#im not saying cannibalism is cool and i have not and probably will never eat human flesh | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

delicrieux · 4 years ago

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☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 23: PRETTY BOY

emotions run wild when everyone is drunk and hardly coherent. quackity is always loud, but tonight is a full on assault on the senses (the ears, in particular). bretman simps for corpse too much for your liking. rae is happy for once. there’s a confession of love somewhere in there. sister james makes a very good impostor, but that’s old news, the real question is who gave you a knife? a new persona emerges that leaves the roaches quivering in their boots.

─── corpse husband x reader, a lil bit of everyone x reader (because she’s a queen) ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: a lil over 7k.

author’s note: it’s the way i can’t follow a fucking calendar for me. sorry guys, i swear to god i thought i had one more day before thursday . the idiot award goes to me and i accept it with pride. anyway, i was excited to write this for a while! quackity is in mexico, that’s why he drinks, too. my fic, my rules, he’s too funny not to include. im also working on an extra w dream and mr quack so look forward to that, too! hopefully u like this part ily xx and as always lmk wat u think!!

ultimate masterlist. ҉ myso masterlist ҉ previous. ҉ next.

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The outfit for today was picked with care and consideration. Hot, as always- you had forgotten your roots, your hoodie and sweats lay hidden in the bottom of your drawer never to be worn on stream again. You’ve changed. Clout really does that to people. Some viewers, naturally, find your hotness near insulting: how dare you rub your beauty in their faces, and so unabashedly, too?! If only you had a twinge of self-awareness, perhaps you would tone it down. But you don’t, and whether that’s by choice or not is the mystery the whole internet tries to solve (ARMY has been working diligently, and you admire their effort, though in the end their tireless labor brings no tangible results).

You went from hot to hotter. In all truth, the fires eating away at California can be blamed on you. You carry this burden in stride, in your platform overpriced shoes some girl scammed you on Depop with, in your fishnets, in your skirt, in your corset, in your rings and necklaces and chains. You woke up today and chose violence. Decided your existence will be a plague to the rest of the populace, and meant it (that, maybe, you took inspiration from a certain faceless Youtuber that so happens to be your boyfriend or whatever). You feel powerful. Like you could step on the world and the world would let you. You decide that it’s the way it should always be.

The smile on your lips informs of nothing good to your quaint, small audience of 40k. You change the lighting in your room from the soft cherry blossom pink to menacing violet. As fitting for a villain.

Perhaps California’s hellish sun has finally purged you of your bubbly, docile nature (arguably, you had never possessed it to begin with); perhaps it’s the forth mimosa you’re mixing as people slowly trickle into the lobby. Who knows?! Not you, definitely. What do all of those boring dead white European philosophers say? Embrace the unknown? Cheers, you’ll drink to that.

In stark contrast to your appearance, your room is a fucking mess. A war-zone of epic anime scale. Everything is scattered, well, everywhere. A perfect representation on what’s going on in your mind, always. You don’t like how people focus on your surroundings-- you’re the main attraction, hello? Are you not enough to sustain them? Must they beg for more?! Totally ungrateful. You shake your head in disappointment, as if a mother scolding her children.

noooooo! mom pls forgive me i will never ask abt anything ever again T_T

yall looking at the room? lol couldnt be me

feels like im five and my mum just told me i cant eat a pretty rock i found on the pavement:(

You can’t contain your sly grin. Eyes twinkle with a purplish hue, appearing all the more menacing. You tricked them once again, oh how absolutely evil of you. In your blind delight you accidentally spill champagne on your lap.

“-Oop, fuck.” You snort.

why does she sound like goofy

The scandalous drunk Among Us stream is about to start. You had been eerily silent through the greetings, and those that chose to approach you were met with a cold shoulder and minimal replies. All on purpose, of course. You wish to plant a seed of unease within them, and so far, it’s working. There are questions unanswered, jokes unsaid, Quackity unteased. It breaks your heart, but it must be done. You look into the camera, all vulnerable and devout, as if to say: I’m doing this for you, all for you.

pack it up yandere simulator

idk whats going on but i think im into it?

villain arc villain arc villain aRC VILLAIN ARC

“Hey, guys,” Corpse’s voices rings in your headphones, and not a blink later his astronaut appears in the lobby in a cloud of smoke, “Hi, Y/n.”

More sharp, excited hellos follow after. You merely hum, though give no further reply. As Corpse strays to your side, Charlie steps in in front of him, “BDA access only. You have a permit, bitch?”

“Y/n is being quiet-she’s being quiet, guys!” Quackity helpfully informs, as if the rest failed to notice your cryptic silence, “Don’t be sad Corpse, man, Corpse don’t be-she didn’t say shit to me either.”

“Y/n has decided to not waste her breath on the SDS.” Charlie voices, “And you know what? I actually agree with her for once.”

“SD-what now?” Dream questions.

“The Small Dick Society.” Charlie explains, noting Dream’s whine of protest, “Oh no, don’t give me that shit, weren’t you bitching about not being invited and not belonging to exclusive clubs? Congratulations, you’re finally part of one.”

“Wait!” Quackity interjects, “Am I part of it too?”

“Guess, Sherlock.”

“I’ll drink to that.” Corpse says. You nod to your audience, like he just spoke the God honest truth, and follow in his example. Your tentative sip unexpectedly turns into a greedy gulp, but you’re not complaining. The only slightly coherent thought that rings in your mind is drink tasty.

“Ignore them,” Rae chimes, “Y/n’s probably plotting something and using Charlie as a cover up.”

“I’d never.” The words slip past your lips before you can stop them.

“Well you sure are very quick to deny it.” You can hear her smirking, can hear the proud lilt in her voice, like she caught onto your silly little scheme, like she has you all figured out. Your eyes narrow dangerously. The night behind your window pools dark, with far away city lights glimmering before they, too, seem to dim.

Your roommate is back on your shitlist. How her name was missed among the rest.

“I’m defending my honor.” You yelp, the playfulness back in your voice along with your sunny smile, “I can’t have my wifey slandering me online. At least do it in private, geez.”

If Rae’s such a good detective, you’ll give her a good chase. Perhaps you’ve been laying it on too thick. Made her too suspicious. She can’t out you yet--not when your plans are so grand, so fun. It would be a waste.

“Why weren’t you saying anything then?” Quackity questions.

“Do I need a reason not wanting to talk to you?” You shoot back. Your friends laugh and he tries to shriek something past their cackle. You lean back into your chair, the tension from Rae’s confrontation finally easing. You wink at the camera and bring a finger to your lips. The roaches swear to secrecy, elated by your wickedness. As appropriate, they spam devil emojis and various renditions of evil hohohos and hehehes. The apple truly does not fall far from the tree. You had raised them well. You raise your glass in solidarity. A few donations fall into your pocket, easily summed up as: make them suffer.

Muting the discord call, you give a single response, “Oh, I intend to.”

i hope this doesn’t awaken something in me

^already too late for me bro

As caught up in wreaking havoc among your viewers as you are, you miss Sykkuno’s entrance, though from what you can tell, Charlie gave a stern warning to back the fuck off to him, too. He’s playing into your plan so beautifully. Truly, you couldn’t do this without him. Back to stalking the chat you go.

Your eyes flicker to the game upon Bretman’s signature drawl and “Hi, daddy.”. You have no time to get offended at Corpse’s sweet “Hi, honey” back, because the next person to join the discord call and the lobby leaves you speechless. You knew, of course, you had been informed of the line-up, but still, you had never expected yourself to be so close to Jomes Chorles himself. You make a weird gesture with your hands, half wave half excited wiggle, as if you’re telling the audience to calm down, when, in fact, it is you that needs calming.

He goes saying his hello’s like doing a public service, name by name, before, lastly, uttering, “Hi, Miss Y/n. Loooove the vids.”

He’s a roach in disguise, who could’ve known?! Your audience is so diverse and unexpected, gosh, you’d shed a tear if the mascara wasn’t so expensive.

“Hi!” You reply with a grin, and it’s genuine this time, a glimmer of your old self, “Hi, I love your videos, too. It’s like, really cool to finally meet you.”

“Oh my God, you too!” Is his enthusiastic reply, “Okay, the energy in the studio today? Love it.”

“Is this all of us?” Quackity asks.

“Sadly.” James says with a note of disappointment.

“HEY!”

“Okay, guys!” Ash chimes, “Let’s do this! Proximity Among Us, round one, go go go!”

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Luck does not shine upon you during the first round- you are stuck as Crew Mate, your life cut short by Bretman who had the audacity to bite your head off. You’re positive Ke$ha wrote her hit single Cannibal about him, and if she didn’t, she definitely had a That’s So Raven moment and predicted it. It’s also insanely suspicious as after you are eliminated he sticks real close to Corpse, feigning innocence (and this is a controversial opinion you do not endorse) better than even you. It wounds your pride, having been picked off so casually, so quickly, and now stuck a ghost you roam the halls of the dying spaceship, lost, confused, heartbroken.

Charlie runs past you, not once even glancing in your direction. “Brother...” You mutter sadly, “Do you not see me here? Do you not feel... the loss of your twin’s heartbeat...?" Damn, these mimosas really are making you emotional. You sniffle and take a sip to calm the storm within you. No rage, just sadness. You are still processing your own tragic demise.

Suddenly, a meeting is called. There’s a horrible red X on your astronaut. You are the only one dead so far, and of course the rest won’t vote out the fucker. How bitterly you sit! With your arms crossed over your chest and your glare sharp enough to cut through glass. Fuck the sad shit, now you’re just angry. At the very least, the second Impostor could’ve given you some company!

“I knew something felt off.” Charlie is first to speak.

“Who the fuck killed Y/n?” Corpse questions, and his voice ignites a whole discussion that lasts much too short. The others skip, having no suspect yet. It’s much too soon to start pointing fingers, but you still feel like they should have at least tried. Pouting, you fix yourself another drink.

“Stop drinking!?” You gasp, exasperated at your chats demands, “I’m dead! What else should I do, the tasks?! Nah, fuck that. I’m done. I’m out. Charlie better employ his fucking detective skills because if the Impostors win, I will literally quit the game--yes I will, no I’m not bullshitting, fucking watch me.”

Thankfully, Bretman was caught venting, and you didn’t have to end the stream prematurely. The second Impostor, your roommate (oh, the betrayal, Rae, how could you?!) was voted out due to Corpse’s suspicion. Victory to the Crew Mates! The game restarts and you find yourself back in the lobby.

“Miss Y/n,” Bretman says, “I am sooo sorry for killing you first, baby. It was just too easy. I couldn’t pass it up.”

Giggling, Quackity chimes, “Sister slaughtered.”

“Oh my God,” James groans, “shut up!”

“Yeah, Y/n.” Charlie speaks, and there’s an accusatory note in his calm voice, “Why the fuck did you allow yourself to be eliminated first? Real noob shit, I expected more of you.”

“HUH?!” You frown, “What’s with the victim blaming?! I literally was doing my task and Bretman snuck up on me. It’s not like I had a weapon to defend myself!”

“You have been avenged,” Corpse states, “and that’s all that matters.”

“Thank you, Corpse!” You say, “At least someone cares.”

“Hey, I helped, too!” Dream pipes up.

“No, you didn’t.” Corpse shoots him down, “I was the only one.”

“You were not--”

“Literally was. Isn’t that right, Sykkuno?”

“Uhhhh-” Sykkuno trails off, “Well, we-we all helped!” You can hear his shy smile, and you just know he’s bobbing his head up and down at this exact moment, “We all helped. Team work!”

“Team work!” The rest echo, save for yourself, Corpse, Charlie, and the two Impostors. Silence speaks more than a thousand words or whatever. You pray to any higher power willing to listen to finally assign you the role of the villain, the one you were born to do.

Sadly, higher powers must have either shitty customer service or are in need of hearing aids, and you almost scream in frustration when your astronaut appears along with the others, the bold CREW MATE title chipping away at your master plan.

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“Hey, Y/n, hey! Hey, Y/n!” Rae finds you in Cafeteria, where you, metaphorically, are eating your feelings. Not that she needs to know, of course. She sounds chipper, a bit ditsy, and that must mean she’s sufficiently tipsy. You store that information for later, and forget about it as soon as you notice Dream and Sykkuno, like her very own personal bodyguards, trailing after her, “Wanna play a game?!”

“Is this Saw?” You inquire, somewhat lazy. You’d be lying if you said the alcohol wasn’t affecting you, it’s just instead of making you bubbly, it makes you mellow. This was supposed to be fun, you were supposed to terrorize everyone and laugh as they perished by your hand, yet here you are, wallowing in self-pity. The roaches start worrying. The donation jingle chimes.

BEATINGS & SLUTATIONS yns_fishnets donated 5$ mom just wait it out & dont worry youll get your vengeance soon lead them on!!!!

Your fishnets have a point!

“Saw?--No, no, haa, no it’s a drinking game.” Dream sounds like he has had one too many rounds of this mysterious game, and naturally, you are intrigued.

“Where we drink!” Sykkuno clarifies. Right, well that explains everything! If you had any questions, you surely have none now.

“Okay, so, name a category, and you have to, like, say a word associated with it...Or something along those lines.” You hadn’t even agreed and Rae is explaining the rules already. She knows you too well. It’s both a blessing and a curse, “Can be anything! Okay, Y/n, Y/n, Y/n start!”

“Uhh--” If only your brain computed as fast as she spoke! “Song lyrics! Wait--who drinks?”

“You fail, you drink!” She hurries, “Choke me like you hate me but you love meeeeee. Syk, go, go go!”

“Uhm, ah, I don’t wanna feel like this, uh, fuck?” He laughs--it’s a raspy, embarrassed little sound, “I don’t...wanna look like this? Dream, now you!”

“Wait, we’re singing Corpse’s songs?”

“Any song!” You urge him quickly, “Hurry! Or drink!”

“She say I kill her cat like I'm Luka Magnotta--”

“Hey! That’s cheating! You can’t use my song!” Rae protest.

“That wasn’t in the rules!” He counters.

“Y/n! Time’s running out!” Sykkuno exclaims.

“Oh, uh, will-will the real Slim Shady please stand up!”

NOT EMINEM WHAT THE FUCK

MOOOM WHT THE HELL THIS ISNT 2008 T_T

“Ra-Ra-Rasputin, Russia’s greatest love machine--”

“All...All the other kids with the pumped up kicks better, uhh, run better run, faster...-faster than my gun?”

“Uhh, shit--fucking hell.” Dream laughs, and Rae practically screams at him to keep going, “Alright! Okay! I’m singing--uh, you’re so golden, na na na na?”

“I tell you what a woman loves most,” You chime gleefully, “it’s a man who can slap but can also stroke.”

finally, the mother mother representation we’ve all been waiting for

i aint exactly gay but i aint exactly not gay >:)

the bis won

“I steal a few breeeeaaaths from the woooorld for a minute--”

“Mitski?!” You question, eyes bulging, “Baby, who hurt you?”

Even if you can’t see her, you know she’s waving her arms around and shaking her head, “Not the point! Sykkuno!”

“Uh, I-I, uhm, I don’t--”

“Drinnnnk!” You all chorus.

“It was a good concert,” You say, “Syk, I’ll drink with you.”

“Thank you, Y/n. That’s very kind of you.” He says softly, with a smile lining his lips. You grin.

“Oh, fine. Everyone, bottoms up!” Rae decides, and no one protest. A moment of silence passes, then, “Well, GG, GG, let’s do some tasks?”

Your enthusiastic Ariana Grande-esque “yuh” is cut short by the second meeting of game two being called. The first one to go had been Ash, voted out during a bathroom break as a joke, and you still feel a bit bad about that. Now, you notice Charlie has been eliminated. A sense of righteousness fills you--while you mourn for your brother from another mother and father and family tree, you feel like this is divine punishment for slandering you before the start of this round. Karma. Nothing much is discussed, and the meeting ends shortly with everyone skipping.

You spend a good ten minutes wandering around with Dream, who’s mission appears to be convincing you to join his Minecraft server, and really, there was no need for him to try so hard. You failed to provide him with a concrete answer only because it would've been to humiliating to admit that you agreed instantly upon hearing the word Minecraft.

That’s when things get fucking weird. Another meeting is called whilst you’re in the middle of fixing lights, and once the board with the members appears you audibly gasp. There had been 8 living, breathing astronauts rushing around the map, and now only 4 remain. You, Corpse, James, and Alex.

“What the fuck--what the fuck?!” You screech alarmed, noting Dream being among the perished crew, “I was just with Dream fixing the lights, I was just with him, what the fuck--”

“Okay, no one panic.” James says, “Let’s figure this out. Okay? Okay. Who else is close to Electrical?”

“I’m at Nav.” Quackity says.

“I’m at Cafeteria, but Y/n--” Corpse starts, “kinda weird that Dream died when you were with him?”

“I didn’t fucking kill him, I swear to God, Corpse, why are you accusing me?”

“Don’t be so defensive.” He says smoothly, “I’m just pointing out the obvious. We all have a reason to be sus, no? Considering you were right with him.”

“...It is suspicious.” James agrees, and a part of you dies inside. You understand their hesitance to trust you, but it doesn’t make it any less frustrating!

“Guys, I didn’t kill him, I swear. He invited me to play Minecraft, I wouldn’t do that to him, not after that!”

Corpse merely hums, and it brings no comfort what’s so ever. The situation is spiraling, and not in your favor. Trying to salvage your chances at freedom, you try again, “Wh-James, James, you called the meeting, right?”

“Yeah, I found Rae’s body near Medical.”

“So I couldn’t have killed her and Dream at the same time!” You latch onto that piece of information, hoping it will save you.

“You could’ve vented.” Corpse points out, “Plus, there’s no telling how old the body is.”

“Killing five fucking people? It’s the work of one person, or else the game would have already ended. As it stands, I am no way sober enough to think all of this out.”

A brief silence hangs in the air; your lungs constrict from tension, from spilling words so hotly. You grasp your glass, as if for emphasis, and take a shy sip. It taste sweet, a bit too sweet for your liking. Must be your nerves. You drink again to wash the taste out of your mouth, which, surprisingly, doesn’t work. You whine a little, stomping your feet like a child about to throw a temper tantrum.

“...I believe her.” Quackity says. You breathe out a sigh of relief.

“Alex, thank youuuuuu!” You gush, batting your lashes as if he could somehow see you and that would somehow portray your innocence, “I knew I liked you for a reason!”

He mutes his mic, his spill of words lost to your ears, but chat helpfully informs that he’s screaming because you don’t hate him.

y/n out here collecting men like pokemon cards

Now all that’s left is to convince the others. You start with the one you know will work, “Corpse,” You address him in your sweetest voice.

“Y/n,” James warns, “don’t you dare--”

“Baby, I didn’t kill anyone, I’m crew mate, you gotta believe me.”

“She's innocent.” Corpse declare, thoroughly convinced.

“Oh my fucking God, you fucking simp!” James laughs, “She’s obviously manipulating you!”

“No, no, she isn’t. She’s innocent, I agree with Quackity. Now, it’s either you or him.”

“Could be you for all we know!” Alex accuses.

“Guys, time’s running out.” You mutter fretfully, noting the seconds tick by from white to red.

“I’m voting Alex.” Corpse says.

“What?! Fucking traitor! Fine, I’m voting for you.” Alex hisses.

“Ugh, hate agreeing with Quackity, but I’m also voting Corpse. Sorry, hon, nothing personal.” James says. The VOTED icons pop up beside their characters and you panic, pressing your mouse idly but it’s too late, there wasn’t enough time, and you cry as Corpse is thrown into lava. The chat spams F, and it feels like salt on a fresh wound.

In a second you’re back in Cafeteria, shell-shocked and trembling, and Quackity cusses because the Impostor is still among you. His frustration doesn’t last long as you watch in horror as Jams Chortles, beauty guru supreme, murders the only other crew mate in cold blood and all you can do is gape and let his cheerful laughter fill your ears. The screen bleeds red, informing of Impostor victory, the second one being Ash. Looks like you voted her off for the right reason, but little difference did it make.

“Corpse!” You yell past the cacophony of voices, all in varying forms of excitement or anger, beelining for his in-game figure, “Corpse, I’m so sorry, I panicked, I tried pressing the button but I wasn’t quick enough--”

“It’s alright, baby. Don’t worry about it.” He’s so calming, so gentle, you might burst into tears again. What did you do to deserve him? You wish he was with you so you could smother him in a hug. Alas, all you can do now is say “I kith you, mwah!” and rush to the other side of the lobby, as if to hide from such a bold display of affection, even if it was a joke (it wasn’t).

yall say corpse simps for y/n but the reality is y/n simps for corpse harder

queen stop its embarrassing

bhaddies can simp!! i wouldnt but its her choice <3

More deliberations, commentary, and short breaks. Once everyone has returned, the countdown starts. You’re still reeling from the chaos of emotions, the five stages of grief you experienced in 1 second upon Corpse’s unjust demise, that it takes you a moment, a single heartbeat to realize what you’re seeing on screen.

The letters IMPOSTOR hang above your astronaut, with Dream standing just behind you as your newly appointed partner in crime. And suddenly, all the sadness and the tenderness and sympathy vanish with a curt exhale. You slowly turn your head to the chat, muting the Discord call, your soft chuckle of disbelief turning into a full blown laugh.

it’s happening!!!!

omg omg omg omg

VILLAIN ARC VILLAIN ARC VILLAIN ARC

You slap your palm over your lips, trying to contain your wicked smile, to tone down your broken giggles, “N-No, I can’t laugh yet,” shaking your head softly, you look into the camera, “they’re all going to die.”

pack it up light yagami

this has awoken something in me.

^ same

The crew mates go their own ways, rushing to do their tasks like the diligent little workers they are. How adorable. Their grim fate is still miles away from them. The shit you’ll pull will be for the history books. Much like your outfit, which you picked keeping in mind your newfound thirst for blood, you had devised your plan of action with care and consideration. You had been mulling it over all day, drawing on paper like the absolute madwoman you are; hell, you even made sticky notes on who to go for first and what to say. Sure, being moderately drunk hinders your memory slightly (an understatement of the century), but you got a feel for what you’re going to do. It’s nothing short of evil.

Dream and you don’t exchange words, you merely nod at him-- which he, of course, can’t see-- but your criminal bond enables telepathic communication. You can hear his thoughts, ones that strangely sound like drink drink, drink drink. And really, who are you to refuse such an enticing offer?! As he fucks off to stalk his victims, or play pretend, you take a sip. The cocktail is still sweet, but this time it’s not the icky sweet you had tasted prior. You glance at your sticky notes, ones the roaches can’t see, and nearly spill your drink for the second time today as you jerk.

“Fuck!” You exclaim, shoving your headphones off and spinning in your chair. You hastily stand up, wobble -- the world is pleasantly funny right about now -- and giggle. Stepping past the mountains of abandoned clothes and pillows and blankets and anime plushies, you maneuver your way to your bedside table and yank it open, nearly taking out the whole drawer with you. In the mess of old diaries and bad drawings, pencils, jewelry, and stickers, you fish out something you should not be wielding in your inebriated state.

It’s a knife.

In midst of teenage angst you had ordered it off of Amazon with your mom’s credit card, all the while whining that it’s not a phase, mom, and it’s what all of my cool kid friends with fried hair have, and don’t you want me to fit in, don’t you want your daughter to be happy?! You think it’s about that time, the time of too much uneven eyeliner and black eye shadow, that she took to calling you little raccoon. Trash rabbit was your personal favorite, but she used it sparingly. When you presented your Macy’s outfit, holding up a fucking butterfly knife, to your dad, asking if it was a look, he glanced up from some boring business magazine all boring business dads read and said, with a bright smile might you add, “It’s a something!”.

Oh, how it gleams in the lilac light. You used to do tricks with it, back in eight grade maybe, and--what the fuck? Why did you parents allow you to buy it in the first place? Well, because you’re the only child, the only one important, of course they got it for you and clapped enthusiastically at your performances, because why wouldn’t they? The whining they’d face otherwise would’ve been harder to endure than a whole dance number to Panic! At The Disco’s greatest hits. Broadway looked so fucking shabby in comparison. Your mom said so, so it must be true.

Stumbling back to your extremely confused viewers, you take your seat, feeling a bit more grounded now that you’re not standing on your platform shoes anymore. Putting on your headphones, you grin at the chat that starts swimming, and not from too much drinking either. You do a quick flick of your wrist, one that thankfully doesn’t end in injury, and the sharp tip of the exposed knife points upwards, glimmering. It’s a rainbow colored one, because one, it’s pretty, and two, you weren’t hardcore enough for the jet-black or straight up military ones the other emo kids had. Cute and dangerous, just like you.

So you just sit there, holding it up, looking somewhat sly as the roaches capture this momentous moment with screen-caps. Someone definitely clipped you trudging past the obstacle course to obtain a weapon of mass destruction. You must be already trending on Twitter, though you can’t exactly log on and confirm your suspicions. You just feel like you might be, like you should be, because your audience wouldn’t let this slide. Thankfully, your friends don’t have time to check social media, or you’d be outed in an instant.

“Y/n?” Your roommates voice booms from your headphones, and you perk up with a stupid realization that you completely forgot about Among Us. Stuck at the start, at the lobby where Dream had left you, you see her astronaut waddling to you, “What are you doing here? Wait--Have you not moved from the beginning?” She can barely finish the sentence without giggling.

You grin, “I was looking for something.”

Your voice is soft, too calm for your usual frantic spill. You gently set the knife down, hand coming to rest on your mouse, fingers idly, slowly, bouncing on the buttons.

“...What were you looking for?” She’s none the wiser, the numerous drinks consumed tonight numbing her sharp mind. She would have noticed. Your eerie composure would’ve given it away in a heartbeat, or at least hinted at something being objectively wrong. But she sounds curious. Poor girl, hasn’t she heard? Curiosity killed the cat.

“A knife.”

“A knife?!” There’s something about her tone that implies a mental clicking, the puzzle pieces falling together, “You have a knife?!”

“Yes.”

“No!”

You think it would only be appropriate that the random sequence of killing animations renders the backstabbing one. You grin, biting your lower lip with a quiet snicker.

i love women

if evil bad...why seggy?

You take your time leaving her there -- in true serial-killer-to-be fashion, you stick around for a bit longer, admiring your handiwork, or more like the chat singing your praises. You joined today with the intent of making an interesting stream. You have no doubt in your mind that now it will be legendary.

You move down the hallway, and you let your imagination wander: you can almost feel the stuffy air of your helmet, can almost hear your loud footsteps echoing in all this hush, can almost see your reflection in the spotless tile floor. It’s not long before your second victim makes an appearance, running circles in Cafeteria. You hear his voice first before you see him, recognizing Alex by his unhinged screech of “Let’s go, let’s go, let’s goooo!”

“And what’s got you so excited?” How cool and collected you are, gosh, you barely contain the quiver of excitement that threatens to slip out.

“Y/n!” He exclaims, rushing to your side like a lost puppy--he’s really making this easy for you, he’s not even trying, “You just missed--Oh my fucking God, you just missed James, he-he called me tall, he called me fucking tall! Let’s go, let’s gooooo!”

“Well, you are tall, aren’t you?” You chime sweetly, almost as sweet as the drink that lingers on the tip of your tongue, “Real 6′3 energy, no?”

“Yes, yes, exactly! You get it, you fucking get it--” Once again, his mic goes mute, and you glance at the chat for help.

hard to transcribe what hes saying but hes taking shots and yelling that he loves you good job mom

hey, queen! girl, you have done it again, constantly raising the bar for us all and doing it flawlessly

mom plz dont kill alex hes too cute hes all uwu rn

Oh, how you’re about to break his poor little heart. If you had any good left in you, you’d spare him. You don’t, and you’re not taking requests at the moment, so all you do is smile at your chat and they know. They just do. Hive-mind shit, you’re all two-faced little fuckers.

You giggle, and it sounds a tad fake, “You’re so weird, Alex,” You start, and he’s back in the call, a sound of confusion echoing in your ears, “but I get it, you know. You’re weird. You’re a weirdo. You don’t fit it, and you don’t want to fit in. I mean, really, has anyone even seen you without your stupid hat?”

“...Do--” He sputters, bellowing a laugh, “Do you have that whole fucking monologue memorized?!”

“Is it because you’re bald?”

“I’m not fucking bald!” His giddiness is quickly replaced by anger.

You hum, pretend to think, lastly barking a “Liar.” before you kill him. His scream is cut off, leaving only deafening silence at it’s wake. Unlike with Rae, you don’t stick around. You didn’t appreciate how little he enjoyed your recital.

You run into James near Navigation, most likely on his way to Cafeteria. He ends his song mid-note, and you breathe a sigh of relief, “Finally! Someone! I’ve been looking all over, where the hell is everyone?” You question, blocking his way, lest he accidentally stumbles onto the crime scene and easily pins it on you. You’re not done yet.

“Honestly? No clue. I’m searching for them myself, like, everyone’s scattered. I hope no one died.”

You smile. You tried not to, but you can’t contain it, “Me, too.” You echo the sentiment, urging him to join you, and he does. Too trusting. Everyone in this game is too fucking trusting. You lead him back to Nav, feigning that you have a task here. As you pretend to move the spaceship, you can’t help but ask, “Hey, James?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s your favorite scary movie?”

A beat of silence passes, “Oh no, fuck that, I don’t like this at all.” He states, about to spin on his heel and bolt like he should do, but you’re quicker-- killer instincts and all-- and he’s dead before he makes it out the doorway.

“See, after your No More Lies video, I figured you’d only tell the truth.” Yes, this is the part of the anime where the villain monologues, only the hero in this case is an astronaut cut in half, and not exactly alive to listen to you. You hope James’ ghost sticks around, “Case in point, why the fuck did you tell Quackity he’s tall?” You eye the chat, which’s mostly spamming W and comparing you to Ryo from Devilman Crybaby. “Such a shame...” You murmur, pressing the REPORT button.

“What?! How are so many people dead?!” Ash gasps, her kind voice tinted with fear and confusion. Your three kills, like military stars on an uniform of a distinguished officer, are displayed on the board. Dream appears to be slacking, having yet to take a life.

“Someone’s been real fucking busy.” Charlie observes. It’s true, you have been.

“I found James in Nav, but holy shit--” You begin, exasperated, “--what the fuck, guys, how did we miss this shit? Where is everyone?”

“I’m at Electrical.” Corpse voices.

“And I’m with Corpse.” One sentence is all it takes to figure out your next target: Bretman. Revenge for being killed first in the first goddamn round, and for spending so much time with your boyfriend.

Eep!!! Boyfriend boyfriend boyfriend!!! The word even makes you forget your thirst for blood, that’s how whipped you are. Sadly, it’s time to return to reality, to this grave situation.

“And what have the two of you been conspiring?” You keep your tone level, but that alone is enough to set everyone off. The unease you had planted within them before the game started is starting to bloom. However, if they suspect you, they don’t speak up, not yet.

“Fishnets, mostly.” Corpse says.

only partly a lie he was mostly talking abt u queen <3

corpse simping for y/n is the sweetest thing ever

the times corpse used y/ns name when talking abt y/n: 1. the times he used baby or my baby: infinite

“I’m wearing them right nyoooow.” Bretman drawls.

You hum, “What a coincidence. I am, too.”

“Wait--For real?” That seems to catch Corpse’s attention, because of course it does, you picked them with him in mind, after all.

“No peeping.” You tsk, obviously referring to his tendency to hop onto your stream unprompted. Whether he actually listens to your demands is beyond you, “Peeping means cheating.”

“For the love of fuck all, can we get back to the three dead bodies, please? Because I’m about to have a second coming of Christ moment and taste my consumed, digested beer for the second time.” Charlie interjects.

“I mean, anyone have any ideas who’d do this?” Dream takes hold of the conversation. Quiet, disappointed nos greet him. They have nothing to go on, no clues, not even a subliminal message. With everyone scattered, there is no way of locating the actual bodies and drawing a long red trail leading back to you.

You’re too good at lying, and Dream is too good of a publicist. People tend to trust his judgement, which is his main asset (besides his calm demeanor of course). When the Among Us gods chose you as Impostor, they made sure you had every advantage.

“Who-Who do you think it is, Dream?” Ash questions, “I trust you. I do. Just know that.”

“No fucking clue.”

“Y/n?” She tries again.

“Same. I’m a bit worried, though.”

“Let’s, uhhh, let’s skip?” Sykkuno offers. The consensus is to start voting at six. Your new mission is to make sure you dwindle the numbers down drastically before that can happen. You have no qualms about sacrificing Dream in order to meet your goals, either. Absolutely cold blooded.

Back at Cafeteria, there are words exchanged about Quackity’s body just laying there, forgotten. Blame is shifted: how come we didn’t notice sooner? Where’s Rae? And you mindlessly go along with their mourning, not really paying attention. Dream leaves with Charlie and Sykkuno, Corpse requests you stay with him and you sprout fake apologies. Not his time yet. Us girls need to stick together!, you sing, following after Ashley and getting further and further away from him, going deeper and deeper into the labyrinth of the spaceship.

You find yourself in Security with her, her cute astronaut pressed to the cameras, watching the live feed, “Let’s lurk here, okay? Maybe we’ll see something.” If only she saw who was standing behind her.

“Who do you think is the Impostor?” You ask, standing in the doorway, “Or, more like, who are the Impostors?”

“Honestly?” She ends her word with a little sigh, “I think it might be Corpse and Bretman. I haven’t seen them at all this game.”

You smile, raising your brows, tilting your heard, and you sound so kind, like a dear old friend about to deliver a tender message, “...Have you seen me?”

“SHIT!”

Too late. In one smooth motion she joins the afterlife. You cut the lights, venting mindlessly till you spot Corpse and Bretman panicking in Weapons. Your existence is still a mystery to them.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck--” Corpse mumbles, “Bretman, don’t you dare fucking kill me right now.”

“I’m not Impostor!”

“Okay, I’ll drink to that.”

They rush out of Weapons, most likely on their way to Electrical, and you trail after them like the Grim Reaper itself, biding your time till you can deliver the killing blow.

“Corpse?!” You call out, mild panic ringing in your voice, “Is that you?”

“Shit, Y/n? Where are you?” He questions. Crew vision is so sad, so small, how can he not see you standing almost right next to him? “Where’s Ash?”

“I dunno,” You say, “when the lights went out I ran. Please don’t kill me.”

“I’d never do that, baby.”

Too easy. They’re all too fucking easy. You bite your lower lip, trying to stop the laugh bubbling in your chest, to stop the lightheaded dizziness that overcomes you with a rush of excitement.

“Thanks, pretty boy.” You mutter, and it sounds a bit lower than you intended, a bit darker, something sinister lurking underneath cotton candy words. It instantly clicks in Bretman and he makes a noise, something like a whine, and you see him backing away, “I know I can always trust you.”

Whether Corpse notices the odd shift in tone, he doesn’t show it, “I like it when you call me that.” Is all he says, and you hear the smile in his voice, the appreciation. The trek to Electrical is all but forgotten. You slowly make your way to Bretman, “Where are you? Come here.”

“Just a minute,” You say cheerily, “I just need to kill Bret first.”

“Holy shit.”

“N-” Your victim’s sentence is cut off in a second, and you can’t contain your manic cackle this time, because the screen bleeds red, the words VICTORY splattered on it, depicting yours and Dream’s sneaky astronauts. You’re still laughing as the voices of your fallen friends ring in your ears.

“Y/n, what the fuck, you’re an actual monster.” Dream says, but there’s no actual weight behind his words, each syllable punctured with a laugh.

“I knew the second she asked me about my favorite scary movie that I’d get the chop.” James states.

“Wait, Y/n, did you kill everyone?” Corpse questions.

“She fucking did!” Dream answers for you, “I got Charlie and Sykkuno, and barely at that. What the fuck.”

“I’ve been waiting so fucking long for this.” You admit, giggling, raising you glass, “I toast to you, Dream. My perfect partner in crime.”

“I didn’t really do shit, but cheers.”

Quackity heaves a heavy sigh, “Y/n, Y/n, you don’t actually think I’m weird, right? Right?”

“No, she does.” James chimes.

“WHAT THE FUCK DID I EVER DO TO YOU, DUDE?!”

More commotion, more noise, and you just sit there, buzzed, snickering, reading the chat as the rest agree to play another round. You thank the people who donated that you had accidentally missed among the, you know, murder, reply to a few questions, bow dramatically to the many praises and invisible flowers you receive for such beautiful assassin work. When you look back at the screen, you throw your head back with a maniacal laugh.

Impostor again, only this time it’s with Charlie. Family bonds are often restored when united under a common goal. You’re so happy. So happy. You weren’t done terrorizing your friends yet.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @bingusmode - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

#corpse husband #corpse #corpse husband x reader #corpse x reader #corpse social media au #corpse husband x y/n #corpse husband fic #corpse husband social media au #social media au #myso #make you say oh #quackity #dream smp #corpse x y/n #imagine #imagines #reader #xreader

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blisslilywrites · 5 years ago

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ASK BOX OPEN YESwell, I read the toshinori, Aizawa and Present mic with their s/o with this Jesica Rabbit attitude I LOVE IT, can we have some more? When they were fighting against LOV they were badly injured, their s/o was there or near the area.She saw them injured and for the first time used her quirk in front of them (Like kaneki from tokyo ghoul, without the cannibalism) to defend her man, s/o with this Jesica Rabbit vibe won't let anything happen to his honeybun or her new children👊😤👌

A/N: Aaa yess jessica rabbit s/o is a total badass babe that ain’t gonna let anything happen to her hubby or her kids 👊😤im also lovin that she has a rinkaku (i think that’s what it’s called rite??) anyway its pretty late rn so uh apologies if its weird or anything lol..hope you like it tho uwu ~lily

PART 1

ALL MIGHT / Toshinori Yagi

Your boyfriend had forgotten his lunch box at home again

So, like every other day that he did, you went to U.A. to go give it to him

By now, you pretty much accustomed to his schedule and knew you’re way around

Today though, something felt off…

You couldn’t tell what it was exactly but it just felt..weird? Somehow?

You went to one of the training grounds and finally found your boyfriend…

Being cornered by the league of villains

His face and arms were all bloody and dirty, you could tell he was trying to fight them off

Your hero senses immediately kicked in and you ran towards him

Then you noticed several students laying unconscious behind him

This fueled your rage and protective instincts even more

The League didn’t realize you were there until the very last second when you activated your quirk and started attacking them

Tbh All Might looked pretty relieved when you showed up

It’s as if he knew things would be ok now that you’re here to kick their asses

And kick their asses you did

Let’s just say years of training an already powerful quirk meant that you were really powerful

The lil bitches that call themselves the league of villains were not prepared for you or your quirk but they were quick to adapt

You may be strong but you were still a single person against an entire group of villains

Even still, you fended them off to the best of your abilities

What you didn’t know was that the students of 1-A still had a lot of fight in them

Those that could had quickly come to your aid and, within moments, the tide had changed to your favor

Ngl the damage you guys inflicted was pretty high and it forced Shigaraki to call for a retreat

You let out a sigh of exhaustion and relief before checking on all the students and making sure they were ok

You gave instructions for those who were injured to be taken to the infirmary and overall managed the situation pretty well

All the students were really grateful that you came and, in a way, fighting together made them feel closer to you

Once you made sure everyone was safe, you hurried over to All Might

You then proceeded to scold him for using his quirk while helping him up and bringing him to the infirmary

“Thank you though y/n…I never knew you could use your quirk so well,” he said, coughing

“Don’t mention it, I wouldn’t have let anything happen to you or the kids anyway” you replied with a smile

ERASERHEAD / Aizawa Shouta

It was another peaceful day

The sun was shining bright, birds were singing, people were smiling as they walked along the streets

Yes, it was just another peaceful day

And you were very glad that your patrol ended cuz now, you could go enjoy this peaceful day with your one and only Aizawa Shouta

Just as the thought of Aizawa crossed your mind, you heard a loud boom and several screams

Moments later, a dark figure was flung past your eyes

So much for a peaceful day

Looking over to where the figure landed, you saw none other than Aizawa

His clothes were tattered and torn, injuries were strewn all over his arms and blood trickled from the side of his head

You immediately turned to the direction he came from and stared in horror as the League of Villains battled the young students of 1-A

You heard a cough from behind you and turned to see Aizawa getting up as if he was going back to fight

You quickly ran over to his side and told him to stay put and call for backup

“I’ll fight them off for now”

He seemed reluctant to let you go but he wasn’t in much of a position to argue

So he just gave you a nod and a faint smile

With that, you rushed towards the battle, using your rinkaku (the tentacles..I dont think thats what you call em but nvm basically your quirk) to propel yourself forward

[insert intense and very cool battle scene over here because I suck at describing fights]

You and the students of 1-A managed to hold your own against the league

In fact, you guys did better than hold them off

You guys could’ve probably defeated them had they not run away when the other heroes arrived

A few of the heroes went to chase after them but you stayed behind and helped the medical team make sure everyone was ok

Once you were sure that all the students were safe and accounted for, you went off in search for Aizawa

You found him being treated by one of the medical team

Smiling in relief, you walked over to him

“Ah y/n, when were you going to tell me you look absolutely amazing when you use your quirk?”

You suddenly realized that you’ve never actually used your quirk in front of him before and blushed slightly

“Well I guess this just means there are many more things about me you still don’t know,” you said with a playful smirk which he returned

PRESENT MIC / Yamada Hizashi

It’s been forever since you and your boyfriend Yamada Hizashi went out on a date together

Work has been pretty busy lately so you two haven’t really had the time

Which is why you were so glad that the two of you were able to take the weekend off

He was the one who suggested going out for a stroll around town

“Heard about this new restaurant that has amAZINGG fried chicken”

So here you two were, sitting in a fast-food restaurant eating chicken to your hearts’ content

You felt slight vibrations and tremors but dismissed it thinking it was probably the construction happening down the street

However, when you heard several screams a while later, you knew this wasn’t just some construction

Hizashi realized this too and you two quickly hurried out of the restaurant, leaving the fried chicken behind to go help the people outside

Just as you suspected, this was another villain attack, although these villains weren’t just any villains

They were… The League of Villains *gasp* dun dun dunnn

“I’ll go fend them off while you help evacuate everyone ok?” Present Mic said

You nodded and the two of you rushed off

You used your quirk to protect the civilians from any stray blasts or debris that were sent your way as you led them to safety

You had also made sure to call for backup

Once everyone was safe, you went back to help Present Mic

He was badly injured in the time you left him alone to fight and was barely able to stand anymore

Your protective instincts suddenly kicked in and you propelled yourself forward in between your man and the league

The only thought you had was to make sure that Hizashi was safe

And that one thought served as a flame to your power as you fought off the villains

You knew your quirk was a strong one

You had confidence in your training and your abilities

There was no way you were going to lose now

You fought well and held the league off until the other heroes arrived to help

The league somehow managed to escape before they could be captured

Since the fight was over though, you went to check on Hizashi and saw he was as spunky as ever

“Y/n you were amAZINGG. Your power, your technique…”

You sighed as he continued to fangirl over your quirk and the way you fought

Truth is, you’ve never actually used your quirk to fight in front of him before

Either way, you were glad he found your quirk amAZINGG

—–a little bonus—–

JESSICA RABBIT WITH A RINKAKUUU!! cuz why not lol

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majoringinsarcasm · 3 years ago

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TLDR I got into Hannibal via a friend but have never watched the show aside from clips online and him and explaining the seasons like a year and a half ago. So here I am, just bought season one on YouTube and I’m gonna rip my head off.

Anyway here’s S1E1: Aperitif (an alcoholic drink taken before a meal to stimulate the appetite) did NOT know this word before now but wow is it fitting.

Opening with the sound of sirens cool cool cool we love that

HES JUST STANDING THERE

THE PENDULUM STOP

I can’t imagine filming this. It must have been so fun or so frustrating. Possibly both. I know they probably filmed it all and then rewound it but it’s such a fun sequence.

Can you tell I took one film class in college

oh the door kick. the music for this is working oh boy

Mr. Marlow the poor bastard FLEW down those steps Rest In Peace sir that was sick

THIS IS MY DESIGN HE SAID IT HE SAID THE THING

I get it now. I though i got it before but no. No no no no oh but do I understand on a primal level just how attractive this Will Graham is. It’s been 4 minutes and I want to. God he’s so smart and a freak but also Interesting. No wonder Hannibal wanted him Immediately he’s right stop booing him

Oh no oh hi Jack oh it gets really sad for Jack fuck I’m sad now fuck

Damn if he’s not handsome though

……. IM SORRY????????????

Jack did you just “may I?” and fixed Will’s glasses. On his face. Alone in his lecture hall?????

Gonna think about that later alright then

CAN I BORROW YOUR IMAGINATION THEYRE SAYING ALL THE LINES

Can I just say how sad I am for Abigail? All those victims looked like her. They were meant to be her. All she wanted was to be normal and go to college and live a life but her father couldn’t let her have it. And I’m jumping the gun but the fact that she died in a kitchen at the hands of a parent who was loving up until he wasn’t while her other parent lay on the floor. I’m so sorry honey

God the parents oh it’s so sad already

Oh Beverly Katz my beloved (mentioned)

Oh god the cat no I hate this

Oh Mr. Nicoles I’m so so sorry

Will’s profile here? Like minute 11? Gorgeous

The visual of the pendulum gives me chills it’s so good

BEVERLY KATZ MY BELOVED

WINSTON

Man his car is ugly

Oh the biceps in that white shirt

YALL DIDNT TELL ME HE TAKES HIS SHIRT OFF after a nightmare that makes him sweat like a pig but HE TAKES HIS SHIRT OFF EPISODE ONE IS A GIFT

He’s sweating so bad he has to sleep in a towel. The poor man

Oh what a lovely color for the bathroom. Would look great in a children's hospital

I know what Jack is saying is very serious but the line delivery of “there was no Semen, there was No Saliva” is sending me. It’s too late I already know Hannibal NBC is a morbid comedy it’s too late

BKMB BEVERLY KATZ MY BELOVED

Tho I think she should tie her hair back. She is beauty and grace but why didn’t she tie her hair back. Maybe she doesn’t need to in this particular lab idk

Oh Abigail honey

Miss Bloom!!!!!! What’s up you complicated work of art!

WHY DOESN'T SHE TIE HER HAIR BACK AU where Bev fits a killer profile and Jimmy finds her hair on the victim and Will asks Hannibal to help him find the real killer so his bestie doesn’t go to jail TIE YOUR HAIR UP PLEASE

I can’t imagine being in a room with your coworkers and a dead body and this new weirdos who speaks like every word is a painful poem. Irl I would not be ok with Will he speaks like a tortured ghost id be scared. Snarky Will I can handle. Profiler Will I cannot

Ok. Ok. Hold on

So I know Hannibal is a cannibal. I know Hobbs was eating his victims. I know we as the audience know more than the characters.

What I find buck fucking insane is that Will met TWO CANNIBALS in the span of like. A week, four days??? He was in a house with two (three counting Abigail) cannibals. I don’t think we see many others in the show who eat people outside of Hannibal feeding them but it’s. It’s not common to eat people or at least I don’t hear about it often. It’s not a big number but it’s way higher under one roof than one would think

There he is ladies and gents! King bitch of simp mountain before it all began what’s up loser!

God he’s kinda hot tho I hate it

That lean forward filling the frame. He’s the lion in the room god I want to bite his face

The blue suit makes him look like a little sailor boy. It’s the kind of powder blue that makes me think of Alice in wonderland but also just. TROY BOLTON FROM THE HSM PROM SONG OH MY GOD

LOVE the tie tho

Hate that all my pictures have to be on my PHONE bc it won’t let me screenshot the colors are not being done justice

What. Happens to his secretary for real though?

Jack. I know he’s not flirting but man he is. Wow

Oh god they’re meeting oh fuck this is the beginning of the slow end

I want to bite Hannibal’s cheekbones

“Who’s profile is he working on!?”

I. Love. Jimmy.

Ok but for real I want to know what Hobbs was thinking. Bc if he was as loving as Abigail said then surely he would know Abigail would come home to visit during long weekends and breaks?? Did he think she would leave forever? Bc if that’s the case she could’ve run away at any time. Why did he think he needed to do this. Why did he have to kill her to keep her

You can’t keep showing me this man without his shirt. You can’t Timestamp 31:26 it’s bad for my health

If someone woke me up in a pitch black room with an aggressive ass knock I would turn them away

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. If I made someone as attractive as Will laugh Like That while he was eating the food I made him I too wouldn’t stop until we were intertwined. I get it.

The lighting of this scene is so crazy. Shadows eating shadows and then just. Small amounts of light hitting the lips and hair and nose!! The noses!!

“How do you see me?” Sir can you deliver that line with 80% less flirtation please

“What are you smiling at?” I hate them so much already there’s how much more of this

OH WILL’s OUTFIT??????? THE SHIRT???? i need to stop hyping up white men I can’t do this again James McAvoy was already one thing don’t talk to me about IT that’s another movie I refuse to see but got stupidly invested in. Don’t ask how

“They know.”

Gaaaaah the transition!!!

Did you need to show me a closeup of his mouth????

(Thank you)

This man. Shoved his dying wife out. Why not just leave her in the house why would you push her out what the hell

Lmao Hannibal just watching rhejdbdndjdnd Will hon you’re not doing anything but panting above her cmon man

“GARRot jacob HOBbs! fb-EYE” the line delivery please idk why it’s funny

STOP HES SO GOOFY LOOKIN MR HOBBS FBDJDBNDNF

This episode was shot so pretty wow.

Final Thoughts: Though some line deliveries made me laugh this episode was beautifully shot, the introduction of the characters is great, it mentioned all the key players and I’m even more in love with Will Graham than before which I didn’t think was possible. The beginning of the episode is my favorite part. The entire reconstruction during the lecture gave me chills. Super excited to be emotionally torn apart as things get messier.

#Hannibal #nbc hannibal #major watches Hannibal #hannibal crack #I’m not ready but also I am but also it took me two hours to watch one episode #in it for the long haul baby #will graham #just wanted to get him in here I am attached I love him

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youghvaudough · 5 years ago

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Rewatched Hannibal Recently...

... here are some random thoughts brain chips on the third season

watch out for a text wall it's a doozy down under

this rewatching I finally realized the first half of this season Hannibal was basically like “I’m touring Europe with Bedelia one last time before I check myself into jail so I can see my bf often”

Will must’ve been real good at arts and crafts. He made a whole ass butterfly?bee?dragonfly?firefly man display out of shattered wine bottles and garbage from a basement basically

Also how did he not cut his hands with the glass???? He had leather gloves sure but it’s not like those are cut resistant?????? Does he have cut-resistant leather gloves???????

In Hannibal Rising Chiyoh is Hanni’s aunt’s lady-in-waiting (?) and was described as being about his age; if we’re going by that, she’s the same age as him in the show, which, ughhhhhh, let’s just say really really plays into the idea of us Asians not raisining (not mad at all; Tao Okamoto is so beautiful im gay as HELL —)

Bedelia: you’re in love with Will Graham and also leave me alone plz can I stop finishing murders on your behalf now

Hannibal was remarkably off his killing game at the end of the second season (or just really on his planning game) like NO ONE except for poor Abigail is dead by the 3rd season

Thinking about the filming of some scenes is so funny like:

the crew carrying leather arm chairs and fancy glass side tables into the middle of some woods for a single shot

Bryan Fuller being like “ughhhh can I get a membrane-like sheet over this macro lens so I can film it bring sliced open like its will’s stomach skin”

“also I need three thousand gallons of fake blood for some cool reverse drip shots”

everyone: Will help us catch Hannibal you must hate him so much right???? Will: busy imagining alternate reality where he and Hannibal actually worked it out at the end of the 2nd season

Will: tries his damndest to ignore everyone telling him he and Hannibal are in love while being very much smitten

Mason: talks religious mumbo jumbo Alana after her bi awakening: *choke stare

the only saving grace for Jack Crawford is how much he’s the “I love my wife” trope

Frederic: ...why does no one wanna help me with Hannibal hunting when I go a-knocking but when Will does it everyone’s with him????????? What’d I do

No one: Bryan Fuller: I NEED SOME SNAIL FUCKING SHOTS HERE

Bedelia: i feel like I’m your diet Will Graham Hannibal: what? no *continues to talk about how special Will Graham is and how no one will be his equal basically

WOAH question on Chiyoh so did Hannibal ~literally~ taxidermy her in time with some cannibal magic & that’s why she looks about, I don’t know, in her twenties still ?????? /s

Bryan Fuller: NOW I NEED TO OPEN AN OLD PAYPHONE FOR AN INTERIOR SHOT

Chiyoh: he’s good looking but dumb about Hannibal so

I’ll kiss him

then push him off the train

(hopefully dude’ll be warned but also finally learn how to gay)

Bryan Fuller: ARE YOU MISSING SOME SLOW MOTION SHOTS OF HUGH DANCY FLIPPING OF THE TRAIN IN YOUR LIFE? ALWAYS

how did Mason and Pazzi achieve high resolution uninterrupted overseas video chat with the front camera of Apple laptops????? the power of wealth????? whenever I call my mom my phone turns into a potato pretty much

the jack v hannibal fight was the ultimate “I luh my dead wife” man v “I just need to stay alive and go meet my boyfriend” man fight

Bedelia: I know what your goodbye is; I know what you wanna do to Will and you’re in love with the dude. No thanks I’ll yeet myself outta here

“waving your uterus around like a weapon” how iconic

Dolce will forever go down in cinematic history there I said it. Nothing tops the mirroring scars, the downright sensual romantic dialogue in front of a fucking Botticelli, this 水乳交融 of two minds (can’t find a good enough translation other than maybe “melding”), one of the weirdest most kaleidoscope-forward lesbian sex scene of all times, a lot of overlapping orgasm faces, reflexive hugs and pats of comfort, weirdly timed lip-lickings, etc etc

At least Mason recognizes how good looking Will’s is lmao even with all the burnt penis talk on the table

“He’s looking very dry a little moisturizer please” Mason your gay is showing

“It’s dangerous getting exactly what you want” yeah we got this season of Hannibal and then no more of it I’d say you’re right on the money Dr. Lecter

Alana and Margot helping Hannibal and Will: LGBT solidarity at its finest

dumbest thing mason did was probably pissing off Margot

So basically Chiyoh is made of a stable metal element between iron and silver that’s why she doesn’t age?????? /s

maybe “I found you in my mind palace” can be our “always”

I remember the first time I watched Digestivo and I was so worried Hannibal’s gonna finish eating Will or take off or continue into the book silence of the lamb arc or something after Will basically went “I won’t go looking for you at all bye bitch where my dogs at” so imagine my fucking delight ecstasy when Hannibal threw himself at the FBI just so Will can always find him. I cried buckets and became a devout Bryan Fuller STAN that day

Chiyoh: fuck this shit im out; don’t wanna protect this idiot boy with luv no mo

Molly: weirdly familiar sharp features, sand-blond hair, husky sultry deeper voice hmmmmmmmmm guess WHAT

...but she actually likes doggos so

Bryan Fuller: HUGH DANCY. COVERED IN BLOOD. NAKED. UNDER THE MOONLIGHT. NOW

Will gives Bedelia SO MUCH SHIT about using Hannibal as a means to fame that he almost forgets how possessive protective of Hanni this makes him look

Bedelia: calm yo ass do you know how many “Will is special you’ll never be him” talks I’ve been in with Hannibal as the main lecturer?????

Bedelia: did you go visit him Will: ...yeah Bedelia: whelp fuck my leg is about good as steak any day now

An odd detail I remember about this Will/Bedelia interaction was Bryan Fuller saying in some interview (probably) that this is basically wife confronting mistress; you know who’s which

when Reba was touching the tiger that vet guy must’ve stayed in the room right??? for safety and stuff??? guy must’ve had the weirdest time just seeing Francis freak the fuck out watching Reba

also Reba deserves all the nice things in the world; Francis though an overall shitty person can recognize beauty

...wait i take it back dude said Will was ugly (ok he said “not very handsome” but) like bitch where

for a series with pretty good sfx that teeth scene in 310 was fake as f---

will and bedelia taking shots at each other verbally cracks me tf up like is this the psychology people’s version of “you suck” “uno reverse”

i have to keep reminding myself that this is a crime show that actually aired on national tv bc these dialogues mama??? downright telenovela. Bryan Fuller has a point when he described them as wife and mistress

Bedelia: I would’ve preferred to be bluebeard’s last wife Will: challenge accepted

i cannot stress this enough REBA DESERVES BETTER she seems like the nicest, most well-meaning person ever and deserves to be cherished like so

it's so strange, getting everything that you want; take Will’s slow-burn-esque realization of Hannibal’s twisted affections for example

Bryan Fuller: NOW GIVE ME A CLOSE UP OF ICE SUCKING

So basically Hannibal’s attitude is “if I can’t be a constant fixture in his life I’ll be on his mind”

Hannibal is always a sucker for some good will ehhhh

Hannibal, in a police vehicle: get in Will we’re going cliff-diving dragon hunting; no but the actual line is just as cheesy geez hanni u smooth man-eater

The Bloom-Vergers look straight out of some gothic family catalog (if those exist)

like i will spare y’all the contrived complements of the Wrath of the Lamb bc like fucking hells mate there's no straight explanation for this finale

that’s it thanks for reading mates hannigram forever also someday some wealthy person will revive this I'm sure and we’ll rejoice then

#hannibal #nbc hannibal #hannigram #will graham #chiyoh #brain chips #im sorry but also not #hannibal s3 #i really appreciate Bryan Fuller if you cant tell #thank you for your service mr fuller #me rambling #bedelia du maurier #jack crawford #reba mcclane #bryan fuller

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tillman · 6 years ago

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hi i ranked every single dark souls 1 character by who i think is the most kissable . its 79 characters all with a description of why theyre at the place theyre at with images for reference :-) its all under cut for u to enjoy.. thank u

this is all my opinion cus hehe im making the list but also im god so this is fact now .

counting down because u know what ! buildup is fun and i have to start off with everyones most favorite:

GWYN - 79

im kidding. fuck gwyn and everything he stands for. he wouldnt even be a good kisser he doesnt have FUCKING LIPS

SEATH - 78

oh you really wanna kiss the incel dragon who kidnaps ladies for his weird experiements?? yeah?? who are you, big hat logan?

EINGYI - 77

heres one i wont get hate for: this fucking asshole . die bastard . he cant even kiss his face is all infected and gross!

KAATHE - 76

he sucks.

SMOUGH - 75

not only is he too big to kiss! hes a cannibal!! hed eat you!!!! thats no kiss i want!

MANUS - 74

listen i know yall love daddies and all that but hes manipulative and not a nice person so id watch out. i GUESS hes kissable as he was a human before but def not a good kiss

BED OF CHAOS - 73

its just some vines that sometimes set on fire!! If it were still the witch of izalith she would be probally in the 20s as shes a good person who tried very hard to help the world but in this state... u cant even kiss her!

FRAMPT - 72

better than kaathe but the whole no lips and being a manipulative snake monster really throws me off and shoves him down at the bottom

FINA (GODDESS OF LOVE/BEAUTY (?)) - 71

(mentioned character - no image sorry :-( )

Listen as much as im all for love, this is love u dont want ! just trust me dont be lautrec dont do it you dont want to kiss fina listen to me. please dont kiss fina.

VINCE AND NICO - 70

way of the white members are NOTABLY unkissable but these guys. are just so boring. theyll be your white bread boyfriend as neil would say... bad kissers and bad people!

LAUTREC - 69

aw fuck wait can i make another character 69 he doesnt deserve it. anyways not only is he not over his ex (fina) hed probally gut you and steal your lunch money half way through the kiss anyways so whats the point . thats not how u treat a lover idiot

CENTIPEDE DEMON - 68

it eats your face and you die. next pleaaase

PETRUS - 67

another way of the white cleric. he at least starts off nice and he says fuck rich people but also he let that happen to rhea and i fucking hate his guts so no.

PALADIN LEEROY - 66

out of all the way of the white idiots hes the best in that he wears armor and seems cool but its the way of the white man. i cant get past that. sorry leeroy at least your armor is cool. he probably hasnt kissed someone in hundreds of years anyways

MOONLIGHT BUTTERFLY - 65

delicate ... but beautiful! i dunno how to smooch it but i def would if i could ! i dont think it can kiss back but, o well! we all have flaws

IRON GOLEM - 64

it cant kiss back but its COOL and can throw me like a javelin so like . yeehaw id smooch its little face place

UNDEAD MERCHANTS (BOTH) - 63

between moss and yulia i think they got enough on their plates! plus since theyre so hollowed, i dont think they have any lips to kiss back with!

INGWARD - 62

hes not like . bad persay but also i dont trust him after he helped with new londo. cool design tho. i wanna kiss that bird beak mask

JEREMIAH - 61

was a bullfrog, and never took off his crown long enough to kiss another person...... i feel like if he did though! oh boy!!!

Asylum Demon + Demon Firesage + Stray Demon - 60

more kissable than some bosses, but still not the greatest lips. good butts though on all of them.... so i guess thats fr u kinky people

SNUGGLY THE CROW - 59

(no image shes a crow)

please stop drawing her as an anime girl shes literally just a grow that likes warm things oh my god you freaks be nice to her

BIG HAT LOGAN - 58

hes hard to kiss around the hat! and on that note hes pretty much taken with his obsession with seath. good luck! hes nice though so better than most of this list so far

GAPING DRAGON - 57

ranked so high because past its giant underbelly of teeth and destruction is this very tiny head which i think is so funny i cant help but want to kiss its little snoot.... hehe baby

PRINCE RICARD - 56

oh now were actually getting into kissable range! ricard is a prince (maybe even of astora... kissability increase.) so his high ranking might get you some kissability points, but the hollowing is gonna lower that. 4/10 no kissable lips!

4 KINGS - 55

whats better than a prince..... a king... whats better than a king.................. 4 KINGS! just watch out for their overly anime spiky armor and the fact their in a never ending void nightmare but they do have faces so thats points above the rest!

SALAMAN - 54

(mentioned character only! sorry!)

hmmmm we dont learn much about him other than he was close with quelana and he was ............ hot! hes a pyromancer. being of the great swamp pushes him down a bit because he prolly smells like his name sake but u know what ! maybe hes cute! we cant be sure! hes in the running at least!

TAURUS DEMON - 53

hmm... bad lover.... good kisser................................................... the things i do for big beefy demon love.

GOUGH - 52

While you cant kiss gough cus all the sap in his helmet i cant bare to put him lower than he is hes just so sweet. a kiss on his helmet because i love him so much

NITO - 51

while he cant kiss back, nito deserves a kiss or two! plus he has a lot of hands so u can hold his hands and be hugged at the same time and u know what that might be just as good as a nice kiss. good on you nito!

STONE DRAGON - 50

again a non kisser........ damn beaks! the stone dragon does need a kiss though. they havent seen another living soul in years down in ash lake! so im giving them points on that alone.

VAMOS - 49

like the last two.... no lips! vamos though makes up for it in his charm and wit, and his exceptional skill in smithing! so even without lips to kiss, you still should kiss vamos! hes a good friend

ARIAMIS - 48

(mentioned !)

wow... a painter! and a skilled one at that! this man created the painted world used to keep priscilla safe and that is so noble it gives him points right off the bat! i feel like though, as an artist, he might be a bit weird about it. so watch out and be safe, but in the end, get free art and some free smooches out of him!

ELIZABETH - 47

thats my mom ... of course she gets a good cheek smooch for all her hard work keeping dusk safe!

DOMHNALL - 46

i love domhnall hes a good guy whos trying his best but also his mask is so fucking goofy i dunno if i can do it .

RICKERT - 45

as much as i think rickert would be a good kiss (hes smart, cute, and skilled!) he is trapped behind some bars willingly and probably wont let you in. i can dream though!

CEASLESS DISCHARGE - 44

if theres any boss that NEEDS a kiss its him. poor dude lost all his family and was turned into this laughing stock of a creature. youd probably burn your lips but .... please just be nice to him :-(

SHIVAS BODYGUARD - 43

ooo a strong yet silent type.... hes even cute under his mask! good kiss, but i feel like he might just care more about his actual job than a kiss ! hes dedicated !

CIARAN - 42

putting aside me knowing shed be a good kisser, i just understand she probably doesnt want a kiss right now, shes grieving over the loss of her friend and i respect her comfort. maybe a good pat on the shoulder and a cup of nice tea with her would be nice though!

PINWHEEL - 41

may seem like a weird choice to put a necromancer up so high on the list but.... honestly pinwheel needs some love. dude lost his whole family and in trying to revive them accidentally fused them to himself. while he might not be the best kisser, i honestly just wanna tell him everythings gonna be ok.

KIRK - 40

ok if you know me you KNOW how much it pains me to put kirk so low but. hes a busy guy! not only is he doing so much work to help out where he can with the fair lady, but you might just get pricked by his spiky armor while youre going in for the smooch! so, as much as he deserves a kiss for all his hard work, maybe pass until another time!

SIEGLINDE - 39

were getting there! she is just so strong... and so brave........ she may not even be undead! sieglinde is so strong and wonderful doing all that just to deliver a message to her unruly father, she deserves so many kisses! Shes got a lot on her plate though so please respect her......

BERENIKE - 38

(just mentioned!)

implied to be a huge strong knight who made it to even sens fortress! yes please !

BELL GARGOYLES - 37

hmmmmm,.......... if u can get past the whole lighting your face on fire, these are two loyal gargoyles! that seems pretty good to me!

BEATRICE - 36

a wonderful helpful witch friend! she is so nice to help you defeat flying bosses with her magic!! i love her so much! shes even cute to boot!

GIANT BLACKSMITH - 35

HE HELP ANYTIME................... I HAVE TO GIVE HIM A KISS FOR ALL HIS HARD WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LEGALLY I HAVE TO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RHEA - 34

putting aside my hatred of the way of white.... rhea really is just a babey.... shes adorable and kind and just wants everyone to be ok so im won over. maybe a little forehead smooch for being such a good person!

OSCAR - 33

oh oscar. a noble, heroic, and cute knight but in the end. would he be a good kisser........ i feel yes, but maybe not so much so! hes busy focusing on being a hero you know! hes a good friend and i cant help but fall in love with nice guys

THE FAIR LADY - 32

she deserves the entire world and all i can give her is my humanity and a kiss........... sobs. i wish i could do more to ease her pain but she is so strong and wonderful! please give her a nice smooch!

QUELANA - 31

i didnt wanna separate them ........ her wonderful sister! who even taught humans pyromancies! shes smart and nice, and honestly probably needs a kiss.

MILDRED - 30

uh my notes from last night are just

so yeah! thats mildred!

CRESTFALLEN MERCHANT - 29

hes sad as fuck but also... kinda handsome! he was a knight of berenike and made it almost all of the way through sens fortress showing how skilled he is! a strong man like this (inspired by maybe the best kisser in demons souls, boirr) has to be a good kiss!

SIEGMEYER - 28

hes going through a lot right now but... how could u not think siegmeyer is kissable. thats on you man. thats your own character flaw.

OSWALD - 27

ok this might be slightly controversial but i feel like oswald would be a good kisser. if you got past his slightly weird love for velka who well get to (thats just carimites (carimians? carimfolk???)) hes nice and kind and maybe the funkiest character in dark souls

KALAMEET - 26

another cant kiss you but.... kalameet is just so cool ! very shadow the hedgehog and u know what that is NOT a bad thing. you might have a rough time trying to get there, but..... aww whos a good dragon.....

DARKMOON KNIGHTESS - 25

alright the final stretch! the darkmoon knightess is the anor londo firekeeper, and a friend of gwyndolin! shes supposed to be “ugly and shit” (real quote. i would never lie to you) but her model is so cute! defiantly kissable as fuck!

SANCTUARY GUARDIAN - 24

GOFH ITS JUST A WIDDLE KITTEY CAT........... I GIVE IT A WIDDLE KISSEY ON ITS FOREHEAD AHOWHWWAWWW BABEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALVINA - 23

AWHAHWAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW SHES H(FADOESAGVFOSDHFSO CUET EIFEDKC LKOFIE JS I LOVE YOU FJEADFIDASHCODEUFCUSFKSDHFKSUHFC

DUSK - 22

oh yes!! the princess of a lost land...... will you be her knight in shining armor.......... oh i just love her so much. shes sweet and nice and cute and deserves a kiss or two!! please be nice to my daughter!

SHIVA - 21

hottie with cool armor and a cooler sword. since they cut his whole sidequest i can with all certianty say YES he is super kissable and is probably a great kisser

QUELAAG - 20

IGNORIGN HER GIANT SPIDER LOWERBODY........... SHES JUST DOING THIS FOR HER SISTER SHE JUST WANTS TO HELP HER POOR SISTER WHOS IN PAIN HOW COULD YOU NOT LOVE HER SO MUCH!! PLEASE KISS QUELAAG!

GRIGGS - 19

im putting griggs so high cus hes kissable in a factor unseen before...... baby factor. hes soft and nice and is just trying to find his dad! just tuck him into bed and kiss him goodnight! its what he deserves!

ARTORIAS - 18

everyone already KNOWS why artorias is a good kisser. hes nice, strong, brave, and most importantly. cool as FUCKING HELL ! HE DOES SICK ANIME FLIPS!! if you can look past the abyss slowly taking him over, youll find a good good boy who deserves a good kiss.

ANASTACIA - 17

the good firekeeper who we spend most of our time with in 1! YES of COURSE Shes kissable. she deserves SO MANY kisses for all of her hard work in keeping the firekeep shrine lit! good job anastacia im sorry lautrec is like that

VELKA GODDESS OF SIN - 16

(just mentioned!)

if her title alone doesnt bring you in, youll be pleased to know shes implied to help watch over priscilla (who well get to hold your horses) and keep the poor girl safe! a strong sense of justice and a love of crows, shes probably an amazing kiss if you can find her!

ANDRE - 15

were closing in on #1 and i just have to throw andre in here. hes so nice and strong! just . please kiss andre! he deserves some he does so much work!

PRISCILLA - 14

poor priscilla. called a monstrous crossbreed and has to hide in a painted world to stay safe from those who would hurt her. including the internet! leave her alone you freaks shes not your fetish fuel!!! she deserves a good kiss on the cheek and a hug for all she has to put up with

CRESTFALLEN WARRIOR - 13

its my list i get to put the crestfallen warrior where i want. and u know what? he would honestly be a good kiss. hes kind and helpful and never once wishes you harm, he just needs to be held tightly and kissed passionately and u know what. dont we all.

GWYNEVERE - 12

she is beautiful but .... 1 shes married and 2 shes not even real! whatever. her husband the flame god flann is at least.......... hot! haahgdaefshdfcdhswfe im so fucking funny

BLACK IRON TARKUS - 11

listen i see a big beefy dude i go “hey thats hot please kiss me” so of course tarkus is this high up hes the beefiest dude around.... right?? anyways all knights of berenike are kissable hes just the MOST kissable of the 3 named ones!

ORNSTEIN - 10

this dude kisses the son of gwyn you KNOW hes a good kiss. the golden lion armor just helps so much. we love you ornstein .....

HAVEL THE ROCK - 9

HERE HE IS ... THE BEEFIEST GUY AROUND ... this bitch uses a DRAGONS TOOTH as a huge club to bash people with if that isnt big dick energy i dont know what is. armor made of stone. heart made of gold. havel the rock please god kiss me passionately under the moonlight .

SIF - 8

oghfoghfohg puppey..................................... SMOOCHIE THE PUPPY>...........

NAMELESS KING (!?) - 7

(hes just mentioned in ds1!!)

I KNOW HES A DS3 BOSS BUT LISTEN TO ME THEY TALK ABOUT HIM SO MUCH IM ALLOWING THIS. he defected from his awful dads team to go help the DRAGONS!! thats so cool hes so kissable. would be more kissable if he wasnt kissing ornstein but thats ok . i respect them both.

MARVELOUS CHESTER - 6

this MAY just because i have a huge crush on him but also here are some good kissable things about him: his fasion, his voice that sounds like a purr, his laugh, his malice, his funny mask, him. thank you for your time.

GWYNDOLIN - 5

FINAL FIVE! heres gwyndolin. the most kissable of all of gwyns children for the sheer fact of how much work they put in to making sure people stay safe and happy. they are so kind and wonderful they deserve SO MANY kisses! good on you gwyndolin....

LAURENTIUS - 4

now heres a fun one! laurentius is one of the nicest guys u will EVER meet in any souls game. he genuinely cares about you, he loves and respects u even if u dont respect him or his skills, hes nice cute and above all: i love him . please kiss laurentius he is a nice guy who just wants the best for u..... dont be mean to him.....................

CAPRA DEMON - 3

the highest one that cant kiss back and thats for the capra demons SHEER HORNY ENERGIES. this is a demon you can fuck! thats it i have nothing else to say i just think the capra demon is funny

SOLAIRE - 2

do i seriously have to explain why solaire is so high up. not only is he nice and cares about you, hes handsome, passionate, and just a good fucking person. he is hands down one of the most kissable characters in any souls game ever! fuck yeah! go off you funky little lover boy!

and finally.

its patches.

#i made this entire list for a joke and u know what the 4 hours i spent on it for the build up was so fucking worth it i dont care #dark souls #soulsborne

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ofthewilderwest · 6 years ago

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Anyways here’s my add brain’s idea of a history essay about the Cold War:

In Central Oklahoma born and raised, on the playground is where I spent most of my days; playing fantasy adventure games with my friends, we spent as much time as possible going over to the creek at school to explore. Lizards lizards lizards lizards lizards lizards lizards lizards lizards lizards lizards llllllliiiiiiiiiizzzzzzzzzzaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrddddddddddddssssssssss l i z a r d s l i z a r d s yeaaaaaah babey lizards are cool as heck can i write an essay about those funky little dudes instead of myself because i may not know much about myself but i sure as heck know about those scaly critters oh golly gosh this sucks

i hope filling the page with words makes it look like i’m doing something because i have absolutely no idea what to write. I remember nothing before the events of this week. And nothing has happened this week. Scooby dooby doo where are you.

Ha you know what a good word is? Plethora. Another good word? Puffin. But another good word is parakeet. Hey, they all start with the letter P! Nifty. Golly gosh i want to do something with this but what to do?

Think of their cry of their undying support. Prima donna your song shall never die think how you’ll shine in that final encore see these demands are rejected but if it’s loudly sung and in a foreign tongue it's just the sort of story audiences adore light up the stage sing prima donna once moooore. Okay thats a thing. A ghoooooost or rather a ghooOOOOoOoooOOOOooost aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa… nope im still uninspired.

Woah, google docs saves automatically?? That's totally tubular man! Perfect for a lazy cabbage like me. Piano noises. Ugh i really need to work on work. Work? Idk her. Did you know the basilisk lizard can run on water with their toe flaps? They slap the water with their big feet and create a little air pocket between their toe flaps, allowing them to remain buoyant enough to run on water. Crusty is a gross word. Worse than moist. Moist>crusty.

Textures. Triskaidekaphobia. Woah i spelled that perfectly. It would be cool to be a bicycle. Rollin’ around and having’ fun to see the world.

My wife and I sat at the bed of our only daughter Roxie. The bleak walls the decaying trees the utter depression of the soul the bitter ghost of everyday life the icy sinking of the heart for seventeen years our roxie had danced danced on the edge of a star but now following the loss of her only child a sickness has taken over. He child was stolen and she blames herself she is wasting away her liquid eyes her thin lips her pale skin her spiderweb hair floating in front of her face. Astonishment and dread in the house of usher……. Ugly.

Cannibalism is rather uncool. I could see where it could be necessary but i couldn’t just EAT A PERSON. It’s quite spicy in here. My hoodie isn’t doing any good. Alms, Alms for a miserable woman. I feel like an elderly ravioli rolling down a hill into a lake.

Wowie i kind of want a ravioli right now. Is this acceptable to turn in to [teacher]? Probably not. I really want a ravioli. I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more for a ravioli now. Yum. This dude behind me is frickign on cool math games bro you really have no fear. Not to sound like a goth but, as a goth, I love Edgar Allan Poe’s stories. Wtf am I listening to I- oh yeah I like this song I forgot. Lizards Lizards Lizards.

This is peak creativity for me today. Still thinking about the ravioli. Penny Whistle solo from My Heart Will Go On. The sticker on my computer says [school]LAB529-38. It means i’m at [school name], lab 529, computer number 38. Litty.

I have absolutely no idea what to write. This isn’t even in mla format. Big chungus. Haha. whoops i almost used a comma instead of a period haha ya silly sausage. I sound like a chipmunk vacuum cleaner when i laugh. Go go gadget.

She thinks my tractor’s sexy. I hope not. I’m not part of the cars universe. Wait can i make a carsona? Is that allowed. That would be a rip-roarin funny time. My carsona is aaaaauuuuuuhhhhhh one of those baby cars that you run with your feet sticking out to drive

advertisement is a good word yeah it’s got a lot of syllables. Ssssyllablessssssssssss. Morphine.

My phone is blue, i have a blue phone, the poison the poison for kuzco the poison chosen specifically to kill kuzco kuzco’s poison that poison. Orange has the capability to be an awful color or a cool color. I just dont really like orange.

Sitting in a library bunch of books around meeeee wow the people i’m supposed to be with are sitting far away from me i’m all alone ):|> what if googgle haha googgle i spelled that wrong haha what if google didn’t exist and we were stuck with bing or yahoo or something that's super gross right?

Imm sleeby and i can’t go home until 8:00 unfortunately so i guess i’ll just suffer. There's a shiny nickel on the floor! Wow i might be 5 cents richer wait hold tf up there’s no cent symbol on the keyboard?? Really?????????????????????????? That irks me a lot.

Class will be over soon and the five hours or feet hurty dancy time. I gotta finish my candlestick hat but yaknow it will turn out ugly or smthn.

Do you ever just love your friends even if they are not talking to each other and suff you still love them wow my friends are queens i want to ea-

#add #actually add #long post

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crazyspookies · 7 years ago

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S7M1+2

So, i wasn’t planing on going back to making recaps but i had a couple thoughts that im going to leave here somewhere! :)

1) This is such a nice way to start the season. Also, it kinda feels like one of those national holidays in wich you still go to school but you mostly do other activities that are nothing like your usual classes and the whole school is full of kids going aroudn doing activities or going on a little school trip you know what i mean.

2) “the patchwork cushions look cheerful, and the handmade scepter and mace are a delight!” What a nice reporter i like her.

3) Royal Roller Derby, now a tradition :’/

4) “Me and Five are just in the outer hall. It’s so quiet, anyone could hear! “ Are there any other people here? Are we like, officialy escorting janine as representant of Abel Township? I can’t imagine we’re the only source of security here, i mean, this is a peace conference there should be other people from the other major townships and royal security to make sure nothing happens to their representants, right?

6) “ Five, do you hear that? Bikes.”

Me: it begins

7) “She’ll hear you, and beat you with an Abel pennant later! Janine’s intel is never wrong.“ Sam i love you but lmao in what delusional limbo do you live to even think janine’s intel can ever be wrong

8) “[motorcycle engines roar, laughter, glass shatters]”

9)”And there’s a little disturbance, as we all knew there might be" I love it that we all knew that. Peace conference? Obviously someting’s going to go down

10) Ok, Sorry For Party Rocking? Best song choice ever, great party, 10/10 would recommend

11) I am so weirdly charmed by these toe eating chaos viallians. After having to deal with Sigrid, who if we go by evidence, is a generally much higher profile kind of villian, this is a lot of fun. Like, the stakes are still high, because of the whole “we are going ot be bombed to death or killied insome other way thing but. You know, Sigrid was a cold villian. A conqueror, if you will, with her fingers in many important pots, orginized and a high goverment official. The contrast from that kind of angst to suddenly being surrounded by hot blooded chaos and..a bunch of picturesque baddies who cheer and provoque and make very overt threats is pretty fun. Kinda like little guideon and the prison inmates hahaha

12) Operator Rofflenet. Nice, this is cool, this is smart.

13) “ Abel! Abel scum! Look at their uniforms!” BRING IT ON BITCH

14) Me, listening to the biker chaos: am i on the fury road

15) “ No uniform will save you from the chaos, Abel! [laughs] Come here, little Abel. [kissy noises]” im crying bless your terrible soul you dickhead i can’t believe he’s making kissy noises and giving me classic villian dialogue this is amazing. But also, if i was actually there and someone did this at me id want to smash their face with a rock.

16) "I am getting a very Weinstein vibe from that biker” rock in the face it is

17)” We’re going to kill you slowly. We’re going to eat you piece by piece, starting with the toes “ IM SORRY BUT IM LAUGHING SO HARD COS THERE’S BEEN SO MANY SUCKING TOES MEMES THESE PAST FEW WEEKS, ESPECIALLY WITH THIS PIC AND IM CRYING

18) I’m sorry but, what kind of bad evil cannibals put a burning manequinn on top of a van rather than an actual corpse? Like? I imagine wood takes longer to charr? So what ytou’re saying is that this absolutley was an aesthetic decision

1) On the one hand i’m sad that jody always puts herself down comparing herself to janine. Like, ok, janine might be better at tactics but jody is really good and the truth is, Janine is not there so why compare yourself at all? This applies especially to season 6, because janine very literally LEFT to do a different mission and left the township in our hands. It’s of no use to think “she would do it better”, she’s not here AND she left this work to us, so that means she trusts us enough to get things done without her (and let’s be honest, that’s a great compliment? especially if janine is such a perfectionist?). So, on the one hand i don’t enjoy jody making these comments (especially because?? she’s actually a super good tactician anyway? jody istg) , but on the other i like how they twisted this by showing something jody is good better at than janine, which is diplomacy. I like how they make a note that maybe on this mission it might have been more beneficial for them to have been switched on this mission, and to have played their strengths in a more profitable way. I feel it could be interesting to expand on this, especially with this thing jody is doing with the uhhh thingamabob to reach other countries

2) Alright, so V types. If V types bit a corpse and it reanimates, does that corpse become a V type too and is it able to reanimate other corpses? From what sam says about the biker who is turned, it seems that it most possibly yes, and if he can infect other corpses this becomes a really really bad situation. It really changes the way we have to deal with zombs AND living people who die in any way or form from now on. Corpses from people who die should probably be incinerated to make sure they cannot reanimated. I believe there’s religions that are not too hot about that (badumtss) so i guess there would have to be a difficult conversation to be had there.

I’ve been curious about how did old timey people made sure to make those V types to go to sleep though. I should look it up but I think to remember that the blue flowers and Loki the sorceress were mentioned in this. The blue flowers calm normal zombies down, and it would be interesting to try that out with the V types, see how that works. I don’t quite remember what the deal with the viking blood was but maybe there’s something to reaserch there too, seeing as it was old as balls and probably more likeley to work with the original virus rather than the new types of zombies created by sigrid.

If we got a way to get them super duper high with blue flower extract or whatever, then it might help getting rid of them. All in all, we really need to get them in big numbers and maybe move them to a location where we can get rid of them. Like, if they can infect corpses it will not take much time until we are overwhelmed by the numbers of immortal zombies yakno?

3) On this very note, peeps being idiots and not believing janine about the new V type is so infuriation lmao what the fuck mate we have already gone through so much you REALLY don’t believe us, because we didn’t do everything you wanted when you needed us to (eventhough we were, ya know, busy trying to debunk a fascist regime and all that)? that is some hard headed petty denial right there. My inmediate idea is: somehow capture a V-type, put it in a cage, and get janine and jody play good cop/ bad cop with the other memers in the house of commons, all super theatrical. Jody talks in an appeasing way, janine delivers hard facts, and then dramatically shoots the zombie in the head. Everyone gasps horrifically at the zombie still being alive and janine makes an iconic metaphorical Mic Drop ™

4) Another thing this whole flodding that district no one lives in reminded me is that i’m really worried about is exacly how much can a zombie infect water itself? I think this Might be one of those plot hole moments because?? I think we have stated that contact with infected blood turns people, but who hasn’t been splattered by killing a zombie with an axe? Or while killing an infected person that has not yet turned? If there’s enough zombies underwater close to the beach, is a certain part of the current infected to? What about lakes or rivers? Too many corpses in general poison the water in normal circumstances so what if those corpses are infected? wont the water carry the infection? (how much water is enough to dillute it?)

#zombies run #zrs7 #zrs7 spoilers #fennel's zr recaps #lmao i was going to put m3 too but then i notince that it got REALLY long

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angelblumes · 3 years ago

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food ment. Helllooooooo ugh would you like me to beat her up perhaps end up like her namesake, og mischa?(jk im not a (cannibal)) time to bust out the therapy voice tho , you will find your people and they will love you. Ok. ok wtf is happening? are we like the same person or something? wellbutrin buddies ❤ my room needs to be clean and moved the whole sha bang but I cant😔 life needs to be lived and such. I hope you arrived safely and happily and that everything is slightly better for you than it was last message and that you didn't get too carsick. my power went out today for like 3 seconds everything turned off everything , it usually takes alot for that to happen for my house just because its old and other reasons that I dont actually know. I've had a jam out session yesterday, it was so relaxing 😌 🙌 danced my little heart out to them guys I told you about. There's something abt the murders in hannibal that just does it for me... the artistry of it all. I love it when we talk outside of the 5 daily things too!!! hey, did you get that 'you're so mature for your age' as a kid or 'you've got an old soul' ? whats ur thoughts on that? I personally cant really imagine saying that to a kid maybe its a generational thing? ok 🙄😁 I like commentary ive been watching reactions? on youtube its a guilty pleasure, also I've been getting into some reality tv. Wife swap is crazy I love it alot and then the dating ones because ofc. whats one of the 1st reality show you remember watching and not hating? Honey Boo Boo and I Am Jaz (I think?) were my top two choices of reality. maybe a rewatch is in order for me. ok daily things um a guitar got brought into my house today i... its very.. it made me weirdly happy I love music and its instruments. thank goodness tbh my med were just a little later than usual, the pharmacy gave me emergency 3 days for they can figure out whats up because this is the second time we are having the same problem 😅 I had the best brownie of my life, it was store bought but like from the bakery fav dessert. I got this "new" shirt on so comfy, its tie dyed splattered different blues with an astronaut and nasa logo in white, its cute but also like 3? sizes too big (its a hand me down) dont worry abt the guy if a next time happens ill be ready for it 💪 it will go down, I personally know the man's family I will ruin his life if it comes down to it (we live in a town idk if it's small)or realistically just sic my family onto him. I found out my cousin has a gf now and is apparently very much happier than she was with her ex man (who made awesome cheesecake btw off topic tho) gay people stay winning, I did not know she was not straight tho so happy little surprise 😁 jeez its a lot of words uh I hope you're doing good and you had a good sleep and other nice stuff happen to you and you had a good trip🌷🤟🤙❤

HELPPP u are an angel. thank u❤️. and right exactly. normalize thinking fictional murders are artistic or something . thinkin abt how i used to think criminal minds murders were interesting but never had the right words so i'd just be like "woah he *kills them weirdly*? cool"😭. BUT YEAH i did get that all the time omfg "ur so mature for ur age!!" like thanks it's because i have issues and problems 💀....hmm i hate reality tv HAHA. this gc i'm in was just talking abt wife swap the other day how crazy !! idk if i've EVER liked reality tv .... i like watching commentary abt it (like uhh cody ko's stuff) but watching it myself... nope😭. daily things lets see!!! i went to the baltimore aquarium:) i was exhausted tho. saw that a tiktoker i like (hello fem will graham cosplayers...) went there a few days before me. how funny! i wish we had met and fallen in love or something. i went to bed at 5pm yesterday and slept til 3am. then went back to sleep from 6am to 10am. i think my new adhd/anxiety meds are the cause. sadly. cuz they work! but by making me too tired to be nervous or start thinking too much🥲. i'm tired 24/7 already and thats not helping LOL! i had this fancy meal ok multiple fancy meals and it was really nice. i got chesapeake chicken (haha like chesapeake ripper am i right?!?) and it had crab but i'm crazy i'm crazy i didn't eat the crab. the texture was soooo bad. anyway at another place i got a burger bc i'm lame i don't eat seafood (besides shrimp. which i am allergic to.) and i ate almost the whole thing and my friends mom said she was proud of me😭❤️. i always feel so guilty after eating a lot and that made me feel good. i've started watching more vampire video game play throughs. what can i say. vampire masquerade: bloodlines did something to my brain where i like vampire games now. it's the same guy which is cool. i dont like finding new youtubers becuz i've never kept up w whose problematic or not... like what if i get really into someone and mention it and someone's like oh yeah he preys on women. wtf. like umm cry? is he a youtuber? is he evil? cuz i was looking for a pathologic gameplay and he had one and i was like hmm... he sounds familiar. he has probably done something ? maybe? mm lastly.... i read this hunger games hannibal crossover WEEKS AGO but it's just still on my mind. i don't particularly love the hunger games but it's only bc i don't really know a lot abt it. i enjoy it but i've only seen the movies and read the first book (until rue died. never picked it up again after that! i cried a lottttt) and there's like an absurd amount of hannibal crossovers. i guess bc hannibal would totally rule in the hunger games. like come on a CANNIBAL? the uh.. capitol? they'd go crazyyyy for that. the fic itself wasn't even that groundbreaking or anything i have a lot of criticism for it tbh but it opened my brain to the concept. i have another one opened in a tab but it's super long so i haven't made much headway. i want one where it's like.... the one where the old winners come back for a game! and then they escape😈. but in the one i read will and hannibal sort of just escape anyway in a normal hunger game. like ok cool but i don't think that's plausible. but then how would it work ? like could will win a game on his own? maybe i should write my own fic. but then i'd have to understand what happens in the hunger games /j. ugh ok i was thinking abt that one scene where idk they do the little hand signal thing and drag katniss away and go to shut the door like right as they shoot that guy in the head. THAT WAS SO CRAZY. or when katniss shoots the lady instead of president snow and then everyone just descends on him💀 i feel like there's a level of nuance and understanding that i just don't have so i say "woah! cool :)" i hope ur doing well too ily❤️❤️💗

#a 'guilty' pleasure of mine is watching hunger games amvs LMFAO #asks #5 daily things #long post

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partlycharlie-archive · 7 years ago

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ep: things leo does; by jason grace

chapter 2. aftermath link to chapter 1

summary: 2. hey, mom? okay, there's this guy named leo, and i'm in love with him. wait - wait, you knew that already? well. fuck. wait! aha - i bet anything you didn't know he was in love with me, now did you? yeah, i thought - fuck. word count: 2,051 warnings: mention of cannibalism (not serious), mention of DDLB/NSAP, morse code a/n: valentines chapter because i’m a sucker for the babe :/ read on ao3

5. taps out messages in morse code when he thinks no one is paying attention

Two short taps. One short, one long, two short. One long, one short, two long. Rinse and repeat.

Three letters.

Jason’s sure nobody else has noticed - Leo tapping his fingers in what seems to be a random pattern is nothing new, and his eyes track Chiron’s movements with what seems to be laser focus.

He likes to think he knows Leo better, by now.

Jason thinks back on his old Morse training (“Why do I have to know this?” “Just in case.” “What the hell kind of situation requires us to tap Morse code to each other when we have fucking mouths?”) - laborious months of bullshit memorizing that he never used on quests, but damn if it isn’t coming in handy now.

Two short taps. I

One short, one long, two short. L

One long, one short, two long. Y

ILY.

Jason jerks up in his seat, avoiding Leo’s eyes when his fingers stop tapping and he glances over, obviously concerned.

Leo’s mouth quirks up into a tiny smirk - how the fuck does he manage to lift only a corner of his mouth, and still convey so much? It’s fucking adorable, and Jason hates it - and he focuses back onto Chiron, who is trotting across the front of the room with a vaguely frustrated expression on his face.

Leo’s fingers continue their tapping, slim fingers pressing coded messages into the tabletop.

Two short taps. I

One short, one long, two short. L

One long, one short, two long. Y

One short, three long. J

One short, one long. A

Three short. S

Three long. O

One long, one short -

“Alright, any questions?” Chiron asks suddenly, raising his voice to attract the attention of any heads whose heads are drooping (Jason tries not to feel guilty - fails - whatever.). “No? Alright, dismissed.”

Jason glances at Leo, who is standing up like nothing’s changed, slapping his hands on the table like nothing’s changed, brushing a hand down his jeans like nothing’s changed, turning to leave like nothing’s -

You get the point.

Okay, so Leo had spelled out ILY JASO- something. That something was either a K, a D, a Y, a C, an X, a B, or…

An N.

Was it too much of a stretch to think he might have been spelling out JASON? Zeus knows it wasn’t JASOD, anyway.

Fuck.

6. acts like a child when he gets tired*

* leo doesn’t get tired.

“… so the chip attaches to this port -” Leo yawns, and then shakes his head to clear it up, “ - and so it becomes able to track -” another yawn, “ - the movements -”

“Leo?” Jason asks, tilting his head slowly. Leo glances up, blinking blearily (ha, alliteration) up at him.

“Yeah?”

Jason smiles fondly, unable to hold back his reaction to an evidently tired Leo.

“You look tired. Ready for bed?”

Leo shakes his head again, more rapidly this time, and his curly hair flops around with his movements. He blinks a few more times, then opens his eyes as far as he can. “Nuh-uh,” he says, with an expression like a guilty child.

Yeah, right. Even Jason’s tired, and Leo likes to call him Superman - mostly because he looks like a blond version of him, but also because he’s basically superhuman. Jason doesn’t really get tired.

“Yuh-huh. C’mon, let’s head to my cabin. It’s too late, I don’t want to wake the Hephy kids up.”

Leo shakes his head with a petulant expression, narrowing his eyes and leaning back in his chair. With arms crossed, he mutters, “Nuh. Uh.”

Jason raises an eyebrow and nods to himself for a second, fighting back an amused smile at Leo’s behavior. “Alright, you’ve got a couple of options,” he relents, watching with the fond grin that he hadn’t been able to restrain as Leo slowly relaxes, nodding with lingering suspicion still present on his face. “You can either get up and walk with me, or I pick you up. Your choice.”

Leo sighs heavily, tipping his head back and huffing out another breath through his nose. “Fine.”

Jason stands, hovering for a few seconds. He frowns as suspiciously as he can manage when Leo doesn’t stand up like Jason thought he would, instead slouching further into his seat with hands outstretched, as if…

… he wants Jason to pick him up. Of course he does.

“You’re a fucking baby, y’know that?”

Leo shrugs, a carefree smile on his face. “Yup.”

Jason sighs indulgently. “Yeah, of course you do. Alright, we’re doing piggyback, because we both know - despite how incredibly underweight you are - there’s no way I’ll be able to hold you on my damn hip or whatever for the amount of time it’ll take us to get back to the cabin.”

Leo nods and Jason turns his back to the shorter teenager, crouching on the balls of his feet with his hands outstretched behind him. As carefully as he can manage (which isn’t saying a lot, considering how fucking delirious he seems to be), Leo tucks his legs into the slots of Jason’s hips and he stands up, chuckling softly when Leo yelps behind him.

He regains his balance, though, and wraps lanky arms around Jason to rest in the juncture between his neck and shoulder.

“Good to go?”

Leo says nothing, merely nods against the shoulder he’s already starting to fall asleep on - not that Jason expected anything less.

“¡Dios mio, las luces!” he cries almost immediately, shoving his face into the back of Jason’s shirt. [t - Oh my god, the lights!]

Jason can’t stifle the chuckle that escapes him - okay, so maybe he forgot to tell Leo it was basically morning, but. Who could blame him? He’d been… distracted. By Leo. And his hands. And his hair. And his smile. And his laugh. And his -

You see? It just happened again. Totally not his fault.

Definitely.

"Sorry, love," he says, trying and failing to sound truly apologetic. (Did he just say love in reference to Leo? He’s not going to think about that.) "Afraid I can't turn these lights off."

A groan spills its way out of Leo's mouth, sounding suspiciously like a "Why not?" but with a lot more vowels, probably.

"Well," he starts, the fond amusement (he’s fond way too often when it comes to Leo, damn it) probably ridiculously evident in his voice, "there's this thing in the sky - now, don't get too excited - called the sun. Totally crazy, right? It -"

Leo's left hand knocks harshly against his temple. "Asshole."

"- even makes this wild thing called - wait for it - light! It's pretty fuckin' awesome, if I may say so myself."

Leo sighs. "You may not," he grumbles, and Jason can feel the fluttering of the other boy's eyelashes against his neck. He fights back a shiver at the surprisingly intimate feeling and tries to concentrate on getting them to his cabin.

"Hey, dad?" he murmurs, words slurred through a heavy tongue. Jason opens his mouth to answer, but -

Wait.

What?

He freezes.

Mentally, of course, because otherwise Leo would know something was up, and he was so close to falling asleep, and Jason really didn't want him realizing what he said, because it'd turn into a whole production, and Leo would never get to sleep, and then... you get the idea.

But - anyway. Back to the matter at hand:

Dad?

Is that, like, a kink thing?

Jason remembers reading up on kinks (it was a late night and too many Wikipedia articles, sue him), and he's pretty sure daddy kinks are a thing.

(Eugh. He shudders at the thought. Yikes.)

But - that didn't sound like a sexy Dad word. What would a sexy Dad word sound like? It'd probably be Daddy and not Dad, for one.

Oh, gods.

He's getting off track.

Jason decides, as any sane (teenager) semi-mortal would do, to completely ignore the last word of Leo's sentence. "What's up, squirt?"

Okay, what the fuck?

He definitely meant to say Leo, or maybe bro, as regular teenage boys do, but squirt? Gods, Jason's out of his mind.

Maybe it's because Leo's way heavier than he looks. Who knows.

"'m tired."

Jason resists the urge to fist pump the air, instead pulling Leo onto his hip for ease of motion.

"Yeah, yeah, me too. Don't worry, we're almost there."

7. has horrible grammar when he texts (no, it doesn’t annoy jason)

[17:49] leo_valdez: wht do u want 2 do 4 dins 2nite

[17:55] jason_grace: Salmon with asparagus and rice?

[17:58] leo_valdez: damn chef grace out here [17:58] leo_valdez: yeah boi

[17:59] jason_grace: Okay, cool.

[18:38] jason_grace: Hey, Percy said he’d cook. Cool with you?

[18:43] leo_valdez: yeah np

[18:45] jason_grace: He might take a while, though, so I think we’ll be eating late tonight :/

[18:45] leo_valdez: ye its fine i ate late 2day

[22:24] jason_grace: How’s it smelling over there? I’m hungryy

[22:30] leo_valdez: lol i cant smell anything

[22:31] jason_grace: Omg lol. Do you think it’s your poor sense of smell smell or that nothing is cooking??? Haha

[22:31] leo_valdez: both lmfaooo

[22:32] jason_grace: Lol, okay.

[23:11] jason_grace: 11:11!

[23:14] leo_valdez: my wish is 2 eat

[23:15] jason_grace: Mood [23:19] jason_grace: I’ve died a million hungry deaths already. I may start to eat paper any minute. [23:19] jason_grace: It’s organic, right???

[23:20] leo_valdez: yeah totes gotta get on that #vegan #organic #freerange #localwoodonly trend [23:20] leo_valdez: ykno this shirt is made out f cotton????? thts a crop i cld totally eat this

[23:22] jason_grace: As long as you take tiny bites like a rabbit.

[23:22] leo_valdez: yeahhhhhhh [23:23] leo_valdez: i s2g im gonna eat percy if he doesnt tell me its fuckin ready soon

[23:23] jason_grace: Wait what’s s2g again? [23:23] jason_grace: Oh, nom.

[23:23] leo_valdez: swear to god

[23:23] jason_grace: Nvm*

[23:23] leo_valdez: NOM NOM I HUNGRY

[23:24] jason_grace: Lolzzzz.

[23:24] leo_valdez: thnks jace u rly gotta remind me ://////

[23:24] jason_grace: He’d probably be pretty tasty. [23:24] jason_grace: Remind you of what?

[23:24] leo_valdez: how hUNGRY I AM

[23:25] jason_grace: Nom nom nom I have no other words.

[23:25] leo_valdez: nom [mood in hungryspeak]

[23:26] jason_grace: Me nom.

[23:26] leo_valdez: i just saw th word omw and rly tht it said nom im losing my mind over here

[23:27] jason_grace: Our bellies could have been full hours ago. Savage.

[23:27] leo_valdez: ikr [23:27] leo_valdez: horrible

[23:29] jason_grace: Are tears edible???

[23:29] leo_valdez: hopefully im producing way 2 many of thm

[23:30] jason_grace: Sip slowly, I don’t want you getting full before we eat.

[23:30] leo_valdez: i gotchu [23:31] leo_valdez: trying 2 remind myself tht festus 2.0 is a living being and im not ready 2 b a murderer

[23:34] jason_grace: Oh honey. He wouldn’t be tasty. Too much fur.

[23:34] leo_valdez: u rite u rigt

[23:34] jason_grace: What were we thinking??? We know Percy well enough by now lmao. Sigh. Burp. Ugh.

[23:36] leo_valdez: im crying salmon

[23:37] jason_grace: Oh noooo why’d you have to say salmon?????

[23:38] leo_valdez: LMAOOOO

8. loves jason grace

Okay, okay.

You gotta keep this one a secret until Jason finds his journal again, okay? He doesn’t know I took it.

I’ve read through it a couple of times, and - damn is Jace a fucking sap. It’s a pity I love him.

No it’s not, who am I kidding.

Aha! That’s the first time I’ve written it down since I realized (which was… too long ago for me to feel comfortable admitting to).

If you didn’t get that, Jason: I love you, you piece of shit.

Ugh.

Fuck, whatever, maybe this thing is a prank and he doesn’t actually love me. Maybe this is a hallucination? Dad knows I’ve been spending way too much time in the Bunker, anyways. Maybe… who knows, honestly.

God, I’m tired.

Whatever. I hope he finds this soon, I’m tired of waiting, for Christ's sake.

See you soon, hopefully.

- leo valdez, the one & only

I love you too, Leo.

#partlycharlie #my fic #percy jackson #valgrace #@caitlyn #fun times #yeet

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