), and ever causing intentional physical or mental harm to the child, but the secodn yall start nitpicking or blatantly being ignorant to a struggle just so you get your blame validation in i literally cannot AFFORD to give you the time of day, im busy running on minutes of sleep, so if you think i have enough free time to entertain ur whining that my kids got a messy face and has been on his tablet in a highchair for an hour or w/e, idc, im using that time to shower for the first time in 2 weeks bc nobody else is gonna be there for me to let me do that shit :) so frankly put your money where your mouth is and help struggling parents whenever you can. i cant make shit better out of thin air.

“oh, but i dont have the money to help you.” YOU THINK IM AFFORDING CHILDCARE?? YOU CAN COME OVER AND HELP DIRECTLY WHILE I DO CHORES. “oh, but i dont wanna babysit for my friends, i dont like kids.” OH REALLY?????? OH YOU DONT LIKE KIDS??? BC THEYRE DIFFICULT MAYBE ??? SO MAYBE YOU SHOULDNT JUDGE WHEN ITS HARD THEN????? LIKE YOU RLY THINK JUST ‘LIKING THEM’ SUDDENLY MAKES IT EASY FOR ME?? YOU THINK ME FINDING MY NEPHEW CUTE AND LOVING HIM AND HIS LAUGHTER GIVES ME FUCKING SUPERMAN POWERS TO DEAL WITH THIS???????? “but You chose to have kids” rt in my case i literally didnt and would be homeless if not offering to help care for them but HEY COOL CONCEPT PRO CHOICE KINDA FUCKIN INCLUDES WHEN PEOPLE ‘CHOOSE’ TO HAVE KIDS EVEN WHEN THEY STRUGGLE AFTER, TOO LATE TO FUCKIN COMPLAIN NOW, JUST HELP A BITCH OUT. LIke... bro BRO b R O im losing it stop giving parents the inspiration porn treatment while disrespecting the actual struggles they go thru any time the child actually suffers bc they are unable to shield them from their struggle. can i be real, life literally will not go without struggle. you cannot raise them to have a life better than what the world is, you can do your best but you really cant MAKE it fair. once again this is not a ‘raise the perfect child’ contest you are just . trying to raise them at all. its messy. every single day you will have successes and failures, and you’ll be running on empty, and you’ll be doing that just to make it through to do it again tomorrow, while it slowly (AGONIZINGLY SLOWLY) gets easier each day. im tired of pretending lmao i dont wanna hear you bitches judge parents anymore, i dont wanna hear the stupid ass ‘im allowed to’ shit anymore dude!!!!! for gods sake i can agree with you when some shits just plain wrong but ill never apologize for standing up for myself or other struggling parents even if it makes you uncomfy, i can care about Both the child and the parent at the same time, ig i wont ask you why you seemingly cant. 😶 ESPECIALLY when things like classism and ableism tie in so often with these situations. not to mention racism like im white but hoooo if i hear one more story about a black parents ‘negligence’ in efforts of just trying to help their family, like leaving their kids somewhere during a job interview or w/e, vs the white parents that LET THEIR 10 YR OLDS WANDER AROUND MALLS BY THEMSELVES... im gonna scream. im gonna fuckin scream. its so unfair. fuck off, stop the spiteful ignorance, change this shitty hateful culture.

tldr; you Can care about kids while respecting parents, even when they arent perfect. you can advocate for children while also advocating for parents, and in fact, you should fucking try.

#vent/ //#might delete later ///#ok to rb but. i swear to god if this pops off and ppl whine...... literally L I T ER A LL Y come take care of my kids #NO BETTER YET BC ITS ACTUALLY FEASIBLE!! FOR EVERY COMPLAINT. 5 DOLLARS IN MY PAYPAL #SO I CAN AFFORD DAYCARE. LITERALLY IF OYU CLAIM ANY STUPID SHIT BC I ADMIT ITS HARD TO CARE FOR SMALL KIDS #U HAVE NO EXCUSE TO NOT PUT THAT FAKE BITCHY JUDGY CONCERN INTO ACTUAL RESULTS. THANKX #anyways on a real note again this is a vent moreso than a disc horse post thats meant to be shared around so #its not perfect its just. my feelings over the past couple years dealing w this man #really fuckin tired of it i really spent so many years 100% on the side of 'i have critical understanding i get to judge'#no i didnt. no you dont. its not comprehensible till you're pushed to your own limit with childcare. i hate being that btich #cuz nobody wants to hear it. but its the truth swallow it #long post //

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