#im not saying dont kill bugs . well i kind of am but thats not the point of this post . what im saying is if you want to kill bugs idc but
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i think its messed that u can tell someone u rlly like bugs and that u dont like them being killed and then they will go out of their way to tell you a story about them killing a bug
#nobody here#unless this is something you do in which case . dont#protip ! if someone doesnt like when something is killed you dont have to tell them when its killed !#im not saying dont kill bugs . well i kind of am but thats not the point of this post . what im saying is if you want to kill bugs idc but#PLEASE dont tell me about it ??#like i have an irl whos really scared of bugs and they dont like how long the freeing process can take . ok . im ok with them killing bugs#even in front of me . but if i didnt have to know dont tell me ! odds are i will not think it is funny !#im so sorry for the rant aughh#bugs tw#ask to tag#babbleeng#shouldve stayed in the drafts probably
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genuinely interested in what taylors reading here, assuming it isnt required reading for school since the prt seems to have regulations on and about juvenile capes
i wonder if its twilight?
self care!!! (she would not give herself this kind of time off if she werent in prison)
taylors back to her favourite pastime again!
the logistics around this would be very funny to figure out, though i pity the sap that has to change the bug-ket when it gets full
that explains how quickly they got it, i had assumed dragon was just being creepy and had pre-made the hero!skitter costume in the hopes it came up.
this way is probably better
...
yeah, nah that's not gonna work. "mistakes" is doing a bit too much heavy lifting on your part armsdealer
he is staying as STILL as POSSIBLE (goofy guy behaviour)
so were currently 2 for 2 on PRT non-cape fuckheads, lets see how he holds up! (either way i somehow doubt he is long for this world)
Mrs Yamada. I like where you're coming from but therapy + 10 judgemental onlookers might not be the best call.
aw fuck hes getting downright endearing
REAL (clockblocker has shot up to S tier)
WORLDS SLIMIEST MAN (its nice that hes on taylors side but like wow this guy is shit)
GIRL!! NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR SPOT CHECKING!!
she does not give up on her hobbies gd
dont worry, all im doing is setting up a large scale surveillance state, perfectly ethically and legally sound.
okay ignore any bad ting i may have ever expected to say about glenn.
THIS MAN GETS IT
YES!!!
WERE GETTING DOWN THE PRESENTATION!!!!
the dissonance is too powerful for him, he's seen taylor at some of her most nightmariest highs and now she's going through the same public relations hoops he had to
i really wasnt trying to find him this charming, i really wasnt
taylor drops ONE (1) bugfact and suddenly shes getting called a nerd. maybe the endbringers are right, we really should kill them all
d-doesn't he go to classes on exacty this?
what am i saying, he wouldnt pay attention in school
yes actually, 'disturbing' does suit your swarm of insects quite well as an adjective
i get that we're supposed to be a little annoyed at the constant micromanaging but i expected theyd do at least this much, im surprised she didnt get some media training beforehand, theyre being pretty hands off, all things considered.
maybe thats because they want her to fail though :(
eyyyy! thats... deeply disturbing as a heroes one-liner actually. maybe take some more time workshopping that
oh that's nice, her bugs worked to break concentration, this is a fight against dnd wizards
LETS GET ELDRITCH BABEYYY
unbe-weaver-ble
i do love how hard theyre commited to the bit though
legitimately sick burn
had to be done, glenn wont be happy though
B)
“Taylor Hebert? On the issue with the bug population of my facility, I feel it would be a very bad idea to provide you with a caustic substance to give your bugs, given what your file says you achieved with capsaicin. I had a bug zapper purchased, and you should be able to access it with each and every one of your tiny soldiers. I expect to see it used, understand?”
(moving to copy paste bc tumblr says no more screenshots)
immensely funny solution
The spiders, I kept on hand, directing them to the burned corpses. They could breed, in time, and I could put them somewhere where they wouldn’t encounter any people. Breaking the rules, maybe, but it was something to occupy my thoughts. It made me feel just a little safer, a little more like myself.
its gonna be so funny when the wardens find the underground spider breeding ring
#liveblogging worm#Drone 23.1#worm chapters seem to be getting longer so i might be copying the text instead of screenshotting from now on
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exploded bird + lion secondary (badger model)
Good afternoon Wisteria! I was hoping for your input with my sorting. This MAY become a novel, and i apologize ahead of time for that. Hopefully its interesting, if nothing else.
I am having trouble with both my primary and secondary. Ive thought i had it figured out so many times and then i would reanalyze myself and get confused. So i guess ill start with primaries. I can tell you for sure that i am not a snake primary. I just cant love another person quite like that. I grew up in a very snake primary environment and never felt i really fit in. I really appreciate snakes and i understand them, but i dont think i am one. I also very much pride myself on my individuality and dont bond to groups so i believe that may rule out badger. I think ive narrowed it down to exploded bird or really confused lion.
Interesting. So far so good. Let’s hear what you’ve got.
Right now in life, with all the information coming at me, all the data, all of the twists and turns, media bias, conspiracy theories, rabbit holes and objective realities, i cant figure out the truth.
… sounds like an Exploded Bird to me.
I think all theories are worth investigating and rabbit holes are fun. But i hate hypocrisy. And its everywhere.
I mean, everyone hates hypocrisy… but I think Birds find it *unforgivable.*
I cant organize all of this information.
Exploded Bird.
Dude. Whats gonna happen if deep fake becomes the norm?
eh, Photoshop has been the norm for a long time and we do okay. Some fakes have always been better than others, and there have always been fakes.
I feel like the safest thing to do is to fully understand myself. Then i can analyze and understand the world.
I would agree with that.
I would say that hands down i was an exploded bird, but i feel very strongly about things right away. But then i learn about them more and if my feelings were wrong, ok. Whatever.
This is still Bird. It’s not that Birds can’t feel strongly about things right away. They do, they just don’t feel safe TRUSTING those feelings. Instead they do… exactly what you’re describing here. Learn more, and then if it turns out their initial feelings were wrong… that’s fine, actually. The feelings are of secondary importance.
BUT i also WANT black and white. I want right and wrong. Grey, though necessary and true, bugs me.
… there’s a reason why I call young Birds Black-and-White Birds.
Deep down i crave to just understand something as it is. But one persons truth is not anothers. I get that. But it still bothers me in my bones.
That’s a very Bird primary angst. Birds can have this *fantasy* that if only everyone had all the information and thought it though properly, that everyone would come to the same (correct) conclusion. And then have to grapple with the fallout when they realize things don’t work that way. As a Lion… I’ve never had to fight that particular monster.
I can also seem like i make snap decisions based on feelings to others, but i just know what i want. If something sounds good, i want to do it. At that moment. No hesitation… i think im meshing into secondary territory here
I agree. Improvisational secondary, sounds like.
so ill just go with it. So my bedroom walls are lilac purple and my kitchen is BRIGHT yellow, because those colors sounded interesting. At that moment. I tend to jump into a project having no idea what im doing. I just thought it sounded like fun.
Comfortable making decisions on a whim, just jumping in. Very improvisational.
But thats not really a way to problem solve. When i start said project and then run into a problem, usually ill read about it, or ask someone who knows more than me. The “i know a guy” bird kind of applies here. I know how to make connections within my community and i plan for that. I think about who would be useful to know, based on my goals.
You know, this could be Bird. But I’m kind of skewing more Badger because of the emphasis on community and asking for help. And keeping an eye on ‘who is powerful, who is useful to know’ is a pretty common Badger secondary model manifestation.
But i dont think i build tools like a bird. In fact, binge watching videos on how to do something annoys me. Takes all the fun out of it.
I still think you’re an Improvisational secondary - and a Badger secondary model is *more* likely than a Bird secondary model.
I am always honest with people and i like that about me, but its not out of some need to stay true to myself. Its just because i have learned that honesty works the best most of the time.
So not Lion *primary* then. This is all about method. You don’t lie, because you don’t find it to be a very practical problem-solving method. Being very direct does work, so at this point… Lion is more likely than snake.
Now, dont get me wrong, i am an excellent liar. But only if its on the fly.
Hmm. Maybe a Snake who’s in neutral all the time?
This conflicts big time with my primary, however, so i rarely ever do.
Interesting. Lying conflicts with your (hypocrisy hating) Bird primary, so you don’t do it. Instead you are very direct, and that works well for you. You *can* lie (on the fly) but you generally don’t. Neutral Snake? Snake secondary model? Depending on how you define lying, could even be Courtier Badger. (I am ruling out constructed Actor Bird.)
I feel like ive gone all over the place in a highly disorganized way, so i will state that now i am going to give some anecdotal data. One time, as an adult, i was hanging out with a bunch of kids on a hayride. A little boy killed a butterfly. I was outraged. I called him out. I told him that he just took away the only life that creature would ever have and that was cruel.
Very loud Idealist primary.
This somehow turned into a question and answer school session about human biology, mammals and why on earth is water in a cup clear, but when you dive into the ocean, its blue?
Some kind of social secondary… and I know the obvious thing is to say 'trotting out a lot of facts, that’s bird.’ But I’m seeing you defuse a situation by leveraging your immediate community (Q&A session)? Badger.
I like being the person that gets the scary bugs out of the house because i feel brave when i do.
Sounds pretty Lion secondary.
When in an emergency situation i completely disconnect and become a calm, knowledgeable person.
This is actually a pretty common just, human thing. When things get bad enough, your lizard brain takes over, and everything is very calm and dreamlike.
I suddenly magically know what needs to be done and work with my environment.
Improvisational secondary.
Im also very aware of how everyone else is doing in that situation and i have an innate need to make people feel better so im usually the first to lighten the mood. Ill focus on others before myself if im hurt. Im more aware of how they are doing than how i am doing and i will make an effort to help them first.
Ah yes, the 'tend and befriend’ threat response. Very familiar. And yeah, going from this description I’m going to say very social badger.
In video games… skyrim is best here i think. I want to be a sneaky mage thief. But when something attacks me, without thinking i run right up to it and hit it with my fists without armor.
lol lion. (The classic Badger secondary strategy is BUFF ARMOR. I always play tanks.)
But i get really sad if its an animal.Those wolf whimpers get to me every time.
No one likes the wolf whimpers.
Ok. Ok. Ive rambled enough. Thank you for reading! Any input is greatly appreciated! Thank you!
Exploded Bird, easy. And probably a Lion secondary with a very social Badger secondary model that’s working well for you.
#sortinghatchats#bird lion#birdpri#lionsec#badger secondary model#courtier badger#sortme#wisteria sorts#exploded bird
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hiiiii after reading your epic flippy words ;___;, i’m curious if you can do fliqpy as well....... i’m gay leave me alone
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL this one probly wont be as good
favorite thing about them
i REALLY like his design honestly. giving him crooked teeth to make him look evil was not a good choice but the sharp teeth and yellow eyes and even when he looked liek flippy? it was cool. Some of his kills are really well executed, and i like the use of the environment! inserting fliqpy into a situation and seeing what he does is honestly a good use of his character type. i like his tiny knife, and some of the transitions b/w flippy and fliqpy are SOOOO GOOD like both in by the seat of your pants. it’s like fliqpy unleashes something within the writers and storyboard artists and animators. i also like how he protect flippy and is a cannibal :)
least favorite thing about them
THE ABLEISM AND USE OF DID AS A SCARY THING UGH!!! UGH!!!! FUCK!!!! honestly itd be so much better if they subverted that trope and fliqpy DIDNT kill. at least thatd be something
favorite line
HIS WARBLING EVIL SCREAMS THEYRE SO FUCKING FUNNY
brOTP
ok fliqpy also being friends w flaky is so funny to me. flakys like hey flippy how are you and fliqpy is like Whos flippy im junko fucking enoshima and flakys like oh hi fliqpy. also i want them to be friends instead of flaky being afraid of him liek in canon. anyway i think he should also be pals w russell because russell is sharp and a defensive little creature. idk how this friendship dynamic would go i just thot of it because i wanted to think up another friend for fliqpy and this is so funny to me like fliqpy deliberately goes to russells boathouse to seek him out and hes like. RUSSELL. FISHING TIME and russells like yar? wtf?
OTP
idk am i allowed to say fliqpy/nutty just because i think nutty would see a fellow gamer and be like HELLO FELLOW GAMER!!!!!!!!! (Nutty voice defending fliqpy in court) Your honor, league of legends. (lumpy voice) DEATH. (fliqpy in the electric chair). also i forgot to mention that he and lumpy beign like divorcees is SOOOOO FUCKING FUNNY
nOTP
no fliqpy/flaky for the same reason i dont like flippy/flaky...ruined for me by fucked up fandom. fliqpy/flippy whats going ON ON (axel f crazy frog starts playing).
random headcanon
fliqpy expends so much energy freaking out and doesnt think about actually taking care of his body so hes like. unconscious or gaming perpetually for most of his fronting time. fucking gayboy. he tends to front under stress and stuff liek in the show but of course it takes more actual time for him to front. he legally changed flippys last name to roblox. he holds at least 3 speedrunning world records. his eyes change color when he shifts cos he has contacts. hes just kind of edgy and defensive and shit hes just trying to keep flippy safe but he looks ridiculous. He likes bugs a lot :D. hes still a fucking cannibal
unpopular opinion
i think hes rewritable to be smth better! ppl who recognize him as ableist tend to think hes utterly unsalvageable and i think its doable. If youre willing to. acknowledge canon while ignoring it like i do. I do both. also i think vietnam jokes abt him arent funny. just because theyre not
song i associate with them
boulevard of broken dreams just cos of this jerma bit (i would get a screenshot but the compilation (IT WAS ONE OF MY FAVORITES) was taken down on copyright & i dont want to go thru the whole 5 hour stream rn) where he starts up boulevard of broken dreams and goes OH!!! YEAH!!! THIS SONG IS ABOUT...ME!!!!! anyway 12 years howled bear ghost but thats for flippy as well. and only a lad cos of that one AWESOME fan art. yk the one.
favorite picture of them
this is just an example but i LOVE and ADORE how hes animated in the kapow. it’s fucking GORGEOUS and his APPEARANCE...WAR JOURNAL IS SOOOO GOOD
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Like a Kickass Guy | ASC
Louie gets high at Mei’s party and texts Nemo and Tae.
@justkeepdancing-nemo @moon-yeongtae
Louie: holy shit u guyyyyyy Louie: shit has been going dowwwwwwwwn. Or upside down? down and up really lol Louie: i may not have muscles n shit but guess WHAT I DID Tae: hulked out and killed someone? Louie: woah man no! Duuuuuude have u seen me? impossible Louie: i'm too cute to go to jail yet Louie: i mean EVER Louie: im too cute to go to jail EVER Louie: did a keg stand lol. sorta Tae: whoa nice Tae: how you feelin? Louie: a m a z i n g Louie: you won't BELIEVE how good i am Louie: i felt like IRON - no. i felt like CAPTAIN AMERICA. LIKE A KICK ASS Louie: GUY Tae: nice dude i'm glad ur having fun Tae: is mark there Louie: he was here somewhere. he asked me to come Louie: dunno where he went. maybe he's with johnny idk Louie: but who cares lol Louie: i'm great Louie: no more sads Tae: wow you're really drunk huh? Louie: nooooooooooooo Louie: haha I was gonna drink Louie: but then this weird girl showed up Louie: and now i'm super
Tae: but you said you did a keg stand Tae: that's like drinking isnt it? Louie: is it? i thought it was just a hand stand on a keg lol Louie: who knows? not me Tae: i mean i guess Tae: what weird girl Louie: idk blond. weird. she wanted me to CHEAT ON MARK WTF Louie: i mean she seriously helped me out but also Louie: wtf Louie: weird. so weird. but we went to the bathroom and she Louie: gave me t his stuff n i'm like Louie: wow i mean i can't stop talking Louie: i think I've said some seriously stupid shit Tae: wait Tae: what? Louie: what? i didn't tell you anything stupid did I? Louie: i don't think i did. thank god. imaigngi f i told u that Louie: lololol i'd die forever Tae: louie what are you taking about what stuff Louie: stuff? which stuff Louie: im not tellig Tae: what did she give you Louie: ohhhhhhhhhhh Louie: oh i can tell u that haha Louie: she called it all kinds of weird stuff like snow white or whatever which is bizarre af but whatever Louie: i like sniffed it and it felt super whack Tae: LOUIE WHAT THE FUCK Louie: and then it was like Louie: wow Louie: idk man i wanted to not feel sad and i feel good now Tae: holy shit what the fuck i cannot believe Tae: louie that was so dumb Louie: you're so dumb! Louie: no that's not true Louie: you're my faovriedgof person ever Tae: where the fuck is nemo why isn't he here to tell you how stupid that was where are you Tae: you're at mei's right Louie: yeh i crashed lol Louie: well no mark and johnny wanted to crash Louie: and since mark's been cool and let me stay at his place i was like Louie: well i should probs go Tae: yeah well THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD'VE FUCKING DONE COKE OR WHATEVER YOU DID jesus fuck Nemo: wait wtf did i just read Tae: yeah Tae: i have to go fucking get him Louie: why are you maddddd? im not bugging anyone! i'm having fun! Nemo: wait whats going on! Nemo: louie are you okay? Louie: i'm FINE Louie: i'm super Nemo: he did cocaine? Louie: super human Tae: he's at mei's party and he fucking YES Louie: you could say Louie: ughhh stop making this so big Tae: do you know how many kids my brother had to see in the hospital bc of drugs louie? Nemo: yeah that stuffs really bad Nemo: its human chemicals Nemo: do you feel okay? are you dizzy? Louie: do you know what else is bad? life. being sad. freddie mercury leaving too soon. presidents. earthquakes Nemo: louie D: Louie: tthe hunger games Tae: hey louie seriously how are you feeling like Tae: in your body Louie: that's a weird thing 2 akks dud Louie: im fine! Tae: okay but like Tae: if u close ur eyes and like idk try to feel what's happening like is your heart beating really fast? do you feel like puking? do you feel like you're moving? Louie: oh i mean yeah lol Louie: my heart is skipping faster n when i Louie: wait i gotta shut up shut up Nemo: tae yah is that bad? Nemo: would jun hyung know? Tae: i'm asking him right nwo Louie: so fussy you guys are fussy im gooood Nemo: louie just keep texting u ok Louie: look how good i am Louie:
Nemo: very pretty Tae: yeah gorgeous how's your breathing Louie: wouldnt u like 2 kno Louie: how's your butt Louie: bet its still kicckable Tae: you have literally never kicked my ass at anything Tae: nemo does your appa know about this stuff? you probably shouldn't ask him huh? Louie: DON'T AOISFJPDOGN Nemo: its human drugs Nemo: so not really Louie: 4 THE LOV OF GOD Louie: that guy lredy probs haaaaaates me Nemo: his magic wouldnt work either i dont think Louie: im a toxin to freidn parnets Nemo: yeah if he ever finds out we woudl be banned from being in the same school i think he'd transfer me to that catholic place and appa hates catholicism Nemo: this is why you shouldnt do drugs louie :heart: dont yu wanna keep being my friend Louie: :cry: :cry: :cry: Louie: you're my best mate wgodidpsdggdfh Louie: you too tae Tae: wow rude Tae: oh okay Louie: wow Louie: dont be such a bitch tae Tae: well you started it when you did cocaine Louie: i used to think u were the coolest but maybe im demoting u n promoing Louie: nemo Louie: nemo ur the new hottie Tae: the what Louie: what? Tae: louie i'm coming to get you Louie: whyyyyy the partys still partying Louie: ppl be FITIN Louie: man ud fit right in with your muscle bod Louie: well cept one fitghts girls Tae: where are you in the house Louie: idk the dance place. the life space Louie: where everyone is? Nemo: is jun going too? Nemo: aghaldkfjaskldfj Tae: yeah Louie: wait wait wait wait wait Nemo: ugh im sorry i cant be there Louie: where u going Nemo: louie im so sorry just keep texting us Louie: no Louie: i should dkslefadkad Tae: hey louie what's your favorite queen song Louie: skedlolde Louie: what? ohhhhh wow tough choice man i mean Louie: there are soooo many good SONGS Louie: lately i've been listening 2 somebody to love a lot cause i been dfpsogdpsjsd Louie: buuuuuut Tae: i like don't stop me now Louie: that's my OTHER FAVORITE Louie: man u vibe so well with me i hate it Louie: ha ha ha Louie: j k this is why we're bffs Nemo: hey queen was on the CD you gave me Nemo: ive been listening to it! Louie: reallyyyyy? did you like it? Louie: hey hey tae tae. taeeeeeeee. tae you should send a slefdie Louie: slefit Louie: sel fie Nemo: course! i love it Nemo: maybe i'll pick a song and choreo a dance for it Tae: you want a selfie? Louie: oooooo yes please nemo Louie: and def yes pls tae Louie: do smehthing cute Nemo [deleted]: ugh louiealkf Nemo: where's mark again? Nemo: im gonna text mark Louie: idkkkkkkk Tae:
Louie: he went to do some stuff with johnny Louie: woahhhhhhhhh Louie: waogdisjdpsgjosg Louie: shit Tae: that's me coming to get ur dumb ass Louie: wait ur coming to get me? Louie: shit shit shit wait i gotta skedoled Louie: skedadled Tae: what? Louie: well much as i think ur great im ok Louie: also i thinkk hoooo shit Louie: gotta ifnd a window lol Tae: louie if you don't stay there i will fucking murder you Tae: i'm serious Louie: deth by tae or tdeth by uncle d when he fins out Louie: shit mn if i stay its a double featur Nemo: :/ Nemo: please louie, we're worried about you Nemo: we love you! we just want to make sure you're okay Tae: yeah Tae: you're gonna stay the night with me okay Louie: oh god Tae: it'll be great Louie: hahaahahahahahaha Louie: N E M O Louie: tell him why i suddenly Louie: sgosigdsgsdg Nemo: louie i think you should Nemo: um drink water Louie: im good ill just find Louie: makr Louie: mark Nemo: that's also good please find mark Louie: n go to his place? Tae: what did i say Nemo: nothing he's on drugs Tae: i said stay put Louie: im really good thouuuugh Louie: n mark will look out for me Louie: marks nce Tae: well mark left u alone and you did cocaine so i mean not that that's his fault i'm just saying Nemo: ugh what if mark did cocaine Nemo: u dont think mark did cocaine did he Louie: dont blae me him 4 ME BEING ME Tae: DID MARK DO COCAINE Louie: honestly i dont dieossgodkh Louie: NO Tae: fuck Nemo: he might not have! we dont know Louie: i dont deesrve mrk naywayl ol Tae: nemo never do cocaine please Nemo: i cant see mark lee doing cocaine unless someone told him it was fun dip Louie: he n johnny were just doing fun stuff 2gether Tae: lmfao Nemo: id probably DIE if i did cocaine so dont worry ahha Nemo: big no no for fairies Louie: speaking of immenditd death Louie: we sure windows r no go Nemo: which is why u shouldnt do it solidarity c'mon louie Tae: if you aren't there when i get there i will be very upset Nemo: he will be Nemo: wont u louie Louie: im scared i dont want the lady 2 yell at me Louie: pls i wanna leave Tae: I'm almost there Louie: DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD= Louie: what if i hid in the bathroom Nemo: its gonna be okay louie :heart: Nemo: just um, sing a little queen Louie: no its not ill be ded 4ever n dragged home n stuck with my asshole fam n never escape n ded Nemo: you won't be dead you'll be safe Louie: shit someone said its the COPS Louie: im double triple dead Louie: n thats bullshit Louie: my fam isnt safe they suuuuuuuck Tae: WHERE ARE YOU Tae: fuck there are so many people Louie: trapped in the prison of xistance Louie: a house of horrs Louie: horors Tae: i'm serious louie i can't find you Louie: just make urself taller Louie: ill see you Tae: i'm gonna yell for you Louie: ok ok ok Nemo: ugh fksjf
#justkeepdancing-nemo#moon-yeongtae#t: like a kickass guy#r: lemo#r: taekwonduck#r: afternoon snack club#tw: drugs#i mean that's a main topic
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good enough for me. putting this under cut cause ummmm yea anyway tw animal death tw bug mention etc etc
so i have a mouse in my room rn idk how he got in but hes here. his name is harold jr and hes about half the size of my hand. i did not want to use a mouse trap bc thats very violent and it makes me sad. anything big enough to have a visible body + blood makes me uncomfortable to kill. so i asked my dad to grab non killing mouse traps which he did! i set them up a few hours ago and now its just a matter of time
however. i got to thinking. i am. quite fond of harold jr. in fact i can hear him skittering and squeaking right now. but he is most likely diseased and also a wild mouse, keeping him as a pet or thinking abt it is dumb even for me. however. i was thinking. well i forgot how my thoughts got to that point but i was thinking.
if harold jr happened to die in the trap. (mice can live abt 4 - 5 hours before they die of starvation or dehydration) what if i maybe attempted to preserve rhe skeleton.
update: in the middle of writing this i saw him climb down the wire foe my computer on my desk. did not see where he went after. anyway.
what if i kept the skeleton. ive always wanted one very badly and looked for many ethical sources i could aquire some animal bones, i reallyyyyy want a snake skeleton since theyre so cool
but. if hes in the trap that would have fo mean i would leave him to die which is basically mouse murder. which i dont feel as bad about since im not seeing any gore (sorryyyy skewed morals i know but also its winter hes gonna die anyway circle of life)
but thats my moral conundrum which im probably going to do for the sake of keepinf him here, ive grown attached. but also im really looking forward to seeinf him decompose ok last warning semi freak behavior but fr
i LOVE decomposition. i love love love stages of decomposition and cycle of life and all that, i love carrion beetles and mites and maggots mwah mwah they make me so happy. ive written my best poetry back when i did school abt decomposition its one of my favorite rhings ever. seeing it happen in real time is kind of crazy and im excited abt that. i want to take many photos and try my best to pick out the different stages. and the main thing is, my love for that greatly overweighs my aversion to killing. i mean who knows maybe ill feel bad and let him go anyway but we’ll see
but really i just want his bones. soooooooo bad. at the very least i want his skull. and like. idk im weighing my options cause if its a dead rat i found outside id obv keep it but since hes currently alive…but also hes just a mouse…harold jr is not that important except to me. its at this point im grabbing the sink and repeating im normal over and over in the mirror. keep in mind im saying this all in an autism way not a serial killer way
i am about to do something morally questionable
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i watched the dont lie svt mafia game (the first two links u sent) and it was so fun!!! i love how you dont know who the mafia is until the end so it’s like youre playing along too :) also seungkwan was so smart!!! gradually building everyones trust and gathering allies around him!! i was so sad when he was killed off tho, he literally was abt to catch the mafia 😭 and hoshi REVEALING HIMSELF AS THE MAFIA was the funniest thing ever but also really smart like he turned everyone against mingyu (who honestly i thought was the mafia too), and in the last round hoshi was just openly like “who should we kill today” IM DEAD 😂 also can i just say that jeonghan looked so GOOD in that game...he’s such a sexy mafia 😏 i cant wait to watch their second dont lie mafia game!
u already know for 127 jaehyun was my first bias and now mark is my ult <3 and for dreamies if u dont count mark (since i knew him from 127 first so kinda unfair) i think jaemin was prob also my first and current bias?? he was my first bias and i just never stopped 😂 for wayv i think my bias is yangyang hehe :) im trying to think abt what similarities in my biases are - it might just be the smiley happy funny ones with the best laughs as we talked about before (this is weird but i think when i first meet someone i notice their laugh?? like i love ppl who have laughs that you can tell are just truly from their heart if that makes sense) i might also have a slight bias for rap lines but i think that is not as concrete as the smiley/funny thing!
omg thats so cool that you know so many languages!! youre so cool hehe :) i always have so much respect for ppl who learned languages (idk i dont count me knowing canto as learning a language bc i kinda passively learned it thanks to my parents hahaha) i took french and spanish for a bit in school but i didnt continue and have thus forgotten most of it D: (which i kinda regret, i want to try learning french again someday) also i totally get that about chinese and japanese being intimidating...ive always thought it'd be so cool to learn another asian language (and one that is more widely used than canto) but they are quite hard, esp for chinese/japanese where the writing system is a lot harder to learn!! i learned korean hangul so i can sound out words veryyyy slowly but i dont know what they mean 99% of the time 😂 i havent seriously applied myself to actively learning a third language but i've always wanted to! i can understand basic korean phrases tho since i watch so much korean content ahahaha
hmm as for weird phobias, i really hate cockroaches?? or bugs in general...and i also hate when circles are bunched together rly closely lol (i think it’s called tryptophobia but i wouldnt recommend googling that cuz it grosses me out so much omg 😰😰)
ok now to close this out on a happier note lol i THINK i can name all the svt members now??? like with maybe 85% accuracy 😂 and i think my first biases are joshua, jeonghan, & kinda dino and vernon :)) but i feel myself slowly falling for all of them i love how chaotic they are and ive laughed so much watching their videos already 😊😊
AAAH i'm so glad you loved it 🥺 ikr it was so good??? i especially loved the part when hoshi just blamed mingyu!!!!! and manipulated everyone into thinking that he was one of the mafia!!! what a smart move but also fun? hoshi the god of variety shows!! tbh i kinda knew minghao was the mafia since the beginning... he was just too quiet... i mean he is a quiet person yk but he was more suspicious than usual 👀 and i guess bc in the beginning they gave us the preview of their reactions and he laughed and knowing he's a scorpio i only assumed... so i didn't 100% buy hoshi's lie bc i was still sure that hao was one of the mafia 🤷🏻♀️ still tho it was legendary!!!! but i guess mingyu played it stupid and he was sus to begin with so 🤷🏻♀️ yeah.... YOU CAN SAY THAT JEONGHAN LOOKS GOOD BC damn right he does 😍 he is a beautiful man what can i say 🤷🏻♀️ he is also very confident in himself (the other day i watched one gose ep from 2019 it's called debate night i think and basically they're having a debate about the stupidest, most pointless things in the world (like is it better to live AS a pigeon or live WITH a pigeon for a year, or is it better to have 3 eyes or 3 arms 😅) and jeonghan always had a counter argument, ALWAYS, but he would say it so confidently looking handsome as hell he could make me believe that grass was blue..) btw gose always has dumb content like this but still i think it's the best idol content out there only bc svt are crazy funny and chaotic and those 13 boys share a total of 2 braincells shared by wonwoo and jun each; like there is one ep i think it's called the8 and the 12 shadows ans basically they all move in a row and all 12 of them have to repeat what the first member is doing, it might sound smart when i explain it but if you'd watch it you'd see that it's so dumb and pointless but it's funny and 1hour long and carats watch it bc 🤷🏻♀️ anyways what i'm trying to do is show you what you're getting yourself into😌
ohhhh i think jaehyun, mark, nana and yangyang all have beautiful smiles and they’re all very smiley and bright people 🥺 so that's definitely the one thing your biases have in common 🥺 that's so cute 🥺 oh you think you're attracted more to the rap line? 🤔 all of your nct biases are indeed rappers (jaehyun is a i can do it all i'm 97 line he is excluded) so maybe??? but yeah you biasing bright idols is 🥺 adorable!!!
ahh thank you 🥺 i try!! yeah most people forget languages if they don't use them regularly </3 kinda scared i'll forget french bc i never use it nowadays, i used to know a woman who only spoke french and i would have to translate to her what my family tells her and vice versa, it was a great french exercise 💪 but i don't see her anymore so </3 the fact that you speak canto and chinese(mandarin i guess?) intimidates you really adds fuel to the fire<3 it's great that you know how to read hangul!!! me too!! you'll get better at reading with practise! but compared to chinese characters i don't think it's that hard, i mean, how do chinese people even memorize all the characters?? or WORSE how do foreigners memorize them??! writing in chinese must be so hard do you have to pay attention to all the tiny lines?? that's a lot of work 😨 i am terrified 😨 do you also know basic japanese phrases from anime?? bc personally i do but i know a lot more korean than japanese i mean thank god, i'm learning korean religiously tho 😂 still tho can't watch idol content without titles</3 (except with chinese wayv members who struggle OMG MAYBE I LOVE CHINA LINE BC THEY MAKE KOREAN A BIT EASIER? anyways i completely relate to them bc korean grammar is so hard, so strange and so different from grammar i'm used to in 'western' languages)
cockroaches? 😨 i too hate insects of every kind<3 so i understand <3 oh i know about tryptophobia(?)!!! one of my friends is scared of the same thing too, have to admit it does look disgusting 😬 i'm also afraid of heights and water!!! (but like the sea and the ocean sjsgsjaha i can't swim!! and i never want to!!!) 😨😅
AHHHH I'M SO PROUD OF YOU 🤧 what a bias combo thooooo 👀 jeonghan? i approve! he is so fun!!! so beautiful!! sexc 👀 jeonghan is so interesting i love him and also joshua is so pretty too?? i mean obvs they're both visuals sjgssj but it's different with shua bc i can look at him all day it's soooo calming to just look at him?? ahh angelic! it's kinda interesting to me bc you bias jeonghan and joshua and jihan (their ship name) is kind of a big deal™ did you know that????? i assume it was unintetional and you had no idea about it jsgsja i also approve of vernon and dino as well but i mean i would approve of anyone and everyone at this point 🤷🏻♀️ have you seen pics of jeonghan with long hair??? i feel lowkey bad for saying this but he is so beautiful i deadass thought he was a woman 😧
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#tuesjade#i called what i was doing kid shuffles#just bc kidswap seems to generally be switching their designs and aesthetics around#which is cool but not what i was doing#kid shuffle#kat writes fic#? i guess
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disregard the last post.
i made that with a lot of anger and frustration. weve talked a lot since then and I'm... not that angry anymore. I probably shouldn't even be talking with you, but i hate how much it helped.
i hate curiosity. i always scolded you and warned you about looking for things you might not want to find and i did it. i found something i didn't want to find.
i found out you were casually dating again.
and of course you are. i mean. we "broke up" in September. it's been months. theres no reason to feel shameful or bad. I cant fault you and I cant be mad at you. and I'm still mad about some stuff, but that's not one of them.
this one hurts though. i knew i would feel like this, but i hate how much my mind keeps REMINDING ME. I'll be trying to sleep and my mind is like, "u kno she seeing someone right. they prolly banging. its prolly way better then ur tired ass sex. doesnt have to say weird fetish shit." and its LIKE. OK. I GET IT. STOP. STOP REPEATING OVER AND OVER. DONT WAKE ME UP TO REMIND ME.
i heard about it after I went snooping about your party. people said their was distinct body language and he seems to have a very outgoing personality and seemed really nice. it sounds like exactly what you need and IT KILLS ME.
I HATE I went snooping. OF COURSE this is what i get. we've talked since then and i know you feel confused and scared. best thing I could actually do for you is leave you alone and let you have a real chance at it. maybe it's a rebound. but so were we. my evil, manipulative side knows that you still feel emotionally connected to me due to calling me about Vday stuff. my pragmatic side wants to sort out a deal where i exchange emotional support for physical intimacy because I know we both want those things and know the other can give them. i can listen and talk and care about your problems and you could do whatever weird, gross, aggressive sexual stuff and not judge me (I think.) but my less evil/neutral sides know that that would throw a wrench in both our things and the best thing I can do is stay away.
that being said... I dont want to. it's like doing coke or something. like yeah, it's bad. but like. if no one knows... then maybe it's not THAT bad. like it would detrimental to us if we got together and we argued and fought. that would be unhealthy. but just... secreting away and being physical and keeping it hot and fast.. ugh. I mean. its sorta like all those fantasies you helped me with. except we wouldn't be pretending.
ugh. prolly makes me a horrible person. prolly makes US. I know you kind of want to do the same thing. I tried to cool suggest it, but you're probably conflicted about it too. I want you to just... show up late one night. some random text at like... 11pm being like, "I'm outside. should I leave?" and then I mull it over and invite you in quietly. you're wearing something impossibly hot like you do. we hug and I can tell you want to feel my body because it's been so long. we go back to my room and talk awkwardly for a few minutes. we both mention how you shouldnt be here sheepishly while ignoring the fact neither of us are protesting it very hard. you slide off your coat, looking me in the eye the whole time. that longing, sad look. that look that makes it impossible not to kiss you. I pull away after a minute and say, "this is wrong. we shouldnt be doing this." and you lean in close to my ear and whisper "hes not you." and I instinctually press my body against yours. you nuzzle into my neck as you slide your hands under my shirt, around my waist and up my back. I put my hands on your waist and take a deep breath of the smell of your hair. I say, "i dont want to hurt anyone" you said "I dont care." or more likely "no one has to know"... we appreciate each others bodies like we always should have. I go over every inch of you, knowing I might not see it again. you go over those inches of me like they're an old friend you're excited to see. you say all the terrible things I want you to say and I hurt you like you liked to be hurt. we go on for an hour. i want you to stay but i cant ask. my willpower drained with my stress. you fix yourself and disappear like an uninvited vampire. i cry. a lot. i hold myself and wish it was you. the lifetime of memories creeping back onto me. I hate myself for what I've done, but desperately try and inhale your fading scent still lingering in my bed.
ugh. I'm probably gonna end up writing something hot and complete after sharing that. I hate that I want that so bad. but I shouldnt. I have more to lose in this than you do.
you would hate me if you knew what I had been up to since. one of the other reasons I cant judge you for moving on. I've talked and reached out to many people you arent a fan of. not to spite you, but because those people knew me in intimate ways I can trust. I gained insight from talking to them and meeting with them. but that's not what I'm referring to.
im... also.. casually dating someone. it's still all pretty fledgling, as I am WAY too delicate to dedicate myself to anyone. but its... it's someone you know. some things had been happening that neither of us knew about.. and I dont want to tell you because I feel like I'd be cursing you with the same curse that I have. imaging you with that person, not being able to stop... but I know the curiosity is almost as killer for you. its.. a hard thing to figure out morally. but I dont want to jeopardize it. its... it's a once in a lifetime chance. they care about me.. legitimately. and probably more than they should with how emotionally volatile I am right now. but they dont really know how.. I am. part of me is a sweet, great guy. but another part of me is the type to want to have that night I wrote about. a secret trust where we exhaust each other physical and say all the sick things we want, knowing that the other wont judge them. (hell, anything is better than arguing)
I want to be physically wanted... but I want to be wanted by you. I loved when you would love my body. cause like... in my head, when people say things about loving me, I always diffuse it "oh she just thinks she loves me like that" "oh shes convinced herself she likes that about me" "oh she thinks that's cute now, but give it time..." and its just... innate to my awful self esteem. but body stuff? making out with me? going down on me? holding, examining and loving.. parts of me? it feels so much... truer to me. like someone couldnt lie about that. I know thats... naive to think. but that's how it feels. no one who doesnt like you is gonna put their dick in their mouth. bottom line. or go along with your fantasies that you yourself think are strange to be attracted to. i wanted you to want me so bad. i wanted you to love my body and tell me youd been thinking about it. it's such a direct link to my heart.. ugh. but that.. stuff got all messed up. I think that's what made me fall in love in the first year. you cherished my body. you worshipped it. you wanted to sherk your duties to have more of it and I was totally enthralled. that first year made me stay for so long and through so much. always chasing that high. that time where my body was all you wanted and all i wanted was your heart. and it all got so... nevermind.
the person I'm dating.. we're talking it very slow. ive.. kissed her. in fact, your vday call interrupted that kiss. can you believe that timing? thanks universe. if you're trying to say we should get back together, maybe dont kill a beautiful innocent cat next time. I was mad you wanted me to support you through death.. after you abandoned me when I needed your support so bad. I'm still kinda mad. but whatever. this isnt a mad post.
i.. its. shes.. she lets me talk about you. she knows you. maybe better than I did. its hard.. shes not experienced with.. our type of relationship so much. I try not to put much on her. for the reasons of not wanting to overburden her and to keep from forming an instant bond. I know I still have these raw, visceral feelings for you and I dont want to hurt someone I care about because of them. I dont know how you know your new guy, but my guess is: not very well. maybe it's a tinder date. maybe it's a friend of a friend. but if I had to make an educated guess, it's someone far removed who is just.. treating you well. like how you want to be treated. kind of a nobody, but that's a good thing. like if things kept being nice, cool. if they didnt work, whatever. something noncommittal. something lowkey. something you didnt have to /worry/ about. which is all... smart. but I also know that if you felt like you wanted to drive that shit into a wall, you wouldnt lose a lot of sleep over it. and you considering the tryst.. well. yeah. speaks to that effect. i... I wonder if I should have even suggested its because I can't drive my thing into a wall. its... I cant. youd understand if you knew.
theres probably only one person in your mind you would legitimately fear me dating if you sat down and thought about it. someone that wasn't just someone you didnt want me dating. not like Kayla or Grace where it would just... bug you. I mean deeper. someone that you couldnt wrest me away from. someone that your charms would fall flat because of. I'm talking Caitlyn levels of dedicated affection. and as I said, I dont want to jump in. I know how easily i fall in love. I'm taking this slow. developing a foundation. trying to figure myself. wanting someone to treat me well and watch anime and cartoons with while being warm and laughing. someone to affectionately take care of me. someone who wanted to spend time with me.. someone who's house i could come over to in the daylight.. someone who's friends were excited for her and not judgemental of her..
I get why you're dating. I'm doing the same thing for the same reasons. i need this. you need this. i wanted you to treat me these ways but i couldnt keep.. telling you how to treat me after so many years. you could write a book on me. I STILL know how to take care of you and I mostly figured it out after years. I wanted to see you try and figure me out. you didnt have to be right. I just wanted you to try. I left a breadcrumb on my IG for this story, but I never know when or if you'll ever read these. I always want to hear your feelings too. I wish you wrote like this. I wish I had a direct line to your thoughts like back in the day when you wrote. it always helped. I still check your tumblr from time to time. like the idiot I am.
ugh. like the absolute idiot I am.
(ps. I watch that last video we made like every day.)
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Like, what do you think of them generally?
alright alright alright alright alright thank u for the opportunity to talk about diaboys!!! I appreciate it ! under a read more bc I ranted forever
LAITO:
My first exposure to dialovers was the anime so my first impression towards Laito was like “oh, he’s the flirty one - oh shit he’s banging her in a church, you cant do that, thats nuts lol” but as I got more into the games, Laito became SO IMPORTANT TO ME??? especially like his relationships, w/ ALL the characters like his brothers and yui and the other families and everything! I especially love learning more about his relationship with Ayato and Kanato because it’s so dang complex. His feelings towards his triplet bros is really complicated because he loves them and you know he loves them but his trauma w/ his mom sort of fucks it all up so he’s got like this genuinely nice and kind and loving personality fighting against this trauma and warped view of the concepts of love and family that Cordelia gave him, and what you get is, “I love my family and I hope they die” and throughout the games u learn more about the reasons why he has those world views and it’s SO GOOD Laito is such a well thought-out character!?! As a writer Laito delights me but as a fan, his whole deal makes me so dang sad djhfghjdkdfd
That’s why I was so fucking satisfied w/ Laito in the Laito vs Shin cd because you got a bunch of the darker stuff surrounding him (his tendency to push people off of buildings, that FUCKING VOICE DROP he does when he’s genuinely mad) and Laito was like...he was SCARY. And he was scaring YUI and he was scaring HIMSELF, too, which made me so sad!! Laito was like crying and punching walls and being like “why am I acting like this??” and it fuckin broke my heart dude. He’s a genuinely good person, he’s so wonderful, but he’s recovering from some really really nasty stuff. So that cd really gave me a sense of like, “Man, Laito hates this just as much as I do.” It makes me want to...idk...it makes me want to give him more opportunities to be good. He really is good!!!
KANATO:
As for my first impression, I think Kanato turned me off right away because I could instantly recognize all the tropes they were gonna use when they were designing him. You can look at him and tell that he’s gonna be the ~yandere~ character (I hate using that word but u know what tropes I’m talking about). As soon as they showed him eating a bunch of sweets I was like “yep.” When they showed us his room full of wax dolls, I was like “uh huh, that seems about right.” And then he yelled a lot and tried to stab Yui for making him french toast or whatever and I was like “ok.........I’ll go start ayato’s route” u know??? just super not my type, and the Kanato vs Azusa cd was torture because Azusa’s so soft-spoken but Kanato’s always yelling at the top of his lungs. I had to keep messing with the volume and it bugged me.
I think I would like Kanato a lot more if he...had a...friend. I think rejet kinda realized that he needed one and they had that in mind when they were introducing Azusa, but that ended up being a pretty bad failure I think. Kanato doesn’t really get along with anyone and he’s pretty open about admitting that he doesn’t like anyone particularly well. I’m glad to see him starting to love Yui genuinely but...idk I feel like every other diaboy has another diaboy(s) that he gets along with really well and it’s always nice to see them acting friendly and even encouraging each other sometimes! Kanato doesn’t really have that kind of relationship with anyone. When Ayato tried to reach out and apologize in LE, Kanato was like “lol kill yourself” and I was actually so fuckin mad at him, I was like “boy if you don’t fix that attitude of yours-”..........I guess I just wish that he had more character development by this point. That scene really hurt.
RUKI:
Basically the WORST first impression ever...my first Ruki scene that I ever saw was when he broke the cat’s neck and I was so pissed. I was like “immediately fuck this guy” and he became my least favorite character right away. And on top of that he was really elitist and one of those jerk intellectuals “ohhh solve this puzzle or STAY OUT THERE IN THE COLD you big dumb idiot. im smart and you’re not” and I was like FUCK this guy, how does yuma put up with him with HIS backstory?
But I hella warmed up to him during MB, like especially during Reiji’s route where Ruki was like “...uh...okay” the whole time jhdghdj that shit was hilarious. Ruki started feeling really real. And I think that like...hm...like if Laito is a genuinely good person surrounded by bad influence, Ruki is the opposite - he’s a bad personality surrounded by good influence. Ruki’s a jerk and he’s been a jerk his whole life but he has these wonderful brothers who love him so much and this lovely angel Yui and he’s just got all these good people who look up to him and he has to be good. This little asshole kid who treated all his servants like shit is now cooking dinner for his three adoptive brothers every day and they love him so much and they love him so much. It’s so fucking satisfying. I love seeing him supporting his brothers even though it conflicts with his personality and his main drive, like letting Kou run away with Yui even though Kou couldn’t become Adam. Ruki’s most important thing in MB was making one of the Mukamis become Adam but he gave that up to let Kou be happy. That shit is so important. Ruki was such a fuckin turnaround for me, I hated him at first but now I love the hell out of him and what he represents for the Mukamis.
KOU:
Kou is great!! I think he’s affected lots of characters in really positive ways, and he’s been affected in positive ways by different characters and it’s really nice to see. For sure he’s still got that trauma from his past but I really appreciate that Kou is in an environment that doesn’t have a lot of reminders of the bad stuff from his childhood. Like, how Kou was sought after for being such a beautiful child, and how he was trapped in a dark place for such a long time. There’s none of that shit when he lives with the Mukamis. Rejet could’ve easily put in tons of haunting reminders about Kou’s whole “too beautiful for his own good” thing but whenever he gets complimented, it’s usually for something different. Azusa will talk about how talented and amazing he is, and Kino’ll be like “idol clothes are pretty nuts huh? lol” and Ruki will be like “you’re working properly after all” and I fuckin love that shit...They could’ve made it so dang hard for Kou, but no, he’s in a much happier place now. He’s nice and comfortable being with these people. That makes me feel relieved lol
I already talked about how he helped Ruki but I think the most important relationship with a diaboy that he has is SUBARUUUUU cuz like, when you look at Subaru’s route you’re like “oh he definitely needs a friend, I’m glad he has a gf but he was so dang lonely and self-deprecating that he DEFINITELY just needs a genuine good friend” and then Kou showed up and he was like “guess what subaru? we’re gonna be friends, I’ve decided” and subaru was like “???” and MB happened and by the end of it Subaru was like “I took everything you said really seriously and I do want to be friends with you..............im not gonna say it out loud tho. let’s just shake hands ok” and I was like AW HECK YEAH!!!!! And then you keep seeing nice little reminders that they’re friends in other games, like in either LP or VC (Im sorry I literally cannot tell these two games apart) they were picking out hair accessories together for Yui, and in the Subaru vs Kou cd, Kou asks Subaru at the end if he had fun, and in LE Kou gave Subaru that pep talk and made Subaru laugh, and Subaru was like “Kou if I’m gonna die then I want you to kill me” and Kou was like “But I don’t want you to die!” and Subaru was like “you dont??? you actually care? about ME???” ITS SO FUCKING GOOD DUDE Subaru needed Kou so badly. Thank god for Kou honestly
KINO:
It was weird like...I was so mad at him during certain routes but I could never actually dislike him. It’s because he’s so dang funny tbh. He literally killed some of my favorite characters but then he would say a funny line and I’d be like “haha, I’m glad kino is here!” like it’s almost scary how charismatic he is towards both the other characters and to me, the player. He asked nicely if he could kill Shu and Shu was like “ok, sure.” Kino is hands down my fav villain because of this. Especially because you can really tell that deep down he wants to be a real member of the Sakamaki family and like he genuinely wants to be friends with people like Yuma and Kou, and he’s got the whole villain-turned-awkward-family-member trope which I LOVE. Like especially in that drama cd where he was like “I never get to go to school so I want to do home ec with you guys! Let’s make donuts!” and Kou was like “ok!!!” and kou tries to be super positive and encouraging the whole time even though Kino was actually secretly plotting to blow the place up. Kino looks like an idiot but he’s a genius tbh
and and and and and and I want him to kiss yuri. I think yuri is super in love w/ kino too, despite the fact that he’s. annoying. thats all I got dhgfdjskj...I love the childhood-friends-to-lovers trope so fuckin much
CARLA:
hey carla fuck you
I was really mad at him for his actions in DF mostly ^^; And tbh it’s really hypocritical because it was a group effort between both of the Tsukinamis, but I ended up loving Shin and hating Carla. Kino also did similar bad stuff to Carla, but I ended up loving him while hating Carla. So, why?
Well here’s fuckin why. Shin and Kino are cute & funny. They have their nice little payoff moments - maybe Shin hurt one of my favorite characters, but then you get to see how bubbly and energetic he gets around his big brother. He was walking one of his wolves around christmas time while wearing a red jacket and a random kid approached him thinking he was santa claus. That’s adorable! For a long time, Carla didn’t have anything like that. And he was a jerk to absolutely everyone, including Shin, who was so dang devoted to him!! Like remember in the DF cds where he was like “hey shin, the plan is we suck her blood until she’s purified from the vampires” and shins like “ok nii-san got it” and he started sucking her blood, exactly like he was ordered to, and then carla came in and STABBED HIM and was like “hey dont touch my property” like SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK CARLA U TOLD HIM TO DO IT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!! IT WAS THE PLAN
And he fucked Ayato up real bad in DF so I was so mad...;; I only recently started forgiving him once diatwitter and LE started up. Diatwitter let us see his cute old grandpa side where he fuckin wanders around amusement parks by himself like some kind of cryptid and kou keeps being like “wait was that carla? what the heck??” and LE gave us some pretty nice stuff like carla being like “ur definitely my brother, shin” so...carla is ok I guess...but then again LE also gave us some bad carla moments like “if ur not actually a founder then u lied to me and im gonna kill u” so basically uh?? carla’s just a jerk I think. I’m warming up to him at a snail’s pace but he’s still a jerk. sucks about the endzeit tho, I hope he’s like permanently ok now
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one week since u looked at me
James and LIly fight and it’s 100% the other person’s fault, and everyone is just a little bit unhinged.
3371 Words
For @expressopatronum, who requested a jily fic based on the Barenaked Ladies song. :D
tues.
James Potter to M8S B4 D8S: well. Fuck.
James Potter: im broken up
James Potter: literally
James Potter: and metaphorically
James Potter: and every other kind of shitty ally tbh
James Potter: hello?????
James Potter: im in Crisis here
Peter Pettigrew: we know, mate. You ok?
James Potter: how??
Peter Pettigrew: well…
James Potter: she texted u???
Remus Lupin: she texted me
Peter Pettigrew: then he told us
Remus Lupin: wtf, Prongs
James Potter: u believe her???
Remus Lupin: didn’t say that, mate. Just a weird situation, yeah??
James Potter: Weird = shitty, then yea. her fault tho for being so dramatic!! And do u arseholes have a group chat w/out me???
Sirius Black: nah. y would we do smth like that to u prongs. go chill @ mine. AND i for one am being a good mate and withholding judgment. (except on evans cos shes clearly at fault here)
James Potter: damn straight she is. 100%!!! and im already @ urs, actually. where r u tho?
Sirius Black: alcohol
James Potter: Good Man
Remus Lupin: I’m getting pizza
James Potter: don’t bother?? never eating again
James Potter: PS no more talking to evans unless its for espionage
Peter Pettigrew: this should be fun
- - -
James Potter to Not Lovely Lily: ready for ur apology, like, whenever, babe
James Potter: no?
James Potter: sirius’s sofa is super fucking cosy, btw
James Potter: PS whatever the current differences between us, pls dont stoop so low as to eat Mums biscuits
wed.
Lily Evans to StupidHair BigMouth: the biscuits were fucking delicious.
James Potter: WOW
- - -
Sirius Black to squatter potter: BABE. u know i theoretically want to be sympathetic to ur emo angst. or whatever. but y the FUCK r u watching x-files at half volume at 3:37 fucking am
James Potter: go back to sleep??
Sirius Black: fucking difficult w the light coming in under my door
Sirius Black: AND u mess up my recs w that shit
James Potter: ill tell pete u think x-files is shit
James Potter: PS dana Scully is /not shit
Sirius Black: the redhead???
Sirius Black: fuckall, prongs, if ur watching the show bc she has red hair
James Potter: im NOT. watching bc it’s a Good show.
Sirius Black: is not
James Potter: it holds up!!
Sirius Black: fine. im not arguing w u bc u cant take the blow of being wrong. i get it. but if u wank to sculley on my sofa, potter, ill end you.
James Potter: u wldnt
Sirius Black: imported velvet. vintage. custom ticking. turned legs. u know how i feel abt that lounge, Babe.
James Potter: /i wldnt
Sirius Black: …
James Potter: k. ill stop
Sirius Black: damn straight. uve been broken up for a day??
James Potter: 31.25 hrs. n we ARENT broken up
Sirius Potter: whatever. make up with evans or im kicking you out
James Potter: what happened to being a good mate????
Sirius Black: making up w evans is whats good for u
James Potter: u know its not that simple.
Sirius Black: if ur waiting for me to ask u WHY its not simple….dont. shldve done that when lupin was here.
James Potter: i /did. i still need to process tho.
Sirius Black: process alone, w the volume below 12 & ur prick IN your pants!
Sirius Black: and reset xfiles to s6e4
- - -
James Potter to #1 MUM <333: mum…you up?
Euphemia Potter: no
James Potter: …wow
James Potter: Good to know whose side ur on???
Euphemia Potter: I’m staying neutral.
James Potter: can you at least make me more biscuits?
Euphemia Potter: no. I gave her permission to eat them. James Potter: p sure that’s taking sides!!!
James Potter: are u talking to her right now???
Euphemia Potter: Her mother has passed, dear. She relies on me for situations like this.
James Potter: WOW
Euphemia Potter: weren’t you just here asking for your grandmother’s engagement ring last week?
James Potter: yes!!
Euphemia Potter: Perhaps you should come over for breakfast tomorrow.
James Potter: no
James Potter: …ill think about it
- - -
Sirius Black to squatter potter: DID I JUST HEAR U FUCKING GROAN
thurs.
James Potter to Babe: listen…sorry abt the sofa thing
James Potter: maybe outta line a bit. I wont watch xfiles tonight tho
James Potter: i can come over tonight, right???
Sirius Black: imported vintage italian velvet lounges b4 m8s
- - -
James Potter to sailor moony: and fuck, like. she deadass looked at me and said ‘im angry’ what does that even mean??? How can she be angry at an accident??
Remus Lupin: Prongs. uve told me this 12 times
James Potter: seven. my soul splits every time I tell it, so id know
James Potter: fuck
James Potter: LUPIN
James Potter: if u dont answer ill stop supplying ur Weetabix Habit
Remus Lupin: You wouldn’t. You know why??? its 3 in the morning. I didn’t sleep bc two nights ago u were making us listed to the Lily Playlist. Last night Padfoot wldnt stop texting me abt u watching x-files (???) and tonight…I NEED SLEEP
James Potter: ur right. im not heartless.
James Potter: unlike evans
James Potter: i /am desperate tho
James Potter: if u answer, i wont come over and bug u in person.
Remus Lupin: Deal. So what else did she say?
James Potter: thats it!
Remus Lupin: normal voice, or scary quiet rage voice?
James Potter: wld i be texting u @3am if it was the normal one?
Remus Lupin: fair point…just surprised that’s all she said, considering you killed her pet
James Potter: first mum, now u?? i went to breakfast w/ her this morning and she AMUSHED ME!! ddnt even make bacon! a two hr lecture and No Bacon.
James Potter: over a fish! Remus Lupin: lily’s fish. which u killed. James Potter: it was a tragic, unavoidable accident!!
James Potter: ac·ci·dent 1. an unfortunate incident that happens unexpectedly and unintentionally, typically resulting in damage or injury. google does not lie.
James Potter: anyway thts what i get for doing Chores and trying to help around the flat
James Potter: i can feel ur disapproval, lupin
James Potter: she LOATHED that fish. she called it fish! how attached can u rlly be against smth u havent named. petunia pawned it off on her! she made Flushing jokes on the regular?? rly… was doing her a favor
Remus Lupin: please for the love of god tell me u didn’t tell her that
James Potter: which part
Remus Lupin: all of it. Any of it.
James Potter: well.
Remus Lupin: fuck
James Potter: so can i come over?
Remus Lupin: …
James Potter: can i come in?
Remus Lupin: where are you?
James Potter: ur front steps
James Potter: i need Emotional Support, lupin
Remus Lupin: fine
fri.
James Potter to grlFIEND: still cant believe you tackled me to the ground this afternoon??? I should report u??
Lily Evans: I should report you??? trespassing? it’s how I’d treat any common burglar!
James Potter: 1. u know I’d be an Excellent burglar. don’t be harsh.
James Potter: 2. its not trespassing when i pay ½ rent
Lily Evans: Technically yes, but morally??? NOT ur flat
James Potter: you know how skeevy my teeth feel w/out my water flosser? which i still don’t have btw??
Lily Evans: I was so mad I threw ur attachments out, so
James Potter: Wow
James Potter: my rug burns are FINE, btw
Lily Evans: I had to buy a black dress, sew a veil, host a FUNERAL, write a EULOGY, send petunia a video of the whole thing, and ur whining about rug burns and a water flosser??? Lmao ok.
James Potter: lmao IM the dramatic one? OK
Lily Evans: Read 1:35:10 AM
James Potter: u actually have to, like, turn on the function for it to be a burn
Lily Evans: Read 1:36:14 AM
James Potter: …
Lily Evans: Read 1:36:25 AM
- - -
James Potter to Babe: u talking to me yet???
James Potter: it was an Accident
Sirius Black: Read 1:45:15 AM
Sirius Black: go to petes
- - -
James Potter: to pumpkin eater: PETE. My dude.
Peter Pettigrew: no.
James Potter: listen. black + lupin have fallen into dishonor
Peter Pettigrew: they haven’t
James Potter: they HAVE in collusion w/ one another and on their own, betrayed and disowned me. whts Dishonor if not that??
Peter Pettigrew: sirius told me u were wanking on his velvet sofa
James Potter: SCULLEY
Peter Pettigrew: i get it, but u know how he feels about that. second only to his motorbike.
James Potter: …
Peter Pettigrew: and u, ofc.
James Potter: he and remus both think x-files is shit
Peter Pettigrew: fuckers
James Potter: so can i come over?
Peter Pettigrew: go HOME, prongs. to ur girlfriend.
James Potter: p sure she dumped me???
Peter Pettigrew: 1. she LOVES ur fucking face. she nearly snogged it off in FRONT OF ME just last week?? shes just as miserable as u are.
Peter Pettigrew: 2. I live w/ my mum
Peter Pettigrew: 3. U rlly have a wanking problem.
Peter Pettigrew: 4. My mum has never seen a penis and I wont let the first one she sees be URS
James Potter: idk how to tell u this, pete, but shes a MUM, so…shes had kids…
James Potter: we can smoke
Peter Pettigrew: come in thru the back
- - -
James Potter to sailor moony: fuck
Remus Lupin: …you know my name isn’t actually ‘fuck’ … right?
James Potter: Remus. Fuck.
Remus Lupin: isn’t pete watching you?
James Potter: he passed out.
Remus Lupin: dammit. where are you now??
James Potter: in a tree. like…u want to do a thought experiment with me?
Remus Lupin: …
James Potter: sorry, shldnt have phrased that as a question. Emotional Support.
Remus Lupin: you aren’t allowed to use that anymore.
James Potter: k, so like, if a person, however well-intentioned, right? like if they did something that hurt someone else. even if they didn’t Mean to. like maybe it’d be decent of them to say sorry??
Remus Lupin: you think???
James Potter: yea
James Potter: i mean…im Not saying that person shld. cos shes still bang out of order w/ the toothbrush. + the biscuits. + poisoning u and my mum against me.
James Potter: *their mate and their mum against them
Remus Lupin: you were saying…about the thought experiment?
James Potter: oh, like, well that person might owe the other person an apology
James Potter: *might. maybe. like 5% maybe
Remus Lupin: i would agree, but more like 95%
James Potter: just smth to Think about. Ya know??
James Potter: OK, heres the thing. its not hypothetical. talking abt evans ofc. cos like, i laughed, right? at her. while shes…crying. But!!! i smiled because it is kind of fucking funny??? shes overreacting + SOBBING. but, like, also cos shes so Cute and she did that elbow thing she always does when shes mad?? cannot convey how cute she was!! its so funny? that was, like, sure, the Wrong thing to do, because it just set her off More, and. ANYWAY, I could kind of…maybe…see how she would be upset by my laughing. or think I was laughing at her pain when really it was her anger. which doesn’t Sound like a good distinction, but it is a Solid distinction. ANYWAY, like, u know I have No Poker face, right?
Remus Lupin: you do wear your heart on you sleeve
James Potter: we both know ive a LONG history of taking off my shirt
Remus Lupin: really? you, james fleamont potter, have a history of overreacting and making poor decisions and have impulse control problems? i had no. fucking. idea. completely shocked.
James Potter: imma ignore that u used my middle name + the bit abt the impulse control
Remus Lupin: apologize to her??
Remus Lupin: actually…get your thoughts together a little bit more than this, maybe? then apologize
James Potter: gotta figure how to get down from this tree first
James Potter: thx for the talk lupin
Remus Lupin: night, prongs
sat.
James Potter to Maybe Lovely Lily: can I come home yet???
Lily Evans: lmao
Lily Evans: when u get ur shite together, yeah?
James Potter: u have all of my shite at OUR flat???
Lily Evans: delivered it to remus
- - -
James Potter to lupin, fuck: u have my stuff????
Remus Lupin: this pile of shite in my living room? yes.
Remus Lupin: come collect immediately pls.
James Potter: shove it in the spare closet
Remus Lupin: spare closet is full of pete’s contraband he doesn’t want his mum to see.
James Potter: right. well, go through and take what you want as payment.
Remus Lupin: already did. btw why do you have a sumo suit?
James Potter: she brought over the sumo suit???
Remus Lupin: yes.
James Potter: FUCKING WOW
James Potter: btw…how did she look? what all did she say? (not that I care!!!) but is she despondent w/out? dark circles? facial blemishes b/c she’s been too distracted to adhere to her rigorous skincare regime? did she even have the energy to contour??
Remus Lupin: she looked ok .
James Potter: whts that mean
Remus Lupin: i mean she looked fine.
James Potter: no tear tracks?
Remus Lupin: no.
James Potter: damn
Remus Lupin: she didn’t look great though? honestly, prongs, i think she’s just waiting for you to apologize.
James Potter: not a chance????
Remus Lupin: dammit. you were almost there last night
James Potter: ????
Remus Lupin: the thought experiment?
James Potter: i got high with pete last night
Remus Lupin: should’ve known.
James Potter: and I might have, except she gave back the sumo suit which is an act of war????
Remus Lupin: james…do not blow this…more out of proportion. ok?
James Potter: id never
Remus Lupin: BLOCKED
- - -
James Potter to #1 MUM: can i at least have the biscuit recipe???
Euphemia Potter: sent
- - -
James Potter to DEFO NOT LOVELY LILY: the sumo suit??? really???? u know how to cut deep, evans
James Potter: i thought this was going to blow over quickly but apparently no???
James Potter: PS I hope u like The Pic I posted on Instagram (dnt pretend like u arnt stalking me)
Lily Evans: u wldnt
James Potter: …already did
Lily Evans: btw I had to throw ur fave Tupperware away. contaminated w/ dead fish germs.
Lily Evans: like, I almost kept it and dint tell you, but my Conscience (a lil voice that tells u right from wrong) smote me, so….
James Potter: W O W. you kept a dead body in my fave Tupperware???? the one that keeps my soup warm???
Lily Evans: Read 11:13:09 PM
- - -
James Potter to Pete McGeet: listen: Chickity China the Chinese chicken
James Potter: and u…have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin’
James Potter: or smth
James Potter: anyway…wanna go to KFC???
Peter Pettigrew: what in the ever loving hell, prongs
James Potter: i think im cracking up
James Potter: defo pissed.
Peter Pettigrew: its sad. And a little bit pathetic.
James Potter: pathetic enough to stay at urs again tonight??? U know abt the others. And Mom wont let me on account of the principle.
Peter Pettigrew: if u bring KFC, yes
James Potter: me + the colonel are in a taxi now…
sun.
James Potter to Rude Remus: MATE
James Potter: got a burner phone
James Potter: PS imma pretend u ddnt block me
James Potter: anyway coming to go through my stuff, ok?
James Potter: Promise ill avoid ur sofa
Remus Lupin: sure thing.
- - -
James Potter to Lovely Lily: babe
James Potter: see u typing. u can pull that Read shit or whatever, but, like, I was sorting thru my stuff @ remus’s??? + I shldve done it yesterday….
James Potter: (dont tell him was here PLS bc hes pissed at me abt smth stupid)
James Potter: ANYWAY underneath the sumo suit – nice diversion btw, that super pissed me off – was a pack of brand new flosser attachments. + my flosser. u even rinsed it???
James Potter: like, Thanks
James Potter: coming home bc u obviously dnt Hate Me Eternally like u said before Lily Evans: i never said that! v frustrated w/ u but i don’t Hate u.
Lily Evans: listen. I know uve wanked (and cried??? oh yes. Pete told me.) urself out of all your friends’ good graces, so
Lily Evans: u can come back to the flat
Lily Evans: its, like, on a conditional basis
Lily Evans: we aren’t shagging
Lily Evans: u live on the couch
James Potter: we have a guest room???
Lily Evans: couch or bust
Lily Evans: you can use the guest bath tho
Lily Evans: and the kitchen…if you cook enough for me, too James Potter: cool
Lily Evans: cool
- - -
James Potter to M8S B4 D8S: fuck yessssssssssss
James Potter: have won!
James Potter: maybe technically it started as my fault? like 15%
James Potter: shes all but apologized!
James Potter: not formally ofc, but i know what she meant
James Potter: knew if I held out long enough, shed come around
James Potter: lupin…have been living in ur car btw….i owe u for crisps detailing
Remus Lupin: ew. Happy for u prongs. Gtfo of my car.
Peter Pettigrew: go home n wait for her to apologize
Sirius Black: wait before u apologize tho 2
James Potter: obvs (+ sorry abt ur velvet sofa Babe. ill pay to get it cleaned)
Remus Lupin: literally going to murder u all
mon.
James Potter to #1 MUM: I know ur asleep, but I made u middle of the night biscuits.
James Potter: they r UTTER shit but I did Try
James Potter: thing is…u might have been a little (tiny bit!!) right about some of the things you said. Maybe.
James Potter: anyway, am Home and will probably apologize to lily…soon
James Potter: and i love u and sorry i was so pissy abt no bacon
- - -
James Potter to Lovely Lily: evans
Lily Evans: potter.
Lily Evans: how did u sleep?
James Potter: ok. u?
Lily Evans: meh
James Potter: i know id mentally said i wldnt do this for another day, on Principle, but Mum guilted me into it even tho she is still sleeping. Except she has a Point. So heres the thing ….
James Potter: and also moony said…
James Potter: i kind of, like,
James Potter: its like this, lil…
James Potter: well
Lily Evans: jfc babe don’t strain yourself, yea?
James Potter: u know what im saying tho
Lily Evans: i do
Lily Evans: and same. (ish.))))
Lily Evans: it’s like this, james. i….
Lily Evans: fuck
Lily Evans: we rlly have to get better @ this.
Lily Evans: I KNOW it was an accident. and also, like, I sort of apparently overloaded the aquarium power cord in the first place w my hair dryer??? so…yeah
James Potter: fuck
Lily Evans: yeah….and I shouldn’t have, like, tackled u
James Potter: it wldve been hot if not for the rug burns
James Potter: and also i was insensitive w/ the laughing thing
Lily Evans: wait!! We hve to STOP
Lily Evans: can u not apologize yet. not fully to the point where I want to bone u??
James Potter: ….was kind of on a roll here tho
Lily Evans: yeah but we have to stop James Potter: y???
Lily Evans: the longer we fight..the better the make-up sex is going to be, yea? science
James Potter: tru…but id argue good make-up sex now is better than Great, theoretical make-up sex
Lily Evans: that WLD be true, but i, like, ordered something online… James Potter: something. or. like. Something.
Lily Evans: the Something u had bookmarked in ur private amazon wishlist hoping I’d find it
James Potter: stalker
James Potter: i love u….but i still think we should make up properly????
Lily Evans: no!!!! it’ll be here on Friday.
James Potter: i got u a new fish & everything!! named him eddie.
Lily Evans: nice!! but u know i hate fish. sold the aquarium to pay for the Something.
James Potter: well. Fuck.
Lily Evans: love you too
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Gabby liveblogs the new teen wolf ep
i mean technically it’s not liveblogging since I’m in australia and the delay obvs but here we go guys prepare for death:
-lololololololo the fuck they always gotta start it at the school cause they cant afford another set anymore
-whut scott is the assistant coach???!!!!!
-omg hayden left?????? why do they literally just remove all of their female characters with nonsense explanations??? hello kira???? havent seen her in a while. do females not exist in beacon hills?? apparently even being a love interest isn’t a good enough reason to keep the gals around anymore dear god.
-’you want my whistle? who gave you a whistle???’ omfg coach finstock is the best
-the fuck was that supposed to be a wolf on the field or a coyote??? or malia???? legit can’t even tell, oh nvmind scott and liam followed it into the woods found a pack of dead wolves with weird bugs that are crawling out of their eyes, naturally.
-malia heading out to paris and not wanting to help anyone with the problem is goals. but you know there are other ways to write female characters without making their only interest being climbing dick you know, we can have depth.
-liam and scott bonding, lol, they cute and feels, scotty all worried he’s losing control, making him repeat the werewolf mantra dear god this is dorky. giving it instrumental impressive music wont change that friends.
-lol, ‘i got ducktape’ this is me.
-oh goody more mental asylum stuff and weird frozen mummified rock shit, is this a throwback to pompeii or what?
-yeah touch the petrified ashy human corpse thing, that’s a great idea obvs like what is even happening right now.
-of course some dude exploded out of it, why are we even surprised people? oh that’s right we’re not. wait who the fuck is that? no wait, i can guess, it’s another mediocre white guy.
-’i like latin’ liam you dork, oh poor kid ‘this has been a really hard year for me’ ‘if you want to talk about your girlfriend guidance hours are posted’ damn girl that’s brutal.
-interesting that all the youngins are getting a senior registration and applying to colleges scenes talking about their futures at school but for the veteran characters we barely got a sentence about it.
-’you can see me right’ omg lol corey are you having some visibility issues.
-who wants to guess this new college guidance lady is probably not human- lol the music just changed and went all sinister like bruh we already got this, literally every new character we meet ends up being evil like cmon.
-who the fuck is this nolan kid- yet another mediocre white boy!!!!!- are they going for the olympics in white boys what is this shit- oh god she wants to talk about the animal attack on the field.
-lol him being like ‘that was no animal’ jesus fucking christ honestly am i in deja vu land are we just repeating tired drama from the first season now.
-liam how do you not know what a scarab is????? have you not seen the mummy what kind of kid are you??
-haha that girl screaming ‘why does this keep happening to our school’ when all the rats show up is the real shit.
-mediocre other mummy white boy appears in the classroom, stares a bit and tries to look interesting and then leaves. wow lifechanging moment.
-naturally liam and mason end up in the pipes again, because where else would teen wolf film things that happen.
-lydia making a bestiary yeah girl. Her mama isn’t being very smart saying no to that- who’s guess is it she dies almost immediately??? yeah girl leave that paperwork in mamas desk.
-scott trying out his weird electrocution kink with his mum, i am uncomfortable, but also teaching her the ways of electrocution is vaguely sweet.
-mama mccall gonna cover all the werewolf shit when scott is gone i love it. family bonding stuff yeaaaaaahh. oh shit she electrocuted him whilst hugging. family fun times.
-’i held the button, didn’t I?’ ‘you held the buttton’ BEST
-rat king ew is that what they said. gross. lol malia making liam smell the gross dead rat.
-REROUTED. malia is determined to get on a plane to get that french dick apparently.
-how the fuck did mummy white guy end up in the sheriff station???? do the deputies no longer exist?? wheres papa stilinski???
-parrish on the creepy white dude, all is well apparently.
-liam and mason bringing mama mccall a nice dead rat. bring her dinner you sick bastards.
-the fuck??? hallways in flames, parrish meeting another possible hellhound??? what is trying to be said here, fucked if i know.
-weird white guy has some kind of blood kink, sniffing all the injured people in the hospital because of reasons.
-idiot dudes punched liam in the face and he lost his shit. some mantra kid. use the werewolf force. freaky white mummy guy looming in the hallway behind him, cue demon suspense music while he chases for liam now in a closing elevator.
-ANDDDDDD the door closes before mummy white dude can get to him. shocker. i am on the edge of my seat with surprise and anguish obvs
-lydia showing up to get scott? i thought in the last ep stiles said hed be driving down to campus with lydia together???? does that mean she did and came back for some reason?? or stiles miraculously teleported there on his own. wow i love continuity. good thing im watching teen wolf huh.
-all the lights go out, because its lydia this is teen wolf and EVERYTHING MUST BE DARK AND HARD TO SEE AT ALL TIMES.
-phones ringing are always the most suspenseful thing to happen to me as well, love hearing that dialtone and having a wind machine suddenly blowing hair out of my face before appearing back in... wow you guessed it- the school!!!
-ohhhhhh spideyweb time. love it. gotta touched those creepy webs because otherwise what else could lydias banshee powers possibly do. lots of screaming. love that. was that gunfire? idk here this is stupid.
-ah yes, lydia miraculously finds the perfect bit of web to touch because of unexplainable reasons.’ YOU LET IT OUT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO RIDE WITH THE HUNT FOREVER’ k thanks im hanging up the web now byeeeeeee.
-how does nobody lock the fucking school doors at this point. parrish and mummy white dude just walked straight in.
-’what are you?’ ‘you know what i am im the same as you’ lololololololololl this is gonna be some weird hellhound pissing contest.
-’something you let out, something that needs to be stopped’ oh goody something new an differernt for us. so innovative.
-ah yes, the pissing contest begins. or fire contest i guess? idk?/ and oh hey the guidance counsellor lady was not as she seemed!!! wow, i never would have seen that coming in my life. thanks
-hey guys when you take away the fire, it’s just two shirtless dudes homoerotically wrestling with each other.
-oh well time for parrish to sleep it off,
-’if the wild hunt couldn’t keep you nothing can’ this is literally sounds like the fucked up adage ‘if i cant have you no one can’ and i am uncomfortable.
-oh boy white mummy guy isn’t after liam- i could never have guess that would happen.
-’it must be stopped nothing else matters’ wow, no, because here I was thinking just let the monster run free and kill people and pile up bodies and stuff. isnt that what teen wolf is about.
-OMG SCOTT GOT INTO THE JEEP AND FOUND A ‘BE GENTLE’ LETTER FROM STILES THIS IS THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE EP I SWEAR
-what the fuck lydia, popping your ass up in the middle of the headlights like some kind of ghost haunting, ‘we cantt leave’ bruh you need to chill.
-of course they need some scene with mason giving liam a pep talk like hes the most important character in this show, yeah id totally believe that. hey heres an idea instead of making it about comforting him for losing his girlfriend, how bout you dont write his girlfriend out, there i fixed it.
-malia’s flight no longer delayed!!! haha that squeal of excitement, omg she yelled ‘Oui Oui’ i gotchu girl leave this hellhole while you can.
-opp and heres scott and lydia out to ruin her fun. ofc.
-”no, no nonononono no, its just rats and wolves- and maybe a little bug problem’ see shes got the spirit. let her get french dick in peace. but also, how the fuck are they gonna explain her and scott hooking up in the future because idk what a fucking ride.
-goes to the window instead because her friends are trying to cockblock her- shes DETERMINED PPL U CANT STOP THE DICK.
-lol scott steps aside and then lydia moves into malias way MY GOD before scott pulls her back out, fuckin i cannot.
-two seconds of disappointed looks but cmon guys lets not pretend that malias an independent person who can make decisions outside of the group- aaaannnnnn shes back. wow. quelle surprise.
-but hey at least she hit scott in the face with her bag, get it girl.
-injured white mummy hellhound staggering through the woods then shift to lydia, malia and scott in the car ‘we opened a door to another world and something came out with us’ THIS IS LITERALLY THE PLOT FOR SEASON 3? 4? THE ONE WITH THE NOGITSUNE CMON PPL.
-of course guidance counsellor college lady is gonna kill white mummy hellhound boy. i support her.
-’what kind of price a big price?” ‘big’ wow, A+ dialogue here, someone give them an emmy for this shit.
-oh no guidance counsellor lady in trouble. bu t of course when push comes to shove, shoot white mummy hellhound boy in the head. but white guy actually died for once???? props. lets see how long hell stay dead before theres a reason that makes no sense to bring him back. cough cough theo.
-two seconds later cause apparently thats enough time for her to escape without the Gang sans stiles noticing. even though two of them have increased hearing and sense of smell?!!!??!! because it wouldnt be teen wolf otherwise.
-lydia ‘i thought you couldnt kill a hellhound’ WHEN WAS THAT EVER SAID??? I LITERALLY DO NOT REMEMBER THAT BEING STATED???
-scott, picking up the bullet casing which apparently killed an unkillable hellhound but hes just so good its not an issue. oh hey, is that a fleur de lis?
-’argent’ ooooooooohhh more suspense. dont think i can take it.
-’the sound of someone who’s never lifted a hand against a human being’ you can says shes a hunter lydia, her trunk was full of murdery shit we get it.
-also whats with teen wolfs repetitive need to make girls have an emotional distressing response to something before they go all ‘i kill you, ill kill everyone, ill kill myself idgaf’ and their expression goes all Tough Girl. like cmon. u realise girls dont all react the same way to the same things right?
-but hey props to guidance lady for not dying, though i mean she’s a girl and shes not white so lets assume her chances arent strong for future eps.
-lol all three of them sitting on scotts bed together. is it just me or should they all just make out, im just saying.
-’can we say we forgot?’ omg lydia PHRASING, u literally forgot stiles barely a few eps ago, dont crush him already.
-’we almost lost him last time’ i just love how the girls have all the emotional lines and scott just gets to sit there a nod like stiles hasnt been his best friend for years and years. but apparently connection on teen wolf means only if you want to fuck each other since scott magically forgot stiles without much effort and the entire season was about lydia getting him back even though they literally werent even dating and theyd given no indication shed even liked him when he was taken. but suddenly shes magically interested in him and the connection with scott, his best fucking friend for life somehow wasnt strong enough and I AM SALTY.
-malia- ’if this turns out to be somthing big and we don’t call him-’ ‘he would kill us’ hey look Scott got to say something accurate about his best friend, yay!
-’you guys didn’t hear his voice, he was really excited to be there’ aww scott, but seriously you asshole writers are still telling me their connection wasn’t enough for scott to bring him back? for shame.
-’lets just play the voicemail’ lol here comes the swelling emotional music.
-but seriously fuck you guys, heres stiles telling scott to leave beacon hills behind him and that its not his responsibility and not to worry about it and take stiles’ jeep (which we know he loves more than anything) and drive, and the instrumentals are getting really emotional showing stiles at the fbi and youre still trying to tell me that scott wouldnt have remembered his best friend without lydia???? fuck off.
-omg the nerd stopped at the fbi seal and straightened his tie i fucking love it.
-seriously whats with this music??? like stiles just won the damn noble peace prize or something just for showing up. its no wonder ppl think scott isnt the main when the writers give stiles all these storylines and attention, like this is not subtle ppl.
-stiles constantly interrupting the fbi dude in the middle of the presentation gives me life omg.
-’one recent manhunt had our crisis response team chasing down a bizarrely feral unsub in the wilderness of north carolina-”
-OFMG LOL ITS DEREK
-STILES SPAT WATER EVERYWHERE THIS IS GREAT
-are they literally trying to sell that this is current??? like that is clearly season 1 footage of derek what the fuck is happening right now. why cant he just have a vacation for fun, why do the writers have to ruin everything for him but nope, mass hunting derek time ofc,
-the way stiles put his hand over his mouth as if that would cover up the fact that he literally spat water everywhere. smooth stilinski.
-omg the presenter dude look down at the list of names seeing Mieczyslaw Stilinski and legit being like ‘uh... young man’ thats awesome.
-’just got a little excited’ honestly what the fuck teen wolf. you baiting sterek fans or what?
-stiles trying to find out what they’re after him for- ‘Murder’ but what type of murder. “Mass murder’
-suspenseful music AGAIN jesus fucking c h r i s t.
-OMG now they’re just zooming in on dereks tattoo, increasing the music. dude we fucking get it, thats derek hale and you, the writers, fucking hate him. chill.
#teen wolf season 6b#spoilers#semi live blogging#i have a lot of feelings apparently#this is one hundred per cent sass lets be real here#lololol what a laugh really#teen wolf spoilers#6b spoilers
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in response to this post
Last Saturday at 8:08 PM
kilnkin arent you wearing a stetson like right now? its been pretty practical so far lol
headsarolling yeah but goths have hats too pants and adequate ridin boots can be more of a challenge, dependin on the look ur goin for
kilnkin this is such a science
kilnkin what if youre doing goth activities? whatever the fuck those are
headsarolling while its true that the aesthetic impact of bog wadin is minimised when one doesnt have skirts to swirl in the water around them one must also consider: if the cowboy cannot ride a horse, is one really a cowboy?
kilnkin if they can lean against a fence? whistle? i think so!
kilnkin im here with you on bog wading though thank god. no one here understands me i swear but is there anything better?? thats rhetorical dont answer that there isnt
headsarolling all the looks with none of the heart? it just aint right
kilnkin have you found anything resembling wetland since you fucked off bc im already sick of all this sand shit ): right!!!
headsarolling no. i found a lot of rock though if thats more ur style and skulls
headsarolling so definitely more my style
kilnkin rocks are ok i guess i can chew them though thats always a hoot what about bugs mosquitos suck moire got a butterfly but i havent seen any :/
headsarolling damn mud man. i can swallow small ones but chewin them is pretty hard core
kilnkin what am i if not hardcore like literally and shit
headsarolling lmao i havent seen a lot of bugs cause of the storm?
headsarolling ill keep an eye out though mosquitos can fuck right off tho u got that right
kilnkin ugh that makes sense i mean they dont bite me or whatever but i cant bite them either its like the cruelest impasse
headsarolling this is a remote island tho right? shouldnt there be like giant crickets hoppin around?
kilnkin im gonna take your word for that one on account of never having visited a remote island before
headsarolling its hard to tell with the excellent wifi and timespace fuckery but im fairly certain
kilnkin the wifi is good isnt it?? like better than druantia i didnt even really notice that rofl how twenty first century of me
headsarolling yeah there was a bit, on the east coast where the wifi dropped and i had to use data but otherwise its been pretty solid
headsarolling we the millenials are killin remote island survival with our apple phones and avacados
kilnkin what the fuck kind of data plan are you on
headsarolling i havent paid a single dollar for credit in my entire life i have no idea
kilnkin nice?? ive gotta try and get that for ma im killing island survival via isolation and lots of napping fyi much more anchorite than millenial
headsarolling i think the plan came with this phone and i cant even remember who i stole it from so unfortunately i cant give much advice damn nice tactic tho? ive got the isolation thing down but i think my nappin needs some work maybe bein in less rocky areas would help...
kilnkin yeah im with everyone in the caves now too but i can at least ball my dress up for a pillow. the stetson is probably less than ideal ): are you coming back anytime soon? or pressing on further. finding some softer pastures
headsarolling i would never consider disfigurin my hat for the sake of comfort! i havent decided yet. right now im rather enjoyin the company of these skulls
kilnkin so ominous. so goth!!
headsarolling well ive no horses or bogs so ive gotta get my aesthetics from somewhere
kilnkin dont even talk to me if you havent put the hat on a skull yet
headsarolling ive also performed a rivitin recital of certain lines of hamlet it feels weird sayin it to someone elses head
kilnkin lolol
kilnkin i expect a reprisal when we start another variety hour!!
headsarolling oh for sure id hate to disappoint my expectant fans
kilnkin and id hate to sit through any more of walkers showboating without a reasonably entertaining chaser (:
headsarolling ill be sure to stagger my release a bit more next time ensure ive a got a decent followup
kilnkin yeah youve really gotta consider how the consumer consumes if you wanna be successful in this climate either that or flood the market you know x)
headsarolling always an option but i fear that may result in backlash from the bottle blonde bombshell
kilnkin um? even better??
kilnkin i never got to get her back for not letting me get her back before getting stuck here anyway
headsarolling what did u need to get her back for?
kilnkin um there was definitely something
headsarolling lmao thats the best of geeting back *gettin
kilnkin the purest form of revenge is when you 1) forget whats is for 2) take yourself down in the process otherwise are you even trying?
headsarolling when i die itll be for a cause ive forgotten usin a knife meant for someone else
headsarolling or some weird poetic shit like that
kilnkin id buy a tshirt with that on it probably or at least steal one off a clothesline
headsarolling its always been a dream of mine to have someone steal a tshirt with a quote of mine off a clothesline
kilnkin ive had that one. its one of the biggies you know flying teeth falling out academic nudity
headsarolling i havent had the flyin dream yet i hear its craic tho
kilnkin no idea what that means but sure
headsarolling a craci? *craic its a good time
kilnkin oh i thought it wouldve been a negative if that sounds like a craig you should come cliffdive tomorrow basically the same thing
headsarolling not a fan of the flyin dream? wait u guys were cliffdivin? how did polly not have a heart attack?
kilnkin its ok but when you bust out the irish its normally not so nice lolol he mightve you know. he was just a little glowing speck from up there he was probably clutching his pearls the whole time but he didnt say shit
headsarolling i hadnt notice well maybe ill come back and check it out freakin misha out is always a fun time
headsarolling a craic, if u will
kilnkin lol loving your idea of fun theres ample opportunity to freak people out here but i think fucking off by yourself is really the peak oh man you could probably make the jump without a chaperone too im already jealous and you havent done it yet ):
headsarolling no one seem bothered by my disappearance so far. a very disappointin reaction tbh
headsarolling u tellin me u got a chaperone?
kilnkin its like you hopped out your bedroom window shimmied down the drainpipe and your old lady didnt even notice!! an empty rebellion indeed yeah wolff had to come with n give me a tow back to shore sucked ass but less effort on my part the better really XD
headsarolling one of the downfalls of being hardcore i suppose?
kilnkin unfortunately yes its a tough life but someones gotta do it :| thats my stuff upper lip soldiering on emoticon (:
headsarolling we appreciate ur sacrifice
kilnkin i appreciate your appreciation
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Day 83, 84
Didnt post for awhile cause I needed to get some thoughts straight in my head. Idk if i could get them totally straight and i dont even know whether i will ever be able to get them to but its okay i think. I mean it just comes with the baggage of life and inshaAllah I will deal with it along the way whenever it is in action.
So theres been many thoughts coming in my head but then all of it can be connected and related to each other so its just more like one big massive ball of thoughts. I will try to mention whatever comes in my head for now. But hmppphhhh where do i start *wonders*
Okay so i have 2 start points, ill pick the one which is currently still a thought cause the other one is kind of resolved :3
So this is about this conversation i had with him a year ago, exactly around this time last year. I will not talk about our conversation on the internet :3 but just what it was about so that I can get to what it is in my head
Well we werent really going through a good phase back then and once he told me something about ‘love’ & ‘duty’. Like there are things you do out of love, and there are things which are ‘duty’ but you do not love doing them but have to anyways.
The thing is, it is kind of hard for me to understand the relation between ‘love & duty’. To be honest, i did get what he meant back then, and things were different back then (meaning, we were going out) & if not so much, but you could put what he said into context at least a little.
But now, I just dont understand the connection, nor can i appreciate the difference between these two terms. When i say i dont understand the connection - i mean to say i dont understand it, but i believe they are more related and similar than they are different.
When you love someone, and they mean the world to you, and you put them before yourself. You can do anything for them, to protect them, to make sure they are ok. Their happiness matters to you so much. It is so important for you - because you love them unconditionally. and also because when they are not happy, you are not happy either. So you want the best of the best for them, for their happiness,
“and in turn - for yourself too”
“and in turn - for yourself too” ---> this is why I dont understand this difference. You see when you love someone and you want all of that, you always wish you could do something for them. and you actually do everything “possible for you to do” for them. And when you cant, it kills you and you ‘wish’ theres something you couldve done. Now all these wishes, all these wanting to do something, all these prayers, all these urge, these pain - these are just a package. They come along when you fall in love. And they are there.
Now in other words ^ I think i can simply say - “you feel like its your duty to take care of them, to do whatever you can for them”
Now what is “duty”? Idk what it means front he dictionary point of view, but for me it responsibility - and responsibilities/ duties - i think i can come up with 2 types right now - one that is enforced upon you (you dont like doing, maybe) BUT then there is another one - One that you enforce upon Your. Own. Self. because of your affection for someone/ something. Now i really want to point out that there is no “pressure” here in the second one. You are doing it to yourself, technically you can snap out of it but you actually can not. YOU wont let yourself do that. YOU will bound yourself to care, to love, to worry, to act out - you believe its your responsibility.
AND there is nothing bad in it. In fact i think it is amazing!
Why i am pointing this out is that - this is the only way i seem to appreciate the connection between ‘love and duty’/ love vs responsibilities - I think they are are the same. atleast for ME, they are the same. So i have been trying to look deeply into it, and find out something that ive been missing out to appreciate the difference but every single attempt to do so leads me to this same concept which i just mentioned. and it is more like something being solved even before i sat down to figure it out. it all seems so simple.
now how this plays in my daily life right now is how i always wish i could do something for him. now idk much about him obviously cause we dont communicate. but still wondering if he is okay - and worrying about him, and thinking of him - i dont need to make myself do that cause its there by default - and on top of that this tiny feeling of guilt engraved at the bottom of my heart because im aware that there is only so little or lets say nothing much at all i can do ----- that, i believe is the duty/ responsibility i was talking about. something i brought onto myself and i dont mind it at all. but this is the very same reason why i dont get the difference between love and duty at all. i dont think you have to give someone your word in order to have a responsibility towards them. I believe if you love someone, you automatically feel like its your duty to take care of them.
At least thats how it is for me!
so yeah, theres that. i always feel this way. everyday. I really pray that day comes soon where i can do way more than just sit and worry about him, inshaAllah
Now thats that! like i said all the thoughts are related. So now ill move onto the “fear”. Now about the fear. well
misunderstanding and misinterpretations
misunderstanding and misinterpretations - these are always there. always. even when people ‘communicate’ they indeed fail to communicate well. Now just imagine how ‘cool’ it gets when you dont communicate - not so cool
I mean it scares me - is something giving the wrong? anything i do, or anything i say - is it something he’d like? does it seem not right? i mean i have no intentions of hurting him or doing anything negative but it is only human nature to make assumptions - or to misinterpret something - or to misunderstand - and it is not anyones fault - because although there may be a million reasons why one could get a wrong message - one of the main ones are fear once again or being worried, or caring.
So yeah, theres always this fear at the back of my head, trying not to be irrational. and when things are bugging me, trying to shut up, stay shuttttttt instead of acting out. because, this moment will pass, but something i express just out of current volatile mood could get to him and do i ever want that? nooo
^ so that is one of the reasons why i dont always blog. and also the same reason for this weekend drama!
Okay so this is the other stuff i could start my post with. this is fun loll. so i still am not sure whats up but this is my solved case lol - as in what i figured out myself and think is actually what happened. so i woke up on friday and i saw one of his tweets. it seemed to me like it was the time when someone last checked into some social media. UH WELL. and yeah thats it :) that is what got in to my head. a lot of things at once actually. i guess ill just point a few -
1- someone lucky enough to get that much attention from him that hed tweet something like that. i mean its definitely not me, cause all i could think of was whatsapp and well i have the time thingy hidden there AND ALSO, honestly i never had any real conversation, like a real one where im instantly replying to someone and shit with anyone i think after we stopped talking - basically i cant communicate well with people - i feel like having a normal conversation where i sit with my phone and talk to someone and actually bother to give them instant replies is too much of commitment & no i cant put that much effort for anyone ------ so yeah, that kind of made it clearer that obviously its not me, i dont even go to whatsapp! Bleeeeeh - well yeah later i just think i figured its some other app - idk - or maybe there just is a special new person :)
2- It just started to seem really really disturbing - how the tweet bothered me so much. I mean i have no right to get bothered. Like what am I? I mean we’re definitely not together right now. And we dont talk. And even if we were together just saying, i definitely dont want to be a creepy chic who has a problem with things like these. like, woah hold your brakes. who are you to feel bothered by stuff like these :)
3- And then i realised that i really need to take a BIG BIG step backwards - like Breathe, honey. chill. dont let every little thing get to you. EXPAND your mind, think bigger. i mean im not thirteen anymore and this is not a teen fiction novel where teenage girls get jealous over stuff, and everything bothers them, and blabla shit. Ugh hindi movies and tv series are the same too lool. ---- Wel anyways long story short - i was just - “Training my mind and soul to just let go and think bigger”. I shouldn’t be getting bothered by things like this in his life, thats not my place right now i think!
SO YES THATS IT - UH i finally got to jot down this stuff! Such a relieffff ~
So lets re-cap :3
~ Aha, so turns out im basically always thinking about him, theres guilt wishing i could do something, theres fear hoping i dont screw up in ways im too stupid to even realize, and theres me being a little girl, but one badly in love! ~
Ok bye :)
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monoma:
@s-inasa hey. it's Monoma
Inasa:
Oh hello!! How are you doing Monoma?
monoma:
I'm alright. long day haha
Thanks again for all this
Inasa:
Hey relax! I should be the one thanking you
Its been some...lonely, weird recovery weeks
monoma:
Oh...? sorry to hear that
I get that though
it's a weird situation
Inasa:
I still don't get it, to this day, what the fuck happened.
I knew I was gonna be rejected.
But the girl's quirk was brutal anyway.
monoma:
... yeah.
I can clear it up for you a little bit right now, if you'd like.
I was hit by it too (I don't know if you remember hearing that at the hospital) so I've got... experience with it.
Inasa:
That so? I don't remember much of the waiting room. The pain meds made me sluggish.
Tell me about your experience!
monoma:
Ah
Now? ... ok
... I feel like with every person it's just really different, I guess....
and, I guess, I was having a really rough time with my emotions, so. they grew really slowly at first. I thought they were kind of just a rash at first? and then some sort of weird welts, I dunno.
they were really hard to take out, too... really hard. kind of impossible tbh...
Inasa:
Mine were hard too. It hurt like...ever had to take blood from the back of your hand? That hurts a lot.
But they didn't grow slowly
They just. Sprouted everywhere
And fast
That bug girl really didn't want to help me at first. I was terrified.
monoma:
At least she helped you. I had to find out from someone else what was even happening
it is scary though.
Inasa:
I still have nightmares of...dull, bored looking fly eyes and flowers coming out of my chest like nails.
monoma:
hah....
I get nightmares too.
Inasa:
I remember...after the surgery
Every time I tried eating something I'd throw up.
monoma:
Oh wow
Inasa:
Like their roots were still there
Yeah. But ! I'm okay now right!? Thats what matters in the end!
monoma:
... that's really scary
... idk
I had the surgery too, but I think they fucked up somehow because it's not... completely gone...
I haven't told anyone that yet though so. Don't go blurting that around. I'm gonna get it handled.
And I'm not trying to scare you in saying that, I'm just... mentioning.
Um. How do you feel? .. Emotionally?
Taking them out is supposed to... affect you... and I've noticed that, to some extent, but, like I said, it's not completely gone for me...
Inasa:
They came back?? Oh no...
Um. In what sense?
In towards...towards Todoroki?
monoma:
... is that who the flowers were reacting to... ah.
Yes
ah. Sort of the same way, really slowly. I had a lot of chest pains for a while and I guess I just didn't connect it to what had happened... And I don't think my surgery was nearly as extensive/invasive as yours.
............................. I guess the only difference is maybe they're more internal now than before... I didn't really think about it?
Kind of trying not to.
Inasa:
You should get that removed, Monoma.
Before they grow violent like mine did.
monoma:
Yeah. I know that.
Like I said, I'm handling it.
Anyway, you and Todoroki.
Inasa:
...yes?
monoma:
...
I mean, what's that feel like? Do you feel better? Or... anything, really? Towards him?
Inasa:
...have you ever felt hollow?
Like there's a void inside your chest?
That's how I feel about him now... its weird.
And I don't like it.
I like..him. as a friend.
Feeling nothing is disturbing.
monoma:
Ah. Just like that?
Just... instantly, huh?
Interesting.
Inasa:
It's just.
I knew he was going to reject me.
He likes a girl after all, hah. He's dating that girl.
So even before I heard it from him I had been preparing myself for it.
Besides, I'm the kind of guy who instantly forgives people?
That might have helped.
monoma:
Would it have though
I think, if there's anything to learn from this mess, it's that you can't just logic emotions away like that...
Doesn't matter if you were prepared. It was still gonna hurt.
Inasa:
You're right...
monoma:
... Forgiveness is an interesting thing to bring up right now
Inasa:
Why?
monoma:
Because... in this case, who would you have been trying to forgive? Todoroki?
... Maybe that's an odd question.
Inasa:
Yeah?
Anyone would get mad at being rejected.
And uh. Especially going through a traumatic experience.
But I knew it wasnt on him.... just on me.
So whatever resentment I could be having I forgave and tried to move on.
monoma:
I see...
Inasa:
Yeah. That's where I'm at today!
...You know Monoma.
monoma:
Hm
?
Inasa:
My senpai, Shishikura. He tried to stop us from chatting.
I dont get it.
You're nice.
monoma:
Ah. Yes, he approached me too about that.
Haha
Thank you
Inasa:
Dont thank me! Its just what it is
I don't understand.
monoma:
I'm thanking you because I haven't heard that in a while.
There's.. been a lot of rumors going on about me, that's all.
He might have heard them.
I don't know what kind of things he said to you...
... I am glad you disregarded them though. At least, enough for us to text like this.
Inasa:
Rumors suck.
monoma:
Yep haha
Inasa:
He said some mean stuff
And that you want to sleep with me.
monoma:
oh goddamnit
Inasa:
But uh. If that's the case I haven't realized yet
monoma:
that wasn't my intention. in this conversation. at all.
again, rumors. of my apparent harlotry.
eveyrone here thinks i'm a slut now and i guess that's spread over to your school too, which is just great.
Inasa:
Oh. Why is that??
monoma:
probably because i act like one.
Inasa:
Well.
That's mean.
You don't act like one at least towards me
monoma:
i'm mean to myself. bad habit
Inasa:
Besides what's wrong with sex?
monoma:
... nothing..
Inasa:
Yeah!
I guess people are just mean. They used to be mean about my height, now they're mean because I got the license late and that i got it as a first year...
monoma:
Well that's just ridiculous
And that's just honestly jealousy
Like, I've heard about you and I've heard about the things you can do. They just hate that you can do them all and you can't
Inasa:
Thank you!
And I apologize for my senpai's behavior!
I'm sure he doesn't really mean it, whatever he's thinking of...
monoma:
I think he does. But I'll try not to be too bothered about it
like I said, it wasn't my intention for the conversation.
... and even if it was, it wouldn't really be his business anyway.
no offense to him. of course
I just really didn't appreciate how he went about all this.
Inasa:
He's a smart guy but. Sometimes he lets his emotions get the better of him.
I remember how scary he looked when he learned that I got rejected. Almost like he wanted to kill Todoroki.
He's protective.
monoma:
I see
Well, he has no reason to be. We're obviously getting along...
Hopefully that kind of thing won't continue...
Inasa:
I hope so too!
About your flowers. Your feelings for whoever they were ...
Are they there?
monoma:
What do you mean, there?
... I still feel for him, if that's what you're talking about
Inasa:
Yeah that.
Ah.
monoma:
I suppose it's a little different now.
I don't...
I try not to think about it too much.
... I really don't like them. The flowers.
Or... feeling, I guess.
Trying to ignore them is what got it so bad last time, so I'm sort of trying to embrace them now...
Inasa:
Why dont you like the feeling? Are you scared?
If so, i get that. Im scared too of having a small crush.
monoma:
... yeah
it's.. really complicated? a little...
Inasa:
Well
If you want someone non judgemental to hear
I'm here! :-)
monoma:
Err.. maybe a little. I don't wanna take up too much of your time,,,
Inasa:
Its fine!
monoma:
ok...
........... that bug bitch kind of hit a bunch of us with her quirk, so it kind of....
It's making everything weird
Inasa:
Oh...
Weird how
monoma:
Well
Everyone can look at your flowers and just make assumptions, right? Based on the color or what's associated with them
And having your own out in the open is bad enough...
... but then you see others, with theirs, and...
I dunno.
I don't like it.
Inasa:
You care about these people. Thats normal!
monoma:
,,,
I guess,,
Inasa:
It'd kill me to see people I like in pain.
monoma:
yeah...
I don't like seeing that on people. like, if I say something, and suddenly, more of those flowers pop up...
Especially knowing what they can do...
And I guess I can't help but associate those feelings with the flowers. I know without the quirk they're not nearly as dangerous... but aren't they?
eh.
Inasa:
I don't know a lot, honestly.
monoma:
mm.
Inasa:
But I understand you
monoma:
oh
... cool
Inasa:
:-)
monoma:
hahaha
:)...
Inasa:
Anytime you need someone to talk to about this
Or anything else
You can talk to me!
monoma:
haha
thanks
You're really friendly lol. it's a nice change
Inasa:
I get the overfriendliness comment a lot!
This time its appreciative so its good
monoma:
I didn't say overfriendly haha it's the perfect amount, I guess
Glad you appreciate it though :P
Inasa:
😄
monoma:
hehe
... obviously the same to you though
especially since you're still in recovery... it doesn't have to be as lonely anymore, maybe
Inasa:
Hey thank you! I talk to my senpai a lot in this recovery period. Someone else would be fun!
monoma:
Haha... fun is definitely one word for it
Inasa:
How would you put it?
monoma:
Ah.... idk,,,,,
It's....exciting, I guess
It's also just a depressing topic haha, so...
Inasa:
It is.
I don't like to remember how it basically took a part of me away
monoma:
... It basically did. Yeah.
It sucks...
Inasa:
...are you scared of loving?
After what happened?
monoma:
Ah... in what way are you thinking?
Because I'm scared of a lot.
I kind of would have been fine with just...losing the capacity for love after this. Because it was all so much. But... I guess... it kind of made me ready for the scarier aspects of it
Or maybe I just like the fear?
... I've been told I'm a bit of a masochist, haha...
Inasa:
In the way. In the way I have a small crush but I'm terrified to act upon it
monoma:
Oh.....
Inasa:
I wouldn't like to lose the ability to love. Love moves us you know? Hot blood on the veins and passion!!
But its. Too early
I mean I had the crush before, just a bit.
monoma:
"Hot blood" hahaha
Take your time, then...?
You have the time, at least...
You don't have to rush into it. You're still getting over Todoroki, technically.... and it'd be better for both of you
Inasa:
You dont have time though
monoma:
...
Inasa:
Your flowers.
monoma:
... are being handled
Inasa:
But dont you like someone? The someone they're for?
monoma:
Yes...
Inasa:
...do they not like you?
Like Todoroki doesn't like me?
monoma:
Um. ... no, I think they like me. Maybe.
I mean, not maybe,, they do. They've...mentioned it, I mean,,
Inasa:
W H A T ??????
monoma:
Wh-what,
Inasa:
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
THEN WHAT THE
WHAT ARE YOU DOING ??
monoma:
,,,
Inasa:
YOU GOTTA FIX THIS BY TELLING THEM!
monoma:
but im scared,,
Inasa:
You have no idea what I wouldn't give to not have had the surgery!
You have no idea what I would have sacrificed for him to love me back!
You have your chance right in front of you!
monoma:
,,,,it's more complicated than that,,
he already left me once, idk if I can,,
I mean, I do plan on,,,
I was just, waiting, ah, until the time was right...??
Inasa:
You're.
You saw me. That day.
What did i look like ?
I dont know exactly. I just had my point of view.
monoma:
Uh
You're what I have the most nightmares about. Haha
You just... looked like you were in agony, sort've... it was like monstrous
Inasa:
That's. That's because he didn't love me.
You say your guy does!
monoma:
...a little
Inasa:
A little is better than nothing!
Even if its corresponded by a LITTLE you won't have to go through what i did!
monoma:
Okay...
sorry
I know I'm stupid about this...
Inasa:
You're scared.
Its okay to be scared
BUT
If you need a hand to hold through this I'm here!
You saw what I have been through
I don't want that...demonic quirk affecting anyone else
monoma:
Yeah ... me neither...
Inasa:
...tell the guy.
monoma:
Okay...
Inasa:
No, really tell him
You're nice, Monoma!
You dont deserve surgery nor what I went through
Avoid heartbreak.
monoma:
Okay. Okay. I'll try to.
... there's reasons why I haven't, but I know those are excuses, so I'll. really try. okay.
sorry
Inasa:
If you need me to help, I will!
In any way I can!
monoma:
... thanks.
Thank you.
um, yeah... I'll let you know then
Inasa:
Okay!
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Its long, I'm sorry. You dont have to read if you dont want, I just needed to talk and possible advice.
I can’t make this anon but please dont post it. I’m really glad I found an advice blog. I feel like I can’t talk to anyone anymore. Its just the same shit everyday with me and I know its getting old. I just haven’t tried to talk to anyone in a few years and I feel like I’m getting bad again. I needed to talk to someone but I promise I won’t bug you all the time. You dont even have to respond but I had to get it out and hopefully you might have a little support. I’ve been with my bf for almost 6 years. I know the obvious answer to what I’m about to say but its harder then it seems to leave someone you’ve spent so much time with. It started out amazing or seemed amazing like any new relationships do. He hasn’t done anything for me in the entire relationship. He waits for me to come on weekends so he can use my car and spend my money. I’m 25 btw and he’s 28. He does have his own problems and I’ve respected that. Hes bi polar and has bad anxiety and depression. Since I’ve been with him, I’ve now gone through bad depression and have anxiety. I’ve worked hard our entire relationship and all he does is ask for the money and never says thank you. Just expects it. He never feels bad or tells me he feels bad about not working to help or anything. We have gone through a lot together and one pretty traumatic experience. I do love him with all my heart. I just dont think I’m in love with him anymore. I dont want to lose him or be without him but I really dont know why. When I stay with him on the weekends, he barely even looks at me. He’s on his phone all the time. I really do know that at least when im there, he isn’t talking to girls. He’s just obsessed with football and is in a lot of different chat groups and leagues and shit like that. I can’t speak for what he does when I’m not there but I know he doesn’t when I’m there and I’m like 80% sure he’s not cheating on me. It still really hurts that I love him so much and he really doesn’t care if I’m there at all as long as I bring the money and car every weekend. We have sex about once every 3 months and even then it lasts like 5 mins and it wasn’t intimate. And yes he does take care of himself during the 3 month off time. I think what is making me need to talk so bad today is something that happened yesterday. Yesterday was Easter and I was getting ready for my family gathering and I had food in the oven and I was getting dressed and had about 15mins before I needed to leave. He decided he wanted to have sex randomly and I told him I wanted to wait until later when we didnt have to rush and I could enjoy it. We haven’t had sex since Feb and I wanted to be able to enjoy it. He kept saying we wouldn’t rush and it would be good. I kept telling him to wait until later and that I didnt have time but he kept trying to turn me around until finally I just gave up and let him do it. it was kinda like I just knew he wouldn’t stop but also I didn’t want him to get mad if I really didnt let him. So after a few times of pushing him away I just let him do it. I feel so stupid sometimes. I always feel used, whether it be sex or money or transportation. I dont know if he truly loves me or if he really does just take advantage of me. I feel like he does love me but doesn’t realize how much he is taking advantage of me. Every time I confront him, he will somehow turn it around and make me feel stupid for thinking it or point out how he fixes my food or something stupid. “Or how at least he isn’t cheating on me, could be a lot worse” and somehow I lose all my words and just can’t fight back. I still know its not right but he always makes me feel bad for thinking it. We got a dog together 2 years ago. she stays with him all the time and I go on weekends. You know how dogs (especially chihuahuas) pick their person that they seem to go to and love most? She picked me. Every time I go there, she doesn’t leave my lap, she follows me everywhere. I love that dog more then anything. And thats my problem. Its so stupid. How can I leave him and more then likely never see her again? How can I do that to her? She’s not going to understand why I’m not coming anymore. What happened to me? I feel like I am completely stuck. I know how to get out but I feel like it will kill me if I try. But its killing me to stay. Killing me slowly but still hurts so much every day. I’ve lost the person I was before I met him. I built another person after depression (which never truly goes away) and now I’m losing that person. I can’t be with him anymore but I dont think I can be without him. I sound pathetic, I know.
Thank you for being here so I could write that. like I said, you dont have to answer or anything but it would be nice. itd just be nice to get a different kind of answer or advice on how to make it all easier. Or advice on an easier way out or how to cushion the fall. Idk. Just something other then “girl, leave him… You can get another dog”. thats not an answer to me.
Thank you again!
Jennie: This is what you’ve told me about this relationship:
He expects your car and money from you and isn’t grateful for it.
He doesn’t say thank you when you do things for him.
He barely looks at you when you’re together.
He cares more about talking about football online than he does about talking to his girlfriend.
You say that you’re 80% sure he isn’t cheating on you, as though it’s okay or healthy to be 20% unsure.
You’re not in love with him any more.
He’s raped you. If someone pressures you and coerces you into having sex, until you ‘give up and let them do it’, that is rape. If you have sex with someone because you’re worried that they’ll get mad if you don’t, that is rape.
It’s clear that this is an unhealthy situation for you to be in. This guy clearly doesn’t care about you. He cares about himself, and he sees you as a way to get things that he wants. That might hurt, and it might be difficult to accept, because you’ve invested so much time and energy into this relationship, and you care about him. But this isn’t going to get any better. He’s not going to suddenly, magically turn around and say “actually, I’m going to start treating my girlfriend with respect”. If you care about your safety, your health and your future, then you need to end this relationship.
Tell someone you trust about what’s going on (a friend, or a family member), and ask for their support in helping you to leave him. If you’re worried about how he might react, break up in a public place, with witnesses, or even over the phone if you have to.
Is it possible for you to get custody of the dog? That might be something worth fighting for, if it’s the only thing keeping you tied to him. But if he treats her well, then you may have to let her go. That is a tough situation to be in, but you need to put your own safety above everything else. It’s not a good choice to have to make, but the best choice you can make is to stay away from the man who sexually assaulted you.
For more information, advice and support, I recommend you contact RAINN or the National Domestic Violence hotline in the US, or Rape Crisis UK or Women’s Aid in the UK.
#advice#ask me anything#rape#unhealthy relationships#dog#relationships#advice blog#advice column#askjennie
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