#im not living I’m just here ✌️ and everyone knows I’m not gonna fucking amount to something
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bleh
#Im out of antidepressants n birth control so that’s prolly why I feel so blank inside but like#part of me is so mad I let people guilt me into not killing my self#and I know how that sounds#weghh not ‘mad’ but more like#now what#im here#what do you want me to do#I don’t want to be here I have like 4 things I care about. I don’t want to talk to people I don’t want to do anything#and I still am but I’m just rotting#is that any better than just killing myself? I wasn’t made for existence and I think it’s okay to acknowledge that now#im bad at being a person and I don’t want to anymore!!! bro I been suicidal since I was 8 am I just a good actor so these people think pilld#actually work lol 😭 they just make me numb and TAHTS part of the reason I wanna die#im not living I’m just here ✌️ and everyone knows I’m not gonna fucking amount to something#I don’t get why killing myself would be a bad thing if u believe in like heaven or whatever we’ll all go there eventually#well not me#or my parents#I don’t think I believe in that anyway. how the fuck do I have acid reflux I ate ONCE today#but yeah we all die why can’t I choose. I have like 4 wants maybe.#and like money wise me killing my self is the worst option only because so many people have invested in me#but I never told them to do that. that’s on them#whatever I need to take a walk tomorrow I’ve been in my room for too long anyway#prolly get my head clear or whatever#suicide ment#vent#I would much rather vent abt how much I wanna kill myself than try and regret it
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