#im not mad either. im not hurting.
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North and Simon: (shaking hands on killing Simon potentially)
#detroit become human#north wr400#simon pl600#markus rk200#josh pj500#jericho is just... so funny to me as like. how they function (or dont)#like im v glad that i did a Good Job my first run and no one hated me but i also felt like a very distraught parent#in regards to how markus is just able to either hurt them (by suggestions OF THE OTHERS IN THE GROUP)#or help them because hey what the fuck i just dragged simon to safety and now north wants me to kill him#and then simon like oh no north got shot you should leave her BUT ! i saved her and made simon happy#so its like you know what they have to have some animosity but also respect#i feel like i wanna see more of north and simon being buddies ... and i might have to do that myself#but i also apologize if this is ooc for them because i really did only just play through once and got a not good end#i probably missed a lot of lore and stuff so im v sorry if im Messing Them Up#its currently just me liking their designs and vibes and hoping im not ruining other fans lives by being wrong#and i honestly dont know when north would kill simon but hes on her possible victims list#so since both of their victim lists include themselves for suicide it just reminded me of the meme#with im so mad im gonna (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health)#and it was like yeah watch north be like im gonna (well if i cant kill myself because markus said no suicide) murder someone
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and they were singin', bye-bye Miss American Pie // american oldie i think kuwabara unironically listens to
(low effort lyric edit im queueing here in May cos im probably gonna forget it exists otherwise)
#qeued post#for June cos hey pride#the idea of kuwa seeing his friends in a holy almost godly light namely yusuke#and having them all leave unexpectedly#cos before that night at Genkai's i feel like it was solidified in kuwa's brain DESPITE the sidekick complex#DESPITE the fact that he's human and the least powerful member they are still decidedly a team#A team he has a place on. But then all suddenly springing this... YUSUKE springing this departure on him. shatters that belief#yusuke says he'll be back and it seems to make things better but even so kuwabara's face still looks so solemn when he leaves#Likely cos he knows yusuke is just saying shit and doesn't even know if it's possible to come back#this wasn't supposed to be a kuwameshi post it's really not but there's always that undertone when i talk about them so#He just admires them all so much yusuke above all others only to be left behind and that's gotta fuckin hurt#The way we don't see the resolution to this feeling. The lack of belonging the abandonment#next time we see him he's just supposed to be over it but we don't really know if it actually happened#So I like to play with the idea of like . Did he really like healthily accept things or#did he just repress it and deal. Cos like eng dub he tells yusuke ''forget all that stuff I said'' immediately taking back#his harsh words bc it's either stay mad stay upset or quickly forgive and move on cos this could be the last time. or even the jdub#where he doesn't even allow the vulnerability to show enough to trail off he just spouts the normal shit bc it's what they DO he immediatel#tries to get back to the normal dynamic and push himself to being fine with it right now bc he doesn't have the luxury of being upset#when it doesn't matter cos yusuke's leaving. the last thing he hears from him shouldnt be reckless shit he was saying when he lashed out#aka i dont think kuwa's feelings get seriously addressed enough and this episode haunts me cos of that very fact#Im not making any sense. Nico as my witness I swear I was more eloquent yapping to him about it#kuwabara kazuma#yu yu hakusho#kuwameshi
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i had a dream i was reading a would-be superfam comic but it sucked so bad (made clark out to be an asshole and kon as just stupid and incompetent comic relief AND forgot about ttk. and kara was homophobic... to krypto??? in the dream i was so annoyed but this is really funny actually) and i was reading it and i got really mad about the plot of this dream comic, and then for SOME REASON two characters who absolutely had no business being on a space mission in this supposedly superfam comic showed up. and i got so irritated i was like "fuck this entirely" and woke up. with a migraine. okay,
#rimi talks#my migraine dreams are always ridiculous. they're often about weird scenarios but usually ones that make me mad#either they make me mad or they make me just frustrated and upset. and then i wake up and go wait what the fuck what even was that#in this case dream-me was so so annoyed by this comic that doesn't exist but now that im awake im just. What was that. help#also my head hurts and im going to explode but. that's whatever
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I love how you can purposely cater you internet experience to block most politics so you can mentally detox since your media consumption was becoming unhealthy, and still have a whole week of attempting to regain your hope in humanity become completely undone by wanting to eat lunch with your mom (ramble in tags, feel free to ignore; take care of yourselves first <3)
#politics#us politics#tags so people can block this post#it's just so cool and awesome that things work like that#i was genuinely doing so much better#i was engaging with news in a healthier way#i was fixing my focus on what to do moving forward#but then i had the audacity to want to eat lunch with my mother instead of holing up in my room#she turned on fox news and i tuned it out... talking about stuff with them always turns into debates and its mentality exhausting#so i generally just keep my mouth shut unless asked#but then she started commenting on the news out loud#and so being a personable person i did my best to respond#they were talking about mass deportation of ''illegal criminals'' and she asked out loud why they havent sent them away already#so i said “oh well its expensive and there's not always places that are willing to take them”... left my opinion on the sentiment out of it#that was the WRONG thing to say apparently#devolved into a debate where she ultimately said “ok but it was a rhetorical question and i didnt actually want an answer”#how was i supposed to know that????? im the only person in the room??? thats not what rhetorical questions are used for??????#so we moved on from the topic#she said something along the lines of “pff and people come in illegally and still want to seek asylum”#so again i speak up#told her (with a quick google search to back it up) that people can either apply for asylum at the border or after entering illegally#as long as its within a year of entering#that was ALSO THE WRONG THING TO SAY#she reiterated that she still wasn't asking and added “im just watching the news; i dont want to google anything”#and im like...#...one; she mentioned in her “thinking out loud” rambles that she's aware that i dont like to talk about this stuff with her#but that this stuff is important to talk about... which i took as a “why won't you talk with me?”#so ouch#but also... whY ARE YOU WATCHING THE NEWS IF YOU DON'T CARE TO VERIFY ANY OF IT#im out of tags to ramble in but I'm still so hurt and mad and i have been reminded how little people care about compassion and factuality
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Actually I have just now decided I really like Luke (I just gave him mommy issues ☠️ and it worked)
#erm to explain he rly loves his mom and they always laugh around n hes a golden child n share (almkst) everything w each other#except shes always asking if hes gonna get a girlfriend ahy time soon and luke already knows shes pretty conservative so hes afraid of how#shell react to him dating zander so he doesnt say at first.#and hes afraid of burdening her w worries cuz she already has a lot on her back like her job all day n night and has been stressing recentl#so luke worries him being pan might “overburden” her even more#and so he takes the chore of.cooking n cleaning around the house n such and shes always super thankful#overall very loving but conservative and anxious n tired which makes him afraid of what shell see on hom. what hell lose#then one day he actually does mention how hes dating Xander. n his suspicions were correct cuz dhe gets pretty confused and mad#so he runs away to zanders home and asks if he can stay over w a smile trying yo hide his pain#and the wickhams n austins are pretty confused but they let him in#UHM do u get me#luke peterson#and from that day on he either A) grows distant from his mom and griefs losing everything they had but has to accepy that loss and learn to#be himself rather than pretend to be someoke for someone else (tying into the whole theme of the show being accepting yourself)#or B) his mom starts putting genuine effort into changing n understanding him after she sees how much hes hurt#tying into the shows message of people changing and growning and owning up to their mistakes#tmf luke#luke tmf#im cringe af#toki rambles#in the tags#tmf#the Music freaks#freakblr
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Ok im Very sleepy rn it's 2 am bare with me
What do we think Jon would think of How The fandom sees him? And I don't mean this in a pedantic "oh fandom bad because dumbed down and Insert Petty Headcanon Disagreement"
I mean this entirely in a "How would Jon, The man who believes himself to be an Irredeemable monster who is to blame for everything that ever went wrong, react to Just so so many people listening to his shortcommings and ultimately seeing his side"
Like yeah everyone agrees he's kind of an asshole sometimes but he is so beloved by The fans?
I'm sure some people did but I've never seen anyone doubting his humanity or blaming him for the horrors™ he Just clearly understood as his fault? Like yeah Martin tried telling him it wasn't but what I'm getting at is
I love to think about what Jon would do If he saw just the ocean of people who listened to (what he considers to be)
the most unsympathetic person in the world becoming a monster and making choices that brought the literal apocalypse upon humanity
and pretty much everyone saying "he did the best anyone could reasonably expect and he is not a bad person for being caught in the crossfire of an impossible situation with no good solutions"
remember that time in mag 187 a lady grabbed jon in fear and he shouted and presumably pushed her away? and everyone and their mother defended jon's humanity because that was a textbook trauma response i think he would break down crying if he saw that
#this was brought to you by my sleep deprived brain#im just im like just#everyone is always mad at him for not taking enought initiative or sulking or making decisions for others#and i love him so much#he is probably the character that makes me the most un-normal he is Masterfully written#And he hates himself so much and so many people in podcast feed his insecurities back to him#It makes sense they're all hurt and he doesn't always make the best decisions.#there's nothing he can do to make it right enought by other people#and everyone thinks he is doing a bad job at being an unwilling participant of this fucked up power system#again it makes SENSE they didn't ask for that either and jon is the mascot of the eye#he is both a scapegoat and a sacrificial lamb#if jonah that crusty old man ever did anything truky smart it was making jon eldritch middle management#like yeah everyone hates him more but most of the time he is untouchable so jon tajes all the heat#wich helps isolating him more and making it easier to manipulate him#everyone praised or at least had some resigned respect for gertrude and her actions. but that's because she is almost imaginary to them#the characters obsviously don't enjoy being in the middle of this either and jon is the only one with some form of real power there#(that's more or less on their side at least)#ough#yeaouh#nnahoughh even#we we criticize jon from time to time#but i really love that most people are willing to fight tooth and nail to defend him#he is just such a human character and despiste everything that happens he is so very clearly just a person who is trying#the character ever#all I'm saying is i would like to know how jon would react to not one not two#but thousands of people who are able to see him and understand he shouldn't to be a perfect victim#the magnus archives#tma#jonathan sims
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Hi story I’m drunk + high rn great combo. Frank Castle. I need to **** *** *-**** ** **** ** **** ***
-cab
hello cab! thank god for tumblrs completely automatic censorship of that type of thing (very real very true i didnt make it up) that being said god. god real. whatever it was probably and even if not then at least i can understand the feeling
#poor pixie wanting to share her palia gameplay with me just for me to cut in with 'if i could get hard id be so hard it would hurt rn'#tbh the artstyle of that specific comic panel i sent does drive me mad. frank looks young and a little too pretty sure but#at the same time. so squishable#sorry i on the other hand just woke up and its like noon. im not entirely lucid either KJHGDS
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Thinkin bout my isat au now, I don't have much of an idea on it cuz tbf I barely changed anything other than well-- Odile is in pain now. Just thinking more bout scenarios that'd differ during the uhh... new loop+?????? How'd I even go about calling that new set of loops now?
Just that the most visible change would be on Odile who's now waaay more tired looking and a lil more slower than usual. So in a way her battle style becomes a lil bit like a glass cannon in that she hits HARD but takes time for her to get a hit in now. And as the loops go on, she becomes weaker on the defense department so she truly be a glass cannon. Odile also doesn't "level up" in this au too since she had already maxed her experience out, it's just that she's also slowly dying so to be fair-- Her exp is fine but her hp isn't and her lvl is being treated like a timer of her slowly approaching doom. So even if her levels lower, it won't really affect her experience and the spells she had already unlocked. To the Universe, she's still as experienced as a lvl 99 person, it's just that now she's becoming as fragile as someone lower leveled.
She retains her more powerful spells but using those spells would backfire on her and result in a recoil that ALSO hurts her, not as much as she damages the enemies, but a significant of her hp gets taken away still.
#aria rants#isat spoilers#isat au#edit: okay its all cleaned up now. everyone can look. this is why i should save to drafts first than posting immediately...#also am thinkin bout the moral dilemma with the friends now esp with mira as mira doesnt rlly Like knowing bout the previous miras#so when they eventually remember the previous loop. then i think she'd end up with a reaaaally confusing problem of#''i know what happened in the previous didnt happen now and i know you felt bad about it and i know i shouldnt be mad#about it either since im different than that mira but i also just cant help but feel hurt by it anyway but i KNOW I SHOULDNT--''#i think everyone would have a moment of confusion on How to take in the previous loop esp with the events that happened#during act 5. everyone is hurt. but they also shouldnt be hurt cuz that event technically Didnt happen in this timeline now#but they Remember it. they remember it happened. they remember how it felt. they remember how hurtful odile's words were#they remember but they shouldnt remember it. they understand odile but they also just cant help but be hurt by it anyway#and they Dont Know what to do with that now. they remember that loop and yet now theyre in a different loop#its in a past that never exists now but They Remember and they dont know what to do about it now#just yaknow-- the dilemma of remembering a past that doesnt exist and remembering the feelings of a past thats been overwritten#cuz frankly-- how Do you tackle that dilemma? you try to address it and it feels off. you try to understand it and it still hurts#and you cant dwell on it rn either cuz other than the life and death situation of the king freezing vaugarde in time. theres odile#whose life is slowly withering away like a flower in a vase with a water that has long dried up and its now at the mercy of wilting#of gems and pages au#ogap au
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if people could just LISTEN . it's really frustrating cuz i hate raising my voice above 50 decibels
#also my throat kinda hurts in shouting#vent so skip if u want#.#..#....#...#......#-#--#---#₹#^#----------#i got shouted at for not picking up my phone and stuff a few days ago#like my dad was calling my mom and her phone was w me and stuff#so he got mad and ofc took it out on mom#who in turn took it out on me#i mean it was partially my fault#but i couldnt call back anyone cuz my phone ran out of calling and internet service#so i couldnt call or receive calls either#i had mentioned it when she was scolding it that day#today she again got mad when i wasnt picking yp the phone#and when i said it she and dad both were like “why didnt u say it before”#i did.#u didnt listen u were too busy gettnng mad to hear my side#this has happened too many times tbh#hence ive stopped teying ro justify myself#fuck it im not draining myself on them
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!! PJSK SPOILERS !!
its mizuover chat were cooked
get her outa there NEOW
#🐛#i cant breathe wtf#i saw this yesterday but im only now getting it#oh nooooo#my baby#i cant wait for her event but i dont wanna know what will happen#i think shes either gonna get outed#or#ena will get mad at her for keeping a secret or smth#ena would NAWT make her hurt like that#this is so#sick#and#fucking twisteddddd#SICK AND TWISTED#project sekai#pjsk#mizuki akiyama#n25 mizuki#mizuki pjsk#pjsk spoilers
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i wish i could cry regularly instead of just having a bunch of pent up rage with nowhere to go
#im really mad rn and i WANT to cry but i just cant yknow??#i just hate this i hate this i hate this and i wish my body would let me let out my emotions#but i cant cry i dont want to punch anything and i cant fucking go anywhere#and i dont want to yell at the person im mad at either#it just hurts even though no one ever means any of this maliciously#they just forget about me instead and its honestly worse#i just want to cry about it or do SOMETHING about it#but i cant so#ughhhhhhh#personal#vent#fake shitpost#feel free to reblog this seems pretty…. relatable and widely applicable lol
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I’ve been so badly traumatized by people online constantly demanding my attention and snuffing me out in the worst possible ways in the past that to this day I dont know how to properly emotionally navigate this kind of behavior when i am faced with it again, even when its mild.
I’ve went through experiencing unrelenting and overbearing messaging to weird guilt trips and even (I hope to dear god my assumptions to be wrong here) people vagueing at me in such an oddly specific, hurtful manner when i dont appear to be available for their needs and it just...Fuck, it eats away at me. It doesnt happen too often nowdays but, I recognize those behaviors returning and it bothers me alot...
Its easy when its strangers unlike my fucked up now ex friends, I can just put the boundary without all of the previous mess...But I cant shake how incredibly mad it still makes me TT This inappropriate reaction to want to bite and lash out and burn that bridge immediatly to spare myself a FRACTION of the trouble, and for fucks sake i know its still the remnants of the damage inflicted upon me echoing out as self defense but its so uncalled for and im tired of feeling like a mad dog when this trigger is being activated. I really want to unlearn this behavior...
#ventful howling#Want to tell people off politely instead of growing so overwhelmed with either anger or apathy#I dont want to go into details as to why it effects me so much because my ex friends abused this so fucking hard for me and it certainly#left a mark that remained to this day and its one of the main reasons why ive been so distant and distrustful online#socializing has always been such a tough subject for me as someone who struggled with self expression their entire life#I went through all the wrong people in the past that made it ten times worse#and i feel so damn mad for going through what they put me through#i dont want their damage to sip onto my life. my relationships.#i dont want to unjustly hurt someone with the residue of my struggles especially when im well aware most people are not out to get me ;;#communication is hard...But its incredibly important to me and i want to protect it both ways#just...needed to get this out#will delete later
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i know eichia duet doesn't even have like a glimmer of a chance in hell of possibly being th3 actual pick for it but well. what is living without dreaming
#not even voting them for super serious reasons althought#i do become physically ill everytime they interact. when eichi showed up in stella maris it#was such a jumpscare. Literally targeting me specifically trying to hurt me#BUT ANYWAYS i also jsit really trally like botu their voices#chiak has my fav voice in all of enstar and eichi is up there too#and i think they soumd very nice together :]#if not in a somg toegther for one of these#ihope they get shuffle together. maybe. i wont b3 too mad if th3y dont either.#im easy to please
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i watched the 2007 rgg movie tonight just to see what its like and i have a lot to say about it but for now i just doodled my favorite scene bc i could not handle it
#ryu ga gotoku#yakuza#overall my thoughts about it were that it was very funny but mostly in the ways it wasnt supposed to be#the casting was.... mostly bad honestly#kiryu's actor's face made me SO MAD he just pissed me off every time i saw him#he looked like some slick asshole i hated him#he didnt move or emote like kiryu either like that was straight up a different man#majima looked... not good. and sounded worse. BUT. his actor really fucking gave it his all#he was acted very well and conveyed majima perfectly i think. many good majima moments this was but one of them#funniest part by far was the nishiki reveal tho. MY GOD. he looked SO EXCEPTIONALLY BAD.#i was laughing for five solid minutes i had to pause and take a picture#my cheeks fucking hurt laughing at nishiki. dear lord. im very sorry to his actor he just. LOOKED. REALLY BAD. SORRY.#there were also so many random people i spent half the movie going who the FUCK is that??#overall it was like. if you never played the game you wouldnt understand it.#if you DID play the game.... you wouldnt understand it. also you would hate it.#who was this for??? idk. but im glad i watched it.#actually the throat-sitting scene singlehandedly saved the entire movie. my god. holy fuck. holy shit. oh my god.#they should do that in the game. ill combust into flames.#ok thats all <3
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Ok so um anyways guess who's cleaning like 5 Halloween mask they collect and love rn at 1:30 am because their cat peeded on them😍😍
Ummm does anyone have tips on how to clean them properly?? Most of them are plastic but 3 of them have LEDs in them and one of them is silicone I THINK and has hair/fur
#AAAACK#thats not even all im gonna have to deep clean the container they were in with my nerf guns and whatever else is in it because-#their cat peed in it#😍😍😍#im not mad its giving me an excuse to be productive#the one that hurt me the most was my werewolf and owl(MY PRIDE AND JOYS) mask mostly the werewolf cuz it has FUR on it and its BADDDD#😭😭#my owl mask is at LEAST solid#im just trying to figure out how to clean them mostly my werewolf mask#like do i hadn wash it??? is it fine to go in the washing machine and then air dry???#my biggest concern for the washing machine is its fur either falling out or getting all matted😫😫#cuz i dont got the hair brush for that💀#anyways ima try actually interaction with my moots either when im done or tomorrow#cat problems#oh but i love her so much🥰#mask#mask collector#mask lover#help#im just throwing out tags to hopfully reach someone with more knowledge then me💀🙏
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Actually cry so goddamn hard when I think about Shinjiro Aragaki healing and being loved and having to learn to be okay with himself and being taken care of
#writing him has just been like. OOOOWOEOEOEOOE i piss tears i cant handle this shit this gay ass shit#i came up with an idea for just like a cute short one shot i wanna do soon and hnnnghh im so emo about it#very healing its like very hard to write some of the shit im gonna be writing cuz basically#some of it is just a little too real man and while i crave the angst and the drama i am just like#AND THEN EVERYONE HOLDS HANDS AND ITS OKAY PLEASE DONT CRY PLEASE#and ive mentioned how shinji has accidentally become nb to me now because i just kinda happened to write him that way without meaning to#and now another thing im noticing is that in my fic hes kinda bpd coded#it definitely wasnt intentional but now im accepting it as truth no one can stop me#i just really need him to be happy its more important to me than anything else man i need it for me#and he needs to be gay with aki they need to kissy and i think its funny cuz even in the parts where shinji is mad at aki and pushing him#away its like. he kinda has it bad lol and its clear he feels no actual hatred towards aki but more just self deprecation because he doesnt#feel good enough and like idk i just think about their respective roles in society like#aki is an honor student star boxer hero very attractive very kind very popular got adopted by a rich family#hes going places you know meanwhile shinji is a drop out who never had a family ever hes homeless hes sketchy hes on drugs#his reputation couldnt be any worse and he just leans into it and feels he has no future and hes worthless garbage#and aki could literally have anyone he wants you know he has an army of girls pining over him but he doesnt want them#HE WANTS SHINJI AND NO ONE ELSE HE SPENDS YEARS CHASING AFTER HIM#and shinji HATES it hes trying so hard to push him away and be the crusty delinquent and make aki see how worthless he really is#but aki just doesnt stop he loves him so much makes me sick SICK#and shinji really loves him back hes like not gonna shut up ever about aki hes like either doing it in a gay ass annoyed way#or hes like ‘haha omg aki is so cute though hes always trying so hard to be tough but hes just so sweet and gentle you know i hope he#doesnt push himself too hard if he got hurt id fall apart hes so silly i hope hes eating good i desire him carnally’#yeah sorry gamers this is just a pairing i cant be normal about they mean so much to me personally the fate of the world rests upon them
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