#actually work lol š they just make me numb and TAHTS part of the reason I wanna die
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bleh
#Im out of antidepressants n birth control so thatās prolly why I feel so blank inside but like#part of me is so mad I let people guilt me into not killing my self#and I know how that sounds#weghh not āmadā but more like#now what#im here#what do you want me to do#I donāt want to be here I have like 4 things I care about. I donāt want to talk to people I donāt want to do anything#and I still am but Iām just rotting#is that any better than just killing myself? I wasnāt made for existence and I think itās okay to acknowledge that now#im bad at being a person and I donāt want to anymore!!! bro I been suicidal since I was 8 am I just a good actor so these people think pilld#actually work lol š they just make me numb and TAHTS part of the reason I wanna die#im not living Iām just here āļø and everyone knows Iām not gonna fucking amount to something#I donāt get why killing myself would be a bad thing if u believe in like heaven or whatever weāll all go there eventually#well not me#or my parents#I donāt think I believe in that anyway. how the fuck do I have acid reflux I ate ONCE today#but yeah we all die why canāt I choose. I have like 4 wants maybe.#and like money wise me killing my self is the worst option only because so many people have invested in me#but I never told them to do that. thatās on them#whatever I need to take a walk tomorrow Iāve been in my room for too long anyway#prolly get my head clear or whatever#suicide ment#vent#I would much rather vent abt how much I wanna kill myself than try and regret it
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