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bennyspengwing · 5 years ago

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One Fine Day

A/N: This is my first attempt at fan fiction in 5 years, it is also my first Henry Fic. I hope you like it.

Six months earlier *

It was November in Budapest. There was a bit of a chill in the air, I was visiting Henry as he was finishing up some work on the Witcher. I had gone back to the room to try and knock off the chill. Kal was cuddling with me on the couch as I was reading a book. His head soon turned its attention to the door, it meant someone or something was coming. He never missed a lick. Sure enough, it was Henry coming in, still in full Geralt gear from head to toe.

“Hmmm” I said looking at him as he towered over me. His 6’1 frame taking up my entire purview.

“Hey, that’s my line” he laughed cracking that million dollar grin that knocks me over every time and dropping a gentle kiss upon my forehead. He had put on a bit of bulk for this role, and I was not complaining in the least bit. It was especially endearing to his backside. I felt sorry for the girls in the wardrobe department. It seemed like those pants could barely contain that sweet ass.

“I think I have a coin or two to toss if you wanna shake that thing my way a little more, what say you Witcher” I insinuate with my eyes looking him up and down.

“Fuck” he growled, his eyes burning holes through me. “You are going to be the death of me some day Isabella” He leaned in for a deeper kiss. The frustration was obvious, he had to steady himself because he had to be back on set soon, and I had only kicked the hornets nest. He only used my whole name when I was in trouble. He turned on his heel and made a run for the door. I guess he had to get out while he still could or the wardrobe department was going to have some major malfunctions to repair. Not long after he left my phone buzzed, it was Joey.

Joey: What did you do to henry?

Bella: Im innocent…

Joey: *rolls eyes so hard he sees his brain* horses arse you are

Joey: I thought for a minute he was actually gonna stab someone with that sword!

Bella: Uh oh…

I tossed my phone beside me and gave Kal a disparaging look, “I’m in so much trouble buddy” I said giving him loving head rubs. He just gave a grunt.

Current day*

I’m sitting in front of the mirror thinking back on that night in Budapest. That was the night that Henry had proposed. I thought he was going to be so furious at the pent up frustration I had caused him, and after he came home that evening and us going out for a nice dinner, it ended with him declaring his true feelings. Him telling me how looking at me curled up happily with Kal on the sofa and just being there had showed him how much love he felt, and he just knew right then and there. I have been trying to plan as much as possible while he finished up filming and we decided to get married between his projects so we would have some time together.

Ever the perfect English gentleman he spent last night at his parents house, and I am a nervous wreck. My best friend flew in from the United States to be a bridesmaid along with Gal, and Amy, and being every on the forefront of things, I had Joey on my side because we were really close friends. I took a quick walk around to check everything out and make sure it was to my standards. I was a perfectionist. I almost broke down in tears at the sight of the cake. At the top were a little couple made to look like the two of us, and there was even a little copy of Kal holding watch beside his master, bowtie and all.

The time had come to walk down the aisle. The music was playing and I stood waiting for the doors to open to the bright future before me.

As the doors open I exhale, and I take a small step and look to my destination at the end of the aisle which seems to be stretching forever. Green eyes meet blue. He’s dressed in a black velvet tuxedo. My eyes water, and he chokes back his own tears. My big bear trying to hold back. He’s wearing the tuxedo that I told him he looked like a slice of cake in once on our wedding day, one point to you sir. I finally make the long walk and face him. I pass my flowers off and he takes my hands, his dwarfing my long thin pale ones. “You look like a princess” he grinned. One of those huge goofy grins he has when talking about his nerdy stuff.

“I guess that makes you my prince” I smiled.

After we exchanged vows and we faced the crowd for the first time as man and wife the happiness that exuded from him could not have shone brighter. For our first dance it was “Flightless Bird, American Mouth.” We floated across the dance floor like we were on air.

He loved the cake, he even gave Kal a tiny little bite because he was such a good boy. The night came to a close with us taking pictures, and this is where Henry would find his moment. He had met with the photographer and all the guys had gotten together to wear superhero t-shirts under their tuxedos. When she said go, they all ripped their shirts open, Henry was wearing a Superman one. The moment was priceless. Joey was the Flash. A perfectly timed moment to capture forever the moment that Lois Lane really got to marry Superman.

#henry cavill #fanfiction #henryxOFC

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idiiomatic-a-blog · 7 years ago

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I’m a travesty for not having watched batman v. superman because I know Diana is in it but i don’t like batman.

#i hate ben afleck as batman lmao #i love superman and stuff #but I JUST #i really need to watch that tho for more info on wonder woman #also i plan on reading the comics #but #bless #i just #wish i had known how gr8 wonder woman was before this movie #also gal gadot #im

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sis-tafics · 7 years ago

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12 Years of Christmas - 2015

An Our Little Secret Accompaniment

Summary: Dean and you get a Christmas surprise

Series Masterlist

12 Year’s of Christmas Masterlist

Characters: Dean, Sam, Reader, +1 more

Pairings: Dean x Reader

Prompt: Mistletoe

Word Count: 1400

Warnings:language, Dean’s POV, smut, fluff

A/N: Thank you so much for reading. This is for @thing-you-do-with-that-thingand @like-a-bag-of-potatoes 12 Days of Christmas Challenge. Thank you to @atc74 for looking this over and the cover aesthetic

Dammit. I can’t get this last present to wrap right, the fucker won’t look neat no matter what I do.

I toss it on the bed, fuck it all. Figures, the one present I can’t wait to give Y/N, I can’t even fucking wrap.

There’s a knock on the door, “Am I allowed in yet?”

I scoff, giving up, “Yeah.”

The door opens and she leans against the door jam in her robe, hair still wet from her shower, looking from the ball of wrapping paper to me, “Do you need some help there?”

I get up, crossing the room to her, placing my hands on her hips and pulling her against me, “I don’t know how the fuck you wrap stuff that isn’t square.”

She winks, “It’s my one superpower, don’t tell anyone.”

I hook my finger under her chin, pressing my lips to hers. She sighs, and I nip at her bottom lip, and her arms wrap around my neck, “I think you’ve got a couple of those sweetheart, especially in here.”

I spin her suddenly, lifting her up between me and the wall and she squeaks, grabbing my shirt, surprised as her legs wrap around me, “Dean, we so don’t have time.”

“I’ve always got time for you…Sam’s got it,” I growl as I kiss her neck, nipping at her soft skin. The first few months there is no way I would have said that, but fuck, I practically have to wrestle him every night now.

“I feel bad,” she laughs, but it turns into a moan as I suck a mark above her collarbone.

“Don’t,” I mumble against her skin. And yeah, I kinda feel guilty about it, but when she looks like this, I can’t help it.

Her fingers tangle in my hair, pulling me back up and she kisses me, and it’s like it punches the air out of my damn lungs. Her tongue slides against mine and, fuck, when she kisses me like this it always feels like home.

I grab the back of her thighs, hiking her up higher, “Sweetheart.”

She smiles against my lips as I shove my boxers down. She holds tight to me and I reach between us, brushing my fingers over her pussy. Fuck, she’s already wet. I line myself up, pressing the tip into her.

She groans, letting her hips sink down, taking me little by little. My stomach muscles clench and my eyes shut, fuck she feels so good, so wet and warm. I bury my face against her neck as she stretches around me, that vanilla mixed with the apple body wash filling my nose.

“Dean,” she whispers in my ear.

I lift my head, finding her lips, kissing her deeply and I can never get enough of her, I don’t think I ever will.

She rocks her hips and I snap mine, thrusting into her, losing myself. I push her back against the wall, holding her there. As good as she feels around me, as much as I like that, it’s the little noises that get me. It’s the way she says my name and swears in between gasps, the way she moans and whines and fuck it makes me so hard it almost hurts.

Then she is coming undone around me, her head smacking back against the wall with a soft thud. I nip at her neck as she pulls me over the edge, my dick jumping inside of her, my hips jutting up on their own as her name gets caught in my throat.

She’s still shuddering as I set her down on her feet gently, resting my forehead against hers, “You alright?”

“A little more than alright,” she giggles.

Her fingers cup my cheek, and she stands on tiptoes to kiss me, “I’m going to get dressed and then we can get a move on.”

“I don’t know why you’re worried you aren’t the one that has to get up early and cook tomorrow,” I tease, not wanting to let her go.

“I am the one that is going to have to get your ass out of bed though,” she grabs her jeans off the dresser, “And I want to point out, I did go and get the turkey.”

I work around her, grabbing my clothes and sliding into them, “Is that all we have left to do?”

She pulls the sweater over her head, “Um, I still have to wrap one more of Sam’s presents and that should be it. I’ll put everything under the tree in the morning. Well, if you are done with that one.”

I pull her up against me, “Are you making fun of my wrapping abilities?”

She smiles, “If you can make fun of my cooking, I can make fun of your wrapping.”

“Okay, fine,” I kiss her one more time, we really do need to get moving even if I don’t want to.

She takes my hand, pulling me behind her and down the hall, towards the library where we can hear Sam talking and laughing.

He hears us coming, “Dean! Y/N! Get in here!”

Immediately my heart jumps into my throat, my first reaction is always that something is wrong. Y/N squeezes my hand, she’s way better at this than me, way more calm. But she lets go of my hand and let’s me rush through the war room and up the two steps.

Sam is sitting on the ground in front of a chair, Evie in her little green dress, crawling on his legs, all smiles as he plays with her.

“Oh, hey Dean, you gotta see this man,” he shifts so he is kneeling, setting her on the ground so she can see me and her smile grows. Y/N says she looks like me, but other than the green eyes, she’s all her, down to the damn dimples.

She swings her little hands around and Sam holds his out and she uses it to stand up. She started doing that about a month or so ago, using all the tables and anything else she could get her hands on to move around the room.

“Go get daddy,” Sam looks up at me and I move closer, kneeling down a little way across the room, holding my hand out.

“Come on peanut.”

She babbles, giggling before taking off, or at least trying to, making it four or five steps before wiping out. But she doesn’t cry, she’s never been a crier, just looks all kinds of pissed and pushes herself up the best she can, scooting the rest of the distance until I scoop her up, pulling her against my chest, “Look at you go…Yeah you get that look from your mom.”

“Hey now,” Y/N chides and I turn, she’s watching from the doorway, smiling softly.

“I didn’t say that was a bad thing.”

Evelyn squirms in my arms, reaching for Y/N. I take the few steps over, handing her off and Y/N holds her against her hip as Evie plays, well yanks, on her hair.

Y/N rubs her nose against hers playfully, smiling, “You are all kinds of trouble…Not that that is stopping Santa from bringing you a ton of presents.”

She’s not wrong, I thought I went a little crazy, but Sam had gone off the rails, I’d seen the pile of wrapped gifts in the garage. She’s going to make it through like five and pass the fuck out, but oh well. It’s so going to be worth it.

I watch them and remember where I’m standing, “Y/N.”

She looks at me and I nod up, and her eyes travel up to the mistletoe hanging in the doorway. She shakes her head, grinning, “Any excuse Winchester.”

“Damn right,” I wrap my arm around her waist, pulling her close carefully as she holds Evelyn against her side. I dip down and kiss her, cupping her chin and deepening it.

I nip at her lips and she smiles against mine, “Knock it off or you’ll be on the naughty list.”

“Is that a promise?”

“Alright you two, knock it off,” Sam grumbles, coming over and taking Evie from Y/N, talking to her as he lifts her in the air, “Your mom and dad keep that up and we’ll end up with another one of you. I don’t know if your Uncle Sam can handle that.”

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#kari and ida's 12 days of christmas challenge #our little secret #dean x reader #dean winchester x reader #dean x you #dean winchester x you #dean x y/n #dean winchester x y/n #dean #dean drabble

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avicebro · 7 years ago

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Hello Pollux! Can you explain your OTP tags?

This is something people want? Lol okay:

This includes League of Legends and Fate.

Fate:

otp: be my queen | richard/ayaka

reference to the fact that richard is continuously trying to get ayaka to be his master. since they are master/servant and i like them romantically it turns from “be my master” to “be my queen”. a good otp 10/10 narita when will you ever.

otp: avenger and ruler | edmond dantes/amakusa shirou

i hope this is obvious. it’s an avenger and a ruler. demonstrates the fact that they’re polar opposites but still good as a ship.

otp: dragon slayers | siegfried/saint george

reference to how they work really well together in defeating wyverns in fate/grand order. may include kojiro if i find some siegfried/kojiro art i like.

otp: thief and executioner | robin hood/charles henri sanson

i like these two, especially in the salem chapter. the ship name is reference to their roles: one is a thief, one is an executioner. i was also thinking of giving them a title like “the new fruk” cause that’s basically what they are lol.

otp: im a self insert | guda/fgo character

any art of a guda and a fate grand order character. mainly avicebron and dantes because that’s who i ship myself with. more characters may join eventually but im very gay.

otp: casters of opposing factions | avicebron/william shakespeare

in apocrypha they’re the casters for the opposing factions. in fate grand order they seem to keep this dislike for each other.

otp: a new isolde | tristan/melt

ok i haven’t seen the full ccc event yet but basically tristan compares melt to isolde so yeah she’s a new isolde for him. i don’t like how fate writes her name (isseult?) so we’re going with this spelling.

otp: i’ll make you tsar | kadoc/anastasia

this is kadoc’s plan in lostbelt, to make her tsar of the lostbelt. that doesn’t really happen though but they’re in love okay?????

otp: hate at first sight | kirei/kiritsugu

i was tempted to call them “beautiful ties” as a pun on their names but decided against it. hate at first sight because that’s what happened. get along you two.

otp: president and princess | rin/issei

their roles at school. proud captain of the rissei ship. i will love this ship by myself if i have to.

otp: like cats and dogs | gilgamesh/cu chulainn

this is because of ip. go through her gilcu tag. i swear you’ll come out a different person. gilcu is a good ship. they’re a cat and a dog.

otp: i hate everything you stand for | hansa/jester

hansa and jester both hate each other because of who they are. jester despises those from the church, hansa hates dead apostles. they’re fun.

otp: l’auteur malfaisant | edmond dantes/dumas

this is just what dantes calls him, “the wicked author” but in french. love these two so fucking much. if you want me to be happy just mention eddumas.

otp: beast like me | caren/angra mainyu

in hollow ataraxia, it’s stated that they are both beasts: caren for being born “out of wedlock” and angra mainyu because he’s all the evils of the world. they are both beasts by birth, and must deal with the sins from being called a beast. also a big otp.

otp: sad a lot | tristan/lancelot

i was originally calling this ship “tristalot” which sounds like “triste a lot” which is french for “sad a lot”.

otp: up until this moment my wish was being granted | medea/souichirou

OTP TO RULE ALL OTPS. god i love these two. it’s a reference to what medea says in UBW when she dies. man i love these two so much.

otp: the jewel resting near my heart | rin/shirou

reference to the pendent rin gives shirou. may include rin/archer i’m not sure yet.

otp: let’s destroy the world! | kirei/gilgamesh

wow this is late on the list lol. the ship name is what they wanna do. kirei route when nasu.

otp: on the defense | hector/alter cu chulainn

both of them are known for being defensive characters, both in playstyle and in personality. they’re old, tired men let them nap.

otp: i may not always be by your side | issei/shirou

this is a line issei tells shirou in prillya. love these guys a lot. especially with rin.

otp: sword and sheath | saber/shirou

that’s what they are. saber is the sword and shirou is the sheath. no sexual jokes please. like them romantically and as friends.

otp: my wish is for her to live | medusa/sakura

purple girlfriends. love them. love heaven’s feel. reference to a line medusa tells shirou.

otp: my superman | sakura/shirou

OTP TO RULE ALL OTPS. the best ship in stay night with kuzucaster. i love heaven’s feel so much. they were what got me into drawing. i love them so much. reference to the superman scene in HF.

otp: two too pretty boys | diarmuid/gilgamesh

this is 100% because they are attractive guys. that is it. the ship name shows this.

otp: you cursed me | emiya alter/kiara

don’t @ me i like these two. emiya alter an alter because of kiara, hence the ship name.

otp: you were literally made for me | gilgamesh/enkidu

I DON’T HATE THIS SHIP WHY WOULD I TAG AND REBLOG IT SO MUCH IF I HATED THIS SHIP? I simply stated that I am tired of seeing it so much in the f/sf tags. I do like these two shhh. name is a reference to the fact that kidu was made for gil.

otp: lance to the heart and you’re to blame | kirei/cu chulainn

hello i love kotoyari. reference to the UBW ending. feb 14 isn’t valentines day it’s kotoyari day.

otp: your dream is mine | kiritsugu/irisviel

i can’t talk about this ship without crying just know i love them. iri wishes for his dream to come true.

otp: i wanted a saber anyways | rin/saber

just gals being pals you know . and originally rin wanted a saber.

otp: the woman was a saint | kirei/claudia

im not crying you’re crying. a line in the VN.

otp: you remind me of someone | paracelsus/phantom

no this isn’t just because they’re pretty boys lol. like the idea of them being good friends who help each other when the other goes berserk.

otp: dancing with the devil | mephistopheles/paracelsus

there’s a lot of cool/interesting ship art between these two that’s really cool and i love. love the idea of them adopting jack.

otp: fist of the north star to the heart | saint martha/sasaki kojiro

just wait until the summer event. love how koji has joined the dragon slayer’s group. hope he enjoys his new friends. you have to fight her at one point for koji’s development. it’s a joke about how her np is a fist of the north star joke.

otp: calm desert nights | nitocris/scheherazade

reference to lalalack’s ‘desert beauty’ piece. they spend those nights in the desert exchanging stories, calming each other down.

otp: how about we put it to the test? | li shuwen/beowulf

what beowulf says to li shuwen before they start their fight. they like to beat each other up and it’s great.

otp: beat up a pretty face | beowulf/fionn mac cumhaill

who has the pretty face is up to you. reference to how fionn looks ephemeral in the beofionn art.

otp: a king and his knight | diarmuid/fionn

it’s their roles. yeah i know fionn “killed” him it’s fun.

my chivalrous knight | diarmuid/saber

who is the knight and who is chivalrous? up to you!

otp: blue knights | cu chulainn/saber

only two people ship this there’s only two posts i wanna die

a queen and her knight | saber/irisviel

based on when saber acts as her knight (aka all of fate/zero) in f/z. doesn’t have otp cause i’m lazy.

ot3: church trio | gilgamesh/kirei/cu chulainn

they live in the church lol.

ot3: we could have had it alllllll | sieg/jeanne d’arc/astolfo

based on the fact that apocrypha could have easily juggled the three of these into an ot3 but nope.

ot3: my two friends | gilgamesh/enkidu/kirei

there is only 1 piece of fanart in this tag but it’s a very good piece of fanart

ot3: this could have worked really well tbqh | kirei/gilgamesh/tokiomi

team archer could have been good if kirei didn’t get his dick sucked by gilgamesh.

ot3: princess president and prince | rin/issei/shirou

their roles - i think shirou should be a prince. i just really love rissei and shissei so why not combine them into an ot3 y/y?

group tag: aesthetic of death | gilles de rais, uryuu ryuunosuke, jeanne alter, prelati

i love these guys a lot okay? a lot of gilles/ryu because canon otp. was supposed to be art of death because of ryuunosuke's CE but it was mistranslated and i'm too lazy to change it!

group tag: equipe francaise | d’eon, marie, mozart, sanson

they are cute but this tag is pushed by my thirst for mozart. the tag means “french team” which is basically what they are right?

brotp: my retainer | waver velvet/alexander the great

im sorry i can’t ship this romantically but they are cute together!

brotp: troy's defense | penthesilea, hektor

these two are good bros who break pots together and will rip achilles' open

League of Legends:

otp: spin to win | katarina/garen

this is about gameplay. garen is known for his e, which is a spin. the joke “spin to win” comes from that ability. since katarina also has a spin, spin to win works for these two.

otp: drasona | draven/sona

it’s just their ship name lol.

otp: takes two to tango | evelynn/twisted fate

reference to the twisted fate and evelynn shared tango skins. such a good ship. i love them and twisted fate/graves. league of legends please do something with these two i stg.

otp: partners in crime | twisted fate/graves

man this is the best lol ship man i wish lol would do anything with this ship that would be great i love my gay men. and they’re working together again! nice!

otp: the sun shines for you | leona/pantheon

i don’t know what lol is doing with these two if if they’re actually gonna be together and i love diana/leona too but i’ve always had a soft spot for these two. also? a great bot lane if you can stomp early.

otp: it’s called art | jinx/jhin

to be honest i just think these two would be hilarious. let them just do whatever they want in piltover.

otp: collecting souls | thresh/kalista

aesthetic and also a great botlane. i just love kalista tbh. ghost wife.

otp: trying to keep the balance | shen/zed

wow the first otp for league of legends. good shit guys hope you guys get more content soon.

If a ship you know I like is not on this list it’s probably just tagged as the ship name! I’m probably going to go through and create tags for each ship like these as I think of them. If you have suggestions for ship names let me know!

#ship tags

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smokeybrand · 7 years ago

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This is Snyder

I don’t care for Zack Snyder. I don’t hate his craft as much as i hate Michael Bay, Snyder actually tries to make good movies, but i don’t find his schlock entertaining. He’s not a bad director, i guess, but his movies are always scatter-brained messes. I think Snyder is more a creative than a crafter. He’s the guy you want in your development stages, throwing out ideas and boarding those massive action scenes. If i were to equate him to a sports analogy, Snyder is the Offensive Coordinator on an American Football team. He’s the guy that builds the visual aspects of your scenes, the car who sets up the set pieces. He’s Mr. Battlemaster, the Attack Master, the guy you call in to adds little spice to your drama and conflict laden plot, not the guy you give the keys to an entire cinematic universe where you have to humanize godlike heroes. Emotional subtlety has never been Snyder’s strong point. Since the only DCEU film that was passable was Wonder Woman, the one flick that Snyder didn’t really have his hands on too much, i wanted to take some time and kind of dissect why i hate almost everything Snyder has ever made.

Dawn of the Dead

It’s been years since i’ve seen this movie but i recall enjoying it considerably. But it’s a zombie movie. And it wasn’t written by Snyder. That’s going to be a running theme in this; Other people’s stuff, Snyder is okay. His own stuff, not so much... Zack was only a Director on this flick which meas he just got to bring a script to life. He just got to pick the best scenes and build a cool looking movie. That’s Snyder at his best and it shows. For my money, DoD is his best film.

300

This was his breakthrough. 300 lends itself to Snyder’s style even more than DoD. The comic it’s based on is literally revisionist history written by 80s comic madman, Frank Miller. It is literally a series of splash pages with cool sh*t on them. In comic book speak, it’s literally a series of action set pieces. Splash pages are used to fill every inch of paper with dynamic, poignant, information. When every page of your book is a splash page, it conveys a sense of aggressive action. That is right up Snyder’s alley. There’s no room for plot or character development but that slow-mo buster kick to that persion dude was crazy dope, son! “THIS! IS! SPARTA!” It’s also a superficial, special FX laden, popcorn movie that is borderline sexist with all of the half naked dudes about but still, i had a good time.

Watchmen

Watchmen was the first Snyder movie i saw where i realized he was kind of out of his depth. Dude did his best to bring this unfimable story to the screen, and in some spots i think he did a really good job (Comedian’s arc was okay and that change toward the end made all of the sense to me) but overall, it lacked the emotional, philosophical, and political depth from the source material, you know, literally the reason why Watchmen is so goddamn brilliant. Snyder shot this movie like a mid 2000s cape flick. Think Raimi’s Spider-Man or X2 but infinitely more superficially, which is ridiculous because the Watchmen novel is infinitely more rich. WB kind of let up on Snyder’s leash a bit and he focused way too much on the sh*t that shouldn’t have been focused on. At it’s core, Watchmen is a character study of those old timey 80s archetypes and an indictment of the destructive materialism infecting society at that time. There’s a visceral moral question that my brother and i argue about all of the time and i believe Snyder stuck the landing, but he kept falling off the bar to get there.

Sucker Punch

Sucker Punch is one of the worst movies i have ever seen. The mechanics, the technical aspects of this movie, are just the worst. I can go into how this is basically a shittier version of Inception with the dream in a dram aspects or how that sh*t doesn’t make any sense in the movies established lore or timeline. I can go into how this thing technically takes place in between the five minutes that Babydoll is being moved from her cell to the lobotomy chair so none of it matter or how f*cking ridiculous it is that this woman’s name is f*cking “Babydoll”. Sucker Punch is wildly problematic and i’ve written at length about how i feel about it before, i think, but my point with this entry is to high light how messy this movie feels. This is Snyder wit h no brakes. This is Snyder unleashed, When left to his own design. THIS, Sucker Punch, is the type of movie Zack Syder wants to make. He wanted to explore the psychology behind being in such dire straights, the emotional and psychological rationale of those terrible circumstances but he also wanted naked chick, a dragon, and giant robot samurai in it. How does that work? You can’t put Nazi Zombies in Girl, Interrupted, man. that dog don’t hunt. i know because Sucker Punch tried it and IT was AWFUL!

The DCEU

I thought about doing these thing individually but considering he basically directed all of these f*cking movies (except Wondy) i can lump them all into one entry. WB mistook the success of the Grimdark Nolan Batman Trilogy as audiences wanted a bunch of edgelord superheroes. So they gave the Batman Begins treatment to f*cking Superman. And, to bring this car crash of an idea to the big screen, they give the reigns to Snyder. I don’t like Superman. I think he’s a terrible hero. How do you right him? What aspects do you focus on when the guy and turn back time by flying real fast? How do you make that asshole compelling? Snyder’s solution? Uncle Ben his ass! Guilt trip him into becoming the world’s savior! sh*t’s lazy son! Man of Steel was adequate though. it was good enough for the WB suits to hand the entire reigns of the DCEU over to this asshat and, oh boy, was that dumb! My chick is the biggest Superman fan and she hated this movie. For her, someone versed in the Kal-El mythos, this was an affront. From what little i know about Supes, i’d agree.

SO Snyder double-downs on his Batmanfication of Superman by literally introducing Batman into a Superman story. BvS is an abortion of a film. It destroys the archetype of what all of these heroes represent. Batman is a psychopath killer. Superman is a morose pussy. Lex Luthor is the goddamn Riddler from Batman Forever. It’s a goddamn mess. Which sucks because, at it’s core, there are a lot of good ideas here. I liked how Luthor was more Zuckerburg than Rockefeller. I liked the introduction of Wonder Woman, even if it felt a little forces at times. I liked at the whole “Punished Messiah” story line for Supes, even if it never got deeper than a puddle. I hated everything else. Everything was just too Snyder-y. Cool sh*t to look at as opposed to deep sh*t to identify with. But that’s what happens when you forgone character development for mech fights and a Doomsday story line that should have bookend a phase one of pictures. Seriously, Doomsday in the second goddamn movie of your fledgling franchise? No! no, im not going to get into that. We’ll address that later.

Suicide Squad was a goddamn mess. I know David Ayer directed that, and one day i hope we get to see that sh*t, but the studio brought Snyder in to fix what they felt was an unwatchable film. Seriously, Snyder is considered a “guest Director” on that film and it shows. Justice League is the same way but Joss Whedon kind of added a bunch of levity to this ridiculous film. While i think Justice League is trash, i also believe it’s the second best that the DCEU has produced, mostly because there was reprieve to ll of Snyder’s grimdark bullsh*t. Whedon was able to bring out the best of these characters. I eve liked Superman in this and i f*cking hate Superman. But that’s kind of my point. If you remove Snyder from the equation, you get solid sh*t! like Wonder Woman!

Everything about Wonder Woman screams dope. It reminds me of a Phase one MCU outing, which is a fitting tone for Diana’s adventures. It’s not a perfect movie, there area ton of issues with it, but overall, it is a delight. I think Gal Gadot gave her best performance and someone finally used Chris Pine in an advantageous manner. I think going full on Ares was a mistake but, in the context of the world, i get it. I thought this was a decent ride until the end. The climax was whack. Seeing as how Snyder is credited as a writer, i assume he wrote this part because it feels wildly Snyderish. Literally the worst pat of this film is the ending. Tonally, it’s ridiculous. It doesn’t fit. It’s poorly executed. But it’s fun to watch, i guess. That’s Snyder in a nutshell.

Ultimately, putting this guy in charge of the entire DCEU, which wanted to be a direct competitor to the MCU, was a mistake. His vision is ridiculous. He has too many ideas for any one film and with no one to reel that in, you get the mess that we have now. There are certain things that needed to happen in order for the DCEU to be relevant, to be good. Snyder doesn’t have the patience to execute like this though. He doesn’t want to put in the time to world build. He just wants to throw awesome looking sh*t on screen and move on. That, a good movie, does not make. If i had a say, i’d probably loosely follow the MCU Phases. That sh*t worked and gave ample time to develop a proper story. As an example, i’d have done something like this:

Phase One - Trinity

Movie 0: House of El. Prequel to the entire DCEU set in the final days of Krypton. You could establish all of the requisite Supermann necessities while also planting seeds for Brainiac, Doomsday, Apokolips, and Darkseid. This would be the backbone for the first three phases of your DCEU. Think Star Wars but with Krpytonians instead of Jedi.

Movie 1: The Batman or Gotham, dunno about that title yet, Definitely a Year one or Year Two Bat-story. I’d want to introduce The Long Halloween arc. Make it a noir, focus on the assumed Batman doing his detective thing, until the climax which would be an amalgamation of No Man’s Land and The Man Who Laughs. Like, Joker is holding the city hostage and all of the holiday murders were a distraction while he planted his trap. Batman would have to choose between his morals or vengeance in the end.

Movie 2: Superman Sequel. Calling this one Man of Steel as it would have both Superman and Metallo as the primary antagonist. I figure having Clark and Corbin duke it out makes for a clever title, you know? You can introduce Luthor as the mastermind, secretly collaborating with his miraculous AI that turns out to be Brainiac. Deathstroke could be hired muscle. Cadmus can be introduced. You get to see the introduction of Superman on a world wide scale as he and Metallo duke it out in the open. This would feel like that old Superman cartoon on the WB way back when. Light-hearted yet serious tone. Actual stakes. Sub plot of Lois figuring out Luthor is the reason all of the trauma occurs.

Movie 3: Wonder Woman. It will probably be a period peace set against WW1. It would pit her against Aries and the preconceptions of women during those bleaker times. The battle would be against disillusionment; trying to find a reason why Man should be defended or something of that nature. Wonder Woman would be more or less what we already got from Patty Jenkins, with a much better ending. Like, an actual pgysical fight with Aries seems dumb. If we have to go that course because of executive meddling, at least cast a better Ares. Make him more menacing and less inept. Motherboxes and a bit more of Apokolips will be introduced in this movie.

Movie 4: World’s Finest. Basically Batman against Superman while WW actually solves the real issues behind the scene. Like, she uncovers the underlying plot of the Motherboxes and actually tries to prepare for the coming of Steppenwolf. I really like the idea of Wonder Woman adapting her skill set to covert ops kind of like Motoko Kusanagi does. Also, you know, dudes is dumb and punchy. While Supes and Bats are having their tiff, Steppenwolf actually appears and engages the two of them. Ultimately, Wonder Woman arrives and the three of them, the Trinity, send ol boy packing back to Apokolips and the Motherboxes go dead. The Trinity is established, the seeds of Apokolips have been sown, and we can move into Phase Two - Justice League with the first movie of the lot; Death of Superman. Opening with the sidelining of the most powerful hero opens up a reason for Batman, having an established relationship with Winder Woman and Superman, realizing there are bigger things out there and a team might be necessary to combat them.

See, four movies, five if you count the Krypton prequel, and you’ve established the world, the main characters, the underlying conflict, and you have room to grow. You’ve developed characters, established the backbone to your entire universe, and given each of your principal heroes, Batman, Superman, ad Wonder Woman, their own outing, in the vein of their own themes. Grimdark works for Batman because he IS grimdark. Sh*t doesn’t fly with Superman or Wonder Woman. Diana is a warrior, set her story to the backdrop of a conflict to showcase her strengths. Superman wold spend his time trying to save Metallo, not murder him at the end of the goddamn movie because Supes is about believing in the good, not killing troubled assholes. Snyder didn’t have the patience to do this. He wasn’t building anything. He just wanted to put cool sh*t on the screen while trying to make everything dark and deep. He failed at both.

In closing, i don’t think Zack Snyder is a terrible director. I don’t. I think he has too may ideas and no one to reel him in when left to his own devices. When he is making someone else’s material, when he has a guidelines to follow and people keeping his rampant creative energy in check, he can be pretty good at his job, a la DOD or 300. Hell, i’d even give him Watchmen. But, left to his own devices, we get nonsense like Sucker Punch and BvS. Zack Snyder is everything that’s wrong with modern American cinema and it galls me to the core.

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johnnythirteenguns · 7 years ago

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just seen justice league (this isnt spoiler free at all)

also went to thor: ragnarok for the third time to wash the taste out.

so i went to go see it for miller, momoa, and mera in that order. i was super impressed with mera. i thought they were gonna go the like easy way and give her an Accent like the amazons, but they didnt. even though her cadence was different like idk man i know very little about dc but i picked up a one-shot earlier this year where mera neatly beats the fuck out of the justice league on her own and she’s a semi-jerk who kind of hates surface dwellers and you know what for the thirty seconds we had her onscreen i believed it and she was powerful and felt like a character with backstory and i COMPLETELY didnt hear what aquaman was saying i just heard her side of the conversation

man ben affleck really doesnt wanna be here huh anyway we should recast him at the earliest convenience

also why was batman 90% CGI like fine i get it no one can be a gymnast in a 50 lb rubber suit but like every single one of his moves that required any bending had to have been cgi

speaking of which the cgi isnt like bad in and of itself it’s just typical like it’s the cgi youre used to seeing. it doesnt blend seamlessly into anything and the characters dont blend seamlessly into it. the cornfield looks fake as can fucking be and i dont really know why? what else there was another fucking weird cgi moment. anyway, steppenwolf is ugly as sin and has no emotion and is all one color and is??? generally weird looking

speaking of which. he is not frightening at all. the New Gods isnt something casual dc fans are gonna be familiar with (i am barely familiar with it) and like? apparently, darkseid was supposed to have scenes in this but didnt? anyway go see thor ragnarok which features 1) a horned villain that is legitimately terrifying and powerful, that you fully believe can do the things she does, and who is beautifully designed and 2) features glow-y eyed masses of disposable soldiers that are cool but goofy and dont take themselves too seriously but were still frightening and made for thrilling fights because you believed they could actually pose a threat to the characters they were attacking

the beginning... uh i think like three scenes of the film looked pretty good, but they looked like cutscenes. very GOOD cutscenes, but honestly... if i wanted it to look like this id have played... a video game. like, i want it to look like a real place even if it’s heavily stylized. uh but the first showdown where batman is luring a parademon out looks beautiful if fake as shit. the scene with wondy in the bank (which features a group of girls from an all-girls school... at a bank?) and terrorists wearing cheap pinstripe suits (like, this is fine! it’s nonsensical and stupid but fine it’s a comic book movie) was kind of cool because for once i felt like... maybe diana was a creative person who goes in wit ha strategy? like picking the dude up with the lasso and holding him up was fun i was like oh!!! thats not something a typical movie would do! it was the first time she felt like Wonder Woman to me (ive seen the wondy movie itself, it was... eh). uh and idk what was up with the standing on the scales of justice or whatever idk the hilarity of gal gadot on that statue which sits on top of a bank like. it was funny.

hey question what the uh... fuck was the “what are you” “a believer” line about it made zero sense in context at all

dont quote me on the order of scenes i dont remember fuck all of this movie in order because literally, the pacing was so weird. so... it was very obvious there were parts missing from the movie. not like, cuts made where you could be like oh there was something there or maybe there'll be a deleted scene no like you Knew there was stuff that was necessary that was gone. the football scenes with victor from the trailers were gone!!! i think the movie was trying to set up a really strong friendship with wonder woman and cyborg but it never really went anywhere? and i suspect because it all got cut! and i dont understand why because ray did a really good job and he sold cyborg to me so well i loved his take!

also... i dont know if theyre saving it for the aquaman movie next year but did Arthur get a bunch of his stuff cut too? because i like jason momoa, and i like his arthur and so im sort of torn because, like, he didnt have much to do. like, he has the bit where he sits on wonder woman’s lasso of thruth and tells them all this stuff but you dont know enough about him for any of it to land? but i really wanted to know more (at some point i did give up on, this was a very passive viewing experience). my friend was saying that like literally why did they try to make arthur so Cool he’s already jason momoa he is by default cool now you can do whatever you want with him we’re all going to love him.

speaking of the lasso scene... was the entire last half of the movie re-writen and re-shot by whedon because like? the lasso scene is a whedon. the bit at the end where wondy goes “children. i work with children” is a whedon (THERE’S NO REASON FOR HER TO SAY THIS? I THINK THIS WHEN SHE HAS TWO TEAM MEMBERS LIKE LAYING ON THE GROUND AFTER NEARLY BEING BLON UP? IT WAS FUCKING WEIRD). i genuinely cant tell if all of barry’s dialogue was written by whedon or if that was ezra improvising but uh... man he’s... he needs to practice if that’s hm. if it’s just whedon i mean fine but he also doesnt have the shitty RDJ quality thats let’s him say those lines with believability.

speaking of which, going to see barry was my priority because apparently im gay for miller rn so like. uh. man he wasnt funny like there were a couple parts where he was cute and the line landed and it was fine but generally he just... wasnt funny? because the movie wasnt funny? like... idk man ezra really acting his heart out and ive said like cool i wanna follow his career and see if he does good stuff and gets even better at his stupid art but maybe he peaked with credence barebone i dont know. the first scene where we meet barry, with the flash pad and the pizza, that was good, that was funny. the bit at the prison was good. he has very soft eyes and thats nice. the panic attack is cute in the clip and the beginning like rhrgrh moment he has is good but then idk the pacing falls apart again

why is his character like this? i just dont think ezra’s... funny enough yet. (tbh i think he takes it too seriously even if he’s trying to be light-hearted man sometimes jokes is just jokes). there’s a bit where theyre digging up superman’s body and it’s JUST HIM AND CYBORG FOR UH? SOME REASON? maybe they explained why they sent the two babies but i didnt hear it and it’s literally just them two. and he tries to fistbump victor but vic is like “no” and tbh barry is annoying? like maybe u think he’s cute and an audience member but he’s uh... you can tell he’s annoying in the story and anyway then the flash says “right, racially charged” ABOUT A FISTBUMP? WHICH? LITERALLY MADE NO SENSE? WAS THIS LINE IMPROVISED? WAS IT WRITTEN? IM GONNA PUT MONEY ON IMPROVISED BECAUSE HE IS EXACTLY THAT KIND OF STUPID BITCH

if they were breaking into the lab why even bother going through the front door? barry drives the thing in (theyre trying to smuggle superman’s body into star labs) disguised a soldier (the literally most unconvincing thing, not to me as an audience member, because it was cute and funny to me,, but that a guy with THAT FACE is military like yeah sure, why did that guard believe him) but then they get to like the normal ass parking inside and the other three are standing there in full costume in full grey DC-brand daylight? are you telling me between 5/6ths of the justice league they couldnt sneak in a fucking pine box when wonder woman can lift a fucking tank on her own? like.

speaking of which uh.... superman is stupidly overpowered. like i said i read an issue of JL where mera hands every one of the justice league members their own gently roasted ass in hand on her fucking own. diana regularly kicks superman in the head. why was she not able to take him down? when theyre fighting steppenwolf for real it’s not until superman shows up that they even have a real fighting chance. they dont fight as team, they dont even fight as people casually unified in a common cause. theyre playing high-stakes legos and cyborg gets pulled away from them like three times?? and it gets fucking annoying? and then supes shows up and literally wipes the floor with him. it is so completely bizarre and stupid.

here’s a problem i still have with wonder woman: why is she so thin? the other amazons (except Hippolyta and maybe one other one) look built as FUCK? LIKE THESE WOMEN COULD EASILY TOSS ME ACROSS THE ROOM. wonder woman has serious fucking arms, where are they

also those amazon bikinis were bad. the whole styling of this movie is bad, but especially the amazons. everything is red and gold, for some reasons? the outfits dont looks heavy like armor, they look heavy like bullshit material. there is no reason for the fucking bikinis. the gold cloak hippolyta wears is??? heavy and looks like? like drapes like window dressing like thats the weight of it. additionally, there is no reason for their hair to be SO STYLED. it’s really like prom night hair it’s like shiny and muss free and always loose and in perfect clearly salon-styled curls. also, why are they so heavily made up? it’s really prominent. wondy herself has the same issue going on, she looks much more heavily made up (why is everyone’s blush so PINK, like it's distracting, is this a side effect of the recoloring process) and her hair isnt loose and doing its thing like in BVS or Wonder Woman it’s like... idk she looks really. Pretty when she’s on the field and it makes no sense.

the amazon fighting style is still ugly and makes no sense ive never seen such a wasteful fighting style it made sense exactly once during Wonder Woman

why is themyscira entirely the ugliest cgi i have ever fucking scene

why does the camera INSIST ON MOVING LIKE THAT. the action is super hard to track, the cgi is ugly as fuck (it really cannot be overstated)... i made it to about... i want to say when theyre on the way to the big fight and then the combined everything gave me a heaache that o had for the rest of the movie

i mentioned earlier that the pacing is weird the transitions are also weird. you get cuts to and from places that never fade into each other, it’s always a hard jump cut but it’s never the right cut to make? like, in thor ragnarok for example, there are a bunch of scene changes that happen via the bifrost, via people going through doors. there are wide shots that jump to wide shots in other places, so youre not suddenly on a close-up. there are a lot of people emerging from something into view, and there are a lof of people being alone in the center of the frame. it’s a very smooth and easy to watch movie. JL is the opposite of this in every way. I SUSPECT. AGAIN. THAT WHILE THIS WOULDNT HAVE BEEN FIXED ENTIRELY. THAT THOSE EXTRA TWENTY MINUTES THAT WERE CUT WERE PROBABLY REALLY IMPORTANT

the lois lane bit where she calms supes down just reminded me of the age of ultron and i quoted “sun’s going down” at my friends who were with me and they shit themselves laughing

ma kent calls lois lane “thirsty” in a Hilarious Teen Humor Gag thanks joss whedon you fucking hack

bruce wayne is fucking useless he could have got barry ANY JOB EVER and like... my god whatever.

also i still dont understand how how voice sounds like that when he’s batmanuh the after after credits scene is setting up, according to my friend, a sinister six movie. deathstroke isnt played by manu bennett so it’s fucking usless thanks for coming to my ted talk

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yesthebatmanme · 7 years ago

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When the fandom starts bickering like school children over if Crisis on Earth -X is better than Justice League. And tell them to shut up.

Krim Steinbelt style.

I personally don’t care if you like Crisis on Earth-X better than JL but don’t go telling me oh i’m stupid for prefering a big budget flim which is flawed but had great moments that made me not regret i spent money seeing it.

Crisis on Earth-X was okay but not enough i would recommend anyone to watch it over Justice League.

I hated how Olicity stole WestAllan’s thunder with their drama. I’m not a hater of Olicity but not a huge fan of it neither. While they get a wedding on their own show the Flash has to spend their honeymoon dealing with the Thinker. Yeah way the go writers give WestAllan crap and Olicity gets all the great moments.

All ill say the other person with no superpowers in the League wouldn’t pull this type of bullshit in a friends wedding out of all places to try to marry your on again and off again girlfriend yeah how childish can you get people.

Speaking of that i’m still bothered by the fact Oliver has Kryptonite even though there isn’t as far we all know a Krypton that was blown up on earth-1. Unless Oliver secretly went into other worlds behind everybody’s back i’m calling bullshit on this one. At least in BVS Batman stole the Kryptonite from Luthor and put it to good use against Superman unlike Oliver who didn’t have any type of strategy to take down Overgirl. If it was Batfleck it would’ev been over it with her. Kryptonite isn’t exactly something you can get from a jewelry store. Come on now Arrow writers y’all should know better than this. I get it you want Arrow to be cool as Batfleck if not not better but it dont work that way.

Barry was alright but i felt he was underused on this one. I wasn’t too thrilled of this to be very honest with you here. And no i’m not going thru this whole Ezra Miller vs Grant Gustin war. I like both so nuff said.

Melissa Benoist is good as Supergirl but i read this comment somewhere she said lines i wished Henry Cavill’s Superman should’ev said on Justice League. And im like.

Y’all need to lay off Cavill he played Superman as best as he could in Justice League. What more does he have to do prove himself to be Superman? He kicked the Justice League’s ass and yes even Batman till his big gun came to save the or it would’ev been a very sad day for us Batman fans.

I enjoyed Cavill as Superman overall in Justice League. I don’t expect him to be as good or even trying to be the new Christopher Reeve, I really don’t want that i only want Henry to keep on being his own Superman like he’s been doing since of Man of Steel developing his Superman character that some people don’t get. I’m not hating on Melissa Benoist she’s a good actress but comparing her to Henry Cavill or even Gal Gadot is uncalled for here.

They are some things i liked the final battle was good but not better than Justice League or Avengers.

The return of Snart even if it’d Earth-X Snart but dammit he was awesome in it.

I liked seeing Earth-X Wells /Thawn.

But the crossover better than the last one ill say this despite it’s flaws.

That’s my honest opinion on the subject.

You can agree or disagree, that’s your call.

But don’t force feed me to like what you like and hate what you hate.

#crisis on earth x #justice league #krimsteinbelt #henry cavill #batman #arrow #westallan

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talcgargoyle · 7 years ago

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Taggity tag thing

Tagged by @crispyninjadonut and @the-three-space-gals thank you beautiful people

Rules: answer 30 questions then tag 20 people you’d like to know better

Nicknames: Liz, Lizzie, Squish was there for a little while, kohai ( @alexfierrno is my Senpai), cheesecake, my (very strange) family irl calls me Quamp Gender: cisfemale (I think probably) Star Sign: Pisces MBTI Type: INF(T)P Height: pretty close to 5'3" Time: 10:45 pm Birthday: March 14 Fav Bands: Misterwives, P!ATD, Young the Giant, Simon and Garfunkel, the Griswolds, Hydrogen Child Fav solo artists: p!nk, Owl City, TUNEYARDS Song stuck in my mind: Superman by Ivory Layne Last movie watched: Dodgeball Last show watched: I watched a couple episodes of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt When did I create my blog: December 2016 What do I post abt: uh, funny things, cute things, things from my life that I think are funny or helpful, some stuff about my depression and recovery, PJO, a lot of animals, and some aroace goodness Last thing I googled: “adventure time” because I wanted to see how much of an actual plot line they got outta that show and I’m still trying to figure it all out Do you have other blogs: I have @cahteen that barely has any posts and is theoretically about having Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia as a teenager, @cheesecakeiam dedicated to cheesecake, and I’m a mod on @weird-ads-lore-sees, which is, as you could imagine, weird ads found whilst spending a ridiculous amount of time on this website Why did you choose your url: I am in constant need of hugs and or awkward physical contact, I am horrible at being social, and I’m asexual! Following: 547 Followers: 182 (excited) Fav Color: aquamarine (also my birthstone!) Average hours of sleep: in the summer like 9 Lucky number: idk, probably 14 Instruments: I played flute really badly from fourth to sixth grade, but now it’s just my melodious voice gracing the ears of anyone with the pleasure of hearing me try to sing Satisfied for the eighth time in a row What i’m wearing: pajamas How many blankets do I sleep with: well, my bed has like six blankets on it, but I only use one Dream job: either a pediatric endocrinologist or a biomedical engineer/researcher (yep I’m a nerd) Dream trip: I’ve got a reason to visit the Netherlands @ultradoctorduck and (oh my god I’m blanking right now I know it’s South America, is it Bolivia?) @death-girl139 Fav food: Cheesecake Nationality: American Now to tag people

@alexfierrno @ultradoctorduck @death-girl139 @halfasleepfangirl @lavendercastiel @heyheyheyitsolehickoryhammike @fifthconfiguration @unique-intestine @pichubrothers123 @aespalding0150 @singerqueen @bisexualvulpix @folieavengers @run-to-stand-still @secretly-an-underlander @ whoever else wants to do this and @ anyone im forgetting I’m sorry I’m tired

#tag games

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